#bye ryuu you will be missed

[fleurdeminuitflower]

Human!Rashomon - The ADA.

Somehow, Rashomon escapes the Black Lizard when Hirotsu takes a break to go to the bathroom. - Gin totally did not let her get away, nope, there is no way -

Furious, Akutagawa ends up at The Armed Detective Agency, such murderous aura even without his ability that even Kunikida hesitates for a second before pointing at a very confused Atsushi holding a shivering Rashomon, shielding her from a cooing Dazai.

"Don't let the ugly man touch me, Jinko!" screeches Rashomon. "He's trying to kill me!"

"Aww, that's not true!" Dazai pouts, ten fingers wiggling in front of his body. "I'm not even trying to touch you, Mon!"

"Jinko! Tell the ugly man not to use weird nicknames!"

Akutagawa coughs. Rashomon beams, jumping from Atsushi's arms and running for dear life to her wielder.

"Ryuu! Ryuu, you came!"

Akutagawa takes a moment to inspect Rashomon's clothes.

"Who gave you such distasteful attire?"

"Hey!" Atsushi complains. "Give us a break! It's all she accepted to wear!"

"It's a smaller version of Atsushi's outfit," Kyoka says.

"Exactly," Akutagawa says and looks once again at Rashomon. "It's disgusting." He takes off his brand-new coat. "Take it off and put this on."

Rashomon shakes her head. "No, Ryu! I wanna stay in Jinko's clothes! They are comfy!"

"I did not mean it as a request, Rashomon."

"I'm still refusing!"

They glare at each other, much to the amusement to both Dazai and Ranpo, the awe of Yosano and Kenji, the curiosity of Kyoka and the perplexity of Atsushi.

"You will take those hideous clothes off, or you will be staying here with these detectives."

Rashomon gasps.

"A sleep-over?"

"No-"

"Jinko!" Rashomon cheers, running back to Atsushi's arms. "I'm staying with you tonight!"

"Come back here," hisses Akutagawa.

"Ap, ap, ap!" Dazai raises a hand, Rashomon flinching and both Akutawaga and Atsushi squinting at former mentor and current guide respectively. "Let her stay," he flashes Rashomon a smile. "That way I'll have more time to not-touch her!"

"I'm coming with you, Ryuu!" Rashomon promptly wiggled her way out of Atsushi's arms and hides behind her wilder. "Let's go! I miss big sister Gin and little sister Elise!"

Akutagawa looked at each member of the detective agency, gaze staying longer on Atsushi's.

"Pardon the intrusion," he apologizes to the surprise of everyone but Ranpo and Dazai. "We'll be on our way."

"Bye!" Ranpo chants. "See ya tomorrow, you two!"

[rimeiii]

Going on a little joyride searching up the WHB seiyuu, don't mind me

not @ me searching the whb seiyuu and realizing leviathan shares the same seiyuu as SHALEM (i like shalem remind me to e2 him)

oh, and fucking CZERNY and MAMMON share the same seiyuu

why are my two whb demon king faves the arts protectors. i'm a sniperknights truther hello????? i'm not about to switch my niche around so quickly wtf

also gabriel is also ichinii from touken ranbu, as well as dragalia's michael (rip dragalia you shall be missed, even though my fave among the angels is still ramiel). good fucking bye i guess i'm also simping gabriel now.

satan's old seiyuu was midnight in arknights. which is kinda fitting. also he shares the same seiyuu as 12f and i7's ryuu. so um.

...how is pukapuka man and yuduki's seiyuu the same seiyuu as sitri and astaroth AND MARBAS. goodbye.

[livealittleoc-cb]

Presents for The Pack & Pups from Jay!

First is, of course, my little cloud! I made you some coffee, it’s my favorite~ I also made you this little cloud pillow, fluffy like you! Please don’t make me regret giving you coffee…

Miss Moonbyul, I know we aren’t super close but you seem really cool and calm, I made you a sketchbook! I drew those flowers…I hope you like it

Dabinnie, yes Dabinnie, I definitely did not get you a vape pen, nope~ I got you a monster can! I hope you like monster, if not I will cry.

Kyuu Kyuu~ I got you dip n dots~ I hope I got a good flavor…Cookie misses his play partner too~

Jaewon, we aren’t super close but you’re super cute! Baby cute but, I made you a small little snowglobe that has real snow!

Sam, you seem like a forest man so I made you a necklace that’ll let you have a little bit of the forest with you wherever you go!

Mister Crush! I wasn’t sure what to get you but, I found out you like zombies so I got you a Zombie movie poster!

Gray, sir, I heard you like milkshakes so I hope you like it, I made it myself~

Hyeongjunnie, you seem so adorable and precious so I got you a blanket that matches you!

Um… I know I like annoyed you before Mister Dean but I found this leather bag and decorated it and made it so you can carry your switch around or like any other gaming consoles you have…I’m sorry for annoying you

Um hello Mister Loco, I know we don’t know a lot about each other but I thought you would look really handsome with a bandanna collar! You don’t have to wear if you don’t like it…

Lastly Mister Ryuu! We don’t know each other that well but you seem really cool and vintage and I normally go to thrift shops and I saw these and got you some.

So um…yeah… *she shyly plays with her fingers* I just wanted to give you guys some gifts cause you’ve been really nice and welcoming and like home… *she looks away* thank you for being nice to me… *she crosses her arms* u-um anyways yeah! I should go, bye, hope ya like ya stuff! *rushes away rubbing at her eyes*

@k-pop-shelter

[ryuryuryuyurboat]

ejehehe hihi ryuu! currently hiding in the bathroom from the cruel 3rd period of math lmao-

but anyways, I see a fellow Kaeya simp hanging around... how've you been? Hopefully well n good n everything nice ^^ this is to both you, ryuu, and the fellow kaeya simp

anyways, iits the best if i go before my teacher comes searching for me lolololololol

bye bye and hope you have a nice rest of your day/nightttttt!

-that anon

omg HI NONNIE I'VE MISSED YOUUUU ew math i'm glad it's not 1st period

a who simp??

LOL i hope math went well for you <3 and i hope you've been well!!

[cinnabeat]

<3

[traditional-with-a-twist]

xxxv. Beauty and Her Beast

@the-pompous-potato I love your play by plays, they are really the best XD oh, man, you’re right about that little moment of tension there - she could have disappeared! while you were drinking away your mood, Obi! can’t take your eyes off that woman, come on, man, have you learned nothing

@bubblesthemonsterartist haha I love that, he hasn’t quite processed the transition yet XD indeed, the “missus” is not going away until Shirayuki takes steps. aw, I like the idea that Raj’s gift made Izana laugh <3 at least someone appreciates it <.< >.>

<<Previous || first arc || second arc || AO3 || Next>>

Parallel scene: Promises to Keep from Obiyuki Winter Challenge 2018.

...in the north, procuring the documents necessary to formalize the legal proceedings in recognition of your inheritance. In my absence, the steward of the estate will acquaint you with your responsibilities.

You will depart immediately for the southern holdings to take up residence there.

So ended the old man’s letter, and with it Obi’s dreams of securing every happiness for his new wife.

Fate had cheated them in the end, for the very stroke that had brought them together now divided them from everyone else.

He had married Shirayuki with every intention of seeing her happily rooted in the place she loved best to call home, had considered that source of joy paramount, in fact - prior even to his own claims on her.

He had yielded his place to the first prince rather than see her forced from her home, and now he was to be the instrument of her undoing.

...

When Shirayuki read the letter, the guests had gone, the gifts distributed, and everything packed away, save Raj’s token of affection.

They were alone together because he knew she didn’t like for others to see her distress, wouldn’t want it to trouble Little Ryuu or Miss Kiki or the pharmacists.

She did not cry, but only looked at him with her eyes like endless fields.

...

In a small but steady voice, she said, ‘I won’t need long to pack.’

‘But, missus--Shirayuki--you don’t--’ Obi swallowed, his mouth dry. ‘You don’t have to leave Wistal.’

She looked at him, her brow furrowing.

He longed to smooth the creases away, but he kept his hands on his knees. He wanted her to be free, free to choose what made her happy.

...

Her eyes lingered on his face, drawing him in -- he was adrift in their depths.

‘But,’ she said, ‘you’re leaving.’

Obi spread his hands and dropped his shoulders in a gesture of helplessness.

...

He had lived all his life serving another man’s will.

This wouldn’t be the first time he had bent his head to the old man’s yoke. It wasn’t so bad as long as you followed instructions and stayed out of his way.

Shirayuki nodded once. ‘Then I’m coming with you.’

Every inch of her was still and determined, unwavering.

‘But--’ Obi couldn’t look at her. ‘...you don’t have to come with me.’

...

In the quiet that followed, he heard the rustle of her dress; this was all that prepared him before she laid her hand on his wrist.

His skin shivered under her touch.

He had hardly left her side since the announcement and still she did this to him: shocking him with the smallest contact.

Now he could not bear to look anywhere else, but only gazed at her with a face full of tender longing.

...

She lifted her other hand and rested it against his cheek.

His eyes half-closed; he relaxed into the cradle of her palm.

When she said, ‘Obi, I want to be with you,’ he could only nod.

...

They met again in the courtyard, Shirayuki with a satchel over her shoulder and Obi leading a horse by its reins.

The stable hands had fetched it for him without questioning as soon as he had mentioned their destination -- not bad at all, better perks than the last job he had undertaken for the old man.

He secured Shirayuki’s single piece of luggage to the saddle, thinking how glad he was that they had seen everyone at the wedding feast because there was no need to say good-bye again.

They were not going far; they would be back; he would bring her back as often as he could.

...

He turned to help her up and found that she was staring at the unspeakable gift again.

‘Obi … don’t you think that it might be a nuisance to someone if we leave it here? 

‘Not,’ she added quickly, ‘that Raj meant it that way, and I’m sure it was very kind of him, only it is so large…’

...

Obi spared a glance for the mass of ribbons and jewels. ‘Not to worry, missus, I’ll think of something to do with it.’ 

He made this promise rashly, having no idea what purpose it could serve to anyone, but with a clear conscience in the fullness of his confidence that the right thing would present itself in time.

...

‘Up you get, missus.’ He lifted her, thinking that she felt lighter than her luggage, into the saddle.

Of their own accord, his hands lingered longer than necessary, spanning her waist between forefingers and thumbs, feeling how fine she was in her tiny perfection.

The heat of his palms drew her attention away from Raj’s gift at last; she looked at him inquiringly, strands of hair framing her face as she bent to search his expression.

...

Gazing up at her, Obi remembered the kiss he had yet to claim.

His fingers flexed against her hips, but he checked himself. There would be time for that when he had brought her to a safe place where she could rest her head.

They had plenty of time - an entire life together.

...

With a shake to clear his head, he sprang up in front of her and took the reins.

Shirayuki slid her arms around his waist and leaned her cheek against his back.

He felt her need for comfort in the grip of her hands, and spoke gently to her. ‘Cover yourself with my cloak, missus; it’s cold riding horseback this time of year.’

...

Shirayuki obeyed gratefully, pressing herself still closer against him with only an open fold to expose her to the harshness of the world.

She didn’t want to see the castle slipping away, the familiar roofs and doors of the city drifting by.

She hid her face from it and tried not to ask when she would see it again, tried not to even think.

Eventually, lulled by the double rhythm of the horse’s hooves and Obi’s heartbeat, she dozed against him as they rode.

...

They passed out of Wistal unheralded, unwatched, save by the gleam in a single castle window - a solitary lamp, lighting the chamber of the first prince.

...

Sounds and sights blurred together, interrupted only at intervals whenever Obi stopped to dismount.

She would huddle against the horse’s neck, trying to trap the heat in the space he had left behind, too sleepy to even wonder that he left his cloak with her.

Then he would return, usually with something hot for her to drink, but once with a thoughtful expression and a roll of paper tucked into his shirt front pocket.

...

‘Obi?’ she asked, muzzy but still curious.

He cast her his most enigmatic look. ‘Not much longer now, missus. Are you cold?’

Dusk was deepening then; she didn’t have the energy to press him when she would rather be snuggled against the warmth of his back.

...

She shook her head. He swung into the saddle and back into the circle of her arms.

From that point, they left the main road and turned off onto forest paths that led them deep into the trees.

‘Where are we, Obi?’ she asked whenever they took a new turn.

‘The estate’s southern holdings, missus,’ he would say every time, until at last they stopped.

...

Shirayuki raised her head to find them alone in a clearing before a wooden cabin with candles brightening its windows. It shone like a golden lantern in the still soft shadows of the forest.

‘Where…?’ Shirayuki began, perplexed, but this time Obi turned to her with a grin as wide as the moon and sang:

‘Missus, we’re home!’

[pillow-anime-talk]

older girlfriend. {pt.1}

synopsis: You as older Karasuno’s boys girlfriend.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; older!y/n; romance; lil bit of comedy; fluff; some kisses and hugs; sometimes reader is smol or has a babyface and because of this she doesn’t seems to be on 3rd year or studies; sfw

includes: female reader ft. daichi sawamura, koushi sugawara, asahi azumane, yuu nishinoya, ryuunosuke tanaka & chikara ennoshita {hq!!}

part two {click}

— DAICHI

↘ You looked at Google Maps again on your phone and then entered Karasuno High School, looking around carefully.

↘ You literally never were here, so you felt lost, but you decided to go into the school and ask someone for directions to the gym if it will be necessary.

↘ Thank God, you noticed three first years who were just leaving the big building. You greeted them and asked where you should go to meet the Karasuno volleyball team. You even corrected your hair, smiling sweetly.

↘ Needless to say, one of the boys got a nosebleed when he saw you and the other two blushed, pointing only to the direction of the side exit. After moving away from the three high school teenagers, you only managed to hear the quiet ‘Wasn’t she a student or something?’, but you didn’t have time to react to that apt remark.

↘ You finally got to the large gym, so you decided to go inside. You noticed that the team was in training, so the black-haired girl noticed you as first. She was a bit taller than you, but she also looked super lovely, so you smiled at her and greeted her, asking if you could wait for Daichi. The team manager nodded at you, blushing furiously as she realized you were a bit older than she was. (Kiyoko immediately recognized the school coat of arms on your jacket from the Women’s College she wanted to go too.)

↘ “OOOOH. WELCOME, WELCOME.” A low voice echoed in the gymnasium and you glanced at the boy with a shaved head who was running towards you with another a bit small teen. “ARE YOU A KIYOKO-SAN’S FRIEND?!”

↘ You didn’t know what was going on right now, so you said ‘No’ and immediately started looking for your boyfriend. Thank God, Daichi was already walking towards you, blushing as much as Kiyoko before.

↘ “Y/N? What are you doing here?” He smiled, scratching his neck and you shrugged.

↘ “I wanted to see your training. Surprise? I think.” You laughed softly as you walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “After your training we can go get some food, my treat, Captain.”

↘ The rest of the team was shocked because a) Daichi had a girlfriend; b) An older girl; c) Super cute and tiny girlfriend who dominated him in two freaking seconds.

— KOUSHI

↘ Only the third years knew about Suga’s relationship with you, so the rest of the team didn’t know who you are when you approached to them during the Spring High National Tournament, asking they were are Karasuno High School team.

↘ Tanaka and Nishinoya had a nosebleed and fell in love with you at first sight, and the first years didn't know what to say. You literally couldn't get along with them. You were lost and you missed your lovely babyboy.

↘ “Umm, so... I guess I mistook the High Schools, I’m sorry.” You muttered awkwardly and was about to leave when the libero denied it and stopped you.

↘ “You’re not wrong, angel. How can we help you?” You laughed under your breath at his words, nodding.

↘ “So, thanks. I’m looking for Koushi. He’s on this team, right?”

↘ “Are you his little sister? Aww, you can call me Ryuu-senpai. I’ll be glad.” You literally saw little hearts flying above his head.

↘ “No. Not really.” You replied amused and suddenly felt a gentle tapping on your shoulder. You turned, look up and instantaneously smiled when you saw your two years younger boyfriend. You hug him tightly. “Koushi, baby.”

↘ “You didn’t have to come. After all, you have a lot of exams at the university.” He muttered, though his voice was so happy and he was so relieved that you are here with him.

↘ “U-university...” Tanaka began, feeling his cheeks turn redder and redder.

↘ “Hey, guys. She’s my girlfriend. Be nice to her! And show her some respect! She’s in the second year of studies.”

↘ The whole team (except for the whole third year) was impressed.

↘ On the other hand, you hugged the gray-haired boy even closely and informed him that he had to come to your house after the game because you wanted pizza and some kisses.

— ASAHI

↘ You’ve just escorted your boyfriend to his high school and you were going to say goodbye to him.

↘ Of course, you couldn’t leave him with the usual ‘bye-bye’, on the contrary. You gave him a full, literally public make-out session right outside the school gate. Your red-wine lipstick made a little mess on the tall volleyball player’s lips. Nothing new.

↘ “... I-I didn’t know that Azumane-san has a girlfriend.” Kageyama said softly and blushed hard, looking at orange-haired friend who looked at you closely.

↘ “She attend to our school? Hmm...” Hinata asked under his breath, but the lack of a Karasuno High School uniform was misleading. “I don’t think so...”

↘ “I didn’t think that senpai liked first years.” Tsukishima laughed as he walked past the two shorter boys with Yamaguchi. “It’s almost illegal, don’t y’all think? I don’t want to believe that any girl has likes someone who looks like a criminal.”

↘ “Hey, kids.” Daichi’s voice made the four juniors turn to him and Sugawara. “Y/N-san is older than all of us and actually is in her first year of college. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.” He smiled heartily as he patted them on the back. “Now go to school and better prepare yourself for a solid warm-up after your lessons thanks to this gossips.”

↘ “What? Captain, no!”

↘ At the same time, you informed your boyfriend that you would come to his training because your classes at the university that day were supposed to end sooner. (What an awkward situation for firsts years who apologized to you on knees for things who you literally don’t mind...)

— YUU

↘ It’s been a while since it became known that Nishinoya’s dating a girl. Of course, it was a shock to the whole Karasuno team, because no one suspected that... Noya would ever... have... a partner... 

↘ Anyway, yes. You’ve been with the boy for three months now, and the age difference between the two of you wasn’t a problem for you or him. Yuu thought that it’s was super hot and sexy, by the way. He also liked the fact that you are older than him and you can help him with his studies sometimes.

↘ But he loved even more the fact that you were three centimeters shorter than him anyway and your face was so sweet that he wanted to kiss you 24 hours per day. Through your babyface, the rest of the second years who first met you thought you were younger than all of them. What a surprise, you’re not.

↘ As I mentioned, you often helped Noya in math, contemporary literature and physic, especially when the sports competitions coincided with the exams. You wanted to prepare your boyfriend as much as possible so that he could continue playing with the team and be the best libero for them.

↘ Additionally, Yuu had the luxury of bringing him food or snacks often, and taking him to the roof to talk and cuddle with you.

↘ The boy literally lives his best life thanks to you.

— RYUUNOSUKE

↘ Literally your biggest and the most crazy fan.

↘ You thought he was a fanboy for Kiyoko? Girl... He could create a new religion for you, and I’m not kidding at this point.

↘ He didn’t have to hide you for a long time, because you two barely started dating, and he already told the whole team that he was date with a third year who makes the best bentos in whole school and who has the most beautiful smile in the world. #SIMP.

↘ Tanaka is by far the most protective boy you’ve ever met. The seventeen-year-old just feels the need to protect you all the time because he’s afraid of some third years will take you away from him. Spoiler: you’re not going anywhere.

↘ He loves to hold your hands and you always have to give him a ‘good luck kiss’ before training or a match.

↘ First years and Noya literally hate you two and are jealous like no one else.

↘ Nevertheless, Ryuunosuke isn’t going to calm down and he’s bragging about your photos and what you did on dates with him (leaving the spicy details to himself, of course).

— CHIKARA

↘ Your relationship with Ennoshita was very relaxed and full of love and support, especially when his tournament or your own college exams were coming.

↘ As a girl two years older, you often felt the need to spoil him and buy him various things; books, clothes, ties, new volleyball balls... Literally everything you associated with Chikara was bought and given to the boy shortly after.

↘ I don’t think I need to mention that you came to his every match, as long as it didn't interfere with your studies.

↘ The entire Karasuno team knew who you are and they literally called you the team mascot because of your pocket size, cute face and banners that you held on every game for your boyfriend.

↘ You’re a very hyped person who also feels like a seventeen-year-old’s biggest fangirl.

↘ Chikara is so beaming and thanks to you he smiles much more than normal.

↘ Anyway, brunet likes the fact that he has an older girlfriend who always attracts attention and is self-sufficient. On top of that, his biggest weak point is that he sees you in a jacket and high-heeled shoes.

[heroes-never-discourse]

i'm not op of that 'if you read yaoi' post but i'll take some cute bl recs anyway. i literally only just started reading manga this week and i'd love to add some more titles to my to read list

!!!!

absolutely anon, let me tell you I spent three weeks reading nothing but bl and it was Great and now I have Many recs for you

warning! this is Gonna Be Very Long so my recs’ll be under the cut (bolded ones are my favorites!)

1K Apartment no Koi

24 Jikan Eigyouchuu

After Morning Love and its spin-off Before Daylight Love

Ai ga Love Shite You nanosa(this one is as ridiculous as it is adorable, so fucking funny)

Amayadori wa Basu-tei de

Ameiro no Toge

Ameiro Paradox(this one is still ongoing; i usually hate when love interests do nothing but bicker? but the journalist boyfriends just do something right for me. and Natsume Isaku is just one of my favorite mangakas! love most of her work)

Ano Koi no Tsuzuki

Arashi no Ato

Bikkuri suru hodo Doji na Koi

Body Talk Paradox(the second and third stories are the best ones, really love the art style, it’s very crisp, and one of the side characters/one half of the secondary couple has one of the most unique designs I’ve seen in a BL)

Boku no Ano Ko

Boku to Neko to Hatsukoi Kousa

Bokura wa Sore wo Hitei Dekinai

Chiisana Koi no Melody

Chikatetsu no Inu

Colorful Line

Konbini-kun.(I love Junko’s art style it’s very very cute)

Count 0(boy can see a counter above everyone’s heads that counts the number of lies that person has told in their life and is jaded because of it, until he meets another boy whose counter reads 0, very cute)

Doukyuusei and its sequels Sotsugyousei and O.B.

Doushitemo Furetakunai and its spin-off Soredemo, Yasashii Koi o Suru(Doushitemo is top tier okay, it’s one of my absolute favorites, the romance is lowkey and sweet and they’re just so good ;~;)

Doushiyoumo Nai Keredo

Endou-kun no Kansatsu Nikki

Faraway

Gentei Kareshi

Gosan no Heart and its spin-off Owaranai Fukou ni Tsuite no Hanashi

Gunjou no Subete

Hachimitsu Darling

Hana no Mizo Shiru(very very sweet, I’m pretty sure I teared up at one point)

Hanagaya Eigyousho no Kare

Hand Which

Harapeko Usagi to Koisuru Ookami

Hare no Hi

Hatsukoi (Kakine)(very silly, there’s like four different love stories happening in this one boarding house, it’s great)

Hatsukoi (Kazuki)(so this mangaka has a huge list of Haikyuu doujins they’ve done, and I hadn’t watched Haikyuu before I read this but now that I have I can’t unsee the fact that the main characters look like Kageyama and Hinata lmfao)

Hatsukoi no Atosaki

Heart no Kakurega(the secondary couple are hit or miss but the main couple Izumi and Haru are so pure?? they’re so sweet I love them a lot)

Hibi Koikoi

Himegoto Asobi(I’m a goddamn sucker for single dad falls in love stories and this one is one of the best)

The Iberiko Buta series(this manga is so fucking funny?? the initial couple are cute and hilarious idiots, while the second couple are a bit more lowkey and bittersweet, and overall it’s such a funny cute read)

Illumination(this manga is melancholy in book form, I really love this mangakas writing style, the stories are all bittersweet and its some beautiful, beautiful angst)

Kaeru no Prince-sama

Kakugo wo Kimete

Kanemochi-kun to Binbou-kun (“I fell in love when I was sixteen”. great. thanks manga. now i’m crying.)

Kasa no Shita, Futari

Katappashi Kara Zenbu Koi

Kigurumi Planet (the premise for this one??? is so off the wall and ridiculous lmao this manga has no right to be as good as it is, the couple is very sweet and the story is actually pretty good if you can get past how fucking bonkers the premise is)

Kimi to Aruku

Kimi to Date (short and sweet! I love the art style)

Konya mo Nemurenai and its spin-off Kimi to Kore kara(college boy accidentally summons a demon who decides to stick around so he doesn’t have to go home and marry his childhood friend - I fucking love Konya so much, and the love interest Endo is legit one of my favorite characters, I usually hate assholeish semes but he just pulls it off so well; the spin-off features the secondary couple of Konya)

Kimi wa Natsu no Naka

Kiraboshi Dial

Kirakira no Hibi

Kodomo ga Neta Ato de

Koi made Hyakurin and its spin-off Akunin o Nakaseru Houhou (young heir to his grandfather’s yakuza group starts hero-worshiping an ex-yakuza florist (who now hates yakuza) and eventually they fall for each other - listen this manga was made for me, I love yakuza with a heart of gold and ex-yakuza archetypes so fucking much, i love this manga a lot and the main couple is so sweet; the spin-off features ex-yakuza’s older brother)

Koi ni mo Naranai.

Koi no Hanashi ga Shitai

Koko ni Aru, Kimi no Oto

Konya, Mister de

Kuchizuke wa Niji no Ue de (the premise for this is so cute and unique! a man who’s followed by sunny weather and a man who’s followed by stormy weather meet and decide to go mountain climbing! very cute)

Kurayami ni Strobe

Life, Love (okay listen this one! i did enjoy this one How. Ever. it’s a story where a seemingly not so smart man is made to guard the man that he and his boss kidnapped, and then they maybe??? fall in love over the course of the kidnapping and that’s the first half of the story, and the relationships are very weird and complex and the characters are also weird and complex? and it’s very unsatisfying as a romance but still somehow satisfying? except the ending which left me just shocked laughing like ‘that’s it?????’ and i’m still not sure how i feel about it but i’m pretty sure i liked it and yeah disclaimer over)

Link: Boku to Kimi no Aida

Lotus Eater

Lucky Number 13(okay no this one is so sweet and cute, a huge baseball otaku falls for a boy who is plagued with bad luck unless he’s dating someone, in which case his bad luck transfers to his partner, they’re such a pure couple and it’s a very sweet and funny story and I love it)

Mad Cinderella(this one isn’t totally scanlated :( but there’s still a lot of it scanned and it’s all very cute and worth)

Mahoutsukai no Koi

The Mainichi Seiten Series; Mainichi Seiten, Kodomo wa Tomaranai, Children’s Time, Kodomo no Iibun, Aki-chan no Iibun, Isoganaide, Hanaya no Nikai de(very very slice of life, three couples in all, the first volume is kind of slow and the art is kinda rough and the couple is very chaste but still cute and the art gets better through the series, and the other two relationships are top tier and overall this series is one of my absolute favorites)

Mayoke no Darling

Mazu wa, Hitokuchi.(okay but the premise is a farm that secretly raises flying pigs how amazing is that)

Me wo Tojite 3-Byou

Merry Checker

Motto Aishiaimasho

Nakanai Hotaru

Nee Senpai, Oshiete yo

Negative-kun to Positive-kun

Neko no Koi (I really love young masters who are in love with their less well-off childhood friend/keeper that’s some good shit)

Nennen Saisai

Nichijousahan Bi - Beautiful Life

No Color

Number Call

Okujou no Bye-Bye

Omamori Shimasu, Dokomademo

Ringo ni Hachimitsu and its sequel Kare no Barairo no Jinsei (i really love this mangakas art style and way of writing, very good)

Rutta to Kodama (listen these boys will be the death of me, I love delinquents especially delinquents with hearts of gold, and Rutta is the epitome of that, he and Kodama are so fucking sweet and I just love them so so much, one of my absolute favorites)

Saiyaku wa Boku wo Suki Sugiru(this one is still ongoing! it’s basically a soul mate au where if one half gets injured the other is the one who sustains the injury, turned into a family curse that lasts a year upon the younger one’s 17th birthday, so very very good)

Sannin Gurashi (i love this one it’s so sweet ;~;)

Sawattemo Ii kana (also not completely scanlated and I cry every day because of it)

Sayonara, Heron

Sayonara, Itoshi no My Friend

Seinen wa Ai o Kou

Sense of Love

Seven Days

Shitteru yo.

Shuuden Elegy

Signal

Soko ni Suwaru na

Sonna Me de Mitekure (this one??? is fUCKing ridiculous, I laughed through the entire thing it’s fucking ridiculous omg)

Sono Koi ni wa Wake ga Aru(love!!!! i love this one! so much! stoic but gentle semes are my fucking kryptonite okay and Azuma is that in spades, he and Aoi are just so fucking cute)

Sono Mama de

Sore wa Isshun no Hikari, dewa Naku

Sore o Koigokoro to Yobu no Nara

Sorenari ni Shinken Nan desu.(this is basically a sick fic featuring an overworked single dad and his playboy regular who’s in love with him, literally one of my absolute favorites and I think the first yaoi I ever read? Oosawa and Yoshioka are top tier and it’s just so sweet and feel-good, ugh I love)

Spotlight Lover

Star-like Words

Sugar Code(mix competent yakuza with useless gay and you get Oodoi, it’s beautiful; I love Oodoi and Akira a lot)

Suteneko no Karte

Te o Tsunai de Koi o(”oh you guys don’t get along? okay now you have to hold hands the entire walk home until you do” lmao archery club president knows what’s up)

Tear Drop

The Killer

Tight Rope(i’ve already exposed my love for yakuza and ‘young master in love with his childhood friend’ archetypes which means me loving Tight Rope was written in the fucking stars because Ryuu is b o t h, and I just really love Naoki as well)

Toki no Maigo o Sagashite!(amnesia plot!)

Tsukiatte Agete mo Ii n Dakara ne (this one is f u c k i n g ridiculous, the love interest is a giant fucking ham, it’s r i d i c u l o u s lmfao)

Twinkle (Kanda)

Wakabaryou de, Kimi to

Wakadanna ni Goyoujin

Work In

Yachin Hanbun no Ibasho desu

Yakozen

Yamada to Shounen

Yamete Kudasai,(this one gave me cavities)

Yozora no Sumikko de,

Yuki no Shita no Qualia

Yuugure no Machi

Zantei, Koibito

[obiyukibinkysfanfiction]

Albert - your name is Albert!

His shift was over at the Wistalia security headquarters. He’d bid Mitsuhide and Kiki goodbye and said good night to the boss and Kihal.

As he stomped down the streets of Clarines, cold numbed hands shoved in his suit pant pockets, it gave him an opportunity to think. The last few days had been weird and he had never had to describe his life as that - not ever.

Hard, yes, shit, yes but never weird.

And he knew it all came down to one person. It had started the other day when he’d bumped into an old friend, Torou.

She was ‘handsy’ as she always was with everyone but she was a known and admitted lesbian. And Obi had no qualms about that, in fact, there had been times in his life that were blurred, back in his darker days but ultimately, he was very much straight (mostly) and liking one sex over another didn’t change a person...it was other things that changed them, like greed.

Torou hadn’t gotten along with him at first, back when they were both orphans that needed to survive and they butted heads often about a lot of things but somehow, they found that they had needed each other.

However, when it came down to money, he supposed betrayal was bound to happen and the fact that she’d done it to him spoke volumes and that perhaps she hadn’t really cared about their friendship as much as he had.

That was five years ago.

And suddenly she had turned up in the streets of Clarines. When she’d gone to hug him and place a kiss on his cheek he had grabbed her wrists tightly and pushed her back with suspicion in his eyes.

From the corner of his eye, he’d seen Shirayuki and had turned and called out to her but she didn’t seem to hear.

That was the first weird occurrence that had happened.

Then he’d found her at the office to see that she’d slept the night there (that wasn’t so weird) but she had declined his offer to drive her home.

He vacantly wondered if she’d seen Torou but Shirayuki hadn’t mentioned anything, although, she seemed to be avoiding him a little.

Obi had decided to surprise her at lunch time to find her in the lab (Ryuu nowhere to be seen). She was talking with a rather attractive guy he’d never seen before and it seemed that he’d bought her lunch from the coffee shop around the corner - wasn’t that their thing?

He wasn’t bothered by it (as in he was very much bothered) so he swiped his key card, allowing the hiss of the door to draw attention to his presence.

Obi straightened his tie as he walked toward them, glaring at the man’s back until he faced them both and Shirayuki smiled up at him from her swivel chair.

“Obi! Sorry, Raj surprised me,” began Shirayuki with a reassuring smile.

Ah. The famous Raj who had propositioned her but somehow they were friends now...weird.

Yes, he knew him but had yet to meet him.

Obi put on a smile, the one he gave clients (the fake one), and Shirayuki seemed to notice because her own genuine smile faltered a little.

They shook hands and Raj squeezed a little tighter than necessary, so Obi did the same back.

When they let go and Raj said good bye to Shirayuki, Obi looked down at Shirayuki with a raised eyebrow.

“You know he still wants you, right?”

Shirayuki rolled her eyes. “I’ve made it clear-”

“-not clear enough, Miss,” he said with a sigh as he began to make himself at home on the swivel chair next to Shirayuki.

He looked over at her as he unbuttoned his suit jacket so it didn’t crinkle as he sat down and noticed how she was pretending to make herself busy so that he would leave. He knew all her tricks, the awkward behavior but it had never once been directed at him.

Obi could have said something then too.

After he left, claiming he’d checked the ‘perimeter’ and said in a theatrical voice for her to never fear because he was here (to which she laughed - and that’s progress, he told himself), he was still perplexed.

And then the climactic third weird occurrence.

But it wasn’t her this time that acted so strangely, it was him.

It was 10.53pm exactly. The boss and Kihal had retired, Sir and Miss Kiki were leaving and he was finally chatting to his Miss, like they always did.

The hint of rosy red blushed her cheeks - so yes, the alcohol definitely helped with what ever was going on in his Miss’s head so that she could talk to him properly without averting her eyes.

The incident was minor. She tripped and accidentally knocked over a man’s drink and before the man stood up, Obi’s large indexed palm landed on the man’s chest as he looked down at him and shook his head slowly in warning.

“I-I’m so sorry,” spoke Shirayuki apologetically from behind Obi’s broad shoulders.

As he looked up he saw Miss Kiki and then Sir who were looking concerned.

“Is everything okay?” asked Mitsuhide as his eyes narrowed down at the offending man whom he’d witnessed get up in hostility at their beautiful - but very drunk - head scientist before Obi stepped in just in time.

“Of course, Mister.” And with a wink, everyone was reassured. “We’re all good here, aren’t we Albert?”

The man who was staring at the offending hand on his chest still snapped his gaze up at Obi. 

“My name’s not Albert! Its-”

“Albert, yes, I know,” joked Obi but when his gaze met ‘Albert’s’, the man wondered if it was a warning to not question him.

It was raining, the air was cold (not surprising weather since it was Winter in Clarines) and the wind icy. It was dark too.

He turned his head for one moment (fixing up their bill - it was his round after all) and that filthy pig had his hands on his Miss outside in the alleyway.

She’d been trying to push him away from her and as Shirayuki yelled for Obi, the man had slapped his hand over her mouth.

Suffice to say, the man was thrown to the wet, hard concrete a second later.

Obi couldn’t remember much of the fight. ‘Albert’ had almost gotten a decent hit in except that Obi was so angry he couldn’t see straight so nothing he did really hurt him.

But he remembered her yelling for him to stop and that’s when he felt Mitsuhide grab his arm.

“He’s done, Obi,” sighed Mitsuhide, letting go slowly.

He’d been so careful to not let anyone see that side of him since he’d scored the job with the Wistalia’s - the dark side that only street urchins got to see...and now...

He didn’t know what had come over him or why he’d been so angry.

It perplexed him, which was the reason for his silence as they walked back to Shirayuki’s apartment which wasn’t far from the bar.

He’d glanced over at her a couple of times but she was deadly silent.

“I’m sorry, Obi...what happened...I made you split your knuckles and you shouldn’t have to-”

“Defend your honor?” he snapped, causing them both to stop a block away from Shirayuki’s apartment.

“Y-You were just being a good friend-”

“No, Miss. No one can touch you-” not like I do.

“His hands were on you-” and I can’t stand anyone touching you, but me.

“I just...will you just wait with me next time, Miss? You’re nothing but red-haired trouble.”

Shirayuki beamed up at him and laughed softly, not caring that her newly washed hair was now drenched by the rain.

“I promise.”

PREQUEL TO “PLEASE DON’T SAY YOU LOVE ME”, OCCURS IN LINE WITH “MISUNDERSTANDING”

[blause]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE SPARROW BOY

   “Hinata, how is the banner coming along?” Suga called from his spot on the gym floor, the lip of the orange balloon pinched between his fingers.    “It’s almost do-- stop, Bakageyama! I can reach it!” he yelled, the sound of Kageyama falling off the ladder and onto the floor bouncing off the walls. “It’s almost done, Suga-san!”

   The team was all gathered early in the gym that morning, getting the surprise for their libero’s birthday -- all except for Nishinoya himself and Tanaka, the key distraction to keeping Nishinoya from coming before they were ready for him. Daichi and Suga had asked the team a week before if they wanted to do something for the small boy to show their appreciation and it was hard to tell who yelled the loudest. Now on the cool morning they were in their track suits, blowing up balloons and taping up streamers, Yamaguchi watching intently as Ennoshita drew the stripes on the volleyball cake that he had baked the night before.

   “Asahi,” Daichi said, smacking the man’s thigh. “Knock it off, go take a break from balloons. You’re blue.”    “Stop, I’m fine.” he said, shaking his head and grabbing a new balloon. “I’ve blown up twice as many as you.”    “Keep talking and you won’t be able to blow up another balloon again.”    “Jeez, Daichi…”  

  Tsukishima looked around the gym, eyes jumping on each figure doing their own thing, before shaking his head and returning his focus to the arrangement of what looked like donuts hidden underneath mountains of sprinkles. The libero had a borderline concerning sweet tooth, enough so that Tsuki always needed to go somewhere whenever he brought out melted cookies, candy, and everything in between at tournaments. He still laughed quietly to himself, putting the one that made him most nauseous on top before raising a brow at the sound of a loud buzzing.

   “Suga-san, I believe your phone is…”    “Oh!” the silver haired boy yelped, grabbing for his cell phone. “Uh huh? You’re… I told you to call when you’re at the park! Oh my god okay, alright, bye!” 

   Suga stood up quickly, yelling to his teammates that Tanaka and Nishinoya were only a block away and everyone worked on cleaning up all the plastic bags and kicking the balloons into place. There was a blur of orange as Hinata ran towards the volleyball cart, Yamaguchi helping him move the volleyballs so he could hide. Daichi barked orders for everyone but him and Suga to hide behind the food table, groaning as Asahi nearly knocked the cake onto the floor before ducking down. Moments later, the familiar voices of Nishinoya and Tanaka could be heard outside, loud laughter slipping between the cracks of the heavy doors.

   “She thought I was lying about my birthday!” Nishinoya laughed. “She thought I was lying, Ryuu! I was like five and had a tray of cupcakes and she wouldn’t let me pass them out until she called my mom!”    “Bro, that’s tragic! So did you get to pass them out?”    “Hell yeah! They were delicious, too!”

   The doors swung open with ease as the two strolled in, Nishinoya not even noticing the table as he bounded towards Suga and Daichi with an eager smile, waiting for them to wish him a happy birthday. The two greeted him quickly, turning away so they could hide their smiles as the tiny boy pouted before looking around the gym, confused at how empty it was -- most of the tie the first years were there even before their captains.

   “Hey, Daichi-san? Where is everyone?” he asked, looking around. "And why are there balloons everywhere? Hey! You didn't forg-!"?”    “Happy birthday, Nishinoya!”

   Everyone popped out from behind the table, smiles wide and party hats on, Kageyama blowing the striped noisemaker hanging out of his mouth. Nishinoya jumped into the air in surprise, mouth in a wide smile, before he looked over at Tanaka and punched his arm before running over to the rest of his team, talking animatedly and thanking everyone. It wasn’t until he had two donuts stuffed into his mouth when he noticed something missing. Or someone, rather.

   “Where’s Hinata?”    “Happy birthday, senpai!” Hinata yelled as he jumped up from his hiding spot deep in the cart, volleyballs flying into the air.

[jillwoa]

Kozu Ikazuki and Mamoru Hikigaya are my first OC characters of this series! Thye kinda started it all! Theres alot of trouble around this relationship.. because its not really a relationship!

Anywhoo, this is really an explanation of the twos beginnings, like a prequel to the events in Bitten. Everything is really going to get angsty, and this is probably the only time you will enjoy Kozu as a character. He kinda.. changes later on.

But seeing the before is important to understanding the after!

So enjoy! And again, if you have ANY question, hit me up!

Thanks for reading!

-jill

The first time Mamoru had the nightmare, it felt like the world was collapsing. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness and abandonment shook him awake, throwing him into the silent darkness.

Sitting up and grabbing his neck, Mamoru felt the wet, healing flesh pulse under his fingers, his heart pumping harder than it had ever had.

Struggling to stand, he felt his way along the edge of the bed, his feet never leaving the floor and he inched his way to freedom.

Mamorus chest heaved under his light pajama top, gripped tightly in one hand. He needed… he needed light. He needed air. He needed Kozu. He felt the crushing darkness around him, which only meant Kozu wasn’t here.

His fingers hit a wall and his fingernails scraped the surface looking for a place to hold onto, to keep himself secure, to find his way through the darkness.

Sliding down the wall he weakly called out the name he needed, the words barely passing his lips with any strength. His breathing was shaky under the pressure of the darkness, the loneliness. Kozu wasn’t coming.

Kozu wouldn’t come.

He came once, but he left. He didn’t come back, he walked away. Kozu left him in the darkness, knowing he needed him! Why did he walk away!

After what felt like an eternity, Mamoru slowly stood up, feeling his way across the wall, looking for any way of getting out. He needed to breathe!

He reached out, and jolted when he felt the something in the dark attack him, forcing his arm back to his chest, searing pain firing up into his fingertips. He gasped in pain, clutching it to his chest as he called for Kozu again, knowing he couldn’t expect a response. The pain sent sparks of dizziness through mamoru and he collapsed onto his knees again.

Everything hurt, everything was scary. He couldn’t move without feeling the spikes and the loneliness all around him. It wasn’t safe to move. The loneliness was going to crush him, the darkness would suffocate him, and no one would find him until it was too late. Kozu wouldn’t find him, if he was even looking.

It had been days, or it felt like it, since he had seen Kozu. He saw him in the hospital, briefly. But he left, and he never returned, and now all that visited mamoru was darkness. His Mark burned, it wanted to be close to Kozu, it needed him, Mamoru needed him. But he didn’t care.

Footsteps came thumping towards Mamoru and he curled into a ball. It was danger. It had to be danger.

It could be Kozu

It wouldn’t be!

But it could be

It wasn’t.

“Mamoru?”

A woman’s voice sounded. She was behind a door. The doorknob turned, the mechanism sticking and clunking roughly as it recoiled, making Mamoru jump. The hall light shone through the cracked door, revealing Mamoru on the bedroom floor, curled in a ball. His neck was red, the bandages torn away, bloody fingerprints on the pale skin of his neck, cheek and on his pajamas.

The small body was shaking, and it broke her heart a bit. “Mamoru..” his mother crouched down and reached to touch his side, watching as he flinched at the touch as if it caused him pain.

“-zu” he whispered, not acknowledging, or not recognizing the woman kneeling in front of him.

“Mamoru, sweety” the beta woman cooed, reaching up to touch her son’s cheek, avoiding the red spots.

Soon after the room light was f;licked on by an alpha male, who sighed down at his son, and rubbed his forehead. “just pick him up and put him in bed” the man said and walked away, a tang of defeat in his voice.

“this isn’t his fault!” the woman called after him. “You know that! You heard what the teacher said, it was unexpected, it was sudden, no one could tell he was about to present!”

The man turned around but only briefly. “So what, we live with.. that? He’s never going to be an alpha.” He turned and headed down the stairs, his foots thudding lazily.

Turning back to Mamoru, the woman reached down and lifted him to sit up, and cupped his cheek. “Mamoru, please, mamoru” she lifted him so he was sitting up and pulled him to her chest. Her 14-year-old son, how did things get like this?

Mamoru leaned against her, and he moved his hands up to touch her shoulders moving away from her. He blinked his eyes, seeing the room around him. Coming out of his sleep and nightmare haze things started to piece themselves together.

Earlier on in the evening he had slammed his bedroom door and closed his blinds on purpose. He wanted it to be in the dark. He was angry at his parents, he hated them! They were making him stay at home, when he wanted to be at Kozus. He secluded himself to punish them.

But it backfired, and Mamoru had woken up in pure darkness, terrified and alone.

He looked up at his mother, his eyes watering as he woke up more. He wasn’t scared of the dark, but that didn’t curb the loneliness. He looked around his bedroom, the messy piles of clothes on the floor, the desk covered in homework, they all felt so far away, none of it mattered because he didn’t matter to the person he needed.

“Why wont he come see me mom?” Mamorus voice broke as he turned to the woman in front of him. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing, you’ve done nothing wrong” the mother answered, pulling Mamorus head to her chest, rubbing his back. This was breaking her heart. How could she keep telling her son he did nothing wrong, when she had tried contacting Kozu family every opportunity she had the past 2 days. She called over and over, and was just thrown into the voicemailbox. Her son needed answers, and she could provide them. But she wanted to, with all her heart.

“none of this is your fault baby, you are innocent and pure, and kind, and anyone would be lucky to have you”

“then why doesn’t he want me?!” his voice was muffled by her shirt. “why hasn’t he called, or texted or visited or anything” he gripped her shirt.

“you are not a mistake” she said firmly, and stood up, lifting him with her and walking him to the bed. “give me your phone, try calling him” she said, watching as Mamoru reached for his phone under the pillow.

The smartphone was silent, no notifications causing the led light to blink. The messages remained empty, the call log blank, save for a massive number of outgoing calls to a ‘Zuzu’. Even the social media accounts were barren of interaction, like Kozu was somehow alienating him from everyone he knew all at once.

The screen lit up and mamoru typed in the numbers. He knew them off by heart. ‘647-555-8917’ he whispered, and put the phone to his ear. 2 rings, and then the all familiar voicemail ‘You’ve uh, reached Kozu. Um, yea leave a message.. do people even leave messages? Ill check it I guess… uh.. bye..” BEEEP.

“Kozu.. Zuzu… please. Zuzu please, what did I do, im sorry” he started, clutching the phone with both hands. “please, call me back, I miss you. I need you to respond, please don’t leave me alone anymore, im scared! Please Zuzu-“

‘To save your message, press 1-“

“This is why everyone hates voicemail!’ Mamoru yelled into the device, disconnecting the call and restraining the urge to throw the phone across the room. Instead he clutched it tightly, resting his forehead on the end.

“Mom..-“

The device let out a chime, and another, and another. It was a call? It was a phone call!

Almost dropping the phone, Mamoru accepted the call, and brought it to his ear, slamming it into his head. “Zuzu?!?!”

“Morun!” an angry voice barraged through the phone, but somehow in a whisper. “Stop calling when Ryuu is here! He keeps taking my phone because of you.”

Mamoru shrank a bit, here was the verbal rejection to accompany the physical one.

“I-im sorry Zuzu.. ill.. but I.. I-“

“Why aren’t you going to school!? Go to school tomorrow! Are you hiding at home or something?” he growled. “I’ve been looking for you and you’re not showing up!”

“I-I..im at home why haven’t you come over?” Mamoru sniffled.

“Are you crying?!?” Kozu ignored the question and shuffling was heard on his end. “What reason are you crying? Im the one at school-gah- dealing with all the looks. They think I killed you or something. Hold on” the phone clunked and rustled. It was in a pocket?

“Zuzu?” Mamorus voice chirped.

Mamorus mother was surprised at the phone conversation now. She had been calling the parents, without luck. She had been keeping mamoru home from school to heal, assuming Kozu would be changed schools by now or held at home. If he was attending school, it seemed in her desperation she made some poor choices.

Rubbing Mamorus knee she kissed his forehead and stood up and gave her neck a small tap; she was going to get more bandages to patch him up.

Mamoru wasn’t paying attention, he was trying ot figure out what Kozu was doing.

“Zuzu!” he called into the phone again.

The phone seemed to go dead for a moment before the voice returned, and seemed to be out of breath. “hey, Ma-Morun” he growled a small bit. “I said ‘hold on’ for a reason” he said and the phone went back to rustling.

Each second waiting was a second in hell. Mamoru had Kozu on the line, he was doing something, what was he doing? Mamoru had to get up and pace the room, pushing his hand through his hair.

He looked at the clock, the green numbers displaying 3:16. it was so late, he shouldn’t have called, but hearing Kozus voice already brought up so many emotions. If he got to see him..

“Mamoru, are you there?” the voice was softer, and much clearer. “Mamoru, im coming over. Unlock your front door.

“mamoru, I brought bandages” Mamorus mother chimed, walking back into the bedroom. It didn’t matter, Mamoru was rushing to the front door, unlocking it and running outside onto the street.

“Are you close?” he looked in both directions, his eyes searching frantically for the moving boy.

“I just left my house, ill be like 15 minutes. Don’t wake your parents they’ll call mine!” he growled.

“oh..” mamoru bit his lip and looked back at his house, his father stood in the doorway, scowling.

“What did you do?”

“They’re.. already awake” Mamoru said. “we all kinda woke up a little bit ago” he said. “They wont call your parents through! Please still come, please Zuzu, please please!” mamoru looked over at his father, whose anger changed back into disappointment as he walked back into the house.

“fine. Go inside and make popcorn or something” Kozu said. “I can’t be on the phone the whole time. Ill get there faster if I jog”

Mamoru sniffled and nodded. “Ill put some rice on the stove” he said. “did you already have dinner?”

“Yes, at 8pm, like normal people” Kozu said, and let out a mall sigh at the desperation coming through the phone. “Just popcorns fine”

The blonde boy held his breathe and tried to not let his mind spiral back down into the loneliness. The sigh didn’t mean Kozu didn’t want to see him. The sigh didn’t mean he was annoyed or disappointed, or that he didn’t want to see him… right?

“I-ill let you go then” mamoru said, feeling his voice crack again, and felt a chill creep up his back, making it hard to breathe again. He finally got to speak to Kozu, he didn’t want to mess it up, he didn’t want to screw things up again.

“Mamoru-“ Kozu started but the phone line clicked off, and the screen light clicked off. And once again, mamoru was in the darkness.

Shaking, mamoru walked inside, and set his phone on the counter, face down. He could feel his mother watch him as he walked into the kitchen, hand over his mouth. Kozu was coming over.. he was supposed to be happy. He was happy. He remembered feeling the relief, the euphoria pass through his body and make him feel feather-light. He remembered that feeling so clearly. It lifted him, it made everything brighter.

But that was gone, it left his body like a sigh.

He reached down and grabbed a stove pot, filling it with water. He had to set it to boil. There wasn’t enough time to set up the rice cooker, so minute rice would have to do. It would suffice for a midnight snack.. or maybe should he just make popcorn like Kozu suggested. What if he didn’t want fried rice? But Kozu loved fried rice. But he asked for popcorn.

Mamoru set the stove to a boil and grabbed a bag of popcorn.

“Sweety?” the voice sounded softly, but still managed to jolt the boy. He turned quickly around, and looked up at his mom. His eyes were red, and he covered his mouth again. He was biting his lip, he was trying to keep all of his thoughts inside. He hated her expression when she was in pain, and hearing him word vomit everything he was thinking would just upset her.

“Let me bandage you up” she said, and reached to tilt his head.

“Ko-kozus coming over” he gulped down his word vomit. “y-you saw him in the hospital. He hated it being covered” he said, moving to make the Mark inaccessible.

“But its bleeding, its not going to heal properly if you don’t take care of it” she added some force to her voice.

“I don’t care” mamoru whispered, turning away and pouring the rice into the boiling water, moving it to the next burner “if Kozu doesn’t like it, he might not come back again!” he shouted, pushing away her arms as she tried to secure a bandage over the swollen, bleeding Mark.

Mamoru-“

“Mamoru” the thunderous voice of his father came down the stairs, followed by his body. “You’re going to let your mother put the bandage on. Understand?” he stood in front of his son, his voice curled in a growl. A superior alphas growl..

Mamoru gulped and looked up at his father, hating the paralyzing feeling hat filled his body.

That’s what ensured Alphas maintained hierarchy. Their voice could supress the lower statuses and other alphas, depending on their rank.

Mamoru hadn’t been the recipient of too many alphas growl. Between the scents and the growls, the alphas were pretty much master manipulators or suppressors. The strength and potency of the control really depended on the mood of the alpha, and the age. Most adults could control their temper, and by proxy how much control they exerted on their subordinates. Its part of the reason behind the separation of alphas in schools, and why alphas make up a majority of higher grades teachers; it wouldn’t be good for an alpha student to force a teacher to up their grade because they were a lower status.

His father hadn’t been aggressive towards mamoru before either, because he assumed his on would present as an alpha. But things were intervened. Since then the relationship between them was a bit broken.

“Tilt your head” the growl continued, an Mamoru obeyed, knowing full well Kozu would hate it. He could hear the future interaction.

‘You know I don’t want you covering my Mark!’

‘I know, I told them, they wouldn’t listen!’

‘whose more important? Me or them?’

‘you! Please don’t leave Kozu, please!’

‘I don’t believe you, you disgusting, clingy loser’

Mamoru let out a small choke as the scenario played out, the bandage tied tightly on his neck. It was secured like a diaper, wrapping around his neck and sticking to itself. It was impossible to breathe!

“I-I can’t” mamoru reached to adjust it, but the scent imposing on the kitchen stopped mamoru in his tracks, making it even harder to breathe. “please- I can’t-“

“Don’t touch it” his father verbalized, scowling down at his son for being weak. “that better still be on in the morning, or ill have it stitched into your skin” his voice bit at Mamorus extremities, freezing him in place. Mamoru managed a small nod and that seemed to satisfy the father figure. The heavy scent dissipated to a degree but it left Mamoru feeling a bit dizzy.

The two adults left the room, leaving Mamoru alone in the kitchen. His mother spared a cursory glance back at him, her eyes full of worry, but she didn’t say anything as she was tugged up the stairs. Mamoru slid down the cupboard door, making contact with the cold tile underneath him.

The salt from the tears was beginning to make Mamorus eyes sting, they felt hot. Compared to the tile Mamorus whole body felt hot. It was all on fire, his fingertips were red and sore, his lips were swollen and red from biting back everything he wanted to say. His chest was burning up, the heat flowing up his throat and heating every breath to offer no reprieve to the mess that was his body. but at the center was this frozen ball of dread, that Kozu wasn’t really coming. That this was all a delusion, or possibly Kozu was coming, and he would walk into this mess, this dysfunction of a family. Both options were the worst. He couldn’t face Kozu, but he wanted him so badly to come rescue him and hold him and make everything better!

What if he thought that this was too much, he was too clingy, and needy and his parents were aggressive and rude and he didn’t want any child of theirs in his family. What if he abandoned him for good this time? What if he blamed mamoru for the Mark?

The hyperventilation seemed to at least bring in enough cool air to quell the fire in his chest, but they only revealed more panic ready to fire up and consume Mamorus thoughts.

It took a few solid minutes for Mamoru to stand up, and run his hands under the freezing tap water. He had to put the popcorn in. he had to make the food. Kozu wanted food. Kozu hadn’t had dinner yet. Kozu wanted his favorite food, Kozu asked for it, didn’t he? He had to have.

Mamoru needed Kozu to have asked for food.

The veggies weren’t hard to prepare, a bit of chopping, a bit of sautéing and everything was ready for the rice. He grabbed the pot handle, and turned to pour the puffy rice into the mix.

It took a second for mamoru to notice, but the handle was searing hot. He hadn’t turned off the burner, and left the handle overtop, and the heated metal was now pressed into Mamorus palm.

With a scream Mamoru dropped the pot, rice spilling over the stovetop and counter, knocking into the veggie mix and splashing soy sauce across the backsplash.

Running to the tap mamoru stick his palm under the cold water, but he could already feel it bubbling his skin. There was a definitive red mark running across his palm already, and it hurt to bend his hand.

Looking back at the mess he wanted to slap himself. Dinner was ruined. it was everywhere. How would Kozu want him if he was this stupid! There was rice everywhere some suck in the pot still, most of it was scattered across the stove. The sauce was mostly in the pan but a lot was spilling onto the stove, and onto the burner. Reaching over he turned off the heat, and tried to salvage everything. He gathered the safe rice, which as hard to do one handed, and stirred in the sauce and veggies.

The end result was dismal. There was barely enough for one plate, barely a fistful. How would Kozu believe this was for two people? Was it supposed to be a romantic plate share?? This wasn’t a stupid Disney movie! If it was it wouldn’t be this scary!

He tried making it look pretty, he cut some green onion, he got a second, fancy plate, he got the good chopsticks out. He didn’t want to be a failure.. he wanted the food to look good, even if he was a mess himself. The puffy eyes, swollen lips, strangled neck, bloody pajamas, and now burned and swollen hand. Yea he was a gem. ‘anyone would be lucky’ his mother’s words seemed laughable now.

After making sure the burners were off Mamoru cleaned up the stove, and waited. He didn’t have to wait long. The unlocked door creaked open and Mamorus heart picked up speed.

“Ma?” the voice called out, and the soft footsteps moseyed towards the kitchen. “Did you make the popcorn?”

Mamorus heart sank as he saw the unpopped popcorn bag on the counter, next to the stupid dish of rice.

Mamoru opened the bag and clicked the pre-set popcorn option just as Kozu walked into the kitchen.

“It-its just finishing up” he said, and looked down at the rice.

Reaching down with his burned hand he grabbed as much rice as he could fit in his palm and hid it behind his back, leaving the plate with an outline of the mound that used to be there.

Kozu leaned up on the counter and looked at the microwave timer. “two minutes is almost done?” he smirked. “how long did you put it in for then?” he teased.

Mamoru forced a laugh. “two minutes isn’t long” he said, but the next few seconds felt like forever. He was standing there, with hot rice in his hand, which was already burning, the sauce dripping down his pajama shirt. He needed to throw it away without Kozu noticing. It wasn’t what Kozu wanted. He was vey specific on the phone.

“D-did you take your shoes off?” mamoru asked, hoping he would have an opportunity now.

“Oh oops” Kozu said. “sorry, I was in a bit of a rush”

“you love popcorn that much?” mamoru forced a smile, fighting the corners of his mouth every second.

Kozu frowned, killing Mamorus smile instantly. “I didn’t come over for popcorn, Morun, I came over because you haven’t been okay” he said and sighed again. The sigh. Again, mamoru fucked up.

Pushing the smile out again, mamoru tilted his head. “im okay” he said, praying Kozu didn’t hear his voice shaking.

He didn’t find out if his prayers were answered, because Kozu when toto take off his shoes. Mamoru took that opportunity to open the garbage and empty his hand of rice, and run his hand under the tap once more. The blistering was worse now, and it as really hurting. But a lot of mamoru was in pain at the moment, and in the grand scheme, his hand was only the 3rd most painful right now.

“what’s with the bandage?” Kozu asked, walking back silently without his shoes.

Mamoru reached up and touched the fabric, frowning. “I- my parents.. im sorry. I know you don’t want it covered” he faced away from Kozu to undo the straps, his hands shaking as his father’s threat stuck in his head. He pulled off one side, trying to mask the sound of the Velcro pulling away as he watched the stairs for his father to come back down.

Even one side as still attached it felt so much easier to breathe. It was so tight on his neck, it was like a river of oxygen straight down his throat.

He reached to undo the second strap, but the sound of footsteps made him freeze and turn around. It was just Kozu.

“Let me help” he said, motioning for Mamoru to lean down a bit. He undid the strap and removed the bandage, looking at the Mark. “Its still bleeding” he frowned and touched the edges.

The Mark on the right side of Mamorus neck wasn’t really normal. Kozu kinda.. did it wrong. Marks usually healed flat against the skin, and were a clear set of bite Marks. But the one Mamoru wore had 2 full Marks, and they were puffy. It looked a bit grotesque, but Kozu found it strangely appealing. He really liked it, he liked it on Mamoru. It was his Mark.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked, watching Mamoru flinch at the contact. “your scents off too.” He took an inhale. “and it reeks of your father” he growled slightly.

Mamoru backed away and bit his lip. “he..” he scratched his head nervously. “he wants me to keep the bandage on” he explained “he.. he got really mad about it and stuff” he kept his eyes down. “But you don’t like it, and I told them and-“

“Ma, what’s wrong with you?” Kozu asked, stopping Mamoru in his tracks. “I didn’t- Mamoru come here!” he sighed when he saw the words effect on his Mate. he didn’t mean it like that and Mamoru shouldn’t have taken it like that.

“I meant it as a concern” he said. “what’s wrong, seriously, somethings wrong. You’re upset, and you’re trying to hide it and frankly im insulted. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he walked over to the boy, pulling him into a hug.

“First you disappear from school, then you call me crying, and now you’re acting like im going to beat you” he frowned. “What’s wrong? Seriously?”

Mamoru tried to move out of the hug. He felt the panic rising in his chest again. This was what he wanted, but he didn’t want it. but he did want it.

Scrambling to pull himself away, Mamoru pressed his hand to Kozus shoulder, gasping when the pressure on the burn turned to extreme pain.

Letting go of the blonde boy, Kozu grabbed the hand and looked at it, frowning. “you’re hurt! You’ve got a burn. Why haven’t you taken care of it!” he asked, and pulled mamoru to the bathroom, and pushed him to sit on the toilet while he got the polysporin and bandages.

Kozus hands were so soft on his, it made mamoru want to cry. It felt like that was all he was doing, crying. Here was his Alpha, the boy he wanted to hug and kiss and hold and love, but he was afraid. He didn’t want to spoil the moment and make it all about him, he didn’t want to be clingy or whiny he didn’t want to bore Kozu or annoy him or push him away. Kozu was an alpha now, he wanted strength.

Massaging the crème into his palm, Kozu wrapped a bandage around Mamorus hand, tying it at the back. “is it too tight?” he asked, and mamoru shook his head.

“Good, then let’s get the popcorn and sit on the couch” he said and took Mamorus uninjured hand.

Mamoru stood in silence as he watched the alpha.

“What’s this from?” Kozu nudged the plate on the counter, the one that previously held the rice Mamoru had almost died making.

“I-nothing” mamoru said, fidgeting with his fingers. “It was just something stupid” he turned to walk to the livingroom, but heard Kozu inspecting more around the plate. He saw the dirty dishes in the sink, evidence of recent cooking.

“You made food” he said, a slight smirk showing up on his lips, but mamoru just saw the anger that he didn’t listen.

“were you hungry? I mean I just asked for popcorn because I was looking for a snack, you can make food for yourself” he said and shrugged. He grabbed the bag and headed to the livingroom, waiting for mamoru to follow him.

Mamoru sat next to him, and fidgeted with his fingers. “I-“

“go get the bandage” Kozu interrupted. “if your dad got that mad, and its going to stress you out, then its fine.” He said, popping a few kernels in his mouth and moving Mamorus hair to see the mark and smile. “its really pretty though. Do you like it?”

Mamoru touched the edges and smiled softly. He really did like it. it wasn’t like other Marks, it was special to him, and it was from Kozu. It was a special mark from his Alpha. Even if it was ‘disfigured’ like his mother called it, he liked it, and he hated it when they tried to convince him to get a plastic surgeon to fix it. it wasn’t broken!

“I love it Zuzu.” He looked over at the alpha. “I love it so much”

Kozu smirked proudly. “good, im glad. Now go get the bandage, ill put it on. It looked too tight last time anyways” he said.

Mamoru stood up and walked to the kitchen, grabbing he bandage from the counter. There were spots of blood on the cotton, but it wasn’t like he was actually bleeding. He was about to turn back when he heard footsteps again and saw Kozu walking towards him.

“I-I was coming.. back” he trailed off. He hadn’t meant to be so slow..

“no no, I was going to get a washcloth anyways” Kozu said, and found a cloth and running it under the tap. He didn’t have to ask about where things were. He had been over enough times.

Mamoru had been best friends with Kozu for as long as either of them could remember. Kozu was over all the time, and knew both of Mamorus parents, often using their fist names. He had been a shy boy, meek and passive. He was bullied by his older brother Ryuu, an alpha, to an almost abusive level. The number of times Mamoru had to patch up Kozu..

But the roles were reversed, and now Kozu was the one caring for Mamoru. Kozu was the alpha, and Mamoru was the Mate.

While no one truly knows before the child presents during puberty, people speculate based on genetics and personality traits. Kozu, who had been the most shy and weak child was never assumed an alpha-to-be. Mamoru on the other hand, was.

“when I present, ill Mark you and take you away from Ryuu and protect you” 7-year-old Mamoru proclaimed one day. Without the real notion of what a Mark was, the little boy knew it meant you loved someone and wanted to be there for them. Parents were Marked pairs, celebrities, mentors, they all proclaimed the love that came with being Marked, and to Mamoru that meant Kozu was his to Mark. Presenting would be like a thumbs up to Mark his friend, the one he loved.

But that’s not how things worked out. The Marking wasn’t romantic or soft or filled with love. It had been terrifying, unexpected, filled with pain. Whereas Mamoru should have gone through Aftercare, he was tossed into a sterile hospital room for 3 days, without being given the opportunity to present.

Aftercare was important after a Marking. It was like a reinforced bonding or an emotional knotting. It could take a few minutes to a few hours. It was when the Alpha helped the Marked one through any pain, helped to Seal the Mark, and scent one another. Alphas became extremely sensitive to others in their surroundings, who may be looking to interfere, or hurt the Marked One. Some seemed to lose all reason and fall into the basic instincts or go feral, especially if it was their first Marked one.

Aftercare was an intimate, soft, and absolutely necessary process, that Mamoru was robbed of.

Because of the lack of Aftercare, his Mark hadn’t sealed and wouldn’t heal flat. The nights spent alone in the hospital room created this disconnect, essentially closing off the intimacy between the two of them. Marking brought an inherent closeness, a conjoined aspect, and that was created or reinforced during aftercare.

For 3 days Mamoru sat alone, until Kozu came to see him.

Hospitalization wasn’t a normal occurrence for new Markings, even if they take place at a school. Most schools had Heat Rooms set up that if it occurred, mostly for the protection of other students if the Alpha was sensitive.

Heat Rooms were usually reserved for an omega who entered their Heat, with scent blockers and reinforced walls and doors, but they served their purpose for both scenarios.

Mamoru hadn’t presented yet, which posed the problem and the need for hospitalization.

A child may present as an Alpha or Omega, with tell-tale behavioral tells. If nothing significant happens the child is deemed a beta, which was about 70% of the instances. Alphas would present though extreme anger outbursts, enhanced aggression and a more forward or confrontational approach to things.

Omegas presentations would show through the enhanced scenting, and sensitivity, the more passive personalities, and a larger reaction to alpha adults or classmates.

No matter the status they children would undergo a physical change, the skin on their neck would change. Alphas experienced little change, but omegas and betas skin would change significantly, to prepare for Marks.

Much like teething or growing pains, the neck area would often feel tingly or itchy, and would be easier to scratch, scar or Mark. Only after Presenting that strip of skin would be ready to accept, and settle a Mark properly. With mamoru having not presented at the time of his Making proved dangerous, because his body did not have the processes set in place to take the Mark and heal itself. The blood wouldn’t stop.

“You have blood everywhere, what did you do? Murder someone?” Kozu asked, wiping Mamorus forehead, cheek and fingers. “Its on your pajamas too” he sighed and started unbuttoning Mamorus shirt. “what did you do?”

Mamoru blushed when he felt Kozus fingers graze his skin. He was still deeply in love with the male, his crush only growing since his promise at the age 7.

“I think I scratched it. I woke up and it was bleeding again” he answered. “Y-you don’t have to-“

“Ma, shut up” Kozu smirked up at him and poked him with the cloth. “I want to. I want to do stuff like this. I want to, I promise” he looked up at him until mamoru nodded in understanding.

Sliding the shirt off, Kozu reached up and secured the bandage on Mamorus neck, adjusting it 3 different times until it wasn’t constricting his breathing.

“should I lick it first?” Kozu suggested, after finally getting the bandage on. “If its bleeding, it hasn’t Sealed. I mean its been 5 days”

Mamorus cheeks burned when he imagined Kozu leaning over and licking his neck. It was.. intimate and romantic and kinda sexual..

“I-I-if you think that would be helpful” Mamoru looked away, pushing his hand into his hair. “I-I mean its up to you, I don’t want to impose, im.. im not the alpha here its to you really if you want to. I can’t say for sure what ill-“

Kozu let out a soft chuckle and took Mamorus hand and pulled hmu to the couch. “sit. Pull your hair over. Its so damn long now” he messily pushed the strands away from the bandage, pulling off the freshly applied straps.

“I feel like I should be grossed out right now. Im about to essentially kiss your neck, with an open, bloody wound” Kozu said. “but im not.. its weird” he looked up at Mamoru, whose face was all red. “If its gunna gross you out, pretend im a girl trying to get in your pants or something” he said. “now that’s gross”

Before Mamoru had time to properly brace himself, the soft lips came down on his neck, enveloping Mamoru in almost a glow of happiness.

The feelings came from more than just that the one he loved was touching him. While that feeling sent shivers up his spine and gave him goosebumps, the warmth from the Mark was almost overwhelming. The late Aftercare, the Alpha contact, the intimate contact with the Mark as the go-between, it felt like something had clicked into place, like Mamoru could breathe again, like things were going to be okay.

Physically things didn’t feel like they changed, his neck felt wet, and his skin felt tingly. He looked down at Kozu as he pulled away, wiping his lips for saliva.

“How does that feel?”

Mamoru stared down blankly for a moment, unaware Kozu had spoken. He looked unbelievably attractive, and Mamoru couldn’t help but want to lean down and kiss him. He almost let out a moan when Kozu was on his neck. But that would only have worsened the situation.

“Ma?” Kozu poked his chest, making Mamoru blink and touch his neck. There wasn’t any blood, but now it was sticky. It didn’t feel gross though..

“Thanks” the body smiled and exhaled. “it.. it helped more than you know” he bit his lip.

With a smile Kozu brought the bandage around and secured it again, making sure it wasn’t hurting Mamoru.

“Is it okay that you’re not at home?” Mamoru asked after a moment. “Wont your parents be mad?”

“my parents? Neither of them are really home too often. Ryuus the one I’ve got to worry about. He’s like.. dead set on making sure I hate being an alpha” he said. “he’s taken my phone, he’s sabotaged my uniform, its annoying as all hell” he frowned “he’s upset that im an alpha now too. I told you he was the reason I couldn’t get to you in the hospital, right?”

Mamoru nodded, but the memory made him frown. “I hate Ryuu. I needed you so badly” he said. “It was so lonely, and I thought you..” his throat felt a bit tighter as he tried to speak. “I thought you didn’t want me. I thought I was being abandoned”

“What?! No, no way in hell!” Kozu sat up and turned to face Mamoru. “that’s not happening.” He gripped his shoulders. “im not abandoning you. I will never abandon you, I promise. I swear on my life, Ma, Mamoru, Morun. You are my Mate, you have my Mark. That means I will take care of you forever, until one of us dies” he hugged him tightly. “don’t ever think ill abandon you, ever again.”

Mamoru hugged back, and buried his nose into Kozus neck. He smelled warm, like the Zuzu he had known forever.

Kozus face shot red and he held Mamoru back a bit. “w-w-well someone’s bold!” he stammered. He wasn’t expecting Mamoru to go for the neck, Scenting like that was something more.. intimate. They may be Mates but they weren’t romantic at all! Mamoru was his best friend.. not his boyfriend.

Mamoru was a bit shocked at first but quickly realized the mistake. Kozu didn’t love him in that way. Mamoru knew that from the beginning, he just..

“Sorry” he sniffled. “sorry, im such a mess. I’ve been out of sorts since I woke up“ he said, moving so Kozu didn’t have to hold him back. “I wont do that again”

Since the beginning, Mamoru had been adept at reining in his urges and not letting Kozu catch onto his feelings. It wasn’t particularly difficult, but it was harder now. He wanted to be held by Kozu and hugged and touched and comforted, but that wasn’t what Kozu could handle. It wasn’t going to happen.

Mamoru would have to learn how to cope, to self soothe.

Pulling his knees to his chest, Mamoru handed Kozu the TV remote. He doubted the boy wanted to sit in silence.

Tossing the remote onto the floor Kozu sighed. “I told you already!” he frowned. “I came here for you, not for food or TV. You were crying on the phone, why. Tell me why, right now” he wrapped his arms around Mamorus shoulders, pulling his head to his chest.

The 14 year old chest wasn’t exactly a tempurpedic, but it was exactly where Mamoru wanted to be. Releasing the hold on his knees he wrapped his arms around Kozus waist. His hair was stroked and he looked up at his Alpha.

“I just.. I had a nightmare. From when I was in the hospital” he said. “that.. and not seeing you.. I just.. I missed you so much Zuzu” he hugged him tightly, squeezing the air from the younger boy’s body. “I was so scared. I don’t want you to hate me or leave me or regret me-“

“Morun” Kozu whispered, and rubbed Mamorus back. “So, what was it, were you actually in the hospital?” he asked, “was Takeshi there” his voice flattened. He hated Takeshi.

Mamoru nodded then shook his head. “No one was there. It was just me. For days. It felt like years. No one was there, I was all alone”

“were there monsters? Or something to be afraid of?” he asked, keeping the touch on Mamorus back constant.

“No” The boy shook his head. “nothing happened. There weren’t any monsters”

“Then you have nothing to worry bout” Kozu said. “you just wait to wake up. Nothings going to hurt you. You’ll be fine”

Mamoru was hesitant to agree. Kozu didn’t understand. He didn’t know how it felt.

“The Marks changed things” Mamoru whispered. He didn’t know how to make Kozu understand. “Its changed a lot, its connected us” he looked up at Kozu. “now… the thought of you abandoning me is more painful than.. if I cut off a limb” he said. “And you didn’t show up, for three days. That’s three days of physical pain and anxiety and the never ending fear that everything had gone wrong!” he gripped Kozus arms, trying to keep his composure. Just talking about it was making his throat tighten up.

“its worse than being suffocated by an Alpha growl. Its worse than waiting for exam results. It feels like im waiting for an executioner!” Mamorus voice got louder as his throat tightened. Kozu didn’t get it! He would never understand! He did this! and he would never understand!

“There may not be monsters or scary things in the nightmare, but I had to relive that fear and pain for what felt like DAYS. Weeks even!” he let go of Kozus arms and stood up, his legs shaky. “you weren’t there! You Marked me, and you didn’t come for me” Mamoru sniffled. “and when you did.. you didn’t stay. You left me” he looked at Kozu, and felt a wave of guilt wash over him.

Since when did he become to whiney. He was being too possessive. He was expecting too much from Kozu. He was pushing his insecurities onto his best friend. Kozu had always been a bit flighty. Suddenly Presenting as an Alpha wouldn’t change that instantaneously. Of course, he would be too shy to come by or feel awkward or something. That’s why everyone thought he would ben a beta or omega.

Mamoru was confusing his romantic feelings with the feelings from the Mark. He couldn’t expect Kozu to make everything better, or want to hold him close or want to kiss him. But.. he kinda did expect that.

“Years of planning what to do after I marked You..” he trailed off. “S-sorry. I put unrealistic expectations on.. you..” he frowned. Everything inside of him felt like it was a mess. He wanted to curl into a ball and cry.

“Ma,” Kozu stood up and moved towards him.

“Don’t!” Mamoru stepped back. “Don’t touch me. Ill just.. ill cope”

Kozu let out a small growl and grabbed Mamorus wrist, careful of the burn on his palm. “just stop this.. sacrificial crap. You’re not doing this alone you know, im here too!”

“But you don’t know-“

“there’s a lot I don’t know! but that doesn’t mean im never going to know it! and that doesn’t mean you can’t tell me. You were prepared for all this, so don’t just run away and take all the secrets with you” Kozu scowled. “you can’t leave me here by myself either!”

Mamoru looked down at Kozu and sniffled.

“if I knew you would have a nightmare from me not going to see you I would have chewed through my arm to escape Ryuu and come see you. I didn’t even know where you were. They didn’t tell me anything!”

Looking up at Mamoru, Kozu sighed at the red puffy eyes. “What can I do right now, in this moment, to make you feel better?” he asked. “and what can I do in the future? Come on boy-wonder, share your secrets”

Mamoru bit his lip. He wanted to say something but Kozu would shoot it down. He should shoot it down. It was dangerous. It would get them in trouble. But..

“Sleep with me”

It took a few seconds to sink in before Mamorus head exploded. “I meant like actual sleep, in a bed or couch or something. Nothing.. not THAT kind of sleep together” he tried pulling away to go hide his face in a corner and die of embarrassment.

Kozu held onto his wrists and nodded” Alright” he smirked and hook his head. “So, bed or couch”

Mamoru looked down at Kozu and paused. “What?”

“I said sure, lets go to bed. If that’s what will make you feel better, its not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before.” He said. And if you have another nightmare I can be there to reassure you when you wake up” he let go of Mamorus wrists and waited for him to decide.

“b-bed” Mamoru said and headed towards the stairs. He turned around before they ascended. “A-are you sure its okay?” he asked.

Kozu pushed mamoru so he started up the stairs. “yes! Its fine!” he laughed. “im your alpha and I say its fine. Trust me for once”

Mamoru wiped his nose. “last time I trusted you..” he let out a snicker. “I ended up in the lake”

“Well now you’ll end up in bed” he went and turned off the bedroom light, making his way slowly back to the bed.

Mamoru crawled into the sheets and felt the bed dip as his alpha crawled in.

“Ma? Come here” Kozu wrapped his arms around Mamorus shoulders. “im sorry. I should have gotten to you sooner. I haven’t been a very good Alpha but im going to get better. Ill be the best, strongest Alpha. As long as im a higher rank than Ryuu I can protect you from him” he said. “he’s evil incarnate and you’re… you’re an angel” he tightened his hug. “So help me, lets do this together okay?”

Mamoru didn’t answer for a moment, and Kozu assumed he had gone to sleep already, until he piped up. “next time answer your phone”

~

The nightmares didn’t stop, and occurred on almost a nightly basis. It was clear after 6 weeks of Kozu making midnight trips to the hanasaki household that things needed to change, and they did. An apartment was made available in a nearby building for the two of them to live in. Well, ‘made available’ but the apartment had been set aside for Ryuu when he found a Mate. For the time being it was given to Kozu and Mamoru.

The two shared a bed in order to keep Mamorus nightmares under control. Takeshi Izumi, a doctor, brought to light the Aftercare dilemma, suggesting that as the cause.

“I offered to help you until Kozu came for you” the young doctor sighed. “it could have prevented this.”

“You couldn’t promise me that it would affect my bond with Kozu” Mamoru responded. “I wasn’t exactly making decisions with a clear head either” he frowned. “I was scared and panicked”

“Touch my Mate again and ill rip your arm off” Kozu growled, standing in between the doctor and Mamoru. He wouldn’t forget what the medical bastard did.

Armed with information, the two tried ways of stopping the nightmares, from voice recordings of Kozu played on repeat into Mamorus headphones, to working on their skinship, to sleeping with their wrists tied together, anything to tell mamoru that Kozu was right next to him, and stop the nightmares.

None of it worked.

Night after night, Mamoru would sit up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat, on the verge of tears. Kozu would sit up next to him, rub his back a bit, try and reassure him everything was okay, and lull him back to sleep.

As they aged, Kozus involvement lessened. With the addition of Misono to their pack, the three of them moved to a larger apartment and Mamoru slept in his own bed.

The nightmares continued, and it was Mamorus turn to make the nightly pilgrimage to Kozus bed post-nightmare.

The blonde would creep down the hall, still in the process of waking up, and stand in the doorway. “Kozu? Are you there?” the boy would whimper, his body shaking.

He would wait for a sound of confirmation, be it Kozus voice, or the sound of him moving in bed, before heading to the bed and crawling in. Kozu would rub his chest, rub his arm, comfort him like before until he could breathe and fall asleep.

He was grateful to the Alpha for putting up with his nightmares for this long, and he tried reining in the neediness a bit, he didn’t want to bug him more than he had to.

Kozu seemed to share the sentiment as they got older, becoming increasingly frustrated and agitated by the nightmares and the routine they needed. They even sparked an argument once or twice.

“For Christ’s sake mamoru! Why does this have to be every night! I just fell asleep! Cant you handle it one night by yourself!” the alpha scowled as he was woken up by the blonde again, at 3am. It was like clockwork! Every night at 3am.

“Can’t you just. set an alarm at 2 and stay awake until 3 or something? Try and skip it if its on such a schedule!”

The outburst had shocked Mamoru, and for a few days at least he tried to handle it on his own. He tried not sleeping, he tried ‘skipping’ it like Kozu had suggested. When those didn’t work and he woke up feeling like he couldn’t breathe again, he forced himself away from Kozus room and sat on the balcony for a few hours, trying to force air into his chest. It was painful. It had been a while since he had to deal with his nightmare on his own; Almost 3 years. It didn’t help that Kozu was pissed at him.

After a week of self-management, Kozu joined Mamoru on the balcony at 4am.

He brought hot chocolate.

“Have they gotten better over the past few years at all?”

Mamoru shook his head, sipping the liquid. “I don’t even know I’ve woken up for like 5 minutes” he said. It was why his bed was pressed against the wall. Hospital beds weren’t against the wall. It would serve as a remainder of some sorts that he wasn’t in the hospital.

“I didn’t say avoid me when they happen. I was tired and stressed. I didn’t mean it Morun”

Mamoru let out a soft smile, more or less forcing it. “its okay if you meant it. I’ve been relying on you too much to help me get through them. Maybe if I handled the on my own they’d get better, or id get used to them-“

“Worst idea ever” Kozu interrupted, stopping that train of thought immediately. “you want to try and ‘get used to’ that level of fear?” he frowned. “don’t be stupid. I never want you to feel like being scared is normal. Its abnormal, and it is dealt with by both of us.” He moved closer to Mamoru and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, rubbing his back.

“im not going anywhere. Im not abandoning you. Im not pushing you away.” He reassured, lifting Mamorus hair to see his Mark, the raised teeth marks labelling Mamoru as his.

Mamoru was done crying, but that didn’t stop him from sniffling and trying to hide his emotions in the beverage. He leaned onto Kozus side and tilted his neck to let Kozu see.

“How did you know I was out here?”

“the bed was never messy on your side of the bed” Kozu said. “even when you wake up earlier, you never make the bed before you go.” He said. “Morun”

Even after the resolution, Mamoru was hesitant about beelining it for Kozus room. He would wait, sometimes an hour, before crawling between the sheets. He tried hot showers, he tried browsing Facebook, he tried watching tv. He even tried masturbating, but nothing could calm him down enough, even when he was surrounded by his and Kozus things. He could be wearing Kozu jacket and looking at a picture of him, but it didn’t hold a candle to the instant relief that cuddling up to Kozu gave him. The Touch, the contact, the physical aspect of holding him and claiming him banished the residual nightmare, and made the air breathable again.

But after the fight, Mamoru couldn’t go back to feeling as comfortable asking for help as he had been. A part in the back of his mind told him that Kozu was only acting like he was okay with it, that it was still driving him insane. Kozu would try and take Mamorus feelings into consideration, surely, and telling him that it was a momentary lapse of frustration would be a face saver. That didn’t stop Mamoru from feeling self-conscious about his clinginess.

He used to be so open about how much help he needed. He would need help with high shelves, or a recipe, or lifting things even, he would happily call on Kozu. He would rely on him for a lot of things. But things changed. And mamoru stopped asking for help. Kozu stopped offering as well.

Mamoru had his duties he performed, Kozu had his. That’s how things should be. Mamoru couldn’t expect others to rescue him every time. Even if he did crawl into Kozus bed still on a nightly basis, he didn’t wake him up. Maybe once every two weeks he would purposefully wake Kozu, but the rest of the time he watched him sleep. He deserved sleep. He deserved a lot more.

“Kozu?” Mamoru stood in the doorway, one hand rubbing his chest, the other holding the door.

There wasn’t a reply from the bed, but Mamoru walked in anyways. He closed the door behind him, blocking out any light that would wake Kozu. He walked over to the bed, and slid under the covers. He faced away from Kozu, and stayed by the edge.

He took a deep breath and felt his breath shudder. He had to keep quiet.

He let out a surprised gasp when he felt arms from the left side of the bed pulling him backwards towards the middle of the bed.

“Ma” a sleepy Kozu murmured. “Nightmare?”

Mamoru nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Mamoru wanted to say yes. He wanted those familiar words, that reassurance, that comfort and Touch and he wanted to ask for help again, but before he could answer Kozu was already snoring.

Rolling over Mamoru got really close, wrapping his arms around Kozus torso and burying his face in his chest. “yes, I do want to talk about it” he whispered, almost mouthing it.

But Kozu wouldn’t hear it.

My OC charys! Charcter Introduction: Kozu and Mamoru Kozu Ikazuki and Mamoru Hikigaya are my first OC characters of this series! Thye kinda started it all!