#by gays i mean all lgbt people i hope no one minds that i said it like that

[rodolfoparras]

OK imma be honest and little personal, before I knew a little bit more about the LGBT, I just didn't care I just knew they existed, now that im older and apart of it nothing changed ngl...just maybe a little rude with it. I'm like "Oh you're gay? Cool want a cookie?" Or "Oh, you think being gay is the devils or whoever you claim doing? Want a medal?". I don't mind having people like having something for them but a month? Sounds like robbery 2 me like, What about soldiers like I mean the good soldiers who actually fight for their people? I'm sorry, but if I could, I would make certain... things like these two have at least a week, but like I said, I don't mind it... I just find it... wrong in a way...like think about it...when something big happens in your life (if yall do it like me) we just celebrate it in like that first week, like what I mean is for the first few days it's all "WOOHOO THIS HAPPEND TOO YOU" then the rest of the week it's just "congrats". Like I remember a few years back, I'm not sure if it's still the same now. But soldiers die every day and stuff, and all they get is a day, and everyone like "poor soliders rest in peace" and then go on about their lives after a few bours or something . But the moment a Trans person got killed, suddenly everyone dropped everything and talked about it for weeks....trying not to sound harsh, but come on....

Sugar I think you have a lot of inner work to do

Pride month cannot be boiled down to a celebratory party of sexualities and genders

While yes a major part of pride month is to celebrate lgbtq people it’s also about remembering the journey as to how we got here, plenty of people literally laid their lives down so there could be a celebration in the first place sugar I don’t know if you know this but trans people would literally use bricks and drop it onto their genitals or their chest to get rid of those parts, a lot of trans people died of cancer and other terminal illnesses because it was considered shameful to treat an openly trans person no matter what severe condition they had it’s also to raise awareness of how lgbtq people of color made a lot of things possible for us, did you know that before colonization native people had woman man and then a third gender that didn’t fall in either category white, Christian cis people wiped that out because it was considered abnormal and now today we have a whole chunk of people who are seen as abnormal because that whole gender identity has been wiped out pride month is to also raise awareness to everyone who can’t live their lives like they want to. It’s like international women’s day just because women in Europe have it good doesn’t mean that it’s fine and dandy all around the world

The reason as to why people don’t care much for soldiers is that the only ones discussed are American ones- soldiers belonging to armys who have more or less started the war in different places. Never have I seen people discuss the 10.000 soldiers that died in the srebrenica genocide - soldiers- boys 18 year old boys 10.000 of them- that had to forcefully enlist in the army because their country was going through a genocide

And the reason as to why trans people get so much coverage once they get killed is the same reason as to why women get so much coverage when they get horrifically murdered by a man they’re oppressed, soldiers are not oppressed soldier more often than not are the oppressors.

With that being said I do hope you take time to actually do research on your history because the reason as to why you can be like “woo I’m gay ok let’s move on with my day” is because of thousands upon thousands upon thousands lgbtq ppl that made sacrifices for you those sacrifices didn’t happen that long ago

[hellrices]

Menendez Brothers Case

Ok I just want to touch on the topic of the MONSTERS show once again to just say fuck Ryan Murphy, I mean holy shit. Not only does he portray an actual real-life case incredibly inaccurately, but this is what he had to say when the ACTUAL Erik Menendez called him out on it

How much of a shithead do you have to be to first of all, take an actual case where the people involving it are still alive and well, and turn into some incestual, aggressive drama fantasy of your own and when the people that the case concerns TELL you that it's full of lies, you come out saying they're just "playing the victim" and should be sending you flowers??? Disgusting. And the fact that the show (especially the actor who plays Lyle - Nicholas Chavez) is encouraging people to dress up as Erik and Lyle for Halloween is sickening. These are actual people and this was an actual case regarding the murder of two incredibly wealthy individuals and the abuse that they inflicted on their children. It is not to be treated like the latest Halloween trend.

Now concerning the actual case, I realised the more I researched about it, the angrier it made me so I just need to rant about it right now (My last post was mostly regarding the trial sessions but I really can't stop thinking about the actual abuse they'd suffered throughout their home life.) I have to say though, it's absolutely disgusting and appalling that an ACTUAL statement that was made by the prosecution (Pam Bozanich) was that "Men cannot be raped as they lack the necessary equipment to be raped." Along with an outrageous insistence that any type of sex that occurred between Jose and his children was not forced which is absolutely untrue - Lyle mentioned that Erik had it so bad that he considered his brother to be a suicide risk and Erik himself admitted to having suicidal desires and terrible coping methods. He would wait till he was home alone to scream till he was trembling and stick pins, needles and tacks into his thighs just to feel the pain and often dissociate as he was being assaulted. Erik also said that he, at a very young age, created a persona for himself. "The Hurt Man", to try and separate himself from the situation when his father would take advantage of him. He would use this nickname for himself in his mind all the time and the only purpose of this 'hurt man' was to get hurt. He felt that he was protecting his mother and family by getting hurt in place of them. (Which honestly, breaks my heart. To imagine he was under 10 years old when all of this was happening makes me sick to my stomach.)  Erik also often questioned his sexuality because of the continuous assault that took place and his father who was the one to rape him, went around calling him slurs and spewing homophobia towards him. (Which I mean, holy shit- how can you ASSAULT your own child to the point where he drowns his food in lemon during every meal in hopes of distorting his sense of taste so it would be less painful during the rape and turn around and make fun of him for "being gay" (Erik was not gay by the way but is increasingly supportive of the LGBT community)) Even to find out that both the brothers thought they were protecting their mother by enduring all this abuse at the hands of their father instead of her - only to find out that she had known the whole time??? I can't imagine the despair at finding out that your own mother didn't give a shit about your father having raped you for 12+ years. Both brothers said that in that moment, they saw both their parents as the same person and couldn't differentiate them in their minds. It's heartbreaking knowing both boys absolutely loved doting on their mother just because she was less abusive than their father. But the fact of the matter is that she was a horrible mother. She would drink all day, starting about every afternoon and had mental breaks very often where she would scream, flail her arms about, throw things at anyone near her and completely ignored everything Jose was subjecting the boys to. Lyle also testified that she would sexually assault him as a child (As far as I'm aware, she didn't do the same with Erik). Both parents would beat their kids and left no room for privacy, often snooping through Erik's journals and being intensely intrusive and controlling.

Here are SOME incidents of abuse (not sexual in nature) which really show how their parents would go OUT of their way to make sure all their kids lives were a living hell  (Keep in mind, this is not including all the times they brothers would be beaten up by their parents) : - Whenever he spotted a ditch or cliff on the side of the road, Jose would drive towards it and put his knees on the steering wheel and put his hands up, seeing how long it would take for Erik to grab the steering wheel and turn it away from the ditch/cliff as a way to measure Erik's bravery (The longer Erik would sit with the car going towards the ditch/cliff, the braver Jose considered him to be) -Erik confided in his mother about his fear of the dark and monsters hiding in his room. In response his mother locked him in the basement while his father tormented him from inside it and left witch masks in his closet to scare him further at night - Lyle's girlfriend told him that she was pregnant but later told him that she lied and she had never been pregnant at all (they broke up afterwards) After a confrontation with his father, Lyle found out that his father paid off his girlfriend to get an abortion and lie to him about it. - Both boys (aged 4 and around 6 at the time) were often abandoned in malls and airports. -Jose's mother was a famous swimmer who was showcased in Cuba's sports hall of fame. In order to force his children to follow in those footsteps in terms of sports, he would force and hold Erik's head underwater to "expand his lungs". Essentially fucking drowning him. -Lyle once brought a bunny home as part of a school program in the second grade and named it "Flower". His mother told him to get rid of the bunny but he couldn't return it since summer break had just started. Later, Lyle found the bunny beaten to death, covered in flies in the trash can outside their house. (Jose had beaten the bunny with his bare hands and thrown it away) - Kitty once left an incredibly sick 9 year old Erik home alone while she went shopping for 5 hours. -During an argument 5 days before the murder, Kitty ripped off Lyle's hairpiece (He had started experiencing immense hair loss at age 14 and needed a toupee to cover it up). This was, as Lyle testifies, incredibly embarrassing (Erik was not aware his brother had this) and painful (the hair piece was only supposed to be removed using some sort of solvent). Lyle said his head immediately become extremely red and swollen and he felt completely humiliated, running off to reattach it after getting it back from his mother - A year before the murder, Kitty brought Erik along with her to buy a gun. Upon asking why she needed to buy that, Kitty told her son that she was "going to kill someone." Erik was incredibly unsettled put-off by the conversation and didn't ask any more questions. (Mind you, Kitty was heavily medicated at this time, taking around 13-15 pills a day) The new evidence : This is a recently discovered piece of evidence which may lead to the brothers' early release/ shorter sentence. Andy Cano (a cousin) had been brought in to give a testimony during the trial and he supported the claims that Erik and Lyle had been sexually abused, stating that Erik once told him about it, asking if it was normal for fathers to do that. Andy, who had no present father in his life, was unable to answer him (Mind you, both the boys were extremely young at the time so Andy wasn't aware that an adult should've been informed). His testimony was thought to be just a lie and was thrown aside - years later Andy died of overdose, his mother Marta said he never recovered from the guilt of not being able to help the brothers. This is part of the letter that was written by Erik to Andy that supports the claims that they were sexually abused :

[Erik is referring to his mother] "At times, I wish I could talk to her about things , you know? Some day... Especially dad and I but the way she worships him and tells him everything. I [am] so afraid she'll tell him whatever I say. I just can't risk it. Lyle got in a huge fight with her about why we couldn't spend Christmas with the rest of the family and mom freaked out and said if he wanted to go he could go alone. I just don't know why she wants to hurt him like that. Lyle wanted to stay but dad wouldn't let him. So now I'm stuck here alone. I've been trying to avoid dad. It's still happening Andy but it's worse for me now. I can't explain it. He [is] so overweight that I can't stand to see him. I never know when it's going to happen and it's driving me crazy. Every night, I stay up thinking he might come in. I need to put it out of my mind. I know what you said before but I'm afraid. You don't know dad like I do. He's crazy! He's warned me a hundred times about telling anyone. Especially Lyle. Am I serious whimpus? I don't know I'll make it through this. I can handle it, Andy. I need to stop thinking about it."

[waitmyturtles]

hello! I hope you are having a good day :) I just read your blog piece about tharntype, thank you for writing it! I want to offer a few complicating thoughts, as a queer person myself:

-in the twittersphere, I actually know a lot of other queer people (and, specifically, queer men) who like tharntype in a kink way. as in, the parts that make it "problematic" are the parts that are hot. so this "reading" of TT (lol) sees it as erotic art intended to arouse, rather than offer "representation" or change the public's mind in some way. so from this perspective, the target audience is anyone who finds the erotic story enjoyable, rather than say, random 14 year olds who need to be convinced gay people are human.

-more on the above: gay people aren't unproblematic. like, we do engage in all the things that you said were problematic stereotypes included in tharntype. many gay men are homophobic in the exact way type is, before they admit it to themselves. that's a whole genre of gay porn, because it's such a common part of the gay experience that it enters sexual fantasy frequently! gay people call each other slurs all the time, too (not saying it's right for anyone to be spoken to like type did, I'm just saying, for a lot of us there's a lot of humor and love there when it's spoken kindly). many gay men ARE promiscuous (not all, obviously, but many) and the way in which they are is shaped by their gayness, and while straight world might think that's bad, other gay people might not see it as such. and I very much get how that's very inconvenient when one is trying to argue that gay people aren't sex perverts (so we can have rights) but sometimes what ends up happening is that people who ARE sex perverts (I mean this in a positive way) get told that their lives don't matter, or that even depicting them in fiction "makes you all look bad." it's the usual assimilation problem :/

-I really really really recommend diary of tootsies for a show by gay people for gay and straight people. it's one of my all-time favorite gay dramas, and it might elaborate more on what I'm saying above. it's a gay comedy that's actually executed well.

-it's actually not true that yaoi has only ever been dominated by cishet women! I love this website for more info on how men and nonbinary people have been involved in yaoi historically https://www.fujoshi.info/ . totally true that treating real people like dolls is gross to do in real life, but I don't think women writing yaoi have done that, on the whole, and I certainly don't think the existence of yaoi does that automatically. and I think it's a case of unfair maligning of asian women to say that it does.

-I don't think tharntype is a "good" show. nothing like, say, moonlight chicken (as an example of a show that I think is very good). it's very poorly executed in places. it's trashy. the way it's been marketed, with tharn and type as like, political gay rep, is bizarre. but it's a cheap, trashy snack, a gay bodice ripper type of story, and so I don't think that's a hate crime, or a failing of lgbt people, on the whole.

I know as an ally it is always difficult when there is disagreement in the group you are trying to be an ally to regarding what is acceptable/offensive, but I feel the best thing to do is always to come to a personal opinion oneself that aligns with one's own moral values, after hearing from differing perspectives within that group. So I've provided my own perspective here, which may be totally different than other people you've heard from or your own, and that's okay too! again, hope you have a great day and thanks for your time :)

ANONYMOUS, COME 'ERE FOR A HUG, YOU! THANK YOU for sharing your perspective.

Yes, this show and the related topics are unbelievably difficult for me to write on as an ally. I really appreciate your understanding of the gray areas all around this, and with the help of a number of Tumblr friends, I tried to dive into and balance as much of the gray areas of the topic of TT as much as possible.

I really appreciate the further history on yaoi's origins, and would like to tag some folks to take a look and offer their thoughts -- and, I do not take corrections personally AT ALL, I LOVE LOVE the learning and constructive criticism (that's a major point of the OGMMTVC!), so I WILL be happy to edit any corrections into my posts if need be (cc @nieves-de-sugui, @miscellar, @lurkingshan and anyone else who knows more about yaoi than I do).

I'm getting one or two nasty comments here and there, but by and large, the feedback today on the post has been thought-provoking and eye-opening. I love hearing and reading all of it.

[ratguy-nico]

I read this today and many thoughts came to mind so yeah this is another rambling.

'til this day I don't get over the fact that only last year we had the Last Season of The Owl House, the rushed end of one of the greatest series of the decade, that could have mark a new course for many series yet to come, the spiritual successor of another of the greatest series of all Gravity Falls.

The Owl House was released in 2020 just four years ago and it was cancelled in 2022, two years ago, presumable cause it had too much representation for Disney's taste.

This is obviousley not confirm, but everyone in the industry and Dana Terrace herself had made clear that this was the main reason.

All this just 2 years ago, many like to say we live in a time were LGBT+ community had all the representation they need, that everything is gay now days and and that this excess of representation is becoming tedious. And then this is a case from fucking 2 years ago.

It just so sickening, to think that yeah we have representation nowdays but it has to be a certain tipe of rep, it can not be too much, in the Owl House I think there was just one straight couple in the main cast, it has not to be too on the nose, gods forbid for the main character to be gay, lesbian, bi or the non existent trans representation, and it cannot be normal, if you are gay it has to be your main trait, your whole life, you have to have like many crisis as you can and have a whole out of the closet episode, it has to be the revelation of the century.

I still remeber Alex Hirsch puteando a Disney cause they didn't let him do many things he wanted with his own serie, among them the relationship betweenm the two town sheriffs, one of the cutest things in the show, and very funny too.

Alex Hirsch has always been very vocal about he's own despite for Disney as a creator that work for them. And thats why I love him.

I still remeber cartoon network forbidding Rebecca Sugar to say that the Gems were womans, cause that would imply that all the gems were lesbians and that was a totally No No for fricking Cartoon Network, the one everyone point when saying is only Disney the non inclusive one.

(why they never bring this back? what is wrong with Steven Universe?)

Though this end like a tiro en la culata which means backfire cause suddenly the gems were non binary or no gender which was fricking funny cause even more hard to explain XD

This also happened with Adventure Time, another Cartoon serie, were everyone was lost whith the Bublegum and Marcy kiss in the last episode, cause we were told they had a relationship in fricking Season 3 but no, they didn't tell explicitly that they were in a romantic relationship, cause you know... lesbian equal bad.

Their relationship keep getting explore and we had amazing episodes with this two navigating their feelings for each other, the past mistakes in their relationship and how to become better together. But all this while not telling us that they love each other, cause they weren't allow to tell us.

This is merely frustration on my part, I know we have better represantation nowdays, but... is not nearly enough, like I said, theres still close to non rep for ace or trans people, bisexual are getting better, though the rep still is plagued of horrible stereotype and fetization, but this is something lesbian and gays can have manage to avoid yet so what we expect.

So yeah we should celebrate our representation, and not let anyone tell us that is enough or too much, cause til this day the best ace representation I have seen comes from Todd from Bojack Horseman a serie from 2014 that ended in 2020, that set the bar and none had even try to fight, I hope Alastor become a better rep in this front, I really hope so. Lilith made an absolute great work, but sadley cause the serie was cut out we missed a lot of this character T^T

And Im not gonna talk about trans rep cause that's just sad.

I will always hold resentment to Disney cause of what they did to the Owl House, for sure, that something I hold near my heart everyday.

So yeah I totally use this persons post to talk about me me me, and I dont know them so prefer not to involve them in this.

And if you dont notice I keep this Animation Series only, cause theres too many series and I have not watch nearly enough, I know thers some with really good rep and others that are lit hot shit. So yeah the world is wild and full of shit.

Adventure Time 2010-2018

Gravity Falls 2012-2016

Steven Universe 2013-2019

Bojack Horseman 2014-2020

The Owl House 2020-2023

[pokemenlovingmen]

A mlm pokeimagines blog? In this economy? God where have you been all my life.

Apologies in advance if its a long ask lol

Seriously though you would not believe how happy I got when I saw this blog pop up! Barely any mlm reader stuff so finding you got my lil poke men loving heart all excited!

If requests are open I was wondering if you could do Emmets reaction to a male reader who loves the fact that Emmet is so blunt? I've seen some stuff like this in the past were reader loves Emmet DESPITE him being so blunt but I love him because of it!! I find it useful and charming!! I have a hard time understanding most people because I'm bad at picking up subtext and stuff in conversation so characters like Emmet that are just blunt and honest are always appreciated!

Also, claiming 🐗 boar anon in advance lol

Hi hi boar anon!!! I’m glad you like my blog so much! I literally made it bc I couldn’t find enough male reader content, and as a trans guy that gendered language is really affirming to me. Also not being courageous enough to get into a relationship with real human people lmao I gotta be gay somehow!! Literally all of you who’ve come to visit me on this blog are so sweet. I changed the blog description up for a reason, it really does feel like I’ve invited a bunch of funny gay guys into my living room and we’re all sitting in a circle whispering about boys. Doing this makes me feel so stupidly comfortable in my own skin and so much like a part of the LGBT community when I’ve had to stand on the sidelines most of my life, I just can’t explain how stupidly therapeutic writing imagines for fictional men from a fictional monster battling game is LMFAOOO

And we’re always here for supporting the autism shit lol, you can pry my autistic submas out of my cold dead hands, my submas will always be pretty heavily headcanoned and a post appreciating those verrry autistic coded traits is a huge win for me :) Emmet deserves to be loved for just being Emmet

Straight (Gay) to the Point— Emmet x Male Reader

⚪️ — Emmet and Ingo have grown up with a lot to be self conscious about, from their appearances to the behavioral quirks they share and the quirks they don’t. Kids can be cruel when you’re neurodivergent so different. So when you get together with Emmet and he comes to realize you LIKE his speaking patterns, he’s floored.

⚪️ — Emmet has always had a lot to say, but he’s quite bad at phrasing things. Compared to his brother who is a constant stream of consciousness, just prattling on about anything and everything that crosses his mind once you get him into conversation, Emmet needs to carefully plan out each word and it never comes out how he wants. Sometimes it feels like with his more approachable appearance (even if some call it creepy) and Ingo’s ability to talk (even if some say he rambles too much), they’re just two halves of one fully functional person. But you like him. Not his brother. Not him and his brother. You like him. How crazy is that?

⚪️ — He doesn’t have time to waste on careful wording. Do that, and he’d be plotting his course of conversation for ages. And he’s rather aware of that fact, so one day, he offhandedly mentions that he’s sorry his bluntness can be so off-putting, and he really hopes he hasn’t said anything to offend you.

⚪️ — Imagine his surprise when you said the contrary! When he heard you liked him because he said exactly what he meant, and he was always so clear-cut and easy to understand, it was like a fuse blew in him. Growing up, he’d always heard the opposite, and while Ingo never criticized him for it, plenty of other people did call him out for being rude when he didn’t mean to be.

⚪️ — He feels verrrry comfortable in conversation with you, yes indeed. Your sense of communication with one another is very strong and any conflict gets resolved very quickly. Emmet is happy to just talk with you and not have to pretend to have conversational skills he doesn’t have. You like him, his brother likes him, that’s all that matters.

⚪️ — He wants to talk with challengers on the Battle Subway more freely, so he’ll often come to you about the best ways to translate the things he wants to say into more “socially acceptable” ways of saying them. Of course, he’s also fully aware that he can come to you and not need to jump through all those hoops.

⚪️ — Since he’s so comfortable with you, he’ll say just about anything to you or around you and knows he can say things to you that will make you laugh, while others would just shush him for it.

⚪️ — After all, nothing makes you laugh quite as hard as sitting on your bed only to hear “OH DEAR! THE GALVANTULAS ARE MATING ON THE SOFA!” from across the apartment. Like cool Emmet, you definitely did NOT need to hear that—also please make them stop??—but that got the best laugh out of you you’ve had in a while.

⚪️ — He’s genuinely just so funny without trying. Another iconic moment you can recall is when, on a Friday night, a particularly inebriated woman was getting a bit too comfy with Emmet, which he was oblivious to at first, too preoccupied with the joy of battling. When you did tell him, though, you ended up laughing your ass off as he gasped and ran off with great urgency to apologize to the woman, as he was unable to reciprocate her advances due to both being taken and, I quote, “a homosexual”.

⚪️ — You’ve definitely made him a lot more comfortable, even in public situations, which he doesn’t seem to realize. The Battle Subway staff has regularly mentioned Boss Emmet has been way chattier than he used to be (which still doesn’t mean anything dramatic, but it’s a big step to him and that’s all it needs to be!) And anyone who has a problem with Emmet’s mannerisms can answer to you.

⚪️ — You’re more than just Emmet’s boyfriend, you gel perfectly into his family. And granted, that family is only Ingo, both of their Pokemon teams and Elesa ever since she basically adopted them, but it’s perfect anyway. It’s not like Emmet has been telling his brother about how much he wants to marry you eventually or anything.

⚪️ — You have literally so many Joltik grandchildren already.

⚪️ — Since both of you can struggle with reading other people, you often put your heads together to try and figure things out. (If it’s anything like the attempts at two neurodivergent people trying to use their combined knowledge to socially navigate that I’ve been a part of, it probably accomplishes nothing, but at least you can both relate to each other’s struggles and have a good laugh about it at the end of the day.)

⚪️ — He acts like a little kid with a crush around you and when he’s not working, he follows you around like a lost puppy.

⚪️ — He also knows that when he’s specifically feeling insecure about his mannerisms, he can lean on you for comfort, because you unashamedly love that about him. All of it. One night, after a particularly rough day, you remember him cuddling up to you and getting teary-eyed about how much you love him.

⚪️ — Please stay in his life, okay?

[ayaisokay]

Tgirl Moans about Labels

Despite the title, I'm going to be moaning about microlabels (and briefly, pansexuality); however, you should be aware that I DO NOT think less of people that use obscure neo pronouns or labels.

Why we use labels

Labels like "gay" and "straight" indicate the scope of your attraction. Homosexual & Homo romantic create a distinction that clarifies the nature of your attraction. They help adequately and simply communicate who we are while also allowing people of our likeness to realise there's others like them— the inclusive element.

How do microlabels get in the way

If you ask me, some microlabels border on hyper specific obscurity that either communicates information that isn't necessary (from the outside looking in), or the information that is supplementary and better falls under "your type" or personality traits.

As an example, I have a friend that was looking for a label that encompasses them, as a bi person that only liked feminine expressing (not indentifying) people. Why does that need a label? That is deadass just your type. You like girly girls and femboys.

If we make hyper-specific labels for every aspect of ourselves, we will struggle to fit in anywhere because our label becomes far more individualistic than inclusive— it gets isolating in a way.

Moreover, people change. Your hyper-specific label might be invalidated by a single event that alters the way you think and feel. Then, you're stuck trying to find or craft a whole new obscure label.

When you finally figure that out, you gotta hope and pray people discover it, recognise it, understand it, and use it.

Pansexual's take on pan

I used to identity as pansexual but decided it didn't feel quite right. Not because of me, but because of the identity itself. But why?

Pan does whatever the plot requires

I liken pansexuality to a poorly explained fictional power. The scope and nature is never outlined by the story, so to the reader, the power seems to work (and fails to work) whenever it is convenient for the plot.

Pansexuality isn't a grounded label that every member of the community views the same way— to a worse extent than terms like Gay or Lesbian (more on that later).

In high school, lgbt friends described pan as being "bi with extra steps." Others have claimed pan is just bi with a minor somantic difference. Some people say that pan is just being bi but also being inclusive for trans people. From my understanding, pansexuality was an attraction not based on sex/gender. Personally, I think that idea makes pan more of a microlabel than a sexuality.

With that last concept of pan, it doesn't actually communicate a sexuality (i.e, who and how you're attracted to someone (or not in the case of asexuals)). Instead, it communicates details about the sexuality. It's like if I asked you who your friend is, and you told me that they play Pokémon. It's nice to know that detail ABOUT them, but that doesn't tell me WHO they are.

Based on the aforementioned idea of pan. You could theoretically be sexually/romantically available for members of all sexes, or a singular sex. But, just saying "I'm pan" fails to communicate which is the case.

Gay and Lesbian

When I was growing up, Gay and Lesbian fell under "homosexual." An attraction to the same-sex. Personally, I prefer the idea that it denotes attraction to the same gender. But, that's the newer take.

As a trans girl, I don't think it's fair to tell an older lesbian she's transphobic for claiming her lesbian status as a reason not to date a trans woman— why? Because, to her knowledge, that's NOT what the label means.

In that kinda situation no one is right. The use of the labels isn't actually universal and that creates in-fighting and division.

If you ask me, the entire damn system needs to reworked.. and no I did not write this entire thing with nothing in mind.

Where is your system

As I said, I do have something in mind.

THEN SHOW ME

but, I'd like to see if this post gets me slandered or something crazy first 🥲

[inukag]

Hello, so I'm not heterosexual (I'm ace) and as you can tell I do like one of those ships in the poll. I thought your language was very harmful. Now, I'm not here to say those characters are nice people but that doesn't mean their fans like them because they are "hetero" and just like a hot guy. They are good characters and had cool dynamics with Kagome (yes that's subjective and you might disagree with it but some people did enjoy it). I do agree that Sango should have been on the poll but there are legit reasons people enjoy darker ships or enemies to lovers trope, they can be engaging to some. So to dismiss it as just "hetero girls liking a hot guy" is very bad. The reason I'm sending you this ask is because I think you are a good person and might recieve well my comment. I considered sending an anon but I wanted you to "see" me as we talk and I hope I don't get any harassment over this from others. Anyway, thank you for reading.

First of all thank you for sending this message non-anonymously! I know it can be stressful but it is definitely better for discussions. If I see anyone sending you hate over this I will fight them personally.

When I said “this fandom is painfully straight” I did not mean “every single person who likes these ships is straight”, that would be ridiculous. But it IS a straight ship. My point is that gay ships are almost never taken seriously in this fandom, as shown by the fact that people ship Kagome with all the male characters she canonically doesn’t like before shipping her with girls that she actually likes. I find that sad. Literally the only gay ship in this fandom that has a sizable fanbase is Inu/sess, but that’s another can of worms.

I’m not here to change anyone’s mind about sess/kag or kog/kag, I’m very much a ‘ship and let ship’ person. Those ships have existed for years so I know very well that me saying “Kagome Higurashi would never canonically love these guys” is not going to change anyone’s mind. So I’ll spare you the whole rant but I’ll say that I’ve read some sess/kag stuff (Raindrops and other fanfics I found years ago) and I’ve never seen Sesshomaru portrayed as anything other than a kind, suave, gentleman who saves Kagome from Inuyasha the toxic, two timer. His canonical racism and lack of empathy for others is gone. So I have a hard time believing people when they tell me they love the ship because it’s a “sexy villain/heroine, enemies to lovers ships” lol. Anyway like I said, I’m not going to change your mind and you won’t change mine, so no need to argue about this.

Also for added context regarding the “gay ships aren’t taken seriously” issue, a couple weeks ago a bunch of people on Twitter (inukag shippers) made tweets saying they were “disgusted” by the fact that many people headcanon Moroha to be a lesbian. That her blushing at and complimenting girls is “not evidence that she’s gay” and that the “real canon” is that she will end up with Koga’s son (who doesn’t even exists in any Inuyasha media!!!). It’s not an isolated issue with Sesshomaru or Koga fans, as I pointed out the people doing this were inukag shippers and they were called out by other inukag shippers. This fandom as a whole is just not the most friendly when it comes to lgbt+ stuff.

So yeah, I have nothing else to add. I don’t see how my language was harmful if I’m being honest. Regardless of people’s own sexual/romantic orientations this fandom mostly talk about and support straight ships. This isn’t really a call to action either, I’m not telling people what to ship, I was just jokingly pointing that out and hoping that next time people would just consider the fact that gay ships exists as well.

Thanks again for the message and I’ll take this time to remind everyone following me that I use the tag #<ship/character>-critical tag when I criticize stuff, so you can blacklist that if you follow me and don’t want to see negativity about characters or ships that you love. I didn’t tag my first reblog of the poll so that’s my bad, I’ll go back and fix that.

[steviesbicrisis]

"if we don't like it, we make it gay" that isn't the point, though. so many other people have said this more eloquently than i can, but you can't claim "death to the author" when the author is alive and actively lobbying for the genocide of trans people in the uk and influencing (and funding, iirc) republican politicians in the states to do the same thing. if you say "fuck terfs" but then continue to engage with the franchise and ignore the multitudes of jewish and lgbt+ people telling you the reasons why you shouldn't, the reasons why this franchise is literally killing us, your trans and jewish friends/followers are going to be cautious of you. *i'm* cautious of you, now. you're not only supporting a terf by giving her engagement, but jkr is a fascist. i can't assume your response to this, and this isn't sent out of malice, but i hope you can ask yourself if a book series and nostalgia are more important than the real people being affected by the political career of its creator.

I'm going to answer this as best as possible, but please be mindful that English isn't my first language, so I might not be as eloquent or exhaustive as I could've been in my native language.

Leaving this premise aside, I say this with no malice nor desire to sound bitter/defensive: please take a step back and stop assuming stuff about me.

I don't even know where half of the things you said come from, I genuinely thought you sent this ask to the wrong person until I read the "fuck terfs" part.

"continue to engage with the franchise" how am I doing this? I have 1 word associated with it, that's it. Do you see me promoting the books or the movies? do I reblog stuff about the franchise? Do I go around showing anything related to this? I've stopped giving money to that author the moment I found out what she stands for. I have one post related to the franchise before I knew how big of a deal it was to make fan-related content (I thought it was okay to still go on with stuff she doesn't get money from), which I decided to not continue writing it the moment I understood it might've been hurtful to someone.

You also assume I don't listen to fellow friends/followers. The thing is, you don't know me, this is Tumblr, I do not show everything about me in my blog. I have lgbtq sources I go to inform myself on how to approach topics that interest the community but not me personally because I wanna be supportive. You also have to understand that I get my information mainly from Italian resources and the approach on the topic might be different. This is not me speaking for the Italian trans community, obviously, but they seem to not really care if you engage with fanmade content, while I see in the "internet world" trans creators who don't accept fanmade as well and some do. I simply don't know where I stand but in the meantime, I'm not engaging even with fanmade stuff just to be safe.

All of this to say, I have no problem admitting that I don't know what I should do about fan-made related content because I tried to understand but with the mixed up opinions I simply don't know. Me not knowing translates to me engaging with any content until I understand better.

I'm trying really hard to not see malice in your words to be honest, since you've been assuming so much stuff about me. Everything else you touched upon it doesn't apply to me (like having nostalgia about the books, I never once said anything like that).

All of this being said, I am sorry to know that people are cautious about me. I hope you can understand that this blog is supposed to be a happy place to talk about Stranger Things and have a nice break from chaotic everyday life and I'm really saddened to know that it isn't as lighthearted as I thought.

To the people who were disappointed/had hard feelings after reading my bio, I am sorry. I mean it, I would never write something anywhere with the intention of hurting everyone.

To anyone who reads this, I hope you don't see me in a bad light after what this anon wrote and my response, I'm trying to handle this situation the best I can and be mindful of everyone's feelings. I am far from perfect but I am trying.

(I'm leaving the bio as it is if people wanna check it out after reading this but I'm going to change it after a little while.)

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Coming out story time, Γρεεκ edition. With a plot twist. Sorry for the long ass rant I just didn't know who else to tell my story who would get both the Greek Thinking TM and also be accepting of queer ppl.

Apologies for crude language (i think)?? I cannot describe it in a way that's as eloquent and beautiful as I want.

A. Μαμά.

I came out to my mother descriptively, because I knew if I said a Big Gay Word she'd instantly connect it to what she associates with Gay stuff, and I wanted to get her honest reaction, not what she thinks her reaction should be. And also because I Do Not Know what exactly I am (out of the whole LGBT alphabet, I could be Gay/Les, I could be Bi, I could maybe sort of kinda be trans but I do identify with womanhood in the Greek TM way so I don't think I can call myself NB? Anyway whatever, labels don't matter to me and only make me feel weird when applied to me), so there's that.

Specifically I said "Ma, I'm not only attracted to boys." Because that's the best I can describe my hauntingly persistent bisexuality as haha.

After the initial confusion, the first question she asked was "so you'd want to have sex with a woman?" A question I chose not to answer, one because Μαμά τι στο καλό θες να σου πω τώρα :/ and also because the answer is neither no or yes. It goes beyond just Mm Yes Pussy Nice for me. Reducing it to just that is making my skin crawl just as much as Mm Yes Dick Nice. That's dehumanising for me, I'm sorry. :/ My answer was literally "δεν ξέρω/δεν απαντώ" lmao.

And?? She may have accidentally come out to me too??? Without realising it?????

Because she said three things:

1. "Oh, when I was at your age I went through this phase as well." Which??????????? What does it mean if not the think I'm thinking of??? Ma have you really been in denial/the closet for 50 years?

2. "I was fiercely defensive of gay people when I was younger." Which, YES. As you should μαμά. Only it has created this haunting fear in me that in 30 years time, with "experience", I'll change too and I'll go against my gay brothers and sisters as Ορθοδοξία seems to want. Which I won't. I hope. I can only hope my heart won't change, even if I marry a guy and go ahead and have children of my own. Like... it doesn't make sense, HOW did she change her mind in the first place??? How does that happen to someone? Will it happen to me too?

3. "It's okay, I love you for who you are." In the end, all is good. Even if she thinks she's a phase that I'll grow out of, and probably would not allow me to think about dating/settling with another woman, she's not cutting me out of the will! She still loves me!! It's a win for me. :D

Also she approves of cute gender neutral nicknames because she's always called me that. Like: το ζουζουνάκι, το μαρουδάκι (εννοώντας πασχαλίτσα🐞), το κουφετάκι, κτλ.

I really love her little habits I'm sorry. :')

B. Αδερφούλα

I'll keep it brief because there's not as much to say. She's younger than me so she used to have a very much "oh ew wtf" reaction.

But recently?? She's been treating it like an inside joke??? Like, refering to me as "το τέρας" ή "το αρνί" because she knows I love being affectionately/jokingly called an "it". Also making gay jokes in rare occasions, which I love.

She's a little insecure about being perceived as Λεσβία for her fashion sense, and I regularly assure her that she can wear whatever makes her feel good and not worry about how others see her. Can she rock a γυναικείο κουστούμι like a boss? Fuck yea. Does that mean she's a lesbian just because she looks masculine and pretty at the same time? Fuck no, you do you boo. I know how much you like dressing like this. Nobody's opinion can take it away. And lesbians are not Bad either, so she has a lot to unpack in the future. But I'm still very proud of her and how far she's come since I first told her (long before mom actually) and I absolutely love her to death.

Also she called me a bottom. Shame on her. Gah, siblings.

Honorary entries:

C. Dad

I have yet to come out to him because he often ridicules openly queer people on TV. Like, οικογενειακά watching Eurovision the Maneskin year (every year really) was both hilarious and terrifying.

But, like?? He's also lowkey kinda Bi too in a repressed way? In the way that he's loyal to the woman he married but also making strong bromances when given the chance? It's so funny to me, because he has such a soft and fond expression when talking about friends he has sort of trauma-bonded with (term used loosely, but you know how Dads are).

I could also be just tripping and trying to seek comradeship where there's none because Parents are the ones a child seeks to relate to, but I'd rather not psychoanalyse me rn.

D. Granny

Also can I just talk about Passive Acceptance. Because granny (without knowing about my identity) sometimes refers to me and my sister as παλικάρι in a Gender Neutral sense ("δεν είναι μόνο τα αγόρια παλικάρια" she says. granny is a feminist icon without even trying to be. slay.) and it makes my woman-in-a-vague-sense-i-guess(?) heart do the little proud flutter thing.

Also does it make sense to be a non-binary when it comes to speaking English but sort of a woman (actually yes a woman but also yes and no at the same time because I look and act really soft cheery and feminine but I'm mentally also a τέρας από την άβυσσο και τα τάρταρα :D) when speaking Greek??? It's so confusing, how can I perceive gender in two entirely different ways at the same time what the everloving fuck. What AM I...??

Again, sorry for the jumbled thoughts, my last three braincells are busy rn χορεύing Καλαματιανό.

Γειαα! Παιδια με σκλαβωνετε με τα μηνυματα σας τελευταια 💗 Ειλικρινα χαιρομαι παρα πολυ που εχω εστω και λιγο την εμπιστοσυνη σας - εγω μια ξενη στο ιντερνετ - και μου λετε τις σκεψεις και τις ιστοριες σας! Το εκτιμω παρα πολυ!

Να ξερετε οτι ακομα και αν τυχον διαφωνουμε σε καποια πραγματα, μπορειτε να μου στελνετε μηνυματα. Γιατι ποτε δε θα διαφωνησω με το δικαιωμα καποιου να ζει με ασφαλεια και να ειναι ο εαυτος του (το οποιο ειναι ανθρωπινο δικαιωμα ουτως ή αλλως)

Επισης: Δημοσιευω το μηνυμα επειδη δεν υπηρχε καποια δηλωση που ελεγε να μην το κανω. Αν καποιος ομως θελει να μη δημοσιευσω καποιο μηνυμα ή να διαγραψω καποιο μηνυμα, ας μου το πει, δεν υπαρχει θεμα!

Οκ switching off to English!

The whole experience is So Greek, damn! Starting with Mother, telling her Descriptively, her saying that she also liked women "one time", then considering that something is off with Dad as well, then mentioning the accidentally supportive Grandma who gives no shits... Πρεπει να εχουμε ενα σχετικο επεισοδιο στις Οικογενειακές Ιστορίες ετσι για την ταυτιση των τηλεθεατων.

Also, just because I am a nosy dramatic bitch, I would DEFINITELY bring back this conversation if this was my mum, and I would tell her "You know that you like women too, right? You can't just... lose attraction for a whole gender overnight. And they also say that sexual orientation is genetic......" Just to see her reaction and try to convince her 😂 (Don't attempt if you think it won't go well for you! 😅)

I'm really happy about how you handled things with your sis! Being perceived as a lesbian is nothing bad because lesbians are nothing bad! She can rock whatever she wants, like you said! There are lesbians out there who dress like "everyone else", meaning that clothes can potentially be a hint but you can never tell just by the clothes. She has a lot to unpack indeed but with more teaching moments by you, I'm sure she's in good hands.

Oooooh that Dad case! I have a theory here, knowing Greek dads. Perhaps he will be more supportive than you think. Not just because of the things you mentioned, but because he loves you and supports you as his child (from what I read). Greek dads can be ride or die, especially with their daughters. So, if you are confident enough when you tell him, if you look logical and self-aware, he actually might back you up and he might be the most supportive! Parents often dismiss their children because they believe that children are doing it for attention, or because of a whim. Greek dads, I've noticed, want things to be told to them with huuuge neon letters, otherwise they don't act on the situation.

For example, you can be like "Dad, I want to tell you something. (diretor hint: play it sad and worried here, he might feel the need to be protective instead of defensive) I like women too, and I have been feeling it for a long time. I didn't feel it because someone else "indoctrinated" me to it. It's a natural feeling to me. It is not a phase. I cannot switch it on and off like it's a hall light. Most importantly, this is not dangerous for me. I know that you might be concerned and we can talk about it. I just want you to know because this is an important part of who I am."

-- Again, assess the situation accordingly. You definitely don't have to do anything I suggest. And you can make the dialogue more or less cheesy :P In any case, when you talk to him keep in mind that he's an older man who grew up in specific decades and you have to make an effort to set things his way otherwise things will be lost in translation and neither of you will notice.

That's how I got an old aunt to support me. 😂This aunt was the type that says "A woman liking another woman?? Ιησούς Χριστός!!" I noticed what things she valued most (being your own person, having fun in life, not allowing anyone to step on you) and I built my case by telling her that the way I live at the moment gives me all these advantages. I also matched her tone, and I tried to see things from her side, which eventually helped guide her to the mindset I wanted to introduce her to. Sometimes many conversations and subtle hints are needed for this guidance. And they also need to like you because the Greek statement "το δικο μας το παιδι ποτε δεν κανει κατι κακο! το δικο μας το παιδι ειναι χρυσο!" will usually prevail over "A woman liking another woman?? Ιησούς Χριστός!!" 😂

What's more, some parents of queer kids already know what their kids are. They just don't say anything out of fear they will encourage this behaviour. Meanwhile the kids get stressed for decades about how the parents will react, and when they finally come out the parents, the parents are like "eh... we already knew, to be honest. We've been watching you hug and kiss girls since you were like... six. We just hoped that you'd grow out of it, that's why we didn't bring it up. We didn't want you to grow up into a behaviour that would separate you from other kids cause they would bully you and harm you."

The grandma is TOP, by the way! I feel like many older people really know what's important in life. The thought of two women getting married might never be palatable to her but she knows that alienating family members for harmless shit is not where it's at. I love her already!

On the "It's so confusing, how can I perceive gender in two entirely different ways at the same time what the everloving fuck. What AM I…??"

It is a fact that people slightly switch personalities when switching languages. English is a more polite, careful, and tip-toeing language, while in Greece malakas is a word of love if said to your friend 😂 And it's true that cultures perceive gender in different ways. So if you switch to US English and get into their mindset, they have another version of femininity. (Well, the whole country is diverse but I'm talking about the generic, permeating WASP stereotype of the preferred femininity in the US media)

I switch behavior in English too and sometimes I find that I'm more polite and "more feminine" there, which for me... eeeh not my style so much. (English makes us dysphoric, pass it down 😂😂😂😂)

Which brings me to another discussion. I am not nonbinary so I won't want to speculate on what nonbinary is and how it feels. Instead I will speak about a phenomenon sometimes seen in women, who, (sometimes!) need to be seen as a person (who deserves full respect) and not "just a woman" they take up the nonbinary label. Being a woman (or a man) comes with certain expectations and baggage and sometimes as a woman (or as a man) you can totally feel like "fuck it, I want to opt out" or "I already don't do these things and I don't want to ever do them or feel them, so I guess am actually not a woman/man".

I want to stress again that I don't imply non-binary people are this. And I'm not saying that's you. I'm just leaving this out there because it's very harmful when society makes you feel like "failing" at your gender and telling you "you are not a real man/woman because you don't do the X stereotypes", and some people fall for it want to "opt out" of their gender without realizing that in the process they're following the logic of... binaries.

Whatever you identify as should come from the inside, not from what society tells you a woman should be. Because, as you noticed, the Greek and the US society have different notions of what a woman "should be". Heck, you might move to Sweden and find out that out there you feel like Barbie while in Greece you may feel like Babis doing the exact same things😂 Don't rely on society and stereotypes, my humble opinion is. Rely on yourself. And it's okay if you don't have a definitive answer to "what you are". Just live and present as you are most comfortable.

One more thought that I have, which you can also take or leave, is about the sexuality part. I'm not family or a friend, and I don't know you well. I'm not an authority and I don't think my words are scripture. My speculation could perhaps help your brain cells stop χορεύειν τσάμικον γύρω απ τη φωτιά στο δάσος 😂

Sooo... have you considered asexuality?

Heeeaaar me out. Your confusion seems a bit similar to that of people who are asexual but don't know it yet. First of all, there's a difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction. Asexuals usually start thinking they are gay or bi because their sexual attraction to men and women is the same. Zero. 0 = 0 after all 😂

At the same time, asexuals can often feel "off" in their gender and gender expression because automatically they don't subscribe to amatonormative rules and hence, they don't subscribe to gender rules.

An asexual can still have aesthetic attraction to people (just not sexual) and want a romantic relationship. An asexual can have aesthetic attraction to only one gender or many. There's a whole spectrum in asexuality, and there are ace identities like the aegosexuals who are actually not sex repulsed. They are interested in sex as an idea, but they just don't experience sexual attraction for people in real life. (Imagine it like, you like watching football for the rush and the technique, but there's nooo way you want to go down on the field and start kicking a ball.)

Their relationships with their significant others are often "queerplatonic" because the way they perceive gender and companionship (that is not friendship) is queer compared to the rest of society.

I thought about this cause you mentioned the "hauntingly persistent bisexuality", and also because usually the answer to "so you wanna fuck women?" is "eh…yes??" if you are attracted to women in the usual way xD But of course, it might be just your character, that you don't want to focus on sex despite having sexual attraction, and, as you said avoid "dehumanizing" the other. So again, my speculation might be wrong. If you know you are sexually attracted to people, and if you don't have to ask "what is sexual attraction tho?" then that's probably not it😄

Okay, I rambled for too long again but I hope this message has helped you at least in one way. Know that you are already slaying out there and you WILL CONTINUE to slay because you're a cool and kind person with great self-reflection skills.

=================================

Generic message: If my posts have helped you in any way consider buying me a ko-fi 💖

[trashcandroid]

another october 13, another year on T (3 total now!). but this one’s special since it’s a super spooky FRIDAY october 13. more random stuff about it under the cut

part of the reason i chose october 13 to start T is because it was soon after i got my prescription, it would be a tuesday (thought it would be funny to have T days be on Tuesdays) , and because at some point it would be a super spoopy friday october 13. i looked up when it would be a friday and saw it would be in THREE WHOLE YEARS. i would have graduated college by then! and then… who knows what i would be doing??

turns out i’m doing even more school for the next probably five or six years. it’s refreshing to only be around people who really just see you as A Guy. i don’t think they even suspect i’m trans (or most of them anyway) since i’ve had quite a few conversations where they definitely would have asked if they thought so. a few of them i remember off the top of my head:

someone was asking if people had partners and i said yes (…i mean, i sorta do, don’t really wanna get into it here lol). she asked me if they were a boy or a girl and i said neither. she then kept trying to find out what they were really and seemed to be a little disappointed when i wouldn’t tell her. (to be fair, she was pretty drunk and actually passed out later that night… but that also means she totally would have asked me if i was trans if she thought so)

this same person also asked me earlier if i was bi (for some reason she was asking everyone that), then when i said no she asked if i was straight (no) or gay (no). this led to me telling another guy that i was ace and aro, and he asked a bunch of weird questions about it lol (i gave him permission to since i was wondering what questions you would even have about that, seems straight forward to me??). but no questions about being trans

oh yeah, this same guy showed my openly trans friend who was visiting some trans memes he had saved (his gf is trans). but he didn’t show them to me 🤨

ok one last one. another guy was talking about how he was thinking about joining an lgbt group here, but had felt kind of left out and different at the one he went to before. i said i felt the same (true). he got happy that i could relate and said, in a relatable tone, “yeah, they’re mostly trans and non-binary people there so i didn’t really fit in!” i hope i didn’t mislead him into thinking i was gay lol

i also joined an ace aro group which has been pretty chill. at least half the people there are non-binary and i have no idea if they think i’m trans or not. i’m guessing no..? or they’re being decent and not just asking

i never thought i’d be stealth but it’s actually so nice being around people who don’t give your gender a second thought. i did experience that in my band and in my last two years of college (well, stuff happened at the end of my third year that made me freak out for all of my senior year… which you can read about in the previous one of these lol) but the anxiety that everyone is just being nice has always been in the back of my mind. but all these small interactions seem to indicate that these people just genuinely think i’m a regular guy

ANYWAY. IN OTHER NEWS. since i have student insurance that covers 100% of the cost of medical transition stuff, i decided i could finally pursue top surgery! i already have the consult scheduled for early next year, and if the timeline is similar to what they said on the phone, i could have it done by the end of next semester! possibly even before my birthday? but depending on the available dates i might postpone til after finals. (on the plus side, those should really be the final finals i’ll ever have to take.)

i also got my passport updated with the correct name and gender marker. now i just need to update my birth certificate and that’ll be everything

despite lots of other shitty things going on in my life right now, i actually feel really positive about where things are going in terms of my transition. i can look at my face in the mirror and just see me. i can be around people who just see me. i don’t have to be around family members who mess up pronouns or awkwardly stumble around sentences to avoid using pronouns for me at all. i can just exist.

[o-wyrmlight]

Anons on this site have such brainworms "this real life person expressed an opinion and analysis over something i dont like so im going to go into their inbox and tell them to kill themself, i am so smart and stand for justice"

Grow the fuck up, get off the internet, and realise that your little bubble is actively making you a worse person. Not you Bill, you are delightful <3

Fun fact: The word 'gay' used to mean 'happy or carefree' for centuries before it became re-adopted to refer to homosexual men, and even then, it became a slur.

Nowadays, gay is a reclaimed phrase that now references anyone under the homosexual and homoromantic umbrella. I'd bring it up as being the same pretense as lesbian, but with the whole crimew debacle, it's not what people are focusing on. And like I said--nowadays 'gay' is used as a broader term, even though it's still more associated with men than not.

Words change and shift in definition over time, like it or not. No one definition of a word is ever going to be universal--there are always going to be people who have a different interpretation of the word than you do. The word 'gay' once meant (and still does mean, though not nearly as frequently as it did before) cheerful and jovial. Then it became a slur of hate before being reclaimed by the community it was being used on. Now its definition has broadened, even if the very general definition still speaks by and large to men liking other men.

There's a lot more to it than that, but yeah. While I definitely don't know absolutely everything about LGBT+ history (a lot of the time, I get a bit stressed out about how people in the past were treated), it is something that I will do more research in.

The point is, you can't control how other people identify themselves and how their words are used. All that it does is make it more difficult for people to find words to identify how they identify and makes them much less likely to even try.

Even if you don't understand why they use something like 'bi lesbian', it isn't your role to come up with a narrative about what that person is trying to imply. And it isn't a good mindset to automatically assume that your perspective is more 'right' than them. All that it does is is exacerbate the whole 'us vs. them' mentality, which is terrible because all parties involved are in the same community.

Regardless of your opinion in the matter, your perspective does not deserve demeaning the life and existence of someone else just because they use a word a little bit differently than you. I understand that lesbian is a term that was specifically catered to exclude men, but calling yourself a lesbian does still carry its meaning in strongly implying that you at the very least prefer women over men.

Besides. The people who aren't going to respect lesbians aren't going to care whether people call themselves bi lesbians or not. It's not going to change their mindsets over whether or not they 'deserve' a particular woman, because there will always be people who think that they can 'change the mind' of a self-identifying lesbian, even if she's both homoromantic and homosexual. People are entitled like that. But there are also always going to be people who respect those preferences, as well, because--here's an important thing to remember--not all men are evil and out to get you.

I could go on about this so much more, but frankly, I'm just writing down my thoughts as they come, and if I continue, I'll be here all night. So. Yeah.

I have a lot of thoughts in my mind about this and other tangential issues, but I don't want to ramble on for too long.

I'm going to leave this off by saying that going up to other people, telling them to kill themself, and saying you hope they die in a fiery plane crash will never be helpful to anyone, and it doesn't prove you're right.

[lumikinetic]

Representation in comics is seriously in the gutter these days but you know what specific examples really piss me off more than anything else?

When people try and use these panels to claim that Kitty is bi. This shit aggravates me on SO MANY LEVELS, first and foremost of which is the sheer fucking lack of self-respect on display that comes from it. Like I don't know about the white gays who go apeshit for these but Kitty's bisexuality being hinted at exactly once, not being addressed at all for two years, hinted at a second time then ignored again to this day really makes me feel so seen and represented. Call me old-fashioned but I want better than that, for Kitty and for myself.

And they hit you with that slick shit, they go "they kissed! She said she has a type "of guy"! What do you mean that's not canon!" and you know what, it would be canon, if writers knew how to do it, but they don't. Bluebird is my favourite DC character and her canonical coming out was not much better than whatever this attempt with Kitty is, she got canonised and then also promptly ignored and never addressed again, and that's BAD that's a damn SHAME there's prime opportunity here for interesting character work they're not taking advantage of

BUT.

At least she said it. At least she said, out loud, in plain English, on official ink and paper "I am bisexual" and now no one can take that from her, if they do it's intentional erasure. There is a concrete, inarguable source point to refer back to. Kitty never said it, so it doesn't count.

And that's not to say "every single comic character that gets canonised as LGBT+ HAS to say their sexuality out loud!!!" like no there are plenty of queer people who choose not to stick with one specific label preferring to be nebulous and undecided and that's FINE that's GREAT it's a viable avenue for representation in comics

BUT.

If a character doesn't say it out loud then the trade off is you have to put the work in, you have to do it in a meaningful way, you can't just do it once then only do it whenever you need to tell people "hey we didn't forget!" And that's just not something editorial is willing to commit to. Worth noting too, HUGE benefit of the doubt to the writers, the fact these panels even exist is a sign they want to do it, but for my sanity, I'm gonna assume it's editorial's fault. That said, there are a few names that come to mind but that's for another post.

Comics are getting more and more progressive each year, which is so great to see

BUT.

(Last one I promise)

The trade off for THAT is they're so so scared of offending anybody, they don't want to say for absolute certainty that anyone is or isn't - do the words "bare minimum" sound familiar? - and the ones that do by some miracle get confirmed, like Tim/Bernard or JayJon - are immediately shoved together with some zero development character that was so painfully obviously shoehorned in just to say that the other character is LGBT, and they're just not INTERESTING. All these relationships are clean and safe, pulled fresh from a Hallmark commercial and the dialogue is written like a goddamn PSA instead of real people. And I don't even care about Tim or Jon like that (especially not with Tom Taylor's hack writing) so that should be an indicator of how much this pisses me off, like we are never returning to the days of Scandal Savage marching into hell to save her one true love then ending up in a poly relationship because they're scared of implying that gay people go to hell or something equally stupid and cowardly.

So uh tl;dr Big 2 Comics are fucking spineless in case you didn't know that and please don't hope for actual representation from them, go out and read some books that actually do interesting and engaging explicit queer relationships (start with Invisible Kingdom by G. Willow Wilson)

[221beelieveinjohnlock]

Moriarty/Mercury: A Meta

(sorta)

     Forgive me for trying to meta but has anyone else noticed this though? I noticed a lot of, let's say ‘references’ to Freddie Mercury associated with Moriarty in the show Sherlock. First is the royal costume he wears when he’s found robbing banks.

     Of course this could just be a coincidence because each man is just trying to emulate a simple but recognizable depiction of royalty. Mercury-obviously alluding to the name of his band. Now I’m not going to say Moriarty’s self identity is clear in the show, but from the moment we saw him put on the crown I think it’s safe to say a lot of people thought of him as simply feeling himself to be as powerful and important as a king (or queen but more on that later). Then there’s the popular line “Honey, you should see me in a crown.” That’s the second association he has with crowns. 

     I don’t remember what episode of S4 has this moment but the most direct reference Moriarty has to Freddie Mercury is when the song “I Want To Break Free'' played right before Moriarty landed in a helicopter. There’s no denying they used an actual Queen song in the episode. I believe someone also compared the scene of Sherlock pushing down the walls of his old family home to a scene in Queen’s music video where the walls around Mercury fall. They looked pretty similar. I’m sorry I can’t provide the gifs. But while most of these references are associated with Moriarty, the walls falling down is associated with Sherlock for some reason. And the song wasn’t our only clue that Moriarty likes Freddie Mercury or at least is connected to him somehow. But why this connection? 

     Because of his involvement in the lgbt community I’m sure I recall that Mercury attended at least one drag show if not hosted it. Now in these drag shows, the word ‘queen' has a different meaning obviously. And what happens in TAB? Moriarty is shown wearing a wedding dress in Sherlock’s hallucination. You can say he’s dressed in drag.

     Again, it is never stated what Moriarty’s self identity or sexual orientation is in the show but the showrunners definitely throw a lot of gay references at him as much as John and Sherlock’s relationship was questioned. When Moriarty is in the wedding dress (dressed in drag) there’s the gun innuendo, and that’s not even the first. At the beginning of the show he “played” gay and continued to make innuendos throughout the show, often specifically to Sherlock.

     Putting all these together, it’s clear that the audience isn’t meant to apply “normal” gender norms to Moriarty. Why is that important? It’s concerning how so many antagonists in Sherlock are associated or implied to be lgbt on top of the whole queerbaiting conclusion, but I’m hoping there’s another reason. 

     Who else can wear a crown and dress? A queen. What queer person was in a band called Queen? Freddie Mercury. Is Moriarty being compared to Freddie Mercury because he was queer? And is he teasing Sherlock for not accepting himself as gay or something else? Then the rooftop scene in TRF comes to mind when Moriarty said, “You’re me.” Is he supposed to be a metaphor for what Sherlock can’t accept about himself? He has to confront a part of himself he doesn’t want to? The comparisons of characters continues with the stag night scene when Sherlock said “I’m you aren’t I?” to John. So now we’ve connected the three main characters together.... I’m not sure what this is all supposed to mean.

     I had more to say on the theme of identity with Sherlock calling his skull Billy and how John and Molly are mirrors. Then the infamous line “Who you really are doesn’t matter,” but I’ve lost my train of thought. Can anyone make sense of these connections?

[dearweirdme]

The issue about tae/nnie has taken so much space in my brain for about a month now and it's making me go through such an unhealthy obsession.

I get bothered whenever that video appears in my timeline, but I'd still deliberately look for more clues and connections. I get an irrational satisfaction whenever I see posts dragging the girl (which I think is so evil of me. I mean, I never really liked her even before this, plus, her show really made me hate her more). I never engaged in fanwars. I'm just on the sideline, reading hate posts one after another. I would intentionally look for tags and stuff related to them. It's mentally exhausting. I'm beating myself up so much over it. I'm trying to find answers in an unhealthy way. It's not good.

I understand why fans are still having a hard time accepting it considering it all started with an accidental follow, then the gurumi photos, then now this. We've been debunking this for so long, so it may take awhile to accept everything. I'm still not sure if it was them coz the narrative was full of holes and downright suspicious. We haven't seen Tae in that jacket and hat, but the pants and shoes were the same. The Celine bag was there, too, held by the manager. Jennie was seen in that outfit, too, days after that. Jennie's hair was the same. Also, that fan who asked for an autograph, although super suspicious coz how in hell was she bringing a magazine with her at that time of night. The clearer video looked definitely like Tae, so I dunno what to believe anymore. They were seen getting inside the hotel, too, so, I dunno anymore.

I've been reading posts denying the rumors, too, so it's honestly just so confusing.

Thing is, nobody really knows what's the truth, only Tae and Jennie and their companies do.

I've been reading your asks, and there were a few who are convinced that Tae is not gay. Maybe we just read him wrong, and he's just an LGBT ally. However, I disagree with the anon who said Tae can't be gay because of Wooga or Bogum coz men can be friends with gays, too. I have gay friends and straight male friends, and they get along just fine.

It's been almost a month, and we still haven't gotten our answers, and surely, there won't be any confirmation happening ever. We will just live through the confusion until one day, this will just become part of our memory as their fans.

For now, we just have to remember why we became fans in the first place. We always have to hold on to that reason why we chose BTS, what they did for us. We need to continue supporting them. We don't own them. They make us happy, we should let them find their happiness, too.

Also, I realized how fickle our minds can get. If we're not mentally strong, we can get swayed easily. We create our own truths and beliefs based on our own understanding and judgment, so we have to try surrounding ourselves with more possitive things.

We're all in this together! Happy Festa!

Hi anon!

I fear you are making yourself very unhappy at the moment. I'm glad you recognize what you're doing isn't good for you. Maybe step out for a bit?

At this point you're unlikely to find out anything new about the Paris footage. But I don't even think that's where your real problem lies. You feel too unsure about Tae and Jk probably, and you're expressing obsessive behavior because you want to make sense of things and go back to feeling safe in your believes. But the thing is, we will never know exactly what's happened, so you are likely to always have a hint of doubt in your mind. That is what you have to come to terms with, living with doubt.

Doubt can make people feel really unsafe, even when it doesn't involve themselves. Just try to tell yourself that you are safe (at least I hope you are). Whatever happens to Tae and Jk has no physical effect on your safety. You yourself are not being attacked or harmed. Try to avoid reading hate. Hate is a nasty thing, it will never make you happy. You don't have to look at stuff containing Jennie if it makes you sad. It's all about choices anon, you just have to make the right ones for yourself. You do have some control here, you have the control to filter what you see.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

The Alpha's Beta - Chapter 3 - Part 1

BOOK ONE: The Alpha's Trilogy

*Warning - Adult Content*

Hypnotic

Alpha Silas Claymore

I got home just after five p.m, parking my car in the drive way and locking it as I got out.  

I could already smell whatever Lucca was cooking, before I stepped inside.  

Walking in, I threw my keys into the bowl by the door and walked into the kitchen, where Lucca was standing in front of the stove stirring what ever he had in the pan. 

I leant myself against the wall and watched him for a few seconds before he turned around and smiled at me.

"I hope you're in the mood for stir-fry," he said and put the spatula down, before walking towards me.    

"I'm in the mood for anything you cook," I replied and crossed my arms over my chest as he stood in front of me.

I took a moment to take him in.

Lucca stood an inch shorter than me, which gave me a great view of his chocolate brown eyes.

His blonde hair was parted in the middle and the length stopped at his ears.

He had an amazing smile, which he had plastered on his face while he looked me over.   

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said, sounding a little unsure of himself.

I put my arms down and nodded my head at him.

He grabbed my right hand into his left and he took a deep breath before continuing.

"I was thinking, how about we 'you and I' make this.. I don't know official. Like we start telling people that we are in a relationship."

His free hand rubbed the back of his neck as he stumbled over his words.  

I stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he said.

"Lucca.." I started.

I watched as his smile fell and he bit his bottom lip.

I sighed.

"It's not that I don't want to, believe me I do but if we told people about, this..." I gestured my free hand between the two of us.

"People will think you're my mate and what do I do when your mate comes walking through town and I'm left to explain what happened to us. It'll just be a mess."    

He sighed and nodded.

Letting go of my hand he walked back toward the stove and I went to the dining room. I couldn't help but feel guilty.

I mean I know I should.

He looked so sad.. but we had agreed when we first got together it was for the best that we kept it between us.    

After a few minutes Lucca came in holding two plates, setting them both down on the table and nodded for me to sit and eat.    

After ten minutes of silence, I couldn't take it anymore.

I looked across the table at Lucca, who was poking at his food like he it was his best friend on Facebook.

I put my fork down and cleared my throat, causing him to look up at me.

"How about we go out tonight? Go into the city, maybe go to a bar? I hear there's a new club opened up."

I gave him a weak smile, hoping this would lift his mood.   

He nodded his head thinking it over.

"Sure, I could use a night out."

He got up taking his plate, then before he walked past me he took my plate and leaned down kissing my head.

"Thanks for trying. It really means a lot to me," and with that he walked off.   

'Hypnotic' was the only LGBT friendly club in the city, besides the gay club a few blocks over.

I'd been there once and I had no plans on going back.

Drunk humans where disgusting but drunk gay humans.

Well, I don't want to get into to much detail but I've never been touched so much in my life.

I guess having an Alpha's physique didn't always come in handy.

Especially when someone is trying to give you a handy.     

The club wasn't to full, there was enough room to walk to the bar without someone breathing there air into our faces.

Lights flashed, the walls where splashed with all different colours, the music blasted a song about Victoria's secret and how her daddy didn't know.

God I hope he wouldn't by the sounds of it.  

It wasn't like any cub I've been to.

Mind you I've only been to two and I didn't stay long.    

There was really no point to go to clubs for us.

We couldn't get drunk.

Maybe a little buzzed after a few rounds and when I say a few rounds, I mean at least twelve but our bodies just didn't allow us to become intoxicated.     

Lucca had dragged me through the club and sat me down at the bar stool and ordered two long island's.

I already wanted to leave.

This was more his thing but I wanted to see him happy and this would make him happy.     

The bartender placed our drinks in front of us and Lucca turned to scan his surroundings and I took that opportunity to take him in.

He still looked sad but he did have a hint of a smile playing on his light pink lips.

He bit his bottom lip a little bit, either out of nerves or he was deep in thought. 

I couldn't say the feelings I had for him was love but I also couldn't say it was just lust.

Lucca had been there for me when I had really no else to lean on.

I couldn't bother Simon with my problems.

He was just a kid, a kid who had already been through so much and Jeremy had his own issues to dwell on, like his son, Darren. 

I don't know what it was about him but he hadn't left my mind all day.

He was still in his office when I had left to go home.

I had to fight the temptation to go in and see how he was.     

I shook the thought of him from my head.

I was with Lucca.

Lucca, who had come into our pack weeks before my fathers death.

Lucca who had comforted me, let me cry on his shoulder, the same Lucca who knew that he couldn't be with me but had still pestered me to date him and I loved it.

I loved that he was pushy, annoying but he was also sweet and thoughtful.

I had wished that he was my mate from the moment I had realized there was feelings between us but the flame didn't become more then a spark and it hurt us both but it was okay, we were okay or so I thought, until this afternoon.    

"We should dance," Lucca said as he got to his feet.

Shaking the thought I had held from my head. I groaned at him rolling my eyes.     

"You know damn well, I am not dancing," I smirked at him to let him know, that even though I was serious.

I was still in a good mood.     

He in turn, rolled his eyes at me and leant into me, keeping his face inches from mine.

"You're a bore, my dear," he smiled then pressed his lips onto mine.

I kissed him back resting my hands on his waist.

I hadn't melted into his kiss like I had this morning.    

The flame it had held was dimming between our lips but I wanted desperately to light it.

So I pulled him closer to me.

I wanted to feel that spark.

I wanted to know what changed.

Was it him?

Or was it me?  

His hands trailed up my arms tell they found themselves around my neck, he played with the ends of my hair, just like he always did.

He knew I enjoyed it but something about it this time felt dim, the pleasure wasn't there.  

I pulled him closer, my lungs started to burn from there need of air.

Lucca pulled away from my lips and started working his way to my jaw, then down to my neck, he nipped bit sucked on his way.     

I leant my head back a bit, giving him more room to roam.

I wanted to close my eyes but they stayed opened and turned towards to dance floor.

Where they were met by a pair of grey eyes, Darren, my new Beta.  

I jumped up, startling Lucca.

He stood back and looked at me as if I had two head.

"What the fuck?"    

"Nothing. I... um. I'm not feeling well. I think I'm going to be sick."

I jumped from my seat and threw him my car keys.

"Start the car," I said as I rushed toward the bathroom. 

'What the fuck,' was right because I really didn't know.

Those eye's, they still held the same intensity as earlier today.

Why would I even care if he saw me with Lucca, I mean I'm sure despite trying our best, I'm sure everyone knew in their own way.    

I walked into the bathroom and B-lined for the sink.

I turned on the cold water and splashed my face a few times, wishing I'd understand my own head.  

"Why'd you stop? That was quite a show," Darren said as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

I mentally groaned.

"Oh, stop. You looked like you enjoyed it. So does this mean there wont be an heir to the great Alpha powers? I mean with you being a..."

"We may not be on pack territory but I'd be damn if I let you talk to me like that. I am your Alpha. On and off that land," I cut him off.

I stood in front of him.

He had a good two inches on my height but I wouldn't let something like his height deter me from what I was doing.

He needed to learn how to respect me.

"And just because you are my Beta, does not give you right to blatantly disrespect me."    

He rolled his eyes crossing his arms over his chest.

"Please. You've given me nothing to be respectful of," he spat back.

I looked at him, stunned by his words.

No one, not even my brother, Simon had dared to talk to me like that.

Darren took another step towards me, his soul eating eyes looking into mine, a scowl on his face, his voice was cold, like ice, as if it could freeze hell over.  

"Until then, don't think I'll bow down like all those other pups in your pack. You're not as good as everyone says you are," and with that he turned around and left the bathroom and I was left standing there completely dumbfounded.  

********

Pleasure had formed on Lucca's face.

His breathing heavy as he laid beside me.

Head on my chest eyes half closed.     

He was beautiful. he was always beautiful but I couldn't stop seeing Darren's eyes burning into mine every time I'd closed my eyes.     

I heard, and felt him yawn.

Than he lifted his head and pressing his chin into my chest, looking up at me.

I could see questions circling in his eyes.   

"Why are you so quiet?"    

I shrugged, I wasn't about to tell him I was thinking of another man while having sex with him.

So, I lied, well it wasn't really a lie, it was the truth but it wasn't why I was quiet.

"I have that pack meeting tomorrow and you know how I am with crowds. It's nerve wracking."    

He nodded his head laying it back down on on my chest.

"And it has nothing to do with Darren yelling at you in the bathroom?"  

I tensed for a moment, wondering how he would know that but he could have easily heard if he wasn't out of the club by that point.

I just shook my head, not fully trusting myself to talk.

"Have you ever had that feeling?" he asked hesitantly.  

"What feeling?"

"You know, that feeling when you meet someone and you just have to know them, when you see their eyes you feel numb and you know you have to get to know them."

I had to think about it for a moment.

He was talking about the signs of finding a mate.

I wish the whole mating thing was as easy as everyone had made it out to be.

First you'd meet your mate but did you know it?

Of course not because life likes to fuck with you like that.

No, you get this urge to get to know them, to see them every chance you'd get.

I had thought Lucca was my mate, hoped and prayed really but when we'd gotten close, known all we'd need to know, we didn't feel the pull.     

I had to really think about it, I wanted to tell him no but there was a part of me that knew something was going on with my mind, with my heart.

I let out a sigh.

"No Lucca, I haven't. Why? Have you?"    

"No. Not yet but then again I don't want to. Not yet. I want to enjoy my time with you. Before you're a memory."

I tried not to flinch at his words but I knew he was right.    

I may love him now but I knew sooner or later, all of this, all the nights we'd spent together, all the hours we'd spent talking, kissing, smiling and laughing, soon they'd all be just that, they'd be a memory.

[thetruemasterofgames]

OK pride month is here so time for a little thought post on something I've been mulling for like the past few years.

Rainbow. Capitalism

*dodges flaming bricks*

Alright alright I know I know you fools are anti-corporate anti-capitalism ect. But hear me out for a moment..

So we all agree to some extent exploitation is bad yeah however it's a scales moment. Yeah exploitation bad but it's also a marker and a tool in progress. The fact companies feel it's an interest to market to LGBT now rather than ignore and lash against openly says something about how we are progressing as a society. It marks that we are beginning to be on the cusp of normalization, not to say it would happen like tomorrow but you know it's further than we have been.

And if I may get abit personal for a moment for this post's point:

I know for a fact it can help change people's minds. Why? Because believe it or not I once was one of those gay bad people. I was raised in a place that told horror stories of LGBT people and their behavior primarily about targeting children and such. You wanna know what was one of the big steps into me growing past that bullshit? No fucking joke it was the fucking pride merch I eventually started seeing creep up here and there and I was wondering to myself "wait what's all this and why is it being sold in public?" It's also what made me start using tumblr more avidly back then on my old account rather than being a passive user. I started looking into it and saw that LGBT people were NOTHING like what I was taught.

Because I saw a dang rainbow shirt with Venus symbols on it and was like "the heck is this?" I went down a rabbit hole of information and learning and saw counters to information I was raised with and saw expanses into the psychological field I had not found in my old books and so on. And now I'm who you know today I know more of the science behind it I know more that its natural I no longer have the it's predatory viewpoint.

In such I've also been more up to date with this information and advances in the movement because corporates try to pander to it and I get to see the reactions.

There is some exploitation yeah and it should be pointed out but when even bastard places like chick-fil-a and fox news, places that in the past have been massively anti-LGBT, are pushing pride it does something in perception and makes people who have seen them as pillars before second guess and take a double take. What path they go down is up to them but it does something and might do for someone else what it did for me and help put people on the path to open their eyes. (We should still laugh at and point out the hypocrisy of these type of places though never forget even if you forgive guys)

All in all rainbow capitalism might be explotive however it is also a powerful tool in marking progress and pushing it more. The more we have in the public eye the more something can be spoken on. One of the biggest arguments I always heard growing up was how there are so few of them that it doesn't matter, the talk you'd probably never encounter someone who was lgbt. But when it's being showcased as it is in June now that can't be said anymore people speak more on it which means there is more chance of someone to have a change of heart. For some people as well it lets them know they aren't fully alone, this existing in common media will let it be accessible and help others find themselves. I've known many who's first seeing of self was in porn or anti-lgbt media, media that fetishized or demonized and that honestly is terrorfying knowing. And honestly I think as bad as this is it's a better alternative a lesser of two evils. In this new age I'm proud to see resources more avalible, more knowledge in the public eye. But we would not of gotten there without working with the big corps as much as I don't like it.

I hope this made sense though I'd love to hear feedback so feel free to leave your thoughts and expand as well. Happy pride everyone, stay safe out there, and keep being your amazing selves.