#call me again in 10 years when i've recovered from this

[its-tea-time-darling]

aahhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIX OF CROWS AU —

Dirtyhands!Teresa x Wraith!Thomas

[feminist-space]

"Joy Spence, 21, said she visited emergency departments at two hospitals in St. John's over the course of nearly two weeks this May.

What began as weakness and abdominal pain on her right side quickly deteriorated into blacking out from the agony in her torso.

But no matter how dire her symptoms got, doctors kept sending her home.

"They would just tell me, 'Your bloodwork's normal, there's nothing we can do.' They would send me home, then same thing again," she said. "I would go back again. They would get me to do the bloodwork, say everything's normal."

Ultrasound and CT scans apparently turned up nothing, but Spence, in such severe pain, says she had no option but to keep returning to the hospital, where she says she was eventually left screaming in a waiting room, ignored by hospital staff.

"If somebody doesn't help me, I'm going to die," she recalls wailing, watching doctors and nurses pass her by.

At one point, she was dismissed outright by a walk-in clinic nurse, she adds.

"Somebody said to me, 'I don't know what you expect me to do,'" she said. "'You're a healthy 21-year-old young female.'"

One night, she says, her boyfriend had to help her into an ambulance. Spence was in so much pain she couldn't stay conscious and stand on her own.

"I remember the man in the ambulance telling me … how often he sees other young women going into the hospital and seeing them be misdiagnosed and not taken seriously," she said, speaking through tears.

"He said that he would do his best to … get things going for me."

Spence says she went to an ER at the Health Sciences Centre or St. Clare's Mercy Hospital about 10 times over a 12-day period, beginning on May 21. She also visited her family doctor, who could do little except tell her to speak directly to the surgeon at Health Sciences Centre, she said.

Each time she saw a doctor, she says, she was sent home and told to dance around her living room or do yoga to cure what physicians believed was anxiety or sluggish bowels.

"I had so many laxatives," Spence recalls. "I would tell them … nothing's even coming out anymore. It's not just this, I don't think. But no, they were dead set on the constipation and only constipation. Like, it can only be that."

...

Spence says doctors only began to take her seriously once she began vomiting in a Health Sciences Centre hallway. The contents of her stomach were green and black.

An older doctor walking past her happened to notice, stopping in his tracks. Spence says he immediately identified the issue as appendicitis.

At that doctor's urging, Spence was finally wheeled into an operating room, where she says her burst appendix — now gangrenous — was removed.

"I think when I walked into the room and they seen a 21-year-old young girl, they immediately dismissed me and thought that there couldn't be anything wrong with me," Spence said.

"I was not on their minds and not on their radar. And if they didn't have that preconceived idea of me, those thoughts wouldn't have been formed and maybe I would have gotten the proper care that I should have."

...

Spence is still struggling to recover from her ordeal. Physically, she's now fine: her appendix was removed and her stitches have healed.

But she's lost an alarming amount of weight, she says, wakes up gasping in the middle of the night and can't stop herself from crying whenever she remembers the hospital.

"I've been losing a lot of hair," she said. "Mentally, it's just been a struggle."

Spence only received an apology from the health authority after CBC News requested comment and confirmed that Spence had done an interview — a move she says felt hollow and frustrating, since the manager who called her didn't give her an explanation about why she was repeatedly ignored while waiting to be admitted.

The ripple effect from her illness, and how she says she was treated when seeking care, has uprooted her life. She's taken a year off her studies in Memorial University's social work program and has lost her job. She's looking for trauma therapy, but now doesn't have the money to pay for it, she says.

"I think as young women we're always told what we're supposed to do, how we're supposed to think, and not to trust our instincts," she said.

"But most of the time … the gut instinct is right. I knew I was sick. I knew what was happening wasn't right, and I could have died if I didn't keep going back to the hospital.

"If I had listened to those doctors and went back home — what could have really happened?""

[hellodropbear]

like she used to

alexia putellas x sister

i have been writing this for ages and it has just sat in my documents folder since january. i don't usually post stuff i write so this will probably get taken down at some point. i've written 13k words so far but this is just the first 4k.

~~~~~~

I hadn't expected to get the call up, not at all really. But Mapi tore her meniscus and apparently the first team found themselves in need of a backup centre back and I was the best option from the B team. It's a compliment, really. Mami is very proud of me and she is excited for me and my sister to play together in a few weeks, even though she is still recovering from her surgery and I will probably not make it off the bench. I am only 15 and 10 months, usually they wait until you are at least 16 and a bit before you can play. 

But, I don't really know how to feel. Thankfully Alexia won't be in training with me for now and I try to avoid thinking about what will happen when she eventually gets better and I have to face her again.

Alexia is my older sister by a lot. There's a 14 year age gap between us and I used to completely and utterly idolise her. She and Alba were two superheroes, always by my side when I needed them. I put them on a pedestal like they were the greatest human beings to ever walk the planet. To me back then, they were. 

I was only four when my father died. All I remember from that time was the big black invisible sheet that hung outside his study and the dark and scary emotions that swallowed our house whole. Alba and Alexia would argue about who got to cuddle me at night and I was so unaware what was happening that I would happily agree, wiping away their tears when it all got too much. 

The death of our father made our family unit stronger. Mami, Ale, Alba and Elena - it was all any of us needed and we supported each other in whatever ways we could. 

Mami had to pick up more shifts at her job, so she couldn't pick me up from school. Alexia had just got her license so she would come in a break during training and pick me up in her training gear. 

Alexia didn't have time to drop me off at home so I would sit and watch the training with whoever wanted to give me company when they were injured. 

Most days, Alba would come and pick me up and take me on the bus all the way home. She would play cartoons on the TV as she sat at the table and did school work. Some days, when she had the time she would sit with me and watch Alexia's training and we'd all go home together. Alba used to say she enjoyed the training. Looking back, I think she just wanted a free ride home and an excuse to not do her homework. 

As I grew up, everything just worked. Alexia and Alba were still living at home as a support to Mami and everything was perfect. My sisters were my idols, my Mami was my shining star. She still is. She would do anything for her daughters, as long as it meant we were all happy. 

That is why it has been so hard for her over the past two years. 

I have not been happy, not really. My football has been thriving, I have represented my country in the under 17 age group and I am a consistent starter in the Barcelona B team. I spent two years in La Masia before they sent me to the B team last year and I have only been improving since. Everything is going well. Mami says I have had a better start to my career than Alexia did. 

Maybe that is why Alexia hates me. Maybe Mami is just saying that to make me feel better about it.

Alexia and I, despite the 14 year age gap, were always inseparable - for the first 12 years of my life. She was at every single school event, football game, she picked me up from trainings when she could and would train me herself in the garden. We shared a common passion that Alba was not interested in at all - we both love football, we eat, sleep and breath it. Football is everything. She was the one who gave me that mentality. 

"Football is life, Lena, you are lucky you are so good because now you also get to live football and hermanita, it is the most incredible thing." 

She had whispered that to me when I was 11. We were sat on the beach, a place we visited frequently throughout my childhood, both of us staring out at the reflection of the moon on the sea. Alba was fast asleep, her head in Alexia's lap as she snored lightly, completely oblivious to our conversation. 

It all fell apart over three years ago, although I don't have the first clue as to why. 

It was not an explicit event that ruined everything, more my older sister growing up and flying the nest that was so secure and established over years and years of shared success, happiness, failure and grief. She moved out of home long before that, but her split with Jenni upset her, I think, a great deal. I wouldn't know because she didn't really tell me anything - that was strictly Alba's business. 

I didn't even know they had broken up until 5 months after it actually happened. 

"Mami, why does Jenni never come over any more?" 

It was an innocent and normal question, but the look on my mother's face told me everything. Everything about Jenni and everything about my sister. 

I think that was the first knock. She hadn't done anything wrong but I had loved Jenni and Jenni had loved me. I would have thought that she would have told me they broke up. Maybe she didn't want to, maybe she just forgot. She does a lot of that these days. 

Before she and Jenni broke up, she still came to all of my games. She never missed one game before I transferred to La Masia and would insist on taking me out to ice cream after every one. She would tease me for not scoring like she does, even though I play as a centre back. 

"You need some training from Mapi, she is a centre back and has the most lethal free kick, hermanita! She is the best defender I have played with, but don't tell her I said that. I think you will grow up to be better than her." 

She was excited that day, I had made a few good saves and I think that was the first time she really saw that I had the potential to be great. 

I remember the first game she was late to. I noticed immediately but we both pretended she was on time - she only made it to the last 10 minutes but I put it down as traffic or being caught up at training. She was busy, it takes a lot to be La Reina. 

I remember the first game she missed entirely. She wasn't there at the beginning and she wasn't there at the end. I was 13 and I didn't have a phone yet so I couldn't call Mami and ask her to come pick me up because Alexia was too busy. I told myself it was because she was too busy. I didn't want to say she had forgotten because that was too hard for me to handle. 

I remember vividly sitting outside the stadium as the sun set. My coach had asked where my sister was, I was a bit stuck with what to say but I managed to convince her I was fine and she could go home. 

Alba came and picked me up after work that night. It was dark and she looked sad but when I asked if she was ok, she just shrugged her shoulders and said everything would be fine. 

I found out from Mami a few weeks later that Alba was sad because I had never once been forgotten anywhere. Alba saw that as the destruction of our strong family. I suppose she was not wrong. 

Alexia never said anything about that game but she was at the next. She didn't take me out for ice cream after, instead patting my head and telling me she would drop me off at Mami's work. 

"I have things to do, Elena, I am very busy. Hopefully soon Mami will let you catch the bus on your own. Maybe Alba can take you soon so you know the correct routes." 

Her words hurt more than I could admit to myself, I told myself to stop being pathetic. Mami asked why I was crying when I walked into her office. I told her I had played terribly and she comforted me. I think she knew I was lying. I think that is why she had tears in her eyes when she released me from her grip-like hold.

Since that day, Alexia has been to 3 of my games. She went to one more of my old club games but she was sat beside Alba, her eyes glued to her phone the entire match. I was so unfocused that the ball deflected off my face and we conceded. I was taken off with a bleeding nose but when I looked up in the stands, my sister was still staring at her phone. Alba had run down the stairs and was by my side when I entered the little sick bay. 

I cried then too. Most people thought it was because of the bleeding nose or the conceded goal. Alba knew that wasn't the real reason. 

The penultimate game she watched was the final of the under 15s Catalonia cup. I don't know what she did during the game because Mami told me not to look up. She said she didn't want me to get distracted but I think she meant to say she didn't want me to get hurt. 

I think I still idolised Alexia at that point in time. She was still my older sister and she was still the best player in the world. She still had weekly dinners at home, although she wouldn't sit next to me and sneakily take all the food I didn't want off my plate anymore. She stopped staying to watch a movie after dinner even though my favourite part of the week was falling asleep in her lap as her hands combed softly through my hair. 

I remember when I was accepted into La Masia, Mami held a nice big dinner. It was right in the middle of covid so it was technically illegal, but we had a lot of my family over. Mami invited a few of the Barcelona girls as well and Mapi and Leila reminded me of what it used to be like before Alexia stopped loving me. 

The reminder of the before was more painful than I liked to admit, and the night ended when the tears that had been burning in the back of my eyes finally spilled out as I was talking to Mapi. 

She immediately pulled me into her arms and asked what was wrong and I struggled to find a lie that would be believable. 

I settled on saying I was upset about everything changing - which I suppose was true. 

I remember Alexia looking mortified and breaking eye contact as soon as I looked at her. She told me off that evening when Mami was in the shower and Alba was talking to someone else. She told me I needed to be grateful for everything I have been given and that she paved the way for me. 

It was even worse when she said I would never achieve the things she has. She said it was because I didn't have the mentality that she did, that I had it all so easy. 

It hurt the most when she told me she was disappointed in the person I was. 

"I hope we never share a shirt, Elena, because the day you play in the first Barcelona team is the day that we have run out of players. It will mean that football players are week and female footballers can not be weak. You do not have it in you to be like me, to do what I have done to get to where I am."

The venom in her voice sent a cold shiver down my spine and I felt like I had been stabbed. I didn't cry that time. I waited until I was in my bedroom to sob my heart out. 

The last time she ever watched me play was the next day, but she didn't have an option not to. I played terribly, my first game as a La Masia student, my sisters words repeating over and over in my head. 

That was really what tipped the relationship I once shared with Alexia on its head. The pedestal I had put her on was destroyed and suddenly she was just another player. I barely saw her as my sister any more. She couldn't love me, you wouldn't be able to hurt someone you love so much. 

I have barely seen her since. She still comes to our family dinners on Thursday nights - she still very much loves Alba and our Mami. But I tell Mami that I have training with Barcelona B late on Thursdays. It finishes at 6 and dinner starts at 7, but I just organise to go to my friends' houses for dinner instead. 

Sometimes we both have dinner together at home, but it is awkward and I hate it. I think she has probably forgotten about what she said to me in June of 2021, but I don't think I will ever be able to. 

She doesn't like me, but it's ok because I have learnt to accept that. But I will never not love my sister because she was once everything to me. 

~~~~~~

"Pequena Putellas!" Patri's excited shriek is what welcomes me into the dressing room on my first day. She tackles me into a hug and squeezes me tight. "It has been such a long time, mi favorita!" 

The last time I saw Patri was only last year at the champions league final. I had sat with my whole family but I went to the bathroom when everyone else went and spoke to the players. I don't think Patri would have seen me. 

I can only smile as she continues. 

"I remember you as the little 8 year old who would sit and watch our training sessions after school! I was so confused by you when I first arrived here, you know. I remember the first time Ale let you play a game with us and you were so good!" 

"Nobody doubted that you would be on this team one day!" A new voice entered the conversation.

"Marta!" I hugged the brunette closely. She was always one of my favourites. 

"I am proud of you, pequena putellas." 

Her words are familiar as I have heard them out of my mothers voice time and time again my whole life. But they seem foreign coming from Marta and it is an unwanted reminder of my sister. I don't know why - maybe it is because I have always associated this Barcelona team with her. I don't remember the last time she said she was proud of me. 

I don't remember the last time she said anything to me, really. 

"Gracias, Marta, I have missed you." I bury my head into her neck and she holds me closer. 

"You have not been around as much since you transferred to La Masia. I wanted to come and watch but Ale never extended an invitation and I didn't want to overstep." I shake my heads at her words and she frowns. 

"Alexia doesn't have time for my games, she hasn't for a while. It takes a lot to be La Reina." 

Marta's frown deepens at my words and the attention of a few spanish players is captured. I should have spoken quieter, I forgot how many people in here speak catalan. 

"It is ok, she is very supportive, but she just can't come to my games. She makes it up in other ways." I am lying through my teeth but Marta will never know. 

"I am sure, she must be very proud of you, being selected in this team for the first time, it is a big deal, you are very young."

All I can do is nod, my energy is all being put into holding back my own tears. I don't know if Mami told her. I don't know if Alexia even knows that I was selected. 

"Get changed now, I am sure Jona will want to talk to you before the session, especially with the game tomorrow."

I nod again as Marta pats me on the back and walk over to the cubby that says my name. It feels a bit surreal, really. 

I never really thought I would see my name on a Barcelona cubby, accompanied by my new number that I chose in the meeting a few days ago. It was always a dream, but I never thought it was achievable. Alexia always seemed like a superstar, a superhuman of sorts and I would never reach that kind of level. 

But here I am in the team that I always wanted to be in - in no way am I anywhere near my sisters level but I am on my way to being like her. I just wish she cared. I wish she was proud of me like Marta is. 

Her cubby sits across from me and I try to tear my eyes from it but it sits and stares right back at me. I feel like an intruder in Alexia's space, this is not for me, she would not want me to be here. 

I tie my laces quickly after that and head out onto the pitches to begin training. 

I have trained with the first team twice before, but the Barcelona Bs were always slightly seperate and we could keep our distance from the first players. Jonatan is a familiar face and I feel comfortable as he smiles and me and motions for me to follow the others to the gym. 

It is weird, being promoted within my own club. I am not so much a new signing, but a replacement - I am not good enough to be in the first team but they had no other options when Mapi injured herself. 

I used to worry that people would say I only get opportunities because my last name is Putellas. When my sister told me I was weak all those years ago, that idea sort of cemented in my head, I suppose. 

I never told my Mami what her daughter said to me because it would upset her. I told Alba half of it when she found me crying in my room a few days later but made her promise to not tell anyone. She couldn't say anything to Mami, Alexia, anyone at all because it would only make Alexia think I was weaker. 

She was furious and tried to tell me it was untrue but it had already been said. I believed Alexia's word more than anyone else. To me, she was a superhuman. 

But when I spoke to Jonatan a few days ago he made me feel like I was wanted within this squad. He made it clear that he wants me to integrate completely into the squad in the next few years and that he can see me playing soon even though I am only 15. 

I told him I didn't want anything special because of my surname. 

He told me that he chose me because of my first name. 

"Elena Putellas,"  he said with a grin, "you may be as good as her, but you are not your sister. This is a professional environment. As long as you perform, which I know you will, nobody will care what your name is."

It was a big boost to my confidence. 

Aitana Bonmati caught up to me quickly as I walked to the gym. 

"You are big now." I chuckled but did not look over, I didn't need to really. "But not that big. You are only 15, si?"

"Yes, I am 15." 

I met Aitana when she first joined the club. She always used to say that she would steal me and take me home with her because she thought I was adorable. It is strange that I am now sort of in the same team as her. 

She started playing for the first team when I was 8. I was older then, I played my own football and liked staying with Alexia so I could kick a ball around with her teammates when they were done. 

Aitana was one of the few who would stay every time I was there. When Alexia didn't want to wait she would drive me home herself, all the way to the other side of Barcelona. We would always stop for ice cream on the way home. 

"I have not seen you in too long, Lena. I have missed you a lot but you have been doing very well in the B team. I am very proud and I take credit for your abilities." She spoke in such a dead pan voice but it was somehow still filled with emotion. 

"I have missed you too, ABC." It was a nickname I gave her the first time she drove me home. I had been learning about the alphabet in English class and had the little song stuck in my head when she told me her full name. I used to sing her initials in the tune of the song but it quickly merged to me just saying the three letters. 

"I have been to a few of your games, you know?" 

I look at her in confusion, I have never seen her there. She just nods. 

"Alexia never invited any of us but she was never at the ones I went to so I would sit in the stands with a hat and glasses so people wouldn't recognise me, but I was there. I went to your La Masia games as well. You have become a phenomenal player, Lena."

She has always spoken with such sincerity. I have missed her a lot. 

"Maybe you can drop me off at home again tonight? I have missed you."

She chuckles and pulls me into a side hug. 

"I was waiting for you to ask, little Lena. Oh you are not so little any more!"

I chuckle as well and let my head fall onto her shoulder as we enter the gym. My eyes scan the room, looking at all of the players on their equipment, nerves quickly settling inside me. 

"Don't worry, it's all easy." Aitana seems to read my mind. "Just come with me and I will show you how to do everything. It will become second nature in the next few days."

The gym session went quickly as I was taught all the different exercises. I was familiar with most of them, having done a very similar program in the past with the B team. 

We went out onto the field to do some drills and I played well. Jonatan was impressed and so were the first players. My teammates? Maybe, not quite, I don't think. I still haven't been in a team list, so I suppose I'll be their teammate when that eventually happens. 

It wasn't until we reached the ice cream shop that Aitana started asking me all the awkward questions. I should have seen it coming. 

"Why do you never come to our games anymore, Lena?" I was very grateful for the scoops of gelato in my hands. Eating it delayed my response as I tried to come up with something to say. I shrug as I eat.

I can not say it is because I do not get along with Alexia. It is too hard for me to say now, even after all these years. 

"I'm not sure. I suppose I got busy with my own training and school. I have been to a few but I usually go home with Alba pretty quickly after they finish." It is only half a lie but she just shrugs, apparently not believing my words. 

"And why is it that I am driving you home from your first ever first team training? I thought Alexia would have wanted to." I anticipated a question like this but that does not mean I wanted her to actually ask it. 

"Alexia is busy." I hope that Aitana understands I don't want to talk about it. I haven't spoken about my broken relationship with my sister to anyone. I think she can sense something is wrong though, because she puts her spoon back into her ice cream and grabs my arm so I am staring right at her. 

"If you ever want to talk, I am right here, Lena. I know you don't like people knowing what is going on inside that crazy head of yours but it is good to release your feelings." 

She definitely knows something is wrong so I appreciate her not pushing. 

"I have outlets, I play football, I play the piano, I am ok, aitana, I really am." 

She eyed me as if to say she didn't believe me but dropped the topic anyway. 

"When did you get so good?"

chapter II

[awearywritersworld]

i have for the first time found what i can truly love—i have found you

sukuna x reader summary: you and sukuna go out for a late night meal. gojo finds out about your... relationship. sukuna is forced to take care of you when you come home drunk. w/c: 2.85k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. fluff. lots of banter. cursing. jealous/protective!sukuna. gojo being a flirt. aged up!yuuji. features a teeny bit of yuuji x reader. drinking and drunk!reader. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: i think i like how this turned out! also, the first two sections could def be read as a fluffy lil stand alone. idc whats happening in the canonverse, sukunas just a tsundere who adores us very much<3 series masterlist // masterlist

"maybe if you stare long enough, food will magically appear," sukuna calls to you from the kitchen table.

"this is no joking matter," you scold from your place in front of the fridge. "i'm starving."

"well, here's an absurd idea— let's go eat."

you turn toward him, finally closing the fridge, and tilt your head to the side. "you eat?"

"of course." he leans back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. "i typically prefer babies, but hell, i'd even go for an old man right now. i'm famished."

your eyes widen and your mouth falls open. he lets the panic simmer on your face for a few more cruel moments. "i'm kidding, idiot. i eat food, same as you."

"i knew that," you assert. the way your shoulders sag in relief tells him otherwise.

"right," he smirks. after standing up, he grabs your purse and tosses it in your direction. "where to? you're buying."

with only so many places open at midnight, you begin your journey to a 24 hour ramen shop.

you've hardly interacted with sukuna outside of your apartment, so this is certainly an experience you didn't anticipate. and in fact, you're shocked at how normal it feels— almost as if it's a date.

as you walk down the street, people eye him suspiciously because of the dark lines they assume are tattoos. it doesn't bother you though, nor does the lateness of the hour. you know that you're safe because you're with him.

your hands keep brushing against one another's, and you're hoping that he'll eventually take a hint and reach for yours. he doesn't (i mean come on, do you even know who you're dealing with?).

he does at least pick up on your pouty expression with impressive ease. "what now?"

"nothing," you huff.

"don't be a brat."

you sigh dramatically. "you're supposed to hold my hand."

"sure princess," he says condescendingly, lacing his fingers through yours. "maybe use your words next time like a big girl."

he doesn't fail to notice the ensuing skip in your step, and he kicks himself for regarding it as cute.

when you arrive at the ramen shop, sukuna orders no less than three bowls, which earns him a glare once the waitress walks away.

"when i agreed to pay, i didn't know what a glutton you are."

"oh yeah? cause i'm just the picture of temperance any other time?"

you scoff. "well you've got me there."

a sly smirk settles onto his face before he speaks again. "maybe one day you'll learn how greedy i am when it comes to the things i've deemed pleasurable."

you choke on the water you'd just brought to your lips, your face heating up as if it'd been bathed by fire.

wiping at your mouth, you try your best to recover quickly. "whatever, you hellion. as long as that doesn't involve a fourth bowl of ramen."

you're no more than 10 steps away from the shop when you hold out your hand to him. "ahem."

he grabs it roughly and not without rolling his eyes.

"what?" you ask innocently. "that was a word."

"hardly," he jeers. "for as much as you read, i'd expect you to be more fluent than a child."

"and at 1000 years old, i'd expect you to be more charming than a teenage boy, but i guess we're both making concessions."

"see, this is the part that puzzles me. you never seem to have trouble with your words when you're being insolent."

"maybe it's a sign," you begin whimsically. "the universe decided you need to be taken down a peg."

"ah, yes. you as the executor of the universe's will. i don't know why i couldn't see it before."

you giggle, rather delighted that he's elected to play along with your quips. there's something that feels so warm and pleasant about it.

as you wonder if he feels it too, your hand tightens around his.

you're not quite ready to head back to your apartment just yet, because you're scared you'll lose the atmosphere surrounding the two of you. in truth, it's a bit intoxicating.

the perfect opportunity arises when you spot a small park up ahead. lights are strung around the trees, all of which are situated around a small fountain.

"we should stop at that park!" you hardly finish speaking before you take off in that direction, tugging him along behind you.

after you plop down on the fountain's ledge, sukuna takes his place beside you.

"let's sit here for a little while."

he doesn't respond and you take his silence as agreement. he's not really one to stifle his grievances.

as the minutes pass, the rush of the fountain is the only noise that fills the air, while you gaze at the trees with a serene expression.

sukuna, however, is looking at you. the only care he has for the trees is the way their lights reflect in your eyes. otherwise, he's fully occupied by the curve of your nose and the fullness of your lips.

"isn't this pretty?" you finally ask.

"it's pretty," he agrees, even when such a soft word feels foreign on his tongue.

his eyes still haven't left you, and you seem to be oblivious to this fact until he reaches up to stroke your cheek with the back of fingers.

when your gaze lands on him, the fondness written all over his face catches you off guard and you realize how close the both of you are. without really thinking about it, you lean into his touch.

"very pretty," he repeats lowly, as if he's talking to himself.

your heart lurches once in your chest, then hammers away at your ribcage without respite. he leans toward you a fraction of an inch, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a brief second.

truthfully, sukuna has never felt the way he does in this moment. it's a sincere sort of desire. he doesn't want the mindless devotion he once thirsted for from his followers. and he doesn't want the sex he used to crave from his concubines.

no. he just wants you— in whatever capacity you're willing to have him.

the way he's looking at you is just too much. there's a dull thudding in your ears and you swear your thoughts are moving at a million miles a minute.

so naturally, you blurt out the first thing you can manage. "we should take a selfie!"

his face shifts from whatever that expression was to one of confusion. "take a selfie?"

some twisted mix of relief and disappointment crashes through you.

"yeah, a selfie. a picture together. ya know, since the park is so pretty," you ramble.

he pulls away from you. not all the way, but enough that it gives you space to finally breath. he chuckles and it doesn't sound lofty like it so often does. in fact, he seems genuinely amused by you.

"a selfie," he deliberates. "that sounds great, but to the best of my knowledge, hell hasn't frozen over."

and just like that, your dynamic feels like it did during your walk from the ramen shop to the park— comfortable and fun.

"well i guess you would be one of the first to know."

ignoring his protests, you take out your phone and hold it far enough away that the camera captures both of your faces. you can see on the screen that he's put on an expression of complete boredom.

"c'mon," you nudge him with your elbow. "you look like you hate me."

the corner of his mouth curves upward. "that's because i do."

you think back on the way he was gazing at you just moments ago and laugh. "you're so full of shit."

then, without warning, you press a kiss to his cheek and click the button.

you decide that his vague look of contented surprise will just have to do.

when you and yuuji walk into the bar, you immediately spot one of the people you're there to meet. he's sitting at a hightop by himself, his snow white hair pretty hard to miss.

you tap his shoulder and his face breaks out into a grin. he slides out of the barstool. "if it isn't my favorite civilian!"

as he pulls you into a hug, you wonder if he's ever going to get tired of that joke. "if it isn't my favorite old man."

"35 is not old," he argues, moving to greet yuuji. "i'm still in the summer of my life, thank you very much!"

"gojo you're 36," the pink haired man remarks.

"gah! such betrayal, yuuji!" he presses his hand to his forehead and takes a deep breath. "now i'm going to need another round."

"i'll go and get drinks for all of us," you offer. "you two stay here so no one takes the table."

before either of them can respond, you turn and begin making your way through the crowd. you don't hear gojo when he calls out, "but darling! i should go with you!"

he takes a step in your direction, but stops when sukuna's mouth appears on yuuji's cheek. "you certainly should not, you insufferable half wit."

"relax, dude. he flirts with literally everyone," yuuji informs him.

gojo scoffs. "i am right here—"

"as if that makes it better?" sukuna barks. "she isn't some toy to be played with."

"of course she isn't! you can't honestly think i'd believe otherwise."

gojo is left forgotten for a moment as the other two bicker, so he interjects once there's a lull in the conversation. "do either of you care to explain what the hell is going on?"

yuuji turns toward him, trying and failing to hide the embarrassment on his face once he realizes that gojo is, in fact, still standing there.

his eyebrows are raised above his sunglasses and it's clear he is inappropriately amused by the situation (what else is new?). he moves to sit across from the younger man, looking at him expectantly.

having no way to talk himself out of this, yuuji relays the recent events regarding you and sukuna, sparing some of the finer details. gojo's face doesn't really betray much emotion throughout the story, though he does look thoughtful by the end of it.

leaning forward, he crosses his arms on top of the table. "maybe your feelings for her are influencing his own, forcing a sort of bond between them?"

"i don't think so," yuuji contends honestly. "other than her, you're the person i admire and respect the most, but he thinks—"

"that you are perhaps the most imbecilic rampallion i've ever had the displeasure of coming across."

gojo jerks back, as if the insult had hit him squarely in the jaw. the look of giddiness from yuuji's compliment, followed by the shift to indignation at sukuna's insult is almost comical.

he stretches his neck forward, cupping his hand around one side of his mouth as if it'd keep sukuna from hearing. "what'd he just call me?"

yuuji shrugs. "beats me, but i don't think he was singing your praises."

"i see your point." gojo pauses, glancing over his shoulder. you're approaching the table, so he turns back to yuuji and quickly adds, "we'll talk more about this another time, but for now, keep this between us."

a few moments later, you appear in front of them and exclaim, "look who i found!"

megumi and inumaki situate themselves around the table too, offering their greetings. you slide yuuji and gojo their drinks, both of which are filled to the brim of the glass. "now then gentlemen, shall we?"

when gojo teleports you and yuuji back to your apartment that night, it takes everything in you to keep from yakking all over your carpet.

"ta ta, hooligans!"

you turn to request that he never do that again, but he's already gone. taking one step forward, you promptly fall on your ass in the entryway with an unforgiving thud. yuuji staggers toward the couch, making it there just in time to face plant into the cushions.

looking down toward your shoes, you're dismayed to find that each one appears to have two sets of laces. you're fumbling with them determinedly when someone crouches down in front of you, their elbows resting on their thighs.

he doesn't say a word. brushing your hands away, he unties your shoes and carefully pulls them off your feet. you're lifted from the floor before you can register the arm that's looped under your knees or the other that's securely around your back.

"careful," you hiccup, your head falling into the crook of his neck. "'m gunna p-puke."

"i'd rather you didn't."

you groan. "s'not like i 'ave a choice in the matter."

he hums. "how much did you drink?"

"dunno. sss'much. nobara—" you hiccup again. "nobara n' maki made me."

he chuckles, placing you down on what you figure is your bed. "right, i'm sure you had no choice in the matter."

"tha's correct, yes."

unbuttoning your jeans, he tugs upward on your belt loops. "lift."

you do as he says, lifting your hips from the bed so he can slide your jeans off your legs. he knows you won't remember this— hell, your eyes are already closed— but he looks away as he does it anyway.

pulling your phone from your pocket and putting it on the charger, your pants are discarded off to the side. he only turns his head back in your direction once he's pulled the blankets up over your body.

"tuck me in?" you request.

sitting down on the bed beside you, he does so without protest.

he stares at you for a little while, worried about how poorly you're probably going to feel in the morning. he presses a kiss to your forehead, intending to get up and grab a water bottle for your nightstand.

instead, his body freezes when he hears you mumble, "i love you s'much."

his heart clenches so painfully, he honestly considers ripping it from his chest— it would probably be less agonizing.

but a thought that makes him feel like a fool occurs to him. of course it's not him that you love. "i'm not yuuji."

"well, duuuhhh. you're s'kuna." you're peering up at him through tired, hazy eyes. it's the first time you've ever seen him look bewildered, so a small giggle erupts from your throat. "s'okay. you don't 'ave t'say it back."

your eyes flutter shut and your breathing evens out before he even thinks to respond. all at once, it's as if his head is empty and as if it's about to explode.

love?

what does he know about love? it's a sentiment he's cursed for so long, but sitting here beside you, he can't quite seem to remember why. one thing he is sure of, however, is that there's never been a thing in the world he's loved.

suddenly, he's struck with remembrance of a quote from jane eyre you had emphasized with messy underlines:

"after a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude, i have for the first time found what i can truly love—i have found you. you are my sympathy—my better self—my good angel. i am bound to you with a strong attachment. i think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you, and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one."

rochester says it as he begs jane to stay at thornfield with him, an act sukuna had previously regarded as ridiculous, but is that still the case?

were you to ever scorn him, would he fall to his knees and plead with you to change your mind? or if you were in danger of dying, would he drag himself to a shrine and pray to the gods he doesn't believe in?

is that what love is?

could he stand to be apart from you? are you special to him? does anything else in the world compare to you? does he seek out your company? is he consumed by you? can he know himself without knowing you?

does the definition of love lie in those questions?

sukuna hopes not, because he's terrified of the answers. being in love is not his way, nor is it in his nature.

he buries his face in his hands as realization settles into his bones. it feels as if they're splintering beneath the pressure, trying resentfully to stave it off.

he transcends any imaginable scale of power. he's bled entire villages dry, he's commandeered death, he's the king of curses.

so why now? and why you? is it divine retribution? a sick sort of joke that even he couldn't have dreamed up?

gods, you were right. the universe has sent you to carry out its will and he's completely powerless to stop it.

the worst part of it all? he doesn't want to.

taglist: @96jnie @ay0nha @sad-darksoul @bbysatoruuu @luciiferian @thepup356 @risuola *users in bold could not be tagged

[w2soneshots]

Hate -W2S

words: 0.7k+

warnings: angst with happy ending, break up, mention of drug use, social media hate.

summary: you and Harry go through a break up and the fans aren’t kind about it.

Liked by y/nfanpage21 and 7,674 others

sidemenupdates: y/n seen today for the first time since her and Harrys breakup!

-comments-

y/nfanpage21: She's so pretty🤍

user98025639: I hope they get back together :(

ihatey/n: I'm so glad they broke up Harry deserved so much better than her

user46807521: I hate her

Since me and Harry broke up a few weeks ago I’ve been receiving an obnoxious amount of hate. I would usually just ignore it, but while trying to recover from a difficult break up (especially since we were together for three years) It has started to get to me. I got a call from Talia who I've kept in good contact with. "hey babe, how are you?" She asked once I accepted the call. "Im alright." I said. "are you free today?" She asked. "Um- ye?" I replied. "Im coming over I’ll be there in 20." She said and before I could say anything she ended the call.

I quickly tidied up my apartment, threw on a sweat set and brushed my hair into a ponytail. Talia arrived outside my apartment just under 20 minutes later along with a bag of groceries. She immediately brought me into a hug then went over to my kitchen and started unpacking the food. "You didn't have to do all this T." I said. "Are you kidding, I’m your best friend. You did the same for me when me and Simon were on a break." she said and continued to fill up the fridge. I smiled "well, thank you." She smiled back at me and said "right, let's go." My brows furrowed "what, go where?" I asked. "Shopping."

We spent the rest of the day buying new clothes and we also had some lunch. I thanked Talia profusely for taking my mind off of everything and cheering me up, but she joked saying "I just needed an excuse to by some more clothes and Simon is really boring to shop with." which made me laugh. She dropped me off outside my apartment and I made my way through the building while carrying multiple bags of clothes and new makeup.

Once I put everything away I made myself some dinner with the food that Talia brought me. After eating I sat watching Friends when I got a phone call from Freezy. "Hello?" I said through the phone. "y/n, listen we've tried everything but he's in a really bad place. I- I think he's been using again." I sighed "I'll be over in 10." I said. "See you then."

Just like I said I was at their apartment in just over 10 minutes. The door was unlocked so I opened it to see Cal (Freezy) sat on the sofa "thanks for coming, I know he's not really your responsibility anymore." he said. "I still care for him though Cal." I said and he nodded. I made my way towards his room soon after. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

He lay on the bed asleep in a pair of sidemen joggers and hoodie. "Harry?" I whispered and placed my hand on his shoulder, rubbing it lightly. He stirred slightly and mumbled "fuck off Cal." I sighed "Haz, It's me y/n." He immediately lifted his head to look at me. He didn't waste a second by pushing himself off the bed and pulling me into a tight hug. I could hear him sobbing slightly and my heart sank "shh, Im here, shh." I whispered rocking us back and forth lightly. "Im so sorry." he whispered into my neck. I just gave him a squeeze and then he pulled away. "I want to give it another go, I'll make time for you, I- I promise." he said. Me and Harry broke up because I felt like we weren't spending enough time together, were both very busy but I felt like he wasn't really trying anymore.

I nodded silently. "I realised the past couple of days how much I need you and all the things you do for me, I just- I- I understand if you don't want that but-" I cut him off by pulling him into a kiss. "I wouldn't want anything more." I said smiling.

[hidden-for-reg]

july 3: boggart | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 654

*surgeon x patient au*

previous part, part one

When James had stepped into Regulus' room he hadn't been ready at all. Regulus had been avidly texting Evan and wasn't prepared at all for James of all people to just saunter in his room. He hadn't even knocked. As a result, Regulus jumped with a start, clutching his chest. He relaxed, but only slightly, when he saw it was James who had interrupted his gossip session with Evan. Regulus hastily turned his phone off, mentally willing Evan not to blow up his notifications while he was busy talking to James. Evan had a habit for freaking out if Regulus didn't respond within 10 seconds. Quite similar to how Barty would freak out if Regulus didn't show him enough love.

A package deal from the beginning, Evan and Barty were Regulus' best friends, annoying as they may be in their own, unique ways each. Evan and Barty had been dating for a solid 3 years, although those 3 years had more than a few break ups and get-back-togethers. Regulus was pretty sure though that despite their overdramatic tendencies, Evan and Barty really did love each other. Pandora and Regulus even had a bet going for who would propose first. 

Regulus raised an eyebrow at James. "Obviously no one's ever taught you to knock?" He rolled his eyes, fighting the tiny smile that was threatening to dawn on his lips. "You scared me like a boggart, James."

James didn't respond to Regulus' quips, he simply went to stand at the foot of his bed, wearing another one of his stupid, dazzling grins. He fluttered his eyelashes just slightly, and Regulus hated that his heart did a flutter at the same time. "You paged?" James asked, voice coated in honey. 

Regulus stiffened just slightly, making a desperate, last-ditch attempt to fix his into something neutral. "Y-Yes." Regulus internally screamed at himself for his stutter. "I've decided I want the surgery."

"That's all you paged me for? Just to tell me that?"

"Yes." Regulus swallowed. For some reason, he wanted nothing more than to drag James closer. But he also wished for James to just leave. Regulus was annoyed with himself and was afraid he might take that out on James. "You can leave now."

James laughed and Regulus could've choked on the sound. "Actually, I have to stay and give you information about getting the surgery," he replied, coming around to sit next to Regulus on his bed. Regulus moved over instinctively without even thinking about what he was doing. He felt his face flush when James' leg brushed against his own. 

"Well, get on with it then," Regulus answered stiffly. 

"The surgery is called Open Reduction and Internal Fixation. In the surgery I'll be setting the bone fractures with some screws. We'll be doing this as soon as possible to try to prevent any further injuries," James told him. 

Regulus nodded. He wasn't really listening due to the... distraction right in front of him.

"After the surgery though, it could take anyway from 3 months to a year for you to recover," James continued, "your knee is gonna hurt, be swollen, and stiff. You might need a brace for it, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there, love. You'll be needing some physical therapy and you won't be able to drive for about 6 weeks."

Regulus absentmindedly nodded again. He hadn't caught a single word.

"Oh, and you'll also be needing a pair of crutches," James added. He poked the tip of Regulus' nose, drawing him back to the present and out of yet another fantasy, where he may or may not have a starring role. "You still with me, Reg?"

Regulus blinked. "Um, yes." Blinked again. "Don't call me that."

"Okay, Reggie," James smiled again when the other boy scowled. "Now, I've got to tell you about the possible complications."

Regulus nodded. It might not hurt to try to focus this time.

next part

[outrunningthedark]

It seems to me neither Tim nor the other writers know who Eddie is beyond the single dad with the dead wife and Buddie. I love Eddie, he's a fantastic character but it seems no one knows what to do with him because they built his whole identity around his marriage and his best friend and now they don't know how else to write him

Gonna cosign something I've seen @unfuckablebogtroll mention in recent days. As much as 911 fandom loves to talk about story lines that could happen in season 9, 10, and beyond, we're seeing what happens when networks allow prime time dramas to extend beyond an obvious expiration date just for the sake of claiming the #1 demo on a given night. We've gotten insight into Eddie's marriage and what brought him to LA as a single dad. We watched his (estranged) wife die literally right in front of him. We saw how he handled the initial grief and disbelief via the fighting arc. But we also saw him bounce back and end the season in a better place. Season four brought us Eddie finally attempting to date again. Eddie gets shot on the job. Eddie recovers (physically). Season five? Covered A LOT of ground. Eddie breaks up with Ana, gets held hostage (to add to the PTSD arc later), decides to quit the 118, starts a new job with dispatch, has his breakdown, finds himself on the road to recovery, and finally gets the all clear to go back to the firehouse. And don't forget season five was when Eddie started mending things with his father, too. Last year was not as Eddie-centric, but we still got a couple more scenes of Eddie in Dad Mode - without Buck's help - and a little background on his family (Isabel trying to speak to her husband after he passed through a "healer" and how it turned Eddie into a skeptic because of all the money she lost) before the (albeit rushed) dating arc that led to calling Marisol in the finale. And now it's season seven. Tim doesn't want Marisol to be endgame, but keeping Eddie single for the majority of the season wasn't gonna move anything along, so what's the quick fix? Reintroducing unresolved feelings about Shannon via Kim despite season six already moving past that (which is why having two show runners at two different times was never going to work as far as consistency is concerned). Which brings us to...this very moment. I would assume the Shannon plot isn't fully finished unless the hiatus is going to motivate everyone to skip right over the steps Eddie takes to adjust to his new lifestyle, but even so, when that part of his story is complete (again)? Where do they go from here? What's left? (They don't seem to know.)

[cowboylikeyouu]

avengers interstellar AU

since i've seen it in theaters last night i can't stop thinking about writing an avengers/winterhawk interstellar AU and i feel like it's eating me from the inside, so i'm just gonna throw all my ideas at you. spoiler warnings for interstellar and a fanfiction i'll probably never write (having some interstellar knowledge is recommend lol i'm not explaining any of the movie aspects)

it's not gonna be as angsty as actual interstellar bc i can't do main character death for the life of me, i'm gonna ignore a lot of science bc i'm stupid and it's gonna be heavily winterhawk focused bc i'm insufferable, but here we go:

the world is ending and has been for years due to the blight and everything, yap yap yap you know the deal. the avengers basically just were a team of super talented scientists and engineers and test pilots, doing a lot of research for years and also dealing with some international shit or smth idk and it doesn't really matter. the team doesn't exist anymore bc they're not needed anymore, with food becoming the most dominant problem and everything, again, yk the deal. so most of them decide to retire from shield/nasa work and become farmers/etc.

nasa is doing the lazarus missions tho, and who volunteers? 10 people who don't really matter to the story (just like in the movie), steve (bc he's steve goddamn, ofc he's gonna volunteer to go on a suicide mission to possibly save humanity) and nat (bc she's rational, + she knows clint's probably gonna settle down with bucky somewhere (they've been in that "we fuck and spend almost every minute together, and we're so obviously in love but too scared to talk about it" stage for years), so she knows she won't be needed anymore bla bla)

clint's devastated about nat leaving, but she's like "enjoy your time as a farmer and when fury asks you to travel through spacetime to rescue us in a decade, you better be married to bucky's ass, idiot".

bucky's angry with steve for leaving but not surprised, and he's like "don't you dare die out there or i will walk through that goddamn wormhole just to kill you again"

tony's super pissy with steve for leaving, but doesn't show up to say goodbye or anything bc they're not really on speaking terms (they had an affair that was obviously much more than that during the period when tony and pepper had broken up, but then something civil war-like happened, and they're still angry at each other bc of that, and now tony's with pepper again, but there's obviously still a lot of unresolved stuff going on between them ykyk.

regarding steve & bucky: pretty sure i'll make them both the same age as everyone else, so no "frozen/held captive by hydra for 70 year" business, but i still need them to be supersoldiers. so maybe steve still volunteered for the experiment, and maybe he even became some kind of captain america (but an astronaut-version of him???), and bucky still got the not-so-good super-serum thingy and was held captive by hydra, but "only" for a couple of years, before he was rescued and joined the avengers.

again, all of that's not that important, the only relevant thing is that bucky got the serum and that it slows his aging process significantly.

whoo, lots of exposition sorry. that was basically just the prologue.

fast forward, 6-10 years, idk. pepper and tony had morgan, but pepper died of cancer (and i HATE nothing more than killing of a woman for an mlm ship, but seeing as cooper's wife in interstellar died as well, forcing him to leave behind his kids without a mom, i think it's a valid plot point for once). clint took bucky with him to his parent's old farm, they had peaceful couple of years, both recovering from trauma yap yap yap, they're happy alright (and officially together bc this is NOT a winterhawk slowburn).

then they all get a call form fury tho, being like "hey guys, sooo steve's, nat's and [random third character's] worlds look promising, wanna travel through the wormhole and check those planets out lolol???", and they obviously don't want to, but they all knew that day would come, so clint, bucky, tony and someone else (haven't decided who, bc that person's gonna be the one who dies on the water-planet thingy close to gargantua, so that's a hard decision to make) become the endurance team and set off into space.

and here's the thing: tony's on the mission bc he wants to save the life of morgan and especially her potential future kids and OFC bc he has a tiny hope of seeing steve again. clint's on the mission bc with bucky on the ship as well, there's nothing keeping him on earth, + the tiny chance of seeing nat again. bucky's on the mission for all of those reasons, but there's another factor for him, and that's time dilation.

he's a couple of years older than clint, but due to his slow aging, their body's are pretty much at the same stage already if u know what i mean, and while clint's relatively chill about it bc "hey man, you still gonna look sexy as fuck when i'm a bald old man, i'm so lucky", bucky's freaking out over it.

he's well aware of the time dilation caused by gargantua, so his plan is to be the one to stay behind on the ship while the others fly down to the planet on its horizon, and to NOT put himself into hypersleep for all these years, so that when clint and the others come back, he's gonna have a few physical years on clint again. his thought process is kinda like "i'd rather spent 20 years alone on a spaceship with the knowledge that clint is probably alive and i will see him again, than to watch him die of old age and keep living on my own for another 50 years". it's kinda stupid, but that's love for you guys.

so yeah, they travel through the wormhole, clint, tony, and [random fourth character] go down to the planet on gargantua's horizon, clint's convinced bucky's just gonna sleep for 7 years bc that's what sane people do, [random fourth character] dies, tony and clint have to stay down there an hour longer due to the water damage on the ranger, yap yap you know the deal, they go up again and BOOM: they've been gone for 23 years and bucky spent all those years alone and awake and looks 10 years older than before they left. many emotions for both of them "fuck yes clint, you're alive, i fucking missed human contact", and "jesus christ bucky you put yourself through this for me and" and "JESUS CHRIST bucky you put yourself through this FOR ME?????"

anyways, next stop is steve's planet. good news: steve's alive, bad news: the planet isn't a suitable candidate for a new world. the obvious new plan is to go check out nat's world bc it's quite literally their last chance. tony - now that they already "wasted" 25 years on this mission and found steve alive - really just wants to go back to earth tho and see morgan again. he knows that clint and bucky won't agree to that tho, so he kinda manipulates steve into getting on a ranger and flying up to the endurance again, leaving clint and bucky behind on steve's planet. don't be too angry with him, he just wants to see his daughter again, alright :,)

neither steve nor tony are exceptional pilots tho, (that's clint's fucking job), so they don't manage the docking process. bc this isn't a main character death angst fic, they don't die in an explosion like dr. mann did in interstellar, they just cause the endurance to spin rapidly, and then kinda float next to it in their ranger being like "well shit". clint and bucky come in with steve's old lander to save the day, and clint manages to dock onto the spinning spaceship (like cooper does in the movie) and stops it, and then talks tony and steve through the docking process on another point of the ship (the endurance, the rangers, and the landers all work the way i want and need them too btw, idc about accuracy when it comes to this kinda shit lol i just want them all to survive)

when they're all safe on the ship again, they talk it through. the endurance + 1 lander HAVE to go to nat's planet, it's the point of the entire mission, but clint's a self-sacrificing idiot, so obviously he wants tony and steve to have a chance of going back to earth. they load up on lander with enough fuel to take steve and tony back through the wormhole (they're not sure if the lander can withstand it, but it's the only way), from where it should be possibly to contact earth again, so that someone could get them.

clint tells bucky that they have enough resources and enough fuel to get them both to nat's planet safely, which is a lie, but bucky trusts him bc they're in love, man.

clint does the iconic slingshot-around-gargantua-or-whatever manoeuvre to give the endurance the boost it needs to reach nat's planet, and he also does the iconic "yeah, i'm just gonna load up one of the rangers with one of the robots (the robots are FRIDAY and JARVIS btw) and let it fall into black hole to hopefully gather some data, but then i also let myself fall into it without telling you beforehand" move, bc they need to lose the weight and there aren't enough resources for both of them.

he's like "this is paypack for your aging dick move, say hello to nat for me" and then he's gone. ouch.

then there's the whole black hole shit, with the 4th dimension tesseract and the data from the black hole that i don't really give a shit about rn tbh lol. the "solving the gravitation equation" problem won't be a huge part of the plot anyways, bc yes, it's an important factor to this story's universe in general, but i really just wanna focus on bucky and clint in the fic, so idc. it's all kinda happening in the background.

clint sends the data to earth in morse code like cooper does in the movie - tho idk yet if he sends it to a now much older morgan, or peter parker (who's kinda tony's mentally adopted son btw) or directly to tony, who made it back to earth safely. idk. like i said, doesn't really matter. the tesseract collapses, clint's gets picked up by stark station that they were able to build bc of the data he send them, all is well.

his slingshot manoeuvre around gargantua did cause another time dilation ofc (idk if i'd make it 60+ years like in the movie tho), so maybe tony's already dead when clint gets picked up by the station. due to slowed down super soldier aging steve's still alive and well tho, and they have a little chit chat where steve's like "go find bucky, clint, there's nothing keeping you here" and when clint tells him he should join him, steve's like "i'll follow, we all will at some point, but i promised tony to look after morgan" (who's older than steve at this point).

so clint steals a ranger (they're advanced by now, but not 100% cleared to do interstellar travel yet, but this is clint we're talking about and cooper literally did the exact same thing in the movie) and sets off to nat's planet.

it takes him a few years, but he gets there, and bc i'm a soft soft softie, OF COURSE both nat and bucky are still alive, already raising the first generation of the new colony (bc they obviously didn't know if they solved the equation after all). i'm not entirely sure how plan b in interstellar war supposed to work, like who would carry & birth the first generation?? but bc of the fact that they only put one woman on the mission, i'll just go with "they have artificial wombs" :D

and now they'll just chill there until the rest of old humanity joins them.

and idk, the thought of bucky and clint being adam and adam of a new humanity for a few years (bc nat puts herself into hypersleep on a regular basis being like "i cant deal with you two idiots for too long, i'm gonna sleep 'til these babies are grown-ups so that i can actually have some good conversations") just really does it for me lmao.

and they all lived happily ever after.

okay this was a long one, sorry, nobody's gonna read this post anyway lmao. i just needed to get it all out of my head bc i'm still not sure if i actually wanna write it or not. i feel a lot better now tho, maybe my head won't explode bc of this idea tonight.

[the-gayest-show]

Through the Looking Back Glass Thoughts/Analysis

I LOVED this episode. It was very endearing and honestly heartwarming (near the end that is) and overall one of my top episodes in the series!

First off, Sofia leaning on Cedric for help with homework is so fucking CUTE. Their dynamic makes me jump up for joy, and Sofia really trusts HIM to get the job done 🥺 Even when Cordelia appears and offers to help, Sofia is still adamant to only have Cedric do it 🥺🥺🥺🥺

It's a small detail, but I think Cedric's pose changes slightly when his sister is around? Like, he's got that hunch back pose that he had in earlier seasons when she's there, it's crazy. There's probably more screenshots I could gather on this but yeah.

The song that comes up in this scene.... mmmm art. Here's me ranting about it.

I think the saddest part of the episode is really seeing Cedric and Cordelia's past dynamic because I genuinely loved it? Like. When they hugged here it was so heartwarming. The nicknames (Cordy, Ceddy) were so cute as well, I guess when they don't use the nicknames in the beginning it's to show the deterioration of their relationship over time, and somewhere in the end of this episode, Cedric starts using the nickname Cordy again which really cements the mending of the relationship. (I did get taken off guard when Cordelia called him Ceddy in the flashback bc I've always associated it with Calista. Maybe Cordelia said it around Calista and she picked it up? IDK)

Cedric is also shown to be really good at magic here. Bro did a spell that was apparently "too advanced" or something? And let's not even begin to discuss the lore implication for WANDLESS MAGIC. BRO TRIED TO REVERSE A SPELL WITH HIS BARE HANDS. THIS MAKES ALREADY INTERESTING STF LORE MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

I find it so interesting that the incident (despite having no known cause at the time) was quite literally blamed on Cedric almost immediately and everyone went with it? Like Cordelia shouts "he ruined it" and no one questions this??? Not even Cedric fending for himself worked? Whoever said in a Tumblr post that this implies that Cedric was treated like some kind of bungler/looked down upon even before this is probably right. Because why else is it just normal for everyone to jump to this conclusion? His parents don't do SHIT about it, and I'm assuming that Goodwyn holds this grudge too (if eps like Mystic Meadows mean anything). Why are they holding onto this for so long? Literally I get holding a bit of resentment but everyone makes mistakes....

Idk this went off, but basically, oof living in your father's shadow was hard AF especially with one mistake people reference in your presence.

Despite this event happening over 30 years ago, it's still somehow the ONE thing people defined him for for years. This episode really further contextualizes his motivations for wanting to become king before season 4. Imagine being rejected from society for YEARS, being belittled and made fun of, people tearing you apart for a mistake you made when you were 9-10 YEARS OLD, it's crazy. 100% that took a toll on him, something you can see in this episode and literally most episodes. It's just really sad.

I'm glad that Sofia and Calista were able to help the both of them realize that it wasn't actually Cedric's fault (something Cordelia should've realized years ago, but seeing the event happen as it did was more a confirmation for Cedric than anything). Cordelia and Cedric forgiving each other was a bit too fast considering everything but I'm glad their relationship is mending.

Credit where credit is due, she sticks up for him after this and lets Cedric do his thing and lets him help Sofia without any ifs and buts, it's sweet.

Personally, I feel that Cedric and Cordelia probably still have a semi-strained relationship after this ep (your sister being the reason you were made fun of for years, and that reason wasn't even valid to begin with defo is not smth you can recover fast from in a 22 min episode)

Also, it's not hard to believe the circumstances wouldn't have changed if the incident were truly Cedric's fault, but Cordelia needed a wakeup call I guess, that works.

Want to mention King Roland for a second because dude. Why is your first reaction to blame Cedric (again), instead of the 2 other magic users in the room (ESPECIALLY THE CHILD. Look I'm a Calista fan thru and thru but logically the blame would be shifted there to an extent??)

King Roland I thought we were over with this since Day of the Sorcerers?? What happened to being NICER to Cedric and maybe NOT blaming him for every little thing? Idk that kinda pissed me off. The fact that Cordelia was the only thing stopping Roland from interrogating the guy... THIS BEHAVIOUR IS WHY CEDRIC TRIED TO TAKE OVER YOUR KINGDOM!!! ROLAND THE 2ND YOU IDIOT!!!

In conclusion, love me a character focused episode that develops a backstory as well as a slight resolution. 1000/10 would re-experience this again.

[shadowuponstorm]

Hi, Arvin Russell

A year after the incidents in Coal Creek, WV, and Meade, OH, Arvin is back in a small town after serving in the Vietnam War. He thought he had left the drama back home, but boy, he was wrong to assume such a thing. MENTIONS: ABUSE, FIGHTING, SMOKING, BLOOD

"Anything else for you, sugar?" A lady asked as I stirred a spoon in my coffee to blend the creamer.

"No, thank you, ma'am, I'm fine," I respond with a drawl of my southern accent as she nods her head and moves on to handle another customer.

I've just gotten back from overseas. Fighting the war in Vietnam was no easy task, and since I've taken a seat, many people have come up to thank me for my service or give me God's blessing that I was able to come back home to my family. My grandma and uncle don't know I went to war, and I also haven't seen them since I left. What happened in the past year, I can never go back and face them, not after what I've done. I haven't prayed since my mama and daddy died or been in church since that day. Reverend Preston Teagardin was found dead in the pews with a bullet wound to the head. I take a sip of my coffee before I hear the bell on the door ring, catching my attention. I look over and see a couple walking in, a guy wearing coveralls with the name tag "Raymond" on the chest and a girl in tow behind him. I hunched that something was amiss when I saw the look on the girl's face; she was scared, and Raymond had quite a rough grip on her arm. They decided to sit at a table adjacent to my seat, and a waitress arrived to take their order when I heard Raymond start to flirt with her. The waitress decided to flirt back, which made me roll my eyes.

"Seriously?" As I took another sip, I thought, "If you're going to flirt with other women, why even bring your girlfriend?"

The waitress asked the girl for her order before she muttered, "Nothing, thank you."

"Speak up when you're spoken to, whore," Raymond said through gritted teeth as he slams a fist on the table, making everyone in the place jump, except for me.

"No, thank you, I don't want anything," The girl spoke louder as the waitress walked back behind the counter to get Raymond's order ready.

"It's good that you listened to me; you were getting fat anyways," Raymond said as I paused mid-sip at the audacity of this man to treat a woman as such.

As much as I wanted to punch him or smack him on the back of the head, I could hear my daddy telling me, "Wait for the right time." 30 minutes or so went by before they decided to head out. After watching them leave, I pulled out my wallet to grab a $10 bill to leave as a tip and headed out the door to make sure the girl was okay. I looked around for signs of her and thought I might've been too late until I heard a scream. I rushed over to where the sound was to see this Raymond guy has her pushed against a brick wall with one hand over her mouth and the other on her hip.

"You're going to do what I tell you to do," Raymond muttered as he reached his hand that was on her hip to go under her dress.

Before he could do anything else, I ran over and landed a punch square across the jaw. He groaned in pain before he turned his attention to me and wiped the blood from his lip. Raymond wielded his fist back to land a punch in my nose, hard. I then jump on top of him to continue throwing punches until I see him struggle.

"Now, stay away from her, or else I will find you again and do worse than this," I said as I leaned my face to Raymond's, "Got it?"

Raymond nodded weakly, and I moved off him to turn my attention to the shaking girl in front of me.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. He shouldn't hurt you again, is there anyone you need me to call or come get you?" I asked as she shook her head no, "Okay, come on, I'll give you a ride, and you can stay with me until you recover enough."

I started to walk to my car, expecting her to follow me, but before she did, she landed a hard kick to Raymond's ribs. I opened the passenger door for her to get in, then shut the door to go to the driver's side.

"Why did you do that?" I hear her ask before I told her I'll explain everything when we're back at my place.

After arriving, we got out of the car and before I could grab a cigarette to light, I see her walking up with a napkin in hand.

"Wha-" I was about to ask before she started wiping away the blood from my nose, "Why are you doing that?"

"You did something for me, so I thought I would do something for you," the girl responded as she tossed the bloody napkin in a nearby trash can, "I believe you said you'll explain everything when we arrived."

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it before I asked her for her name.

"My name is Y/N, and yours?" She asked back, making me chuckle.

"Arvin Russell, and well, no girl deserves to be treated like that, so I waited for the right time to beat up that dumbass," I said as I walked toward my porch and asked, "Are you sure there's no one to call?"

Y/N shook her head before saying, "My mama died when I was young, and my daddy was nowhere to be found. I've been on my own since I turned 18, but I lived with my aunt most of my life. She lives in the next town over. What made you think you needed to wait for the right time?"

"My daddy, he taught me that before he died," I responded as Y/N looked curious before she asked about how it happened.

"I was young when my mama got diagnosed with cancer. My daddy had it in his mind that God would remove the cancer from her body. So we would go to the praying log to pray, hoping that it would work, but when it didn't, my daddy sacrificed my dog, Jack. He committed suicide the day we buried my mama," I responded as I turned my head away, not wanting to see her reaction.

"Please tell me that dog isn't still hanging on the cross," Y/N said as I shook my head and told her how I went back years later to give him a proper burial that he deserved.

"So, what brought you to this small town of mine?" Y/N asked as I considered my answer before simplifying it to, "I've just finished fighting the war in Vietnam. Amongst other things, but I'm keeping those details to myself."

"I get that. You just met a total stranger after coming to her rescue," Y/N said as I laughed before I thought to ask if Raymond knew where she lived.

"Oh shit, I forgot about that. He's probably waiting at my front door for me to come home," Y/N responded, looking nervous, before I told her she could stay as long as she needed to feel safe, "Wait, you're okay with me staying? Even if you just met me?"

I nodded before saying, "I'm not a bad guy to live with, I can give you space when and if you need it."

"Okay, then I accept your offer, Arvin Russell," Y/N said with a smile as I smiled back at her.

Little did we know that decision would change both of our lives forever.

[thespectralvision]

I met Paul Bettany (again) yesterday at Dallas Fan Festival and I'm not sure I'll ever recover.

To preface this, I've been doing cons and seeing live productions for a long time, so I have met a fair number of celebrities and I've never had a bad experience. Getting to meet Lizzie Olsen a few months back was thrilling enough, and I feel so blessed that both she and Paul ended up attending conventions in Texas within a span of months. That said, Paul Bettany blew every other celebrity meeting I've had so far out of the water I don't even know how to compare them. Part of that is my own personal connection to his work - he's been my favorite actor for a very *very* long time - and getting to share how he's been a part of my journey from afar was very emotional and so *so* worth it. Long story below the cut:

When I met him breifly in NYC it was very exciting, but he was running almost 30 minutes late to his own play and didn't have time to chat, so we just snapped the selfie and that was that. The play was an amazing experience, and I discussed it in this post back in December when it happened.

Yesterday I had several one-on-one minutes with him over the course of the day. After a little stress getting in the line (where a kind lady on staff went out of her way to help me and a large group of friends in line with me. One of them had purchased an autograph because she's collecting MCU signatures in a book, but she told me she also wanted to set me up so he knew I was a super-fan.

He started by looking at the print and then deciding he was going to sign it in pink. He was *very* adamant about that, and I laughed and said it was his call. The grin as he started to write and confirmed that yes, pink was the right colour was a wonderful laugh at the beginning.

I told him that I specifially painted this for him to sign, and he was so kind as he looked at it and told him it was my art. I shared a little of my journey and thanked him, because I found Vision as a character due to being a fan of his acting for nearly 2 decades, starting with when I saw A Knights Tale shortly after it came out back in 2001. Before I could drive my dad would take me to go see every movie he did in theaters, and as an adult I've kept up. Paul's work has been a constant in my life, and a source of comfort long before his involvement in the MCU let alone my love of Vision as a character (completely seperate from the man who plays him)

I explained how I had been fighting severe depression for most of the 10 years prior to WandaVision's release, and I had given up on art. Watching WandaVision, and then reading comics about Vision made me want to paint him. The first several times I've never shared (maybe I'll do a big dump of unfinished/unreleased art one of these days) but I just kept trying. In the time since I've created close to 200 piece of art, and I take so much joy in it again. When I have a bad week I paint to relax, I paint when I'm struggling to express things, for a distraction or to share my joy. I didn't go into so much detail with Paul but he listened to every word. I then mentioned that I had met him very breifly in NYC last winter because I had travelled to see him for The Collaboration, and a front-row seat had been my Christmas Gift. He was *so happy* guys. He looked like he had just been given the best compliment ever when I told him how much of a treat it was to get to see him acting live. He made this little happy sound and it was so lovely. I think as artists, knowing our work has inspired others in the way we are inspired is a very high compliment and it felt that way.

He was so kind and at the end of our time together before I walked away he looked at me and told me I had a gift, and thanked me for sharing it with him. I think hearing my story and his small but oh-so-important role in it made him a little emotional too, he looked like he might cry for a breif moment. I said I would be seeing him later for a photo and he smiled so brighly and waved me off, and he didn't turn to the next group until I turned away from his table. All my friends were waiting for me and had been watching and they started freaking out about the conversation. Another friend who was in a different line but had excellent eyesight of Paul was like 'I think he loved your art wow his reaction'. They watched him with other guests for quite awhile and commented that he was all smiles and like that with everyone. Every other person I spoke with at the convention who met him had nothing but glowing things to say. A few friends told me after they now understand why I'm so fond of him hah.

I had a period of time between the autograph and the scheduled photo ops, so I walked the rest of the event and picked up some goodies I'll share in another post - it was like Paul Bettany/Vision Christmas I've never seen so much Vision art and merch selling and on display let alone being bought. When it was finally my time for the photo he finished with the group ahead of me and his face lit up with a bright smile as I moved into the space. I wasn't sure how close was ok - I have a rule of thumb when doing con photos to let the guest decide how much contact/space is ok because everyone is different. Paul put his arm around me and kept nudging me until I finally moved in closer, then he gave me a proper hug with a little squeeze. If you've ever imagined huging Vision (or Paul) it's exactly what you expect. Before he let me go he thanked me again (?!) and waved me off, and said he'd see me at his panel in a little bit.

His panel was also fantastic and fun, and he charmed the entire room. Some friends went with me who aren't as familiar with him or his work outside of Marvel, and they all agreed they would pay to meet him again/see a panel if he had one. I'm sure someone else will beat me to uploading the video (I did record most of it but my phone was almost dead) so I won't go into too much detail but it was such a fun hour.

I couldn't have asked for a better day. If anyone on this Earth made me feel the way Vision makes me feel when I'm reading comics or watching MCU projects, it was Paul. He described Vision in an interview once as 'warmth personified' and I think that's just a lot of *him*. His energy was infectuous and he was so gracious and kind and humbled by the display of fans. It was also just nice to see so many people celebrating his art and the characters he plays. It's rare to see *so much* love for Vision, let alone others that are less known.

If you are a fan and have an opportunity to see Paul Bettany live please do. He really is a gem and in this case I'm so glad I got to meet my hero in more ways than one.

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Things You Should Never Say To a Chronic Illness Survivor

This is a list of things that are just not cool to say to anybody with a chronic condition. I have fibromyalgia, which is a very complicated way of saying everything hurts, and no one knows why. I've heard most of this crap first hand. Seriously, y'all know this stuff doesn't help, knock it off.

"You don't look sick." Uh, yeah. Invisible illness doesn't outwardly advertise. While we may not look sick, you look like an ass saying that. 0/10, please stop.

"You're too young to be sick." You say that to a pediatric cancer patient? No? Then realize sickness can hit at any age. Another 0/10, stop it.

"It can't be that bad, you're always smiling." Here's the thing... most of us in this hellboat do not, surprisingly, like to be seen when we're not on our game, and we honestly want to just die. Unless you, like a certain very fictional SCP Foundation Doctor, can swap bodies at will, you have no freaking clue how anyone else feels. -10/10, say it again and we can and will find someone to smack the stupid out of you on our behalf.

"Are you still sick/are you better yet/you still haven't recovered yet?" Uh, yeah. Chronic illness doesn't just vanish. Supremely unhelpful, hurtful, and the next person who asks me this personally will find out I can still bitchslap with the best of them. -11/10, delete this query from your vocabulary.

"You can't always be in this much pain." No, some days are even WORSE. And the stress from dealing with unbelievers stings as much as our illnesses. Again, spend an hour in our bodies, you'll sing a new tune. -9/10, if you don't know, don't judge.

"You're just miserable." No shit, asshole. We're in pain all the time. If we complain, 9 times out of 10, we're not bullshitting you. Trust us. If we don't complain, it still hurts. For some of us it even hurts more to complain all the time. -20/10, say this one more time, we dare you.

"Have you tried (insert treatment/supplement/exercise here)?" Uh, probably. But not everything works for everybody. And some exercises just make it worse. 0/10, stop it.

"You just need therapy." While therapy helps deal with the condition, it WILL NOT FIX A GODSDAMNED CHEMICAL IMBALANCE/PHYSICAL DEFORMITY IN YOUR BRAIN BY ITSELF. You wouldn't say this to a person with a brain tumor, quit saying it to us. -11/10, do your research and learn something.

"Try to reduce stress." Uh... my body is the PRIMARY SOURCE of my stress, as it decided it hates me. So, unless you got a spare meatsuit behind your desk, this is just useless. -20/10, quit it.

"I know how you feel." No, no you do not, not unless you're trapped in your own circle of this particular hell. -25/10, this WILL result in me punching the offender if I hear this one more damn time.

"You're faking it/Fibromyalgia doesn't exist/you're just trying to get attention." Yeah, because being in CONSTANT UNBEARABLE AGONY 24/7/365 is just soo much fun. Look, no one really believed in radiation before the Curies, but it exists, and can be proven. Unlike the so-called intelligence of the idiot saying this. -30/10, if you think this, would you kindly stay the fuck away from us, as you're just a fool.

"You'll feel better after a good sleep." Assuming our bodies even let us, which is rare. And for me at least, I think the last good sleep I had was getting my gallbladder out, not that it helped. 0/10, just shove it.

"You'll feel worse in a few years." Really? Cause I legit want to die now. -1000/10, if you get the urge to say this, punch yourself in the eye and save us the trouble.

"Try (insert whatever diet here), it'll help." Not always an option on a fixed income, my dudes.

"There are people worse off than you." This pisses me off on two levels. One, comparing traumas/illnesses doesn't do much. Two, this is true for almost everybody. -250/10, mean, rude, and simply unhelpful.

"Everybody feels like that." ALL THE TIME? No? Then stfu. -1000/10, again, feel the urge to say this, punch yourself in the eye and save us the trouble.

"You're no fun anymore." Neither is our illness. -10/10.

"Why can't you just snap out of it?" DID YOU REALLY FUCKING THINK WE HAVEN'T TRIED THAT, YOU IDIOT? Chronic illness does not work like that AT ALL. -2000/10, never say this.

"Have you tried losing/gaining weight?" It makes very little difference. -10/10, shut up and mind your business instead of our waistlines.

"You're not really trying to get better." Yes, yes we are. And this doesn't do anything but anger us. The very notion we like being this way implies just how dumb people can be. -1000/10, just stop this crap.

[deans-baby-momma]

Law & Love Chapter 13

A/N: Sorry this is late but I realized that I needed a new aesthetic and then I had to wait until boss lady wasn't in the office to be able to get on here and upload.

I glare at the man in front of me as he removes the cowboy hat from atop his head and holds it in his hands, a look of pensive pleading on his face. His hazel eyes are full of sorrow and pain. It almost makes my heart ache for him. He is apparently not here for a social call. 

“I’m sorry Mr. Walker-”

“Cordell, ma’am,” he interrupts, with a quick smile. “Cordi.”

“Well, Cordell,” I say with a small smile of my own, “I hate to tell you this but Beau and his family have decided to move back to Texas.” 

Cordell-Cordi- visibly sighs and mumbles, "You gotta be shittin' me!" before he recovers and smiles at me. 

"Thank you for your time, Mrs.- '' he trails off, as if he's requesting more information, so I acquiesce. 

"Y/N Y/LN," I inform him. "Just Y/N. No Mrs." 

"Oh, I see." 

Is that a blush on his cheeks? I think to myself.

"Okay," Cordell says with a nod and a smile as he repositions his hat on his head. "Thank you for your time."

I am rooted to the floor as I stand watching the tall drink of water stroll out the door, the bell ringing not even registering in my brain. I lick my lips as I contemplate going after him.

Before he gets too far, I take off after him, catching up to him in the parking lot.

As he opens the driver's door to the Dodge Ram truck, I say his name,  grabbing his attention. "Cordell!"

He turns and looks at me, confused. 

"Do you want Beau's number? Or, maybe mine?" I say with a stroke of bravery. Beau is gone but that doesn't mean I have to be stuck here, pining after him. He made his choice and I wasn't it.

Cordi seems surprised by the offer and I open my mouth to rescind it but he cuts me off.

"I'd love to have your number-" he says with what could only be considered a cross between a smile and a smirk. "I already have Beau's.'

I take his phone when he hands it over and input my information in the contact list before saving it and reaching out to give it back.

My thumb accidentally hits the HOME key and I freeze. "You're a Texas Ranger? Wait, Beau was-is also from Texas. Is he a Ranger too?"

Cordi chuckles. “No. Um, we worked on a case together about 10 years ago and well, I need his input on something to do with it.”

“Oh. Well, like I said he went back to Texas with his ex and their daughter,” I tell him, looking up into his eyes. “I guess since her husband was murdered, they decided to give it another go. I don’t know-” I explain with a shrug. “I quit listening after he said ‘I’m sorry but,’ because I knew what was coming.”

Cordell nods in understanding and then looks intently at my face. “Well, can I just say….he made a huge mistake. Carla is and always has been a bitch.”

I smile and look up at the Ranger through my lashes. “His loss might be your gain.”

Cordell smiles wide, his perfectly straight white teeth sparkling in the sunlight. "Well, I had planned to be here a few days to talk to Beau about the case. I'm at the Pierpont Motel. 

"How about dinner tonight? Say 7?"

My smile matches his as I nod. "It's a date, handsome."

It's been almost a year since I left Eric and even longer since I've had sex but that didn't seem to be a deterrent to my memory.

Actually, the only thing time had caused me was I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed sex; how much I loved a good, hard fuck.

The date with Cordell is exceptional. He is a perfect gentleman, holding the door for me, helping me get settled in my seat at the table, allowing me to order my own food. Those Texas boys are brought up nice and proper. 

Not saying that Beau hadn't shown me the same respect and courtesy, but we never even made it to a first date before he rushed off to try again with his ex. 

As soon as we are back in his truck, and before he's even got the key in the ignition, I repay his kindness and courteous conduct by leaning over and pulling him into a kiss. The surprise of my actions didn’t last long before Cordell was pulling me into his lap and licking into my mouth. 

When we pulled apart to catch our breath, he looked at me reverently and asked, “Is this going where I think it’s going?”

“If you want to,” I answer and move to straddle his lap. “I’m willing and ready.”

Cordell smiles and kisses me again and before long his fingers are digging into my hips and he helps them to undulate the bulge in his jeans. My panties are soaked and I cannot wait to get out of the confines of this truck, to have room to do more than just hump and kiss.

Cordell pulls back and looks me in the eyes, his pupils blown with lust. “My room or yours?”

“Yours,” I answer and kiss him once more before I slip out of his lap and back to the passenger seat. 

“I’m -uh, I’ve got to make a quick stop first.”

I look over to see his cheeks flushed and can’t tell if it's from the heat of the situation or if he is embarrassed.

“Okay.”

As soon as we pull into the CVS parking lot, I realize what he means. I giggle as he adjusts his pants and gets out to walk into the pharmacy to buy condoms. As I wait, I pull my panties off and from under my dress and throw them into my purse. One less thing to have to do when we get to his room.

Cordell rushes out of the store with a bag in his hand and jumps into the truck before reversing and taking off toward the Pierpont Motel. 

Once inside, after Cordell clumsily unlocks the door and pulls me in, I drop to my knees at his feet and start working on his belt. My eyes bulge out of my head as his manhood is exposed.

“Oh, fuck!’ I exclaim.

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam  @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @deandreamernp @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @brownbearhusky @purpleeclipseeggsland @deans-spinster-witchs-favorites @yvonneeeeeeee @tmb510 @fallenlilangel99 @globetrotter28

[flameunquenched]

more medical stuff under the cut + some general ranting. i have nowhere else to put this so...

still have no appointment for my gallbladder ultrasound so i guess i'mma have to call my pcp tomorrow and gently light a fire bc i really want to get that done monday if at all possible. if it is my gallbladder, then getting it out asap is high priority for me because i'm so tired of feeling sick ALL the time. if it was a matter of watching what i ate, that'd be fine but one day it's fine and i can eat normally and the next i'm sick as fuck. it's exhausting and i'm at the point where eating is, frankly, scary because i never know what might trigger and when.

in addition, i'm scared to tell my folks about it. honestly, i expect that the diabetes (both now that i know and am treating it and prior to the stroke when it was untreated/unmanaged/unknown) is probably the root cause of it and they already blame me (fairly, i blame myself) for the diabetes.

the good news is that my a1c is down under 10 again which is good cause a few months ago it was way up. papaw being in the hospital so much towards the end of last year/early this likely did not help with that and i've worked really hard to get it back towards being under control and also trying to get it back down.

but honestly? it's hard. my pcp wants me to attend some diabetic classes at the nearby hospital and tbh i'm kinda looking forward to it. when i got diagnosed, i was still REALLY out of it and in the hospital recovering from the stroke so although it was explained to me, that was a while ago and i was still really sick. then my family started controlling every aspect of my diet and so i developed a lot of issues towards the idea of food. being entirely honest, i haven't really enjoyed eating/cooking in a couple years now because i felt so incredibly scrutinized with every bite i was taking before i got my own place.

my dad's wife didn't help with matters either and our relationship is still really strained from all of that.

so it's like...not only am i dealing with a chronic disease that is really scary and hard to deal with, but i'm dealing with it half-blind because i never really got the teaching to understand it. and while i've done reading on my own, there's still a lot of fog surrounding it.

i'm also still waiting for a call for an appt to see a therapist and got my zoloft increased from 50mg to 100mg. not sure i feel better yet but it's getting there.

idk. shit's hard right now but tumblr is helping. i hope to get to where i can write again, at least a little bit.

so. yeah. uh if you read this far, thanks i guess? have a cookie on me.

[acestories]

Arc 1; Chapter 1

In some ways the world hasn’t changed; Karens still scream at grocery store clerks for no reason, Douchebags think they own the roads, and the sun continues to rise every morning. But, it’s definitely changed; people fly through the air on their own, a car mechanic lifts the car he’s working on with his bare hand, and a thief outruns a squad of police cars.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. 2020 was terrible already, but as if that wasn’t enough, it had one last fucking piece of shit to throw in our faces. Christmas night, there was a violet star in the sky. By new years eve, it had become a sun. By new years day, a violet mist that brought with it plague, one with a 10% mortality rate, and the rich and powerful hid themselves away from it. As they always did.

But as it turned out, ⅕ of those who survived it got what could only be called Superpowers. And very few of the rich and powerful got Superpowers. The inevitable started to happen.

And where do I fit into all of this? Well, I'm the ñonbinary cat boy waiting for their take out to be ready. What? Just because I got Superpowers doesn't mean I don't want tacos. And these guys make a gochujang teriyaki sauce that is to die for. And I'm not gonna let some random ass fuck wad villain destroy this place, I can't recreate the sauce!

The villain (who I think called himself Syndrome or some shit like that, I can't remember) charged at me, fist raised high. I'm able to dodge at the last minute, the concrete street corner shattering as it took the blow, which when combined with my latest bruises, are enough to tell me that this guy has one of those god damn Escalating Strength powers in addition to the basic stuff.

Gotta take them out fast, before they start punching Blackholes or something. I think someone could do that.

The villain starts monologuing; ooooooh, his name is "Symptom." That's actually kinda cool I gotta admit. Regardless, thank fuck this guy is long winded. Or really into L.A.R.P.ing. Doesn't matter now though; I charge at him with the speed of a bullet and unleash a flurry of blows. After a few seconds of what sounds like a machine gun going off, he starts to fall backwards, a look of surprise on his big stupid, neck-bearded face.

Heh, I caught him Monologuing. Guess that makes me a sly cat instead of a sly dog. :D

Oh yeah, the cat parts. While only ⅕ of survivors got super powers, over half of survivors got "fantasy bits." I got turned into a cat boy, but I've seen people with other things. Someone I went to high-school with got turned into an Orc.

Oh, and these things aren't a package deal, but there is enough overlap that it's testing fate to make a cat girl angry. So the Boomer who's screaming and making threats at me for not saving his car is either really brave or really stupid. I'm betting on the latter.

CRACK!

Shit, wasn't paying attention! Mmm, that's gonna smart tomorrow. I stumble to stay standing, looking for who hit me. Dammit, my vision is still blurry.

POW!

Again, but from the other side. This time though, I'm able to recover faster, and I see a trail of dust kicked up by a wind. Great, a speedster.

Dick wads didn't just get standard stuff, they get to be stupid fast. Faster than even I can see. But, based on the fact that I didn't explode, safe to assume that they're not too much stronger than I. Probably not much tougher either.

I suppose I should explain myself, huh? So, almost every super is significantly stronger, tougher, and faster than they were before, with heightened senses to boot. Most can lift one end of a car. I'm one of the ones that can kill a building. We don't got any Supermans or Omnimans, but we got some guys who're way the fuck up there.

But after the basic stuff, lots of people also got other powers, some coming into them easier than others. Symptom from earlier got Escalating Strength, which makes him stronger the longer he fights, but not tougher or faster (no, I don't know how it works exactly). Our new friend is a Speedster, so they get to move at Mach speeds (or close to it).

But now that I know what to look for, I can look and hear for them. And with my Cat Ears, I'm really good at hearing them tear through the atmosphere. They might be faster than sound, but the air sure as shit isn't. As they come towards me, I fly 30 m (100 in freedom units) up into the air, the Speedster's momentum carrying them past where I was.

Yeah, I got flight. Which is also pretty common, and lots of people make it work. I can't. I can jump up to this high, and after that I can fall with style. If I try to actually fly, I become a hazard to everything around me. Aside from knowing you guys are there, the only other power I know I have is Laser Eyes. And the only time I've used that, I destroyed my bed and first print Power 9 mtg cards! Those are worth $165,100!

As I drift down, I can see the Speedster trying to get her bearings. Well, she's practically where I was, and I can make myself come down really fucking hard. Choosing occam's razor, I bring myself down to the ground. Hard. Hard enough that the Speedster is now a good couple inches in the pavement.

I stand up, keeping my foot down on her head. After a minute or so, I felt confident in assuming she was down. Long enough that I can try to tie her up for the cops. And tie up Symptom. And actual–

"Oh, thank you señior!" I turn around to see the old Latino lady who took my order running up to me. Before I can process this, she glomps me in a bear hug.

"Uh, you're welcome. If you don't mind me asking, what did I do?"

"You saved us." This time, I turn to the Old Japanese man who cooks in the kitchen walking up to me, but picking up a bag I hadn't realized the Speedster had dropped before also hugging me. "The fast one stole from us while you were busy. You're a true hero."

"I'm not a hero. I was only here for tacos."

From the face pressed into my chest came "No, you were the only one here, and you helped. That makes you a hero."

I tried to form a response, but a slight rustling brought my attention, not to the store, but to the hole in an apartment above it. To a family. Their family. Their grandchildren.

As what I just did begins to really sink in, a young teenager comes up to me carrying a bag of styrofoam boxes. "But I only ordered one thing of tacos…" is all I can say weakly.

"The rest is our thanks." The only response I can think of is tears.

[h-doodles]

hi, can I ask for your top ten favorite fics ? :)

Hi anon hiiiiiiii welcome!!! u caught me at a good time, ur soooo lucky bc i just glanced at my notifs and saw this ask get sent <3 KDBDKDKK its been literal years since i checked my ask box 👉🏻👈🏻

BUT ANYWAY! top 10 of all time???? be warned that while i am currently enchanted with ONE (1) 6 ft 3 in actress, I still do consider myself a girlie with varied tastes so. my old & other fandoms are mixed in my current list!

without further ado:

#10: knowledge for knowledge's sake by tigriswolf (ao3) || quite an old piece detailing how a change in the personality of one Hermione Granger could have had a massive impact to the story— and while I don't fuck with JKTerfling, the fics I've read from the old fans in the HP fandom are still honestly, some of the BEST I have EVER read. This one in particular irrevocably changed me as a teen, and is one story that I continue to draw inspiration upon when I create dark!AUs for my SI/OCs.

#9: Zutopia by itslivybear (ao3) || the fluff, the worldbuilding, an AU where Izuku is mentored by our beloved Rat God & together, they fix the world problems? GIRLIES catch me forever LOVING this concept like you could NEVER believe <3

#8: (not so) Bad Idea by @sarahpaulsonsoftie (tumblr post) || HEE HEE ITS LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE LIKE HELP THESE BITCHES GAY!!!!!! GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!!! ft a meddling plantita who really mothered; Marilyn Thornhill <3

#7: Hold my Soul by connyhascontrol (ao3) || I got into Trixie/Katya completely by one @montaguehphm introducing me to UNHhhh (HIIIIIII bestie I hope everything is going good and that ur gay keeps slay <3) and I haven't recovered ever since— reading the fics by writers on AO3 was a happy little accident, but one i will FOREVER love, nonetheless. Anyway, this particular fic was SO brilliantly original and YET so entrenched in the personalities between T&K that it ABSOLUTELY just wrecks me everytime I reread it. anyways hi @connyhascontrol pls know ur brilliant <3

#6: I think I'm gonna call him out by hellelf (ao3, users only) || again, another AU for Hermione fic, that's chockfull of world building and interesting relationships! It's been unupdated from its 5 chapters since 2021, but I still LOVE to look back at it from time to time 💖

#5: The Confectionary Chronicles series by cheshire_caroll (ao3); Into the Black series by angelholme (ao3); Hermione Granger & the Serpent's Renaissance series by epsi1on (ao3) AND New Blood by artemisgirl (ff.net) || if it's not evident, i am an absolute slut for fics ft. Hermione being badass & put into a v cool plot w/ insane amounts of world building, so yeah, def a top 5 most contender <3

#4: The Infinitely Curious Woman by chararii (ao3) || literally ALL of their fics are absolute bangers, and while I forever mourn their decision to stop all Naruto fics thanks to the great harddrive incident of 2022, I have nonetheless the GREATEST respect to their skill & talent to bring SUCH LIFE to their stories. In particular, I chose this particular fic of theirs because the premise of Sakura making her own way by shedding off her morality the more she learned & got influenced by her 2 greatest teachers was absolutely nothing short of DIVINE. It was and IS such an inspiration to read, reread & explore, and I will forever love @chararii for this brilliant piece of a fic

#3: The Endgame that never was series by @heleneplays aka me (tumblr masterlist) || ok I know this seems self-absorbed but DEAR MOTHER OF CHRISTIE i literally WENT OFF for a whole ass day and a half going feral for the Relics of the Lost Age series book 3 finale (hi @jamesshawgames pls know im still here and STILL simping even tho i am currently having a brainrot for a different thing on main sjdhdkdk i hope ur doing well dearest mr. chief author sir!!!!) and created this series from my dreams + nonstop ben&ben playlist— and honestly, I think it's VERY sexy of me <3 bc I rarely like things that I do after a while, but THIS— alongside Universal Constant (ao3) are truly my BEST work <3

#2: Across the Stars by nomisunrider (ao3) || I CAN NEVER STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HOW MUCH THIS FIC ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY LIKE. its been 4 YEARS since it was completed but HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. GOD. The story between Michael & Philippa persisting beyond the odds, in a twist of the canon happenings in Star Trek: Discovery is FOREVER ingrained in my heart and soul and honestly once again THANK YOU @nomi--sunrider for SUCH a beautiful story 🥺🥺🥺

and drum roll please!!!

#1 (current): I literally cannot pick between Better than Gold + Little Cat by @lady-dimimi / @azu-zu (tumblr post for BtG | LC ao3); How to woo a Hot Principal by @softshrimpy (ao3); and Lipstick Stains by @weemssapphic (ao3) || LIKE HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF TALENT, PLOT, FLUFF, DRAMA AND UTTER GAYNESS THESE FICS BRING ME— its SOOOOO insanity inducing in the best of ways <3 also, i really count myself lucky to get into a very active (x reader) sphere LIKE ITS SOOOOO INSANE i get to consume CONTENT daily for such wonderful characters and these special morsels be like. authors, I am sending you all a MWAH from me