#cackling like the gremlin witch i am

[hermioneismyrealname]

I say I read and write Tom x Jerry fanfic ON TUMBLR

And everyone is like, "yeah, makes sense" and move on.

I say I read and write Tom and Jerry fanfic on INSTAGRAM

AND SUDDENLY EVERYONE WANTS TO REPORT ME TO THE POLICE!

*CACKLING* AS IF I HAVENT BEEN ON THEIR WATCHLIST FOR YEARS!

I can just imagine one of the people who follow me, the ones who only recently got to know me, get completely horrified and call up the popo and be like "SHE READS SOME WILD SHIT! SHE JUST ADMITTED IT! SHE NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP"

the police officer sighs and goes, "the one with the Harry Potter name with the insane look in her eyes everytime you mention potatoes and or broccoli? The one that looks innocent at school but is complete edgy punk with chains and may be concealing a weapon when going to the malls to intimidate everyone so she dosnt have to talk to anyone? The one who seems to know way too much about how to hide a body? The one who drinks way too much tea and coffee?"

"YEAH YES YEAH HER! SHE'S INSANE! YOU HAVE TO--

"Yeah, yeah. We know. Get used to it. The psych wards won't take her." The police officer hangs up, sighs and pulls up the tally score on my name for all the Google searches I've made.

Current count: Not enough to arrest.

[mrs-weasley-reid]

AUGUST REC FICS

Hello, my sweets!! Here I am, once again, for yet another month of reading and living vicariously through our one and only Reader. I haven't read much this past month, and most of these sweet authors are people I follow (and shockingly, some are my mutuals, too !!! I'm too much of a fangirl to believe it's true). Give these gorgeous, spectacular writers a ton of love. They all deserve it so much, considering they're blessing us with such amazing work for free. Like. Comment. Reblog. The equivalent of a five-star review

Like always, I will be going based on what I've read recently and not by the date the fic was posted. Reminder to please respect these writers. Some contents are 18+. MINORS should not be interacting in any way.

— ✿ — ✿ ✿ — ✿ ✿ ✿

Spencer Reid

✿ a muted shade of green by @dalamjisung ↳ the flow of this fic was so smooth my jaw dropped down on the floor as i read through (writer's first reid fic, and it was chef's kiss)

✿ hearts aligned by @raekensluver ↳ OMG this one had me melting. roommate spencer is such a dream

✿ sick love by @misserabella ↳ guilty pleasure unlocked. a wonderful reading session filled with interesting discoveries

✿ behind closed doors by @incognit0slut ↳ i loved binging this so much !!! was a giggling, kicking mess while reading this one; and it has four parts ! we're so spoiled

✿ kiss it better by @nereidprinc3ss ↳ tmi but was having an episode of mild anxiety attack, and this saved me in the middle of the night, giggling myself to sleep, so thank you for such amazing work x

✿ dead of night & nightvisions by @cxrrodedcoffin ↳ lol i read this at work and had to fight battles not to make any facial signs that i was consuming kinky content. the second part was another level, i was cackling like a witch

✿ much ado about nothing: act iii, scene v & act iv, scene i by @incognit0slut ↳ act iii, scene v left me speechless, reader didn't fold and i took that as a win. act iv, scene i played with my emotions lol

✿ just a number by @reidsdaisies ↳ i became a stand-up actress while reading this because it's overwhelmingly spicy and filled with tension i had to provide comedic relief for myself

✿ untittled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ no because i saw my reblog post of this and i immediately snorted and then laughed some more after rereading it. pipe cleaner will never not be funny to me

✿ poison me, i'm fine by @gghostwriter ↳ no because this one needs more attention ?????????????? i loved reading this so much i was so tempted to pull my heart out and ship it to pau, show how crumpled it was after reading

✿ my best colors for your portrait & my face in every place by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i wasn't lying when i said august is for angst and i immediately gobbled this up after seeing it. the way my chest was so tight but also smiling because the writing style is amazing got me looking like a lunatic

✿ cute, outraged genius by @lavenderspence ↳ tina got me laughing like a gremlin. it's so adorable she made me fall in love with spencer all over again

✿ another untitled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ sorry, sweethearts, ket just couldn't be bothered with titles lmao. secret lover reader is my favorite lover, sooooo you all will enjoy this cutie patootie creation

✿ one single thread of gold by @gghostwriter ↳ you'll overdose of sweetness. it's so adorable and a great way to feel giggly about spencer reid.

✿ for the fear of falling apart | part one by @pathologicalreid ↳ i haven't read the rest of the parts but mhmmm this was DELISH. well-written creation that made me show emotions while reading at work. my coworkers asked me my my eyes were so wide and i think that says a lot at how great this is

✿ second to none by @raekensluver ↳ ooooo this one got my blood boiling in a good way

✿ untitled work by @sincerelybubbles ↳ adorable stuff make me melt especially when it's a spencer one

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Aaron Hotchner

✦ darling, in any life series by @hotchfiles ↳ at this point are we even surprise im including yet another series form lari here ? anywayyy, i love me some old flame trope

✦ picket fence dream by @hotchfiles ↳ this is a new part from the choiceless hope series and i gobbled it up. i was screaming when i read this

✦ tells by @ssahotchnerr ↳ first thing i read in the morning, and i sobbed from the overwhelming sweetness

✦ silver by @solardrop ↳ okay but this was so adorable ??? plus im def one of those gals who tried to throw herself on him, maybe even catapult myself

✦ sympathy for the devil by @hotchfiles ↳ nosebleed. spice level is not as high as i make it seem but the writing really got me sweating. just read it, you'll understand what i mean

✦ spending time with you by @lavenderspence ↳ no because TINA CALLED ME OUT WITHOUT CALLING ME OUT. i was slightly offended. the gasp i gasped was so loud asdkfnkg. but it is adorable, go read it pls pls

✦ doctor, love by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i love when reader slaps the character with some reality like a seasoned raw steak.

sorry, not sorry if this post is filled with lari. I reread her works religiously, so here are my favorites from hers truly:

✦ help me hold onto you ↳ oh, this is like crack for me, and i always come crawling back no matter how hard i try to stay sober

✦ half asleep takin' chances ↳ still waiting for future aaron somewhere out there

✦ choices ↳ gonna be honest with everyone this one makes me wanna deck aaron hotchner and then deck reader for folding so easily and also deck myself because im no better than reader

✦ quis ut deus? & daniel 12:1 ↳ my fave series from lari and i will never not reread them over and over and over and over again because i love it so much idk what's the appeal on me but i love it and i want this framed and buried with me even if it's unfinished

I haven't had a lot of time to visit the good ole "for you" feed in a while, so I apologize for missing all the amazing work every writer has put out this month. I will make it up to you, I promise! And if you'd like, you can send me works or mention me so I can read certain creations that you deem noteworthy for the next rec fic month!

love lots, ker x

[multiwreckedmess]

Kinktober Day 9

Prompt: Stuck in Wall Pairing: CampusCrush!Wooyoung x fem!reader WC: 1.8k Summary: Instructions unclear, stuck in the new IKEA Bestå. This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Wooyoung or any Ateez member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. TW/CW Under the Cut!

TW/CW: just so fucking stupid. little bit of ass fixation, slight dry humping, protected sex, really fucking stupid

 “I cannot believe I’m stuck in some cheesy porn script. Oh this sucks. Oh my god this sucks,” you yell.  The assembly instructions for your new television console clearly stated that it was a two person job and yet, you were stubborn and went ahead. Now, almost two hours later, you’ve somehow pretzel’d your way through one of the cubbies with no way out.  “Wooyoung help! Can you hear me, you moron, help! You’re going to go deaf if you keep listening to music that loud you little-SHIT,” a sharp slap to your ass interrupts your tirade. “WOOYOUNG!”  His witch cackle gives him away. Presumably somewhere behind you, your leg kicks blindly back.  “I dropped the screwdriver and now- it’s too heavy I’ll get squished if I knock it over,” you gesture at your predicament.  He cackles again. The cold snap of a camera shutter echoing in your mind.  “Did you just take a picture of my ass?” You practically scream. “Help me or the second I get out of this thing I’m going to end your entire short twink-y life you GREMLIN.”  Sighing, Wooyoung places his phone on the kitchen counter. Appraising what exactly had you helpless in front of him. “You can just go back the way you came?”  “No moron. If it was that easy I would've done it. Now can you please PLEASE pull me?”

 One hand bracing the frame of the console, the other holding your waist Wooyoung pulls. You don’t budge an inch. He huffs, blowing a tendril of hair up and away from his face. You bounce on your tippy toes with frustration, the fat of your ass jiggling alluringly. You don’t even know you’re doing it as he’s chubbing up inside of his sweats.  “Help me out on this would yah?” Wooyoung asks as he readjusts his arm placement. “I”m holding the shelf just focus on pulling back with me, three, two, one, GO!” Both of you tug down, your ass grinding into him, adjusting the height as you push back harder and harder. Still you stay trapped between plywood boards and what’s worse is you can feel him slowly hardening in his loungewear and you don’t hate it.

 You’d had a soft spot for Wooyoung, how could anyone not. Handsome with the right amount of self awareness and unique strange charm. In part you wanted to surprise him with the fully built furniture as a way of impressing him, showing him how sufficient you were, as if singlehandedly setting up the entire apartment would win his heart. Dumb, but crushes make you do dumb things.  “At least your ass looks great like this,” Wooyoung laughs, taking a handful of flesh in his grasp. “God, I never understood how people could be into those cheesy porn plots but… damn. Really is all out there, vulnerable and whatever.”  You stamp your feet, “Wooyoung it isn’t funny.” It wasn’t how you wanted to catch his attention but if it was working who were you to stop it. “What am I gonna do?”  Having had a fondle with one hand his other joins, grabbing the opposite cheek, massaging in large slow circles. “Maybe if you relax a bit,” he trails off. “Take advantage of the situation, meditate…or something.” As if hypnotized by his own languid touches, his hips drift forward to meet your butt. He rests there just leaning into you as blood rushes from his brain to his dick.

 You aren’t doing much better, practically melting in your pants from even this slightest of touches. It was ill advised to move in with him, but you thought that living together would kill the small flame you’d been carrying. Instead the spark had become a full kitchen fire and now it was spreading to the living room. Your head swimming with his suggestion to “take advantage��� of your current predicament. “I’m not very good at meditating, could you help me relax?”  “You know, it’s really convenient that I’m home right now. Right when you’re building this. If I’d gone out you’d really be out of luck.” Wooyoung’s teeth catch his lower lip, fighting back a moan as you adjust yourself, ass rubbing against him in the process. “Here’s the problem. I also need help with something,” he pauses, leaning forward and pressing his bulge into you harder. “I think you know what with.”  “Mhm,” you nearly whine, lips pressed together hard, making a thin line across your strained face.  “It’s sort of your fault, if you think about it. So you should be the one to help me. Take responsibility and all.” He fully settles his clothed bulge between your cheeks, dragging them along his length.  “Yes, really, god yes.  It’s totally my fault,” you capitulate easily, voice tightening as need sinks heavily into your core. “However you want me to take it, I will. Responsibility I mean. Take responsibility. I can take it in whatever way.”

 Wooyoung is ready, just waiting for your word before he drops his waistband to his thighs, a small damp spot already formed in his underwear. Running the length of his shaft along the smooth spandex of your tights gives him goosebumps, a tremor of elation passing through his spine. Tentatively he presses the head into the stretched fabric, watching it dimple and pucker under his microthrusts.  “You can take it however I want you to?” His cheshire smile spread wide across his face, tinting his tone. “Even if it’s just this?”  “Mhm,” you desperately want more than just this. Fingers gripping the slats of wood as he jostles you. A short sad wheeze escapes through your nostrils. Despite your best efforts to tamp down your desire your body betrays you.  Wooyoung laughs again, a short outburst, hand coming down hard on your ass before wrapping you in a hug, as best he can. “You sound so distressed! How will you relax if this is all I give you?” Hand snaking south he presses on your mound, the wet squelch of soaked underwear against his fingers sends another shiver down his spine. “You really want me, don’t you?”  “Fuck Woo, yeah I do.”

 The response of your pussy to the telltale crinkle of foil is almost pavlovian, walls fluttering in anticipation of fullness. Feeling the warmth of Wooyoung’s palm on your lower back you can picture the packet between his lips, tearing it open with one hand, not wanting to be too far from you.  The console rocks as he roughly pulls your leggings just under your ass, just enough to give him access to what matters. Strings of your wetness cling and shine as his fingers slide along your slit.  “I was going to prep you but-” he wiggles two fingers in, your walls sucking him deeper. It’s enough to interrupt his train of thought, his persistent teasing. All he can think about is the comfort of your sex. How inviting it is, how ready you are, how much you must want it. “-fuck that’s hot.”  “Please Woo, please, hurry.” You beg. You don’t need to as he quickly replaces his fingers with his cock. Grabbing the frame of the furniture he pulls you back onto him in one smooth thrust. The fullness twists in your gut, knocking the breath from your lungs. “OH! Shit, you feel-why are you so big?” You sound almost offended as you moan, adjusting to the pressure.  “You don’t know that,” he kneads your lower back, rocking closer. “God I wish I could grab your tits. They’ve always looked so fucking delicious. Just sitting there, taunting me.”  “Grab them later fuck me now.” You groan, swirling your hips on him. The wood of the console keeps you from doing much more than rocking and twerking on him.  “Show me how much you want it.” He demands. “I know you can do it. You set all this up. Show me how much you need me to fuck you.”  Whining you arch your back, wiggling your hips side to side. It barely shifts him within you. He still doesn’t move to fuck you. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you try humping back on him as best you can. Jaw slackening a dry hiccuped sob escapes you. “I’m stuck, you have to. You have to!”

 With a smirk he grabs your waist, tugging back on you to hold you in place. Leaning back and away he rolls his hips, the ridges of your walls dragging along his length. Driven by crazed lust, it isn’t enough to feel how you grip him, he needs to see it. Wooyoung holds the hem of his shirt between his teeth, watching how his abs flex as his bodyline rolls again, your lips tugging with the slow thrust of his cock.  “Woo,” you moan as he slowly fucks you. It’s nice to moan his name aloud for once instead of just in your head. “God damn it Woo. Ssooo good.”  “Hmph,” his response is muted by the cotton shirt. Speeding up little by little.  Your eyes glaze over, mind hazy. Getting fucked by your crush in the living room you shared. Nothing matters except for the insistent drag of his cock against your walls. His hips feel like magic, melting your tension with each stroke. Your leg shakes as your orgasm builds, the entire structure swaying.  Wooyoung’s hands migrate from you to the wood, gripping it and using it as leverage to pound into you harder than before. The ripple of your ass with each percussive slap of his hips has him hypnotized. Lost to the friction of your walls, he thrusts deliriously with abandon, uncaring of the precious nature of the situation. Chasing the delight of your punched out moans and groans.  Core contracting, air is forced from your lungs. The wave of pleasure crashes over you, every muscle bracing as it hits hard. At the same time the console creaks, your top half jolting free. A choked yelp escapes you, unable to warn Wooyoung. The structure crashes forward, fear clamping your walls tightly down on him.  “Shit!” He yelps, eyes wide he spills into the condom unceremoniously. “Fuck!” He continues a steady stream of swear words as he pulls from you, stumbling backwards as you crumple to your knees, panting.  “Can’t believe that worked-”  “I came,” Wooyoung sounds dejected, red and panting. “FUCK! I came so quick.”  Your eyes dart under the sofa, a glimmer of the a loose screw hiding underneath. Looking from Wooyoung to the screw you scoot and reach your arm towards the glimmer, instead grabbing the crossbar of the couch. “Uh…I hate to say it Woo but-”  His eyes twinkle, “you’re stuck? What a dummy, getting stuck twice. I’m going to start thinking you’re doing this on purpose.”

I just love giving Wooyoung the most ridiculous of prompts. He’s fun to write for me.

[amarynthian-chronicles]

Fae Prince Sun, Fae Prince Moon, Fae King Eclipse x Witch Reader

(excerpt from upcoming chapter 5 of Extended Contract)

Warnings: suggestive themes and the usual Fae tomfoolery

“We are running out of vases for me to knock over, Sun.“

“Now, now, practice makes perfect.“

“Yes, I am a professional bulldozer now.“

Sun gave you a gentle tap on the tip of your nose.

“Tut-tut, you sassy darling. I meant for the dancing lesson part, not the damage part. Although, that last crash? Exquisite, definitely recommend it as a new ringtone for your mobile device, it would be an improvement.“

“My dear prince, you may be cute, but not cute enough to get a pass on insulting my taste in music.“

“Permit me to make a retort in a similar manner. Your beauty could place all stars to shame, and you don't get a pass out of this formality either. We will have to open the first dance when we arrive in the Grand Hall, my love.“

“Is this really necessary?“

“Royal etiquette and tradition. Courtly gallantry is of crucial importance. Additionally, one must demonstrate refinement and confidence through their movement, the ability to command attention. You never know what diplomatic affairs or arrangements may be struck in these close encounters where you have to whisper sweet nothings to the other party as you sway them in every sense of the term.“

You blinked at him.

“It's my birthday, Sun. If I want to sit in the corner with a glass of brandy without elaborating anything, then everyone else in the Celestial Court will just have to deal with it.“

He chuckled, tapping the tip of your nose once more. You had half a mind to bite his finger off.

“Admirable attitude, lovely. Completely against court politics, but admirable nonetheless.“

You heard Moon grumble as he was taking care of the shards, waving his hand and letting them disintegrate into blue smoke.

“Clean up, clean up. Since we are already on the topic of practice and perfection, I now officially qualify as a maid.“

You couldn't help but smirk at the lunar Fae.

“Serves you right after laughing at my dancing skills, Moon.“

“Such slanderous words, wishing star. I deny these accusations. I wasn't laughing at your dancing skills, I was laughing at the lack thereof.“

You rolled your eyes and shrugged, turning your gaze back to his twin.

“Sun, your gremlin of a brother does have a point.“

The solar Fae tilted his head in confusion, his sun rays slightly lowering and rising as if they were the ears of a confused puppy.

“He does?“

“We have been practicing this move for the past indeterminate amount of ridiculously long hours and the only thing we accomplished thus far is almost giving Moon a concussion when he fell off the chair cackling like an idiot.“

Moon grinned, shadows moving around him playfully, forming grimaces on the walls as if to accentuate the mirth of their master. As much as he despised the necessity of dealing with broken glass and porcelain, he could not deny that the spectacular disaster he was witnessing was a nice compensation.

“Beautiful witch, your presence makes my soul sing, but do pardon me when I say that if we ever find ourselves in need of getting even with a foe, we will simply send you to dance in their house till you raze it to the ground.“

“I shan't pardon a single thing and you just earned yourself a night of sleeping on the floor, Moon.“

A part of you expected him to retaliate with a wicked trick, but he decided to take a more suave approach, knowing that he could get under your skin in other ways. He extended a shadowy tendril in your direction, allowing it to glide over your cheek and along your neck, making you shudder. Prince Moon knew very well what effect he could have on you, how sensitive you were, both to his touch and his sinfully passionate poetry.

“Divine cruelty, blissful and sweet, flames so tender, my heart eagerly awaits the gentle wrath of fallen stars. I offer my life to my fair beloved, their kisses and their blades equally dear to me. Banishment only stirs the dreams and my arms embrace your form even in the loneliest of dungeons.“

His raspy voice was low and sultry, mesmerizing, worthy of a powerful nocturnal Fae that could enthrall the masses if he so pleased. As he spoke, the shadowy tendril kept caressing your neck and around your collarbone. Desire bloomed in your core, but you did your best to suppress it and get your wits together. Moon was aware of your mental turmoil and he winked at you, grinning,  devious scenarios already playing out in his mind. Wicked man, shameless.

You groaned, flustered and defeated. Like a cranky cat, you tried to swat the dark tendril away, only for it to curl around your wrist.

“Moon, you devil.“

“Your devil, at your service. Command and I shall comply.“

[darksideofthemoonbot]

Tzeentch

This one will be much less heavy than my prior Slaanesh discussion, I promise. So, to start, Tzeentch used to be my lowest ranked of the four main chaos gods. Because he has big "guy who thinks he's the smartest person in the room and makes sure y'all know it" energy. Which I found off-putting.

What I find more interesting about him isn't the "EXACTLY AS PLANNED" theme, but the constant and disruptive change. Wild mutation combined with raw and psychedelic magic is far more curious. It may be rather typical body horror, but I do enjoy a good eye-where-it-shouldn't-be or miscellaneous tentacle.

A lot of my appreciation for Tzeentch has come out of playing Total War: Warhammer 3. Not the specifics of mechanics or anything, but the themes and characters I have now been exposed to; most notably Kairos and Changeling.

Kairos: Transbird

Just putting it out there, those wings are 🏳️‍⚧️ flags. A two headed magic turkey that sees backward and forward through time while dropping absolutely criminal amounts of magic just... honestly sounds like it could be transition goals for people I know.

The Changeling: Doin' It For The Lulz

Less for "I'm so clever" and far more for "oh this'll fuck stuff up" trolling. Impersonation, infiltration, and full scale moving of whole cities. The changeling is almost more a devotee of Eris than Tzeentch.

"This bitch fairest, yeet!" —Eris, probably

So, purely for the comedic potential of screwing everything up, Tzeentch went up in my estimate when I saw the asymmetric trickster in action.

Quotable Quotes (inexact)

"Burn in the fires of change! Scream your hymns to Tzeentch!"

"Horrors are pink, horrors are blue, where once there were one, now there are two!"

The loading screen Tzeentch quotes went hard. And the voices they got for Tzeentch characters are great. Maniacal cackling is evergreen. The sheer deranged glee those who "only serve the changer" are simply delightful. And the horrors rhyme appeals to my witch heart, love a good rhyming couplet.

Dimensional Fuckery (Imperceptible Angles Not Shown)

And in bi colours no less. Oh, and it constantly folds through itself. I love extradimensional screwiness. To cite a real world explanation of say, a 4th physical dimension, I turn to the great sage Carl Segan:

Fun shit!

Samengevat

So in all Tzeentch moved higher in my estimate because I love the brain-bending stuff, the constant fluctuations and changing appeals to my chaos-gremlin heart, and epic trolling of entrenched power. And frankly, I prefer the idea that some of the "playing 5D chess" stuff is actually imperfection on the part of Tzeentch causing (him? them? varies?) to trip over itself. After all, the chaos gods aren't generally held up as perfect beings, so it only makes sense that someone with their hands in so many pies is going to cross contaminate plans inadvertently. That is a feature, not a bug, of the character for me. Otherwise the faction could come off as insufferably smug. And being the god of conspiracies adds some relatability to me, because as I have joked before, I am apparently at least in part red coded:

[legendofmorons]

How to be adopted in ten steps (or less!) - part 1

Pairing: Chain & OC (platonic)

Rating: G

Summary: the chain is lead to a friend of Wild, the woman is not what they expected

Genre: Found family

Warnings: none

-------

The chain isn't sure how exactly they ended up sitting around a fire outside the inn nearest Gerudo town- but it's worth it as the soup the stranger Wild is talking to is eaten.

"So... You're going by Wild now?" The woman asks, leaning against the log beside Wild, her form massive even as she sits with her knees up.

"Yeah, why?"

"It fits. You should know."

Wild laughs at that, punching the woman's shoulder. She's maybe twenty-one, but she's got the same haunted look Wild does when she stares at the fire too long.

"You're worse than me!" Wild fires back.

"I am not. Grandmother would kill me." She laughs, "As bad as you- Wild I am hurt. You are supposed to be my friend."

"Don't start." Wild huffs, "Myrah I have pictures to prove it."

"The fish know what they did." She says firmly, "And you helped. As I recall."

Wild just snickers.

"So... How do you know Wild?" Wind asks, wanting dirt on his brother in arms.

Myrah looks up at Wind, something gentle and bitter flashing in her gaze. "Our fathers were close... And also I helped him as much as I could when he want to defeat Gannon."

"Your fathers- how old are you?" Twilight asks, trying not to gape.

"Nineteen." Myrah says, stretching her arms straight up. "Why, do I look that old?"

"No- just- you know how old Wild is... Right?"

"Of course. He's six months younger than me." Myrah says, as if nothing is amiss and Wild isn't over a century old.

"How-... How long have you been nineteen?" Sky asks.

"A lot longer than anyone wants to be." Myrah grins, "Why, you want stories?"

"Stories?" Four asks, intrigued.

"Stories. I've gathered a lot over the years. You would believe how hard it is to teach my nieces not to be scared of cucoos."

Wild just snickers, "They're worse than me."

"No. They were perfect ladies. You are a dirty gremlin with sticks in his hair."

Wind cackles, always pleased to see any of the chain put in their place.

Twilight and Legend both bite back smiles as Time decides he likes this woman.

"So... You said you're shorter than your people?" Hyrule asks, finding this genuinely hard to believe.

"She is!" Wild grins, sounding happy to talk about it, "Most gerudo women these days are like nine feet tall!"

"These days." She says, "Though I was short then too."

"Not to fun is it?" Wild huffs, shorter than most people in his Hyrule.

"I don't mind." She laughs, "It keeps me humble."

"You need that." Wild smirks, "Seriously guys Myrah is such a confident person it's insane.

"If you live long enough you learn your worth." She shrugs, eyeing Time, "isn't that right?"

Time just nods, not sure he has lived long enough for that. But the woman seems sure.

"Stew is ready, do me a favor and show them the bowls?" Myrah asks, stirring her pot slowly.

Wild nods, leading the boys to a cupboard full of bowls larger than any of them are used to.

The chain all grabs bowls before being served generous servings of the stew.

They all settle about the living room, some in the floor some standing.

Wild sits beside Myrah, leaning against her with his whole weight.

"So... What have you guys even been up to? I'm guessing it's not a fun time."

"No... We're tracking someone... A shadow." Twilight sighs.

"I suppose you'd have to. Shadows hide so easy." She shakes her head, "Well either way you need to keep your strength up."

"We do." Time says, eyeing the stew.

Wild and Wind are both happily eating the stew. Both absolutely loving it.

Hyrule tastes the stew, before making a surprised sound, "This tastes like Wild's healing soup!"

"I taught him some recipes over the years." Myrah says with a half-hearted shrug, "Tell me, heroes, why are you in my time? The shadow isn't here."

"Heroes-" Legend scoffs, "We didn't tell you. How did you know? Are you a witch?! Are you-"

"Calm down. I'm old enough to recognize the demeanor and haunted look of a chosen hero. Am I not?"

Wild just nods along with her, "She seems to know most things. It's easier not to ask how."

The group shares a look, some more willing to trust than others.

"The portal brought us here." Wind says, far more willing to trust than most of the others. He figures there's nine of them, and besides, Wild doesn't trust bad people.

"Portal? Odd... Those shouldn't be happening- though to be fair you all shouldn't be here either... Oh Wild! We should see if your slate picked up anything!"

"Just pictures."

"Pictures? Well that's worth something if I recall. Maybe you all ended up here to rest."

"yeah, because our Hyrule is so restful." Wild rolls his eyes, elbowing the woman beside him harshly.

"It is when you don't lose your races."

"That was once!"

"Ten times, actually. It's not my fault you broke your shield."

"Ugh."

"What does- breaking a shield have to do with- losing a race?" Hyrule asks, already sure the answer is going to be ridiculous.

"Shield surfing, when your shield breaks you get a nasty wipe out. Here look at this!" Myrah grins, turning so they can see a nasty scar on her right shoulder blade, her gerudo armor top showing it off with ease.

"Shield surfing. Really? You got pulled into his shenanigans?" Legend raises a brow.

"Mine?' Wild laughs outright, "Myrah drags me into them."

"It's fifty fifty and you know it!" She defends again, laughing this time.

"You're insane. Aren't you?" Legend accuses.

"Probably. I think it comes with trauma."

"That's how I got so good at sparring." Warriors says, "Trauma doesn't make you insane."

"It can." Myrah smiles softer, sadder again. She seems to be thinking about- someone?- she knows.

"Anyways, we should totally all go dive off Shatter back point! Oooh- and see Riju. You'd like seal surfing. Way safer." Wild says, already seeming to plan their next few days.

"But first, you should all rest. Go make sure you see Cotera heals you up."

"Cotera?" Hyrule echoes.

"Yes, the great fairy nearby. She's a sweetheart."

"We should stock up on faries then." Sky says, a lot less used to faries than the others.

"Yeah, probably so." Twilight agrees.

Myrah just watches, her eyes clouding with something the others either don't see- or recognize to well. She knows something about how this all ends.

After they've all eaten, and the dishes have been washed, the chain minus Wild all go to the inn down in the village. Getting themselves rooms and bathing before the turn in.

Time is left staring up at the ceiling, wondering about what Myrah knows. After his time with the Ocarina and replaying everything over and over... He knows what premonition is and the difference between intuition and knowledge about it.

He can believe she's over a hundred years old, the way she talks- it seems too wistful to genuinely be nineteen.

But she's been kind so far, and she's helped Wild.

So Time will give her space, allow her the time needed to gather thoughts before he confronts her for answers.

But either way- Time is sure this is going to end up with her helping them. Whether physically joining them on their adventure or sending them off with supplies and kind words.

He'll have to talk to Wild in the morning to see if the other knows anything.

.......

Wild is a lot easier to track down then Time expected, the other settled outside Myrah's house hanging laundry to dry.

Myrah is there too- which- odd.

"Wild." Time says, "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Wild says, not bothering to move away from his task.

Time eyes Myrah- she's weeding her flowerbeds, not looking up at either man's voice.

"I think he meant somewhere else." Myrah says as she wipes her hands on her pants before trying again at the pesky weed.

"Oh! Uh sure. Where did you want to talk?"

Time just nods to the other end of the forest, "The shrine nearby is good."

"Okay. Well, come on." Wild says, leading Time away and towards the shrine between them and Kakariko village.

The walk in silence, Time watching the nervous energy around Wild with suspicion.

Wild knows something too.

They stop by the shrine, and Wild turns, eyes roving over Time in appraisal. "You have questions."

"I do. Myrah knows something about all of this. What does she know?" Time asks, not trying to be rude but he needs to know if she's dangerous.

"She won't tell me." Wild says with a sigh, "I asked and all she said was it's a family thing."

"How does her family play into our quest?"

"I'm not sure. But she lived through the time I was- she's old enough to have knowledge I don't..."

"Who is her family? Are they old, or important?"

Wild sighs, bracing himself to revisit past failures.

"She's part of the Gerudo chief family. She never took the title- but she's Riju's aunt for everyone's purposes. She- was Lady Urbosa's niece."

"Was she ever supposed to be chief?"

"yes. But she didn't want to and her cousin and nieces did."

"That still doesn't explain why she looks at us like she knows how we die." Time says evenly.

"I don't know much- but she's always said her family had twilight in their blood. It doesn't mean anything to me... But she said it like it was more than a time of day."

Time stops short- he'd heard enough of Twilight's tale to know that the Twili people are certainly a race. And that it could be that- he doesn't know enough about the race of Twilight's adventures to know powers that could be passed down.

"Well... Is she trust worthy?"

Wild smiles a little at that, "Of course she is."

"I trust your judgement then... But I will be talking to her about this."

"I know. She said she expected as much."

[wildflowerwoodsworld]

Honestly I associate you with well thought out characterizations, and you're not afraid to explore various side ls of different characters (but it's usually wrapped in some level of angst, which is why I also think of a kind of gremlin cackling when I think of you (affectionate))

You put effort into your plots and individual character stories that intertwine, and it shows

I am forever and always a cackling gremlin. I have had multiple people describe my actual laugh as a witch's cackle and I have had multiple people say that their friends have intrdouced me as "the feral gremlin one".

I like trying to figure out what makes a character tick, and once I've got that then it's actually surprisingly easy to figure out what it would take to turn them one way or another.

All the different plots loops back to me having too many ideas for one person to contain.

[carli-meows]

Love rap for that bitch out there

get me a bitch with zero tits, or saggy tits, crows feet

and hair so old and raggedy it's not a brush it's a sweep

a bitch that's tons of fun on all sides, more love i can handle

i want a bitch whose favourite scent is an extinguished candle

i need a bitch who giggles like a gremlin sippin water at night

a bitch who can cackle like a witch brewin incantations for fright

i need a bitch whos always barking up and tearing down trees

i need a bitch who'll meow, bunt, purr and always glomps me

i need a bitch who's main budget surrounds takeout or delivery

a bitch who always sleeps but has room in her dream for me

a bitch with voice cracks, stimms, and ticks out the wazoo

a juggalo bitch down to smoke with me, and my homies too

a bitch who's always itchin to hang out and vibe with me

a bitch who's always itchin for bitchin and wanna rant at me

a bitch who's always itchin and scratchin, my ashy Shangri-la

a bitch like me fat sweaty n weird with hella eczema

i want a bitch whos off put with what i like like "ew"

a bitch a bit repulsed that they might like it too

a bitch that scares me a little bit too much

a clingy bitch that always wants a bite of my lunch

a bitch that can calls it exactly how they sees it

a bitch that hears a squeaky toy n tail wags when i squeeze it

a bitch that goes by davvid, astrid, ricky, or vicky

with 7 plus billon bitches on this earth im not picky

my bitch is probably out there right now writing the same jam

my bitch will probably rhyme this line like sam i am

"with green eggs and ham i bet my bitch used to be a man

ill top that fool and have that bitch screamin YES MA'AM"

kinda weird that you would write that but hey, it's your blog yo

i hope this rhyme is consensual on both side though

through thrown thoughts ive had through writing this rhyme

i hope other motherfuckers in this time got a bitch to find

[inkskinned]

oh, i love the way relationships develop their own personal language of love. when all that joy shows the way they love you. i love when it is a little icon to who they are, to how you get along with them.

my sister takes a picture of a dead bug and sends it to me - this is you. my friend asks me how the move is going; she put a reminder in her phone to check up on me. i put a piece of ice down my friend's back, he returns the favor by holding my phone over my head and making me jump to catch it. jason and i scream-sing green day while going all of 15 miles an hour down country roads. molly is who i go to for a quiet night in with 5 dollar wine.

i go out for dinner with them and have to step outside to take a phone call; when i come back they've ordered my favorite appetizer without needing to be asked. andrew and i have a long-standing tradition of him picking me up to spike me directly into the first soft-looking surface around. i don't even need to speak to my best friend - she and i will just look at each other and have an entire conversation. burst out laughing at 3 PM, high and cackling like we're evil witches. i just moved by myself into a new city - my brother keeps introducing me to his friends that now live close to me. he always says - oh yeah, this is sibling and then pretends to ignore me. for days now, my family has been in and out of my apartment, just tinkering with things; making sure i am settling in nicely.

i usually have watermelon instead of cake for my birthday; kim forces a full yankee candle into the rind so i can have something to blow out and wish on. for 20 minutes on a saturday, all us grown adults crawl into one bed to have a cuddle puddle like we're in high school again. every 20 seconds someone starts giggling, and then we're laughing again. nick calls me from california; we both groan about the price of tickets, agonizing. miranda and i meet up in the city for the first time in years - without discussing it beforehand, the minute we lay eyes on each other, we both strike gruesome little gremlin poses instead of waving. dean always goes for the hug. joe always does a single firm handshake. sometimes i think about my friends and get so happy i just start crying.

oh, how wonderful to live in a world where affection is biologically ingrained in us. how wonderful that affection helps us build our single greatest strength - community. how wonderful that affection is our body's way of saying - thing is good, let's keep. how wonderful, this language, this skein we weave! to show the other person - i might not always say it. but i love that you live in me.

[the-broken-truth]

Lady dimitrescu s/o bonding with the daughters?🙍‍♂️

(Ex: giving cassandra fighting/hunting tips)

Broken Truth: A Little Father-Daughter Bonding Time? Let's get writing!

- Bela Dimitrescu -

"Here, Bela." A deep voice called out as a buff hand held out a white hard-cover book with the title 'Creatures of Greek Mythology. Bela looked up from the book she was reading, locking eyes with the only male of Castle Dimitrescu that wasn't turned into wine or dinner - [Y/N] [L/N], Husband of Alcina Dimitrescu & Step-Father of the Dimitrescu Sisters.

"What's this, Father?" Bela asked as she placed her bookmark in her place before closing the book in her lap and took the book from her step-father's hands and looked at it closely.

"I noticed that you are fond of books that regarded Ancient Civilizations & Unknown Creatures. This is a book I've had since I was a child living in Greece (The Reader is Greek in this case)." The man exhaled as he took a seat in the chair beside the blonde-haired girl.

"Your book?" Bela looked at the book again before looking at her step-father. "Then this must be important to you, Father. Why would you give me this?" Shee asked.

"My mother told me that I would have a family of my own someday and I would want to give them my most prized possession - that book was the last thing my father gave to me before I never saw him again. I have read it more than 1,000 times by now; I'm sure Athena would be annoyed with me if I read it again." He explained.

"Who's Athena?" Bela asked.

"She's the Greek Goddess of Reason, Wisdom, & War." He said.

"DID SOMEONE SAY WAR?!" Cassandra's voice echoed in the room.

"There is no war, Cass!" [Y/N] yelled back.

"But, I heard war!" Cass retorted.

"Then go read a book about war!" the man replied.

"Reading about war!" Cass confirmed.

"She likes war, now." [Y/N] said as he looked back at Bela.

"Wait - If Athena is the Goddess of Reason, why is she also the Goddess of War?" Bela questioned.

"Well, she's not the official Goddess of War - that title belongs to Ares, The God of War. He and Athena kinda have a bit of a... sibling rivalry going around about that since most of Athena Followers see her strategy about war more successful than Ares' - they call her the Goddess of War." [Y/N] explained.

"They're siblings?" Bela's eyebrow rose.

"Half-Siblings: They have the same father but different mothers." The man corrected.

"Who is their father then?" Bela asked.

"That would be the King of all the Gods - Zeus, God of Lightning & King of Olympus." He said.

"Olympus?" Bela questioned.

"The Realm of the Gods." The father said.

"THERE ARE OTHER GODS?!" Bela questioned as the man chuckled to himself.

'This is going to be a long night.'

Sure enough, it was - Bela constantly asked questions with everything her father said, even at the dinner table - she wanted to know more. The man just chuckled as he chewed on his steak while his wife gave him a glare that said...

'What have you done?'

- Cassandra Dimitrescu -

"Whoa! Oph!" Cassandra landed face-first on the floor of her step-father's training room, once again parried against and sent face-first into the ground.

"I've told you once and I'll tell you again, Cass; you can't overthink when in a fight, it gives your opponent time to get you when you're distracted in your thoughts." [Y/N] said as he rolled his wrist, letting it pop before placing it on his hip.

"I don't get how you do it, Papa." Cassandra groaned as she picked herself off the ground and turned to face her father. "You move too fast for me to keep up."

"I move fast because I don't think - I let my body move for me." He said with folded arms.

"What do you mean? Bela told me that the brain controls all movement so how can you move if you don't think about it?" Cassandra asked.

"Have you ever heard of instinct, child?" He asked.

"You mean while those animals?" Cassandra asked.

"Not like that. Allow me to put it like this - has your body ever suddenly stopped, for now, reason just in time for something to almost hit you or you almost trip on something?" The father asked.

"Ummm. Once - Dani got mad a threw a knife but I stopped walking just in time for the knife to hit the wall in front of me." She remembered.

"That's what I am talking about - you were mindlessly walking and your body stopped just in time before the knife hit you. Your body sensed danger and stopped to keep itself from getting hurt." [Y/N] explained.

"So...if I don't think and I'm attacked - my body will react on its own and stop itself from getting hurt?" Cassandra asked.

"Yes. The body knows it needs to be protected and will not let anything hurt it but overthinking can cancel that instinct and you get hurt in the process." He explained.

"Oh...Can we try again?" Cass asked.

"Not tonight, little bug. We can try after breakfast in the morning. Deal?" He said as he rose to his feet.

"Deal, Papa." Cassandra smiled at her father figure - she was happy her mother chose him.

- Daniela Dimitrescu -

"Daddy? What's that in your hand?" Dani asked as she looked over at the small glowing box in her father's hand.

"This? It's my Smartphone." [Y/N] said as he looked up from his phone.

"Smartphone? So, it knows stuff?" The girl asked with a tilt of her head - she looked like a confused red-haired cat. "Well, it does if it's connected to the internet - that's why I got the Wi-Fi Box set up in the study." He said.

"Wi-Fi?"

"It's Wireless Internet."

"What's Internet?"

"The...World Wide Network - you can do almost anything on the internet. You can buy things, watch videos, play games, or whatever you want."

"Can I torture people on it?" Dani asked.

"Well...you could but I don't think you should." Her father said.

"How can I use the internet?" Dani asked.

"You need a piece of Smart Tech - Like a smartphone, a computer, or a smart TV."

"How do I get one?" She asked.

"I'll order some for you and your sisters, I have one for your mother already coming."

A Few Months Later - Dani became the mistress of the internet and then asked her father for a PS4 for her birthday. At night, you can still hear the wild cackling of the witch who devoured the souls of noobs in Call of Duty.

- The Dimitrescu Sisters + Alcina Has Had Enough! -

"Let him go! Father is going to tell me more about Greece!" Bela yelled as she pulled on her father's right arm.

"No! Papa and I are going to train so that I can master my Ultra Instinct!" Cassandra said as she pulled her father's left arm.

"As if! Daddy and I are going to play Call of Duty together! There's a team who wants to go against us and I need Daddy to help me crush their souls!" Dani yanked on her father's foot.

[Y/N]'s teeth locked in pain as he was being pulled apart by his daughters - he was happy they wanted to spend time with him but this was painful.

"That's enough!" He was suddenly yanked upward from them - they all looked up to see their mother with her husband's head buried into her chest.

"Give Father/Papa/Daddy back!" The sisters demanded.

"No! Listen here, you little gremlins, I haven't been able to spend time with my own husband because of you and your hobbies. You can do what you want alone because I have going to have my husband to myself if it's the last thing I do" Alcina said as she marched off with her husband slowly suffocating in her breasts.

[ts-daydream-au-fanartfunart]

Rome didn’t Fall in a Day

I have written a fic that features absolutely 0 of the main characters and answers maybe 2 questions that nobody has actually asked and probably raises many more. You’re welcome. (It’s not required to understand anything unless people send asks about it, just some extra backstory for dadgon witch)

warnings: blood, injury, aggressive animals & animal injury, fighting, fae-style manipulation, mentions of death and illness, lowkey abusive parenting, lots and lots of peril & danger... Poor dadgon witch’s story is just a tragedy. Like, the whole darn thing.

Ao3 link

-

The Old King of Accalia did not want his eldest son to be his successor. The man was confrontational, volatile. He demanded attention and was never satisfied. He would be a great king in war, but Accalia was not at war. He would tear their land apart.

He didn’t want his younger son to be king either. The boy (for truly, he was still a boy, barely 16) was daydreamy, flighty, irresponsible. He would be manipulated, a figurehead, and little more.

But the Old King had no other children. His illness was not getting better, and he would have to choose soon. So he devised a plan.

“A contest?! Have you gone senile too?” The eldest shouted, “I am the rightful heir, you can’t just-”

“I can and will,” the King cut through his son’s protests, calm and decisive, “As I see it, this contest will give Accalia the future King it needs. Right now, I have little faith in either of your abilities to succeed as a good King.”

The youngest’s brows pinched, glancing away. The eldest’s eyes were wild. He turned to his brother, “Tell him this is useless. You don’t seriously want to be King, do you?”

The boy laughed, his favored method of soothing away unease, “I never considered the idea in the first place. Second Son gets the best job, sit around and look pretty.” He kept up his humored look, but his eyes were distant, thoughtful. “What would this contest even entail?”

“Wh- Don’t even entertain the thought!”

“It is a test of Wit, Will, and Strength. Aspects I believe are most important to being a King,” their father explained. He looked directly at the eldest, “You either participate or lose your claim on the throne altogether. This is not a negotiation.”

“Understood,” the eldest growled, glaring at his father, “Am I excused?”

The younger frowned, reaching towards his brother, “Rudilus-”

“Do yourself a favor and shut up for once,” The man whispered harshly.

The young prince winced, looking at his feet.

“You are excused, yes,” the King said, waving off his eldest. Rudilus marched out of the room without a glance back. The younger turned to follow his brother out, head lowered.

“Romulus, stay a moment?”

The boy halted.

“Take this seriously. You have all the capabilities to be a good King, but only if you apply yourself. Do not run from this. It is as much of your birthright as it is your brother’s. I expect you at your best.”

The teen stared. He was usually an animated person (another reason the old King did not take him for a good leader, wearing his heart on his sleeve) but his expression was a careful neutral now. Undecipherable. The old King did not realize the prince could hide his emotions so well. Romulus bowed, curls of hair shadowing his face, “I will, your Majesty…”

“Good. You may take your leave.”

-

Whispers followed the princes in the months surrounding the Contest of the Throne. Words spread like wildfire. News traveled to the edges of the kingdom, and beyond. 

The stadium was packed. Even the fey Courts had sent envoys. A pretty, nearly human creature (a nymph, perhaps?) with branching horns covered in moss perched herself in a booth, as if a noble. A cackling gremlin rode a flea-infested dog into the stadium. Romulus watched the gremlin snicker as it tangled a poor woman’s hair. He checked his braid, confirming to himself it was still secure and undamaged. Several solitary fey flitted around, curious. His brother and father had not acknowledged them, so he assumed most, if not all, the fey had glamoured themselves in some form or another. 

His brother had spoken to him only when absolutely necessary since the announcement of the contest. Romulus glanced at him now; Rudilus’s face a stern neutral, focused. He was still angry. It wasn’t as if Romulus hadn’t considered forfeit many times. But every time he imagined doing so, he saw visions of fire and smelled the coppery tang of blood with such vivid detail. While his father’s words echoed in his mind. “Do not run from this.” He feared the visions- feared his father’s disappointment- more than his brother’s frustration. Rudilus would get over it eventually. He always did.

The King gestured broadly, silencing the crowd. Even frail and pale, the man commanded a presence. “As you all know, we are testing the Princes of Accalia’s skills to determine who shall become the heir to the throne. They shall use their Wit and Strength, and challenge their Will. These skills are the pillars of what makes a good King. A King must be wise, solving the problems of his people with creativity and intellect. He must be determined, decisive, lest he be manipulated by his enemies. He must be strong, and know when to employ that power.” 

The King looked between the two princes, “A labyrinth has been constructed to test these skills. The first one to emerge from the labyrinth with this-” He lifted the flag of the kingdom, the sun and moon symbol glistening in the light of the early morning. “Will emerge the next king of our land. You will be allowed to take two items with you. Choose wisely.” He gestured for the servants to come forward.  A rack of weapons and items was rolled in.

Rudilus stared at the weaponry, “What’s in there that we’ll be in need of weapons?”

“Strength includes combat,” the King said simply.

Rudilus frowned, and picked up a shield, testing its weight on his arm. With a moment of hesitation, Rudilus grabbed the long sword. He twirled the blade, expectantly glancing at his brother. Romulus wandered over, quickly scanning over everything. Compelled by impulse, he plucked the shiniest thing he saw, a mirror that glinted in the sunlight, and a green dancing ribbon. Rudilus snorted at his choices. Even his father, usually stone-faced, quirked an eyebrow.

Romulus nodded decisively, wrapping the ribbon around his hand and arm. He hung the mirror on his belt.

"Ready?" Their father demanded more than asked.

Rudilus gave a sharp nod. 

"As I'll ever be," Romulus muttered.

The King gestured at a servant, abandoning them in the center podium. The wooden floor began pulling away from itself. Underneath, the labyrinth was unveiled. Their father hobbled to a booth that overlooked the entirety of the labyrinth. Romulus glanced at his brother. Rudilus continued to ignore his sibling in favor of scanning the paths as they unfolded underneath.

A bell chimed and the platform they had been left on was pulled back, dropping them into a pool. Romulus yelped in surprise, sputtering on water as he resurfaced. Rudilus recovered slower, struggling to swim with the shield. Romulus sighed a breath of relief when his brother surfaced. He swam forward to the nearest ledge, clambering up. He shook the water off himself. He glanced over the options of passageways. He went right.

Much of it was arbitrary turns influenced only by impulse. Walking endless corridors of rock. He idly wondered what would happen if he never found the way out. Would he be left to die in this labyrinth? Either to whatever creatures they had placed inside for them to fight, or to starvation? He turned left. A dead end. 

Backtracking and turning right, he was presented with a locked door. On the ground, two stones, one engraved with a bridge, and the other, a fence. A piece of paper rested between the tiles on the ground. 

Romulus picked up the paper, reading the neat scrawl of one of his father’s scribes,  “You have the resources to build either a bridge or a fence. Your neighbor has been stealing from your harvest. Harvest has been small, and you can not sustain both you and your neighbor. A fence would hinder your neighbor’s thievery. Across the river is a merchant town. A bridge would bring good trade much faster. Which one do you build? Choose your answer by standing on the appropriate tile.”

He hummed. If the neighbor was simply hungry, and the bridge would bring trade- It would solve both problems. Romulus stepped on the bridge tile, and the mechanism clicked. Romulus opened the door, and it shut behind him. 

A snarling hound lunged at him. Romulus’s heart jumped in this throat. He hit the wall. He unfurled the ribbon, eyes widening at the flash of teeth. He twirled, wrapping the ribbon around the dog’s muzzle. He took in sharp breaths as it writhed. He closed his eyes, magic tingling on his fingertips. Animals were always the easiest creatures to impress concepts to. He whispered soothing words, letting the magic filter the words into whatever impressions the dog understood best. Slowly, it calmed, its struggles dissolving into growls. Romulus heaved a sigh, looking up to the sky for a moment. He released the dog, slowly backing into the corridor. It watched him but did nothing else.

Romulus found and passed several more door puzzles, turning corridor after corridor. The midday sun was beating down on them from above. Painting the world in golden hues. A yell and a grunt of effort punctuated the air. His brother, he assumed. Romulus shivered at the possibility of any encounters with creatures he couldn’t calm. He frowned and kept forward.

He stared forward as the hallway floor in front of him shifted from cobble to smooth tile. The walls had smoothed out as well. He halted at the edge. He tapped a foot against the tile. 

Mechanisms clicked and the row of tiles slid back, revealing a pit. He glanced around. Above him, an overhead beam that once supported the upper floor. He unfurled the ribbon again. He tied his shoe to it as a weight, and after several attempts, it wrapped around the beam. He made a running leap and swung on the ribbon. Rolling forward as the ribbon slipped from the beam. 

He laid on the solid floor for a moment, taking in heaving breaths. Staring at the sun. The crowd above was a roar of sound, indecipherable. He couldn’t tell which one of them they were cheering or booing. He decided he didn’t care. He took in a breath. He put his shoe back on and picked himself up. 

Left. Right. Left. Straight. Right. Right again. He walked until he was knocked off his feet. He was thrown several feet back. He coughed, catching his breath. The creature snorted. Romulus groaned and glanced at the boar. He yelped as it charged again. He rolled out of the way, scrambling to a stand. The sun glinted off the mirror. He glanced at the object, then at the boar. He scrambled to detach it from his belt, directing the reflected light into the creature’s eyes. Blinded, the creature hit the wall, crumbling the corridor. Romulus winced, running down the nearest corridor. 

He took a moment to catch his breath. He looked up. To his left, another door. He groaned. He made his way towards it.

It was different from the others. Inscribed in the door simply was “Once you open this door, you have 10 seconds to decide who to trust, lest the ground give way under you. Choose well.”

He steeled himself and opened the door, running forward. In front of him were 4 statues. A horse, a knight, a weaver, and a noble. Romulus glanced between them all, frowning. Trust? Trust?! His father didn’t trust anyone. That’s why they were here in the first place. Why would he make a puzzle based on trust? His eyes landed on a center pedestal. The same stone as the 4 statues. He rushed forward, and, feeling the ground drop under him, he leaped. His own stomach dropped in the moment of weightlessness. Clinging to the edge of the center pedestal, he heaved panicked breaths, watching the other statues fall with the rest of the floor. He climbed up to the center of the pedestal, a mechanism clicking. A section of the floor raised back up to the door. He closed his eyes for a moment and walked forward. 

The sun had disappeared behind the castle, leaving them in shadow. The room was nearly empty, with the exception of a flag on a pole and a  door across from him. Romulus stared. He felt as if he was floating, not walking, as he reached the flagpole. The fabric was soft in his hands.

He stood there, staring, brushing his fingers over the raised embroidery of the sun and moon symbol. His heart was pounding. A million thoughts at once fought in his head to create coherency and none of them succeeded. 

Metal collided against his head. He collapsed as if he was a puppet cut from its strings, vision spotty. Rudilus stood over him, panting, sword in hand. 

“Rudy-”

“Don’t take it personally,” Rudilus said, “But I need that.”

Romulus swallowed, standing. His throat was so dry. His mouth felt like cotton.

His brother swung his sword towards him. Romulus ducked, stumbling over his own feet. He could feel the whoosh of the blade above his head.  “Are you trying to actually kill me?”

Rudilus seemed to think that question didn’t need to be dignified with a response, pressing forward. Romulus spun, trying to keep the sword in sight. Strangely enchanted by the silver of the weapon. The shield bashed against his face. Blood dripped from his nose over his lip. Copper taste on his tongue. His heart pounded in his ears. Romulus went wide-eyed. He scrambled back, unwrapping the ribbon from his wrist. 

“What’s that gonna do?” His brother scoffed. He slashed forward, cutting the ribbon in half.

He flicked the remainder of the ribbon in his brother’s face, an act of pure spite. All it succeeded in was enraging the man even further. Rudilus made a sort of battle cry and swung the sword wildly, forgoing technique and finesse. It sliced across his jawline, forcing him to scramble backward. He hit the wall, heaving panicked breaths. Each breath felt sharp, fracturing. His chest hurt.

He grabbed the mirror, holding it like a weapon. He danced around his brother, spinning into the center of the room. The sword clashed against the metal frame of the mirror. The mirror fractured on the impact, splitting Romulus’s reflection in two. He pushed back, knocked the sword back, and kicked.

Rudilus took a breath, winded. The brothers kept each other at a distance, matching each other’s movements. Romulus shifted uneasily. Could he run? No. His father would hate it if he ran. He could just hear the old man demanding they finish the fight properly. Rudilus followed his glance towards the doorway, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ha! Are you going to run? That’s just like you. Always running as soon as it gets too hard.”

He frowned, grip on the mirror tightening.

“You’re not fit for the throne if you can’t even face me head on!” Rudilus grinned, but it was sharp, all teeth.

“I don’t want to fight you, Rudy. You’re my brother.”

Rudilus shook his head and his expression hardened again, brows furrowed. “That shouldn’t matter. You’re too soft.” His older brother rushed him. Romulus ducked, kicking his leg out to trip him.

Rudilus barely managed to keep himself steady, and spun back to look at him. Romulus hit him in the face with the back end of the mirror. Romulus’s reflection shattered entirely. A dozen versions of his face stared back at him with panic. The shards fell to the ground. A gruesome gash tore across his brother’s cheek. 

“Lucky hit,” his brother snarled. He swung his sword against Romulus’s leg.

Romulus swore, falling back against the floor. The sword swung down and Romulus shrieked. He gripped the blade’s edge as it dug the tip under his eye. He squeezed his eyes shut. Blood dripped from his palms onto his face, mingling with tears. The fabric of the flag wrapped around his hand grew wet, sticky. He hissed his breaths, straining. With a solid kick to the chest, his brother went tumbling. Swordless. The blade jerked with the motion, slicing up across his eye and eyebrow. His eye stung. His palms were numb. The sword remained in his grasp, blade digging into his hands.

He stumbled to a stand, gripping the hilt of the sword. Rudilus turned, only to be faced by his own blade. Romulus kicked him down again, boot on his chest. His hands shook, grip on the blade wobbly. 

He could see his brother calculating his chances as he stared up at him. His gaze met Romulus’s for a long moment. Rudilus flopped his hands against the cobble. Resigned. “Well?” He asked as if he was waiting for judgment.

Romulus giggled. He couldn’t stop himself. He laughed and it almost sounded like crying. He laughed and it sounded almost like he thought it funny. He must sound deranged. He felt lightheaded. He laughed and tears and blood tasted the same.

Rudilus stared at him. Expression impossibly hardened.

He swallowed, calming himself. He flung the sword as far away from both of them as he could. It clattered on the wall, the sound echoing and reverberating like a bell. 

He opened the door. He barely thought about the soft fabric of the flag wrapped around his hand. He barely thought at all as he climbed up the stairwell. He heard his footsteps echo, unsure if it was his brother following him or the echo off the walls. He winced into the bright light of the sun from the stadium platform. 

He didn’t hear the cheers. He couldn’t properly listen to his father’s speech. He barely registered the royal physician fussing over his hands and face. All he heard was the ringing in his ears. All he felt was the pounding of his heart and head. Rudilus was looking at him. His steely gaze was focused on him the entire time. He was starting to feel like he preferred being ignored.

-

It was well past midnight and the crowd had long since left. Romulus had been pulled back into the castle and his room. When he was finally alone, he ensured his door was locked and climbed out the windowsill. He had only reliably mastered shapeshifting into a wolf thus far. (He would never tell anyone about the experimental shape changes. The ones that left him half covered in scales or with a tail for a week or more. When he had to pretend he was ill to hide it.) He transformed under the cover of darkness and leaped into the night.

It was one of the truest freedoms he had left. The wind in his hair, running through the woods. Listening to the secrets of the age-old trees. His paws stung with each step but he didn’t care. An unusual smell hit his senses. Like wet moss and ash but not. It smelled like… fae.

She looked as if she was waiting for him. The mossy nymph. She was there, just at the edge of the castle grounds, standing in her white dress like the silver moon. She was watching him. She didn’t scream or run. He circled her, hackles raising. Green eyes watched her back, waiting for her to make her move.

“This is a rather rude greeting for one of your neighbors, future King of Accalia,” she said, voice soft like summer rains and foxglove. 

He huffed and shook his transformation off. Human, he stood, taming his hair with a frown. “So you know?”

"It was rather easy to spot the markings of a witch. A pleasure to meet you directly. You may refer to me as Moss. Would you be so kind as to give me your name? I'd be afraid to mix you up with your brother."

"You can call me whatever you like," he said, "I'm not picky."

She quirked an eyebrow and nodded, "Very well... I saw you out there. I didn't expect one of the King's children to use magic."

Romulus shrugged, eyes flickering across her face.

Moss leaned forward, gingerly taking his hands into her own, fingers ghosting over the bandages. "Who taught you?"

"...No one. I taught myself."

Her gaze flickered up to his face, "Really? Does no one know? You poor thing." She moved to unwrap the bandage and he flinched away, frowning.

He gripped his own hang, looking away. "Everyone knows of my father's... suspicion of magic. He would not want his child playing with it."

"You're a strong Witch despite that…” Moss noted. She hummed, “You could be stronger. I could teach you."

"Teach me? Would your court even agree with that?"

"You would be king. You think the court wouldn't want a human king who was connected to them?"

Romulus stared at her. His eyes flickered to the castle, where his brother and his father would be. Then back to her enchanting eyes. "...What would you expect in return?"

The corners of her mouth twisted, like she'd won something already. Like a cat that had caught its prey.

"Only what a country expects of its King."

"A country expects many things..." He took in a breath. An overwhelming amount of things.

"Don't worry too much about it," she soothed, shifting closer. She took his hands again. He didn’t know why he let her. "I see a very promising Witch and a very promising King in you. It shouldn't be too hard to fulfill the expectations."

He stared. “When would I even have time for you to teach me magic? I’m expected to take up my brother’s old role.” He sighed heavily, "I apparently need even more etiquette classes."

The nymph hummed and pressed a smiling kiss to his knuckles. Energy seemed to rush across his hands. Romulus shivered. “At night- instead of your midnight runs, you’d come to me.”

He hesitated, eyeing her hold on his hands. “What did you just do? ...How did you even know- how long have you been watching me?”

She chuckled, “A little boon, an act of good faith.” She unwrapped the bandage on his hand, revealing a scab where a fresh wound should’ve been. “Something you could learn." 

The second question went unaddressed, ignored, but Romulus didn't find himself caring. He traced a finger on the healing injury. "When can I start?”

“We shall begin when the moon is full, little Wolf Witch.”

Romulus frowned, “Amendment to my previous statement. Call me anything but ‘Wolf Witch.”

She laughed, “Only when you provide me with a better option.”

He smirked, "Challenge accepted."

[gffa]

HEY GUESS WHAT I ALSO LEARNED HOW TO DO AND THOUGHT TO SEARCH FOR AND ALSO ISABELLE SUMS UP MY THOUGHTS GASP IT’S PERFECT IN EVERY WAY THE JEDI ORDER FLAG AS MY ISLAND FLAG WHILE I AM WEARING OBI-WAN KENOBI STYLE ROBES? THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT FUCK YEAH. ALSO I WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW I STRAIGHT UP CACKLED LIKE A WITCH AT THIS:

OHHHHH BOY EVERYTHING’S GONNA HAVE THE JEDI ORDER SYMBOL ON IT NOW AND ALSO YES THAT IS THIRTEEN PAGES OF JEDI ROBES I AM GOING TO BE THE ABSOLUTE MOST JEDI GREMLIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN PLAY THIS GAME

[fallingappleshurt]

Swept Away Sheets

YES I KNOW ITS NOVEMBER 22 BUT I WANTED TO DO A HALLOWEEN STORY AND FORGOT

Yeah here it is, I spazzed about this in the fd au server awhile ago and this isn’t that good but like- I’m already late

Wilbur is 13, Tech, 12, Tommy is 10? I don’t know

This AU was created by antarctic bay!! Anxiety is brrrrring so not tagging sorry 

Anyways hope you enjoy!

“And you’re sure you remember the route you’re taking,” Phil asked, grabbing his key off the counter, “I want you guys to be safe, even though you are running around at night without adult supervision.”

“Phil we’ll be fine,” Wilbur insisted as Techno poked at his vampire fangs and Tommy thrashed around, the sheet draped over top of him flapping wildly.

“I don’t wanna be a ghost!”

“That’s on you, you didn’t pick something else before tonight, ran out of time to get a different costume.” Phil said, rolling his eyes.

“The sheet of shame,” Techno teased, pushing Tommy lightly.

“No!”

Wilbur grinned, “Tommy’s in the shame sheet!”

“No!”

Wilbur cackled, “It fits, I’d say you deserve it-”

“No I don’t you guys are just mean!”

“Alright, it’s almost 6:00, I’m going to be late and they guys at the store are already freaking out. You guys need to get to the neighborhood. Call me if anything goes wrong or you need help,” He pointed at Wilbur’s flip phone, “I mean it.”

“We’ll be fine Phil,” Techno said, “There will be other kids out,”

They walked out of their apartment towards a nearby neighborhood, it was a better bet then trying to do it in their apartment building.

The bones on Wilburs skeleton costume started to glow as the sun dipped below the trees. They had merged with a group of other kids, there was another ghost, a witch, a dog, an angel, and someone dressed as a lollipop. They traveled down the street together, the kid dressed as a witch urging them to go faster.

The houses were decorated with fake cobwebs and plastic skeletons, a few people just left a bowl of candy on their porch with a sign; ‘Please take one!’

They all took more then one, Tommy took three.

They had been trick or treating for over an hour as Techno followed Wilbur up to a creepy house with fake gravestones in the front. Wincing slightly as one of the other kids laughed loudly,Techno was growing tired of being around other people.

They knocked on the door and the women who answered cooed over everyone’s costumes and gave them candy. As they were walking back down the driveway something shifted behind a car.

A bloodied Freddie Krueger leapt out at the group, slashing at them with long rusty claws. Techno jumped back and tripped over someone else's feet as the other kids screamed and scattered in different directions, a few of them sprinting down the street.

The masked man cackled as Techno got to his feet, heart pounding, he was indifferent about horror in general but he did not like to be jumpscared.

Wilbur ran up next to him, threw a stick at the masked man, grabbed Techno’s arm and pulled him away.

“What the hell was that?” Techno asked as Wilbur looked frantically up and down the street.

“Hang on, I lost Tommy-”

“You what!” Techno whipped to the side, hoping it was a joke.

“He was right next to me- right next to me! I looked away for a second and now he’s gone!”

“Phil’s gonna kill us!”

“I know I know now help me find him!”

Techno scanned the surroundings, trying to spot Tommy’s dusty sheet but coming up short. “I don’t see him,”

Wilbur swore, “We gotta find him, right now-”

“No shit!”

They rushed up and down the winding neighborhood streets, houses and people started to blur together as Techno searched for a little kid with a sheet over his head. At first he had been more annoyed then worried, mentally grumbling about how Tommy shouldn’t have wandered off but after ten minutes of running around, calling for him, it started to shift more into panic.

What if he had gotten kidnapped or hurt? What if he was really hurt and laying by the side of the road? He could have lost his sheet and then Wilbur and Techno might have missed him-

His thoughts were cut off when he heard;

“Wilbur! Techno! Look!”

Techno skidded to a halt, sneakers sliding against the asphalt, he looked over to see Tommy running up to them, pillowcase crackling and bouncing.

“I found like three houses that give out full size candy bars!”

“Where were you?” Wilbur yelped, throwing his hands out, “Tommy what the fuck!”

“What?”

“Wilbur and I have been looking for you for like 20 minutes!” Techno said, anxiety and adrenaline starting to wear off.

“Oh yeah I saw you guys,” Tommy said nonchalantly.

“You-what, you- you saw us? And didn’t approach us until now?” Wilbur snapped, “Why!”

“Cause you guys were being mean earlier, I am not wearing a shame sheet!”

Techno slapped his forehead, dragging his hand down his face, smudging his glasses in the process.

“I’m going to kill you, you little shit!” Wilbur lunged at Tommy. Techno made no move to stop him.

“I’ll tell Phil you lost me while we were trick or treating!” Tommy shrieked, jumping back.

Techno grabbed the back of Wilbur’s shirt, pulling him back. Wilbur sighed, shoulders slumping slightly. “Okay, I won’t kill you, yet, but you gotta promise not to tell Ph-”

“I’m still gonna tell Phil,” Tommy said, even though his face was covered, Techno could see the shit-eating grin on his face.

“No, you can’t tell Phil, or I’ll tell him that you ran away and didn’t even try to get back to us.” Techno said, “It’s our word against yours.”

“I’ll cry,” Tommy said smugly. He knew Phil would side with him if he cried about being scared and then had his older brothers yell at him.

“Fuck.” Techno turned to Wilbur, looking for some kind of help. Wilbur sighed, “What if we give you picks of our candy when we get home?”

“Half of each,” Tommy stated.

“No! You can’t even eat that much candy!” Wilbur shot back.

“I think I’m being pretty fair,”

“You’re not-”

“Tommy what if you got a 1/3 of each of ours?” Techno cut in, biting his tongue as Tommy considered it. A literal two minutes later Tommy nodded.

“Okay!”

Techno sighed in relief as Wilbur checked the time on his flip phone.

“We still have like 20 minutes before Trick-or-treating ends, we could hit more houses on the way home.”

“Oh! Come with me and I’ll show you the houses with the big candy bars!” Tommy grabbed at Wilbur's sleeve, pulling him down the street, Techno followed, anxiety gone now that they found their brother and ensured that he wasn’t going to snitch, everything was fine.

Then they got home.

Phil was waiting for them, Techno guessed the crisis at the store had been fixed, he was sitting on the couch looking tired.

“Did you guys have fun?” He asked as they pushed open the door. Techno nodded, nudging his shoes off.

“Yeah!” Tommy said, “But Wilbur and Techno lost me halfway-”

Techno whipped around and jumped at Tommy before he could finish his sentence. He pinned him to the floor as Wilbur jammed his hand over his mouth.

“Wait, they what?” Phil asked, sitting up from the couch, going to untangle his brothers. Normally he didn’t bother because it was a semi-normal occurrence but this was different.

“What the hell,” Techno hissed under his breath as Wilbur, unconvincingly, said, “Nothing! He didn’t say anything, he’s just- just really hyped up on candy! That’s all!”

“Uh huh,” Phil walked over, shoved Wilbur away and hooking an arm around Techno’s chest, pulling him off of Tommy.

“Oh you’re strong,” Techno said under his breath as Phil grabbed Tommy and pulled him up.

“They what?” He asked.

“Wilbur and Techno lost me while we were Trick-or-Treating,” Tommy stated simply, ignoring the daggers his older brothers were glaring at him.

Phil turned to Wilbur and Techno, “You lost him?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, well, it was a complicated situation-” Techno started,

“There was a guy with a mask and another kid and-” Wilbur butted in until they were both talking over each other, both dancing around the point.

“You lost your brother?” Phil reiterated slowly.

“Uh, yeah,” Techno looked away nervously, Wilbur scratched the back of his neck nervously.

Phil took a deep breath, putting his face in his hand, “I’m too tired for this, I’ll deal with this in the morning, I’m taking a shower,” He walked down the hall then looked back at them, “But consider yourselves on notice.” Then he disappeared into the bathroom.

The moment the door closed they both pounced back on Tommy, words jumbling together as Tommy laughed.

“You said we had a deal!”

“Why did you tell Phil!”

“I’m gonna kill you you little gremlin, come here!”

They wrestled, Tommy v.s Wilbur and Techno, they pushed and pulled at each other, pulling at clothes and hair before collapsing back on the tile, gasping.

They sat in silence when Tommy asked, “Do I still get 1/3 of your guys’s candy?”

“No!”

[magentasky234]

Gregory Edgeworth Week 2021- Day 7: Edgy

Gregory Lives AU.

Miles gets chased by Wendy Oldbag, and it's up to Gregory to stop the "Edgy-poo" obsessed maniac.

Gregory Edgeworth Week is run by @digitalstowaway!

"Hey son, you did great out there." Gregory congratulated his son.

"Thank you father." Miles smiled, walking out of the courthouse with his father."

"How about we stop off somewhere to get something to eat?" Gregory offered, "My treat."

"Sure. That would be excellent." Miles accepted, "What about Eldoons? They do fantastic noodles there."

"Ah, the classic." Gregory grinned, his mind racing with thoughts of delicious noodles, "Shall we go then?"

Miles nodded excitedly.

"Yes."

As they began to walk towards the car park, they heard a terrible voice that belonged to one dreaded person.

"EDGY-POOOOOO!" the nail-on-chalkboard sounding voice rang out.

"Ngoooh!" Miles exclaimed, "Why is that  dreaded witch Oldbag here?"

"EDGY-POOOOOOO! I SEE YOU!" she called in an ever unpleasant tone, "I'M COMING OVER!"

"RUN." Gregory mouthed.

Miles began to run. Oldbag chased him into and around the car park, with Gregory chasing her from behind, trying to stop her. She was surprisingly agile for her age. After a while, she caught Miles by the scruff of his suit.

"CAUGHT YOU!" she cackled, earning a loud groan from Miles.

"OH EDGY-POO I LOVE YOU!" she squawked, spitting lettuce from her teeth.

"That's enough Ms Oldbag." Gregory spoke forcefully, "Please stop harassing my son."

"BUT I LOVE HIIIIIIIM!" Oldbag whined, screeching like an out of tune violin, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE HAVE!!!!"

Gregory forced Oldbag's hand away from Miles' back and his car keys to Miles.

"Get in the car and lock it." Gregory whispered to Miles, "I'm going to take Miss Oldbag back to the courthouse so we can get away."

Miles nodded, unlocked the car, got in, and locked the door.

"Now Ms Oldbag." Gregory lectured, putting Oldbag's arms behind her back, "You need to come with me."

"IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT A LADY?" she screamed like a banshee, "UNHAND ME AT ONCE!"

"With all due respect Ms Oldbag..." Gregory lectured as he began to walk her forwards, "You were the one who harassed my son, so I'm taking you back to the courthouse so you can cool down and think about what you have done."

"I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!" she yelled like an annoying gremlin, "EDGY-POO LOVES ME!"

"I assure you that he does not love you." he retorted, "You have harassed my son, despite the fact that you're not interested, and you still do this, knowing full well that you're married."

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT?" Oldbag growled with such ferocity that could outdo a thousand lions.

"Miles myself told me." Gregory answered, "He found that out because he had the misfortune of being in several of your cases."

"EDGY-POO LOVES ME!" she shouted like an overgrown toddler, "YOU'RE JUST A HUGE LIAR! OOOH... YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS REALLY ARE DISRESPECTFUL TO YOUR ELDERS!"

Gregory decided to ignore her ear-splitting rambling as they walked the rest of the way to the courthouse.

"I hope you will learn your lesson, Ms Oldbag." he told her off, before sprinting all the way back to the car.

Miles unlocked the car for Gregory and handed the keys back to him once he got in the car. Gregory took a few seconds to breathe before starting the car.

They both could hear "OHH EDGY-POOOOOO! TELL ME WHAT YOUR NASTY FATHER SAID WASN'T TRUE!" in the distance.

"Go, go, go!" Miles hissed at Gregory.

With that, Gregory drove out of the car park and drove as fast as he could within the speed limit to Eldoon's. The car was no match for Oldbag, who had given up once she reached the end of the car park.

Gregory and Miles entered Eldoon's and ordered some noodles. Once the noodles were, they began to eat.

Halfway through the noodles, Gregory spoke up, "I am making you file a restraining order against Ms Oldbag the next time we go to the courthouse."

"Yes, I think that will be for the best of us." Miles agreed.

[smileybokuto]

| Bonus | I.F.L.Y Chapter |

Thanks @koukatsuki for this scenario!!!! This idea was soooo good!! i’m literally witch cackling Hahaha I hope you enjoy it. Not sure if this was the direction you intented but i hope you still enjoy it 🥺

Walking through the hat store was getting nerve racking. While you wondered where your soulmates were. Not surprisingly your phone died a moment after. A thought passed through your head ‘Katsuki is going to kill me.’ The malls speaker started making a humming noise as a familiar voice pierces through your ears. “HEY DUMBASS 1 THOUGH 4 MEET AT THE FUCKING ENTRANCE! AND CHARGE YOUR FUCKING PHONES! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK AND IT’S ONLY MONDAY FOR FUCKS SAKE!” “Um can the owner of this man please come and collect him. He is foaming at the mouth.” You chuckled under your breathe. “Oh dear I wonder who that?” A sweet old lady pipes with an amused look in her eyes. “Oh that’s just my gremlins he escaped from his cave with out a snack apparently,” you sigh with a content smile. “Dear you look like you’re in love.” “Mmm. I am,” You smile. “I should probably get going. I don’t want him to worry too much.” “Have a good day dear.” “Bye.” You waved and went on your way off. Tamaki was wandering the halls of the mall trying to figure out how he could have lost you and Hitoshi. “I’m sure an idiot,” he mumbles to himself. “I hate this I just want a hug.” He stands in a corner and places his head against the wall. “Kitten?” Hitoshi places a hand on his shoulder. “Babe,” You shout wrapping your arms around him. “I was so worried! We need to go Suki’s foaming,” you laugh a little when you say foaming. Hitoshi rolls his eyes. “We can’t take him anywhere,” A satisfied smile graces his lips. Tamaki sighed and hugged you back. “Where did you guys go,” Tamaki sniffles. “Oh my god Tama,” you squeezed him tighter. “Don’t cry I was in the hat store.” “Y/n stops sa-ying the hat st-ore.” Tamaki pouts. “No Tama,” You point to a store that says ‘The hat store’. “ I was at the hat store.” his lips fell to a small o and his head drop to the floor. “You two are so fucking cute,” Dabi hums walking up to you guys. He wraps and arm around Hitoshi and kisses his cheek. “Nice seeing you too.” Hitoshi chimes putting his hand on top oh Dabi’s head. “We should go Katsuki is probably going feral at the entrance.” Walking up to the entrance you were all joking and laugh when Katsuki spotted you guys. “WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG?” He says walking towards you all alarmingly fast. “We found each other,” you smiled hugging the now tamed Katsuki who melted at your touch. “He went from I’m going to burn the world to this is the best hug I’ve received all day. Its adorable.” Dabi teased “Shut up,” Katsuki grumbles and Tamaki joins in the hug. “Where you worried about us?” Hitoshi asks ruffling his hair. “Shut up.” Katsuki says as he pats Tamaki’s head. 

ifly taglist

@stephiecarie @rachelexe @pasteldaze @tarasaoristark @wendytheweeb 

@asia-niicole @yvettethewackybatman @kac-chowsballs @fxirylightsx @je-suis-argent-miel @iambashfulperson @lulu3mon

@lunarianbeams @littlelovebug98 @bcookie20 @stitchattacks

[sootygoggles]

Parent!Paranoia Sanders Sides AU!

No explanation, but I'll probably give the backstory later. For now: memes of Paranoia being an A-class parent and a chaos gremlin. (okay it started as memes but then just ended up as fleshing the AU out)

~~

Paranoia, worried abt his kids: I'm uhhhh gonna go to my room see ya later light sides

Paranoia, sneaking back into the subconscious to check on his now teenaged children: I'm gonna leave duke a r a t that I found and thought looked cool

Duke, waking up the next morning and yelling for 'Nesty bc "HOLY CRAP NESTY LOOK AT THIS RAT ISN'T SHE ADORABLE I WANNA HANG HER ON THE WALL": !!!!!!!!!!

~~

Paranoia gets a habit of sitting on the fridge because his children were wild as kids and sometimes duke comin at you with a knife warrants jumping onto counters

~~

Nesty, who doesnt get paid to deal with duke: I'm raiding dads liquor cabinet it's my due for putting up with this

Paranoia, physically manifesting: put the key to the liquor cabinet D O W N, Honesty

~~

The lights are confused as to why he disappears at random times of the day and night and he just "leave me TF alone before I leave you a goshdarn diddly P R E S E N T while youre sleeping I'm tired"

~~

patton: my child! my dark strange son!!

paranoia, who has children: ,,,,yea ok

~~

Patton ticks him off so he leaves a big halloween decor spider on his bed and nobody sleeps for weeks after that bc pattons too scared to touch it and paranoia maybeperhaps glued it onto his cover

~~

He's like one of those people you know might mean well but ooooooo boy theyre pushin buttons

~~

Paranoia, whos fav animal/insect is spiders and whose children have tarantulas and snakes on the regular: hes not even realistic!! You need to learn to get along with mr sparkles patton!! look at him. he's fluffy!

~~

He has googly eyes and glitter on him at all times of course hes named mr sparkles

~~

paranoia gets to be a little petty. as a treat

~~

Paranoia just carries bags of glitter around and whenever mr sparkles gets duller he takes mr sparkles to the kitchen counter and he dumps glitter on him

Logan and patton are tired of cleaning up bc paranoias just petty enough to make their counters eternally sparkly

~~

"why is there glitter all over the kitchen?"

paranoia, holding mr sparkles: :)

~~

Paranoia, after AA: I hate purple but they dont know that now do they

Paranoia is actually orange the last side is purple lol

~~

Chaos Gremlin dark sides and nobody is surprised bc paranoia raised them

~~

paranoia, going back to see his teen children after acting like a teen all day: what is up, fellow kids

honesty: i am going to lose it

~~

Wrath, coming to yell at them to keep it down: why are you purple I'm purple

Paranoia, cackling bc finally I can get out of this horrible color: *snaps fingers * I'M PARANOIA MOTHERTRUCKERS HAVE FUUUNNNNN I'M GONNA BE MAKING YOUR LIVES LIVING HELL FROM THIS POINT FORWARDS

~~

duke and nesty, pumped for halloween bc u l t i m a t e s p o o k: :D

paranoia, coming out in a traffic cone costume with a shit eating grin on his face: :D

~~

Paranoia, decorating for halloween bc "oh I'm sorry it's just the *sniffles * homesickness and we a l w a y s decorated for halloween" knowing full well all of his decorations are spider and witch themed bc they all like the salem witch trials

~~

He leaves ONE fake snake in romans cereal and the lights just. Lose it. Hes kicked back into the subconscious to be chaotic with his kids, no new side, just the hours upon hours of film hes gotten from the bugs hed placed around the unconscious and a plan for the next several movie nights

He gets back and honesty is w h e e z i n g bc he was watching through the cracks and they make a fail compilation of the light sides

It takes like two months for the lights to just go insane with him around not due to yknow paranoia but bc hes such a gremlin

~~

Patton asks if he was raised by wolves and he shoves mr sparkles at patton saying "take the issue of how I was raised up with my father, a-hole!!"

He doesnt actually curse he just yells "A-HOLE" so loud his kids can hear

~~

They dont find out he's a dad until hes summoned and hes making cookies or smt with the kids and hes in a bright orange stereotypical witch outfit,,, corset and all and an apron that says "worlds most chaotic dad" on the front

And hes talking to one of the kids like "duke you can only put dish soap in your batch nesty cant digest it like you can"

~~

Patton has an apron that says worlds least chaotic 'dad' courtesy of paranoia he made it himself(read: he stole pattons good apron and scribbled over it in sharpie)

~~

Paranoia is always close to cackling when around the lights bc theyre newbs to any chaos

~~

Roman and remus are twins but roman is the kind of kid to promptly forget abt anyone and logan n patton knew remus less than a day before he "disappeared" aka ran to the subconscious to explore and theyve just kinda blocked him out

~~

Logans fine with it and actually likes the decorations tho he has asked if they had to be so brightly coloured and if there had to be so much glitter

I say decorations but hes a secret gremlin at heart and is super close to snickering at all times bc of the pranks

~~

Also yes paranoia mildly dads roman it's great but he dads in an older sibling type way

~~

So pat and logan are all "hes fitting in as an older brother well" and they tell him abt their approval of his older brother chaos and hes just like "no this is how I am deal with it nothing to do with brothers" bc hes not telling them abt his kids he doesnt trust them

~~

Hes up at like midnight complaining with logan abt how patton doesnt let him be full chaos gremlin and logan says "mmmhmm did your parents in the dark side let you go wild with the chaos" and paranoia just,,,,, looks at him, dead in the eyes, and says "I dont have parents"

Cue logan being confusion

Paranoia, who genuinely didn't have parents: my parents are mr sparkles and the cat we've had for my entire life

Logan, who doesnt know they had a cat and is now worried bc "are you taking care of it???": ???

Paranoia: it's great for keeping the Others in line tho I just say "do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin" and they do their chores while I'm making dinner

logan, incredibly confused: i don't know what you mean but ok

Paranoia: yeah theyre dumb but it's the level of dumb youd expect from my idiots

~~

Or he slips up and refers to them as his children/kids and logan, not realizing they have an Actual Father/Sons relationship/age difference(paranoias abt.late 20s early 30s, remus defies all logic and has been about 9-10 for a few years now, and dees like early teens) just says "huh how.interesting would it be to have to deal with people your age that immature" and paranoias just. "Y e a h t h e y r e t o t a l l y t h e s a m e a g e a s I a m"

~~

Duke is very much baby and upon seeing duke eating glue paranoia and honesty the idiots decided to try it too

theyre so dumb dsdhdhdhjsdh

They AREEE and paranoia, after discovering that duke has the h a r d i e s t immune system they decide to test exactly what he can and cannot safely eat bc he may be dumb but hes also def a Dad and he just wants to take care of his kids and if that includes making sure that duke can safely consume toilet bleach then so be it

Duke can eat almost anything short of actual cyanide but cyanide just makes him sick like stomach bug sick

He somehow gets a fever,,,,, he has it for like half an hour and paranoia is amazed

Hes in bed,,,,, paranoia makes him soup,,,,,, hes all better and running around again

~~

Paranoias parenting rules:

Dont murder your brothers pls

Do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin

Glitter is always a yes

Insults are fine just make sure you dont overstep and make your brothers insecure

all of them are printed and then the last one is scrawled at the bottom in

If you get sick, tell him immediately bc he will find out and he will be the most obsessive parent to make sure you feel better ASAP

If your pronouns/name/function change, tell him immediately, he'll make sure you dont feel uncomfortable as well as he can

Duke dont put dish soap in honestys baked goods you know he cant digest it

It's a nice system for making chaos but keeping it manageable

They're all printed then the last one's scrawled in glitter gel pen and duke wrote a reply that said (I'm sorry yall dont have as good an immune system as I do)

There was a whole passive aggressive arguement on the bulletin for the next week before it got taken down to make room for dukes art

They eventually started just putting them up over each other and using magnets instead of thumbtacks

The entire bottom portion of the walls are painted in chalkboard paint so theres no unerasable drawing on the walls and the rest of the paint is magnetic so they can hang pieces everywhere

Dukes improving rapidly tho and doesnt like looking at his old art all the time so paranoia holds onto the drawings in several filing cabinets in case he ever wants to do redraws or needs his original prints to make something in the Imagination

also bc,,, sentimental

jus a little

Yeah bc "yes my child draws nothing but blood gore and new animals but hes a creative genius and I love all of his art"

~~

Roman: anxiety I can see why you left

Paranoia: ??? What?? It's spoopy season??

Roman: there was BLOOD on the WALLS

Paranoia, internally: oh!!!! Duke perfected his blood recipe!!!!

Paranoia, externally: how did it taste?

Roman: WHO TASTES THE BLOOD ON THE WALLS?!?!

Paranoia: if it tasted like lemons or citrus you need to stay off of most foods, stick to crackers and broth- don't eat anything heavy until you're sure you wont throw it up

Patton, who was making cereal: ????

~~

Also!!!! @iliveinprocrasti-nation Thanks for helping me flesh this AU out!!!