rinwritiesbutitssecret

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

new story

Cayden: My boyfriend, George, is an asshole. I am too. But we’re assholes together and I love him for it.

We’re definitely not the most normal couple, especially a normal gay couple, but fuck it being normal ain’t shit.

I wake up with George once again doing yoga at 5 am. At this point I think he’s just trying to fuck with me.

I kiss his head, before heading to the bathroom.

I spend a lot of time at his house, especially since my parents are interesting to say the least.

His parents are very nice, and also very rich.

Money is their love language which is a blessing and a curse, especially for Georgie.

I have everything but money to give him.

Sometimes, I feel bad about it. Especially since we go to private school. Most boyfriends can afford to buy their girlfriend’s fancy jewelry and flowers, I can’t afford a candy bar.

And to be fair, he is not a girl who would appreciate diamond earrings and roses, but regardless I feel not enough.

I’m on a sports scholarship, full ride. It means I’m good. I know it means I’m good.

But I don’t always feel like I’m very good at it.

I’m a swimmer, he’s a football jock. We’re hot shit I suppose.

We’re essentially the only gay people out at school. It’s good and bad in its own ways.

And I mean, considering both George I could kick any homophobes ass, most people don’t start shit, but it definitely does some stuff to my self esteem.

Every girl loves him, even though he’s gay, just gay.

It makes me doubt myself, a lot.

So shockingly, I don’t have great mental health.

George kinda knows, but just kinda. I don’t always tell him what’s going on in my brain, I know it’ll stress him out.

I get bullied a lot. I know I can kick their ass. I know I can. But I just let it happen. I don’t know why really.

I don’t tell George about it, I know he’ll get super worried about me and then stop preforming well in football. I don’t wanna be his burden.

I swim 5 times a week, it’s definitely stressful. But I still place first, so it works.

I’m not very good at school I guess. My teachers like me. I just really, really struggle to get stuff done.

My brain just, walks away, it moves on, and everything becomes really loud and distracting and I forget what I’m doing until it’s too late and I’ve missed the lesson.

Maybe I’m just stupid.

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

new story ig

Sometimes I find the days have disappeared. And though I am a child, I've been told I'm wise beyond my years. Whatever that means.

Honestly, I dislike people calling me smart. It makes me feel as though it isn't normal. Maybe it isn't normal. The kids at school used to call me weird, but realistically how weird can I be? We're all different, right?

I grew up inside a library, so it's not my fault I read all the books. That's how I learned everything I know. Books raised me.

Safe to say I'm not the most normal person on the planet, but I like it.

My name is Haven. I'm 14.

i work at a camp, teaching kids how to code.

I graduated university last year, and I didn't really have the ability to get a job. So coding.

Is it interesting? Not really. But I get money and I learned to code like 8 years ago so it worked out.

My dad is a billionaire. My mom is dead. I have no other family.

My dad does fucking hate me, but he lets me live in the library of his 3 billion dollar mansion.

He resents me for a lot of reasons. But especially for my mom's death. Though I don't really see how it's my fault, I'll accept blame.

Because of this, I wasn't raised in a very loving environment. As a child, I was raised by a single nanny, who beat me until I became normal.

Honestly, I miss her. Now I'm just alone.

I'm not very happy, I suppose. Sometimes I hurt myself. Sometimes I cry. A lot of the time I feel as though the world is ending.

But it's okay.

I'm okay.

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

notes thing

tw

rules: 1 reblog, 5 comments per person

50 - I'll actually lock in: bust out all my owed work, clean my room, start going to school regularly

100 - I'll fr send my grandma my shein list and get the clothes I actually need/want

200 - I'll try to get back into my hobbies again: writing, learning norwegian, reading

300 - I'll implement better habits in my life: proper sleep schedule, eating better, journaling more, prioritizing personal hygiene, whateva

400 - I'll actually reach out for help/talk to people when I need things

500 - I'll try to quit vaping/smoking

1 000 - I'll throw out my blades😰

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

chpt 3?????

So now, hiding in the bathroom, we’re staring at each other blankly.

And then I blurt it out. “Aster, I'm a demon.”

The tension is thick, I could cut it. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm hacking at it with a knife as I try to make small talk. But what the hell can I say?

Finally, I mumble, “I think- I think it’s nice that my favourite person in the world is immortal.”

“M- me too..”

Aster:

So we’re going to the court together. Today. Right now. 

Currently, my list of excuses includes: 

I drove off that cliff for science

I’m too stupid to get good grades

I would be sad if I had parents

Only two people know I’m a demon

Not great. But it’s hard to make a point when I don’t actually know what I did.

Aspen is nervous, I don’t blame xem, but it’s really not helping me either.

So as we walk into the court, hand in hand, all I can hope for is the best.

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

chapter two ig?????

—--

I want to bring both Rae and Aspen along, but again, that would include me telling xem. 

My court date is January 4th. It’s currently December 21st. That gives me two weeks to tell Aspen and figure out what excuses I can give.

I’m spending Christmas with Aspy this year. Rae’s parents are getting a bit fed up with me, I think so at least. 

Maybe I can tell xem then?

I don’t know, I haven’t felt too good recently. Holidays always make me feel alone, I have no parents, no family other than Rae and Aspen. 

I chose not to have guardians, back in the afterlife. It would make me so sad for them to die. But, it also means I've been alone my whole life. Little second-time-around newborn me was cared for by the afterlife nurses and then plopped into a special home for a few years. After that it was just.. Me. If I’m homeless, they help, I get my allowance and stuff, but no one really cares for me. 

I feel like I can't complain though. I’m so fucking lucky. I’m so fucking special. 

Today’s one of those days when I feel extra lonely. Aspen is busy and Rae is on a date. I just lie in bed and do nothing. 

Nothing is interesting I guess. Sometimes nothing is crying, sometimes it's driving my motorcycle off a bridge, but it’s nothing. It doesn’t affect me, it doesn't mean anything, it doesn’t change anything.

Aspen:

Aster is so cool. I love him, just not.. Romantically. Well I think not romantically.

I don’t truly understand what I feel for him. We’re more than friends, less than lovers, some weird thing in between. 

Just sometimes, I feel like he’s not fully here with me. He’s distracted, in a new place. Maybe he’s in love with Rae. 

Aster isn’t very good at school. But he also doesn’t try. He’s never taken me home. I don’t even know if he has parents.

He’s my best friend but I know nothing about him. 

I’m too scared to ask. I love what we have. I love our conversations. I love laying in my bed with him and watching shitty tv and talking about gender. 

I don’t know what he’s hiding.

“Astie? C- can we talk?” My voice is shaky. 

“Yeah of course, what’s up?” He sits next to me, fidgeting with his hoodie strings.

“I- ok this sounds really dumb.. B- bu- but are you hiding something from me? A- I- I just feel like you’re not telling me something..”

He goes pale. Like really, really fucking pale. 

“Ast?”

“We need to talk.”

He shoots up, sprinting out of the lunch hall.

I follow.

…

What the fuck. 

So a little bit about me… I'm kinda sorta a demon. Not like a demon demon. But I have been alive for 3500 years. Once I start looking old I go back to hell and just reset. 

A little bit about Aspen.. Apparently they’re fucking immortal.

Like what the actual fuck.

I never thought I would meet someone like me. I never thought it would be my best friend.

Yet here we are.

—

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

This is my writing account!!

My main blog is @osemanverseenthusist

This writing is purely for me so don’t expect it to be coherent, good or complete. I mainly write to process the things in my brain.

Because of that, please no constructive criticism or anything.

I’ll be posting random stories, and snippets from my two main stories

[rinwritiesbutitssecret]

new story part one!!!!

Today was a good day, until it wasn’t.

I suppose it started when I woke up at 7. 7 pm.

Late for most, not for me. 

I should be attending school, but I really can’t be bothered. 

My day was pretty normal, until I drove my motorcycle off a mountain. 

Now I’m not saying I was trying, but I definitely wasn’t stopping myself. I just wanted to test it, y’know?

I guess I should give some background information. 

106 years ago, I died. Kinda.

I fell off the roof of my house and hit my head.

I technically died for a bit, then I was in a coma for 3 days. 

But apart from my body, my being took a different path. I was given the choice to come back, and I said yes.

Comatosis was honestly nice and relaxing. But the time after I woke up was anything but. 

People treated me very differently than how I was treated previously. They treated me like fine china, a glass structure that’ll break with any touch. 

Except, I literally can’t break.

Present: So yeah, I’m immortal. And every time I hit 100, I reset. Of course, it’s only happened once, so who’s to tell me when?

Honestly, it’s a bit inconvenient considering that so far I’ve been born in the wrong body twice. I am a boy. I promise. Just I don’t exactly match that body-wise. 

I thought it’d be fixed by the time I reset, but sadly, it hasn’t. 

So yeah, I’m Aster, I’m 114, and I’m immortal. 

I guess that's enough for me. 

I like to test my powers sometimes with big stunts like driving motorcycles off mountains. But in the back of my mind, there’s always a small worry—a small worry that I won’t wake up. 

The motorcycle was a bit much, but it’s a trashy one I made myself and was probably going to explode next week anyway. 

My best friend, Rae, is not very similar to me. They prefer school and staying indoors, but that’s how we balance out.

She helps me navigate the logistics part of being immortal, ID's, and such. The afterlife committee issued me a special ID, meaning I act like a 14-year-old, and the government considers me a 14-year-old. 

The afterlife committee is a lot. It consists of a lot of people, all deciding who stays and goes. Why me? I really don’t know. But I like to think it’s because I have a purpose. 

“Rae-rae….”

“Yes, Ast?”

“Can I have your math homework?”

“Aster! You have to do it yourself!”

“What fun is there in that?”

We’re lying on their bed, holding hands. We kind of just do it. I don’t know why. 

A lot of people ask if we’re dating, but I just... I don’t feel any of that sort of stuff. Rae, on the other hand, likes a lot of people. 

Again, balance. 

Monday:

Today, I’m actually attending school.

I put on my favourite black cargos, chains, and trinkets dangling off of my belt loops and pockets. I chose a white tank top I drew on in a Sharpie. And finally a nice green hoodie because it is December. 

Today is something special, hence why I’m attending. Big Man Rae-rae is having a presentation. 

I also have a presentation, technically, but with no slides and no script, I plan to do a more unique presentation style, improv.

Y’know, school isn’t that worth it to me. Math is cool and all, but the real stuff is engineering. And like, yeah, should I know math for that? Probably, but I can already code and stuff, so it’s fine.

Rae, perfectly together as always, does a great job and gets an A reporting on some smart people's book.

I, on the other hand, make up a 30 second speech on the one book I’ve read in my life, and then sit down dramatically. 

Shockingly, I fail, miserably. Lucky for me, there is no guardian to call in and instead I sit in the principal's office for like 5 minutes and promise to be better. 

“Rae-rae!”

“Yes?” The person that turns around is very much not Rae. Instead, it’s a kid I’ve never seen.

“Y- you’re not Rae…”

“Yeah. I’m Aspen.”

This Aspen kid, xyr special. I don’t know why really. Just a feeling.

Rae, in an ever spiralling romantic situation with this girl Emma, is happy to know I also have a new friend. I wonder if it’s because she wants to dump our friendship. 

She’s hoping Aspen and I will start dating. 

Aspen and I fit together like a puzzle. 

That’s how I think about it. 

Rae is my best friend, always will be, but Aspen is like best friend plus more. 

I wouldn’t say we’re dating, but definitely something close to it. 

I don’t often understand what I’m feeling. I’m weird like that. But recently, well, ever since Aspen, I haven’t really been able to describe what I feel for Xem. 

My other issue is that Aspen doesn’t exactly know I’m immortal. And if we are to extend our relationship, I feel like that could be important.

And it’s not that I don’t want to tell Xem, but I don’t know how I’m meant to bring that up. With Rae, it kinda just. Came out?

Oh, and issue number three, which, considering its importance, I probably should’ve remembered, but whatever. I’ve been summoned to the afterlife committee, meaning I’ve either royally messed up or they decided to revoke my immortality. Both aren’t great options.