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ticklygiggles · 2 months ago

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A snowman, a crow and a kitten | Sylus, Zayne x fem!reader [n$fw]

Commissioned by @otomiyaa

A/N: BABYYYY thank you so much for your kind suppoooort 💕❤️💖 I'm sorry it took me ages to finish dkfndknff I decided to write this in first person to go along with the game, I hope you liiiike it. I personally don't know how to feel about it dkdndkdb anyways thank you so much love 💕 I hope you enjoy this! 💞💓💖

Summary: You're simply their little toy.

Words: 3k+

His hands on my body were like a shower of sparks, each one exploding on my skin in a flash of pleasure. I felt like I was floating in a sea of sensations, without control, without direction, just going with the flow. His fingers were everywhere, caressing my skin like feathers, light, yet persuasive. My mind would cloud, my breathing would quicken, and my body would surrender, giving in to the sensations.

Within a second his hands were squeezing my hips, his thumbs digging into my bones, making me arch my back and gasp between raucous laughs. The next second, his fingers found the warmth under my arms and wiggled them playfully against the very center of my armpits, making me cry out with joy, tears streaming down my face.

How long had he been tickling me? A few minutes? Hours? Days? I didn't know and I didn't care, because I was addicted to that feeling of pleasure that was building up between my legs, making me moan loudly and freely.

"Will it be your laughter or your moans that will make the neighbors complain about the noise?” I could barely hear his delicious, deep voice over the incessant noise escaping from between my lips. A noise somewhere between a laugh, a gasp, a moan, and a sob. Something that didn't sound like me at all.

My hands desperately clung to his wrists, trying to pull away his hands that slowly immersed me in a whirlwind of pleasure and sensations that made my brain short-circuit.

“Do you want me to stop?" Zayne asked, his body on top of mine, keeping me pinned against the couch, his lips caressing my ear, making me shiver and causing my skin to prickle. My mind was screaming 'yes! I want you to stop! I can't stand it another second', but my head shook from side to side vigorously, even though my chest was already hurting from the lack of oxygen and the muscles of my stomach and sides were burning.

His soft laugh made me shiver. "Good girl." Zayne kissed my earlobe before pulling back, as if to admire the state I was in. I felt even more heat rising to my cheeks from my neck. I knew I didn't look at all attractive right now. I was probably as red as a cherry, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I also felt a trickle of saliva escaping from my huge forced smile and falling down my chin. Not charming at all, and yet, Zayne stared at me as a predator would look at prey. His green eyes darkened with lust, his tongue licking his lips and his cheeks flushed.

Who would have thought that tickling me would cause such a turn on in Zayne? I could feel his hard cock against my clothed pussy and I moaned, feeling like I was going crazy.

“Z-Zayne, please!” I sobbed between laughs. "P-Please!”

“Hmm? What do you want, little tickle toy?” I sobbed out a few more words with difficulty, for my laughter would not cease. “I cannot hear you. Would you stop laughing?”

“I c-cahan't, I-"

“Ah, so you were busy.”

My laugh caught in my throat. Zayne and I both quickly looked towards the door and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I saw who was entering my house.

“S-Sylus?! W-What are you doing-”

“I sent Mephisto to check on you, but you didn't open the window. I see why now.”

Sylus chuckled, looking at me, then at Zayne. His eyes moving to the hands under my arms and the position Zayne and I were in. I froze, not knowing what to do. Zayne looked at my guest with a raised eyebrow and seemed confused as well. I wanted the earth to swallow me up.

“A little crow came to say hello, it seems.” Zayne's voice was too calm, a chill ran down my spine.

Sylus smirked. “I came to check on my kitten, I thought she was going to be bored, but I see she's in good company.”

“Yes. You can leave now.”

“I don't wanna,” Sylus said, finally, finally, closing the door behind him. “Besides, you're doing it all wrong.”

“Excuse me?”

My heart raced as I watched Sylus approach us. My hands that were clinging to Zayne's shoulders were suddenly grabbed tightly and placed high above my head. I squealed and arched my back, my breath hitching in my throat as I looked up at Sylus. He looked at me with a mischievous smile and eyes shining with mischief.

“She likes being pinned down,” Sylus explained, as if I wasn't there between the two. “She loves having no escape from her tickles, don't you, kitten?” My only response was a whimper and Sylus took it as a yes, of course. “Tell you what, Zayne. Why don't I stay up here for a while.” Zayne arched an eyebrow. “And you can do whatever you want down there.”

Sylus jerked his chin towards my legs and Zayne looked down, his eyes widening for a second before his fingers touched my still covered pussy. I moaned, bucking my hips up.

“You're leaking,” Zayne mumbled and I gasped, looking at the tips of his fingers. Zayne looked between my legs for a moment and then he looked up at Sylus. “Fine.”

My eyes widened as Sylus let out a deep chuckle. “We'll take turns, then.”

In an instant, their hands were on me. I tensed thinking they were going to tickle me, but to my horror, Zayne hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts and underwear and pulled them down. I squealed, bringing my legs together to hide my pussy, but Zayne grabbed my knees and easily spread my legs apart, completely exposing me to him.

Meanwhile Sylus grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it off, exposing my breasts. Unlike my shorts and panties, the shirt only reached my elbows and a heavy gasp escaped my mouth when I felt Sylus sitting on my arms. My eyes moved from Zayne to Sylus and back again.

My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, and I was only able to say something when Zayne suddenly lowered his head between my legs. I moaned and shivered as I felt Zayne's warm lips on the inside of my left thigh, he trailed kisses from my knee to my groin and my breath caught in my throat when I felt his lips pressing on my pussy.

I moaned Zayne's name, arching my back a little and closing my eyes. Zayne kissed me again and I shivered in pleasure once more and moaned softly. His next kiss was directly on my clit, he had separated my lips to discover that little spot and as he pressed his mouth against it, I felt like I was going to cum just like that. His tongue played with my clit for a second, before it slid all over my pussy, tasting my juices before returning to my clit.

“Oh, Zayne!” I cried, moaning and writhing as his tongue circled my hard clit. My nipples hardened and my skin covered in goosebumps. His tongue licked, fluttered and pressed against my clit mercilessly, making me let out loud sounds of pleasure. “I'm g-going to cum! Nghh!” He sucked on it, holding my legs that rested over his shoulders to keep me in place.

It felt so good, my eyes crossed as I felt that tingle of my upcoming orgasm, my legs shook, but I had forgotten about Sylus… until I felt his fingers in my armpits.

A loud laugh bubbled out of me, I pulled at my arms desperately, trying to get them out from under Sylus, but it was impossible. His agile and light fingers buried themselves in my armpits, wiggling, poking, squeezing, prodding- just every single thing he knew would make me laugh in hysterics.

“Sylus!” I squealed, feeling the tingles of my climax fading away. “S-Stohohop! PLEHEHEASE!”

“Oh c'mon, don't act as if you are not enjoying yourself, sweetie.” I shook my head, but groans began to filter through my laughter and my cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. “You're such a weird little miss,” he chuckled. “Getting off by getting tickled? That is certainly something you don't hear all the time.”

I shook my head again, trying to grit my teeth to stop my laughter, but then Sylus increased the speed of his tickling and I could only howl in hysterics. When I thought I would go crazy from the tickling in my armpits, suddenly Sylus' fingers moved to my nipples and I moaned as he squeezed and flicked them. My hips circled and I grind harder against Zayne's mouth; he barely flinched while I was being tickled, I just felt his fingers digging a little deeper into my thighs, trying to keep me still.

“Y-Yes! F-Fuck yes! F-Faster, Zayne, please. Fa- ahahaha!” Again the stupid tickling under my arms. I groaned in frustration, but then started laughing out loud. “Sylus, pl-please! DOHOHON'T!”

“Look how much you're grinding against Zayne,” Sylus purred. “You are such a weird one.”

I hated that his teasing, although humiliating, made me feel even hornier; my moans getting deeper and louder, mingling with my hysterical laughter and the squeals that escaped my mouth. I felt hot all over my body. The fingers digging under my arms and into my thighs; Sylus teasing my nipples, Zayne eating me out- it all just felt too much.

Soon my legs started to shake as Sylus’s fingers did a weird dance, first tickling my armpits and then teasing my nipples, back and forth, back and forth. Zayne on the other hand, pushed two fingers inside me, hooking them up and touching that tender spot within me while his tongue circled faster and harder around my clit. The tingling came back, my breath became erratic, my moans desperate and as my eyes rolled back into my skull, I finally reached that wonderful peak, letting myself fall from the edge into a sea of pleasure that made my whole body tremble like crazy.

Tingly sparks washed over me and I even forgot to think, to breathe, my mind went blank and it seemed like I had been suspended in a subspace of satisfaction… until my body started to come back to his senses and the sensations immediately overwhelmed me, making me shriek, scream in desperation.

Sylus was still very busy tickling me under my arms while Zayne kept using his tongue on my pussy while his fingers pressed and rubbed that delicate spot inside me. I was going crazy, in my head it seemed like I could hear a noise like static, I couldn't think of anything else but what those two were doing to me. My skin felt a little uncomfortable, wet with a light layer of sweat, sticking to the couch. I felt exhausted, I couldn't defend myself... and I didn't want to.

“Zayne.” I could barely hear Sylus's voice over my screams and hysterical laughter and some pleas that made no sense, neither to them nor to me.

“Hmm?”

“Are you having fun there? She already cum, so I think it's my turn.”

Zayne finally stopped, leaving my pussy pulsing and clenching. “You said you wanted her breasts.”

“And I also said we would share.” Sylus moved his hands down to my ribs and I arched my back, begging for him to stop, but he didn't hear me, or rather, he pretended not to hear me. “Stop acting like a spoiled child, Zayne, and move your ass up here.”

The tickling finally stopped and I went limp against the couch. My body was twitching, my pussy clenching, my armpits and ribs titillating with the residual tickles. I groaned, letting out a sigh when Sylus let go of my arms, but my body didn't move at all. Was I that tired? No, I just... didn't want them to stop yet. I opened my eyes, my vision blurred by tears, and looked at them both and brows furrowed in disappointment

Sylus laughed, his voice echoing through my small apartment. "Why are you making that face? Weren't you asking us to stop, kitten?” Sylus positioned himself between my legs, making me gasp. “Now you want to continue? You're a very indecisive little lady, aren't you?" His huge hands caressed my thighs, grabbing my leg behind my knee and putting it over his shoulder. He was smirking down at me, raising an eyebrow, waiting for my answer. “So?”

I swallowed hard and tensed when I felt Zayne sitting on my arms. I whimpered, looking at them both again.

“Should we stop…”

“... Or continue?”

I whined, my body bouncing. “J-Just d-do i-iiit! I d-don’t- ack! Ahahahaha!”

I was surprised at how different the tickling was from both of them. Sylus was a bit rougher, not to the point of pain, but enough to make my sensitive skin turn red within seconds. He liked to dig his fingers in my skin, teasing my muscles and making me jump. Zayne, on the other hand, was a little gentler, his fingers fluttering against my armpits. Drawing random shapes with his delicate fingertips, scratching my skin, poking me, scribbling– just any touch that made my skin cover in goosebumps as I laughed and laughed and laughed.

I jumped with a small scream when I felt Sylus grab my hips and I begged between giggles that he wouldn't tickle me there, but he didn't do it, instead, he grabbed me firmly and my eyes widened as I felt his dick entering me, fast and hard.

“Sylus!” I gasped, lifting my head to see that he had just pulled his dick out, his pants still on.

“You'll hurt her.” I heard Zayne said, his hands stopping.

“I won't,” Sylus answered with a growl; his eyes fluttering closer as he got used to my pussy… and I tried to get used to his huge cock.

He filled me so nicely. His warmth made me shudder, his tip immediately hitting that sweet spot, making me cross my eyes in ecstasy. Sylus chuckled after just a few seconds and when I looked at him, he was smirking down at me, making me moan and jerk my hips slightly.

“Do you want me to move, kitten?”

I nodded desperately, opening my mouth and choking on my saliva. Sylus chuckled lowly, and I felt his cock moving out of me before he thrust hard into me, our bodies making a 'slap!' sound that echoed throughout the house. I gasped, arching my back and throwing my head back. He rammed into me again and I moaned loudly as he began to pick up speed, thrusting his cock into me again and again until my moans turned into screams of pleasure.

“F-Faster! Pl-Plea- Faster!”

I gasped as I felt Zayne's cold hand grip my jaw and twist my head to the side. My eyes widened as I saw his massive erection milliliters away from my face.

“Be a good girl and open your pretty mouth.”

I whimpered, but I obediently did what I was told. I opened my mouth wide and salivated at the slight salty taste of Zayne's precum. He let me get used to his length, first inserting the tip, my tongue licking up all the precum, making him furrow his brow and breathe raggedly. He then pushed himself deeper and deeper into my throat; I was so used to having him inside me that I no longer felt nauseous from having him all the way in. Zayne threw his head back, exhaling and shuddering. I tightened my throat and he growled, pushing his hips back before he rammed into my throat.

Tears were streaming down my face as they both used me however they wanted and my arousal continued to grow as I felt them filling my pussy and mouth. Sylus moaned deeply, without shame. He liked to show how good I made him feel and he said it without thinking:

“Ah! What a g-good girl, so t-tight for me. You really like my cock, kitten? Y-You're clenching me so nicely. Ngh!”

Zayne was quieter. He bit his bottom lip and pressed the back of his hand against his mouth to keep from making any noise, But as my throat tightened around his cock and one of my shaking hands began to play with his balls, Zayne had no choice but to moan loudly, throwing his head back.

I felt dizzy. I could barely breathe with Zayne in my throat, and the pleasure was driving me crazy. Sylus had started playing with my clit as he kept going in and out of me and my moans and whimpers caused vibrations against Zayne's dick that made him moan more.

I was losing it. I couldn't focus my thoughts on anything but these two men touching me and making me feel so good. As I felt that delicious tingle building inside me, I was almost sure I would pass out before I came, but I didn't. My body trembled and convulsed as currents of pleasure washed over me. I came like I had never come before, my skin covered in goosebumps from head to toe and I sobbed and cried and moaned and whimpered as Sylus milked my orgasm until his movements started to overstimulate me. It tickled, but it also felt overwhelming.

My jaw and the corners of my mouth hurt. My throat was starting to burn, but soon, with just a couple of thrusts from Zayne, he came inside my mouth. I tried to swallow as much of his load as I could, but it still leaked out of the corners of my mouth. Zayne shivered and breathed rapidly as he recovered from his climax. I coughed as he pulled his cock out of my throat and moaned Sylus' name as I begged:

“S-Stop! Angh! I j-just c-came s-stop, please!” I sobbed, but Sylus didn't listen to me, he grabbed my hips and fucked me harder and faster until I felt his warm seed filling me. I shuddered as he trembled in pleasure, thrusting against me a few more times to ride his orgasm.

I sighed tiredly, relaxing my shivering, twitchy body into the couch as my breaths echoed off the walls of my house. I closed my eyes, feeling like I was floating and almost falling asleep until I felt Sylus pulling his cock out of my pussy. I moaned, my legs shaking, I opened my eyes heavy from sleep and my heart skipped a beat when I saw that Zayne was now between my legs, his dick so hard as if he hadn't come in my mouth just moments ago.

“W-What?”

“It's my turn,” he said and before I could say anything else, he pushed himself inside me and I sobbed with pleasure before bursting into laughter as mischievous fingers began tickling my ribs.

The sensation was so intense that I felt like the world was spinning around me.

“What's the matter, kitten? I thought you wanted to play. Let's keep playing, shall we?”

I still had a long night ahead of me, and my insides churned with excitement, my pussy clenching around Zayne, so eager to feel the pleasure these two men had in store for me; even if it meant passing out halfway there, but I was sure that these two were not going to allow it, after all, they only wanted my pleasure and hear my pretty voice calling their names through my sweet moans.

#love and deepspace #love & deepspace #love and deepspace tickling #sylus x reader #zayne x reader #ticklish!reader #tickle fic #spicy #n$fw #mia's things #commissions

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dre7m · 2 years ago

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NSFW ALPHABET — j.bellingham

smut

send requests but be specific!!

A)AFTERCARE

jude is so sweet for aftercare. he’ll clean you up and hug and pepper you with kisses afterwards.

B)BODYPART

he loves your throat and waist. he will forever wrap his hand around your throat and grip your waist at any possible moment.

C)CUM

he loves to cum inside you and always will, whether that be your ass,pussy or mouth. although seeing your face painted with his cum is a huge turn on.

D) DIRTY SECRET

he secretly wants you to take control and dominate him, but he’ll never admit it.

E)EXPERIENCE

he is young and therefore is not that experienced, until it comes to you obviously. as time has passed he has learnt his way around your body and knows exactly what he needs to do to get you off.

F)FAVOURITE POSITION

jude doesn’t have one, but he loves any position where you both can look at him mercilessly ramming into you from a mirror.

G)GOOFY

he doesn’t really try to crack jokes but he smiles once a while as you and him both know his smile is so attractive.

H)HAIR

he is groomed, but he doesn’t take it that seriously.

I)INTIMACY

he loves intertwining hands with you whenever your doing it and will make sure you’re comfortable.

J)JACK OFF

he prefers to go through videos of you guys, masturbating being his last option as he prefers the real deal.

K)KINK

to your shock, jude is secretly such a kinky guy. he loves the dom/sub dynamic and loves abusing your skin, leaving hickeys for everyone to see.

L)LOCATION

his house is both of yours preferred location. the more privacy, the better.

M)MOTIVATION

just you, not much context needed.

N)NO

he’s open to everything you are and if you don’t/ are uncomfortable he won’t do it.

O)ORAL

he prefers receiving. seeing your eyes as you peer up at him turns him on crazy. also something about your bruised knees always gets him going.

P)PACE

usually he is quite rough and fast but it honestly depends on the situation.

Q)QUICKIE

due to this job, you always find yourself in a changing room or guest bathroom, terribly controlling your moans.

R)RISKS

you both love the thrill. enough said.

S)STAMINA

he could genuinely last all day and it feels like he won’t stop fucking you until hours at times.

T)TEASE

he is the biggest tease. constantly pushing your buttons, grabbing your waist and whispering dirty things into your ear at any opportunity.

U)UNFAIR

following back to the previous point, he’s such a tease and therefore very unfair.

V)VOLUME

he is quite vocal, always praising you.

W)WILD CARD

he loves watching a bulge appear into your stomach; constantly pressing down on it which just adds to the pleasure.

X)X-RAY

he is huge. not as thick but very lengthy

Y)YEARNING

high. very high.

Z)ZzZ

he won’t sleep until he knows your okay.

#judebellinghamsmut #jude bellingham smut #footballer smut #smut #football smut

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tom-whore-dleston · 1 year ago

Note

Have you thought about doing A-Z fluff with Adam Warlock? I would love to see it! <3

Pairing ▹ Adam Warlock x f. reader

Genre ▹ fluff

This fic contains ▹ gotg vol. 3 spoilers!, fluff, some angst, jealousy, break-up, mentions of Adam pre-Guardians, lots of domestic shit, Adam being down bad for you, Eros/Starfox from The Eternals makes a guest appearance, lightly beta-ed

Word Count ▹ 2.6k

Notes ▹ I normally don't take requests but I thought this would be a nice exercise to get me back into writing bc it's been a hot minute. Plus, Will Poulter is currently invading my head space after the sexy dream I had of him. Remember to reblog and comment if you enjoyed! 😊

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) If you could rate how affectionate Adam was on a scale from one to ten, the scale would be broken. He was always hugging, kissing, and holding you. Adam’s love language is physical touch so he’d probably perish if you weren’t in his embrace.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Adam was the first friend you made after arriving at Knowhere. While celebrating the destruction of Counter-Earth and the fall of the High Evolutionary, you found Adam watching you dance. You were drawn to him like a magnet so it felt natural that you approached him, introduced yourself, and pulled him into a dance. He was hesitant because he was unfamiliar with the art of dancing, but fortunately, you were a dancer on your old planet so you taught him how to move to the music.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Of course, Adam is a cuddler! He enjoys being big and little spoons equally, just as long as you were pressed against his body in any kind of way. Cuddles are perfect when Blurp is nestled in the space between your and Adam’s legs.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) He is the most domestic partner you have ever dated, hence why you both work so well together. He loved cooking and cleaning and doing other chores with you. Being next to you and doing mundane things together was one of his favorite things to do with you. Even though he loves the Guardians, Adam pictured what life would be like with just the two of you in your own living space. He wouldn’t bring up the idea until later down the line because he wants to be there for the team as much as he can.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Adam would write you a long, heartfelt letter describing his feelings and why he is ending your relationship. You’d find dried-up tear stains that smeared on the ink from his pen, causing some words to be smudged. You would add to the paper with your own set of tears as you read about all the beautiful memories the two of you made together.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?) Adam would be head over heels for you so he is 100% down to be committed to you and only you. If it were up to him, he’d want to marry you as soon as possible. However, you told him you wanted to wait a little longer before getting married. Adam respected your wishes but he often gets lost daydreaming about how perfect your wedding day would be.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Adam is the definition of a gentle giant. Everyone was initially intimidated by him because of how powerful and destructive he once was. However, once you encouraged the others to give Adam a chance, they realized how gentle and kind he was. Adam knows that you are capable of handling your own and don’t need to be treated so delicately. Yet, that doesn’t stop him from being tender and soft with you. He just doesn’t want to hurt anyone again the way he once did.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Adam doesn’t like hugs. He LOVES them! He will hug you every chance he gets and you are there to reciprocate. His favorite kind of hugs are ones with you and Blurp atop his bed right before you all fall asleep together. All the children from Counter-Earth run up to Adam to give him a hug because he is like a giant teddy bear to them.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Adam would most likely confess his love for you after a month of being together. When he began developing these feelings for you, he sought advice from the Guardians, both former and new. Nebula suggested that he gift you the heart of your worst enemy. After a collection of cringes from the group, Drax advised him to just pull her into a kiss on the battlefield because “she will never see it coming.” The Guardians began shouting and arguing amongst each other over what was the best way Adam should tell you he loves you. Finally, Groot, who was the most silent of the group, told Adam that the best way to win your heart is just to be yourself and let it come out naturally. Rocket almost shed a tear with how proud he was of his friend. Of course, Adam took Groot’s advice and let the words flow naturally. As you both shared a kiss, the Guardians watched you both with warm hearts and smiles on their faces.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Adam doesn’t get jealous often, but when he does, he does a poor job of hiding it. After he confessed his love for you, Starfox, an Eternal, stopped by for a visit. Starfox, also known as Eros, was a long-time friend of yours and it got to Adam’s head how close you were to him. You reassured Adam that there was nothing to worry about, but the Eternal’s handsome features and flirty ways made Adam consider otherwise. Adam isolated from you for an entire day, until Eros found him setting a pile of trash on fire. The two Celestials had a heart-to-heart about you and Eros revealed to Adam how enamored you were with Adam.

“Yeah, she talks about you all the time. I’ve never seen her with such joy in the time I have known her.”

“Oh.” Adam felt a pinch of guilt for being so angry with Eros. “I’m sorry for being jealous of you. I’d like for us to be friends if that’s possible.”

“All is forgiven, mate,” Eros grinned, holding his hand out to Adam. “You obviously make her happy so you’re already taken Pip’s spot as my best friend.” With that, Adam shook his hand, beginning the start to another friendship.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Kissing Adam feels like the flowers blooming in the springtime and the leaves falling in the autumn. Every kiss with him is as amazing as the first time. His lips melt against yours like the universe created you both to do so. He loves stooping down to your level to peck you on the forehead or nose. Meanwhile, you love kissing him on his shoulder or his collarbone because it’s the easiest for you to reach. Adam’s favorite way to be kissed by you is on his hand while your fingers are interlaced with his. You would bring your locked hands to your lips before pressing a kiss atop his hand and then nuzzling your cheek against it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Considering the number of kids that reside on Knowhere, he basically treats them as his younger siblings. You love watching the kids play and climb all over Adam as he bursts into fits of laughter. When the children start fighting or crying, he immediately steps in to comfort them or help solve their problems. Seeing how great he is with them makes you think about how amazing of a dad he would be in the future.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Usually, you wake up before he does with your head pressed against his chest. You’d wake him up by peppering kisses over his face and stroking his soft blonde hair. Adam would return the favor with groggy eyes and then do the same to Blurp, who was typically the last to wake up. Your morning routine together always began by turning on some 80s music because it was upbeat and energetic. You would wash your face and brush your teeth before changing into your clothes for the day. After that, you would help yourselves to breakfast. Sometimes, Blurp would need to be fed first otherwise he would beg for the food you were cooking for yourselves.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) If you aren’t on missions across the galaxy, your night routine would be enjoying dinner on a rooftop to admire the stars and planets in the sky. A playlist of love songs would be playing in the background as you conversed and ate. Then, you would share a bath or shower, depending on how tired you both were. Sometimes, you would lose track of time and fall asleep under the night sky with a blanket draped over your body. The Guardians have made attempts to get you back into your beds but gave up when you tossed around and cuddled closer to one another.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Adam doesn’t have much life experience so he shares everything with you all at once. Normally, it would bother you if a partner was an open book right off the bat, but you understood that Adam was a different case. If anything, it made you love him more knowing that you get to grow with him and show him the beauties of the universe.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Adam can be easily angered, depending on the situation. He will never get angry with you and he avoids getting angry in front of you. Yet, you tend to be the one to find him when he is alone and letting out his anger on abandoned items in a secluded area of Knowhere. Conversely, he can easily calm down with you when your hand touches his. You help him with deep breaths and affirmations and his anger is gone.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Adam remembers everything from your mother’s name to your favorite color. On the flip side, he will forget anything that Rocket will tell him, even if it was something important. The Guardians say he has a selective hearing for you because he is so wrapped up in his love for you. Sometimes, you will have to repeat what Rocket says back to Adam because he is more likely to remember important things if you are the one exchanging information with him.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) His favorite memory with you is when you first met. Adam couldn’t help but watch you dance to Florence and the Machine. Even when you laid eyes on him, his gaze was still locked on you. He was grateful you were confident enough to introduce yourself to him and ask him to dance. He was nervous and tripped over his own feet and words, but you didn’t seem bothered at all by it. Having your body against his ignited a fire inside him that he did not know could exist. Little did he know that you were feeling the same exact thing as him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Adam is sooooo protective. Not just of you, but with the Guardians and the citizens of Knowhere. He wasn’t able to protect his mother from her untimely death and he is still haunted by it. So he goes to extreme lengths to protect everyone he loves. He isn’t all that concerned about his own safety because he knows he is powerful enough to protect himself. Adam is the type to make sacrifices for the better of everyone else even if it means getting hurt in the process. At least you are there to tend to his wounds when he is done protecting everyone.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Adam puts a lot of effort into his relationship with you. He is always the first one to sing “Happy Birthday” to you on your birthday and make it a special day for you. The Sovereign will get assistance from Mantis and Drax to set up dates, parties, and gifts for you. This usually leads to Mantis and Drax bickering over what Adam should write on cards or if he should get you candy or stuffed animals. Sometimes, their bickering would be so loud that Adam’s surprises for you would get spoiled because you would be eavesdropping on their conversations. At the end of it all, you loved the lengths Adam went through to make you happy and loved. But you still suggested that Adam seek help from someone other than Mantis and Drax if he wants the surprises to be successful.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) At first, it was cute when Adam had selective hearing/memory for you, but after a while, it became a little concerning. Especially when he would forget stuff regarding missions. You confronted Adam in a gentle way and he agreed to work on his listening skills. He has improved in listening to Rocket, but he still struggles to remember Rocket’s favorite song.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Adam isn’t too concerned with his looks. Perhaps the reason being his young mind hasn’t allowed him to be self-aware of his looks. Either way, he is content with how he looks because appearance doesn’t change how people view him.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) As mentioned previously, he would perish without you by his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Peter Quill returned to Knowhere for a short visit. He showered everyone with gifts, Adam receiving a Polaroid. Quill taught him how to use the camera and even took a selfie with him. Adam was so excited to show you his gift that he ran up to you and took a picture of you admiring the ballet slippers Quill gifted you with. Now, Adam’s room is covered in Polaroids of you and him, but he cherishes the photo of you smiling down at the slippers you loved dancing in.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) He would not be fond of self-deprecating behaviors from himself or a partner. Adam understood that everyone has their flaws, but it makes him sad when he sees others put themselves down because he believes that anyone can be redeemed. He is a prime example of second chances. That being said, he would have zero tolerance for anyone who picks on you or his friends. Adam has no problem putting bullies in their places.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Adam sleeps better when you and Blurp are sharing the bed with him. When either one of you is missing, his sleep gets disrupted. And when he isn’t fully rested, it affects his mood and performance on missions and everyday tasks. Something that helps when you are away is listening to songs that remind him of you and looking at Polaroids of you.

Navigation | Fanfic Masterlist | Adam Warlock Masterlist

#adam warlock #will poulter #guardians of the galaxy volume 3 #gotg vol 3 #adam warlock x reader #adam warlock x you #adam warlock fluff #adam warlock headcanons #adam warlock fic #adam warlock fanfiction #adam warlock imagine #will poulter x reader #will poulter x you #will poulter fluff #will poulter imagine #will poulter fic #fluff headcanons #fluff alphabet

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voguefashion · 6 months ago

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C. Z. Guest wearing a Mainbocher evening coat, with her dog Tiger at her Long Island home, photographed by André Leon Talley for Home & Garden, 1988.

#c.z. guest #mainbocher #andre leon talley #home & garden #1988 #fashion photography #fashion photoshoot #fashion #style #1980s

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fayegonnaslay · 1 month ago

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American socialite, actress, and fashion icon C. Z. Guest with actor Peter Lawford at a Palm Beach polo ball, 1961.

#palm beach #c. z. guest #c.z. guest #peter lawford #polo ball #country club #wasp #style icon #high society #jet set #beautiful people #beautiful places #beautiful things #palm springs #slim aarons #palm royale #socialite #polo #the shiny sheet

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theverumproject · 5 months ago

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Alpha-Write Tag!

Thank you for the tag @agirlandherquill! That was a very good idea!

Tags: @creative-author @mrassassinscreedhimself @rivenantiqnerd @dragmewithyoutonirvana + open tag!

All lines are written with my Verum series in mind. Quite a few lines play much further in the future of the series though. A future that isn't written down yet.

A - “All gather around this pile of…! whatever it is”

B - “Bluctro is giving me strong femboy vibes”

C - “Could the weird guy over there please step out of my line of fire?”

D - “Death is a constant. I'm very happy about that fact right now”

E - “Excuse me, I need to go for little robots”

“But robots don't pee?”

F - “Fools will be fools… That must be our motto”

G - “Gay aliens for the win!”

H - “How the fuck are we supposed to land the ship on this shitty terrain!?”

I - “Is that supposed to be a giant worm?”

“...Giant is an understatement…”

J - “Jokes are not permitted within this section of the facility”

K - “Kinder chocolate still exists? Why did nobody tell me that?”

L - “Life is a must have!”

“Ugh, when will this trend finally end?”

M - “Manners, Dethra! Manners!”

N - “Nobody will ever find out who I just buried here!”

O - “Ordinary people don't exist anymore, do they?”

P - “People these days don't know how to respect over 2000 year old people anymore”

Q - “Questions after questions… Do I look like fucking Google to you? Well… I suppose I do kind of function like Google… Ask away, I don't mind. Don't have to think about the answers anyway”

R - “Round… 32? 33? 34? Hell, if I could remember after beating each other up since… How long has it been?”

S - “Stareater approaching us directly. Coming from the direction of the Helix Nebula”

T - “Tell us again how exactly you got up there?”

U - “Underwear exists on your planet!? How come I've never seen any of your kind walking around in it?”

V - “Various guest already left bad reviews on this space hotel, seems like we aren't gonna be the first”

W - “Wow!”

“...”

“That's a reference to SETI!”

X - Xylophones? You ordered me a bunch of xylophones for my birthday? I've never seen a xylophone with my own eyes my entire life! Thank you so much, my love! I'm so happy to finally be in possession of a bunch of Xylophones so soon!

Y - “Yarr! A fleet of space pirates on starboard!”

Z - “Zrrrriiii'Klaaaa, Zrrrriiiii’Klaaaaa… The fuck does your name even mean?”

"We've known each other for years and this is the first time you ask!"

#writing #writeblr #writers #writers on tumblr #writing community #writer #author #ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 link #tag game

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thelensofyashunews · 5 months ago

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Megan Thee Stallion Releases Long-Awaited, New Album “MEGAN”

Today, three-time, Grammy award-winning artist, entrepreneur and philanthropist Megan Thee Stallion unveiled her new album, MEGAN, which includes collaborations with Victoria Monet, GloRilla, UGK, Big K.R.I.T., Kyle Richh and Yuki Chiba.

With the album, Megan continues to showcase her versatility and global reach as a musician, teaming up with Japanese hip-hop artist Yuki Chiba on “MAMUSHI.” The pair recorded the song during the Houston native’s trip to Tokyo earlier this year.

Megan also secured an appearance from Bun B and a posthumous verse from the late-great Pimp C for a special UGK collaboration on “PAPER TOGETHER.” It’s a full-circle moment for Megan, who grew up listening to the Port Arthur duo and has called Pimp C one of her favorite rappers.

The self-titled album also includes previously-released songs like “COBRA,” “BOA,” and “HISS” – the latter of which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 earlier this year and became the first-ever, solo female rap song to debut No. 1 on the Billboard Global 200.

The announcement also comes as Megan extends her prolific “Hot Girl Summer Tour” with a new date in Atlanta, GA at State Farm Arena on July 2 and a domestic finale in Charlotte, NC at PNC Music Pavilion on July 3. Tickets for the newly-added dates are available for purchase at store.megantheestallion.com.

To date, Megan’s tour has sold over 280,000 tickets and sold out 23 shows. Over the course of the tour, she has brought a wide array of special guests at select stops, including Cardi B, Latto, Flo Milli, Bun B, Paul Wall, Slim Thug, Monaleo, Lil Keke and Z-Ro. 

Rolling Stone highlighted Megan’s tour in a review, writing “few artists, like Megan, can rip into double-time rhymes without missing a beat, all while moving all over the stage, dancing.” Meanwhile, Billboard noted that “Meg’s showmanship shouldn’t be questioned. She embodies the value of playing the long game and why, sometimes, good things come to those who wait.”

“MEGAN” will mark Megan’s first studio album since Aug. 2022, when she released “TRAUMAZINE” that included collaborations with Dua Lipa, Key Glock, Jhené Aiko, Rico Nasty, Latto, Lucky Daye, Pooh Shiesty as well as Houston staples such as Sauce Walka, Big Pokey and Lil Keke. 

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wellthebardsdead · 6 months ago

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Clow True Good End (The blade of zariel)

After bargaining his soul with the devil Clow handed over the crown of Karsus to the hands of Gale, and from him Mystra. But having had his own chains broken, Wyll wasn’t going to allow his beloved to be bound to the hells forever, or for Zariels reign of terror to continue.

The three faced the hells together (with astarion tagging along to emotionally support Karlach) and tracked through legions of its denizens from lemurs to cambions alike, before finding their way to the ever growing, ever bleeding scab on the landscape, the bleeding citadel. Where inside the ghostly apparition of a holy knight awaited, the hellrider general Yael, and a choice, to be made. Who. Was worthy.

———

Clow: *staring at Yael as she stands aside, allowing the blade itself to decide his worthiness. Takes in a deep breath and approaches, grasping at its hilt and feeling a warm, gentle itch at the back of his mind, tugging on his joy, his happiness, his sadness, his anger… to communicate with him* hello?…

“You, are worthy… but is this, what you desire?”

Clow: I… I’m not sure… I don’t, yet even know who I am. I’ve only really just gained my freedom… c-can my friends try? And we’ll, make our decision?…

“You may…”

Clow: *let’s the sword go and looks at Wyll*

Wyll: I doubt it will allow me given what Mizora made of me, and if one of us changes, we’ll be made immortal, and no level of power would ever make me want to live forever without you my love…

Clow: but think of all the good you could do for the sword coast! The refugees of elturel would see you as a beacon of hope that there’s still good for them after Zariels betrayal. The sword said I’m worthy and if I’m worthy after everything my former owners made me do then… then surely it’ll forgive you for what mizora tricked you into doing?…

Wyll: *looks at him, then at the sword, then at Karlach, clearly lost in her own mind as she stares at the blade* …You try it Karlach… you deserve a choice at last… you’ve been in this hell of a prison for too long…

Karlach: I’ll… I’ll have a heart again right?… z-zariel will never be able to hurt me again right?…

Yael: if the sword so chooses you as worthy, and you accept. Yes.

Karlach: *nods and steps forward, taking it in her trembling hands as she whispers her families word for love, thinking of her parents* taters.

“You. Are worthy.”

Wyll: *quickly covers Clows eyes and pulls him in close shielding him as the swords radient light swallows Karlach whole, her body shifting and changing to that of a celestial. Huge wings erupting from her back as an angelic presence becomes her. Still Karlach, but stronger* d-did it work? *blinks and looks up as the glow fades and he takes in her form*

Clow: *looks up and adjusts his eyes to take all of her in* a-are you still Karlach?

Karlach: *smiles at them both as she pulls the sword from the earth* I’m going to kick Zariels. Fucking. Arse.

*meanwhile outside*

Astarion: *staring up at the bleeding citadel* … *licks it* …hm.

*6 months later*

Karlach: *excitedly chatting with Aylin, flexing her muscles and wings for her to compare with her own but mostly for Astarion as her small vampiric boyfriend swoons over her*

Clow: *smiles watching them as he sips his wine slowly, humming as Wyll cuddles from from behind* Raphael gone, zariels head on a pike, hope free at last, and us finally getting a moment of peace. Arent you glad I pulled you away from running a city, grand duke Ravenguard~?

Wyll: heh, it’s going to take some getting used to still. But I’m honoured to have my fathers title, and even more so to unite it with your family name.

Scratch: *suddenly runs by in a panic*

Clow: where’s he off to? *looks over seeing a large panther approaching, and beside it a drow about his height and with a ridiculously similar face to his own hidden beneath a green cloak* oh- whose? That??

Withers: I took the liberty of inviting a few added guests, some you may be more familiar with than you realise.

Astarion: *stops swooning over his future wire for just a moment as he immediately recognises the elf by description alone and screams in an almost falsetto* OH MY GODS! ITS DRIZZT DO’URDEN!!!

Clow: My uncle?

Drizzt: *pulls off his hood in disbelief showing they’ve identical faces, his nephew just having an icy blue complexion compared to his* Gods, my sister really was pregnant… Clopin? *steps closer holding his arms out cautiously* I’m so sorry I never-

Clow: *runs to his arms and hugs him tight, laughing through tears* I’ve always wanted to meet you!

Literally everyone: YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH?!

#nobody believed they were related lol #Clopin Do’Urden #Clow Tav #Clow oc #Clow Do’Urden #drizzt do'urden #wyll bg3 #karlach bg3 #astarion baldurs gate

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fashionbooksmilano · 7 months ago

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Slim Aarons # A Place in the Sun

Introduction by Christopher Sweet

Abrams Books, New York 2005, 260 pages, 250 colour photographs, 26x31,5cm, ISBN 9780810959354

euro 75,00

email if you want to buy [email protected]

A Place in the Sun collects Slim Aarons’s photographs capturing the glamorous lifestyles of some of high society’s most prominent people.

“Slim Aarons is known for his dreamy lifestyle photographs of celebrities and socialites in jaw-dropping locations around the world.” —Architectural Digest

Since 1940 Slim Aarons has been hard at work, first as a war photographer, then with unprecedented access as a photographer to the rich and famous. In this book, he develops the environmental portrait to the level of art, always showing his subjects in their natural setting, in a circumstance synonymous with their station in life.

Aarons documented a particular world that has vanished. A Place in the Sun is that special glimpse of privilege under a bright and beaming sky, whether on sandy shore, snowy slope, or elegant home where cares are few. Through 250 stunning color pictures, Aarons provides a veritable Who’s Who of high society: Aristotle Onassis with his first wife, Tina, and their children, C. Z. Guest at her villa in Palm Beach, the Aga Khan at his Sardinian resort, Truman Capote in Palm Springs.

From Mustique to Monaco, from Aspen to Gstaad, only Aarons can take us on a journey to the most exclusive playgrounds of the rich, inspiring even the most jaded armchair traveler.

Aarons never used a stylist, a makeup artist, or anything but natural light. Since the settings encouraged swimwear, it is astonishing how beautiful these men, women, and children were. There is a shimmering sensuality about this bygone world. Astonishing, too, is the vibrant intensity of the colors.

14/04/24

#Slim Aarons #A Place in the Sun #photography books #RDP #Onassis #Aga Khan #C.Z.Guest #R #Truman Capote #fashionbooksmilano

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wouldntyou-liketoknow · 9 months ago

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My EgoPats Meeting the Canon EgoPats (Brought To You by Incorrect Quotes)

Yep, I finally decided that this post deserved to be expanded on. So, to absolutely no-one's surprise, I gave it the ol' college try with memes.

___

[Caliban has just returned from visiting Theory Manor. He’s now ranting to Murdock about WarfPat]

Caliban: Listen to what one of my STUPID doppelgängers did! Caliban: Apparently one of his “guests” ended up dying in his studio, and he offered the body to me. And since we’ve been in-between jobs lately, I was like, “Sure, why not?” Caliban: So, I cooked the best parts, then I went to town. . .and every two minutes, he added salt. Caliban: And it was weird. It almost tasted like sweet potato. Caliban: I asked, “Did this guy eat a lot of candy before he died? Or was he on drugs?” Caliban: And Warf said, “Noooo.” Caliban: Every two minutes, he added salt, salt, sALT, SALT! It was like he wanted to poison me! Caliban: And when I finished eating, he asked, “How did you like the human flesh wiTH SUGAR?” Caliban: . . .HE USED SUGAR INSTEAD OF SALT! Caliban: *starts shaking Murdock by the lapels of his overcoat* SUGAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!

___

[The EgoPats are using an Ouija board] The Detective: Tell us. . .is there an otherworldly creature in this house or on its grounds? LeviathanPat: *is right outside the nearest window, but has decided to use his powers to speak through the board before he actually starts talking* ¥ê§. MadPat: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. WarfPat: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. LeviathanPat: *genuinely caught off-guard* . . .Wåï†, WHÄ†—?!

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Mack: So, for that party I told the guys about. . .do you, uh. . . Patty/DancePat: Oh, are you not sure how to dress for it? Mack: *panicked* WHAT IS CLOTHES???

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[Caliban and The Hermit’s first meeting is going pretty well.]

The Hermit: —and then I said, “I didn’t realize that I would be having some guests. . .for dinner!” Caliban: *laughs* Ah, that’s a classic! Mack: *watching from a distance and ranting to The Detective* —no nO NO, we are NOT dealing with TWO OF THEM!

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WarfPat: Hey, new guy! Trick or ye— LeviathanPat: *conjures an Uno Reserve card* ñÖ

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The Detective: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I’m going to murder someone. Caliban: Sounds a little counterproductive.

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The Detective: I'm not doing too well. Penn/Pennsylvania: What's wrong? The Detective: I have this headache that comes and goes. [LeviathanPat manifests outside the nearest window] The Detective: And there it is again.

___

The Hermit: What is toothpaste if not bone soap? Caliban: . . .You are a complete and total treasure. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: We call that a traumatic experience. Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Detective* Not a “bruh moment” Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Hermit* Not “sadge” Pennsylvania: *turning to MadPat* And DEFINITELY not “oof lmao”

___

Mack: *scoffs* Clearly, you don’t own an air fryer. Clearly. Caliban: *chuckles dryly* I’m not gonna be talked down to by some arrogant, condescending, delusions-of-grandeur-prone SIDE-DISH. Caliban: If you want to insult me, go right ahead. But you have no idea how brutal that’s gonna get. You don’t even know my name! Caliban: *steps closer to Mack, almost getting in his face* I ' m t h e c o m b i n a t i o n o f y o u a n d a c r a z y i s l a n d h e r m i t f r o m a d i f f e r e n t t i m e l i n e .

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The Detective: Define “dream”. LeviathanPat: Ðrêåm—†hê £ïr§† †hïñg þêðþlê åßåñÐðñ whêñ †hê¥ lêårñ hðw †hê wðrlÐ wðrk§. The Hermit: Oh, c’mon! That’s just too dark!

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Ness: Do you support LGBTQIA+ rights? Patty/DancePat: . . .I’m literally a girlypop and exotic dancer?? WarfPat: He’s avoiding the question!

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MadPat: Gatekeep, girlboss, and. . .what's the other one again? LeviathanPat: †hêrê ï§ñ'† åñð†hêr ðñê. ¥ðµ'rê ¢råz¥.

___

Caliban: He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone! Ness: *taking a deep breath* I’m gone. Caliban: *nodding and grinning* Now gO CHOP HIS DICK OFF—

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Penn/Pennsylvania: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Mack: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

___

[The EgoPats are discussing a plan. Ozzie has taken his turn to speak, standing with a whiteboard at the head of the room] Ozzie: Anyone have any questions? Ness: Is this legal? Ozzie: . . .Anyone have any relevant questions?

___

The Detective: Are you seriously making human-bacon for breakfast?! Caliban: *looking away from the bacon-filled frying pan he’s using* Yeah. What’d you have for breakfast? The Detective: . . .Nothing. Caliban: *shrugs, returning his focus to the frying pan* I’m doing better than you, man.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: What’s up with you? Mack: What do you mean? Penn/Pennsylvania: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

___

[The Detective recently griped to Caliban about a recent case. Now Caliban is trying to convince The Detective to do something highly unconventional to make progress with said case.l]

Caliban: DO IT! The Detective: NOOOOO! GOD, PLEASE NO! Caliban: MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! The Detective: NO! Caliban: JUST— The Detective: NO! Caliban: — D O I T ! The Detective: N O O O O O O O ! ! !

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Patty/DancePat: I can't believe you've done this. . . Ness: I'm sorry, I didn't know—! Patty/DancePat: *on the verge of tears* YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I HAVE NOTHING PREPARED FOR YOU IN RETURN! NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE JERK!

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The Hermit: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Mack: Sure. . . The Hermit: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Mack: Okay? The Hermit: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Mack: . . . The Hermit: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio— Mack: Jesus, that one is a little— Caliban: *was just passing through but is now interested* No, no. Let him continue

___

[A plan involving paranormal investigation has gone terribly wrong, and The Detective is almost out of options]

The Detective: *begrudgingly holding a dark ritual* If you are here, speak to us! LeviathanPat: *slowly manifests outside the window. . .and starts singing “Don’t Stop Believin’.” With each lyric, his voice shifts in a very disturbing way* JÚ§† Ä ÇÌ†-Ä¥ ßÖ¥! The Detective: *grinds his jaw, having even more regrets than before* LeviathanPat: ßÖRñ ÄñÐ RÄÌ§ÈÐ Ìñ §ÖÚ†H—!

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WarfPat: What kinds of sounds annoy you? Ozzie: Are we talkin’ real sounds or imaginary ones? WarfPat: *now interested* Lets say imaginary. Ozzie: Spiders wearin’ flip flops.

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[MadPat is trying to talk killer-to-killer with Caliban. So far, he’s only succeeded in annoying Caliban]

MadPat: Every time I go out there, I feel like I do my best and they don’t! Caliban: *has heard all about how sloppy Mad’s methods are, how much evidence Mad always seems to leave behind, as well as how Mad trapped himself in a fire only to get caught by the police* Let me ask you a very fair question—What do you do successfully? MadPat: . . . Caliban: *raising an eyebrow* QUICKLY. MadPat: *scowls and storms off*

___

The Detective: You need a hobby. LeviathanPat: Ì ålrêåÐ¥ håvê å hðßß¥! The Detective: Terrorizing people is nOT A HOBBY!

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Ness: Ducks are better than rabbits. Penn/Pennsylvania: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. WarfPat: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Ness: We’re not talking about flavor, Warf! WarfPat: Flavor counts! The Detective: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Mack: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers. Who’s cozier? Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, but— Mack: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? MadPat: Why don’t we just take a rabbit and a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out? Penn/Pennsylvania: BECAUSE THAT’S ILLEGAL! MadPat: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT! Caliban: *sitting in the adjacent room, listening in on the debate. He’s not sure if Snare could get roped into it, because Snare is a hare and not a rabbit, but he’s still holding him protectively* . . .

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Ness: *calling up the stairs from the kitchen* I made lightly-fried fish fillets for dinner! The Detective: . . .Ness, it’s one-fifteen AM. What the hell? Ness: Do you guys want the lightly-fried fish fillets or not? Ozzie: *pokes his head out of one of the guest rooms* Well, I mean, yeah. Ness: So come downstairs before they get cold. Penn/Pennsylvania: *comes out of another guest room* Wait, you just made them? Ness: Yeah, I wasn’t tired, so I decided to make lightly-fried fish fillets. LeviathanPat: *has been watching/listening to all of this through the kitchen window* §å¥ "lïgh†l¥-£rïêÐ £ï§h £ïllê†§" ðñê mðrê †ïmê.

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Patty/DancePat: When you’re shopping at Lush and another customer comes in and bites one of the soap options because they think it’s cheese. . .I talked to one of the employees about it, and apparently this sort of thing happens way more frequently than you’d think. Mack: Well, if Lush stopped literally presenting soap as deli food, then this wouldn't happen so frequently. Patty/DancePat: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese??? The Detective: . . .Who goes to the deli section of a store and just takes a bite out of the cheese?!

___

[MadPat keeps trying to antagonize Caliban, as if THAT will somehow change Caliban’s opinion of him]

MadPat: *pacing the floor in front of Caliban* And I’m not gonna conversate with you! I’m not gonna invest time in— Caliban: *organizing some Black Market stuff on his laptop, not paying Mad too much attention* I think it’s “converse.” MadPat: . . .Huh? Caliban: *rolling his eyes* Just say “talk.”

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Ozzie: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia over here. MadPat: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Ness: . . .You guys can be terrifying sometimes.

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The Detective: Oh, you’re back from that outing. What’d you think of that Patty guy? Ness: I can’t remember how we got on the topic of beaches, but he referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." The Detective: . . . Ness: I don't know how someone so awesome can be so anxious all the time!

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Mack: You’re making fun of me now, aren’t you? Ozzie: What? Oh, no-no-no, Mack. I’d never—*suddenly points past Mack* MACK LOOK IT’S CALIBAN! Mack: *turns around in a panic* WHERE?! [As it turns out, Caliban is, in fact, nowhere to be seen] Mack: *blinks, pretty much frozen in place* Ozzie: *falls to the floor, laughing hysterically*

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The Hermit: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. Penn/Pennsylvania: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.

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Patty/DancePat: Yeah, so, my latest shift at the club was a little rough. Heh. . . Ness: *concerned* Why are you looking up? Patty/DancePat: I need to CRY, but my foundation cost FORTY-EIGHT DOLLARS.

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The Hermit: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Ness: Well. . .I mean, it’s frowned upon. Caliban: Yeah, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? The Hermit: *nodding along* That’s okay, right?

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LeviathanPat: ¥ðµ kñðw whå† Ì’vê rêålïzêÐ? The Detective: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? LeviathanPat: ñï¢ê †r¥, åñ¥wå¥—

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Ness: So they were just using me? Penn/Pennsylvania: I’m sorry, Ness. Mack: *trying to contain his amusement* You must feel pretty stupid right now. Ness: . . . Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, that’s a time-out. Mack: No, I was just trying to— Caliban: *using his meat cleaver to gesture to the corner of the room* Go sit over there! Mack: *walks away in defeat*

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Mack: *entering the room, unable to see what's going on just yet* I’m going to dunk on you— Patty/DancePat: *is wearing heels AND is currently practicing some new pole-dancing moves* You’d better bring a ladder, then.

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The Detective: *exhausted from supernatural shenanigans* Please, God, just let me have one peaceful day?! LeviathanPat: Öh m¥ GðÐ, ¥ðµ ågåïñ? Gïvê ï† å rê§†, ßµÐÐ¥! The Detective: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!

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Penn/Pennsylvania: A riddle for you, my friend! So it’s raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there—your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant lady who needs to go to the hospital, and the person of your dreams. However, your smart car only fits two people. What do you do? Ness: Oh, I’ve heard this one before! You lend the car to your friend so they can take the pregnant lady to the hospital, and then you stay at the bus stop with your dream person! Penn/Pennsylvania: Oh, so close, but wrong. The correct answer is as follows—you go home and reEVALUATE YOUR DAMN LIFE! Penn/Pennsylvania: *grabs Ness by the collar and starts playfully shaking him* YOU! BOUGHT! A! SMART! CAR!

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[Caliban leads Mack over to a closet]

Mack: *walks into the closet* Um. . .what’s in here? Caliban: Oh, it’s just—*turns the room’s light off and grabs the door handle* —YOUR DEMISE. Mack: AHHHHH—! Caliban: *slams the door and locks it*

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@sammys-magical-au @insane4fandoms @b-is-in-the-closet