a-song-of-art-and-fire

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

I'll never not find the mance-rattleshirt switcharoo hilarious

Bonus :

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

ned being held up as the metric for moral goodness in asoiaf is absurd like did you not read bran i, agot in which he beheads a man on the run from the others because he must fulfill his fedual oaths and he carries out the execution through his family's ancestral sword which was definitely forged for the exact opposite purpose, i.e. in defense of the north against the others. and then he uses ice again to behead the direwolf which was meant to protect his daughter. is it any wonder that he also meets his end the same way, through it, after spending the rest of the book in king's landing in service to a failed king, desperately trying to reassure himself that they are not repeating history. bran i is saying ice was already metaphorically broken long before tywin melted it down because the starks have forgotten their magical history yes, but also because ned represents an older, failed generation in service to hollow chivalric ideals. and it is now up to his children, the ones coming of age in a world destroyed by the previous generations—it is up to bran, sansa, arya, and jon to reforge their family legacy, away from contradictory oaths and in service to hollow paradigms. (and in a way ice is already currently being remade through brienne, who is not a knight of the songs but still the closest thing to the idea of a true knight)

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

Aegon Unworthy Administration Dashboard Simulator

⚔️ whiteswordtowerrr

the gold cloaks found my aegmon rpf guys it might be a while before my next update

💫 maidens-grace Follow

RIP OP this is why RPF is not only problematic (sinful against the Maiden AND the Smith) but will also literally deservedly get your skull put on a spike

⚔️ whiteswordtowerrr

I lived bitch. king aegon made me read it out loud to his brother because he thought it was funny but then he let me go. new chapter dropping in 20 minutes

#the dragonknight got all purple and furious but he did just have to stand there and take it. Just like in this next chapt- #the king did hook up with my sister afterwards though. what can you do

🍒lanadelreyene Follow

listennnnn im not saying he’s perfect im just saying liberating women from religious oppression and literal imprisonment in the maidenvault and letting his girl cousin do the economy and elevating women of all social standings to positions of prominence isnt NOTHING.

🫀tree-hearted

“king aegon is a feminist” “criston cole had hoes” you people will say anything on this website.

🛡️knighttime Follow

just saw that Daemon Waters kid like the king’s four year old bastard do a perfect standing backflip in the training yard. Kind of compelling. Kind of kingly. I don’t know…

#can prince daeron do a flip?????

🐉 rhaenyra-did-nothing-wrong Follow

It’s SO disgusting how the king would hire a H*ghtower hand only 50 years after that wretched family MURDERED HIS GRANDMOTHER AFTER USURPING HER THRONE. #UNWORTHYGATE

🪙 laenycashmoney150

Me and that nasty old man. To be honest

🌈 crystalcrowned Follow

I block everyone who is horny on main about the king on principle because fornication is a sin but op is talking about ALYN OAKENFIST?????? Girl.

🙌 fleabottomtop

Sneaking in through the secret tunnels in the red keep to smuggle queen naerys a vibrator and a blunt this shit is getting out of hand

💐 summersepta Follow

she would not like that. try again.

🙌 fleabottomtop

sneaking in through the secret tunnels in the the red keep to smuggle queen naerys a prayer book and a cigarette

🦇whentch

🐲 rogue-princess Follow

if i speak....🙈🤐

🐦‍⬛ raventreeballer-deactivated89169

FYI @ brackennation literally seduced the king to use her influence to ban pro-Blackwood posts on here. block and report this treacherous whore ASAP

🐎 brackennation-deactivated47170

I know it’s you missy. KYS jealous cunt

🎻bardalicious Follow

king aegon’s collection of teenage mistresses posting through it on the dash again

🔥 fireandwaters Follow

Sooooo sick of seeing delusional reachers reclaiming dragons**d as if that’s not a literal crownlands-specific slur used against the Valyrian-Westerosi community in King’s Landing and Dragonstone. I don’t care how many ae’s your grandma has in her name you are a HIGHTOWER you are a TARLY you are a REDWYNE you are seven forgive me for even saying this a BEESBURY. Categorically NOT a seed. It’s basically valyrian racefaking at this point

⛓️‍ gaymanpalehair Follow

Say it louder for the Great Bastards in the back!!!!!! theyre literally noble

🔥fireandwaters Follow

No I can say it?? I’m from KL I’m in the community why would it matter if I’m acknowledged

🌼 ever-sweet Follow

Seven hells my great-grandsire literally rode caraxes and I can’t acknowledge my own heritage? Dragonseed literally applies to ANY👏ONE👏of👏TAR👏GARYEN👏DES👏CENT.

🪵 kingswoody

At the rate the king is going everyone in the realm will be able to reclaim dragonseed in 20 years come on now

🐦‍⬛raventreeballer Follow

are we not going to acknowledge the toxic power imbalance of the king having had TWO Bracken mistresses and ONE Blackwood mistress????

🐚besterling Follow

THAT’S the toxic power imbalance you want to talk about??? That one??? Nothing else???

🔮hightowered Follow

okay I thought the valyrian racefaking discourse on here was dumb as shit but tell me WHY i just saw my bastard cousin serena change her name to “serenei” on all her socials and then start telling people she was from lys and can’t speak common.

#Good thing we’re dragonseeds otherwise this would be insane

🐟rainbowtrout Follow

non-riverlanders in 20 years when the Bracken-Blackwood beef becomes everybody’s problem because it’s a Targaryen civil war

🍎 fossoshethey

Quick where's that one meme about the valyrian god of prophecy playing dodgelance with random tumblr users

🎭mummersfarce Follow okay I’ll bite. did king aegon the unworthy fourth of his name do something problematic.

✨ fleabottombottom Follow

well as a dragonseed of dance-era descent i gotta say i am not appreciating how hard it is to buy purple shampoo in flea bottom recently what with the rate at which blonde bitches are being created in this kingdom fucking skyrocketing

🎭mummersfarce Follow

fucked up. blocking him now ✊

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

every single “they should have been smacked more” is a crazy take tho like the joffrey one feels particularly wild because not one but two people talk about robert nearly slapping him to death as a baby and are clearly freaked out by the incident, but people will say it about cersei & theon too and it’s like. u think MORE domestic violence would have made cersei stable?? rodrik cassell straight up says “i should have killed you as a kid” completely ignoring that the cavalier way theon’s life and death is treated when he’s a child is exactly the reason why he’s insane. none of the books are particularly subtle about this and yet!

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

Jaime……

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I have joked in the past that about stannorexia however I do need you to understand that I was being serious about Stannis Baratheon being anorexic that one is real

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

all the monkeys simultaneously killing themselves during the victarion-moqorro below decks laughing hysterically valyrian-singing arm is now exposed burnt flesh up to the elbow session means that one of the first things victarion asked his new wizard after finding out his powers worked was ‘can you get rid of all these monkeys’

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

jorah’s idea to leave while his liege lord was en route to his house for a month with intent to behead him qualifies as a machiavellian move in northern honour culture. ned didnt know someone could do that

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

Lord Ramsay Bolton My entry for the 2017 Theon Exchange recipient: (This was never revealed for some reason, I’m sorry) characters/pairings: Theon Greyjoy/ Ramsay Bolton rating: G warnings: None original prompt: Theon helping Ramsay put his armor on. A/N: This was inspired by the portrait of King Henry VIII and meant to portray Ramsay as an imposing, wealthy and royal leader. Notes: I’ve reposted this image here because the one on the exchange page was entered in a way that doesn’t play nice with a lot of blog templates. Feel free to support the exchange and re-blog the post provided by the link above or to re-blog this version. Or both. Or neither. The power is yours. Again, I don’t know who I ended up painting this for, and I’m sorry. 

Edit: this was @gibilynx’s prompt which is in retrospect hilarious

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Ramsay Bolton in Theon VI acok by tom romain

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

balons ship is called great kraken bc hes a self-aggrandising greyjoy traditionalist eurons ship is called silence bc hes a scary guy who cuts out his crews tongues aerons ship is called golden storm bc of his incredible pissing ability victarions ship is called iron victory bc um hes ironborn his name is victarion and hes not particularly creative

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

Hi! I hope that I don't bother you with my question. I'm asking out of genuine interest for an analysis and also because it has been 5 years since I last read any asoiaf book.

Coming from you comparison of Cersei's and Tyrion's time as Hand, what obvious mistakes did Tyrion make? I was probably not paying too proper attention because Tyrion did a lot of sympathetic things like ending Jeoffrey's terror on Sansa, or came up with a great strategy to limit casualties during Stannis invasion. His downfall struck me as Cersei conspiring against him, and Tywin taking all the credit for the work his son did. But I feel like I missed something here, and don't have all the details. (Again genuine question, not a "how dare you imply that perfect innocent angel uwu did anything wrong" way!)

i originally wrote a much longer list for this but i think the myrcella episode sums up most of the problems w tyrions politicking in microcosm

the entire point of the scheme is to embarrass cersei and undermine her with the removal of one of her spies. a lot of tyrions moves in acok are ridiculously cersei-focused because it makes him feel good to get petty wins over her he enjoys doing kings landing spy vs spy antics. constantly asking ‘what is cersei doing? does cersei know what im doing?’ when the answer to both is invariably ‘spying on each other’. when theyre still actively fighting three major enemies all this effort to plot and spy feels like it could be focused elsewhere. the scene where they laugh at stannis and renly pettily stupidly fighting each other rather than them obviously an acknowledgment of this neither of them notice

the idea to tell all the small council members different plans and then identify whichever one he told the story cersei gets mad at him for as her spy is good on paper a lot of tyrions moves are motivated by what makes him feel clever. in practice its kind of a mess

the idea of littlefinger having harrenhal is initially proposed to him by tyrion (who notes littlefinger looks extremely excited) as a reward for him arranging a hypothetical myrcella arryn match and then snatched away annoying and alienating him. its then next raised when littlefinger has obviously requested it to kevan/the tyrells/etc as his prize after the battle of the blackwater and he gets it. this isn’t necessarily direct cause and effect littlefinger always wanted to be a big lord he could have wanted harrenhal on his own but it seems like he was told he would have it, formulated his affc taking-over-the-vale plan, and then found out tyrion was fucking with him. again getting one over littlefinger makes tyrion feel good its gratifying to have the biggest schemer at court going grr you used me as a pawn and lied to me do NOT do that shit again

one of the main strengths of the situation tyrion inherits is a hypercompetent small council he immediately sets to turning on him (petyr) and giving them dangerous personal secrets (varys) while fantasising about having all their heads on spikes over the city walls

the idea of an elaborate plan to prove pycelle of all people is an incompetent lannister toady is absurd. you can tell that by talking to pycelle once. worse this makes pycelle hatee tyrion when if tyrion hadnt noticed he is ALSO a lannister he could have benefited from this !!

the sending myrcella to dorne plot that tyrion commits to lest cersei thinks he wasn’t serious and this was a finding-the-mole ploy (in which he gave them plans so obviously shocking and upsetting to cersei that if theyre her allies theyd immediately tell her) is terrible on the face of it and in affc proves to also be terrible in practice. the two outcomes are she gets crowned or killed both explicitly to start a war with the lannisters + burning one of your two spare heirs on the outing pycelle as a fraud and annoying cersei and littlefinger plan is. misguided. its insane to me he goes through w it he could still say ohh i changed my mind + let cersei think she’s persuaded him out of it (giving her a false win) or even just say yeah i was fucking with you haha you fell into my trap and exposed your own spy but he doesnt do either

tyrion’s conclusion on the plan is ‘this doesnt actually prove i can trust varys and littlefinger. theyre just untrustworthy in a subtler way. nobody in the world is as smart as me nobody has ever been this good at politics’

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

how did you understand victorian fans. i’m trying i really am but can’t get to the finish line

I thought every single Victarion chapter was fucking insane and offputting and it really took for me until adwd when he started confidently following two monotheistic religions at the same time with literally no understanding of why that would even be an issue to be like okay george rr martin you are fucking with me and I understand the specific way how now. And then I reread them and can’t appreciate them now.

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

how did you understand victorian fans. i’m trying i really am but can’t get to the finish line

I thought every single Victarion chapter was fucking insane and offputting and it really took for me until adwd when he started confidently following two monotheistic religions at the same time with literally no understanding of why that would even be an issue to be like okay george rr martin you are fucking with me and I understand the specific way how now. And then I reread them and can’t appreciate them now.

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nights watch onboarding process has to feel categorically insane but especially in adwd. like hello this is our boss. yes hes sixteen years old. yes up until like last tuesday everyone thought he was a terrorist. yes we democratically elected him. no hes not cool hes kind of a hardass. yes hes too short for his own sword dont point it out. no he doesn’t talk to anyone except for his weird freaky giant wolf he has some kind of unholy brain enmeshment with. are you swearing the kid lifetime fealty vows through the religious conversion blood sacrifice ritual or in regular church? yeah everyones been going with the old god blood sacrifice thing. i don’t know what it is. the bird can give you your w-2.

[a-song-of-art-and-fire]

by motodraconis