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chibinekochan · 3 years ago

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How to become a Demon Ruler 210

Part: 00 I 01 I 02 I 03 I 04 I 05 I 06 I 07 I 08 I 09 I

Gender Neutral Reader insert

taglist: @ayesha95 ; @nomnomcupcakesworld ; @fex-phoenix ; @depressed-bixch ; @kitsune-oji ; @witch-o-memes ; @gallantys ,@tanspostsblog ; @undertaker-02 ,

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At some point, I wake up. I hear the sounds of soft snoring beside me.

I laugh as I see Diavolo sprawled out on my bed, fast asleep.

I'm still a bit sluggish but I feel much better. It really must've been exhaustion that made me sick. I wonder how long I slept and carefully get out of bed. Tiptoeing around to not wake Diavolo. He looks kinda cute like this. It's hard not to poke his cheek when he is looking so peaceful.

I look at the clock and realize that my classes have already started. For a moment I panic when I see a note on the clock.

You are taking today off to get better.

I asked the brothers to bring you today's homework later.

-Diavolo

I smile at the poorly written note, he probably did it in the dark with only his phone light.

I suppose I should go and take a shower now. Even if I'm resting today I feel somewhat sticky.

Just when I'm about to turn around I see Diavolo opening his eyes. He looks at me with sleepy eyes.

"Good morning. You can keep lying. I will take a shower." Somehow this feels nice. Waking up like this, besides him.

"Good morning. Are you feeling better?" His voice sounds muffled, he must be still waking up.

"Yes, thanks to your great care I'm feeling much better." I show him an energetic smile.

"I'm glad." He smiles at me. "I guess I'm doing pretty okay for a big brother after all." He still seems to be half asleep but these words hurt more than I expected.

"You do." I press the words out. "I will take my shower now." I rush to the bathroom.

I'm a true fool after all. Not only can't I see Diavolo as my brother but my feelings for him only grow.

Then there is also the fight between him and Barbatos that troubles me greatly. Both of them are very important to me.

Liking two people like this at the same time is serious trouble. Especially since they both see me as master and sibling respectively.

What a mess. I could use some real advice.

I sigh and step into the shower. Trying to clear my head while cleaning my body.

It's refreshing and the thought of breakfast makes me forget my other troubles for now.

I dress and go back into my room.

Diavolo is sitting on my bed. He must need a long time to wake up. It's endearing somehow. I sigh at myself, I need to stop this.

"Ah, you are done. Breakfast came while you were away. Shall we eat together?" Diavolo stands up and walks to the already set table. It doesn't look like Barbatos work, it's somehow rather sloppily done.

"Of course, but why won't we eat in the normal room?" It seems a bit strange to me.

"Well, that is because I don't wish to see Barbatos right now. I had No. 2 serve us breakfast today." Diavolo is still hung up on what happened yesterday.

"You know that you have to see him eventually, right?" It seems somewhat childish to me, even when I understand how much this must've shaken Diavolo to his core.

"I know, but not now." He sighs and sits down at the table.

I shake my head, I need to help them to make up.

We both eat in relative silence.

Diavolo seems to have a lot on his mind and so do I.

After we are done he looks at me with a grave expression. "I fear that I have work to do."

I saw this coming. "I'm much better so you don't need to worry. I will just rest until I get my homework. I need to catch up on devil tube. Yesterday the demon brothers told me all about it." I gently reassure Diavolo.

"I'm glad to hear that. I will make sure the brothers will give you your homework and you promise that you will stay here." He looks at me pleading.

"I won't move. I promise." It's easy to agree with him since I'm still a bit tired after all.

Diavolo nods and pats my head. As nice as it feels he seems to think of me as a child or something of that nature.

It's frustrating.

"I will trust you. Get as much rest as you can. If you feel in any way off by the evening you will take tomorrow off as well." Diavolo is usually stern with me.

"Alright." I know he is only worried and so I agree.

This seems to relieve him a little bit at least.

Diavolo then looks at me one more time before returning to his duties.

I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through some comments under devil tube videos when I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in ," I yell.

The door is slowly opened and I see Barbatos peeking his head in. "I'm not sure if you wish to see me but I felt the need to apologize to you in person." He looks very pale like he didn't sleep at all.

"I want to see you, don't be silly and just for the records I don't blame you at all." I smile at him to strengthen my point.

Barbatos steps into my room, closing the door behind him. He has a cart with snacks and tea.

Probably his way of apologizing to me.

He slowly makes his way towards me. Then he pauses a good distance away from me as if being close to me would be a bother to me.

"It's my fault since I should have seen it. Not just because I should've been able to see that future but also because it was so obviously dangerous. I can't state enough how much I have failed you." His face looks like it's frozen or rather like he is in deep pain.

"Even if you were there you couldn't prevent any possible outcome. I mean there is always a small chance I die. Humans are fragile after all. I could slip on the bathroom or something. It's not possible for you to protect me 24/7 and to be honest, that wouldn’t be what I want. I need to do my own thing and I like to be alone too." I try to approach this from a logical angle.

"That might be true, but I always prevented any likely harm to you. I always tried to lead you down the path of least likely harm." Barbatos seems to have a hard time telling me this.

Now a few of his strange requests make sense.

"So you were saving me without me even knowing it? Thank you for that." It's very nice of him for sure.

Barbatos nods. "Sadly for some reason, my ability seems to weaken when it comes to you. I'm not sure why. Usually, nobody is capable of surprising me at all but you somehow always do." A short-lived smile appears on his face.

"I see but then you are even less to blame. No matter what you think I don't blame you at all." I can understand his guilt but I miss the old Barbatos.

"I appreciate the sentiment but honestly I was thinking of stepping down as your butler. I can't serve you properly." His face mirrors deep pain.

I also gasp at his words. "There is no way that I'm willing to accept this!" I raise my voice.

Barbatos seems to be taken aback. "But master, I cannot give you the full protection that you need. I failed you."He is serious.

I can't just let Barbatos quit. His duty is so important to him and he always works so hard to make me and Diavolo happy. Even when that also creates a gap between us.

"I can't stop you, but I will not accept another butler or maid to serve me." I look at him with determination.

"But Master, you need someone to serve you." Barbatos frowns.

I cross my arms. "Too bad, if I have to have a servant it can only be the best and that is you." I'm stubborn but I'm also right.

Barbatos sighs, he seems conflicted. "Even master Diavolo told me it would be better if I wouldn't come near you anymore." These words seem to hurt him.

"Diavolo is just very scared that this might happen again. I think it's easy enough to prevent though. And regardless of his feelings, my trust in you is unmoved." I voice my feelings for him.

the

Barbatos closes his eyes. There must be many things running through his head right now.

"Be honest, would you want anyone else to serve me?" I know his answer could hurt and I brace myself for that possibility.

Barbatos opens his eyes, they aren't wavering at all. "No." Then he pauses a moment. "I would not like that one bit. I believe I'm the best to serve you." His pride as a butler has not been broken at least.

I nod. "I feel the same way. Even if you can't see every possible future I want to keep you as my butler. I care deeply about you and there just can't be anyone else." I let my true feelings slip a little bit but it looks like my words reach him.

He smiles gently and steps closer. He kneels on the ground just before my bed. His eyes focus on me.

My cheeks grow hot. He is so close.

"May I keep being your butler despite my countless failings?" He asks in a very humble-sounding voice.

"You may, in fact, I order you to do so." I do my best-spoiled brat expression.

Barbatos then takes my hand and kisses the back of it. His lips feel cold but pleasant.

"I swear I will do whatever I can for you. Whatever order you give me will be fulfilled." Barbatos is earnest, this exchange is very intimate. I can feel the weight of his promise.

"I gladly accept you as my butler but don't forget that I also see you as a friend." And potentially more but I don't mention that part.

Barbatos nods and smiles softly. "Thank you for your kindness."

At least he seems more normal now, but the rift between him and Diavolo is still very much there. I need to think of a plan.

But first I want to eat the delicious snacks that Barbatos has brought me.

"Why don't you join me for some tea?" I feel like it's been forever since I saw him.

He looks a bit surprised for a moment. "Very well, I have some time for that." Then he smiles and prepares the table for us.

I slowly stand up and sit down across from him. The treats all look so good. "With what should I start?" I ask this more to myself.

"I recommend these fresh hell berry tarts, they are best when still slightly cold." Barbatos points to them.

They look very good. "Alright, I will start with them."I take one to my plate and take a bite. "Wow, you were not exaggerating. This is the best tart I ever had." I pretty much have stars in my eyes. It is that good.

Barbatos chuckles. "It was well worth the time I spent then."

"Did you see this in one of your visions too?" Now you wonder if all the food was so good because of that.

"No, as I said my ability isn't working on you and I'm quite confident in my skills. I was certain you would enjoy this. Even when I didn't expect you to love it this much." He smiles at me full of confidence.

I like this Barbatos much better. "I always love your food. I might become the avatar of gluttony at this point." I laugh.

"You still are far away from that plus it's good when you enjoy your food this much." He smiles gently.

"If I'm becoming fat you take responsibility." I tease him slightly.

He simply nods. "I will."

I didn't expect this straightforward

It's somehow embarrassing so I just continue eating to avoid that feeling.

Barbatos seems to just watch me the entire time. I'm about to complain about that when he suddenly touches my cheek.

My cheeks heat up instantly. It was just a light touch that didn't even last longer than a second but it still surprised me.

"You had some cream there." He smiles sheepishly at me and licks his finger.

This feels very intimate to me. "You should eat the tart instead of the cream on my face." I try to hide my ever-hot cheeks and ever-growing emotions.

"You are right but it might taste better this way." Barbatos nonchalantly takes a tart of his own.

"You are pretty cheeky sometimes." I mostly blurt this out, but it is true.

"Only to those close enough to me." Barbatos calmly looks at me after saying such words. My heart skips several beats.

I'm happy that he feels this way about me. Though it's still bugging me that he always manages to embarrass me. He isn't as bad as Diavolo in that regard but he is very troublesome in his own right.

Then suddenly I see an opportunity for payback.

I quickly seize my chance and wipe a bit of cream off his lip. His surprised face alone makes it all worth it.

He simply stares at me, mouth agape.

"You had some cream there." I smile and lick the cream off my finger.

Barbatos cheeks turn crimson, a full success. At least until I realize that this can count as an indirect kiss.

Now we are both embarrassed.

So I guess it ends in a tie today.

#demon ruler 101 #demon ruler 201 #omswd #om!#obey me fanfic #how to become a demon ruler #obey me diavolo #om! swd

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elspethc22 · 3 years ago

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They Make Sense

Scilesweek Day 1: POV Outsider

Title: They Make Sense

Pairings: Scott/Stiles, Scott/Kira (mentioned only as a possibility)

Word count: 4976

Being the new kid in school absolutely sucked. Being the new kid in school halfway through the school year? Even worse! Being the new kid in school, halfway through the year, with a teacher for a parent? They type of situation that definitely warranted a ‘let the ground open up and swallow me whole’ plea to whatever deity may exist and be listening.

Seriously, was there like some induction for all new parents on how to best embarrass your kids at different stages of their life? Like, welcome to parenthood, here’s your handy guide for embarrassing your child, broken into helpful sections on different developmental stages for your convenience. Good luck and happy embarrassing!

Kira lifted her head off the desk and attempted a weak smile, and catches the eye of a cute boy a few rows ahead and one row over from her. He was staring at her, like most of their classmates, but he was smiling and it brought a real, albeit small, smile to her lips. Then he was poked with a pencil by the pale boy in front of him, and he turned away.

As she watched, the pale boy said something that had the first boy grinning and shaking his head and the pale boy smiling wide.

Although she tried to pay attention throughout the rest of the class, she kept finding herself distracted by the two boys. Whenever her dad was distracted, or writing on the board, the pale one would turn around to say something to the first boy, or show him something or even just grin. Once or twice the first boy poked the pale boy in the shoulder with his pencil, then quickly looked down at his book, as if he was taking notes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The pale boy never looked annoyed – or he did, but it didn’t look very sincere, and he was always grinning when he turned back around.

She thought about going up to them, introducing herself, but they were some of the first out the door when the bell rang.

Her dad followed her into the hall, and as she tried to explain how embarrassing her was never going to be helpful, she spotted the two boys out of the corner of her eye. The pale one was staring at his locker, hand on the lock, and the other boy was watching him, talking.

Kira watched in confusion as the pale boy shook his head at his locker, then looked up at the other boy and seemed to panic about something, pulling the other boy towards him, keeping his head tucked into his chest and leading him away. Then her dad distracted her, and she let the odd behaviour slip from her mind.

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The following day, Kira decided to spend lunch outside, enjoy the sun before the weather turned. As she wandered around, looking for somewhere to sit where she wouldn’t be intruding, she spotted the boys from her history class. She walked in their direction, and then heard what they were talking about.

‘ – near death experience and comes out of it seeing things?’ The cute boy asked his friends.

‘And is unable to tell what’s real or not?’ The pale boy continued.

‘And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives?’ A pretty brunette girl added on.

‘They’re all locked up because they’re insane.’ Another boy answered, and as Kira approached, thoughts of Bardo coming to her, she only half-heard some weird conversation between the pale boy and the new one about being helpful and childhoods spent in freezers.

‘Hi. Hi. Sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing what you guys were talking about.’ Kira said, cursing herself internally for her weird introduction and tendency to ramble when nervous. ‘And, I think I actually might know what you’re talking about.’

They were all staring at her, and she noticed the pale boy give a quick glance to his friends before focusing back on her.

‘There’s a Tibetan word for it. It’s called “Bardo”. It literally means “in-between state”. The state between life and death.’ She told them, and they stared at her, for a beat, before the red-head girl spoke.

‘And what do they call you?’ She asked Kira, and Kira definitely detected more than a hint of who the hell are you in her tone. But before Kira could answer, the cute boy from history class answered for her.

‘Kira.’ His friends looked at him, and Kira noticed that the pale boy had an almost indecipherable look on his face as he stared. ‘She’s in our history class.’

The cute boy was talking to them all, but his focus stayed on the boy next to him and when he spoke again his voice was softer.

‘Mr Yukimura introduced her yesterday, remember? Before you poked me and told that stupid joke?’ His voice turned teasing as he said the last bit, and Kira watched the pale boy smile and nod slowly, as if remembering. When Kira looked around the table, she saw that the other boy and the brunette were watching the boys with half concerned, half fond/annoyed (the girl and boy respectively) looks on their faces. The red-head, however, was watching her with a look that seemed to be a mix of contemplative and protective.

‘So, are you talking Bardo in Tibetan Buddhism or Indian?’ The red-head asked, drawing attention away from the boys and back to Kira. Kira nodded, and then started to tell them more of what she knew about Bardo, sitting down in the empty space beside the pale boy, and she tried not to notice, or take it personally, when he slid away from her slightly, towards the cute boy. And she really needed to learn their names if she was going to keep talking to them.

When she told them all that the final stage of Bardo was death, the looks they all shared were all scared and concerned, which confused her, but then as she watched, they all seemed to school their faces, and the cute boy turned to her.

‘So, Kira. Your family only just moved to Beacon Hills, right?’ He asked, and she let him change the subject, though it just confused her more.

‘Uh, yeah. Three weeks ago. I think mum used to live here when she was younger, and she and dad just decided to move us here.’ She told them.

‘Well, welcome to Beacon Hills, and Beacon Hills High. I’m Scott, by the way.’ The cute boy told her.

‘I’m Lydia.’ Kira turned to see the red-head giving her a smile, though it didn’t seem quite sincere, although Kira nodded.

‘Allison.’ The brunette told her, and her smile was more genuine. The boy beside her didn’t say anything until Allison nudged him, and he looked at her briefly and said ‘Isaac’ before looking away again.

‘And uh, this is Stiles.’ Scott said when the pale boy didn’t seem inclined to introduce himself. He clapped the boy beside him on the shoulder, which seemed to startle him. She watched as Stiles looked up at Scott, and although she couldn’t see Stiles’ face, she watched as Scott’s went from concerned to fond before he leant forward to whisper something into Stiles’ ear, tilting his head in her direction. Stiles turned his head towards her, gave her a small smile and a wave of the hand, then went back to staring at the table, though Kira thought he leaned in to Scott’s hand which had remained on his shoulder, and Scott’s eyes flickered towards him.

Kira was about to say something, but the bell rang signalling the end of lunch, and the others all started collecting their belongings and standing up.

She stood too, and was trying to think of something, anything to say when they started walking away from the table.

‘Hey, thanks for information on the Bardo thing.’ Scott said to her, having held back to wait for Stiles to finish collecting his things. She smiled at him, and nodded, but before she could say anything else, Stiles stood straight, and then he nearly tripped on – well, Kira wasn’t sure what, actually, there didn’t seem to be anything to trip on – and would have face planted on the grass if Scott hadn’t caught him.

She knew Scott had forgotten all about her as he helped steady Stiles, ducking his head close to the other boy. He rubbed his hand up and down Stiles’ arm a few times, then wrapped his arm around Stiles’ shoulder, and started to lead him away, keeping Stiles close to him as they went.

When Kira got home, she completed her homework, then spent a few hours doing more thorough research on Bardo, so she could give Scott, and his friends, more detailed information on the phenomenon. As she worked, her mind kept slipping back to lunch, and what she’d seen between Scott and Stiles. They were definitely close, and Scott seemed to be very protective of the other boy. Stiles had seemed wary of her, and also, now that she thought about it, looked really tired. Maybe he had been sick recently and was still recovering, so Scott was just looking out for him.

She printed off her research, and made a mental note to put it in her bag before she went to help her mum get ready for dinner.

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The next day, she greeted Scott before class, telling him about the research on Bardo she’d done for him, although when she went to pull out the pages they weren’t in her bag.

‘Kira, you forgot that research you did for that boy you like.’ Her father’s voice sounded from behind her and her eyes grew wide. She took the offered pages, then all but shoved them into Scott’s hands, avoiding looking at his face so she wouldn’t have to see his expression. She moved quickly, taking a seat and was thankful when Scott sat a few seats ahead of her in the row over.

She tried to shift her attention, focus on her dad and what he was saying as he started the class, but her eyes kept darting back over to Scott without her permission. He was flicking through the printouts she’d given him, but she noticed when he sat up straight suddenly. Kira looked up to see his friend, Stiles, had been called to the front of the class to read.

But instead of reading, Stiles was clenching the podium tightly, blinking furiously and looking like he was on the verge of passing out as he looked down at the page and then back up at the class. Did he have a problem with public speaking?

As she watched, Scott stood abruptly.

‘Stiles? Are you ok?’ He asked, but Stiles didn’t respond. He looked around the room, breathing heavily, then looked back down at the podium, closing his eyes. ‘Stiles?’

Scott moved forward swiftly, moving to Stiles’ side and telling her dad he was taking the other boy to the nurse. Her dad just nodded in shock as Scott put one arm around Stiles’ waist, the other on his arm, keeping close to his side and led him quickly from the room. She watched them go, faintly heard Scott telling Stiles to breath before the door closed behind them.

Her dad tried to pull the class back to their work, but Kira didn’t notice until she heard her name.

‘Kira. Perhaps you can come up and read the passage for us.’ She looked over at him, and saw that he was giving her a look which meant she needed to just do what he was asking and not argue. So she stood and made her way to the front of the room and read the passage, helping her dad to pull the attention off the two boys and back into the lesson.

When the bell rang, her classmates began to scoop up their bags, putting their books and other things back into them and making their way out of the class and off to lunch as her dad reminded them of their required reading.

Kira zipped up her backpack, and was about to leave when she noticed that Scott and Stiles had both left their bags behind. She looked around, and saw that everyone else had left, and none of their other friends were in this class. So she picked them up, and went looking for them. Doing something nice was how you made friends, right?

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As the weeks passed, Kira did find herself enveloped into Scott’s group once she was introduced to the world of the supernatural, of kitsunes, werewolves, banshees and more. It was great to finally have friends, but also to finally understand what had been going on with her, and to have people who could sort of understand what it was like to be so different.

There were also a few brief moments where Kira thought maybe she and Scott were getting closer over those weeks, from him coming for dinner at her house, to their foray into criminal activity to delete the photos from her phone and the party.

Then Stiles went missing, the first time, and everything went crazy. From nogitsunes and chaos and murder to finding out her mum was over 900 years old and had been lying to her, her entire life, any possible thing with Scott was pushed to the back burner.

And Scott? Well, Scott’s focus was all on Stiles. And at the end of it all, when Stiles and the nogitsune were separated, the nogitsune, and some of their friends, dead, and some time had passed and they all seemed to be starting to heal, Kira was able to think about possibilities with her and Scott, and she went to find him.

His mum was just leaving for another shift at the hospital and let her in with a quick ‘he’s in his room.’

She made her way quietly up the stairs, and was about to turn into Scott’s room when she heard the voices and stopped. She’d like to say she didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the pain she heard had her not wanting to intrude, and then fearing that retreating would call attention to her presence – she was actually very surprised Scott hadn’t heard her coming up the stairs.

‘Scott, I don’t know how to keep going. Every time I close my eyes, it’s like I’m back there – trapped in my own mind, with a front row seat to everything it did. And the one memory that’s stuck on repeat? It’s you, that night at the clinic.’

‘It wasn’t you Stiles, you know it wasn’t you and I’d neverblame you for that.’ Kira really shouldn’t be listening to this, it was clearly a very private moment between them and she should absolutely leave now.

‘It might not have been me, Scotty, but I still remember it. I could feel it as it happened, it felt like my hands holding the sword, pushing it in, twisting it, feeding off your pain. Liking it.’ That last bit was whispered so softly Kira almost didn’t hear it.

‘It got into your mind, Stiles. It wasn’t you, and it wasn’t your fault. You heard Mrs Yukimura talk about it, about how powerful it was. There’s nothing you, or anyone, could have done to stop it, especially when we didn’t know about it until it was too late.’

‘I should have done something when I knew I left the message for Barrow.’ Stiles said, his voice broken.

‘Like what? Locked yourself up in Eichen House sooner? All that did was delay everything – until we knew how to stop it, there wasn’t anything any of us could do except try and hold it off, stop the damage from being too much. And you did hold it off Stiles, you tried – I know you tried to stop it, to fight back and minimise the damage it would do. When Derek and I were on the roof of the hospital, before we figured out what it had done to the wiring, do you know what we could smell? You – struggling. You were trying to stop it.’

After this, there was silence, and after a few moments of internal debate, Kira very slowly (and as silently as possible) poked her head around the frame of Scott’s room to peer in.

The two boys were sitting on Scott’s bed – they had clearly been sitting opposite each other as they spoke, judging by the way Scott was leaning forward on his knees to hug Stiles. As she watched, Scott started to lean back, pulling Stiles with him, shifting until he was sitting more comfortably and hauled Stiles onto his lap.

Stiles was crying, and Scott kept one arm wrapped around Stiles’ waist, preventing him from wiggling away, while his other hand rubbed circles on Stiles’ back.

As Kira watched, Scott appeared to be whispering into Stiles ear. Stiles was quieting now, no longer shifting or fighting against Scott’s hold. The opposite, in fact – now he let his body go, slumping into Scott’s arms, resting his head against Scott’s chest.

‘Why are you always so good to me?’ Stiles asked softly, and Scott looked at him fondly.

‘Because you are the most important person in this world to me, outside my mum. You remember what you said to me at that motel? I can’t do this without you either, Stiles. So I’m always going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe and I’m always gonna be here, no matter what. I love you, Stiles. Always have, always will.’

There was a beat of silence as Stiles pulled back, looked at Scott.

‘I love you too, Scott.’ Stiles responded, cautiously, his voice even. Scott gave him a small smile, then shook his head.

‘I know you do, but I meant… I meant more than just how I’ve always loved you.’ Scott told him, and Stiles just looked at Scott. ‘I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, or like you have to feel the same, but it’s kind of been building for a while and I nearly lost you so I just had to – ’

Scott was cut off as Stiles pressed their lips together, bringing one of his hands up to cradle the back of Scott’s head. And now Kira really needed to leave. Cross her fingers and hoping that Scott wouldn’t hear her she made her way as quietly as possible back down the stairs.

Then, just as she was about to open the door to leave, she realised that Scott would be able to tell she’d been there – he’d smell her scent. So she opened the door as carefully as possible, then knocked, loudly.

‘Scott!! Are you here? Your bike is outside, and the door’s unlocked, so I’m guessing you’re here…’ She called out, stepping inside and closing the door, audibly, then started her way up the stairs, making sure to let each footfall make a sound. ‘Scott?’

Just as she reached the top of the stairs, Scott’s popped out of his room.

‘Kira! Hi! Uh, what’re you doing here? I mean, what’s up?’ He asked, looking a bit flushed.

‘Oh, I just wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing, and Stiles too.’ His eyes widened and she wanted to bite her tongue.

‘Stiles? What do you mean?’

‘I didn’t want to intrude on Stiles and his dad, but I thought you’d know how he’s doing so…’ She trailed off and shrugged, hoping he believed her. And it was mostly the truth – she would have asked him about Stiles before she knew the other boy was here. Thankfully Scott nodded.

‘Yeah, he’s um… he’s doing ok. He’s getting there.’ She smiled.

‘That’s great, Scott. I’m really glad he’s alright. Oh, um, my mum said something last night – she told me to suggest that if he has any trouble relaxing or sleeping to try tea.’ She said, remembering the conversation she’d had with her mum last night as they’d discussed what had happened.

‘Tea?’ Scott asked, and she nodded.

‘Yeah. Specifically chamomile. I honestly don’t know if that’s just a like, mum thing or it’s actually helpful with this specific type of thing but I remember her giving him some when he came over to talk to her.’

‘I remember – it helped. Well, I don’t know if it was the actual tea, or your mum just telling me it would help but it did. It helped me calm down a bit.’ Stiles said, coming up beside Scott in the doorway, nearly making Kira jump since she wasn’t expecting it and hadn’t heard him moving.

‘Oh, hey Stiles. I didn’t realise – I didn’t mean to interrupt or anything, I just wanted to check on Scott, and… well, I guess you already know, you probably already heard.’ Kira wanted to face palm – she’d gotten so much better at not rambling in front of these guys recently, as they’d become friends, but knowing that she’d stood there and listened to what was very clearly a private moment had her flustered.

‘Yeah. Thanks, for not wanting to just drop by my place, I haven’t really been the most… sociable.’

‘Of course. I can’t even imagine… well, I was worried about you, both of you. Hence coming by to see Scott. But you guys are spending time together, and that’s good, and I don’t want to interrupt so I’m just gonna go now, but you’re looking better Stiles, which is good, really good. And you look good too, Scott. Um… ok, bye!’ She nearly shouted the farewell and turned to race down the stairs.

Just as she was reaching for the door, a hand touched her shoulder.

‘Hey.’ It was Scott.

‘Uh, hey.’ She said.

‘Look… I uh… I know you were upstairs earlier.’ He said softly and she felt her heart drop and her eyes widen.

‘Oh, god I’m so sorry Scott. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I was just coming up to see you like I said, but then I heard you talking and it sounded really important and I didn’t want to interrupt but then I should’ve just left, but I thought if you heard me leaving I’d interrupt the conversation so I stayed but I shouldn’t have – ’

‘Kira.’ He cut her off, put a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle, comforting squeeze. ‘It’s ok, I’m not mad. I know you’re not the kind of person to just go around listening in on conversations. And I could’ve said something, but it was the first time Stiles had really talked to me so I didn’t want to do anything to stop that. But that’s not why I wanted to talk to you.’

‘It’s not?’ She asked, confused, and he shook his head.

‘No. I wanted to apologise.’ He told her, and she was more confused.

‘Apologise? Why?’

‘I want you to know that… I like you, Kira. You’re a really good person. And I kinda thought… there were a few times when I thought that maybe you want to be more than friends and for a little while I thought I might too but this thing with Stiles…’ He trailed off, looking like he was thinking about how to say what he wanted to say.

‘Scott. It’s ok. I mean, yeah, I like you. And I did think, maybe… but honestly? If I think about it? It makes a lot of sense, you and Stiles.’ She told him honestly, and the more she thought about it, the more it really did make sense. She thought about all the little moments she’d seen between Scott and Stiles, all the way back to that first history class.

The way they moved around each other, the way their eyes always sought each other out in a group or crowd, the way they’d drop almost anything for the other. How they moved and spoke and often thought in sync.

‘Really?’ Scott asked, and she saw a small smile tugging at his lips.

‘Yeah. And I’m happy for you, Scott – both of you. Don’t feel bad for something this good – and besides, we never really even did anything, or even talked about anything, so I’m not upset, I promise. And more than anything I might have felt or could have felt, I’m just glad we’re friends.’ She told him, smiling.

‘I’m glad we’re friends too.’ He told her, in that amazingly sincere way of his. She reached out and drew him into a quick hug, then stepped back.

‘Tell Stiles again I’m really happy to see him doing better? And hopefully we’ll see him back at school soon – when he’s ready, but hopefully soon.’ She said, and he nodded.

‘I will. And thanks, for coming by.’ Scott told her and she just smiled. Then she turned to open the door, and stepped out. Scott stepped up behind her, holding the door so he could close it. Just before she stepped down off the porch, she turned back.

‘Scott?’ She said, and he cocked his head. ‘It’s really good to see you happy again, both of you. I only saw it a couple of times when I first met you before everything… well, it’s just good to see.’ She told him, and he smiled.

‘It’s good to feel happy again. It feels like I shouldn’t sometimes but – ’

‘I didn’t know her as well as the rest of you, but I think she’d want you to be happy too. She’d be happy that you’re happy.’ She told him, and he looked sad for a moment at the semi-direct mention of Allison, but then he nodded.

‘You’re right. I really am glad we’re friends. I’ll see you at school on Monday?’ He asked, and she nodded.

‘I’ll see you Monday.’ Then she turned and headed to her car. By the time she slid behind the wheel and glanced back at the house, the door was closed, but a quick glance up showed Stiles standing at the window of Scott’s room. She gave a small wave, which he returned before he turned his head away from the window, presumably to the sound of Scott. She started the engine, and headed home.

***************************************************************************

Monday morning found Kira arriving early to school, pulling her car into one of the many empty spots. As she hopped out of the car, she spotted Lydia getting out of her own car just a few spots down. Kira made her way over to her, and they were just catching up with each other when Kira spotted Stiles’ jeep turning into the parking lot. She and Lydia both turned and watched as Scott pulled the jeep into a spot.

‘I wasn’t expecting Stiles to come back so soon.’ Lydia murmured, and Kira nodded in agreement.

‘Yeah, I mean he looked better when I saw him but – ’

‘You saw him?’ Lydia asked, and Kira turned to look at her.

‘Um, I mean yes, technically, but only because I went by Scott’s house to check on him and ask him how Stiles was and Stiles was there and heard me when I was telling Scott something my mum recommended for Stiles and he came out and said hello. So I only saw him for like, less than a minute.’ Lydia just stared at her, and Kira tried to hold eye contact before she broke and looked away. Coincidentally right back to where Scott was helping Stiles out of the jeep.

Kira watched as he pulled Stiles in close, saying something then giving the still too thin and pale boy a hug and a kiss on the head before he pulled back. He took Stiles’ hand in his, linking their fingers, then lifting them and placing a kiss on the back of Stiles’ hand, an action that had Stiles blushing and ducking his head.

‘Huh.’ Kira turned back to Lydia, who was also watching the two boys.

‘What?’

‘I didn’t think they’d work it out so soon.’ Lydia said, still watching.

‘What do you mean?’ She asked, looking back at the boys who were still standing by the jeep talking.

‘I always knew they’d be more than just friends. Well, I may have wavered in that belief just a little when Scott was with Allison, but I always thought there was more than just friendship there.’ She said, though it seemed she was talking more to herself. Then she seemed to realise who she was talking to, and turned to look at Kira, her eyes narrowing. ‘This isn’t going to be a problem, is it? Because I like you Kira, I do but these two – they’ve been through a lot, we all have, but they’ve been in it from the very start and they deserve some happiness, so – ’

‘Lydia! It’s fine. I already, kinda knew – I, when I went to Scott’s I… Scott told me. And I’ll tell you what I said to him – it makes sense. And I agree with you, they do deserve to be happy.’ She paused, looking at the banshee. ‘We all do.’

Lydia studied her, and Kira thought she was trying to detect any lies. She must have found her answer satisfactory, because she nodded, then smiled.

‘You’re right, we do. And we will be.’ Lydia told her, then turned away. Kira followed her line of sight, and saw Scott and Stiles were now heading in their direction. Scott still had a firm hold on Stiles’ hand as they approached the girls. And, like that first day she’d noticed them in history class, Stiles poked Scott, leaned in to whisper something to him that had Scott grinning with humour and Stiles smiling wide. Yes, she thought to herself. Scott and Stiles made sense.

#scilesweek #teen wolf events #teen wolf #sciles #scilesweek day 1 #pov outsider #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #teen wolf fanfiction #sciles fanfiction #kira yukimura #lydia martin #allison argent #isaac lahey

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arigatouiris · 4 years ago

Text

i’ll remember you // kuroo tetsuroo x reader (2/3)

Author’s Note: Here’s chapter two! I mean, it’s longer than the other two parts that I had in mind, but I hope that’s okay? Also, please let me know what you think of this? I worked really hard on it, so I’d feel so good if you guys tell me what you think :”) And there’s a Barakamon reference in this chapter :3

Word count: 7k+

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuroo x Reader [Kimi no Na Wa re-write]

Summary: Everything had been perfectly normal until you woke up as a volleyball captain from a school you didn’t go to, in a city you didn’t live in. Ever since then, Kuroo Tetsuroo has been inching closer and closer into your life, wrecking almost everything that could perhaps be considered normal.

However, you never realized how vital he was to you; because you were sure you would understand upon seeing him.The struggle however, was remembering each other. Because what good would it do if you went to saw him and he didn’t remember you?

Well, the universe turns back time, of course. Until he did.

Warnings: angst, body-swapping, bullying, fantasy, reader is depressed, mentions of suicide, character death, slow burn, bittersweet end, awkward boners, mentions of porn

ｃｈ．０２ — ｓｌｏｗｃｈａｎｇｅｓ

When you woke up, you saw the window first.

You sprung up in your bed before noticing the thin cloth divide the room—your brother's half and yours. Tears threatened to form in your eyes but you blinked them away before rushing to the window, noticing how it was still slightly dark out, how it was about to be sunrise. You noticed that your brother wasn't in the room, he'd probably gone out to help your mom with the salt.

Your hands sprung to your breasts a second later before cuddling up to them, "I missed you..."

A second later, you noticed an evident note on the wall. Your heart sped up, wondering if it was from Kuroo, and walked over to see a rather cryptic message.

You're prettier than you give yourself credit for.

Your eyes widened at the note, before feeling a strange warmth in your chest. You go over to your table before checking if he'd left any more notes, but found none. You picked your phone up and saw that the wallpaper had changed. It was a picture of you that you hadn't taken—you were wearing your school uniform, and you were smiling at the camera; you wouldn't lie, it was an excellent picture of you.

A smile sat on your lips before realizing that Kuroo must have done this.

And I broke his laptop, you cringed before sinking to the ground in horror. A second later, you walked over to the bathroom before brushing your teeth but your eyes widened at the note in the mirror.

Akio is a douche!

You froze. Akio...? Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no!

Did Kuroo say something to him? Did Akio say something to Kuroo and he had said something back? You cursed yourself on thinking that Kuroo couldn't make your life worse than it already was. Scrambling to get ready, you wore your uniform before noticing that it was crumpled and thrown to the corner. Your eyebrow twitched before feeling a feeling of pure distaste sit on your lips. Rushing to make breakfast before your mother and brother returned, you immediately got the rice cooking and the curry boiling. The whole while, all you could think of was what Kuroo might have done, and your heart was pounding in your ear. For some reason, you weren't anxious, perhaps that was because you were in a fight-or-flight mode.

"Ah," Your mother's voice alerted you, as you set the breakfast on the kotatsu, "How are you feelin' today?"

Huh? You gave her a funny look, "Whaddaya mean?"

"You were actin' a bit odd yesterday. Thoughtchu were sick o' somethin'."

Your heart melted at your mother's worry for you before shaking your head. She's my mother! You scolded yourself.

"I'm good today, 'kaa-chan."

"Clearly you remember how ta make rice today?" Your brother perked up.

Your face reddened before thinking of how Kuroo must have made breakfast yesterday.

"What?"

"You were strugglin' to get the cooker on! As if ya didn't ever see it before. And yer curry was disgustin'."

"I was sick." You mumbled before focusing on the food.

Letting out a breath, you packed your bento before looking at your brother strangely. He was staring at your face oddly.

"What?"

"You look like yerself today too. You'd forgotten how ta do yer hair yesterday."

Your heart sunk. It must be hard for a guy to live suddenly as a girl for a day. But, your mind kept circling around what Kuroo might have done to Akio. While walking to school, you stopped by your only friend's house, Kotoishi Naru, and hoped she was the one Kuroo had confided with. You were glad you met Kenma with such ease and wondered how Kuroo may have figured out that Naru was your best friend. Naru wasn't in your class, and she wasn't even around half the time considering how there was a big calligraphy competition that was coming up.

Once Naru saw you, she waved, almost as if nothing strange had occurred. You blinked as she ran over to you, her brown hair bounding behind her with ease.

"How you feelin' today, (y/n)?"

"Uh," Didn't Kuroo say anything to Naru? "I'm good. Did... Did anythin' strange happen yesterday?"

Naru scoffed, "A lotta strange things happened, especially with ya, (y/n). Where do ya want me to begin?"

"Eh?"

"That boy made me watch that movie, the one where they switch bodies? Wicked, really—"

You grab Naru's shoulders before forcing her to meet your gaze.

"Naru! Tell me—"

"You gotta watch that movie, (y/n). And like, maybe skip school—"

"Naru."

She let out a sigh, "Yanno how Junko's got her ass on ya all the time? The boy in yer body gave her a piece of his mind when she forced herself on ya. She threatened to cut yer hair if ya didn't finish 'er homework. That boy wasn't havin' none of it. Junko's prolly not gon' ever talk to ya again. And..."

Naru looked a bit hesitant as she continued, "Ya prolly shouldn't talk ta Akio either."

"Oh no," You felt your heart sink in your chest, "Was it about the confession?"

Naru blinked, "What confession?"

You sighed, "Two days ago, I confessed to Akio-kun. He turned me down—"

"That bastard," Naru muttered, "But, it's good. Just don't go talk to 'im. Pretend he's scum, aight? Actually, he is scum—"

"Naru, what happened?"

Naru shrugged before leading you to school. You knew you weren't going to get any answers out of her right then. But, your heart was pounding against your chest. You knew Kuroo was just trying to help out by standing up for you, but by changing the way you behaved just for momentary gratification didn't seem right to you. You'd barely made any changes in his life, but the way he'd completely turned yours around felt strange. You weren't thankful; in fact, you were angry.

On reaching school, people watched you as you made your every move. Naru wasn't by your side but had strictly warned you to not say a word in edgewise to anyone. That's probably what I'll do anyway, you thought before heading to class and freezing in front of your desk. Your eyes widened at the words written on the desk, 'Slut', 'Whore', 'Demon', and other things. Your hands were shaking at the way these words suddenly sprung up only after a day of living as Kuroo.

"Ah," The teacher said, and you looked up with sad eyes, "Yer aight, there?"

Even the teachers noticed? You heard snickering from behind you but you ignored them. Never had you felt so degraded before, and it was all thanks to how some boy had lived in your body for a day and didn't bother to accommodate.

You ate your lunch quietly just as Naru trod inside and slammed her hand on your table. She frowned at the words that you hadn't bothered to erase, and then looked up at you.

"We gotta move," She said, grabbing your wrist, pulling you, but you refused to budge, "Now!"

"Naru! What do you—"

"There she is," Akio's loud voice was barely missable. You had grown to fall for that voice, after all, "The school slut."

You felt as if your body was on fire; and you wanted to leave instantly. Naru moved before you could catch a glimpse of Akio's threatening gaze fall on you. You felt like his gaze could burn you. It wasn't in a nice way. His face had a very dark bruise, right below his eye and his nose looked a bit crooked. You couldn't move, you were frozen to your spot, confused at the scene occurring before you.

"Watch yer mouth, Matsuo." Naru warned before Akio scoffed.

"Ask 'er to watch 'ers! Dunno where it's been—"

"What're you sayin'?" You snapped, feeling your heart burst.

The class burst into laughter at your sudden outburst, but you saw a tinge of... fear, you couldn't believe it, in Akio's eyes. Clicking his tongue, he walked away, taking the air of confidence with him. Tears filled your eyes and you immediately got up and ran to the roof, knowing that'll be the only place no one would bother you. Naru followed shortly after, knowing full well that you were distraught.

"Naru, what happened?"

She sighed before groaning, "He threw 'imself at ya, (y/n)." Your eyes widened.

"The boy in yer body were the one who gave 'im the black eye. Deserved it too."

Akio threw himself at me? That doesn't make sense! I was the one who confessed to him! You wanted to ask Kuroo what had happened but there wasn't any way you could contact him, considering how you'd failed to send yourself a text message. If you were ever going to wake up in his body again, you'd let him know just how much you appreciated him turning things around in your life. You clenched your fists so tightly that you swore you could punch through a wall.

Kuroo Tetsuroo, you goddamn pig!

When Kuroo woke up as you, he didn't really freak out as much. It took him until half a day for him to realize that it wasn't a dream at all, that having enjoyed Kimi no Na Wa so much he was finally living it seemed a bit too unreal. However, after learning what that girl Naru had called you, Kuroo froze a little bit.

You were the girl that had killed herself, opposite Kenma's house.

Here, you were a second-year high school student, which meant that this was a year prior to how things went. Kuroo didn't know why you had killed yourself in the present, but he assumed it must be some reason related to mental health, for all suicides were along the same lines. His heart felt for you, but he was now more curious to see why he was swapped into your body. Did this mean he had to save your life, the same way Taki had saved Mitsuha?

"Oi," Kuroo said, as you, to the brown-haired girl calling herself Naru, "What's this girl's deal?"

"Whaddaya mean, (y/n)?"

Kuroo groaned, "I'm not (y/n)! I'm a guy, stuck in her body."

"Eh? That ain't possible—"

"After school, I'll show you a movie, how about that? Now, just play along. What's her deal?"

Naru hummed before tapping her chin a couple of times. It wasn't as if she didn't like role-playing, but you had been acting weird all day. This didn't particularly seem impossible, even though science told her it was out of the question.

"(y/n)'s the firstborn of two kids, she's got a younger brother, Takeru, and 'er mum's a bit of a bitch," Kuroo winced, "Ah, you aren't (y/n). She'd 'ave killed me if I said that."

Kuroo sighed, before gesturing her to continue. This was sometime after lunch, where Kuroo forcefully ate the bento (y/n)'s younger brother had made after he had called in sick on (y/n)'s behalf. He didn't understand why there wasn't a fully functioning cafeteria, but he assumed cities were different from country prefectures. He was in Nagasaki, after all.

"(y/n)'s dad's passed while fishing for oysters. 'er aunt lives in Tokyo, and is honestly the only person in (y/n)'s family that she adores."

Her aunt, huh, Kuroo's eyes narrowed, "She adores her aunt?"

Naru nodded, "Aunt's nice. Brings 'er gifts and all. Always keeps askin' her to move to Tokyo. Mum's against it."

"Why?"

"Even I dunno that, shonen." Naru shrugged.

It was during lunch that Akio had approached Kuroo. He was quite certain that he was her boyfriend, with how close he was and how he was saying such cheesy stupid shit. Maybe, they fought or something? Kuroo was never the one to pry, although, he took very little to understand the context of certain situations. Just as he understood this one.

"I know I said no ta ya," Akio's hands were inching closer and closer to Kuroo, "But lemme erase that, aight? With the way ya are right now, I'm not sure I can hold myself back—"

"Hold up a goddamn minute," Kuroo smirked before placing both his hands against his chest and pushing him away, "You rejected me?"

"That's in the past—"

"And you're nuzzling close to me like we're dating? You must be some pig, eh?"

Akio's eyes flashed with anger before grabbing Kuroo's wrist. Judging from the strength (y/n) had, he was certain that she wouldn't have been able to push him away, but this was Kuroo. And even though he didn't like physical fights, helping a girl recover her honor was not against his many policies. He twisted Akio's hands before throwing a nasty punch to the boy's face, drawing blood. It wasn't as if he knew you personally or even knew enough of your story to be doing this, but he was in your body right then, and if at all you believed you were deserving of this idiot's schemes, Kuroo wanted you to know that you were much more.

The second he saw your image in the mirror, he was floored at how beautiful you were even in the morning. Your hair was marvelous, your smile was gorgeous, and your body... now that was something else. Kuroo wasn't a pervert, but he won't deny that having your body for a day was making him more curious by the hour. He had touched your breasts, he wouldn't lie, but he'd have done that if it were anyone. But, he refused to look at any part of you otherwise, which was perhaps why he decided he wouldn't take a shower. The farthest he would go would be touching your breasts, and if he had to comment, he'd simply say that he wouldn't mind waking up as you if it meant having your breasts.

He had learned later that day from Naru that (y/n) had been obsessed with this Akio boy for over a few months now. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the girl and asked her if she had a computer with a stable internet connection. When she said only her phone had an internet connection, Kuroo groaned. Even the groan sounds adorable coming from (y/n), he thought before nodding once.

"There's a movie we're going to watch, okay?"

"Whatsit about?"

"Whatever's happening to me and your friend."

It surprised him how quietly Naru sat through the entire movie. Kuroo didn't mind watching Kimi no Na Wa again, especially as someone else, but Naru's fascination with the movie amazed him. For a moment, he deliberated on telling her that you had died in the present world, but he knew that telling Naru meant he was inevitably telling you, and he didn't want you to panic or throw yourself into a corner.

If he was put in your body, and judging from what he knew happens to you, he was meant to save you.

Perhaps, the care rose in his heart after learning that he was in your body of all people. Knowing that you had died, alone and isolated in a house where your aunt was probably never home, having not been fed or having any friends for that matter, Kenma knew better about the circumstances of your death, and he made it a point to ask him later.

Once the movie was done, the first question that Naru asked him proved to him that Naru was indeed one of the smartest people he'd met.

"Something's gonna happen to 'er, isn't it?"

When he woke up back as himself, the first thing he saw was the familiar Ratchet and Clank poster in front of him, and the loudness of Tokyo livelihood. He turned to spot his uniform neatly folded and hung from hangers against the door, and his heart twisted in dissatisfaction with how he had just haphazardly thrown yours. He noticed the note you had left behind and smiled as he read your words, before noticing the line below your first note. His eyes widened and he rushed toward his laptop, before noticing a large crack on it.

"You've got to be kidding—" He traced his hand against the big crack on his laptop's screen before feeling nothing but ire in his heart, "—she fucking broke my laptop!"

Rushing down to meet Kenma, knowing full well that he'd understand, he noticed his father coming toward him with breakfast. Kuroo eyed his father strangely before his father returned the gaze.

"You ate yesterday, so what's the trouble now?"

Kuroo groaned internally when he realized that you had no idea what issues he was having and Kuroo didn't want to argue first thing in the morning. Snatching the toast his father had made, Kuroo rushed out to meet Kenma.

"Oi, Kenma!"

Kenma's eyes met his friend's form before a smirk plastered on his face, "So, how was it living as someone who's dead?"

"She broke my laptop!"

Kenma's smirk didn't die down, "Yeah, she was trying to watch the movie, but then I told her you might have watched porn earlier and she dropped it. Don't blame her, your laptop's probably filthy."

Kuroo gasped, "It is not!"

Kenma shrugged.

"I don't even want to explain to the old man what happened. He's going to whoop my ass for it, it's barely a year old. Agh, damn it."

"Kuroo," Kenma's voice suggested he was being serious, "This is strange."

He let out a sigh, "No kidding. I woke up crying," Kenma looked at him, "She's got a shit life, no offence to her. Mum's a bit cold, brother's a little shit, her best friend's a bit... strange, she gets bullied by this dumb loudmouth, and the guy she liked practically tried to assault her."

"She wasn't too happy here either, from what I've heard," Kenma said, "Her mum passed away because of an accident and her aunt brought her here. Her aunt's a monster, though. Barely cared for her. Drove her to the edge until..."

Kenma felt his heart constrict uncomfortably. Sure, she had broken his laptop but that was minor compared to the changes he'd made in your life. Just thinking about it made him wonder how you'd take it, but there was something strange overall regarding the entire timeline of it all. If you were dead in the present life, how did it matter what these small changes instigate? If anything, Kuroo understood that it was your depression that drove you to the edge; but, considering what he'd done yesterday, standing up for herself when she clearly had not before, Kuroo wondered if it would make a difference at all.

"Need to know more about why she... you know."

Kenma nodded, "So you think it'll happen again?"

Kuroo thought of the tears that leaked out of your eyes that morning he woke up as you. He nodded, a serious gleam in his gold eyes. It better, he thought, his stomach twisted as he remembered hearing of your death for the first time.

"What about practice yesterday?"

"Didn't have it. Nekomata's pretty pissed. Gave you a mask and she moved around pretending you were sick."

Kuroo sighed with relief but felt worse when he thought of the welcome you might be getting later today. He understood that the events might have already occurred but if Kuroo's swapped into your body and if that made any change in the timeline of events, if that meant you could come out of this alive, he wouldn't mind. No one deserved to be pushed to an extent like that, and whether you knew it or not, you were worthy of so much more. He'd gone through your notes, he'd gone through a few of your scribbles and he could understand that you were a hard-worker. You wanted to move to Tokyo and live a city life, you wanted a better life for yourself and he could see just from one day that you were striving for it. Sure, you were a tad bit insecure, judging from how Akio had spoken of you, but Kuroo knew you were so much more than what you thought of yourself.

He didn't know why he felt this way, but he didn't want you to go down the way you did. And if these swaps made a difference, then he'd ensure that the difference was good.

The more the day progressed, the more he thought about what you were doing. While he knew that his timeline was set in the future and that yours was from a year ago, it still felt like you were there, going to school, managing the bullying, the idiotic crush you had on that jerk. He knew that it was just because of living in your body for a day that he cared and that until now, despite learning you had died, he had no idea who you were, and while he did feel bad for you, it was only after this did it feel a tad bit personal.

A week passed before Kuroo woke up as you again.

Instantly, his hands rushed to your breasts and a large drunk grin plastered on his face. I've missed you two, he thought before finding that the screen dividing your brother's side of the room was open and your brother was staring at you—Kuroo—intently.

"What are you doing, nee-chan?"

Kuroo gasped before throwing a pillow at the little boy, before hearing him groan and throw it back. It wasn't that the little boy, Takeru, was a little shit, it was just that he seemed to have the ability to be around when he wasn't needed. Suddenly, as if he were being pulled out of a stupor he realized that he hadn't woken up with tears in his eyes. Turning to young Takeru, Kuroo gestured for the boy to come closer. Takeru listened and crouched beside Kuroo, before waiting intently.

"If I had memory loss and forgot the entire day of yesterday, how would you describe what happened to me?"

Takeru hummed before tapping his chin a couple of times, "You din't 'ave a good day yesterday," Ah, damn, "You fought with mum and she hitchu," Kuroo winced, "but I think ya were mean ta 'er, 'cause she was cryin'. You were cryin' too, sayin' how you were sorry butchu din't tell mum that so ya were cryin' for nothin'. Naru-nee came'oer, but she had ta leave after some time. And in school," Takeru shrugged, "I don't know 'cause yer in high school and I'm in elementary."

Kuroo ruffled Takeru's head before smiling a bit. Seems like you had quite the day, he thought before hearing Takeru say something strange.

"You should talk to 'kaa-chan," Kuroo's eyes widened, "She misses ya. She tells me when we pick salt. She misses ya, nee-chan."

(y/n) moved to Tokyo because her mum passed away in an accident, right? Kuroo thought before narrowing his eyes, What kind of accident was it? And what happened to Takeru?

Heading to the living room, Kuroo noticed your mother near the kitchen. Her face was puffy, and it looked like she had cried herself to sleep the night before. Kuroo knew it was not in his place to say or do anything, but there was only one thing he could conceive that could perhaps help in this situation. Whatever it is, if we can at least avoid her mother's misunderstanding, then maybe, (y/n) can stay behind.

"Kaa-chan," It was strange for Kuroo to be calling someone that after years, "About yesterday—"

In one instant, your mother turned to face Kuroo, you, and her eyes filled with tears. She instantly wiped them away before nodding.

"I've made breakfast—"

"Please," Kuroo said, "I might not say this often, but... I miss you more than you know. I know things aren't okay and I know I might act differently sometimes, but you need to know I'm always here for you. Just talk to me, okay?"

Your mother stared at Kuroo like you were another person; which was true, but it wasn't like she'd notice.

"I sometimes forget ya are yer father's daughter," your mother said, chuckling, "Yer so sweet, baby. I'm sorry for hittin' ya."

"I'm... sorry for raising my voice."

Your mother knew you hadn't raised your voice. Your mother also probably knew that something extraordinary was going on, but just to see her daughter smile and nod at her made her feel strangely content. A hand reached toward Kuroo and grazed against his, no your, cheek, and he felt tears sting the back of his eyelids.

"I'll try ta be a bit more nicer, yeah?"

Kuroo chuckled before feeling his the back of his throat hurt. He nodded, because, well, what else could he do? Breakfast that morning was relatively milder, there was an air of ease spread around and while he wanted no credit, Kuroo's heart bubbled with a bit of pride. It wasn't too intense, Kuroo felt the same sort of penchant luck he would feel if after casually tossing something across the room and it hits his target so crisply and perfectly that he feels no desire even to attempt another shot. While walking to school, Kuroo waved at Takeru before turning to spot Naru waiting outside her house. Running to her, Kuroo slapped the girl's back before grinning widely.

"Yer the boy!"

Kuroo felt his heart drop, "How'd you know?"

"If (y/n) ever let 'erself smile like that, that'd be the day," Naru chuckled, "We've got tests today, yer on the worst possible day."

Kuroo felt his heart drop, but that wasn't because of the tests. Oh shit, he thought before realizing that today was one of the practice matches scheduled between Fukurodani and Nekoma, and you were there in his place. Oh, fuck, he thought before running a hand through your hair, before stopping himself. Wow, he thought, your hair is so smooth. He remembered touching your hair before, but was it always this smooth?

"You look like yer constipated," Naru said, staring at his face. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Nothing I can do about now." Kuroo said, sighing. We're losing to Fukurodani, and I lost a bet to Bokuto. Great.

"How's she been doing so far?"

Naru hummed, "Better, I think. She ain't cleanin' her desk, though. The names are still 'ere."

"Names?"

Naru cringed, "You'll see 'em. People've stopped talkin' to 'er, but that's surprisingly helpful. And... Oh, yeah! She got a job."

Oh, fuck me.

"What job?"

Naru shrugged, "Tis easy, just regular shop keepin'. The general store has obaa-san watchin' it over, so (y/n) decided to help out for some dough."

Ah, that's doable, he thought before saying, "What test?"

"Math. She hates math."

Kuroo sighed with relief. I'll give her a gift for ruining her life the last time, he chuckled before entering the school, only to find no one looking at him. He paused for a moment before feeling Naru turn and look at him, suddenly having frozen to the spot. It was as if he was an outcast, living an invisible life—no one could see him, his life didn't matter, his existence as such was minute. He turned to Naru before she offered him a kind smile and a nod suggesting that yes, this was how things were.

Kuroo only let it fuel his determination further.

Entering class, he noticed that (y/n)'s desk was riddled with insults, which boiled his blood. With his eyebrow ticking at how unabashedly disgusting this was, Kuroo took out (y/n)'s kerchief before wiping the insults off. He heard a few snickers before he turned to them and glared, only to have them swallow their chuckles. Kuroo returned to swiping the names off the desk before letting out a breath and sitting down.

"Those names are gonna be back tomorrow." He heard someone say and Kuroo knew responding would be bad for (y/n).

But, he really couldn't help it.

"And they'll be off just as quickly as they came. Maybe, the hand that writes them will be off too."

It was then he realized that (y/n)'s voice, when used in such a sweet yet dangerous manner, was a tad bit arousing. She could be menacing if she wanted to, but for that, he knew she had to be pushed a little more. He didn't know the entire story, but he knew that if he allowed himself to be completely immersed in what she went through, then there was a chance he could save her. He wanted to save her, he wanted her happy—and knew it was because he was able to live as her.

The test went really well; he wasn't sure if (y/n) was really good at math, but judging from what Naru had said, you hated the subject so that meant you weren't too good. That didn't matter, you were probably going to score more than you ever had before. On his way out with Naru, he spotted Akio at a distance, before he gave him the stink-eye, before Akio walked away, scoffing.

"What'd that pig say after?"

"Came and called 'er a slut the next day," Kuroo frowned, "But, she was surprisingly mature 'bout it. Didn't bother with 'im. Heartbroken (y/n) is the most productive (y/n). Got 'erself a job."

Every cell in your body screamed that you wanted to survive. If he could see it, if Naru could see it, then why couldn't you?

That night, he left a message for you in your mirror. I apologized to your mom for you. Scored a good number on your math test. Cleaned your desk for you. Please keep it that way. And I forgive you for the laptop. Kuroo sighed before heading to your bed, before allowing himself to rest.

When he woke up, the first thing he saw was black—there was a note stuck to his face. Blinking, he pulled the note to see something written in big bold letters.

Kuroo Tetsuroo, you self-centered pig!

He narrowed his eyes at the accusation before sitting up and scratching his head. What the hell did I do? You're the one that broke my laptop! Turning to the side, he saw a completely clean desk, with books stacked like a sane person's desk, and his uniform was once again hanging neatly ironed from the hanger by his door. His right eyebrow twitched before he walked to the bathroom, and in his mirror, big red letters from his red marker had been etched ruthlessly: How dare you scream at Akio-kun?! How dare you mess up my life the way you did?! I was fine before you came along! I didn't even do anything the whole time I was you and I could have easily messed things up!

His eyebrow twitched dangerously before grabbing his phone and calling Kenma.

"What happened yesterday?"

"Ah, you got a stomach bug and sat out during practice. Bokuto called you a coward."

"Ah, fuck."

"And she finally watched the movie."

Did she now? Kuroo felt an odd sense of anger and misplaced sort of betrayal lodge in his heart. However, these feelings were soon going to be replaced.

When you woke up as Kuroo, you didn't get startled right away. You had expected it by now and in a strange way, you hoped for it; you wanted to mess small things up a little bit by behaving differently, just as he had done with little to no consideration to accommodate in your life. You frowned before not even being bothered with the bed hair and rushed downwards before noticing Kuroo's father by the counter.

"Otou-san," You weren't sure how Kuroo addressed his father, if Kuroo even addressed him at all, but it felt very strange for you to use that word after having not used it in years, "Good morning!"

Kuroo's father turned to you with horror before freezing as you approached him and gave him a hug. You tightened it gradually, feeling his father freeze up at how uncharacteristic it was for his son to greet him that way.

"Did you have a bad dream again?"

You froze before staying that way, not expecting this.

"Been years, I thought. Now you're hugging me like a moron. You know it's just a dream, right?"

You pulled away before feeling your heart sink at the way his father was looking at you. He let out a sigh before shaking his head.

"It's not your fault, idiot. Separations happen. People... people die. I know we never had this talk but—"

"N-No. I..." It feels wrong that his father was talking about something so personal with you, thinking you were his son. "I'm sorry—"

"That's the thing, Tetsu," His father smiled bitterly, "You shouldn't be, son. You of all people shouldn't be."

Breakfast was quiet but tranquil. It wasn't weird, and you noticed Kuroo's grandparents smile at you and wave, wanting to catch some more sleep before having breakfast. Your heart gave way at seeing such a cute old couple hold each other's hands and help each other around, and you wondered what kind of boy Kuroo was. Heading out, you noticed Kenma there again. Leaning down, you smiled at him before saying, "Kenma-kun!"

Kenma's eyes widened before saying, "(s/n)?"

You nodded sheepishly, before rubbing the back of your, no Kuroo's, neck. Kenma sighed before letting out a chuckle, causing you to tilt your head at him confusingly.

"What's up?"

"Of all days," Kenma said, an evil glint in his eye, "Today's the swap day."

"Why? What's today?"

Kenma said, "Well, let's just say you can't miss volleyball practice."

Wanting to mess with Kuroo a little bit more, you noticed the line of girls looking at you from the corner and shot them a sweet smile, before feeling Kenma nudge your stomach with his elbow.

"Are you trying to get him in trouble?" You nodded pridefully, "Then try harder, Kuroo always smiles at girls."

You felt annoyed at his words, but you sort of expected Kuroo to be a bit of a flirt.

"Is he a flirt?"

"He doesn't realize he's doing it. He's just a dork."

You giggled at that before Kenma turned to you and cocked an eyebrow.

"I know it's hard for you, but try to be a boy, okay?"

You let out a breath before nodding and heading over to your, no Kuroo's, classroom. You noticed how his bench was devoid of names, and your heart shrunk at the thought. You'd gotten used to seeing the names on your desk, but right then, the emptiness made you remember where you had come from. Kuroo was loved and revered for being the volleyball captain, and being handsome, and had friends who loved and cared for him. You let out a breath before trying to remain in character, finding no energy in your heart to play with Kuroo's life.

You knew he had to take your math test, but you believed he'd ace it. Seeing how good he was at math, and how Kuroo was a year older, after all. You wondered if he'd fail on purpose because you had broken his laptop, but your heart told you he wasn't that petty. But, what I'm doing is petty, right? You frowned before thinking of how Akio-kun approached you the other day, and the names on your desk.

After school, you followed Kenma into the gym, your heart pounding the entire time. You tugged at Kenma's sleeve right after changing, before he sighed.

"Just... smirk at everyone and cock your right eyebrow and try and make fun of the really short guy, Yaku, and be rude to the really tall guy, Lev. And have you ever played volleyball before?"

Your heart sunk as you nodded slightly, "A few times in middle school."

Kenma chuckled, "Serves him right for being cocky all the damn time," You narrowed your eyes, "Let's see how it goes."

Walking out, you saw Kuroo's volleyball team for the first time. They weren't even looking at you, but then you noticed the really tall guy that Kenma said was called Lev. You gulped before shooting him a deadpan as he approached you.

"So the thing—"

"Lev," Kenma interrupted, saving your life, "Did you practice what I told you?"

"Eh?"

"Look at the ball while smacking it. Don't lower your elbows. You need to prioritize speed over height—"

As Kenma was talking, you could see Lev step backward in absolute horror. You wanted to laugh at the way silent and smooth Kenma turned into an intimidating mentor, but the interaction they had was simply just too sweet to ignore.

"Wait! Don't say all that at once!" Lev begged, causing you to chuckle meanly.

"By the way," You swore you could feel ice around Kenma's shoulders now, penetrating straight to Lev, "I've told you all this before."

Letting out a breath, Kenma calmed down before shooting you a look and then turning to Lev, "You're still nowhere as good as Shoyo."

Shoyo?

"Damn it! I'm definitely going to turn this around!" Lev said, pumping his fist in the air.

A moment later, a bunch of differently dressed students entered the gym. Your eyes widened a tad bit before finding Kenma's, who simply shrugged and alerted you to come to the side. While it received weird looks that you were being too quiet and being summoned by Kenma, you had no other choice but to move away. The short person, Yaku, gave you the stink eye, and you wondered if he liked Kuroo at all.

"Bokuto looks like an owl and is probably going to smother you," You felt your stomach flip, "Akaashi is quieter and won't bother you. And the others don't talk to you as much. Kuroo flirts with the female managers, but it won't look weird if you don't talk to them today. Just say your stomach hurts or something."

"Won't that make Kuroo look bad?"

Kenma smirked, "Everything will make him look bad, you can just hope to reduce the damage."

"Hey, hey, hey! Kuroo-kun! Ready to lose today?"

"A-Ah," You gulped, unaware of what to call him and said the first thing that came to mind, "You're the one that's gonna lose, o-owl bastard!"

Bokuto blinks at what you called him and a second later bursts out laughing. Akaashi nodded at you before greeting you quietly. Kenma shot you a thumbs up before you let out a breath of relief.

"Haven't heard you call me that in a while. You're definitely going to lose!"

In the middle of practice, you gulped before clutching your stomach and moving to the side. Strangely, it was Bokuto who rushed toward you as if something was wrong.

"Oi, oi, oi, you look pale there, Kuroo-kun! You alright?"

"Haven't been," You seriously considered getting a job as an actress, "All day."

Akaashi turned to the coach before bowing once, and it was Yaku who rushed to you before placing a calm hand on your back.

"What's happening to you?"

"Must be the food—"

"Ah, damn," Yaku turned to the coach before saying, "I think Kuroo's got a stomach bug! Let's sub him out."

"Hm, maybe," Bokuto tapped his chin and said cheekily, "You're just scared of losing and your body's reacting that way."

"Please ignore him when he's being that way, Kuroo-san." Akaashi said, looking straight at you.

After practice, which you stayed behind to watch, constantly making weird faces to show you were in pain, Kenma accompanied you home. It was quiet for a bit as you continued to walk with him, not knowing what to say.

"About Kuroo-kun's mother," You began, "His father told me something today."

Kenma turned to you and blinked, "What'd he say?"

"That it wasn't Kuroo-kun's fault."

"Ah."

"What did that mean?"

"I can't tell you."

You pouted, but you understood where Kenma was coming from. You knew almost nothing about Kuroo at all, and even if he had turned a bit of your life around, you knew he knew nothing about yours. Maybe, by trying to alter his life a little bit, you'd only sunk to make him act more like himself, which was nothing close to what you had initially planned on doing. There was no point in trying to shame Kuroo, when in hindsight, he had simply just tried to stand up to the people who wronged you.

Junko never bothered you for notes after that, and Akio-kun left you alone, resorting to just giving you ugly looks whenever he passed by you. You'd lost every bit of feelings you had for him after Naru told you he'd tried to assault you, for which Kuroo had merely punched him out of defense. You wondered what you'd have done if you were in that situation. But, I was, you thought before feeling the back of your eyelids burn, I was in that situation and even then Kuroo-kun was the one who saved me.

It felt odd that someone you had never even met was helping you out like this, and it made you feel weirdly crippled. That night, you finally allowed yourself to watch Kimi no Na Wa on Kuroo's computer, which was brand-new. You made careful effort to ensure you wouldn't drop it this time.

However, you wanted to let him have a piece of your mind. Heading to the bathroom, you scribbled on the mirror with his whiteboard marker and then wrote a post-it note to stick on his face as you slept. However, the real notes that you wanted him to see where on his desk, beneath a book you knew he might miss. You managed to clear out his pigeon coop of a table and stacked everything the way you would have for yourself. It was after that did you find yourself writing what you really wanted him to know.

I know you're trying to help me, and I want to thank you. But, I can't. If I allow you to keep helping me, then I will never help myself.

But, thank you. For everything.

You let out a breath before sticking the post-it to your face and lying down. It had been a strange day.

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuroo #tetsuro kuro #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo tetsuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo #kuroo fluff #haikyuu #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro angst #kuroo tetsuro headcanons #kuroo tetsurō #kuuro tetsuro #kimi no na wa #kuro #tetsuro kuroo x reader

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stanbillyhargrove · 4 years ago

Text

Demons - The Rewrite

Chapter 23: I Can See The Pain In Your Eyes

Billy’s POV

Steve and I eventually made our way back into the house to find Cat curled into the corner of the couch, a steaming mug between her hands. Her eyes looked red and glazed as she stared into the mug and I took note of the plate in front of her. Steve must have brought her a pancake before coming outside. I swallowed thickly when I got closer and noticed that a couple bites of it was gone.

I knelt in front of her, placed my hands on her knees and whispered, “thank you.”

Cat closed her eyes and leaned forward to press her forehead against mine.

“You okay? You feel warm, do you want to go back to sleep?”

She hummed and nodded her head, slumping against me a bit.

“Okay, Baby,” I soothed.

I gentled the cup from her hands and placed it on the table before laying across the couch and pulled her between my legs to rest her head on my chest. She settled into me, humming softly as I ran my hand lazily up and down her arm.

Steve settled into the chair, wiping his face with a sigh, “fucking tired.”

I nodded, idly drumming my fingers on Cat’s arm. Eventually the room was filled with their soft breathing as Cat and Steve fell asleep. My mind was racing though and I couldn’t relax, I just wanted to leave, drive too fast and find something to put my fists through. My whole body thrummed with an energy that I couldn’t shake. When I couldn’t stand it anymore I carefully slid Cat off me and left her sleeping on the couch to pace the kitchen, debating leaving. Cat would be fine here with Steve, would probably be better for her to have Steve’s patience, his kindness. I looked outside and saw Rocky laying in the snow, looking bored as he stared at the house. With a huff, I decided to go outside to grab him.

“Come on, Bud,” I mumbled, clipping a leash to his collar.

I walked around the house and out of the driveway, Rocky dancing excitedly beside my legs. Once we were down the street a bit I picked up the pace, eventually running as fast as I could through the streets. The burning in my legs and lungs distracted me from thinking about what was waiting for me back at Steve’s.

When I returned to the house a couple hours later, I was covered in sweat and gasping desperately for breath.

It didn't matter how fast I ran, or how far. Once I stopped, the weight of everything settled back down on my shoulders. Threatened to crush me under it.

Inside, Steve was sitting on the end of the couch, Cat wrapped up in a blanket with her head in his lap while he watched TV.

He looked up at me when I came in, “hey, where’d you go?”

“Took the dog for a run,” I huffed, letting Rocky go so he could find a comfy spot to lay down.

“Thought maybe you took off at first, then I saw the car still in the driveway.”

I looked to Cat’s face, seeing that she was still sleeping before answering, “thought about it.”

Steve’s mouth tightened, “well, I’m glad you didn’t. She needs you.”

“She’s got you,” I shrugged, wiping my brow along my forearm.

Steve bristled, “you and I both know that’s bullshit. I can’t do this alone, there's only so much I can do by myself. You need to get it together."

My jaw ticked as I grabbed my keys and went to grab my clothes from the bathroom. I can't be here right now. It's too much, I need to leave.

Steve cornered me in the hallway, stretching an arm out in front of me so I couldn’t shoulder past him.

My lip tensed up in a sneer, “fuck off, Harrington.”

Steve’s arm dropped to press two fingers to my chest, “what? You’re gunna walk out on her now? You wanted her so bad, figured out she’s broken and now you’re gunna toss her to the side? That’s really fucking great.”

“Harrington,” I growled, “I came back, didn’t I? Even though that’s not Cat in there, I didn’t leave her behind even though I don’t know who that is anymore.”

Steve’s voice raised as he got angrier, “you don’t know who she is anymore? That’s bullshit and you know it! You knew who she was yesterday! And you knew she was fucked up this whole time, you just didn’t want to see it!”

I ground my teeth. Tried to get past Steve but he stayed still.

“I’m serious. You need to get it together. We need to be strong, she might have to be hospitalized."

"Hospitalized? You mean like a psych ward?"

He nodded.

"No, no fucking way! She's fine here with you!"

"She's not fine here! She's sick!"

"Sick! Not crazy!" I shouted.

"She's suicidal, Billy!"

"So hide the fucking knives! We can take care of her."

"I've been trying to take care of her, it didn't work! You called her a zombie! How the fuck do you think we'll be able to take care of her?"

There was a small whimper behind Steve and when I looked over his shoulder, Cat was standing in the hallway, blanket tucked around her chin.

“I can go home,” she whispered, “if I’m a problem.”

Steve’s face fell, “no, that’s not what-”

“No, Baby,” I soothed, anger mostly dissolving as I stepped around Steve to cradle her in my arms, “you’re not a problem. We’re just talking, aren’t we, Steve?”

He nodded stiffly, “yeah, just talking.”

“I’m going to go pick up Max, you wanna come with me? We’ll go back to your place? I’m gunna have to go home for a bit but I can probably sneak out to spend the night if you want. Maybe Steve can stay with you?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, “of course I can. I’ll be there around dinnertime.”

Cat nodded slowly, “okay.”

I ushered to her to the front door, grabbing my jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders so she’d drop the blanket.

“Five o'clock, Steve,” I muttered, “that’s when I have to leave.”

Steve nodded, “yeah, got it.”

–

I pulled up to Max’s school with Cat in the front seat, clutching my jacket around her and staring out the window listlessly. She’d been quiet and unresponsive the whole drive.

I reached over and laid my hand above her knee, squeezing gently until she looked at me, “you know you’re not a problem, right? I don’t think that at all. I just want you to get better, to be your happy self again,” I swallowed the knot in my throat and cupped her cheek in my hand, “I just want my girlfriend back.”

Cat looked at me wearily and leaned into my hand, “I heard you, at Steve’s. You said you don’t know who I am anymore.”

I sighed, withering a little bit, “that’s not..I didn’t mean it like that..it’s just, this isn’t you. You’re not yourself right now.”

She frowned and looked from me to out the window, “you know I can’t just flip a switch and be how you want me to be, right? I’ll still be the one who tried to kill herself, who was drugged and, and raped and if that’s too much for you, if you want to be with someone better, easier, then that’s okay. I won’t-”

“Shut up,” I growled, “you know that’s not what I meant, what I want. I just want to help you get better, I want to be here for you. I fucking love you, you know that, right?”

Cat nodded against my hand, “yeah, I know.”

I looked past her at the string of kids leaving the school and saw Max running down the stairs, hair flying out behind her as she ran to the car.

“There’s Max,” I smiled tightly and pressed a quick kiss to Cat’s forehead before getting out of the car and closing the door behind me.

Max noticed me get out of the car and waved at Cat in the window before coming around to my side, “hey Billy, how’s Cat?”

I leaned against the Camaro and lowered my voice, “not good, Max. We need to try to lift her spirits. I was thinking we’d go to her place, you know, so we don’t have to deal with Neil. You got any ideas? Girly shit that might make her happy?”

Max cocked her head to the side, “yeah, I think so. We’ll have to stop at home first though.”

I gave her a small smile and pulled her into my side for a quick hug, “yeah, okay. Thanks, kid.”

We stopped quickly at our house so Max could run in and I turned to face Cat again.

“Baby,” I murmured, taking her face in my hands, “I don’t...Idon’t know what to do here. I need you to talk to me, tell me what’s going on, what you need, okay? I’m trying, I’m really fucking trying to help you but I need you to try too. Can you do that for me?”

Cat closed her eyes and leaned forward to touch her forehead to mine, “I’ll try, B.”

I tilted her face up to kiss her gently, “thank you.”

–

I had taken Cat into the bathroom when we first got to her house and dutifully wrapped her arms in new bandages that I was sure Max had seen when we came back to the living room but she kept her word to me and pretended not to notice, she didn’t stare, didn’t ask, just started talking. Max had grabbed a few bottles of nail polish from Susan and patiently painted Cat’s finger and toe nails a soft peach color.

Something warm to cover the blue tint her nails had taken on.

When Cat’s nails were dry, she had Max pick a color and slowly painted her nails, a light smile ghosting over her lips while they talked. Max was telling her all about her group of friends, their current game of DnD, how they were determined to beat the high score on a game at the arcade. She also told Cat that after the last time we had helped her with her homework she aced a quiz and asked if Cat would keep helping her. It took a while for Cat to start giving more than tired nods and short answers but she eventually was smirking and giggling along with my sister while I lounged quietly on the couch, watching as they enjoyed their girl time. It was nearing five o'clock when I heard Steve’s car pull into the driveway and I slid off the couch to meet him outside.

I tapped a cigarette out and held it in my lips to light it as I waited for Steve to join me on the porch.

“Hey, how’s she doing?”

I took a long drag off the cigarette and let out a puff of smoke as I smiled, “better, I think. Max and her were having a good time. She’s actually talking now but I think she’s getting tired again. I’ll be back later tonight, have to wait until Neil’s asleep to sneak out. Get her to eat something.”

Steve nodded, “yeah, okay. I’ll try.”

I flicked my cigarette into the driveway, my smile fading as my voice lowered, “force feed her if you have to.”

Steve’s POV

After Billy left, I looked through Cat’s kitchen for something to eat and decided on spaghetti and garlic bread. It wasn’t long before the smell of garlic and tomato sauce hung heavy in the air, making my stomach rumble. Cat hadn’t talked to me since I got here so when I turned around and saw her standing in the door of the kitchen I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Jesus! You scared me,” I huffed.

She smirked and twisted her fingers in the sleeves of Billy’s jacket, “smells good, Stevie.”

“I made spaghetti and garlic bread,” I smiled, happy that she was up and talking to me again, “it’s almost ready if you want to grab plates and something to drink.”

Cat nodded and stepped around me to grab a plate from the cupboard and set it on the counter. After, she went into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of diet coke and set it down.

I frowned, “Cat, you need a plate too."

She scrunched her eyebrows together and shook her head before grabbing another plate down, “oh, right..."

"You feeling okay?" I asked, concerned.

She nodded, "fine. Just tired."

When the food was done, I scooped it onto the two plates and handed one to Cat who looked weirdly emotionless as she stared at the plate.

I carried my food to the living room and sat down on the couch, joined soon after by Cat. She flicked on the TV before picking at the food in front of her, moving it slowly around the plate. I watched her slide the food around her plate for a bit before clearing my throat.

“I really don’t want to have to blend that and pour it into your mouth,” I muttered through a mouth full of food.

Her lip twitched up with a smirk, “that might be easier."

“Well if you don’t eat it yourself I just might,” I grumbled.

She stared at me for a second, like she was testing me, debating whether I’d follow through or not and then stuck a single noodle in her mouth, humming at the taste.

“See? Is that so hard?”

Cat scowled, “Stevie, you have to know by now that it’s not that easy.”

“Okay, well tell me what’s going on, cause I don’t understand. You know you look like you’re dying, right? You are dying. I don’t understand why you want that.”

Cat scoffed and dropped the plate onto the table, "I’ve got it under control, it’s just a few pounds.”

“A few? You’ve like, halved since I met you. Like, at that party when I brought you home I knew you were sick and there’s so much less of you now! I don’t know how your mom hasn’t put you in a fucking hospital yet. Is that what you want? To be force fed in a hospital? To die and leave me and Billy without our best friend?”

“No..” she mumbled, “I just.. Stevie, I’m fine.”

I set my plate onto the table and reached across the couch to grab her shoulders, pulling her so she was looking at me, “listen to me, Cat. You’ve tried to kill yourself twice and I’ve stayed quiet, I’ve been trying to help you but I will get you hospitalized if you don’t wake up. Eat your fucking food.”

Cat flinched when I let her go and pulled herself to the edge of the couch, hunching into herself as she ate. Sadness washed over me as I looked at her but I knew I couldn’t sit by quietly anymore, I had to try to push her.

My final stand.

She finished a quarter of the plate and then set it back down with a withering sigh before settling back into the corner of the couch. It didn’t take long before I noticed her starting to nod off.

I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and laid it beside me, “come here,” I mumbled.

She looked at me and hesitated for a second before sliding across the couch into my lap. I covered her with the blanket and leaned back against the couch.

"You hurt me," I muttered.

"I know," she whispered, turning to look at me.

"A lot."

"I know.."

I looked down at her and softened. I wanted so badly to hold her close. To kiss her.

I wanted to breathe life back into her lungs.

“I’m sorry, Stevie,” she murmured, “that you have to deal with me.”

I sighed and looked away, “I don’t have to deal with you, I want to help you. I’m sorry, I just...I..I don’t want you to give up.”

Later on, when I started feeling my eyes grow heavy, I scooped Cat up into my arms and carried her to her room and laid her in her bed as gently as I could.

She still woke up, her eyes fluttering open to meet mine, “Stevie?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you leaving?” She whispered.

“I was gunna sleep on the couch,” I murmured.

Cat whined a little, her breath hitching, “stay, please. Don’t leave me alone.”

“Okay,” I soothed, climbing into the bed beside her, “okay, I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

She slid forward to tuck her face into my chest and clutched at my shirt as she fell back asleep with my arms wrapped around her.

We were woken up hours later by the loud thud of someone sliding through the window into her bedroom.

I sat up with a start and fumbled to flick on the lamp beside the bed, illuminating Billy crouched on the ground with his head turned away from the light.

“Jesus, Hargrove,” I huffed, “ever hear of knocking? Or a fucking door?”

“Old habits,” he grumbled, keeping his face turned down to the ground.

“B..?” Cat looked over at him and slid out of the bed to pad quietly in front of him.

When he didn’t say anything, didn’t look at her, she took his face in her hands and turned it up and into the light, revealing a new bruise on his jawbone as well as a small cut under his eye.

Instantly I saw a whole other side to both of them. I’d seen Cat hurt, caring, kind and broken but I’d never seen this before. The way her whole body tensed like it was made of steel instead of glass, the anger that burned in her eyes and made her jaw clench. She was seething, her own issues forgotten to care for Billy, to run gentle hands over his wounds. It was strange how alive she was now, when before she’d been near comatose.

I’d seen Billy with fire in his eyes, like he could tear the world apart with his bare hands, and I’d seen him crumble but I was taken back by the hurt and shame on his face when she turned him into the light. His eyes were locked on the ground and his whole body slumped forward like she was the only thing holding him up. He was soft, pliable in her hands, letting Cat twist and turn him to check him over.

Vulnerable, I’d never seen Billy Hargrove vulnerable.

She thumbed gently over his bruised cheek and muttered, “he did this didn’t he?”

Billy didn’t say anything, he just leaned his face heavy into her hands and wrapped his hands gently around her waist.

I was pretty sure I knew but I still asked, “who did that?"

I watched his lip pull back in a sneer, “go fuck yourself, Harrington,” he growled at the same time as Cat murmured, “Neil.”

Billy’s shoulders pulled back, squared up as his jaw ticked against her hand, “Cat. Don’t,” he warned.

Cat looked up at him, “B, it’s okay. He’s okay.”

I thought of the snide comments Billy's father had said in passing. The muffled shouting I heard through their front door before I drove away.

“Neil? Isn’t that your dad?”

Billy’s hands clenched into fists against her back as Cat turned her face to look at me, “yeah, Stevie.”

My eyebrows knit together, “Why haven’t you gone to Hopper?”

“What? Go cry to the cops like a fucking pussy? End up in a shitty foster home? Get Max put into the system? No fucking thanks, it’s fine,” he growled.

Cat smoothed her thumb against his cheek, “B, shh it’s okay. Come on, let’s get some ice.”

She took his hand in hers and led him to the kitchen with me trailing behind, still shocked.

“What about your mom? Wouldn’t she become your guardian? Or maybe someone you know could-”

“Jesus, Harrington,” Billy whipped around and sneered at me, “what? I’ll live with you? Mister, my parents don’t give a shit about me and are across the fucking country? Cat’s mom’s never fucking around either and Susan doesn’t have any money without Neil. It’s fine. Leave it.”

That stung but suddenly, I understood. I understood why Billy was always so angry, why he stomped around ready to challenge anyone who got in his way. I understood why he hadn’t fully caught on to Cat’s issues and why he couldn’t understand how she was so nice. I understood why Cat hadn’t told him anything, how she thought it would be better for him to not have to bear the weight of her issues on top of his own.

“Okay, well, if I can do anything, I’m here,” I offered as Cat bundled ice into a towel and handed it to him.

Billy grunted as he pressed the cold towel to his skin and turned away from me to go sit in the living room. Cat paused and walked over to me to place a hand on my shoulder.

She spoke in a low voice so Billy couldn’t hear, “Stevie, he’ll appreciate it later. I know he will, he needs a brother, needs more than me. Billy’s just not good with emotions and stuff, you know?”

I nodded, “yeah, I get it. I should...I should get going."

Cat gave me a small smile, her face full of a tired kindness, “you can stay, Stevie. It’s late, don’t want you falling asleep on the drive home,” she patted my arm before turning and going to join Billy in the living room.

I waited until Cat pulled a slumping Billy back to her room before I made myself comfortable on the couch and quickly fell back asleep.

@charmed-asylum

#billy hargrove #stranger things #fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #billy hargrove fic #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #fanfiction

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leaves-of-three · 7 years ago

Text

Day Ten || Hi

Connor Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 5952

Summary: Connor and Reader continue to attempt to figure their shit out. [This is part of an in progress series. You can follow along here.]

Warnings: Mentions of previous sexual assault. Mentions of suicide.

Author Note: I’m emotional today. Technically I could possibly stop the series here?? Ten is a nice solid number. But also I could go on for a thousand more days. It can be up to whoever reads these. Idk if people like new things or like to stick with the same stuff. (I personally love reading series that involve my fav charas but that’s just me). Let me know, I guess. I love you and I will kiss all of your precious faces. xKatie

Y/N: Today 12:02 pm: I’m sorry I’m not at school again today. Sorry I can’t eat lunch with you. I’ll text you instead and you can pretend I’m there.

Evan: Today 12:03 pm: It’s okay. I’m in the library by myself. I’m watching a robin in a tree. It’s cute.

Y/N: Today 12:03 pm: Name it Theodore.

Evan: Today 12:03 pm: Theodore the Robin. He says hi.

Y/N: Today 12:04 pm: Hi Theodore. I’m sorry I’m not there to see you.

Evan: Today 12:06 pm: [a slightly blurry picture message of the robin sitting in the tree]

Y/N: Today 12:07 pm: Awww! I love Theodore.

Y/N: Today 12:07 pm: Can you come over my house after school? I miss you. I could really use a friendly face.

Y/N: Today 12:20 pm: Evan?

You tossed your phone onto you bed in a huff and rolled onto your back. You stared brooding up at the ceiling. This was the third day in a row you had missed school. After yesterday, you had fallen into a depression. You stayed in bed and stared blankly at a wall for most of the afternoon. Your dad had taken that as a sign that you were very ill and let you stay home again today. He didn’t know about all your previous absences. To be honest, you didn’t care anymore. You didn’t want to go to school, you didn’t want to see Connor, you didn’t want anything. You just wanted to disappear. If you hadn’t befriended Evan than you might have fallen into that possibility. But he needed you. He didn’t have anyone either. You weren’t selfish enough to abandon him like that. Or your father. He had already lost your mom. It would kill him if he lost you too.

So you were stuck.

You were stuck living in a life you didn’t want. A life that hurt you at every turn. You had no concept of how to fully process what had happened to you. A therapist might help you unpack everything but that would mean you’d have to talk to your dad. He’d wonder why you’d need one in the first place, then you’d have to go looking for one, then you’d need to pay money and you’d be forced to stare your demons in the face. The thought alone made you shiver. No, like you should have with Connor, had to keep quiet. You couldn’t bare to see anyone else run off and leave you.

Your phone buzzed.

Evan: Today 12:24 pm: Ya that’s fine.

Evan: Today 12:24 pm: Connor Murphy just asked me about you.

Your heart sped up when you read his text. Your mouth suddenly went dry.

Y/N: Today 12:24 pm: What did he want?

Evan: Today 12:25 pm: Bell just rung. g2g to class. tell u later! bye!

“Dammit, Evan!” You said out loud to yourself. Your cat picked her head up and gave you a look of contempt for waking her from her slumber. You pet her head, “Sorry Beetle. Go back to sleep.”

You laid your own head back on your pillow and stared up at the ceiling. What did Connor want? Why was he talking to Evan about you? You licked your drying lips. The end of school couldn’t come fast enough.

Evan: Today 2:10 pm: Do you still want me to come over?

Y/N: Today 2:10 pm: YES!!!!

Evan: Today 2:11 pm: Okay my mom is going to give me a ride over then. Text u when I’m close.

Y/N: Today 2:11 pm: K

Evan: Today 2:28 pm: Almost there!

You waited anxiously by the front door, pacing back and forth. You were desperate to know what Connor had wanted. He better not have told Evan anything you said to him. You were also desperate to see Evan. It had been three days since you’d seen him. You missed him. You chewed on your nails while you waited.

The second a car pulled up in front of your house, you flung open the door and stood out on the front steps, bouncing restlessly on the balls of your feet. Evan was in the passenger side sitting next to a pretty blonde woman. She must be his mom. Before he had even fully stepped out of the car, you had run down to meet him, pulling him into a tight hug. “I missed you so much!”

He cautiously hugged you back, “You missed m-me?” He seemed surprised at the idea that someone could actually miss him.

You laughed, “Yes! You’re my friend. Of coursed I missed you.” You finally released him from your tight grip.

The woman behind the wheel cleared her throat, “Hi! I’m Heidi. I’m Evan’s mom.” She was ducking down and leaning over so she could properly see you out the passenger door.

You bent down to give her a better look and smiled politely at her, “Hello it’s nice to meet you. I’m Y/N. Evan’s been so wonderful to me. I’m lucky to have met him.”

Heidi beamed, “Oh I’m so happy to hear that. You know, he’s had such trouble making friends. I worry about him all the time. Then I saw that beautiful drawing you made on his cast. I was so pleased that he finally found someone to talk to.”

Evan blushed a deep red and gave his mom at warning look, speaking through his teeth, “Goodbye, mom.”

She flashed him an apologetic look and straightened up in her seat. “I should get going. I’ve got to get back to work. It was lovely meeting you, Y/N!”

You giggled at Evan’s embarrassment. “It was nice meeting you too, Heidi! I can drive Evan home later if he wants.”

He grabbed his backpack from the floor of the car and closed the door. Heidi blew him a kiss and waved as she drove off. Evan shrunk into his shoulders. He looked mortified. You smiled. Already you were feeling better than you had in past few days. You lead Evan towards your house. “Your mom seems really nice.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she’s great, so great. She likes to talk a lot. Lot’s of talking.” He scrunched up his face in annoyance. “Like sometimes, you’re just, like, stop talking! Ahh,” he made a wavy gesture with his hands. “Too much noise...” You listened. Sometimes you wished you had that problem. Your dad hardly ever spoke much. Evan craved the quiet, you craved the noise.

You brought him into your bedroom. He put his bag down on your desk chair and opened it up. He began pulling out books. “I’ve got all your homework from the classes we have together and I made copies of my notes for you. We started developing our pictures in photography yesterday. I can teach you how to use the dark room when you get back on Monday. Some of my pictures I took came out really nicely. I think you’re really going to like it.” He loaded the books and a pile of papers onto your desk. “You must have been really sick?”

You sat cross legged on your bed. You felt it would be rude to interrogate him about Connor first thing so you listened to him talk. “Yeah...sick...” You wished you could have told him everything but you didn’t dare risk it again. “Thank you for doing all that. You didn’t have to. How did your physics test go?”

“It was no problem! I didn’t want you to fall behind.” He turned around. You motioned for him to sit on the bed with you. He politely took his shoes off before sitting opposite you. “The test went okay. ...That’s a lie. It was awful. It was really hard. I don’t know how I’m going to pass that class if the first test already kicked my butt.”

You smiled softly, “I think we’ll just have to study harder next time. No more getting distracted by Netflix and pizza. I know Parks and Rec is a binge worthy show but it’s impossible to study with it on.”

He returned your smile, “I really missed having you there.”

It seemed like a more appropriate time to bring it up, “I’ll be back on Monday. I promise. Hey, uh, you mentioned Connor before in your text. What did he want?” You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible when you asked.

Evan looked down at his foot and tugged on the bottom of his pant leg, “He asked if you were at school. I told him you had been sick for the past few day. Then he told me to give you this.” He fumbled into his pants pocket and pulled out a folded scrap of paper. “I looked at it. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I think it’s his phone number.” He handed you the paper.

Sure enough, a string of numbers were all that was written on it. You stared down in confusion. Why would he want you to have this? He had plenty of opportunities to give you his number when you were together. Why now? “...Then what happened?”

Evan shrugged, “That was it? He asked if you were here, gave me that paper, then left. He looked...” He stopped speaking.

You looked up and tried to coax it out of him with your eyes, “Looked what?”

“Well his face was all beat up. But it was fresh. Like it had just happened. There was still blood and stuff. It was running down his chin. It looked like he got beat up real bad. I was too afraid to ask him what happened. He looked extra scary today.” Evan sighed and looked up at you, worry in his eyes. “Why did he want you to have his number? You mentioned him before. Are you-” He didn’t finish his thought but he kept stealing concerned glances at you. He seemed worried that you would be getting involved with someone like Connor.

You shook your head, “I don’t know, Ev. And you’re sure you have no idea what happened to him?”

He nodded fervently. “I was afraid to ask. I’m sorry. He looked so distracted. I don’t think he was really paying attention to anything I was saying once I told him you weren’t there. Then he left right after that.”

You forced a smile for him and patted his hand. “That’s okay. I have no idea what he would have wanted. Don’t worry about it, alright?”

Evan nervously glanced around the room. “Are you going to text him?”

“Uhm...probably not. I don’t know what he’d want with me. It’s fine.” That was a lie. You were most likely going to text him the moment Evan left later today. Connor had that effect on you. He was someone you couldn’t get out of your mind no matter how hard you wished you could. Your stomach hurt. You had more questions than answers.

“Maybe he wanted to ask you on a date?” Evan spoke softly and peered up at you bashfully through his full lashes.

You couldn’t help but give a self deprecating laugh. “Some how I don’t think that’s what he wanted.” Your smile faded. “Not even Connor Murphy would want to go on a date with me.” It was true. You were used goods. Connor had made that clear enough. He probably forgot something at your house and wanted it back. Or maybe you’d scratched up his car when you moved it and he wanted money. What ever it was, it definitely was not a date.

Evan scooted closer to you, “Why not? You’re really pretty. I think he would be lucky to date you. Anyone would.”

The genuine tone of his voice made your heat melt. That was the thing about Evan. He didn’t speak very often so when he did, you really listened. If your mind wasn’t so heavy with questions buzzing around it, you might have even teared up. “You must not know me as well as you think.”

His expression saddened, “I don’t have real friends. Ever. People are forced to talk to me b-because they have no one else. Like you. You would have never talked to me if you didn’t-” He didn’t finish that sentence. You knew he was going to say if you hadn’t lost all your other friends but he didn’t want to be rude. “...I’m always everyone’s last resort. But you did end up talking to me. And I don’t want to be selfish but I’m really glad that you did. I might have been your last resort but you never treated me like that. When you look at me, you make me feel seen...that’s special, Y/N. I’m used to people talking at me. Not to me. You don’t do that. You’ve never done that.” He swallowed and took a deep breath. “Whatever Connor wants, he better be nice to you, b-because I’ll...I’ll be really upset if he hurts you...”

Your vision blurred with pressing tears. The past three days had been pure hell. Hearing someone you cared about express how you made them feel was undeniably a beautiful moment for you. You sniffled with a smile, “Would say that to his face?”

Evan blushed but straightened his posture, “Yes. Yes I would.”

You laughed and took out your phone. “So if I call him right now, you’ll tell him all that?”

He faltered and looked around in panic. You leaned over and hugged him, “I’m kidding. I would never do that to you.” He wrapped his arms around you and you didn’t move from the embrace. It felt nice to just be held. “Thank you, Evan. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. It’s been a really hard week. I’m glad you’re here.”

He tentatively leaned his head into your shoulder. The longer you held him in the hug, the more relaxed he seemed to become. Both of you were probably lacking in the human contact department. “Lie with me,” You shuffled towards your pillow and gave Evan a careful push back onto them. You curled up by his side. He stiffened. You smiled to yourself, “It’s okay. Relax. I’m not trying to get in your pants. Just...hold me.” He moved his arms around you while you rested your head against his shoulder. You heard him exhale a long breath and ease into the mattress. It was an intimate, sweet moment between two friends. Sometimes you just need to feel loved. To feel held and appreciated. You closed you eyes.

After few fleeting moments of silence, Evan spoke again. “What happened between you and those girls?”

Maybe it was the safe space the two of you had ultimately created but you felt tempted to tell him everything. You wanted to tell him everything. Then Connor’s face popped back into your head. You saw the look of anger and disgust plastered onto his features. You watched him storm out of the room. It would kill you to see Evan do the same thing. You couldn’t let that happen. The truth sat heavy as a boulder inside of you while you lied, “We had a falling out. Her boyfriend cheated on her. With me. It was my fault. She deserves to be furious at me.” Even saying those words made you feel dirty. You felt dirty for hiding the truth from him. Your blood ran cold with each lie you spoke. “I fucked up. Now I’m paying for it. I’m sorry again for what she said to you the other day. That wasn’t right. That was my fault too. Everything was my fault.”

Evan contemplated what you were saying, “Why did you do it? Why did you cheat with him?”

A silent tear rolled down your cheek. He didn’t realize the torture he was causing you. Your words came out hollow, “I was drunk.”

“I’ve never been drunk before,” he replied.

“You shouldn’t. It’s not fun. Bad things can happen when you aren’t sober and aware of everything.” You couldn’t talk about this anymore. You had to change the subject. “Let’s talk about something else. Tell me more about your summer job. I like you hearing you talk about it.”

You settled against his chest, eyes closed, and tried to focus on him describing his time as an apprentice park ranger. You were finding it hard to give him your full attention but you managed to get out an “mhm” or a “wow” at the appropriate times. Your mind was really else where. His voice lulled you into a trance. You thought about Alyssa. You thought about Justin. You thought about Connor. You kept losing people you cared about. Everyone left, or hurt you, or died, or was driven away. It cut deep wounds into your battered soul. You still had Evan though. You would do everything in your power to not give him up.

Around 6 in the evening, Evan finally had to go home. You were sad to see him leave. Once he left, you’d be alone again. Even when your dad was home, you still felt alone. He packed up his bag. You had managed to get through a little bit of homework but mostly you both just talked. After he brought up your falling out with Alyssa, he stuck to more light conversational topics. He seemed to be able to tell that it wasn’t something you wanted to discuss.

You got into your car to drive him home. He buckled up and sat with his backpack held tight against his chest like a security blanket. His eyes were trained directly ahead and his body was stiff. You looked over at him, “Everything okay?”

He nodded nervously, “I just don’t really like, uhm, driving. It makes me anxious. I t-tried to take my drivers test once and I panicked and hit a curb and then I cried. I don’t like cars. They’re basically b-big death machines.”

You gave him a soft smile, “I’ll drive extra slow. Will listening to music help distract you?” You made a motion to the radio.

“This is r-really weird but I like to l-listen to rain sounds on my headphones whenever I have to be in a car. B-b-but I don’t want to be rude...” He fidgeted with his the straps of his bag.

You made a mental note of that. Maybe when you got home, you’d make a special playlist full of rain sounds for him the next time he was ever in your car. You knew whenever he started to stutter like that, he was on edge and close to panicking. Anything that would help calm was good in your book. “That’s not weird and you won’t be rude. Listen away. I’ll be fine. Don’t feel like you have to make conversation. I’ll be playing showtunes in my head and enjoying the drive.”

Evan smiled apologetically, “Thank you.” He tugged a pair of headphones out of his bag and plugged them into his phone.

The drive was quiet. It gave you time to think about Connor. The paper he had given Evan felt like it was burning a hole through your jeans pocket. You desperately wanted to know what he had to say. You knew once Evan had been safety dropped off that you would text the number. You didn’t live too far from Evan’s house, you realized. It was only about a seven minute drive. He smiled and waved as he ran up to his front door. You waved back and watched him disappear inside. The smile faded from your face.

You drove around the corner before pulling to the side of the road. You couldn’t wait any longer. With the paper in one hand and you phone in the other, you punched the series of numbers into the message app.

Y/N: Today 6:32 pm: Connor?

You didn’t have to wait long. He replied right away.

(555) 243 4401: Today 6:33 pm: Y/N?

Y/N: Today 6:33 pm: Ya.

(555) 243 4401: Today 6:35 pm: Meet me at the lake.

You knew you were going to go. There was no debate. If Connor told you to go somewhere, you would do it. You had no will power against him. You pulled back onto the road and headed towards the lake.

Connor. Connor. Connor. Connor. His name ran laps around your mind. Who was he? You felt you knew so little about him and so much at the same time. He was a reader. He liked literature. From that alone, you could determine that he would be the quiet sort of type. The kind of person who would rather get lost in a different world than to live the one they’re currently in. He extended a hand of friendship when he saw you needed one. He offered you food as a sign of peace. It showed he was able to read other people’s emotions with a quick glance. He cared about those who looked lost and alone. Probably because he felt the same. He sympathized with those people. He wasn’t the kind of person who stepped into the middle of a fight. That day Alyssa cornered you in the hall by the lockers, Connor had stood by and watched. He never made a move to step between you two. He was reserved, in that sense. He didn’t actively put himself in the line of fire. He faded into the side lines. He disappeared into the shadows. But afterwards, he stuck around. He could have left but he stayed and lingered for you. He warned you of the cut on your lip. He didn’t want you to outwardly show any signs of the altercation. He cared enough about you to give you that little bit of dignity.

Then he was at the lake that night you couldn’t sleep. He was different then. Angry. Hurting. He lashed out when he aggressively threw the bottle of pills at you. Though they never hit you. You guessed he probably never intended for them to. He wanted to feign the act of hurting you without actually doing so. You were emotionally hurting too and you chose to ignore most of his acting out. That night he had been alone before you arrived. That night he had wanted to kill himself. He was someone who was in pain. The kind of pain that you kept hidden from everyone else. The kind you buried deep down and let it slowly eat away at you piece by piece. He was sad. Under the anger he showed you, he was hiding his sorrow. But he never went through with it. He could have left you that night. He could have left you on the beach and found someplace else to do the deed. Or he could have done it right there beside you. He could have forced you to find him the next morning laying in a pool of his own vomit. But he didn’t. He didn’t want you to be alone and he didn’t want you to find him like that. You were vulnerable out in the open. Asleep. He didn’t want to leave you. He cared about you then. He was someone who wanted to end his own life but refused to because another person needed to be looked after. He was both selfish and selfless at the same time.

That morning at the diner, he spoke like it was nothing. That was how Connor viewed the worth of his own life. Nothing. He was a boy with no self worth. That must have meant that the people in his life treated him that way. They treated him as nothing, too. People don’t just assume they mean absolutely nothing to the world. Something along the way tells them to believe such a thing. Connor was alone. Yet he still cared what people thought of him. When you started to make a scene in the diner, he got embarrassed. He didn’t want people to know anything about him. He didn’t want to be the center of attention. He pulled you back into the booth to keep you quiet. ...But then you asked him not to go through with what he had planned. He agreed so easily. It told you that no one had ever asked him that before. No had ever given his life enough worth for him to even entertain the idea that he shouldn’t kill himself. No one had ever asked him to live simply because they wanted him around. Were you the first person in his life to show him that kind of mercy?

Then there was the woods. He never spoke much when you had been together. Maybe he didn’t know what to say? He wasn’t a character in one of his books. He was real. Real life was harder. No one could write the words for him. Connecting with others was a foreign concept to him. But he seemed to be more comfortable the more time you spent in his presence. You weren’t giving him a reason to leave so he started to open up. When you walked the train tracks together, he had an almost playful air to him. He smiled. You hadn’t really seen a true smile on his face before that day. He could be happy. He had the ability to be happy. He just never had a reason to be. But then he left you. He didn’t want to wait. He didn’t care enough to stick around. He was impatient. He wanted to explore the forest with you and when you had denied him, he went off without you. It was his way or no way. He was stubborn and a little entitled. He didn’t answer when you called out to him. Do you think he had heard you? Do you think he wanted you to come looking for him? Maybe it had a been test. From what you had observed about him, he seemed like the sort of person who would put people through trials. The more tests they passed, the more worthy they became to him. Had you passed or failed that one? You never found him. He had found you. But you had gone looking. He needed someone to look for him because no one ever did.

That night told you the most about Connor. You hadn’t been able to realize it then but now it was coming to you as you drove. The moment he saw you on the ground, he had been able to deduce that you were having a dissociative episode. He had known what to do. He didn’t try to force you back to reality. He had waited. He had pulled you to a safe spot, covered you with his jacket, and watched over you until you came back. He spoke to you in calm, even tones. He gave you tricks on how to stay grounded. He had brought you back home. He had done that before. That’s how he knew what to do. Connor had gone through similar things himself. You remembered that he had mentioned a therapist in those woods. Who had sent him to therapy in the past? Was it someone who cared about him? What changed between now and then? Where they no longer around or had they just given up?

So, who was Connor Murphy? Connor Murphy at first glance seems like someone complicated, but really, he wasn’t complicated at all. All you had to do was look between the lines of what little he gave you and you’d see everything you needed to know. What you couldn’t figure out was why he had acted like that yesterday. He stayed the night. He didn’t have to. He had once again proved that he put your own well-being before himself. Connor Murphy cared about you. You could see that clearly now. Then why did he shut down when you told him about Justin? Why would he run off like that? He knew how vulnerable you were. He would have know how much it hurt you to talk about that night. It didn’t add up. You slammed your hand on the steering wheel. Come on. You could figure this out. Connor gave you everything you needed to know. You just needed to think. You had to read between the lines. You mentally rewound back to that morning.

He had asked you about Justin. The look on his face had told you that he already anticipated what you were going to say and that he was bracing himself for it. You confirmed his suspicions, more or less. Enough that he got the picture. Then what happened? All you could remember was him running off in anger. But something came before that. He had asked you if Justin had hurt you and then he...what? You let out a shout of frustration. Think, dammit! Angry. He was angry but he was trying to be calm. There was fury raging behind his eyes though. He couldn’t hide that.

Then it clicked.

That night at the lake. He been angry then too. He had whipped his pill bottle at you but he was never really aiming for you. He didn’t want to hit you. You were never actually his target. His anger consumed him and he needed to release it...but he didn’t want to put you directly in the line of fire. He wasn’t running away because of what you had done. He was running away because he cared about you. Everything up to that point had only proved, again and again, that Connor truly cared. From the moment you had met in the library, he was looking out for you. He was running away because he didn’t want you to see him freak out. He cared what people thought of him like when you started making a scene in the diner. He didn’t want people to think he was crazy. And those were just random people! Who was the one person he was continuously looking after and taking care of? You! He cared about you. When he found out what you had been through, he got angry. Not at you but because you had been hurt. He didn’t want to see you hurt. How many times did he have to silently prove that to you before you understood? My god, you were so stupid.

Then today he gone to school looking for you. He wanted to make sure you were okay after he had left. When he couldn’t find you, he went to the next person he knew you were friends with. Evan. And of course Evan only confirmed that you weren’t there. That’s why he gave him his number to give to you. Connor wasn’t the kind of person who’d just walk up and knock on someone’s door without notice. He wasn’t going to check up on you at home. There were too many risk factors involved. Your dad could have answered, for one. From everything you had pieced together, Connor didn’t like authority and he didn’t like to put himself directly into situations where he didn’t know the outcome. He had no other way of contacting you so he placed all his bets on Evan for passing along the message. That’s how Connor worked. He didn’t say things directly. You couldn’t expect him to just say what he meant. You had to look deeper into whatever little bit he was giving you. Giving you his number was his way of saying that he was worried about you and he wanted to make sure you were okay. It was his way of creating a direct route between you to him.

Then you remembered what Evan had told you. He said Connor was all beat up. You unconsciously stepped harder on the gas in an attempt to get to the lake faster. What had happened when he left your house? Who had done that to him? Those were unspoken questions you couldn’t yet piece together. Something in the pit of your stomach told you who it was though. You hoped you weren’t right. You hoped Connor hadn’t gone after Justin himself. Who else would it have been? Justin would have been the perfect target for all the rage Connor needed to release. If it were true, it wouldn’t have been a fair fight. Justin was captain of the football team and was always surrounded by groups of his beefy, asshole friends. Connor wouldn’t have stood a chance against him. You quietly prayed that the scenario you were imaging wasn’t the truth.

You ached to see him now. Everything you were suddenly realizing was only feeding your need to be beside him. You wanted to hold him. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to claim him as yours and never let him go. How could it have taken you so long to figure everything out? How could you have been so oblivious? Connor was the single factor that had kept you going since you met him on the first day of school. He was the one who invaded your dreams while you slept and the one to first enter your thoughts when you woke. He was constantly on your mind. You cared about him just as much as he cared about you. You wanted him. You wanted Connor Murphy and you weren’t about to let him slip away again. You were in charge of your life. You were going to get what you wanted. You deserved to be happy. Connor made you happy.

Up ahead, the glistening water birthed into view. Your heart leaped in excitement. You hadn’t even realized that silent tears had been rolling down your cheeks while you drove. Connor had never intentionally meant to hurt you. He didn’t know how to vocalize his emotions. You couldn’t blame him for that. All he had ever done was watch your back, taken care of you, made sure you were safe. He was your guardian angel disguised as a moody, teenage boy. You threw your car into park the second you pulled into a space. Your two cars were the only one’s in the lot. Connor was sitting on the same swing you had sat the first time you had met here. He was staring out at the lake with his back to you.

The sound of your car door closing alerted him to your presence and he stood up, turning around. You didn’t have any time process the state his face was in. Your eyes locked with his and you were rushing towards him. He caught you in surprise as your arms were thrown tightly around his neck and your lips crashed onto his. This time, you gave him all the time in the world to kiss you back. And he did. He was timid at first, like he was trying to wrap his mind around if this was real or not. Then he grew more confident. He tangled his hand in your hair, gripping it tightly, as he pushed back against your lips, hungrily eating up what he desired. He matched your rough intensity as you both clung to each other like it was the end of the world.

Your eyes opened slowly, your chest heaved with heavy breathing, and you were clinging to the front of his shirt. He stared down in amazement at you, soaking in everything he could about this moment. You didn’t attempt to untangle yourself from him.

A timid smile crept onto your lips as you gazed back up at him, “Hi.”

He laughed. A real, genuine laugh. You had never seen anything so beautiful in your life. Through the swelled bruising covering his delicate skin, his face lit up in wonder, “...Hi.”

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy fic #connor murphy #dear evan hansen fic #evan hansen fic #evan hansen #deh #deh fic

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austinhuang0131 · 7 years ago

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The Intruder

A sequel to The Destroyer. Never presented since I mentioned my classmates in the story.

Edited December 9, 2017.

“Your story is so bad! You just described the whole instruction of how to solve a crime. Plus, the guy was like never caught before, but you guys caught him that easily?”

Yeah, I was being savage again. But it was true: Literally all my comrades…I mean friends…thought so, just never said it in front of her, but they all cheered when I said it, with loud claps. Such cowardice. “How about you write one?” The girl knew how to deal with my savagery so that at least she can steal something from me and be more popular. These teenagers. Her friends cheered for her. But her story was really bad. Like the kind that no sympathy can be given. “Alright,” I shouted. “Challenge…accepted! Challenge accepted!” My figure is too big to fail. I mean, all these boys fear me, as I have already established my superior authority in dealing with money, dealing with relationships, and also dealing with governmental relationships. You guys should’ve read my story before, right? But not all those girls. Especially that girl. Transfer student. Relatively mini in size. Has bad tastes just like these disconnected dudes and dudettes back in her original school. While she’s not very good looking, she has already lured three boys, although all low-tier trash kids. Still, luring three boys is pretty impressive indeed.

Since the death ran past me last time, I am escorted home by cops, because they think it’s just too easy for me to get shot again. You might think that as a privilege, but you are definitely wrong: The cops are just aggressive on anyone who approaches us. Also, I didn’t say much to the media, so they become curious about me. When I get stuck in traffic, tens of reporters who had waited for my arrival for a long time just swarm around me, trying to get as much from my mouth as possible. When the cops acted aggressively, they respond aggressively, and thus a chaos is formed around me. I actually feel like that’s worse than being caught and interrogated by that government. I got back to my foster home. Dinner was ready for me. Relief. “Hey, someone mailed you some chocolate!” My foster mother says. She really cares about all these things I got from the mailbox because I often request freebies from various sources: I like bargaining and freebies, just like one of my teachers, despite the fact that I have earned some fortunes already. But not this time. I’ve heard that Mossad agents murdered a German with toxic chocolates that reacted slowly. “No…Not really. You see, I’m sensitive now.” “But it’s Godiva! Not some Merci but Godiva!” “It’s not even a Lindt! Besides, I’m sensitive now, don’t you know?” My foster mother left with a shrug. I had dinner and went upstairs to my room. My daily routine after dinner is that I finish my homework as well as my contract work to earn a small-but-impressive income. But that day I felt dizzy. I kept thinking about the girl. I never felt she’s that attractive, not to the three boys, but to me, a guy who usually ignores girls. I kept thinking about whether to actually be a deliverer or a bamboozler, as I had already accepted the challenge. So I went to sleep early. Muddling in my sleep, I could sense the lightning outside my window. Heavy rain. Trees shaking.

Waking up to the radio. Another day. Rainy. I got dressed and prepared, grabbed my breakfast, saw the cops waiting for me, got escorted, passed through ordinary traffic, arrived school, chilled for a bit with my classmates, then I went to the class. One of my buddies, who never take sick days and was energetic when he cheered for me the day before, was absent. Dudes in my circle gasped, including myself. Is it that government? This idea flashed in my head like the lightning I heard yesterday. The rain, lightning, shaking trees… must be some sign of bad things. So it is that government! Recalling my experience scene by scene, I feel regret…I became the headlines, I helped my family…But I…I betrayed my friends! Wait…There was only one person missing. What if he’s actually sick? I gave up punishing myself. But I felt dizzier. All the sudden, something came to my mind. “That might do for the challenge that the bitchy girl demanded.” She wrote a detective story, so what if I wrote a detective story as the sequel to The Destroyer? That’ll effectively bring her down and increase my throne…I mean authority. “What are you saying?” It’s that boy. Transfer student. Same origin as the girl. Same bad taste, maybe worse. What a terrible school they came from, I thought. “Are you actually going to say he died? There’s no more time for that challenge! This is SERIOUS! Just STOP!” “What did I say?” “You said…” “Stop.” While the boy didn’t persuade me to abandon my idea, his words actually enhanced my thought. I felt more terrible now. I left the crowd in the classroom. I could faintly sense someone watching behind me, who I failed to catch as it ran away so fast. I lost my concentration in class, thinking about the fate of the absent guy, over and over. Then I figured that it’s just too much. I gave up my thought. Time flies by quickly. The cops showed up at the front gate on time. I told them that one of our comrades…I mean friends…was missing. “Did you just say comrades? Are you a commie?” This government hates commies. “Shut up. How can you be so damn chill when someone is probably abducted by the part-time scumbags, or maybe full-time scumbags?” “I don’t know. I’ll try to get in contact with them.” I was back home. Tired. Exhausted. The chocolate sitting on the dining table was never touched. “You look tired.” “No, I’m fine. Another test this week.” “Okay. But you never worried about tests!” “Not a lot of tests at the same time…You know what, it reminds me of my time back in that country. We have tests weekly, like every single week. You won’t believe it. Try it. You can literally lose your life.” I stormed upstairs. Outside the window, red the moon was. I saw a tweet that inspired me. “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” I mean, they are my friends, but not forever. They are not bringing me any direct benefit. Besides, for the people that bring me direct benefit, like cold hard cash, they are not necessarily my friends. So, I guess it’s not a big deal… Stop! What if they become successful? You can easily go into the kool kids klub, you enjoy privileges, you can also earn cold hard cash! You can easily apply for certain jobs with someone who recommends you! So, I guess I shouldn’t do it… Wait! That’s much later, plus how could I imagine them being successful? They’re like just relaxed, not caring about report card, and are literally making memes every day…How can they be successful? Why should I carry my hope on them? The twisted mind of me sucked the last strength out of my body. I lay down on my bed feebly. It was a half-an-hour nap, then I got up and hurried into the work I needed to be done. Although tired, I was still conscious of my actions, so I wasn’t really worrying. Then I slept. For the second time muddling in my sleep, I could sense the lightning outside my window. Heavy rain. Trees shaking.

Waking up to the radio. Another day. Rainy. I got dressed and prepared, grabbed my breakfast, saw the cops waiting for me, got escorted, and…The cop told me something no one can believe. “My buddy visited the sick guy. He was sick with sudden anemia.” The officer who escorted me said. “But he was fine the day before…” “He found a kiss on his neck. No lipstick, but pretty red. Tried to identify it, but the forensic department said no match in the database.” Well, this expels my trouble… by pushing another in. This is a scientific world, why can there be demons or vampires? “Any needle holes?” “You’ll be surprised.” He stopped the car on the side and handed me some photos. “Too-long-didn’t-read: No. Also, you can keep them.” Another guy was absent, but I have no more strength to care about that: This effectively distracted all my concentration. I went through these photos over and over too many times to even keep up with the classes, and I got called out, unfortunately. At least I am a good student for most of the time, I could get away with the reason of “a bad sleep”. During an excess, I could, again, faintly sense someone watching behind me, but at least I could get a glance: It’s the girl with bad taste. I mean, I watch anime. I knew how vampires work, but that’s artistic expressions. I would need some info on actual experience. I rushed out of the front gate as the classes ended, then told my escorting officer to drive me to the national library. He was quite surprised, but he did anyway. I ran to the history section and searched through the old, crappy books for some folk legends about these demonic creatures, but I couldn’t: The library sucks. Leaving it, I got escorted home, opened the door, put down my bags, then stormed upstairs to my room. Online research would be the only way. But, as I’d expected, this couldn’t be any more fantastic. I was exhausted, but at least there wasn’t any homework that day. As suggested in anime and common settings, I decided to keep my eyes open in bed as long as possible. I sneaked to my Keurig, added some quality Columbian coffee gifted from my Latino neighbour next door to my K-cup, pushed the handle and the button, quickly drank the coffee-water – Keurig is weaker for My K-Cup comparing to regular pods, thanks to the evil capitalism – and then I went to bed. Blame that Keurig. It had almost no effect. I kept my eyes open for like an hour and then I gave up. I guess I’ll praise communism to get more effective coffee. Another lifetime experience began, as I said. Or maybe I’m too naïve.

“Wake up.” A soft, comforting voice. It was that girl in a pinkish nightdress. “HOLY CRAP! BURN IN HELL!!! WHICH GOD OF WHICH RELIGION PUT YOU HERE, IN MY DREAM? HOW DARE YOU SEDUCE A LEGEND?” Pinky fumes with the smell of a familiar perfume surrounded my room. That really makes up a temptation, I thought. But anyways, I just couldn’t bear that marshmallow smell. “You stole your friend’s perfume to make particulate matter. What a bad taste in perfume, just like your taste in guys. Now let me get some protection against this air pollution.” “The Ketchup lent me that. And you’re so mean, so you’re mine now. You’re not going anywhere. You probably have heard from the officer…right…?” She lay down her hand on my shoulder. Behind a cute face is such an evil plot. “But do you actually have anyone that loves you?” You see, I can still be savage even if I’m confronting a possibly-mutated supernatural being who looks like a girl. Silence. “Power is just an excuse. You can’t hide the fact that you have no actual friends. No one will care about you unless you force them to care. That’s so sad.” She stopped moving. Her face was around 20 centimetres away from mine, but I can no longer sense her breath. Bon chance! I kicked her right in the face so hard that she fell off my bed. “See, you will never attract a living meme, a legend, a headliner. You will never get me.” I tried to open the door, but it got locked. Windows, too: The handle got tied up. Now I need a hammer to break the glass open, but that’s not easy, considering my window glasses are now bulletproof: Hard as a rock. I choked on the pinky fume. I became unconscious… “Wow. You’re so mean. Don’t you adore my power? What if you can have it?” My suffering didn’t end when I woke up. She really can read my minds. “I’d rather sell my power for money.” What a savage answer I gave. “Don’t you like girls around you?” “If I can’t sell my power, I’ll sell the girls.” Does that mean I shouldn’t sell the power? “Don’t you like girls who are rich?” “With great power comes great responsibility. I’ll just sell my power to someone and let them do the job. Also, such supernatural power can come with side effects, y’kno.” “Wow. You are really mean.” I wrecked her so hard, which was equivalent to pouring gasoline on a fire. But she just lay her head down my neck without hesitating. She kissed me. Journey to hell now, I guess. “WHAT THE…” Her lips were pretty soft, but you can feel that sting on your neck and your blood being sucked out. My strength was being drained away... It was some moments later that I realized that I couldn’t resist her. Her lips staying on my neck. “I’m…glad…that…” “What?” “…you…killed…me.” A savage kid needs a savage death.

Instead of waking up in the heaven or the hell, or feeling worn-out due to the anemia, I woke up normally. Her lips remained still on my neck. Eyes closed. No movement. She’s dead. “Thank God she died.” Relief…Not for long. More and more questions popped up in my head. “How did she die?” No wound on the corpse, no trace of any fight. “Did I kill her?” I passed out after her kiss, sure I was unconscious. “How should I deal with this?” I can’t tell the police: I touched her, so there goes my fingerprint. Guess I’ll have to sneak out at late night carrying a corpse. She’s a devil that can stir things up once found, so I guess there are some self-destruction features left for me to discover. “So you think I’m dead?” A voice in my head. It’s the girl. “Holy! Where the hell…” As I said, it is a scientific world, and... “Exactly. I tried to suck your blood out, and then I became unconscious for like no reason. And that’s what happens when I woke up. Now PUT ME BACK!!!” Eek. Holy crap. Does that mean I contain her soul now? Having a girl in my head really hurts. It’s not like I’m afraid of being paranoid, it’s just that my report card can go down if she bothers me in a test. “No. Get punished for being an intruder to the Destroyer.” “You won’t be able to bear me. I’ll just trash talk all the time until you do so!” “You’ll see. Also, I don’t have the tech to get you back, y’kno. Stop begging.” So I began my regular morning routine. I got dressed and prepared… “You have so few clothes in your closet!” Grabbed my breakfast… “You have a wrap?” Saw the cops waiting for me… “Cops drive you to school?” Got escorted… “What a privilege…” “BURN IN HELL! I beg you, please, JUST STOP! You’re only leading me to commit suicide, which kills you too. But trust me, that won’t happen. It’s time for you to suffer.” “You know what, I actually really like you.” What an obvious flattering lie. “Point proven,” I shrugged, “Bad taste.”

#short story #story #creative writing #english

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tune-collective · 7 years ago

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The 15 Best Gorillaz Songs

Every band has a story, but the Gorillaz are a story. We all know it’s Damon Albarn behind the mic with a rotating cast of collaborative characters, but the stellar, genre-blending electronic music is only half of the band’s greatness. Jamie Hewlett’s cartoons are rife with personality, and the foursome’s outlandish comic antics and adventures bring the project to life. They were breathing in the virtual before society realized its own cyber destiny.

Gorillaz proves that you don’t have to let experimentation and originality fall to the wayside in the name of commercial viability. You can still have songs on the radio and sell a bunch of albums even if you continuously push yourself to be strange, dark, and a little twisted. Gorillaz are virtual beings, and yet they are continuously one of the realest acts on the market.

The proof? Here are 15 of the best Gorillaz songs ever recorded.

15. Gorillaz – “Rhinestone Eyes”

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This electro-funk song from Gorillaz’ third album Plastic Beach stands out for its delicious weirdness. That pumping, synthetic organ surrounded by swirling ghost voices is some kind of wonderful. It’s dark, because almost everything by the Gorillaz is dark, but it’s got a jolt of energy that makes you wanna get up and adventure, as 2D’s deadpan delivery is fabulously juxtaposed against stabbing samples.

14. Gorillaz – “Fire Coming Out of the Monkey’s Head” feat. Dennis Hopper

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This Gorillaz song features Dennis Hopper, from effing Easy Rider, reading to you the damned destiny of men who do not heed the warnings of nature. The only other song I can think of anywhere remotely similar to this is The Velvet Underground’s “The Gift,” which is equally narrative-based and disturbing. Put this one on next time you’re sitting around a campfire exchanging ghost stories.

13. Gorillaz – “Don’t Get Lost in Heaven”

Right after the demise of the Happy People in “Fire Coming Out of the Monkey’s Head,” “Don’t Get Lost in Heaven” sweeps you into the bright lights of the afterworld. It bleeds just as seamlessly into Demon Days‘ album-ending title track This whole little closing act of the LP is quite brilliant, running beautifully on a theme with this tune as a reflective centerpiece. And who doesn’t fall victim to the charms of an angelic chorus?

12. Gorillaz – “Every Planet We Reach Is Dead”

This Demon Days deep cut has a Western feel, the crashing symbols sound like a cowboy’s heavy walk punctuated by the clinking of spurs. Albarn could be a man singing a sad song of love lost in an old saloon. The bright keys could be the dusty piano. It’s a cinematic piece that grows ever more interesting and noisy in a sweeping, chaotic build, before coming down in a sunset of strings. Nothing is resolved, and everything is as it should be.

11. Gorillaz – “Plastic Beach” feat. Mick Jones and Paul Simonon

The title track from the Gorillaz’ third studio album is a real creamy dream. Funky creaks and croaks and wonks plop here and there among the cascading keys. It’s also, essentially, a collaboration with punk all-timers The Clash, as both guitarist Mick Jones and bassist Paul Simonon grace the tune with classic cool. This is a summer song for when everything is wrong, but partying is still on the docket.

10. Gorillaz – “Rock The House” feat. Del The Funky Homosapien

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’90s alt-rap great Del comes through for his second appearance on Gorillaz’ debut LP. He plays the role of drummer Russel’s dead MC friend. Russel is possessed by Del, which is really not that bad of a deal. While comments from the cartoon members of the band in faux-tobiography Rise of the Ogre reflect a certain distaste for the tune, “Rock The House” stood out on Gorillaz with its bright horn sample (courtesy of “Modesty Blaise” by John Dankworth) as one of the most fun and fanciful moments on the record.

9. Gorillaz – “Superfast Jellyfish” feat. Gruff Rhys, De La Soul

Any song that opens with a clip of a commercial is a winner in my book. De La Soul’s Trugoy grabs the baton of sarcastic capitalism and runs with it right into a bubble of cheeky fun. The bouncing beat lulls you into a false sense of happiness as you crunch on your sugar-coated mind-control bites. Slurp up the pink-and-purple swirl of milk and wash away the feeling that there might be something more meaningful at stake. There you are! You’re ready for the dance floor called life.

8. Gorillaz – “Andromeda” feat. D.R.A.M.

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There’s no denying the fabulous funk of this Humanz single. It’s got an interstellar groove that boldly goes where no cartoon band has gone before. It’s a fun, seemingly innocuous song, but it’s actually very personal to Albarn. It’s named after a nightclub from his youth, and it was the only place that played soul music in the area. He tried to capture the spirit of those nights in the song. He also dedicated “Andromeda” to the mother of his longtime partne,r who recently passed. It’s an emotive dance track with highs, lows, sick synthlines; in short, everything you need in a dope dance hit.

7. Gorillaz – “Ascension” feat. Vince Staples

Sirens and Staples’ apocalytpic party-starting mark the impending dopeness that will certainly leave your ears damaged and demanding more. The off-beat melody creates images of women twerking in dirty streets as buildings crumble and people spontaneously combust. Ain’t no club like the end of the world, and when this world meets its demise, put this Gorillaz song on full blast.

6. Gorillaz – “19-2000”

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If you were a nerdy kid around the turn of the Millennium, it’s highly likely you remember that night when Cartoon Network’s Toonami ran a bunch of animated music videos. It was the first taste a generation of youngsters got of Daft Punk’s Interstellar 5555, and it was also the most we’d ever seen of Gorillaz to date. This song blew my mind when I was 13 – I’d never heard anything quite so strangely, electronically funk – as did its explosive and hilarious video. It’s like a modern day Looney Tunes episode, and it helped introduce us to the characters we know and love today.

5. Gorillaz – “Tomorrow Comes Today”

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This lo-fi beat comes straight from the band’s debut LP and hits you right in the soul. It’s the kind of rainy-day rhythm that turns you inside out and has you thinkin’ all deep and stuff. It’s all blues and grays — the underlying melancholy sucks you in, but you can’t help but head-bob. It’s a little sad, but it’s still a mean groove.

4. Gorillaz – “El Mañana”

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This is one of those rare Gorillaz singles that isn’t a down-and-out dance tune. It’s beautifully sad, the melody of one stuck between a rosy yesterday and the far-off gleam of a better tomorrow. The music video depicts the destruction of the band’s floating island: This is the point in the story where Noodle got lost. As a single, it didn’t perform as well as its Demon Days predecessors, but as a song, it’s haunting and honest, the kind of melancholy sing-along that lives in your heart on rainy days forever.

3. Gorillaz – “DARE” feat. Shaun Ryder

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This was our introduction to Noodle’s singing, brought to us via the vocal chords of Roses Gabor. 2D, a.k.a. Albarn, is on the backing track, with Happy Mondays frontman Shaun Ryder chiming in alongside him. Did you know “DARE” samples Daft Punk’s “Revolution 909” at the end? It’s a downright danceable track, though it keeps that Gorillaz’ creepiness running throughout with those slinking synths and ghostly chorus vocals. It’s got bits of disco, trip-hop, and new wave peppered throughout for a fresh take on commercial viability that doesn’t have to put brakes on experimentalism, a cornerstone of what Gorillaz are all about. It remains the band’s only U.K. number one hit. Ryder is actually saying “It’s There” on the hook, and that was the working title for the track, but the singer’s accent is so intense, they just went with it and changed the name. The music video is full of horror film references, from The Birds to The Brain That Wouldn’t Die and The Ring.

2. Gorillaz – “Clint Eastwood” feat. Del The Funky Homosapien

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I remember the first time I saw this music video. I was 13. My bestie was sleeping over. She got scared. I fell in love. “Clint Eastwood” is the first rap song I knew every lyric to, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone: This eerie, drum-driven synthetic experiment is the musical equivalent of Damon Albarn creating his Frankenstein’s monster, which might explain the zombie apes in the visual. That red Japanese letting under the logo? It’s a quote from Dawn of the Dead, and it reads “Every dead body that is not exterminated, gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.” A couple months after this tune came out, every single one of my friends had a favorite Gorillaz member. It inspired me to listen to the group’s debut every time I did my homework for about two years straight. “Clint Eastwood,” much like it’s namesake, is America at its most goddamn iconic. Nothing sounded like it before. Nothing will ever sound like it again.

1. Gorillaz – “Feel Good, Inc.” Feat. De La Soul

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This tune broke the top 10 in 17 countries (and came just four spots away on the Billboard Hot 100), and it’s not hard to see why. It’s got classic Gorillaz rump-shaking buffooner, a cool hook, a cartoonish attitude, and blistering verses from De La Soul. The feature won each a Grammy for Best Pop Collaboration. “Feel Good Inc.” is actually the band’s most successful single, and it perfectly encapsulates the group’s vision. That wild laugh in the background is everything that makes Gorillaz what they are — they’re mad with genius, and the only way off their twisted carnival ride is to dance.

This article originally appeared on Billboard.

https://tunecollective.com/2017/07/18/15-best-gorillaz-songs/

#15 #gorillaz #Songs

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