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omniscientwreck · 3 years ago

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Let me combine both of your favorite things! I would love a little thing about Caduceus (in his infinite wisdom and questionable intelligence) trying to give either Essek or Caleb relationship advice that may or may not be actually helpful. Those two wizards are probably too much in their own heads to see what's right in front of them and could use a little nudge. Just imagine both of them going to Caduceus for advice on how they're attracted to the other and Caduceus just sitting there trying to fight to urge to facepalm.

Hello! Thank you for combining my two favourite things into this fic that took way too long but I'm quite pleased with! I hope you enjoy!

In which Caduceus has three conversations with two wizards fighting against a force bigger than either of them.

----------

The first of these conversations Caduceus had was expected. Gardening alongside Essek, teaching him how to sow beauty where destruction had laid waste had been therapeutic for both of them. Caduceus had never given up on the war criminal. It’s difficult to feel no sympathy for someone whose story was written across their face in blank but pleasant stares and a mask of platitudes.

The state he’d been in when they met him at the outpost had filled Caduceus with determination. He’d been as close to a wreck as they’d ever seen him and now kneeling alongside him and looking over to see a small self-satisfied smile as he observed the work they’d done, it feels like they’ve done something right. This second chance had been well earned and he has faith that Essek will continue to earn it for the rest of his days.

This Essek is determined to right wrongs, and he’s started with the garden. He pays careful attention to the plants, always asking if he’s unsure about the compatibility of certain species, and making sure to put them exactly where they tell him. When they work past the point when the sun disappears behind emerald leaves he takes off the gloves Jester had made him and digs his hands into the ground. It seems to bring him peace, it’s good that he’s found any.

Most of the time when they work it’s silent, creases pressed into Essek’s forehead. He sweats through the layers that serve to keep him safe from the heat overhead and always has to be cajoled into taking breaks or drinking water. It reminds him a bit of Yasha.

On the third day, when he’d nearly gone faint Caduceus has to intervene, “You don’t need to hurt yourself to repent you know.”

Essek takes great care to swallow and not choke on the water he’d been sipping, bad timing. The mask comes up again, “I don’t know what you mean.” he states flatly. He knows that Caduceus is smarter than that and it shows.

“Hurting yourself doesn’t change anything. It’s the creation of beauty here that tips your scales, not the destruction of yourself.”

He nods slowly, indigo eyes downcast. “I suppose you’re correct. I have much to atone for Caduceus. There is much work to be done before I will deserve any of the kindness you foist upon me.”

“Hey now, I decide who deserves my kindness. We all do.”

Essek nods again, running a dirt stained hand through his silver hair. It leaves streaks of dirt, Caduceus says nothing.

“It’s difficult to be made aware of your stark moral failings, to learn what it means to truly care for someone again. It’s difficult to care more than you expect and to know what is enough, if anything is.”

His eyes flick behind Caduceus, where he can hear Caleb explaining something to Luc and he understands more than Essek probably wants him to. “You’ll find enough.” Essek looks at him, eyes full of a delicate hope, easily shattered, “He’ll tell you when it’s enough.”

His eyes widen just slightly and a deep blush spreads across his face alongside a smile so small it’s like he doesn’t want to let himself accept the barrage of feelings it holds back. “If.” His voice is small but the weight is heavy in the tone.

Caduceus reaches a hand to cover one of his, “When. Remember, I see things the rest of you don’t.”

Essek smiles wryly at that, voice full of mirth, “Of course Mr. Clay the ever observing.”

They go in for dinner and Essek speaks up a little more, he’s a little more alive. The change is small, but Caduceus notices.

----------

The second conversation is less expected, completely unexpected if he’s being honest. Caleb arrives at the doorstep of the grove one evening around 8 months after they’d last seen each other. “Hallo friend, I hope I am not intruding.”

His smile is easier now, though still restrained by sadness. “Not at all Mr. Caleb you are always welcome here. There should be left overs from dinner, fix yourself a plate.”

Caleb allows himself to be ushered in and fussed over. He tells a few stories of the trial but Caduceus tries to steer away from that particular vein of conversation. It’s raw and it doesn’t look like he’s fully healed. There’s still one catch somewhere that he needs to loose himself from before the smile will be easy and free, before he can walk away from his past and toward the future.

“I am going to Aeor next.”

Ah.

When Caduceus doesn’t say anything he continues, voice laced with trepidation, “I am going to ask Essek to join me.” he wants Caduceus to convince him of something.

“Well, two wizards is better than one.” He eyes Caleb knowingly and the wizard squirms a bit under his gaze.

“It is just, a little strange isn’t it? The directions we are led in.” He trails off again, maybe he’s hoping for wisdom. Caduceus decides he can probably dispense something.

“You’ve never seemed like someone who wanted much to be herded into decisions to me.”

“It’s been a journey.”

Caduceus clears his dish and sets down a teapot, “It’s a journey you’re still on. One that might not have a definite end. Is it worth it to deny yourself happiness because you’re worried about whether you deserve it?”

That caught him a little off guard, copper hair shook a bit as he’d clearly gone a little further than Caleb was expecting. He likes to talk in metaphors so that he can hide from truths later, or at least pretend everything can have multiple meanings. It’s time for Caduceus to stop letting him twist words around in that expansive brain of his until the original meaning is obscured by hypotheticals.

“I cannot tell you what’s right Caleb, but if you came here for a reasonable perspective listen to the one I’m giving you.” He pours the tea and offers honey, “You will never know if you don’t go and I know you better than you think. You don’t like loose ends, not as long as there’s something to learn.”

He nods, staring into tea, they’re so similar and so stubborn that Caduceus can feel the loving annoyance usually directed at his siblings creeping in. “Caleb, stop punishing yourself for something that wasn’t your fault in the first place.” Caleb nearly interrupts but Caduceus keeps barrelling through, “Self-flagellation won’t get you anywhere, you’ll just end up with regrets and what ifs. Go explore Aeor, forget everything else for a bit. Do that thing the two of you do where you’re finishing each other’s sentences and nobody knows why you’re bothering to speak out loud because it’s obvious you’re thinking the same things.”

Caleb’s smile is smaller now, but lighter. “Ja mein Freunde, I think you will. Thank you for tolerating questions I don’t know how to ask out loud.”

Caduceus smiles back, “I think this will be good. If you need anything while you’re there don’t hesitate to reach out. Stock up on healing, you’ll need it.”

Caleb laughs at that and spends the night, before heading to Zadash the next morning, undoubtedly to clear out Pumat’s stock of healing potions.

----------

The third time this conversation is had it’s his fault. He doesn’t mean to start it, but honestly the situation is getting ridiculous and the sibling feelings Caduceus has to both the wizards are firmly cemented.

They decide to get everyone together maybe a year after the last conversation. It’s his first time seeing any of them since then and as soon as they’re all in the same room it’s like no time has passed at all. Essek had come to get him while Caleb gathered the rest at Beau and Yasha’s home in Rexxentrum. Jester wraps him in a crushing and loving hug, Beau gives him a punch that’s soft for her but still stings, Yasha offers clippings of flowers immediately, and Fjord’s hug is warm. Veth’s family is here and she looks happier than he’s ever seen her. Caleb greets him with the warmth that’s always burned behind eyes that hold less and less sorrow every time he sees him. He hopes they’ll drop it all together one day.

When they pop back into existence from the way Caleb and Essek look at each other Caduceus expects something to happen. He doesn’t know what exactly but they hold each other’s eyes in a profound way. There’s gravity to them and everyone can feel it, he’s getting tired of watching them fight it.

It seems so simple even though he doesn’t feel that kind of pull, to see where this is going. It’s feels like the days before a big storm, when everyone knows what’s coming and it’s getting a little ridiculous that you’re still waiting for lightning to strike.

Everyone else drinks, they cook and eat and tell stories. Caleb and Essek sit apart but spend the entire time stealing glances across the table when they don’t think the other is looking. Nearly always they catch each other.

Yasha plays on the bone harp, she’s gotten very good and Jester swings Veth around into a dance. Kingsley, three sheets to the wind, grabs Beau and whips her into a reluctant dance and her initial protests eventually bubble into laughter. Caleb sits beside Caduceus and Jester has switched to twirling a flustered Essek across the floor of the livingroom. It often turns to dancing with these people and he loves that they love it so much.

“As I recall you’re an excellent dancer Mr. Caleb, go cut in.”

He shakes his head, “Ah- I couldn’t. Yasha is playing and I don’t think you’re much of a dancer.” He looks over with a quirk of a brow.

“I’m sure Jester won’t mind a break.”

He coughs at that, “I ah-”

Caduceus shakes his head, “No, talking is done, this is getting ridiculous.” He puts a hand square on his back and guides Caleb to stand, “You two will weave circles of metaphor around each other until one of you drops. Go Caleb, follow gravity.”

He seems to understand, seems to accept Cadcueus’ words and as soon as he stands to full height, Essek is watching over Jester’s shoulder. She, thankfully, understands the same way Caduceus does and even sends a wink as she loudly proclaims, “Oh my gosh Essek I’m so tired, I think Caleb needs someone to dance with, go to him.” She extends her arm, releasing him, and his levitation doesn’t allow him to stumble at the abrupt change in momentum.

Essek and Caleb meet and Essek steps to the ground gracefully as Caleb holds his hand out and pulls him in.

Nobody says anything for fear of spooking the delicate peace that settles over both of them as they gently turn, but Yasha slows the music she’s playing a bit and a quiet celebration is shared in the eyes of the rest of the Nein.

Caduceus breathes a sigh of relief and Jester sits herself beside him, bringing an overly sweet juice she’d found on her travels for him to try. She tells him stories into the night, and the wizards never let each other’s hands go.

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #caduceus clay #critical role #the mighty nein #cr fanfic #critical role fanfiction #tm9 #my writing #omni writes #my fic #a little worried this is ooc for Cad but also I think he's just treating them like he'd treat his siblings #eventually you just gotta push people in the direction they're heading

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iatethepomegranate · 3 years ago

Text

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 15

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, and goes on cute dates with Essek while learning how to be a person. There's also the little matter of taking care of the other Volstrucker survivors, and the children coming up after him.

Content warnings: references to sex as a coping mechanism, Caleb's backstory, reference to institutionalisation

Chapter summary: Caleb and Essek have a nighttime beach date.

Chapter notes: This chapter gets a bit spicy but there is no actual smut because I don't feel like it. Despite the content warnings, it's a pretty chill chapter.

***

Chapter 15: The blue and green below is a masterpiece, but you are beautiful like I’ve never seen

Caleb and Essek, breathless from kissing, stripped naked and stored their clothes in Essek’s pocket plane. Then they waded into the moonlit water, hand-in-hand, until the sand threatened to dip away from them and Essek could barely keep his head above water. Caleb slid his arms around Essek’s waist, encouraging him to float with his support.

“I’ve never had time to do this,” Essek admitted quietly. “The longest I’ve spent here was… you know.” His face pinched, as it often did when he referenced his treason, and the fact he had betrayed his friends long before he had ever met them. “Not exactly, ah, conducive to recreation.”

“We’re here now,” Caleb said firmly; he would not let Essek spiral into self-loathing again. “And you have changed much since that time. As have I.”

Essek relaxed in his grip, just a fraction. “You’re right. Thank you. I’m… trying.”

“I am proud of you.” Caleb had heard this a lot of late, and passed that gift to Essek. He needed it as much as Caleb did. “Shall we try something?”

“I suppose.” Essek sounded nervous.

“Trust me.”

“I do.”

Caleb stepped back and kicked off the sandbank, propelling himself into deeper water. “Come here.” Essek followed him, a little clumsily. But the old muscle memory was there behind the rust; Essek had probably learned how to swim as a boy, and then rarely used the skill. “Float on your back.”

Essek raised an eyebrow; Caleb could only see it because of the stark contrast of white on dark purple. “All right.” This was also clumsy and awkward, and it took him a few tries. But Essek soon found his balance floating on his back on the surface of the water. Caleb took his hand, and floated onto his back beside him.

The water gently tugged them around, and Caleb was careful not to flinch and lose his equilibrium. He and Essek floated together in the deep, cool expanse of the sea. At this time of night, the water and the sky were almost indistinguishable from each other. Mirrors.

Caleb had a complicated history with mirrors; sometimes he would catch a feature in his reflection that reminded him of his mother or his father, and resisted the temptation to smash the glass. The shocks were less frequent these days, and the violent urges rarely emerged now. He and Essek, however, had been mirrors to each other for a long time. And that was a reflection that he could handle. It allowed him to reach out and help this man he cared about in a way that would’ve frightened him even a few months ago.

They couldn’t talk comfortably like this, but that was okay. Often the two of them didn’t need words. Right now, Caleb just wanted to float with him, tethered together by a single hand and the whims of the sea. He was dimly aware that Essek relaxed by inches, floating more easily as he became used to the sensation. Essek was a quick study, and familiar with how to float in the air. Water probably wasn’t that different, really, except a spell was unnecessary.

Caleb counted stars, traced constellations, followed the slow rolling of wispy clouds a shade lighter than the nighttime abyss. He could sense Essek do the same. They let the seconds and minutes tick by in serene quiet, a low rumble of the water over their ears.

Peace washed over them like the sea.

Caleb counted the passing of minutes. Once ten of them had passed, and he felt almost boneless with calm, he slowly let his legs dip back into the water, gently tugging Essek’s hand to request he do the same. They had floated further out by now, and Essek tensed as he took in the distance.

“It’s all right,” Caleb reassured him. “You and I are skilled enough that we will not drown.”

He kicked off, keeping an eye on Essek behind him. Essek paddled along in his wake, and soon they reached a point where Caleb could stand. Not Essek, though. But Caleb had an idea. He pulled Essek closer, dipping underwater for a second to get his hands under Essek’s buttocks. He lifted Essek so they were eye-to-eye, and Essek wrapped his legs around Caleb’s waist. The water took most of Essek’s weight.

“Is this all right?”

“I could get used to it,” Essek said, already more relaxed. He wound his arms around Caleb’s neck. “There are clear advantages to our position.” And he kissed Caleb, who had to step backwards before he could lose his balance and pitch them both into the ocean. That would have killed the mood.

And Essek was very much in the mood. As was Caleb. Waiting for privacy these last few hours had been torture of the sweetest kind. Now they were alone in the vast expanse of sea, wearing nothing but saltwater and moonlight. And Essek was reliant on Caleb to keep his head above water. Essek seemed to quite like that, as he climbed all over Caleb while they kissed each other breathless once again.

Essek pulled back to run his tongue along the muscles of Caleb’s neck, catching droplets of seawater. “Tower?” he breathed against Caleb’s wet skin, making him shiver with cold and arousal.

“Ja. Let’s go.”

***

The time it had taken them to swim to shore and find a good spot to cast the tower had stretched like well-kneaded dough. It hadn’t helped that Essek had kept kissing his neck while Caleb tried to cast, making it take a little longer than usual. But then they were in.

They wound up on the third floor in the library, in front of the fireplace. The extra few floors to a bed had been far too distant, even for Essek, who had a whole thing about self-restraint. Not tonight, it would seem. This was not the first time they’d had sex in this spot, so Caleb was in the habit of ensuring a soft rug was in place, and other necessary supplies were stashed behind a nearby bookshelf, to be revealed upon speaking the password: Kätzchen. No other member of the Nein had a reason to use the word, and it was, on the surface, innocent enough. Even if the context of its use with Essek was most assuredly not.

Essek was in rare form on this night, shoving Caleb onto his back on the rug. “Let me spoil you tonight.” His voice had dropped in pitch, similar to how he used to speak when he had first met the Nein. Except this time it was entirely due to arousal instead of a façade.

“Sounds good to me,” Caleb replied, already breathless.

Later, Caleb lay bonelessly by the fire, eyes shut to enjoy the calm of the afterglow. Letting his heart and breath slow at their own pace. Essek’s fingers weaving patterns through the hair on Caleb’s chest. Quiet, for a time. Just soft crackles of flame and their breaths.

A hitch of Essek’s breath. Caleb opened his eyes, slowly turning his head to find Essek propped up on one elbow, drinking him in with his eyes, like a parched man throwing back a glass of cool water.

“Hallo.”

Essek smiled. “Hello.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. I…” He chuckled, sheepish. “I am enjoying the view.”

“Oh?”

“You look very… soft.”

“I am now, ja.”

Essek wrinkled his nose. “Shut up. I am trying to be romantic.”

“Then be romantic,” Caleb replied, because he rarely had the chance to stir Essek up like this.

Essek reached out to the far side of Caleb’s face, tracing his cheek. And then he tucked Caleb’s hair behind his ear. “Your hair… it looks like copper in the firelight. It’s… cute. And you look happy.”

“I am happy.” There were few things that made Caleb happier than a quiet night with Essek, who he loved very much. “Are you happy?”

“Very much so.” Essek leaned down, capturing his lips, draping himself over Caleb’s body in a much calmer mirror to their positions mere minutes ago. Under Caleb’s hands, Essek’s body was dewy with seawater and sweat. He traced the bumps of Essek’s spine with a finger and Essek shuddered above him.

Before they could get too wrapped up in this once again, Essek pulled back. They helped each other to their feet. And finally made it to Caleb’s bedroom. Their bedroom now. He had made some modifications now that they shared a room; the furniture was a blend of Zemnian and Kryn influences, and he had finally added a stained glass window, an amalgamation of their journeys together. Scenes from Rosohna such as Essek’s towers, the Xhorhouse, the Dungeon where Essek had crushed the Volstrucker who attacked Caleb; the Balleater where Essek had confessed to treason; various scenes from Eiselcross and Aeor including Essek’s chambers at the outpost, various archive rooms, the strange domes, the Immensus Gate, the T-Dock that Caleb had disintegrated. Caleb liked to tweak the glass a little every time they were here. He had already integrated the two beach trips, one in sunshine and one in moonlight.

Essek examined the changes to the glass for a few breaths, and then shoved Caleb against the nearest wall to kiss him again. “You.” Kiss. “Brilliant.” Kiss. “Brilliant.” Kiss. “Man.”

It was a rare treat to get Essek to push him around like this, so lost in passion that he stopped giving a fuck. Caleb was putty in his hands.

***

In a moment of downtime, when Caleb’s mind was clear enough for conversation, they picked up the thread of last night’s conversation.

“I’m not sure I would want to sleep with anyone else after tonight,” Caleb said, stretching his arms above his head while Essek lay his head on Caleb’s chest. “You are a hard act to follow, my friend.”

Essek’s eyeroll was so powerful that Caleb could sense it. “I appreciate the sentiment… friend.”

Caleb stroked Essek’s hair, smoothing it out after their exertions. “Forgive me. Force of habit. Would you like me to stop using that word for us?”

“No. We were friends before we were anything else.” Essek sighed. “I treasure everything I have with you, including our friendship. Apologies. You were saying?”

“I was saying I appreciate your offer from last night,” Caleb said, with a bit more clarity. “But I’m not sure I will take you up on it.”

“It’s an open offer,” Essek replied. “I know it’s not relevant at the moment, but I wanted to talk about it without the threat of my impending departure. When that time comes and I must be gone for months at a time, if sharing your bed with someone else makes you feel less lonely…”

“Essek, I understand why you are offering.” Caleb sat up, resting his back against the pillows. “I have a question.”

Essek sat cross-legged at his side. “Ask.”

“We both know this is largely for my benefit. Even if we say this offer goes both ways, for example, you are still far less likely to act on it than I am, purely based on our sexual interests as they are defined in language. I am more likely to find someone attractive than you are, and I am more likely to be comfortable having more than one partner.”

“That is all true,” Essek said warily. “What’s the question?”

“Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that we have been apart for months. And we miss each other terribly. For whatever reason, it is not practical to find a way to see each other even for one night. We are both, in theory, free to sleep with someone else to manage the sexual side of this. Let’s say I decide to do that. You do not. I find some measure of relief. You do not. That is not a fair arrangement. Are you sure this offer comes from a healthy place for you?”

Essek sighed deeply. “I have asked myself that question many times. And the fact is, this is a bigger issue for you than it is for me. You have far more feelings of this nature than I do.”

“Ja, I do. But having feelings and acting on them are two very different things. I have crushes on most of our friends, Essek. I am not about to sleep with all of them.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“No.” Caleb wasn’t resisting hard. If Essek started throwing out names, he would confirm or deny.

“Kingsley?”

“Ja,” Caleb conceded. “That’s an easy one. And very complicated given every inhabitant of his body has flirted with me on at least one occasion. And his late brother was… complicated.” Caleb wasn’t sure how to tell Essek that so much of how he had treated Essek when things had gone pear-shaped was because of Molly’s influence on him.

“Interesting. Who else?”

“Are we really going to sit here on this night of merciful privacy to gossip about my crushes?”

“I rarely have crushes myself,” Essek replied. “Present company excepted. It’s fascinating to me. And, of course, I like to know things about you. And, ah, the next time I make a joke, I would prefer not to make you uncomfortable, even by accident.”

“Well… perhaps you shouldn’t joke about Fjord and Jester in that way again.” Caleb cleared his throat. “Especially Jester.” The closest he’d come to admitting that about Jester had been during a watch with Yasha, a long time ago. And he’d handled it very poorly.

But Essek just chuckled. “I see. Your reaction to my rather poor joke makes sense now. And what of Veth?”

“Complicated.” Caleb had been possessive with Veth some time ago, before he had almost let a horrible cocktail of jealousy and self-loathing drag them apart in a way neither of them had truly wanted. “I love her. As I do the others, ja, but… for a long time all we had was each other. Just two pieces of shit watching each other’s backs because no one else would. Scamming people out of a few coins so we could eat, or find shelter. Sleeping together by the roadside. There is an… intimacy to that. And I have been jealous of Yeza in the past, but that was my problem, not theirs. We’re in a good place now. She will always be dear to me. I’m not sure I will ever truly understand my feelings. At a certain point it no longer matters. I love her, whatever that means. My feelings for you have far more clarity.”

“Good.” Essek leaned in, kissing under Caleb’s jawline. “I am a little possessive of you, myself.”

“Then why offer this?”

“I am possessive, not insecure.” Essek paused, for a split-second, before planting a kiss on Caleb’s neck. “Not anymore. You are a far more sexual person than I, and I am aware you are polyamorous. It is not a hard thing to offer you. I lose nothing from this arrangement.”

Something about that statement bothered Caleb a little, but he didn’t fault Essek for it. “Essek, you know I hadn’t had sex for pleasure in nearly two decades, right? You were the first in seventeen years. I am not about to die if I don’t stick my dick in someone for a few weeks. Or have someone’s dick stuck in me. Either way. Going without isn’t going to kill me.”

“Caleb, that’s not…” Essek sighed. “Look, if this arrangement makes you uncomfortable, you do not need to act on it.”

“I know. I just wanted you to know that, as much as I appreciate your understanding of my sexuality, this is not something I need. I have gone without before, and I would rather abstain than seek comfort in a way that I have found destructive in the past.”

“Astrid and Eadwulf?”

“Ja. There was love, but there was also codependency and using sex as a coping mechanism on the bad days. And then I murdered my parents, had a breakdown, and spent eleven years in a sanatorium while they remained under Trent’s thumb. Not the most auspicious end to a relationship.” He let the bitterness of it all come out in his voice, because he knew Essek would never judge him for that. “For us, it was survival. That’s how it began. Locked in a freezing cold tower that forced us to huddle together for warmth just to stay alive. We never had a chance to be anything else. I don’t want that to happen again.” Goosebumps had spread across his skin with the sensation of phantom cold.

Essek pulled the bedcovers over the both, curling up around Caleb, and the chill was not able to take root. “Thank you for telling me. I don’t… I don’t want you to fall into old patterns. You are getting better every day, and I want that to continue. If the offer of an open relationship bothers you, forget about it. I just… I don’t want to hurt you when I leave. Even if we both know I will always come back as long as there is still breath in my body.”

Caleb lifted his chin and kissed his mouth. “Danke. I appreciate the offer nonetheless. Maybe one day I will be in a good enough place to act on it. But not right now.”

“We have years ahead of us yet, Caleb Widogast.” Essek traded in another kiss. “Speaking of time, the night is still young. How are you feeling?”

***

Later, much later, when Essek had wrung from Caleb every last orgasm he could physically produce in one night, they cuddled in bed. Slowly, Caleb drifted asleep. Safe and warm and loved. This was becoming the norm., and he was learning that he deserved it

Waking with Essek was one of Caleb’s favourite things in the world. After nights like the one they’d just had, Essek preferred to sleep instead of trance, so he would not have to extract himself from Caleb’s grip too soon. That meant they woke at roughly the same time. Finding wakefulness by inches, slowly aware of little aches, and warmth, and points of contact, and Essek’s head on his chest as the man snored softly.

For Caleb, it was a rare treat to wake up first. To observe Essek at rest, especially when he chose to sleep. The tension gone from his muscles, his breathing slow and deep. Curled up like a cat, having claimed one of Caleb’s arms, and his chest for a pillow. Caleb’s arm was dead, but the discomfort was worth it. Essek would wake soon enough; Caleb would never rush this if he could help it.

Slowly, Essek began to stir. A flicker of eyelashes against Caleb’s skin, the tiniest shift of Essek’s cheek against his chest, a flexing of fingers. Sleep left Essek uncharacteristically groggy at first; he typically needed longer than Caleb did to find full wakefulness on the rare occasion he slept.

So when Essek grumbled and smushed his face against Caleb’s neck, Caleb gave him a little squeeze and let him wake in his own time. Even if Caleb needed a piss.

Essek snuggled closer for a few moments, before he rolled onto his back with a put-upon sigh. Caleb kissed his forehead and slid out of bed to take care of business while Essek came to terms with being awake. He also ran a bath while out of sight, because he was sore everywhere and imagined Essek felt similar. Essek was functionally much younger, and more limber, but they also didn’t have nights like that very often. Caleb was sore in places he had forgotten had muscles.

By the time he returned to the bedroom, Essek had grudgingly reached a sitting position with the blanket draped over his thighs, toes barely touching the floor as if expecting it to be cold. The floors were never cold in the tower, because cold floors were terrible.

“Guten morgen,” Caleb said, leaning against the doorframe.

Essek barely turned his head, but did rake his eyes over Caleb’s still-naked body. “The morning could be better.”

“Please eat something first.” Caleb crossed to a fruit bowl he had the cats keep stocked on a small round table in front of his fireplace, grabbing a handful of grapes. He plucked them from the stem, one-by-one, and slid them into his mouth, fully aware Essek was watching him with a rare hunger. “I am running a bath. Care to join me?” He held out the remaining grapes to Essek, who floated over, ducked his head, and pulled a grape from the stem with his teeth.

He slowly pushed the grape into his mouth, crushed it between his teeth, and swallowed it. “I can make time. Bring the grapes.”

They spent far longer in the bath than necessary, and definitely missed breakfast with the Nein. Essek was straddling Caleb’s lap, their hands between each other’s legs. And Essek had absolutely been on the verge of an orgasm.

Then, he froze. Braced both his hands on the edges of the tub, staring up at the ceiling with utter mortification. Before Caleb could ask (though he was sure he knew), Essek spoke:

“Yes, Jester.” He was audibly, and visibly, trying to keep the breathlessness out of his voice, and not doing a great job. “Caleb and I are fine. We will join you later. Please…” His voice became strained, “...do not message us for a while.”

Caleb let out a low whistle. “Bad move, Essek.”

“Shut up,” Essek groaned, shoving his face against Caleb’s shoulder. “Fuck.”

Caleb stroked his back. “It’s all right. She’ll only tease us a little. I can talk to her if she takes it too far.”

Essek let out a long sigh. “I will never recover from this. A traitor’s death would have caused far less suffering than this.”

“Essek? Shut up.” Caleb slid his hand beneath the water once again. “We have better things to do, remember?”

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role #cr2 #fanfiction #my fics #the pomegranate's professor widogast fic

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mapleandgingeroatmeal · 4 years ago

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CR2E114- An Open Window

Ok I know I say this like, every four or five episodes, but this one's a new favorite, folks. The Intrigue! The Romance! The adorable bonding! The awkward nervous coming out! The real Irish Accent! The disability rep! 114's got it all.

Matt's really out here thinking "how can I stick it to ableists as hard as humanly possible", and his solution was to put a wheel-chaired npc in the fucking antarctic and make him the most gruff competent badass possible because this is a magic world and a chair can be perfectly all-terain and disabled people aren't always delicate fuck you. A legend.

I also just like Dagen in general? His disability is touched on just the perfect amount without at all defining his character, and I know from little mentions that he's gonna be a frequently occuring npc for a while into the future, and I am very excited to get to know him better, because I think he's gonna have some great stories and cast interactions.

We got CaducACE Clay up in here hell yeah boi!!!! I was pumped for this moment. What was interesting to me was how actually obviously nervous he was? It was brushed off as if he was confident in an instant, because that's just how Deuces "i have no negative emotions" Clay operates, but I for sure think that this is something he's actually had to struggle and come to terms and think about. Not bc it's bad obvs, just because thats what Being Queer is like. You can see in the way he sort of waffles around the issue with Veth. It's hard for him to actually get the words out and tell her something so deeply personal, but he does! I am so proud of my boy!

Jester makes friends everywhere she goes in such a delightful way. I think so much of her appeal comes from the fact that she just enters every interaction on complete good faith. She really likes most people, and assumes people will like her back!

God Beau and Caleb. I think I had that exact sequence of interactions with my sister a few months ago. I've noticed that very recently Caleb has been such a happier, more playful person, and I have to wonder what exactly triggered the change. I feel like it's actually the Rumblecusp conversations everyone had about their commitment to this group as a family who wasn't going to leave each other? Hearing that in words from everyone seems to have broken down that last paranoia barrier in his mind, the voice that was still telling him how this joy and these people would leave him soon. He trusts and loves the Nien unreservedly now, and it's so beautiful to watch.

Oh my god that scry on Lucien gave me such chills. THAT VOICE THO! It was instantly so magnetic and charming, I love an Irish accent. And the way he just had a friendly chat with the scry and the ominus shit he said?? Immediately drew me in. This guy is totally gonna be a favorite villian of mine, I can already tell.

So I actually didn't realize that the gang already knew Molly was back when he killed Vess? My original thoughts for how this arc went down was that they went to Eisselcross like everything was normal, waited for Vess, went to check on her, and then the first time they ever see Lucien is him laughing at them from a window-sill after killing Vess. I do like the way it happened, but I'm kinda sad also bc can you imagine the sheer drama of the surprise it would've been to see Molly alive for the first time like that?

I can't believe they've gotten away with stashing the body. I wonder how long they can keep this Charade up with Dagen? Will he even care who died if he's getting paid? Are they gonna drag him along into the tomb takers? So many questions.

#critical role #cr catch-up #cr2e114

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spoiler1001 · 4 years ago

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"When we met back up, before everything, did you want to remember us?" Caleb asked. The room was quiet with Molly in the tub. Molly sat up, alert.

"Why do you ask?" His arms wrapped around himself. The steam from the water should have made his skin blushed but he looked at ease and perfectly comfortable.

"I just want everything to be clear between us. This conversation doesn't leave the room." Caleb held Frumpkin to his chest.

"I...never got the choice. When I woke up, I panicked. Cree took the panic away. When I met you, you fascinated me. I wanted to know everything." Molly ran his fingers through his hair. It was longer than Caleb had ever seen but it framed his face nicely.

"Are you happy that you know everything?" Caleb asked.

"I know a lot." Molly stood up, drying off. "I know about Caduceus' family, the ruby of the sea, the attempt of Fjord's life, your new lease on life, I know a lot."

"And we know almost nothing about you." Caleb looked over at him. Molly returned the look.

"Would you like to know more?" Molly braided up his hair.

"I don't think I do. Your life with us was founded on a complete disregard for your story. I don't think I need it." Caleb smiled. "I would rather have you than your story."

"Oh. You told me that you believe in second chances. Which one am I on now?"

"You never left our good graces."

Molly froze at that. "So…"

"It's still your second start." Caleb placed a kiss on Molly's cheek. "You're still our Mollymauk."

"Caleb… you're so…" Molly lost the word and just nuzzled him.

"I try to be better, happier." Caleb nodded. "Beau got a replica of the tattoo on your back." Caleb rested his hand over the eye and the pyramid. "I couldn't get a tattoo but it suited her."

Molly purred and leaned into the touch. "I wouldn't force you to get what you don't want, but you didn't need to get a tattoo to honor me. You didn't need to put that stained glass up. You made yourself better; that's all I would have wanted."

Caleb let his eyes look below the tattooed shoulders. There was a red mark around his stomach dancing around his body like a lightning bolt. It crossed the scar on his chest from when he died the second time. Caleb took a shaky breath.

"Don't think about it," Molly hummed. "I'm right here."

Caleb kissed him. Molly hummed and let the spade of his tail run along Caleb's jawline. Caleb smiled and rested his head in the crook of Molly's neck. "It's comforting to have you back."

"It's rejuvenating to be back." Molly laughed and held Caleb.

----------------------------------------

Fjord noticed that two of the members were not at the lunch meal. No one else seemed to care. Fjord didn't want to see this end in heartbreak. He stood up and excused himself, not wanting to out them, but wanting to make sure they were ok. He willed himself up to Caleb's bedroom. He knocked on the door, loud enough for the occupants in the room to hear. There was a shuffle and muffled voices but a couple of minutes later Caleb stuck his head and shoulder out of the door.

"Am I interrupting something?" Fjord asked.

Caleb turned pink. "Mollymauk and I were discussing things."

"Oh and is he staying with us?" Fjord raised an eyebrow.

"He is staying." Caleb nodded. "With the group."

"Caleb, I know he's in there. Just be careful, ok?" Fjord backed away.

"I- he- We're happy." Caleb nodded, slipping back into the room.

Fjord went back to eat with the others, the tomb takers, and Essek before the latter two left.

-----------------------------------------

Caleb hesitated at the door before turning around to see Molly stretched out on the bed, Frumpkin sleeping on his chest. Caleb smiled at the sight. "Molly, we have to get to lunch."

"Right I have to wish my old friends well. It's time we went our separate ways." Molly stood up, handing the now grumpy cat to Caleb. He went to get dressed as Caleb set down the cat, petting his head. Caleb got dressed alongside Molly. Caleb smiled. He was actually happy.

"What thoughts are going through that mind of yours?" Molly asked.

"I'm just having the realization that you're back keep hitting me in waves." Caleb felt tears build in his eyes.

"I'm going to stay," Molly promised, "no bullshit."

"I miss your bullshit."

"There's time for that later." Molly grinned. "Now let's go see the others."

-------------------------------------

Caleb smiled at the group's goodbye, finally accepting that his family is back together. The meal was comforting and the group smiled.

*Bren, it is time for one more family reunion. We have much to discuss.* Eodwulf. Shit. Caleb squeezed his ale stein until it shattered, causing blood to pool.

The group flinched and Veth started to pluck out the glass from his hand. Molly jumped and sat next to Caleb.

"Ikithon wants to see us again."

Fjord cursed.

--------------------------------------

Caleb explained his teacher to Molly. He hissed in anger. They were sitting back in Caleb's room, sitting up, with Caleb curling into his chest.

"And you're going to talk to him?"

"I don't have a choice. He or others can have me killed." Caleb looked off to the side. "He could have looped me back under his control."

"Caleb, he's a monster. You sound like you're blaming yourself for what he did." Molly whispered, holding onto him, even with the tail wrapped Caleb's leg.

"After you died, I wanted to… I wanted to go home, and at the time that meant going back to him." Caleb rasped.

"I'm sorry." Molly could just pull him closer to protect him so he did. "I'm here now."

"I missed you." Caleb sighed. "But we should see him."

"If he hurts you, I'll kill him." Molly felt his voice lower, slipping into Nonagon mode.

"I believe that."

#critical role #mollymauk tealeaf #caleb widogast #widomauk #lucien critical role #molly acknowledge the fact that clothes are required for polite socity #but private company is a different matter

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potatoesandsunshine · 3 years ago

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Campaign 2 Wrap Up: Anna Potatoesandsunshine Edition

Seemed like it would be fun to go through all the fan content I made for this campaign and try to find at least one thing I like about each thing! Kind of like looking back through a photo album. Under the cut because as it turns out, I wrote kind of a lot! (As in, 21 fics and 3 playlists kind of a lot!)

the sea, once it casts its spell (fjord speculation, what’s up with all this ocean stuff?? the fic)

The first thing I wrote for c2, wayyy in the beginning of things. We had no idea about Uk’otoa or Avantika or anyone at this point, it was pure ocean vibes for my favorite warlock. I really like how hard I leaned in on the “the ocean follows Fjord to land” idea.

so many things will fill my life (but only one will do) (post-campaign cali/jester fluff, written the night of the cali episode and so sweet it could rot your teeth)

This one is just good. I just did good with this one. I’m one of those people who hates their own work the night of posting and then when looking back at it goes, “Wow, this is great.” My favorite thing is the little gifts sent along with the letters! Cali was so fun and cute :)

when the dust does roam (Beau study up to Episode 42, 2k words of Beau poking at the idea of grief)

Best thing I did in this fic was have Caleb-through-Frumpkin bugging Beau about getting some sleep. They really... they’re siblings, your honor.

“ “Fuck off, I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Beau picks the bird up and sets him in the hood of her own cloak, out of reach of any weasels or startled monks in the morning. It’d suck to have to tell Caleb that his Frumpkin got eaten by Sprinkle.” C’mon guys, let’s do the sibling dance.

keep your swords out by your sides (the idea for this was, What If Fjord Has Nightmares From Uk’otoa Every Night and just doesn’t remember them)

Assigning everybody a word Uk’otoa had said for each nightmare in this was a challenge; I went into it knowing I wanted Caleb for Learn and Caduceus for Consume and had to guess the rest - for an angry eye snake Uk’otoa didn’t give us a ton of quotes.

“ He reaches over and runs a hand along the wall of the ship. From his touch, mushrooms begin sprouting.” Caduceus starting to decompose the Mistake in the middle of cooking was maybe the best moment in this story for me. Like, yeah. Yeah. Ok you funky little grave cleric.

strange but not a stranger (Caleb & Jester, in the immediate aftermath of Caleb’s charm in Episode 55)

the first of my “the Mighty Nein won’t have these conversations with each other in canon so they have to be had in fic” ideas that turned into a full-fledged story. I still had not discovered the em dash at this point, so the formatting of this makes me cringe a little bit, but this fic was really about The Emotions Of Being Out Of Control which turned out to be a very big Thing for the Mighty Nein.

now this story was when swords were humble (fake academia mixed with a Yasha study)

Honestly I’m still obsessed with the AU I made here where Yasha was just awakening every sword she used without knowing it?? Why did I use that here only?? That might come back. But the best part about this fic is the citations; me at my most in-joke and ridiculous.

through the teeth of this tempest (Written in the immediate aftermath of Episode 69, Yasha internally trying to break Obann’s control over the course of a month.)

The most “I wrote this to cope with canon” fic out of all of them. I was crying writing this, I was so upset that Yasha was gone ugh just remembering it. Still waiting for past me to discover the em dash, I genuinely don’t know why I didn’t know how to do it and I’ve thought about going back and editing all of these but I’m just Not Gonna Do All That. Anyway, I really like how Yasha catches lightning with her sword in this. We all really manifested that happening.

nothing more than what the losers settle for (Time travel, a series of oneshots where each member of the m9 sans Caduceus went back to a different point in the timeline and murdered Trent Ikithon)

This was my longest fic for c2, so I’m mostly just glad it got finished. This happened somewhere around the time Matt released that set of notes that mentioned Trent in more detail and I hated him so much I just had to write him dying six times. That speaks for itself.

Revolutionary!Fjord was also a good turn. He could pull it off, I think.

we’re gonna show ‘em a thing, or two, or three (Jester growing up fluff!)

I really like how I did Jester & Artagan in this, even though he barely appears. Someone better at songwriting than me please write the Dragon Song. Em dash makes an appearance here but the formatting is still wrong. I Am Once Again Asking For Proper Use Of The Em Dash.

the best things (happen while you’re dancing) (Mid-Episode 97 Divergence, Jester taking the reins at the party + hints of jester/beau/yasha bc i still love my girls so much)

Jester’s a little out of character in this, but not wildly so, and it was for the purposes of a Trapped By Societal Convention plot that I wanted her to mastermind so I think it was fine in the end. I’m still fascinated by the way she unbalanced Ludinus Da’leth in basically every interaction they had, and while their scene feels pretty cliche in this... the cliches are there for a reason. They’re so fun to write.

Em dash my beloved, there you are.

plus thirty-one varieties of sacramental wine (The Galavant crossover that truly nobody asked for, Beau + the monks)

Yeah, this one’s just fun. Not much more to say about it. Critical Role and Galavant are both fantasy, but they’re honestly pretty different in tone, and it was fun to write Beau dropped into a comedy musical.

oh we were sea-bound and aimless at best (Purely angst, a What If The Fjord & Orly Resurrections Didn’t Work fic)

Made myself care about Marius with this one, y’all. What more can I say? Beau having to go from first mate to captain was just... deliciously painful, because she would.

lost my shape trying to act casual (Beau & Yasha during travelercon, another mid-episode fic, this time of 104)

Yasha comforting Beau, who feels guilty for not feeling guilty... That Mighty Nein wasn’t lying, Mind Control and Autonomy can be themes. Another in the “the Mighty Nein won’t have these conversations with each other in canon so they have to be had in fic” tank. They really just... didn’t open up to each other for a long time, which made sense, but I wanted them to.

so long as you don’t mind a little dying (Beau & Caduceus, sometime in the peace talks arc)

Keeping with the Mighty Nein Please Talk To Each Other theme, I feel like I did a pretty good job with the late-night conversation energy of this fic. This was at a time when I was looking at Caduceus, can opener in hand, ready to make this firbolg open up about his feelings. Beau in this is prickly and confrontational but only in service of her friend’s well-being.

amber light, bending (Eiselcross speculation, Widofjord and all the messiness therein)

THE widofjord fic of my two widofjord fics. The blueprint. The better one. Finally I got the dynamic figured out. I maintain that the tower is an absolute expression of Caleb’s love for his friends. The way that neither of them have the braincell in this fic... yeah this one is just good.

and a blade between them (Widofjord happening... sometime.)

Okay so this is not as good as amber light and I will never be able to look at it and like it as much, but it was still fun to write. Anyway, the intimacy of shaving someone else. That is good. The tag “if they didn’t want me to think about the blood pact they shouldn’t have made the blood pact” is the most useful takeaway from this fic and is the driving force behind the Fjord/Jester/Caleb fic I’m working on now, so it wasn’t a waste of time or anything.

feel the ground beneath my feet turn into the sky (Post-Campaign Astrid-retires-to-Nicodranas, Astrid/Jester)

This is another one where I’m like “Yeah, this is just good.” Packed full of Wizard Fashion, Artagan making an appearance to rope Astrid into having a happier future, and the power of Going To The Seaside. Good for you, fic-Astrid.

spend your days biting your own neck (Role-reversal where Beau is the one mind-controlled this time and Yasha is the one chasing after her, set very early in the Tomb Takers arc)

So much of this fic is about not saying things aloud - Beau’s POV spends a good chunk on body language and Yasha writes multiple letters on paper and in her own head - but devotion bleeding through anyway because there’s nowhere else for it to go. The two of them go tumbling over a cliff together at the end but Yasha has wings, ugh. Yeah this was a good one.

and blow the dry leaves from the tree (Somewhere before the beauyasha date but otherwise timeline-nonspecific Nicodranas, Yasha & Yeza become friends)

Yasha & Yeza making pancakes together when neither of them know how to do so... is good. This fic is very much about grief sneaking in, but it’s even more about finding someone to share the moment with you. I think these two have more in common than we think.

oh, lend a mending hand (Caleb & Caduceus during Beau’s tombstone meditation in Episode 130)

I wrote this entire fic as an excuse for Caleb and Caduceus to hug and it does what it says on the tin. Got em.

it’s about the passing of measures (Beauyasha at the end of Episode 134, Aeor speculation)

This fic got extremely sidetracked because I rediscovered the marble machine during it and I do not apologize for that. I still really like the idea that Aeor as a whole, not just the Cognouza, is somewhat-alive. Too much magic and too much death for it to be anything else, in my mind. And I’m a sap for hurt/comfort.

the blumentrio playlist nobody asked for

If I think too much about how deep in each other these three people are I will cry. Made myself a soundtrack for those tears.

the caleb playlist nobody asked for

what if this angsty wizard had a playlist of songs that mostly just... make me want to dance? that question was answered here.

the caduceus playlist nobody asked for

songs about home, leaving home, dying, changing, becoming someone new, coming home and finding it’s changed... this to me is caduceus.

yeah... this campaign has been fun!! I probably won’t stop making things about it; I still write about Vox Machina, for crying out loud, but... it feels good to lay it all out like this. It’s been a long few years, and it’s wild to be seeing the end of it now.

#yes tumblr hates links yes here is an overlong post with 24 links #now THIS is why you make a blog. to look at your own work and say yeah several times.#critical role #i have some stuff i've been working on but i don't see any of it getting finished before the epilogue #looking back at everything is like... yeah! i had a lot of fun here!#anna's fic notes

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readbythestarlight · 5 years ago

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c2e98

I’m a few days behind but here we go

Ashley xD

"A CAPELLA?!"

I hope Marion didn’t get anxious when she realized the M9 left her at the party

E: "I know I can protect myself. I don’t think I can protect all of you. That is why I am worried." </3

C: "Make no mistake, we do not trust you."

E: "Good, that will help you survive."

C: "That doesn’t mean we don’t hope for you. It’s a tricky balance, Essek."

E: "Isn’t everything?"

[[MORE]]

I feel like given the histories of some of the others (and the way members of their group have casually committed murder on several occasions) Beau is being a liiiiiittle judgemental

I mean I get it

Ohhhh got some inner group conflict!

Cad doesn’t want to risk reigniting the war just for revenge, Nott and Beau and Caleb at least don’t agree. Could be interesting.

Mmm idk Veth, Yeza doesn’t really seem like the vengeance type

"You don’t want to punish the people who made you, you want to make sure no one makes [another] you. Remember that." Goddamn Caduceus.

lol the hat™️

"Everyone was so enthralled."

"....Yeah ;)"

I adore Marion

Fjord is such a sweetheart

This Fjord Jester banter is amazing I love them

Last week Fjord third wheeled on. BeauYahsa date, and now he gets to go on a dinner date with Jester. Nice.

I feel like their tone towards Essek has shifted a bit since last week. For Caleb to say now that his redemption seems unlikely? That was NOT the vibe I was getting before.

"Use the man" see and I don’t quite like that either?

Also it’s weird that Nott went from "welcome to the mighty nein" to "he’s a bad person who I don’t trust and who can’t be forgiven" (not her exact words but the vibe I’m getting)

Maybe I’m just too fond of Essek

And like I’m 100% here for a long journey to redemption where he has to take steps and do so much

But I’m not down for this idea of "I don’t think he can even do it"

And I appreciate that Caduceus and somewhat Caleb and somewhat Jester and somewhat Fjord are in support of his having a chance

But Veth and Beau are being a liiiiittle harsh considering their own track records for moral choices, considering Nott was willing to consider continuing the war and, again, they’ve frequently killed people with no reason

B: "you have a great sense of branding, Caleb."

C: "do I really? I am not using my actual name."

New tarot cards:

The jewel and the thief NICE

the spark and the blaze

Death and dawn

Damn Laura those are amazing

Cad talking to every animal ever is amazing

A ~mystery case for 500gp

I love this shopkeeper

Her: "it helps me maintain my gardens"

Cad: O_O

Of course THAT’S what he wants

Oh no he’s so bad with money

CAD

THAT’S 200gp FOR A PLANT NECKLACE

He DYES his hair?? I THOUGHT HIS HAIR WAS NATURALLY PINK

Omg Cad

You can really tell he’s a prankster at heart these days

WOAH this fan is COOL

Beau’s AtlA vibes keep getting stronger and stronger

A box oh boy

Fjord, Mr. Curious, is never NOT going to give you permission to open a thing

Omg Jester talking about her feelings about the Traveler FINALLY

Girl craft time is now feeling time

Fjord as acting captain is the best

It’s nice of Caleb to go and compliment everyone and also to make sure that Fjord knows they notice the changes he’s made too

Which I think Fjord needs to hear

Like he’s so background now, just trying to take care of them

And I love when they decide to make sure he knows they notice how he’s changed and how much happier he is and how good he is overall

Oh dang we getting some good Fjord feels now

Those good Caleb and Fjord feels

I’ve missed their talks so much

I love my half orc son

Ouch now some Caleb feels

MY! BOYS! MY FEELS!

godDAMN I have missed when they talk.

Fjord and Caleb are always going to be such a special pair to me and that’s never gonna change

Fjord pouring his tea off the side is my favorite xD

"Saffron and mushrooms" ew

Also the way Fjord wants to please them all over the little things (the hat, the tea) is so endearing

Gonna be real though being on the ocean again for the first time properly since Fjord changed allegences makes me nervous. U’kotoa is def gonna somehow become involved.

Oooo storm a’comin’!

I’m so far behind but here we go finally catching up

Okay well I’m not worried about Ashley/Yasha leaving which means I can enjoy this visit from the Storm Lord

Also holy shit Matt the lightning??

“Prove”?

OUCH baby girl!!

FEATHERS

YOU GO BABY GIRL!!

“You are worthy, both of my guidance and of your own acceptance. This path before you is long, and I won’t let you stray.”

MY EMOTIONS

Storm Lord: “love your friends! Love yourself!”

Oh fuck Fjord’s turn

No FUCK the falchion is back

WHAT

FJORD

BABY

WHO

WHO IS IT

fuck

Oh fuck someone else has the falchion

AVANTIKA??

OH MY GOD

ITS GONNA BE HER ISNT IT??

What is it???????

HE’S ALL BY HIMSELF

I KNEW something was gonna happen to Fjord with them back on the ocean

Fuck fuck fuck

Oh thank god Orli

Fuckity fuck fuck

Oh fuuuuuck someone get to Fjord

Be safe Orli!!

ORLI

I’m concerned about the cleric spell usage...

Fuck fuck fuck FJORD fuck

FUDUDJDKDLCK

HE’S DOWN

They’re not going to stop until they get what they want from Fjord are they...

But Matt if he hadn’t moved past Yasha he wouldn’t have been grappled in the first place

Oh Fjord...

Fuck

Oh thank god

I mean I’ve seen spoilery art I know what’s coming but still somehow I’m tense

Cad and his beetles are KILLING it

I don’t really know how this works out but if he’s perma-dead I may have to take a break

Idk I know it’s just fiction but I can’t handle this

MATTHEW

YOU CANT KILL ORLI TOO

FUCK YOU

I’m gonna cry about Fjord and Orli both

This isn’t fair or funny

Taliesin is SHAKING

I just almost had a heart attack thinking they would take Fjord

Thank god for counterspell

Fuck Ashley you badass!!

Oh Fjord tho...

And Orli...

God okay so I was under the impression that Fjord was 100% dead and the clerics had no spells left, but nobody seems that worried so I feel much better.

If they can’t bring Fjord AND Orli back tho I will cry

On to episode 99...

#critical role #cr spoilers #emi watches critical role

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ivadeshin · 6 years ago

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Careful Steps (Essik/Caleb) (2/n)

(previous chapter here. Or, catch up over on ao3.)

“Scribe Indril.”

She looks up from a sheaf of papers, straightening as soon as she recognizes him. “Shadowhand. I trust you’re having a good morning.”

“I am, and wish you the same.” Essik pulls his report from his cloak, laying it respectfully on the side of her desk. “I have no doubt that the Empress is using your capabilities to their fullest, and that your schedule is quite full, but I still find myself requesting your specific review upon these documents.”

The reports of his co-mingling with defectors, he does not say. She does not say it either. Rather, she picks the report up by the corner, scanning the top for a few key words before nodding and filing it away in one of her many complex wooden slat organizers. “I will be happy to intake all of your reports for the foreseeable future, both of your interactions with the group and otherwise.”

Otherwise. “Thank you.” Essik bows very slightly at the waist, as much as one of his stature could to a Scribe, and takes a breath. “I knew you would understand the issue of discretion applicable here.”

Scribe Indril takes a careful moment to compose her words, giving Essik an uncharacteristically knowing look. “As long as the information exchanges are made explicitly clear on the documentation, I see no issues moving forward.”

Knowing the right people is everything. “I am in your debt.”

“The Kryn silhouette suits you,” Essik says as they enter the restaurant, indicating Caleb’s coat and noting a curious red tinge to the human’s ears. Caleb’s exotic pink-white skin is both extremely telling and extremely perplexing - such a flush may be indicative of pleasure, or perturbation at an inappropriate comment. Caleb’s expression offers no help at this moment.

“They are nothing special,” Caleb deflects, lifting his chin - this seems to be a common gesture for indication, however informal - toward Essik’s cloak. “I, we, you know. Dressing in our Emipre-styled clothes from back home did not seem... prudent.”

“A wise observation.” Essik sheds his outerwear and hands it off to one of the staff. “If you are interested in speaking with a tailor, I have one not far from the Marble Tomes Conservatory that has been in high regard for several generations now.”

Caleb smiles through what is definitely an embarrassed grimace. “I’ll get something nicer before the next time we go out somewhere,” he promises, and Essik internally berates himself for making this man feel self-conscious.

The first two courses go splendidly. The service is exquisite, although Essik notes that this is the first time in the last fourteen years that the owner has not come personally to visit his table.

In the delicately arranged candle light, the human’s exotic hair color is displayed at its best, capturing the rich golds and coppers and reflecting them with every movement of his head. Even the light stubble on his jawline catches the light. His eyes are, fascinatingly, the color of aquamarine stones.

“I don’t mean to press,” Caleb says. He sounds more stilted than he has the rest of the night. (Essik has been quite pleased with how much the human had seemed to relax up until now.) “And, I certainly don’t want to sound unappreciative of this good food or drink-”

“Please,” Essik says, lifting an open hand in invitation. If Caleb actually asks for something specific, that means that Essik will have an opportunity to provide him with it, and please him in some way.

“Only, my spellbook is in my coat in the cloak room down there, and I don’t know if you brought yours, or when we were meant to study tonight.”

Caleb is yet again focused on work. Essik suppresses a flash of disappointment. “Rather than copying new work, I thought it prudent that we practice tonight instead.” He collects some marinated pheasant on his fork, dipping it lightly in one of the sauce bowls. (Caleb has not repeated his error from the first night.) “I have had the front room cleared out so that we may have enough space to work.”

“The front room. Of your house.” Caleb sounds strange. Essik is unable to detect whether it is anticipation or just hesitance.

“I apologize that I do not have a larger space for us. A human using dunamancy, if seen by someone uninformed, could cause quite a panic.”

Caleb pauses, but then he inclines his head. “I’m very grateful that you’ve opened your home to me.”

“Please think nothing of it.” Essik lifts his chin just an inch, brushing a long strand of white hair away from his cheek. “You are most welcome in my home.”

Nothing comes of the evening practice.

Shadowhand Essik’s reports faithfully recount all relevant context. Caleb does not discuss much of his personal history with the Empire, nor anything of strategic value - Essik does not ask - but the human does recount several non-strategic details, such as the Zemni Fields’s changes throughout the seasons, common past-times, and specific festival foods. Essik finds the descriptions of the various dishes interesting, and finds it acceptable to give only very brief summaries of these discussions in his official documents.

Caleb’s questions must always be reported, but these are often summarized and grouped together very easily. Caleb is obviously very careful not to ask anything that would make him sound overly interested in military activities, ports, teleportation capabilities, etc. When he asks about Xhorhas, the questions are broad and simple, those of a tourist. Essik answers them happily. When Caleb asks about Essik’s personal experiences in the land, Essik is even happier to answer, and finds himself fascinated every time he is able to make those strange blue eyes light up in interest.

Other intel that is not necessary for the forms: which foods Caleb Widogast prefers (rice, white fish, oxtail, plum sauces, any roasted vegetables so far), which wines (red, as does Essik), or that Essik has reached out to the Marble Tomes for light sociology knowledge on Empire natives. He is very sure that the mixed messages he is receiving are a fault of his own, and that more effort is required.

It is several days later, after the fourth report, that Scribe Indril stands from her desk when Shadowhand Essik enters her office.

“Shadowhand,” she says respectfully. “I trust that this afternoon finds you well.”

“And you.” Essik’s hand hovers over the opening in his cloak, unsure if she wishes to receive anything from him. Indeed, she rounds the desk, opening the door Essik just shut and turning the small metal dial on the front to indicate that a private meeting is taking place. Essik’s heart goes perfectly still in his rib cage, not beating as Scribe Indril shuts the door, returns to her seat, and indicates for him to take a chair.

“In order to not be disturbed,” She explains, leaning to the side and unlocking a drawer in her desk. She pulls out what Essik recognizes as his most recently submitted report, and makes sure not to display any particular reaction. “I have no suspicions of maliciously exempted content, Shadowhand Essik,”

He can breathe once more.

“But I must also run checks for clarity of word, and I admit that I have some questions. I apologize as these may be a display of my own ignorance.”

Essik will endure any amount of nitpicking in this moment. He is just grateful that something has not led to a formal inquiry. “Please inquire as much as you need. I am still in your debt for making sure these are handled personally.” There are several Scribes, it is known, who keep operational knowledge very close to the chest, but are happy to gossip about matters considered unimportant to the mission. This would surely qualify.

Scribe Indril nods and pulls out a dark blue quill, hovering over a few lines halfway down. “Shadowhand Essik, in paragraph fourteen you state that you have again... please pardon me...”

“Speak freely.”

Scribe Indril adjusts the long silver pin keeping her hair back. In this moment, she looks very young, Essik thinks, although he would not be so disrespectful to her station as to say so. “You state that you invite Mr. Widogast to taste the wine you are drinking from your glass.”

“Correct.”

“You have done this in the past.”

Essik thinks back. “Since our second time eating together, I have done this.”

Scribe Indril nods and moves her quill further down the lines. “Mr. Widogast accepts the drink, thanks you, and does... not offer you the same?”

Essik keeps his back straight and his face impassive. “It is my understanding that many of the social norms we assume to be universal do not, in fact, reach as far as the Empire.”

Scribe Indril shoots him a very disbelieving and compassionate expression. “You also ordered his meal for him, and he accepted this. I’m not sure I understand why this was noted.”

“Ordering a meal for a dining partner is an Empire gesture. I recently gleaned this tradition from some texts.”

Scribe Indril considers this. “I suppose there are many customs which seem normal to those who live with them,” she says finally.

“Indeed,” Essik agrees, and does his best to keep the weariness out of his tone.

“Finally.” Scribe Indril clears her throat and glances at him with what appears to be an apology in advance. Essik steels himself. “There have been several visits to your home.”

“Yes.”

“If there has been....” Indril spins her quill between her fingers, lips pressed together. “Any sort of physical contact, I am obligated to inform you that it must be noted in your reports, and that omission of such content could be viewed as something that would require investigation. I understand that there is a specific sensitive nature to such encounters which requires brevity, but-”

“If such an event occurs, it will not be omitted from my reports.”

Scribe Indril looks at him with open surprise.

Shadowhand Essik remains perfectly still.

“No such event has occurred at this time,” Scribe Indril concludes uncertainly.

“Correct.”

Scribe Indril looks at Essik Theylas, Shadowhand to the Bright Queen, then down to the report, then, after the uncomfortable silence as she unlocks another drawer to access his previous reports and scan them, back to him.

“I do not understand humans,” she declares in a stilted formal tone. “Thank you for your compliance, Shadowhand. I wish you a peaceful day.”

“And you.”

#critical role #critical fic #shadowgast #shadowhand essik #essik #caleb widogast

151 notes · View notes

legxllyblxndc · 5 years ago

Text

after rehearsal drinks ( @foreverwednesday )

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Johnny had loved the first rehearsal... It had been so fun and he'd loved getting to hear everybody sing, so he'd only been even happier when he'd suggested going to the pub round the corner and everybody had agreed. "Alright..." He laughed. "Offering to buy the first round seemed like a good idea at first, but it's been the most complicated time of my life. Who got what?" He asked, putting the tray of drinks in the middle of the table.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Betsy laughed as Johnny came back over, raising an eyebrow. "This one's mine." She laughed, taking her beer off the tray and grabbing what she thought she remembered the person next to her ordering. "This is yours, right?" She smiled.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Scott reached over to grab his and grabbed Hettie's as well, remembering what she'd ordered. "It was a fucking good first rehearsal, wasn't it?" He asked her with a raise of an eyebrow. He'd really enjoyed himself, anyway.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Audrey smiled as she saw Johnny approaching, biting back a giggle. "Watching him carry all of those drinks is like a You've Been Framed Moment waiting to happen." She laughed. "Mine was the cider, thanks Johnny!"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Seth had been really happy when somebody had suggested hanging out after the rehearsal - he was really enjoying getting to know the cast and he was only happy to spend more time with them. "Are you kind of disappointed he didn't trip or am I just mean?" He whispered to Alyssa with a chuckle.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Lucy was so happy with how the first rehearsal had gone - everybody had been so enthusiastic and supportive of each others singing and it had been lovely to see. She felt proud already - but ready for a drink,

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Caleb laughed as he watched Johnny coming back to the table. "I know I should've offered to come with you and help but -- I couldn't help but want to see how you went with all of that." He grabbed his beer and took a sip before he looked around at the others. He was so excited.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: River nodded her head as Betsy grabbed her drink, "Yeah, that ones mine." She laughed slightly. "Not like I could get away with much more than coke, was it?" She asked .She didn't mind being younger than the rest of them but it definitely prohibited trips like this. "Thanks, Johnny."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie smiled slightly as Scott handed her the drink, "You're a gem though, Johnny." She smiled up at him with a laugh. She took a sip of her wine and crossed one leg over the other. "It was great, wasn't it?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow. She was so happy with how it had gone.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Ashton laughed as he heard what Audrey had to say and he nodded his head, "And yet it slipped us by. We could've gotten a while £200 from that." He shook his head slightly as he grabbed his beer. He had been pleasantly surprised with the talent of everyone.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa had been talking to Seth pretty much none stop since the party. She definitely hadn't expected to get along with someone from the musical as well as she got along with Seth and it was so nice. She laughed, covering her mouth as it came out louder than she thought it would. "Oh my god - you're horrible." She laughed and shook her head.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Isaac smiled as he looked at Lucy, "did you enjoy the rehearsal then?" He asked her. He had thought that she had done a really good job with it all tonight and he couldn't wait to watch her go even more.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Johnny laughed loudly, shaking his head. "That is not a good start to this friendship, mate!" He chuckled, pretending to be shocked. "But hey, I'm proud of myself. I made it back here with only a few minor spillages." He chuckled.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Here? You absolutely could. I think I've been coming here since I was sixteen." Betsy chuckled, rolling her eyes. It wasn't a particularly fancy pub and she was sure the owners didn't care what age people were as long as they got the money. "Thanks, Johnny!"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Really good." Scott nodded his head with a smile, overhearing what River and Betsy were saying. "Oh yeah, one hundred percent - you could be twelve and that guy would not care as long as you handed over a tenner and didn't ask for change." He laughed, raising an eyebrow.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I know! We must be tired from the rehearsal, I would never miss an opportunity like that if I was on top form." Audrey laughed, shaking her head. "We could've met Harry Hill and everything. I don't know if the people who send videos in get to do that, but you know - we can dream." She laughed, shrugging her shoulders as she sipped her drink.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Seth hadn't spoken to anybody this consistently since Ella had died and although it was a little unusual for him, he was really enjoying it... He never felt bored when he was talking to Alyssa, he always wanted to know more about her and he hadn't felt like this in so long - not about anybody, even his friends from before. "I know! Don't tell anybody, it has to be a secret." He laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Lucy turned to Isaac as he spoke, nodding her head as she took a sip of her wine. "Yeah, it was great! I'm not gonna lie, I really didn't expect it to be as good as it was. But it was a nice surprise." She chuckled, shrugging her shoulders.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Caleb laughed as Johnny spoke and he shrugged his shoulders, "I think that's how the best friendships start. Start as you mean to go on and all that, right?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "That better not have been my drink!"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Oh my god, seriously?" River asked with a raise of an eyebrow. She looked from Betsy to Scott before she sighed, "Oh for god sake. I wish you'd told me that before." She shook her head ever so slightly.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie rolled her eyes, barely paying attention to the three of theirs conversation before she heard about the spillages. "Then I think that you owe me another glass if you've spilled anything." She laughed before she shrugged her shoulders. She was only teasing him.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Ah man, I love Harry Hill!" Ashton laughed before he shook his head slightly. "We'll just have to get him to do it again another time and make sure we trip him next time." He nodded slightly.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa couldn't remember the last time that she had spoke to someone like this, this consistently. And she was almost certain that it was more than just friendship ... there was something there, wasn't there? But she wasn't going to say that. She was happy with how it was right now. "I'm losing track of how many secrets we have already, you know? It's a good job I'm trustworthy."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Isaac nodded as he listened to what Lucy was saying. "I bet that it was. But it's great that it's already on a good start, right?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "Only go up from here, right?"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Start as you mean to go on? So I'm going to be the pack mule for this entire friendship?" Johnny grinned; he really liked Caleb, they had gotten on well in rehearsal. "So much hate for the spillages!" He laughed as both Caleb and Hettie spoke. "I made sure it wasn't yours, don't worry." He grinned over to Hettie.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Absolutely. You'll just have to get that one down fast and grab another." Betsy laughed; she didn't think it would be a big deal if River didn't drink, but if the girl wanted to then she didn't see why not.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Scott laughed, raising an eyebrow. "What she said - or just go and get another one now." He shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't been here that many times, but he could tell already they weren't that strict.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I love Harry Hill! Went as him for Halloween when I was about thirteen." Audrey laughed at the memory. "Sounds like a plan - although I don't know if he'll be that generous again." She giggled. "Maybe we can just trip him anyway? Anything is better than nothing." She was joking and her smile made that obvious.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Seth laughed, pretending to wince. "I know, I'm turning out to be way more of a secretive guy than I ever thought I was and I'm not sure if I like it. You bring out the worst in me." He smiled, although he absolutely didn't mean it. He was more social than ever around Alyssa.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Definitely. Means there's less to do." Lucy laughed - and that was never a bad thing, was it? "And everybody getting on is so nice, you know? Makes it a hell of a lot easier." She smiled.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Yeah, that's basically the jist of it." Caleb laughed. He shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't expected to get along with Johnny as well as he did but he was definitely glad of it. He was glad to have someone on his side already.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie smiled, "Okay - fine. I'll let you off then." She laughed. She took a sip of her drink then. She liked this group but she knew that most weren't exactly the people that she would hang out with. Though she kind of thought that, that would be part of the fun. "What did you think of all of that, then?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow, obviously referring to the rehearsal.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: River had been trying to be good, to not get them in trouble before they had fun ... but as she listened to the other, Hettie nodded her head. "I'll get another one the next time." She laughed as she nodded slightly. "You come here often then?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Oh my god - no you didn't?!" Ashton asked with a raise of an eyebrow and a laugh. He already found it hilarious. "I need to see the photos of that one, please." He smiled. "Well - we'll just have to keep an eye on things, won't we?" He couldn't wait to spend more time with this lot. "I think we've got ourselves a plan!" Ashton laughed.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa raised an eyebrow, "Wow - I never would've thought that I'd bring the worst out of someone. I'm so sorry!" She laughed though, obviously joking with him. She hadn't ever felt this at ease with someone before and she was so glad that she had gotten to properly know Seth.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "That's never a bad thing." Isaac smiled at Lucy. He liked her and he definitely thought that she was going to do a really good job with all of this. He was glad that they would be able to work closely together. "I'm sure that it does. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be if they didn't."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Yeah, I'll send you the link for sure - it's addictive though, you'll have the soundtrack on for days afterwards." Betsy laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Oh shit, really? I'll get it watched, then. Promise." She laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Johnny liked the way Hettie handled herself; she was so sure of herself and confident and he found it really attractive. "She's got the best songs, that's just a fact of life." He grinned. He loved the Spelling Bee tracks.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Apparently so. No more learning for me today, then." Scott laughed, but he was joking. He was actually quite enjoying the conversation. "Sadness? Fuck... I imagined her being like this rich lady who kept killing off her husbands for their fortunes, but this is way less fun."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Audrey laughed, raising an eyebrow. "The wrong people? I guess I need to start looking for the right ones, then. We'll find out when Johnny trips, I suppose." She laughed. She definitely loved hanging out with this group. "So - how was your head after the party the other night? Bad hangover or did you pull through?" She laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "For you!" Seth laughed, even more so when he realised how loud Alyssa had called out. He couldn't get over how sweet he found her, he just wanted to be around her all the time but he was trying not to be too obvious. He ordered her coke and his pint and waited for the barman to bring them over, thanking him before he took them back to the table.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "You should be. That's like, the highest caliber of compliment from me." Lucy laughed, raising an eyebrow. She had enjoyed the party, but she liked this a lot more. "Good! I'm actually excited for the next rehearsal now."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Mate, do you think that I don't listen to the soundtrack at least twice a week already?" Caleb asked with a raise of an eyebrow and a laugh. He nodded his head, "Yeah. I'll bring the DVD in next time we have rehearsal. You can borrow it."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie never saw the point in being something that she wasn't, or being something that someone else might want. She was happy how she was. "It's absolutely a fact of life." She nodded her head with a laugh. "What about you though? You're gonna kill I can already tell."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "I'll try and not make any more lessons then." River laughed as she shook her head slightly. She was quite enjoying her conversation with Scott, which surprised her. She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess you not being there means that you can do whatever you want though, right? I mean - you can think what you want? If you want her to be some black widow, then that's exactly what she was!"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Ashton nodded his head, "I think that you do." He smiled. "Though something tells me that Johnny would definitely find all of it funny, don't you think?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow. He was pretty sure that JOhnny had a good sense of humor. "I wasn't too bad to be fair. It's why I stick with beer. What about you?"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa laughed before she shrugged her shoulders slightly, "Honestly, you should just learn how to enjoy yourself, you know? Organisation is amazing and you'll love it." The brunette laughed with a nod of her head and a laugh. She hadn't expected to get along with someone like this and it was such a pleasant surprise. "So - what did you think about everything today?"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Then I'll make sure to take it as such, thank you." Isaac smiled. He was so happy talking to Lucy. She already made him feel at ease, just by talking to him. "And you weren't for this one? Kind of nervous?" He asked her, genuinely curious.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Johnny smiled, shaking his head. "You are being very kind. Should I be suspicious?" He laughed, obviously joking. "I mean, I was obviously buzzing when I got the part - I wanted him or Leaf, they're the funny ones to me. And Barfee is gonna be so fun." He laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Scott smiled - he was surprised that he was actually able to have a conversation with the girl. They seemed so different. "Do you think so?" He asked, curiously. "I've never thought about it that way. You know, just giving people stories." He shrugged. "I like it though."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I don't think there's anything that could happen that Johnny wouldn't find funny." Audrey laughed, shrugging her shoulders. She liked that, though. "Ah, a wise man. Oh no, I'm a total baby. I felt like somebody had dug me up and forced me to come back to life." She laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I'll let you teach me and then I'll decide whether it's for me or not." Seth chuckled. He was such an unorganised person, he never knew where anything was or what he was doing and he thought that was pretty much the complete opposite of Alyssa. "Oh - yeah, it was... Well, it was different." He smiled. He had had fun, but it had been so different for him. "I haven't really done a musical or sung much since... well, before. But it was fun. Everyone is really good." It was the first time he'd ever acknowledged what had happened to this group.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Lucy shrugged her shoulders. "Apprehensive, let's say." She smiled. She didn't like to use nervous; it made her feel out of control. "I just thought that getting on while you were drunk is one thing, but in a work setting is totally different. I've never actually directed before, so... I didn't know what to expect." She chuckled.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Caleb laughed, "What? Like we weren't before now?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow. Mostly because he was genuinely curious as to what she was going to say. He shrugged at her question . "I wouldn't say it's a crying musical... it's sad but nothing too bad. It's not Come From Away." He laughed.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie shrugged her shoulders. "I mean - think of it whatever way you want." She laughed. She definitely liked Johny a lot. "They're definitely the most obviously funny, I'll give you that." Hettie nodded. She didn't think there was an unfunny character in the whole thing though.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: River never wrote off anyone. She liked to give everyone a chance. But she definitely formed opinions on people and Scott was definitely pleasantly surprising her. "Sure. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? Surely that counts for this too?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "I think everyone does it pretty naturally anyway, right? All the assumptions and stuff you have about a person? They're all stuff you made up about them in the start, you have no idea if they're true."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Exactly. He's the right kind of people." Ashton laughed and nodded his head. He was having fun tonight, that was for sure. He couldn't wait to see what might happen after all of this. "That explains why you did the dare without a second thought then."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "That sounds like a pretty good plan to me." Alyssa nodded her head. She had always loved organisation and making sure that everything had it's place. She liked that Seth seemed to at least humor her with it all. She nodded as he spoke, barely even blinking at the implication of his ex girlfriend. "Well I'm glad you're back doing it. It would've been a shame if you kept that to yourself for any longer."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "That's very fair." Isaac chuckled. He was the same and he didn't think that his job was nearly as important as Lucys. He could definitely understand why she felt a little nervous. "You haven't? What made you decide that you wanted to do it then?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I was half and half." Betsy teased, laughing quietly. She hoped that there was nobody in the cast she wasn't friends with by the end of all of this. "Okay, that sounds like something I can get behind. Don't even talk about Come From Away, I've only heard one of the songs and I already know I'd cry buckets."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I'll have a think and get back to you." Johnny chuckled, drinking the last of his pint. "Yeah, I agree. It depends on your humour, right? There's a character in there for everybody. I can't deny having a pretty obvious sense of humour." He laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Scott couldn't help but smile slightly; River was bringing him a lot of new perspectives, stuff he had never thought about before. "I mean, yeah - but first impressions can turn out to be right, can't they? Maybe a lot of it is made up, but we're perceptive people... You can tell a lot about someone by the little things they do, or how they appear."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Only him?" Audrey smiled slightly, raising an eyebrow. She seemed to have fun everytime she was around these people and she liked that she was getting to speak to Ashton now, when she hadn't really gotten to at the party. She laughed, shaking her head. "Nah, I would've done that anyway. Dare's a dare. I'd do it here if I didn't think it would get us thrown out." She laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "And to me." Seth smiled. He hoped they actually did make time for what they kept joking about, because the thought of spending one on one time with Alyssa was very appealing to him. "Oh, c'mon... It's nothing special." He laughed, his face flushing slightly. "It's just fun. You know?"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Lucy shook her head. "Nope. I mean, don't get me wrong - I think I was probably bossing the nurses about when I came out of the womb, so I'm used to that side of it. But not the rest. I don't know - I guess it's something impressive to put on a CV. And it's a new challenge." She smiled.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Oh - ouch. No musical for you." Caleb shook his head but the laugh showed that he was joking with her. He liked Betsy, she was definitely easy to get along with. "It really good." He smiled. "Mate, I took my mum to see it a little while ago and we both came out sobbing. I don't think I've ever cried as much."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Alright then, sounds like a plan." Hettie laughed and nodded her head . THe blonde smiled, "Exactly! That's what I love about it. I, personally, find Macy the funniest. And that's what I literally adore. There's so much to it that anyone could fall in love!"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: River smiled. She liked that the two of them were able to have a conversation like this. "Oh yeah, I can't deny that first impressions are important. But don't you love it when people surprise you?" River asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "Like - well, take you for example. Talking to you is -- It's much different that I thought it would've been but in the best way." She shrugged before she tilted her head, "Go on then. What was your first impression of me?"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Nah. You seem pretty cool too." Ashton laughed. "But don't let it get to your head." He chuckled. Ashton didn't think that they would all get on as well as they were but he definitely liked it. He didn't want to be involved in any kind of drama and it seemed that none of them would be. "I mean - not that i'd be again it ... but it would definitely get us thrown out."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa smiled. "Well - what are you doing at the weekend?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow. She figured that she should take matters into her own hands, if he wasn't going to make sure that it happened. "Are you serious? You should hear me and then tell me that you're nothing special." She laughed. "My cat even ran away from me."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Isaac smiled slightly as Lucy spoke. He guessed that most people would be a little miffed if they heard that answer but he definitely understood. "Well - for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job already and it's only day one.. so."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "What?! I just told you we could be friends! You can't penalise me for the decision making period." Betsy laughed; Caleb was another person she could absolutely see herself getting along with and she loved that she was already finding things in common with people. "Oh nah, I definitely couldn't handle it. I bet it's fucking amazing, though?"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Johnny had a smile on his face as he listened to Hettie talk about the musical; it was clear she was passionate about it and he loved listening to anybody talking about something they were passionate about. "Marcy is such a cool character. I'd definitely be scared of her if she were real." He grinned.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Scott raised an eyebrow. "I guess it's not very often I'm surprised by people." He answered. This was absolutely one of those times though and the more he spoke to River, the more differently he saw her. "In the best way?" He laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Honestly?" He asked, shaking his head. "Massive hippy who I'd have nothing in common with." He hoped she didn't take it offensively and he was smiling as he said it - it had been his first impression, but it wasn't the one he currently had.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "I wasn't asking about myself." Audrey laughed, shaking her head. "But I'll try not to. Pretty cool is a pretty big compliment." She rolled her eyes playfully. She laughed as he said he wouldn't be against it, raising an eyebrow. "Save it for the next party then, yeah?" She joked. "Although in some places, naked girls would definitely get us a free round of drinks." She laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: A smile spread across Seth's face. "Uh - nothing... I mean, I'm working a morning shift on Saturday but after that... free as a bird." He grinned. He was so happy that Alyssa actually wanted to meet up. He laughed loudly, shaking his head. "Surely you can't be that bad?"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Lucy knew that her answer probably wasn't one people wanted to hear; but she wasn't going to lie or pretend to have a massive passion for the arts that she didn't have. She didn't see the point in that. "Well, thank you - I guess we'll see how it all goes." She smiled.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "I can absolutely do that. And I already have so it's too late!" Caleb chuckled. He liked Betsy a lot. He liked the entire cast, really, minus Scott. He definitely hadn't expected to get along with everyone here as well as he was. "It is. It's incredible!"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie didn't even realise how she was coming across. She loved the musical and it was definitely something that she was passionate about. She just really wished that she could be brave enough to tell her parents. She was so scared of them knowing and what they might do when they did. "I don't blame you." Hettie laughed. "I'm so excited to see how everyone becomes though, how they all grow into it all, you know?"

HD CK AM IS RW AK: River shrugged, "Maybe you will be now. We'll see." She laughed. She was so glad that Scott seemed to be taking what she was saying. She liked that he was listening to her. She nodded, "Yeah. I love when people surprise me in a good way." River couldn't help but laughing as she heard Scotts first impression of her, "I'd say that, that's pretty fair." She tilted her head then, "And now?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "No? Then who do you think?" Ashton asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "I think so as well, so lucky for you that you got it." He chuckled before he shook his head slightly. Ashton was glad that Audrey didn't take it the wrong way. He thought that she wouldn't, anyway. "I'd say so." He chuckled as he nodded his head. "I don't think this is the place though, right? I mean - look at them." He laughed.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa didn't see the point in beating around the bush. If they both wanted to spend time together.. then why not? "Oh? What is it that you do?" She asked with a raise of an eyebrow." But then yeah - we'll meet up after you've done?" She smiled at him. She was excited to actually have a plan with him. "Oh, I am worse than that."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Isaac almost respected Lucy more for telling him the truth. Most people would've just lied and said that they always wanted to do it. "I guess we will." He nodded his head slightly as he looked up at her. "I'm looking forward to it though."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "No! You'll regret not being my friend when I refuse to send you the bootleg link." Betsy laughed, sticking out her tongue. She was loving getting to know everybody so much more. "Honestly, I'm jealous. Have you seen a lot of musicals, then?"

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Johnny, obviously, had no idea that Hettie's parents didn't know - his parents were so supportive, he couldn't imagine not telling them. "What, like their characters? Yeah, it'll be really cool seeing what spin everybody puts on them." He smiled.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Yeah, we will." Scott nodded his head. He would never have been able to see himself having a conversation like this with River, but here they were. "I mean, it's kind of a given that it's a good way right? No one wants to be surprised in a bad way." He laughed. "And now... well, I don't know. But it's certainly not bad." He smirked.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Well, you said that Johnny was the right kind of people and I thought you might be insinuating that someone else here wasn't." Audrey laughed, shaking her head. "Lucky? Pft. I work hard at being this cool." She joked. She laughed loudly as she looked over at the owners of the pub - an elderly couple. "Yeah, absolutely not the place. Don't worry - I'll keep 'em on." She laughed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Seth liked that Alyssa didn't seem to mind putting herself out there - he would've asked eventually, but it was nice that it was just over and done with. "I just work in the Tesco." He laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "Have done for a year or so now." He smiled. "Yeah, sounds good... I'll come and meet you? I finish at one." He laughed loudly. "I really, really want to hear it now."

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Good." Lucy laughed. "I'd be kind of worried if you weren't, honestly." She wasn't naive enough to assume that they were all going to be this friendly the whole time, but she was basking in it all for now.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "I'll just have to find it myself!" Caleb shrugged before he laughed. He nudged Betsy then. He thought for a second at her question, "My mum really likes them so I try and take her as much as I can. We don't get to a lot because - well, money." He chuckled.

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Hettie sometimes wondered if she made her parents out to be worse than they were but she was almost certain that she didn't. She really wanted them to prove her otherwise, though. "Yeah, exactly. I always find it interesting seeing different people play different roles."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: River shot Scott a small smile. She was so surprised by this conversation but she was absolutely loving it, honestly. She never thought she would've ever gotten along so well with him but she was so happy that she was. "That's very fair." River laughed. She smirked as he said that he didn't know. "Interesting."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Oh." Ashton laughed before he shook his head . "No. No insinuating was done here. I was just meaning as opposed to people who glared at you when you made a joke of whatever." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Then I think that makes you uncool, if you look at the definition." He glanced over at the couple as Audrey did and laugh. "Shame for me, win for them, I guess."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: Alyssa just didn't see the point in waiting around for something. If she wanted it, she would do what she could to get it. It didn't seem all that revolutionary to her. "Oh right." Alyssa smiled as she nodded her head. She was so glad that she didn't have to do a job like that. That she could just get by on what she made via tutoring. "Perfect." The brunette laughed and shook her head. "You'll never speak to me again. No."

HD CK AM IS RW AK: "Again, very fair." Isaac smiled at Lucy. He wondered what might happen with all of them through this. There was bound to be drama with a group like them but he hoped that they could get by relatively unscathed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Never. You'll never find it." Betsy shook her head, laughing as Caleb nudged her. It was nice that there were so many people around that she could joke around with, she really liked that in a person. "Oh, I feel that - they're the best experiences but it's so expensive." She sighed.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "For sure... And it's not even as though Spelling Bee is really popular, they can't copy anybody else." Johnny smiled. He thought that was a really interesting way to think about it all; and he loved that Hettie was just as excited to see everybody else as she was to perform herself.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Scott laughed softly, shaking his head. "Go on then, what was your first impression of me?" He raised an eyebrow. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to hear it - he knew that a lot of people in the cast already didn't like him.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "Which would make a lot of sense. Glad to hear you weren't shading anybody just yet." Audrey laughed; she liked that he had that mindset, that he was able to laugh things off like she could. "What?! How dare you. You just said I was pretty cool. You can't tear it away from me now." She smiled. "Another time, then." She laughed, raising an eyebrow jokingly. She knew she was flirting, but she didn't think it was a big deal.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: Seth laughed, shaking his head. "Of course I will!" He chuckled, but he didn't expect Alyssa to sing - and especially not here. It was nice being around so many talented people, but he definitely didn't think he was on their level. "I wonder who'll be the one to have the next party." He mused.

SC AM JM LO SD BA: "On the plus side - we're probably going to be able to stay out of it all." Lucy laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "Anyway, what made you want to take on such a big role?" She asked, genuinely curious.

#hettie || threads #river || threads #ashton || threads #alyssa || threads #caleb || threads #isaac || threads

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Tommy & Meena

Tommy: [Late enough that the clean up is done and she could've potentially heard about some of the drama but not late enough that if there's a mcwalsh party whereby Ali gets knocked up that he wouldn't already be drunk at that feels like a starting point] Tommy: Cá mbeidh tú ag fliúchadh na seamróige? 🍀🧡💚 Meena: I was about to go down to the restaurant, just hang out there Meena: Caleb and Drew were going to some party but I was not invited so 🤷 Meena: What are you all up to? Tommy: 🍻🥃 Tommy: but the vibe's more drinking ourselves to death, doubt you want an invite either, like Meena: I think that's most people's vibe but they sound happier/more in denial about it...? Tommy: Yeah, it's casually cultural Meena: Yeah? Tommy: You're not feeling patriotic today? Meena: I don't really vibe it any day Meena: but that's not important Tommy: that's a no for the Irish dancing then, alright Meena: We can try Meena: I look even taller when I'm not allowed to move my upper body though Tommy: 😂 Meena: no leprechauns here Tommy: any 🌈💰? Meena: no more than normal 💔 Tommy: I'll be right there then 🌈✨ Meena: That's your superpower Meena: I don't know how 🍀🧡💚 Gus has gone, you'll probably feel more at 🏡 where you are Tommy: It ain't feeling very 🏡 but 💌 received Tommy: I'll stay put, feet & upper body Meena: Why not? Tommy: long story Tommy: you'll hear the short one at 🏫 probably Meena: You don't feel like telling it, understood Meena: is there anything I can do? Tommy: I don't know how to, more like Tommy: you'd redraft it before you were done with the 1st for being too Tommy: unreadable Meena: Nonsense poetry is my specialty Tommy: Yeah? Tommy: maybe you should've been there to roll out the welcome wagon for my new sister Meena: New sister? Meena: Oh, do you mean your mum's baby Meena: not baby now, from before Tommy: she definitely ain't a baby now Meena: So, she came and it went bad Meena: I'm so sorry, Tommy Meena: how bad are we talking? Tommy: bad as it gets Meena: Is your mum alright, I mean Meena: stupid question, but Tommy: It's a fair question & I wish the answer was yeah Tommy: or there was fuck all I could do Meena: That's terrible Tommy: I've gotta go back to school, how can I? Meena: For them Meena: sometimes all you can do is give everyone a small sense of normality Meena: even when you don't want to, or think you can't go on yourself Tommy: Ali can't hold down the fort all on her own, alright, she probably can, but she shouldn't have to Meena: She won't be Meena: she has Carly, and me and Ro and, loads of people, really Meena: I promise we'll all do what we can Tommy: Don't start me on Ro, she wasn't even there Meena: Where was she? Tommy: Fuck knows Tommy: I thought she might be with you Tommy: or your brother Meena: She wasn't with me Meena: maybe Drew but I doubt it, he's been out and about everywhere all day, obviously Tommy: she'll be at home then Meena: Oh, that's a bit Meena: I understand under normal circumstances the pub on St Paddy's is not her ideal place to be but as it was Meena: anyway, that's all to say, you don't need to worry about Ali, she has a good support system to support your parents and take care of Rocky Meena: do you have people YOU can talk to and lean on at school? Tommy: yeah, Carly's ace with him & Ali to have lasted this long, like Tommy: I ain't telling anyone at school about this, loads of 'em already think I'm trash Tommy: or come from it Tommy: they've got a point now Meena: No, they don't Meena: your family are some of the best people I know Meena: you're not anything to be ashamed of Tommy: Everyone around here knows that Joe would be your brother's best customer except he don't carry the right stuff & now loads of 'em also know she's as bad, nah, worse Tommy: & that together they're Tommy: I can't even fucking go there Meena: People shouldn't judge him by that, never mind you as his family Tommy: They do though Tommy: keeping my mouth shut about it at school is my best option Meena: as long as you can express yourself and have an outlet through your work, I can't say I blame you Meena: you don't have to tell everyone everything Tommy: or anything Tommy: 🩰 will do Meena: I shouldn't say anything against words, given who I am and what I want to be but Meena: a comfortable silence can be preferable to words you're unsure of, words that hurt, or that you don't want to speak into existence Tommy: Yeah, I'd take an uncomfortable silence over that too Tommy: everyone's hurting & unsure enough Meena: if it's good enough for Maya Meena: 🤐 Tommy: I didn't mean with you Meena: You can always talk to me Meena: no matter the quality or quantity of your words Meena: you know that Tommy: okay Meena: but no rush on it Meena: obviously Meena: and I won't fill the silence with total nonsense, like Tommy: but those poems are your speciality Tommy: self proclaimed, like, but still Meena: Rude to doubt me Meena: 🥬��🐌👑 Tommy: Gimme one then Tommy: best shot Meena Though some at my aversion smile, I cannot love the crocodile. Its conduct does not seem to me Consistent with sincerity. Meena: 🐊💔 Tommy: He is basically a 🐍 with feet Tommy: You 🖋 that? Meena: Sadly not Meena: I'll try to write something as appropriate scathing for your brother Tommy: Or as 💔 for me, yeah? Meena: Of course Meena: what could be better to cheer you up? 😏 Tommy: as a feel good goes it's obviously unrivalled even by 🍻🎵💃🕺 Tommy: that's the level of your talent Meena: You're either that drunk or you wish you were...code red either way Meena: you could come to the restaurant though, if you actually wanted Tommy: Get ahead at waiting tables for when the West End fucks me off & over Tommy: good thinking Meena: Please Meena: your name is already in lights, I can see it Meena: 🤩 Tommy: as you said please, I'll come Meena: manners maketh the man do what you want? Meena: interesting Tommy: works on this one Tommy: how much of a man I am is up for debate, usually Meena: People are idiots Meena: and too invested in stuff that doesn't affect them whatsoever Tommy: like you said, practically a local celeb at this point Meena: still, what's going on in your tights is just not their business Tommy: that's such a you way to put that Meena: I'll choose to take that as a compliment on me having a consistent voice Meena: though the alternatives are 🤔 Tommy: take as I miss you Meena: Are you back for long? Tommy: Nah, they ain't that patriotic either Tommy: I shouldn't even be here, wouldn't have been if she wasn't coming Meena: That's shittier Tommy: maybe JC is trying to keep me humble before I get too 🤩 Meena: It's Patrick that needs to make a second coming to banish your brother 🐍🐍 Tommy: he's already done that himself Meena: Oh, that was the purpose of today then? Meena: I get it Tommy: if he had one Tommy: might have just been out of his 🧠 on whatever 💊💉🥄🚬 Tommy: or worse so 😍 over her that's all that he gives a shit about besides the above Meena: Wait Meena: he's what? Tommy: you'll hear about it soon as you get back to class, they were doing it for everyone to see Tommy: her purpose given what it did to my ma Meena: Jesus Meena: that's Meena: you're right, no words Tommy: at least he one upped Fraze, I guess Meena: does make that situation seem totally run of the mill in comparison Meena: I have heard it happens Meena: when people who are related but estranged meet Meena: it's like a thing™ Meena: not that that helps you personally, obviously Tommy: Really?! Meena: [sends articles like nerd] Tommy: fucking hell Meena: It's crazy Meena: like you know there should be some strong emotional response but you kinda get it fucked up or something Meena: I don't know, science isn't my forte Tommy: nor mine, but if anyone would get those kind of wires crossed, it would have to be him Tommy: Jesus Meena: at least he didn't have a wife and kids to leave or something like some of these people Meena: it's really sad Tommy: you didn't see her though, she's like Tommy: terrifying Meena: I don't think they have to be a hottie but it probably helps in some cases Tommy: 😂 Meena: how so though? like what was she like Tommy: Alright so if they were putting a modern twist on Frankenstein's monster for the stage she could play that, but she'd need serious anger management first Tommy: electroshock wouldn't be far off, funnily enough Meena: Okay, that does sound scary Meena: even if looks can be deceiving, is the moral my own life has hit home hard, sounds like the insides matched so Tommy: It was like if you took every teenage horror story my ma has told us, scraped off the sugarcoating and then mixed that with the worst shit Fraze has ever done when he's on one, you still wouldn't come close to the mark Meena: I know the sort you mean Meena: no matter how well Drew and Caleb think they do with protecting me, I've had plenty of people approach me asking for them, messing with me Tommy: this once I'm gutted you know what I mean then Tommy: 'cause fuck that Meena: mostly it's the former and it's stupid little kids who want some weed or pills, that's just annoying but yeah Tommy: you know boxing's footwork is dead easy, I could teach you what my dad taught me Tommy: any time you want Meena: thanks Meena: at least my height would finally work in my favour, right? Meena: better reach Tommy: bigger 🎯 too remember Tommy: you have to keep your guard up to protect that face Meena: sounds like you're saying I'm 🌚 Tommy: 😮 Tommy: that's awkward Meena: *frantically googles how to shrink head* Tommy: nah, it's awkward 'cause you grew into your head ages ago & I didn't throw you a 🥳 or anything Tommy: must of happened all of a sudden or without me realising Meena: grew into it?! Meena: so I was a bobblehead before, thanks so much 😂 Tommy: only slightly Meena: I'm only slightly 💔 then Tommy: don't be, it was endearing Tommy: you were a cute kid Meena: okay 👵 Meena: no need to patronize me Meena: my head is only literally big, not metaphorically Tommy: come on, a 🍭 is a great look Meena: Better than a pea-head Tommy: or a 🍐 head like I've got Meena: it's distinguished Meena: be gutted you don't want to be a character actor Tommy: nice save, you can teach me ⚽ when we're done with 🥊 Meena: Sounds good to me Tommy: 👍 Tommy: [show up boy cos the restaurant can't be that far from the pub surely] Meena: [have a nerdy but more chill time, Gus loves everyone he's a good egg, I say you should go to this party for the drama of it all sod it] Tommy: [agreed x 2 the restaurant would have such a nice vibe when Drew and Caleb aren't there which they obviously aren't rn and then yeah we can get more messy with it] Meena: [okay so the plan, we having a lovely time (given the circumstances tonight lol) then her boyf shows up] Tommy: [I just picture her bf being so underwhelming like no offense but he'd have to be someone that Tommy didn't clock on socials so when he realises he's like oh and then dials his campness up to 1000000 being that gay BFF stereotype which she would pick up on immediately cos that's not how he is with her except when he's hiding behind it cos things are uncomfortable between them. I just imagine him raiding Ali & Carly's makeup and wardrobe and making the gayest cocktails he can and getting Meena involved and stealing her attention] Meena: [he wouldn't be and he's also lowkey an arsehole as per her type so he wouldn't be all ❤ on her socials anyway, but all this can be a thing 'cos not seeing the gay boy as a threat and probably wants to get drunk so] Tommy: [don't beat him up Tommy you don't want her to think you're doing it for Drew and Caleb like reasons] Meena: [at least we know you two are distracted] Tommy: [thanks for also getting Carly and Ali involved in your gay antics because we all need whatever fun we can get] Meena: [until you gotta go pregnant Ali] Tommy: [lord, I hope Tommy has left by then] Meena: [lordt] Tommy: [casual 3way with your missus and the less attractive drug dealer in town] Meena: [thank god your genetics are solid underneath that mess boy] Tommy: [and we know Rio looks like Ali anyways] Meena: [you do alright out of it kids] Tommy: [it could be so much worse] Meena: [blame your dad for your insecurities grace] Tommy: [and your evil nan] Meena: [junie is just #unique like no one looking like you boy, the closest is fraze as your uncle] Tommy: [unless he looks like Caleb's dad because we don't know him] Meena: [who can say baby] Tommy: [anyway take a moment to appreciate all the Tommy and Meena dancing everyone, giving you that for free] Meena: [love that] Tommy: [soz shit bf he is a threat because their chemistry especially when they are dancing is ridiculous goodbye] Meena: [deffo gonna get mardy at that and go off to have an argument] Tommy: [are you happy now Thomas? Thought not] Meena: [awkwarddd] Tommy: [get drunker boy that'll totally make it better and not worse] Meena: [cry in the bathroom that's a mood] Tommy: [ruin your make up, oh babe] Meena: [everyone else is so wrecked you'll fit in] Tommy: [by not doing drugs you're one of the least messy] Meena: [exactly dr phil] Meena: [the next day] Meena: Have a safe flight back Tommy: Cheers, I'll probably just 💤 Meena: Can't blame you Tommy: did you get any? Meena: Yeah, I'm fine Meena: had to get up early to clean the restaurant though so not as much as I'd ideally want Tommy: had another 🌱🍏🍈🥬🌿🍐🥝🥒🌼 juice, yeah? Tommy: that's pretty patriotic, you know Tommy: better late than never, like Tommy: throw 🍊🍑🥕 in there too & you're sorted Meena: Yeah, I bet EVERYONE in this fair nation is starting a juice cleanse this AM, not having a fry-up, nah Tommy: 😏 Tommy: green eggs & ham would keep you in theme Meena: 🤢 Tommy: fair 🍳🥞🧇🥓🥐🥯🍞 then Tommy: take your pick Meena: are you gonna post it to me? Tommy: be messy if you're having 🍳 or 🥞 but saves me having to use any words Meena: Probably best to stick to non-perishables Meena: best option for us both, like Tommy: Yeah Meena: How was it, this morning Meena: before you left Tommy: how you'd expect Meena: Yeah Tommy: Bea has to leave too so Fraze's dramatics will take centre stage for a sec but Meena: Distraction is probably the best technique for right now Tommy: worked last night Meena: I bet the parties you have in London are even better Tommy: only 'cause we 🩰 ain't supposed to be partying Meena: and what's more fun than prohibition, sure Tommy: forbidden 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥝 juice is my fave, can't lie Meena: 🙄😏 Meena: enjoy Tommy: you're not supposed to give me your blessing, sucks the fun right out Tommy: forbidden, remember Meena: I'm not a teacher Tommy: yeah you are, whenever Anne needs you Meena: Okay, smartypants Meena: there's nothing I could teach YOU Tommy: not with THAT attitude Meena: 🤨 maybe next time Meena: bring your own 🩰 Tommy: & 🥊 Meena: a look Tommy: the 🩳 are too Meena: what do you wear on your top half though Meena: leotard? Tommy: lads don't usually wear anything to show off 💪 Meena: Who are you showing off to? Tommy: The other lad of course, name a sport that ain't homoerotic Meena: not when you come back here Tommy: when I come back here most of all Meena: no boys in my classes Tommy: Anne's been a letdown from the very beginning, what can I say? Tommy: you're on your own, Meeps Meena: I'll survive Tommy: I know

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doomlover21 · 5 years ago

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Widojest Week Day 2

So this wasn't my original idea, either. It was something that came to me last night, and I spent a few hours this morning on it. Enjoy!

When the thugs came out of nowhere, it didn’t come as much of a surprise to him as it should have. They had both been talking about feeling someone’s eyes on them for awhile now. It didn’t surprise him when the pair of them alone were enough to kill off two of the thugs and scare off the third. But what did surprise him is when the tiefling beside him suddenly pitched forward clutching at her stomach.

“Jester!” he had called. He had rushed over and grabbed her before she could tumble to the ground. But he didn’t have the physical strength to keep her upright. He knew this. She knew this. Every member of the Mighty Nein knew this. It was something of a joke amongst them. Caleb Widogast, the weak wizard. So weak that he could do little to prevent the two of them from collapsing to the ground, but at least he could say that he did slow down their fall.

She informed him bitterly that she didn’t have any healing spells left. That the fight had drained the last of it when she had cast her cure wounds on him after a particularly nasty gash had opened up on his leg. Neither one had a healing potion, either. He cursed their poor fortune and lack of foresight to not restock themselves.

He had looked around. They were in Nicodranas. Right out in the open, but not in an area populated by very many people. They would need to find someplace to hole up for the night so that Jester’s wound could properly heal. There was no way that he would be able to manage carrying her all the way back to the Lavish Chateau. He was far too weak for that, and the Chateau was much too far.

A dark, deserted alleyway did catch his eye. It wasn’t very far, and if he really tried, he could probably carry her all the way there. The problem was that he would need to shift her, and he wasn’t sure of the extent of her injury. He certainly was no cleric, and he never pretended to be. Nor was he really skilled in first aid. He admittedly hadn’t been paying that much attention to that lesson in school. Sure he had bandaged a wound here and there for himself and for Nott, but there was not much else he could do.

“Jester? I need to mofe you. Can you get up?” he had asked, but she was groggy and looked like she was on the verge of passing out.

“Okay…okay…okay…you can do zis, Vidogast,” he encouraged himself as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. Placing one hand on her back and the other under her legs, he took several deep gasping breathes before lifting up with all the strength he could manage. Gods, she was heavy. Heavier than he had anticipated, and he could only go a few unsteady feet before stopping. He put her down and took a brief respite.

‘The sun will be going down soon,’ his keen mind reminded him. He repeated the process of picking her up, walking a few feet and putting her back down several more times before finally making it to the shelter of the alleyway. Now thoroughly exhausted and drained of energy, he could barely summon up the will and the effort to bring out his spell book and begin ritual casting Leomund’s tiny hut.

After ten agonizing minutes, the dome burst into life around the pair and he finally breathed a sigh of relief. They were finally safe. He let himself rest for only a brief moment, though, before turning his attention to his partner. She had her eyes closed and her hand was still resting on her stomach. Bright red blood was staining her blue skin as well as her dress.

He moved her hand aside and gasped at the deep gash in her abdomen. It didn’t seem as though it had cut an artery, but that was only his best guess. He was thankful, though, that it didn’t seem to go much deeper than surface level so none of her organs or other soft innards were harmed.

“I am no cleric, Jester, as you know, but I vill do my best to take care of zis and you until vee can get help in zee mornink.”

He wasn’t sure why he was talking to her unconscious form, reassuring her that everything would be okay, but he still continued to do it even as he was reaching into his bag and pulling out his water skin and bandages. His fingers traced the fabric of the bandages as his eyes traced his bare arms. He hadn’t been wearing his bandages for weeks now, but yet he couldn’t part with them. He supposed that he had kept them to reassure himself that at any time he could put them back on and hide them from not only himself but the rest of the world.

He shook his head to refocus his thoughts. Jester needs you, he reminded himself. He took his water skin and very gently poured the liquid over the wound, being careful to not unnecessarily spill it onto her dress. With the wound now cleaned, he swallowed down his fear. He put the bandages down.

“I am goink to do somesink. Zis vill hurt, but it’s zee only sink I can sink of to do right now,” he told her. He took another deep breath.

‘Now or never,’ he told himself. His fingers began moving through the air in very practiced, deliberate, familiar motions weaving a symbol in the air as arcane words tumbled unsteadily out of his mouth. The incantation completed, his hand ignited into fire.

“Please let zis vork. Please let zese flames be useful for more zen just pain,” he muttered. He very gently and gingerly placed the hand still on fire onto her wound. He could feel her tensing and flinching underneath him, but he continued with his work until he was satisfied that the wound was sufficiently closed. He removed his still burning hand and released the magic as he stared at his work. Where once had been a deep gash that was slowly dripping blood, was now a deep jagged scar of burnt flesh. But it wasn’t bleeding anymore that he could see.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I had to do zat,” he whispered over and over as he gently wrapped the bandages over her body. Without any scissors on him, he instead continued to wrap the bandages until he had just enough to tie it off. Only with this task complete did he finally allow himself to relax completely. He collapsed against the wall of the alley beside his patient, his body beyond the point of exhaustion.

He didn’t allow himself to sleep just yet, though. He had one more task left. He grabbed hold of Jester’s bright pink haversack and had to fight to free her from it. Once free of it he reached inside and took out some of her blankets. He pulled her body to him and allowed her weight to push them to the ground. He wrapped his arms around her and then pulled the blankets over both of them and fell into an uneasy sleep.

Jester was the first to awaken in the morning. She glanced around herself in confusion. Her body was stiff and sore, but she guessed it was from how she had fallen asleep. She could still feel a stab of pain from her stomach, but a quick prayer to the Traveller cleared that right up. She could also feel a heavy arm around her and someone’s steady breathing.

She looked beside her and was greeted by two slitted blue eyes staring back at her. She nearly screamed in terror until she saw the dirt smeared face and the red-brown hair partially obscuring it.

“Cayleb?” she had asked to which he hummed in response.

“What happened?”

“Vee vere attacked by sugs yesterday. Vee managed to scare zem off, but you vere hurt…” he started to explain.

“I remember that part,” she said as her hand went to her stomach, where instead of her dress she felt an unfamiliar fabric brushing her fingers. She looked down and saw white bandages wrapped around her torso.

“Did you do this?” she asked as she gestured to them. He nodded. The pair slowly started pulling away from each other as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.

“Ja. I’m sorry zat I am not much of a healer, but it vas zee best zat I could do at zee time,” he muttered. His eyes kept glancing at her wound as she slowly began unwrapping it.

“I’m sure you did a good job, Cayleb. You saved me,” she insisted. He shrugged as if he didn’t believe it. With one last rotation, the last of the bandages fell away. Her eyes widened as she took in the deep scar where her wound had been. Caleb’s face flushed and he lowered his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I had to…I had to…” he kept muttering over and over as she took in the angry flesh. She ran her fingers over it.

“What did you do?” she whispered. To the wizard’s ears it sounded like an accusation.

“I can understand if you hate me for it, but it vas bleedink and I didn’t know vat else to do. I burned you…I hurt you, Jester. I hurt you…and I don’t deserfe your gratitude. Not for zis…certainly not for zis,” he ranted.

“You used your fire to close the wound?”

“Ja. Zee fire cauterizes it so zat it vill close, but it still leafes behind scars,” he explained. Her fingers continued tracing the wound as tears started falling from her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he was still repeating. She furiously shook her head.

“No, don’t you dare be sorry. You saved me, Cayleb. You saved me, and I couldn’t be happier,” she insisted and it was enough of a shook that he looked up at her. A smile was on her face and it looked like she wanted nothing more than to hold him close. She did put her hand on his arm, though.

“You saved me,” she insisted again. She pulled him in closer and he was too weak to resist. She wrapped both of her arms around him and was careful to not crush the skinny man.

“You saved me…Thank you, Cayleb,” she told him. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Jester reminded him that their friends would be looking for them. She pulled him to his feet.

“Come on. Let’s go back to the Chateau. I’ve gotta tell everyone how you’re an amazing healer when you wanna be,” she said. His cheeks turned a bright red, but they turned an even brighter red when she placed a kiss onto said cheek. She pulled him along with her, and looking at how happy she was, for once the pyromaniac was grateful for his magical flames.

#widojestweek #widojest #caleb widogast #jester lavorre #critical role #critrole #fanfic #healing

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mnemememory · 6 years ago

Text

tick tick tick

The first time (sort of) Caleb meets Beau, she punches him in the nose.

“You motherfucker,” she says, throwing herself into a chair next to Nott and waving down Adelaine the waitress. “You owe me so many drinks.”

(or; the time-travel fix-it that absolutely no one asked me to write, but I did anyway)

fine part 2 on ao3 here and on tumblr here

The first time (sort of) Caleb meets Beau, she punches him in the nose.

“You motherfucker,” she says, throwing herself into a chair next to Nott and waving down Adelaine the waitress. “You owe me so many drinks.”

“Hello, Beauregard,” Nott says. “It’s very nice to see you again.”

“Don’t talk to me,” Beau says, and then turns to face Adelaine. “I need alcohol. So much alcohol. He’s paying.”

“I will pay for it,” Caleb promises, reaching into his purse and pulling out three silver coins. He places them onto the table in front of them, stacking one atop the other. Adelaine gives them a long look, before scooping up the coins and walking briskly away.

“Make it strong!” Beau calls after her.

“It is good to see you, Beau,” Caleb says, cautiously. There is blood dripping down from his nose. He feels around the bridge, making sure that nothing is broken, before staunching the flow with the sleeve of his threadbare jacket.

“No,” Beau says. “No, don’t talk to me, I’m not drunk enough for this.”

Caleb gives a heavy sigh. “Beauregard –”

“CALEB!”

Caleb barely has time to gauge the oncoming line of attack before he is assaulted by something very fast and very blue. Both he and the aggressor are knocked off the chair and onto the ground. Caleb’s head hits the floor with a painful crack, and he groans as the chair flattens onto his hip. He tries to get up, but Jester is a very happy (and incredibly strong) limpet at his side, severely limiting his range of movement.

Fjord follows after her at a more sedate – though still purposeful – pace, and easy smile settled onto his handsome face.

“Now, now, Jester,” he says, amusement plain. “Let him breathe.”

“Hello,” Caleb wheezes out, patting Jester on the back. She does not get up. Caleb tries to push her away, before realising the ultimate futility of the action. He lies back down and stares at the ceiling.

“Don’t act like you can’t hug people, Caleb,” Jester says, face buried into his neck. “I know you can hug people. You’ve hugged me before.”

“I am not much of a hugger, my friend,” Caleb says, though he does concede to putting his arms around her shoulders and squeezing. That seems to be just enough, because Jester gives a dizzy laugh and backs off. As she gets to her feet, all the windows of the inn slam open at the same time, sending a blast of cold air into the otherwise warm interior. A few patrons let out simultaneous startled exclamations, some more vicious than mean spirited than others. One man drops his flagon of beer onto the ground.

Jester smirks down at Caleb, and then effortlessly lifts him to his feet.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Jester says, patting him on the head and then picking up his chair for him. “You are an excellent hugger.”

The knock to his head has Caleb’s nose bleeding afresh, and he’s almost gone through the entire elbow of his sleeve. Nonchalant, Jester pulls out a handkerchief and smushes it into Caleb’s face with just a little too much force.

Blood dripping from his chin and onto his collar, and Caleb couldn’t be happier.

“It’s certainly been a while,” Fjord says, keeping his voice light as he settled in next to Beau. She doesn’t bother acknowledging him, too busy stealing Caleb’s drink and downing it in one large gulp. “A few years, by my guess.”

“I am not entirely sure,” Caleb admits, and there’s something hot burning in his stomach, warmer than a campfire on a cold winter’s night. “I have tried counting, but.”

“It’s a bit difficult to keep track of it all,” Fjord finishes for him.

Beau loudly slurps down the last of Caleb’s beer and side-eyes Nott. “You usually have alcohol,” she says.

Nott hugs her beer closer to her chest, porcelain mask firmly affixed to her face. “Don’t even think about it!” she says, teeth sticking over the edge. She looks very young, and very feral. Caleb kind of wants to hug her, just to prove to himself that he can. “I don’t have my flask, yet – I am not sharing this with you, Beau, back off.”

“You’ve gotten nasty,” Beau says. She’s about to say something else – probably unflattering to the extreme, probably with the potential for a bar fight – when Adelaine comes in with the biggest tankard of ale Caleb has ever seen. Beau’s eyes brighten, and she gives Adelaine a wide smile and a wink.

“Thanks,” she says, and promptly attempts to drown herself. Fjord has to drag it off of her before anything unsettling happens.

From the way Adelaine is looking them over (Jester attempting to strangle Nott with the power of her biceps, Fjord wrestling an intensely uncooperative Beau, Caleb bleeding over the table), they probably seem a little insane.

“Call me over if you need anything else,” she says. She doesn’t sound particularly enthused.

“Thanks for the alcohol,” Beau calls after her, and there’s a calming predictability to her rakish grin. Caleb counts them in his head – one, two, three, four –

The door opens.

They – all of them – almost break their necks with how fast they turn their heads. Caleb’s heart is pounding something awful in his chest. There’s a painful kind of certainty to the “knowing”, to the understanding, to the – weight, of it all. Caleb’s shoulders ache.

Mollymauk Tealeaf walks into the bar, breezing past the doorway with a dazzling flourish of his multi-coloured coat. His smile is sharp and his eyes glitter red, all flamboyance and cheery certainty. Flyers flash in-between his long fingers as he slides them along tables and into the open hands of the unwary.

There’s a shadow trailing at his back, large enough to be impossible to miss. Yasha doesn’t move more than a few feet away from Molly at any given point in time, eyes following the progression around the room with laser-like precision.

Caleb watches out of the corner of his eye as Beau makes a half-aborted attempt to get to her feet. Yasha looks over their way, taking in their clustered grouping with a blank face.

Molly comes to their table, finally – finally. Frumpkin is curled around his ankles, and there is still blood running down Caleb’s face, and everything is finally correct with how the world works.

“Mollymauk Tealeaf,” Molly says, giving a low bow. Behind him, Yasha rolls her eyes. “At your service!”

Caleb has a Life’s Work.

It’s as grandiose as they come, he likes to think – altering the very fabric of existence. It’s possible. People have done it before. During darker times, bigger times, people have changed the fate of the world and withheld the heavy embrace of death.

(Oh, and the Mighty Nein regularly use it to win drinking contests).

But resurrection – no matter how complete – will not sooth the stitches in Caleb’s soul. He wants something bigger. He wants something better. He wants to have never made the mistakes he has made in the first place.

Impossibly, one day –

He finds it.

Caleb meets Nott in the middle of a robbery, because some things just never change.

“What are you doing here?” he hisses, ducking back from a ray of light as city guards survey the area with large flashlights and vicious-looking dogs. Caleb is not a dog person. “I mean – who are you?”

Nott looks unimpressed about everything, though that could just be the way her eyes gleam wild in the low light. Her mask is off, and her teeth are bare, and she has a tight hand wrapped around Caleb’s forearm like she’s worried he’s going to disappear.

“Don’t give me that!” she whisper-yells, which – remarkably – does not immediately alert the guards to their position. “Do you know how long it’s been, Caleb? Do you? I’ve been trying for weeks to remember which store I had been casing out – this happened years ago, and my memory isn’t the best –”

Before he can think better of it, Caleb sweeps her up into a hug.

Yasha is surveying their little group with the distinct impression of a mother duck who finally has all her ducklings in one place.

She is sitting next to Beau – Fjord having surrendered his place with only a few good-natured grumblings – with Molly in her direct line of sight. He looks visibly startled, though he hides it well. His words are slick with charm. Still, there’s something off about his carnival spiel this time around. It takes him a few good five minutes to break, which is better than Caleb would have given him the first time around.

“Are these friends of yours, Yasha?” he says.

Yasha doesn’t look up from her own tankard of ale, arm slung low around Beau’s waist. “No.”

Jester pouts. She’s been vibrating in her seat since the moment Molly walked into the tavern. It has taken previously unknown depths of patience not to grab him in a vicious, bloody hug right there and then. “Yasha,” she says, sounding theatrically heartbroken. “Am I not your friend?”

Yasha sighs. “Yes, we are friends.”

“How about Nott?” Jester demands.

“Her too.”

“What about Caleb? Is he still your friend?”

Caleb gives her a narrow look, but she doesn’t even bother glancing in his direction. Yasha takes another long swig of her ale.

“Yes, we are friends.”

Caleb lets out a breath he hadn’t even been aware of holding. He hadn’t been particularly loud about it, but Nott gives him a sharp look anyway. “Caleb is my friend as well,” she says, loud enough that the rest of the table sits back and takes notice.

“We are definitely friends, Caleb,” Jester says, beaming. “We’re all friends! Oh, I missed you guys so much.”

Yasha looks Molly dead in the eye. “I have never seen these people in my life.”

They visit the circus again. Molly undoubtably thinks they’re all crazy, and Yasha actually has a paying job that isn’t “freelance monster killer”.

“You should let us keep our weapons this time,” Beau says, trying futilely to hide her staff behind her back. “You know us. It’s fine.”

“I don’t know who you are,” Yasha says. Molly barks out a sharp laugh, which is soundly ignored. He starts moving back into the tent, but Yasha’s sharp glance pins him to the sport. She has him well trained. Caleb watches on, amused. “And I have to confiscate all your weapons for security purposes.”

“Yasha!” Beau protests, but Yasha just leans forward to grab Beau’s staff right out of her hands. “Hey! At least give me the same deal as last time!”

“No.”

“This is robbery,” Beau says, shoving the money into Molly’s hands and then turning to face the rest of them, hands folded petulantly across her chest.

“I’ll pay for everyone else,” Nott says. Beau gapes at her.

“Wait –”

Yasha solemnly takes the money (from where he’s standing, Caleb counts short, though that doesn’t seem to bother her overmuch) and ushers them inside. She does not take away anyone else’s weapons.

This time, there is no killer frog, because months ago (Yasha says) she had taken one look at Kylre and said, placidly, “Gee, that kind of looks like a fiend.” He had then proceeded to try and rip her throat out, which had led some credence to her offhand observation.

For most of his life, Caleb has been afraid of fire.

As a child, he would light candles with a simple tug of his stomach, watch as they sputtered light into the shadows and made them deeper, darker. His friends had delighted at the game, loved the way he could blink and leave a room differ than when he found it. They grew bored, over time, but in the beginning things had seemed so wonderful, so – well. Magical.

“Oh no,” Caleb says, voice bland as he stares at the unlit candle. “I can’t do it.”

Trent Ikathon gives Astrid a sharp look. She frowns at him, fingers moving in slow anxious circles at the base of her wrist.

“Caleb?” she says.

“It’s too hard,” Caleb says. “I’m too tired. Maybe another day?”

“You did it yesterday,” Astrid hisses, face mortified. She turns to Ikathon. “I don’t know what’s the matter with him, he –”

“Work ethic,” Ikathon says, bloodless lips drawn into a thin smile. “Is just as important as raw talent.”

“I’m so embarrassed,” Caleb says, channelling his inner Caduceus. Astrid groans and buries her face into her hands.

(Twelve-year-old Caleb whispers quiet to twelve-year-old Astrid: “Don’t let them pull you in. Don’t let them change you.”

She does anyway, because she’s always been too smart to listen to Caleb, so why should she start now? Caleb watches her go and hooks fire-resistance charms into the bedrock of his house.

He does not follow her).

“I’m leaving the circus,” Yasha announces to Gustav the next day.

Molly looks over at her. “You are?”

“So is Molly,” she adds.

“I am?”

Caleb wishes that he wouldn’t look so delighted.

The problem with time travel – especially with extremely experimental and possibly accidental time travel – is that Caleb has no idea what the fuck he’s doing. He’s got some things right, at least.

“If you’re going to do this again,” Jester says, when they set out. “A little warning next time would be very much appreciated.”

“Yeah,” Fjord says. “Maybe just yell something right beforehand. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience, waking up and not seeing any of you all.”

“I was very confused,” Jester says. “My Mama was also very confused.”

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Molly says cheerily.

Yasha doesn’t say anything. The look that she gives him is more than enough.

“Now we just have to go and get Caduceus,” Beau says. “And we’ll be good to go. But yeah, Caleb – next time this happens, I’m going to give you more than just a broken nose if we don’t talk about it extensively beforehand.”

“Do not worry, my friends,” Caleb says. He’s almost skipping along the road, with how light he feels. “I do not think this will be necessary. Once was enough. The next time we go through my hometown, I will introduce you to my parents.”

#critical role #critical role campaign 2 #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #beauyasha #implied #the mighty nein #time travel fix it #sort of #i think i'm funny #behold! the fic I absolutely did not promise for this week #posting cause I can't watch live #damn my work....#crack treated with vague seriousness #vague mention of canon character death #2.3k #series: black powder #part 1

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mollymauk-teafleak · 6 years ago

Text

but the heart of a man is a simple one (part 3)

Sorry this took so long, you know how school be

Ao3 | ko-fi of a broke trainee teacher/author

reblog & comments = a very happy and motivated author

Caleb wasn’t very good at sitting still.

His leg itched to bounce, his spine to slouch, his fingers to drum restlessly against his kneecap. But every time he did, the painter would give him a sharp look, as if Caleb had ran up and kicked his easel over with no word of warning. Every time it happened, he could feel his husband next to him trying to hide a bemused smile.

He’d tried to protest this, trying to argue that having a portrait done was a senseless extravagance, a waste of time and money. But it was tradition apparently, that all newly married couples who dwelt in the palace be immortalised in paint and plaster and a huge, grandiose gilded frame. Caleb had tried to find the courage but, after a supercilious smirk from the Grand Mage, his argument that just because something had been done thousands of times before didn’t mean it was the right thing to do had stayed on his tongue and he’d slumped into his chair and not spoken for the rest of the meeting. He sometimes felt that the other archmages only ever allowed their little pet, quota filling commoner a certain number of spoken words per meeting and after that he was little more than a prattling child to them.

So here they were, a bitter Caleb and a faintly perplexed Mollymauk, sat in a ridiculous half- reclining pose on two of the most hideously fancy and most uncomfortable chairs in existence, getting all manner of aches and bruises while a commissioned human artist, with squinting eyes and a long pointed nose that made him look rather like a fastidious little rodent, sketched out their forms and filled them in with colour over the course of five hours. Caleb was ready to scream within five minutes.

After the hundredth or so time of being asked it the honourable archmage could please tilt his head up a little further, thank you, the wizard had been ready to snap until Mollymauk shifted beside him and soothingly squeezed his arm while flashing him a sympathetic grin, flickering back to his statuesque pose before the painter could notice.

Caleb felt a small smile tug at his own lips, his blood cooling a little bit. At least there were much worse people to be stuck posing beside.

The month or so since their wedding had been odd, though not in an uncomfortable way. Caleb was still getting used to having someone else there in his apartments, to there being another set of footprints, soft breathing next to him in the night, the water running in the bathroom when he wasn’t in it. Purple hairs clinging to some of his clothes, jewellery that was definitely too extravagant to belong to him left abandoned on the dresser, a scent of lilies and jasmine lingering in the air even when he was alone.

It was new, which meant it automatically made Caleb feel dizzy. But there were good bits about it too.

Sometimes there would be a pot of tea waiting for him on his desk beside all the books, steaming contentedly. Mollymauk would make light comments over dinner, not seeming to mind that Caleb would mostly read through the meal, making light fun of the people he’d encountered and the things he’d done that would always make Caleb laugh and feel as though he was being entrusted with a secret. The warmth of another person beside him in the night was a comfort too, especially the moments where Molly’s hand would stray as he slept to rest on Caleb’s arm or his shoulder. The first time that had happened, Caleb had been tempted to gently shrug it away, Molly would never know to mind. But somehow he hadn’t. Somehow he’d started to wish for it.

True to his word, Mollymauk had never expected anything more than Caleb was ready to give him. Right at the start, he’d even offered to remain in the guest suite that he’d been allocated back when he was simply a visiting dignitary and not a lord of Zadash by marriage. Touched but understanding that it would only raise suspicions and but him more in the council’s firing line, Caleb had declined and his humble apartments were slowly starting to fill up with all of Molly’s things, somehow slotting in beside his own with minimal disruption.

Caleb found it strange how two lives that were so startlingly different could be stitched together so easily. Next to Molly, he felt like rough, cracked leather next to the sheerest, most elegant silk and yet their peculiar patchwork seemed to be coming together, slowly and tentatively but all the same.

“I am finished, my lords,” the painter announced, waking Caleb up from his own thoughts, “Your portrait is complete.”

He turned around the canvas far bigger than himself, for the two of them to see. Caleb didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Molly apparently did, as he stifled a laugh with a cough that quickly turned into effusive praise that seemed to please the artist, even as hollow as it sounded to Caleb. He just stayed staring at the painting, feeling his heart sink further and further.

In short, they looked utterly ridiculous. If it were just a bad painting, Caleb probably just have giggled along with Molly and shrugged it off as a waste of the council’s money but it wasn’t that simple. The two figures were so far removed from the actual people they were supposed to portray that it was more caricature than portrait. In the painting, Archmage Widogast had the most smug, most haughty expression that clearly didn’t belong on a face as long and drawn as his. It was as if the painter had pulled the expression Caleb detested most right off the face of the Grand Mage and pasted it onto a thicker, more farcically masculine version of Caleb himself. Mollymauk looked slightly better though his natural colourfulness clearly hadn’t translated well into the more traditional, baroque Zadashi style, like hastily trying to cut a ball gown into a pair of overalls. The painter hadn’t even done most of his tattoos, completely inventing imaginary long sleeves to cover his forearms and a high necked shirt to cover his chest.

They looked like two people who had absolutely no business being together, being in the palace even. Under the direction of those in charge, they’d been forcibly remoulded into the people they wanted them to be, not who they actually were, and the result was a depressing misery.

“Well, at least we got a laugh out of it?” Molly chuckled as soon as the door closed behind the artist, “Though I swear, that abomination is not hanging in our apartment. Shall we fake a mortal accident? What do you think, we accidentally left it too close to a candle and it went up in flames or oh! Maybe Frumpkin thought it was a new toy for him and clawed it to shreds…”

He didn’t see. He didn’t see the spite that lingered behind the ridiculousness. Of course he didn’t, he hadn’t been here long enough, he’d been born into this life, he’d never felt out of place in this world.

“I’m going to go to the library,” Caleb mumbled flatly, unable to even try and sound normal.

Molly’s smile died, “Oh…okay, love. I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Yeah, maybe,” he was already at the door, already letting it close behind him.

***

There had been revels going on through the city right from sunrise and even now, at sunset, the faint shouts and songs and even the low booms of firework spells still reached the palace.

Caleb could read the wistful expression on his husband’s face as he paused in the process of getting ready for the ball, standing by the window and watching as flowers of fire and light and noise bloomed over the city at the base of the hill. He had no doubt that his high-spirited, colourful husband would be much happier down in amongst the citizens, drinking ale and watching the parade and the fireworks and dancing in the streets. Certainly happier than he would be at the archmages’ own celebrations, a lavish ball with only delicate flutes of champagne and expensive canapés and dignified conversation, in the room they’d been married in just a few months ago though considerably more pomp was being thrown behind this event. Distinguished people were coming from all over the realms to attend the performance masquerading as a party. Caleb was already sourly wondering what new deals and agreements would be made over the caviar and wine that would suck even more funds out of the charitable foundations he’d been arguing fruitlessly for at all the recent meetings.

“Your people seem to really love this day,” Mollymauk murmured suddenly, making Caleb lift his head from trying to tie his cravat to very limited success. He hadn’t been paying enough attention to his husband as they’d been dressing, only now could he see how elaborate his dress actually was. It was tight, clinging to his body, adorned with so much gold thread that it seemed entirely made of spun metal and over the top was a loose, flowing curtain of almost see through purple silk that would brush the floor when he danced. His jewellery was just as elaborate, amethysts in a tight, almost lace like web around his neck and piercings dripping with gold, arching right up to his horns like the metal had taken on a life of its own and grown like vines.

“It’s one of our most important feast days,” he nodded in agreement, moving over to stand by his husband at the window. Zadash really did look beautiful from up here, a maze alive with colour and light from the many lanterns hung high the streets and the folk in bright costumes wandering through the merriments, “It celebrates the city’s founding.”

Molly frowned, trying to remember, “You did tell me, didn’t you…it was the one in the book about the young elf woman lost in the woods who found the spring, right? And she had her family there and the city grew…”

“You were listening!” Caleb smiled, teasingly.

“I only fell asleep towards the end,” Molly rolled his eyes, grinning, “I got the gist of it.”

“But yes, that’s it in essence. Everyone in the city gets a day off and there’s music and a parade and all the children dress as folk heroes and hold treasure hunts all through the streets.”

“Sounds fun,” the wistfulness deepened. Caleb could easily picture Mollymauk in his gilded mask and his peacock feathers, part of the parade as he juggled his scimitars atop a cart strewn with flowers, running with the children and directing them subtly to where the gold coins were hidden in the nooks and crannies of the alleyways, complimenting all the regular attendees to his shows on their costumes and re-enacting the tales from which they’d sprung, playing the parts of the dragon or the monster to make the children laugh.

“Maybe…” Caleb bit his lip, “Maybe we need only show our faces tonight? Have a drink and then make our excuses and go into town? No one would know us in costume.”

Molly’s eyes brightened for a few moments before he slumped a little and sighed, “No. No, this is our place now. I need to stop pulling stunts like that, I promised the lords back home I would. Time to grow up and be old and boring…”

Caleb smiled slightly, reaching out and taking Molly’s hand. He was getting much better at that, offering touch and accepting it in return. The whole concept was really starting to grow on him; it was almost like every brush of Molly’s hand against his own, every time Molly would let him brush his hair of a night because the movement of the brush through his long, silken curls was comforting to him, every time the tiefling would squeeze his shoulder or brush a stray lock behind his ears or nudge him to punctuate some whispered joke filled a hole inside his stomach.

“You could never be boring, Mollymauk,” he said gently.

Molly seemed touched at that, his smile growing back. He turned to Caleb, his hands gently flickering up to redo his cravat correctly, “Flatterer. Here, let me fix that for you…”

He tied it with effortless elegance whereas Caleb had been struggling with it for what felt like an hour. And as soon as it was done, he leaned forward and kissed him, just softly, just swiftly, on the cheek.

“We should head down there, don’t want to be late…” the tiefling whirled away carelessly to give himself a last check in the mirror.

Leaving his husband standing rooted to the floor, his cheek burning where the kiss had landed, mouth slightly open. As another spell infused rocket whistled and exploded over in the distance, Caleb felt much the same sensation in his chest.

The elaborate decorations that had arched overhead when they’d entered the ballroom, the canopy of the traditional blue roses that ridged the ceiling like the spine of a creature hunched over in slumber, the scented candles drifting atop levitation spells that moved though the room like lily pads on an invisible pond, the behemoth of a crystal chandelier that hung over the heads of the guests, it was all starting to look rather sinister as the evening wore on and the light of the sunset dimmed. Everything seemed to have an edge to it, the sharp lances of crystal lengthened and became more pointed, like teeth and the elaborate dress of the guests looked pale and washed out, greying, ghost like. Empty glasses lay abandoned on tables or the windowsills, on their sides or lopsided, as tipsy as the guests who’d drained them. The laughs were growing more strained, the conversations thinner as the night grew older and the alcohol was drunk more liberally.

Caleb was more than ready to retire and head up to bed. Maybe the fireworks would still be going on and he and Mollymauk could watch them from the comfort of their blankets. He’d made his limp circuits of the room, standing the fringes of conversations, nodding and making noises of agreement. He’d introduced himself to all the people who he knew would be expecting it, gave rehearsed, pleasant answers to many questions about his wedding and more enthusiastic ones to the few about his work. Though of course the other lords and ladies had the standard response of looking slightly alarmed as Caleb launched into descriptions of his studies into crystal refraction to amplify magical traces and then pointedly not ask him any more about that or make their excuses and offload their conversation on whoever was standing nearby that they didn’t like all that much. He’d done everything that was expected of him and now he was eager to flee.

He looked around and managed to find Mollymauk, over the other side of the room, holding a conversation with several other people who looked incredibly important, looking as at ease with them as could be. The kiss came back into his mind as he weaved through the crowd towards him. It was a little distressing that one brief second was commandeering his mind so completely, making his face feel hot and his feet want to fidget and his heartbeat pick up. Caleb shoved it out as mind as best he could as he eventually gravitated to his husband’s side.

“Hello, love,” Molly beamed at him as soon as his red eyes settled on him. They were always a little more demonstrative in public, keeping up the image as it were. But then again, Mollymauk did give pretty much everyone he met a pet name.

“Ready to go?” Caleb asked quietly, hopefully, giving him a tired smile.

He got a flash of an exaggeratedly relieved look in response and a squeeze of his hand, a silent pledge that he’d be ready in five minutes.

“You’ve met my husband, haven’t you…” Molly continued the conversation smoothly, making Caleb feel part of it the way no one else had all night. He was so much better at this than his husband, at talking to these people and blending in, acting like one of them.

Caleb felt a little awful thinking it but he could see why so many people who met his husband assumed he was just another privileged little lordling with more money than personality, who’d never had to develop beyond the surface level because his title would open every single door he ever encountered. He could see why they only saw the easy, airy party boy in him, why they loved to swap gossip about his extravagant orgies. It was only after spending time with Mollymauk that it became clear how much of it was simply an act. More clever than any of these people put together, he very deliberately managed the façade of the archetypal young lord while keeping all of his true self, his wit and kindness and perceptiveness, hidden away where they couldn’t reach it.

But Caleb was allowed in. And he was slowly starting to realise just how much he appreciated it.

The older woman was talking now, something about the opera house she’d founded back in her own city of Bladegarden that actually sounded quite interesting, maybe he and Mollymauk could go…

“…utterly ridiculous, the fact that they even let such a creature through the gates is a disgrace. I mean, not only does he frequent whores, he dresses like one too…”

Caleb went very stiff and very still. The voice came from somewhere behind them, no doubt meant to be a conspiratorial whisper though swelled with drink and slurred, but the words and the tone of derision was unmistakeable.

Another voice, though the spite and the wine in it was twin to the first, “…made a freak show out of the institution of marriage. That sort of thing might be acceptable on the Menagerie Coast but we’re a little more civilised here…”

“…should never have allowed it, I have no idea what the Grand Mage is thinking. How are they supposed to produce an heir, what’s even the point? An utter farce. Widogast must be ashamed to even leave his room…”

“Prancing, preening little thing. Half the lords will be laughing in their cups at us, having someone like that around…”

“…they’re all descended from demons, that lot, they can’t be trusted. We’ve let a devil into our midst and invited him to infect us as he pleases with his deviant behaviour. The empire will crumble within the year, just you wait…”

The hand in Caleb’s disappeared suddenly, yanked away before he could even try and hold on.

“Please excuse me, my lady,” Molly’s voice was flat and stony cold, killing off any hope Caleb had clung to that he hadn’t heard the voices. Quick as he’d ever seen him move, the tiefling turned and ducked into the crowd, disappearing into the press.

Caleb swallowed back a cry of his name, mumbling his own hasty apologies and making to follow his husband. Though before he did, he whirled to find the sources of the two voices. He wasn’t surprised to see them, two of the other archmages, two who had wanted to cancel the betrothal as soon as they realised they’d sent another man, two who had opposed Caleb’s appointment to the council in the first place, two who raised their hands to vote against any measure Caleb proposed before he was even finished speaking.

Caleb narrowed his eyes and exhaled sharply, muttering a word as he did, walking away as soon as he saw a faint pule of light emanate from the glasses the two men held. No one seemed to notice.

Just as he reached the door he assumed Mollymauk had fled through, there was a sudden horrified shout from the crowd and a sickening, strangled noise, accompanied by a wet slapping sound as two of the archmages, for seemingly no reason at all, suddenly found their tongues lengthening grotesquely and springing from their mouths to roll across the marbled floor like a grisly carpet. All after just a sip of their drinks.

Caleb allowed himself a small smirk before he left the ballroom.

***

“Caleb? My love?”

The wizard started a little, he hadn’t even heard the door open. That happened a lot when he got so engrossed in his work that everything else seemed to fade away to an easily ignored static in the back of his mind. Often Frumpkin would jump into his lap while his master was in full flow and scare him so badly that he’d tip backwards right out of his chair.

“Oh, hello,” he turned in his seat to see Mollymauk standing just a little ways behind him, hovering close to his husband’s desk. He’d changed out of the ridiculous traditional robes they’d been given to wear for the painting- Caleb had balled his own up as tight as possible and thrown them against the wall- and was now dressed more simply in fawn coloured leggings and a knitted tunic in stripes of warm browns, oranges and greens that Caleb had no doubt he’d made himself.

Molly’s gentle smile only made his husband feel more awkward, like a small child who’d thrown a tantrum and now had to explain himself. Molly had pointedly not approached him since yesterday after they’d sat for that disastrous painting, had only made the lightest conversation over dinner and kept his distance as they’d slept, taking a long, long bath and only coming to bed after Caleb was dozing. It was obvious that he was giving his husband space to cool off and bring up whatever had upset him in his own time, an obviousness that Caleb had ignored, embarrassed and anxious.

Clearly Mollymauk had decided to take matters into his own hands.

“You’ve been working for a long time,” the tiefling raised an eyebrow delicately, “Fancy taking a break? Your friends are all in the parlour?”

Caleb’s eyes drifted to the pile of notes on his desk, the ones he’d made frantically as he’d been carrying out his experiments and now had to decipher and make into a formal report. Even after working all afternoon, he was barely a quarter of the way through.

Almost as if he’d read his mind, Molly sighed, “Please? It’ll only be for a little while, I promise.”

A little taken aback, Caleb tried to think when the last time was that someone had shown so much concern for him. His friends had long since given up on reducing the time he spent scribbling away at his desk or in his lab to a more human friendly level, preferring to just pick up the pieces by having Fjord lift him into bed and Nott tuck the blankets around him and Jester heal his headaches after he would crash out in his chair.

“I mean…yeah, okay,” Caleb finally said, seeing no other available answer. Maybe he did owe Molly a little, after staying so stubbornly clammed up all night. He tried for a smile, “Maybe one game of chess…”

Molly wrinkled his nose and groaned. Caleb had been trying to teach him chess for a week or so, the game not being very popular on the coast, and the tiefling had quickly developed a vendetta against it, refusing to call anything a game if it involved this much thinking and remembering facts.

“Or maybe you could finally make good on your promise to teach me your best drinking games in return?” Caleb smiled, nudging his husband playfully as he got up and shook some feeling back into his legs.

His husband laughed, “Oh, all in good time. But I have something else to show you tonight.”

Caleb blinked in surprise as he walked into the small parlour in his apartments, where they often spent their free time in between Fjord and Beau’s patrols and Jester’s stints in the healer’s house and Nott clearing away whatever messes she’d manage to make in the lab trying to find inventive ways to cook up her acids. His friends were flopped over the furniture as they always were, across the comfortable old chairs of cracked leather and overflowing stuffing that Caleb had picked up from antique shops in the city and handmade blankets Jester had provided a long time ago during her macramé phase.

But there was a large blanket covering something tall and rather square in the middle of the room.

“Is…is this that intervention about the amount of coffee I drink you’ve been threatening me with?” Caleb felt rather lost, every pair of eyes in the room suddenly on him.

“No, no,” Mollymauk came up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “As necessary as that sounds, that’s not it. I asked your lovely Jester to made a few…amendments to our portrait. So it better reflects you and me. Jester, if you would, my love?”

“Oh…” Caleb murmurs softly, looking over just as Jester swept the cloth away with a bright trilling ‘tad dah’ and her usual sunny fanfare.

He’d known what a talented artist his good friend was. But he hadn’t realised that she had enough skill to actually make him look beautiful.

Instead of a stiff, unnatural pose on awkward furniture, the two of them were sat on the sofas of the room they were currently stood in, perfect paint recreations that somehow managed to capture exactly how comfortable they were, how the smooth old leather felt underneath his hands, even how they smelt of must and home. There was a fire roaring in one corner, so real it almost seemed to flicker as he gazed at it, bathing the two of them in light, as well as the bookcase behind them, all the titles even done in minute calligraphy. The painted Molly looked as relaxed and confident as he always did in real life, every single inch of his beautiful tattoos lovingly recreated, as well as the perpetual kindness in the smiles he gave his friends.

And Caleb would himself looking at a much more comfortable, much more content version of himself. In his own clothes, his old motheaten brown jumper and patched trousers, with Frumpkin wound around his neck and his hair tied back in a leather thong. His smile was small but comfortable and didn’t look out of place on his face at all, the way smiles often did. His shoulders slumped, relaxed, his eyes were bright and alive and confident in a quiet sort of way.

And his hand rested lightly on top of Mollymauk’s.

Unsurprisingly, Caleb felt tears slide down his face and the wind rush out of his lungs as Jester threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. He returned the embrace as fiercely as he could, trying to show the gratitude he knew he’d never be able to fully express in words. As the painting shattered into colourful fractals before his streaming eyes, he realised what he saw on that canvas, just what Jester and Molly had been able to show him, why it made his chest feel so warm.

Caleb didn’t see himself as he was now. Instead he saw a future. A warm, safe, happy future with his friends and his new husband. It was the first time he’d been able to see that maybe everything was actually going to turn out okay for him.

After deciding that the inaugural hanging of the painting required some drinks to celebrate, the friends trouped out towards the palace’s cellars. But just before they joined them, Caleb reached out and tapped Molly on the shoulder, keeping him back for a moment in the fresh silence.

“Mollymauk, I…” the words caught in his throat, the tears still in his eyes. Caleb cried so infrequently, it was always a while before he could stop once he got going, “I just…I can’t thank you enough.”

The tiefling shook his head, reaching out and gripping Caleb’s arms reassuringly, “No thanks necessary, darling. What they did with the first one…it was disgusting.” A flicker of anger crossed his face, like a bitter taste had entered his mouth, “The way they treat you is just disgusting.”

There it was again, the unfamiliar and dizzying feeling of someone else caring about him. Maybe he was going to have to start getting used to that.

“I mean…it’s okay, I’m used to it. It’s always been like this…”

“But not anymore,” Mollymauk smiled defiantly, “As long as I’m here, you have someone in your corner. Got that, Caleb?”

“Yeah,” the wizard smiled, eyes meeting his husband’s, “I got that.”

***

Mollymauk hadn’t gone far. He didn’t know the layout of the palace very well just yet and Caleb imagined he didn’t want to get lost.

The guests had been handing their coats and furs off carelessly to dutiful servants who’d then hung them up with painstaking care in a nearby closet, thin but deep, disappearing off into shadow and close enough to the ballroom that the music could be heard faintly, the efforts of the flutists and violinists reduced to vague mumblings and the chatter to an indistinct buzz. It was here that Caleb found his husband, slumped to the floor and leaning miserably against a row of coats.

In the low light, the tear tracks on his cheeks were silvered rivers. Caleb felt his stomach lurch; he’d never, ever seen his husband cry. It filled him with disquiet, with grief, with fury, making his hands start to shake where they rested awkwardly on the doorframe.

“Mollymauk?” he made the word an offer, willing to reluctantly withdraw if his husband didn’t want him there. He wasn’t good at comforting others, it just wasn’t in his nature but despite all that, his heart ached to at least try.

“Hey,” the tiefling grunted thickly, eyes gazing up at the ceiling, “Look, I’m sorry if I made a scene…”

“Not at all,” Caleb shook his head quickly. That had been his own doing, “Can I come in?”

Molly gave a shrug of assent, shuffling over so the wizard could slump against the wall and slide down beside him. He still didn’t look at him, eyes staying upturned to the shadows though Caleb was fairly certain that wasn’t what he was truly seeing.

Often, Caleb found the best way to approach a situation was to stay silent. So, unsure of any alternative approach, that’s what he did, simply offering his closeness and the warmth of his body next to Mollymauk’s. No one was more surprised than him when it actually worked.

After a few moments, Molly let out a long sigh and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his dress, “Believe me, I don’t like letting those assholes get to me like this. I’ve had stuff like that said about me so many times and…and I try so hard…”

Caleb reached over and threaded his fingers through Molly’s, face tight and pained with sympathy. Still, he didn’t say anything.

“But…gods, I just feel so homesick,” Molly’s voice broke like glass and fresh tears budded in his eyes, defying his efforts to wipe them away, “I miss the beaches. I miss my friends. I miss the sunsets and my bed and my home. I…I just hate realising that I can’t ever have that back and now I’m here where I’m not even wanted…”

“I want you here, Mollymauk,” Caleb insisted softly, squeezing his fingers, “Please don’t forget that.”

The tiefling managed a shaky smile that looked more like a grimace in the low light, “I know, Caleb, thank you…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be offloading all this on you, when you didn’t want this any more than I did and you’ve been so welcoming.”

Caleb shuffled closer, feeling the silk of Molly’s train whisper under his knees, now close enough that he could smell his perfume and hear his raspy breathing, “No…I didn’t want this, Molly, but you’ve…you’ve actually made it the best thing that’s ever happened to me here?”

Molly’s red eyes, shining and shimmering until they looked like dancing candleflames, turned to Caleb, surprised, “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Caleb grinned crookedly as he realised just how true it was, “It’s so strange, I feel as though I know you better and you understand me better than people I’ve known for years. I feel safe around you. I feel…happy. And I know those others might not want you here but I do, I love everything about you that they’re scared of. Cos that’s all it is, Molly, you tear down all the ridiculous ideas they have and show them the things they want to believe aren’t true so they decide they hate you when really…they’re scared of you.”

“Little old me, huh?” Molly chuckled, thickly.

“Exactly!” Caleb nodded, “And…no matter what they think, as long as I’m here…you’ve got someone in your corner. Got it?”

This time his smile was sure and genuine and his fingers clasped Caleb’s in return, “I got it. Thank you, my love.”

“Believe me, Molly, the pleasure is all mine,” Caleb breathed a soft sigh of relief to see that smile return, “I’d say we’re done with the festivities tonight. Shall we steal a bottle of champagne, go upstairs and read and watch the fireworks? I think they’re still going on…”

The tiefling smiled and rose to his feet, a little shaky but he had Caleb to cling to, clearly having no intention of letting go of his arm, “I’d like that very much, Caleb.”

Mollymauk looked surprised at the commotion coming from the ballroom as they passed it on their way to the stairs , his ears pricking up, “What on earth is going on in there?”

“I have no idea,” Caleb shrugged.

#betrothal au #fic #critical role fic #cr campaign 2 #wildemount campaign #widomauk #cr caleb #cr mollymauk #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #jester lavorre #fjord #yasha #beau #nott #frumpkin

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halforcpaladin · 6 years ago

Text

we are at a tavern

[a beau/yasha fic from yashas POV]

We are at a tavern. The lights from the candles lining the wall are warm and dim, and the people are mostly hidden in shadows. I am not comfortable here. The music is loud and the people are talking over each other and I feel large, like there is not enough space for me. I am happier when we sleep outside. I like the quiet and complex sounds animals make when the sun goes down.

Taverns seemed easier when Molly was here.

Jester is leaned over the table and her eyes are lit up by flashes of candlelight as she grins at Caleb. I don’t catch what she says, but I see Caleb press his lips together in both a grimace and a smile. One of the rings around Jester’s horn is shining, like she just recently polished it.

I look away.

Beau is next to me and she is talking to Fjord. She says, “I’ll bet you anything.”

Fjord says, “I’m not putting a bet on that, Beau.” I take the clay mug full of warm ale in front of me off of the table and bring it to my lips as I watch Beau. When she speaks, her jaw tightens. Everything about her is lean and taut. I can tell she is almost always tense, her back muscles drawn together and her hand is clenched in a fist. This is Beau’s natural state: defensive. Ready. I swallow some of my drink and it tastes like wheat.

I look up at her face again and she’s looking at me. Her eyes are really blue. “Yasha?” She says.

“Yes, Beau?” I answer.

“You’re staring at me.”

I tilt my head. “It’s just--you just have something--” I gesture at the side of my mouth in a brushing motion. Beau goes to wipe her face with the back of her hand but she’s missing it, I think it’s a bit of sauce, and I reach for her face without thinking and my thumb touches her lip and then her cheek and I rub it away.

Her eyes are open wide when she says, “Um. Thanks, Yasha.” She looks at the table.

Fjord is watching us from across the table. I notice that Caduceus is now looking, too. He makes me uneasy because I’m not sure how to talk to him. I’m afraid that he might say something I won’t have a response for.

Beau slips away from the table, swinging her legs over the bench we sat on together with an ease I admire.

Caduceus is leaning forward with his head resting in his palm and his pink hair lies in front of his face, covering one of his eyes. “Interesting.” I meet his eyes for a second and he doesn’t blink.

I turn and watch Beau as she weaves through the crowd towards the back of the room, where a bartender is pouring drinks from casks.

“Beau was just tryin’ to get me to bet her she could sleep with the bartender tonight.” Fjord says. “I told her that was a foolish idea, but looks like she’s goin’ for it.” His voice has a little smile in it like he’s amused but I don’t really feel amused.

I sit up a little straighter and feel my brows furrow. Generally, I find Beau amusing, but I feel annoyance right now. I’m annoyed with her.

Caduceus leans in closer and says, “Does that bother you, Yasha?”

Fjord laughs and says, “Why would that bother Yasha? She knows how Beau is.”

I look away from them, down the table at the rest of the group, hoping one of them might change the subject. Nott is laughing with her flask in hand and her mask is resting against her chest. Jester is gesturing wildly and Caleb has a small smile. None of them are paying attention to us.

I clear my throat and look back at Fjord and Caduceus. “No, I’m definitely not bothered.” I get up from the bench. “Excuse me, I, um, I have a headache and I need to go to bed.” The music had paused but now it is picking back up and a woman is singing.

In the dark town of Shady Grove on a Monday eve--

I walk away from the table and move through the crowd. People move aside for me when they see me coming. I try not to look at Beau when I walk past her to the staircase at the back of the tavern, but I see her in my peripheral. She’s leaning against the bar. I keep walking and now I’m going up the stairs and I can’t see her anymore.

I met a fair maid as lovely as you’d believe--

The hallway at the top of the stairs is well lit by torches and it’s brighter than below. There are numbers painted on the doors. I realize that Jester has the keys for our rooms tonight.

She wore no jewels and her eyes were bright--

I don’t want to go back downstairs so I keep walking down the hallway. The din of laughter and conversation fades as I walk, though it never quite dies. There is a door at the very end of the hallway and I try the handle, hoping it might lead outside. It opens, and there is a small deck with a staircase beyond it.

Her hair as black as a moonless night--

I go outside. The air is very cold and there are trees hanging over a path behind the tavern. A light wind blows through and the leaves rustle, sounding a little like the waves on the beach in Nicodranas. I shiver. I start to relax. I lean against the railing. Light escapes from the tavern windows beneath me, giving the plants beneath the trees a warm glow, like they are props on a stage.

It did bother me that Beau left to go chat with the bartender. I’m sure Caduceus knew that, but Fjord is like me. Clueless.

I miss Molly. I’m almost never not missing Molly, but right now I wish I could talk to him. “What would you say?” I ask the trees.

I picture him standing next to me, leaning over the railing. He has a wicked grin. “You don’t really like that bratty girl, right?” I speak for him, and I can almost remember how his mouth moved when he talked, how his lower lip got stuck behind his fangs on hard syllables.

I feel my mouth turn down and my eyes get hot for a second. “You don’t know, Molly. She’s changed. Everything has changed so much since you’ve been gone.”

His ghost disappears because I can’t picture him here anymore. He could have grown with us. I don’t know what type of person he could have become, and this is what really strikes my heart. He is frozen in time, in the dirt, and he does not get to redeem or create or learn anymore.

It is unfair.

I look up at the stars and let the air cool my head. I take a deep breath and let out a stammering exhale.

There is something specifically about Beauregard that makes me want to be around her. I like when she laughs and I like when she tries to look tough. I like the color of her eyes when we fight together. I don’t know when it was that I started to like those things about her, but it was after Molly. After Darktow.

I hear footsteps behind me and I instinctively place my hand on the hilt of my dagger, the one Caleb gave to me (“For the next time you give me a shave”).

I turn and it’s Beau. She’s holding a key in her fingers and holding it out to me. Her face is covered in shadow so I can’t make out her expression. “Jester said to take this to you.”

I reach for it. “Well… thank you,” I say. “How--how’s it going in there?”

“Nott got up on the table and started shouting, so I’d say business as usual.”

I smile. “I meant with the bartender.”

She sort of shrugs and looks at the ground. “Good, actually.”

“Hm.” I tuck the key away and fold my arms across my chest.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Really? Nothing?” She says, and she’s looking me in the eyes now. I can tell because a little bit of starlight is reflecting off of her brown skin. “Fine.”

For a moment I’m not sure what to say. Something is starting to click into place. “Are you angry with me, Beau?”

She throws her hands up in an exaggerated motion. “Maybe I am!”

I open my mouth to say something and then I stop. “Oh,” is all I can think to reply.

Beau makes a low, rumbling noise and steps towards me. “I’m tired of this. Look, Yasha, do you want me or not?”

“I do.” I surprise us both when I say it. My words come out in a little white cloud when they hit the cold air. “I want you.” It feels like a little wind has picked up inside my chest. The truth of it is making my skin buzz and I look away from Beau. “But I can’t--”

She places her hand on my cheek and it’s so warm I flinch a little, and then her lips are pressed against mine. It’s too much and not enough all at once and I think about pulling away but then I start to feel like I do when a fight starts.

I hear a crack of thunder in the distance and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.

I put my hand on her face and I’m kissing her back, pulling her towards me. I push her inside and against the wall of the hallway. Beau pulls her face away and says, “I want you, too.” She’s grinning. I’m grinning. Her body feels loose in my arms.

I lean over her and kiss her. It feels like relief.

#beauyasha #yasha #beau #critical role #beauregard #fanfic #sorry it mentions molly and its sad #but its nice too #i wanted to know what it would be like to write from yasha's voice and turns out its fun and sexy #george tm

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