#by the time this post blows gets any attention more trans girls will be giving other recs in the replies

[plaidos]

hey, TME people: cut the bullshit. you’re only allowed to post shit like “we love & support trans women on this blog” if you’re willing to actually do some transfeminist reading. general kindness & good vibes isn’t enough any more — you have to pay attention to our political struggles, you have to follow up that general kindness with actual honest to god theory. start with Whipping Girl by Julia Serano, which is the origin of the word “transmisogyny”

[trixeraptops]

My second ever commentary post how fun

This time it's Enola Holmes 2

This is a live reaction so there is no context, suffer.

Warnings for swearing and all capsAnyways let's hop in the carriage and travel back to Victorian(?) England.

Ooh letter burning for the logo fun

Ok I doubt any of this is true don't lie to me bitch

Why is she running away from the police?What did she do

I will say she looks good

Yeah you should explain and I do remember you

Oh yay she opened a detective agency

Awww she kept Dash how cute

But didn't she give it Sherlock in the end of the last movie?

She forgot how sexist and ageist her time period is lmao

Hah they all just want Sherlock221B!!!!!

Trying not to draw attention, blows up a mailbox

Tewksbury is champion for change and progress I love it

Girl you have time for a little distraction you fucking tsundere

Chrysanthe-mum

Oh her agency is already shut down

2who is it

Aw a little girl she's so. Cute I love her scarf

Ooh the cinematic shot

Enola looks so out of place lol

I hope this is pro Bono I don't think this girl has much

Enola don't look so put off, not everyone is rich as you

Ew rat

We weren't sisters in the usual way, love that

It soesnt mean anything to the Lil one but to Mae it clearly does

Aw this is so sweet

The game is afoot Jesus your finding a missing person not hunting one

Changed her name to Hilda

They're looking for disease at the entrance omg

Bruv you're gonna get yourself and bessie in trouble bruv

That was smart tho

Ooh torn pages that's sus

She stole the pages?

Oh that woman has such a soft voice it's so pretty but I can't hear her

Mae definetely knows somethingMae was involves in the theft o.o

Haha 'young lady I'm afraid I'm married'

Damn she's in a bar and it's fucking rowdy in here

Mae is a showgirl isn't she?

She is

That was a fun jaunty number

The missing worked with Mae as a showgirl

Jesus Mae

Lol fake knife

False bottom! I knew she was a top lmao

It's a sappy romance poem

She ran away to marry someone didnt she?Ooh drama

Dun dunbdun mysterious blurred fellow in the background

Ew he's following her

He hid but he's very loud what is cane made of metal?

Sherlock! He's drunk

Lol roasted

His bullshit tips are everything

Now sh I'm thinking you should write that down

You shouldn't get so drunk ehen you have no way home write that down

Wait is she gonna live with her brother or is this is a John reveal?

Jesus christ he's really fucking observant even when drunk and hungover

I don't need tour help! But I'm still taking the food you offered

Don't speak with a mouthful

Tewksbury!!!

Ooh she sits where he walks to work so they can run jnto each other.

She looks so upset after making a joke

That was so awkward lmao

Feel a need?

It's a coded poem! Open mouth

She's so excited

You didn't have to say you don't sew bruv we get it your not like other girls

I doubt this case will get media coverage

The doors open o.o

Suspecious...But not as sus as her for breaking into someone's house

Oh this shows a struggle and abandonment

MAE she's dead!

This case just got alot more interesting

Inspector!

It'd mr.clangy

Sarah is wanted oof

Oh he tried to be respectful but superintendent is a bitch

I hate this guy I'm calling him mr.clangy forever now

Lestrade is so fucking calm, your boss just got punched in the gut

Hah he doesn't remember you bruv

Just a friendly visit cause your sis is running away from the cops

I cant I can't, maybe I can

He's such a fangirl omg

Damn she roof hopping

Shit she almost fell, she gone die

Wait what the fuck

Enola Holmes is turning all the men in England trans lol

I wonder if the cases are related

Wait Moriarty maybe?

I'm a slut for BBC Sherlock so forgive all the speculation that's purely based on BBC Sherlock, I know they aren't related

He has this walk

Grail

Immediate recognition lmao

AH VIOLIN

Enola looks weirded out

You tell Sherlock! She made it bout herself, she wants media attention not to help

Haha callback

He just walks past them lmao

I think Poppy might be a chick but I could be wrong

A hat! Dun dun dunnn

A TAPER CROWN HAT I KNEWBTHEY WERE RELATED

It's not a date it's a place!

Williams for reds not a Poppy at all

I'm going to a ball yay! Ew

Smh Enola

I love her cloak

Her dress is so pretty

Why is the music so sus when they light the cake

Lol the chaperone

She keeps forgetting what her society is like

Bitch you live here how do you forget this shit

He's actually leading Sherlock in a dance lmao

Oh she gone get caught

Tabitha Timothy lol

Fan language!!! Oh thats so clever and cute!

But she doesn't know fan language hahaha she immediately messed up

Omg Tewkesbury

Of course he's doing something with plants

This is so weird and cute i love their little relationship

Haha I love her

You're a man when I say soShe's such a bitch

She's a natural at dancing or maybe just with Tewksbury

What does that mean lmao

Don't touch the ginger cake!

Wait dance cards are an actual thing lmao

ID the writing ON SIGHT

TSUNDERE

jealous bitch

Cicely seems nice, she complimented Enola even if she had an outdated dress

Dislocated and I'll scream, ICON

He knows Bessie!

Ooh a secret meeting how funBunch of random letters returns

ITS MORIARTY OMG OMG

I LOVE THIS

I hope their as gay as the BBC

Oh my lord JUST SAY ITS ABOUT YOUR CASE

Not the police barging in

She gave him her evidence! How sweet

Cecily is the only one who looks concerned for her everyone else is making fun of her

Keep silent Enola!

Shut up mr.clangy no one likes you

Oh no he's gonna kill Bessie isn't he :(

His job is to kill match girls who are needling out the corruption?

Sexist

Oooh mr.clangy stopped Sherlock from getting her

Oof

POLICEMAN IS HIDING HIS HAND

Those fingerprints are blurry at best

Ohmygod I was typing the last line then Sherlock kicked a fucking sign and scared a cat

It's the jujitsu woman!

It's ok you can say it

Ew I don't like how that guard looked at Enola

Wtf whyd they push her into the center?They're gonna hang her? Or beat her? What?

IS IT HER MOM?!

No its jujitsu lady

AND HER MOM

Prison break bitches

Her mom really likes bombs huh

Carriage chase carriage chase

Theure giving people typhus or something

He's gonna jump on isn't heNot anymore lol

Mr.clangy you bitch stop shooting st them

You go girl

Holy shit he just broke their wheel

I hope the horses are all right

Probably are they disappeared with the crash

Fuck off you bitch

I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THEM OMG

HOLY TRINITY INDEED

DAMN HE GOING FOR THE KILL

THE CARRIAGE IS A BOMB

Genius

Aw they changed her into new clothes how nice

Her mother is initiating boy talk

He ain't my Boi

I love that's she's acknowledging her part in Enola self isolating

She's encouraging her to get allies ♡

I love these women

She just winked? Why?

Get a haircut as your parting word lmao

I knew it

They're killing the match girls by giving them typhus through the MATCHES

FUCK YES

And Sarah figured it out

She and Mae were expirementing eith it

Genius

They tested flies, mice, plants

Extraordinary I love them

She went to Tewkesbury!!!

His flat is filled with flowers and plants ♡♡♡♡

I love him

Yay their allies

Jealous bitch

IS CECILY SARAH?!

Shut up you awkward bruv

SHE IS

I FIGURED IT OUT MOTHERFUCKER

To be fair they spelled it out

TEWKESBURY YOUR NOT EVEN COURTING AND YIU DAID ILY

She sent Ily to William too

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS

SHE HIT HIM

AAAHAHHHHHHH SHE RETUREND FEELINGS OMG OMG OMG

We live we laugh we love

Just tell em your a lord, I am, then they'll believe you omg

Sherlock!

The contempt in their voices I love this sibling dynamic

I knew they were connected I KNEW

Is that guy dead

He is

Mr.clangy

Moriarty is dead :(

Haha Tewkesbury

It's a set up!

Is Moriarty actually alive

He is

Ooh William thankyou for golding onto that

It's a letter isn't it

Nope map

Dora Dora Dora the explora

He can't fight lol

She's just beating him up until he pussies up and fights her

AH THEY KISSED

After she punched him multiple times lol

They're so cute

Secret treasure

SARAH!

She was wearing a wig this whole time damn

Uh oh they have to tell her he's dead

Aww poor Sarah ♡

Ew mr.clangy

BESSIE NO

YOU GO BESSIE BITE HIS ASS

SHERLOCK NO

Tewksbury is getting fucked up

Ooh but he's got a sword now

Fuck off clangy

Did Sherlock just kill someone?

How many bullets has he got? It's a small gun can't be too many

HAHA HE RAN OUT FUCK YOU CLANGY

ENOLA NO

Retractable knife for the win!

Ah shit she got knicked in the head real bad

Yes Tewkesbury fuck him up and get your girl

Shit clangy is dead Enola full ass killed him

Now that murder charge is valid

Sherlock you dramatic bitch

THE SOFT VOIXE WOMEN IS MORIARTY

WHAT A TWIST

I LOVE THIS

Go off queen! Tell him, dick him down verbally

Society creates yet another villain

For now at least, love thatOh no is the bad guy gonna win?

He paper burning is beautiful though

But the movie isn't over yet

Revolution!

Shut up boss man

Sometimes an inspiring speech doesn't work

At least not right away

Yiu go Bessie I love you girl

This is amazing I love this

I think this music was at the end of the other movie too

She runs her agency out of the fighting place now :)

Holmes and Holmes ♡♡♡♡

But I glad she refused

The running write that down gag ♡

They're gonna meet with jne another ♡

Ah they're so cute

MORIARTY ESCAPED O.O

I love them so much

Ohhhh the true part was Match Girl Strike that makes more sense

I thought I heard of match girls before

ENILA GOT HIM A FLATMAYE LMAO

IS THIS JOHN

IT IS OMG OMG OMG

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

♡♡♡♡/5 I loved this movie

[autismisaokay]

As a fair warning this post is a time where I break my NSFW rule because it has to do about my body and health. So as a warning I will be talking about some heavy stuff.

I wasn’t sure when there was going to be a good time to really bring this up. A while back I brought up that I was doing research on trans man. Lately I’ve also been reblogging some trans support and resources. I just got a question asking if I was trans and the answer is, yes I’m a man. More specifically I’m a trans man.

Honestly this whole process has been just that a process and it’s no where near from being done. I’ve been terrified to bring this up for multiple reasons that I can’t even list all here. I was going to wait until I was on T before I started to really choose. However my insurance won’t pay for my HRT until I have a psych eval and I’ve been living as a man (again without T) for 12 months. An people have really started to pick it up irl and it was only a matter of time until people started to figure it out here.

This hasn’t been fun for me and I had to come out twice in the span of three days to my mother. Who says she will not respect my pronouns or my name until I’ve gotten them legally changed and gotten the psych eval. (The fact I also need to do a psych eval in the first place is really degrading to me) She also told me that since I never played with trucks as a kid or didn’t show signs to her that I can’t be trans. She would have accepted me if I had shown the signs early on and she knows trans people and I can’t be one. I tried telling her I was scared and I hid it. She also told me that my grandmother knows and my grandmother asks that I, “Please wait until she dies.” To transition or else this will be the thing that kills her and she doesn’t have long left anyway. My grandmother was my first best friend in the world and I thought would be until the day she died and the family member I was closest to. I’ve also been told by my mother that I’m being selfish and that the rest of my family wouldn’t accept this. Which I told her I understood.

My mom thinks I’m doing this for attention, I got caught up in one of my “phases”, and because it’s a “internet trend.” When I told her this is who I am she said that, “this is who I am” is the buzzword for the trans internet right now and to try again and give her another reason other than that. She also believes being trans is a trend right now. Which is another reason why I was scared to come out here. I know a lot of people are transitioning here and I was horrified of looking like I was doing this for attention or trying to take attention away.

She wants me to go to my endo appointment and an eval and she says she’ll only accept this unless they do because “she has to” at that point. She doesn’t want to do any of this and in order for me to get any respect I have to hold her hand. I understand she’s grieving a child but I feel like my whole family just died and she kinda confirmed they did, metaphorically.

This is my coming out letter I wrote that I got to read the second time I came out that I couldn’t read to her the first time. I think it will help explain what I’ve been going through.

“I’ve been receiving a variety of questions on my appearance and mental health from multiple people. “Why did you change things up?” Or, “What’s been going on with me?” Lately I have had a lot of time to consider seriously what I’ve wanted out of life as well as my identity as a whole. What could make and, in many ways, would make me the happiest. To put it bluntly, I figured out I’m a man. I ask that you please save all questions or comments until the end of what I have said, thank you.

There was this over looming anxiety I couldn’t quite put together throughout the process of figuring this out. There was this “entity” we will call it, I had always put to the side or hid for years. Because in the end I didn’t even really have a discernible answer for it. And if I could keep pushing this to the side, it must not be that big of a deal or even affect me that badly. I would always find, or was, in some sort of distraction to keep from digging any deeper into my identity then I was ready for.

When I discovered I’m autistic for the first time for a while it seemed to solve many of my questions, and I was able to put things to bed for a while. Until those self-reflective questions, feelings, and thoughts on who I am woke up in a panicked scream again a couple of years later. Yet I still tried metaphorically placing a pillow over its head to try and force it all “back to bed.” I repeated this cycle again and again, and each time events in my life would cause those questions and feelings to resurface. Becoming worse and worse each time, until I finally had to sit down and face this.

What are these questions though you are probably asking yourself at this point? They are as follows in no order that I’ve asked myself throughout my life, and yes some even in childhood. Why have I always been so self-conscious about my image? Why did my body feel so disgusting and wrong other than inability to love myself? Why did I feel like I had too much of some parts and too little of others? Why was I angry that my voice would not get any deeper? Why did I imagine myself wearing suits but was too scared to do and say so and pushed it aside? Why did the way I pee not feel right? Why when I drew myself as a boy growing up did it feel so good but so bad enough to hide it? Why did I secretly go on boy’s puberty sites as a teenager and feel like it was a game of connecting the dots when anything matched with the boys? Why were the dreams I had as a boy feel so natural?

It all came to one answer, I am a man.

To be honest, I didn’t understand any of this fully or was able to come to terms with this up until the end of March of this year. I had always been trying to do the best with what I was given, in fact I wanted to. Somethings that are perceived as “girly” by certain people I even enjoy which made things doubly confusing.  I thought I was just over blowing things and that for a while being autistic seemed to explain many things, but not everything. Or that I had penis envy, or I didn’t think highly enough of girls and that made me bad. More than anything I was afraid to come to these realizations in fear of what people would think or what would happen. Or that it would be dismissed away, which really scared me. To figure out something as immense as this and not be able to maybe finally be more comfortable and know myself better. That terrified me.

Due to the misunderstandings of trans individuals I feared I would be thought of as a pervert. I even came to think that I was one for being this way. I feared being thought of as incompetent to decide this for myself due to being autistic. A pulsating fiery raging scream stayed buried deep in the pit of my stomach from these thoughts.I started to experiment, to be more certain of coming to terms with this.

I did research and made things like a starter packer. Which are socks bunched together to make a bulge shape like a penis and testes to wear. This gave me enough euphoria to know I wanted more. So, I bought myself a packer (a silicone prosthetic) and something called a STP (Stand To Pee device).  Which gave me so much euphoria I cried the first time I used my STP because it felt so right. At that time, I was speaking with Julia (therapist) to help sort me through this journey since around late March early April. I went on to buy men’s pants and undergarments and cut off all my hair and bought a binder. (Safely compresses my breasts) In addition, I also chose my name and came out to some friends who accepted me and used my correct pronouns. With Julia’s aid she also advised me the biggest thing I could do right now is speak with the community. So, I did and since then I’ve found an online support group and a local support group that I’ve been going to meetings for. It’s helped me place myself and instead of feeling like I didn’t belong I felt like things made more sense in many regards.

I still have many other fears and adversities I will continue to face while living as my true self. One of the things that has really challenged me is that I feel like my words do not have any bearing anymore advocating for autistic people who identify as girls. Now that I’m coming out as a man. As much as I know I’m a man I feel like I’m a bad person for identifying this way since there’s so much stuff out there saying that men are toxic, trash, and unfeeling. And I’m trying to learn how to best be a good and responsible man in this world.

The real me has always been out there and I’d like to be able to live my life the way I was meant to. As a man and on my way to medically transitioning. I am saying all of this because I care, and I want to be able to finally get this out of my system and help elevate this confusion to the best of my ability.

My name is Ren Jason P***, I’m your son, big brother, grandson, friend, colleague, classmate, autistic advocate, and fellow human being. Please don’t turn away the little boy and man, who shouldn’t be dictated by a body he didn’t ask for. 

As Princess BubbleGum says:

“People get built different.”

“We don’t need to figure it out. We just need to respect it.” “

[tvmblrdothailey]

Bnha x trans woman reader

A/N: I decided to write an x reader where the reader is a trans woman. To any trans woman reading this I just want you to know thAT I FŪCKING LOVE YOU💙💖🤍💖💙🥰😘🥰😘🥰😘 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I WILL LITERALLY FIGHT ANYONE WHO HURTS YOU.

Warning: Cursing, Transphobia, mentions of Sex Reassignment Surgery, Gender Dysphoria. Karen

(Y/N): Your name

(D/N): Your dead name

Summary: It took a while for your parents to accept you for who you are, you just hoped your classmates and teachers would accept you as well.

- Before the first day, you had recieved your school uniform, but it turned out to be a mens uniform. To which you had to “politely” ask them to send you the correct uniform.

- Once you made it to class you were immediently introduced to a green haired male who you’d later find out was named Izuku. Then you met Uraraka, Iida, Asui, etc.

- Eveything was going well until your teacher showed up and immediently had you all sent to change into P.E uniforms.

- It wasn’t the uniform that was the problem, it was the fact that none of them knew you were trans and had to share a changing room with other woman. And even though they seemed friendly at first, you still were unsure how’d they react.

- In the past you had to learn the hard way that a smile can really hide someones true colors and that not all people are willing to accept you for who you are and not what you are.

- It’s worth noting that you havent had Sex Reassignment Surgery yet, because you couldnt afford it. (You did take medication though)

- And even though you were generally confident about your Gender, you still had your moments where you started to doubt yourself abd even questioned if you were a real woman (WHICH YOU FRICKING ARE OKAY!!! 😤💙🤍💖)

- Once you were in the womans lockerroom, you tried your best to find a place where you could change without any of them seeing you. So far it was going good until Uraraka came looking for you. She blushed and in a panic you told her you were a trans woman.

- You froze for a few seconds before hearing Uraraka’s voice “Oh...okay, well just so you know, I think you’re a very beautiful woman!” My god you had to hold back from giving Uraraka a hug right then and there.

- Later down the line you had come out to the rest of the girls as a Trans woman, to which they all responded with hugs and affection.

- “We don’t care if you’re trans, you’re still the same (Y/N) we know and love.” -Hagakure

- “It doesnt matter whats in your pants, if you identify as a woman, then you’re a woman.” - Jirou

- “I am literally pink, and you think I’d judge you because of your gender? Hell nah, get over here and let me love you!” - Mina

- “If anyone tells you otherwise you come to me and I will have a “friendly” chat with them.” -Momo

- “Ribbit, You’ll always be our friend (Y/N), no matter what.” -Tsu

- They would die for you

- With the help of the other girls, you eventually came out to Aizawa, and he promised that you would be treated the same just as any other student. And if anyone gives you any problems you bring it to him for him to deal with. (Protective dad tm)

- Eventually the entire class knew and you felt the biggest weight fall of your shoulders.

- “It does’nt matter, you’re still (L/N) (Y/N). And we all care about you. 💚” -Izuku

- “I don’t give a damn about your gender! So stop it with that self-concious shit.” -Bakugo. Although his words may seem harsh, he really cares about you and is willing to blow up any wall, building or mountain to chase away any Dysphoria you may have.

- You had to exaplain it a couple of times for Todoroki since he was never educated about that kind of stuff, but once he got it he immediently replied “I didn’t know people could do that. Thank you for telling me, and I’ll do everything I can to support you.” 🤍❤️

- Of cource there were going to be some students who felt the need to belittle you...

- One time in the Caffiteria, Monoma had walked up to your table and desided that today would be the day he would be the biggest dick in the world

- “It’s shocking how people say Class 1A is one of the hardest courses to get into, yet they let someone like you in.” He said

- You looked at him “Excuse me?”

- “I’m just saying when you think about it scientifically, you’re still a man no m- “ Monoma didn’t get to finish his sentence before Kendo slapped him, knocking him out cold.

- “Hey, sorry about him (Y/N). I knew he was low but I didn’t think he was that low.” She then smiled at you “Don’t listen to him, he’s just desperate to finding ways to make his class seem better because of some imaginary rivalry that’s only exist in his head. Anyway, I need to take him to Recovery girl to get his brains checked, but I’ll see you later!”

- Kendo was the best, and she made sure that Monoma got a stern lecture from Vlad later that day.

- Then there was the Mall incident, when the class was going on a trip to the mall to buy supplies for Summer training camp, but then you ran into an Ex friend.

- Emphasis on the word EX

- “(D/N)?” They said. To which you froze, you recgonized that voice anywhere and you could already tell that this conversation wasn’t going to be friendly.

- You slowly turned around “Hey Karen...” She didnt look that diffrent, fake nails, fake jewlery, fake personality...what?

- “Why are you dressed like a woman?” She said.

- You groaned before responding “Because I am a woman, Karen.” You tried to walk away from her in order to avoid confrontation, the last thing you needed were hundreds of eyes on you. You made a note to yourself to come back tommorow when you would’nt have to deal with her. But you’re taken out of your thoughts as you feel someone grab your shoulder and spin you around.

- “Do you think it’s funny? To make fun of mental illness?” She said.

- There was a point in time when Karens words didnt offend you anymore, they just frustrated you because of how dumb and ignorant she sounded.

- “Karen, I have told you multiple times that I am a woman, I am not mentally ill, I am human. I get that it might be confusing for you but it’s not for me. I am happy the way I am okay?”

- “You’re the one that’s confused. You think you’re a girl but you’re a boy no matter what? That’s just how the human body works.” She shot back. At this point multiple eyes were already on you two. Some looked uncomftorable, others look confused and then there were a few that looked disgusted. Just a few people had the power to send Dysphoria crawling back into your mind.

- You started to hear fast footsteps before hearing “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU BOOTLEG BARBIE BITCH?!”

- Oh hey bakugo (we’re gonna pretend him, Kiri and Shoto came along aight)

- “Bakugo, It is unacceptable to call a woman by such a deragatory term! Even though she was being rude to (Y/N) there are better ways to-“ Iida was cut off by Bakugo

- “SHUT THE HELL UP FOUR EYES!” Kiri then had to hold bakugo back while Todoroki and Uraraka steped in between you and Karen.

- “Don’t ever talk to our friend like that, she is more of a woman than you’ll ever be. I’d suggest that you walk away right now, our friend can only hold back Bakugo for so long.” Todoroki said

- Uraraka helped calm your nerves and whispered to you “Don’t listen to her, she’s just jealous because you can wear a dress better than her.”

- AIGHT, now the training camp.

- During the training camp, Tiger had not only helped you get stronger, but also helped scare away any Gender Dysphoria that remained inside your head.

- “Don’t ever let peoples harsh words get to you! You are doing this for yourself and that’s what matters!” He said

- When it was time to take a bath, you didn’t hesitate to get into the hot springs. The encouraging words Tiger gave you along with the constant support of your friends had made you feel safe and happy. You could’nt ask for better friends.

Bonus:

* IF YOU DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY THEN YOU CAN IGNORE THIS PART

- One moment that stuck out was when momo dropped the question “Hey (Y/N), you dont have to awnser this but I was wondering, why have’nt you gone through Sex Reassignment Surgery? Are you not comftorble with it or...?”

- “Oh, I just dont have the money for it.” You responded

-Way way later on.

- your birthday was finally around the corner

- On the big day you woke up to your friends Uraraka and Midoriya at your door and they dragged you to the main room where the rest of the class along with Mr. Aizawa were.

- You noticed a large envelope on the coffe table and they looked at you before Hagakure urged you to open it.

- When you did you found two gifts, one was a shirt

- And the other was a smaller envelope with the words Class 1A written on the back. You opened the envelope and pulled out a card and opened it to which a small keychain fell out that said “trans woman are real woman” and if that wasn’t wholesome enough...

- You looked inside the card but before you could begin reading Aizawa interupted and asked you to read it outloud.

- “Dear (Y/N), words can not describe how wonderful you are, how brave, how strong, or how amazing of a person and classmate you are. We all love you! When you came out to us as a transwoman, we all immediently wanted to make sure you knew you were valid and loved. It’s come to our attention that you haven’t had sex reassignment surgery because you are unable to afford it. So we banded together and decided we would help pay for your surgery-“ you couldn’t finish as you were allready in tears and you looked at Aizawa and the rest of the class to confirm that they were not messing with you.

- “I’ve already talked with your parents all you have to do is set up an appointment and all that fun stuff.” Aizawa said.

- Your tears turned into water falls and your classmates all went to give you hugs and affection. You thanked each of them through your tears of joy and hiccups.

- Definitely a Birthday that would be remembered.

TUMBLR DESITED TO DELETE 65% OF THIS POST THAT I POURED MY HEART AND SOUL INTO 😭

[lovelybrittxo]

where do I even start?

I’m literally only writing this for myself since typing a whole novel out on the computer is way easier than writing this in a physical journal which is what I normally do. I come to Tumblr though when I have way too much to say and don't know how to say it. I just need to get it off my chest before I blow up. so here it goes...

shall we start at the beginning? I grew up in a decently religious household. my mom, sister and I went to church almost every Sunday with all our aunts and uncles. don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and whatnot and I wouldn't change my upbringing in the church for anything. but it may have suppressed my views on the world. something my aunt said to me a few years ago has stuck to brain ever since and I can't seem to shake it. she told me that she actually believes that being gay is a sin and that you can love the sinner but not the sin. so like, she believes if you're gay, you can be gay but don't act upon it/the sin. she believes, for example, that being trans is a mental illness. like, I just can't wrap my head around that. and honestly, she spoke with so much conviction and “sense” that she actually had me fooled to think the same way for a hot second. and then to learn that my other “cool” aunt also believes this... kinda sad. both of those aunts have literally talked down upon family (and our family is very tight knit) and people they love... what would they do if they ever found out about me?

ive felt a lot of feelings ever since I was young. mostly towards males... but also towards females. I just thought the female part was me wanting to be like them or be their friend and just have them like me and accept me as a chill person to be around. but fast forward to a couple years ago. I was bombarded (in a good way) by social media flaunting (in a good way lol) different sexualities and things. its hard to describe but that “world” was just becoming more prominent to me I guess.

I started to try and put my religious upbringing in the background so I could focus on trying to figure out who I really was. ive been doing this for at least a couple years now. and although im still trying to really figure it out, right now half way through 2020, I think im getting closer to an answer. and guess what has helped me the most? tiktok lmao! no but for real, the internet is an amazing place for discovery in any form. after I started to get into real communities online (like kpop and penpaling) i’ve never felt more connected to the internet and it allowed me to try and find real personal help... if that makes any sense. i’ve just tried to put myself out there and not just google my feelings but piece together a map from asking real people over the Internet here and there to try and figure out who I am.

sometime last year (or maybe earlier) I found a YouTube video of a popular creator retelling her coming out story. I just randomly commented on the video about how I had been feeling, not to get a reply but just to comment. but then I actually got a real reply (not from the creator but still a nice person). they said something along the lines of me basically being bicurious. I had never in my life heard of such a word and I had thought that this person was just making it up. one google search later I found out it was a real thing. although at the time of first looking it up I was still very confused about the word... still kinda am? lol. however, just a couple weeks ago I had seen a post somewhere (an ad I think selling pride flags) saying there was an official bicurious flag. I was in shock. I thought it was a scam, but its not, it’s real (I just don't think it’s talked about very often cause it doesn't seem like a solid sexuality that you can claim your entire life). but anyway.

now what i’m gonna say next I don't want to come off in the wrong way (you nonexistent person reading this lol), but I feel like dating a trans person brought me into that “world” a bit more. like, i had literally never met anyone who was trans before him or anyone who was gay or used a they/them pronoun... never. but in his world, all of that was common and normal. and this is where I don't want to come off wrongly... I don't wanna make it seem like because I dated a trans person i’m qualified to be included in the LGBT community now or to talk about LGBT stuff or whatever. I just think because I dated him, it opened up my shallow world a bit. especially because he’s open about it (on a side note I always loved looking at his huge trans flag above his bed. that was the first flag I had really ever memorized because of him. besides the rainbow one obviously lol). like, his best friend uses they/them pronouns, and although i’ve always been aware of that, i’ve only ever seen things about it through YouTube videos and whatnot. I had never had to actually use those pronouns for anyone I knew in real life until I met his best friend. like, everything I knew about that “world” had only been through online researching/consuming. i’d never experienced it in real life before.

I remember one night we talked about it a little. I knew he was bisexual and so I asked him if he’d ever dated a guy. he asked me if I would ever date a girl and i just said that I had always thought about it and that my tinder profile was set to find both genders. then we talked about pride since it was at the beginning of quarantine and we didn't know if parades were still gonna happen or not yet. he said I could always go as an ally because I told him I felt ashamed and like I shouldn't be allowed to attend a pride parade. (of course he reassured me I can go and he wasn't shocked about me liking both genders at all...he just said ‘nice’ lol)

I still have a little inkling in the back of my mind that I still shouldn't be able to attend though. honestly because I don't know what I would be attending as. I feel like an imposter. I don't want people thinking that im doing all this for attention or just because I dated one person in the LGBT community. i’ve been struggling with this for so long... but it just so happens that now at 27 years old im coming to terms with who I am. I just feel like because I didn't figure it out earlier that I’m not “worthy” of being included. I feel like such an outsider because no one’s “invited” me in yet lol because im still trying to figure it out.

and on the same note, I don't feel like i’m worthy because I still really don't have a solid answer. at the moment I just use bicurious because ive never dated a girl before. the trans guy ive been talking about has been the only person i’ve ever been romantically involved with. im serious. I made it 26 years without being with anyone in any type of way. I feel like I don't have the right to call myself bisexual. however, I feel a tiny bit more confident in using that label maybe after I do end up dating a girl in the future and not feel guilty about using it because that same guy calls himself bisexual but told me right out one day that he’s way more attracted to girls than guys and im in the same situation but opposite. the only difference at this point in time is that he’s dated both and I haven't. but thennnn on the other hand, do I even need to label myself at all right now??

even if I did wanna come out, I don't wanna do it until I really have a solid answer about my identity. i just feel like such a fraud or something because im trying to figure it out so late. and like, im going so over the top with my support this year because I feel like I should fit in and maybe im trying too hard? again, I just don't want people thinking its because I dated one trans guy and all of a sudden im huge into the LGBT community. it’s not like that. all of this is just helping me bring out my true self. ugh this is the part where it gets confusing to put into words. i’m aware and I have pure intentions. im just trying to figure out myself after a long time of trying to figure out myself lol

some days the research is overwhelming. there's so many facts and opinions and different people’s stories and labels. as crazy as it sounds I just want someone who’s been gay their whole life to come up and tell me “yup, your bisexual no doubt” lol or something like that. I guess I just want to be validated in my exploration. and i’ve seen random tiktok comments saying stuff like that, that validates me, but the difference is that their comments aren’t directed specifically to me. they don't know me personally. it’s hard to have a random social media comment resonate with me. honestly, and this may sound selfish and not right, but when I was talking to the guy I was seeing, I almost wish he just told me straight out what I was that day. but instead he said I could go to Pride as an ally. and that was probably just him being respectful and not forcing me to be anything, but it almost had the opposite effect on me. by saying I was an ally it felt like he was giving me that permanent label even after telling him I like guys and girls.... ya know?

something recently happened to me that really stuck with me and I was so happy. I have a penpal who is very southern Texas raised religious. she knows the Bible better than I do. I had posted a Pride doodle I did on my Instagram at the beginning of this month and she was the only one who personally responded with an encouraging and supportive dm. if she can support whole heartedly the LGBT community and still love God, then why can't I?? and that's when I trulyyyy knew that I was right and my aunt’s were wrong and I wasn't going insane lol

I wanted to buy a bicurious or pride flag recently. but then was torn when I saw the ally flag (which I also didn't know existed until recently) and the bisexual flag. I know they're just flags but it feels so solid?? like you buy one when you know what you are.... and I don't yet. so I ended up not buying one at all :/

again, there was no purpose to this post because I know no one is going to read it but I just had to type it out into the world so I didn't have to bottle it up anymore.

[sadistcatgirl]

i’m having kind of a bad time. it’s a bunch of little things, i think. just a deep sense of dissatisfaction about everything i’m doing. i’m not cutting this post, deal with it.

i recently had a kinda shitty fallout with somebody i considered a pretty decent friend. i’m not completely blameless, and some of the things they said to me had traction, but the majority of it was a gross mischaracterization of me based on their perception of my intent behind doing certain things. but they never talked to me about it, never asked why i was doing those things, never told me that the things i was doing was upsetting to them until it was already too late and they were blowing up at me about it. i know this friend is in a bad mental health place, and i think a new person in their life is trying to isolate them from their old friends and social groups, but there’s only so much i can... do... about that. that might explain some of why they’re acting erratically. mostly i’m worried about my friend, worried they’re gonna do something dumb, but unable to extend the emotional effort to work through this in a real way. that leaves me feeling shitty.

talon and i have been working through some ideas on what she wants to do re: transitioning, and im not gonna go into any of that because its her business, but all of this talking about actions she does and doesn’t wanna take is making me feel some kind of way about my own inertia regarding my gender shit. i keep circling around it and it’s getting harder and harder not to admit that i’d probably be a lot happier as a trans guy, but i’m unable to make myself do any of the steps involved in getting there. i’m afraid of changing my body. it’s the only one i’ve ever had, and it’s always been like this. it’s easy to make grooming and wardrobe choices that get rid of gendered things that i was doing for gendered reasons as opposed to because i like them, but. i think i’d be a happier person if i took it further than that. i’ve never really given a lot of thought to actually doing that, because being the way i am now doesn’t make me feel bad. i have very little gender dysphoria, and the little that i do have is, like. it’s kinda background. it’s easily pushed aside. my tits are small. being soft feels pretty alright. but it’s like... it’s a neutral feeling only slightly bordering on positive, and i think i could feel a lot better if my body was a lot different. i’d rather feel good than neutral, even if feeling neutral isn’t harming me at all, you know? but god, that’s scary!! what if i’m not nearly as cute as a guy as i am as a person who passes as a girl?? i’m... i’m decently cute as a girl. i know this, even if i don’t really like being a girl. but what if i’m just a fucking ugly weird lookin dude? what if taking testosterone reacts negatively with my chronic illnesses? what if it gives me a worse eating disorder than i already have? would i ever even be able to achieve the kind of body i want? i don’t think i realistically can, and that’s always been the thing that stops me. i don’t super care about not having a dick or whatever, but i could never have the kind of build that i want. not with my anxiety and my chronic illnesses and my health troubles and all that bullshit. i can’t work out. i can’t build muscle. i don’t know where this line of thought is going, exactly, except that i’m just. i’m just not happy.

i’m frustrated by my job situation because my attention span keeps being shit and i cant force myself to focus for more than like 3-4 hours in an 8 hour workday, which means my productivity lags waaay behind my colleagues, and they know it. nobody that i work with likes me, they’re absolutely neutral on me at best and at worst some of them think i’m a lazy piece of shit because they see me being out here having a disability accommodation and probably undiagnosed adult adhd and just not performing at the level that they are, and they make their own assumptions as to why this is happening. some lady said something shitty to me about it earlier this year. i only barely skated in under the production quota for the year, which is on my mind because i just finished my performance self-appraisal.

talon just got a job and since she’s doing that for nine hours a day, i don’t get to see her nearly as much, and when we do see each other in the evenings we’re both too tired from work to really do much aside from sit together in silence doing our respective wind-down shit. i hate that. i like having a second income, and i know it makes her feel good to be holding something down, but ugh. i hate this.

i’m not satisfied with the pace of any of my roleplay stories, but i don’t wanna be a nagging or annoying roleplay partner, because god fucking knows i’ve had times when i needed other people to be patient with me. so i’ve been sitting on my hands and not harassing my partners too often, but i’m like. i’m all lit up like fucking christmas, and waiting is agony. it’s bursting to get out of me!! i just wanna get the words out!! i don’t know how to talk about that with them in a way that comes off how i want it to and not needy. or i guess i technically know how, i know exactly how to be like “hey could you just sorta give me a heads up on it if you can’t rp today? not rushing you, i just wanna know so i’m not waiting around for it.” but i don’t have the brainspace to make the diplomatic words go right now, not with all this other shit on me. so i don’t say anything because that feels better than trying and saying it wrong.

anyway i stopped in the middle of writing a roleplay post to write this post instead because i just started crying for no reason in my living room at 3am, lol. i know that sounds alarming, but i’m a really stable person who doesn’t do dumb shit. i’m just dealing with a lot of small buckets of water right now and collectively they’re too heavy to deal with so i gotta dump something. what else are blogs for, i guess.

[entamewitchlulu]

Arc V Anniversary Discussion Day 15: Headcanons

brooooooooooo this could be a longass post lemme tell you, I’m barely even sure where I should start.  I mean, most of my headcanons I’ve already talked about at length, esp my big ones like trans boy Yuya, so I think I’ll hold off on sharing the sexuality/gender headcanons today.

Instead, I think I’m gonna talk about something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while: my headcanons for what kind of spiritual and magical abilities that the Arc V cast has.

under the cut cause this is long

Yuya

This is already confirmed by canon so it’s not quite a headcanon, but Yuya can hear Duel Spirits.  He doesn’t necessarily hear words, but he gets impressions of their emotions and desires. As a child he misinterpreted this as his imagination, or projecting his own feelings onto them, but post-series he realizes that he truly was hearing them.  With his powers boosted by becoming whole with his counterparts once again, he redevelops the ability to understand and speak Duel Spirit languages.

Yuya also has a unique and rare ability from my interpretation of the Yu-Gi-Oh universe known as Enflaming. Simply by interacting with people, or indeed even just being around them, he agitates other souls into manifesting latent abilities, so people who had the potential for magical, soul-based abilities but never manifested them start to develop them after having come into contact with Yuya.

Yuto

Yuto had the underdeveloped ability to see Duel Spirits outside of a duel; nothing too solid, but he could catch little glimpses and impressions of them, as well as sense the pressure they gave out.  He was actually under the impression that he was seeing ghosts for a very long time.  Once he becomes one with Yuya, they all are able to see Duel Spirits clearly.

Like Yuya, Yuto can also hear Duel Spirits, but he can really only get the impression of emotion from Dark Rebellion.

Yugo

While Clear Wing is the one guiding him, the dimension hopping abilities that Yugo uses are actually inherent to him, himself, with Clear Wing just giving him a boost.

Yuuri

Yuuri had similar abilities to hear and sense monster emotions like Yuya, but due to a series of childhood incidents involving experimentation on his brain by both Roger and the Doctor, the barriers between himself and his monsters grew incredible thin and fragile.  Their own emotions frequently leak into his brain and he and they often have trouble distinguishing themselves as separate beings.  This is particularly evident with Starving Venom, as the two of them often seem very confused as to where one of them ends and the other begins, their emotions constantly backfeeding into each other until they lose a lot of their separate identities, especially when tensions are high or when Yuuri is very excited.  Once assimilated with Yuya, Yuuri finds himself much more separate from Starving Venom and is able to consider himself as an individual being (albeit one assimilated with three others), which accounts for him being much more calmed down during the last arc.

Yuzu

Yuzu, and in fact all of the bracelet girls, have a watered down echo of Ray’s empathic abilities.  Yuzu’s variety makes her slightly more attuned to the sense when something bad is about to happen, giving her a sense of uncertain ominousness before something occurs, but without direction for what exactly that is.

Yuzu also is the incarnation that absorbed the excess energy from the En Flowers, so not only does she cause the Yuuboys to separate when they come near each other, but she also has a boost to her empathetic powers when in the presence of uncut flowers.  She’s essentially gathering the echoed memories and intuition of the flowers subconsciously, which makes her more alert and aware to whatever is going to happen.  As she is rarely, if ever in a flowered location in Arc V, it’s not until post-series that she deduces this.

Ruri

Ruri’s variety of Ray’s psychic powers is a slighter version of empathy.  She’s more in tune with other people’s emotions, and if there’s enough high emotions happening around her, she can find herself more affected because she senses them as though they were her own emotions subconsciously.  This is very much why she clings to Smile Dueling so much, because in the wake of the invasion, the negative emotions constantly surrounding her overwhelm her.  She’s not aware of her abilities and thinks this is normal.  Once she assimilates with Yuzu, Yuzu and she both gain a much more refined emotional empathy that they learn to minimize when they need to focus.

As the incarnation that absorbed the excess energy from En Birds, as well, Ruri is very much in tune with actual living birds, and the birds themselves seem to remember her as Ray and often come to her without prompting or fear.  She can’t understand them, but she can get faint impressions of emotion from them.

Rin

Rin’s inheritance from Ray takes the form of a personal intuition, giving her little flashes of insight about when she needs to quickly duck behind a corner to hide from a surprise Security officer, or the nagging sense that someone is following her.

Her En Winds power also gives her a slight psychic vision when the wind blows.  It’s a bit like echolocation, giving her a slight impression of what things are shaped like in a twenty foot radius if there is wind blowing around them.

Selena

Selena’s psychic/empathic powers are actually far more stunted than the other girls, as Leo occasionally implemented ways to reduce her abilities since he believed it was Ray’s empathic powers that caused her to think she could face Zarc in the first place, and he wanted to make sure once he had her back, she wouldn’t do anything like that again.  Selena does still have the remnants of Ray’s monster empathy, though, able to sort of sense Duel Spirits’ emotions (but at a far lesser intensity than the boys can).

As the receptacle for En Moon, Selena actually does get more energy during a full moon, and gets more tired during a new moon.  As people often joke about kids getting more hyper during full moons, Selena doesn’t realize that she’s actually channeling energy from the moon.

Shun

Shun actually has a bit of Duel Spirit ancestry from way back in his bloodline, which while it doesn’t grant him as many powers as it would if he were half or quarter duel spirit, gives him a more honed sense of intuition, especially about others’ intent. This is why despite his misgivings, he ended up trusting Yuya and was able to slightly hear Yuto talking to him from within Yuya, as well as why he was very much honed in on Dennis as a potential traitor.

Tsukikage

Tsukikage also has a bit of Duel Spirit ancestry, which while he’s definitely an able warrior without it, accounts for some of his more superhuman abilities, like jumping off a moving bike and running just as fast as it to get an Action Card.

Reira

mostly confirmed by canon anyway, but Reira is an empath, and an incredibly powerful one.  They can feel people’s emotions even through a camera feed, even if the person is miles away in actuality, and if they know who they’re looking for, they can hone in on a person’s emotions and location from up to a mile away.

Dennis

Dennis has what one would call very minor suggestion abilities.  Not that he’s not already pretty good at what he does, but come on, this kid telegraphs himself pretty hard in-show, and barely anyone calls him out on it.  He doesn’t even know that he’s doing it, but especially when he does his card tricks and performances, he’s layering them with a very thin layer of persuasive magic that attracts attention and makes people slightly more inclined to give him their attention.  People already inclined to trust him will also be more willing to trust what he has to say.

Gongenzaka

Gongenzaka doesn’t have any flash abilities, but what he does have is a rare magic immunity.  This makes him impervious to any sort of suggestion magic, illusions, curses, etc, but it also means he can’t be affected with beneficial abilities, either.

they’re the only ones off the top of my head that i’ve developed ideas for, but i’m sure i’ll get more later, lol.  I might have some fics planned

[strengthrequireskindness]

Aaaaa I wanna write a Batfam fanfic but my brain is fried

So I'm gonna post a Drabble here and see the response it gets

@this-canadian-girl and @desolationofzara this one's for you! Thanks for your help!

---

Najida sighed. Like every day before, her mother's eyes were unfocused, staring off into space. Sliding onto the bed, she leaned forward, waving a hand in front of her face. Nothing.

She didn't know why she kept hoping for a miracle. She should know by now that Gotham didn't deal in miracles. All it gave was hurt.

The doctors at Leslie Thompkins' clinic had been very clear when they said Tien Tran would never regain her memory, or even her ability to walk. The injuries to her head and spine were too severe. The once-proud Arkham guard, on a fast track to promotion, now couldn't even remember that she had a daughter. All Najida was to her was a stranger who, for some reason, was assigned to look after her.

Sure, it hurt a lot. So did knowing that she had to take care of her mother instead of getting the education she so desperately wanted. Her father had helped at first, taking a high-risk job at a new biomedical company. Apparently, high-risk involved finding your father's body in a pool of blood and a nightmare creature standing over it....

She shook her head, adjusting her hijab so it wouldn't fall in her face. There wasn't time to reminisce now. She was running late already.

Shoving the disused wheelchair in front of the door to the side, (it had broken a year ago, and they couldn't afford to replace it) she rushed out the door, snagging her heavy bag as she did so.

A blast of cold air hit her in the face as she jogged down the steps of their crappy apartment. December weather wasn't always snowy in Gotham, but it was never not freezing.

She picked up the pace a little, her borderline-threadbare jacket doing no part of its intended job.

---

Living in the Narrows sucked. The library was tiny, crime was rampant, and they had the good fortune of being smack-dab next to Arkham Asylum. But hey, Najida thought sarcastically. At least we have a coffee shop!

Personally, she hated coffee. It tasted awful no matter what you put into it. And the manager was a jerk. If so much wasn't at stake, she would definitely have quit a long time ago. But she needed the money. If she didn't have money, she and her mother would be out on the street in December weather, with nowhere else to go.

Crime wasn't an option, either. Even if she wanted to (which she didn't), she was the kid of an Arkham guard. Any gang worth their salt would kill her on the spot.

So she grit her teeth and headed in, preparing for yet another dull day as a barista at the Bat-Bean.

---

It had been a slow day. Most baristas didn't want to work on such a cold day, and the manager was off yelling at another poor employee, leaving Najida to man the counter. Even when she took a break at lunchtime and after to pray and eat, there were still no people coming in. Just a few more minutes, she told herself. Then your shift's over, and you'll be home free.

There weren't many customers, most people electing to do their Christmas shopping instead. As a Muslim, Najida was happy not to have that problem. Too much stress if you asked her.

She was surprised when the bell on the door jangled, heralding the arrival of the first and also the last customers she'd had all day. Even before the door opened, she could hear them bickering.

"Grayson, this is stupid."

"What's stupid about getting Timbo his much-needed coffee?"

"You didn't have to take me along."

Even from her position at the counter, Najida could hear the disdain in the kid's voice. Perhaps this day would actually turn out to be interesting. If nothing else, she might get to see a tantrum.

They moved up to the counter, and she was able to get a glimpse of them for the first time.

The kid was short, about ten if she had to guess. His features were Middle Eastern, but the country of origin she had no clue about. Contrary to what most people thought, the Middle East was actually a pretty big place. The glare in his eyes promised murder, though. It reminded her a little of the homicidal kids in a horror movie she shouldn't have watched when she was little.

The other customer seemed to be in his twenties. His build was sleek and muscular, without an inch of fat on him. This was a guy who definitely worked out. Black hair and blue eyes completed the look, making him seem weirdly similar to the kid next to him. Maybe they were related?

She cleared her throat, and both heads whipped around to look at her, eyes lingering on her for a bit longer than she was comfortable with.

Najida was used to stares. As a part-Pakistani, part-Syrian, and part-Vietnamese kid of immigrants, she definitely stood out. And that was even before you factored the hijab into the equation. That didn't mean she had to like the attention, though.

"Um, hi. As interesting as your argument is, do you want to order?"

The smaller customer made a noise of annoyance. "This isn't your concern, bar wench."

Najida made a similar noise of annoyance. This kid was definitely a brat. "Excuse me?"

"Damian!" The other customer sharply whacked him on the back of the head before turning to her. "I am so sorry. I swear, we raised him better than this."

"It's fine. I've heard worse."

"If you're sure." He grinned a little. "What's with the name?"

"The Bat-Bean? Oh, that's a stupid thing my manager came up with. Something about thanking Batman for what he's done. Now, I get that, but jeez, at least be creative about it!"

A small chuckle came out of his mouth. "Fair point. I'd like two Bat-Brews, please."

"All right then. I'll be just a minute."

---

The customer-Grayson, she guessed-was happy to get his drinks. "Tim's gonna love this. Thanks again..." He trailed off. "Sorry, I never got your name."

Damian snorted, but whether it was out of frustration or humor, she couldn't tell. "Her tag says Najida."

"Thank you, Damian. Najida, then. Pretty name. Arabic?"

"Yeah. Not many people know that. What's yours?"

"Richard. But people call me Dick."

Now it was Najida's turn to chuckle. "And you let them?"

As Dick sputtered, a grin like the edge of a knife cut across Damian's face. "Apparently, you're not as idiotic as you seem."

That was it. She was done with this smug little brat. "I swear, you have a gift for subtly insulting people. Now, I'm running on three hours of sleep and pure sarcasm, so either you shut up and be polite or I dump hot coffee down the back of your shirt."

"You wouldn't." Okay, he definitely looked more murdery now. Dick looked nervous, like he'd seen this sort of thing happen before and wasn't keen on how it ended. But Najida couldn't back down.

"Don't tempt me."

Dick squeezed the kid's shoulder. "Seriously, behave. That was uncalled for."

Wonder of wonders, Damian finally was quiet, but his eyes were still glaring daggers at Najida as Dick hustled him out the door.

----

It was still as cold as it had been earlier when Najida got off of her shift. Unsurprisingly, her coat was still as ineffective as it had been that morning. But now it was darker, which was bad. The dark was when the shadier side of Gotham came out to play. She had to get home quick.

Najida was four blocks away from her house when she heard it. Footsteps, loud and ominous. More than one set too. And to top it all off, they were coming from right behind her.

Her heart sped up, frantically beating in her chest like a bird against the bars of a cage. This was not good. This was very bad. A tidal wave of panic swept through her as the footsteps got closer and closer. She tugged her jacket close to her, as if it might provide some sort of protection.

It could be nothing, but she wasn't taking that chance. She sped up a little, clenching her hands into fists. She needed to get away. Just a few more blocks, and then she could lock the door and she'd be safe.

Just as she was ready to scream from the tension, it happened. Something cold, hard, and shaped like a circle pressed hard into the back of her head.

"Don't move." The voice was colder than the metal, if that was even possible. "Walk straight into the alley or I'll blow your brains out."

Trembling, Najida obeyed. It sounded childish and stupid even to her own ears, but she didn't want to die. Hell, she didn't even want to be shot. It sounded painful and scary and generally like something she wanted to avoid.

It was hesitant and small, but she finally managed to find her voice. "What do you want?"

The man lowered his gun, the pressure on her head from the weapon thankfully easing as he did so. "Turn around so I can see you."

That was definitely not a tone she liked. Not only was it threatening, it was also creepy. Reluctantly, she turned to face her attacker.

He was big and brawny, with day-old stubble, greasy hair, and a whole lot of tattoos. Bloodshot eyes looked her up and down like she was his latest catch.

Okay, bad train of thought.

Glancing at the entrance, she saw that it was blocked by several other thugs, all either muscular or with weapons. Plus, the gun their leader had was still pointed at her. So escape wasn't an option. Great. If escape wasn't possible, she really had only three other options. Give up, stall for time, or fight. Strangely, she wasn't that fond of the first one.

"What do you want?"

The leader grinned, showing a mouth full of sharp yellow teeth. "This ain't personal, kid. It's just business. Some rich guy in a suit's paying a whole lot of money for me and my boys to kill you."

He might have said more, but Najida had stopped listening. These people had been paid to kill her. Why? And for what purpose?

With a concerted effort, she managed to focus on the man in front of her. He was still smiling, to her frustration. Either her distress gave him pleasure, or he was just an idiot.

Whatever. She'd ponder the scary piece of information he'd just given her later. If there was a later. Right now, she needed to try not to die.

"Now, the suit said we had to kill you. But he also said we had to make it look messy. So this next bit's gonna be both business and pleasure for me." Tossing his gun to one of his cronies, the man in front of Najida moved forward, arms out and hands reaching for her.

This was only getting scarier by the second. She knew what was going to happen next if she didn't do something. She knew she had to fight back. But she also knew that she stood no chance against him with nothing but her tiny fists.

Okay, so she had the basic outline of a plan. Time to do what she did best and improvise.

The wooden plank was heavy in her hands as she picked it up, holding it out in front of her like a shield. Silently, she thanked whatever person threw out their empty fruit crate.

She knew she'd read something in the Quran about not harming people, and this was pretty much the exact opposite of that. But she was being marked for death by a shadowy biotechnology company. Maybe that could be an exception to the rule?

Ah, hell. He'd probably understand.

As the man lunged for her, she yelled a war cry, swinging the board with all the strength she had. It smashed over his head with a sharp crack, and he let out a howl of pain. He wobbled, swaying on his feet as the pieces of the board fell to the ground.

One minute went by, then two. At the three-minute mark, she cursed as the man struggled to a standing position, blood streaming from the top of his head and pure hate in his eyes.

Great. All she'd done was throw away her only advantage and make things worse. Still, it was better than having done nothing.

"You're dead, you bitch!" he spat. Najida's mouth went dry as she spotted a glint of silver in his hand. Of course he'd have another weapon. It looked like a knife, and a sharp one too. Or was it the gun he'd threatened her with? She didn't know. Panic tended to do things to one's memory and vision. Whatever it was he had, that man was going to kill her.

She turned her head to the sky, closing her eyes. "Yaa Allaha, yaghfir li wahramani wadaeuni tasil 'iilaa rafiq ealaa."

Oh Allah, forgive me and have mercy on me and let me reach the Companion on high.

Just as the man's hand grabbed her arm, wrenching it painfully and forcing her back into the brick, she heard it. Or rather, them.

Four soft thuds. That was all the warning she got that her world was about to change forever. Even from her uncomfortable position against the wall, she'd have a hard time not seeing the people who were dropping from the roof up above.

The first person to land was garbed in black and blue, an unmistakable chevron design across his chest and a black domino mask obscuring his identity. Two metal sticks hung in a distinctive X across his back. Nightwing.

The second person to land had a dark brown jacket, a gray uniform with a red bat insignia on the chest, and a red metal hood covering his entire head. He held two guns in his hands, the weapons trained squarely on the thugs. The Red Hood.

The third person to land didn't technically land at all. Wearing a black and red uniform, he had the same domino mask as the first person, but he also had red bladed wings stretching out from his back. He twirled a bo staff with the ease of an expert, clearly excited to fight. Red Robin.

The fourth person to land was smaller than the rest. He had a yellow and black hooded cape, green domino mask and gloves, a red tunic, gray pants, and a golden R on the right side of his chest. Two-Batarangs, she thought they were called-were in his hands, tensed and ready to let fly. Robin.

Najida's eyes widened. This just got even more serious.

(To be continued! Part 2 will be up soon!)

[mystarmyangel]

[FULL TRANS] YoonA - Instyle November 2017 Interview

For the Happy Ending that never ends. Just a movement from her is sufficient to claim the top article on the portal site. Expressions like ‘Every day is the peak’ are constantly stick to her articles. Becoming the magazine cover model this dream-like job, she has been doing this consecutively for several years just like it is an annual event.  The King (Queen) among the flowers, the fierce competition among the blooming flowers, the 10 years where flowers bloomed and wilted, it is not an easy feat to secure a spot. After the drama ‘The King In Love’ ended, I met up with Im YoonA who is busier than ever. She who spoke with the warmest expression in the world, looking at the bulging belly of a staff who is due to give birth in a month. The appearance of how she turned back alone, bowing her head to bid goodbye while everyone else were busy packing to leave the place after the shoot.... These seemly small and trivial yet warm gestures left by Im YoonA are able to linger in one’s memory for a long time.  Her birth flower is Lilac. In the language of flowers, lilacs symbolize first love, memories of youth. Just like first love, girl group SNSD has won more than 100 awards over the past 10 years, and she who has already rose to the top position is currently getting to know the essence of acting.  Director of the movie ‘Confidential Assignment’ Kim Sung Hoon has referred to YoonA “a gemstone, but I saw her potential”.  This potential is proven by the fact that she is nominated for best newcomer award for both Baeksang Arts Awards and Daejong Film Awards. Revolving around SNSD this glittering track, and once again meeting with this world named Im YoonA.  Im YoonA is currently walking towards an even bigger universe of hers.

Your Hanja name is 潤 (윤) for Moist/rich and 娥 (아) for pretty, your birth flower is Lilac... you probably are tired of hearing of this but I have to say, things that are related to YoonA are all pretty stuffs. This is the first time I am hearing that my birth flower is Lilac. It feels amazing because it happens to be the flowers that I like too

Gemini people are sociable. Yes. I am able to mix well with everybody.

Although it may sound a little forceful to determine one’s personality from blood type, just like the movie ‘The B-type man’ (T/l note: I think this is referring to the movie My Boyfriend is Type B), B-type women are really full of charms. Are you referring to sweet pumpkin (slang for ‘being firm and resolute’) kind of personality? (Laughs) If just looking at the blood type, majority of people’s reaction are surprised, their first impression of me is that I am A or O blood type, but once people known me deeper, they will realized that I really seem like one of B blood type. According to my mood, I am clear of what I like and dislike.  Even though I am a ‘Dap jeong nyeo’ (slang for ‘a woman who already has a decision, one who only hears the answer that she wants), but I am actually often swayed by others’ opinions.

How does it feels like living as YoonA, for at least 360 out of 365 days, I am curious of the life of a pretty person. The staffs often tell me “I want to try to be YoonA even for just a day”, whenever this happens, I will always reply with ‘what are you saying’ and laughed. It definitely feels good listening to such words, but because I am Im YoonA myself so I really doesn’t know how I should respond.

Sometimes I will receive photos and texts from friends asking, “What do you think of this style”, and few days ago I received a photo of YoonA in short hair. You are really the envy of girls of the same age. As for myself being the envy of others, even up till now I still feel it is really fascinating. I cut my hair because my hair was really damaged and I am left with no other choices.

I saw your photos from your vacation, it seem like you can’t get enough of it. Because I took a lot of photos and I am constantly arranging them. There is still a lot of it.

In the photos you are constantly holding on to camera, what are the main things you shoot? The main thing I took is scenery and my unnie took photos of me. I can’t imagine travelling by myself, every time I had a break I will go travelling with my family. This time I went to Vienna, Budapest, Prague and Salzburg. I immersed myself in the fairytale-like scenery, and recharged myself fully.

I am curious of your travel style. Compared to rushing here and there, I will first finalize the places of attraction I want to go, and then I will go for sightseeing leisurely, I will give myself appropriate time to rest. With a laidback mindset of “it’s okay if I don’t have the time for it”, I am able to strike a balance between sightseeing and resting.

Seem like your personality is really easygoing, you released ‘When The Wind Blows’ a few weeks ago which is also the first time you participated in lyrics writing.  I read everyone reactions and I also read the post written by the MV director saying “If there is an Olympic for personality, YoonA will be a gold medalist.” It was me who told my company that I want to work with director Lee Rae Kyung. I am the type that is easily influenced by the atmosphere at the set, so I thought that it is very important to be able to be connected emotionally. In order for me to grasp the feels, the director played several songs at the filming set. I kept telling the director that these songs are songs that I personally like too, I didn’t expect him to look at me in such a (favourable) way. (Laughs)

During today’s shooting, which moment did you feel connected? The outdoor shooting scene where I wore the wine red jacket, sticking my face to the wall, I think those are all close-up shoots. I do not have any thoughts like “I should have this kind of facial expression”. It is just that when I am immersed in such atmosphere, my expressions and poses came out naturally. It is a feeling that is understood without being told but the bigger credits goes to the photographer who captured such look.

You have released 62 albums, songs totaled up to 331, 1 movie, 8 drama series. These are what popped out when I searched ‘Im YoonA’ on the internet, your projects over the past 10 years. What is your first feeling when you saw these numbers? I have not done a count together with my recent works; but just by looking at the numbers my first thought is “Wow really?” “This is amazing”.

Even though they are just numbers, but these are the results you have accumulated continuously over the past 10 years. It is really incredible. It has indeed been hectic, I didn’t have excess time to enjoy a life women should enjoy, so I didn’t really have any thing I wanted to do in particular. Neither do I have the energy to do my personal stuffs. However recently I have come to realize the importance of adding value to myself, I am slowly beginning to do the things that I want to do.

In order to add value to yourself, what have you been doing? Doing nothing at home, or go exercising, to a skin clinic or a manicure shop. Because I have got by like this, I am too used to busy lifestyle so I wasn’t able to get used to having a break. When you give me time to rest, I do not know what I should do neither do I know how I should rest. I felt that I should do constructive things. To me, resting is a matter that I need practice; I am still working hard on it.

Perhaps it is because of this, you look even more relaxed and natural now. Ahh that’s great.

Staff(s) that have been paying attention to YoonA since a long time ago said that since your debut, you have already know how to take care and being considerate towards others. In order to feel composed and less nervous, I will often give myself self-encouragement. I really feel at ease a lot lately, I don’t get panicked or frustrated, and I feel relaxed a lot too. This 10 years really give me a calming heart.

In the past one year, you have consecutively took on 3 projects: drama ‘The K2’, movie ‘Confidential Assignment and drama ‘The King In Love’. You also have to take care of SNSD’s 6th album activities. It must be tough both mentally and physically. In actual fact, I had a blank period of 2 to 3 years in Korea, and I feel the thirst towards projects during that period. This yearning eliminates my fear of taking up new roles. Ah, Anna in ‘The K2’ has a totally different personality from mine, I was once very worried but it seem like the reactions I gotten are surprisedly well so I gotten courage and motivation for my next work.

After ‘The King In Love’ ended, you unexpectedly had a lot of press interviews; everyday has been hectic for you. It seem like you have a lot of sentimental attachment to the drama. No matter what I will always hope for a good ending. I think that it is the best to wrap up any project with post-project interviews, to put a closure with a sincere heart. Not only am I able to express things that I was unable to say back then, on the other hand I am also curious of audience’s reaction. This is also an indirect way where I can interact with my fans.

‘9 Ends 2 Outs’ which aired in 2007 was your debut work. What is the kind of hearty homerun that you anticipate in your life? I don’t ask for others, but I hope to be able to meet with a project that I can display fully 100% Im YoonA. Right now I am still not sure what kind of roles suit me, my past roles are roles that do not have a job, so fans really look forward to me in a role with a profession. There are also fans hoping that I will act as a rich girl, one who is mean and picky, and owns everything except a good personality.

Among all the things surrounding YoonA, I realized that you understand your fans really well. Do you realize you are a ‘fans-mania’ (someone who has fans in her heart) When I held a birthday party with fans, fans said they wish to see Ooh La-la stage performance, a song that was in our first studio album. I made a promise with them that I will fight for it to come true. While preparing for the song list for SNSD’s 10th year debut anniversary. I insisted that regardless of what we have to include this song. Because this song is more towards the cutesy side, so members feel embarrassed of it. I insisted saying that this will be fun, and in the end it got finalized.

You are a hidden charity angel, I heard that you are the first girl group member to join the ‘Honor society’, you have been consistently involved in charity works from debut till now. This is thanks to my family that I began this. My birthday this year, fans donated a sum of 19900530 won which reflected my exact birthday. I am really thankful that fans are able to do good deeds together with me; I have to work even harder.

Fans who are enthusiastically supporting you have also gradually increased, your sense of responsibility must also have increased with increasing influence right. I put down the weight, and walk side by side with fans; this is my mentality right now. In the time we spent together, growing up together with everyone, I feel very at ease.

Lately, has there been any work that leaves an impact on you? I am currently reading a book called “아무것도 아닌 지금은 없다” (Literally translated as 'The Present Cannot Be Meaningless') and I received a lot of comfort from it. I am learning how to think from a different perspective, and when I was at It, I realized that never once did I tell myself things like ‘you have worked hard’. I am not the kind that will talk to myself (Laughs). I started reading this book when drama ‘The King In Love’ ended, and for the first time I told myself that I have worked hard. (Book: Link)

You seem to be a gentle person, so it is a little surprising. I am someone who is very harsh on myself, no matter what I am learning I always find myself lacking, I wanted to do everything well, so often people told me that I am a perfectionist.

I thought that you are someone who only walk on flowery paths, I heard that you are the member that was the longest as a trainee, and before your debut you even auditioned for over a 100 times. Movies, dramas and CFs indeed do added up to more than 100 times; it set a very good foundation for me. Before, I got really shy when I stood in front of the public, but I have become a lot more confident since then.

Since elementary school, it is really incredible how you persisted over more than 5 years as a trainee Perhaps it is because I didn’t understand much back then, and it is things that I like so I work hard unconditionally for it. Even though it was tough but because I am doing things that I love so I feel happy. However if it is right now then perhaps I won’t do it anymore. (Laughs)

If you ever thought of an ordinary life, what would you like to do? I want to go travelling freely. Because of my schedules I get to go to a lot of countries but I have to head back once my schedules ended so I didn’t have much time to travel leisurely.

2 years ago today, can you still remember what you were doing then? That time I think I set up my Instagram account.

However your following has already reach 7.09million now, do you still remember what you were doing in September 2016? I was filming ‘The K2’. From there I realized the joy of acting.

So what kind of memories do you have for September 2017? Cutting short hair for the first time in 8 years? (Laughs)

Can ‘Im-Ballads’ recommended some music that you enjoy lately, if I listen to songs, I will be reminded of YoonA in this autumn. I like indie band Jannabi’s songs, and also Yoon Hyun Sang’s ‘I, You’ Song: Link

Cr: Chinese Trans by 小挚&佳佳​&YOONAYACOM​​​​ Eng Trans: mystarmyangel

[muirin]

I’m So Confused

I’m trying really hard to figure out what I am. I’m bad with labels, and I’ve never been good at self-discovery, finding myself, or any of that. I’ve just kinda been me, and life just floats through me like a fog. It happens, and I make decisions, and I go where I go without thinking too hard about what it all means. That all changed a few months ago, and now I find myself stuck, wondering who and what I am, with no introspective skills to really figure it all out.

Things I definitely know: I cross-dress and I love it. I really like who I see in the mirror/camera when I’m dressed in traditionally female clothing and makeup. For brevity’s sake, I’m just gonna call this “dressed like a woman” because yes, I get that anyone can wear anything, regardless of gender and all, but I hope you’ll give me the benefit of the doubt. I’m frightened by what all this could mean for my family life.

Things I think I know: I think I feel, deep down, more feminine when I’m dressed like a woman. I’m pretty sure I do. I feel like people who are androgynous slide in my perception toward the male side of the spectrum, or at least the “more male than me” side of the spectrum when I’m dressed like a woman.

Things I don’t know: What this means. What to call myself. What to do.

Here’s some history.

I don’t remember ever having dramatic, crushing, born-in-the-wrong-body crises when I was little, like the folks who write the articles about being trans. I do remember playing with my sister’s toys, and having no problem with doing so, but it was usually when I was playing with my sister. It didn’t get any kind of attention. Positive, or negative.

I remember trying on my sister’s bras. I’d fish them out of the hamper, stuff them with socks, and look at myself. It just felt like a thing. There were no revelations from the sky. No deep conclusions that “This is who I’m supposed to be.” It was just a thing. I always figured it was something everyone did. Thank goodness I never told anyone about it.

I got bullied a lot, especially in grade school. They called me by a feminine version of my name. Even my neighborhood friend called me ‘fag’. I remember it hurting. It makes me wonder now if this bullying caused me to push things down. To deny any kinds of feelings of femininity for fear of more ridicule. I don’t know.

I remember my sister coming out as gay in high school. I remember it being a big explosion in my house. I remember her stealing my hoodies to cover up her body. I remember being really angry about it. I remember her bout with anorexia. I remember not feeling much about that at all. I don’t think I understood the seriousness of it. I was still, frankly, pissed at her for being so terrible to me through high school.

I remember being in my 20s and being envious of women’s clothes. Mostly for the variety and choice of it. Women can wear flats or heels or sneakers or boots. Women can wear jeans or capris or shorts or skirts or dresses. I wanted that kind of variety. I was stuck in jeans, tee shirts, and hoodies in the real world, and khakis and polos in shitty retail jobs. And now I’m doubting whether or not it was about variety so much as the clothes themselves.

In my early 30s, I experimented with cross-dressing once. I knew nothing. I bought a bra and some makeup and a skirt and a tight shirt . I put on a silly blue wig I got at a Halloween store and took pictures of myself with an ancient webcam. I posted the photos to an anonymous message board, and was mocked mercilessly. I shouldn’t have expected any better from the internet. I put all those things in a bag and into a drawer and forgot about them for a long time.

I learned on a halloween one year that a friend of mine was a frequent cross-dresser. I thought “Good for him”, and had trouble figuring out what pronouns to use when. I didn’t even think about the clothes in my drawer.

I got married. I married a wonderful woman who made me feel good and safe and loved. I didn’t tell  her about the cross dressing, though. Partly because I’d pushed it away, partly cuz it felt shameful.

I used the word “tranny” in front of my sister, and she got really angry. She had to explain why. I told her I used it because it’s what my friend’s wife calls him, because he cross-dresses. My sister explained why that’s not cool. I took it to heart, and never used that word again.

I got a little bit involved in a local kink scene. It’s nice. There are ups and downs, some made and broken relationships, but generally, it’s good. Kink stuff could be a whole other post full of history, so I’ll leave it there.

I joined an online community that fostered fantasies of bodily transformation. Being things that you weren’t or couldn’t be. Silly, cartoonish stuff, really. The internet brings crazy fandoms and common interests together. There was a disproportionate number of trans people there. I fostered an emotional relationship with someone there who presented themselves as a female. Then, one day, she told me she decided to present male instead. I was crushed, and called it off.

I began to get the suspicion that my cross-dressing friend was more than just a cross-dresser. She slowly stopped using her male facebook, and almost exclusively used her female facebook. When I think about her now, it’s always with her girl name. I say she/her when I’m talking about her.

My sister came out to me as trans. I now have a brother. I wasn’t shocked. I didn’t mourn. I was mostly worried about how this would blow up with my parents. It did. I thought to myself that my brother’s a lot cooler than my sister ever was. I figure that 30-something years of actively hiding who you are can wear on you and make me angry. In my head, nothing snapped into place. I didn’t even think of my probably-trans friend. I didn’t think of my online community. I didn’t think of the clothes in the corner of my drawer.

I decided to try on a female voice/name online. Nothing really changed. Everyone was just as nice and open and welcoming as they were before. Nobody treated me differently. They just called me a new name. I flipped between male and female voices. Probably half and half at the beginning, and slowly started sliding toward always-female. It was nice. I thought to myself that maybe people were nicer to me when I was presenting female. I couldn’t be sure.

My kid was born.  A fantastic little kid.

I found a “main” kink top. She’s (still) amazing. The relationship grew very fast, and neither of us handled it well. It caused a lot of problems, and my marriage took a bad turn. We went to couples therapy. My wife felt like I was hiding things from her. I kind of was. I admitted it, smashed the brakes on the kink relationship, and things are getting better.

My friend is definitely trans, and even when she’s presenting male, I call her ‘lady’ and her chosen female name and I always tell stories about her, not him. She announced that her cosplay photographer wants to do a just-for-fun photo shoot, and anyone’s welcome. I asked her to help me dress up like a girl for some photos, and she agreed to help. She walked me through the steps of doing my makeup, loaned me some body parts (okay, boobs) and a wig. When I looked in the mirror, I said “I love you.” That’s not something I’ve ever done. It felt like a big deal.

Things started moving fast at about this point. It’s still so foggy and disorganized and confusing in my head.

My trans friend asked if the cross-dressing is a kink thing or an identity thing or what, and I tell her I don’t know. She insists that I do some thinking about it, and let her know. I did some thinking and I let her know that it’s somewhere fuzzy and in-between. It’s not just a kink thing. The thrill wasn’t a sexual thing. It wasn’t for my top so much as it was for me. It was an “I like who I see in the mirror thing”, but I was nowhere near any kind of “This is who I should be.” She got kind of cold and business-like in her reply, and essentially boiled it down to “I can’t help you with that. You should talk to your therapist.”

I did talk to my therapist, and to a close friend or two. The consensus is that it’s okay to be unsure and foggy and somewhere in-between.

I explained to a confidant that sometimes when I’m “attracted” to a woman I see on the street, it’s not because I want to have sex with her. It’s because “I want to just, like, steal her body and be in it.” She got what I meant, and understood that it wasn’t some kind of weird Buffalo Bill sort of thing.

I loved the photos from the shoot, and couldn’t stop looking at them. I shared them with my online friends, and they all said very nice things. I spent a bunch of christmas money on makeup and silicone boobs and a wig and clothes. I told my wife about it, and it was bad. In trying to explain my state of mind, I told her about the female voice I used online. It didn’t help. I didn’t have any words to make things right. To make her understand.

To her, this was just the latest surprise, and she wondered if it would ever end. She wondered about other things I could be hiding.  She wondered if I’d ever stop ‘looking for more than I have.’ I told her I don’t know. We did a lot of work in therapy. Things got better, but it was hard and it left a deep mark. It made me very reluctant to talk about this stuff with her any more. Mostly for fear of damaging our relationship or straining things more. I really don’t like conflict.

I started trying on makeup and dresses and skirts more often when I had random free time. I was temporarily unemployed for a while, so I had a lot of free time. I shot a bunch of selfies and liked them. I shared with my friends online, and they still had nice things to say. It made me feel good.

This brings us to about the present. Where I am now. It’s probably even less organized.

I’m not androgynous. Getting even barely close to ‘passing’ is a lot of hard work, but I feel like that work pays off.

When I walk through the city, I look at women in their clothes, and I still feel a lot of envy. I want to be able to wear what they wear, but I know that most of the outfits I like wouldn’t flatter me. On good days, I see the girls who have narrower hips and broader shoulders, and I think “I could pull that off.” On bad days, I dwell on the fact that I’m built very much like a dude. I’ve read the fashion guides for the “wedge” body shape. Angelina Jolie, right? Sleeveless is out. Pencil skirts are out. Sleeves and A-lines are in. Otherwise, I’d just end up looking silly and top-heavy. The bad days are really hard.

I practice my “girl walk” when I walk through the gay part of town.

I try to imagine being out and about while dressed like a woman. It’s exciting and terrifying.

I contemplate my penis sometimes. I wonder if I’d be better off without it. I wonder if I’m just thinking that because I should.

I still don’t know what I am, or what to do about any of this. I don’t know if I’m trans. I’m pretty sure I’m some flavor of queer, but I don’t know if I’m bigender or genderfluid or some other thing.

I don’t know if I’m just latching onto what I think is the group of “cool kids” in my circle of friends who happen to be queer, and I’m trying to be more like them. More accepted by them.

I can’t tell if I’m mentally recoiling at all of the backlash that white straight cis-guys are getting, and this is my way of shying away from that group.

I can’t tell if fear of losing my family, my wife and child, are making me think around the things, and making me deny things, or if these feelings are really not there.

I don’t know if I just feel like I’m ugly and I think girls are prettier, and since I want to be prettier, then I guess I should be a girl. There’s more I don’t know than I do at this point.

I don’t have any kind of conclusion, beside just typing it out, shouting it out to the world, and trying to make sense of another day.

I’m so confused.

[thailandnights]

Pattaya Ladyboys: The Sexiest Shemales in the World

Pattaya is heaven for those who wants to have a hot and clean ladyboy experience. The best looking ladyboys from all over Thailand come to Pattaya looking for work, and it's your job to give it to them!

Whether you like thin and tan bodies or tall and white-skinned, the sheer amount of ladyboys available is stunning. Clean shaven hard bodies, these transexual girls are exciting in bed, and are often fun-loving and light hearted as well. The perfect travel experience, plus no fear of pregnancy! Not just for homosexuals, Thai ladyboys come pre-op and post-op as described further below.

My First Time

My very first time having sex with a ladyboy was great. I was lucky enough to find a feminine stunner that was hotter than a lot of real women. Tall, white smooth skin and packing a natural big booty.

Kissing her felt like any other woman, and no strange feelings of being with a man arose in me (which has happened at various occasions following). Her body was noticeably harder than most women's, undoubtedly due to the fact that she was born to a man's body.

This particular ladyboy, named Noi, worked in Pattaya, and was born in Chiang Mai. She was wearing a black tight mini-dress that made her body look incredibly enticing. Naturally hairless, except for a few regions which she kept clean waxed. Licking around her curves and crevices tasted so feminine and sweet, something you would never find in a full-blown man.

Noi had a high energy in the bed, and enjoyed everything with humor and fun. Kissing and groping was intense and full of passion for the moment. As I sucked on her breast implants I was pleased to find no nipple hair, and she the perfect not-to-big fake boobs.

As groping progressed, the energy got hot, and it was clear that I was about to fuck a woman. Or maybe that's just the subconscious speaking. A lot of guys worry about whether having sex with a transsexual is considered gay or not gay, to which I have one answer: try it. If you're gay you'll know.

Once it came time for the grind, I uncovered her ass which was fully groomed and manicured fresh. That little butt hole was about to get reamed and creamed, and was the perfect vessel for my eager cock.

Not to go into full gory details, all I will say is that it was a great sexual experience, that led me to meet other ladyboys, some which did not have the same luster. Finding a true winner is not that easy, as the photographs Pattaya ladyboys use online are mostly doctored and old. If you find a real keeper, hold onto her.

Types of Pattaya Ladyboys

Pre-op (มีหำ) With dick

The most popular ladyboys in Pattaya have dicks. Most who want to jump in the sack with a transsexual aren't looking for a replica of a real woman, but rather a whole different sexual experience. Beautifully pre-op tan waxed bodies look great bent over doggy, and a good romp will get her cumming hands-free.

Thai cocks are rarely if never circumcised, so be ready for this. Most of the macho Thai guys who bang a Pattaya ladyboy hit them from the back, while the more feminine guys go all out sucking and fucking each other. Pattaya ladyboys are easy to get into three-ways and other group sex endeavors. All it takes is a little cash, or some dating game.

Ladyboys with dicks are versatile in bed, and aren't afraid to tell you this. Whether you are looking for a top, bottom, or both, just ask the question. The majority of ladyboys in Pattaya will know this question... but if not you can always ask them in Thai:

mii ham mai (มีหำไหม) = Do you have a cock?

-Post-op (แปลงเพศ) No dick

A minority of Pattaya ladyboys have undergone genital reassignment surgery. This means their penis is cut reformed into a makeshift vagina, although some of these are purely for show. A good surgery result will be ready for sex, but often that is not the case.

For those squemish about sleeping with another penis, post-op ladyboys may be right for you, and can be an effective stepping stone into the transsexual community.

One friend recalls his experience with a post-op transexual: The pussy looked impressivly authentic, although there was no natural lubrication. Not as scary as some may think, up close to her genital area was nice and hygienic. Unfortunately, she was only able to take 3 inches, so the back door was still the primary organ used for sex.

As a result of genital reassignment surgery, some Thai ladyboys may lose their sex drive. Something to ask about and consider on your trip to Pattaya.

If you want to ask a ladyboy if she has done the procedure, honestly hand gestures are better than trying to pronounce a language you are not yet comfortable with - if that's the case. But for those who insist on speaking Thai, here's the translation below. Don't worry about the tones, just try to say it as it reads.

tam salaya gam pleng pet ruu yang (ทำศัลยกรรมแปลงเพศหรือยัง)

Where to find ladyboys in Pattaya?

Freelancers

Meeting hot ladyboys who are DTF is easier than reading this article when you're in the heart of Pattaya. Simply take a walk around any frequented soi and you're sure to find a friendly ladyboy smile, who may even call you out offering her services.

Spend less money with freelancers than you would at a go-go bar or escort service. Marine Disco is one of the few nightclubs in Pattaya that let ladyboys in. Hit this spot for freebies if you're lucky.

Full on street hookers can be found by Beach Road frequently, and also at Walking Street during the late night hours. Take a cruise there as well as Soi Buakao -- don't pay over 1000 baht for short-time.

Online dating services have tons of stunning ladyboys ready to jump in the sack within minutes notice. Thai Friendly is free to sign up and you can even send messages for free too.

Ladyboy Massage Parlors

For the cheap quickie, you can ease the stress of the day with a speedy blow job or even more at tons of places in Pattaya. It's full of happy ending massage parlors. Where to find them? Chances are that if you see a ladyboy working in a "massage" advertized place, it's most likely a blow job joint.

Try Soi 13/1 or 13/2 at all hours of the day. All the way from from Beach Road to Second Road is loaded with happy ending massage parlors that will likely have at least one hot ladyboy working.

Pay the normal Thai massage/Oil massage prices of 300-500 baht, then get your happy ending finish for another 300-500 Baht extra. You shouldn't be paying more than 1000 baht for a massage and a shoot session. Transsexuals give great massages, ask anyone in Pattaya.

One specifically ladyboy massage joint is located on Second Road between Soi 13/2 and 13/3. Great service and lots of friendly transsexual stunners around the clock.

Bars and Go-Go's

The best place to find professional sex experts is in a Pattaya bar. Thailand is full of hot and steamy bars packed with blazingly sexy transsexuals. Ladyboy bars and Go-Go bars should be the curious tourist's first and last stop. Read our 3 favorite bars below.

Best 3 Ladyboy Bars Pattaya (Quick Review)

Kitten Club Pattaya (A-Go-G0)

This adult bar in Pattaya is home to some of the world's sexiest kittens. How convienent that it's part of the Kitten Club which offers full-on women, as opposed to Obsessions that is straight ladyboy heaven *not sure that straight is the right term hehe. The two bars are connected to the Penthouse Hotel, so when you're ready to take your sexy ladyboy into the bedroom for some fun, you don't have to go far. Short-time room costs 500 baht.

One hot point of Obsessions is the jacuzzi right in the middle of this devious sex den, making for a very hot experience. Go there, buy some lady drinks (or ladyBOY drinks) and enjoy life on the wild side!

Opens at around 6PM and usually runs until 2AM. You might be able to snag some discounts if you get there around closing.

Baby Boom A-Go-Go

If you don't want to see other tourists around while you are in ladyboy heaven, find this bar! Located in a unfrequented backalley off of Soi Buakhao, Baby Boom can offer a lot of attention for the ladyboy enthusiast. 5-star hotties and decent prices make this spot a personal favorite. Owned by a friendly European, Baby Boom can host parties and is very accomidating to it's customers. One of the best ladyboy bars in Pattaya if you like things a bit more private.

Sensations Bar

Of the most frequented and highly reviewed ladyboy establishments in Pattaya, Sensations Bar is one of the best. Right in the open on Soi Buakhao, the super sexy trans-girls bring in the attention. Some of the best looking, truly beautiful clean ladyboys are in Sensations Bar, and are sure to make you smile... or more.

Sensations Bar has been around since 2012 and is foreign-Thai owned as are many. Good reputation for customer treatment and wild parties! Open from 5PM to 2AM or so.

The post Pattaya Ladyboys: The Sexiest Shemales in the World appeared first on Thailand Nights.

Article source here: Pattaya Ladyboys: The Sexiest Shemales in the World

[rpf-bat]

Give Us The Radio

Pairing: none

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Request fic for @sleepersareweaker. “hey, could you maybe do something with ftm drummer reader, like in Truth is Now Acceptable, being reassured and cared for by the rest of the band after a bad day with a lot of misgendering?”

You and the rest of My Chemical Romance had been busy. You were sweaty and exhausted from playing a long show. You’d been anxious about it, because this was the first time you’d be performing in your new short haircut and masculine clothes. But, the fans had still cheered for you loudly during your drum solo. Emo kids were used to bending the rules of gender, you supposed. They’d never been bothered by Gerard’s androgyny, either.

You’d made an official announcement on the band’s website about your transition a few days before. You were reluctant at first, because you figured media backlash was inevitable, but, as Frank pointed out, if you wanted your fans to use your correct pronouns, you had to tell them what they were. You’d almost cried when you saw a couple teenage fans who were also trans guys comment to tell you how much it meant to them that their idol was just like them.

One fan you’d seen dancing in the pit had held up a sign: WE LOVE YOU, MR. Y/N!

The kids were so supportive. Adults, who weren’t in the fandom, however, were another story.

Like this asshole radio show host you and the guys had an interview with right now. She’d just called you by your deadname, even though she had to be aware of your coming out post by now.

“His name is Y/N,” Gerard said with an impatient look.

“Right, sorry,” the host shrugged. “Anyway, let’s talk more about your new album, The Black Parade. You recorded it in this, like, haunted house, right?”

“Yeah, this place called the Paramour Mansion,” Ray nodded. “A few of us experienced some weird stuff while we were working on the album, actually. Mikey heard doors slamming themselves shut, and Y/N swears he saw something in the bathroom one night.”

“Oh, she did?” the host asked.

“He,” said Frank, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m sorry?” the host blinked. Why was she acting so confused? She had to be doing this on purpose.

“He did,” Ray clarified.

“Yeah, I swear the bathtub, like, filled itself,” you recalled.

“Wow, spooky,” the host nodded. “Did that haunted atmosphere influence the album’s sound, do you think?”

“Yeah,” Mikey said quietly. “Somewhat. I mean, the album was about death to begin with, but….”

“Hold that thought,” the host interrupted. “We have a caller! Rachel, right? Do you have a question for My Chemical Romance?”

“Yeah,” said a teenage voice on the other end of the line. “Hi, boys!”

“Hi,” you and the rest of your band chorused. You liked Rachel already, simply because she’d referred to the five of you as boys. That meant she saw you as a boy, too.

“So, umm, my question,” Rachel began nervously. “It’s for Y/N, actually. So, my friend at school just came out as trans. What should I do to support him?”

“Ooh, what a great question,” the host encouraged. “Since Rachel brought it up…..Gerard, how did you feel when Y/N said she wants to be a man now?”

“He was always a man,” Gerard said coldly. “But, now, he gets to show the world that, instead of having to act like he’s a woman.”

“We’re really glad that Y/N doesn’t have to deal with that kind of dysphoria anymore,” Mikey added. “Honestly, I wish he’d told us before.”

“Yeah, I feel so bad that we’d been calling him ‘she’ all this time, and didn’t know it was bothering him,” Frank frowned.

“It’s not your fault,” you said, looking at the petite guitarist. “I’m the one who chose not to come out to you for such a long time.”

“Were you afraid of what their reaction would be?” the host wondered.

“Yeah, I was,” you confessed. “In hindsight, I don’t really know why. I should’ve known that these guys are my brothers, and nothing was going to change the friendship I have with them.”

“So, yeah, Rachel,” Ray said, turning his attention back to the fan who had called in to the show. “Just make sure your friend knows that his being trans doesn’t change how you feel about him, ok?”

“I will!” Rachel said happily. She sounded like she was about fifteen. “By the way, your new album rocks! I love ‘Famous Last Words’!”

“Thanks,” Gerard said gratefully. You heard a click as your fan disconnected the call.

“Ray, do you really think you gave that girl the best advice?” the host wondered.

“What do you mean?” Ray cocked his head, tossing his floof in confusion.

“Personally, I think if someone is having gender confusion, it may be a sign that they’re mentally ill,” the host said bigotedly. “I think that girl should talk to a counselor about her friend, and get her some help.”  

“I don’t think he needs any help,” Frank snapped. “Being transgender isn’t a fucking illness, and outing your friend to a school official without his permission would be a really shitty thing to do.”

“So, it doesn’t make you concerned about Y/N’s mental health at all, that she wants to be a tranny?” the host asked pointedly.

“I think,” Gerard said angrily, “that if you use slurs like that against my drummer again, or you call him ‘she’ one more time, we’re going to walk right the fuck out of this interview.”

“But, we’ve still got another hour of the show left to go!” the host protested.

“We don’t care,” Mikey agreed with his brother. “If you want to be transphobic, you can find a new band to be your guest.”

“Doesn’t your album need the press?” the host insisted.

“Not from you, if you want to be an asshole to Y/N,” Frank said, getting up from his chair and walking towards the door. “What do you say, guys? Wanna blow this popsicle stand?”

“Let’s get out of here,” Ray agreed, giving you his hand to help you out of your seat. Gerard took your other hand, squeezing it tight in a gesture of solidarity.

“Let it be known now,” Mikey announced. “My Chemical Romance is not going to work with anyone in this industry who thinks Y/N is anything other than a real, amazing man.”

Linking arms, the five of you walked right out of the studio into the bustling street. You were in this together.

[pomegranate-salad]

Seeds of Thought : Wicdiv #26

Is it just me or we waited for this issue longer than the previous one ? Anyway, my tutorials haven’t started yet but that means professors are free to add as many lectures as they want. I was in class from 10 am to 9 pm yesterday and the day before with no interruption. Clearly my college’s motto is “we were so busy wondering if we could, we never stopped to wonder if the students could”. So that’s why this post took me a bit longer to publish. I need to start monetizing this gig somehow.

As usual, thoughts and opinion on the issue under the cut, spoilers included. Enjoy.

 ROLL UP THE PARTITION, PLEASE

 So far, Imperial Phase (part one) is a strange, strange arc. It feels both as the most Wicdiv thing Wicdiv has ever done, and as something from another series entirely. If Rising action was “an ideal jumping-on point”, Imperial Phase is an ideal breaking-up point. As the ellipsis that separated Rising Action from Imperial Phase portended, this is the arc before which the cards have been reshuffled, and all we’ve learned so far about the story and its characters comes into question again. And in that context, one of the most noticeable changes from previous arcs is the way it handles reveals. Aside from big twists and cliffhangers, Wicdiv has already been very careful to weave its more character-oriented reveals into the narrative flow, to make conversation between its characters as natural as possible when it came to what they were willing to say about themselves. Think of the way we learn Cass is trans, that Ammy lost her father… Giving the audience information always came second to the character’s own communication pattern, which more often than not only gave us snippets of what we wanted to know.

Meanwhile, Imperial Phase’s character reveals feel a lot more heavy-handed, calling a lot more attention to themselves. From literal interviews of the gods to them detailing their sexual orientation to each other, information just seems to fly left and right compared to how long some characters have remained a mystery until then. And this issue might be the most flagrant example yet. Over its course, we learn a bunch of things, some we already kind of knew (like Dio’s asexuality), some more unexpected (like Cass’ polyamorous lesbian relationship), and others long awaited (like Baal’s real name, which by the way confused the hell out of me at first because in French “Valentine” is a girl’s name). But when so many reveals are able to take us aback, just as the gods finally get an opportunity to spend more time with each other, a question starts to form : How well do we know these people ? And more importantly to the story, how well do they know each other ?

 It’s been over a year since the gods have started to interact, and something like two since Wicdiv has started, and yet at a point in which most series’ cast would already form a functioning crew, the Pantheon can’t make it past one simple reunion without breaking apart. The simplest dialogue seems to bring new, surprising information to both sides, and even Baal and Persephone who have been dating for six months apparently know jack shit about each other.

But if the reveals feel so oppressing in this arc, this might be because this is the first one in which the characters are actually forced to face them too. Looking back, the Pantheon has never known this kind of unity ; there’s always been some sort of division preventing any large-scale interaction. First there were characters seeking the truth versus characters willing to accept the Luci cover-up, gods versus yet-to-ascend Laura and Cass, Underground versus sky gods, and of course Team Persephone versus Team Ananke. As a result, gods mostly have been too busy picking bones to actually get to know each other. We know for a fact that some gods never even met before the Rising action arc. Worse, the Pantheon has consistently lost its most aggregating members : Luci and Inanna, who by virtue of their intermediary mythological positions and sexual pursuits had formed bonds with several other gods, Tara who was uniting everybody in their distaste of her, and finally Ananke who was supporting the entire structure of the Pantheon.

 The inevitable conclusion to this rundown is that, at the time when important decisions must be made, the people in charge simply don’t know much about each other. And this reunion could only go about as well as any assigned work group. Which is to say, badly. It’s kind of amazing how this Pantheon meeting is reminiscent of a high school project and its most cliché figures. First we have Baal assuming the leader role - now complete with a tragic spiderman-ish backstory - who only makes things worse by trying to make them absolute. Then we have Cass as the smarter-than-thou kid whose good intentions get hindered by their need for validation and their bad handling of criticism. And then we have Sakhmet as the kid in the corner who’s somehow proud of not contributing in the slightest.

Of course, things are never that simple, not even in real life. But as “human” beings, and specifically teenagers, the gods react like anyone who has to get through to people they sometimes barely know : communication is just as much about ideas that it is about personas. The gods don’t just want to convince, they want to make themselves look as good as possible in the eyes of their peers. This comes back to something I’ve talked about numerous times before : between the gods and their social self, there is a gap formed by how much they are willing to “be themselves” in the presence of others. We’re at a point in the story in which each god’s persona has been enforced on their peers and they must now carefully navigate to maintain this image and use it in the best way to convince. Their persona is as much a tool to shine as it is a straightjacket restraining their ability to reach out. And when twelve people are playing this game simultaneously, the most innocuous decision gets lost amidst the bid for the spotlight.

 Let’s take a moment to seize just how bullshit this whole voting plotpoint is : it rests on both a false premise, that any majority decision besides anarchy can be enforced, and a false dilemma between fighting and studying. The people who want to fight and those who want to study want the exact same thing, only in different capacities, and the people who want anarchy weren’t going to help in the first place. I feel confident in affirming that any voting outcome would have basically had the same result : people willing to help helping in the capacity they’re most suited for, while the remaining gods are sitting on their ass. So how did it come to a vote in the first place ? First, you have Baal and Cass vying for the Most Righteous trophy, which prompts Persephone to push towards the solution that will most restrict everyone’s responsibility in the decision (I’ll come back to that in a moment). Sakhmet lets them know she’s not interested in either choice, which would have probably remained an incident remark if not for Cass and Baal catching the soft ball and blowing it out of proportion. And here we are. Out of a simple discussion, they’re made a house divided. Somewhere along the lines, the reunion stopped being about what was right and became about who was right.

 Graphic analysis is not my specialty, but I find this whole theme to be reflected particularly well in the nine grid panel structure. There’s the obvious fact that most of the panels show only one god, each of them finding themselves oppressed and isolated by the delineation. But the backhand of the fact is that most of the panels do not show who the god is talking to. Even when the god is addressing a specific person, the conversation feels like a statement for the entire group. Everyone is painfully aware of the others’ eyes on them. Every panel has something of a Facebook wall to it : technically made to communicate, in reality used as a forefront for people to look at.

 There’s of course one exception, and once again I have to talk about Persephone. I find it odd that these analysis posts of mine always come back to Persephone when the story is clearly branching to other protagonists in this arc while she willingly adopts a recessed position. While in SOT#24 I talked about her lack of goal and in SOT#25 her rejection of responsibility, these themes come back in issue #26 in a more concrete and spelled-out way. If you’re an early Laura fan like me, it’s really hard to wrap your head around the journey from the girl who jumped in front of a subway to help her friend to the god who won’t even protest when some of her peers are trying to cast her aside. But as painful as this change is, it also feels justified and progressive. Of all the living protagonists, Persephone is the one who had to make the most choices, had to see the most people she cared about die, has the greatest power at her disposal, has the most blood on her hands. Not only that, she’s arguably the closest to an aggregating character we have left after Ananke’s death : she’s met all the gods quite early, has developed bonds with almost all of them, and cared probably more than any of them about their wellbeing. Imperial Phase had every card in place for her to become the undisputed central character of the comic.

And yet, while her peers are fighting for the spotlight, Persephone is sinking in the shadows. During the whole nine panel grid sequence, she’s colored in a somber tone, away from the lights above the table illuminating the gods’ faces. While the gods are sitting or static, she’s the only one walking around, ignoring the empty seats. And when she has to cast a vote, for the first time in the sequence we see someone who is only looked at, silent, with the camera on their back.

And then of course she chooses anarchy. Just like she would have gone with the majority if anarchy hadn’t been on the table. Why suggest a vote when you probably have enough clout to make the discussion go your way ? Because it requires the smallest involvement of every member. Even when you are the deciding vote, your responsibility in the outcome is only as important as anyone else’s. No one can say it was her fault without accusing everyone else of not swinging the vote. Just like there is no fault in crashing your motorcycle in a wall if you come out unharmed and you can get a new one. Persephone went from being the driving force of the plot to avoiding responsibility at every turn. The gods now need to make their own mistakes, because she won’t carry anyone else.

Should this be read as selfish, as Dio says ? That’s definitely the result, but in Persephone’s case, things aren’t as simple. You don’t have your choices determine the lives of everyone you care about and come out unscathed. Persephone crumbled under the weight. Worse, every new development points to her decisions being the root of the danger they’re facing now. Despite probably being the most powerful god, she is useless against the Darkness. One after the other, she is losing every footing she has in the group. It would be so easy to slip into a more comfortable villainess role. The Pantheon is divided. The emblem of her power is the emblem of their death. Will she make the jump ? Who knows. I still want to believe Laura and her courage, Laura and her faith, is in there somewhere. But so is Laura and her pain, Laura and her desperation, Laura who’s been through so much more than any other god will for her. In an issue in which, more than ever before, the gods wanna be adored, Persephone just wanna let go.

  WHAT I THOUGHT OF THE ISSUE :

 I knew I’d eventually come across an issue for which I’d struggle to write this part. One thing you consistently get thrown at you when you’re as critical as I am is how easy it is to throw tomatoes instead of praise, and I won’t disagree : divisive and controversial make for an easy blogpost, and you can even reap edgy points in the process. But it’s never been clear to me why it’s so much easier to explain why things don’t work than explain why they do. Maybe I’m just more reluctant to pick apart a functioning piece than a broken one. “Why doesn’t it work ?” I don’t know, let’s open it and take a closer look. “Why does it work ?” Who cares, just look at it running.

But that’s where we are with issue #26, an issue kinda too boringly perfect for me to really write volumes about. I don’t mean perfect in the flawless sense, but in the sense that it’s an issue with a clear goal, some specific formalist tools, hitting the mark perfectly.

We’ve been amped up this issue as the first capital one of this arc, and it feels exactly like this : it’s neither a letdown nor a complete rupture with the previous toned-down issues. We learn just as much as we need to feel the plot progressing while more and more questions are piling up. We’re introduced to a new status quo solidly built on the old one.

I want to say this issue is adequate in every way, but somehow it feels like an insult instead of a compliment. If I have one real criticism, it’s that this issue didn’t really elicit any emotional response from me, probably because we can see where this is going from the start. Thank in part the Image synopsis for that, which was way too explicit this month and ruined the surprise a bit. Also, apart from the whole Cass reveal, there’s not much there that made me more curious about a character than I was before. By the way, am I the only person who completely missed the bdsm meaning and thought Cass’ mind had been absorbed and was being controlled by the two other Norns or something before checking Tumblr ? There may be hope for my soul still.

So yeah, despite not hitting me in the guts, which to be fair is notably hard to do (I’m heartless), this is a virtually flawless issue, and trying to poke holes in it would only be creating problems where there aren’t any. As usual, it’s in the details that Wicdiv accomplishes the most instead of the heavy-lifting, and everyone’s micro-expressions are a delight. Graphic and coloring touches are a joy to discover upon rereads, and while the dialogue feels a bit more heavy-handed than I previous arcs, it’s in perfect synchronization with the turn taken by the plot.

Is there room for this arc to improve from great to masterful ? Definitely. Am I still disappointed that we’re apparently going with the Great Dark plot ? Sure. But like I said last month, not being what you wanted doesn’t prevent something from being the best version of itself. Well, issue #26 is the best version of itself. It’s the perfect version of itself. So no, I’m not about to look under the hood for my own critical satisfaction. I just want to reread the issue over and over. It just works.