#calling all Wandas

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Agatha Harkness + text posts pt. 2/?

[atimefordragons]

#Mama'sBoy THE SCARLET WITCH | WICCAN

"See, I'm the child of a witch and an android. I'm their wish come true. Bigger than magic, living information, retro-reincarnated in human form." - Billy Kaplan, New Avengers Vol 4.

[batcavescolony]

I see a lot of people upset about William Kaplan being dead and no one mourning him cus Billy stole his body and I just don't see it that way. The kid in Wanda Vision is Billy Maximoff, The teenager at the Bar Mitzvah is William Kaplan, the Teen that got taken to the hospital after the wreck is neither and both Billy Maximoff and William Kaplan. That Teen went home with the abilities of Billy Maximoff, to the home of William Kaplan, with memories of neither and lived there for three years. He cares about Rebecca and Jeff, he lied to the to protect them from pain, they are his parents. He wants to find Tommy, he has magical powers, he wants to know who he is. All of these things are true. I wouldn't say William Kaplan is dead he just doesn't remember, like Agatha wasn't dead when he was Agnes, she just didn't remember.

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…

Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Alice: Hold the fuck up.

Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.

Rio: I have an idea!

Jen: No murder.

Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.

Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…

Agatha: What do you mean?

Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Agatha: No.

Jen: That actually explains so much.

Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.

Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?

Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.

*later*

Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?

Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.

*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*

Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!

Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!

Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:

Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?

Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?

Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.

Rio: :)

Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.

Agatha: Here, I’ll try.

Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-

Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.

Agatha: The ends always justify the means!

Jen: Do you know who said that?

Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?

Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.

Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!

Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!

Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?

Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

Lilia: I am at a loss for words!

Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:

Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*

Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.

Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!

Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.

Alice: There are two types of people.

Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)

Lilia: …three. Three types of people.

Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.

Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?

Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.

Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.

Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.

Alice: Do you trust me?

Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.

Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!

Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?

Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.

Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.

Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!

Teen: She WHAT?

Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!

Agatha: SEE?!

BONUS:

Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?

Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.

[lovecanbesostrange]

This is a shitpost for the lols, don't come at me. If you get it, you get it. Not pictured Charles Xavier and Cain Marco vs Cassandra Nova, because while other people had fun with Juggernaut on Krakoa, Charles wouldn't even sit with him, that jerk. :/

[yesokayiknow]

thinking about how when evanora says she should've killed her at birth agatha looks hurt and embarrassed but not particularly surprised & how when agatha says 'i can be good' it sounds as if it's something she's said many many times before and even though it's been centuries she says it on reflex. & how it took agatha so long to come to terms with the fact that wanda really was using all that reality bending magic just to make her sons happy and safe

[clowningcrows]

hot take i guess but when i watch the scene with billy and agatha where she finds out for sure he’s billy maximoff and starts tearing up, i perceive it as being bc she’s still a bit (read: significantly) heartbroken that he isn’t nicky. he isn’t hers. sure, she might’ve known from the beginning to some degree that he was wanda’s, but she doesn’t know for sure. we see that every time she panics because he’s hurt. we see that in the way she refused to leave his side when he was asleep. we see that when rio herself has to shake agatha out of it, saying, “agatha… that boy isn’t yours.” like YES logically i think she knew he wasn’t nicky, that he couldn’t be but we CAN see how painfully, hopelessly desperate agatha is to think that maybe he could be. so in my mind, she sees billy maximoff standing in front of her, finally being met with indisputable proof that he could not possibly be her lost son. how could she not tear up at that?

[lost-on-t-umblr]

okay but do we think Rio was jealous of the tears Agatha was crying for Wanda,,,,, (trapped under a spell as her mind may have been)

[lesbiansforangusmcdonald]

Fig, this episode: “I don’t think I wanna be a bard anymore.”

Me, already planning out the set list for the junior year tour in my head: WHAT?!?

[thestarlightforge]

Guys.

What if Lilia’s 🖤 isn’t just Billy and/or Rio. I’ve seen so many theories on the importance of 7’s and Triads… What if it’s actually—

Fire- Alice

Water- Jen

Air- Lilia

Spirit- Agatha

But for the anonymous Earth/🖤-

Maiden-

Crone-

and MOTHER.

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 756

Agatha: *gardening in the backyard* “My irises are about to start blooming!”

Y/N: “They’re looking great, you’ve really been on-top of weeding this spring!”

Agatha: “Not to point fingers, but I’ve always been a talented gardener. In Westview, my garden looked better than the toaster ever made his…”

Wanda: *sprays her with the hose*

Agatha: “AHHH WHY!?”

Wanda: “Don’t call him a toaster”

Agatha: “Why? The microwave is gone!”

Wanda: “BAD AGATHA” *sprays again*

Agatha: “I’M NOT A CAT”

[musclesandhammering]

Still waiting on someone to explain why Wanda is “The Harbinger of Chaos”, the “Chaos Queen”, and her magic is called “Chaos Magic” when she literally has nothing to do with chaos. Like.. nothing. No symbolism, no philosophical connection, no plotline. Literally nothing lmao. Could’ve just called her the queen of sunsets or some shit, it would’ve made as much sense 😒.

[chronicsydspams]

I disagree with most people about the Agatha All Along finale and Loved the fact that the road was all in Billy's head, that the road was never real and that Agatha used the "I'm the only survivor of the Witches Road" schtick to trick Witches into stealing their magic, because she was just as surprised when a road Actually showed up. But Billy was so desperate in finding Tommy that he did Exactly what Wanda did, he made the road in his head, and others suffered because of his actions. Much like how Wanda was so desperate in her grief of Vision that she created the Hex, and others suffered as a result. "You're so much like your mother" as Agatha says...

Are there some questions that I have post finale? Sure, like how did Agatha get actually get her hands on the Darkhold? Was her plans in using the Darkhold to try and get Nicolas back? Will Agatha try to put things right with Nicolas in the afterlife or will she forever try to avoid him? and probably more that I can't think of at the moment.

It also seems that no one knows what a "cliffhanger" is anymore, because there really seems to be the possibility of another season and With that the show would leave the audience With questions that they would answer at another time, When they have more story to tell, not everything has to be answered all at once.

Also, WHY do fans need shit Spoon-fed to them?! "How was Agatha pregnant with Nicolas?" she had SEX! "He was made from scratch" meaning the Traditional way of having a kid, she and some rando off screed got it on and she got pregnant, she can't create reality out of nothing like Wanda can, this is pretty straight forward thinking people! Also Nicolas was Supposed to die at birth, he was supposed to be a stillborn but Agatha begged with Rio for more time, which Rio granted her, and was there when his time was up.

I was Never expecting Wanda to come back, Especially after the show told us that Billy's purpose of "The Road" was to find Tommy and Not Wanda. And I think a good chunk of these fans are just salty Wanda stans that are mad she didn't come back.

People were also pissy about Billy having focus despite us being LITERALLY TOLD this is Just as much Billy's story as it is Agatha's. "I wanted more Salem!" why? Wandavision already showed us what we needed to know, that her mother and the rest of the coven tried to kill her because she steals magic, that's all we needed to know. Just say you wanted Agatha and Rio to bang and be off already like damn...

I honestly can't Wait to see what the future holds for Wiccan and what projects they have in store for him, especially if they're going to be paralleling the comics like this.

[batcavescolony]

Why do people keep saying they want Agatha to adopt Billy or that Billy is a motherless child or that Agatha is Billy's new mom.... Y'all he says Rebecca is his mom, canonically in the show. Agatha isn't his mom.

[wandavisionedits]

—Elizabeth Olsen attends the 2023 Vanity Fair Oscars Party

[spockvarietyhour]