#by my fuck ass allergies
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I cannot catch a break holy fucking SHIT.
#TRYING to work on my final presentation that's due tomorrow and I can't get anything done b/c#my mind is going in like 40 different fucking directions#and then my allergies or whatever the fuck is wrong with me this time is causing my nose to be stopped up meaning I can't breathe#and that i have to stop whatever progress i'm actually making to blow my nose and I just want this shit OUT of me holy fucking shit#not to mention the stress of having a conference w/ my ex roommate tomorrow AFTER I have my presentation which'll probably be interrupted#by my fuck ass allergies#and i just. can't. FOCUS.#i can't leave my room b/c i don't want to run into anyone and i don't want to go outside b/c that'll just make my allergies even worse#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i hate it i hate it i hate it#oh and now i have a headache :3
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back on my bullshit: looking through and making edits to my doc full of Issues I Have That Haven't Ever Been Looked Into for the doctor. which may prove to be futile but i will not think to bring any of this up + will absolutely try and downplay it if i do not do this.
i still keep joking that i will hand them the papers and go "pick one and we can start there" as well as threatening to walk out if they so much as breathe the word "asthma" to me. hopefully i can actually do these things at the appointment.
and i know. i know that doctors hate it when you present possible diagnoses and that you should let them do it themselves but like. you don't understand. i have had 22 years of not having anything done when i had a health concern, to the point where i stopped even realizing that things were concerning until someone else pointed out to me that it may be a problem.
so im coming armed and prepared and if the doctor refuses to work with me like im an actual person, then i will leave and i will ask for a different doctor. rinse and repeat until i find someone who will actually help me.
#ik this is probably not the best way to do this i do i get that#but for my own sanity and the sake of actually getting things down as they ARE not as i fake#bc i am too anxious about seeming needy or useless or desperate for attention or whatever#then yeah. the doctor is getting my 8 page document of issues i have noticed i have#that have never actually been looked into by a medical professional bc military hospitals fucking suck ass#and i didn't have a choice before#(and then when i did i had too much anxiety to actually DO anything about it until now)#ough.#wish me luck for this appointment guys.#it's not for another 2 weeks or so but still#it's also a new patient appointment which. i assume means looking at current state and family history#more than any of this#but im bringing the doc anyway so they have an idea of whats going on#and again so they can choose a starting point.#breathing issues/gi issues/headaches/tinnitus/allergies#or any of the various mental health issues tho i figure those will be outsourced to someone else#since this is just general medicine lmao#but anyway. pick one and when we get somewhere with that we can do smth else#or if we get nowhere with that. whichever.#shh ac
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no cause why DOES daigo do that sassy lil hand-on-hip bit during his poundmate
#snap chats#sorry ive always acknowledged it but im obsessed with it this week ive decided due to our daigo-render posting#idk ...... its not that serious its just one of those thigns that have no right to make me giggle but still make me giggle#speaking of things that make me giggle i ordered a beach skirt from this place i havent bought from before#and they gave me The Cutest lil syringe pen and ive been obsessed with it all day#i dont have reasons to physically write down things but im going to make up a billion reasons to now#i like physically writing stuff its just more convenient to write things on my laptop ......#ohhhh my god i hate allergies jesus fucking christ i cant even sneeze#i already get this feeling with my body's weird ass twitching ok i dont need my analogy to be real this sucks#ok im working bye
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note to self never fucking take benadryl ever again
#was miserable with allergies at work and ONLY had benadryl on me. did not want to deal with not breathing and thought#“oh the drowsiness isnt THAT BAD”#its that bad. fuck me im going 2 bed at 7pm#got home from work and fell asleep for 10 minutes only to wake up with one of those FULL BODY “oh god im falling” flinches#aaughhahghghhhhh#DAY 2 OF GETTING NOTHING DONE AFTER WORK.#but we are doing better than yesterday because we're not listening to autoheart yet#ALSO???? random fucking ice cream truck in the aq parking lot today??? you bet your ass i got a cookie sandwich#and u know what it was fucking called????#BIG CHIPPER.#me when vague coincidental reference to my current hyperfix. hey vsauce gillion tidestrider here
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what if u have hanahaki but u also have hay fever
#guess i'll die dot jpeg?#beanstalks#i don't have allergies and my immune system has always been v strong#so i've always been like 'meh i'll just sleep it off'#but this time. whatever i got really is kicking my ass#i would be less grumpy if my symptoms would make some fucking sense
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almost started crying like 3 different times abt gay ppl at work today
#old lesbian coiple comes thru -> middle aged man talks abt this random new allergy his husband just developed -> young butch lesbian mother#comes through my line with the worlds silliest baby#-> old ass dude comes thru and genders me correctly and tells me the world needs me in it#-> i am found in a pile of ash on the floor in the beverage aisle#it's nice relive that first little bit of excitement abt being who i am that i felt when i was younger#god FUCK#we're everywhere and inescapable i love all of you people in my phone#good night
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i think if Vergil had dan southworth's jawline it would look perfect. hi I'm awake I feel like garbage
#allergies are kicking my fucking ASS. im congested AGAIN#its dan southworth's birthday. everyone wish vergil's va a hsppy birthday now :gun:#val.txt
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Gah
#you would THINK that making a baked good myself from scratch would be enough for my paranoid food allergy ass#to know that its SAFE and theres absolutely no reason for a PANIC ATTACK but noooooo#i keep beating it back but stuffy nose isnt helping and my panic mimics anaphylaxis so feed back loop keeps restarting#the actual likelihood of there being ANY possible danger to me from potential cross contamination is probably less than 1%#i wipe down the counters a lot i dont even know if this was put on the counter directly anyway#also theyre fricken bananas i used their insides not the outside#the likely hood of any of the outside being transfered to the inside through peeling is low due to precautions#my allergy paranoia is reaching new fucking heights#every time i think im making good progress.#(im fine if i was going to have a reaction i would have in the past 15 minutes)#liv talks#the muffins came out good in other news#not bad for a first time baking solo or for trying this recipe
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having to wait for your brain to stop wanting to cry hysterically so you can jerk off and finally be relaxed enough to go the fuck to sleep
#why cant i cry about boyfriends or makeup or whatever like this is unfixable. fuck you mean youre sad about the state of the world#wtf is u#period hormoned and diseased#gonna do against climate change?#pull yourself together and go to sleep you have notes to take tmr u weak ass emotional bitch#allergies r already making my eyes so itchy i dont need to produce salt as well im so done w myself#me soup
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Idc about Sams sexuality hcs except that the funniest possible option for me is if both he and Dean are aware theyre mlm themselves but, due to a ridiculously canon compliant comedy of errors, they each think the other would be weird about it if they came out. like not Overly Homophobic just. kind-of-but-not-fully-getting-it-ally weird.
How long this goes on for depends on whats funnier but me personally I think bi Sam has been married to Eileen for three years before it finally comes up that Deans fucking the angel. Its a whole thing.
Eileen, who'd found out exactly two years ago when she found Dean and Cas making out against the fridge and was sworn to secrecy, is having the time of her bisexual life.
[Wincesties dont even try it 🔪🔪🔪]
#alex wont shut up#spn#sam winchester#dean winchester#supernatural#destiel#plus sorry my phrasings fucked ive been knocked on my ass these last two days due to allergy meds#which is weird bc i dont even have an ass#and am now finally awake but jittery af#saileen
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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why the fuck do I have to put something above the cut now I never used to.
Anyway:
Boots on
Go out to car, grab big garbage bag.
Take inside trash and put it in the big bag. Put the big bag in the blue waste management bag. Replace liners in inside small trash.
Check under sink to see if you have contact solution.
Take big trash, wallet, keys, and phone to car. Put big trash in trunk. Drive self to Wal-Mart.
Walmart: electric kettle, possibly a ramen bowl, fun ramens because their selection beats Meijer. Look for clif bars because Meijer is down to the kids' ones which are the same price for less product which is bullshit.
Drive self to Meijer. Gas in car.
Meijer groceries: Benadryl. Contact solution if needed. Cereal. Lunchables for two more days. San Pellegrino. Clif bars if Wal-Mart is also on a shortage. Cereal bars. Chips. The futile quest for apple slices w/peanut butter that aren't close to expiring and don't look rough as hell continues. Coffee. Possibly a ramen bowl if Walmart didn't have any cheap. Maybe tea? Something fairly substantial for dinner.
Come home. Unpack groceries. Make a ramen and a hot drink. Eat food, take a half dose of benadryl. Plan to spend the rest of the day semi-useless but that's okay.
Boots on. Let's do the damn thing.
#to do list#tired as hell and the allergies are kicking my ass but let's do the damn thing#also unfortunately garbage has to stay in my trunk until tuesday because the local waste management has been fucking up schedule#and i would've gone to transfer station but i got called in on my only day off so#but we can't let garbage get any more full it's not a great solution but it's all i can do on a sunday
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Nancy Drew is the only nosy white woman I stand for
#rants n rambles#I love her#my favorite story is when her shady ass ‘friend’ tried to fucking poison a girl#by putting nuts in her cereal knowing she has a nut allergy#and her crazy ass boyfriend locked them in a cabin on a small island and set it on fire trying to kill#them but Nancy’s other friend’s boyfriend got them out bc he was a linebacker#and he tackled the shit out him when they got to the studio
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idk. picky eater rights. im coming to your events and turning my picky bitch nose up at your fancy ass desserts you spent a bajillion hours working over in the kitchen and asking if i can find like a basic ass brownie with no extra flairs or ingredients or steps or whatever the fuck. cry about it. stop trying to feed me
#toy txt post#they gotta have some picky eater bitches be the judges on those food competition shows i stg#sorry for committing the unforgivable sin of my tastebuds didnt enjoy the food you made. it was intended as a personal slight actually#i am trying to offend you for real. yeah. thats definitely whats happening. god/sssss#like god irl if i dont like food you made ill try to be fuckin gracious about it buf dont fucking get mad at me for like. idk. prepping my#own foods you percieve as worth less or whatever the fuck. ppl are so fucking weird about food.#honestly guy on prev post didnt even dislike the cake it sounded like but was just experiencing the human emotion of disappointment#when the little specific joy he was looking forward too was not what he expected. if she had asked him 'do you mind if i make a similar cake#that is not the exact same as the one you asked for? maybe he wouldve been fine cos he wouldnt have been looking forward to that specific#thing. OR maybe he wouldve said if youre not going to make this very specific one im looking forward to then dont bother i dont want you#wasting the time and effort and then she wouldnt have been mad. or maybe she wouldve. ppl do get weird about that kind of thing#maybe saying that wouldve been a crime too. guess that dumb asshole shouldve shut up and eaten his stupid cake and enjoyed it and said#nothing. a recipe for happiness#anyway. hot take ig stop putting nuts in desserts. alllergy havers will prolly thank you but you know who else will thank you?#every day i see takes about food that make me think i really should be more of a picky bitch eater on maim to knock yall pretentious#food fuckers down a peg tbh. every day i resist the urge but god how yall test me. let me be the judge on a cooking show.#weird assholes who are rude abt ppl having allergies or sensory issues: come here. im going to break you#anyway more of us picky bitches who are picky just for like. casual reasons. we should he loud picky bitches on main. if a cook or baker or#whatever can accommodate my picky bitch ass thats difficult to feed for no reason we can be sure they can accommodate allergy havers#and ppl w medical restricted diets. if they can be gracious about me just not vibing w the food then they can def be gracious about more#sensitive reasons. yea i could choke down the food i dont like probably. it wouldnt make me throw up or send me to the hospital. but why#should i? if youre an asshole to me about simply not liking your shit then why the hell would i feel safe disclosing medical info to your#bitch ass? why would i trust you to follow it? and not try to sneak some shit in bc you think you know better about food?#anyway#picky eater rights. let ppl be picky for no apparent reason. cos the ppl who have uwu Good Valid Reasons(tm) dont fucking owe you that#explanation
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homestuck fans when theres no rhyme or reason to the trickster designs and its literally just a jumbled mess of hideous colors and vague candy themes which means theres no consistency to analyze to help with making fan designs
#now imagine if you will a very distraught face. because i cant be bothered adding an image#ANYWAYSSSSSSS i wanted 2 try making one but god its just so hard bc theres so many fucking colors and i suck at coloring anyway#i tried analyzing them to the best of my abilities to see if there was any consistency i could go off of......... but no theres Nothing#the only thing is that their cheek swirls are the same color as their pestechum colors. and thats it#even the outfits are different it seems to be slightly altered versions of their original outfits?#like roxy was wearing her purple knit dress when she got bonked but it was still her original outfit afterwards#their hair colors dont make sense their shoe colors dont make sense their head ornaments make a LITTLE sense..........#jakes and dirks are the most obvious. pumpkin and orange soda its like their thing i guess#janes being a muffin makes sense cuz crockercorp baker etc etc#roxys makes the least sense...... i dont think there was ever any mention of cotton candy for her aside from when caliborn wanted his weird#smut to be color coordinated for whatever reason#whenever i make otufits its usually just varying shades of the same 3 or so colors so trickster designs are a nightmare#even my old trickster mode trollsona was like. 3 colors total LOL#not to mention i wanted to make this design for my trollsona. and we only ever saw humans in trickster mode#and looking at older fanart didnt help cuz everyone had decided unanimously that the canon designs sucked ass (they did)#and in the future we should all give each character a food or somthing similar to base the whole design off of (good decision)#blehh. i give up its too much of a pain-_-#anyway. maybe i really am sick i think i need to lay down#already slept literally all day but im still so tired..........#i took painkillers and allergy meds in case of cat hair on bed but i still feel groggy as fuck#well whatever. itll probably go away soon i never really stay sick for long
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Any temperature above fifteen degrees is insufferable.
#*fans self*#seriously though my Canuck ass can't handle anything above sweater weather#I hate spring and summer with a passion#not to mention the bugs#oh my god the fucking bugs#allergies and sweating and the sun with 99% of my clothes being black#hate it here#artschoolrambles
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