#c!techno imagine

[ks1971]

Split me open Pour your love in me Oh, it’s been a while since I've had a company Oh, it's been a while since someone touched me

[bleue-flora]

So in light of this post [here] about Dream breaking glass, I kinda got inspired to see how long it actually takes to break compared to obsidian.

Turns out that according to the Minecraft Wiki, it takes 250 seconds to break obsidian with just a fist, and Mining Fatigue III increases the breaking time by 370. So to break the obsidian in the cell it would take 250 x 370 = 92,500 seconds or about 1541 minutes or about 25 hours 41 minutes and 40 seconds. As for tinted glass, it takes 0.45 seconds to break (regardless of the tool without enchantments) which means with Mining Fatigue III it takes .45 x 370 = 166.5 seconds or 2 min and 6.5 seconds to break. That doesn’t seem like a lot in compared to obsidian but for reference, breaking obsidian with just a diamond pickaxe normally takes 9.4 seconds and ancient debris with a fist takes 150 seconds. So 2 min seems short but would feel like forever if you were actually playing Minecraft.

Another interesting thing to note is that mining blocks alone without moving doesn’t really decrease your hunger apparently so contrary to what I sometimes thought about, Dream would not starve while breaking. And if Sam really did deprive him of food for long periods of time, technically if he just didn’t move much he would be fine, however given how uncomfortable Sam was in Daedalus when he was hungry I imagine that while Dream could (and did) survive it wouldn’t be like he wasn’t still experiencing the unpleasant and adverse affects of starvation… so technically speaking in the realms of Minecraft for all the fanfics I’ve read where he gets to a point of not moving and starving to death, that actually wouldn’t happen for as long as he didn’t move around he wouldn’t starve.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

c!dream: i was just trying to give advice on how to make friends but noooooo that’s “illegal” and “breaking the law” and “kidnapping with extreme abuse bordering on torture” and “incredibly unethical” what the fuck

c!techno: that is literally not what happened.

[maxismp1]

Could you maybe do technoblade and fem reader? Where the reader is a secret goddess of snow and ice? They could meet on a day where techno is coming back from an adventure and the reader is just there in a clearing? Don't have to if you don't want to. Just tell me if not

-Hauntedfoxinternet

Think you for the request. I could do that, and I will.

The snowy sight

Techno's Point of view

Gathering materials is alright on its own. But. I do not wish to run out again, especially when Philza is visiting. Just one more hill and im home

As I'm walking I stumbled upon a clearing. That isn't supposed to be there.

Tell us about it... let him be.... look... woman... e... kill her...

'Shut up'

There was a woman There, in the middle. First time you guys are corect. Should I investigate or go home. Hm...

Third point of view

As Technoblade was thinking on what to do, his feet moved on there own. Soon he was behind a bush near the clearing. Rather said on the barrier of it. He was crouching and patiently observing the woman.

Creep.... stalker... e...kill it...

His voices were starting to cloud his mind. They became louder and louder until he saw the woman turn and smile. They became quite. That was rare.

'How did she see me?'

The questions started raising in his mind until he felt small snowflakes fall on his nose, then hair, then ears. It fully started snowing. But the thing is. It's only snowing above his head,nowhere else. He looked up in confusion only to find a small cloud forming above his head.

He looked at the woman again. Her hand was swinging in a small rhythm. Left. Right. Left. Right. Her smile never disappearing. He rose. Knowing his cower was blown away. The swinging of her hand stopped, so did the snow above his head. He slowly but confidently started walking towards her.

"How did you do that?"

He asked, if he was animated, there would be an big question mark above his head.

"Do what. This?"

She repeated the motion and the snow started snowing again, just above his head. Like last time.

"Yes. That."

"It's simple. Really. You just have to live long enogh"

The sweet smiled you had became a more gentle then before. His confusion became a frown. It was quite obvious, I can't blame him.

"I lived for 5 centuries... I saw lots of stuff, and lots of weird thing. I read many book and tales. I learned many things. And I haven't stumbled upon a gift like this one."

He said, the frown was replaced with a confident smile. His tusks showing off.

"5 centuries.... what a young lad I must say. You see. That isn't a lot. I lived far more then you my dear. But. Your ramble was correct Technoblade. You have to earn it. Not learn it"

"How did you know my name."

"How could I not know your name. You been living in my forest for quite some time. And I see you having the bear as your pet. Steve. Such a adorable name if I may say so."

"What do you mean your land. This no man's land. Im far from the smp, and other countries."

"This , no man's land, as you called it, it's mine. I created it. It's no one's yet mine because no one claimed it as they did to my dearest friends lands. Or as you call it. The dream smp."

"How do you know him? Who are you?"

"I am y/n, the goddes of snow. The owner of this land. The creator of North and south pole. And a creator of your dearest pet."

"I never heard about you"

"With time. People forget about you. I was worshipped. But now. There's no one. "

"You are a weird person."

"Thank you Technoblade. Now go along, your winged friend is at your house."

With that, the snow started forming in a spiral around you. The wind became worse and worse. Until a slight *fhush& was heard. And you were gone.

Took him some time to realise what just happened. Deciding to shrug it off and go home. He told everything to Philza. Both of them started discussing the moment that happend.

It has been few months since last saw you. But he could tell you were there. Constant feeling of being watch, yet no one around. The weather would always calm down when he had to gather materiel. And it would become worse and violent when a treat was near.

I hope you like what you read. Thank you for the request once again. They are open btw to any new readers out there. Feel free to comment and like.

Have a pleasant day or night my loves. Maxi out.

[269]

tech w his hair chopped. i have so so many feelings about piglin hair traditions my god

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Oh hey, before I forget again, I found the most c!Tommy song of all time.

Here, go listen to it bc IT'S THE ULTIMATE C!TOMMY SONG, WHAT THE FUDGE-

[metrixnos]

enamored with the life under the waves

[maaayhaps]

Techza lab rat au in which Techno has never NOT known the lab. He was born in it, raised in it and he was their first and most efficient subject. He was born a hybrid between a piglin and a human, a being that was genetically selected because he had the best of both worlds: the appearance, speech and intellect of a man, with the brawn and brute of a beast. He has never craved anything else because he never KNEW there was anything else.

That was, until the avian came.

Someone who, different from him, knew the outside. Knew what freedom, TRUE freedom was like and wasn't about to sit down and let himself be tested like he was just a mere *animal*. And someone who wanted to escape as soon as he could.

[ashleyeveerson]

crying about DMSP at 3am in the year of our lord 2024... good GOD

[lebada]

imagine not enjoying dnb or garage. what a pitiful half-life to lead

[sing-me-under]

When will the XD finale arrive so I can get a confirmation on the exact nature of Season Two because I’ve been running on the interpretation that c!Tommy and c!Dream are either straight up dead or totally reset and not memory loss because I fucking hate the amnesia narrative for disc duo.

I think it’s a stupid take because the whole point was for the CCs to not be burdened by their characters’ dynamic, so projecting the S1 characters onto the S2 versions isn’t fair to the CCs or their Cs.

I can see a total reset or straight up new characters for disc duo (and probably Tubbo and Jack), but I’m also curious as to how the other content creators (specifically the Eggpire group) will continue into S2 because we know that their lore will be continuing.

So far, what I understand is that The Incident (which isn’t the Nukes) will be causing memory loss of some kind but that The Incident will be referenced repeatedly in the future. An amnesia plot for many of the other content creators aside from disc duo isn’t surprising to me because they already had amnesia plots ingrained into their S1 lore.

[bleue-flora]

Techno: “Bruh… that’s why you’re so grumpy, man.” *tosses blanket*

Dream: “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

i wonder how many times c!techno has woken up to c!dream 'to be fair i don't even sleep' just sitting there and staring. and how many times techno has just gone '...bruh' and tossed a blanket over dream's head and went back to sleep while dream is asking techno what is wrong with him. i feel like it's at least four or five times.

[hitracks]

Can we see a c! Wilbur design maybe? (If you're chill w/ it) Or Technoblade and Philza?

I’m planning on doing a whole separate ref for Wil at some point so I will do both Blade and Philza for you… im really really normal about Techno like really serious I promise you. ( <- lying through his fucking teeth. ) LOTTTTS OF DESIGN PARTICULARS WITH HIM. I deviate a lot from his skin ( for one I get way too engrossed with drawing animals so humanoid it is. ) but I make his outfit more errr. Flashy…? Also southern inspo all over this bitch. as a southern man myself I am forced to give him ( modest ) matador esque pants and a bolo …. I think putting him in that is hilarious cause the closest things piglins have to bulls are fucking hoglins LMFAO. Imagine him in a Nether rodeo … terrifying … Away from design in general I love his character sooo much. I think its important to keep his funny nerd qualities when designing him. Like techno is a beast with technical skills and combat but if you ask him to sit in a room with more than about 3 people he starts sweating. Make him a little loser guys … hes got like one friend total and lives in the middle of nowhere in the snow as a Nether mob. Nothing normal about him. No bitches and no gains …

PHIL …. ghh … I have an unpopular take on him because i dont find him very fatherly. Hes more like an estranged uncle who dgaf about his kids. Shanks from one piece if you will. As much as I like his dynamics, for his character I feel like people are constantly glossing over the fact he isolates himself on purpose away from everything and everyone so he doesn’t have to deal with it … Him and Techno are so close because 1) They’re both crazy fucking good at everything and 2) Neither of them WANT to interact with others outside of themselves usually. Techno most often times only talks to people for his own personal gain or when he has no choice … Philza just get dragged into everything cause Wilbur is like a damn blight on the world. IDK! I wish people made him more aloof or terrifying because the concept of him is so genuinely freaky like hes got spies everywhere all the time and could or could not be immortal or some sort of biblical creature like THATS SCARY!!! I tried to mess around with him being green and the Minecraft equivalent of souls ( exp drop when you die ) being the same shade-ish …. Hes just some eldritch horror to me. Not explainable by mere words…

[justcallme-ange]

Since it’s Dream’s birthday I’m just thinking about how c!Dream spent his 22nd in the prison with c!Techno. I imagine he sang for c!Dream

It was a quiet affair - but Techno tried to make it special. He gave Dream his crown to wear, telling him that while he didn't believe in monarchies, he'd make an exception "cuz Birthday King's had their own rules." He tried his best to clean Dream up, braided his hair. And then gifted Dream his cape. Then they sat together (ie. Techno bundled him up into his lap) while he softly sang Dream 'Happy Birthday'. (If Dream's eyes were suspiciously wet in the end - no one said anything.)

To date Dream still says it was one of the best.

[bella-goths-wife]

So if Alastor made a deal with Vs pet before going missing for 7 years how would she be at the hotel?

What would have happened if alastor made a deal with Vs pet before leaving

Warnings: obsession, bad foreshadowing, violence?

In all honestly, if alastor had ran into you again before disappearing he would have made a deal with you

You intrigued him in a way that he hadn’t felt in years, the familiarity he felt towards you almost made him nostalgic

But let’s say he did offer you a deal on the day you met

It would be something similar to your deal with vox, your soul in exchange for food, water, shelter and protection

He’d give you a small cottage away from the city and close to the cannibal colonies, somewhere where you could live without the worry of being hurt or killed

Your fridge would always be stocked with food every week and you had all the things you could need in the cottage with you

Now you expected there to be a huge workload after you found out what a prominent demon alastor was, but all you had to really do was be his assistant and help him with his broadcasts

You were his assistant for a few weeks before he disappeared and suddenly you were alone again

You were still taken care of in the essential ways, your always had food and water in your little cottage and Rosie checked up on the cottage once a week to make sure you were still alive and safe

But you were lonely, so you started to help out Rosie in the cannibal colony every now and again

And you continued like that for seven years, until alastor finally returned

Rosie had let you know about his return and warned you that he would call on you soon and not to ask him to many questions

It was whiplash for you, one minute you were making some tea in the kitchen and the next you were standing in the hotel lobby with a look of shock

Alastor introduced you to everyone and informed you that you’d be staying at the hotel with him to help Charlie with her vision

You were mainly there to help alastor and be his entertainment, but you did help nifty with chores and even cooked meals for everyone

Charlie was ecstatic to have a younger soul with them and claimed that you’d be perfect for redemption

Her girlfriend, vaggie, on the other hand was extremely cautious around you since you were associated with alastor

Husk knew of you from whispers from some of the other souls alastor owned

At first he pitied you since he knew what it was like to be leashed by alastor, and then he saw how much alastor favoured you and treated you much nicer than he treated any of his other souls

Husk couldn’t help but feel bitter of the fact that he was in a much worse situation than you, but he eventually grew to like you since he understood you were practically a kid compared to him and he wouldn’t wish his fate on anyone

You and angel wouldn’t be as close as you were if you were the Vs pet, but you’d both still be friends

Alastor wouldn’t be fond of sharing you with the rest of the hotel since you were there to be his entertainment, but when he made comments about it and gave you an unnecessary workload he got a very harsh scolding from Rosie

I believe that alastor would become like a mentor to you, almost fatherly but not too much

It’s canon that alastor would be a terrible father but a great mentor so I could see him teaching you how to use your power to its full extent and he’d like combining your powers together

I like to imagine that when you and alastor combine your abilities then it would start off as a 1920s jazz music sound and would contain techno beats when you join in

Your relationship with alastor would be almost parallel to yours and vox if you were the Vs pet

It would be less cruel and you’d be much happier, but there would still be a hint of obsession in the relationship

Alastor would definitely be somewhat possessive of you in a certain way, the same way a male deer is protective of its children

He’d like getting to know you and finding out what the connection was between you to

The Vs would absolutely despise you since you were associated with alastor and the first time they met you was through one of Vox and alastors fights

So overall I think you’d be much happier and safer with alastor but that doesn’t exclude you from still feeling like a pet

But at least with this path, you’d have a chance at redemption for you

That’s if alastor didn’t drag you back from the pearly gates by a leash

———————————————————————

“And this little dear is my darling assistant” is the first thing you hear as your pulled from the shadows, you could recognise that voice anywhere.

One minute you were stood in your lovely kitchen and now your stood trying to take in what seems to be a hotel.

You try and hide your surprise as you turn to find your owners crazed grin staring down at you.

“What am I doing here alastor?” You question with a confused tone. You know you shouldn’t question him, Rosie had warned you against it, but you couldn’t help your curiosity “where have you been?”

Alastors eye twitches in what seems to be irritation as he stares down at you, you could see a cat demon behind alastor wince in what looked like fear before alastor wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“Nevermind that, my little doe” alastor says with an over exaggerated laugh “I’ve brought you here because Charlie here has an idea to redeem demons, truly laughable I know but I’ve taken it upon myself to help her achieve this pipe dream”

Alastor laughed with radio static as a background before turning you to look at him once again.

“And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it without my dearest little fawn” alastor said with a grin as his claws pinched your cheek in what could be seen as threatening or playful, you gave up guessing a long time ago “so from now on you’ll be staying here and helping me with this hotel, okay dear?”

You simply nodded at his question, knowing you had no grounds to refuse your owner. You had to play the loyal pet once again.

“Perfect” alastor said with pep in his tone as he let go of you and face you in the direction of the bar “now run along and get to know the others while I talk with Charlie about your rooming arrangements, I’ll call you back when I need you”

You nodded as you begin walking to the bar and you take a seat next to an extremely tall spider man who eyes you with curiosity. You’re in front of the cat demon from earlier who also regards you with intrigue.

“Hi” you say almost shyly as your ears remain pinned against your head, you hadn’t talked to someone other than Rosie or alastor since you made your deal and this entire experience was outside your comfort zone.

“Heya toots” the spider demon spoke unsurely as he looked down at you “where’s smiles been keepin’ you then?”

“Hm?” You make a questioning sound as your head tilts in a confused manner

“He means he’s not seen you around, no one has” the cat demon clarifies with a gruff tone “it’s weird for alastor not to cash in on a favour from his souls, angel here wants to know where alastors been keepin’ you”

“Oh” you say with a confused look “I don’t think he’s kept me hidden exactly”

“Well I only heard about you through whispers, but I assumed it was just rumours” husk responds gruffly “no one knew alastor had an assistant until a few days ago when he mentioned bringing you here”

“Didn’t think smiles had it in him” the spider, angel, comments before looking you up and down “your a bit young for him though, don’t ya think husk”

Husk nods cautiously as he takes in your appearance, you couldn’t have been been more than eighteen.

“It’s not like that” you assure with a mildly disturbed face at the thought of the insinuation

“Than what are you to smiles toots?” Angel asked curiously “because he certainly seemed fond of you”

You think for a moment on how to explain your connection with alastor before speaking cautiously

“Well, I’m his-“ you were about to answer but alastors call interrupted you.

“My dear” alastor called for you “don’t you think it’s time you and I set up for a broadcast”

You nod as you abandon the two demons to walk beside alastor on his way to his radio station, like a loyal mutt being called back into the house.

“I think it’s time I show that pesky TV that radio still lives” alastor comments as he puts his hand on your shoulder and guides you “and with my perfect little assistant, I’m sure my broadcast will be as great as ever”

[ukraineblr]

This is seriously a new level of being a douchebag.

- You directly undermine Ukraine's defense effort by turning Starlinks off for the Ukrainian military right in the middle of important operations and letting the Russian military use it despite U.S. sanctions

- You spread the most idiotic "nuclear war" takes whispered to you in the ear by the Russian ambassador in the U.S. and even Putin himself

- You give voice and listen to the most insane conspiracy theorists talking about "proxy war", "biolabs", "deep state", and "money laundering", as well as blowhard demagogues and media con artists openly praising Putin and his regime

- You use your multimillion-stong global audience to directly propagate the Ukrainian surrender to Russia's war of aggression and publicly ridicule Ukraine's calls for international defense aid in its war against one of the world's largest military powers

- You directly undermined U.S. aid to Ukraine and publicly called for "killing" a long-belated aid at the U.S. Congress despite Ukraine running critically low on air defense and munitions because you and your arrogant yes-men had decided that "Putin just can't lose"

And when the situation deteriorates, particularly due to months-long delays in the most essential and urgent defense aid, this shameless douche says "I did predict it" (while again completely ignoring the fact that POLITICO makes it perfectly clear that Ukraine is 'heading for defeat' due to the West's failure to send weapons to Kyiv).

No, Elmo, you did not 'predict' anything.

You precipitated this.

This war started with Ukrainians praising you as the free world's techno hero and naming streets after you.

Now you have degraded yourself to being one of Russia's key useful idiots amid the most terrible and the largest European war of aggression since Adolf Hitler.

Keep listening to the likes of Ian Miles Cheong and David Sacks and dive deeper into your delusions and absolute moral bankruptcy.

We in Ukriane have seen our share of smartasses giving us between 48 and 72 hours two years ago.

In this war, we've been through so many impossible things that you can't even imagine, let alone "predict".

We will overcome this too -- and will get the aid, will survive as an independent nation and a democracy, and will bring peace back to Europe by derailing Russian aggression.

(c) Illia Ponomarenko