#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is ���what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not

[shocked-collar]

tips for writing Lawrence? I really admire your writing.

IUKJ,MSEDNGBLKJGLESJLSDERG FIRSTLY THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I'M LITERALLY SO STRUCK??? MY WRITING???? ADMIRABLE???? I FEEL LIKE MY TEETH ARE GONNA FALL OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*fixes suit and tie* anyway

reminder that i am not gato and these are all my interpretations. the best part about fandom communities is that each mind thinks so alike yet independently, and the way you write a character won't be exactly the way another person does and that's your own personal magic touch.

Just like Ren, Lawrence has certain rules I like to stay attached to. The problem with HIM though is he's such a wild card it's hard to know when these rules apply.

Rule one is to remember Lawrence is isolated. He's used to being on his own and doing things on his own so he doesn't expect or even reach out for help. The idea of another human being kind or helpful for no reason is foreign, if not unrealistic to him.

Rule two is to remember that Lawrence has a very, very specific routine he lives by every week, rarely with interruptions. He's a homebody. He likes things his way and can't have them any other way. It's irritating and gives him a very strange sense of urgency when they're not. This is dangerous because that urgency can very quickly become aggression, as can a lot of things.

Rule three is to remember Lawrence is human. He's pretentious as fuck and speaks so poetically of death, wants to die so very badly, has done incredibly terrible things to people in the name of art, mentally separates himself from the public, believes he's better off locked up somewhere, yet reacts as any other person does to very many things. He says he wants to die, yet cries when his life is threatened or he's scared. He's certain he hates people and people hate him, yet yearns for the company of others who understand him and partakes in communities, even if just online. He says he's better off inside, yet left his house to meet a friend 2 weeks into talking online. He's a 'terrible person,' yet only takes MC home because he didn't want to leave them out there all alone. He's more human than he realizes.

Rule four is to remember he's proficient in gaslighting. Lawrence doesn't think the way other people do! Everything and anything can have meaning, and it's usually what he wants to see. He can make up anything on the fly if it protects him from guilt, fault, sorrow, anxiety, whatever it is he needs to be shielded from. He's quite the brat, so challenging him on any of his interpretations makes him irrationally bothered and he may not even speak to you anymore afterwards. He also uses this mental-protection to keep his world view in order, like in the situation in BTD2 when Ren leaves and he takes it out on you. It was REN who insisted you hangout a while, it was REN who left on a whim- but to Lawrence, you being there at all was the problem and it's all your fault.

Rule five is to keep the image of creepy in mind! Lawrence embodies the type of person you wouldn't want to be caught alone in an elevator with. He just radiates 'bad person' vibes, and his smell and quietness of his voice doesn't help.

And finally, rule six is to remember that Lawrence is a wild card. How he behaves depends on pretty much every single individual circumstance in whatever situation he's in. If he's uncomfortable he could be irritable, if the room has more than 2 other people in it he could be feeling intimidated, if he's meeting with a friend online he could be hesitant and scared, if something scary happens big or small it could launch him into a panic, anxiety, or aggressive attack, if someone's talking and their mouth sounds too wet it could make him hurt himself, if he's bored but nothing seems entertaining enough it could force him to dissociate, he could like this taste or feeling one day and absolutely hate it the next, his opinions on specific people change like the static on TV...

I like to think of Lawrence like an alligator, as they're opportunistic feeders and usually don't attack without provocation. Problem is with Law, you don't really know how you provoked him half the time. He's such an interesting, confusing character that I'm not even sure how to write it down in a way that makes sense. It all really depends on how YOU want to write him.

AGAIN, I'm not sure I helped??? this one is. a lot worse than rens imo. BUT I DID MY BEST AND AGAIN THANK U SM FOR LIKING MY WRITING HEEHEEHEHUEHENRKJDFGNDFLKJGGF

[taldigi]

I find a fascination in like, people who indulge very heavily in (ands swear by their love of) the Persona romances.

I find them quite uninteresting because of how one-sided they all are-- and I honestly dont blame the MCs (or even the writing) as it's just a limitation of the games and their strict adherence to the need of a silent protagonist. Ultimately, I feel that the romance system only succeeds when: A) you are immersed in you as the main character or B) seeking just a little more story from your chosen romancable.

Personally, I find them uninteresting because I am of the opinion that romances are a two-person affair (polyshipping variables aside) that need a push and pull from all sides to work. The girls can't be tooooo interested in you, because what if they arent your chosen girl? Wherein the other members of the team are allowed to have a closer or more intimate relationship with the protagonist. (Aigis as a romancable feels like the exception in this case, because she is allowed to be intimate right off the bat and her relationship with the protagonist ends up being one of the most important and fleshed out onesones)

I think thats a big reason why Ryomina, Souyo and Pegoryu i mean pegoryu i mean pegoryu- Shuake are the three big ones- cause while yeah, yaoisms play a big part, it's that their respective relationships run deeper, are more intertwined, and are mutually reciprocated (romantic or otherwise) in ways that the series seems almost afraid of letting happen with a romancable character (aigis, once again being the exception: but iirc I dont think she was romancable in vanilla)

But then I come across people who are really entrenched in putting themselves in the MC's shoes. (I feel this is a huge reason why Chad Narukami and harem route Amamiya/Fucking Kawakami are really entrenched in fandom brainrot) and like, are super into the romances and it wilds me. Maybe it's because I essentially can never find myself in the mindspace to place myself in their shoes in a way that lets "me" romance the characters-- so even though im gay as fuck, I can never really vibe with the romances because they dont feel like anything- leaving me sitting and sighing and wishing I could have my MC romance the best friend instead.

idk, idle thoughts ig. Valemtimes.

[tavina-writes]

I’ve kind of had this post/a version of this post brewing for two weeks or more now, but like, last night I left a discord community I’d been a part of since the pandemic, where I was one of the first and founding members, over something that I guess could be considered “not that big a deal” and that was definitely…something that stung certainly. Typically, I’m not exactly a “pack up it’s time to hit the bricks” sort of person, and overall I think I can say that I’m fairly? okay/open to talking about things in a way that’s meant to be explanatory/educational especially as it comes to be Chinese Diaspora.

Yet I also think that at this point it was impossible for me to stay because at this point I am so sick and tired of the rampant Sinophobia that exists in fandom spaces, especially ones that demand that CMedia caters to their sense of aesthetics regarding pretty gay men while fetishizing/refusing to engage with the very real problems that Chinese Diaspora/Chinese Nationals face, especially when we try to point things out.  

In this case, this particular discussion was brought about re: a discussion about Falun Gong. which is a cult. And when I pointed out that saying “only China and Russia will be happy about a decrease in US hegemony on the global stage” was uhhh pretty Sinophobic of them (admittedly, not politely and perhaps too emotionally for people to take me seriously), they responded with “It’s my right to criticize whatever country I want actually even if it’s one you like and you can’t just accuse me of -phobia or whatever because of this” along with some other stuff that basically amounted to “I have 0 empathy about a number of very personal issues that you’re currently facing because I’m not American and your country sliding into fascism is your own fault wah wah cry harder.” 

Given that I’d known this person for going on four or more years now, this was…really a “ah, we’ve completely lost you to multiple brands of Kool Aid here” moment. And instead of staying to argue my point, or to try to explain that maybe this server that was primarily about anime with a smattering of cdrama on the side really shouldn’t be so chill with this sort of talk (After all, how often is it that someone prefaces their love of anime with: oh but don’t worry! I don’t support anything that the Imperial Japanese Government Did or anything they’re currently or have done in the past to Ainu people!) I decided to leave. 

In some sense, I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome. I’d become this sort of killjoy, you see, because there’s only so many times you can point out a problem to a person or a group without starting to becoming that one person that’s too serious or always stomping on other people’s fun or policing them for “incorrect” expressions of their thoughts or whatever. 

And this brings me to the like “what is a killjoy?” part of this thought because so much of life is about those sorts of battles: when do I think it might be safe to express an opinion? When do I think it’s okay to say ���hey that wasn’t a great statement to make, cut it out” ? How often do I think I might be supported or heard when it comes to something like that? Who am I creating pushback for — the person who said something shitty or the other people who might not realize or not know what to say in response to something shitty? 

So much of the time, I err on the side of trying to explain that Chinese people, ethnically Chinese diaspora, Chinese nationals, whatever are people who gasp! Have thoughts and feelings and possess a modicum of intelligence perhaps like you do, instead of just saying “oh fuck off” or fucking off myself. So much of the time, I debate whether it’s polite to mention that this thirst to see pretty gay Asian men combined with this blanket rage at “censorship by the evil government” (as if censorship regarding queer subjects does not exist in the English speaking west) or “government propaganda” (as if, laughably, governmental propaganda does not exist in the English speaking west) is in fact, actively alienating to those who are ethnically Chinese. 

Or if perhaps, by stretching and bending and purposefully misunderstanding the customs of Chinese characters and erasing their names and traditions and refusing to engage with our holidays and substituting your own is a form of microaggressive violence towards those in your fandom community who are Chinese. 

After all, if I do point this out, it’s a matter of “Tav, literally we just want WangXian to celebrate Christmas, it’s harmless.” (We will refuse to learn about new years traditions beyond Gong Xi Fa Cai and exaggerated bows and we will refuse to engage with Qingming or Mid Autumn or ancestor worship or filial piety if we even know what those are because those aren’t sexy and familiar as decorating a fucking Christmas tree after all.) 

As for exactly what this particular longtime acquaintance had said was my own fault re: America’s slide into fascism — my youngest maternal cousin died two weeks ago, and my mother is too terrified of leaving the country to go to his memorial service because she’s afraid that as a green card holder, she won’t be able to make it back into the country to ever see her husband or daughters again with the way this current administration is handling things. 

He was twenty four years old and his parents’ only child. 

But yes, perhaps I was impolite in my expression of what I was afraid of.

[gmwsuperfan5467890]

Defending Eddie Diaz Part 1

Over the past few months, I have been seeing a lot of takes of the midseason finale and there a quite a few that I respectfully disagree with. So I am going to throw my hat in the ring and give my take on a couple of points. I’ll split this post into 3 parts because it got way too long.

1) Buck is being abandoned.

Let me preface this by saying that Buck is one of my favourite characters and I have adored watching his character development over the years but the way the fandom infantilizes him is quite frankly ridiculous. This man is 33 years old, not a teenager. Of course we know that he won’t cope well and will feel abandoned but he also has the emotional intelligence to understand that Eddie is not abandoning him and that this is something Eddie believes he needs to do to get Christopher back into his life. Christopher is also Eddie’s child, so of course Eddie will prioritize his child above all that and Buck understands that, respects that and loves that about Eddie.

Buck knows that Eddie loves him. Why? Because Eddie has shown it in a thousand different ways. Eddie takes the time to understand Buck, when everyone else accused him of rushing into dangerous situations because they thought that he thought he was invincible, Eddie knew it was because Buck thought he was expendable. Eddie entrusted him with his child (which is essentially his heart), has always taken Buck seriously and gave him responsibilities, while others at the 118 saw Buck as the little brother of the group (makes sense given that he is several years younger than the rest of them, excluding Ravi and Eddie). Eddie forgives Buck instantly when he fucks up and even when Buck sprained Eddie’s ankle, instead if getting mad, Eddie felt guilty about getting closer to T*mmy and “leaving Buck out” and was worried that Buck was mad at him and would not want to speak to him. When Eddie was dying after getting shot, his last words before he went unconscious were asking if Buck was ok. Maybe Buck thinks that Eddie loves him platonically (lmao) but he definitely know that Eddie loves him and wants him in his life, therefor he is not leaving him because he wants to but because he has to.

I am so sick and tired of this narrative that Eddie doesn’t contribute to the buddie friendship, that Eddie is taking advantage of Buck, that Eddie doesn’t love Buck. It’s such bullshit. Eddie shows that he loves Buck through his actions, which may be subtle in nature but are loud in meaning.

In fact, we have seen Buck display such emotional intelligence and understanding in season 5b when Maddie came back. He voiced his fears of being left behind when he and Maddie had a conversation about he always stays and she always leaves but he was also very empathetic to Maddie by consoling her about her fears of being a good mother. I don’t know if he knew the extent of what she went through but I definitely think that he knew that she wasn’t doing well mentally and needed to leave for a while to heal. Buck has the emotional intelligence to understand when someone is actually abandoning him and when someone has to leave for other reasons and fanon taking away that aspect of his character is such a shame because it really enriches his character.

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[two-entire-bits]

I have a confession. I do not care for the soc boys. I'm sure they have very interesting character traits and lore the actors and fandom have come up with and that is so fun and great and I know none of it and I am perfectly content with that. Shout out to all my mutuals who love the soc boys I hope you are having fun with your Ken dolls but I will not be joining you. keep slaying.

[kelocitta]

There is currently a rather large discussion ongoing about the RW fandom behavior, drama, etc. I am not going to talk about the specifics of whats happened for a number of reasons. But what I do want to say is that if at any point you've harassed people over it, whether that be through anon asks or public posts- you did nothing but damage the ability for people to correctly process what is happening. You contributed nothing but harm to an already delicate situation. It does not matter what "side" you were on and I will not tolerate further interaction with me or my work if I found out you did such. If you let your personal hate for anyone boil over into threats, wishes for long term harm and petty comments meant to contribute nothing but slander or mental distress for the individuals involved who were already distressed (or acting irrationally) you did nothing but make it harder for people to process their emotions, thoughts and behaviors constructively. Regardless of who you think was in the right, who fucked up, whatever. It doesn't matter if they deserved it, or earned it, or if its an eye for an eye. Its difficult enough as it is to think clearly when presented with any kind of stressful situation and heckling people does nothing but make it worse and harder for them to explain themself in any capacity. I don't want you anywhere near me if you think that is an acceptable way to act.

[helldritch6211]

If i re wrote red hood outlaws + arsenal n red would you want to see snippets of that or would you roast me on a pike?

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

tumblr kww fandom was formed seperately from most other social media corners of the fandom. and that leads to silly things like the commonly used name "kww collab" and kenfies vs kenifies. and probably more. cedar if theres any more im forgetting that u know of say them pls

(in response to this confession)

[i-mybrunettelady]

I am suffering from Needy Bitch Disease with a comorbidity of I Don't Want to Annoy People w/ OCs disorder

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

this is a tiny pet peeve but i think its kinda odd that people seem to like. forget, or maybe just neglect to take into account, that yellow, for whatever reason (whether he's an alt universe john or a fresh piece of this universe's KIY that kayne went and ripped off) has ALSO been trapped in the dark world prior to being with arthur and has exactly as many Feelings about it. this is a very load bearing character trait imo

[whollyjoly]

(temporary new pfp because HOW COULD I NOT)

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"

Like

I'm sorry

Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?

[theprincessandthepie]

ough. just watched some fanvids that got me thinking about an old fandom of mine.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

hi i would like to clarify that i am deeply uninterested in engaging with discourse drama about internet man dream, beyond what i say in this post. please stop sending me anonymous asks about it, thanks

[jorrated]

dungeon meshi feels like one of those type of media that was made for me, like i should love it. AND I DO LOVE IT but its too good for me to be insane about? if it makes sense?