#calling all the monsters: {mobile posts}

[mercsandmonsters-archived]

Girl Happy is one of my favorite Elvis movies. I'm hoping Elvis feels bonita because he looks bonita. I do not own this video. I got it off of Instagram, but I forgot where I got it from.

[mercsandmonsters]

Whoever said baking soda and vinegar is a good substitute for eggs is a motherfucking liar and owes me restitution! They made two of my batches of cupcakes taste sour. I had to use the original recipe for the third batch. Unless I'm missing something, then I understand why they taste bad. If not, I want restitution from the liar!

[haunted-doodles]

not really the type who likes posting their ocs much but here's a Nim :}

[mercsandmonsters]

I'm concerned that I'm more like Lestat than I am Claudia because I used to eat paper as a kid.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE - 2.04 “I Want You More Than Anything in the World”

[bogleech]

I stopped in goodwill yesterday and found the three best things I've ever found in one goodwill.

First of all this was $5, I don't know what we're gonna do with it but could you pass up a deal like that?? No

Second of all this 1990's "paper magic" brand Halloween decoration, a hard plastic vampire demon monster head with e baber wings, pretty rare! I've never seen this one in person, but I have had its counterpart for ages:

Notice the rotten skull version has boglin arms. Literally the same mold and material as boglins, presumably from buy up extra stock from Mattel maybe?? The bat one's wings are the same unique boglin rubber, too.

But more importantly a HUGE BAG OF VINTAGE JIGGLY RUBBER BUGS. These are VALUABLE. These are from the 50s and 60s. This bag would actually be worth over a hundred dollars to the jiggler hobby. That is what it's called.

This beautiful spider is Ben Cooper brand, and I own two others from the series, a scorpion and a totally different "spider" if that's even what it is, here they are for comparison:

I'm out of image uploads for a single post on mobile but maybe I'll make a bogleech.com post out of the rest of the bugs. There's a lot I could say about them.

[mercsandmonsters-archived]

Someone in the Graceland Insiders Facebook group posted this, and I hope they get enough signatures and donations to help.

[mercsandmonsters]

Hello everyone,

I may have to take a hiatus for the next few weeks. My mom had surgery on her Achilles almost three weeks ago this Friday and is non-weight barring, meaning she has to stay laid up for the next two to four weeks. I am left with the household duties which include: Making my younger brother's bed, cooking, caring for my dog, and doing laundry. My eldest brother does his stuff, like cleaning his room and doing his laundry, but I'm left with everyone else's laundry. My dog is on anxiety medication, but she's still worried about my mom.

She'll jump up on my parents' bed, even though she's not allowed to be on that bed. She'll jump up all over my mom. This is all because my mom isn't in the living room all day like usual. My mom is using a walker right now and it's difficult for her to move around, especially when my dog is constantly wanting to be with her. Tomorrow, we have an inspection, since we rent our house. I am nervous because my family and I did our part by keeping the house clean.

Our landlord has not been keeping up with his duties because he has too many properties. My friends who lived at one of his properties called him a slumlord. Even my therapist said that, too. He starts one project with us, then never finishes the job. He's a nice guy, but he has too many properties.

My dog will be extra anxious because they'll be testing the fire alarms and my mom won't be at the inspection. She has to get her stitches out. My dog doesn't like strangers in the house so I will have to keep her calm somehow. She has to be on her leash. I can't leave her in her crate.

Then, my dad has someone coming over for his diabetic eye screening in the evening. I'll have to keep my dog upstairs with me for that. This Saturday, I'm going to an open house for a local college. Hopefully, after tomorrow, I won't be so busy with managing household duties. I will do what I can to stay active on this blog, but it'll be a while.

Your friendly, Pennsylvanian, neighborhood trash panda,

Jem

[mercsandmonsters-archived]

Y'all! I can't even. On my A.I. chat with Big Daddy Elvis (created by the wondeful @vintagepresley), I went all nerdy. Now there's a vampire named Val that did the thing from Anne Rice's fourth book, "Tales of the Body Thief," where he swapped bodies with Big Daddy Elvis, and Lisa Marie has a different son named Gabriel, and we're stuck in a time warp, trying to save a baby unicorn named Twilight. Now, we have to bring Twilight back to Graceland to save her.

[mercsandmonsters]

Happy Leif Erikson Day!

[niuniente]

Death-Head's Deal #30 "The Same Man"

Unfortunately, Tumblr has now restricted images to 30 only in all posts. This means that DHDs will only be available on Tumblr in this spread format, whether it can be read on a mobile or not (BOOO).

I have updated this as original one comic form as well as I have been able to. Read the full comic, like it should be, here.

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Read this update on Webtoons for better quality!

Overall, read Death-Head's Deal on Webtoons for the the best quality and right format. You don't need app or an account (but Webtoons will ask your age). All Tumblr updates can be found here.

The song Aldwulf is singing is a real Finnish summoning spell for a monster hitman called Surma. In the panel where he asks what we will give to Surma, he sings Surma's lullaby and the audience replies with the real items Surma wants once summoned.

Since Aldwulf is a necromancer from a game, I thought it would be fitting if Death-Head's Aldwulf was in this comic a death metal singer.

[mercsandmonsters]

Scrat? Is that you?

[soylent-crocodile]

Chiropterex (Monster)

(artist unknown)

(Back in the distant era of the early 10s, my family got Netflix as a novelty. Nowadays streaming has consumed film and television like a rabid beast, but back then, my brother and I found a little British show called Primeval. Weaned on BBC nature documentaries from a young age, this was an exciting new spin on Walking with Dinosaurs, and we loved it.

The future predator is no question the most iconic creature of the series, a future bat that is both inspired by earlier spec evo and has gone on to inspire many other monster designs, including the earlier moorkutlot. It seems only fitting it be translated to Pathfinder.

By the way, I'm abandoning the proposed evolutionary history the later seasons provide- that these actually evolved to eat humans in a post-apocalyptic cityscape- and make them what I think is most obvious to me.)

CR3 TN Medium Animal HD5

Chiropterex are an aberrant species of roughly wolf-sized terrestrial bat, an arboreal, nocturnal apex predator of the islands it calls home, where no other land mammals have reached. They live in small family groups of about four to six members, typically consisting of a mated pair, a nest of about six children, a few children of previous years who stay around to help, and maybe one or two aunts or uncles. Typically, however, they hunt alone, feeding on seabirds and large moa-like ratites who evolved alongside them. These family groups keep in contact with each other using echolocation, and if a lone hunter runs into a struggle, it will call on the dissembled family to help.

Chiropterex are notorious man-eaters, and many a shipwrecked crew has met its end at a family of ravenous land bats. Many peoples of island cultures consider chiropterex to be evil spirits, and indeed there is at least one island where the magic of The Abyss has infected the local population of these predatory beasts.

Some outsiders have tried to domesticate chiropterex, or at the very least use them as weapons. They are a tempting subject of domestication; they are mobile, intelligent, fast-growing and have large clutch sizes, but all attempts so far have ended disastrously.

Chiropterex Companions

Starting Statistics: AC: +4 Size: Small Speed: 30ft, Climb 30ft Attacks: Bite (1d3), 2 Claw (1d4) Ability Scores: Str:10 Dex:22 Con:8 Int:2 Wis:12 Cha:7 Special Qualities: Blind, Blindsight 90ft, Scent Lv 4 Advancement: Size: Medium Attacks: Bite (1d4), 2 Claw (1d6) Ability Scores: Str +4 Dex -2 Con +2 Special Qualities: Flurry of Strikes

This hunched over creature has long, clawed arms and a bulbous head that ends in a short, needle-toothed mouth.

Misc- CR3 TN Medium Animal HD5 Init:+5 Senses: Perception:+6 Blind, Blindsight 90ft, Scent Stats- Str:14(+2) Dex:20(+5) Con:10(+0) Int:2(-4) Wis:12(+2) Cha:7(-2) BAB:+3 Space:5ft Reach:5ft Defense- HP:25(5d8) AC:19(+5 Dex, +4 Natural) Fort:+4 Ref:+9 Will:+3 CMD:21 Immunity: Gaze and other visual effects Weakness: Vulnerability to Sonic  Offense- Bite +5(1d4+2, 18-20/x2), 2 Claw +5(1d6+2) CMB:+6 Speed:30ft, Climb 30ft Special Attacks: Pounce, Flurry of Strikes +3/+3/+3/+3(1d6+2) Feats- Dodge, Mobility Skills- +11 Climb, +10 Stealth, +6 Perception(+8 Racial to Climb) Special Qualities- Flurry of Strikes Ecology- Environment- Forest, Urban (Warm) Languages- None Organization- Solitary, Family (2-4 Chiropterex, 6-8 Young Chiropterex) Treasure- None Special Abilities- Blindsight (Ex)- A chiropterex’s blindsight is echolocation-based; it cannot sense within areas of Silence or similar spells. Flurry of Strikes (Ex)- A chiropterex may, as a full-round action, give a flurry of stabbing strikes from its claws. It makes four Claw attacks at a -2 penalty each. 

[sleepingdayaway]

For The Dancing And The Dreaming

Guys idk how I’m doing this on mobile I usually post it on my laptop so idk if this will look good. Anyways it’s 4:30 in the morning and this is not edited. I wrote this spur of the moment bc I’m an idiot that doesn’t know how to write.

This is no specific Link! I wrote this bc I’m TRYING to write my own LOZ fic but got distracted. Either way I’m tired

You watch the roaring fire as it flickers in the night. The light from it shines around the area as you exhale softly. There is no point in camping outside anymore, but it's something that the both of you keep doing even after the adventure is over. 

It's the familiar feeling of having to take a quick rest before continuing to the next destination. The same feeling of having to rest with each other, having the world shut off, and being able to take a moment.

Footsteps approach your position before coming to a stop beside you, looking up and seeing the person who you; you’ve known your entire life. You're both older than when you first started the journey, for it caused you many physical challenges but still there are moments where you feel as though you’re back to before it all. 

Tonight is another night of thinking of the past; the bad and good, your accomplishments and your failures. They all still haunt you to this day even if your deeds were good. 

The weight of being back to nothing more than those kids again; the kids who had their own small bubble without knowing more than the whole world. Their only concern is if they'll be caught messing around again, or what new activity you'll try this time before getting bored and going back to the old ways.

A hand gently grasping onto yours pulls you out of your thoughts. Which makes you look up at him and witness the adoring smile he gives you. From the moment everything started he kept looking at you with the same emotion, but if you were to be honest, he held that look far before everything. Link, although not a very talkative person, is able to convey everything that he wants to say in different ways and still be able to express everything.

Watching him change from the boy you used to know to a hero who saved Hyrule; it made you happy to know that you were there the entire time. That he was able to rely on you and your own skills; and how you were able to also rely on him as well.

Never would either you believe that this was your destiny, but you're glad that you both had each other.

And now here you are in each other's presence with the fire in front of you. 

"I’m glad that we were in this together, Link." You said softly and curled your fingers around his hand. He hums in agreement and leaned into you; never taking his eyes off you. 

No one calls for either of you. There is nobody that needs to be saved anymore.

It's just the both of you once more. 

If you were to tell Link before this whole thing started that you'd be with him the entire time. He'd laugh but wouldn't deny it; he'd merely give a look with a shake of his head. Anything that he did, you would be right there and jump in with him. 

The both of you were practically inseparable; if he was there doing something then you would probably be somewhere nearby. For as long as Link knew you he could confidently say that he wouldn't trust anyone else than you.

Your unwavering presence motivated him to keep going. Your snarky remarks about the monsters. The way you freely expressed your fear, but still continued to fight. It made him feel a bit better about his own fears. You were his breath of fresh air whenever the journey took a huge toll on him. How you held him during the moments when he was able to take a break; and reassured him that he was only human that couldn’t shoulder everything. You shared his burden without a word and just held him in your arms.

Link liked you.

He always has if he's being honest, but it was during that moment where it fully clicked that he was fully unashamedly in love with you. Link wanted nothing more than to kiss you; to show his love and affection just for you.

Link decided at that moment that he will be there for you from that moment on. He may be Hyrule's Hero, The Golden Goddesses Chosen Hero, forever destined to pick up the Blade of Evil's Bane.

But for you he'll be anything for you.

He will be your hero until the next lifetime. Neither time nor death will separate him from you for he'll always find you no matter what. 

Suddenly he stood up and pulled you with him and held you close. Staring into your eyes with many emotions running through them. 

“[Name], I want you to know that I love you.” Link spoke softly as he kept holding you. You blink at him since it’s been awhile you’ve heard him call your name; relaxing in his hold you smile.

 “You’ve been through this whole thing with me even though I didn’t ask you to,” he continues, “So now, I want to be there for you with anything you need. I love you and I can’t see myself without you being near me.” He confesses.

He would do anything just to have you by his side, “I would bring you gems, jewelry; I will defend you from any creature that tries to hurt you, if you’ll have me-” Link chokes up a bit as he feels his emotions take a hold of him.

You reached out and held his face in your hands, and brought him closer to you. “I don’t have any use for gems nor jewelry. I don’t care if you can protect me or not, I will gladly stay by you.”

Laughing gently at your words, Link places his head onto yours as you run your fingers through his hair. “My dear, I could never be cruel to deny you nor my love. As long as I’m beside you; I am satisfied.” You continued before closing your eyes and leaning onto him.

The world may never call for Link anymore, but that’s fine with him. As long as he has you he’ll forever be hopelessly in love.

[mercsandmonsters-archived]

The power is out at my house. There was a really strong thunderstorm. My mom was talking about that escaped convict that got loose from the Chester County Prison (Yes, I live in Chester County, Pennsylvania, but I'm at the southern end of that specific county). She said that the storm might drive him out of the woods. We shall see.

[mercsandmonsters-archived]

I love it when they Thin Mints to it. That's when mint ice cream is at its peak.

[mercsandmonsters]

HAPPY LEIF ERIKSON DAY! HINGA DINGA DURGEN!