#call that dyke Barbie

[cicada-dyke]

I’ve been planning my Barbie outfit for months and I was gonna patch some hearts on a flaired pair of jeans and we were all gonna dress up but I haven’t been feeling like myself the past week so I don’t have the motivation nor the materials and one of the girls in the group just asked to bring her homophobic boyfriend along so I guess shorts and a band t shirt it is

[captn-lovelace]

#1 best diff between tik tok and tumblr is that i haven’t seen the phrase “girl’s girl” even once on this website i feel free

[uraandri]

oh my god all of you shut the fuck up traditional femininity and masculinity have never been and never will be under attack in cis heteronormative society you being made fun of for playing with dolls is nothing compared to absolute torture anybody who even dared to question let alone confront gender conformism went through can we please think critically who benefits from this loving femininity and all things pink and sparkly is the true feminist stance and everybody else is a pick me rethoric for just a second please

[myxinidaes]

I think a lot about how a girl chafing against and actively rejecting the gender roles enforced upon them when they were young has been labeled internalized misogyny.

if you hate pink because you were forced to wear pink when you were younger bc thats what little girls wear? internalized misogyny, according to the internet. if you hate dolls because you got in trouble for wanting to play with dinosaurs and cars? internalized misogyny, according to the internet. if you resent the beauty industry and the way that in order to be seen as a human if you're not conventionally attractive, you need to redraw your face to fit constantly shifting beauty standards? internalized misogyny, according to the internet.

beginning to think that the average internet user doesn't know what internalized misogyny is! beginning to think that you all are unable to think critically about the world we live in and how our identities are used to sell products and enforce gender roles!

[zaminami]

yes exactly 🤝 and i know its the "tumblr misogyny inherently liking male characters more" thing but the movie was not about ken. it was about barbie and about how women and girls need to navigate misogyny and patriarchy. ken and gloria had abt the same amt of screentime and i havent heard a peep abt gloria. its all about ryan gosling and HIS role and HIS part in the movie and while all of that is important that is not what the movie is about and focusing on him is taking away everything the movie is trying to say.

tumblr bitches will see the barbie movie, a movie abt the patriarchy and how men are prioritized, and say "will anyone make this about ken and ken only" and not wait for an answer

[furiroad]

Furiosa spoilers under the cut 🚗

It's actually staggering how much that movie did not need to exist. Gonna bullet point some thoughts

My sarcastic lol @ the lightning fast sisters cameo at the end where they're all played by completely different people. the quick flash of Cheedo's eyes bc they managed to get Courtney Eaton back for three seconds didn't appease me

I guess it technically passes the bechdel test bc right at the start Furiosa says "be still" to Valkyrie but iirc that's the only pass moment. I know not passing the bechdel test doesn't mean the movie is automatically bad I just think it's interesting considering it's following Fury Road

"she talks to her mother" I don't think they ever said her mum's name out loud

You know how mad max fury road could have a silent version w no dialogue + isolated soundtrack and it worked because you could tell what's going on anyway? This movie has the opposite problem. Way too much talking. They over-explain everything

The best bit was the prolonged torture scene at the end where Hemsworth explains Furiosa's entire character arc and the message of the movie out loud to her and also us

Even his teddy had an arm missing, replaced with a barbie arm. Thanks. We get it

Her arm made robot noises

Actually threw MY arms up in disgust when she went back for that boy she supposedly had a romance with despite the film never bothering to actually show/explain that. I'm calling it a romance because the actors did. I guess it was supposed to be a Capable/Nux parallel but it didn't work for me and not just because I'm a dyke and a hater OK, if you're gonna do a ROMANCE, DO A ROMANCE. don't leave me sitting there wondering why Furiosa is risking it all for some guy she's had ONE conversation with, especially after he offers to get her away from the Citadel and back to where she came from, WHICH IS HER ENTIRE MOTIVE EVER SINCE SHE WAS TAKEN

I DON'T GET IT

Them trying to emulate Max and Furiosa's instinctive, perfect we have to trust each other moment by having Jack and Furiosa... look at each other Meaningfully fifty times while they were supposed to be driving cars? Don't make me laugh! You will never be them!!

Max being there for a second wasn't cute! I rolled my eyes

Same at "remember me?" MAKE UP YOUR OWN STUFF

So many things happened because they needed to happen (plot demanded it) and didn't make any sense in context. My favourite was when Furiosa rode her motorcycle up a dune to get away after cutting off her arm and the biker gang couldn't follow her up there for some reason

So much Christian imagery... threw me off tbh

Considering it's Furiosa's movie it sure isn't about her + she doesn't speak at all for almost the first half

This movie was way too long

I called it about the peach seed

I called it that she cut her own arm off

George Miller read some of my blog but not all of it

You know how The People Eater rubbed his nipple that one time and it was delightfully weird and gross and got a good reaction? Well in this movie he's constantly rubbing it, the whole time. Really lessens the impact of the nipple rub

As you can see this movie has made me insane

Like this is not really about the nipple rub but do you get what I'm saying here

Furiosa spends most of the movie hiding her hair (because as we all know, having long hair immediately identifies you as a woman) and then when her head covering gets knocked off and her hair is revealed (omg she's a girl) she leaves it like that and becomes an Imperator. On what planet

The history man frames the entire movie for some reason. Do they show Miss Giddy? Take a wild guess

One of the coolest parts of fury road was that a gang of bikers ended up being hardcore wasteland grannies w guns and loose morals in response to people fucking around for far too long without finding out. Did this movie have anything like that for me? Take a wild guess for a second time

The car fight scenes weren't even that great. Couldn't remember hearing any good music under them (brother in arms truly lightning in a bottle) and they went on for too long which feels wild to say about suped up car battles in the australian wasteland: 2 but oh well. This is how I feel. Fury Road was so good at carefully measuring out high octane action and then downtime and careful, quiet character introspection and this movie had no idea what it was doing either way

Honestly I don't hate it but I feel like it was a waste of time and it doesn't need to exist at all. A real nothing experience. Am I going to see this movie ten times in cinemas? No I am not even going to see it twice in cinemas

I don't know what I was expecting.

oh my god also they played clips of Fury Road over the credits as if to say "remember how fucking good this is in comparison to the dumb shit you just watched"

[batsplat]

let’s be shallow and objectifying, who’s the most handsome/attractive motogp rider, current grid and from the past, in your opinion??

so, an important caveat here is. I am a lesbian. obviously that means I'm the best-placed to give an accurate assessment on these matters and in many ways am the definitive authority... but there is perhaps a little bit of a tendency to just rate blokes highly if they meet the 'if you squinted could you trick yourself into thinking they were a woman' criterion. also not to get into the ins and outs of how sexuality works too much, but it does become more about persona for me when you've not got the same instant physical attraction? like how much are you into how they behave, into the vibes, into the complete package...

all of this obviously means that valentino automatically has a leg up as certified evil lesbian. everybody knows about the 125cc dyke years, but honestly if I squint I can still see it for much of his career (which btw is why personally the least attractive I think I've ever found him aren't any of the haircuts that everyone hates but his 2002 where he looked like 'just some guy'). shout out to his early yamaha years, definitely could pass as a lesbian. also even when he's got the sideburns I can dirtbag lesbo him in my head. without getting too much into valentino hairstyle rankings, I do also actually like his shaved head eras, it's very lean and mean. very butch realness, if you will. he's in the mancrush territory for me like he is actually quite hot

other retired riders... there's like a very specific time period where casey looks quite nice, in his early ducati years where he's wide eyed and surly and has a good camera smile but is also kinda grumpy a lot of the time. not necessarily attractive but sort of like a doe? skittish. like you kinda want to pat him on the shoulder and tell him to chill out? I think his face is quite nice to look at, but it kinda fades when he goes to honda and falls prey to 'just some guy' syndrome. he looks quite nice post retirement though, *gestures vaguely* rugged but in a nice way. I'm struggling to think of a single other retired rider I find attractive... chris vermeulen in the suzuki leathers looked kinda appealing actually. pre-valentino the sport really was 'just some guy' all the way unfortunately... maybe crivi deserves a shout out

from the current grid... uh. there's some guys I know are objectively attractive but also do nothing for me 99% of the time. marc does sometimes fall into this category unfortunately, like he's got a very compelling face but it's also too perfect? he does more for me these days!! a few more lines, bags under the eyes and all that... back in the day he did just look too much like a cross between a barbie doll and a literal toddler. I WILL SAY he's deeply attractive specifically at misano 2019 when he's got that massive grin while being booed (jerez 2005 important sister moment where valentino looks fantastic too). in general, every time he looks a bit psychotic I go 'yeah I get it' I think? like the motogp unlimited moment where joan is kinda terrified of him and marc looks like he's trying to figure out whether he can muster the energy to eat him, that really makes me go 'OH yeah now I understand'. luca I think is also clearly good looking, but again just a bit too much, he's very ooh look I'm a walking sculpture, good for him and all but also too much. I don't think pecco is attractive, but also his sister clearly does just look like the female version of him and she's INCREDIBLY hot, 12/10 girl call me, so I guess pecco probably is too? might do more for me if he got rid of the facial hair, but he does look quite... idk, soft, like I'd pat him on the head. aleix has a very firm jaw, he can definitely get it. also could be a lesbian without too little adjustment. not that this is the metric, but just saying! uh... fabio looks quite nice? when he had the bisexual leathers earlier this season he moved me, also he's got a nice voice. vinales occasionally has his moments, but it really depends on what he's doing with his hair and facial hair situation at any given time. um. that's it

[starofhisheart]

Dulcie: Two tickets to Oppen-

Eddie: -Barbie

Eddie: seriously? That movie sounds dryer than Big Eyes' pussy

Dulcie: excuse me? I'm not gonna even dignify that with a response

Also Dulcie: I just think-

Eddie: how can a dyke not wanna see the dykiest movie of the year?

Dulcie: do not call me-

Cath piping up from behind them: three tickets to Mission Impossible!

Dlcie and Eddie: HELL NO

[curlytemple]

tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

i was tagged by @significationary who absolutely already knows everything about me but let’s go

1. 3 ships: beronica+jarchie forever, and Big Destiel which has taken over my brain despite the fact that i have not yet watched spn

2. first ever ship: if i’m being honest my first tumblr era ship was sterek but i wasn’t about to let anyone call me a perverted freak on the perverted freak website

3. last song: i’ve been listening to the store radio at work all day but the last song i chose to listen to was when i was driving home yesterday peacefully singing along to troye sivan’s angel baby thinking about destiel again and then a squirrel darted out from a pile of leaves and i accidentally took an innocent life for the first time. harrowing.

4. last movie: watched jennifer lawrence in NO HARD FEELINGS with my brother and it was actually not really what i expected from the trailer and has a very sweet ending.

5. currently reading: THE gomens demon therapy fic sequel ANGEL in therapy that hurts me so good. also my sister convinced me to read soccer lesbian booktok rec “cleat cute” and it’s pretty bad ❤️

6. currently watching: riverdale rewatch with ANNA. and i started pretty little liars (still mad nobody told me how much dyke drama this show has) also selling sunset is back!! i love evil real estate barbies.

7. currently consuming: water and spearmint vape. hush.

8. currently craving: sweet relief of death

i know anna tagged me because i have the soul of a prolific poster but i lack the constitution to get silly with you all. she said: make an effort 🔪

so hiiiii newer mutuals hello @anarcha-queer-horror @wellwaterhysteria @gay-archie @tallahasseemp3 @eastvillages

+ older mutuals i always love to see on my dash @nicolegendary @mightyoreo @dumbestdyke @wimbledon2008

[zukkacore]

AUGH lucilla would be so good for the jaceclones. the jaceclones have a lot of emotions about how they were basically made for fetch quests and to die in combat and how jaceprime hates them for being what they are. they should get to channel that into music.

FNDJKDKDKD NO SAY THAT Lucilla would be so healing. They can finally get their emotions out.

this is our way of saying the jaceclones should start a girlband to channel their emotions n also I think Lucilla can be in it too just so that we can have the drama of musicians dating each other breaking up and channeling it into their music and having to perform the songs they literally wrote about each other on stage

Also for the record this is the one I secretly ship with Lucilla but u didn’t hear it from me. I call her roller derby Barbie Jace n her dykon (dyke icon) is Terpsichore skullcleaver. (But that’s bc I have a soft spot for j2 (aka frumpy art teacher Jace) x Zara)

[the-ugly-ly]

you ever have the opposite where your parents don’t try and make you cis but they try and make you trans. yeah that’s what my mom did.

i wasn’t allowed to be a girl. or like girly things. or wear girly clothes or colors. talking about boys or wanting to get my nails done? lmao foreign concepts.

“you don’t like that kind of stuff” she would tell me any time i asked to play with barbies. so she’d get me fire trucks and electric guitars which are cool asf but maybe as a little girl all i wanted was to be a princess or a play with baby dolls and be a mommy.

tbf my mom never made me “a boy”, but i was never allowed to be “a girl” at least not in the ways i wanted to. i went through a period of my life from childhood well into college feeling sooo dysphoric. i used to lay in bed as young as kindergarten thinking i was supposed to be a boy all along. i used to tell myself that when i’m older i’ll just cut off all my hair and no one would know the difference. i didn’t even fucking know what genitals were.

in high school my sister relentlessly called me a “dyke” and a “butch”. i came out to my mom as bisexual and she quickly dismissed it and told me to keep it quiet. i started going by “jack” to all my friends and wearing axe and button down shirts with my long hair pulled back. by college i finally cut off all my hair. i felt so fucking free to be… i didn’t go by “he/him”, i landed somewhere on the non-binary/androgynous centre of the spectrum. i was comfortable there for a while. but during this freedom i could still feel the fucking dysphoria creeping and it came crashing when a guy looked into my face and told me i looked “like a boy in a dress”.

that comment alone catapulted me onto the other far extreme of the gender spectrum. i started growing my hair out, obsessing over my weight and my make up. i started buying pink. pink Pink PINK. everything pink. i fancied a new name for myself too… the one i’m still going by six years later.

because wouldn’t you fucking know the dysphoria WENT AWAY. not because of all the pink or because i was dressing differently. i realize that doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme… i slowly found my way back slightly towards the centre of the spectrum, not as far as non-binary/androgynous but slightly from femme. and all that time i thought the stress was coming from wanting to feel “more like a boy” like i was always told i was supposed to be. i thought i felt so wrong all the time because i was constantly trying to be a girl… but it felt so wrong because i was actually trying and failing to be a boy.

it never felt right, it was people pleasing. it was projection from my mom. it was an extension of her own childhood trauma and my grandma dressing her like a boy and her brothers like girls growing up. she fucked me up. i’m in my late twenties and i am just now connecting the dots. everytime someone calls me “she/her” and i get a wave of euphoria, the dots are connected. as a cis woman, that shouldn’t be so fucking profound to me but it is. being called pretty or when a boy holds the door open for me is so fucking profound.

i still have never gotten my nails done, and i have very few girl friends… but i make a point to gush over my silly crushes, and i spoil the little girl inside of me any chance i get. every day the dots keep connecting and i’m unlearning everything from my mother and childhood and past. idk if i’ll ever feel like “a real girl” though. which is the most bizarre realization. but i’ll never stop being true to what feels right in my body ever again. for anyone.

[kuromi-hoemie]

So there used to be this dyke I had a crush on who worked at whole foods and I thought they were sorta into me so I gave them my number and invited them to an art show but I guess they weren't THAT into me because they never called/texted so we did not get to go to the art show together :( I never saw them again at whole foods after that. Fast forward several years I saw them with their new partner at the Barbie movie!! They looked very happy together and it was super cute.

idk if y'all talked or not but I'm glad they looked happy (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) ♡⁠ sry they never got back to u though 😩

[scalematey]

barbie movie will literally be like. hey dyke barbie sorry we called you slurs to your face and also behind your back but now you can participate in our political process so its fine

[jesterbots]

they only called her weird barbie cuz they couldnt get away with dyke barbie for PG

[jakantakanga]

Men in reality have never cared about women, and even men who claim to be feminist tend to be quite the opposite.

Men treat women in two manners,

1) Pretend to be nice to her, as I’m attracted.

2)I’m not attracted to her, and therefore she deserves to be treated awfully.

1) I, and many other women, cannot tell you the amount of times we’d met a man, had them be nice to us, only for them to confess their “””love””” for us in only 3 days. I had once met a man who came up to me in the library because I had been reading a book he said he enjoyed, only for him to ask for my phone number. The man never once asked my name, and knew nothing about me besides the fact I liked a book he did and that I was from the same island as him, but in only 2 days of knowing him, he sent me a lewd message asking for nudes. Imagine that! When I said no, and that I had a girlfriend, he swiftly blocked me and pretended I had not existed. This has happened multiple times to me, and is a reality of women

2) Men do not even consider the woman they find to be unattractive, human! Growing up, I had struggled with acne, I was/am autistic, and even more so I have always been out as a lesbian. The way in which men referred to and talked to me was cruel, always pointing out my flaws and making fun of my looks, telling me to shut up when I tried to join in on conversation, and even in some cases, calling me slurs. Just not even a month ago a man whom I knew for a long time got extremely mad at me when I questioned a comment he made. His response? He called me a dyke, a “sped bitch” and even threw in my race with more mysoginistic degrading “go eat some rice and beans you border hopping lesbo cunt.” (I wish I was making this up.) And this was the man who criticized me and called me anti-feminist for not being a fan of the barbie movie! Studies have proven time and time again that men do not see women they can’t sexualize as people, and women’s experiences can confirm this.

Stop trying to affirm that men can care for women, stop saying that you know men who are “one of the good ones,” and ask yourself, have you ever met a man who didn’t fit into those two categories?

[rosamundpikegf]

sorry I just had to put my rant about the Barbie mess somewhere

barbie really exposed how many feminine women, especially white and straight ones but not just them, just do not give a single flying fuck about masculine women at all. it’s so pathetic to watch them act like they’re leading the big feminist revolution by priding themselves on being “unapologetically” feminine, as if femininity is not expected and as if a lack of it is not punished, within families, within schools, work spaces, etc. they happily framed wearing pink and glitter and acting girly and silly as a subversive "healing our inner child" thing, they treated feminism as a mass coming together of women who want nothing more than to be girly together; something they think all women desperately want to do or should do, calling them pick me’s or afflicted with internalized misogyny if they don’t.

they equated "being girls" to wearing bows and giggling and wearing dresses and being "delulu" and having "girl dinner" and being a "25 year old teenage girl" and it´s just so fucking insane to me that they really think their femininity and clinging to a fairy princess "girlhood" is a fuck you to the patriarchy like... they willfully completely ignore the fact that the actually vulnerable ones are gender non conforming women, who experience actual aggression and threats to their safety due to how they look and move through the world, they don´t care, they don´t wanna hear it, they want to be the one and only victim in the entire world and refuse to see that certain kinds of femininity hide a very insidious kind of violence, that white women especially have weaponized for decades.

i am not hyper feminine at all but i know that people still do perceive me as a rather feminine woman because of my hair and make up, and i know that it grants me a certain kind of power in a room, a kind that other more masculine women (for example butch lesbians) don´t have, so i see it as my responsibility to acknowledge that, and to use it to shield them from violence whenever i can.

like how fucking heartless and stupid do you have to be to insist that being feminine is so so hard, like you´re god´s poorest little lamb because some little boy might have joked about your glitter dress in 2nd grade... get over it, other girls were too busy being terrified of being ostracized and brutalized and called a dyke, to care whether anyone made a harmless joke about their outfit or favorite color or whatever the fuck.