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ya know that clip where a trans girl is interviewing people on the street (in new york i think??) and a religious lady walks up and is like "can i pray for you" and the girl is like "uhm sure" and then the lady proceeds to give her a blessing that she's able to stay safe while educating people about love and being true to themselves. yeah no i'm crying too.
#i know this is technically bare minimum#but as someone who has been treated so harshly#so violently#by religious members#of my *family*#this clip makes me choke up everytime i think about it#protect trans women#protect trans men#protect trans kids#protect trans youth#trans rights are human rights
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"Those people believe x. We know they're wrong because y, but here's how they got to this point."
"So you think x!"
"No, I'm explaining what they think."
"You're making excuses for it and arguments that support it!"
"I'm laying out the arguments they give. I'm not making them, I'm showing them. I broke down why it's wrong and how it became a prevalent view."
"You're an x-apologist!"
Right, sorry, my mistake. Those people don't have a distorted worldview that leads them to cruelty, they're just evil by nature, their essence is darkness and violence, there's no humanity in them, go ahead and fantasize about wiping out whatever population you marked as bad. Didn't mean to interrupt your fantasy. I can see you're quite attached to it. Go on, advocate for whatever useless violence you think should happen in retaliation. I thought violence should be a horrible but sometimes-necessary tool, but it can be a goal, that's fine too. Everyone needs a dream I guess.
#riki babbles#venting#this time the conversation was about a religious community that some of my family members belong to
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pathologic fest day 19
"In the Darkness"
where nobody dwells but the earth herself
#pathologic#pathologic 2#herb brides#pathologic_fest#моросентябрь#pathologic fest#мор утопия#nonsexual nudity /#my art#i STAY herbbridesposting......... having a blast#fun fact this one's been in my WIPs for months now#and getting to finish it because it fit the theme so well.... blissful#herb brides can have a little Pythia moment... as a treat#can't believe i have to do this /!\ THIS IS NOT DIONYSOS-RELATED. THOSE ARE NOT MAENADS. THOSE ARE FICTIONAL MEMBERS#OF A FICTIONAL CENTRAL ASIAN-INSPIRED PEOPLE PARTAKING IN MOTHER-EARTH WORSHIP WITHIN A FICTIONAL#CENTRAL-ASIAN INSPIRED SPIRITUALITY. /!\#/!\ THEY WORSHIP AN ALL-MOTHER EARTH-GODDESS WHOSE PROGENY IS THE ENTIRE WORLD AND NOT A MALE GOD OF WINE PASSION THEATRE [...] /!\#/!\ THE OP HAS PERSONAL AND INTIMATE SPIRITUAL/RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AND WOULD NEVER MAKE DEVOTIONAL ART TO A MALE GOD /!\#this would be my portfolio tag if i had a portfolio [portfolio tag]
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sad update, my grandfather passed away over the weekend. my family is doing all right, we're all still processing what's happened. honestly he was so sick and far gone for a while, it's a relief to know he isn't in pain any longer.
#there isn't going to be a big ceremony#just a small memorial with the family#which i'm relieved about#big religious funeral services make me uncomfortable#a small gathering of close-knit family members feels much more meaningful
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may i have the 10 wholly unasked for paragraphs of semen retention belief lore please 🙏
Ok
MEDICAL MODEL:
The philosophical core of Wardi medical model revolves around the universe’s primal dualism- it exists in between the extremes of Sea (cold wet dark female) and Sky (hot dry bright male). These forces are sterile and stagnant when separate, God emerged at their interacting boundaries as their synthesis, capable of creation. Life itself required God’s sacrifice of Its living spirit and the shedding of Its blood, which rendered sterile earth fertile and inhabitable and kicked of the perpetual death-rebirth flow of living spirit that maintains all life. The body is a reflection of this primordial state- it is maintained by the flow of living spirit (contained in the blood), and its core matter is an interactive mixture of primordial Hot Sky and Cold Sea, Warm in balance, with male and female physically differentiated by the presence of primordial extremes- the male has Hot testes, the female has Cold womb, the interaction of these extremes allow for creation.
(I promise this will have to do with semen retention eventually.)
Blood is understood as carrying the body’s living spirit, the animating force whose proper flow maintains life and health by balancing the body’s primordial extremes. Semen is a type of blood, given Hot nature by its isolation in the testes, and also carries the living spirit. It functions as the active seed of the living spirit. It is the Hot element planted in the Cold of the womb, the mingling of these forces allow for creation, and insemination with living spirit creates a living body that can host an immortal soul. (Wardi belief describes two souls- a living spirit that animates and maintains the body and an immortal soul that houses the mind).
Male gender designation revolves almost entirely around the testes, the Hot extreme of the body where semen is (assumed to be) produced and stored. In addition to its procreative functions, the testes are an organ whose function is to masculinize and strengthen the rest of the body. Each organ requires the proper flow of healthy blood/living spirit to function properly, and thus loss of this living spirit must be performed with great care- bloodletting in offering is highly controlled, bloodletting in medicine is carefully selected and done in accordance with balancing procedure. Since testes are regulated specifically by the living spirit in semen, semen should not be discharged with reckless abandon.
SOCIAL SEXUAL NORMS:
Cultural ideals for sexual behavior revolve around moderation and self-restraint. Sexuality itself is not demonized. There is nothing wrong with nonprocreative/nonmaritial sex in of itself (unless it is adultery on the part of a woman (male adultery is ostensibly bad too but is rarely treated as gravely), or a girl losing virginity prior to marriage, or it violates a litany of gender-sexual norms), but sexual RESTRAINT is an expectation.
Having an active but controlled libido is idealized, particularly in men. A man who is an absolute paragon of ideal masculinity has a libido, but is not ruled by it. He does not masturbate and rather seeks a partner for sexual release. He usually has a wife for this, and otherwise is capable of the patience and restraint to attain a quality sexual partner rather than finding the easiest release out of desperation. His partners are suitable to proper male interest, being good looking women or pretty beardless youths (going for 'unseemly' women or older, masculine men (so long as one performs the penetrative role) is not wholly unacceptable but suggests desperation and a weak control of libido).
This is an IDEAL and not strictly enforced- very few people will think you’re a weak failure of a man for jerking off sometimes or bragging about fucking some random tail, and hiring sex workers is entirely normalized (and will only be condemned if deemed notably ‘excessive’ and disruptive to a normal patriarchal role, or truly symptomatic of being unable to get laid without paying for it). Rather, if someone is already identified as a weak or effeminate man, ‘excessive libido’ may be cited as a cause or symptom, or rhetoric to criticize them.
THE SEMEN RETENTION:
Encouragement of semen retention/regulation stems out of both of these forces. Proper masculine social/sexual behavior encourages a limitation to discharge of semen, and medical thought deems it necessary for physical masculinization. A man who does not 'excessively' lose semen via an uncontrolled libido is thought to be physically more masculine- it is assumed to directly make the testes larger since they are Storing More Cum, but also to deepen the voice, assist in the growth and maintenance of the beard, and generally enhance strength, mental acuity, and vitality. Men are regarded as innately physically and mentally stronger than women, with the medical model slapped on as one of the means of explaining patriarchal norms (in addition to spiritual concerns of pollution and metaphysical vulnerability). Regulating semen is one of many behaviors that allows a man to stay this way.
This is also an element in why 'effeminacy' in men is linked to hypersexualization- there is an assumption that men who are physically or behaviorally non-masculine have exaggerated, uncontrolled libidos. Effeminancy or ‘softness’ in men is a failure to perform a wide set of behaviors and not strictly an accusation of receiving penetrative sex, but this is often an element- a man who receives is presumed so desperate and out of control of his libido that he will submit to debasement and shame for fulfillment (an un-masculine man who cannot be a penetrative partner could at least retain his dignity by having enough self-control to abstain entirely).
Some scholars, high ranking warriors, and politicians will (at least claim to) be functionally celibate and refrain from all discharge of semen in order to function at peak performance. This total abstinence is rare and NOT culturally mandated, and is often looked on with a little snide derision as a tryhard performance. More commonly, men will attempt to live a life with a controlled libido, and may temporarily abstain from sexual activity leading up to situations that require physical and mental acuity (combat, debate, sport, etc).
Of most concern to the average day to day person is accidental loss through nocturnal emission. While this is harmless every once in a while, it is cause for concern if it occurs frequently- your body is discharging part of its living spirit completely outside of your control, you are directly weakened by this and you don’t want this happening on a regular basis. Recurrent, frequent episodes may indicate polluted blood, or outright inhabitation by evil spirits.
The only level on which semen retention tends to be actively, directly enforced is with children. Teenage boys are typically discouraged from masturbating (especially during the early stages of puberty)- retention of semen masculinizes the body, therefore will contribute to a healthy and normative puberty and should be preserved at this vulnerable time. It is considered normal to chastise and punish a pubescent boy for masturbation. This is seen as preventing him from harming his health, and to teach him to regulate desire and exercise self control, one of many facets of shaping a boy into a proper man during this critical time. This norm does not contribute to children developing lingering psychological issues AT ALL.
Wardi traditional medicine is a holistic methodology of spiritual/physical treatment, using a base system of items (foods, animal parts, herbs, metals, stones) with Hot or Cold properties and individual Essences to manage imbalances in the body and it's blood/spirit flow and dispel evil spirits. This medical system (and related subdivisions of folk medicine) is commonly used to treat nocturnal emissions, and may also be used to lower libido and/or discourage teenage masturbation. These are largely medicines with Cold properties and noted anaphrodisiac Essence. Eels are a big one- given that eels, obviously, are sexless and emerge from river mud, their bodies are anaphrodisiacs and consumption of eel meat/eel based tinctures can lower libido (this should be done with caution, as it also lowers fertility in humans and animals). Medicines may be directly applied to the penis, this does not interfere with the intended function of the testes but subdues excess lust. Phallic amulets are worn regardless of gender and have holistic nonsexual protective properties, but may also help defend against nocturnal emission. Other medicines are worn in sachets that are tied around the hips during sleep, often weighted with lead. In very severe cases (mostly associated with other dysfunction), the penis or testes may be infected with polluted blood and should be bled.
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Tangent: If the Wardi community had reddit you would occasionally see threads like "DAE eat their semen after masturbating so you don't actually lose any?" and most responses would be "no wtf" but there would be a decent number of people going "omg yes I thought I was the only one" "I mean that's kind of weird but I guess it makes sense if you really think about it" and then one very angry commenter ranting about how, No, eating your semen DOES NOT suffice as mitigation of the loss, this is why so many boys are SOFT AND EFFEMINATE these days, the men of old NEVER jacked off and NEVER ate their own cum and had MUCH FULLER BEARDS AND LARGER TESTICLES.
#I also promise I did not intentionally milk this into 10(+) paragraphs I just like to be thorough . Like you need to know how cosmological#philosophy filters down into common practices of semen retention#It should also be noted that in general when I describe these deeper philosophical models it should not be interpreted as things#that Every Member Of The Population Is Routinely Thinking About#The primordial SEA/SKY dualism has philosophical significance and directly informs the medical traditions and practices of some#priesthoods but does not factor directly and explicitly into everyday practice.#Most people's religious practice is based around active interaction with God and Its Faces (and for that matter much of the public#experiences this religion more like a pantheon than a singular monotheistic god with different aspects)#The everyday person is thinking of semen regulation as 'it keeps you healthy and masculine' and not 'it ensures flow of living spirit#through the Hot masculine element of the body and improves the health of this system'- they'll be aware of the core concepts#like blood/semen as a carrier of living spirit but not necessarily thinking about it in THIS level of detail#imperial wardin
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really taken with how Louis is the only one of his siblings without a religiously coded name. Paul as in the apostle, constantly talking about what the Lord wants and trying to guide Louis in the right direction through his preaching. Grace as in the freely given, pure love and forgiveness offered by God, the sweet sound that can save any sinner. Louis loses Paul and then he loves the Devil, forever turning his back on Grace.
#he’s surrounded by religious names actually#Jonah Macon - as in Jonah and the Whale#Levi Freiner (Grace’s man) - same first name as Moses’ great grandfather (and I’m pretty sure the name has connotations of reconciliation)#the only non-religiously named family member is his mother Florence#and she’s everything but a saint to him#I don’t think it was intentional btw they’re Black NOLA people from the 19th to early 20th c. they’re going to have biblical names#but still… interesting how it happened#(intentional from a writing perspective but who knows I might be wrong)#louis de pointe du lac#ldpdl#grace de pointe du lac#paul de pointe du lac#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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cult jokes are a symptom of and contribute to the simultaneous sensationalizing of cults (cults are all dark cloaks and animal sacrifices and devil worship and group suicide and despicable/unhinged beliefs) and diminishing of cults ("uwu come join my CULT XD we're gonna make cookies and WORSHIP SATAN teehee"), but i'm realizing how they go so hand-in-hand with the mindset of "only ~stupid/evil/crazy/etc.~ people could possibly join a cult. if it were me i would simply not fall for cult propaganda."
the diminishing part means that people don't take you seriously if you say you're an ex cult member or talk about your experiences in a cult or believe you are a current victim of a cult, because cults are just silly little groups that have weird beliefs but are otherwise innocuous. the sensationalizing part means people will also not take you seriously because if it was Actually a cult cult, that does harm and has evil beliefs, you should've known better because any reasonable person would have seen through it. the other side of "only an [xyz] person joins a cult" is "i am not an [xyz] person so i will never join a cult or be victim to propaganda and other cult tactics." the other side of "if it were me i would simply not fall for propaganda" is "someone falling for propaganda is fully a choice and a personal failing on their part." and combined they make: if you were [xyz] enough to join a cult and fall for propaganda, that means you deserved it.
people who would never make jokes about any other kind of abuse but feel perfectly fine making cult jokes used to kind of baffle me, because why is joking about personal abuse a problem but large-scale/group abuse is fine? why is it suddenly funny when you're the one that wants to perpetuate the abuse? but if your belief around cults is: "your experience wasn't that bad [diminishing], and if it was that bad [sensationalizing] it was your own fault and personal failing [i would simply not fall for propaganda], which means you deserved what you went through [only stupid/evil/crazy/etc people join cults]" and you don't understand how cults or cult tactics work, cult survivors/victims probably feel like a fair target for jokes (they are not, to be clear).
#i've been trying to write this post for days lmfao it's been stuck in my head#this is the best i've got#ex cult#ex christian#religious trauma#child indoctrination#i am normally a “language changes and evolves” girly (non-binary) but i have to insist on not contributing to this particular one#it not only harms cult victims/survivors (which is reason enough not to do so imo)#it is beneficial to cults and cult leaders that people in general do not take cults seriously#because they can both 1. abuse their current members without consequences#and 2. recruit more people that won't even realize they've been recruited#cults feed on vulnerable people#and believing you are too smart or sane or morally good or whatever else to get sucked into it#ironically makes you more vulnerable#because if you got sucked into it... it obviously can't be a cult
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Joyce staying at the cabin with Hopper and El to keep them safe bc no one in Hawkins knows they’re alive. Will, Jonathan and Argyle staying at the Wheeler's bc they have more room and presumably aren't in danger like the others.
OH WAIT there's a witch hunt for the Hellfire club, which means all the boys are in danger from the townspeople. OH WAIT the boy who came back to life has returned from the West, the same boy whose assumed death jumpstarted this small town's curse in the first place! The same boy who apparently everyone and their fathers knew was gay...
THE END IS NEAR! THE GAYS ARE RESPONSIBLE!
+ Time jump early somewhere in between.
Now picture how that would look in an 8 episode story format, leading up to a final battle lasting about 2+ hrs, and that's loosely how s5 is gonna go down.
#byler#enter satanic panic#enter religious imagery#enter small town blaming the apocalypse on two boys falling in love#NO but deadass...#I could see a gradual realization in 5x01#with them making a plan but then realizing it wont work bc townspeople are hunting down members of hellfire#the whistleblower for the hellfire club in the eyes of the town was jason#and now jason has been found dead#and before he died he told the townspeople that members of hellfire club were protecting eddie...#jason basically signed all of hellfire clubs death certificates#now that citizens are seeing real life impacts as a result of what jason said was caused by these kids playing dnd...#that they're now working for the devil himself#shit is going to get bleak af...#it could get so bleak that something horrible happens instigating a time jump early on#the duffers have said s5 is pretty quick in motion with continuing the events directly after vol 2#but then they imply that there is a shift after those first two eps...#so i think it's likely we're getting at time jump in time for 5x03#putting the rest of the season post time jump and preparing for the ultimate final battle#that is my guesstimation at this time
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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I actually think I put my finger on the thing that most bothers me about the perpetual pro vs anti Jedi discourse, which is that everybody argues for their interpretation of the Jedi as though the Jedi were a monolith. As though there were not 10,000+ of them spread across multiple temples, from many different homeworlds, with unique paths and individual connections to the Force. It doesn’t seem right to me to assert absolutes about what the Jedi code Actually Meant and whether it was too dogmatic or applied correctly by the Order or whatever when I think we can see in canon that you would get different answers about its meaning and application from the Jedi themselves, even the ones that inhabited and learned in the same temple. I feel like that’s the point of a lot of what we get shown in the prequels and TCW.
#maybe this is a freezing cold take i barely venture into this part of the sw fandom#but i think yes actually there were jedi that were too dogmatic#there were decisions the council made that were ill advised if not straight up wrong#that also has very little to do with whether the jedi as a religion or even the jedi as an institution#was Right or Wrong actually#because also i feel like this is relevant too-#equating a religious institution with a religion itself is not really correct#and judging the moral value of a whole ass religion based on the actions of individual members#or based on whether it did well in incredibly specific unprecedented historical circumstances#makes little sense#either irl or in fiction#star wars#sw#jedi order#jedi culture#star wars meta#sw meta#tcw#the clone wars#my meta#star wars prequels#prequel trilogy#prequel era#discourse
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went to a good ol fashioned catholic funeral today. haven’t been to a real funeral since my grandma died (2018) and it was very nice tbh. got to see my family friends who i don’t see as often anymore. then got french food with my dad and sister and now im a bit drunk and took the dog im watching on a nice little walk at sunset 🥰 im a bit. emotional.
#rip lolo bart!#i am Not religious but it was a nice little service and tbh a lot of what the priest said is admittedly very comforting. like i get it#(kind of. not really)#also in the car the last song we heard before the funeral was three little birds by bob marley#and the last speech done by a family member talked about the man who passed and how his#advice throughout life to his grandkids was always#‘don’t worry don’t worry. everything is gonna be alright’ and she specially#specifically*#mentioned the song three little birds#and again. i am not religious. but there was something very special about that to me#like what r the odds. gave me CHILLS!!!!#god? jungian synchronicity? nothing? who’s to say. but i Felt it.
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never getting over the fact that s4 Cas's arc is literally just a gay metaphor
#wdym he came from an uber religious family#started questioning everything after have like three conversations with one hot man#and being all like “im experiencing... emotions”#turned to a shunned family member to help navigate these questions and emotions#got caught by family and sent to 're-education camp'#and then was forced to choose between his family and the man he was falling for#crazy business#spn#supernatural#supernatural season 4#castiel#destiel#gay#queer#queer coding#love a show thatll unashamedly queer code queerbait and canonize queerness the same gay angel#deancas
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it’s awesome how jumblr coddles and encourages extremely blatant religious essentialism like this.
#*wisely* the bad religion is bad due to traits inherent to it. the good religion is good due to traits inherent to it. simple as#religious and political beliefs and practices are pretty uniform across members of a denomination i think
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welp, that’ll go down in the history of Worst vacations ever :]
#california would’ve been beautiful had i not gotten sick halfway through#and been surrounded by racist bigoted hyper-religious family members :]#oh and so many kids#the ocean was pretty tho
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i still think my best fic idea/ability idea is the first fyozai fic idea i had - not the one that ive been putting up for the polls. i wish i had the inspiration for it but </3 alas there is none
#had v heavy religious themes#reader's ability was inspired by one of the most famous chapters of one of dostoevsky's works#which was intentional bc from the start of the story to like the midway point she was pretty much just an extension of him#didnt rlly have any autonomy / desires of her own - only ever did what dostoevsky wanted#her character arc centered around meeting dazai & the ada and finding her own sense of self all the while knowing she's supposed to betray#them for dostoevsky#she was part of the doa#bc in the book by mishima - decay of the angel - the title references the 5 signs of the decay of an angel in buddhist scriptures#hence the five members#so there would still be fukuchi fyodor bram sigma and nikolai as the 5 members and#she was meant to represent the decaying angel itself
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the discussion of Garak’s childishness and malleablity has given me the funny mental image from an AU I play around with but probably will never right of like
Garakh, from a timeline where either Cardassians didn't completely conquer Hebitians or the Union crumbled during a crisis a few centuries back, his uncle had custody and raised him to be openly mixed race and follower of Oralius, probably has a chill job as a teacher and a side gig as a minor clergy member/low key counseler, looking at the other version of himself who hates himself and is neurotic like a beaten police dog on top of denying the most basic facts about himself. And realizing this bitch has the emotional maturity of one of his students
#cipher talk#Garakh has still been traumatized tbf. He still has daddy and mommy issues. But they've got nothing on Prime Garak#It goes next to-#Prime!Garak (offended by this Hebitian version of him existing and therefore implying ~disloyalty~): I am a good son of Cardassia!#Garakh (looking at his neuroses and general vibe): I'm sure you are (derogatory)#The AU is basically 'what if garak and Julian were raised by an uncle/aunt instead and didn't experience a specific trauma'#And spirals from there#So basically Garak was raised by Tolan and accepts his mixed identity and never was a member of the Order#And Jules was raised by his aunt who fled the Federation because she got sick of being harassed for being religious and was never Augmented#(His aunt is chill I need to actually use her in a fic. I've plotted fics with her and never finished them)
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