#call the midwife unite

[ilovemushystuff]

Olly Courtney, CTM Unit Photographer 2024

[skipper1331]

Hear me out maybe you are pregnant and when it’s time to give birth alessia is there for everything and it’s just super sweet

Pregnant // Alessia Russo

Being pregnant was exhausting. The belly was always in the way, you craved weird food combos and often had mood swings but still you loved being pregnant. You loved that there was a tiny human in you and that you and Alessia would soon be mommies.

Since Alessia knew that you were pregnant she treated you even more like a princess.

If you woke up late at night, craving bacon with honey she would make it. If you craved Ice cream and mc donalds fries she would buy them. She did anything for you, even If that meant that she needed to drive to Mc Donalds at 3am. It didn‘t matter; what her wife wanted her wife got.

On free days, Alessia would lay in bed with you, her hands always on your tummy. Knowing that you were pregnant made her the happiest woman alive. "Hi, here‘s your mama. I love you very very much" she would whisper against your baby bump. And when you were asleep she would admire you, scratch your belly and ask herself how she got so lucky to call you her wife and the mother of her child.

When you found out that you were pregnant you were so nervous. You didn‘t know how Alessia would react but her reaction was pure joy. That night she kissed, loved and cherished you.

Now 9 months into pregnancy there was the chance that it could happen any day. The italian knew that and because of that each day which she had to leave for training was hard. She was afraid that she wouldn‘t be there on time when you gave birth. She wouldn‘t forgive herself. As well she didn’t want to leave you alone. The thought that something could happen was freaking her out. So you found a solution that worked for you. Due not being able to have her phone in training you had the phone number of one of the staff members who was always with the team. So If something was wrong he immediately could tell your wife. And during breaks she had permission to call you to check on you. The whole united team agreed to this because firstly, they would want the same thing if they were in Alessias position and secondly, they know that the striker is better when she knows you’re fine.

May 25

Alessia was as usual at training while you were at home with her mom. The italian had asked her mom to visit you every now and then if she wasn‘t at home, just to be sure. And when you went to grab a glas of water for you both, you felt it. Your water broke. "Carol" you shouted with your arms resting on the kitchen counter.

The baby was about to come.

As soon as you sat in the car you gave Carol your phone to call the staff member. You weren‘t in the state of mind to do that. While you were panicking, Carol was the calm itself.

Alessia already felt that something was off and when the staff called her name she knew. "your mother just called-" he couldn‘t even finish his sentence as the blonde ran off. The only thing in her mind: you. She ran in the changing room to grab her keys, she didn‘t bother to change out of her gear. There was no time for it anyways. Not even 15 minutes later she stormed into the hospital. "Y/n Russo! My wife! She‘s pregnant" she was out of breath.

"Amore" she sighed in relief as she saw you. With two quick steps she was next to you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

-

Your hand squeezed Alessias so hard, her free hand wiping away the sweaty strand of hair off your face "You’re doing great" she whispered. Alessia didn‘t know what to do. She was nervous and excited yet she hated to see you in pain. Your body was in so much pain and while the midwife told you what to do, every so often you looked at your wife. She calmed you, she eased your pain.

Everything was a blur, you remember that the midwife directed you, the pain that left your body by the last push and Alessia holding your face. "You did it!" a loving kiss was pressed to your forehead.

"Here‘s your son" the midwife laid him on your chest. You were in awe as well as your wife. "He looks beautiful" the italian said while you thought the exact same thing. Tears were streaming down your face "we‘re mommies" you cried. "Yeah" a teary Alessia answered. She felt so much pride. Her fingers stroked his little nose which scrunched up as a reaction. It was the cutest thing ever.

At home she made you breakfast, lunch and dinner. While you fed your baby boy. At nights when he cried Alessia was the first to stand up to go to him. Most of the time she pushed you back in bed, telling you it was her turn and that you should rest. The first few days after giving birth you were grateful to go back to sleep but after a few days, now back with new strength, Alessia and you did it together.

One night you figured out a quick way to put him back to sleep (singing lullabies and stroking his nose).

It was a precious moment. It was around 3am when you heard the baby cry. You took him out of his crib and his crying stopped immediately. His blue eyes (which he definitely had from his mama) looked at you. Alessia came up from behind, hugged you and started to sing an italian lullaby. Your baby boy yawned, his eyes grew sleepy and when your finger stroked his tiny nose he fell asleep.

You use it every time you want him to fall (back) asleep.

You laid in Lessi‘s arms, holding your sleeping son "I love you both much" was whispered as she rested her head on top of yours.

A picture perfect family.

—————————

[mercurygray]

So I Hear You Liked...World War Two Dramas

What's that? You said you wanted a World War Two series where women actually speak to each other? Have I got a deal for you!

When Band of Brothers first came out, I did not have cable, but what I did have was a card at a library that owned seemingly every PBS drama ever broadcast. I know and love a lot of these shows, and I hope you do, too.

As we wait for Masters of the Air to join us, maybe you can fill some time with one of these!

Classic: These shows were made in the 70s and 80s and while the production values are not the same as something made more recently, they're all fun to watch.

Danger UXB - daily life in a bomb disposal unit.

Dad's Army - comedy show about the Home Guard.

Hogan's Heroes - situational comedy about life in a POW camp.

Piece of Cake - follows British pilots stationed in France as the Phony War begins.

Homefront Perspectives:

✨Housewife, 49 - Based on the wartime diary of Nella Last, who participated in the Mass Observation project. One of my favorites.

✨Foyle’s War - procedural crime drama following DCS Foyle and hsi team as he solves murders in wartime Britain. Another favorite.

Island at War - Wartime life on the Channel Islands during the German occupation

Land Girls - Follows the lives of a group of Land Girls working on an estate farm.

Bomb Girls - Follows the lives of a group of workers in a Toronto munitions factory.

Home Fires - Life in a small British town near an air base. Based on a book.

World On Fire - Follows the disparate lives of several people in several countries as the war begins.

✨All Creatures Great and Small - The life of Yorkshire Vet James Herriot, based on the book series of the same title. A favorite, both the 1970s original and the 2020 version.

A French Village - Daily life in a French village is upended as the Germans invade. Follows the same village through the entire war.

My Mother and Other Strangers - An Irish village deals with the introduction of an American Air Force base.

Colditz - life in one of the war's most infamous POW camps. Features Damian Lewis!!

Atlantic Crossing - the life of Crown Princess Marta of Norway as she tries to advocate for her country while living in the United States.

The Halycon - Life in a posh London hotel during the 1940s

Spies and Science:

X Company - Canadian drama about life overseas for spies

Resistance - French wartime drama about a woman in the French underground movement

Restless - Postwar drama about a woman who spied for the Russians in England during the war.

✨Manhattan - If you liked Oppenheimer, have I got a show for you!! Follows the lives of several scientists and their families as they move to Los Alamos. A favorite.

✨The Heavy Water War - Norwegian/British operations Grouse and Gunnerside to destroy German heavy water plant. A favorite.

The Twelfth Man - Norwegian sabotage operation gets shot down in occupied Norway.

✨Generation War - German experience of war from variety of perspectives. This show is excellent. Everyone should watch this.

✨SAS: Rogue Heroes - Follows the foundation of a parachute regiment in North Africa that would eventually become the basis for Britain's commando units. A favorite.

Postwar:

A Place to Call Home - very soapy Australian post-war drama about an upperclass family.

Our Wonder Years - Follows three sisters in post-war Germany as they attempt to confront the past.

Tannbach - Follows a family whose German town is split in two along the new East-West border.

The Defeated - Crime drama following a policeman trying to find his brother in post-war Berlin

Small Island- a Jamaican woman moves to London after the war and tries to adjust to a country that doesn't want her there

Call the Midwife - Social drama in the 1960s addressing the health and lives of the post-war poor of London.

[hsslilly-blog]

hello yes i am back with another ask.

do you have any ideas about how claire’s mother was raised? i assume something would’ve had to normalized being a terrible human being

Hi, yes, I do! Sorry for taking long to reply, I wanted to write this properly. This ended up a bit long, I think.

Before writing anything, I feel like I should preface with: I don't want to villainize Claire's parents (esp. her mother) to the point of them being cartoonishly evil because 1. that's not how humans work; and 2. it's boring, from a writing standpoint. I'm interested in exploring them as people + their relationship with Claire. A child doesn't attach to a parent (or any figure) just by them being, well, bad. This is true of Blair's mother, too.

Christine Murray, Claire's mother, was born in June 15th, 1966. Her parents, Ava (née Ballantine) and Blair Murray, had immigrated from Scotland to the United States a couple of years prior and had settled around the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles County; which Christine would call home for most of her life. The SFV saw a postwar boom, with a huge population increase + job offers; lots of empty acres for people to build homes, too. I mention this for contextualisation: the Murrays (in Scotland) had been a working class family for many years and in the U.S. Christine's father worked himself to death for better opportunities for his wife + daughter.

Christine had an okay relationship with both her parents, if only distant. They were not in bad terms and she would say her mother was a caring woman and her father was a hardworking man; they just weren't close, and they worked all the time. They were very stuck in their ways, and were rather strict. Her mom was a midwife, her father landed a job as an insurance agent.

From a very early age, Christine developed an interest in the arts, especially acting + dancing. She was particularly drawn to Shakespeare (she fell in love with Orson Welles' Macbeth) and she would take part in her school's low-budget productions of whatever play they were putting on during that season. Her father would give her some spare money sometimes, and she used it to watch whichever film was screening in Panorama City. She was very... free. Her parents let her roam around unsupervised a lot. Not good for a 16 year old girl.

Growing up in the 70s and then the 80s, I think she watched some pretty good films. Her biggest dream was to be in the silver screen. The Red Shoes and The Way We Were were some of her favourite movies back then. I think she still likes Cabaret (which is a love she shared with Claire). Paris, Texas, too.

Christine also liked rollerblading and magazine collecting (like, teen magazines; she would trade them with her friends and cut out her favourite parts/pictures/articles and glue them to her bedroom wall and/or store it in a folder). She loooved the Carpenters. She loved thrifting clothes too.

Christine's passions were not supported by her parents, though. I don't think they did it out of malice, they just didn't "get" why their daughter was so interested in acting and movies instead of "planning her future". For them, Christine should get a good job and make her own money and be financially independent. What was she going to do when they were gone? There is no time for art. So, Christine didn't get the chance to pursue her acting career seriously and by senior year of high school she had given up on the idea. Her father dies three months after her 18th birthday. She settles with being a nurse. She gets an associate's degree.

She meets Claire's father, Werner Swanson Jr., by the end of 1987. She was a nurse in his office (he was/is a psychiatrist), so she worked under him. They get married in 1988. They were 13 years apart, not to mention the huge class + academic disparity between them. Claire is born in February 14th, 1990, when Christine is 23. She had to adapt to a new life, very quickly, while very young.

I think this is a good picture of Claire's mother. I don't want to dissect every bit because I think when put in context it all makes a lot of sense. Her unhealthy work/performance mindset, the weird relationship to food, detachment to/insufficiency with Claire, etc. When Claire shows an interest in acting, Christine decides she Must support her (whose?) dreams. She didn't get that chance, so Claire should get. But, well, life is more complicated than that. And baby Claire is, like, a person, too.

That's it... this is very long. But if you have any follow-up questions I'm happy to answer!!!

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Matt sturniolo Little bean - first scan

Part 2 of the series

Word count -1.5k

Warnings - swearing, mentions of hospitals,fluff Matt ,crying,use of y/n ,3 months pregnant, not proof read that's all I think

Summary -Basically reader and Matt go for their baby's first scan and just a whole lot of fluff

Please like , comment and follow guys .I try and make sure I follow everyone back .

I stand at the kitchen sink watching the fresh morning sky through the window as I gusle down my second pint of cold water , hearing that it helps make the baby show easier on the sonogram.I look down to my stomach with a tiny bump forming .I remember the first time I noticed it and thinking that I was massive already but I just know that by the end of this pregnancy I'll be about 10 times the size but I can't wait .

I hear Matt's and I bedroom door open and close as I hear the quite sound of Matt's bare feet touching the laminate floor as he makes his way to the kitchen ." I wondered where you was missy" he exclaims and I smile at my nickname from him ,he leans into kiss me as he grabs a cup so he can make some coffee for himself ."I couldn't sleep any longer I'm just too excited" I respond."do you want a decaf coffee?" Matt asks me with a smile at my last sentence,"nah I'm good thanks babe , I'll stick to the water" I say to him pointing at my now empty glass ."but you hate water" He says to me with a confused look on his face "i know but i heard somewhere the more water you drink the clearer the baby is supposed to show up" i explain to matt as he nods his head still focusing on making his coffee.

*1 hour later*

"Remember to get that photo guys ... I wanna see a picture of my niece" I hear Chris shouting as I walk down the stairs following Matt ."we will do and it might not be a girl we won't find out yet tho" I hear Matt answering his younger brother .We hear a quick mutter of okay from Chris as we shut the door to the garage and make way to the car.I get in the passenger seat strapping the seat belt over my tiny bump .As matt straps himself in and starts reversing out onto the road .

As we start to park up at the hospital I begin to feel nervous , and I suddenly go quiet."you okay peach?" Matt asks me breaking the sudden silence."yeah just abit nervous now" I say honestly as we lock the car and make our way to the hospital."it'll be fine the baby will be fine " he says reassuring me as he holds my hand .We enter the hospital and after getting lost we finally make our way to the maternity unit .

We sit waiting in the waiting room with my hand still linked with Matt's as his thumb rubs comforting circles on the back of my hand.As I look around I noticed that Matt and I are by far the youngest parents to be and there is a older lady with her much further gone bump as she looks down to it so lovingly.I can't wait for that to be me .I'm taken out of my day dream state by a midwife calling my name "miss y/l/n ?" I stand up with Matt ."yes that's us" I respond walking over to her with a smile on my face and Matt following .

As we enter the little room with a small bed , a chair and a little machine with a screen on it .I suddenly feel like I have no idea what I'm doing ."so how do you preferred to be addressed?" The nurse asked me as she walks towards the machine ,"y/n" is just fine I say with a small smile ."please take a seat on the bed if you could lower your leggings just below your bump , and you're dad I'm assuming?" The nurse says the last part to Matt ."yeah I'm dad" he responds shyly ,"please take a seat" she says to matt in which he takes her up on this offer.

"now y/n I understand this is your first baby" the nurse asks as she starts preparing her equipment."yes it's first baby for both of us " I say nodding to Matt as I say that last part of my sentence."right I'm just going to put this jelly on your stomach so I can see baby it will be a little cold " the nurse says to me with a smile.'little cold' would be the biggest understatement I've ever heard as soon as the nurse put the jelly on my my abdomen is freezing, the nurse must notice the quick jump I make as she mutters a quick sorry .

She moves her wand looking thing over my stomach as she spreads the cold jelly across of it .She stares at the screen so insensitive as she makes notes while pressing buttons .After minutes of agonizing silence she moves the screen towards Matt and I ."so there's your baby" she says with a smile as she presses a button and a strong heartbeat fills the room .I can't take my eyes off the screen as I look at it in absolute awe ."hi baby" I whisper to the screen quietly.

"are you okay dad?" I hear the nurse as my gaze is turned from our little blob onto the screen to Matt ."yeah just alot isn't it" I hear Matt's response as he wipes his eyes " I just can't believe I'm going to be a dad" as his eyes water up again .The nurse nods her head understandingly "makes it all seem real now doesn't it" the nurse says to us both in which we respond with a chorus of "yeah's" ."so baby is measuring up perfectly for it's age and you're 13 weeks and 3 days .I understand that you would like some photos printed" the nurse says ."yes please, 4 if you can" I say to her ."that's fine I'll just get that sorted and get you booked in for your next scan that will be in 7 weeks and we'll also be able to see baby's gender by then aswell unless you chose for a private scan then you would find out earlier" The nurse says as she leaves the room to get out scan photos printed .

I turn my attention to Matt "are babe are you alright" I ask him as I reach my hand for him , he takes me hand "yeah just really happy" I wipe the jelly off my stomach and raise my trousers up over my bump .While I swing my legs around to sit on the bed facing Matt .The nurse come back into the room handing us out pictures of our baby ."right so thats you booked in for 7 weeks and congratulations" the nurse says as we leave the room .

*drive home*

"isn't it just the cutest blob " Matt says to me as he waits for me to walk to the door while he looks again at the scan photos in admiration."it really is " I say once I reach him , I lean in to give him a quick kiss as he opens the house door ."guys come down here we've got pictures of bean " Matt shouts up the stairs to his two brothers as we hear 2 sets of footsteps getting closer to the entrance "bean?" I say to Matt giving him a questionable look."yeah our little bean" he responds with a massive smile on his face .

[violetdawn001]

Editing my Dreamers' Houses essay and my goodness, it made me realize how much fight is still left in the Dreamers.

Herrah is all spent, only thinking about her daughter. Unfortunately, there isn't anyone else except Midwife in the Distant Village.

Why?

All the Weavers decided that being Infected, losing your mind while your body attacks anything that moves, was worse than literal slavery. Only those most devoted to Herrah remained...and all of them got infected.

Monomon has no fight...except to argue with Lurien. But have you considered that she has nothing left to fight for?

There is literally NO ONE in her Archives except her infected Uummu, Uomas, and Oomas. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER STUDENTS IS DEAD BEFORE THE GAME EVEN STARTED. Except Quirrel. Quirrel whom she calls back to finally rest.

Lurien has the most fight...and yes, the Spire doesn't have a single known person still themselves in the Infection. But what about Lurien's whole City?

Yes, yes, the noble side is completely Infected and the Soul Master kidnapped and drained more than half of the citizens belonging to the left side of the City, BUT there are still free people!

The Nailsmith! Eternal Emilitia! Even Lemm, a newcomer to his City! And goodness, the Collector! And grubbies. Can't forget the grubs.

If you go down a bit further, then there's Orgrim, Tuk, and the Fluke Hermit!

Lurien still has people! People with Names! Hopes! And Dreams free from the Radiance!

And if you expand Lurien's care from the City to Hallownest (which isn't a stretch considering how Lurien is so patriotic for his kingdom) then every free bug in Hallownest is his too.

Now here's a question, does Lurien still care about his butler who is Infected? About every single of his servants and friends under the Radiance's spell? If so, what about every captured citizen of Hallownest?

If so, then Lurien is fighting for them too, just like we do for Myla. Fighting and Hoping against Hope itself that they all can be saved one day.

This came as no surprise to me. What knocked me out was realizing that Monomon's efforts were for nothing. Becoming a Dreamer for her students and keep Hallownest united only for everyone to die anyway??? No wonder she was done.

[catofthecanals289]

all the lights

a maxiel drabble for my beloved @lilyrizzy Happy Birthday, the world is suhc a wonderful place simply for having you in it. I love you so much. (contains medical stuff and mpreg [sort of, it’s complicated])

The answer is no. It was ’no’ twenty minutes ago and it’s still a no now.

Daniel doesn’t want to leave. He is not going to leave, that’s what he told them when they asked for the first time, the second time, but the third –

“Sir,” the nurse or midwife or doctor, Daniel doesn’t know, doesn’t care says, having sat down on the chair next to him. “Surgery will take a bit longer still, you are not missing anything by going up to the unit. But you are missing something by stay here. Please, consider.”

What’s there to consider? Daniel doesn’t ask.

He presses his lips together, tilts his face away, fixing his eyes on a spot on the floor. His leg keeps bouncing, his hands clam and sweaty, grasping each other. His heart hasn’t stopped hammering against his ribs for hours. Not since he woke up to Max’s panicked voice, finding blood between his legs.

Days have passed since that moment, but according to the clock, it’s not even been two hours.

“Sir,” the woman says again, brows drawn together when Daniel glances at her.

“Max’s here. So I’m here,” he says tightly, voice feeling rough, unused.

Has he spoken since they took Max from him? Since they wheeled him into the operating room? Since he called Max’s name, desperate, and Max turned his head, skin pale, eyes wide. He’d opened his mouth but the door had shut before he could.

“And your daughters are upstairs,” the woman pushes.

Daniel –grimacing, eyes squeezed shut- nods. “Yeah, well.”

“They need you.”

“Right.”

He shakes his head, lips pinched together.

“They do.”

“For what?” he looks at her again and he can tell she’s taken aback by his cutting tone, but-

She puts her hand on his shoulder, a small, cautious smile on her lips, eyes almost pleading. “You’re their dad. They need you.”

“I’m- Right, yeah. No. I-” He shakes his head again, leg bouncing, heart racing. He can’t fucking look at her. She must think he’s a terrible person and maybe he is. Maybe he’s been a terrible person throughout this entire pregnancy but- “I need to be here. I need – Max.”

He gestures in the direction of the operating room.

They weren’t ready. This wasn’t supposed to happen. So soon. And not like this.

32 weeks, that was the goal. 32 weeks so the babies would be big enough to not- So they’d be stronger. Their lungs, and- And so much. Daniel listened to the doctors, he swears he’d listened, but- They have a calendar at home at the fridge and just the day before yesterday Daniel crossed off the 28 week mark. They only just-

Max had watched from the bed, directing Daniel, handing him the marker, hand on his bump and he’d told Daniel, when Daniel had counted the weeks that were left and only gotten paler, that everything would be okay. That he was excited to meet them. Their girls. And wasn’t Daniel?

But Daniel is a terrible fucking person and all he wanted, all he wants now, is for Max to be okay.

“We can make a new one,” he’d told Max when they first found out, terrified and confused beyond anything. “We just- Max. Max, c’mon. Please.”

He’d wanted an abortion. They’d told them it was safest. That Max- Max’s body wasn’t made for this. He had the parts, yes and none of them fucking knew until- But his body wasn’t fucking meant to do this. It was dangerous. He could die. None of the do doctors, none, none of the experts and specialist-

But Max had wanted to try, hadn’t wanted to make a new baby through surrogacy, or have one by adoption. He’d wanted this. Their miracle baby, growing inside his body against all odds and logic. And Daniel had nodded and said “okay,” and there were moments where he’d thought he could do this, could be a dad. But he was wrong. He was so fucking wrong. He can’t do any of this. There is still blood on his hands and if Max dies-

“Wouldn’t Max want you to at least go see them?” the woman asks voice even gentler now, and fuck, Daniel has to wipe at his eyes again. “When he gets out of surgery, he’ll want to hear how they are doing.”

“You can tell him,” Daniel croaks, tasting salt on his lips.

He doesn’t know shit anyway. Even if he went to see the girls, he- What does he know? Jack shit. He doesn’t- They don’t even have names yet. They couldn’t decide and now-

“He’ll want to hear it from you,” she insists, and she’s right, but-

“He might fucking die,” he says, trying and failing to smile. “He might not ever hear anything I tell him ever fucking again, so-”

“So all the more reason to,” she cuts him off. “Sir, there really is nothing you can do here right now. But you can do this.”

 He can’t. He really, really can’t. Every step he takes makes him feel more sick. He’s lead through a corridor. A door, another door, another corridor. There are signs and numbers and he can’t read any of them, can’t look at the pictures on the walls a t the people they pass, not that there are many. It’s still- The sun hasn’t even risen yet, it’s not-

“Congratulations, c’mon in,” a woman, smaller than the one before says, kind smile on her lips, paired with her words it feels almost mocking though.

He stares at her and right, they are in front of a door, two names written on colorful cards.

Verstappen 1, Verstappen 2.

“What-” he says, gesturing to the cards.

“Oh, because there weren’t names yet. Or have you picked?” the woman says.

Her name tag ready Hailey, Daniel can’t remember if she told him or when he’s been handed over to her, his head is still spinning and he’s pretty sure he might throw up.

“We- No. We hadn’t- We thought we still had time, I-“

“That’s okay, don’t worry,” she says, offering another smile. “Lots of parents haven’t decided on names yet when it’s baby time. Even if it’s full term pregnancies. Just tell us when you know, yes? Now.” Her smile widens a little. “Would you like to meet your daughters?”

“Just- I need to go back downstairs?” he says, turning to look where- but he doesn’t know. Which direction was he- How is he going to get back? He doesn’t-

There’s the nurses’ station right there, eyes on him, whispers.

“Well, how about we just go in and I introduce you, yeah?” Hailey says, unperturbed. “Now, I need you to take off all jewellery on your arms and hands. Watches, bracelets, rings – that includes wedding rings. Then please wash your hands very thoroughly at the sink and then when your hands are dry disinfect them. This is very important you need to do that every time you come here. No exceptions. We also need to talk quietly. No loud noises in this room please.”

He nods.

She opens the door.

“So, the girls are doing well,” Hailey says, as they walk up to the first of the – the incubators. The lights are dim in the room, but there’s still some sort of blanket over it, but she removes it and then- “This is number 1. She and her sister both need some help breathing still, which is to be expected at 28 weeks. They are also very small for their gestational age, which we assume is due to the conditions, which- Well.”

She smiles, a little awkward now.

The conditions. She means Max’s womb. Max’s hormonal situation. The way the placenta attached, how it couldn’t- Max wasn’t made for this. Or not- Only sort of. Just- It wasn’t ideal. Not for Max or the babies. Just a fucking fuck up from nature and now Daniel is a father and so is Max but Max might die and there is a tiny little creature lying in a plastic box in front of him, stuff strapped to its little face, frail, twig like limbs tucked in close to its body, chest rising and falling so quickly, wires everywhere and-

“So she’s got 725 grams, and her sister is at 680 grams, which-”

“I don’t know what that means, I don’t-” He shakes his head, throat tight, stomach twisting.  

She’s- His- Their girl. She’s- She’s so fucking small, he doesn’t-

“Oh, 25.57 ounces,” Hailey explains. “That’s her. And our little lady over there, she’s got 23.98.”

“That’s-”Again he shakes his head, having to turn around. “That’s too small. That’s not- No. That’s-”

“That is very small, yes,” Hailey allows. “But, sir. Right now they are doing well and we are monitoring them. “They get some help breathing, but thanks to the RDS prophylaxis your- The mo- Your partner received their lungs are doing pretty well. The girls are both breathing on their own. They received surfactant already. No brain bleeds so far, and-”

“Okay, yeah, I- I gotta go back downstairs,” Daniel cuts in. “I’ve got to- Max- My partner, he is still in surgery, so.”

“Oh.” She blinks. “Oh, sure, yes, but, if you- Well, it would be so incredibly beneficial for your babies to get skin to skin contact? It’s- We call it kangaroo care and-”

Daniel laughs, he can’t help it. It’s a shrill, crazy little sound  and before Hailey can say anything there’s a cry.

A tiny, barely there, barely audible cry, coming from behind Daniel. Coming from  - her.

She-

Daniel turns around and there she is, her little miniature face twisted into a grimace, little mouth quivering and the sound she makes- IT shatters his heart-

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, love,” he whispers quickly, desperately, hands flying, helpless in front of the plastic wall. “I’m- Shit. What-  Just- Because I’m Australian, I was-”

He looks at Hailey, terrified. She needs to do something, she needs- His little girl is crying. She’s crying and she’s just so small.

“It’s okay, you just startled her,” Hailey says softly. “The loud noise. It’s okay. We’ll just- You know she is still adapting. She’s not- We always say they need a little bit, to truly arrive, you know? To the world? Everything is so much for them. The noise, the light, everything. So we try our best to shield them, but positive stimulation is just as important as shielding them from negative one. And part of that is skin to skin. It’s- She needs you, sir. They both do.”

She’s still crying. It’s a pitiful little sound, not like the baby cries Daniel remembers form Isaac or Izzy or Leo.

“But Max-”

“Labor and delivery will call us,” Hailey says. “They’ll inform us and we’ll inform you. I promise. Now, please. It’s really, really so important for your babies. ”

 She tells him to take off his shirt. She puts him in a chair that reminds Daniel of a sun lounger except he’s not getting a tan. His heart is beating out of his chest. He’s lying there shirtless and terrified and Hailey and another nurse who introduced herself as Abby hand him tubes and wires and then- then There’s first one baby on his chest and then another. Two tiny little creatures. They tell him to hold him. Put his hands on their backs as they sort out the wires and tubes and everything and his fucking- One of his finger is bigger and longer than each of their legs and their hands-

“Are they- Is this-” This can’t be right. This can’t be- They are too small for him to hold, to lie on his chest and be covered by towels. They fucking- There’s a heating lamp, they need- “Shouldn’t they go back in the boxes?”

„The incubators?“ Abby asks, frowning. “Oh, no, not his is best for them. Skin to skin. With mom. Or dad. It’s the best for them really. Helps them stabilize their temperature and heartrate, breathing, everything.”

“Yeah, but-”

Daniel feels so helpless, useless. He’s just- He’s nothing, no one. He just- They don’t even know him. They grew inside Max, they know him, his heartbeat, his voice, Daniel just-

“They know your voice too,” Hailey says, almost like she’s read his mind. “So you can talk to them quietly. Sooth them if they need it.”

But they don’t. They are both quiet now. Both just there where the nurses put them on Daniel’s chest, bellies down, heads tilted towards each other, little hands on Daniel’s skin, it’s- It might be the most surreal thing Daniel has ever experienced. Three hours ago it was just him and Max in bed together and now he’s alone in a hospital room with their daughters and Max-

“Can you call?” he asks, keeping his voice low, despite its tremble. “Down to- Ask how he’s doing? Max? He-”

“Of course.”

 Two hours pass before the door opens again and it’s not just Hailey or Abby, but both of them as well as two other people in scrubs and a bed. A bed with Max inside and a number of things attached. IV pumps and stuff, Daniel thinks, but he has no eyes for any of that. Just Max. Max who seems to barely be able to tilt his head, looking around, looking for-

“Max,” Daniel croaks and on his chest one of the babies splays her fingers, almost making him choke up again. “Maxy, hey. Hi. How-”

“I’m okay,” Max croaks, voice hoarse and barely there, probably because of the tube they had shoved down his throat for surgery.

“He lost a lot of blood,” someone Daniel doesn’t know says. “And we are admitting him to the ICU so this is just for ten minutes tops, I’m sorry, but-”

“Let’s just sort this,” Hailey cuts in, smile on her face.

There’s a flurry of motion then, pushing around of equipment, adjusting tubes, wires, everything and it seems like a whole lot of work but Daniel doesn’t care because by the end of it they have somehow managed to fit Max’s bed next to the chair Daniel is in, the tubes of baby 2 sort of half under Max’s pillow who looks even paler than before, exhausted and only half awake.

“Hi,” he says, and his hand-

“I can’t,” Daniel whispers. It kills him not to reach out, not to take Max’s hand, but. “I got-”

“Oh,” May blinks and then Abby leans over pulling back the towels a bit so Max can see the girls. “They are so little.”

“Yeah.” Daniel nods, but he manages half a smile, tears gathering in his eyes again. “They are. and they’d really like names, I think. And meet their papa.”

“Oh,” Max says again. “Hi, babies. It is your papa.”

[sirfrancisvarney]

So as the show is halfway through, and before episode four drops, I've tried to put together and organize all the information I've gathered so far.

In 2005 (18 years ago), Anders Lund found Tsalal station. Raymond Clark joins. The shots of the website don't show when everyone else joins, but some of them join within the next few years. The source of Tsalal's funding is hidden by several shell companies that link back to Tuttle United.

Seven years ago (or possibly earlier), in 2016, Annie Kowtok insists on joining her friend on her visit to Tsalal station, and immediately starts a relationship with Clark. This behavior is apparently unusual for her. Did she go to Tsalal specifically to meet Clark? Why keep it a secret? Also in 2016, Clark bought a trailer. It's assumed this was used to meet Annie K in secret.

Next year, sometime in spring 2017, Oliver Tagaq left Tsalal for reasons unknown. In April, Annie is killed. She records herself, clearly frightened and afraid of getting caught, on her smartphone in what appears to be an ice cave, saying, "I found it. It's here. I found it, I found it. My name is Annie Kowtok. If anything happens to me please--" she's pulled away from the camera and she is heard screaming. The camera view at the end is on the skeleton of some marine animal encased in ice.

On April 18, Annie's body is found. She was stabbed 32 times with a star-shaped instrument, ribs and teeth broken. She was kicked after her death and her tongue was cut out. Four days later, on April 22, Clark gets a spiral tattoo that match's Annie's. I don't know how long it takes to arrange getting a tattoo, so I don't know if he already had plans to get it, or if he got it because of Annie's murder.

Time passes. At some point, Clark turns the trailer into a shrine of some sort for Annie. The mannequin in the bed is wearing her cardigan, and there are baby dolls and children's toys placed around it, possibly a reference to her role as a midwife.

Clark covers his research notes with writing, including repeated phrases and words such as "her eyes her face," "I can hear her coming/moving outside," "cold," "dark," and "her fingers." It's unknown when this behavior started.

Fast forward to the end of 2023. A few weeks before the show starts, Clark's behavior becomes noticeably stranger. At some point before December 17, he obtains Annie's smartphone, which appears to have video of her last moments, and he is assumed to have acquired her tongue. He could have gotten these at the time of Annie's death, or at any point since. If he didn't take Annie's tongue himself, maybe getting them caused his mental instability to get worse?

On December 17, the last sunset of the year, a hunter watches as a herd of caribou get spooked from an unknown stimulus, and flee. It's unknown if this is connected to the events of the series, or merely meant to be symbolic. On the same day, the water in the villages goes bad, for reasons unknown. The mine is blamed. Also on December 17, the scientists at Tsalal are living their lives, relaxing in the evening, doing chores. Anders Lund is going over old data on a whiteboard (no spiral is visible on his forehead). Molina is filming himself making a sandwich, when he sees Clark, shaking or shivering. Part of Clark's hair is dyed blue, and where his hair touched the parka, the dye has transferred. He has clearly been outside in the snow. When Molina asks if he's ok, Clark turns and says "she's awake," which is immediately followed by a power outage that also affects Molina's smartphone.

On December 22, the delivery guy arrives and finds the place empty. A figure moves inhumanly fast through one corridor, but no other sign of life is present. The TV is playing "Twist and Shout" in repeat. He finds Annie's tongue on the floor underneath a table (several feet away from where Clark had been standing) and calls the police.

The next day, Rose finds the bodies of the scientists. They are frozen together, almost completely buried in the ice, bodies twisted in agony. They are naked, with burnt corneas and blood from their ears. Some have scratched their eyes out or bit themselves. Lund has Annie's spiral drawn on his forehead. Somehow, he is also still alive. (I don't know if this is important, but Danvers had to brush snow away to see the spiral, but Rose knew about it and told Navarro. Maybe it was more visible when she found the bodies and snow covered it before the police arrived, maybe Travis told her.) The scientists's clothes were found folded neatly near the corpsicle. The shoes look like indoor slippers, and it's likely that the clothes match what they were all wearing the night of December 17. A single handprint was taken from one shoe. It appears to be missing part of the ring and pinky fingers on the right hand (or they just couldn't get the print of those fingers).

Lund wakes briefly. He tells Danvers and Navarro, and I quote, "we woke her. She's awake. And now she's out. She's out there in the ice. She came for us in the dark."

Those are all the relevant facts concerning the main murder case (to my knowledge) as of episode three. I suppose I could have included a picture of Annie's stab wounds, but I couldn't make any kind of pattern out of them, or take a guess at what the weapon was. There's also the snow Navarro hit in the first episode, but I couldn't tell what it is, or if it's anything more than dirt and snow piled on the road. Personally, they do not suggest a microbial origin or cause. Diseases take time to infect, and they don't progress in everyone at exactly the same rate. The scientists were found together, practically climbing over each other. They died at almost exactly the same time, apparently in abject panic. I don't think a disease can kill that precisely. How did Clark avoid getting infected, since he lived with them all? Plus, whatever happened to them happened shortly after the power outage, since Molina' left his sandwich behind. One would assume he meant to eat it, since he went through the trouble to make it. The death of the scientists, the power outage, and the water going bad are all too closely linked in time to be unrelated. I wish I had a map of Ennis. I'd like to see how close these are in physical distance.

I also don't think there are any real clues to be found in the website. Their bios look about like what you'd get if you asked someone to come up with backgrounds for people studying ancient microorganisms in glacial ice. Plus, I think most of the scientists are ultimately going to be unimportant as individuals. Out of all eight men, Lund and Clark are the only ones focused on by the narrative. When interviewed, the cleaning ladies only mentioned Lund (yelled at them for touching his stuff) and Clark (his crying, probably over the brutal unsolved murder of his girlfriend kept them from being able to clean his room) by name. Lund survived (for a while, at least). Clark is missing and is closely connected with Annie's case. Oliver Tagaq mentioned Lund by name when he learned the scientists were dead. (On a side note, I really wish Danvers and Navarro (mostly Danvers) hadn't been so hostile when questioning him. They might have gotten more information from him if they hadn't gone at it like assholes. Granted, that's practically an impossible task for Danvers.) The rest, sadly, don't seem to be important. They are effectively ignored and dismissed, much like how they ignored the cleaning ladies.

So what could have happened on December 17, and how is it tied to Annie's murder? Honestly, I don't know yet. I'm not sure there's enough information given to answer those questions. Lund's speech and the way the scientists died suggest a supernatural explanation, but other details surrounding their murder seem to suggest more prosaic, human causes. There's no sign of a struggle at the station, but maybe someone cleaned up after themselves. The way part of the note at the bottom of the whiteboard is erased looks unusual, like it could have happened accidentally. Maybe someone got knocked against it, or their coat brushed against the board when they were writing the message. It's also possible the murderer was able to make them all leave without a fight. The power had just gone out, so maybe they all gathered together to put it back on? Where's the circuit breaker or generator for the station? Maybe that's where the actual crime scene is. The folded clothes feel like something you'd make a person do right before you execute them, sort of like making your victim dig their own grave. It could also have the opposite motivation: I could see a person not in full possession of their faculties (like Clark, or maybe one of the cleaning ladies in a fugue state) instinctively trying to straighten things up. Both feel like very human actions.

Finally, who is "she"? Is that even the right question? When did "she" wake up? The scientists didn't seem to be doing anything that would trigger her awakening on the 17th, so it must have happened before. I wish I knew more about what made Clark's mental illness ramp up in the weeks before sunset. It feels like there could be an important clue there. Too bad Clark is missing and anyone else who could answer the question is dead.

[beardedmrbean]

Women training as midwives and nurses in Afghanistan have told the BBC they were ordered not to return to classes in the morning - effectively closing off their last route to further education in the country.

Five separate institutions across Afghanistan have also confirmed to the BBC that the Taliban had instructed them to close until further notice, with videos shared online showing students crying at the news.

The BBC has yet to confirm the order officially with the Taliban government's health ministry.

However, the closure appears to be in line with the group's wider policy on female education, which has seen teenage girls unable to access secondary and higher education since August 2021.

The Taliban have repeatedly promised they would be readmitted to school once a number of issues were resolved - including ensuring the curriculum was "Islamic".

This has yet to happen.

One of the few avenues still open to women seeking education was through the country's further education colleges, where they could learn to be nurses or midwives.

Midwifery and nursing are also one of the only careers women can pursue under the Taliban government's restrictions on women - a vital one, as male medics are not allowed to treat women unless a male guardian is present.

Just three months ago, the BBC was given access to one Taliban-run midwife training centre, where more than a dozen women in their 20s were learning how to deliver babies.

The women were happy to have been given the chance to learn.

“My family feels so proud of me," a trainee called Safia said. "I have left my children at home to come here, but they know I’m serving the country."

But even then, some of the women expressed fear about whether even this might be stopped eventually.

What will happen to those women - and another estimated 17,000 women on training courses - is unclear.

No formal announcement has been made, although two sources in the Ministry of Health confirmed the ban to BBC Afghan off the record.

In videos sent to the BBC from other training colleges, trainees can be heard weeping.

"Standing here and crying won’t help," a student tells a group of women in one video. "The Vice and Virtue officials [who enforce Taliban rules] are nearby, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to any of you."

Other videos shared with the BBC show women quietly protesting as they leave the colleges - singing as they make their way through the hallways.

One Kabul student said she had been told to "wait until further notice".

"Even though it is the end of our semester, exams have not yet been conducted, and we have not been given permission to take them," she told the BBC.

Another student revealed they "were only given time to grab our bags and leave the classrooms".

"They even told us not to stand in the courtyard because the Taliban could arrive at any moment, and something might happen. Everyone was terrified," she said. "For many of us, attending classes was a small glimmer of hope after long periods of unemployment, depression, and isolation at home."

What this means for women's healthcare also now remains to be seen: last year, the United Nations said Afghanistan needed an additional 18,000 midwives to meet the country's needs.

Afghanistan already has one of the worst maternal mortality rates in the world, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), with a report released last year noting 620 women were dying per 100,000 live births.

[duckprintspress]

Yeehaw! Queer Western Book Recs!

What’s the occasion? There is no occasion! We just thought it’d be fun to make a list of queer cowboy/girl/enby books and westerns! Say “Howdy, pardner” to our 8 picks. The contributors to this list are: Shadaras, Meera S., hullosweetpea, Nina Waters, boneturtle, and two anonymous contributors.

American Hippo (River of Teeth series) by Sarah Gailey

Years ago, in an America that never was, the United States government introduced herds of hippos to the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This plan failed to take into account some key facts about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. 

By the 1890s, the vast bayou that was once America’s greatest waterway belongs to feral hippos, and Winslow Houndstooth has been contracted to take it back. To do so, he will gather a crew of the damnedest cons, outlaws, and assassins to ever ride a hippo. American Hippo is the story of their fortunes, their failures, and his revenge.

Done and Dusted (Rebel Blue Ranch series) by Lyla Sage

She’s off-limits, but he’s never been good at following the rules.

For the first time in her life, Clementine “Emmy” Ryder has no idea what she’s doing. She’s accomplished everything on her to-do list. She left her small hometown of Meadowlark, Wyoming; went to college; and made a career for herself by doing her favorite thing: riding horses. But after an accident makes it impossible for her to get back into the saddle, she has no choice but to return to the hometown she always wanted to escape.

Luke Brooks is Meadowlark’s most notorious bad boy, bar owner, and bachelor. He’s also the unofficial fifth member of the Ryder family. As Emmy’s older brother’s best friend, Luke spent most of his childhood antagonizing her. It’s been years since he’s seen her, but when she walks into his bar and back into his life, he can’t take his eyes off her. Despite his better judgment, he wants to do a whole lot more than just look at her.

Emmy’s got too much on her mind to think about romance. And Luke knows he should stay away from his best friend’s younger sister. But what if Luke is just what Emmy needs to get her spark back? Or will they both go up in flames?

Outlawed by Anna North

The day of her wedding, 17 year old Ada’s life looks good; she loves her husband, and she loves working as an apprentice to her mother, a respected midwife. But after a year of marriage and no pregnancy, in a town where barren women are routinely hanged as witches, her survival depends on leaving behind everything she knows.

She joins up with the notorious Hole in the Wall Gang, a band of outlaws led by a preacher-turned-robber known to all as the Kid. Charismatic, grandiose, and mercurial, the Kid is determined to create a safe haven for outcast women. But to make this dream a reality, the Gang hatches a treacherous plan that may get them all killed. And Ada must decide whether she’s willing to risk her life for the possibility of a new kind of future for them all.

Prize Money by Celeste Castro

Eva is saved from impending disaster by a tall, dark, and handsome bullfighter–a woman. Toma Rozene is an equestrian stuntwoman fresh off the set of a blockbuster film when a family emergency calls her home to help run the family business: rescuing fallen rodeo riders before blustering bulls and bucking broncos trample their dreams. Eva and Toma’s shared passions and competitive spirits make friendship easy, but, as their feelings deepen, they must decide if the divergent futures they seek will stand in the way of love.

Wake of Vultures (The Shadow series) by Lila Bowen

Nettie Lonesome lives in a land of hard people and hard ground dusted with sand. She’s a half-breed who dresses like a boy, raised by folks who don’t call her a slave but use her like one. She knows of nothing else. That is, until the day a stranger attacks her. When nothing, not even a sickle to the eye can stop him, Nettie stabs him through the heart with a chunk of wood and he turns to black sand.

And just like that, Nettie can see.

But her newfound sight is a blessing and a curse. Even if she doesn’t understand what’s under her own skin, she can sense what everyone else is hiding—at least physically. The world is full of evil, and now she knows the source of all the sand in the desert. Haunted by the spirits, Nettie has no choice but to set out on a quest that might lead her to find her true kin . . . if the monsters along the way don’t kill her first.

Trigun: Deep Space Planet Future Gun Action!! by Yasuhiro Nightow

Somehow the past has placed a sixty billion double dollar bounty on Vash’s head, and the gunslinging pacifist can’t seem to get away from money grubbing, itchy-trigger-finger citizenry. Find out why Vash is worth so much money dead! Feel the clumsy worry of the unfortunate citizens of the pulverous planet! Follow the follies of an unlikely hero in a forbidding world! Join Vash the Stampede – with his troubled past and an uncanny ability to dodge a gazillion bullets – and a cavalcade of unlucky characters on a dusty, desert planet in the distant future.

Frontera by Julio Anta

As long as he remembers to stay smart and keep his eyes open, Mateo knows that he can survive the trek across the Sonoran Desert that will take him from Mexico to the United States. That is until he’s caught by the Border Patrol only moments after sneaking across the fence in the dead of night.

Escaping their clutches comes at a price, and lost in the desert without a guide or water, Mateo is ill-prepared for the unforgiving heat that is sure to arrive come sunrise. With the odds stacked against him, his one chance at survival may be putting his trust in something, or rather someone, that he isn’t even sure exists.

If you’d asked him if ghosts were real before he found himself face-to-face with one, Mateo wouldn’t have even considered it. But now, confronted with the nearly undeniable presence of Guillermo, he’s having second thoughts. Having spent his afterlife guiding migrants to safety, Guillermo knows things about the Sonoran Desert far beyond what could be explained by a mere hallucination. But even as Mateo forms an uneasy partnership with Guillermo, survival is still uncertain.

The Sonoran Desert, with its hostile temperatures and inhabitants, is teeming with danger as the Border Patrol, rogue militias, and animals prowl its deadly terrain. As his journey stretches on, Mateo will have to decide exactly what and who he’s willing to sacrifice to find home.

Bitter Springs by Laura Stone

In 1870s Texas, Renaldo Valle Santos, the youngest son of a large and traditional family, has been sent to train with Henry “Hank” Burnett, a freed slave and talented mesteñero—or horse-catcher—so he may continue the family horse trade. Bitter Springs is a sweeping epic that takes themes from traditional Mexican literature and Old Westerns to tell the story of a man coming into his own and realizing his destiny lies in the wild open spaces with the man who loves him, far from expectations of society.

Bonus Recs:

Caravan by Whisperforge – audiodrama

First rule of Wound Canyon: No one who gets in, ever gets out. So when a brilliant, ghostly specter flies through the sky amid the rain and lightning, Samir stumbles off a steep cliff and into a hidden world, one in which demons, vampires, and all other manner of paranormal creatures take sanctuary. 

Second rule of Wound Canyon: No one makes it alone. Samir’s decided to tag along with Argeaux’s Caravan, a band of supernatural bounty hunters and vigilante peace-keepers. Together with an ever-expanding train of fantastical tagalongs, Samir and his new friends venture deep into the bowels of the canyon to find a way out of the magical boundary that imprisons all who cross it.

Cowboy Bebop – tv series

A ragtag crew of bounty hunters chases down the galaxy’s most dangerous criminals. They’ll save the world – for the right price.

What are your favorite gay cowboy books?

Want to chat your favorite reads with us? Join our Book Lover’s Discord server!

Love reading queer books? Our Queer Book Challenge is running on Storygraph through the end of 2024. Come join us!

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

I loved Call the Midwife's 2024 Christmas Special! My favourite part is the scenes detailing the growing friendship between Sister Veronica and Geoffrey Franklin, who we already knew also write to each other. It was also cool to see her do some serious midwifing!

The scene in which they discuss being "a couple of spinsters" was sweet and sad at the same time. Geoffrey, who is heavily implied to be homosexual -Trixie mentioned his former "friend" Bernard- knows marriage is something he can't aspire to, and I wonder whether Sister Veronica regrets having to give up the chance of marrying and raising a family to take the veil. It'd be nice to see the matter discussed in the next season!

Sad to see Lucille is still not coming back; poor Cyril is so lonely, and he is clearly close to the two youngest midwives, Rosalind and Joyce. I wonder whether his storyline for the next season will have Cyril cheating on Lucille, even if just with a kiss or because he has developed feelings for one of the two ladies.

Daniel Laurie, who plays Reggie, was particularly good in this episode. The actor also appeared in the Christmas Special of Sister Boniface's Mysteries! This young man seems to be destined to be surrounded by nuns!

What scares me a little is this:

Trixie won't stay away from Poplar for a whole year, because otherwise her abilities as a midwife will get rusty, and it'd be too complicated for her to get registered in America, so it seems like she's going to commute between Nonnatus House and her family in the United States. I fear her presence in the next season will be limited because of this; while I love every single character in this show -something that had never happened before!- we can't have Call the Midwife without Trixie!

[idontplaytrack]

✧ Say You Won’t Let Go

AJ Campos x fem! reader (married)

Warnings: mentions of vomiting, blood & bodily fluids. Descriptions of labour & delivery.

“Hi, precious. Happy birthday.”

I haven’t written anything like this in a long time. So, I don’t really know. But I wanted to shake things up a little.

You watch the clock on the wall, terrified. You were alone, AJ was still at practice with her students. With each passing minute, you were regretting your decision of not informing AJ once these pains started. Foolish, really. Staring at your phone, you reached out to grab it hesitantly. Once it was in your hand, it buzzes. It was AJ- asking how you were doing. Well, you’ll be damned.

Ignoring her texts, you gave her a call. She thankfully answered pretty quickly. “Hi, baby.”

“AJ. You need to come home. Now.” You exhaled shakily.

“Okay, I’m on my way, honey. Phone the midwife now.”

She hung up, rushing back home to be with you. In the meantime, you dialled your midwife Aubrey’s number to let her know that you’ve been getting consistent pains for the last hour.

“Keep timing them, I’m on my way. You’ll be just fine, y/n. Deep breaths all the way, okay? I’ll see you in a bit.”

Next on your to-contact list was Stacey. She wanted to be here and you couldn’t see why not, since you and AJ have always been close with her and Dylan even after finishing high school. Usually, Stacey and Dylan were a unit. But you weren’t too comfortable with having Dylan around so he wasn’t going to be here. Since Stacey was the nearest to yours and AJ’s place, she arrives first.

“Hi, sweetie.” She rubs your arm soothingly, her eyes excited. “How are you feeling?”

“Very uncomfortable.” You chuckled dryly. Stacey led you back to the couch after swiftly shutting the door.

“AJ’s on her way, right?”

You nodded, “And Aubrey. I just- oh, my dear God. That hurt.” You grabbed your phone to note down the duration of the contraction and the time. “You want some water?” Stacey offered.

“I’m good. How’d you get here so fast, anyway?”

“Your timing was perfect- Dylan went out with his guys. And I was just about to come over here to disturb you guys.” Stacey chuckled.

Stacey kept you occupied for the next half hour or so before AJ barged into the apartment with Aubrey. “Hi, baby. Hi.” She rushed to your side, smooching you on the cheek, “I’m here, my love.” “Me and Piper will set up the pool in case you want to use it. I’ll be right back to check on your progress, alright, hun?”

“Okay.” You nodded, your eyes screwed shut as a contraction coursed through your body. AJ let you squeeze her hand till it was over. “I’ll go get changed real quick then I’ll be right back here with you, okay?” Pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, she scurries to your shared bedroom to change out of her sweaty outfit.

Currently 5:30pm, it's hour three of labour and you were beginning to feel a little tired. And hungry. "She can eat, right?" AJ asks for confirmation. "Yes, she sure can." Aubrey answers, "Just let me know what she eats in case she gets sick so we don't get alarmed by how it looks."

"What would you wanna have, baby?" AJ asks quietly.

"I dunno- some soup?"

"I'll go heat up some for her. You stay." Stacey offered, heading for the kitchen. "Thanks, Stacey." AJ smiled gratefully. You leaned onto AJ and shut your eyes, letting the sound of whatever was playing on TV and the comfort of AJ massaging your lower back to lull you to sleep. To be fair, you couldn't on account of how shitty you were feeling, so you kept drifting in and out until Stacey walked back to you with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Well...she put it in a mug so either of you could handle it more easily. AJ didn't even say anything and just fed you the soup. You were too tense to say anything, honestly.

"I bought some takeout, so AJ, if you wanna eat anything. Let me know." Stacey informs her. "Oh. Okay, um- you can eat first if you're hungry. I'll wait till after she's finished eating."

————

You thought that was bad? You definitely weren't as prepared as you thought you were. A little past 8pm- hour six: your back started to bother you. Really started to bother you. You whimpered pitifully, leaning onto AJ for support as she stood before you with her arms on either side of you, her fingers interlaced resting on your lower back. "What's the matter, honey?" She asks you in a whisper. "My back feels like it's on fire." You sniffled, trying your best to keep it together. AJ glances at Aubrey for suggestions, but she asks if you wanted to try the shower anyway. Aubrey seconded the suggestion, saying that it could make things a bit more comfortable for you. You agreed without a word, and they helped you get to the bathroom.

Once the hot water hit your back, you began to feel the relief. But, you could hardly stay still anymore. AJ stood beside you, Stacey was close by in case either of you needed anything. Aubrey and Piper went to make sure the pool was filled up for your use seeing your current condition. However, an abrupt pained scream from you sent Aubrey rushing back into the bathroom to check your progress. "Halfway there, hun." She announces. Right as she said that, a sickening feeling overtook your body. Seeing how flustered you were, Stacey watched you closely. AJ shut the water off, asking you what you needed. "Bin." You swallowed thickly. Stacey brisk-walked over with and held it under your chin just in time. That officially had you in tears, wishing for it to be over. But it just wasn't time yet. "You're okay, lovey. You're doing so well, y/n. You're okay. I'm right here with you." AJ reached over to grab a couple sheets of tissue to wipe off your chin. Stacey lined the bin with a new bag as a precaution, getting rid of the old one. "Think you can manage some water, darling?" Aubrey asks.

"Mmm." You mumbled incoherently, head laying forward on AJ's chest now, "No. I-" You retched, nothing came out and AJ wasn't the least bit fazed, rubbing your back. "It's alright, baby. Shh, deep breaths, hm? Just like we learnt."

"Alright, take your time. Maybe we can try some ice chips later on." Aubrey agreed in understanding. Even with the water still off, AJ carries on putting pressure on your lower back to counter against the ache. Eventually, you dried off your feet and was walking around the apartment again while wrapped in a robe. "AJ, it's nearly 10. Go eat something." You urged, "Stacey's here, I'll be okay."

"Yeah, go eat. I heated up the food already."

"You already ate?" AJ asks, unwillingly letting go of you.

"Quickly ate some." Stacey shrugged, "Eat up, we'll just stay around here so you can see her." She helps you sit down on the couch, AJ walks to the kitchen to eat. Aubrey approached you to check your progress, expectedly. "You're progressing very well, hun. 7 centimetres."

You could no longer sit comfortably as you feel the baby's head lowering. So you stood up, alarming Stacey. "I'm just standing up. Sitting's getting really unc- shit." You gasped, clutching onto Stacey's arm for dear life for the 30 seconds.

AJ returns to your side after about fifteen minutes. You were exhausted- eight hours in and barely two hours of very broken up sleep. Every time the pain hits you, you were closer and closer to bursting into tears. And you weren't sure how, but you were then able to squeeze in about a half hour of sleep: laying on the couch with your head in AJ's lap as she massages your scalp. In the meantime, AJ times the contractions on your behalf to the best of her ability while you were asleep.

————

Your eyes shot open when you felt a new pressure growing between your legs. Feeling liquid leak and trickle down your thigh, you alerted Aubrey and AJ- Stacey was at the kitchen island scrolling through her phone. The pain steadily increases for the rest of the time- which was nearly another two hours before Aubrey checked you for the last time. You've been in the pool for the past hour and it has luckily helped alleviate the pain some. "It's go time, y/n. You ready to meet your baby girl?"

You and AJ shared a look of excitement but also insane nerves mixed in with some delirium - it was finally happening. Understandably, you didn't really know what to expect, but your instincts kicked in when needed. "Push whenever you get a contraction, hun. Breath through it, you've been doing wonderful." "Do you want me to sit in there with you, babe?" AJ asks, squeezing your hands and pressing a kiss on them. You let out a low groan, nodding your head while a contraction coursed through your body. You did as your body told you to, only letting go of AJ's hand when the pain subsided. She was already changed into swim shorts instead so she could sit with you. And you...you weren't wearing anything other than a bra because Aubrey had to keep an eye on your progress. AJ settled herself behind you, letting you lay your back against her, relieving you from the kneeling position you were in for a hot minute.

“Couple more pushes and she should be crowning, mama. Come on.” Aubrey encouraged.

Suddenly feeling the burn, you burst into tears. “I can’t do it.” You choked on a sob. That ring of fire finally broke you- in terms of emotions, you rarely after showed this side. You never showed pain, in the past 10 odd hours, it’s the most vulnerable you’ve ever been since the first trimester. AJ’s been your rock through it all, helping you in every way she could: holding your hair back when you got sick, satisfying your cravings, massaging your legs and feet. Worst of all, tolerating the crazy influx of hormones.

“Baby, listen to me.” AJ coaxed, “Deep breaths, you got this, baby. I know you can do it.” Aubrey was keeping a close eye on you since things were moving along rapidly.

Another wave of contractions hit and you could only cry, “I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“You’re doing so well, honey.” Stacey chimed in.

“This is so bad…” You moaned in pain. “It’s alright, y/n. You can take a minute to catch your breath.” Aubrey reminded, “Don’t rush it.”

Stacey stayed by the side, near your back not wanting to make you more uncomfortable by looking where you didn’t want her to. You leaned back against AJ again, she tilted your face to give you a kiss on the lips, “You can do it, baby. She’s almost here.” She cups your face, stroking your cheek. “Okay? Listen to your body and you’ll be just fine.”

You took a moment to breathe then nodded decisively, “Okay. Yeah, of course I-” A contraction interrupted you, forcing you to push but the pain got so intense that you got nauseous again. “Bin, bin.” You said hurriedly. Stacey again, held the trash can beneath your chin so you could spill into it in time. You barely had anything left in you, so eventually what came out was stomach acid- which severely hurt your throat.

“Big push on the next one, alright? Get past her head, and it’ll be easier.”

You practically screamed the house down at 1:30 in the morning, no other thoughts in your head as the ridiculous pain filled your tired body. You could feel it, her head was out and as strange as it felt to you, all that mattered to you right now was getting the rest of her out. With Aubrey aiding you, that happened within minimal, the rest of your baby slid out of you, providing with sudden much needed relief. You fell back against AJ, shamelessly sobbing when you heard the fierce cries of your newborn. “Oh, my God.” You kept repeating to yourself in disbelief. Aubrey swiftly dried her off and wrapped her in a blanket before handing her to you.

“I’m so proud of you, my love.” AJ sniffles, capturing your lips into her own, “Hi, baby.” You chuckled in sheer disbelief and shock, “Oh, hi baby. You’re so perfect.” The infant very quickly calmed down in your arms as you cradled her. AJ carefully stroked her cheeks with a single finger, admiring the tiny little girl. “She’s beautiful, baby.” AJ kisses you again, “Thank you.” You couldn’t control your emotions, literally bursting into tears as you savoured the moment. “I am so proud of you. You’re incredible.”

While you rested following the delivery of the afterbirth, Piper checked you out and gave you a clean bill of health. In the meantime, Aubrey checked your baby to make sure everything was fine. And she was, thank goodness. Just noisy because she wanted you. “We’ll start cleaning everything up and let you three have some time alone to bond.” Aubrey smiled, “Congratulations, you ladies have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.”

“Thank you, Aubrey. Piper.” You said, sniffling as Aubrey handed her back to you. The two of them smiled, proceeding to carry out their task as mentioned. “I will be back to help you wash up then show you how to nurse, alright?”

“Okay.” You acknowledged with a nod, handing the baby over to AJ who’s been eagerly and patiently waiting. “Hi, precious.” AJ cooed, the biggest smile was plastered on her face, “Happy birthday.”

“We don’t have a name yet, do we?” You chuckle, fighting back a yawn.

“We have some time.” She laughs lightly, eyes not leaving you.

“Do you want to start the A initial tradition?” You ask casually.

“That’s not important. Mine and Gabs’ initial’s don’t match and we’re twins. So.” AJ says. “So on our list we had Eva, Elena, Catalina, Valentina and Penelope.”

“C.C.- could be cute for a nickname.” You mentioned.

“Yeah.” AJ agrees.

“But I’m kinda leaning more towards Elena.” You told her, “The meaning. It stands out to me more…’shining light’.”

AJ put an arm around your shoulder, “Victoria seems like a nice fit.”

“Oh, that sounds perfect.” You gasped softly.

AJ giggles, “I can call her Evie for short. That’s so cute.”

“It is so cute.” You nearly cried again, “Oh, damn hormones.”

“That’s fine, cry all you need. You just pushed through what? 12 hours without any pain medication.” AJ remarked, “That’s unbelievable.”

“How did I get so lucky?” You sigh.

AJ presses a kiss to your cheek, “I love you both so, so much.”

[changingplumbob]

I tried For Rent out, sorry if I'm late to the info party

Results and occurances below

I launched my photography save successfully... Next step, completely new save on a rental unit in Tomarang. The heck is Onboarding and why does it apply to this scenario????

Wait... there's only two rental units available in Tomarang? And the 2 bedroom has mold and spooky??? Yes I need a 2 bedroom because I'm also checking if the system can handle an infant on lot and if I can figure out water births because lat time I tried the midwife would not arrive.

Okay it handled me going in and out of cas, and switching to my internet browser a couple of times... I went into BB mode and changed the second bedroom. Game seems unfazed so far. I have played on fast speed here and there. Successfully traveled worlds.

New day new loading. A patch of mold showed up in this allegedly moldy residential rental. Time to investigate options! Can't call the landlord about it? Let's try calling and inviting the property owner to visit, see how they react to the mold.

Clicked invite in and... they're not coming inside. Mate you can't see the mold outside! Okay I found the ask to inspect menu... and the mold is not classified as an object, hmm. Alright let's walk past the mold to get to the couch, no reaction from landlord except to say its dust free?

Let's try complain about rental conditions, maybe he'll go deal with the mold? Oop, nope. He just dislikes us a little now. Time to have the pregnant sim clean the mold in front of him, will he react?

Na it's fine mate, you just chill and do nothing. This must be great for the fetus. I'll go get the husband to stop jogging. Well I cancelled the action but he's still jogging away... Now he's stopped. Back home, has he picked a great angle for TV viewing or what?

Second ob visit, we're expecting twin boys. Time to go visit the tiger sanctuary! Oh wait... no, you're kidding! The wife can't queue up a visit because the husband is inside? Are you serious right now? We can't visit as groups???

Back to waiting for the outdoor lights. Seriously outdoor light not properly illuminating is a pet peeve of mine. If they could make these ones work, why not make all outdoor lights turn on at the proper dusky time? The York's patio would like a word!

So we introduced ourselves to the neighbours and now they're crowding up our lounge... I didn't actually invite you in from the shared area! Now we're off to the ob for the final visit and they're still there!

Middle of the night, after poor husband got attacked by Vlad as if he doesn't have two infants on the way, explosive malfunction! Will the property owner come at 2:30 am? He will!

Oh dear, it's a crush because we ushered him inside wearing just our boxers isn't it? Uh, sir, the trash is not the problem! I asked you to go check the stove! Both sims have now asked him to check it. He decides he would rather do push ups in the rain. Y'all I closed for lunch and I'm back and FIRE TRAP! Do I dare press play?

I thought the property owner was finally fixing but he's standing by the stove complaining that it's broken instead... Now he's washing his hands?

WE LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING but why not bless other sims with incoming infant shrieks?

I eventually selected to replace the stove, there was no repair option. It cost 1050 simoleons and the property owner gave us... 143 simoleons to cover it... But at least I can watch the neighbours walk from their door to mine with suitcases. Still waiting on the dilation and the stayover guests have got into a brawl with each other... It was the father and son in law. Oh and now the girl is jumping in trash...

Note to self, water birth involves midwife and not partner. Might use it for single sims but probably not my couples. Twins are born and I can cautiously say that For Rent doesn't appear to be glitching at the moment. Don't invite this family to stay over though, the unit now has four piles of trash from their antics.

[pseudowho]

You seem like a person I’d feel very safe with. Not only as friends but also as a patient/pregnant woman, so to me, it seems like being a midwife was your calling for life. I know, that’s a wild-ass thing to say to an internet stranger but I can’t help it. Hope you and the rest of the Haitch family are doing good <3

To be honest, I've worked really hard to make that the case over the past few years. As the Head Midwife for a unit of birthing people (cos women, and f2m trans men) coming in in emergency situations, I had to lead the rhetoric of the treatment there. Pregnancy and birth is a profoundly vulnerable point for birthing people, and I like to protect them where I can. Even if that meant throwing my weight around.

So actually, it means a lot that you've said this. I'm sadly considering leaving Midwifery, for assorted reasons, but not without a heavy heart. I've had an offer to study another degree for the last 2.5 years that I've sat on for a while.

Anyway, yeah. Thank you. It does mean a lot, really.

-- Haitch xxx

[amumandherthoughts]

The birth story.

This is a long one..

I was 41 weeks and 3 days pregnant when I had my last 'normal' appointment with the midwife team. It was then that they told me if I hadn't naturally gone into labour in 2 days, then they would have to induce me.

Not exactly what you want to hear with your first pregnancy. Lots of people tell you lots of stories and how induction can be more intense or it was the best labour they'd ever had. Whatever, everyone is different, so I took it all with a grain of salt and hoped for the best.

2 days went by and I had my next appointment where the midwife and Drs recommended a 'Cook's Catheter'. To try and prompt my body to do its thing without the need for an IV.

Well I came back the next morning and still no labour! Shit. I was going to have to be induced.

Ok, so I'm in the birthing unit ready to go (and completely terrified but trying to hold it together).

They take out the Cooks Catheter and I'm 4cm dilated. Great! Almost half way there!!

The nurses broke my water, put the IV in and the contractions began.

Holy shit.

To quote my mum- "they don't call it labour for nothing." Boy, was she right. I had all the pain from my contractions in my lower back, and it was excruciating!

I'd never had anything hurt as much as those bloody contractions! No one told me as much, but I presume my baby was posterior because of all the back pain.

I was using heat pack after heat pack. Having my husband massage my back as hard as he could and it still barely helped! I was using the gas, which I think mainly just helped keep my breathing under control...

After 5 hours, I was ready to up the ante - I asked the nurse for the next step in pain management - Endone.

Well, all of the people who say Endone is the best are all fucking liars. It didn't take any of my pain away, just made me super drowsy and want to fall asleep even during a contraction!

Right, so by this time, I'd had the IV induced contractions for roughly 12 hours, and every time the nurse did an internal exam, my cervix was at 4 cm. There was no change! I could have cried! Well.. I did! And I was exhausted!!!

So the reason it took so long to get to this point was because every time I contracted my baby's heartbeat was waver and so the nurses couldn't increase the hormones to get me to dilate more/faster. They turned it off for a short time, and bub was all good, but then they turned it on, and the heartbeat wavered again.

So the Dr recommended an emergency ceasarean section due to failed to progress. Meaning my body didn't do what it was supposed to and bub couldn't come out!

I was ok with having a caesar, that part honestly didn't bother me. It is what it is and the team I had were incredible.

I had an epidural, which was heaven! For about half an hour. Until it made me vomit and bubs heartbeat wavered again and I needed to lay on my side. Well then the anaesthetic drained to the side didn't it and I started feeling the contractions down the other side again! This certainly wasn't what I expected when they gave me an epidural.

Ok, so after this, we headed to surgery. We're talking 17hrs after being induced now.

I'd never had any sort of surgery in my life. Only ever had mild local anaesthetics!

So when they numbed my torso and down it was the weirdest feeling. So see my legs being moved but unable to feel it. I hated it.

And then, being in the ice-cold theatre, thank God I had my husband by my side because I was downright terrified.

Terrified of feeling pain (which I didn't)

Terrified of the surgery (I would visualise it and freak out)

Terrified something bad would happen to me (haemorrhage or have tools left inside)

Terrified most of all that I wouldn't hear my baby cry.

During the surgery I kept vomiting and felt gross as fuck. The lovely nurse suctioned the vomit from my mouth and all was well.

Bub was taken out, and he cried! So I cried in relief! I can't tell you how much relief I felt about that. He had a bit of a hard time breathing, so I couldn't hold him, and he had to go up to special care. My husband went with him, and I went to recovery (where I slept for 2 hours, apparently!!)

I was then taken to the maternity ward and special care unit to see my bub. So surreal being able to see and touch him! Still no cuddles yet though because he was on the breathing apparatus.

I was wheeled back to maternity and tried to sleep. Though that was difficult being so very numb and worried about tearing stitches or whatever else might've gone on down there.

Thus, my baby boy was born, and I am still emotional remembering these happenings. Very emotional.

It was traumatic and downright awful. Will I do it again? Yes, because it's a small drop in the ocean for what I now treasure more than anything.

[best-nun-tournament]

Round 1, Match 26

Mother Mildred (Call the Midwife) vs Silque (Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

Mother Mildred is an Anglican nun of the Order of St. Raymond Nonnatus, is a midwife and caregiver, and is Mother Superior.

Silque is a mendicant nun serving the goddess Mila

Mother Mildred

She is funky! Unlike most managers she delights in getting her hands dirty and helping out if she believes that is what she had been called to do. Absolutely a fun character and really shakes up the dynamic of the house when she comes to stay.

Silque

Beautiful woman... beautiful woman... Anyway she's the first cleric you get if I recall correctly in the game so you rely on her pretty early on and she's a good unit! She learns warp early which is a great spell for all kinds of strategies. But this isn't about her gameplay! She's just a fun character. She's far from your standard quiet nun type. She enjoys the Girl Talk (tm) and tries to have some with Faye (although Faye shuts it down because she hate gossip or something). She's so cool and girlboss. But even with all that she's still very devout! Because it was Mila's teachings that saved her as a child, she is extremely dedicated to serving the Mother Mila. Also she likes to eat raw bags of flour and hard stale bread. The justification for this was that she was raised humbly (first on a pilgrimage with her mother then by the Novis Priory) but I think it's just goofy as hell. Also she has a high luck growth which is also funny because she gets kidnapped like twice and I don't think that's very lucky.

--------

More stuff: this is just more stuff but I find it interesting how her mother served the god Duma while she serves the goddess Mila, opposing dieties. Even though she was raised for the first years of her life by her mother who was a Duma Faithful, she was raised the rest of her life in a Mila-dedicated Priory so she serves Mila although her mother served Duma.