#california scene

[torncartilage]

hopefully alone - septemberistheonlytimeidontthinkofyou

july//23//2024// sumwhere in california

This is from September’s last show. SITOTIDTOY is my current favorite 5th wave emo band, super sad I never caught them live, and that they broke up. This is their most popular song but go check out their discography it’s super good. Some other of my favorites are: Will meet again, Girls I like math when I get confused I commit scuicide, I wrote a song but forgot, Gavin’s song, and infected with your lies.

Credit to A Harsh Tale on YouTube ^^

[cherriesandwinegirl]

Sharon Tate on the set of the Wrecking Crew as Freya Carlson in 1968

[agelessphotography]

San Francisco at Night, Willard E. Worden, 1904

[succubuschic]

Dino Sommese from Dystopia

[lappophotography]

Santa Monica looking fantastic this evening

[emaadsidiki]

Playground of the Pacific ∼ Morro Bay 🌅

[toobusybeingdelulu]

look who is speaking…

[blackhholes]

Teen Wolf

Created by Jeff Davies(2011-2017)

[rooolt]

and he’s more concerned about going to college with his boy best friend than he is about going to college with his literal girlfriend,,,,,,,,,,,, which could mean nothing

[retropopcult]

Hollywood Blvd at Wilcox, 1926

[herbalnature]

A vibrant banana slug seems to hug a tiny mushroom amidst the forest floor litter, showcasing nature's small wonders. It's a tiny moment of connection in the vastness of Northern California's ecosystems.

[agelessphotography]

Case Study House #22, Julius Shulman, 1960

[menlove]

some of the gayest things i did w my girl besties as a kid that haunt me daily even though i'm almost 25

laying on the hot cement of the playground watching the clouds, talking about which boys we'd date in class, and i look over at her and notice how the sun is turning her black hair slightly red in the sun and sigh and say "i wish i were a boy, 'cause then i'd date you"

made a new best friend a little after her who was a year younger than me and i wanted to live inside her skin, a little bit, and went over to her house constantly. i drew her silly art, those weird emo blobs from the mid aughts, and she hung it up on her door. we joked about being married a lot. when i had to move away across the country, one night i was staring up at the moon while listening to a love song and started sobbing wondering if she was also looking at the moon. i never texted her again.

when i was 12 i fell in love with a girl for the first time i knew about. i had just gotten over being weirded out by gay people & when the kids in class started whispering about us being dykes, my teacher called home about it. i cried my eyes out in a red pickup truck with my mom as i told her i was in love with her, but it was fine because she was straight. i was drinking a red slushie.

once with that same girl, we went on a field trip to a nearby science museum. it was within walking distance and she held my hand the whole way, even though we were too old for it. at some point i started swinging her hand and knocking into her and laughing and eventually she just picked me up, put me on her back, and carried me the rest of the way while we laughed. at the museum, she kept finding me and holding my hand again. i went home that night, so giddy, and just kept thinking about her hand in mine and didn't even care about what the rest of the kids were whispering

in february, before that, she'd asked me which girl i had a crush on in class because i'd posted about it on tumblr. it took me a half hour to finally tell her it was her, blushing to my ears as we walked around the perimeter of the playground (we were at a small private school with less than 100 students, so even the middle schoolers got to use the playground), refusing to look at her. she told me she didn't feel like that, but i was still her best friend and she wasn't mad at me or weirded out. if one of us were boys, she said, maybe it would've worked out. her mom moved her back to california at the end of the school year. i never saw her again and she wasn't allowed to talk to me. she messaged me once, years later on here, to tell me i was pretty in a prom dress i'd tried on. she blocked me later.

i wrote down a story about her, a year later, for 8th grade english class. in it, i imagined that she'd never left, and that she'd kissed me while we laid in the grass, mixing up my stories and my life. my teacher looked at me with such a soft sadness and told me it was very beautifully written. she wanted me to submit it to a contest. it won.

[herrscherofmagic]

Collection of WIPs for my newest honkai 3rd AU: a synth- and post-punk band AU! featuring the band “Mirror Mirage”

More art and an explanation further below

I dont want to put too many details down yet since i intend to do more with this and don’t necessarily want to spoil future story stuff, but the gist of it is that its an AU focused on the villainous Herrscher personas (except Veli, but she fits the vibe lol)

The tentative setting I’m working with for now is Central Florida and its meant to be a more serious/realistic AU with a focus on young adult life, not late-teens stuff. Think less “fun times at Perfect Fairytale College(TM) with my besties! Lets have fun and study today!” and more “rent is due, my roommates are assholes, the hourly bus is 20 minutes late again, and i almost got hit by a drunk driver on my way to work for the third time week and it’s only Tuesday”. That sort of thing lmao

I’m not sure if there’s any real interest in a story that focuses more on some underrated characters like Herrscher Mei (not normal Mei as a Herrscher, but her alternate persona), much less a story that also deals with more serious IRL issues

Mei is bassist and a vocalist, formerly lead until Kiana (more precisely HoV in Honkai terms) joined; Mei also handles the finances as she is an accountant in her day job working at a community redevelopment agency. Has a strong sense of justice and puts on an air of confidence and superiority on stage and when fending off hostile folks, but acts with great humility with the ordinary people she encounters in her daily life.

Kiana is the (new) lead vocalist. Works the graveyard shift at a gas station and is a self-proclaimed “cynical asshole” that barely gets along with anyone else; also plays the guitar occasionally. She was dragged in by Mei and reluctantly joined the band, leading to an awkward and tense relationship with the others, but her incredible skill as a vocalist means the rest of them put up with her shitty attitude.

Seele is the lead guitarist; she is an immigrant from Estonia and came to the US with Elysia a couple years back, in early 2022. Keeps in touch w/ Bronya, who is still living back in Europe. Tends to be a bit withdrawn but is very loyal to the band and would throw hands to protect the crew. Seele has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and is a system comprised of two alters: Saule and Veliona. Veliona is the one that actively plays in the band.

Elysia (HoC in Honkai terms) is the synth player and mixer, and does a lot of work in planning and executing complicated tracks both live and in studio recordings. Despite being having no local heritage, she loves switching between a southern cowgirl persona and her usual preppy nice-girl persona. Since Elysia is said to be from “Vladivostok 51” in Honkai canon, that would make her Russian; however for the purposes of this story im headcanoning her as Ukrainian (which ik is far from Vladivostok irl), simply to mix things up a bit, lol

Fu Hua (Senti in Honkai terms) is the drummer; still a college student, shes a bit of an odd one out in the group, but was there since the beginning and has grown close with the rest. Has a bit of an attitude and says cocky things, but is much more timid at heart and acts a lot more calm with her friends at school.

A huge part of the inspiration for this story is a desire to try and depict the more ordinary aspects of urban life, adding flavor to mundane daily activities without relying on magic or scifi or high-octane action and drama. The villains of the story aren’t comic book supervillains, but rather its the various systems that the characters have to live within- corrupt governance, financial struggle, societal divide, etc.

I also really want to tell a story that emphasizes the queer experience. Not just the usual lovey-dovey girls-love stuff, but what life is actually like for real women in real sapphic relationships when living in the state that passed the infamous “Don’t Say Gay” bill IRL. As much as I love the canon KiaMei relationship in Honkai 3rd, i think it’s hella sanitized and can’t really convey the depth of the history and culture of the LGBTQ+ community. So I’m hoping to address this by placing their relationship in a specific real setting, one where LGBTQ+ folks (including myself) have to fight for our rights, acceptance, and representation.

As for musical inspiration I largely draw from a few big sources: one of the bigger inspirations is ASTROPHYSICS & MINTTT, as well as more recently Chappell Roan; genre influences include rock/punk, synth/EDM, and Sovietwave! This is both inspiration for their vibes and also for what type of music i imagine this band would play

The last image is a more suggestive one but ive hastily and sloppily censored it, so hopefully that is okay with y’all x-x

I rarely make spicier content like this, but having listened to The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess for the first time today and then listening to it 4 more times in a row, I couldn’t help but push the limits of what i usually do just that little bit, lol

[emaadsidiki]

Life by the bay and the downtown. 🌊🏠

[doyelikehaggis]

7 Days of Scarepairs: Sciles | Scott McCall x Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf) + “Grief”

Requested by @joanthangroff (TW mention of suicide attempt)

It was a long ride back from the motel. At least, it felt longer. Stiles' gaze burning holes in the side of his face wasn't making it go any faster, either. Scott could see his bouncing leg, hear his racing heart and smell the anxiety radiating off of him. Even if he were oblivious to all of that, he would still know something was wrong with him.

"Stiles," he said wearily, looking at him properly for the first time since Coach snatched his whistle back off of Lydia and told them to sit down. "Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. All good."

The way he glanced at him said otherwise. Scott raised his eyebrows pointedly and the leg bouncing stopped. Stiles ran a hand over his thigh and nodded jerkily as if reiterating that he was fine.

"Look, we're gonna figure this out, okay?" Scott assured him as best he could. "From what Ethan said, there's a good chance that Derek is alive. Once we get back to Beacon Hills, we can find him, and we can make a better plan. No one else is going to get hurt."

He just managed to bite back a promise. He knew he couldn't. He only hoped that it was the truth.

But Stiles stared at him like he could see right through him, his eyes narrowing. He parted his lips like he was going to retort, as he usually would, but instead, he just shook his head and turned to face the back of the seat in front of him. As he ran a hand over his face, Scott frowned.

"You're angry," he blurted out.

Stiles shook his head again and sighed. "No. No, Scotty, I'm not angry." His heart skipped but he acted like Scott couldn't hear it. "I'm just... I'm tired. Last night was..."

"I know," Scott said softly. His own heart skipped. "But the darach's not going to catch us by surprise like that again."

Stiles nodded, but he didn't say anything else. In fact, he didn't say anything else for the rest of the ride. Scott wanted to, but something stopped him. He took to staring out the window and letting his eyes unfocus as he repeated his plan to find Derek in his mind the whole way home.

*

The bus dropped them off at the school. Stiles insisted on driving Scott home, even though he had his bike. He didn't put up a fight - he just wanted to go home and see his mom before he did anything else. That phone call back at the motel had felt too real. He just needed to see her.

Of course, she was at work. Scott sighed when he found the note on the fridge, but he told himself not to overthink it. She was fine.

"Alright, well, I think we should go to Derek's loft first," he said, turning to Stiles who was lingering by the back door, his arms folded. "He'd most likely have gone back there to try and heal."

He frowned.

"Although, if the alpha pack are looking for him, that might be too obvious. Maybe we should try the animal clinic first. He could've gone to Deaton, right?"

He waited for Stiles to agree with him or suggest something he hadn't thought of because right then, all Scott had was a handful of guesses and maybes.

But Stiles didn't chime in. He shrugged when he realized Scott was looking at him.

"Stiles, are you sure you're okay?" he asked gently.

Stiles dragged a hand over his face and sighed again, his tongue in his cheek, and he could smell the irritation on him, just like when they were on the bus.

"You know what? No," he snapped, throwing his hand up. "No, Scott, I'm not okay, and, quite frankly, neither are you, and I don't get why we're just pretending that last night never happened. Because it did."

"Do you mean..." Scott couldn't quite get the words out, his throat closing up around them and forcing them back down. He shifted his feet, his gaze dropping to the ground for a moment. "The wolfsbane?"

"Yeah, I'm talking about the wolfsbane," Stiles said, his voice thick with emotion he was failing to contain. "More specifically, what the wolfsbane did to you, Scott."

Scott shook his head, his eyebrows drawing together as he tried to ignore the sick feeling weighing down on him. "It was just... you saw what it did to all of us. Ethan-"

"Tried to saw himself open, yeah," Stiles cut him off. "Probably something to do with his freakish ability to combine into one even more freakish mutation with Aiden. Isaac - he was hiding under his bed. Boyd and Lydia were hearing things. But you, Scott..."

He took a step toward him, and Scott watched his feet, observing every little detail of his shoes and the kitchen floor.

"Scott, you tried to kill yourself."

"It was just..."

"No. No, Scott, the wolfsbane brought out all of your biggest fears and just - just heightened your true emotions. Boyd's guilt about his sister, Isaac's fear of his dad, Lydia always being the one to find dead bodies. It wasn't the wolfsbane talking when you did that. Was it?"

Scott knew he had to give him an answer. He just didn't think either of them really wanted to hear it. The truth hung in the air between them, as suffocating as the gasoline that still clung to Scott's senses.

"It doesn't matter," he said quietly, then looked up to meet Stiles' disbelieving stare. "We need to find Derek. We can't waste any more time, we need-"

"Scott, stop! Can you even - you nearly died! Twice!"

"But I didn't-"

"Because someone stopped you! Allison literally had to sew you back together because you felt so guilty about Derek being dead that you were going to let yourself die, too! Scott, I had to talk you out of setting yourself on fire, how can you not - how do you not see how messed up that is?!"

"Stiles, I'm sorry about last night, okay? I shouldn't have... I should've fought the wolfsbane, or..."

Stiles just stared back at him, shaking his head incredulously. Finally, in a much softer voice, he said, "Scott, I don't want you to be sorry that I had to save you. I just... I just wanna know that you don't actually believe what you said last night."

It was a simple request. It would take just two words. And yet...

Scott opened his mouth. Then he shook his head and closed it again, looking away with a piercing pain where his healed wound was just yesterday.

"You have to admit that a lot of what we've gone through wouldn't have happened if I hadn't..."

"Hadn't what?" He looked back up to see the reason for the quiver in Stiles' voice; tears shone in his wide eyes. "Hadn't survived being bitten by Peter? That's what you meant, wasn't it?"

He tilted his head but he didn't get a chance to deny or confirm. Stiles already knew. He looked like he might crumble into a million pieces.

"Scott," he said, his voice cracking as he moved closer. "I don't care what's happened to us. I don't care about the murderous werewolves or - or the hunters, or any of the crazy supernatural things that keep happening around us, alright? Because we've survived it, but what I wouldn't have survived was losing my best friend."

Scott bit his tongue, his eyes stinging. Part of him wanted to point out all the bad things - the numerous times he's put his life in danger, the people who haven't survived the craziness of their world, and everything else.

Then Stiles really did crumble. "Scott, I meant what I said last night. And I can't lose you. I can't - you and my dad, you're all... you're all I've got, and I can't - Scotty, I can't lose you as well. I need you. And I know how selfish that is, but it's true. So, if you need a reason to - to believe that you should be alive, then there it is. Me, Scott. Make me your reason if you have to, or your mom, or even Allison, because I promise you that none of us would be better off if you weren't here."

"You'd be safe, at least."

He didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out.

"You don't know that," Stiles countered, then he shrugged. "And even if that was true - I don't care. Scott, I'd rather be in danger every day of my life from some supernatural threat than live without you."

He didn't know what to say to that. All he could do was surge forward and hug him. Stiles immediately wrapped his arms tight around him, as if he never intended to let go.

"I'm sorry," he repeated quietly into his shoulder.

"Just make me a promise, Scotty. Alright? Promise that you'll talk to me, so that, when you start blaming yourself for every bad thing that's ever happened, I can tell you what an idiot you are."

Scott chuckled and nodded. "I promise." Then, he softly added: "I mean it."

Stiles tightened his arms just a little more. Both of them savoured the feeling of the other against them. Solid. Real. Alive. Safe. For a moment, they were as physically intertwined as they were in every other way.

Scott knew they should look for Derek. They should come up with a plan to stop the darach. But he wasn't ready to let go of the first real feeling of comfort he'd felt in a while.