#by Always being the one to compromise
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Really... really looking forward to not having to make decisions with my family anymore :')
#dad tends to just. assume ppl want whatever he wants.#just decides things and then does them#which can be rly frustrating but. its over quickly. decision made.#meanwhile mum is like. she just decides what everyone else wants. and pushes for THAT#in the most passive aggressive without being malicious way at all#all with these transparent forced smiles#but it is IMPOSSIBLE to do what she wants#she has literally started crying before when i tried. bc she didnt understand why i kept arguing w her#shell probably say later flippantly what she really wanted#but she never understands how. shitty she makes everyone feel.#by Always being the one to compromise#even when you didnt want the thing she's pushing on you#ughhhhI just wanted to go to a festival tonight#we're in japan!!!! i learned this morning that the moon viewing festival is tonight!!!!!#we're in a major city! there are real celebrations! ive been buzzing all day!!!#then at lunch dad realised we're having lamb for dinner. so he decided we should stay for dinner.#and go later.#of COURSE mum acted really happy about thay#meanwhile i made it p clear i didnt. care at all#we wanted to try hiroshima okonomiyaki!!! we never got a proper okonomiyaki in osaka#mum was so excited for okonomiyaki before we left!!#but when dad suggested we stay on the boat she just. '😊 oooh lamb backstrap! sounds delish!'#and now it turns out theres a shuttle bus leaving at 7:30 (we will not finish dinner before then)#and they were concerned if they could get a taxi to the boat (i dont. think its hard at all lmao)#but dad just stood there. Frowning as always when in deep contemplative thought.#mum of COURSE admitted she doesnt care abt lamb at all. who knows what she actually would prefer.#and im like. i obviously would rather not stay on. but whatever.#sigh maybe i should have just. said can we just not and have okonomiyaki instead.#i dont. get why this one (1) dinner is so important.#but dad acted like wed put him in an impossible position
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Listened to The Mountain Goats' 'Answering the Phone' one too many times. Started to feel some type of way about him
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#helsknight#welsknight#i wanted to do a full animatic but i don't have the time so we got a compromise#something about him living in the shadow of a man who is essentially a better version of him. one given more opportunities. more quiet#of being brought to a world so different from your own. of standing next to him every day and realizing you can never have his life#you'll never belong there. there is something in you that he doesn't have. that this world doesn't have#there will always be something wrong with you when you look at him#okay i'll stop being emo about him in the tags now#go listen to this song though
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more clothing (featuring Mafuyu and Haruka)
#two things that bug me:#One: the match up. Previous duos were reasonable and in unit. But...I think Mafuyu and Haruka never interacted in a meaningful manner#I can reason it with them being both seawings..which makes sens but it's such a stupid compromise ong#Second: I initally wanted to go with my usual two designs but this time I noticed that they actually matched quite well so ig it's 1.5#nitpicks aside: more trying things out. I was a bit unsure how to tackle seawing clothes since cloth wouldn't be handy underwater...#but then I thought “But what about making cloth that resemble radiolaria?” and threw all reason away I suppose#It's fancy but not fully it...the armor was fun though. i don't fully think the shoulderplates are that well executed but still it's good i#I do think I'll do art like those without the clothing though#It helps portray bodyshapes better like how Mafuyu's bulkier than Haruka. Or how Shizuku is more roundet than Shiho#...but admittedly I think that's just me subconciously convincing myself to make updated refsheets...#but they are not only refsheets but also my silly little dress-up-game for when I'm bored (always)#art#my art#doodle#project sekai#prsk#hatsune miku colorful stage#wof#wings of fire#haruka kiritani#mafuyu asahina#prsk wof au
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the peoples princess!
@notsolonedesert ur lovely ctimene has graced my lecture notes <3!! no references we die like my final braincells lol
her sarcasm knows no bounds and odysseus' famous wits have ocassionally paled in comparison to his sisters many a time ;)
sassy lil sister ctimene please and thank you. also stubborn af. idk i need more of them being siblings and and how they grew alongside one another and now tease eachother over meals and reminisce during cold winter evenings childhood shenanigans and laugh boisterously together (they have the same laugh. and a dad sneeze TM) and how they reacted to each others firstborns and and and
#u cant convince me she doesnt have a merida esque origin story where she had a favourite horse#loathes being confined to her potential as a wife instead of being seen as her own person. age typical sexism essentially#(not by ody or pen or eury ofc. never ever)#maybe she has a complicated relationship with her mother whose to say. love me a sprinkle of tragic parent and child#anyway one feature film length of character development later#she finds middle ground between accepting and fulfilling duties but not compromising on her own interests and needs#idk she trains the young women of ithaca. let her be ares' blorbo. let my girl kick ass#she definately bonds with penelope athletically#pen always wins swimming lol and is very agile but cti is unmatched in brute force and stamina#hc she protected penelope from the suitors. she didnt bring attention to the either of them but should the need ever arise#shes bitch slapping all 108 of them#eury would be proud#ctimene#epic the musical#my art
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is 😔#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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i only just found your au and i need everyone to have a happy ending so badly im gonna cry ;-; sally is gonna be so freakin upset when she wakes up for real and sees she decimated barnaby.
oh, Barnaby already has his arm stitched back on when she wakes up! and really, even if he didn't, that'd be the Least of her worries. she wakes up into a Real nightmare - partially of her (unintentional) making
#happy endings... well... yes and no. depends on what act you look at#act one? no! actually things get So Much Worse in an entirely festive new way!#act two? eh! sorta! its more bittersweet than anything#act three and four blend into each other so much that three doesn't have an 'ending'#but the final act - act four... well. who's to say! im still workshopping what i want to happen#but i do know it's still gonna have at Least a bittersweet tinge to it#wh lights out au#rambles from the bog#there are consequences and not everyone Makes It. i dont like stories where everything wraps up perfectly fine#even if it hurts! i like it when things hurt in a good way. those stories where the ending is overall positive#but Enough Happened that its just... its an ache. looking at where someone used to be. you know?#my favorite shows and books and fics have ended with me smiling while sobbing bc it yes it Hurts but it was So Fucking Good#and while i wouldnt be able to handle rewatching/rereading due to Emotional Damage...#i think of them fondly and often and theyre Important to me#perfectly happy endings just rub me wrong. it always feels like there's something Missing despite it all being idyllic#i cant let my own stories - original or aus or whatever - have that kind of end#so if thats what people are hoping for! you've come to the wrong person and the wrong au!#i like to be kind but that rarely extends to my creative works!#i like it messy and painful and bittersweet and i like to be Ruthless with my creations with no compromise#sometimes characters need to fight. or leave. or die. or make serious mistakes. etc.#but anyway! anyway....#i will say that there isn't a happy ending for Everyone. and for others it's... complicated. again - bittersweet
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being deranged about azure paler than the sky again. like girl i am literally all mysteries in creation near and far far and near i am all the mysteries (because i am a closeted lesbian). the representation of my lesbianism was cut from around my neck, symbolising both a violent attempt to ‘correct’ my identity and my own personal realisation that my infatuation with a girl is making me loathe that identity. it agonises me. i forfeit my duel because i realise i cannot exist in this system as i am, and i want to be that even as it is painful and unfulfilling. the symbol of holy matrimony and heteronormativity literally weeps over me for making this choice. i make it anyway. i am all mysteries in creation. ALSO, the utenanthy bedroom scene that episode is maddening to me and juri’s car sequence is one of my ult faves and all the imagery this episode (the chairs!!!!!!!) is on point, as with all juri episodes. also i am all mysteries in creation btw
#ok whatever im normal im normal im normal#idk man i just think an episode that so aptly expresses the struggles of being a lesbian and ultimately says it’s the bravest thing is like#the best thing ever???? like the world will be unkind to you and will not attempt to understand you and the girl you love may be cruel#but despite that. you know how you feel and you accept that and you don’t compromise or repress that. like like#being able to feel pride. actually. being resolute about who you are in the face of extreme adversity#this episode to me is just like. so incredibly compassionate so keen to tell you it’s going to be ok and you just have to choose that#you have to want it and work for it. and it isn’t always fair but it IS worth it#ok im going off on one now hahaha im normal :)#tldr i am all mysteries in creation :)#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#shut up daisy
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oh my god!!! this fucking guy...what a character
haunted by his dead wife, haunted by his wife
and now he declares her dead so that he can justify taking care of his sister and mother over confessing to her murder
ahhhhh, his mind
#the double#yelling in excitement here#fully understand the impossible situation he is in#love that him declaring his love and risking his life doesn't change what he is missing#he likes to tell his story as one of struggle but he always takes the easy way out#sure - dad died due to conspiracy. he is under pressure to excel and avenge#but while his flashbacks show how he recognizes what she sacrificed for him it all seems laced with expectation#expectation that she would compromise for him and support him#that she would oppose her father#yes he loves her but ah li is the way for him to improve his standing#he tells her he loves her: after she put in the work to save herself from what he has done#he risked his life when he has no time to think but the second he recognizes the guard and knows he won't die it has the aftertaste of him#being satisfied with himself#pleasing everyone at the same time. risking the lifes of others and himself but also nothing at the same time#has to kill his wife for the princess. doesn't succeed#as if that is some type of balance#i get the fear and how he has to protect his family and his plan of revenge but i wan't to shake him at the same time#*hurt voice* now you don't play dead anymore??!! now that you want to cut all ties with me??!!! but you are dead!!! so you have to understa#nd that i choose my 'living' family over you
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the higher-ups (and Yaga) immediately trying to leverage Gojo & Ieri's absence to put Yuuta on the roster??? God that's such a stark moment. Thank god Nanami and Gojo saw through that one immediately, because Yuuta wants to justify his own survival so badly he would've fallen straight into it.
That whole scene, with Yuuta immediately jumping on the opportunity to help people even though something is Extremely Wrong with him and he's on the brink of physical collapse--this boy is selfless to the point of self destruction and I am chewing the drywall about it. I love him so much.
If only he was able to summon his newly found homicidal rage in defense of himself, the higher-ups would no longer be a problem. Alas, this boy is Extremely Unwell.
(Sea Glass Gardens is absolutely incredible and i am obsessed with it in a way that is totally and 100% normal. I'm so normal about it, trust me <3 )
The thing about Yuuta is that he really is prime to be taken advantage of right now and the higher ups know it. They had him try to kill himself for them--they know that there's a window of opportunity that they can use to get him under their thumb and avoid The Problem of Gojo, which is, namely, having a human weapon who you cannot fully control. Gojo nailed it from the beginning: they want a magic gatling gun with no personality or free will. They learned their lesson with Gojo and are trying to rob Yuuta of his agency before he learns how to protect himself.
And Yaga's part in that scene really was meant to kind of emphasize how, even with the best intention's, he just doesn't work to protect the kids. Like. everything he said was technically true, and he meant it with the best of intentions. He's the guy who has to think of everyone's needs. he has to manage this crisis. he's got a lot of people hurt badly who just came out of a war, and a lot of people going into fights with some very aggravated curses spawning without sufficient manpower to address the danger and no healer to save them if they cut it a little too close. He didn't have the intention of manipulating or sacrificing Yuuta, but he was aware that it would come to his detriment and risk.
The issue is the higher ups. They don't give a shit about the people in their workforce. They should be the ones doing whatever it takes to solve this crisis and save their people--and if that means giving up on their machinations? They should have already done it. It's their responsibility.
They just don't care. They want Okkotsu Yuuta under their thumb, and their society hemorrhaging is treated like an opportunity, not a dire problem to be solved. They don't care if half a dozen of their own people need to die to do it. Hell, it's better if they do die--they can put it straight on Okkotsu for not being willing to sacrifice himself, when they should have been making whatever promises they had to in order to make this work.
Gojo's done this before, is the thing. He was Yuuta, a long time ago. Nanami was right there watching it happen. They both know what the higher ups do: They let society get to a crisis level and put all the responsibility on you to save it. they let you maneuver yourself into a vulnerable position as a result, and then they use it as leverage to put their goddamn boot on your neck.
The thing is that Gojo adopting megumi all those years ago really did put them into a crisis state. the zenin pitched the mother of all bitch fits trying to secure his unconditional return, and they were a huge percentage of jujutsu society's labor force and resource pools. instead of the higher ups managing the problem at all, they took advantage of the situation and shoved more and more of its weight and responsibility onto gojo, until he was dropping off his own kid at his abusers' compound thinking it was the only compromise that could resolve things. megumi paid the price for gojo not calling bullshit, and right now, with him in a hospital bed? gojo's less willing to repeat mistakes than ever.
he knows that they're going to use the safety and suffering of everyone else as the leverage against him, and he knows that as terrible as it is, he cannot blink first. He's played this game before, and he knows that the only way to get the higher ups to back off on something like this is to dig in your heels.
I think what happened to Megumi all those years ago and how bad it got before they put a stop to it is something that haunts all three of them. When they first started raising him, they were very young, and they were very broken, and they loved him very, very much. He was their little boy, and he was never the same after the Zenin. They were supposed to protect him, and they didn't, and not a single one of them has forgiven themselves for that.
Megumi was sort of sacrificed for the greater good when he was a kid. None of them thought that that was what they were doing when it happened, but that's what happened. His happiness, safety, and wellbeing were sacrificed to pacify the Zenin and make it easier on everyone else.
Megumi and Tsumiki had to become their non-negotiables after. They had to become the things they refused to compromise on. The Zenin would take miles and miles if you gave them a millimeter, let alone an inch.
Gojo didn't think he was compromising them when he left them on their own to deal with Geto's war. They were disgustingly self-sufficient kids. They had been alone for longer stretches of time when they were practically toddlers--they should have been fine on their own for a couple of weeks.
But they were still his kids, and he still left them alone for everyone else's sake, and now his kid is blind and half dead in a hospital bed. It's like being punched in the face by old mistakes.
So they're off the roster completely, all of them. And they're not compromising an inch on what their focus is, and they're not letting anything happen to any of the other kids in their care.
It's terrible that their coworkers are suffering, but it wouldn't be happening if the Zenin hadn't fucked with Gojo Satoru's kid, of all the goddamn people. It wouldn't be happening if the higher ups would actually do their job and start managing shit.
And if they use Yuuta as an anxiety riddled bandaid on the bullet hole in their society? Then they'd be sacrificing him the way they sacrificed Megumi all those years ago. And they have never been less willing to do that.
I'm so so glad you like the story! Thank you for talking with me!
#i think gojo has such a big emphasis on giving kids the tools to protect themselves because no one ever did that for him or geto#geto snapped under the pressure and was lost to gojo forever#Gojo repeatedly focuses on giving the kids the tools to enjoy their childhood without being hurt#like with yuuji--he doesn't want him to sacrifice his youth and happiness with the others#so he focuses on giving him the strength to protect himself when gojo isn't there#in my mind that's also why gojo was always trying to feed yuuji the fingers#like when i first started the series it seemed kind of weird to me because gojo very obviously didn't want yuuji dead#until i realized that yuuji canonically had a good chance at suppressing sukuna even at 20 fingers as long as he had them spaced out#if yuuji had sukunas power level and had gotten it in increments eventually the higher ups couldnt touch him and hed still be under control#honestly none of the adults are doing well right now#a little under a decade ago the issue with the zenin came to a head and megumi ended up being very small and very hurt in a hospital bed#and they promised him that it would never happen again#now he looks very small and very hurt and he's in a hospital bed and the zenin put him there#as much as he's an angry teenager who hates displays affection he really is their little boy and they adore him#nanami was the one who took him from the zenin the final time all those years ago and he personally promised megumi that he would never eve#go back to that place. he feels like a complete failure right now.#gojo always blamed himself for not digging in his heels and refusing the custody compromise and now he's FURIOUS that this happened under#his nose a second time. i think gojos really interesting in the hero role because he's canonically low empathy and struggles with homicidal#impulses and let me tell you he thought about just killing all the zenin back then and he's REALLY thinking about it right now. there's one#fucking way of making sure this never happens again.#shoko generally feels like shit because this is supposed to be the one thing she can do to help and she /can't/ do it right now to help#megumi. also she privately thinks she had the most opportunity to realize how bad it was with the zenin back then and /didn't/.#she was going through a lot of her own issues back then and the zenin had some kind of believable excuses for why megumi was always banged#up. like. he was already getting into fights at school. its not like the zenin had issues procreating. they said he was picking fights#with other kids and that's where he got hurt. they actually blamed maki more than once. and some bruises here and there is expected for a#kid in combat training even at what was meant to be a very preliminary level. he was supposed to be in like. kiddie karate classes and they#didn't realize the zenin were training him like a fucking marine. it was SO obvious in hindsight and that tortures them.#protecting yuuta right now kind of feels like a chance to get it right the first time and all of them need that now that they feel like the#fucked it up with megumi a second time#sea glass gardens
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I wish there were more books from a sad/angry monster's point of view like Grendel by John Gardner but every time I look for "books similar to grendel by john gardner" the lists are just a bunch of books I've already read and aren't the same as Grendel; Beowulf, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Sir Gawain & The Green Knight... Not the same... These are all heroes, show me the monster's point of view. Tell me about the agonies of Fafnir and Dracula and St George's dragon before they were murdered by the hero...
#textpost#I love a good monster. A good monster has at least a few sympathetic traits to it#Fafnir was turned into a dragon by greed and is considered evil now for it even tho for most of his story he's just lazing around treasure#Dracula is a villain because of the connection to Satan and because he needs blood to survive. Are leeches and wolves evil too?#St George's dragon did extort a village for treasure/animals and then human sacrifices and I will admit that one is actually pretty bad lol#But also the village was entirely ok with the human sacrifice compromise until a member of royalty was chosen by the dragon for sacrifice#Then suddenly it's like oh ok so this is bad now that it's someone with money huh??#Obviously there's still killing and actually bad stuff in most cases that keeps the monster from being entirely irredeemable#but it always makes me wonder that if the circumstances were different#If the monster found a way to survive without hurting humans would it still be considered a monster?
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being a busy ass student with student journalism gigs on one hand and comm academic shit on the other is very interesting because with the jam-packed life I live I only really get to breathe at like late lAAATE night when no one can bother me about my responsibilities other than myself. that being said that's also when creative brain goes into overdrive and now misfits finally has the final draft of its opening number woo
#so heres the thing kasi the opening number of that damn project hAS BEEN THE HARDEST TO WRITE#i believe at this point there had been morethan 10 drafts gjdjd because like heres the thing with that number specifically#misfits is a fourth wall breaky show within a show and the 5 narrators (and 1 misfit which i'll get to in a bit) knowingly perform#to appease the audience. hence the opening number throughout the years has reflected that - a performance that breaks the barrier between#audience and stage. even when misfits wasnt a show withjn a show concept this had always been the general treatment so that the audience#actually GETS whats happening - but i always come to changing it because well i also wanted to add foreshadowing factors: somehing that#suggests that the show isn't actually all that it seems. previous drafts had this show through the typical Tagalog - Real#and English - Scripted element in the show - language being used to determine authenticity. however that begs the question of how to#properly utilize the Misfits in the opening number - given that two of them dont know about the Show while the other is confused#and then at 2 am i remembered Hermes from Hadestown and boop a lightning bulb#instead of opting for opening numbers that had hints of sabotage or theatrical malfunctions that suggests that the show is Not What It Seems#i thought - why not have it 'malfunction' at the start and have it introduce the wrong character first 5 minutes before the Narrators come#so basically after the Producers (represented through um P.A. voices smth like that) welcome everyone - what is supposed to be the#introduction of the Narrators first ends up as the introduction of the 3rd Misfit (Zeke - 18 - nb) who appears genuinely lost#they appear genuinely in distress though they keep themselves composed at the realization that they are facing an Audience#and they Know this because he was formerly a Narrator as well - though at this point in the story nobody (bar one) knows that#they decide to take their time in chatting with the audience while charming them using their old Narrator tactics in order to get a grip on#whats going on - being a first step towards how involved the audience will be in the story as Zeke then goes to question them outwardly on#the morals of the story they expect and whether it is ethical to have children forcibly conform to religion in the first place#but they do so in an entertaining Bo Burnham manner - a way that doesnt catch people off guard until They Want To - because ayun he#plays by the rules of the show#this doesnt seem like the 'opening number' yet does it but im getting there fjd because once they sense that the narrators will be on stage#as a memento they teach them to sing a melody that will serve as Zeke's motif - something that will eventually scare the lead Narrator and#the Producers - because whenever the motif is sung it means that someone has Broken a Significant Part of the show#especially since the Motif was um lets say its from a now defunct show the Producers and Zeke and the Lead Narrator used to have#that melody will then be subtly present throughout the entire opening number of the Narrators - which will then be played straight#but with the Misfits make their pre-official-introduction appearances by forming the bridge of the opener using the Motif#thats when we learn of the show being compromised from the very start - especially with the lyrics of the motif expressing doubt in faith#personal shit (ran out of tags whoops but um yea basically its Have The Audience Have A Hint to Whats Going On Through Recognizable Motifs)#(also the motif the audience learns is a melody - Zeke (and the lead narrator) changes the lyrics as they go) (also sorry for the ramble)
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it's honestly so infuriating how people act so defeatist when it comes to so many things in the world especially things that are systematic like... saying shit like "but it's been like this for years" yeah and does it make okay? OF COURSE NOT! you can identify the issue but you are gonna let it happen because why? there's no reason for you to let it happen especially if you know it's wrong you gotta stand tf up and do something about, talk about it and let other knows so action can be taken that's how things change!
#i've seen the phrase being used too many times for too much shit#like how like every now and then we discuss minors debuting in kpop#and someone goes 'but it has always been like this!' but it doesn't make it okay#and it's becoming worse in recent years so you recommend that#we don't call out companies for it?#also that skz fanbase being like 'but everyone in this industry is a zionist how are we gonna solve this'#and it sent me like YOU TAKE ACTION YOU DO SOMETHING??#it's a problem a huge one in fact so why should you still#stream music and buy merch when you know where those profits end up??#i'm so tired of this attitude towards so many things#you can point problems out but then you do nothing abt it#a lot of people underestimate the power they have consumers#and also the power of community at times too#it's like at the end of the day you don't wanna do anything abt it#bc it ends up compromising your comfort and that's the truth#it's how people don't wanna boycott brands they usually buy#it's crazy to me#i don't want people like this near me i am so serious#tris.txt
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as i said b4, cant wait til I'm 30 to experience my own yuri cherry maho. its gonna be great
#ive been trying in the past 8 months or so to give dating a go and I've concluded that 1. the apps arent for me also i cant rlly trust an#dating app profile to actually pick a good partner. 2. i hate texting. i prefer in person unplanned low intensity meeting much more.#and 3. I'm not ready for it yet. i want to spend these next 2 years being selfish. i feel like I've never actually been able to be purposely#self centered and frankly a bit selfish. I've never done that. ive always been compromising for false narratives and expectations in ny head#and I'm tired. i dont think i can be a good partner rn until ive had my fill of self centered ness b4 i can progress to a healthy medium.#I'm open and of the right person comes along i trust myself to not drive them away out of habit and hyper independence#but fuck yk. as mich as i want it. its nit for me. tho tbh i do think i should kiss random ppl in bars just once this year bc like.#i havent done that in .. oh god 6 years. mitski was right. one good movie kiss yk#but yea. hhh its 10pm i need to sleep but alas i cannot
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Ser Denys Mallister, Commander of the Shadow Tower
“We are the sons of great lords, you and I. We know the importance of birth, blood, and that early training that can ne’er be replaced. I was a squire at twelve, a knight at eighteen, a champion at two-and-twenty. I have been the commander at the Shadow Tower for thirty-three years. Blood, birth, and training have fitted me to deal with kings."
Rounding out my winter's worth of cold themed minis - the Commander of the Shadow Tower. This is going to destroy any credibility I had, but... despite loving House Mallister and loving Denys Mallister, I had somehow never consciously connected that Denys Mallister is... a Mallister. It actually fits very well with his rivalry with Cotter Pyke as an ironman vs Mallister rivalry, but until I was painting those little eagle pauldrons, I'd never considered him as a Mallister.
It also fits with GRRMs pattern of using the Mallisters in particular as a stand in for "The Nobility" - Will was arrested for poaching in a noble's woods - Mallister. There's a rough lowborn commander vs a hoity toity noble commander - Mallister. Catelyn realises she can hide in plain sight because nobles who have known her her whole life won't look twice at an apparent commoner - Lord Mallister, even though he's in a tournament in Kings Landing at that time.
The mini is pretty straightforward, classic Nights Watch colour scheme, but I'm fond of the details - his breastplate and especially those eagle pauldrons. Honestly if I'd noticed them before starting painting, I might have repurposed him into Jason Mallister, my bizarre minor character crush.
#good lord thats a lot of words about denys mallister#always surprise myself with the characters that inspire a doctoral thesis#i didnt even get into the charmingly 90s liberalism of Jon Snow - the chosen one by virtue of being a centrist compromise candidate#the Lord Mallister is at the tourney the day after being at the inn at the crossroads#even though Yoren says he nearly killed his horse to get there a day later from the same place#is basically the only logistical plothole ive ever noticed by myself and i LOVE it#its that emperors groove by all accounts it makes no sense gif#asoiaf#asoiaf fanart#miniatures#minis#a song of ice and fire#valyrian scrolls#cmon#nights Watch#denys mallister#house mallister#mallister doesnt look like a word anymore
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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Rewatching beyond thunderdome for the first time as an adult and I think George Miller might be a Genius actually??? (like obviously he’s a genius but I think he might be a Genius Genius)
#THE THEMES AND MOTIFS!!#like i know this is the one that alway gets talked down as being compromised because it’s pg-13 and there’s a bunch of kids running around#but you can totally see the dna of fury road and furiosa in it#anyway Christ I have like weird baggage about road warrior and I’ve never actually watched the first one and i don’t really Want To#But a bitch just might
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