#c.m.o.t dibbler

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

The laudanum in Season 2 Episode 3 has a Terry Pratchett easter egg on it! :)

It reads "Guaranteed by C.M.O.T Dibbler & Co. CHEMISTS". C.M.O.T Dibbler (Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler) is a character from Terry's Discworld featuring in many books :).

"C.M.O.T. Dibbler liked to describe himself as a merchant adventurer; everyone else liked to describe him as an itinerant pedlar whose money-making schemes were always let down by some small but vital flaw, such as trying to sell things he didn’t own or which didn’t work or, sometimes, didn’t even exist." - Reaper Man

"‘Anti-dragon cream. Personal guarantee: if you’re incinerated you get your money back, no quibble.’ 'What you’re saying,’ said Vimes slowly, 'if I understand the wording correctly, is that if I am baked alive by the dragon you’ll return the money?’ 'Upon personal application,’ said Cut-Me-Own-Throat." - Guards! Guards!

“Angua picked out the bottle and looked at the label. "C.M.O.T. Dibbler's Genuine Authentic Soggy Mountain Dew," she read. "He's going to die! It says, 'One hundred and fifty per cent proof'!" "Nah, that's just old Dibbler's advertising," said Nobby. "It ain't got no proof. Just circumstantial evidence.” - Men at Arms

[yushauwu]

[smithy-smith]

I’m SCREAMING over the fact that the Laudanum bottle in ep. 3 is “Guaranteed by C.M.O.T. Dibbler”. LOVE IT 😂

[mildlybizarrecorvid]

Do you ever have a sense of deja vu very often and literally know how the future will play out and do a different thing to rebel against it or are you a peaceful backpack vendor

I guess I sell backpacks

Backpacks for sale, very fine, very good!

Who am I kidding, of course you do, everyone wants a backpack! All your friends have them, all your colleagues have them.

And for the savvy customer, this here backpack's half off and that's a bargain you won't find anywhere else, I'm practically taking food off my table to give you this deal!

Backpack!

[aeshnacyanea2000]

There were no flies on C.M.O.T. Dibbler. He would have charged them rent.

-- Terry Pratchett - The Truth

[idontknowreallywhy]

Was super excited to spot this Easter egg in Good Omens s2… 🥰

[thelonebookman]

Stable onna stick

How to catch a horse

[krowbby]

Ankh-Morpork Dashboard Simulator

happy 40th anniversary everyone 🥳🥳

🌅peach-bi-street

who’s that watchman who’s kinda skrunkly

🐀↺riverrat Follow

helen. 

HELEN. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOBBY NOBBS.

🌅↺peach-bi-street

oh yeah

#are you gonna look at me and tell me that im WRONG?

24 notes

🪙official-c.m.o.t.☑️☑️Sponsored with Blaze

C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s Escape The Room!!!!!

Newly opened in the Street of Cunning Artificers is an experience unlike any you’ve had before! Enter a room filled with secrets and mysteries which you must solve in order to escape! Great place to bring a date! Compete with other visitors for the fastest time to solve the room!

Show this ad at the front desk for a special deal of only one dollar per person, and that’s cuttin’ me own throat!!!

Dibbler Enterprises does not take any responsibility for any maiming, hot oil, buckets of snakes, or any other hazards guests may encounter in their visit.

#smallbusiness #ankhmorpork #ankhblr #deals

590 notes

🚹humantwitter Follow

4,981 notes

💌postal-service-top Follow

saw the postmaster today in his stupid gold suit. hes so hot

🌚↺lesbianbaker

i don’t get why people say this he’s the most average looking guy ever. his WIFE however

#you know that post that’s like ur at a lesbian bar and a hot older woman is smoking #and ur like. ‘can yuo put that out on me’ #yeah

120 notes

🥁evenmoremendeddrum Follow

do you guys think the patrician has a secret blog

🛤️↺makeyefret Follow

No, but I bet his secretary is on studyblr

🐶↺wufflesgirl Follow

are you kidding me the patrician is definitely on tumblr. brb committing treason so i can compliment his shoelaces

🥁↺evenmoremendeddrum Follow

peer-reviewed tags

#lord vetinari if ur reading this is legally a joke #wear an owl pin if ur one of us

🏚️↺ankhmorporkheritageposts Follow

Ankh-Morpork Heritage Post

1,074,228 notes

trainhoe-deactivated19890205

hot take but i kind of think the guild of assassins and thieves are problematic. like one of them you could ruin someone’s life and the other one you’re literally KILLING people. i know rich people are delusional but i can’t believe they literally think the best school for their kids is murder college.

🐲essential-dragons Follow

assassins got them

20,391 notes

[tossawary]

One of my favorite Discworld books is actually one of the more obscure ones, "Moving Pictures", which is about the invention of films and the movie business in this fantasy world that has dwarves and trolls and wizards and so on. It has its rough patches like every early Discworld book, but Ginger's speech about people who were born in the wrong time or wrong place for their dreams really gets to me in a good way, and I love all of the references to classic films and commentary on fame and creativity. It also has classic characters like Gaspode the Talking Dog and C.M.O.T. Dibbler, and it introduces Detritus's romance with another troll named Ruby.

Perhaps most importantly to me is that this book introduces Ponder Stibbons, who is a wizard, and who goes on in later books to be one of the most important members of the Unseen University (he holds like twelve different positions), in that he's one of the few people who can competently manage a project and so ends up managing nearly everything. (Bear with me, it's been a while since I read any Discworld and my memory is a little rough.) In "Moving Pictures", Ponder is the classmate (roommate?) of a fellow named Victor Tugelbend, who is one of the main characters.

Victor begins the book as a career student, in that a wealthy relative left him a great deal of money exclusively for school; so as long as he STAYS in school, all of his living expenses are paid for. If Victor graduates, that's the end of the money. If Victor drops out, that's the end of the money. But if Victor manages to hit a specific mark range in the 80s every year, then he gets to stay on for another year and try again, and so Victor is perhaps the most dedicated and knowledgeable wizardry student in the university's history, because you have to know what the right answer is in order to intentionally get a certain number of the questions wrong, so that you can continue to coast along on your college fund.

Ponder's graduation is (accidentally) Victor's fault, because Victor runs away to get into the movie business. (I won't spoil what happens, but it's VERY funny.) Now, I like to imagine after the events of the book, after Ponder holds a faculty position in the university, Victor comes BACK to the university occasionally as a disgustingly well-paid external consultant, which drives Ponder UP THE FUCKING WALL. Like, people are so stingy all of the time but SOMEHOW the university budget has room to bring your offensively handsome dropout roommate back just to say, "Hmm, yes, that looks bad. Have you tried turning it off and on again?" I'd throw a fit, honestly. (As soon as Ponder has enough seniority, he probably puts his foot down to stop this if Victor isn't actually useful. Maybe he is, idk, but maybe not for THAT consulting fee.)

I also like to imagine that Victor Tugelbend and Theda "Ginger" Withel are still together, maybe even still acting (badly? mediocre-ly? decently?) together, in some dingy little theatre (Ginger is the director and runs their acting troupe like a tyrant) where the front seats are regularly filled with middle-aged folks who still sigh over the memories of moving pictures. (Moving pictures are now, presumably, VERY illegal in Ankh Morpork.) Victor and Ginger have only because even more attractive as they've gotten older, which is EVEN MORE OFFENSIVE to poor Ponder because his former movie star former roommate is married to another gorgeous former movie star?! I'd throw another fit.

Anyway, I think Ponder deserves to have an affair with a pair of aging former movie stars. I like to imagine this purely because I think it's funny. He seems kind of busy for marriage, so joining someone else's marriage part-time might be good for him. It probably makes most of the rest of the Unseen University faculty breathlessly envious and that really does it for him.

And I think that this affair would OF COURSE be covered by every newspaper and tabloid in the city, including The Times, and William de Worde and Sacharissa Cripslock don't fully understand why their entertainment reporter is so breathlessly excited about people who were famous over a decade ago? (Supermarket tabloids love to tell me about alleged affairs of people who were famous 20+ years ago.) The article on Victor Maraschino and Delores De Syn's failing marriage* is their bestselling newspaper in months and William puts his head down on his desk in despair. (He's fine. This happens on a weekly at least basis. He just needs a minute.)

*Victor and Ginger are very happy with this situation, actually. They're going to take Ponder to dinner to go on a double date with Ruby and Detritus soon. Victor and Ponder are going to get distracted arguing about some of the Inadvisably Applied Magic research projects, but that's fine, because Ginger wants to talk to Ruby about this one-troll-woman-show concept. (Detritus will proudly hand out tickets at the Watch station and accidentally intimidate all of his coworkers into accepting the invitation.)

[stupidphototricks]

Quotes from Mort:

He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. The Creator had a lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it understandable hadn't been one of them. Terry Pratchett, Mort

Even the hot meat pie man had stopped crying his wares and, with no regard for personal safety, was eating one. Terry Pratchett, Mort (proto-C.M.O.T. Dibbler)

"Well, ----me," he said. "A ----ing wizard. I hate ----ing wizards!" "You shouldn't ---- them, then," muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes. Terry Pratchett, Mort (Old joke but not quite so old at the time) (This expurgated writing style didn't carry over to any later books, I think)

"We give him trouble, you see. Priests don't, so he likes priests." "He's never said," said Mort. "Ah. They're always telling folk how much better it's going to be when they're dead. We tell them it could be pretty good right here if only they'd put their minds to it." Terry Pratchett, Mort (Also partly the message of Good Omens, per Neil Gaiman)

With royal self-control, Keli said, "This is the fourth floor. It's a lady's bedroom. You'd be amazed how many horses we don't get up here." Terry Pratchett, Mort

SLEEP? SLEEP? I NEVER SLEEP. I'M WOSSNAME, PROVERBIAL FOR IT. Terry Pratchett, Mort

It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen. Terry Pratchett, Mort

"Sodomy non sapiens," said Albert under his breath. "What does that mean?" "Means I'm buggered if I know." Terry Pratchett, Mort

"You can help?" said Mort. "No," said Ysabell. She blew her nose. "What do you mean, no?" growled Albert. "This is too important for any flighty--" "I mean," said Ysabell, in razor tones, "that I can do them and you can help." Terry Pratchett, Mort

YOU WILL DO AS YOU ARE TOLD. "I will not." YOU'RE MAKING THIS VERY DIFFICULT. "Good." Terry Pratchett, Mort (Death vs. teenager) (I love when Death says normal-person things in the DEATH voice, like especially when he's talking to the little kids in Hogfather)

"Is it a pearl?" he said. THE PRESSURE OF THIS REALITY KEEPS IT COMPRESSED. THERE MAY COME A TIME WHEN THE UNIVERSE ENDS AND REALITY DIES, AND THEN THIS ONE WILL EXPLODE AND... WHO KNOWS? KEEP IT SAFE. IT'S A FUTURE AS WELL AS A PRESENT. Death put his skull on one side. IT'S A SMALL THING, he added. YOU COULD HAVE HAD ETERNITY. "I know," said Mort. "I've been very lucky." Terry Pratchett, Mort (Unfired Chekov's gun of the series? I don't remember this ever coming up again)

[finding-flight]

I nearly choked laughing when I saw this. I love that the show is putting in nods to Sir Terry.

[ID: a screenshot from Good Omens 2 showing a corked green bottle with an old-fashioned label reading "LAUDANUM. POISON. Guaranteed by C.M.O.T Dibbler & Co, Chemists." Above this, the label reads "Each fluid Ounce contains 45 1/2 Grains of Opium and 40% Alcohol."]

[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

How I imagine random Discworld characters!

No one asked but you're getting an insight into my mind anyway.

Are you ready? Drum roll please...

Lady Ramkin:

Captain Vimes:

Granny Weatherwax:

Nanny Ogg:

Magrat:

C.M.O.T Dibbler:

Archchancellor Ridcully & the Bursar:

I am aware these two are in a banking advert but their energy matches so well.

Windle Poons:

Part 2

[dimity-lawn]

Auditor on the onna Laudator*.

*C.M.O.T Dibbler will laud anything if he stands to profit.

[ralkana]

Holy shit C.M.O.T. Dibbler

[huenot]

Nice to see you here, C.M.O.T. Dibbler

[madseance]

LAUDANUM • POISON Guaranteed by C.M.O.T Dibbler & Co. Chemists

“C.M.O.T. Dibbler liked to describe himself as a merchant adventurer; everyone else liked to describe him as an itinerant pedlar whose money-making schemes were always let down by some small but vital flaw, such as trying to sell things he didn’t own or which didn’t work or, sometimes, didn’t even exist.” —Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man