#c!renthedog

[echoedchamber]

Got bored and drew @cherrifire‘s dtiys :] it was really fun to draw and mess around with the colors

[boatboysrowout]

i am So Very Interested in the burger king vs mcdonalds au if you're willing to share more 👁️👁️

i'm so glad you asked

it's all grian's fault, of course. 'it'll be great if all my friends got a summer job around the same place!' he said. 'it'll be fun hanging out on our lunch breaks!' he said. 'this is a genius idea, nothing will go wrong!' he said.

it goes wrong in less than a day.

it all starts with scar's job application getting rejected from burger king. he takes this very personally, as the man who interviews him is grian's friend who had just been hired the day before, and scar had been assured he would get an easy in. ren, however, didn't like how many questions scar was asking about their ice cream machine and where their security cameras were placed.

so out scar goes, sulking his way through a successful interview to work at the white castle down the road, joining bdubs and cleo. the rest of grians friends end up scattered in shops around the two restaurants with varying degrees of satisfaction with their summer jobs.

grian, as he is wont to do, waffles around a bit before committing to a job. he's pretty sure he's going to join bigb at the library, but before he decides, he goes to pay scar a visit to make sure he's still not sulking about the burger king fiasco.

that, too, is a mistake.

grian doesn't know what happened. he swears he just meant to stop in and say hi. and maybe play a little prank! just a funny little joke! only he didn't realize how much hair spray bdubs uses and how flammable that made his hair, and really, how could grian have known that the second after he fled the scene of his crime, scar would walk in at the exact wrong moment holding a lighter, making him look like the guiltiest motherfucker on earth?

it's absolutely not his fault.

but.

now scar is out of a job again, and he's gotten it in his head that the only way to get his revenge on ren is to work at the mcdonalds across the street from the burger king and, to quote scar, "make him regret not taking my offer." and listen. this is the third job scar's had in two days. it kind of feels a little bit like grian's responsibility to make sure he doesn't get fired from this one too. but it'll be fine. what else could go wrong?

so much. so, so much.

scar almost immediately goes off the rails. he creates his own customer rewards program in which he refuses to serve a customer if they don't pledge their undying loyalty to the mcdonalds in exchange for scar certified McReputation points. this somehow is remarkably successful despite grain's repeated warnings that this is a scam- scar pulls some strings and grian is forced into kitchen duty after he tries to warn one too many customers. martyn and ren catch word of this and try institute a similar program, albeit to a much less successful degree. scar, however, cannot let that stand.

grian also cannot let that stand, but this is more due to martyn coming over every day during his lunch break and annoying grian by telling increasingly convoluted jokes all ending with a punchline relating to the mcdonald's broken ice cream machine.

so that afternoon grian and scar pay the burger king a visit. scar goes up to the front counter and gives ren and martyn the longest sales pitch of his life, something about cereal, and while they're distracted grain climbs through the drive through window and smashes their ice cream machine with a baseball bat.

that's the beginning of the end.

ren takes the attack way too personally. he gets naked, makes martyn crown him with a shitty cardboard crown, dubs himself the burger king, and declares war on the mcdonalds.

he and martyn set out to recruit for their army amongst the rest of their friends in the area to varying degrees of success. they first go to visit joel in his art shop, but quickly decide to leave after the first thing they hear upon walking in is a conversation in the back room in which someone appears to be blackmailing joel over something in the basement.

they decide to try impulse and tango down at the arcade, and both of them are so confused by ren's sales pitch they just agree to make him go away (they do the same thing when scar and grian visit them a few hours later).

ren and martyn's visit to the white castle is the worst yet. instead of walking in and recruiting bdubs and cleo with their impassioned speech and thirst for justice, the burger king and his hand walk into an active warzone.

there's smoke everywhere. bdubs is screaming. martyn swears he hears a gun go off. cleo is cackling. someone runs past them entirely engulfed in flames. as ren and martyn make a hasty retreat etho cheerfully greets them from his seat on a bench outside the building, tinkering with something that looks suspiciously like a pipe bomb.

they decide to take a break from recruiting after that.

meanwhile, scar and grian have been busy. they've recruited jimmy and scott from the florists down the road to launch a yelp smear campaign against the burger king, tanking them from a respectable 3.8 stars to 1 star in an afternoon. to a normal human being, this would mean nothing, but they text a screenshot of this to martyn and ren with the caption 'this u?'

martyn and ren have never once reacted to anything normally or proportionality in their life.

skizz, one of their regulars, also takes great offense to this. he insists that this is a devastating blow against the burger king's honor, and vows to get revenge.

no one's sure exactly how he does it, but within an hour he manages to trace one of the bad reviews back to jimmy and promptly doxes him, getting him fired due to the content of his surprisingly popular google+ account.

scar and grian, after laughing hysterically for an hour over the fact that jimmy was a google+ influencer, continue their reign of terror over the burger king by taking a selfie of them next to the burger king drive through menu, which they somehow have relocated to the roof of the mcdonalds.

it's the last straw for ren.

decked out in a red cape made of the burger king curtains and armed with a spatula and the fury of a thousands suns, ren marches across the street to the mcdonalds and challenges scar and grian to a winner-takes-all duel.

a crowd begins to gather, with nearly everybody grian knows save for the people involved in what has been dubbed the white castle war, forming a loose arch behind ren and martyn as they begin to chant for a fight.

grian and scar, who came outside to see what all the commotion was about, both predictably panic at the sight of two men in capes charging towards them backed by a crowd chanting for blood. grian tries to claw his way back up the roof while scar, possessed by the spirit of apollo, does the only thing he can and chucks a potato at ren's head.

that potato hits ren square in the forehead and knocks him out cold.

the crowd goes silent.

martyn, thinking ren is dead, drops to his knees and cradles his unconscious body close to his chest and dramatically confesses his everlasting love, vowing to never leave ren's side and to never stop spreading the tale of ren's 'grey long and strong' bits.

grian, upon witnessing this, realizes to his abject horror that he also has gay feelings for his manager.

he has no idea what to do with these feelings, and the crowd is still chanting fight, and he's experienced a lot of stress and unexpected emotions in the last five minutes, so he really can't be blamed when he turns on his heel and punches scar in the face.

scar, surprised but absolutely willing to go along with it, punches grian back, and they begin beating the shit out of each other in the most pathetic fist fight a mcdonalds parking lot has ever witnessed.

meanwhile, there's police cars and fire trucks with sirens on speeding down the road past them, and someone in the crowd realizes 'oh shit are those all going to the white castle?'

so the crowd immediately abandons the world's worst fight to go see what the hell has been going down in the white castle.

it takes a bit, but, with martyn still confessing his love and sobbing over ren's unconscious body, grian finally manages to land a lucky hit and knocks scar out, sending him crumpling to the ground. for the second time that day, grian realizes with horror what he's done, and frantically tries to run to get a medic only to trip over scar's unconscious body and knock himself out as well.

The headline of the local newspaper the next morning reads as follows:

...anyone wanna ask me about my last life mall au

[featheredenby]

Ransom

“You should drink more water.”

“You kidnapped me from my own house and blind folded me so that I can’t see you, just to bait heroes to come here.” Grian says, “I don’t think that you get to give me health tips.”

“To be fair there are a lot of people who would treat you a lot worse in a kidnapping.”

Written by: FeatheredEnby

Word Count: 2,368

Part Nine of: Show Your Fangs

A Superhero AU of Empires SMP/Hermitcraft/The Life Series/Artimator SMP

As the wind blows a missing poster flies into Scar’s face of course things like that happen when you’re on a roof but he needs to find Grian and for that it’s likely best to consult Grian’s other friends. As he only has one clue so far, a text message, “Whatever you do don’t trust C-Fire.” Scar climbs down from the roof and makes his way to Mumbo’s house where upon arrival he finds not only Mumbo but also Cleo. 

“Hotguy,” she says coldly upon seeing him, “What do you want?”

Stay in character Scar, “I’m looking into the recent disappearance of Grian Helios, I’m told that you two are close to him.”

“That would be correct.” Cleo tells him in an icy tone, “but why are you looking into this instead of the cops? Or his family members?”

Okay, I wasn't expecting that reaction. “Well it’s likely that this disappearance has something to do with the villains in this city and I don’t believe that his family members are well suited to deal with this.”

“Well you would be wrong in that regard as me, Mumbo, his half brother, his half brother’s boyfriend, his half brother’s adopted sister, and one of his coworkers are all working together to find him.” They inform Scar, “And you will find that all of us are perfectly competent so unless you have anything of value to give it would be best for you to leave.”

Scar could show her the text message but that would mean them learning that he’s Hotguy. At this point however when Grian has been missing for just over three days it’s worth it. “I have something that could be helpful.”

“Really?” Cleo asks skeptically.

“Yeah. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Mumbo pipes up.

-

“So you mean to tell me that you are Scar. As in the same Scar who is Grian’s roommate. And you also mean to tell me that the last text that he sent you on the night that he was kidnapped is not to trust the vigilante C-Fire?” Cleo asks.

“Yep that’s pretty much it, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.”

“Hm…”

“So where are you in the process of finding Grian?” Scar asks.

“We’re not doing very well, Mumbo?”

“Yeah,” Mumbo agrees, “I’ve been trying to hack into any files that could help figure out who took him but nothing has come up.”

“Wait what? Mumbo I know that you’re good with coding but how are you hacking into secure files?”

“Good point. Good point. But uhm, I would like to inform you that I did at one point hack into the comm system of the GFHA. As Well as getting into the files of the GFHA’s villain data.” Mumbo informs him.

“I’m sorry you did what?!?”

“Basically he’s the best hacker that we know.” Cleo tells Scar.

Knock. Knock. “Come in.” Mumbo says. Scar looks up and sees a strange assortment of people entering the room. First there’s the vigilante The Mayor and Grian’s coworker Joel and then there’s Cromia and Jimmy. The shock on The Mayor’s face is just too much. “Cleo,” she says, “You didn’t say that he Would be here.”

“That’s true I didn’t,” Cleo admits, “however I also didn’t know that he would be here and he brought information that could link the vigilante C-Fire to Grian’s disappearance.” 

“Mhm, and we should trust him because?” Cromia asks.

“Uh,” Cleo looks over at Scar, “Our dear friend Hotguy over here happens to know Grian personally. That’s all I’m saying on the subject matter.”

“Your point is? We all do.” The Mayor says.

“The point is that we all have a common goal, now does anyone have a clue where Pearl is?”

“Nope,” Jimmy says, “Something might have extended her shift at the hospital.”

“Okay then. Well we’re gonna split into groups, Mumbo’s gonna stay here and keep trying to find info online, Cromia you’re gonna go with Hotguy to keep an eye out at the park, Jimmy you and The Mayor are going to patrol the downtown area, and I’m gonna go over to the area’s where villains were last spotted.” They explain, “Got it. Good”

They break off into their groups and Cromia looks at Scar, “For the record I still don’t trust you.”

-

“You should drink more water.”

“You kidnapped me from my own house and blind folded me so that I can’t see you, just to bait heroes to come here.” Grian says, “I don’t think that you get to give me health tips.”

“To be fair there are a lot of people who would treat you a lot worse in a kidnapping.”

“True, but for all you know I’ve been able to scout out your hideout this whole time.” Grian tells him.

“Ha! Like you’d be able to do that our entire group is mutants and hybrids. You’re human and don’t have any powers.”

“Maybe that’s what you think,” Grian says while opening his incorporeal eyes and looking around the room, “I can tell practically everything that’s going on around me.”

“Uhm, and what exactly can you tell?”

“First of all I can tell that you aren’t wearing your disguise but you still have your mask on just in case my blindfold slips off. Second I know that the other two are watching this from over in the corner. Finally I know that I could easily take you all out as The Red Hand has bullet wounds in his wing and foot, C-Fire’s scythe is in the other room so she would only be able to use fire manipulation, and The Red King, who I’m assuming is the person that I’m talking to, is still dealing with the unpleasant side effects of a magically induced concussion.”

“How exactly did you know all of that?” The Red King asks him.

“Now why would I tell you that?” Grian responds, “Telling you that would just reveal information that you don’t need to know about me.”

“Maybe because you’re stuck in our hideout and completely at our mercy?” 

“Hm… Doesn’t seem like I’ll be for much longer though.” Grian says while checking around the perimeter and seeing Cromia and Hotguy coming around the corner.

“And why do you say that you’ve been missing for three days, what makes you think that will happen?”

To this Grian just laughs it’s not like these people will see that some of the local heroes and vigilantes are fast approaching the building. Now that Grian has backup and can easily get rid of these idiot’s memories about his secret identity it’s probably a good time to get on his costume. “Welp I gotta bounce.”

“What do you mean? You’re tied up and blindfolded.”

“Heh, that’s what you think.”

“What the-”

“𝙹ꖌᔑ|| ᓭ𝙹 i ᓭℸ ̣ ╎ꖎꖎ ↸𝙹リ'ℸ ̣  ᑑ⚍╎ℸ ̣ ᒷ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ʖ⚍ℸ ̣  ╎ℸ ̣  ∴𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ʖᒷ ∷ᒷᔑꖎ リ╎ᓵᒷ ╎⎓ ╎ ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ⊣ᒷℸ ̣  ᒲ|| ᓵ𝙹ᓭℸ ̣ ⚍ᒲᒷ.”

Just like that once again a purple light shoots from from Grian’s hands and just like at the masquerade party Grian is instantly in his Poultry Man costume. Within a second Grian uses his talons to unbind his wrists before ripping off his blindfold and running at The Red King. “What the you’re-” The Red King starts to stammer before Grian once again knocks him out. The Hand runs to tackle him but ends up tripping and getting his leg caught under a piece of flying rubble as Grian fires a grenade from a slingshot at him. At this point Hotguy and Cromia come bursting through the door, “Grian we’re- what the?!?”

“How did this happen!?!” Cromia screams.

“Don’t question it, I got him out of here!” Grian tells them, “Just get C-Fire!”

The “vigilante” is running over to her cherry blossom covered scythe and as she swoops down to grab it she narrowly misses an arrow that flies past her head. “Ugh… Jerk!” She yells as she throws her scythe at Cromia, he ducks down and the weapon’s handle hits his antlers before crashing to the floor. Within a moment Cromia sends an arrow from his own bow right back at her only for her to dodge and throw a fireball right back at him. As Cromia rolls away to dodge it Hotguy runs at C-Fire who is going to retrieve the scythe and Grian flies down to try and pick it up. C-Fire reaches the scythe first and swipes it up before turning around and hitting Hotguy with its handle before spinning it in the air and slicing his side with it. “Hotguy!” Grian screams while swooping down and out of instinct grabbing his gun and shooting at C-Fire hitting her in the arm before she runs away. Grian lands next to Hotguy and clutches onto him, “Oh no,” Grian whispers, “NO! Not again… not again.”

“I’m fine,” Hotguy reassures him, “Really I’m fi-”

-

That high pitched beep that happens when a character wakes up in a movie plays.

Grian watches as Hotguy’s eyes flutter open as he lays down on a couch in the employee’s lounge of Cleo’s cafe. Hotguy attempts to sit up only to have to lay back down because of the bandage around his waist. Grian picks up a cup of tea that he made for him and hands it over, “Hey,” Grian says gently, “How are you feeling?”

“Not the best,” Hotguy admits, “What exactly happened again- Wait your-”

“Cuteguy?” Grian finishes.

“Wait, so why did you stop being Cuteguy to be Poultry Man?” He asks.

“Well, I’m sure that you remember the incident that happened a few months ago.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well the whole idea that I had almost killed you kind of weighed down on me. But if you didn’t know that I was the person who almost killed you you couldn’t hate me.” Grian explains as his eyes start tearing up. 

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know I was being stupid, now can I finish my story?” Grian asks.

“Right, sorry.”

“I tore up my Cuteguy costume and used the symbol from the chest as a patch on an old pair of pants. Then I grabbed some supplies and headed out to remeet you. A week or so later of course there was the masquerade and I went in a drag costume so even then people wouldn’t recognise me, we talked some and then the fight happened. Afterward I was incredibly concerned for everyone who was there, especially for the people who I either knew their identities or who I cared about more about.”

“Like?”

“Well like my roommate or my coworkers,” Grian says, “But back on track, I heard that Grian Helios went missing and quite a few of the other vigilantes started to try and track him down. I normally work alone as Poultry Man and after the incident I got new powers from the magic possession mushroom shit. I used them to find him quicker, then of course the fight from earlier today happened and I was concerned that you would once again almost die. I forgot about being careful about my secrets and did my best to save you. I didn’t want to relive what had previously happened.”

Grian finishes talking and there’s silence until Hotguy speaks up, “You didn’t happen to see under my mask did you?”

“No, all though I will admit that I considered looking to see who you are.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Hotguy asks him.

“It’s not my secret to know, just like how I told you that I’m Cuteguy, that was my secret to tell. But I would only expect you to tell me who you are if you somehow learned who I am.” Grian explains.

“Hm… Are you gonna start being Cuteguy again?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Let me know if you do, okay?”

“Sure,” Grian tells him while standing up, “I talked to Cleo by the way, they’re willing to let you stay here until tomorrow if needed.”

“Okay, thanks for letting me know.”

“You’re welcome, Also… Thank you.”

-

Scar stands in front of the door to his apartment as he considers the conversation that he had with Poultry Man or well Cuteguy earlier. He could have seen who Scar is but he didn��t look, this is the second time that Scar almost died due to The Red Ones. It’s quite possible that either Cleo or Mumbo will just tell him that Scar is Hotguy but he doubts it, however there's someone else who Scar should probably tell. He shakily walks through the door and to his delight sees Grian sitting wrapped in a blanket on the couch. As Scar walks in, Grian looks up at him and smiles, “Hi Scar.”

“Grian!” Scar yells happily as he heads over, “Are you okay?”

“I mean the whole kidnapping thing was a lot to handle but I feel fine now.”

“Are you sure?” He asks while sitting down.

“Yeah really, I feel fine. Honestly it was kind of weird, The Red King tried to tell me that I don’t drink enough water.”

“Wait really?”

“Yep, I think that they were just trying to lure people there.”

“Hm…”

“You good Scar?” Grian asks.

“I- I think I know why this all happened.” Scar tells him.

“What do you mean?”

“I- I have something to tell you.”

“Which is?”

“Okay so you know how they kidnapped you?” Scar explains.

“Scar, I think that I know I was kidnapped.” 

“Can you keep a secret G?”

“Scar, you have no idea how many secrets I’ve kept.” Grian says.

“I- okay. I’m, actually nevermind.” Scar says.

“Okay?” Grian says in a confused tone.

“What?” Scar asks.

“Sorry, Sorry,” Grian laughs, “I was just expecting some sort of big reveal.”

“That makes sense.”

“So, you want to binge watch the life game movies tomorrow?” Grian asks.

“Sure, should we invite any of the others?”

“Totally.”

Okay maybe Scar was being a coward to not admit it, but to be fair that would probably break the contract that he signed with the GFHA. The last thing that Scar needs is to become a public enemy for breaking his contract.

[thatonefatgumsimp]

morning, gamers, I thought of another one last night, but was too tired to pick the phone back up (under the cut)

for some reason I think c!Ren would smell like sage and lemon. Or, in non-candle terms, shaving cream and barber's shops. Idk why I just feel like he'd be one to go to those often to get his fur cleaned and tended to and just be pampered in general.

Random Scarian content I thought of because I'm bored (under the cut):

OK so imagine this.

It's early morning. They're cuddling together. They're comfy.

Grian feels so much comfort. He feels loved. He feels...safe in Scar's arms.

He takes a deep breath and sighs in relief.

Scar: hey, G, out of curiosity what do I smell like?

Grian, letting out a small laugh under his breath: what do you smell like?

Scar: mmhm...

Grian: hm...well you smell like *deep, relaxed breath in* pine...

Scar, giving him a look like a confused puppy and just really curious: mmhm?

Grian, smiling: and *another deep, relaxed breath as he cuddles into Scar's chest more comfortably* fresh cookies...

Scar: oh, really?

Grian, contentedly: mmhmmm~

[greenix]

hermits in my class notes pt 2 featuring my incredible rendoc brainrot and a first try at drawing pearl, cleo and impulse

also. vote cleo

[oleander-neruim]

『Beast of Dogwarts,

Survivor of the Land.

War be upon ye

The King and his Hand』

Inktober Day 27: Beast

Full page, flat pen, sketch

I miss them

Where's my fucking dog

[mcytblrconfessions]

i've been consistently fixated on Renthedog for the better part of two years now, and it has only been halted by a recent fixation on my own c!clingy duo-centric dsmp au. everytime i see that cubito i feel like im staring at an ex who i know deep, deep down is my soulmate. then good luck babe by chappel roan hits me like a pile of bricks

[waitingawhile]

My ballot for this round:

1. Goodtimeswithscar (while I acknowledge the powerful c!Schlatt sexyman legacy, Scar is the Reigen of mcyt also an emo wizard and a buff guy who keeps taking his shirt of in the movie for no reason and evil sometimes. Barbie W)

2. CaptainSparklez (i must follow the sexyman criteria and not my heart.)

3. Docm77 (because I know nothing about him except for the fanart people draw and it fits the bill. I wanna know more about false tho so this is tentative)

4. RentheDog (simply put it is rendog)

5. Ethoslab (for the same reasons as #2. the way everyone prob had crushes on kakashi growing up and refuse to change his design beyond a maple leaf replacing the hidden leaf)

6. ScottSMajor (tumblr loves gay people. Also Jimmy is our ditzy lovable rag doll not a sexyman /lh)

7. MumboJumbo (no comment necessary imo)

8. I do not know enough about these ppl to pass judgment so I will follow the best campaigning like a sheep Pixlriffs

9. ZombieCleo (eret is lovely. not a sexyman. Cleo’s skin is literally the undead. Is this thing on 🎤)

10. Phil (I have to put aside my raging pearl bias given the phiddies legacy. Also I think my loyalty for pearl much like my loyalty for techno must be set aside here in the name of science) I FOLDED

1. LDShadowlady (for similar reasons to 6, bdubs is the scrunkle you dig a nice burrow for in the winter. Would you dig sans a dirt burrow? Not a sexyman.)

12. JoelSmallishbeans (simply put Joel v Lizzy with a Lizzy victory would be funny and I don’t think ranboo has what it takes to be the ult winner so he has to go at some point. do it now for the bit)

13. Joe Hills (bribery has won me over quickly and easily)

14. WilburSoot (you’re gonna tell me that what tumblr did to this man and his rp characters isn’t sexyman-ify them? Peace and love tango)

15. Grian Keralis ( Grian is thematically cecil adjacent. But I don’t think he should win overall by any means. To me he is too silly /pos.)

16. Quackity (what is Quackity if not the onceler. Sausage is a sexyman [intentional] but Q is a sexyman [inevitable])

MCYT SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT ROUND THREE

[ID: the sexyman bracket, with third round matches as detailed below.]

The polls will go live starting at 10AM EST, 8 February, 2023.

If you are just here to vote, not from tumblr, check here.

If you have questions about the tournament, check the FAQ before asking.

MATCHES (quick links to each poll added as polls are posted):

GoodTimesWithScar (1) vs Jschlatt (32)

Technoblade (16) vs Captain Sparklez (17)

Docm77 (8) vs FalseSymmetry (25)

RentheDog (9) vs Oli Orionsound (24)

Ethoslab (4) vs AimseyTV (29)

ScottSMajor (13) vs Jimmy Solidarity (20)

MumboJumbo (5) vs ImpulseSV (28)

Pixlriffs (12) vs Charlie Slimecicle (44)

ZombieCleo (2) vs Eret (31)

PearlescentMoon (15) vs Philza (18)

BDoubleO100 (7) vs LDShadowLady (39)

Joel SmallishBeans (10) vs Ranboo (23)

Joe Hills (3) vs Xisuma (30)

Wilbur Soot (14) vs TangoTek (19)

Grian (6) vs Keralis (27)

MythicalSausage (11) vs Quackity (22)

[moriiartist]

Hello! I wasn't sure where to submit a request so I apologize if it's the wrong spot! Feel free to delete. Since you were taking requests I wanted to ask for anything with Rendog. Anywhere your inspiration strikes is fine, there's not enough out there of him! Love your writing. Your Scar and Etho Christmas fics are two of my favs. Have a great new year!

‧₊ WEREWOLF RENDOG HCS

PAIRING: C!Rendog x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS: Headcanons for a werewolf Rendog that may or may not have a huge crush on you.

WARNINGS: Mild language(?), possessive behavior (not the bad kind, though)

A/N: Awww! I'm glad you enjoyed the fics! And, yes- you did submit to the right thing :) I hope you like what I've written for you, and happy simping my friend!

For as long as he could remember, Ren has been like... this.

At this point it’s not even something he’d even consider wrong with him- it’s honestly just a condition that he lives with, similarly to people with disabilities.

For the most part, Ren is a stereotypical lycanthrope: abundant and fast-growing body hair, sharper teeth and nails than the average human, enhanced sight and smell, and- oh, yeah- the uncontrollable ability to transform into a giant fuck-off wolf during the full moon.

It’s one of the Hermitcraft server’s not-so-secret secrets.

I mean, it’s not like he’s actually trying to hide his, er, ‘condition’ all that much, and everyone kinda knows that he’s not quite human, but nobody really bats an eye when they see a giant dog just zoom past them when they’re building late at night.

He’s basically just a huge puppy when he’s in his feral form. Multiple Hermits have had him just come up to them while they’re working, body wiggling from how hard his tail his wagging, and beg for them to throw him a stick.

Very cute, until you realize that he has no idea that he is not a lap dog and decides to flop his entire body weight into your lap.

Say goodbye to your legs, may they rest in pieces peace 😔

Ren never really worried about himself, fully accepting of all his quirks and flaws, until you came along.

You, who oh-so effortlessly never failed to steal the air out of his lungs with just a smile, you who sent him stumbling over his words and fighting off the urge to just bury his face in your neck and breathe you in.

Honestly, mans is whipped and it is absolute torture for him to hide it when all he wants is to wrap you into a bear hug and claim you as his own.

His instincts agree with his heart, too- making him a little more aggressive, a little more possessive than usual when you’re around the other Hermits.

He tones it down, though. After all, who’s to say that you wouldn’t be weirded out by his more animalistic behavior?

Naturally, though, when the full moon rolls around, it becomes a little bit of a different story when he’s in his more... uninhibited state, fully shifted.

It’s become so common for the other players to see him dutifully following at your heels that they don’t even question it anymore- not even you, who has to actually deal with a giant fluffy wolf man basically mother-henning you for the next twelve hours.

Once he shifts back, he’s more than a little embarrassed when he learns what ‘the mystery wolf’ had gotten into, flushing bright pink as you recount his antics from the night before with an oblivious grin.

“It was so funny, Ren. Poor BDubs was just trying to give me some of his extra cobblestone, but he just ended up getting chased around the build by an absolutely ginormous wolf instead! I couldn’t stop laughing at the end of it.”

“That does sound cool, my dude. Anyhoosle- do you know anything that would make a super awesome apology present? For no reason in particular, of course.”

Lord help this man, he needs saving from himself.

Even though Ren doesn’t want to cross any boundaries (he knows that he could never own you or force you to make any decisions except your own, and he’s a respectful person), he still finds himself becoming jealous when you come over to his base smelling like the other Hermits.

Expect him to practically throw his clothes at you whenever you see him, feeling a quite honestly unreasonable amount of pride whenever he sees you wearing something of his, practically drowning in his cedarwood and pine sap scent.

“Hey Ren, how’s it going-”

“Wear this.”

“What?”

“Wear. This.”

I mean, it’s cute how protective he gets over you, but it’s like- he does know that he’s the only one with a nose sensitive enough to notice that stuff, right?

He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit, I guess.

It’ll probably take him a while to work up the guts to confess, being self-conscious about the whole situation, but when he inevitably does it doesn’t take much to assuage his fears 😊

Your days will be filled with plenty of rib-crushing hugs and the usual Ren shenanigans- going along with the latest eccentric character that he invented, helping out with his totally not ominous at all chunk error of a build, and all of the affection that he can smother you in now that he doesn’t have to hide his feelings.

He even goes so far as to intersperse playful nips to your nose and ears with his kisses, unable to stop the lovesick grin that spreads across his face when you try to stifle your giggles.

At night, though, you’re not getting away with wriggling to your end of the bed, no no no: Ren is laying on top of you, one cheek squished against the top of your head, arms wrapped securely around your rib cage, and your legs tangled up together.

He’s only just got you- why would he ever let you go?

[ink-ghoul]

Ren skin change is so funny, because it implies he grew his arm and leg back

[griba]

I wish for one Rendog. That's all.

ha! joke's on you, you get TWO rendogs 😈😈 GET #TROLLED!!! >:D

double jokes on you, ren singing hit me baby one more time has also been on loop in my mind for Very Long so this was definitely influenced ;]

(click or tap for better quality/cropping)

[Image ID: two traditional colored drawings of RenDog. The first image is him drawn in a simpler style, holding a microphone and pensively singing, "Show me how you want it to be... Tell me baby, cause I need to know now, oh because-". In the next image, Ren is drawn in a more detailed style, confidently standing up with one arm extended while smiling and singing, "MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME, and I- I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE, still believe-". Both images have yellow boxes giving credit to the artist, cicicitrus. / End ID.]

[moriiartist]

Oops! I think you guys forgot that the slime guy is actually Jevin. Impulse is that one Hermit with a cat named Jellie!

I think Impulse is from the Hermit SMP, guy with red eyes?

no, thats tango tek. impulse is the guy who wears the doom guy suit.

[hermitclips]

heyyy c:

this is where i store all my mcyt clips (as the name suggests: mostly hermits!)

feel free to have a look around as well ^^

note: sources of clips (that i know of) will now be provided on top of posts

info on the tagging system here below!

> #not hermits: clips that dont include any of the hermits

> #not a hermitclip: posts that arent clips [do rmb to block this tag if you'd only like to see clips :) ]

> #hermit mention: clips that mention the hermits only by name

> #hermitcraft: clips from the hermitcraft server

> #mcyt: general tag for clips that dont fall under a specific smp!

> #irl hermits: clips including hermits in real life

>☆hermitclips greatest hits☆ : MY FAVS!!!

-----------------------------------------------

The hermits are tagged as followed:

Zombiecleo: #cleo

Joehills: #joehills

Grian: #grian

MumboJumbo: #mumbo

GoodTimeWithScar: #scar

ImpulseSV: #impulse

Pearlescentmoon: #pearl

iJevin: #jevin

Hypnotizd: #hypno

Xisuma: #xisuma

Welsknight: #welsknight

VintageBeef: #beef

Etho: #etho

Iskall85: #iskall

Zedaph: #zedaph

Tango: #tango

BdoubleO100: #bdubs

Keralis1: #keralis

Tinfoilchef: #tfc

xBCrafted: #xb

Docm77: #docm

Renthedog: #rendog

Cubfan135: #cubfan

Falsesymmetry: #falsesy

Stressmonster101: #stress

GeminiTay: #gem

-----------------------------------------------

other tags:

> #decked out: clips from the hermits' decked out runs

> #team canada: the name says it all

> #among us: clips from mcyt among us vods

> #a compilation!: when moments in the clips are from multiple different sources

> #stream moments: when the clip is from a stream!

> #answers!: my replies to asks ;)

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

V. Now that you did that Dogwarts fluff and just tore my heart out of my body.

The line about Martyn being Ren's heir. ;^;

Can I please get a fic where Ren ends up loosing his last life in Martyn's arms, passing his crown onto him and thus making Martyn the new Red king.

oca i hate you for making me write this /j /lh

…

The sun shines brightly over the battlefield, creating a stark juxtaposition with the raging battle between the Red Army and Flower Desert Alliance. Four vs four, everyone is fighting someone evenly matched to their own skills.

But it soon becomes clear that the Red Army are gaining an advantage. Grian and Etho are locked in battle, as are Scott and Ren. But Jimmy and Scar, both on their red life and extremely nervous about dying, are soon chased off by Martyn and Skizz respectively.

Immediately, Martyn turns to go and help his king, but as he does, he witnesses Scott knock the sword out of Ren’s hand.

“REN LOOK OUT!” comes Skizz’s frantic scream from somewhere behind Martyn.

But it’s too late.

Scott stabs Ren through the chest.

Ren makes no noise as he collapses.

Letting out a guttural scream, Martyn charges straight at the person who took down his king without mercy. A quick and ruthless kill.

Smajor1995 was slain by InTheLittleWood

Dropping his sword, Martyn throws himself down beside Ren and cradles him in his arms. “Stay with me, My Liege!” he cries, his voice cracking. “Stay with me!”

Ren coughs, blood trickling out the corner of his mouth. “I’m not long for this world, Martyn,” he rasps. “I won’t survive this.”

“Don’t say that! You have to hold on! Please!” Tears drip from Martyn’s eyes. “I can’t do this without you…”

“Yes… you can. I told you; I trust you t-to take care of Dogwarts when I’m gone. N-Now is that time.”

He reaches up and takes off his crown, before handing it to Martyn. “H-Here. I n-name you the new Red King.”

Despite talking about it with Ren for months, Martyn was never prepared for this day to come. He’s not prepared to lose his king.

He hangs his head. “Th-This is my fault… If I hadn’t k-killed you, you’d only be losing your s-second life right now, not your th-third. I’m not worthy to be your successor.”

“No.” Ren weakly grasps Martyn’s hand. “This is n-not your fault. Do not blame yourself f-for this, okay? I know y-you’ll be an amazing king.”

“No…” Martyn squeezes his eyes shut, releasing a full torrent of tears. “I c-can’t… I can’t lose you, Ren. Please don’t leave me…”

Ren gives a weak smile and reaches up to touch Martyn’s face with a shaky hand. “I’ll always be w-with you, Martyn. Always.”

Martyn holds Ren’s hand to his cheek, trying to hold on to his king for as long as possible. “Thank you, R-Ren,” he whispers, “for everything you’ve done for me. I’ll never forget you.”

He gets no response, and only a few seconds later, when he finds himself holding nothing but thin air, he realises why.

Renthedog was slain by Smajor1995

Wiping his eyes uselessly, Martyn rises to his feet and turns to face Etho and Skizz, who are standing a little way off. Etho has his head bowed respectfully but Skizz is crying openly, arms wrapped around his torso as if trying to hug himself, to soothe himself.

Seeing the crown in Martyn’s hands, Etho lowers himself to one knee, and after a moment, Skizz does the same.

Martyn lifts the crown to his eye level and gazes deeply at his own reflection in the shiny gold surface. He’s not ready for this. He knows that. But he also knows that he was never going to be truly ready.

Dogwarts needs a leader. He can’t let Ren down.

He places the crown on his head and stands up straight. Etho and Skizz simultaneously rise to their feet, holding out their swords in a gesture of respect.

Martyn brings his cloak around to the front and tears it all the way across, creating an effect similar to the one Ren’s cloak used to have. With Ren’s crown and his cloak in a similar way, Martyn feels closer to him. As if his ghost is hugging him, reassuring him that he’s still there.

“What now, My Liege?” asks Skizz.

Martyn draws his own sword and holds it aloft.

“The red winter continues.”

[votederpycausemufins]

john mulaney voice:  Hey... What's [this story] is a lot LONGER than I first thought. that being said, this chapter itself is shorter than the others.

Before Tubbo could say anything, Tommy was in the air, a trail of smoke from his firework left behind. He held a sword in hand and flew towards where the summoned monsters were. As he reached them, Tommy saw another Hermit also in the air. “Scar? Did you summon these?”

“What?! I would never. I thought it was you or Grian!” The mayor responded, offended that Tommy would think such a thing of him.

“No way. How about we take care of them before we figure out who made them.” Tommy suggested and Scar nodded, the two of them diving at the withers, getting their attention and drawing their fire. It went well. Though there were three withers firing at the two of them, Scar and Tommy focused on damaging one of the three while dodging the rest of the attacks. When they killed the first one, Tommy dove to grab the nether star. He caught it before it reached the ground, but it was close enough he could see the damaged terrain. Another hermit was below, sword out as they fought someone with an axe. Someone Tommy recognized.

The wither sounds above filtered into Tommy’s mind as he remembered before. Back on the SMP. “You want to be a hero Tommy? Then die like one!” He didn’t realize his grip on the nether star loosen, or the fact that he was currently plummeting to the ground. “Chaos!” He was trying to find everyone. Where had they- “TOMMY!”

Tommy snapped out of it, looking for wherever Tubbo was, why he had shouted, and then he saw the ground. The island rushing closer towards him. He fumbled with his items before grabbing his fireworks just in time to launch himself back into the air. He stared down at the ground once more, trying to find Tubbo, before items started raining from above. “No! Scar!” And he flew back up towards the withers. 

One of the withers was slowly falling back down to the ground, Scar having gotten it to half its health on his own. And that was with him not being a fighter like Tommy. He slashed at the wither until it died before flying further up and attacking the final of the monsters. It got a number of attacks to hit Tommy and the teen quickly flew higher, far enough away to quickly down some golden carrots and make sure he wasn’t killed as well. After a few more attacks, the final wither was also killed and Tommy started back down to the ground. He quickly pulled out his comm and read the death messages that were reported. 

GoodtimeswithScar was shot by a skull from Wither

Keralis was slain by Technoblade

GoodtimeswithScar was slain by Technoblade

GoodtimeswithScar was slain by Technoblade

GoodtimeswithScar went off with a bang

BdoubleO100 went off with a bang

Renthedog went off with a bang

Jrumbot went off with a bang

Looking back at the ground as he put the comm away again, Tommy could see the fading colors of fireworks being launched. He dove down, even using a firework of his own to get there quicker, but as the smoke cleared, he pulled back to slow his descent. On the ground Grian was fighting Technoblade and holding his own, sword parrying the blows from Techno’s axe.

Tommy scanned the rest of the area. Tubbo was on the ground a number of blocks away, coughing from the smoke. Phil was nearby, but couldn’t move due to some of the debris managing to have landed on one of his wings. While Tommy wanted to help Grian out, he didn’t look like he needed it as much as Tubbo and Philza did, so he changed his path to go in their direction.

“Tubbo, are you okay?!” Tommy asked as he landed, quickly helping his friend up. Tubbo tried to speak, but instead it all came out as coughing. “Just go to town hall.” Tommy pointed at the large building on a nearby hill. “I know it’s gonna sound weird, but find the cat there and hold onto her for dear life! Got it?” Tubbo was hesitant at first, but then nodded and ran towards the building. 

Tommy ran the opposite way over to Phil and helped him out of the rubble. He had to be a little careful with breaking everything so he didn’t hurt his dad, but it wasn’t the hardest material to deal with, so freeing the avian wasn’t too difficult of a task. “Was that Techno? How’d he get here?”

“Dunno.” Tommy answered, helping his dad to his feet. “He’s fighting Grian right now, so we better stop them.”

Phil nodded and the two of them ran towards where Grian and Techno were still fighting. Grian was looking very angry, to the point where he seemed to be using some Watcher magic at least slightly as his wings were their alternate colors and he had more than just one pair of eyes.

“It won’t matter once you’re dead!” Were the first words Tommy could make out, the sentence coming from Techno.

“I don’t plan on dying for good anytime soon. You, on the other hand, will probably wish you could die.”

“Grian!” Tommy shouted, and the Watcher looked away from Techno and up at Tommy. The piglin hybrid tried at use that as an opening to attack, but Grian hadn’t completely looked away since he could control his various eyes independently. “Techno! Stop fighting him! Even if you win it’s not going to end well!”

But Techno ignored Tommy and attacked once more. Grian pulled his shield up to block the attack, but the axe didn’t connect. In all of the commotion, no one saw someone new enter the area until now. All eyes were on Grumbot as he had stopped the axe with a hand and then pulled it out of Techno’s hands. “Hello Uncle Technoblade.”

Everything was quiet. Tommy was pretty sure the robot was doing the same thing as when Grian and Phil had been fighting, shocking them into doing nothing. But Techno wasn’t Phil. He pulled out another crossbow and aimed it at Grum. Tommy shouted as he watched as the trigger was pulled.

Tommy ran toward where they had stood. His comm buzzing in his pocket. He couldn’t see the messages, but he knew what they were.

Grumbot went off with a bang

Grian went off with a bang

Technoblade was slain by Tommyinnit

Tommy panted, unmoving as he just held his sword in place, the blade left where Techno had been standing moments before. For a moment he was glad, but then he panicked. Had Techno gone back to the SMP when he was killed? Was he back at spawn? Was he nowhere and gone from existence? His comm buzzed again and Tommy immediately pulled it out.

Xisuma was slain by Technoblade

Okay, at the very least now he knew Techno had respawned. The question is where Xisuma was. His best guess was the spawn island since at least with Tubbo, Phil and himself, they were brought by Grian. Tommy took a moment to catch his breath slightly before rocketing back up into the air and heading to spawn. On his way there, he saw a boat heading towards the main island, so Tommy dove down towards it. “Technoblade!”

The hybrid looked up just in time to see Tommy land into the boat with a ‘thunk’ making it shake and letting a little bit of water come over the sides. “Tommy.”

“Oh my god is that Xisuma’s gear?”

Techno looked down at himself before looking back to the main spawn area. “If you mean the guy that was over there when I respawned, yeah.” Techno huffed. “Now I think you should get out of this boat before I make you.”

“No. You need to hear me out first.”

“No I don’t. You were helping the guys that kidnapped you and Phil. He said that guy was a Watcher. Phil told us stories about them growing up.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “He told you and Wil those stories. He never told me any of those. Plus, they were wrong.”

“You honestly expect me to believe you after you’ve been living with them for months?” Techno growled, moving his stolen weapon closer to Tommy.

“I believe them because they’re family.”

“We’re your family Tommy.”

“So’s Xelqua.”

Techno’s eyes widened and the sword lowered just enough from his shock that Tommy quickly stole it away before showing it into the water. “Did you just say that to-”

Tommy shook his head. “No! Of course not! It’s a plus, but I’m telling the truth. Dad knows too. None of use were sure at first, not even him. Like you said, I’ve been living with them for months, but until yesterday we didn’t know.”

“Then for all we know he’s lying. Or maybe he’s not really someone to trust.”

Tommy just sighed. “Can we just fucking go back to the spawn area so X can get his shit back? While we’re there I can tell everyone else what’s going on.”

Reluctantly Techno agreed and turned the boat around just as Xisuma was arriving with his emergency bee elytra out from his suit. 

“Alright, give him his fucking stuff back.” Tommy said as he pushed Techno out of the boat, making the hybrid grumble and take off the pilfered armor and other gear. “Alright then. Techno, this is Xisuma. He’s the admin of the server. He’s not like Dream but can be so much worse if you give him any reason to.”

Xisuma tilted his head slightly at the unfamiliar name, but mostly ignored it to take his items back. “I would welcome you to the server, but it seems you’ve already made yourself known.”

Techno huffed. “Yeah, just tell me where Phil is and I’ll be on my way.”

“Bitch what about Xel?”

“I doubt he wants to go back with us.”

“Hey I’m not fucking leaving. And I’m not sure Phil is either.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“He’ll want to stay with Grian for a bit probably.” Techno raised an eyebrow at Tommy. “He changed his name to Grian ages ago. Don’t know the full details though. He only really ever said he got bullied for it growing up and changed it in highschool or some shit.”

“Fine, I guess we’re staying here a bit.” Techno crossed his arms before getting back in the boat.

“Um, I seem to be missing my sword still.” Xisuma piped up, and Tommy jabbed his finger in the direction they came from. X nodded when he saw it floating on the surface of the water and flew over to grab the weapon.

While he did that, Tommy jumped back in the boat and rowed with Techno back to the island, going right up to Tommy’s beach area. Phil and Tubbo were both there, Tubbo with a certain gray striped cat in their lap.

The moment they reached land, Techno got out of the boat and walked over to Philza, who handed him the gear he lost when Tommy managed to kill him. “Is what Tommy said true? About Xel?”

Phil nodded. “Yeah. In fact he’s the Watcher that showed up. He’s gone through a lot since we last saw him.”

“How do we know we can trust him.”

Phil looked off to the side. “Well, he’s done better for Tommy than we did.”

The two of them were quiet to the point where Tommy broke the silence by going over to Tubbo. “Ey Tubzo, looks like you and Jellie are getting along. Very cool, very cool. She’s not upset at you bringing her along?”

Tubbo shook their head. “No, I tried to leave her back in that big building but she followed behind me.”

“Yeah, she sort of has a mind of her own. Grian’s not even completely sure she’s really a cat.” Tommy then looked up as he noticed something in the sky. “Speaking of which, looks like that’s him.”

The others also looked skyward and saw the bright red wings of Grian spread out as he was gliding. The avian noticed the group and pulled them in, diving down. However, shortly after doing that, Tommy watched as Grian pulled out a sword. The moment he landed on the ground, the blade was against Techno’s throat, Grian glaring up at his taller brother, his eyes red and puffy.

“Grian! Stop stop stop stop! That’s Technoblade, that’s Technoblade!” Tommy rushed over and tried to stop Grian but the avian pushed Tommy to the side.

“I don’t care who he is! He killed them and they’re not respawning!” Grian shouted, pressing the blade further, drawing a few drops of blood.

Tommy took a slight step back. “Wait, who? What do you mean? What happened?” But he was pretty sure he knew. Tommy saw the death messages. Scar was obviously respawning, and the other hermits would too. But two of those on the list wouldn’t.

“What are you talking about?” Techno looked down, showing no emotion to Grian.

“You killed my kids!” Grian yelled at him. “They’re dead and they’re not coming back! And it’s all your fault!”

It looked like Grian wanted to yell even more, but Philza grabbed him in a hug and the younger avian just dissolved into crying. Tommy and Techno met eyes, and even the powerful Technoblade flinched at the glare he received from his youngest brother.

Back on the SMP, Ghostbur kept floating around where the people had been before. He couldn’t quite remember why they had disappeared. He remembered something big with wings. He was pretty sure it was a giant bird. It looked kind of like his dad! And Tommy had been there too, but then everyone but Technoblade left. And then even Techno had left. Ghostbur was pretty sure he was supposed to stay there, but he wasn’t sure.

Then suddenly he felt something. As a ghost, he didn’t have access to a communicator, so the supernatural powers that allowed him to exist as a ghost also allowed him to interact with what would be the chat. So he was very aware when some people showed up. And since his friends and family had left, that had to be them coming back! It was a little strange they weren’t right there, but maybe they were just back where everyone else appears. Yeah, that was probably it!

Ghostbur went back towards spawn, ready to see Phil and Technoblade and Tommy. And he was happy to see there was someone right where there should be. Two someones in fact. But they seemed a little short. Techno and Tommy were tall, so it couldn’t be them, and Philza was short, but not that short. So that must mean it was someone completely different.

“Hello there! I’m Ghostbur!”

The two new people jumped slightly before turning to look at him. “Oh! H-Hi!”

“Who are you two? Unless we’ve already met. I don’t think we have, but I also have trouble remembering so maybe we have!”

“No, we have not met you before. I do not believe the two of us have even been to this world before. Can you tell us where we are?”

“Oh! You’re in the Dream SMP!” Ghostbur answered, just as one of the two newcomers checked what they had in place of a communicator.

Jrumbot joined the world

Grumbot joined the world

[zeejax]

how can anyone not LOVE the hermits real names??? are u kidding me??? oli is the cutest thing on this earth!!!! charlie is so incredibly precious!!!! viktor is the coolest name!!!!! steffen??? i love it!! warren is so freakin cool!!!! cole is cute! katy!!! craig!!! they’re all great!