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jaeminscoffee · 3 years

Text

Colours | X. Dj

Pairing» Xiaojun x f!Reader

Genre» Angst, Fluff, Smut (suggestive)

Warning(s)» Friends to lovers trope, Xiaojun kinda loses his temper but that subdues, heavy makeout session, groping, public sex, fingering, implied sex towards the ending (open imagination since the request was kinda vague), steamy, our boi dejun get's flustered by Y/n's bubbly personality. I think that's about it. Lmao not proof read, so it will contain a hell lot of mistakes.

Wc; type» 2.06k ; oneshot

Red.

All Xiaojun could see is Red.

To have the person who dragged him all the way to some stupid reunion party against his will to abandon him in the first five minutes with the pathetic excuse of "I'll go grab us some drinks" only to never return back to his aid had Xiaojun boil with anger.

To have you smiling and laughing, clinging and grasping at a man he's never seen before is Infuriating.

To see you so smitten by a guy other than Xiaojun had him seeing crimson with comically visible smoke coming out of his ears, arms shaking, jaw set rigid with palms growing moist from all the clenching and unclenching.

Xiaojun felt yellow.

He felt insecure at how the man before you just seemed to be much to your taste.

He felt unsure of whether or not he should risk walking up to you and talk the talk he'd wanted to let out since the day you stood up for the lad. And inevitably, and much to his pleasure, stood by him in the process till date.

He felt that maybe, just maybe, he's not worthy of having a girl as astounding as you. And all that sliver of hope he'd held onto only seemed to be slipping away from his grasp.

Xiaojun felt blue.

The dreading feeling that he'd lose all that the two of you built until where your relationship stands today with a single mistake bubbles inside of him.

Watching you from afar with a man potentially your dream guy just made him feel blue. Numb, and as though a part of him was slowly chipping away.

The immense feeling of sheer sadness had him want to turn on his heels and back out to what he thinks "get out of your way" and to prevent further breakage of his heart.

Until he saw red again.

Watching you throw yourself at this stranger, arms tightly wrapped around the bastard's waist, hips joint, with his hands running through the soft curls of your tresses, "who does he think he is?"

How entitled must this man think he is to expand the white between the two of you? You and Xiaojun were meant to be and he'd only flick your head and call you stupid if you ever said otherwise.

Eyebrows furrowing as Xiaojun followed each of your actions. How your chin tucks and you hide your face in this 'dream bastard's' chest, arms idly resting on his torso, your hair covering your face from all the moving around. He kept watching you;

Until your gaze met.

Time seemed to stand still, in a much cliché fashion. Seeing the expressionless look on his face seemed to have clicked the power on button somewhere in your head.

You'd unintentionally abandoned the man you promised you wouldn't.

Almost as though Xiaojun could see the wheels turning inside your head, he sneers at you, immediately turning around to walk into a corner the moment he saw you approaching him through the crowd filled with hookers, stoners, and people too bored for their own good.

"Jun, wait up!"

He could hear your shrill voice call out to him the moment he rounded a turn. He didn't turn, however, mind clouded red, crimson and ebony with jealousy, envy and all mixed emotions, he felt dizzy.

You catching up to him only seemed to worsen his dizziness, "Jun! I-i'm so sorry i forgot about you, it's just my b-"

"Forgot about me, huh?" Xiaojun's voice comes gruff, hoarse from the inadequate usage. He doesn't bother turning around to look at you, wouldn't have done much anyways, the lighting of the area so dim, he can barely make out your silhouette.

Besides, his vision is clouded with black, wouldn't have done much anyways.

"No no, not forget forget about you! I just got caught up with my b-"

"boyfriend? Y/n, are you oblivious to not know how I feel? Am I vague? Oh I'm sorry, am I not obvious enough?" Through the darkness, you could see Xiaojun's shoulder shake, his tone strained, his head hung low, avoiding your gaze the closer you got. "Jun, what are you talking about?"

You seemed to be feeling grey, confused.

"Your boyfriend, Y/n."

"Jun, boyfriend-!" "I like you damn it!" you flinch as he abruptly turns around, the red building inside him so rapidly that it inevitably ends up exploding.

"You know I like you, no, I love you. Why else would you have been waltzing around acting like a pliant, docile girlfriend?" The grey intensifies within you the faster Xiaojun talks quick strides towards you.

Your silence and the unconscious stepping back seemed to plant a seed of yellow within him again. "You led me on. You seemingly ignored my feelings. Because you obviously know I like you, don't you?" The red appears again, mixing with the intense yellow, blending into a terrific orange as Xiaojun closes the space between the two of you with newfound confidence.

"You like me.." you whisper, your palms pressing onto the greasy wall behind you where Xiaojun had you cornered, your eyes shaking in ecstasy. He likes you, no. He loves you.

"You need to a whole 'nother level of airhead if you think i view you merely as a friend-" Somewhere in your head, you know he's talking to you, but his voice seems to numb out in the beautiful crimson that's taking over your heart, with a slight mix of elegant yellow and purple so faint it could come off as violet. "You like me!" you look up at him.

"-Yes, Y/n, keep up god damn! But do you care? Of course not! You go get yourself a boyfriend while i wallow in self pity-"

"Oh god you like me!" you bounce with all the vibrant colors swirling inside you, your arms lifting up to wrap around the lads neck, who jumps at the unexpected action, looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and slight fury.

"Does it matter, Y/n? Your boyfriend's probably looking for you now-"

"Jun, what are you talking about? I don't have a boyfriend!" you pull him down to be leveled with you, looking him intensely in the eye as you watch the familiar grey dominate his irises.

"Th-Then, that man you were all over..? You cannot possibly tell me he's not your boyfriend" he seems to be fighting to hold onto the red fury as it slowly turns into a rosy flush. "The man I was all over..?" you question seemingly to yourself, as the wheels turn in your head once again until the entire process comes to an abrupt halt at the realization hitting you.

"Jun, that's my brother! My cousin!"

The look on the lad's face is so incredulous that you break out into a cheshire grin, "you were jealous of my brother?" you giggle, as you playfully punch at his chest which deflates as he radiates bright crimson, skin heated.

"o-okay brother. brother, alright. Though, I still don't stand a chance, do i?" Xiaojun questions, stammering with embarrassment while being overcome with a sudden sense of blue. Sure you didn't have a boyfriend, doesn't change the fact that you're way out of his league.

You stare into his eyes, hoping that would somehow convey the answer to his question, but the more you just look at him, the more the light in his eyes seems to dim out.

Offering him a soft smile, which he doesn't seem to notice, you catch him off guard when you lift his head up, tilting it while pressing your lips onto his ever so gently. Providing a soft peck as you sigh in ecstasy.

You let your lips linger a little longer, silently pouring out your heart into the soft action of affection before hesitantly pulling away.

"Does that answer your question?" your gentle voice pulls Xiaojun out of his haze.

You kissed him. You like him. He stands a chance with you.

That seems to snap the last bit of self restraint in him as he captures your lips once again with much fervor. Molding his lips with yours, all signs of softness thrown out of the window as his hands circle your hips, pulling you flush against him.

The feeling of your heat encircling him makes him groan into the kiss, making a wave of shock run through your spine. The hairs on your hand standing proud as you play with the hair at the back of his neck, pulling at it.

Biting down on your lips, Xiaojun positively earns a moan from you. He takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into yours, easily dominating your tongue as you slowly, subconsciously start grinding against him, making him squeeze tight at your hips.

"I.. Love you.. Jun" you say in between the kiss as his hands travel further south, groping at your ass, pulling you in, supporting your grinds on his crotch.

"Fuck.." he sighs at the words, slithering wet kisses from your lips to the edge of your lips, moving onto the jaw before choosing to nip at the skin, "say it again, doll" he rasps onto your neck, while his hands sneakily makes its way under the flimsy material of your skirt, thumbing at your growing wetness while staring intently at you, silently asking for the green flag to proceed.

"I.. I love you. I love you, Xiaojun!" you nod at him while pouring all your adoration onto the lad, you'd waited too long for the two of you to take it slow from now on forth.

Xiaojun moves your panties to the side, immediately finding the bundle of nerves, pressing nimbly onto your clit, basking in your little whimpers and shakes.

He wastes no time to draw figure eights onto the sensitive bud, cooing at you while marking his territory on your neck, your jaw, the naked skin of your shoulders and collarbone, exposed by the off shoulder top you'd chosen for the evening.

"I love you, too, princess. You've no idea how long I've waited for this moment." he moans onto your neck while sliding in a slender digit into your wet cavern.

You grow frantic, soaking in all the emotions Xiaojun is pouring onto you with his actions and words, being pulled close to your high, embarrassing faster than you'd appreciate.

"You've no idea how many times I'm imagined taking you until all you can remember is my name, not even yours" he starts moving his digits after fitting in another one of his long fingers, the slick pouring out of your cunt pooling onto his palms as your moans come out as squeals. Your brain is hazing with a pleasant pink, blue and red. All of the emotions overwhelming you.

"You look gorgeous, doll face" he kisses softly at the side of your lips when you start clenching around his fingers, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap.

"J-Jun.." you sigh, face flush with content, legs shaking, your form only being held up by his strong grip, his intense gaze making you feel so small, so vulnerable, all the tell-tale signs of your orgasm nearing you present as he accelerates his fingers, clearly catching onto the fact that you'd come undone any second.

"You gonna come for me, pretty? Am I making you feel good?" he grunts while nibbling at the lobe of your ears, digits moving so fast inside your calls that you can hear the squelching obscene voices of your walls over the loud music playing in the background, his palm constantly rubbing against your clit.

"Feel's so g-good, Jun.." You grip onto his forearm to keep you grounded as your orgasm washes over you. Your jaw slacks as you convulse around his fingers. Xiaojun cooing praises into your ears as he helps you ride out your orgasm, pulling you into a kiss as you push his fingers away when he slowly drives you into overstimulation.

"Fuck, you're perfect." he stares at you with adoration while you catch your breath. Forcing yourself to step out of your daze. You smile shyly until it turns into a sly smirk as you move your hands to grab at his painfully evident dent, slowly rasping out as you move closer to him,

"Your place or mine?"

The red never felt so satisfying to Xiaojun until now.

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aza-writes · 2 years

Text

Blood Red : Chapter 2

Rich, Red, Magnificent

TW: A LOT of blood talk and kinda pervert-ish and sex worker-ish talk.

New York : 2016

It's stuffy in here. There are so many people moving back and forth, running from place to place. I always heard stories about New York, the city that never sleeps. No wonder they call it that, it's 3 am and people are running around this airport like it's about to explode. I've learned not to trust people so I grip my suitcase and my passport a little tighter.

Is the passport real? No.

Does it look real? Hell yes.

The reason the passport is fake: technically I don't exist. According to Russia Aleksandra Nikitina died in 2008 with her parents, but Alice Solovyova is alive and well, she's also an American citizen.

I get shuffled into a line with a woman checking passports. I have been waiting for about half an hour now standing next to a kid who doesn't know how to cover when he sneezes. Gross. I know why Dreykov trained women, boys are disgusting.

Dreykov.

The thought of Dreykov makes my heart feel heavy, I start to feel sad but I shake my head at the thought. Sadness is weakness, he taught me that. I focus on replacing this sad feeling with anger, another thing Dreykov taught me. It isn't hard to replace my sadness since I have someone to be angry at; Natasha Romanov. She took Dreykov from me.

By no means was Dreykov a saint, but he had a soft spot for me. Natasha gave him a bad reputation. If you obeyed him, he rewarded you. We only hurt those who deserved it. I never deserved to be harmed so I was never harmed. It was that simple. I was his pride, the KGB's best fighter. I was the first to be chosen for the hardest missions. There was a joke going around that I should be called the Golden Widow.

Being Dreykov's favorite came with its perks. I was allowed to go to fancy galas, yes it was to be a bodyguard but I got to wear dresses and makeup without being undercover. I was allowed one nice meal and a glass of champagne. I was spoiled compared to the other girls, but I never knew if they liked me or not. We didn't have true emotions besides anger and aggression. We could sometimes feel sadness but we wouldn't tell anyone, or we would be punished. There were two types of punishment: torture and death. Of course, there were different levels of torture but sometimes people begged for death after what they went through. With my punishment- no, don't think about it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Repress and forget.

"Next!"

The lady's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I didn't realize I'd been staring off for 5 minutes. I stayed silent as I handed her my passport and a fake ID. The lady looked at my papers and then back to my face.

"Russia?"

"Yes ma'am." I did my best American accent, which was very good if I do say so myself.

"You're a fan of the cold huh?" Her small talk is absolutely pathetic. She's just here to wear out the clock like everyone else here. Americans are supposed to be nice so I put on a fake smile and try to not roll my eyes.

"Yes ma'am, I have family there." I smile trying to look innocent. God knows that my ledger doesn't just have blood in it, it's drowning with blood, smothered. Innocent is the complete opposite of me, in every sense of the word.

The lady hands me my papers back after stamping my passport. "Welcome back to the United States Ms. Solovyova." I smile and grab my papers. I can't get out of this hell while they call an airport fast enough.

• • • • • •

The taxi driver is my kind of guy; no talking, no bullshit. I have no place to go to, but fake it until you make it right? That should be America's motto. Everyone here is fake, it's disgusting and almost poetic. It reminds me of the cartoon movie with the superhero family. If everyone is fake, then no one is.

I look in my backpack to see how much money I have. $1,000. That's it. I have $1,000 to live off of in one of the most expensive cities in America. I need a way to make money as a female who stopped attending school years ago and has no skills other than ballet and how to kill someone without leaving evidence. Totally normal things for a 16-year-old to know how to do.

Finally, the driver stops at a run-down motel in Hell's Kitchen, the cheapest place I could find. I quickly grab my bags and toss the man his money, he's acting like a creep. Right on cue, I hear gunshots. I make a mental note of my surroundings before walking into the bacteria playground of a motel, my gun is tucked into the back of my jeans. After having another mind-numbing conversation with the mouth breather at the front desk I finally get to rest. After being awake for 72 hours, I get to lie on a bed. I don't know what possessed me but I giggled when I laid down on it. It has some sort of stuffing to it, making it automatically ten times better than I was predicting. I take out a pair of handcuffs and after fastening it to the bed, I clip the other side to my wrist. I remove the pillow from the bed and start to drift off to sleep. Old habits die hard.

• • • • • •

It's dark. I try to open my eyes but they feel like they're swollen shut. There's blood on me, some mine, some not. Footsteps are getting louder and louder until they stop. I can feel the person's body next to me, their breath against my face.

"Попробуй еще раз, где мальчик?"

(Try again, where is the boy?)

My breath gets caught in my throat.

"Я не знаю. Я так и не нашел его."

(I don't know. I never found him)

A sigh comes from the guard's lips. "Я верил в тебя." (I had faith in you). I hear him take his belt. "Подумай еще раз, Сложнее." (think again, harder).

I can hear the belt move back and swooshing towards my face, I try to brace for impact and-

My eyes open so fast that the room appears blurry. When they finally adjust I look at the alarm clock. 5:46 am. I groan. Only one and a half hours of sleep. I unlock myself from the handcuff going to grab the water bottle out of my bag when I hear the most obnoxious sound coming from the room next to me, a baby crying.

My water bottle is warm. I'm trying to think if it's worth it to go to the ice machine but that baby's whaling is distracting me.

Deep breaths, happy thoughts, happy things.

Okay, just go get ice and- OH FOR FUCK SAKE WILL THAT BABY SHUT UP

I shake my head, I'm over-tired and I need to sleep. I decided to walk outside to get some fresh air. As I step outside the sound of a baby crying is replaced with city sounds, mostly traffic. I don't pay too much attention to the sounds until I hear footsteps, not coming toward me, but there's a voice attached to them. It's foreign, but nothing exotic. Most likely Northwestern Europe. Most likely on the phone. He's speaking... mandarin? Definitely mandarin. I take a small peak around the corner and notice his suit. Expensive fabric, another warning sign. Why the fuck is there a European guy speaking mandarin outside of the motel I just so happen to be staying at? That doesn't add up.

I pull the gun out from the back of my jeans and slowly walk toward the voice. The sounds get momentarily distant, meaning his back is towards me. I take this opportunity to swing my legs up and around his neck, pulling him to the ground while knocking his phone out of his hand in the process. I wrap one arm around his neck, my legs pinning him close to my body so he can't move and I point my gun at his temple. "你为谁工作?" (Who do you work for?).

"你他妈的不关你的事" (none of your business)

"Fucking answer me. Or I swear I'll blow your brains out."

"Kinky." He smirks. What a pervert.

While he's giggling about his brilliant, note the sarcasm, joke I bring his face into my knee. "I'm a minor jackass."

"Makes you worth more amongst buyers." He then brings a hand up to grab my gun. I need information so don't shoot him, but I hit him with the end. He gets up and tries to grab me, he's starting to really piss me off now.

We went back and forth a bit then bam, I get him in the nose. Blood. Rich, red, magnificent blood. My throat gets dry, my eyes start to slowly dilate.

I wanna make him bleed more.

I aim for the mouth, if I knock out a tooth it'll poor from his lips. The world around him gets darker, and the man himself turns black and white. I can only see blood, the bright red is intoxicating to look at. I keep kicking and attacking with no end. I get his mouth, then his ear, and finally I got to knock him to the ground. I climb on top of him punishing him over and over and over and over again. I bet no one could recognize him, not even his mother. I smile slightly, no it's a full-on giddy grin. He's gasping for air, there's blood all over his face, my hands, and a bit on my face. I brush the hair out of his face. "Тсс, там, я буду милосерден" (Shhhh, there there, I'll be merciful). He tries to get out some words, but I grab the back of his head with one hand, then...

Snap.

"Oops." I spit on him. "Мать-ублюдок." (Mother fucker)

I look down and see all the blood. I caused that. My goofy smile returns. The smell is overwhelming my senses. The feeling on my fingers is better than silk. I haven't allowed myself to kill like this in so long that I'm almost too caught up to hear the car pull up behind me.

Keyword: almost

I look up to see two men, clearly pissed at me. I grab my gun with my right hand aiming it at one of the two men. The bad thing about going undercover is I'm limited to the guns I can carry at my disposal. I raise my left hand too, I have my taser bracelet on.

The man on my left pulled out his gun, As I'm about to fire my gun I feel a soft sting in my neck. Not this again. I shoot my taser at the man to my right, at least he drops. I turn and fire it at two other men: both drop. My throat becomes dry in a new way, not the good kind. I drop to the ground. I start to cough. The men are talking, I think in English, but my mind is too fuzzy to comprehend anything. What I can comprehend are four blurry bodies. Oh fuck. I could have never taken seven men alone. T-that was... that was what was was good about the Widow p-p-p-program, we were never alone.

• • • • • •

Masterlists

#matt murdock x oc #wilson fisk #daredevil x oc #matt murdock #the defenders #the punisher x oc #matt murdock x reader #natasha romanoff #the punisher #daredevil #frank castle x oc #foggy nelson #blood red #frank castle #yelena belova

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rafael-silva · 4 years

Text

found a home in you: a tarlos fic

The fire had been small and easy to extinguish, but as a precaution, Owen had sent TK to do a walk around the house to make sure it was out and everything was secure.

TK carefully inspects the side of the house, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.

He’s about to move on once he’s satisfied that everything is fine, but stops in his tracks when he hears a low whimper. It’s so small and frightened, he would have missed it if his foot had crunched the fallen leaves littered on the ground as he moved.

Alternatively: The last thing TK expected to hear during his walk around a house after a call, were low whimpers and cries coming from a nearby bush.

for the good things happen bingo: tarlos + adopting a pet

established tk strand/carlos reyes, fluff, team as family, soft carlos reyes, soft tk strand, domestic fic, cuddles, kisses, comfort, this is really 5.3k of pure fluff

5.3k | on ao3

*****

“Strand, report.”

TK presses down on the button to reply, momentarily sending static through the radio. “All good on the south, east and north sides, Cap. Moving to the west side now.”

The fire had been small and easy to extinguish, but as a precaution, Owen had sent TK to do a walk around the house to make sure it was out and everything was secure.

TK carefully inspects the side of the house, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. He’s about to move on once he’s satisfied that everything is fine, but stops in his tracks when he hears a low whimper. It’s so small and frightened, he would have missed it if his foot had crunched the fallen leaves littered on the ground beneath him.

He hears more whines. Careful of his speed and movements, TK follows the sounds, eventually leading him to a nearby bush. He switches on the flashlight attached to his turnout coat and shines the light into the shrub. He spots little movements, and then his eyes land on a small puppy, visibly shaking, trying to move through the tight space while looking at him with a fearful gaze.

TK’s face immediately softens and his heart grows a little at seeing the puppy.

Before he can move or say anything else, his radio comes to life and the sudden noise spooks the puppy and makes it retreat a little in the small space.

“TK, almost done?”

“Yeah, Cap. I’ll be just a minute,” TK replies.

The puppy is still looking at TK with an alarmed expression.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” TK speaks with a gentle tone, kneeling to be closer to the puppy, his movements slow and calculated. “You’re safe now.”

The puppy seems to relax the slightest bit at hearing TK’s voice, knowing it’s directed at it. However, still on edge though, the puppy still looks scared.

TK takes a look around, hoping to find anyone in the vicinity but quickly discovers it’s just him. Making up his mind, he takes off his turnout coat and lays it on the ground next to him, which proves to be the easy part. Sitting on his knees, he carefully reaches into the bush, aiming for the puppy but each time he gets close, the puppy’s cries get louder. Instinctively, TK pulls back and then tries again. After a few times, he manages to delicately wrap his hand around the puppy, pulling it out of the bush through its screaming and fidgeting. TK supposes the screaming could mean one of two things: the puppy has never been held before, so the human touch is foreign to it or the puppy has a negative connection with said human touch. The second option breaks TK’s heart a little.

He then efficiently wraps the puppy in his coat and holds it close to his chest. Although he could still hear some whimpering, the puppy seems to calm down a little at being held this way. It’s a warm Austin day, the sun’s heat bouncing off surfaces in the hot atmosphere, but TK supposes the puppy hasn’t felt the kind of warmth that comes with being gently held before.

“Hey, what’s that?” Paul asks when TK emerges, being the first to notice the little lump in TK’s arms.

Before TK can reply, the puppy’s little head sneaks out through the fabric, slightly intrigued by the new sound that is Paul’s voice.

“No way!” Mateo’s face lights up, his voice filled with excitement at seeing the puppy.

It’s clear the new stimuli and voices scare the puppy a little, because it turns its head towards TK again, looking for reassurance.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he smiles at the puppy, then to the crew: “Found this adorable little girl while doing the walk around.”

Judd’s the first to approach TK and the puppy, a smile spread on his face. “Hey, sweetheart.” He slowly extends his arm and pets her a few times. She’s still shaken but doesn’t cry at Judd’s touch.

“Do you mind for a sec?” TK asks Judd.

“Not at all,” Judd replies.

TK then carefully hands the puppy over to Judd, watching as Judd does the same as he did and holds her close and she snuggles against him. And the sight of seeing a big man like Judd cradling a tiny puppy against his chest is enough to melt any heart.

TK jogs over to Owen. “Can I ask around real quick?” He gestures to the crowd of onlookers that have gathered near the house.

“Sure,” Owen nods.

However, the peace is short lived, and at noticing TK’s absence, the puppy starts whimpering loudly and fidgeting in Judd’s hold. “I think she wants TK,” the Texan says as the rest of the team gather around to watch the puppy.

“Aw, she’s already attached to him,” Marjan says, her voice calm and playful.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Judd says lightly to the puppy. “TK will be back in a second.”

TK joins them a few minutes later. “She’s not anyone’s puppy, no one has seen her before.”

“Well, I guess that means she's coming back with us,” Judd says as he hands her back to TK. “Besides, she’s already attached to you, man.”

“Hey, come here,” TK coos, adjusting her against his chest. Being back in TK’s arms stops the whimpering coming from the puppy.

They hear Owen announce that it’s time to go and they all start piling into the firetruck, TK is the last one to get in, sitting by the window as Owen closes the door and hops into the front. The start of the big, loud engine startles the puppy and she starts shaking again, TK instantly runs his hand gently over her small body, trying to reassure her and calm her down. It works after a few minutes, and it seems like she grows a little braver because she’s climbing out of TK’s coat and taking a look outside the window as the city goes by in a blur.

TK still has a firm hold on her, and he’s looking down at her with a smile.

“Oh, this is just way too cute,” Paul speaks up, followed by him snapping more than a few pictures on his phone.

“Buttercup is at the firehouse today,” Mateo points out.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Marjan replies. “He’s the sweetest boy.”

“He is,” Owen joins the conversation. “But I guess we’ll find out his tendency towards jealously.”

“Yeah,” Paul agrees. “We all know how he is when it comes to his favorite person and how protective he gets.”

All eyes turn to TK at Paul’s words.

TK playfully rolls his eyes and chuckles. “It’s gonna be fine. If anything, I think he’s going to be super protective and loving towards this little girl.”

The truck is parked in the firehouse ten minutes later, and everyone jumps out while TK cautiously steps down.

“Alright, everyone, you know your chores,” Owen instructs. “TK, you take care of this little girl, get some towels, set them up for her and pour her some milk into a bowl and fill another one with water.”

TK nods and makes his way up the stairs, securing his hold on her as he ascends the steps.

He puts her down on the towels until he gets the water and milk for her, but as soon as he walks away, she starts crying and takes small steps in an effort to follow TK into the kitchen.

TK smiles when he notices and leans down to pick her up. He moves around the kitchen to retrieve a couple of bowls and then opens the fridge to take out the milk, using one hand to get everything ready.

Once the milk and water are set near the towels, she manages to take a few licks of both before she’s going back to TK.

“Alright, come here,” TK leans back against the cushion, settling her on his chest. She snuggles against his AFD t-shirt and closes her eyes.

TK keeps running his palm over her body, both to keep her calm and to make sure she’s clean until he takes her to the vet.

The ringing of his phone wakes her up, but doesn’t scare her too much. She’s clearly content in TK’s care.

TK smiles as he reads the caller ID.

“Hey, babe,” TK answers, the smile evident in his voice.

“Hi, baby,” comes Carlos’s reply.

“How’s your day been?”

“Fine,” Carlos replies. “Went on patrol for a few hours and back at the station now. Lunch break. How’s your shift been?”

“Last call was interesting,” TK responds.

“Yeah? How’s the puppy?” Carlos asks, and TK can practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“You heard already?”

“Yeah,” Carlos chuckles. “Not heard as much as saw. Paul sent me a couple of pictures.”

“Ah,” TK mirrors Carlos’s chuckle.

“It may be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” Carlos adds, affection radiating through his voice.

“She’s so small, Carlos,” TK says, his voice filled with awe. “She was so scared and she was shaking so much. She cried when I have her to Judd for a minute.”

“She feels safe with you. I know the feeling,” Carlos expresses, his tone filled with love.

A blush colors TK’s cheeks as he continues running his hand over the puppy’s short fur.

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s currently asleep,” TK replies. “Hold on.”

TK expertly snaps a selfie, showing him comfortably lying back against the cushions and the puppy propped up on his chest, fast asleep with a peaceful look on her little face.

“Check your messages,” TK tells Carlos once he sends it.

It takes Carlos a few seconds to reply. “My heart is exploding with how cute this is, Ty.”

TK chuckles.

“I have to go back to work,” Carlos says with some sadness. “But I’ll pass by the firehouse after my shift.”

It was one of the days Carlos finishes work before TK, and he’d usually head home right after, making dinner for them and waiting for his boyfriend to come home. But the puppy definitely calls for a slight change in plans.

“Okay, babe. Can’t wait to see you. Be careful, please.”

“I will,” Carlos promises. “Can’t wait to see you too, babe. And be careful, too.”

Once they end their phone call, TK looks up and sees Owen approach him with a small smile on his face. On cue, the puppy wakes up and stretches her tiny legs, letting out a yawn and then settles her eyes on TK.

“Hi, sweetheart,” TK smiles back at her.

“Can I?” Owen asks, gesturing to the puppy.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” TK nods. “But beware, she may not like it, given her track record with everyone. Don’t take it personally, though,” he adds with a chuckle.

The puppy proves TK right, because she lets out a cry as soon as she’s off TK’s chest. Owen raises an eyebrow and gently puts her back down, watching as she stops crying.

“It’s kinda hard to not take it personally,” Owen jokes. “I’m glad she feels safe with you.”

TK nods. “I’m getting attached to her, too. But we need to find out if her family is looking for her.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Carlos and I are off tomorrow, we can take her to the vet and check if she has a microchip. We can take it from there, and see what the options are if she doesn’t have a chip,” TK explains. “And for tonight, I was thinking of taking her back home with me, if Carlos would be okay with that.” TK takes a hold of the puppy, moving her up and steadies her against his collarbone, she snuggles there and pushes her face into TK’s neck, making him giggle as her nose brushes against one of his ticklish spots.

Owen nods. “That sounds like a good plan.” He spots movement from the corner of his eye and turns to look over his shoulder.

Buttercup makes his way into the space and goes straight to TK.

“Hey, buddy,” Owen says, petting Buttercup’s soft fur. “We have someone for you to meet. Let’s see how this goes.”

Buttercup looks between TK and Owen, his eyes questioning and then landing on the puppy.

Buttercup sniffs once and then twice and gets closer to her.

TK feels the puppy’s muscles tensing under his touch as she moves and sits up, looking at the older dog with wide eyes.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” TK reassures the puppy with a soft voice, gently rubbing her back.

Owen slowly takes out his phone, careful of his movements so he doesn’t spook either dog. He opens the camera app and starts recording a video.

Buttercup sniffs a few more times, watching the puppy closely and then looks back up at TK again, his brown eyes speaking a thousand words.

Buttercup licks the side of the puppy’s face, and TK’s face splits into the biggest smile. He can feel her start to relax, too.

“There we go,” TK speaks. “You like her, huh, bud?” He ruffles Buttercup’s fur.

Buttercup’s response is a wagging his tail and giving TK a smile.

“Good boy,” Owen laughs, dropping a kiss to Buttercup’s head.

TK gets to his feet, Buttercup’s eyes trailed on him, and he takes a few steps away from the couch into the open area, Buttercup on his heels. TK puts the puppy down on the floor, and instead of crying this time, she gravitates towards Buttercup.

TK’s face lights up at the bond being forged between the two dogs. He watches as Buttercup walks over to the rug and plops down, the puppy following his steps and circles around a few times before settling down between Buttercup’s parted front legs, snuggling against his fur. Buttercup rubs his head against her little body in response and then lowers his head to the ground.

“He’s definitely her biggest fan now,” TK chuckles.

Owen nods with a smile on his face.

TK takes out his phone and captures a few pictures. He then opens his text thread with Carlos and attaches one of the photos.

TK: [attachment: 1 image]

TK: Puppy and Buttercup introduction is a success.

TK: More than a success, actually. They’re best friends now.

*****

Carlos parks his Camaro on the side of the firehouse, keeping the truck’s path clear. He walks in through the bay doors, dressed in his civvies, and spots Judd coming down the stairs. The firefighter notices him at the same time.

“Hey, Reyes,” Judd smiles, meeting Carlos halfway.

“Hey, Judd,” Carlos replies.

Judd gestures to the stairs behind him. “Your boy is upstairs with the newest addition to the crew.”

Carlos laughs. “An adorable addition.”

Judd nods, “damn right. Already has everyone wrapped around her little paws. Go join them, I’ll be back up in a sec.”

Carlos nods and takes the stairs. He follows the echoes of “aww” and the chuckles that come after until he steps into the living area, where everyone is seated (some of them on the couch, others on arms of said couch) while watching Buttercup and the puppy play together in the center.

It’s such a heartwarming sight, it could uplift anyone in a matter of seconds.

Carlos feels a smile take over his face, chuckling himself when the puppy pushes her body upwards and sets her front legs against Buttercup’s nose in an attempt to get the big dog to play with her. It seems Buttercup understands the size difference between them, because he’s gently nudging her sideways until she jumps back on the floor.

The puppy seems to be satisfied with that because once again, her excitement shows as she jumps on Buttercup again.

Carlos’s chuckle draws attention to him.

“Hey, Carlos,” Marjan says first as everyone turns to face the officer.

“Hey, guys,” Carlos responds, his eyes catching TK’s green ones.

“Hi, babe,” TK gets to his feet and walks around the dogs (who both look at him when he gets up, eyes questioning and follow his movement) and to his boyfriend.

He wraps his arms around Carlos in a tight embrace, Carlos’s own arms holding TK tightly.

“Hi, baby.”

TK brushes a kiss to Carlos’s lips when they pull back. “Rest of your shift went okay?”

“Yeah,” Carlos nods. “All went fine.”

“Good. Come on.” TK takes Carlos’s hand and leads him to the couch.

Satisfied that TK isn’t going anywhere, Buttercup and the puppy continue playing together.

TK snuggles into Carlos’s side, an arm wrapped around his waist while Carlos has his arm wrapped around TK’s shoulder.

“She’s so much cuter in person,” Carlos says with awe. “She’s so small. I want to hold her.”

“She only lets TK carry her,” Marjan warns him. “She cries if anyone else tries to.”

Carlos shares a quick look with TK. TK silently telling him go for it.

Carlos shrugs and gets up, carefully and slowly approaching the puppy.

She watches him with a wary look as he gets closer, but she doesn’t flinch away or hide.

And she proves everyone wrong when she doesn’t cry as Carlos picks her up. He holds her in his arms and right away, she’s cuddling against his chest, content and happy. She closes her eyes when Carlos begins running his hand over her body.

“Oh, now I’m officially jealous,” Paul quips.

That draws a collective chuckle from everyone.

TK gets up, stands next to Carlos and places his hand on Carlos’s arm.

“It’s easy to feel safe with you, too, babe,” TK’s smile widens and there’s so much softness and love in his gaze as he watches Carlos with the puppy.

Carlos turns his head towards TK and plants a kiss to the firefighter’s temple.

The bell goes off moments later, echoing through the firehouse and making the puppy startle and shake against Carlos’s hold.

“Hey, hey, babygirl,” Carlos soothes, “it’s okay. I got you.”

Carlos continues running his hand over her fur as the crew start filing out. TK hesitates for a moment, looking at his team rushing down the steps and getting into their gear.

“I’ll stay,” Carlos says, reading TK’s mind.

“Okay, thank you,” TK nods.

Carlos closes the distance between them and plants a tender kiss against TK’s lips.

“Please be careful.”

“Promise.”

Carlos watches TK leave, catching up with the rest of the team and jumping into the firetruck. Once the truck is out of sight, the officer looks down to see that Buttercup had gotten up and walked over to him.

Making sure the puppy is supported against his chest, Carlos frees a hand and pats Buttercup’s head.

“Come on, buddy,” Carlos says, moving back to sit on the couch.

Buttercup follows and settles by Carlos’s feet.

*****

The call goes smoothly but it takes more time than expected. The team is out for a couple of hours, returning to the house tired and in need of showers all around.

TK watches as everyone makes a beeline towards the showers, but he makes his way to where he left Carlos instead. He wants to see Carlos before showering, and he knows the officer would want to see him too, to make sure he’s okay.

He’s about to call out for Carlos but stops the words short on his tongue when his eyes land on his boyfriend. A smile is immediately breaking on TK’s face, heart swelling with love at the sight. Carlos is lying back on the couch, similar to how TK was in the selfie, with the puppy asleep on his chest, in the officer’s protective hold. His eyes doesn’t miss how Buttercup is also asleep by Carlos’s feet.

TK fishes his phone out and takes more than a few pictures, setting one of them as his phone’s home screen.

He’s about to retreat to the showers when Carlos stirs a little. TK likes to think they sense each other’s presence, and Carlos most definitely agrees.

TK walks over to his boyfriend, dropping a soft kiss to his forehead. “Hey, babe.”

That gets Carlos to fully wake up, blinking his eyes quickly to get rid of the sleep as he looks up at TK.

“Hi, babe,” Carlos clears his throat. “Everything went okay?”

TK nods. “Took a while, but everything and everyone is fine. Got an hour left for shift.”

It’s Carlos’s turn to nod, and looks down at the still-sleeping puppy.

“You two are adorable,” TK chuckles. “I’m gonna hit the shower real quick and I’ll be right back.”

TK returns less than thirty minutes later in a fresh uniform and smelling like Carlos’s body wash. The officer smiles when he notices and lifts an arm for TK, which TK happily sits in front of and leans into Carlos’s side.

The puppy is still asleep, and not wanting to wake her up, TK settles for placing his hand on the side of Carlos’s chest, his hand rising and falling with Carlos’s even breaths.

“So, I was thinking,” TK stars, a speck of nervousness coating his voice, “would you be okay with taking her home until we find out if she has a chip tomorrow at the vet?” He pauses, studying Carlos. “And we can take it from there.”

Carlos gives TK a gentle smile, lighting up his brown irises. “Yeah, of course. Can’t imagine leaving her anywhere else. She feels safe with us.”

TK responds by kissing Carlos’s cheek.

Both their attentions are grabbed when the puppy wakes up and gives the cutest little yawn either of them have ever seen. She does like Carlos, but her eyes still dart around, and Carlos can feel her excitement when they land on TK.

Carlos chuckles.

“Hey, sweetheart, come here,” TK says, reaching out to carefully lift her off Carlos’s chest and holds her close to his own.

“You look good with a puppy,” Carlos’s eyes glitter with affection.

“You look good yourself,” TK replies with the same look in his green ones.

*****

“Well, that was a bust,” TK sighs, pushing the condo door open and walking in, Carlos right behind him.

“Yeah,” Carlos says, closing the door and setting the crate on the floor near the couch.

They were returning from their vet appointment, both to check on the puppy’s general health and to look for a chip as planned. The vet had told them that she was in good shape, a little undernourished, but with a good diet, she’ll be fine. However, no chip was to be found.

TK pushes out another sigh and drops onto the couch, running a hand over his face.

Carlos hovers near, still standing and slips his hands into his front jean pockets. “Maybe it’s best we give her to the local shelter? Maybe they can help find her owner.”

TK stays silent for a few moments before he’s shaking his head. “What if they can't find them? I can’t just hand her over and not know what’s going to happen.”

TK’s eyes are filled to the brim with sadness, a heavy pang echoing inside his chest.

“Yeah,” Carlos speaks a moment later, joining TK on the couch. “Neither can I.”

TK knew that there was a possibility of finding her owner, and he knew that returning her would be difficult. But he also knew that it would be a good thing, that it meant that she has a family out there, that she’s known love and warmth. But with no chip, the odds of those things being a reality aren’t as high. It’s true not everyone immediately chips their dogs, and TK will do everything he can to find her owner if they exist. But another reality sets in, a truer reality, and it breaks TK’s heart a little. A reality which he speaks next.

“She’s lost,” TK whispers, his eyes drifting to the puppy sleeping in the crate.

He’s playing with the strings of his hoodie, the nervous energy surging through his veins evident in his hand movements. Carlos knows TK’s habits when he’s feeling worried or anxious, and it all revolves around his slightly shaking hands.

Carlos reaches out, taking TK’s hands into his own in an attempt to comfort TK and lessen the trembling.

“Hey,” Carlos says, his voice quiet and soft. “She found you, she found us.”

“She’s really attached to us, Carlos,” TK turns to face the larger man with pleading eyes. “Giving her to the shelter will scare her even more.”

Carlos nods. “Okay. We’ll go back and see what the options are.”

*****

They return a couple of hours later after visiting the shelter. Turns out, even if the dog isn’t microshipped, the owner (wherever they may be) still has a legal hold of the dog for a period of time. If the owner does not show up after that time is done, the dog becomes available for adoption. Carlos and TK were given three options:

Give her to the shelter and she’d be put up for adoptions after the legal hold is up.

Give her to the shelter and put their names down for first rights to adopt her if her owner doesn’t show up.

Be a shelter-at-home foster to keep her out of the shelter during the legal hold and they’d be able to adopt her if her owner doesn’t show up after the time is done.

In all three cases, they were encouraged, along with the shelter, to look for her owner.

After sharing one look with Carlos, TK said they’ll take her home.

And here they were, an hour later, watching her sleep in the fluffy bed they bought her, along with some toys (both of them couldn’t resist buying the cute toys they found) scattered around her. She had played a little with a small squeaky ball until she tired herself out.

TK puts his phone down after sending a text to his dad with updates just as Carlos places a steaming mug of tea in front of the firefighter.

TK smiles in appreciation and moves into Carlos’s space once the officer sits next to him. TK is lying on his side, with his back resting against Carlos’s chest and is enveloped in Carlos’s arms. Carlos soothingly runs his thumb over TK’s skin to help relax his boyfriend.

A movie is playing on TV but neither man is paying much attention to it.

TK breaks the silence. “What if no one shows up for her?”

Carlos drops his head a little to kiss the top of TK’s head. He has a feeling TK isn’t finished speaking, so he remains silent.

TK continues a moment later. “Also, what if someone does show up for her? I know we’ve only had her for a couple of days but I kind of can’t imagine not having her now. The attachment is…strong,” he expresses.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” comes Carlos’s voice from above.

“She only let me and you carry her…that’s gotta mean something, a sign. It feels like she chose us,” TK says, looking up at Carlos, so much vulnerability drawn on his face.

“It does,” Carlos agrees. “It’s gonna be hard if someone shows up for her, but that would also be a good thing, Ty. It would mean that she already has a home, maybe even siblings.”

Hearing Carlos voice the same thoughts that had been running through TK’s own mind just days ago helps make him feel a little lighter. Because they are true, it would be a good thing if her owner shows up and a smile flashes across TK’s face at the thought of the puppy having siblings, all of them running around and playing together. It’s a happy thought.

But there’s always the other possibility.

“And if no one shows?” TK’s voice is slow, as he treads lightly.

“Well, like you said, she chose us.”

TK moves at Carlos’s words, sitting up so he can properly face his boyfriend as he asks his next question. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He can’t help the dash of hope that rings in his voice, a smile desperately tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“We become dog dads,” Carlos confirms with his own smile, leaning in and brushing a kiss to TK’s cheek.

The smile that overtakes TK’s face is blinding, his eyes lighting up and joy surges through his veins. He closes the distance between them again with pressing his lips against Carlos’s, and Carlos chuckles into the kiss before returning it.

And TK knows in his heart that no matter what happens over the next few days, the puppy will be well taken care of.

*****

“Ready?”

TK and Carlos find themselves back the shelter two weeks later. No one had reached out in regards to the puppy, so as soon as the legal hold up was done, they immediately jumped at starting the adoption process. It all went by smoothly, and after an interview and a home inspection, they were officially declared fit to adopt her.

TK couldn’t contain his excitement, and it made Carlos beam at his boyfriend’s eagerness and joy, which added to the officer’s own happiness, too.

“Ready,” TK replies to Carlos.

And then they’re both sign each of their forms in unison.

“Congratulations,” the lady behind the desk smiles at them. “And you little miss,” she turns to the puppy sitting in the crate on the desk. “You have a family of your own now.”

TK feels like jumping with joy, and he does. Carlos chuckles at how TK bounces a little on the heels of his feet and thanks the woman.

“Here,” Carlos says as he reaches into the tote bag sitting at his feet.

TK’s eyes soften when he sees Carlos holding out a small, red collar.

“I thought you should be the one to put it on her,” Carlos expresses, his expression as equally soft.

“Babe,” TK whispers.

Carlos turns to open the crate and gently carries the puppy and holds her against his chest. She’s facing TK with a smile of her own. She knows what just happened.

TK unclips the collar and pulls at it until it fits her neck, then clips is there and smiles at her.

He grabs his phone and opens the camera, pointing it at Carlos and their puppy.

Carlos holds her higher against his chest and looks at TK.

It’s probably TK’s favorite picture of all time.

*****

The ride home after a trip to the pet store is filled with positive energy as soft music blasts through the Camaro’s speakers, TK sitting in the passenger seat with the puppy on his lap. They had agreed on her name.

Once parked in front of the condo, TK carefully gets out of the car, balancing her in his arms as Carlos grabs some of the new things they bought for her, leaving the rest to be retrieved later, including bowls, food and two playpens: one for their home and one for the firehouse.

They had talked to Owen a few days earlier about bringing the puppy to the firehouse on the days they’re both working, and Owen had instantly agreed. He had also said that he’ll be bringing Buttercup by the firehouse more frequently, too, so the two dogs could spend time together.

The 126 group chat had erupted with excitement when TK texted them those details.

Carlos pushes the door open and walks in, lowering everything he’s carrying to the floor and steps to the side to let TK in, closing the door after him.

“Welcome home, Luna,” TK announces with a big smile, placing her on the floor.

She looks up at both men, her little tail wagging from side to side and earns herself chuckles from Carlos and TK as she starts running around the living room.

“She feels more at ease now,” Carlos says.

“Her energy level is definitely showing now,” TK adds with another chuckle.

Carlos moves closer to TK and wraps his arms around him from behind.

“She found a home in you,” Carlos kisses TK’s temple.

TK leans back into Carlos’s hold, covering the officer’s arms with his own hands.

“She found a home in us,” TK rejoices.

116 notes · View notes

heyheyloki · 4 years

Text

You That I Want

Sugawara x M!Reader

Word Count: 10,000+

1. The Meeting

There was something about the school library that always grabbed your attention. It was quiet, peaceful. Those were factors, sure, but another plus was that people didn’t judge if one was alone or not in a place like that. It gave you comfort.

Being a first-year at Karasuno wasn’t something that got to you. It wasn’t like you didn’t have any friends or didn’t do good in school. In fact, you had quite a few friends, even some admirers, and you were a straight-A student. Nailing almost all your tests and quizzes that come around in any class. It was just that, at some points in your life, you needed to be alone. To not be bothered after getting hassled all day was something that gave you peace of mind to not explode on the spot, especially when it came to love-confessions.

There were very few people in the rather large area, but that just made it better for you. Most people after school tended to have clubs, hang with friends, or just go straight home. You tended to either sit in the middle of the place, if there were no more open seats, but if it was raining, like on a day like this, you’d tend to prefer the window seats. It was easy to calm down when you heard the patter of rain hitting the glass, and you quite enjoyed watching the droplets move down the window. It was captivating.

You let out a sigh as you released yourself from the spell that bound you to the glass. Standing up from your seat, you moved around the library, wondering what you should take up for the time being. You didn’t want something too long, but nothing too short either. Something entertaining, yet informative as well.

Before you knew it, you were searching around the sports section. You had some experience with sports, after all, you played football for a bit in middle school. It wasn’t something you enjoyed, hence why you don’t play anymore, but you were fond of sports itself. Your eyes lingered around at the spines of the books, your head leaning to the side a bit to read the text that was typed out on the hard cover.

It wasn’t until you saw a book a few feet up on the higher shelf that caught your attention. It was something about a famous baseball player, the book seemed small enough to read before you headed home, and you enjoyed the sport. So, you reached your hand up, brushing the bottom of it with the tips of your fingers. You bit your inner cheek, it was obvious how close you were, but just lacking at least an inch or two on your height to get it without issue.

Just as you were about to give up and search for some kind of stepping stool, an unfamiliar hand suddenly appeared in sight and grabbed the book you were aiming for without an issue. You paused for a moment, trying to understand what just happened. Though, your eyes were decided to the hand that appeared out of nowhere and followed it until it came back to its owners side.

You stared with beady, unblinking eyes at the guy in front of you. First off, he was taller than you by that missing inch or two. He had a slender build, slightly thick eyebrows that matched that light-grey hair that sat on his head. He held kind, hazel orbs and wore a gentle smile while he gazed at you.

“You looked like you were having some trouble,” he said in a sweet, honey soaked voice that snapped you back into reality. “Here.”

“Oh, thanks.” You hummed out as you took the book from the unknown boy. He did seem older than you, just by his demeanor, but then again, you didn’t want to make some kind of rude assumption.

“Hm?” The unknown male hummed, his head leaning a bit on a tilt as he analyzed you. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. Are you a first-year?”

“I am,” you said with a soft smile as you told the upperclassmen your name, bowing a bit out of respect.

He smiled and nodded. “My name’s Koshi Sugawara. I’m a third-year, so, if you need anything just let me know.”

“Sure, thank you again.” You said once more before watching the young man give you a gentle smile and wave you off as he left. You couldn’t help but feel like you heard his name before, but you thought it was just a mistake.

2. Gossip

It wasn’t everyday that you say’d in the classroom after school, but you thought a nap before heading home would be more appropriate here than anywhere else in the school. It was always loud in the gyms, and you felt rude taking a nap in the library. Though, with the classroom, most kids have left and the others that hang around try to get homework done quietly. Today, was a bit different however.

“Kageyama!” A voice yelled out. It was loud, higher pitched than most, but you knew who it was.

You turned your head, strands of your hand invading your handsome features and along your arms that crossed over on your desk for a make-shift pillow. Your gaze locked on the two boys by the window. They were both first-years like you, obviously, but even with that fact and that you several classes with them, you didn’t know much about them besides their names.

Shoyo Hinata, a short loud mouth who seemed to made up for his lack in height with his big mouth and Tobio Kageyama, he was quiet and reserved. He struck you as someone who was rather arrogant though. You didn’t mind them necessarily, but they didn’t seem like people you would surround yourself with.

“What?” Kageyama asked the short, orange haired male.

“Sugawara wants us to practice with Tanaka, you, and I tomorrow morning, isn’t that so cool of him?” Hinata said with a cherry smile.

While normally you wouldn’t bother with listening to the two, the name pulled your attention ever closer to them. It seemed like they were all on a sports team together, or at least a club. You weren’t so sure what they did, not like it mattered, but you guessed it had something that took quite some energy. After all, you knew Hinata as this guy with so much energy that he literally shakes in his seat. It was distracting, but after a bit you found it entertaining.

You wanted to listen in more, maybe even figure out what they all played. Though, before you could hear any more words that came out passed their lips your body flinched. The sudden touch of hands on your shoulders caused something of a quiet gasp to leave your throat.

You eyed down the familiar face behind you that just held a proud smile like he actually did something funny.

“Oh man, you should have seen your face!” You friend yelled out as he held onto his stomach, laughing.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that?” You questioned as you stood up from your desk, eyes naturally drawing to you as you spoke. You knew where this was going, and honestly, you just wanted to go home.

“Relax, pretty boy,” your friend whined as he threw his arm over your shoulders. “Come watch the girl’s volleyball practice game with me!”

“Do I have too?” You asked with a deadpanned tone. You didn’t not like to watch your school’s team practice. It was just you didn’t have in interest in the girl’s volleyball team.

“Yes, you do!” He huffed out before dragging you out of the classroom. Though, before you left, you eyed down Hinata and Kageyama. Both of them looking at you with something foreign in their eyes. Something that both made you pissed off, and yet ashamed at the same time.

3. You Again

It was days like these, the rainy ones, that always caught your attention. Either that, or made you sleepy. Today, it was the latter.

You watched out the classroom window with droopy eye as your head was held up by the palm of your hand, elbow planted on your desk. Normally, your mind would be racing with what you should do after school, but on these days, your mind would be totally empty. In a way, it was peaceful. Though, on the opposite side of it, it also made you space. So much so that now, you sat in your desk, eyes still staring out the window with this distant look in your eyes while everyone else has either gone home or went to do their after school club activities.

You came out of it a few minutes later though, so it wasn’t a big deal. But, you definitely would have been in that state for way longer if you didn’t hear someone call out a name. It wasn’t yours per say, but you didn’t exactly know who was talking. Well, you did, but you couldn’t ID the voice until you saw his face.

That third-year from the other day. You remembered his name as Sugawara.

The way your eyes wouldn’t let go of him as he looked around your classroom like a parent looking for their child was something unexpected of you. It wasn’t everyday that someone could hold your attention for so long.

After a second or two of not seeing who he was looking for, he noticed you. In that moment, his eyes widened with familiarity. “Oh, it’s you!”

You leaned your head a bit as he started to approach you, a rain coat over his normal school cloths that made a small smile flicker onto your lips.

“Yeah, it’s me.” You stated with a mischievous glance as you stared at the third-year. Getting a better and longer look at him now, he really did have a pretty face. Hell, he might even rival you for pretty boy award. Though, for you, it was that mole under his right eye that did it for you.

“So you’re in class with Kageyama and Hinata?” He suddenly asked. It was odd to you how he knew those names, but then the other day completely hit you like a bullet. They were in the same after school club, of course he knew them.

“Yeah,” you simply put, remembering how he called out their names when he first walked in before you asked, “you looking for them or something?”

“Oh, yeah, I was gonna let them know that practice was canceled after school since they’re doing inspections on the gym.” Sugawara said with that same gentle smile he had on the first time you two met. “But I guess they’ll find out when they get there.”

You nodded before checking the time. It was one of those days. You seriously should quit, especially since you were a first-year, but it paid well and you liked your boss. Plus, it wasn’t like you had anything else to do. As you stood up and began to pack up your things you said, “I’m sure they’ll be bummed, but maybe they can practice at home if they can.”

“You heading home?” Sugawara asked curiously as he watched your hands carefully as you placed notebooks and pens back into your bag.

“No, I have work.” You confessed as you slung your school bag over your shoulder.

“Really? You are a first year, right?” Sugawara asked, it was obvious how much he didn’t believe you for a second.

“I am, but it’s not like I’m in a club or anything.” You explained. “Instead, I work. It’s about ten minutes or so from the school by foot. It’s that little convenience store.”

You watched as Sugawara’s disbelief twisted into surprise, his chestnut orbs shining with knowledge before asking with confidence, “Sakanoshita?”

You nodded. “That’s the one.”

“I’m actually heading there right now, why don’t we walk together?” He asked with a bright smile that paled in comparison with the moonlight from a full moon. It really did take you a minute to compose yourself before responding with a calm and collected, “Sure, sounds nice.”

4. New Beginnings

For some, people can be lonely without being alone. You just happened to be part of that ‘some’ category. You were never left alone at school unless you were on your morning walks or hide away in the library after school. Today was no different.

You tried your best, really, you did. You wanted to get before they got here. You needed to get out of that damn classroom everyone knew you were in before they got there. You even packed up your stuff a minute before the bell, but sadly, that still wasn’t enough. As you took your first step away from your desk, a higher pitcher voice called your name with nothing but pure excitement and infatuation.

You froze for a moment, pondering if you could just run and go home. Then again, if you did, it would be more of a pain in the ass than if you just got it over with now. So, you turned to see a group of three girls. The one in the front, waving at you, you knew since middle school. You didn’t have an issue with her but more so the two in the back who looked shyly away from your gaze with blush rising on their pale features.

The middle girl ran up to you, her pitch black hair swaying behind her with a happy smile present on her features. “Hey! The girls and I wanna know if you wanna go watch the boy’s volleyball practice? I heard they started to really rise back up in terms of rank since, like, forever!”

“Oh,” you muttered out in surprise. It wasn’t often something shocked you anymore when it came to school. But you did remember when the Karasuno was considered a powerhouse school, hell, they even went to Nationals one year. Still, you had to say, watching the boy’s volleyball practice was not what you were expecting. “Sure, I don’t mind, should be fun.”

“Great!” Your friend shouted in glee before walking side by side with you, chatting up about what kinda team you were going to see.

Though, for once, you didn’t notice a two pair of eyes that watched and listened to everything about the conversation you held mere moments ago. They both gazed at each other with unblinking eyes, complete shock filling up in their veins before both sprinted out of the classroom towards the gym.

Both of them ran into people as they sprinted down the hall, sometimes forgetting why they were even doing this as they got into a race with each other. The ‘who can warn the team first’ kinda thing. They get yelled at here and there by both teachers and students, but that wasn’t going to stop them. For once, they were going to have spectators at once of their practices. It was a huge deal.

When they reached the metal double doors of the gym, both grabbed one side and slid them open hastily. The rough and loud sound of the doors being pounded into the walls enough to make the guys who were already practicing completely stop and those who watched, like their couches and team manager, gaze over at the two first years.

Kageyama and Hinata both took in a huge whiff of air before shouting out, “Some people are coming to watch us play!”

Dead silent. It was like each of their minds were lagging as they tried to process the information. Though, that didn’t last very long before they all screamed out, “What?”

“Whoa, Hinata, Kageyama, what the hell are you guys even talking about?” A second year with a shaved head who everyone refers to as Tanaka asked as he approached the two.

“We heard a group talk about coming here to watch us practice today.” Kageyama explained as everyone else gathered around.

“Awesome! What kinda group?” Nishinoya, a second year as well as the teams libero asked with a ditzy smile. Praying that some girls were coming to watch.

“Three girls and a guy.” Hinata stated, watching as Tanaka and Noya started to freak out together about girls watching them.

“A guy, too?” Daichi, their team captain questioned.

“Mhm,” Kageyama hummed. “He’s really popular among the first years. I don’t really remember his name though.”

“I see,” Daichi muttered before saying proudly, “Well, don’t let their presence distract you! Just practice like always!”

“Right!” They all screamed in unison.

Only about five minutes later they all heard the door open. Some wanted to check out the chicks and figure out who this mystery dude was, but most were doing passes to each other. They had to focus on the ball. Still, that didn’t mean they couldn’t hear their voices.

“I’ve missed this, yanno, watching practice games.” Your friend said to the group before turning directly to you. “You should really join football, I’d love to go to your games again.”

“Nah, too much work. Plus, I’m pretty sure the deadlines were last week.” You said with a deep breath, your eyes grazing the large gymnasium and focusing on the players. You didn’t know a lot of them, but you did notice two students from your class.

“Oh, it’s those two.” You uttered out as you took a seat up in the stands. A girl on either side of you.

“Who?” Himari, your friend, asked.

“Kageyama and Hinata. They have a couple of classes with me.” You said plainly, your eyes dancing before landing on familiar grey hair that made something break along your skin. It was odd, the heat that surrounded you. But you just concluded that it was nerves since he was a third-year. “Huh, Sugawara is here too.”

“Oh, him? He’s been on the team since coming to this school. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.” A friend of Himaris’ stated.

For some reason, you couldn’t put your finger on it. You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t help but focus all your attention on Sugawara. You didn’t know the guy that well, but you felt like he was a kind persona, at least from the few encounters you had with him. Honestly, you didn’t push away the idea that if you two were at least in one class together, you could be friends. Sadly, you were a first-year and you don’t play volleyball. Sure, there was lunch, but you felt it would be a bit rude to come in-between him and his free-time. Plus, he probably likes to hang out with the friends he already has during lunch.

You would have liked to stay in your head a bit more, but sadly, that wasn’t going to happen. At least, not with Himari at your side.

The sudden touch wasn’t new, especially with her. You felt an elbow dip into your waist. It wasn’t painful, but just attentive. You let out a hum from your chest as you gazed up at some dark hues that gave you an ‘all-knowing’ and cocky look.

You gave her a deadpanned expression before grunting out, “What?”

“You’re staring.” She grinned. “One of the boys catch your eye?”

You could hear some saddened gasps from your other side, the girls Himari invited praying that they heard incorrectly.

“Yeah, right.” You dismissed, waving your hand before going back to doing exactly what she suspected.

It wasn’t until you turned back that you felt a cold chill run up your spine. It wasn’t pleasurable in the slightest, but instead it ran your blood completely cold. In that moment, both pairs of eyes locked onto one another, neither daring to stare away from the other. It was like one of those moments that made you feel like the other people alive. But at the same time, you felt your fingers twitch against your thighs your hands rested upon when Sugawara sent you a wide smile. A smile that was easily as bright as the blue sky.

You stood still until sending a softer one back and waving at the third-year down on the court.

“Oh!” Himari uttered out as she stared between you and Sugawara, wondering what just happened before her eyes.

Though, she wasn’t the only one. In reality, the team manager was wondering who you were until something devilish came to her. After all, she was in a need of another helper when it came to dealing with these guys and it seemed like you already had Sugawara’s attention. So, what could go wrong?

After the practice match the boys started to pack everything up and put the cart full of volleyballs back in the practice room where the boys also changed into their normal clothes. During this time, their team manger, Kiyoko, took her chance to grab you before you left and without watchful eyes.

“Excuse me!” She called out just as you were about to step out of the gym. When you turned to her, she noticed you were a bit on the taller side, close to a lot of the guys on the team.

“Yes?” You questioned, your school bag slung over your broad shoulder.

She wasn’t intimidated per-say, but rather desperate to find another team manager, especially before she graduates since she herself was a third-year. She didn’t want to leave her position not filled and leave the guys with her responsibilities after she leaves. And so, with a deep breath she asked straight-up, “Please, join the Karasuno Volleyball team as the new team manager.”

You blinked aimlessly at the girl, your hand gripping a bit harder on the bag over your shoulder. “Why? I mean, I don’t even play volleyball, let alone know anything about the game.”

“That’s okay.” She reassured. “I didn’t know much about it either when I first started out. You don’t really need to know everything about it to be the team manager. If you want, we can do a trail membership.”

“I’m not sure,” you said under your breath, any more words that you were originally going to say coming cut from the root as soon as Himari punched your upper arm.

It didn’t hurt, but it did grab your attention. When you looked down at her she said with a bright smile, “I think you should do it. Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to make some friends.”

You stared at her. It wasn’t like you didn’t have any friends. Though, you did see her point. It would be nice to have some actual friends instead of being surrounded by people like the ones she invited today. After all, in reality, you really only had two close friends. Her, and another middle school friend who went to a different high school.

You sighed, the breath relaxing even the most anxious parts of you. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

It was easy how fast the girl’s face went from hopeful to excitement. That wide smile that appeared in mere seconds was enough to prove it. Even more so when she suddenly grabbed your free hand with both of hers in a handshake.

“Thank you so much! I’ll come by your classroom tomorrow to grab you before practice starts!” She explained before leaving you in somewhat of a daze. Honestly, you were kinda wondering what you even signed up for in the first place.

5. Exhaustion

“Hello?” A voice asked. It was soft, and gentle with words.

A small hum came from your chest as you squirmed in your desk for a moment before you lifted your head up from your arms that crossed over the other. You felt your eyes start to defocus before getting a clear picture of the figure in front of you.

It was that girl from yesterday.

“Oh, hey,” you muttered in a groggy voice as you rubbed the corners of your eyes. “Is it that time already?”

She stared at you for a moment with a soft smile forming on her lips before nodding her head.

You returned her action as you grabbed your things before grabbing your things. As she led you to the gym you were at yesterday, she introduced herself as did you. You learned her name as Kiyoko, already in the know about were she stood in terms of year level. The walk wasn’t that long before you reached the gym, everyone completely turning their attention to you both when you walked in.

“So you found a new person!” Hinata screamed, his voice echoing around the large area.

You stood next to Kiyoko unfazed by Hinata at this point in the school year. It was easy to say that class with him basically nullified his loud antics anywhere else. Even in a space that echos.

“What’s up?” Some of the guys asked as you watched a group of three jog up to the two of you, the sound of footsteps making it obvious. Though, when you turned your head, you noticed Sugawara, a soft grin making way on your features without your knowing.

“He’s going to be joining the club on a trail basis as the new manager.” Kiyoko stated, gazing over at you as you noticed most of the guys were starting to gather around.

You nodded. “I’m [Name], it’s nice to meet you all.”

For some reason unknown to you, whether it be god or fate, you felt your eyes immediately go to Sugawara and couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction may be. In truth, it worried you a bit if you were overstepping, but it wasn’t like this was planned. In fact, you were going to turn it dow after today, but being here now. Seeing that smile and hearing him say that it was awesome that you were joining on as team manager, it made you rethink your original choice. Now, you didn’t want to leave. Not at all.

You struck up a few more conversations with other members to learn their names and such, but after that was over, they went back to practice. You stood on the sidelines and watched over them with Kiyoko at your side as she explained the basics of what she does as manager. She even informed you of a trip that the team will be taking after the exams. It was a training camp sorta trip, so you knew that it was going to require you to leave home for a week or so. But, you weren’t complaining. Though, for the life of you, you couldn’t pick out the couch.

“Uh, sorry, but, who coaches the team?” You asked, watching as Kiyoko was about to explain before she looked behind you. Her eyes following something new.

“He’s behind you.” She stated.

You tilted your head curiously before turning on your heel to eye down this coach of theirs. You had all these expectations in your head. You thought he was probably some old guy with loads of couching experience on his shoulders. Maybe even someone who has been around for a while and has the complete trust of the third-year students. What you didn’t expect was to know the guy, much less have him be your damn boss.

“Shit,” you grumbled under your breath. “The hell are you doing here?”

“Huh?” Ukai hummed as he turned to you, a cocky smile moving on his lips that made an uncomfortable shiver run down your back. “Well, well, look who it is. What? Miss me so much that you actually joined the team I couch?”

“In your dream, old man.” You growled, trying to seem pissed as you desperately hid a smile. In truth, the dude was like this older brother you never got to have being an only child and all. “Kiyoko invited me on as team manager.”

“Really? And you’re doing it?” He asked in pure disbelief.

You felt your blood boil in a way no one could ever pull off. Seriously, sometimes this guy does piss you off. “What’s that? Don’t forget who’s been takin’ care of the store while your ass sits around and watches a bunch of sweaty guys hit goddamn balls.”

“Ouch, you kiss your mama with that mouth?” Ukai asked with a snarky grin.

“I’m going to completely destroy you, old man.” You snarled, your foot stepping down hard on the ground as you rolled up your sleeves. You quickly jumped the guy, his hands quickly holding your closed fists as you two struggled to overpower the other. “C’mon! You wanna talk like that then I’m gonna beat your ass!”

While that was happening, the boy’s volleyball team didn’t hesitate to stop and watch the battle going on between their couch and new team manager. At first it actually looked like you two were fighting, but if one was listening in from the beginning or just looked at Kiyoko laughing at the sight, everyone knew it was friendly.

“Didn’t know those two knew each other.” Tanaka said aloud as he stood around Noya and Sugawara.

“He works at Sakanoshita, I guess he fills in when couch is here with us after school.” Sugawara informed his teammate. Those closest to the group, Hinata and Kageyama, now joining in.

“Oh, yeah, I think you’re right!” Hinata stated. “I’m pretty sure I saw him working the register the other day.”

“Seriously? Now I kinda feel bad, I mean, with coach being here we’re kinda overworking the guy.” Noya expressed, everyone having that factor strike them like lightning.

“Maybe that’s why every time I see him he’s sleeping.” Kageyama said.

“Well, maybe now he’ll get to relax a bit since Kiyoko took him on on as the manager.” Sugawara expressed his hopes aloud. He couldn’t help but think back to the other day when he saw you barely even awake when he went to grab his teammates. First, he just thought you were exhausted that day. But now with Kageyama’s statement, for some reason, he felt a bit guilty.

After practice, you hung around for a bit until everyone was at least going home. You would feel wrong to head home if everyone else was still here. So, you hung out with Ukai inside the gym for a bit before going outside to check on the guys.

“You going to seriously do it?” Ukai asked, his voice with any teasing antics. He was serious as he could ever be.

“Maybe, honestly, it feels way too perfect. But then again, fate always did love me. I mean, I got a job at your stinky ass place.” You said with a snarky grin as you watch anger fill in Ukai’s face.

“Brat, and to think I gave you a raise.” He uttered out as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You let out a quick chuckle, your gaze moving down at your feet before you said calmly, “But, seriously, I do like it here.”

It was quiet for a moment before you felt a fit hit your upper arm. It wasn’t as weak as Himari’s punches, but not that hard either. In a way, it was enduring.

“Then join, you damned brat.” Ukai pushed, his voice confident to its very core.

In that moment all you could do was nod at the guy before waving him off and head outside. It was way after normal school hours, in fact, the sun wasn’t even anywhere near in sight. Complete darkness. The only light allowing you to see was coming from within the gym and the moonlight that skinned your skin gently.

Looking up, you noticed how much brighter the stars looked on this night. They were so bright that you could even make out a few tricky constellations without any issue. It was truly a blessing to see a night like this, and honestly, you thought for a split second that it could be a sign. After all, not a lot of opportunities like these come up. Who knows, maybe you could even get lucky and while traveling to Tokyo, or even at this very school, be able to meet someone who liked you and you were able to like them back.

In truth, it wasn’t a good feeling turning down girls. You hated it. Every time you got a love letter in your locker or someone asks you to meet them somewhere after class, you get sick to your stomach. It was almost like you were gonna pass out. The worst of it is if they cry though, that really twists your stomach. Most people here in this school, at least among the first years, call you a heartbreaker. But, it’s not that. It’s just, you can’t date someone who you know you’re never gonna like back. After all, they’re all girls.

You sighed, your head moving back down as you tried to control your upset stomach at just thing about that kinda stuff. Just as you were about to step forward and go check on the guys, a voice caught your attention.

“Hey, new guy!” It yelled.

“Huh?” You uttered as you turned your head to the guys you knew as Tanaka and Noya. Both changed out of the clothes they had before.

“You better join Karasuno’s Volleyball club.” Noya stated without a hinge in his cocky and weridly happy expression.

“When you’re around Kiyoko talks a lot, but don’t think you can make a pass on her! Got it?” Tanaka suddenly added on.

While you were distracted on them two, you didn’t even notice two more guys appear until their captain, Daichi, hit them both on the head and yelled out, “That’s not how you recruit him, you idiots!”

“I’m so sorry, they can’t help how stupid they are.” Sugawara suddenly stated, his head bowing a bit as en extra apology.

“It’s fine,” you stated clearly. “And honestly, I kinda already knew I was going to be joining when I first walked in today.”

In truth, it was because of what Sugawara said when he found out. But you seriously did not need to embarrass yourself or potentially weird these guys out when you just started to get to know them.

“Really? I look forward to having you around.” Sugawara said clearly while the others just cheered in their own little world.

You couldn’t help but smile. Sure, you haven’t known the guy long, but he’s way too sweet for his own good, as well as your own. Still, as sweet as he is, you did not expect him to suddenly ask, “Are you heading home now? I could walk you, if you’d like.”

It was then that the cheering stopped and everyone, including the others who came back from changing themselves, went completely silent and watched both Sugawara and yourself. It was odd how much your body suddenly went hot even though the air was cool. It was odd at how much your body stiffened. Then again, no one has asked to walk you home in a really, really, long time. It was endearing, sweet, and completely shot straight through your heart, planting a seed that soon was going to grow into something beautiful over time.

“Sure, I’d like that.”

6. Good Feeling

For the next three weeks you have been staying after school everyday to manage the volleyball team at your school. In that time you’ve learned plenty of skills from Kiyoko on what she does for the team, and even made some friends. You knew you were friends with all of the team but you got close to Tsukishima, Kageyama, Asahi, and Tanaka. Though, the one who you got especially close to was Sugawara. You would help him practice anytime you could and after practice it became a habit to walk with each other home.

You got to know him through those private walks the most. You learned his fears when Kageyama joined, since both of play the setter position and how he didn’t want to regret anything after he graduates. You understood him completely. You may not be a third-year, but if you were one, you definitely would share Sugawara’s goals. After all, your last year in high school is special.

Today was the day before the trip to Tokyo, a trip that all the players were looking forward to. It was only a practice match, sure, but there was going to be a few teams from all over Japan joining in on this great opportunity. Including Nekoma High.

As volleyballs few about the gym, everyone couldn’t help but notice a missing person. Not from the team itself, but one that usually sits on the sidelines, someone who watches over them and keeps their heads in the game.

“Hey, he’s not here today.” Hinata said to Kageyama, their vice captain, Sugawara, couldn’t help but to overhear.

“Yeah, he left class in a rush after the bell.” Kageyama explained to the short stack of the team.

“Oh, I hope he’s alright!”

“I’m sure he’s fine. C’mon, let’s do a few more sets.”

Suga could feel his lips twitch downwards for a split second, his eyes dulling as when he overheard. He really did hope you were alright and nothing was wrong whether is was home issues or personal stuff. He just hoped you knew that you could talk to him if you needed.

From the sidelines, Ukai studied Suga carefully. He’d never seen the third-year so much in his head, honestly, it was both worrying and interesting to watch. Though, if he had to be honest, Ukai was just glad someone truly cared for you the way Suga does. It was obvious to him, maybe not to Suga yet, but he knew over time that it would. And hopefully, you felt the same way.

“Sugawara.” Ukai called out.

The grey haired teen whipped his head from the ground before jogging up to his couch. “Yes?”

“Try not to worry too much about [Name].” Ukai smiled, watching as the most subtle amount of blush edged on the tips of Suga’s cheeks. “I asked him to work at the shop today. After practice, why not pay him a visit? I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

Sugawara blinked aimlessly, focusing way too hard on how his heart skipped a single beat. It was a weird feeling, but at the same time, he enjoyed it way too much in the moment.

Before he knew it he let a wide smile sneak up on him, happiness radiating out of every inch of his body before saying, “Sure!”

After practice, Sugawara was the first to rush outta there. It was odd to the guys until Kiyoko explained why he was in such a rush. Luckily for Suga, he didn’t hear all the friendly teasing the guys did while they all changed and cleaned up.

The third-year student ran downhill, a gentle smile on his lips as the cool, nighttime breeze hit his skin. It was exhilarating, to say the least. It was weird to Suga, he means, he has been seeing you every day after school and sometimes even in the mornings before. He’s spent as much time as he could with you and yet, now, it was like he was seeing you for the first time in weeks. It felt like that, and hell, it felt good.

When he came to the doors, he stopped. Taking a deep breath and fixing his hair involuntarily, he gripped the bag in his hand before walking in. You didn’t notice him at first, probably thinking he was just another run of the mill customer that would just grab their things and call on you when needed. Though, that wasn’t the case this time and for once without you noticing his stares, he took in as much as he could get. It was like this desire that started to grow the more he stared, trying his best to capture this moment forever in his mind.

You were sitting behind the desk with his look on your face as you dug your head into a book. You were trying to concentrate, Suga knew that, but the sleepiness that started to invade your body was bringing you to your breaking point. Your hair was a straight up mess, kinda like you just took a nap and didn’t bother to fix the obvious bedhead. Though, Suga couldn’t help but smile a bit at that. For some reason, you looked way cuter now than ever before. The realization making something close to fireworks explode within his heart. In truth, that good feeling he had whenever you were around was nothing more than emotions directed towards someone who he liked romantically.

“Hm?” A hum questioned, the voice breaking Suga from his inner thoughts. He watched when he gazed up at him, your plain features turning into pure happiness at the mere sight of him.

“Oh, Sugawara! Well, isn’t this a surprise.” You teased, your elbow coming up on the counter as you rested your head in the palm of your hand. A grin present on your face that didn’t look like it was going away anytime soon.

“Hey, I didn’t see you at practice today.” Suga said as he walked up to the counter. “Couch told me that I could find you here though.”

“Oh, okay, well my shift is almost done so why don’t you keep me entertained for the time being.” You cooed out as your grin started to transform into a sly smirk.

Suga smiled, a chuckle leaving his chest. “I think I will.”

You nodded in glee until you noticed an unfamiliar bag he was holding. Inside looked to be a piece of clothing. You pointed down to it and asked, “Whatcha got there?”

“Huh?” Suga questioned before gazing down himself. His body flinching when realization hit him like a truck and place the bag on the counter before saying, “Kiyoko wanted me to deliver this to you.”

“To me?” You questioned before curiosity got the best of you. In a swift movement you grabbed the item from within the bag, your orbs blinking aimlessly as you held the track jacket up in the air. It was all black with the exception of white text on the back that read, ‘Karasuno Volleyball Team’.

“Oh, wow,” you muttered under your breath as you admired the simple yet meaningful item.

“Try it on,” Suga encouraged.

You were quick to comply with his request. It was an easy, simple fit that hugged your body well. It wasn’t too big nor was it squeezing your body. It was just perfect, and you weren’t the only one who thought that.

Sugawara’s lips parted, admiring you with that cheesy grin that took his heart for a roller coaster ride. In that moment he couldn’t stop his thoughts from escaping his lips, and before he knew it he said, “You look really good in it.”

When that last letter left past his soft lips, he froze. His heart racing at a million miles an hour, wondering if it came out in a creepy way, hoping you didn’t pick up on the affection that laced his voice. But more than anything, he hoped, prayed even, that you weren’t going to flat out reject him right here and now. Seriously, that was his worst nightmare

“Oh,” you uttered out. Your tone nothing but pure shock. You remained still for a moment before grabbing the end of your new jacket, your head moving done with a bashful expression that made Suga believe he was seeing things. “Thank you.”

Suga stood still, blinking aimlessly as he tried to process the picture in front of him. In truth, he thought he was only seeing what he wanted to see. Only hearing what he wanted to hear. But when he figured out that this was reality, that that was your actual reaction to his words, he was more than over the moon and the good feeling within him whenever he saw you became stronger than ever within that moment.

7. Moment of Truth

It was the day of the volleyball trip to Saitama were a bunch of teams were going to go head to head in some practice matches to improve themselves further. Sadly for you, you had no idea that everyone was leaving in the middle of the night. Seriously, it sucked.

“This blows,” he yawned out, your body weak as you stood next to Suga.

“Did you get any sleep?” He asked in a worried tone, his gaze trying to understand why you keep doing this to yourself.

“Not really. Maybe, an hour or two?” You questioned, your body starting to give out on you. Without hesitation you leaned next to Suga, your body pressing against his. You felt his body stiffen at your sudden touch, especially when you nuzzled your head into his shoulder.

“Sorry, just give me a minute.” You muttered out in a sleepy tone that caused the grey haired male to hear his heart beat in his own ears.

“O-Oh, it’s, um, it’s fine.” He stumbled to say, his free hand coming up to cup the back of his neck.

He thought that he would be able to get away with this stunt, even with all his friends around, but he was sorely mistaken. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide it per say, but rather not bring his own embarrassment to the next level. A level that might catch your attention.

“Aw, look at you two love-birds.” Tsukishima snickered. “You could have least waited to get on the bus.”

Suga’s blood ran cold, his skin sizzling as if just dipped in boiling water. His chest grew heavy as if someone suddenly placed all of their weight on him without restraint. It wasn’t as if they knew his feelings, but it felt as if he had just exposed himself to not only them, but to the world.

“Stop it, Tsukishima.” Tanaka said, and for a minute, Suga thought he was safe until the buzzcut fool blurted out, “Don’t be jealous that Suga got him and not you.”

“Yeah, right.” Tsukishima groaned in pure annoyance before getting on the bus. A few people falling in after him.

“Uh,” Suga uttered out as he stood still, wondering what he should do about the one on him that out small snores. Though, his problem was solved when Kageyama suddenly came around and shook your free shoulder lightly.

“[Name], c’mon, we’re getting on the bus.” The first-year setter stated as he noticed you stir into Suga before your eyes began to flutter open.

“Hm? Oh, sorry.” You mumbled before letting out a loud yawn before following Kageyama side by side into the bus, leaving Suga completely alone in the cold night.

He stood still, wondering what even just happened and hoping that the night breeze would cool down the side you leaned into that still burned to the touch. What was worse was that whenever the wind did come around, your scent hit his sense of smell like a truck, making it impossible to move. That was until he felt a hand grip onto his shoulder in a friendly manner.

When Suga turned, he saw Daichi with a gentle smile on his face.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” He suddenly asked.

Suga blinked aimlessly for a second, pondering if he should deny such a thing. But, he couldn’t lie to Daichi, not in a million years.

Suga sighed. “I don’t even know if he likes me back.”

“Well, this trip might give you the opportunity to tell him. I mean, best to have no regrets, right?” Daichi asked, knowing he hit a nerve within Suga.

He stared at Daichi, his brain running back to his oath he made in the beginning of this year. It was silly of him to even forget it. “Right.”

During the first couple of days of practice you absorbed as much information about the game from both Karasuno and other teams. You took a fondess of Nekoma, they had this thing about them that you couldn’t quite pin. They weren’t that strong when it came to defense or attack power, but you felt like they were reading your every move. At first, you felt a bit bad since they were the enemy, but when you saw Hinata chatting up with the setter and Daichi talking with their captain, you ruled they were sorta friendly when neither are on the court against each other.

“Are we friends with Nekoma?” You asked Kiyoko who stood next to you on the sidelines as Karasuno played a school you didn’t pay much attention to.

“We lost to them in a practice match a while back. If anything we’re more like friendly rivals.” Kiyoko explained.

“Gotcha,” you uttered as you watched the game. Everything about volleyball never really excited you, but when it came to these guys, they made it almost way more interesting than it should be. Though, your eyes couldn’t help but wonder over to the people who weren’t playing at the moment, but you mostly focused on Suga over the others. You knew that Ukai put in Kageyama as setter more than him, but you did hope that you would have the chance to see him play. If not, than at least cheer him up.

“Hey, Kiyoko.” You called out, the girl quickly turning to you with a questionable look.

“You’ve known Sugawara the longest, so, uh,” you mumbled. Honestly, this had gone a lot smoother in your head. You gazed down unwillingly, your sight focusing on your feet. “Do you know if, um, if he maybe as anything he enjoys? Like how Tsukki enjoys music. Something that makes him happy?”

Your sight flickered all over the place, your face felling way hotter than before. When you met Kiyoko’s gaze once more, she had this encouraging smile that made your heart come to a complete stop. Only starting back up again when she said, “Well, I’m sure anything from you will do the trick.”

“From me?” You questioned. The simple sentence making immense happiness surge through your veins that you couldn’t contain a cheesy smile that crinkled the edges of your eyes. “Okay, thanks.”

From then on, you asked most of the third years what they thought would be an appropriate gift for Sugawara, some even saying to just call him ‘Suga’ instead of his full last name. You took that into account, but you also took the idea of Super Spicy Mapo Tofu from Asahi. And while you did pick his suggestion, you tried your best to combine everything together to make him as happy as you could.

“Ukai,” you called out. When you jogged up to him you felt multiple eyes on you, both from the court and those not playing.

“What’s up, kiddo?” He questioned.

“Would it be okay if I was excused for the rest of the day?” You asked, the question itself only sparking sadness and curiosity in those that you didn’t talk to before.

“Sure, just know that I’ll make you work overtime in the shop when we go home.” Ukai stated. He knew he couldn’t just let you off the hook without some kind of punishment, so he did the least problematic one he could think of.

“Thank you,” you said with a quick bow before leaving the occupied gym and heading straight for the cafeteria.

It took you a bit to get everything ready, seriously, you swore if you didn’t really care about this one guy than you wouldn’t even do something like this in the first place. You knew it would make him feel better, but at the same time it was way too embarrassing. It was like you were completely opening your heart, exposing yourself to him even though you had no idea his feeling. You knew he thought of you as a friend, but you seriously were clueless on everything else except your own feelings. Those were painfully obvious to you.

When everything was complete, you took upon yourself to ask Daichi and Asahi for help since they were the only other third-years on the team. Plus, Daichi was the captain so he had control over everyone’s actions. You put it in terms that weren’t too embarrassing for you, just basically telling them that you set something up for Suga to cheer him up. Politely, you asked if Daichi would only dismiss him from practice and make sure he comes to the boy’s room, the area were the Karasuno guy’s sleep.

They thought it was really thoughtful of you to do something like that for him and agreed to be a part of your plan. After that, you just played the waiting game, hoping that the food didn’t get cold before he showed up. Lucky for you, Suga respects Daichi more than a friend, but as a captain and listened to his every word. It was around five minutes after you came back that he showed up.

You were playing with your hands before you heard the door open. You noticed right away how upset he looked to be kicked out, hoping that he would forgive you after he learned this was all your doing.

After a few more sets, he looked up. The sadness quickly washing away and replayed with pure shock. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hm,” you hummed. Your body soon rotating in front of Suga as he sat down across from you.

“I know you left, but I didn’t think you’d be here.” He expressed, his body leaning forward as he talked.

“I wasn’t here for all that time.” You confessed, your hands quickly finding the edge of your shirt. “You see, I kinda noticed you were upset from not being able to play with everyone else so I, um,” you trailed off.

You gulped hard, the sound ringing in your ears for a few seconds before pulling out a bowl full of Super Spicy Mapo Tofu. Your eyes flickered between the bowl of food and the awe-struck expression on Suga’s face.

“I thought I’d make this to cheer you up, a couple of the guys helped me out though.” You mumbled out, your hands starting to grip onto your shirt.

“Oh, wow, this is, um, really nice of you.” You heard him say. Normally, anyone would think he was just trying to be nice to spare your feelings, but the heavy set blush upon his cheeks that trailed over to the tips of your ears say otherwise.

“It’s no problem.” You trailed off in a shaky voice, watching from the corners of your eyes Suga’s face light up when he took the first bite. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride overwhelm you, sure you had cooking skills from being an only child, but this was the first time making that dish, so you were just glad you didn’t completely bomb it.

You two sat in silent for a few minutes, but truthfully, it felt like hours. You would try to sneak a few glances here and there just to get a look at his face. You found it absolutely adorable the way it was scrunch up when he got a good bite of your cooking. Overall, you just wanted to save the view but not be creepy as well. But, after a while, he stopped eating. The bowl that was almost overflowing now empty like a dried river.

“That was great, thank you!” Suga sung happily, that gentle yet pure smile back on his features. It reminded you of when you two first met, but now just wider and more full of pure joy.

“Hey, Suga,” you called out, your body leaning in. The sudden action, plus shortening of his name caused his body to stiffen.

“Y-Yeah?” He stuttered, his eyes never once moving away from yours, even though he desperately wanted too.

You were ready. You had it all planned out. Just do it like you practiced.

While those this did rush throughout your head all you could manage to get out was, “Want me to take that?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.” Suga replied, his hand picking up the bowl and handed it to you.

A heavy sigh past your lips when you set the empty bowl over by the door, you would take it down to the cafeteria later. For some reason, this was harder than you remember. Maybe it was cause the last time the person asked you out instead of the other way around. They just made it seem so effortless that you thought for a second that you could do it too. Turns out, you can’t.

When you came back, you stood a seat next to Suga this time. Both of you now sitting on the sheets he falls asleep on during nightfall. In truth, you had no words. The silence was filled to the brink with this tension that made your head lower, your hands playing with each other. It was like both of you hoped something would happen, but not doing anything to make that come true.

Though, in Suga’s case, his mind replied what Daichi had told him a few days ago. No regrets. Two simple words repeating over and over again. It was true, he didn’t want to have those. Yet, at the same time, he was nervous as all hell to even touch you, let alone start anything. Still, he knew he had to. He had to at least give it a shot, and if he failed, if you didn’t like him the way he did you, he would at least be content with the fact that he never has to wonder what could have been. Even so, his nerves were still all over the place, even if he did make up his mind.

“Hey,” he called out, his body leaning in a bit faster than usual, and when you turned to face him, both of you ended up butting heads.

Both of you quickly moved your hands up to the sore spot, grunts of pain echoing around the only souls in the room. Suga was the first to recover, guilt swelling up when he noticed you in pain.

“Hey, I’m really sorry, are you okay?” He called out in a panicked voice as he unconsciously placed his hands upon your shoulder. Although, in the mists of his panic, he didn’t realize just how much focus he pushed onto you.

Your eyes shot open when you felt your body start to move backwards, a small yelp coming from your throat as your squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the hard floor to collide into you. You groaned once it did, the pain now coming from the back of your head and front. You knew this was gonna probably give you a headache later. The pain pounded against your skull, but when you fluttered your eyes open it was like all of that pain was the farthest thing from your mind.

Your breath immediately caught in your lungs, fearful that you’d noticeably start to breath heavier than normal. Before your eyes was a clear few of Suga, his body on top of yours. His eyes were wide, shaky as if trying his hardest not to let his sight wonder. His hands were firmly placed on either side of your head, one of his knees between your legs.

Both of you remained silent, processing what just happened the best you could. It was then, when you tangled together the events that lead up to this that you subconsciously slide your leg up, bending your knee. Your leg brushing up against Suga’s outter waist and thigh in a way that made him avert his gaze from you for a moment as he recomposed himself.

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry.” Suga apologized, his voice barely a whisper.

You remained silent, your lips slowly parting.

Suga’s eyes disobeyed his will, his sight falling on your lips that look so soft to him. “I should probably get up now.”

Quiet. You remained utterly speechless. You wanted to speak, you wanted to say a lot of things. However, it was like your words were stopped in your throat before they could even pass your lips, much less move into Suga’s ears.

After a moment or two of being in the same position, unmoving, Suga started to believe he was making you uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted to do. Screw his ‘no regrets’ phrase, it was one thing when it came to volleyball. Though, it was a completely other thing when it was you. Never in a million years would he ever want to cause you discomfort, even at the cost of his own feelings, he would stop his pining over you if you didn’t feel the same.

You were in your own mind for long that didn’t notice the look on uncertainty flicker in Suga’s eyes. By the time you came to it, he was slowly starting to get up, careful not to hurt you anymore than he had already. You didn’t know what happened, or what kinda demon took over but when you saw him backing away, you panicked.

Swiftly, you moved your hand up and tugged hard onto his shirt. You heard a soft gasp from him, sure, but when you felt his lips touch your own, everything went deadly quiet. Both of you remained still, processing what was going on, wondering what the next move should be.

Slowly, you released your grip from his clothes and moved that hand up to the back of his head, your fingers slowly intertwining with his soft locks. It was then that you felt Suga lead, his lips moving slowly against yours. It was gentle, soothing, and full of so much pent up desire that it almost made you escalate things.

His lips tingled a bit, almost like a spice. Luckily, you didn’t mind it and actually thought it felt somewhat good. You moved yours in sync with his as he started to grow more confident, you in turn starting to tug on the back of his hair. It earned you a few grunts that made butterflies start to invade your stomach and only made your over-worked heart beat even faster. You knew that the mischievous side of Suga was slowly working its way out, especially after the little stunt you pulled.

You didn’t care what he did, all you did care about was having him closer. As you had his hair in your hand, you started to but some pressure down on his head, signaling him to come closer, that it was okay. It didn’t take him long to understand what you were trying to tell him and quickly comply with your request. He carefully moved closer, both of your chests colliding as both of your hearts started to beat as one and ultimately deepen the kiss.

You started to get close to your limit when it came to oxygen, and while you didn’t want to end it, your need to breath was more important to you. However, you didn’t need to. Just when you were going to gentle push him away, Suga moved away from you, his cheeks on fire as his eyes glossed over with something that made you way more embarrassed than you already were.

A soft grunt left your chest before you moved your graze to the side, your entire face gradually feeling more heated by the second.

“Hey,” he called out softly. He didn’t have to explain what he wanted from you, you could hear it all in that simple, everyday word.

Reluctantly, you met his gaze once more. This time, he was smiling. It was one of those smiles that showed so much admiration without the need for words or any other kind of action.

“I really like you.” He simply said. No hesitation. Not even a single fluctuation in his tone of voice.

This alone made you smile like a kid in a candy store. For once in your life, you had gotten what you really wanted. It made you the happiest guy alive.

“I really like you too, Suga.”

#haikyuu sugawara #sugawara fluff #sugawara x male reader #sugawara x reader #haikyuu hcs #sugawara headcanon #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyu x male reader #haikyu x reader #male reader #x male reader #x reader

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johannstutt413 · 3 years

Text

(requested by mathmaticalknight)

Blemishine was in the Engineering Department, hiding from Zofia with her fellow tech-heads as she often did, the day she first encountered the Nian. She’d heard rumors about the meandering meddling metallurgist and her amorphous armaments, but it was only when the Doctor finally gave in and let her work with the Department that the Kuranta came into contact with her.

“Workshop #3 just sent up the results from their latest alloy test,” Passenger reported matter-of-factly. “No progress.”

“I’m definitely starting to see why we haven’t figured this thing out. It’s like the metal is...alive.” Blemishine was watching VODs of Nian’s combat performance to try and get some new data-

-which meant she was the perfect target when the real Nian arrived and glanced over her shoulder. “Well, you look like you’re having fun.”

“She’s incredible, isn’t she?” The knight looked over her shoulder, realized it was THE Nian standing over her, and with a blush said, “You’re incredible.”

“A lot of people don’t trust me, that’s true. I’m gonna borrow her, alright, Elliot?”

The Liberi waved an arm. “Bring her back in one piece.”

“Oh, you know I’d never hurt a hair on her head.” She hooked one of her arms under one of the Kuranta’s and pulled her out of her chair. “Let’s go.”

“Ehh? O-okay! I’ll be back, Passenger!” And without any resistance, Maria was off on an adventure.

At least, she thought that’s what was happening, though the Nian didn’t exactly explain as they walked through the corridors of Rhodes Island in the direction of the shuttle bay. “What’s your name, kid? I haven’t seen you around much.”

“Blemishine’s my codename, but you can call me Maria.” Honestly, she’d prefer the latter. “Is it true you’re not a Rhodes Island employee? I know you spend a lot of time in Engineering, and I mean, you’d have to be a smith to have a weapon as cool as yours, but I’ve never seen you in person before.”

“Closure offered me a job, but that’s not why I’m here. You like shopping? We’re heading into town.” Now wasn’t the time for worrying about the future; she did that plenty on her own, especially with Dusk around now.

The knight shrugged. “Auntie and I go every now and again, and when I needed new parts for my projects I’d go out to get them, but since I started helping out at the Department I don’t have as much time for that.”

“Projects?” Nian smiled to herself. “Like trying to recreate my weapon? I hope y’all figure it out.”

“Oh, that’s for the Workshop, it’s fun but not really the kind of thing I’d do in my free time, you know? I’m a mechanic at heart, and now that I’m working for the Department, maybe they’ll let me supe up one of the shuttles. I used to have a car that could get some real speed going before I became a competition knight...”

Thinking about the past was just as bad, but fortunately they’d reached the shuttles. “So you wanna mess around with one of these?”

“We’re here already? And yeah, that’d be really fun! They don’t run on quite the same intake system I’m used to, and I’d have to make some openings in the hood to fit everything on I’d need to, and then there’s the nitrous canisters- oh, there I go again.” Blemishine didn’t know many people who actually wanted to listen to her talk about this kind of stuff. “Sorry about that!”

“What do you mean? Keep going! I hate when people try to tamp down on their enthusiasm just to make other people happy, and you were really building up steam there.” Plus, she was super cute when she got excited.

Maria blushed again. “Alright, but only because you asked. So obviously we’d have to start with taking one of these babies apart - I think I could get Broca to help out with that, it really takes two people to get a car onto a maintenance lift when you’re trying to keep the engine cool - because they won’t let me look at the schematics yet even though I asked Closure specifically if I could...”

The entire drive into town was essentially like that; the knight went into the blow-by-blow description of what she wanted the shuttle to look like under the hood when she was done, and Nian only occasionally interrupted with an insight or a question to help her along. She was impressed with how much the Kuranta actually knew despite not having much opportunity to act on that knowledge back in Kazimierz (Nearl’s sister, no question about where she was from), but more than that, she was reminded of some of her old acquaintances who used to get the same gleams in their eyes when talking about sword-smithing or armor-forging. This girl wasn’t like her usual kidnappees for sure.

“-Hey, Nian?” Blemishine looked out the window. “I think we drove past town.”

“Did we? Shit, I guess we did.”

They weren’t turning around. “Are we gonna keep going?”

“Just a little bit.” The Nian smiled to herself. “I was going to take you shopping, but since we’ve been talking about cars, there’s a place I wanna show you. Might help out with this plan you’ve got.”

“Oh, it’s not really a plan, just some ide- is that a junkyard? Out here?!”A sign poked out from behind a dune. Looks like her birthday’d come around early this year.

The smith laughed. “You sound like a kid going to the candy store.”

“Candy can’t take you a hundred kilometers away in an hour, though, and that’s much more exciting than some sugar!” Maria giggled. “Not that I’m against sugar.”

“I can take it or leave it. There was one place I visited that had these cinnamon-pepper candies; those were more my style. Speaking of style...” They pulled into the lot, broken-down vehicles already visible from the entrance, and the tour began.

Well, less of a tour and more of a scavenging run; this wasn’t a museum, after all, and Nian never left home without a few tools. The Kuranta popped the hood on the first ground-level car within eyesight, putting on a pair of goggles and pulling a tool roll seemingly out of thin air. “This one’s in great condition; how’d you end up, little guy? Don’t worry, we’ll be gentle. Hey, Nian, could you help me roll this one forward a bit?”

“I’ve gotcha.” She popped open the door on one side, Blemishine did the same on the other, and the two pushed the car to where there was plenty of room on all sides. “Looking for something specific?”

“Just want to double-check a few things. How’d one of RI’s shuttles end up out here, do you think? I mean, if we had the keys, I’m sure we could get this one to run again, no problem...Do you hear that?”

The Nian sighed. “The rustling from over there? I heard.”

“Hands up!” A gruff voice barked as a small gang of bandits mobilized from behind other junk piles, crossbows trained on the pair. “Thanks for the fresh wheels, ladies. Toss us the keys and leave, and we won’t have to get nasty.”

“What kind of gang sets up shop in a junkyard? You can’t possibly make enough stops to survive,” Maria observed, hands still below her head.

The presumed leader, a Sankta with a black halo, spat on the ground. “Don’t change the subject. Hands, up, or your pretty little friend gets it.”

“Which one of us is little?” The other Defender asked casually, a pool of silver forming around her feet. “We’re about the same height, after all.”

“...Well, boys, can’t say I tried.” The Sankta fired at the Kuranta-

-and missed, partially because his target rolled out of the way, and partially because there was now a lump of metal where his Adam’s apple had been. Nian’s malleable murder-metal formed a curtain around her as she started walking forward with a smile. “Well, boys, you picked the wrong couple to rob.”

“Couple?” Blemishine asked as she reemerged from cover, sword and shield at the ready. “A couple of what?”

“A couple of-” At that moment, a bolt detonated against her tectonic armor, blasting shrapnel through and into her shoulder, and the Beast awoke.

A few minutes later, after the junkyard had had a proper bloodbath, the Nian was sitting on the hood of the car they’d rolled out while Maria patched her up. “Exploding bolts? That’s higher grade gear than your average bandit, isn’t it?” The knight asked

“Probably. Not that we’ve got to worry about it now.” She felt the debris-free gashes knitting back together in the Kuranta’s light. “I need a snack after that. Mind if we head back to town?”

“Nah, I don’t mind; there’s an ice cream shop that Surtr recommended I’ve been meaning to try. We can get a milkshake with two straws, like in the movies.”

Nian would have rolled her eyes if that didn’t sound like something she wanted to try. “You’re the first person I’ve dragged out with me who wanted to make a date out of it.”

“You’re the one who called us a couple,” Maria replied with a momentary smirk. Momentary because she wanted her next words to have the proper gravitas. “But I meant what I said earlier. You really are an incredible person, Nian, and now that we’ve gotten a chance to talk, I know it’s not your weapon we should be trying to emulate at the shop, but your spirit.”

“...I haven’t heard praise like that in a long time.” The Nian slid off the car.

Blemishine stepped off to walk back to their shuttle as the other Defender took her hand. “I don’t know if I’d call it ‘praise-’”

“What else do you call complimenting a goddess?” That stopped the knight in her tracks as Nian walked around her. “And praise of that calibre deserves a blessing.”

“You’re seri-” Whatever thought Maria had loaded up crashed to desktop as the ‘blessing’ in question turned out to be a kiss.

It was a good thing the smith’s eyes had closed before their lips connected; she might’ve gone blind from the Kuranta’s flash of light otherwise.

#arknights #arknights fic #blemishine (arknights)#nian (arknights)#tmw you wrote three pages because it refused to wrap up in two #maria is faqing cute #dunno if i have her voice right yet #but i'll be getting plenty of practice with the next few fics...

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whump-me-all-night-long · 4 years

Text

The Jewelry Box: Amber’s Beginning pt. 2

Well, here’s part two to the intro of the series. There’s probably going to be a part three, although when that will get written is anyone’s guess.

Taglist: @newbornwhumperfly @unicornscotty @itsleighlove @whump-scribbles @getyourwhumphere @skunkandgrenade @penny-for-your-whump @lektric-whump @just-a-whump-lover @thelazywitchphotographer @restrainthenmaime @angstyachesplus @lilbitwhumpy @leaderofthebeanarmy @aquard-skaii let me know if you want to be added/removed!

CW: intimate whumper, creepy whumper, collared, multiple whumpees, lady whump/whumpees, referenced death(s), Jess (and Sapphire) continue to have dirty mouths, let me know if I need to tag anything else!

Masterlist here

---

To Jess’ eternal disappointment, the key was not, in fact, for their collar. Instead the Jeweler - Jess’ lip curled at the name - used it to unhook the chain from the headboard. Once that was off, Jess leapt up, intending to sprint to the door and figure out the rest of their plan from there.

The Jeweler had other plans. As soon as Jess was on their feet, he swept a leg under them, sending them toppling to the ground with a grunt.

Disoriented, Jess pulled themself onto their hands and knees, a hand holding their head. They were about to try to get back up when a foot pressed down on their back, between their shoulder blades. Their unsteady arms and legs gave out beneath them and they tumbled back down, flat on their stomach. They glared somewhere above them, snapping, “Jeez, dude, can you just not?!”

The Jeweler laughed above them, adding a bit more weight onto their back. “Before we leave this room, I want to make sure we have an understanding. There will be no funny business from you, okay? You will behave and then I won’t have to punish you. Everyone wins.”

Jess scowled into the wooden floor. Dream on, fucker, they thought, but they said, “Okay, fine. I understand.”

“Wonderful.” The Jeweler hauled them back to their feet, making sure to keep the chain wrapped tightly around his hand. When he tugged on it, Jess was forced to follow them or risk suffocation. The Jeweler gestured back to the tray he had set down on the nightstand. “Now, do you want to take it or not? It’ll help you recover quicker, last night was not nice to you, but I won’t force you. Not this time at least.”

Jess glanced back at the tray, noticing that there were a couple inconspicuous white pills and a glass of water sitting on it. Hell no, they thought, shaking their head. “No- no way, dude.” They glanced at the Jeweler, wondering if he was about to get angry and blow his lid off.

But he just smiled, opening the door. “Very well.” He lead them out into a surprisingly normal hallway, with several doors and branching hallways on either side. A few picture frames were hung on the wall.

As the Jeweler lead them, Jess let their eyes wander over the pictures, not realizing what they were seeing until one in particular caught their eye.

It was a figure dressed in bright, rich shades of reds and oranges. Their skin was warm brown and their hair, which fell in waves down their back, looked as if it was almost on fire. Orange-gold flakes decorated their skin and hair, and they looked to be posing on their toes, arms arching out above them. They were quite beautiful.

Jess shook their head and began to move on, wondering why they were thinking that, when they noticed that the Jeweler had stopped too. He was gazing at the photo, with a wistful sort of longing. “That was my Garnet,” he said. “He was such a shining soul. Shame…” He trailed off before looking up at Jess. “He was one of my first Jewels,” the man explained. “But an accident-” his lips pursed at that- “caused him to leave too soon. It was a mercy to put him down.”

Jess felt disgust and horror mingle inside them. This man had killed someone? Jess looked back at the picture, noticing what they hadn’t the first time. Nearly invisible wires pulled at Garnet’s wrists, forcing him to balance precariously on his toes. Bruises, almost perfectly concealed, dotted the man’s body. And his eyes were wide not in excitement, but fear, with tears welled up in them.

Jess shuddered, not resisting as the Jeweler led them on further. A wave of nauseous dizziness swept through them, most likely remnants from whatever the Jeweler had slipped them. They turned down several more hallways, Jess quickly becoming hopelessly lost. There were no windows or doors that lead outside. Finally, after several tense minutes of silence, the Jeweler stopped in front of a door that looked like all the other doors in the halls.

Using another key, he unlocked the door, revealing an illuminated set of stairs. The Jeweler cheerfully set off down them, pulling Jess along too. The door clanged shut above them, locking, and Jess swallowed, unable to help the feeling that they were being swallowed up by the earth.

When they reached the bottom, there was another door waiting for them, this one made of solid steel. The Jeweler unlocked it using a very long pin number and a fingerprint ID. Jess watched on, amazed and terrified at the how well organized this man was. The door swung open after a short beep, and Jess frowned, peering closer to look inside.

The Jeweler gave a quick tug on the chain, causing them to stumble forward into the room. The floor, ceiling, and walls were all the same plain white tile, and there were several racks filled with a huge variety of objects behind glass cabinets along the back wall. Jess saw everything from workout equipment to swathes of cloth to a number of items they chose not to take a closer look at. But that wasn’t the weirdest part.

No, the weirdest part were the six small cells set into the walls, three on either of the side walls, with large panes of glass acting as the fourth wall and keeping them sealed. Well, that and the humans trapped inside them.

Jess jumped back and stared, wide-eyed and unbelieving, at the five people trapped, one to a cell, with the one empty one glaring out at them.

“What- what the hell is this place?” Jess croaked, turning to the Jeweler.

Before the Jeweler could answer, though, one of the people - a young man, maybe a few years older than Jess, with vibrant blue hair and a scowl Jess could see from a mile away - banged on the glass of his cell, glaring at the Jeweler.

“You asshole!” he yelled. Jess blinked, surprised. How long had he been stuck in this place? “Carn- Carnelian’s only been gone a couple of days! And you’ve already replaced him?!”

Jess took a step back, curling in on themself. Whatever they had stumbled into must’ve been a hell of a lot bigger than they first thought.

The Jeweler just smiled, glancing at Jess. “Ah, yes, this is my new Jewel, Amber. Amber, meet everyone. Everyone, meet Amber.”

A wave of anger swept over Jess and they snapped before they could help it. “I told you, fucker, my name is not Amber, it’s fuckin’ J-”

They was cut off by a sudden cracking noise and pain exploding in their face. It took them a moment to realize what had happened: the Jeweler had slapped them. They blinked, a burst of dizziness exploding through them. They were one of the most skilled fighters they knew, and they hadn’t even seen the blow coming.

The Jeweler watched them, an expression of interest on his face. Jess felt their lip curling, and forced themself to back off. The Jeweler smiled, as if he could tell what was playing through Jess’ mind.

He turned, gesturing to each of the people. “This is Sapphire-” the blue boy let out what sounded too much like a growl for comfort- “Ruby-” a short, slight slip of a girl with the most vibrant red hair Jess had ever seen glanced up at them, fear in her eyes- “Amethyst-” a much taller, curvier, paler woman with pastel purple hair watched them with calculating eyes- “Emerald-” a man build like an ox with dark skin and kind green eyes watched without expressing much interest- “and my darling Diamond-” a person with the palest skin Jess had ever seen, white hair tumbling over their shoulders, smiled up at the Jeweler. With how pale and faded they looked, Jess could swear they might be a ghost. They also seemed like the only person who was actually happy to see the Jeweler. Everyone else seemed angry or fearful.

The Jeweler smiled, clearly pleased with himself. “Now that introductions are done, I’ll show you to your new home, let you get acquainted with the other Jewels, and then I’ll be back later to continue your initiation.”

The Jeweler lead them to the empty cell, which was, of course, right next to the angry one - Sapphire. Jess had never been good with names, so it was a good thing that each of the other people were so obviously color-coded to go with the gemstone they were named after. The Jeweler unlocked the door to the cell, and shoved Jess inside, unhooking the chain and slamming the door back closed, all in a few smooth motions.

Jess stumbled in, glancing around at their surroundings - a small bed attached to the far wall, an empty nightstand next to it, and a metal toilet across from it (Jess had seen prison cells more luxurious than this) - before turning back to face the Jeweler. They took up their fighting stance, legs planted slightly apart, arms crossed in front of them, and a look on their face that was a mix between a scowl and a smirk - a smirl, they called it - that Jules said could make anyone throw the first punch.

“So what?” they drawled. “This some psycho dream of yours, kidnapping innocent people and dressing them up as, what are these? Gemstones?”

The Jeweler’s smile twitched, which was one of the first signs of his emotions, but when he replied, his tone was light. “Jewels, actually.” He took a step back, surveying Jess. “I’ll be back later,” he said with a wave of his hand, and before Jess knew it, he was gone.

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supernatural-love14 · 4 years

Text

Is That All I Am To You?

Summary: Thinking that her and Dean are exclusive, the Reader is proved wrong when Dean tells another hunter that they are only friends…

Warnings: The tiniest bit of fluff (and I seriously mean tiny). some serious ANGST. No happy ending. Arguing. Language. Crying. Lots of crying…

Word Counts: 1,682

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Former Dean x Reader

PROMPT: Is that all I am to you?

A/N: This is for the @jawritter 1500 Follower Challenge - Jen’s Make Me Cry Challenge - here’s the masterlist to it.

MAIN MASTERLIST ~ SERIES MASTERLIST ~ ONESHOT MASTERLIST

Four years. Four years that I have known Dean Winchester. Two years that we have been dating. At first it started out as a friends with benefits thing, which I was completely fine with if it meant I could spend time with Dean. But then it started to get serious, he started to take me on dates. We’d go to restaurants - just me and him, go play crazy golf, go on walks, stuff that couples would do.

A year down the line of the relationship, Dean gives me space in his room for clothes. Not that it really mattered if I had a drawer or not in his room considering my room was only down the hall. But most of the time I would sleep in his room, with his arms protectively wrapped around me as we slept.

Even Sam believed we were dating, it felt like we were dating - like it was all real. But I was so wrong, that I didn’t even realise that everything Dean had ever promised me was a lie. I should have seen it coming. Like come on, it’s Dean freaking Winchester. The one who gets around with all the women, never settling down, never dating anyone because it would have the worst outcome.

How couldn’t I have seen this? Why couldn’t I have stopped myself from falling for his charm years ago? I feel so naive and gullible. I know now that I can’t ever believe anything that man says. Ever again.

I have to leave, I have to get out of here.

5 Hours Earlier…

Meeting Sam at the bar, Dean and I walk in with his arm “possessively” wrapped around my waist, warding off any guys that would even think to get close to me. Sam sat in one of the corner booths of the bar far away from anyone. To everyone it looked like we were together, technically we were.

Joining Sam at the table, I was sat next to Dean leaning my head on his shoulder while he had one of his arms wrapped around mine. It was so clear to everyone that we were more than just friends. The lingering touches, the featherlight kisses on the forehead. Even the way he looked at me suggested that there was more than friendship. For the first time in a long time, there were no girls even attempting to flirtatiously glance his way. They knew he was taken. They didn’t even try to come over to get his attention, they knew they wouldn’t get it.

“Any new cases, Sammy?” Dean asked, as he grabbed onto one of the many beer bottles that was brought over to them, taking a large gulp of it.

“Man, I’ve looked but nothing so far, a whole bunch of others have taken cases and there’s just nothing at the moment.”

“Do they need any help?” Dean asked, clearly needing something to keep him occupied but Sam quickly shook his head.

“I’ve already asked, but you know what hunters are like, they’ve got their own partners to help them and they don’t need three extra hunters. But I’ll keep looking for cases, I guess we can just take this time off that we never get round to having.” Sam explained, lifting his own beer to drink, his eyes scanning the bar before noticing someone staring at them. “Hey, we’re being watched.”

“What… by who?”

“Don’t know, I’ve never seen him before, he’s just intensely looking at us from the bar.” I turn around to see the man sitting at the bar. Once he see’s me looking at him, he smiles. Gasping I realise who it is. “Y/n, you know who that is?”

“Yeah… my ex.” Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Dean slightly turns to see the guy who is staring at you.

“Bad ending?” Sam asked with concern, his eyes shifting from you to your ex and then to Dean.

“Not really. He’s not… a hunter. And it was a long time ago.” You started to explain to the boys.

“Are you going to go over?” Dean asked, masking his emotions with a straight face.

“Should I?” Looking up at him, trying to get a read on him but failing miserably.

Gulping, Dean looked from you to your ex before looking back at you. “Y/n, he’s clearly here to see you. You should go over there.”

“But I’m here with you guys… It’s fine, really. I’m with you. I have no reason to see him. It didn’t end well last time I saw him, which was when we broke up.”

“Did he know about the hunting life?”

“Yeah, that’s the main reason we broke it off.” I lie easily, not really wanting to explain my past.

“Maybe he’s trying to get you back, maybe he’s ok with you being a hunter.”

“Dean! I’m with you, I don’t need to go back with my ex… I’m already taken.”

“Yeah but we’re not really together, together…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You raise your voice slightly, hoping this isn’t where it’s really going.

“Dean, st-“ Sam started to say before Dean interrupted him.

“We’re only friends with benefits.”

“So, what two years of being together - friends with benefits or not, and not once id you think that with all your actions showed that this was more than friends with benefits. You don’t take a friend with benefits on dates. Let me guess in all of this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing, you’ve been seeing other people haven’t you?”

“Y/n…I’m sorry that you thought there was more to this-“

“No. What you did was lead me on. I’m going back to the bunker.” Getting up from my seat, I quickly grab my stuff before heading out towards the door. My ex immediately heading towards me, and I couldn’t even stop the eye roll from forming.

“Hey, Y/n. It’s been a while.” He stops in front of me, blocking me from the exit and now i’m suddenly remembering why we broke up in the first place. Anyone would think that we broke up because I was in the hunting life and he was not, something normal. But no, this cheating bastard thinks he has the audacity to think we will pick things up where it was left.

“Yeah, I guess. How’s Amanda?”

“Andrea, was her name.”

“OH right, that so silly of me to get the name mixed up of the girl you threw me away for.” I said bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Y/n, at the time we weren’t really together.” You could just feel like your brain wanted to explode at that very second, what was with men and not telling you what the relationship status was. Was it that hard to talk for them to talk to me? And why did I have such bad luck with men!?

“Yeah, I remember, I remember you so clearly saying that as you were banging that chick in our bedroom of the house we brought together!”

“Y/n…” He started to say grabbing my arm slightly to pull me towards him, before I so rudely pushed it away. “Don’t be like this. Remember all the fun we had together.”

“No. I don’t. Now if you excuse me, I have to leave. I’ve dealt with dickheads all evening.”

“Hey, don’t go. Come on, catch up with me.”

“No. I’m not going down that path again. What happened between me and you is now over. It’s been over for years.” Clearly not getting the message, he pulls me roughly towards him, before I kick him in the balls. I didn’t even realise one of the Winchester boys were behind me before Sam pulled me back away from my dick of an ex-boyfriend.

“Hey, she clearly said no. So leave her alone.” Sam defended, a glare placed on his face, I turned slightly to see where Dean was but seeing him at the other end of the bar chatting up a chick just made my blood boil. Here I was clearly struggling to get rid of my ex and he’s over there throwing what little we had left away like trash. From this moment I knew it was over. I knew we would never be together. And I knew I had to leave for good. No more would I fall for men like him.

I could feel my eyes tearing up, blinking rapidly to hold them back from falling. My ex now left the area of the bar as Sam watched me with concern. “I’m going back to the bunker.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to get some sleep.”

“Ok…just call me to let me know you got back ok.”

“Of course.” Lying through my teeth as I give Sam a quick hug. With him never realising that this would be the last time he would see me. I leave the bar quickly heading back to place which will no longer be my home.

After 5 hours I had packed my things, grabbed anything and everything I had in Dean’s room and my old room to put into my car. My old car was sitting in the garage, where it had been left since the day I moved in here. I never really needed it when I had moved in, I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my face as I realise how much I will miss this place. The memories that I thought were good now turned to ash and dust.

I will move on from Dean Winchester. Sitting behind the wheel just made it all too real as Dean will never know how much I loved him but I have to leave, I can’t stay here knowing that he will never fully be with me not after everything that I now know. He’ll never know what he truly missed out on, holding a hand to my flat stomach, the life that was slowly growing inside of me. Dean will never know that he would have a child. Because he will never find me. Not ever again.

IF YOUR NAME IS CROSSED OUT IT MEANS I CANNOT TAG YOU FOR SOME REASON. ALSO FEEDBACK IS MUCH APPRECIATED!

Forever Tags:

@peachyafshawn @vicmc624 @deanswaywardgirl @hobby27

Dean Winchester Tags:

@foreverasouldreamer @a-girls-little-world @dreamyalessiaa @dhawandyke @bi-danvers0 @anorable-agnes-drew @autumnfrancour2 @waywardbeanie @ellewritesfix05 @flamencodiva @akshi8278 @tuataracda123

If you wish to be added to the taglist even if it just for a series or one shot - comment down below or ask me!

#jensmakemecrychallenge #angst #dean #dean winchester #sad #no happy ending

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petewentzisblack1312 · 3 years

Note

who are some of your favorite fall out boy tumblr accounts and why are they your favorite ?

@ofalltheginjoints bestie, funnie and also another black fob fan! and also GREAT edits altho those are on pause til they get a new computer

@shouldntdaresleep is just like a beloved mutual. also has very VERY good edits and tbh is kind of how my reputation as the fob dissertation writer that i am came to be, bc they said something that urged me to post my powerpoint and now here i am!

@queenoffakers another beloved mutual i love seeing in my reblogs

@deathchic ruby will just dm me some galaxy brained take about a random fall out boy song and then we will scream at each other and its so great

@pmvstump bestie. ive known jace for like. 6 years now? jeez. they were like the only poc fan i knew when i got here, and i think if i didnt have them id have been too frustrated with the little nuggets of racism to stick around as long as i have. we learn a lot from each other too, and we can always count on each other to call the other out. plus theyve done their fair share of work in keeping the fob fandom specifically safe. thank u for your service.

@souryogurt64 girl loves pete and turned that into a full career. we love to see a girlboss winning. unironically though shes kept such a meticulous record of stuff that its helpful, even if she doesnt fully understand how important some of it is due to not being black the fact that she kept it has done so much for black fall out boy fans generally, without even knowing. also theres so many just like. one off moments that couldve or even shouldve been lost to time that we still have due to her dedicated work that she does purely for petes sake. (hehe)

@falloutboyfan18 mostly because i just like her vibe. the entire fall out boy fandom could burn to the ground and the sun could explode and cops could sprout wings and alexis would still be posting pictures of patrick stump with "this man is literally perfection" in the tags and using funky colours and fonts in her life update posts. like shes very normal and i love that for her plus i love her hair. she doesnt care what everyone else is doing shes just posting pics of our favourite malewife and having the time of her life. i like her cat too hes very cute though she doesnt post him often.

theres other blogs too! aja and atlas are great too but i cant rmr their @ right this second rip but theyre hilarious. like this is a small community of people and im bad with names but theres a lot of folks in my comments and replies and reblogs, some who i dont follow because im not quite into their content, or theyre too young for me to feel okay doing so, who are so lovely and still favourites of mine!!

#dils declares #fwiends

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blissfulparker · 4 years

Note

the reader proposing to peter🥺 i'm ��soft✨

This is going to be settle but I do like the idea of the girl proposing to the guys😌

The sun comes into the room and the alarm clock reads 11:45. You and peter barely just got up, after a long night together for your three years anniversary, you two made yourselves in the sheets all throughout the night.

“Good morning...” you roll over and see your boy with his face scrunched up. He holds you tightly and kisses your forehead softly. “Someone’s grumpy.”

“I’m grumpy because I have to leave this bed at some point.” He mumbles but then opens his eyes to be greeted with you.”but good morning.” He kisses and you even though you hate the morning breath you’ve learnt to get use to it, just for him.

“I think I’m too sore to leave bed.” You laugh.

“Then why can’t we be like this forever? We never have to leave.” He goes to kiss your neck and even though his words were playful, you felt more. You and peter had been dating for five years, five years and the two of you couldn’t see anything better.

Within those five years you even took a break, took a break and dated other people but it wasn’t the same. No one loved you like peter and you loved no one like you loved Peter.

“Peter,” you find your hands tangled in his hair as he kisses across your chest. His lips sweet and soft but you want his attention on your words. “Peter, ive been thinking...” you started and he lifted his head up.

“If this is about me making you late to work last week I’m so sorry, it’s not happening anymore I’m sorry your boss yelled at you—“ he started and you shook your head although that was something you wanted to talk to him about.

“No, no,” you stoked his cheek. “What if we got...married?” You ask and he gives you a look. A good one though.

“Like...I call you Mrs. Parker? A-And we make it permanent?” He loved the idea of marriage except he was never raised around it, marriage was a far fetched concept for him, he didn’t think he was deserving.

“Well,” you started. “That is how marriage works.” You laugh a little out of nervous. He looks at you as id you’ve never been more beautiful than now. Now being in bed, early morning, eyes puffy and lips sore from his kisses but they still begged for more. Nothing but you, him and the morning sun.

“Yes! Yeah, yeah! I want to get married to you so badly. Yes I want get married.” He smiles and you do too. You didn’t have a proper ring, you weren’t sure how that all properly worked but you did have him.

“Peter Benjamin parker,” you held his face and he came close to your lips. “Will you marry me?” You ask and his eyes go wide. For a moment you think he can feel your heart exploding but he nods his head so quickly you think it’s going to fall off.

“Yes! Yes! A million times yes!” He cries as he pushes his lips against yours. He moves his hands to hold your face and it’s only moments until you’re pulling off because you can’t breathe.

“Wait,” he looks at you. “Aren’t I supposed to ask you that?” He asks and you shake your head.

“Who cares? We’re engaged!” You smile and he does too going back to your lips.

The rest of the day peter was the first to give you a ring. He pulled out his moms old wedding ring and told you how he never thought he would use it until he met you. The rusted ring needed some cleaning but it was some of the last peter had of his parents that he was now sharing with you. You and peter had waited five years for this and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life like this.

#kats blurbs #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker fan fic

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anna-justice · 4 years

Text

Lost or Found - 24

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

24 - Evermore ...

“Your dad should have killed you when he had the chance…”

Hailey whimpered, her eyes clenched shut and beads of sweat appearing on her forehead.

“So you want to play hero one more time?”

She flinched in her sleep, her heart beating out of her chest, so fast that she thought it was going to explode.

“That works for me.”

Hailey shot up, screaming. The last thing she saw was the barrel of a gun. She clawed at her chest, trying to get a good breath. “Hailey?” Someone yelled, and then right after, her Aunt appeared in front of her. “Hailey, it’s okay.” Trudy reached out to grab her hand, but Hailey pulled it back, looking at her with scared eyes.

It had been a month since she had heard those words muttered aloud, but they plagued her dreams frequently.

The two weeks following that day, all five of them took turns rotating through the police station. Everyday there were new questions, more people to explain things to, more statements to clarify, it was never ending. Then, it just stopped. There was nothing else they could do, they had to wait for trial. And in the meantime, Erin was placed in a psychiatric hold facility, and her lawyers were defending her actions as a symptom as psychosis.

It bothered them all, that technically she was free, all because they could blame her attempted murder on a psychotic break. Especially when Kelly Severide was looking at time. A few days after, two detectives showed up at Hailey’s house, wanting a full recount of the last five months, and that included the night that she was attacked. When Severide was questioned, he had no alibi and he confessed to strangling Hailey. His excuse was that he was threatened the same way that the rest of them were, only in person. He claimed that he knew Erin was alive the whole time, but she threatened to kill his mom and sister if he didn’t cooperate.

Unfortunately, the only way to corroborate the story for a jury is to prove Erin mentally competent, meaning she was capable of carrying out her threats. To all involved, even Kelly, it was clear that she knew what she was doing, she was a mastermind, but to everyone on the outside, they were just a bunch of teenagers wrapped up in a murder.

The girl that everyone thought was Erin still hadn’t been identified, they had to dig up the casket for the second time. The only way they were able to ID it the first time was by the previous fracture and bracelet, but there are a lot of people in the Chicago area that have broken their left wrist.

So, with no new information and the date for the trial to begin still months away, they all lived life normally. Well, as normal as it could be after everything they went through. And normal for Hailey meant waking up every night screaming.

Trudy looked at her husband, who was standing in the doorway. They shared a look, a very familiar one. They repeated the same steps every night, like some cruel rehearsed dance. Trudy waited patiently for Hailey to calm down, just seated on the floor next to her. “Hailey, sweetie, you’re safe.” She repeated.

Every night it was the same, Hailey would snap out of whatever daze she was in and apologize profusely. “I’m sorry, I got scared…” She started.

“Shhh,” Trudy said, placing a hand on her leg, “It’s okay.”

Hailey nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m good, you all can go back to sleep.” She said, glancing at her uncle.

Trudy just nodded, she learned many nights ago not to fight her on it, “Alright. Goodnight Hailey, we love you.” She said, squeezing her shoulder.

“Love you too.” Hailey said, watching them retreat back to their room. They left the door open like they always did, Hailey sighed rolling over and grabbing her phone. She sent a quick text to her boyfriend.

Hailey: :(

It was a system that they started a few weeks ago. The first few nights Jay would stay up with her on the phone, or she would call him after Trudy and Randy finally left, but the lack of sleep began to play a part in their relationship. So, they decided that every time Hailey had a nightmare (or Jay, he wasn’t clean of them) they would text the other a frowny face, so that in the morning they would know what the other had gone through the night before without having to talk about it. It has proved to be useful.

Hailey laid down again, willing herself to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. Sleep was too vulnerable, so she laid there awake, just waiting for the sun to rise on (hopefully) a better day.

…

“What do you mean you haven’t picked out a costume?” Kim asked, as Jay slammed his door shut. Like every morning, they were all crowded around his truck, waiting until the last minute to head to class. The gossip still hadn’t died down, they were still the topic of every conversation, so they avoided it as much as they could.

Hailey shrugged. “I thought we weren’t dressing up.” She said, looking up at her boyfriend, who nodded in agreement. Halloween was tomorrow, and of course Kim had plans for all of them.

“No, I said we weren’t dressing up as the characters from scooby doo…” Kim said, giving Adam a pointed look.

Adam held up his hands in surrender, “Like I said, I’m sorry, it’s too soon.” He said, stifling a laugh.

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you all know I’d have to be scooby. And I’m not dressing up like a dog.” He snapped.

“But Kev,” Adam said, faking a frown. “I thought you were my dawg.” Kevin glared at him, faking a punch as Adam jumped back.

“Anyway,” Kim started, looking back at Hailey and Jay, and ignoring the antics behind her. “I promised Stella we would all be at her party tomorrow night, you guys will be the only people without a costume.”

Hailey sighed, “Kim, we will get costumes, I promise.” Kim opened her mouth, but the warning bell cut her off. Hailey smiled, grabbing Jay’s hand. “We’ll see you guys later.” She said, before pulling him away.

“Please tell me you have costume ideas,” Jay said quietly.

“Nope.” They rounded the corner, Jay leaning down and stealing a kiss before they entered their classroom. Criminal justice was a little harder to sit through than it was before, but somehow Jay had managed to get his grade up.

They took their normal seats in the back of the class, waiting for the teacher to begin. “I have an idea,” Jay said, leaning on his hand.

“Okay?” Hailey said cautiously.

“I’ll be a firefighter, and you be a Dalmatian.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hailey scoffed, “No.”

“Okay. You be the firefighter and I’ll be the Dalmatian.” He said, smirking.

Hailey shook her head, “Try again.” Jay fake pouted, retreating back to his half of the shared desk.

Finally, their teacher decided to start class, cutting their conversation off for the time being. After about 30 minutes of notes, he passed out an assignment, leaving them to work on their own. Jay turned to face her, smiling. “I’ve got another idea.” He said, Hailey gave him a pointed look. “Squints and the lifeguard from the sandlot.”

“Why? So every time someone asks us who we are you get to lay on the ground and make me kiss you?” She questioned.

“Exactly.” He deadpanned.

“Jay-”

“Okay, okay.” He said, laughing. He loved it when she got all riled up. “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, cause you’re so short-”

“Jay!” She said, smacking his bicep.

He laughed harder, “Okay, in all seriousness...we can be Jack and Rose from the titanic…” He watched Hailey’s face slowly morph into slight agreeance, “And Kev could be the iceberg.”

“I’m done with you.” Hailey said shortly, stifling her own laugh.

Jay laughed at his own joke, watching his girlfriend pretend to be aggravated with him. “You love me, you know it.”

“Unfortunately…” Hailey said under her breath. She took a deep breath, “What about Danny and Sandy from Grease?”

Jay smirked, “You in leather pants? Perfect.”

“You’re hopeless.”

…

The next day, Hailey sat in Kim’s bedroom getting ready. They had about an hour before the boys were supposed to come pick them up. Kim and Adam were going as Romeo and Juliet, while Hailey and Jay had finally settled on Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Kevin had grouped up with some of the boys from his team, they were going as zombie football players, very original…

“Kim, you’re going to have to do this.” Hailey said, laughing in defeat.

Kim smiled, taking over for her. She was waiting for her to ask for help, she’d been struggling to french braid her hair for almost twenty minutes. “I got it.” They sat there for a while in silence, Kim carefully laying pieces of blonde hair over the others, she glanced at Hailey in the mirror, noticing the blank look on her face. “How are you doing?”

Hailey’s head snapped up to meet her eyes, she caught her off guard. “Uh,” She shrugged, “I’m okay, I guess…”

Kim scoffed, shaking her head. “I’ve said that word so many times recently that I’m not even sure it’s a word anymore.”

“Yeah…” Hailey said, letting her thoughts wander. “I get that.” And she did, it was like she used the word as a shield. It was her response to everything, and she wasn’t okay, not that it was really a secret. None of them were okay, but saying it made it feel like they were. And deception was something worth clinging onto.

“You know, we never talked about-”

“We don’t need to.” Hailey said, cutting her off.

Kim eyed her cautiously, “Okay.” She wanted to talk, but she didn’t feel like she had any right to push Hailey to. Not after what happened. “Done.” She said, a few minutes later, taking a step back to admire her work.

“Thanks,” Hailey said with a genuine smile, picking up the jar of flower clips they had bought that morning. “You think I should just put these everywhere?”

Kim nodded, “Yeah, I think so.” She reached down, clicking shuffle on a playlist, a random Taylor Swift song playing. They were both done talking.

An hour later, the two of them were sitting in Kim’s kitchen talking to her mom when Jay and Adam arrived. Adam just let himself in the front door, Jay choked on a laugh as he waltzed in like he owned the place.

The boys appeared in the kitchen, “Honey, I’m home.” He said, passing Kim and hugging her mom. Kim rolled her eyes as they all laughed, Jay’s hand finding Hailey’s back like it always did. He was so happy, even though life was still crazy, he was ridiculously happy. Watching Hailey smile and Adam joke around like he used to (before they used it as a distraction) was so nice, and familiar and just so damn good.

Hailey peered up at him, grinning as he pecked her lips. “Alright, let’s get a picture so you all can get out of here.” Claire said, ushering them together. Jay stood next to Adam, both of them holding their girlfriends securely against their waists. They all smiled brightly, relaxing after the click.

They quickly bid their goodbyes, making their way out to Jay’s truck. Hailey slid easily into the passenger seat, despite her nude heels (that she was already regretting), while Adam and Kim got in the back. They pulled out of the driveway, and somehow Adam ended up with aux cord. Somewhere in between an old Maroon 5 song and the Weekend, Jay’s hand found hers on the center console.

Hailey looked down at it and smiled. It was a simple thing that they did every single time they rode together, but it really symbolized how much things had changed. Hailey thought back to the day that he kept his eyes trained on the road, back when she cut him off when he tried to apologize. It was only two months ago, but they were different, everything was different, everything was better.

Jay followed her gaze to their conjoined hands, mimicking her smile. She didn’t have to say anything, he knew exactly what she was thinking. Part of him wishes he could go back and stay with her then, he felt like they had wasted so much time, but the other part of him knew that they were better for it. Neither of them were ready for what they have now, then. And what they have was worth the wait.

Finally they reached their destination, Jay having the park pretty far away due to how many people were already there. They got out, Jay rounding the truck to help Hailey down, even though she hadn’t needed it in a long time. The four of them headed towards the decent sized house, they could hear the music thumping from outside. Hailey slipped her hand in Jay’s, gripping his forearm.

Jay noticed the look of discomfort on her face, leaning down. “Hey, you okay?” He asked, eying her.

Hailey nodded, holding on a little tighter. “Yeah, just don’t want to get lost in the crowd.” Jay nodded, believing her lie. She couldn’t really explain it, but she had a terrible feeling in her stomach and the thought of being lost in a sea of people made her want to throw up. Even though it was over, Hailey still found herself looking over her shoulder and watching out for her. And even though all of that meant she was nowhere near being in a party mood, she wasn’t going to bring everyone else down, they all needed a fun night.

They made their way through the crowded makeshift dance floor, and found Kevin in a living area near the back of the house where he was sitting with Stella, Conner, Matt and Sylvie. “Hey guys,” He called, jumping up and clapping Adam’s back.

Stella stood, hugging Kim tightly, “I’m glad you guys could make it.”

Kim squeezed her, “Me too.”

Stella backed away, touching Hailey’s arm affectionately and giving her a kind smile that she returned. “I know it’s kind of crazy,” Stella laughed, “If you need something or just a break, the keys to the upstairs doors are hidden right under the doors, just inside the rooms.” She glanced at the obvious couples, winking. “I trust you guys.”

They all nodded, Kim blushing, a chorus of “great” and “thanks” sounding. The group dispersed, the five of them huddling up. “Obviously Hailey and I are gonna stick together, if we get lost, meet back here at midnight and we’ll head out?” Jay suggested.

“Sounds good,” Kev said, nodding.

Adam agreed too. “That works for me.”

That works for me…

Hailey flinched at those words, instinctively squeezing her eyes shut. Her breath caught in her throat. The image of a pulled gun flashing through her brain. She grimaced, trying to push the thoughts away. “Hailes…” She took another deep breath, doing everything in her power to keep her fear at bay. “Hailes.” Someone said, harsher, snapping her out of her daze.

“Yeah?” She asked quickly.

Kim eyed her cautiously, “I asked if you wanted a water…”

“Oh,” Hailey shook her head, “No, I’m good, thanks though.” She watched as Kim and Adam slowly disappeared into the crowd, her eyebrowed cinched together.

Jay stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the rest of the room, “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, concern clear in his bright green eyes.

Hailey nodded vigorously, “I’m good, I promise.” She said, his face didn’t change. He didn’t believe her. Hailey reached up, pulling him to her level and attaching their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she deepened it, pulling him even closer. Jay did his best not to get lost in the kiss, but with her it was so hard. She pulled away slowly, peering up at him. “Jay, I’m okay.” Kim was right, it didn’t sound like a word anymore.

Jay sighed, admitting defeat. “Okay.” He laced their hands together, leaning down and kissing her slowly before guiding her to the dance floor. They stood near the edge, Jay’s hand sitting on her hips as they swayed in sync to the fast music. They danced for a while before some of Jay’s teammates interrupted them.

Hailey stood securely at his side as they spoke, absently listening to the trashy rap music that was playing loudly throughout the room. “Fuck, shit, bitch…” The sound of a gun being cocked rang through the speakers and Hailey screamed. Suddenly the eyes of everyone around her staring at her. She was frozen in place, forcing the terrible memories away, but she couldn’t.

“Hailey.” Jay said, but her feet had a mind of their own and she was running towards the staircase, her lungs burning, she couldn’t get in a good breath. “Hailey!” Jay called after her, not even bothering to say goodbye to his team before taking off.

Hailey booked it up the stairs, dropping to the ground in front of the first door she saw, grasping aimlessly for the key. She slumped against the door, tears streaming down her face as she fought to breathe. Jay booked it towards her, crouching down and finding the key easily. He unlocked the door, then swept his hysterical girlfriend off the floor, carrying her into the room and setting her on the bed. She was still heaving in front of him, and Jay placed two hands on either side of her face. “Hailey, Hailey look at me.” He said, but her eyes stayed trained on his chest. “Baby, you’re safe, look at me, please.” She clenched her eyes shut, more tears falling down her face. When she opened them again, they met his and she launched herself into his arms.

Jay held her to him, rocking them gently as she cried into his neck. “I-I thought-” She stuttered, sobs wracking her body.

“I know, I know.” He said, trying to calm her.

“I thought it was over…” She said, and Jay felt his heart clench in his chest.

He ran his hand through her braided hair, no doubt destroying it. “It is, it’s all over, you’re safe. We’re safe.” For some reason that made her cry harder, maybe because she hadn’t for the past month, she had been bottling up her feelings to protect herself and everyone else. Because even though she was, she hadn’t felt safe in a long time.

Hailey pulled away after a long time, utterly exhausted. Jay couldn’t take the look of defeat on her safe, she looked so tired, so broken, that it scared him. How could he not have known how much pain she was in?

She couldn’t bear to look at him, so she kept her gaze fixed on her lap. He placed his hand on her thigh, and Hailey laid one on top of it. She sniffled, using her free hand to wipe the never ending tears from her eyes. “I’m okay.”

…

The following Monday, Hailey sat in the passenger seat of Jay’s truck. After the events of Saturday night, Jay had no choice but to loop in Trudy and Randall, he had to after he had failed to do so before. They spent the rest of the weekend convincing Hailey to see someone, to talk about everything they had been through.

It was probably the trauma left over from her parents, but the stigma that therapy made you weak was ingrained in Hailey’s mind, and convincing her to make an appointment was no easy task.

That’s how they ended up sitting in the parking lot of a private practice right after school, Hailey’s leg bouncing nervously up and down. Jay lifted their intertwined hands off the center console, kissing the back of hers. “I’m going to be here waiting, all I ask is that you go in there and try.” He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.

Hailey smiled softly, nodding. She leaned across the console and kissed him slowly, hoping that she was able to portray just how much love she had for him and trust she had in him through it. Jay pulled away, taking her in. “I love you, Hailey Upton.”

“I love you, Jay Halstead.” She said.

“Now, go kick some ass.” He said and she laughed, opening the truck door. She shut it, giving him one last look before walking inside the doors.

She sat down in one of the waiting room chairs after signing in, a few minutes later an older man with big glasses popped his head out of the back. “Hailey?”

She stood, “Yes sir.”

The man smiled, “Come with me.” He led her back to an office, gesturing for her to sit on the couch while he sat in the chair across from her. “I’m Dr. Charles, but you can call me Daniel or Dan, or really whatever makes you comfortable.” He explained.

Hailey nodded, shifting nervously. “So, how does this work?” She asked.

“However you want it to, we can talk or not talk about anything you want.” He said, leaning back in his chair.

“Okay,” Hailey glanced at the ground, “The-There’s a lot…”

“That’s okay.”

Hailey grimaced, finally looking at him. “Where do I start?” She asked.

Dr. Charles smiled. “How about the beginning?”

Hailey sighed, taking a few deep breaths, ready to start confronting all the demons that she had been fighting for so long.

“Tell me everything.”

...

A/N: This is long but please, please, please read it!!

First, this is the end of this story, but it is not THE end! There will be a sequel and if you want to see a sneak peak, you can find it HERE. I am so so excited to continue exploring this version of these characters, and don’t worry, the next installment will be just as exciting as this one!

Second, thank you so so so so much to everyone who has shown love to and supported this story. It really means the world to me, you have no idea. This has been such an amazing experience and I have learned so much from writing this, so thank you so much for reading. You guys are truly incredible, and writing has helped me through a tough time in my life. I’m going to say thank you a million time, but thank you, thank you, thank you <3

This story evolved so much lol: in the beginning I had no plan, and then it changed like five times, and we ended up here, so here’s a few things that didn’t make it in.

Nadia was supposed to die in chapter 19, but I decided against it…

I debated Kevin and Stella getting together, don’t hate me for this ahaha

I almost made Kim lose her hearing, but I wasn’t sure I could do the storyline justice with everything else going on

I debated killing Adam (I’M SORRY, i’m sorry…)

And finally (cause you don’t need to know all of my secrets) I ALMOST broke up Upstead at the end

Anyway, there’s some behind the scenes action if you’re interested.

Back to the point: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME AND THIS STORY, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, and i cannot wait to embark on this next journey together!!

So much love,

Anna

@lissethsrojas @puckluck28 @fuckyeahkillianemma @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf @karihighman @ruzek-halstead @anotheronechicagobog @snowwhite013 @tracysupton @angelsjedi @carissalizz

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek au #burzek #kevin atwater #erin lindsay #stella kidd #trudy platt #chicago pd #kelly severide #one chicago #chicago pd au

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bosspigeon · 3 years

Text

one for sorrow

Pairing: Gen, M!Detective/Mason Word Count: 3483 Summary: Juniper Fenn reflects on memories, nursery rhymes, loneliness, and wanting to be wanted.

Just a little (uh... kinda big, actually?) character study for my soft boy, Juni! It wound up a lot more emotional than I originally intended, but I like having this insight into his character.

CW for (implied) deadnaming, misgendering, coming out, and in the last portion a non-graphic post-sex scene with some allusions to said sex ahfdsjh.

One for sorrow, two for joy.

He thought the needle would hurt more than it did. He closes his eyes and looks away, and the artist gives him the hairy eyeball when he clutches at Tina’s knee, like she’s afraid he’ll jump off the bench and bolt for the door. He wants to ask if that’s happened before, but he thinks he’s made enough of a fool of himself so far.

“You sure you’re good?” she asks, giving him an out. Somehow, that just strengthens his resolve.

He takes a slow breath and nods, closing his eyes.

He hears the buzzing, and when the machine first touches skin, he almost jumps, but he’s more worried about looking like more of a baby than he already does than he is startled, so he bites his lips and forces himself to holds still. And it does hurt, but not like he thought it would. He squints one eye open to watch the progress of the first line over his skin. He expects to be repulsed, like when he’s having bloodwork done, and he has to look away from the needle going into his arm. But this is different, somehow. Doesn’t make his stomach turn.

“This is the quietest I’ve ever seen you,” Tina teases, when the first wing has taken shape. He almost jumps again, but he manages to contain it to a twitch. He’s going to tip the artist as much as he’s able after this is done, just for dealing with someone as fidgety as him.

He chews at his lip. “It’s… I dunno. I wouldn’t say it feels good, but it’s kind of soothing, in a weird way?”

She leans over, watching, and the artist gives her a bit of a look, so she backs up again. “Have you told your mum?” she asks.

He snorts out a laugh and looks away, back at the stencil on his arm that will soon be filled in with black feathers and ringed with flowers. “Of course not. She’d probably kill me.”

“She doesn’t like tattoos?” Tina tilts her head, watching his face like she’s waiting for him to start whining about how it hurts. She’s always been the tougher of the two of them, and he’s got no illusions about that, so he’s sort of proud of himself for keeping his cool—as much as he’s got anyway.

He shrugs the arm that’s not under the machine, and wonders when he’ll get his next tattoo. He’s already got ideas for more, and knowing that it’s not so bad as he was worried it would be is exciting. Not to mention, it’s something that’s just for him. Not for anyone else. He’s… never really done anything like this before. “I don’t know what she likes, but I doubt she’d approve.”

She sucks her teeth and he squeezes her knee again when she gives him that soft, sad look she sometimes does when his mum comes up in conversation. “What’s it going to be?” she asks suddenly. Tina’s a good friend, changing the subject before he can get moody about it.

“A magpie,” he says softly, looking back down to watch the lone bird slowly taking shape on his skin.

Three for a girl, four for a boy.

He asks what happened to all the pretty paintings around the house when he’s ten, because they disappear sometime after one of Mum’s visits, when she seemed more distant than usual. Maybe she hopes he won’t notice, but he misses them immediately. The house is too bare without them, it feels so lonely. It’s always been lonely, ever since Dad passed, but the bare walls make it even lonelier. Mum brushes it off, of course. He’s used to it at this point, so he doesn’t push her, but he’s also stubborn, so he goes looking. He’s even more determined when she tries to shut him up by replacing them all with clean, impersonal prints in neat little frames. He finds them in the attic, tucked away in a box, each one slipped carefully into a protective sleeve or folder and wrapped in tissue paper. He finds a dreamy matted watercolor of him as a baby, fat and freckly and smiling with no teeth, and he has to take a minute to sit down and cry as quietly as possible before he can start going through the rest. There’s a folder of scrawled pencil portraits, too. He finds one of Mum sitting on a pier, peeking back over her shoulder with her hair blowing in the wind. She’s smiling. He can’t remember the last time he saw her smile.

There’s a self portrait that makes him laugh through his tears, because the reflective surface Dad seems to have used as his mirror is a Christmas ornament, so his face is distorted, one eye huge, his tongue out, drawing himself drawing. He keeps that one for sure, and a few of the other ones he thinks he can get away with. An oil pastel of a wooden swing dripping with honeysuckle, a colored pencil drawing of the library, a few studies of people and plants and animals, and another watercolor of the three magpies, sitting in a juniper tree.

There are three magpies painted on his bedroom wall, from back when it was his nursery. Dad painted them right after he was born, before they brought him home from the hospital. They’d waited until he arrived to know what his gender would be. Of course, he went and messed that up, like he did most things. Sometimes he wonders if Dad would be disappointed, or if he’d think it was funny.

They used to be above his crib, and then his bed when he outgrew that, but he moves his bed to the opposite side of his room when he’s fourteen, and covers them with a poster. He thinks for sure Mum’s going to give him an earful about it, but he’s surprised she hasn’t tried to cover them up herself. He supposes it’s not really an issue, since when she is home, it’s not like she spends any time in his bedroom.

And then he's sixteen, and he’s been practicing his watercolor for years at this point. Sometimes, he creeps into the attic when he’s got the house to himself, rifles through Dad’s paintings, studies his style for as long as he can. He’s been old enough not to need a proper nanny for years now, though someone comes to check up on him frequently and make sure he’s got food and necessities, but beyond that he’s got plenty of time alone. He sits in the attic until he's sore from the wooden floor, trying to think of how Dad’s hands might have looked while he worked, the speed and angle of his brush strokes. He doesn’t think he can find anything new at this point, as many times as he’s snuck up here to look at Dad’s work, but out of the blue, he finds what might have been a really nice landscape, if it weren’t marred by fat little handprints in bright yellow and green, as if he’d smeared his hands across the palette the second Da took his eyes off it, and slapped them down in the middle of the paper. He comes back to it a lot, when he spends time in the attic, because when he looks at it, he swears he can hear what he imagines Dad’s laugh sounded like, his voice calling him a little menace with all the fondness in the world.

And then he’s eighteen, and he’s alone on his birthday. Mum calls, tells him she loves him and she would come and visit him later on, so they could do something together, but she couldn’t take the day off. She tells him how proud she is of her daughter being all grown up, and he winces, but keeps his mouth shut.

And then he maybe gets a little bit drunk, drags out his paints and brushes, rifles through the portfolio hidden carefully in the back of his closet, and finds the painting with the juniper tree and the three magpies

He takes another shot to steady his nerves, and paints in a fourth.

Five for silver, six for gold.

He shouldn’t be surprised Mum doesn't come to his graduation, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. She’s busy, she’s always been busy, she’s been busy since he was a toddler.

He was stupid to believe anything he did would be important enough for her to bother with. To believe that he could matter to anyone enough.

Tina’s stepmum had more foresight than he did, inviting him along to her and Tina’s celebration dinner at a fancy restaurant out of town, and he has to take a minute to cry in the bathroom after they proudly present him with a messily wrapped gift and a card that practically explodes with glitter when he open it, but he can’t even pretend to be annoyed because it has his name in it, and while he's trying very hard not to break down crying in public, Tina hugs him so tightly his spine creaks and tells him she couldn’t have wished for a better brother.

When they drop him off at home, his eyes are still red and a bit wet, he’s full of good food and affection, and he’s smiling like an idiot in spite of the fact that he can’t stop sniffling. The heavy sterling silver magpie skull charm rests against his collarbone, the weight comforting in a way he can’t hope to put into words. He'll never forget Tina’s dewy, smiling eyes as she clasped it around his neck and told him proudly, “Now you’ve got two.'"

He falls into bed holding the charm, reluctant to take it off, but knowing he should put it somewhere safe before bed. He exhales a happy sigh, laughing a bit wetly to himself.

And then his phone vibrates in the pocket of his slacks, and his heart seizes in his chest.

He doesn’t have to check the ID to know who it is. Nobody ever calls him, and his eyes flicker anxiously to the pressed dress in its plastic garment bag still hanging untouched on the back of his closet door. He’d given Tina the expensive name-brand heels for her own graduation outfit, because even if he did want them, he couldn’t walk in the damn things anyway. Lucky for him, they wear the same size shoe.

He takes a moment to calm his breathing, but that means he has to fumble to answer the call before it ends, and he winces when he sees two more missed calls in his log. “Mum!” he blurts, his voice instinctively pitching higher. “Hi! How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she tells him easily. “I’m sorry again I couldn’t make it today. There was a—”

“A big project, I know,” he finishes. It’s always a project, or a trip, or a meeting. The details are always scant, but Mum knows how to make it sound big and important and in need of her attention. He’s tried not to be bitter about it, but there’s always been a part of him that wishes, for once, she’d decide he was important enough to need her attention. “It’s okay, Mum.” It’s not, it never was, but it would be selfish of him to tell her that. She’s got enough to worry about.

“Well, I didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten, so I had a gift delivered. It should have arrived today.”

He bites back a sigh. He wonders if it would be easier if she had just forgotten. If it would hurt less than knowing she always made the decision not to see him. “Oh, I’ll go check!” he blurts, trying to inject as much enthusiasm into his voice as possible. He rolls out of bed and heads for the door, poking out to check the mailbox. Of course, inside there is a slim, rectangular package, wrapped in tidy brown paper. The address and names are printed on stickers.

He takes it inside with the phone tucked against his shoulder, weighing the box in his hands. It’s light, and he wants to be excited about whatever it is, but he’s suddenly drained from the day, from crying and laughing and crying some more.

The dining room, somehow, has always felt more lonely than anywhere else in the house, and he’s never been able to figure out why, but he puts the package on the table and starts picking at the neat wrapping. Mum is quiet on the other end of the phone, waiting, and Juni wants to break the odd silence, but can’t even begin to think of what to say. He wishes he didn’t bite his nails, because it takes him way too long to break into the pristine paper, and inside is a long red jewelry box. When he lifts the lid, there is a delicate gold necklace resting on a soft velvet pad, understated and objectively lovely, if not really his style, but it’s the note that flutters out of the box that catches his attention. His eyes skim the note, expecting her usual platitudes that he sometimes wonders if she has someone else type for her.

I am so proud of the woman you’ve become.

His breath leaves him in a painful, strangled rush, his lungs squeezing tight in his chest. And before Mum can speak, he blurts "I can't take this," trailed by a ragged sob.

“Of course you can,” she says gently, kindly. “I know how you get about expensive gifts, but really, it’s no trouble—”

His head fills with screaming static when she calls him what she’s always called him, what she doesn’t know better than to call him, because he’s never told her. He’s never had the chance, it’s never been the right time, it felt wrong not to do it in person, but whenever he sees her in person he feels like he shouldn’t waste the time with her by bringing up something so…

“My name is Juniper!” It explodes out of him, louder than he’s ever been with her, and it stuns her into silence. “I’m not your daughter!” he cries desperately, “I’m your son. You can’t be proud of the woman I’ve become, because I’m not a woman!” He sounds insane, he knows he does, shrill and frantic, but his heart is hammering so hard he feels dizzy, the walls are yawning wide around him, the dining room feels huge and so empty and so bleak. He’s never felt more alone in this dark, quiet house he’s spent his entire life rattling around in than he does in this exact moment, and it’s suffocating. His phone drops from shaking fingers onto the floor, and he drops with it, curling into a ball and struggling to remember how to breathe, dizzily hoping he won’t need to go scrambling for his inhaler. His fingers clench so tightly around the heavy silver charm he’s almost worried he’s going to snap the simple leather cord, but he needs to ground himself or he feels like he’ll dissolve entirely.

He hears Mum calling the name that’s not his, and when he finally manages to fumble his phone with nerveless fingers, he winces seeing the screen is cracked. “I’m sorry,” he sobs weakly, his eyes burning with tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He can’t even be sure what he’s apologizing for, but he knows he has to, especially when he slams the end call button and buries his face in his knees so he can cry alone in the dark.

Seven for a secret, never to be told.

Juni’s skin is starting to get clammy, but he’s too comfortable to move. Eventually, he’s going to have to, if for nothing else than to get up and get cleaned up, but for now, he’s happy, if a little chilly. He nuzzles into the soft curls dusted across Mason’s chest, and lets his eyelids fall to half-mast, just open enough to absently count the freckles hidden under the chest hair, inevitably lose count, and start counting again. Mason smells good, cooling sweat and sandalwood, and dozy as he is, it takes a moment for Juni to realize he doesn’t really smell like smoke at all anymore. His room doesn’t smell lke smoke, either, he realizes. His heart thuds hard behind his ribs.

He gets distracted when a shiver rolls over him, the chill suddenly overwhelming against his sticky skin, and he curls further into Mason’s chest in an attempt to leach some of his warmth.

Mason clicks his tongue, and Juni’s whole body stiffens, worry zinging into his gut to rattle around there like a bird in a too-small cage. Mason shifts underneath him, and he starts to roll away, to apologize, to get out of his hair, before a strong hand clasps the back of his neck.

“Hold still,” Mason grunts, sitting up and patting around for the edge of the blanket. He pulls it out from under them both, which almost sends the detective rolling off the bed against his will this time, but Mason's hand shifts down to spread across his lower back and hold him steady until he can get them both tucked underneath.

He flops back against the pillows again, one arm tucked under his head and the other loose at his side, and slowly, cautiously, Juni crawls his way under it. The hand lands on his hip and squeezes, and Juni settles his head back on the vampire’s chest just in time to hear the pleased little rumble there. He flushes down to his chest and bites his lip, distracting himself by petting at Mason’s chest hair.

And then he pokes his flat, brown nipple and says, “Boop!” on some stupid impulse, and giggles like an idiot.

Mason scoffs and rolls his eyes, but shifts so that Juni’s thigh hitches up over his. “Keep that up, sweetheart, and we’ll be going into round two sooner rather than later.” Juni can feel the truth in that statement against his thigh, and he blushes so hotly he knows Mason can feel it at every point their bodies are touching. He might be approaching supernova levels of heat when Mason smugly adds, “Well, round two for me. Three for you.”

He hides his face in Mason’s chest with a long groan. “I’m going to explode,” he declares. “I’m going to collapse like a dying star.”

Mason laughs, sharp and startled and shockingly bright, and Juni’s head shoots up so he can see his face. His hair is a mess, but of course it still looks amazing, hanging around his face in loose, sweat-damp spirals. His vulpine grey eyes are crinkling at the corners, even his sharp nose wrinkling in a way that makes Juni’s heart almost stop. And his mouth, usually either pinned into a scowl, or twisted into a sly (and stupidly attractive) smirk, is curled into a smile, breathtaking in its open softness.

God, I love you, Juni wants to cry, his heart pounding in counterpoint to the desperate, silent declaration he traps behind his teeth by digging them into his lower lip so hard he’s almost afraid he’s going to make himself bleed. And it doesn’t stop. I love you, I love you, I love you drums in his chest, hums through his blood, and when Mason catches him looking, he reaches out to push the tangled forelock of curls hanging in Juni’s eyes out of his face, cupping his cheek to pull him into a kiss. Juni shivers and braces his hand on Mason’s chest, feeling the vampire’s heart thumping there, steady and stable and achingly familiar. His own matches it beat for beat, and thankfully his mouth is too occupied for the pulsing plea of love me, love me, please love me to spill out. So he dives into it, clings to it, and when Mason breaks away to let him breathe, Juni buries his mouth against the arch of his throat instead, presses messy kisses to his collarbones, his chest, his shoulders, throttles the words before they can escape him and pushes them into touches instead. Touches can’t damn him the way words can.

There’s a soft, shameful part of him he ignores like he always has that whispers to him that maybe, just maybe, if he pours enough of himself into every kiss, every touch, that the words will finally be understood. That the weak little part of him he buries deeper and deeper every time it cries out will finally be seen, and answered, and cradled tenderly in someone’s strong, freckled hands.

But until then, it will sit there in his chest under lock and key and ache, like all his secrets do.

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