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lcv0n-moved · 5 months ago

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indie and private multi muse for original muses ft some muses from various pieces of media. nsfw / triggering content will be present and tagged accordingly. written by skippy. mun is 35+

rules:

no godmodding or drama please.

any hate or drama will result in being blocked.

please do not use me as a meme source.

do not steal any of my edits

i have adhd / anxiety & asthma which can make it hard to rp sometimes, so please be patient with me.

disco is available upon request.

i am private & will lean towards rping with mutuals. please respect this.

affiliated with: livedtough, nightmdic, huntrcsss, itsalcngstory, storiesbreathed, epihlogue, wr1tten, withinkandquill

canon muses:

wicked ( movie based ): fiyero tigelaar, galinda upland || alt fc: anya taylor joy smile 2: skye riley fellow travelers: tim laughlin, jakson fuller interview with the vampire: louis de pointe du lac jurassic world; rebirth: dr. henry loomis

ocs:

emanuel 'manny' kingsley || 25 - 50 || homosexual || the young british boy || originally born in london where he resided for the first thirteen years of his life with his mother, father and older sister emma, manny was always known for his shyness and his naivety that often got him into trouble. he was always one to try and help out any way he could which made him well known in the small town they lived in for his good nature and kindness towards everyone he encountered.

all seemed find until he began to grow attracted to a boy who lived near him, though it was nothing he really acted on due to his parents never being open to the idea of their children liking someone of the same gender. because of the fear of being shunned or worse, manny kept his feelings to himself until his classmates who also lived near him began to suspect that manny was different.

it was something he insisted wasn't true, though the rumors still ran rapid and eventually his parents found out about it. eventually manny was left with no choice but to come out as gay despite not being fully ready. it was something that he hoped his parents would support, but of course it was a revelation that was met with resentment and the only person who supported manny was his sister who was far more open and accepting which was more than could be said for those around the young boy who mocked him and made him feel like he was making the wrong choice for being who he soon realized was the true him.

it was when manny was thirteen and his sister was eighteen that emma was offered a job in the states which she was more than happy to take despite it meaning that she'd have to leave the country to work. this was perfectly fine with emma and because of how bad things were for manny after his coming out, she took him with her to start a new life away from those who bullied him. this was exactly what he needed and he was far happier in washington dc where emma would work.

as for manny, he went to school where he was far more sheltered than before and he even kept to himself on the weekends, afraid that his past would reoccur in washington if anyone found out about him. though he did make friends who were drawn in by his soft nature, he was scared to be himself which meant he was never able to go out and date anyone despite having boys and then young men that he liked while growing up.

eventually after high school ended and he got a job at a bookstore, manny and his sister began to drift apart as emma had her own life that meant she soon moved out while helping manny get his own place and settled in before they went their separate ways. they would always keep in contact and visit when they could but with emma in maryland, there were times when they weren't able to visit as often as they'd like. this was fine for the young man who was fine on his own and it would remain this way until life began to throw different challenges his way and he eventually chose to leave washington at the age of thirty to find his new home at a cottage in maryland where he found the peace that he craved so much.

it was in this home that things began to take another turn for the worst when his health began to decline starting at the age of forty. he wrote it off as a cold at first, or perhaps even some kind of infection, but it soon became clear that something far worse than that was going on. being diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia was not what manny expected, but it was a reality he had to live with. his life was now filled with medical things that he willed himself to stay strong through despite at times, he wanted nothing more than to give up. but it was a faith he thought he no longer had that kept him going and made him want to live. || fc: jonathan bailey || verses can be found here ( x )

aslan, prince of the fae || age unknown, physically 25 || pansexual || the runaway fae || born the eldest son to the royal family of the fae world that he knows to be home, aslan was given responsibilities at a young age when all he wanted to do was explore the other realms & put his powers to good use. all of which contain the use of magic to manipulative the world around him in different ways, he found himself tempted to experience all that he could of his abilities by leaving the world that he knew so well. finding himself in the unfamiliar world of mortals where it soon became clear that aslan was not like those around him. hiding the fact that he is immortal & possesses more powers than he can easily control on his own, he makes sure to make the most of the freedom he always craved so much. || fc: jonathan bailey

issac thompson || 25 || trans masc / pansexual || the supernatural writer || all his life issac knew he was different, even back when he was a child who was just trying to fit into the world around him despite knowing he wasn't who he wanted to be. because of his parents being in the spotlight since they were high profiled lawyers, issac had to be who they wanted him to be while taking solace in stories about fantasy worlds which made him want to one day write his own story. one that he hoped would one day make him a best selling author.

it was in secret that issac began to write stories, finding that he preferred the topic of vampires which he began to incorporate into his writing. all the while changing up his appearance to look more boyish which included cutting his hair and buying more masculine clothing. something his parents didn't approve of which led to issac going back to living how they wanted him to, at least until he was eighteen which was when issac began to take the steps to become who he wanted to be.

this unfortunately got him disowned from the family as they wanted him to remain the way they viewed him, resulting in young issac being homeless since there was no family willing to help him out. thankfully he did meet some nice people who were able to help issac not just find a home for himself, but also transition to the young man he is now who works at a food store while hoping that one day he might be able to get surgery to fully become the man he always hoped to be. || fc: jonathan bailey

isaiah vanderwaal || 30 || homosexual || the bastard son || unlike his older brother, theodore who was brought up to be a part of the crime family as the golden son, isaiah had a different upbringing due to him being adopted at a young age which made him an outcast from the start. though he was cared for and loved by his parents and older brother, it was evident that something was different about him. regardless of this treatment, isaiah was happy to have a good family that made sure he had everything he needed to be successful and healthy.

while theodore was homeschooled by a tutor and therefore never set foot in a school of any kind, isaiah had a normal school life where he made friends and began to figure things out in terms of who he liked. eventually realizing in high school that he liked boys, something he dared not admit to anyone from fear of his conservative parents finding out who would not support such a thing.

his secret only lasted so long and before he knew it, isaiah was dating a boy named matthew with whom he spent the last two years of school with. the two were inseparable and isaiah felt confident that he was in love until it all ended when matthew was in a car accident that involved isaiah as well just a week from their graduation. being the only one to survive the deadly crash, isaiah had to deal with the passing of his boyfriend which in turn made him want to become a paramedic.

following the passing of matthew and the reveal of his orientation that was met with negative responses from his parents and little support from his brother, isaiah graduated and spent the summer away from home until he went away for college, thus cutting ties with his family which resulted in him feeling lonely and a lifestyle of sleeping around and relying on drugs and alcohol throughout college. something that almost got him kicked out, but eventually he was able to get himself clean and get through school which resulted in him being the paramedic he is today who still struggles with drugs and alcohol. but he tries to put others first and deal with his inner demons in a more healthy way. || fc: ronen rubinstein

demetri godfrey, prince of the vampires || age unknown / physically 45 || pansexual || the ancient heir || born way back in the medieval times when the world was far different than it is today, demetri lived a life that was considered typical for the time. as his parents' only child, he was a reserved boy who was still polite with other children and people whom he would encounter with his parents.

it was his handsome looks and growing charming demeanor as he got older that made demetri popular within his home village and as he became a young adult, he met a young woman named celestina whom he married soon after they began dating. a year later their daughter was born whom they named, genevieve. all was good for the young parents until the day when it all came crumbling down.

the day he lost his family is something he never addressed or even dealt with after all the years that he existed. it is a part of his life that he bottled up while living the rest of his life in a sort of haze until he encountered a man with whom he started a relationship that lasted several years.

what he didn't realize was the fact that the man named benedict was in fact a vampire. not only that, but he was part of a vampire clan that liked to think of themselves as royalty who desired a new member who would act as their prince. the truth only came out when benedict lost control and bit demetri, nearly draining him dry before he regained his control and instead changed him. thus making him the prince that he is known as today who runs the clan while navigating the growing relationship with a huntress named theo, the first woman he felt anything for since his loss that he suffered all those years ago || fc: matthew goode || main ship with @huntrcsss

cole sear || 18 || bisexual || the young medium || born with a unique and terrifying ability to see dead people, cole had a childhood that was unlike anyone his age. reserved and quiet, cole was usually a target for bullying which only made things worse for the child who had no one he could turn to who would believe him about what he could see. that is until he met a man named malcom who worked as a child psychologist who slowly began to help cole find bravery in his ability that he used to help those who had not yet moved on.

now as a college freshman who is living away from home and his mother for the first time, the young student hopes to continue helping the spirits he may meet while putting the trauma of his past behind him. wanting to face his fears instead of running from them, cole wants to follow the guidance of the man who helped him so he may be able to help someone else like him one day. ( rewritten oc based on the sixth sense ) || fc: alex wolff

theodore vanderwaal || 35 || bisexual / leans more towards men || the son of crime || theodore's childhood was never normal growing up as he was born to a family who dealt in crime. to say his childhood was unlike those his age would be an understatement since theodore never quite knew peace. he saw more than one should when growing up in the city, but in a way it taught him how to survive such a dangerous life.

it was as he entered his early adult years that theodore strayed away from the life his parents wanted him to inherit, instead preferring to start his own business while living the life of hookups, drugs and alcohol while using his family name to get whatever he wants in life. that is, what he doesn't work for. but given his past and what his family does, the entire city of new york caters to whatever he wants. || fc: matt bomer

poppy, princess of the faes || age unknown / physically 10 || the quiet fae || unlike her older siblings who are known by so many of the faes within the kingdom, poppy is an introvert whi would rather be with her books and her pet dog. when she's not attending her mentoring sessions and important events, poppy likes to just do her own thing while knowing her brother, aslan will always be there if she needs him as he is protective over his youngest sister. despite being so quiet and reserved, poppy is never afraid to help wherever she can, and hopes to one day make a difference in the realm. || fc: florence hunt

isolde, princess of aetherglow || physically 25 / actually 1,000+ || pansexual || the healer fae || isolde is the only surviving member of the great royal family who once ruled over the small land of aetherglow which once thrived, though it began to crumble after the demise of isolde's parents. this left the young princess as their next ruler despite her not yet being married. therefore a distant family member was brought to the land to act as temporary leader, giving isolde a chance to find her husband so that she may some day take over as true ruler. this would be easier said than done as the princess is very headstrong and refuses to let her fate be decided by others. going along with her kind heart and her determination to help others in any way she can, specifically with her healing powers that she extends to anyone whom she encounters who may need a healing touch. || fc: adelaide kane

scarlett || physically 16 / actually 300+ years old || heteroromantic || the runaway vampire || there was once a time when scarlett had a normal life with her family as a regular girl, having dreams for her future that she hoped would one day come true. she was the youngest of three sisters whom she got along with well as they were more than just family, they were also her best friends. there was never anything to worry about until the day when she encountered a group of who she thought were just kids, not realizing until it was too late that they were actually vampires.

it was after growing close to her new friends that she learned the truth about them, though by that point she was already so close to them that she didn't want to cut off contact from them. she spent more time with them than her own family by this point as there was something about having fun with vampires who didn't have to abide by rules that she found exciting. that is, until the day she witnessed what it really meant to be a vampire. witnessing them feeding on innocent people filled her with dread and she returned to her home as she no longer wanted anything to do with them.

unfortunately it wasn't so easy to get rid of them and the vampires made it clear that she wouldn't escape them. resulting in the demise of her family that left her the sole survivor, albeit she wouldn't remain human for very long as they turned her into a vampire as well. it was with this new life and a thirst for blood that she killed her former friends before going on the run, hoping to find a way to move on past her trauma and find someone in the ever changing world that she could trust and get close to. || fc: bailey bass / delainey hayle

kenneth 'kenny' willard || 33 || homosexual || the lost boy || kenny was a quiet, catholic boy who attended school with his friend and secret love interest, hawkins fuller. together the two formed a secret bond that went beyond friendship, resulting in something far more that brought out the best in each other. kenny wasn't one to make friends very easily since he was reserved and focused mostly on his faith and being a good son to his parents, so he appreciated being able to break out of his shell when he got close to hawk when they ended up playing tennis together.

it all ended when classmates started to take notice of how close the two of them were, resulting in hawk pushing kenny away who became reserved again. then he was outed when he and hawk were caught together by hawk's father, resulting in kenny's parents finding out that their son was gay. his parents refused to accept this and kenny was even more alone than before, but he still wanted to be with hawk. something that he showed by following his former friend into battle during the second world war. this backfired as they were sent to different places and kenny did his best until an incident took place that left him for dead.

fortunately, he didn't die and though he was scarred mentally and physically with his left arm having to be amputated, kenny was just thankful to be alive. there was nothing left for him back where he once called home after everything that took place before he left, therefore he found his way to washington, dc. hoping that in doing so, he'd be able to find hawkins fuller and hopefully find a way to make a new life for himself while moving past all the trauma that he endured. || fc: callum turner

sofia cortez || 32 || heterosexual || the crime princess || sofia is a young woman who came from a humble background where she worked to make a life for herself while dreaming of a better future where she could make it big in the world. life was relatively quiet for the first twenty or so years until she began working at a nightclub shortly after turning twenty-one. it was during her time working as a bartender that she met cillian price, a handsome and successful businessman whom sofia quickly fell for. their relationship soon took off and sofia was introduced to a life of luxury and crime that she couldn't get enough of.

life was good with her and cillian for several years until she was lured in by mykel stark, another businessman whose mysterious charm and dark demeanor made sofia want more that she had with cillian. it was his involvement in crime that she found fascinating enough to assist him in the downfall of cillian and the young hacker known only as x. while they didn't fully succeed their goal, sofia and mykel did enough damage to weaken the man and the once humble sofia is ready to show the world that she's more than a pretty face. || fc: ana de armas

x || 35 || homosexual / demisexual || the man with the computer || x is a mysterious hacker whose identity has been wiped by him, leaving nothing to know about him besides the enigmatic name he goes by and the fact that he's a hacker. where he came from and what he did in his past is known only by him and is something he'll never disclose to anyone. unable to trust anyone enough to open himself up for love or close connections, he only works for ceo businessman, theodore vanderwaal. the two of them are only partners in crime despite his feelings for the older man that he chooses to keep to himself while focusing only on work that he gets from those he chooses to seek out. not wanting to give his heart away and have it be something he begins to regret. || fc: ben whishaw

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bcrnagain · 4 days ago

Text

indie and private multi muse for original muses ft some muses from various pieces of media. nsfw / triggering content will be present and tagged accordingly. written by skippy. mun is 35+

rules:

no godmodding or drama please.

any hate or drama will result in being blocked.

please do not use me as a meme source.

do not steal any of my edits

i have adhd / anxiety & asthma which can make it hard to rp sometimes, so please be patient with me.

disco is available upon request.

i am private & will lean towards rping with mutuals. please respect this.

affiliated with: livedtough, nightmdic, huntrcsss, itsalcngstory, storiesbreathed, wr1tten, withinkandquill

canon muses:

wicked ( movie based ): fiyero tigelaar, galinda upland ( alt fc: anya taylor joy }, elphaba thropp smile 2: skye riley fellow travelers: tim laughlin, jakson fuller interview with the vampire: louis de pointe du lac jurassic world; rebirth: dr. henry loomis

ocs:

#& ooc #& pinned post

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fandom-blackhole · 4 years ago

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To be seen or unseen P1

Medical Assistance

AN: Okay, so I know I said somethings about what this was going to be in my post asking if you wanted to be tagged, but in my sleep addled brain it went an entirely different direction and if I continued to write to get where I wanted it would be 10x longer and I don't have it in me for that right now. BUT, I can make a part two that finishes out what I promised, and the original idea for this fic if people want it. If this is all over the place, I do apologize. Also, HUGE thanks to the absolutely wonderful @joculatrices for editing this a bit last minute for editing for me! Thank you for reading, and I love you all! And a reminder Mobster!Paz will be coming next week and I will be working on THOTs Thursday during my down time....

Pairing: Boba Fett x Medic!Reader

Words: almost 3.3k

Summary: As a medic for Jabba the Hutt you had heard numerous stories and opinions, varying good and bad, about the infamous Boba Fett, you had never talked to him though, well until tonight.

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, P in V (wrap it before you tap it), spanking, light choking, cum lots of cum, petnames, mentions of violence, slight biting, idk I am probably missing something so let me know if there is something I need to add

P2- Wake Up Calls

You had known Boba Fett for as long as you had been working for Jabba the Hutt. Then again, even before the crime boss of Tatooine had hired you as an on-call medic for his bounty hunters and slaves you had heard the name, Boba Fett. His name was infamous in the outer, middle, and outer rims for his ruthless, ‘get the job done’ attitude. Boba Fett was one of those people that you need only to hear rumors about to be able to pick him out of a crowd. Boba Fett carried himself in a way that no other living being in the universe could match. He held a sort of confidence that only a man of his fame could hold, he walked in a way that just exuded power, and in a room of the most dangerous bounty hunters, criminals, and crime lords, Boba Fett stood out and owned the room. Boba Fett’s presence was just impossible to overshadow or suppress.

By the time you had been brought in as a medic for Jabba, Boba had already made his way into Jabba’s inner circle and held so much power that he could turn down even the emperor’s right-hand man. You never really saw much of Boba, he either was eerily efficient at his job and never got hurt, or he just never came to you. Either way, you didn’t mind much, because his aura alone was enough to suffocate you as you both stood in the same room. It always felt like he could see right through you, see every thought or feeling that ran through your head. He was stifling, and not in a way that you could say that you hate.

Boba himself may not have ever come through your small medical room in the palace, but several others with more than enough stories and opinions on him did. You found that most of the bounty hunters either hated his guts for the power that surrounded him, for the fact that he got paid the most and had first call on any and all bounties, or they had a neutral respect for him, as he was good at his job and he like everyone else was just doing as he was meant to do with the skill set that he had. The slaves on the other hand mainly had the same opinion and stories. When he did lay with one of them, he was always a rough lover, ripping pleasure out of them like it was his duty, and they all agreed that he was the best lay they would ever have, purely on the pretense that Boba had not just sought his own pleasure, like an animal with a one-track mind to get off and leave, but he had made sure and thoroughly that each and every one of his partners was left satisfied and ravished to their fullest extent. You had never been one to get flustered easily, but the downright filthy stories that you were told by the slaves of the palace would always leave you wanting and with heat radiating from your face, ears, neck, and chest.

No, Boba Fett never came to you or asked for help with any wounds he may have sustained, so when late one night you had a knock on your door you were surprised to find him leaning against your door. What furthered that shock was the fact that he had not sought you out at Jabba’s palace, instead he had come and found you at your home. While you didn’t doubt that finding your home was easy for the trained bounty hunter, you weren’t trying to hide, after all, you were just shocked that he had actually gone out of his way to come and find you, and you could only stare at him in shock.

“You just gonna stand there all night catching flies, doc, or are you gonna let me in?”

Embarrassment quickly flooded your senses and you stepped to the side with your head down motioning him inside. Boba, with his unbothered but calculating air, brushed past you causing a shiver to wrack through your body. As you shut your door, your mind raced with numerous questions and worries as to why the infamous bounty hunter was showing up to your home. He certainly wasn’t acting like he was in pain, and he wasn’t moving as if he had an injury he was hiding. In fact, he was moving around your small two-room home, looking over things in a way that felt like he didn’t really care for what he was seeing, but in reality, he was taking in every last detail possible. And when he finally turned to you, after several tension-filled minutes and you worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, the bounty hunter finally turned to you. He didn’t say anything at first, just slowly approaching you. You hadn’t even really realized you had slowly been backing away from him and his slow approach until your back hit your closed door. When he finally had you completely cornered, so close that your chests brushed with every breath, he slid his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from where your teeth had been worrying it. Then he slowly moved his beskar covered face, next to your ear and whispered, “What’s the matter, doc? Got something to be nervous about, feeling guilty about something?”

Completely in shock, and not knowing what emotion you should currently be feeling, you could only shake your head slightly, as you trembled in his grasp. You had no idea why he was here, and at this point, it felt more like a twisted dream your brain had come up with than reality. Why would Boba ever come here, the two of you hadn’t even spoken until this point or even made eye contact, you were always too scared or intimidated to even think about trying. So how could this be anything but a dream? There is no way that Boba even spared you a second glance while you were at the palace, there is no way that you, with nothing really special about you, would ever catch the Boba Fett’s eye. But something nagged at the back of your mind, whispering about all the times you had been in the same room as him and you had felt eyes following your every move, it whispered about how no matter where in the room you stood he was always facing you., it whispered about how none of the bounty hunters ever really tried to make moves on you after one of them had felt you up in the throne room only to turn up beaten bloody with rumors that Boba himself had gone after him, and for a reason, no one could pinpoint, but Boba never does anything without purpose. But you in your heart just could not accept that this whole situation was real.

But then Boba was cupping your chin and tilting your face to look at him through that pitch black, unreadable T, and he spread your legs by shoving his own up between your own. Your brain screamed at you that this wasn’t real, for you to break yourself from the daydream, but your heart pushed you to stay compliant, to see where this would lead, to push your luck.

“What are you thinking, doc? I wanna know everything little thought that is running through that pretty head of yours.”

“Wh-why are you here…..I...do you need medical assistance, are-are you hurt,” you barely forced those words out as the man himself chuckled, leaning so close that you felt his chest shake from the deep rumble before he replied.

“Doc, I am fine, you don’t need to worry about me, I promise. As for why I am here, well, let’s just say that I missed my favorite medic when I got back to the palace today, and I couldn’t wait to see her until tomorrow.”

“F..fav- I, Boba, we have never even spoken to each other, before now…”

“Doc, I don’t need to talk with you to already know you are my favorite being in that entire cesspool of a palace. I don’t need to speak with you to know that you have a kind heart and treat every patient you have with respect and kindness, even when they are undeserving. Doc, I don’t need to speak to you to know that every time you walk into the room all I want to do is focus on you. All I need to know is that when you look in my direction all I want to do is drop everything and take you somewhere private to fuck you every way you deserve, to give you so much pleasure that you would feel like you were floating for the next week.”

You only swallowed dryly, speechless at the very words that had just rolled off of his tongue. You felt yourself fluster when Boba grabbed your waist with his free hand and drag his thigh against your clothed core, and then he was speaking again as you gave out a few whimpers, “And Doc, I gotta say, I am getting a bit tired and impatient of just watching you, of you thinking about you, now I want to touch and take my fill of you whenever I want or need too.”

Boba was quick with his movements, and before you could even blink he had hiked your leg up onto his hips and ground into you, and while he still was wearing his codpiece, the two of you moaned at the small amount of friction the grinding granted both of you. Boba moves his hand, shoving it under your thin nightshirt and grabbing your breast harshly, groaning out, “Are you going to let me, doc? Are you gonna let me give you pleasure so no one else can? Are you going to let me bury myself in this cunt that I just know is dripping for my throbbing cock?”

With a whimper, you could only bury your face into his shoulder and let out a muffled, “Please, Boba…”

Then he was pulling away from you, ripping off his helmet to crash his lips onto your own as he worked on pulling his gloves off his hands. In the split second between Boba removing his helmet and him pulling you into a bruising kiss, you had been able to get a glimpse of his beautiful tan skin and inky black curls. Even with your small glimpse at his features, you knew that the man that was all but devouring you was more handsome than you could even imagine, and so much better looking than any other man you had seen in your short life, and you felt that Boba both knew and didn’t realize this fact. It was an honest shame that he would ever hide his face from the world.

You were knocked from your thoughts of his face when he started pulling on your sleep pants in a needy way, like if he didn’t get you bare for him right that second he would combust in on himself. And you guessed you were correct when he turned you around, bending you over as he all but ripped off his codpiece, and unzipped his flight suit saying, “I am sorry doc, but I have waited and dreamed of this pussy for too long to be patient and work you up. I need you now, but I promise to take care of you.”

With a whine, you only wiggled your ass back, making sure to brush against him, moaning when you felt the sheer size of him. Boba only shot back a grunt and brought his palm down hard on your ass growling out, “We go at my pace, Doc. I want you just as bad, but I am too big to rush too much. I refuse to hurt you now that I finally have you.”

And with that said, Boba shoves two fingers inside of your dripping cunt. The groan that he gives out when two of his fingers press into you makes you flutter around him and mewl.

“Fuck, doc, I think this pussy of yours is practically sucking my fingers in. Goddamn, you’re probably the tightest little thing that I have ever fucked. I can’t even imagine just how fucking good you’ll feel squeezing my hard cock.”

With each dirty word and groan from Boba’s mouth he matched it with a hard thrust of his rough and thick fingers deep inside of you. You honestly would have felt ashamed for how fast that he managed to get you so close to the edge, but in this circumstance, all you could think of was just how overwhelmingly good his fingers were making you feel. You couldn’t even get the words out to tell Boba how close you were, your lips too occupied with moans and mewls. And when you finally did tip over the edge, it was with a shout of Boba’s name that turned into a silent scream. All you could hear was white noise and your eyes were closed tighter than they had ever been in your life, and your senses slowly started trickling back into you. When you finally completely came to it was to Boba slowly still fucking his fingers into you murmuring reassurances to you, only to stop when you whimpered and pulled away from bordering oversensitivity.

“Fuck that was so sexy of you, doc, gushing all of your juices over my hand. I bet you taste as divine as you look right now, but that’s gonna have to wait because I N E E D to be inside you right now. Do you think you can handle more, doc,” you only answered him with a shuddering nod and a wiggle of your ass against him, which resulted in another ass slap and a growled, “good girl.”

While rubbing your lower back, Boba lined himself up and rubbed the head of his cock along your folds for a minute, teasing you before lining up and slowly inching himself inside of you. Still slightly delirious from the first orgasm that Boba brought you, the pain from stretching to accommodate his very obviously thick cock felt absolutely divine to you, but you didn’t push because as Boba said before, you didn’t want to hurt yourself. But the second that he was fully inside of you, his thighs pressed to the back of yours. You felt so full, to the point that you felt that you might burst open at any second, but the burning pain made you whine and ask him to just move, unable to stand him just staying unmoving buried deep inside of you.

When he did start moving and pounding deep inside of you, it was like a spell had been cast over you and you just opened your mouth and started spilling all of your deepest, dirtiest thoughts, “Oh maker, Boba...maker h-how many ti-mes I have thought about thi..is...god you are so thick, pl-lease don’t stop,” at this one of Boba’s large palms came down onto the back of your neck, lifting you up so that your back was pressed to his strong chest.

“Keep talking, little one. I wanna hear every dirty thought you have ever had about me, tell me, how many times did you come back here to your little home and touch yourself to the thought of my cock, did you get this wet just from thinking about me, were your fingers satisfying enough for you?”

At this point, Boba had managed to find the spot deep inside of you that had you screaming his name with every. single. jolting. thrust. Your words weren’t coming to you easily, so caught up in the pleasure that was flowing through your body, but Boba did not like that in the least. Slamming into you, he stilled right as his cock was pressing up against that spot, just grinding into it making you whimper and clench around him, as he growled into your ear, “Doc, I asked you a question.”

You tried to beg him to start moving again, tried to move your hips to get the friction you desperately craved. Boba just wrapped his fingers around your throat and squeezed just enough that you moaned at the sensation, and he growled out, “doc” as a warning.

“Fuck, Boba please! I...I think about you almost every ni-ight. Always spread my pussy thinking about how good it would feel if it was your hand not mine, how wrecking it would be to have your tongue on my clit… but it was never eno-ough, I always came aw-way wanting more, wanting the real thing not fan-ntasies. Maker, I need you Boba.”

As soon as you started rambling, Boba started thrusting in and out of you once more, this time with more force and at a faster pace. You felt yourself being thrust up into the air with each of his powerful thrusts, balancing on your toes as Boba held you up. Your throat was soon turning raw as your moans continuously got louder and louder the closer you got. Boba started kissing and biting into your neck with mutters that you couldn’t quite decipher with how far gone your brain was, there was no chance you would process anything that was said to you right now unless it was a command.

Just then you felt the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your throat sneak down to where you both were combined, before moving up and going directly towards your clit. It was too much for you, Boba hitting your g-spot continuously over and over, his fingers teasing your clit, and his fingers tightening minutely around your throat as he got lost in his own pleasure. One second you felt yourself climbing higher and higher and higher up the mountain of pleasure that Boba had set you on, and then you heard the one barked out the command, “Cum”, and you found yourself tumbling over the cliff, being thrown completely into the best orgasm you had ever had in your life. As you slumped, boneless and completely at Boba’s mercy, you felt him continue to pound into you roughly, but at a more erratic pace before quickly pulling out and painting your lower back and thighs with his cum while groaning out your name.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, before Boba gently sat you down, and turned to find a cloth to clean the two of you up. Once that was accomplished, Boba led you to the small bed you had set up, and laid you down, making sure to brush the hair out of your face once you were tucked in. What you hadn’t expected was for him to shed the rest of his armor and curl up behind you, holding you close, almost as if you would disappear from his hands if he didn’t. The two of you laid there, quietly enjoying the other, Boba tracing shapes on your hip with his fingertips, as you clutched his other one, your conjoined hands resting over your heart. Sleep was encroaching on your consciousness, and as you felt it start to take over you whispered, “Please be here in the morning.”

“I wish I could make this promise to you, little one, but I cannot say if I will be here when you wake.”

“Then stay for as long as you can?”

“That I can do, little one, that I can do.”

Tags: @justanotherstarwarswhore @shellyc9 @moodsare @anneliver @phoenixhalliwell @cobb--vanth @space-kates @victias @echos-newlegs @lelumi @bimsficrecs @the-chocoholic-writer @bunny-fair @sithdjarins @sassybananagardenartisan

(Please LIKE and/or REBLOG, it really helps me out)

#boba fett x medic!reader #boba fett x reader #boba fett x f!reader #boba x f!reader #boba x reader

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purrgara · 3 years ago

Note

for that fic trope mashup: bathtub fic and secret relationship for shyan 👀

- bigboybergara

This got angstier and longer than I had originally planned so uh--oops. Enjoy? |D

More Than Anything

Relationship: Shyan, Mentioned Standrew Tags: Insecure Ryan, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, secret relationship Tropes: Bathtub fic, Secret relationship

There was something intimate about it all. Intimate in a way that they hadn’t been all week. It was something about being close to each other while the cameras were still rolling. Something he couldn’t quite place. Something that made his tongue feel too big for his mouth and his palms sweaty. “I can’t believe the jets don’t work. We’re literally just taking a bath together.”

Ryan was laughing it off, desperately trying to defuse the tension building between them. The tension suffocates Shane with each second that ticks by. But the cameras weren’t filming now and Shane couldn’t bring himself to laugh back. Couldn’t bring himself to look it in the eye for fear of what he might see. “Yeah. Weird right?” No. That was wrong. They’d bathed together before.

Wrong wrong wrong but he couldn’t make the right words. He didn’t know what to say. So he pulled himself up and stepped out of the lukewarm water. He could feel Ryan’s eyes on his back. Knew there was a question in the down turn of his mouth. It was too intimate. Too close. The cameras weren’t rolling, but they had been.

—

“Why does it bother you so much?” Shane wanted to pretend he hadn’t heard the soft question, but he knew Ryan would be able to tell he wasn’t asleep yet. Instead he made a soft noncommittal sound. It didn’t bother him. It really didn’t. “Shane.”

Another long pause then Ryan sighed and rolled over so his back was pressed against Shane’s. The heat of it a scorching line through his shirt. “Goodnight, big guy…” he wanted to pretend he didn’t hear the hesitation in his voice. Pretend he couldn’t hear the hurt just under the surface, but he could. And he did and it felt like something in his chest shriveled up and died.

“Night, Ry.” He clenched his eyes shut at the pain behind his sternum. He was fucking this all up, he knew it. Could practically taste it in the air between them. Why does it bother you so much? Because—because because because.

Because when the cameras were filming they weren’t Shane and Ryan anymore. They were ‘Shane and Ryan’. They were skeptic and believer. They were best friends. Ghoul boys. When they were filming they had a reputation to uphold. They had the integrity of the show to think about.

When they weren’t filming they just— they weren’t. When they weren’t filming they were allowed to be themselves. He was allowed to be Shane, and Ryan was allowed to be Ryan. And they weren’t expected to keep up that carefully constructed dynamic. They were allowed to be Shane and Ryan and be ‘Shane and Ryan’ and they just—no one else needed to know they were.

“I—love you?” His heart cracked open because it sounded like a question and Shane hated it. Hated that he’d made Ryan question it, question them, at all. He felt sick as he carefully rolled over, the warmth of Ryan’s back slipping away. Shane saw his shoulders tense and it struck him again that Ryan didn’t know. He couldn’t know because Shane didn’t tell him. Couldn’t tell him.

He slipped an arm over his waist and pulled Ryan closer. Buried his nose in barely damp hair and held on tight. The static cam blinked innocently at the end of the bed and there’d be so much footage they wouldn’t be able to use but Shane pushed that to the back burner. He pushed away the anxiety of editing but he just didn’t care. Because he couldn’t let Ryan think he didn’t love him. Couldn’t let him think that was what Shane’s hang up was. “Love you more than anything.” It was muttered into Ryan’s hair, pressed into his skin like a benediction.

God he hoped Ryan understood.

Why does it bother you so much?

Because no one else deserves to see what you mean to me.

—

“Did you see the Instagram post Steven made?” There was a carefully constructed wall around Ryan’s question. One that sent up red flags immediately in Shane’s head. Beside him Ryan kept scrolling through Twitter, head pillowed against Shane’s arm, but he was too nonchalant. His eyes were too focused, in the way you knew they weren’t really looking at the phone screen.

“The one about him and Andrew? I did.” He cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his nose. “I’m happy for them.” Ryan made a soft ‘hmm’ noise in the back of his throat as Shane set his own phone down. Every fiber in his body was screaming ‘ABORT ABORT ABORT’ but his mouth was, once again, out to completely ruin him. “Better him than me.”

Ryan stiffened against him before he roughly jerked away. “What’s that supposed to mean?” There was a bite to his tone mirrored in his eyes. Shane wished he had the right words but everything kept coming out wrong.

“I just mean that Steven’s more suited for it.” The alarms were blaring.

“It.” Oh. Oh no. No no no he wanted to back track. Wanted to explain himself better but he couldn’t get the words out before Ryan was pulling away. Rising to his feet with his hands clenched at his sides. “Well sorry you’re not suited for it.” He snapped, turning on his heel and storming toward the hotel bathroom.

The door slammed shut before Shane could even get off the couch. Shit. Shit shit shi— “That isn’t what I meant!” But the door stayed shut and the sound of the shower running drained out his words.

—

“Ry?” Shane asked tentatively almost an hour later as he stood outside the bathroom door. “I just meant the spotlight suited them better. Ryan, please open the door.” For the longest time there was no sound other than the shower water running, then a soft, barely there hiccup.

Shane’s stomach fell to his feet. Oh. It didn’t take much to scare Ryan, not really, but to make him cry? “Fuck.” It was breathed out as he pressed his forehead to the door. Trying the knob it gave with a light click. “Baby? I’m coming in alright?” He hesitated long enough for Ryan to protest if needed. When none came Shane slowly opened the door and sighed at the sight before him.

The shower curtain was wide open, Ryan sitting in the tub with his back under the spray. His knees were drawn up to his chest with his chin hooked over top. They let the silence stretch on longer as Shane came over, hesitating only briefly before climbing into the tub to sit opposite Ryan.

Drawing his own legs up, Shane wrapped his arms around them and muttered softly, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about our relationship Ry.” A small understanding nod and a small hitched breath was the only reply for a few minutes.

“Why does it bother you if people know?” Ryan asked on a sharp intake of breath. His voice broke on the last word and Shane felt sick with the sound. “About this? Us?” A puffed out humorless laugh and then, “Are you ashamed of me?”

“What? No! That’s not—no!” Dread gripped at his lungs and he couldn’t breathe. “I’m not ashamed of you, or us, or anything like that! I just—I meant that I couldn’t… I couldn’t do it. Not like Steven or Andrew can.” This wasn’t how he wanted to approach the subject. It wasn’t how he wanted to admit it and the nausea was almost unbearable.

Dark eyes looked up though clumped lashes and Ryan’s arms slipped tighter around his legs. He looked like a child. The thought struck him like a blow to the chest and Shane could only reach out and trace his knuckles along Ryan’s cheek. “I can’t share you.” It came spilling out like an over filled pot left to boil. Too hot, too much to be contained.

Ryan leaned into the touch with a sigh. “So instead you want to keep our relationship a secret.”

“I don’t want to share you with the world, Ry. No one else needs to know what we have. Andrew and Steven can keep that spotlight. They live for that spotlight. I—don’t. All I need is you, Ryan. All I want is you.” He couldn’t stop the words once they started, couldn’t pull back and rethink. Because if he did that, they wouldn’t be said. And Ryan… Ryan deserved to know. To understand. “I’m not trying to keep us a secret. I just don’t want to post it on fuckin Instagram for the world to scrutinize.”

His hand trailed down and back to wrap around the back of Ryan’s neck. “People, fans, they already suspect something’s between us and you know how they are. If we were to make some big deal about coming out or whatever—“ A harsh breath and a shake of his head, “It’ll be like throwing a meatball to starving wolves. I want to be able to enjoy what we have. I’ve seen couples fall apart after going public and I don’t—I don’t want to resent you, Ry.”

Ryan moved one hand to grip the outside of Shane’s knee as he exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to share you like that, but if that’s what you want,” Ryan looked up sharply, eyes frantically searching Shane’s neutral expression. “I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you, you know that.” He could feel the tightening in his chest loosen at the admittance. Could feel his fears swirling down the drain as Ryan’s insecurity cracked away.

“I wasn’t meaning to hide you away as some dirty secret. I just wanted to enjoy being with you like a normal person.”

“I don’t need the world to know, Shane.” It was whispered into the small space between their folded knees. “I just want you to stop pulling away from me like you’ve been burned every time we touch on camera. I’m tired of thinking you don’t care about me.” His fingers tightened on the uncomfortably wet fabric of Shane’s pajama pants. “We don’t have to explicitly say anything but I don’t want you pretending we’re less than what we actually are.”

His hand fell away as Shane’s hand tightened around the nape of his neck. “I don’t need to do some public announcement or some grand gesture, I just need you, my boyfriend, beside me.”

Shane nodded numbly as he leaned forward to press his forehead to Ryan’s. “Yeah… yeah okay. I think I can do that.” It was breathed against his lips as Ryan’s curled into a gentle smile.

“I know you can, big guy.” He pressed their lips together before pulling away with a mischievous smile, “You know what else I need?”

“Hmm?”

“To get out from under this water. I’m freezing and pruney.” Shane wheezed out a low laugh and shook his head before pushing himself up to reach behind Ryan’s head and turn the water off. Stepping out of the tub he smiled warmly down at Ryan.

“I’ll get you a towel.” Ryan smiled up at him, open and honest and something warm and gooey melted in his heart. He turned to go back into the hotel room for dry clothes and the fluffy towel in the closet when Ryan’s low voice called back to him,

“Hey, Shane?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to share you, either.” He could hear it clear as a bell. Tucked neatly behind his own words. I love you too. It warmed him from the top of his head down to his own pruney, sopping toes.

The world didn’t need to know what they meant to each other. As long as Ryan knew, and Shane knew, that was all that mattered.

#my writing #shyan #fanfiction tropes #bigboybergara #I really honestly didn't mean for it to get so--#angsty #mentioned standrew #because of who I am as a person right now #I couldn't help myself #Sorry bout that

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king-paimon · 4 years ago

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HnK Post Chapter 95 Thoughts: 3 Months later...

Hi guys…. I’m so sorry for being away for so long and delaying this post. I can’t believe March is already almost over. This year is going by way too quickly, but honestly, is that really a surprise? I was working on this post back in January and was planning on posting it then, but life has been more busy than usual for me. I still feel really bad for promising to post this and not being able to keep it. But here it is now! I don’t know how many people will see it since the Houseki no Kuni tags have been pretty quiet, but you know what? I’m kind of glad I didn’t post this post right away because I wanted to properly talk about my feeling about the chapter, the series, and Ms. Haruko Ichikawa herself, and doing that when I was still emotionally charged wouldn’t have done this post justice. And though I don’t think my thoughts overall has changed too much, I’d still like to share my thoughts, if you are interested in hearing them.

This will be another really, really long post, so be prepared! I’m definitely going to be doing a lot of edits on this one so please bare with me if anything doesn’t make sense. Please let me know if anything I said is too confusing.

Anywhoo~ here it goes:

My view of the story at this point

I had to go over my last post to see if any of my original opinions had changed and, well, for the most part, not too much. Most of the gripes I have with the story is still about the same, particularly the remaining gems becoming lunarian and the many implications that comes with it, though I would say some of my anger has subsided. I’m still bothered by it, though. I understand why the story would go in this direction and why the characters, especially Euclase, would choose to make this drastic decision to change themselves, since that was they ultimately wanted: to no longer live in fear of being destroyed and live peacefully, even if it means changing what they all were. It’s still bothers me a lot, mainly because I can relate this to similar real life events of people erasing their cultural and even racial identity as a means of survival in a different and so-called “better” society. I remember in one of my very first posts in the fandom, I stated how uncomfortable it made me that the first moon gems were totally fine assimilating into Moon society and were wanting to completely change themselves to fit in this society, even if it meant removing what made them who they were. For characters who didn’t like their original identity like Cairngorm (or Welegato but I’m not calling them that), or felt stunted in their original society like Dia, and found solace in Moon society, I can see how this transition as a liberating thing…but only to an extent. The thought of literally going to the extremes of changing yourself inside and out, erasing all traces of what made you “you”, while also destroying all old meaningful relationships in the process, to live in a place you were conditioned to be believe is the better option for you…It hits a little too close to home.

I’m talking about cultural assimilation and cultural destruction, where racial and cultural minorities sometimes go through drastic measures in order to assimilate into the “better” society, even if it means completely erasing their original identities physically and mentally. I’m not saying all forms of assimilation is inherently bad and I’m not saying that you must stick with your cultural upbringing for it’s a part of your identity; that is a toxic view and it’s especially bad if you experienced terrible things because of that upbringing. I’m trying to talk about the extreme cases of assimilation when these individuals are essentially convinced to go through extreme measures to fit in to the “better” society because their old identity was “bad”, and by completely changing themselves, from their appearance to even their name, then they can finally be happy in the so-called “better” society. I’ve heard of people going through such lengths and it’s heartbreaking. It’s very cultish and that’s how I viewed the transition of the gems becoming Lunarians, with everyone accepting the change with seemingly no issue and especially after Aechmea literally gave Cairngorm that new name. It would have been one thing if Cairn picked that name themselves, but it was all Aechmea. The lustrous don’t exist anymore and everyone is ok with it. The gem society that we knew, at this point of time, is gone now. It was far from perfect but the fact that it’s gone is sad and disturbing to me.

My view of the key characters of the chapter

Now that I stated how I feel about the gems essentially being erased, the next question is how do I feel about these characters themselves?

Conflicted. Very, very conflicted, and even a bit disappointed and upset, especially with certain characters more than others. But surprisingly, even after seeing how the turn of events turned out for all of them while Phos is stuck on Earth alone… I don’t hate them. Yeah. After everything that has happened, I currently don’t hate the gems… For now, anyways. It all depends on what happens next.

But the one character that I feel the most conflicted with is Adamant, especially after his interaction with Aechmea. Part of me is confused by Adamant’s and Aechmea’s seemingly friendly interaction because of Adamant’s past actions and words, for they don’t seem to belong to someone who would be on friendly terms with someone who they were actively resisting against before. I’m talking about all of the times that Adamant would fight off the Lunarians but also that moment in Chapter 85:

(Chapter 85, Pages 10-11)

After seeing things like this, I just find it odd how Adamant’s interactions with Aechmea are so friendly now. And with the horrifying implication that everything that had happened was planned between them, which also doesn’t make sense, I’m not sure what to think. Maybe Adamant’s changed attitude relates to him being free of his burdens and physical body? This could explain the change in attitude, but it still feels… off. Maybe I’m looking too much into this. I don’t want to hold hope that when he and the other gems were transformed that Aechmea somehow manipulated their memories to make them more compliant, even though it was made clear that memories were going to be lost in the process. Maybe this will be explained more in the next chapter, but I won’t hold my breath for that either. To me, this just made me feel weird about Adamant because remember, I was both sad and relieved when he disintegrated in the previous chapter because I really liked his character. Now though, I’m not so sure. I still don’t hate him or any of the other gems, but I’m definitely on the fence with him more so than the others. I certainly don’t hate Euclase like many other fans; I didn’t agree with their past actions (or rather lack of actions), but like with Phos and other characters, they did what they felt was right given what they knew. Still not excusing it, but I understand why. As for Antarcticite... I’m not sure, honestly. Though I’m glad at least they brought up Phos, I can’t help but feel that their main priority is still Adamant. Out of recently changed characters, Antarcticite is the main character I have the most positive opinion on, but again, that can easily change within the next chapter.

So yeah, I still have mixed feeling about all that has happened that led to this point in the story, and I do have a more negative view of some of them. But regardless of that, I can’t bring myself to downright hate any of the characters. Disappointed with their decisions is one thing, but to hate them with every fiber of my being? No. I don’t think I can. At least for now. The same goes to the Lunarians, too. Hell, even though I’ve said before that I hated Aechmea for how he manipulated Phos and the other gems for personal gain, once again, I don’t think I downright hate him either (though I still want something bad to happen to him.) Aechmea is such an intriguing antagonist that I love to despise.

My view of Haruko Ichikawa at this point

Since the release of chapter 95, I’ve seen a lot of fans post their criticisms of Haruko Ichikawa herself regarding how she’s writing the story and her treatment of the characters. Someone even commented on my chapter post about how they don’t view her story as ‘amazing’ anymore because of her cruel treatment of Phos and the depressing turns in the story. Even popular commentors like @rinboz posted their criticism about what Ms. Ichikawa is doing with her story. As for me, I can agree with some of the comments made to an extent. Some of the choices Ms. Ichikawa made in the story has had me question her a few times; like the mentioned interaction between Aechmea and Adamant as well as the extremely predatorial relationship between Achmea and Cairngorm. I still think that chapter 95 was extremely rushed, especially going through the previous events that were stretched out into nearly 10 chapters. There are many other smaller issues that I personally have when it comes to how Ms. Ichikawa writes her story and characters, but I think the biggest criticism I’ve seen that I agree with is the concern about the current direction of the story. And at this point, the story can only go in so many directions and most of them are leading to anything but a genuinely happy ending for Phos. And it’s pretty depressing that Ms. Ichikawa has some of us pleading for Phos to die so they don’t suffer anymore. I can’t think of any other story that has me wanting the main character to die, not because I hate, but because I don’t want them to be mistreated anymore. This story is nothing but hopelessness.

But you know what’s crazy? I kind of like that.

Maybe Ms. Ichikawa has made me a glutton for tragic stories, or because I’ve been starving for a unique story, but I kind of like that this story hasn’t gone in the predictable, happy route for everything Phos has gone through. If this story were written by someone else, I can picture Phos somehow regaining their appearance and memories, be surrounded by the people who truly cared about them and their enemies dead, and pretty much having the picture-perfect happy ending with no form of problems whatsoever as an award for everything that Phos previously sacrificed. Yeah, this is the ending I’m sure fans want in some shape or form and to a degree, I do too. But to be honest, I’m kind of glad that’s not the story that we’re getting, at least right now. In a weird way, it’s sort of refreshing to have a main character who doesn’t always win in the end, especially after all of the things the character sacrificed.

And I also how the story and it’s characters can be so simple and complexed at the same time, like in her anthology series. To me, this makes Ms. Ichikawa stand out from the many mangaka I’ve followed throughout the years. And because of that, part of me hopes she knows what she’s doing and has something extreme planned for the story’s future.

Now, I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot for still thinking highly of Ms. Ichikawa’s writing; there are still things that I think could have been handled differently, like the mentioned pacing and story details. But for now, those gripes are not too irritating for me and I’m not quite ready to downright say that her story is bad...YET. I want to reserve my final opinion of Ms. Ichikawa as a writer until the end of the series, whenever that will be, because despite how the story has progressed for last several chapters, I’m still enjoying writing. I just hope that when the series does come to an end that Ms. Ichikawa gives us a satisfying end. When it comes to ending a series, how an author does so can really affect how fans view the series and the author, and I think this will be the case for this story, though I’m sure there will be criticism regardless of what kind of end Ms. Ichikawa creates. For me, while I do care about whether Phos and the other characters get the endings they deserve, I just hope it will be told well. I’ve seen too many times really good series ending terribly because the creator didn’t know how to end a series properly. I sincerely hope that won’t be the case with Ms. Ichikawa.

From this point forward

I remember seeing a lot of readers who are upset with how the story has progressed thus far, with some even saying that they were going to drop the series because of how depressing it is. I think everyone who felt this way has every right to feel that way; it’s completely understandable. Houseki no Kuni is definitely not a story for everyone, and it can take an emotional toll on you. I know it certainly affected me that way, and I can’t think of many other series that has done that. It’s been a long since I’ve been so invested in a series and despite the many emotional rollercoasters I’ve felt during parts of the story, I don’t think I will ever say that I regret picking this series up. And despite my mixed feeling about the latest chapter, I want to continue to stick with it. Even if the story continues to spiral in a never-ending pit of despair, I still want to stick with it until it ends. And you know, I think even if this series does have a somber, heartbreaking ending, I think I’d still view the story as overall amazing and I’d still be glad I got into it when I did...Unless Ms. Ichikawa gives us an abrupt, unsatisfying ending. Then that opinion goes out the window.

Until the next chapter comes out...

Other than being busy, I admit that I’m glad to be taking a break from Houseki no Kuni. Despite my many praises, it still takes a lot out of me and I definitely needed that break. And though I personally don’t mind waiting a bit longer, I can’t wait for it to back. I sincerely hope that Ms. Ichikawa doing alright, especially after all of the chaos happening for the past year, and that she enjoys her time away from the series. I hope she’s staying healthy in body and mind, and I’ll wait with bated breath for the next chapter of this story.

Besides this post, I actually had a few post ideas that I want to work on, but because of my schedule, those will have to wait a while. I wanted to make another story prediction post because even though they are sometimes wrong, they are fun to do. I think I’ll wait until the next chapter to come out to make that one. The other post I’ve been somewhat working on is a bit different from my usual post; it’s somewhat of a character analysis/reflection and it’s on a controversial character that while many justifiably hate, I personally can’t. (Can you guess who that is? I’m sure you can!) Because of how many people hate this character, I was not sure if I wanted to write it. But you know what, I’m going to do it anyways. When that post will be done? I have no clue, but this will be an interesting writing exercise for me and I can’t wait share why I don’t hate this character the way many other fans do.

The end!

Well, that’s the end of this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I will likely go over this again at some point but it’s getting really late and I need to get some sleep. I hope everyone is doing well and keeping themselves busy during this series hiatus. Maybe unwind by reading/watching a new series. There are some interesting ones that came out last year and this year. I personally stated watching Wonder Egg Priority. It’s really good but deals with a lot of heavy subject matters, so be warned. I’vve also watched lighter stuff like Lupin the Third (I love this franchise so much) and some of the new shows on Netflix. I would like to see some more stuff but I don’t know what to look for. If you have any recommendations, please feel free to leave a comment.

Until next time, I hope everyone has a pleasant week 😊

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk spoilers #lotl spoilers #hnk #lotl #hnk thoughts #hnk phosphophyllite #hnk chapter 95 #hnk adamant #hnk aechmea #haruko ichikawa #long post #personal opinion #personal thoughts #hnk phos #hnk meta #hnk manga spoilers #hnk spoiler

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talesofphantombandits · 4 years ago

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Zero to Six ~ An Unexpected Visitor - Edited version. Part 2.

Characters: Four X Zero (OC) Summary: Zero was the first person to be ‘saved’ by One, she was his first honorary Ghost. Her knowledge in tech meant she got the role of ‘Hacker’ she recruited new team members, looked for missions and locations and made sure every security measure was looked at. You know normal hacker spy stuff. But her tough up bringing meant that if needs be she could fight, she was maybe even better than some people on the team knew. But due to One’s protectiveness over her she had to stay hidden, she was more of an actual ghost than the rest of the team was. This didn’t mean she couldn’t have her fun though, over the months of being with the full team she had formed quite a passionate love/ hate relationship with the handsome Four. Who knows what sparks would fly if they were ever to meet. Warnings: Slight swearing, some suggestive flirting in later chapters.

Tagg list: (I know this is a edit of my original story but if anyone wants to be tagged let me know.) @raylan-c

Zero to Six ~ Part 1. Edited Version Zero to Six ~ Part 3. Edited Version. Masterlist.

“Hey, anyone there?”

To say Zero was a mess would have been a big understatement. After she had shut off the coms she must have sobbed for a good thirty minutes before she picked herself up from the floor and decided that a glass of rum would help calm her nerves. She knew that One would take his sweet time reaching out to her again, and wouldn’t let the others contact her either. So she waited, he mind was reeling but she knew technically Six’s death wasn’t her fault. She still felt to a degree that if she hadn’t of picked him he would still be breathing somewhere, maybe with the love of his life on a nice sandy beach. But then again if she hadn’t of picked him she would have had to pick someone else, and that someone else would have been in that car dead instead of Six.

So when Fours voice travelled through her speakers she immediately shot up from the floor, leaving her half filled glass where it sat and tripped her way over to the laptop. Picking up her headset she tried not to sound so distraught. “Four, never thought i’d be so happy to hear your whinny little voice.” She tried to sound lighthearted but failed miserably.

She could tell that he was also trying to mask how much he was hurting. “How are you Zero?” She was shocked, out of all the team Four and Six seemed to have bonded the most, probably due to their similar ages and interests.

“How- how am I? Four, how are you doing? Out of us all you were the closest to Six.” She wanted to do nothing more than hug this man right now.

“One just threw him into the sea, like he meant nothing. I really don’t want to talk about it right now Zero or I might just go out there and strangle One. But I wanted to at least make sure that you were okay.” Her heart started to beat so fast she thought it would beat right out of chest. He was worried about her in a time when he should have been worrying about himself.

“I’m sure that’s not how it was, One cares about us deeply. But I’ll respect your wishes and we won’t speak about it, but I’ll be here when you’re ready to so. As for me, I’m fine. Shaken up but fine, You don’t have to worry about me Four.”

“I know sometimes it doesn’t seem like it, but I do really care for you Zero. So do the rest of the team, but you tell any of them I said that and I’ll find out where One keeps you and murder you in your sleep.”

She chuckled at the empty threat. “Yeah, good luck with that one. One would never give up my location willing or not. Plus what makes you think I’d succumb so easily with out a fight.”

She heard the deep chuckle and knew some smart ass comment would follow it. “Believe me darling, from the moment I step through your door you’d be falling at my feet.”

“OKAY as much as I’m glad to have the old cocky Four back, I’m cutting you off now. Get some sleep you idiot.”

“Okay mummy.” He said in a mocking tone.

She couldn’t help it and decided she would have the last laugh. “Is that one of your kinks Four?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Maybe we can carry on this conversation when we meet.” She knew he was smirking. “Night Zero, dream of me. I know I’ll be dreaming of you.”

She couldn’t say another word so she just shut down coms and slammed her laptop shut. “Stupid little shit,” Why did he make her feel like this, especially when he wasn’t here to do anything about it.

She leaned back on her chair, stretching out her arms over her head her back clicked in several places which made it feel so much better. She needed to put a reminder on her fridge to do a work out tomorrow, she was starting to become so stiff sat at her computer all the time. There were parts of her that really yearned to be out in the field with the rest of the team, even if it was only a one time experience, who knows she might hate it and want to come back to her stuffy flat life. Who was she kidding, she wanted adventure and a little bit of risk here and there and she wanted her family. She would however have to have a little conversation with One about the safety of the team and about treating them better. Her heart had broken hearing how fragile Four could be. They might have been ghosts but underneath they were still human beings with feelings, and if One was going to crush that then she had a problem with it.

Maybe that was why she was so interested in Four? 2 years with only One as her only physical human contact and it was starting to take a toll on her, Four challenged her every time they spoke. And she loved a good challenge. She sat at her desk for two more hours, despite scolding herself for sitting too long that her bones began to ache. But she had research to do which consisted of finding a new team member and the faster she got it done the faster she could send it off to One and she could stop beating herself up about potentially bringing in a new person just for them to die like Six did. After a while she decided that she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. She sent the research to One, saved all the documents then shut her laptop down and proceeded to walk to the bathroom to take a nice long hot shower.

The warm water calmed her immensely, when she stepped out and put on her silk pyjamas she felt even more sleepy then she did when she was in front of the laptop. As soon as her head hit the pillow she drifted off to sleep.

.........

She shot up in bed, heart racing.

The loud banging coming from the front door was real, she hadn’t just dreamt it. She suddenly thought of Four’s threat from earlier but quickly shook it from her head. Don’t be stupid, It can’t be Four. Her eyes snapped to her bedside table to see 3am blaring on the digital clock. “What the actual hell, who decides to go bang on someone’s door at stupid o’clock in the morning?!”

She grabbed her gun from under her pillow, pointing it out in front of her, she was in full on attack mode. She exited her room and headed down the hall and towards the front door, all the while sticking to the walls. She waited a while, gun pointing towards the centre of the door maybe whoever had knocked got the wrong flat and moved on. But then just as she started to lower the gun the door rattled and the knocking began again, only louder this time.

“Zero! open up its One.”

Zero cocked her head to the side, was he actually serious? She carefully walked towards the door, gun still raised. Peeking through the peephole she confirmed that it was in fact One at her door. She sighed rubbing her tired eyes but opened the door just wide enough so he could slip in.

“Hey!” He made himself at home straightaway, walking past her to go sit on her couch.

She shut the door making sure it was locked, she then made her way to stand in front of him but not before setting down the gun on the coffee table. “Don’t ‘Hey!’ me you dumb ass, what the hell are you doing here?!”

“Nice gun! is that new?” He leaned forward and inspected the weapon.

Was he being serious right now? “ONE!” He’d woke her up just to come and annoy her? “I asked you a question.”

“I came to give you your plane ticket.” He stood up slightly and pulled a ticket out of his back pocket, he extended his arm out to Zero.

She took it off of him and examined it, it was a ticket back home. Home was also where their base camp was. “You never come to give me my plane ticket in person, what’s really going on? Is this about Six?”

He just rubbed his face in frustration, the first real emotion she’d seen from him since he’d entered her living space. “Can you at least get me a drink before we discuss this?”

She just sighed and looked towards her kitchen. “I only have rum.”

“Then we shall have rum!” She just rolled her eyes but continued through to the little kitchen. If she was going to stay awake through this she might as well poor herself a small glass as well.

She handed him the glass and then settled herself in the seat across from him. “So, talk.”

She took a sip of her drink but very nearly spit it out when he spoke. “I want you in the field for the next mission.”

A thousand thoughts crashed through her mind all at once, that she found it hard to focus on One as he continued to speak. She was going to get her adventure, she was going to get to show the whole team that she wasn’t just some computer nerd, she was going to be able to breath the same air as Four, she was going to be meeting her family.

“Zero! Did you hear me?” She looked to One who had leaned forward in his chair.

“What?”

“God I hope you weren’t dreaming up the perfect scenario of finally meeting Four.”

She was still in shock but managed to ask. “Did you just say that I’m finally going out in the field?”

“Just the once, with Six gone we need all the help we can get in the next mission and you are my best eyes and ears.” He looked so calm just sat there sipping from his glass when she was sat opposite him freaking out. “You will keep your identity a secret though, none of the team is to know that you’re there.”

Just like that One had given her, her deepest wish and then crushed it right in front of her. “How will that work? They will know the sound of my voice anywhere.”

“Not if you put on a accent.” This was cruel, even by One’s standards. “Listen it’s for the best that you don’t interact with any of them. You’re lucky that you have full anonymity.”

“What if I don’t want that? What if I actually want to meet the only family I’ve ever had? I don’t get why you lock me away from them.”

“It’s for your own safety, you’ll thank me one day. Look at what happened to Six, do you want to end up like that?”

She was seething now. “You really hurt them today you know, Four got in touch with me. He wanted to see if I was okay after what happened to Six.” She had to pause to stop herself before her voice broke.

“I know you want us all to work as a team but some how distance ourselves from one another. We all maybe faked our deaths but were still human One, it’s human nature to care deeply for those that are closest to us.” The tears were welling up in her eyes now. “You just tossed him off the side of that boat like he was nothing. Is that what you’re going to do to the rest of us?”

He just stared at her for a long second then necked his drink and slammed the glass down on the table next to where the gun still laid. She didn’t even flinch, instead she stared him down.

“I think it’s time for me to go.” She just scoffed and looked down at her hands that were placed in her lap, she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. “I looked through your research before I came here.”

He got up from the couch but didn’t make any move to the door. “I think Blaine is the perfect fit for number Seven. As soon as I land on home turf I’m going to recruit him and introduce him to the team. In a months time I’ll contact you with a meeting place to discuss your field work.”

“Great, another person I picked for you that you’re going to rip from their family and make their life hell.” He didn’t say another word and she didn’t look up from her lap.

All she heard was his footsteps walking towards the door, it swinging open and then slamming shut again. Once she was completely certain he had gone her head fell in her hands. She rubbed her face and felt a sweeping wave of sleepiness draw over her, she stood up and picked up the gun that was still on the coffee table. She made her way to the door to lock it properly, she then made her way back to bed and placed the gun back under her pillow. She hoped that just as before the tiredness would over take her and she would fall into an effortless slumber, but as she laid her head gently on the pillow and closed her eyes all she could see was Six’s lifeless body and all she could think about was how she’d put him there.

No way was she getting back to sleep.

#6 underground #6 underground fanfiction #6 underground four #6 underground fanfic #6 underground billy #four #four fanfic #four fanfiction #billy fanfiction #billy #billy x reader #billy x oc #four x reader #four x oc #four x zero #billy x scout

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lucisfavoritedemon · 4 years ago

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Rebellious Soul: Chapter 5

Pairing: None

Summary: Y/N is having a hard time coping with the fact that her friend is gone and now her best friend is back, but there is a new player in town. The ultimate leader of the Rebels, Commander Ruby. Will Y/N be able to defeat Eve or will she give up the fight to mourn the loss of Dean?

Warnings: Mentions of torture.

Word Count: 1324

A/N: I realised that what I had posted, and what I had written were two completely different things. So I went through an edited this chapter, along with Chapter 6. I have major plans for those two chapters, and I got away from my original thought process. Also, as you may have noticed, this is loosely based off hunger games, but it's with a twist. I hope y'all are enjoying this series so far. Thanks for the understanding and patience.

"I thought that the Colt was just a legend?" I asked looking between Gabriel and Charlie.

"Well supposedly, but there are more facts out there proving that it exists more than there is proving it doesn't. When thinking about stuff like this, I go with the facts."

"Alright then. I guess I should round up my gear and head out. The faster I can find my guy the better. I have a feeling it won't be long before Eve figures out what we're planning."

"Good idea. Why don't we head out together that way we could both hit our people and both know with having to relay the information to multiple people? That way Eve doesn't find out as quickly."

"I agree. Gather everyone interested and let's head out in ten. I have to speak with Sam before we leave."

"Sounds like a plan."

Gabe and I headed off in different directions. I hadn't seen Sam since we heard about Jessica. It was hard for him not knowing whether she's alive or not.

"Hey Sam. How's everything?"

"Better. At least getting there."

"I feel so bad for what happened to Jess. I'm sorry she got dragged into this."

"Don't be. She knew the risks just like everyone else. Trust me you didn't do anything. Ruby told me what you did for her, and that is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. I never expected you to give up this opportunity to get revenge on Eve for Dean."

"Did you not hear what happened? The theories at least?"

"No. I haven't really wanted to listen to what people have to say about the matter. He's gone and I can't have him back. It hurts because we were close. We grew up in this together. He was like a brother to me."

"I know Sam. I wish there was more I could do to help you cope other than the fact that we are going to get him back. I don't care what anybody says, Ruby promised a rescue and amnesty for all of them. Including Dean."

"What does everyone say happened to him exactly?"

"That Eve had taken him hostage. Tortured him in unimaginable ways. Using him as their poster child to rid the world of Rebels. She won't stop till we are all dead or worse under her spell. Killing us off is her main goal, and she has the biggest inside man we had. She has the means of destroying us if she truly wanted to."

"I know Dean is our biggest and best weapon we had against her. He was building a case file on how to kill her. Said that he was doing it for someone special. I could now only assume that's you."

"Why me though?"

"Because you would want revenge. He knew your father died. Apparently he also knew how, and it's not how you think it happened."

"I knew he was killed, but I never told anyone because no one would believe me. They all knew I hated Eve from the moment I first saw her. She is clearly nothing but evil, and I will stop at nothing to defeat her. We have everything we need except the weapon to kill the thing that can kill her."

"What is that?"

"A special gun that can kill almost anything with a single bullet. We need the gun to kill a Phoenix. It's ashes are the only thing strong enough to kill her."

"You're not talking about the Colt are you?"

"Afraid so. Do you happen to know someone who might know it's whereabouts?"

"Yeah, but I would save him as a last resort." Sam warned.

I knew perfectly well who he was talking about, but this was a chance to get the upper hand on Eve. I wasn't going to let him tell me otherwise. I couldn't risk Dean's life on a last resort situation. He was our last resort.

"I'm sorry Sam, but this is that type of situation. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get Dean back. For all of us, not just me. He meant something to everyone, which is why this betrayal is the worst we have ever seen."

"I know, it's just, he is bad news. I wouldn't go to him unless no one else truly knows the whereabouts of the Colt."

"Fine. But if no one else does, or even if they hesitate for a second we move to him, got it?"

"Yeah now go and save Dean. For all of us."

Gabe, Ed, Harry, Michael, Castiel, and I all headed out in search of our first lead given to us by Gabriel and Cas who have known this person, well rather Angel, for a long, long time.

"Balthazar. We are here for knowledge on a weapon we seek the location of!" Gabe yelled through the thick of the forest.

As I have stated before each creature lives in a designated section of the world. If ever caught out of their designated area, they were immediately killed off. This was a beautiful lush forest that looked like a Heavenly paradise Perfect for the majority of it's heavenly inhabitants.

"Ah, Gabriel and Castiel. What brings you two traders back home, and with humans too?"

"Enough Balthazar. We need to know the location of the Colt."

"Ooh, temper. I say, is this how you got daddy to give you your favorite toys? Well that tone doesn't work on me Mikey." Balthazar spat.

I had to agree with the Angel, Michael was being a little too straight forward.

"Balthazar? We seek the location of this weapon for a good reason. Please will you help us?" I asked kindly, gaining a gentle smile.

"I wish I knew, but sadly I don't. Maybe if you five hand over the girl I will suddenly remember."

"He's lying." Gabe simply stated.

"How do you know?"

"He only wants Y/n because it will earn him and the others a spot at the big kids table. He doesn't really know where the weapon is. I say we move on."

"I agree. Let's head out."

"Okay, you got me. I really don't know where the weapon is. I'm only in charge of the Angelic weapons. The rest go through Crowley. He will definitely know where this weapon you are seeking for is. I swear."

"I know. Sadly Crowley knows everything about this gun." I whispered walking away.

I knew exactly where to find Crowley. We had a few talks here and there, but I have never asked him for a favor as big as this one.

"Crowley! We need to talk! It's about the Colt."

"Hello darling. It's about time."

"I know it has been a while, but I need you to pull in that favor of mine. You know the freebie before you start charging?"

"Yes I know what freebie means. Why do you want this Colt so bad? It doesn't even do anything."

"It's important."

"You want to kill Eve don't you? Well sorry to break it to you, but sadly she is one of the four beings this won't work on. Been there, tried that."

"We know it doesn’t work on her, but it will work on the thing that can."

"Oh. Well in that case here."

Then the gun appears in his hands and he tosses it to me. I looked at the gun in awe. It was the most beautiful thing in the world. Now all we needed was to get to the Phoenix mountain without being caught by Eve and her stupid henchmen.

"One last thing. Well really two. Don't let her know I'm working alongside you and two DON’T miss your target! Kapeesh?"

"You got it. Don't let Eve know and don't miss."

"Good." As quickly as he appeared he was gone again.

Now all we needed was to find these Phoenixes and find Eve. Things were starting to go in our favor.

SPN Tag list:

@atc74 @bella-ca @canadianspnhunter @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ericaprice2008 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @katymacsupernatural @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @mamaredd123 @masksandtruths @mirandaaustin93 @muchamusedaboutnothing @our-jensen-ackles-love @roxyspearing @sea040561 @snffbeebee @spnwaywardwitch-blog @squirrelnotsam @torn-and-frayed @winchesterprincessbride

#dean x reader #xreader #au #dean winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #mary campbell #sam wesson #dystopian

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dreamcatcherfication · 5 years ago

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Caught in a Lie

I know this fic was meant to be angsty, but I didn’t mean for it to get this angsty.

Hello and welcome! Today’s fic is based off a request you can find here, or you can just read on and be surprised. I realized that I write most of my Cathy/Kat interactions as them fighting or being really emotional, so please ignore me reusing that dynamic. I didn’t really get to edit this, so please ignore any incoherency, I’ll try to go back soon and fix everything. I don’t have much else to say except watch out for the trigger warnings this time around and please enjoy the fic! Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, my nuerological processing unit is broken.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas. If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Original Prompts

Trigger Warnings: Blunt talk of sexual abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of assisting sexual abuse, just a lot of talk about sexual abuse

Ever since starting their show and appearing in public, the queens had become used to historians’ obsessions with them. Most wanted to know how they came back and if there would be others. A good amount were more interested in the truth of what happened during their first lives. But a few of them were intent on tearing the queens apart. Many historians were confused as to why the queens got along, and they didn’t like it. How could it make sense that the six widows of the same man would become their own family?

For almost a year now, Cathy Parr had been keeping a secret from her predecessor. It wasn’t meant to be anything notable, simply an action she was taking to ensure Kat’s safety. The same historians who picked and prodded for any piece of information they could get would come after the survivor for her knowledge. How did she get along so well with Kat when she allowed Elizabeth to be sexually abused? How did the queens think so highly of her when she was anything but perfect? Why did Kat act the way she did around the other queens?

They weren’t questions Cathy should be answering, but she also didn’t want the historians to move on and start asking Kat. So she answered the questions as vaguely as possible while also making sure Kat learned nothing about what was going on. The teen wouldn’t be able to handle it, Cathy knew, so she made her decision to keep things a secret.

That’s how things went for a long time, and there was nothing remarkable about it. Cathy lied to Kat to keep her safe, and Kat went about living her life. The world was in a perfect balance, and each queen was living her life the best she could.

But these things were not built to last, and it was Kat who would learn that the hard way. She hadn’t been expecting it, much less prepared for it, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. It started with a message on her social media that attracted her attention. Kat should’ve known to ignore it, but she couldn’t help her curiosity as to why someone was messaging her what looked like an entire essay.

Skimming the essay, Kat missed some of the padding from the person who wrote it - a historian, Kat deduced - and skipped right to the point of their message. We’ve been talking with Katheryn Parr, Kat noticed how they used the old spelling of her name, about your past with sexual abusers. Kat’s breath hitched, but she moved forward, ignoring the pit of dread settling in her stomach.

It seemed so implausible that you two could hold a strong relationship after her marriage with Thomas Seymour and assistance with his abuse of Queen Elizabeth. It’s even stranger her friendship with Anne Boleyn, but both of them have confirmed that the past has been resolved. Kat adjusted her grip on her phone and kept scrolling. Miss Parr has told us multiple times that you know about the questions we ask her, but you do not wish to speak with us. I don’t quite believe a woman like her, so I’m reaching out to you directly so that you, Miss Howard, are fully informed on the events going down. Katheryn Parr is claiming that you are uncomfortable speaking to us about your past, but I would like to fact check that with you Miss Howard. Please respond to me -

The message went on, but Kat had lost interest in what the historian had to say. Cathy had been talking to historians about her? Kat hadn’t heard anything from Cathy… “It’s probably just a misunderstanding,” Kat mumbled to herself, tucking her phone in her pocket. She’d go clear it up right then with Cathy, who was in the room next to hers.

Walking to Cathy’s door, Kat prepared her words. She wasn’t going to believe a historian over her friend, but she wouldn’t let herself be surprised by anything. Slowly pushing the door open, Kat peeked her head inside. Cathy was on her bed, sorting through a mess of papers. “Hello Kat,” she greeted amiably and returned to her sorting.

“Can I talk to you about something?” Kat started, making her way inside the room.

“Sure,” Cathy shrugged. She took a break in sorting her papers and looked up. “What’s the problem?”

Sitting down on the bed, Kat made eye contact with Cathy, watching her. “A historian messaged me on Instagram today.”

Cathy groaned, “That’s a tactic they haven’t tried before.”

“Yeah,” Kat muttered. “They were saying a lot of weird stuff. That you were speaking in my place during interviews and saying that I didn’t want to talk about my past. Weird, right?” Kat asked hopefully. She saw the hesitation in Cathy’s eyes and her heart dropped. “Right?”

Opening her mouth, Cathy sat silently for a couple seconds. “Kat - I.” She went silent again. “It was for your own good.” She reached her hand out, but Kat pulled back.

“What do you mean, ‘for my own good?’” Kat scrunched her nose.

Taking the hint, Cathy leaned away from Kat. “They were asking invasive questions. How could you stand being around me after… what happened in your childhood,” the writer explained.

“I was sexually abused,” Kat stated bluntly, “You can say it out loud.”

Cathy awkwardly laughed without humor. “I know, I just thought you would prefer -”

“I don’t,” Kat stood up. “Our show is about telling our stories, if I didn’t want to tell it, I wouldn’t be on stage every night. Please don’t make decisions for me Cathy.”

Looking down, Cathy sighed. “It’s for the best Kat. They weren’t nice people, they would’ve hurt you.”

“Then they would’ve hurt me,” Kat shot back defiantly. “It’s not up to you to decide whether or not I face these people. I’ve been hurt before, and I’m still here.”

Still, there was a cloudiness in Cathy’s eyes that told Kat she simply didn’t believe her. “I know you’re strong, I do Kat, but you have to understand I was only doing it to make things easier for you.”

Holding herself back from stomping her foot, Kat felt her nostrils flair. “Nothing is ever easy for me. But you know what Cathy? I learned to live with it. So don’t control my life just because you think it’s the right thing to do.”

“I’m only -” “No.” Kat turned away from Cathy. “You’ve been lying to me. I believed you over that historian, but it turns out they were right.”

Letting her eyes drop, Cathy murmured, “I wanted to help you.”

Spinning around, Kat glared at Cathy. “You help me by talking to me, not by lying to me.”

Kat waited, her eyes boring into Cathy’s skull until the other queen looked up and their eyes connected. There was hurt in Cathy’s eyes, but she was trying to hide it. Kat couldn’t find any pity in herself for her fellow queen. “I’m sorry Kat. I won’t do it again.”

“You won’t be coming anywhere near my life any time soon,” Kat spit, turning heel.

“What?” Cathy jumped out of her bed and followed Kat to the door.

Stepping into the hallway, Kat faced Cathy one last time. “You’ve been lying to me long enough. I’m not giving you the opportunity to do that again.” She was about to leave before pausing, eyes settling on Cathy’s face, growing more pale by the second. “And for the record, I would have told them it was because I trusted you.”

With that, Kat was gone, out of the hallway and disappearing to her own room. Frozen in her doorway, Cathy’s hands slowly fell to her side. She wanted to give Kat another apology, but it wouldn’t come out of her mouth. She should’ve seen it from the start. She was just trying to help her friend. And now she had ruined everything.

Pacing in her room, Kat had to dig her fingernails in her palms in order to restrain her urge to lash out. It wasn’t common for her to get angry, but this was an exception. Kat hated being coddled, treated like a little kid. She was more than that, and she could handle herself.

Stopping her pacing, Kat’s gaze drifted to her phone, still lying on her bedside table. Approaching it, Kat picked up the dark screen and turned it on. Going back to her social media, she reread the message. It only made the rage in her chest burn brighter, a reminder that some random historian was more honest with her than one of her closest friends.

In a moment of anger, Kat pulled up a note and started furiously typing.

For years I have had to live with what people have done to be. I was sexually abused as a child and people like to avoid talking about it. They use filler words, thinking it will make me feel better. It doesn’t. It only makes you feel better. I experienced it, I lived it, and a few pretty words aren’t going to protect me.

I learned recently that people have been trying to reach out to me in order to understand my feelings on what happened. Obviously I don’t like talking about my abuse, but it’s still a reality I lived through. Historians had been blocked from reaching me by Catherine Parr, who took it upon herself to protect me.

I have been lied to for longer than I know, and it’s because of Catherine Parr. She thought that she could make decisions for me and that I would be okay with it. Out of the goodness of her heart, she betrayed my trust and completely ignored the point of our show. I tell my story every night on stage. But when someone wants to approach me personally, she believes it’s her duty to make sure I won’t get hurt. Catherine? I’ve already been hurt. You can’t do anything to change that, so stop acting like you’re allowed to be the angel who saved me from everything bad. You’re not. You’re a liar.

Everyone knows about what happened with Thomas Seymour and Elizabeth. You watched on silently as he sexually abused her. And despite all the pain that came with confronting that, Anne and I forgave you. I would think you learned that this isn’t your story to tell. You did nothing then, and you think doing something now will make up for it. It won’t, and I don’t want it to. I wanted to move on from everything, but clearly you aren’t ready.

So fine. If that’s how it’ll be, then fine. Catherine Parr, I don’t want to see you or hear from you. If any interviewer wants to talk to me, they come to me and not Catherine Parr. She holds no say in my life, and I’d like to keep it that way. Because Catherine Parr is a liar. And I’m sick of people lying to me.

Setting her phone down, Kat let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t intend on publishing the rant, but she needed to get it out. Her words were harsh and came from somewhere deep within her, but she didn’t want anyone to see them. She was going to keep playing the role of the charming girl with the bad past, not the young woman who was done with being coddled.

Collapsing onto the bed, Kat closed her eyes. She was about to let the tension leave her body when a short smacking sound caught her attention. Sitting up, Kat looked around until she spotted her phone on the floor. Picking it up, Kat went to turn it off when she noticed a small mark on the corner of her note. Posted, it read in small italics.

Hands starting to shake, Kat dropped her phone on the bed. What had she done? What had she done? The post was online, and people were going to see it. No one was meant to see it, but now it would be online forever. Even if she figured out how to delete the post, people were probably taking screenshots the second it appeared.

Curling into a ball, Kat hid her face. This was a mistake, a big, big mistake that was going to cause so many problems. If Cathy had lost her trust, then all the queens would lose trust in Kat. In one moment, Kat had managed to tear them apart unknowingly.

On cue there was a shout from the queens’ living room. “Katherine Howard, explain this right now!”

Gulping, Kat glanced down at her phone. Kat closed her eyes, and for the first time in 500 years, she prayed.

---------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@radcowboyalmondtree @boleynhowards @annabanana2401 @babeebobo @dont-lose-your-queerhead @everything-insanity @mindless-pidgeon @i-wanna-dance-and-sing-six @thenicestnonbinary @its-totes-gods-will @thatbolxyngirl @thenameisnoone @sixqueendom @frogs-in-clogs @timetoriseabove

#six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fic #six fanfiction #six fanfic #sixfic #please check out the trigger warnings #they apply pretty heavily to the fic #requests #katherine howard #catherine parr #i ruined their friendship #sorry guys that one's on me #if you know what the title is a reference to #please tell me #because i will be so happy #that at least one person gets it #i never give any of you satisfying endings #that's also on me

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snarkwrites · 4 years ago

Note

FFT: One Day More

Ahhh, as soon as I realized what musical this might be from, I immediately went Angst in my mind. And honestly, I had something entirely different written up already, but then I found an old flashdrive in some stuff in my apartment and I plugged it in and... Cue the internal cringe for the most part. A lot of older shit I wrote was on it for whatever reason. And this thing I’m about to share now, well... It was one of them.. Probably the only really GOOD ones of them. This was back when I wasn’t sharing my fanfiction, I just spent hours writing this shit and saving it to read on my own time later... So.. I spent an hour or so reading over it, tweaking bits and pieces and editing to adapt to my writing style currently and ahhh... here we are. I’m about to put myself out there.

I hope you like this. I think this is one of very very few I actually found on that flashdrive that I liked and like.. yeah.

Warnings: Angst. So much Angstttt. Younger me apparently really knew how to mortally wound herself with words, oops. Oh... I should warn, this doesn’t really have an ending. I mean, it does, but it’s kind of open? I think I meant to go further with it, I just kinda... never fucking did. So. Unhappy cliffhangers ahead. Canon divergence in the form of an original character who has no name.

TAG SQUAD:

@kyleoreillysknee | @schizoauthoress

[ tag list ] [ masterlist] [ about]

“This isn’t how I want to live my life. Look.. I love you. I’ve always loved you, okay? And on some level I know you love me but I…” I trailed off, shuffling my feet against the hardwood floor of Jacob’s bedroom. I didn’t dare look at him because I knew if I did, I’d crack and I’d never be able to go through with this. I’d never really know he loved me on his own. That wasn’t what I wanted. I couldn’t live like that. I refused to live like that. I saw what the whole imprint bond did to my parents when suddenly, one day, my father was leaving my mother and I to run off with some stranger because the animal inside of him got final say.

“But what, Lilith?” Jacob was tensing up all over, I didn’t have to look at him to know. I could feel the tension in the air between us. I could feel him staring a hole through me, waiting.

He wasn’t happy. Damn it, I found myself thinking, why did I have to hurt him too? Hadn’t that Bella girl in Forks done enough damage? Why did I have to push. Why not just be content and let the chips fall where they fall?

“Damn it, Jake, don’t make me say it. We’ve talked about this before.. That day you took me in our clearing and showed me what you.. What you were.” my voice cracked and I stared down at the floor, willing it to open and swallow me whole.

“Oh.. So you think this is just an imprint thing. Thanks for clearing that up, Lilith. I hate to break it to you, you are not my imprint.” Jacob sounded so hurt and angry towards the end of what he said. Almost like he wanted to hurt me like I just hurt him and he thought that me not being his imprint was the surefire way to go about it.

I wanted to look up at him right then, to at least try to own up to what I was doing with some shred of common sense, make him see reason, but I didn’t dare. I couldn’t. Because again, I was just breaking his heart all over again.

“Jacob, don’t you dare get angry. Weren’t you the one who was completely against having the choice taken away not even two years ago? Now suddenly, you can’t wait to find whoever your inner animal wants to dick down and make babies with, regardless of whether you’re actually compatible?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“No, it’s not. And honestly, I can’t just keep sitting around and holding my breath, waiting on the day it happens. Watch you lose that light in your eyes that you look at me with. I can’t fucking live like that, Jake. My mom tried. She fought like hell for my dad but that fucking bond was… It was too much, okay?”

“So you’re just gonna what? Run off to El Camino? You’re not even willing to try and see what could happen?” Jacob was clenching his fists at his side, pacing his room. I sighed and muttered quietly, “That’s the only way this ends. If you were going to imprint on me, you would’ve done it already, we know this. I just… I hope whoever does wind up with you realizes what a good guy you are. And I hope you never change that, okay?”

Before I could cry or change my mind, I bolted out of Jacob’s house and across the grassy lot separating his from mine. I threw myself across my bed once I was inside and I finally just broke.

I cried until I was dry heaving. And then I got up. I showered and I got the rest of my things packed for the movers who were coming to pick it up.

And that night was the last night I saw Jacob Black…

#kyleoreillysknee #but yooo I am always down to have a laugh at my own expense so if you wanna see more of this fuckery I have found #maybe I'll post it on here after a lot of editing.#i feel like i wrote over half of this shit when I was drunk or without sleep which was... a lot back then

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randomwordsandstormydays · 5 years ago

Text

Love Yourself Challege

I was tagged by the lovely @its-sixxers

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year, (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want, (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1. I Never Meant For It To Come To This.

This fic is Deacon/Scribe Haylen and it’s arguably my favorite thing I’ve ever written, and yet it seems to be my least popular. I really liked delving into their relationship and exploring the Brotherhood in a less violent way.

Summary: The gun shoved into his ribs burns like hot coals and the wound on his arm from the feral ghoul stings enough for him to flinch, but nothing hurts more than the betrayal he can read in her blue eyes.

“I swear to you, Haylen. I never meant for it to come to this.” Deacon’s words are pleading. For a second he thinks that maybe his desperation has gotten through to her. Instead he watches the hurt switch to anger. Her hand is pressed so tightly against him that he feels the moment when her finger slides down to pull the trigger. He registers the sound of gunfire and then he’s plunged into darkness.

- Or - Deacon follows the vault dweller into the Brotherhood hoping to convince her to join the Railroad instead. His plan goes awry when Nora is removed from his squad and he's left to navigate Recon Squad Gladius by himself.

2. Dear Agony

This fic was a lot of fun to write and people seemed to really enjoy it as well. It’s Deacon/Maccready with some one sided pining invloving the male sole survivor. I tried to include a lot of other characters in this fic to make it seems less focused on the main pairing, and that made it a lot of fun.

Summary: Nate has been in constant danger since the moment he entered the new world that has settled over Boston. He has faced an endless stream of close calls: a super mutant behemoth in the Commons, a well-placed shot from a pissed off Gunner, an infected bite from a feral ghoul, and a three story fall when he lost his grip sneaking away from raiders. Nothing has ever been enough to put him down for good.

Then, Nate gets sick. Really sick.

In order to save their fearless leader Deacon and Maccready travel to Vault 81 in search of a cure. There they get closer than before, and Maccready has a choice to make: keep pining after his boss, who hasn’t shown an interest in him to date, or accept the offer that Deacon has so willingly laid at his feet.

3. OC work for Conner Sellmyer

I really liked writing these two chapters for Conner, it was one of the first things I wrote for any of my OCs and being able to control everything in the world, not just characters I don’t own, was super fun.

This explores Conner meeting his girlfriend, another OC named Olivia, and what happs when their secret relationship is discovered.

4. When It Rains, It Pours

I had a ton off angsty fun writing this fic. Exploring a broken Sole Survivor and the people that get left behind when big decisions are made was super interesting to explore.

Summary: The Railroad is gone, taken out by the Brotherhood, but by some miracle Deacon isn't there when the attack begins. Instead, he stumbles upon the massacre as the sole survivor in his own accord. He knows there's only one person who could have done this, the only person who's body isn't in HQ when he looks.

He boards the Prydwin looking for his partner, his friend, determined to at least find out why she betrayed them before she inevitably tries to kill him. Deacon's not expecting what happens when he finally gets the chance to talk to her.

5. I’m Only Human After All

I started this fic as a way to kind of make up for my first fic. As much as I grew from writing Ain’t That A Kick In The Head, looking back on it... it was not good. So the above fic was my way of doing a better Deacon/M!SS, with a more believable relationship and to mess around with cannon.

Summary: Nathan Richards spent his life before the bombs fell hiding his true self from the world. He married his best friend Nora, the only person to know his secret, and together they lived a happy life with their adopted son. Then, the world ended, and Nate lost the only two people in the world that he cared about.

Now, he has a new family, half settlers taking up arms to defend themselves and the Commonwealth, and the other a secret group of people dedicated to saving those that can’t save themselves. Along with that he’s got a partner, a friend, someone who would die for him. And he can’t help the feelings that develop the longer he’s with them.

But what happens when an undercover mission exposes feelings that Nate isn’t ready to share, and what happens when the man he loves goes missing, taken by synth hating folk who believe his partner to be one?

What will Nate do to make sure that he doesn’t lose another person that he loves?

///

This was a lot of fun, and it also made me realize I missed the anniversary of my very first fic on Ao3! I posted The End Of The World on 8 April 2019, and now I’ve got 21 fics on Ao3 and plenty on the way. How far I’ve come in only a year!

I’m going to tag @randomfuzzbunny @crenarei @kvltprince @valkyriejack and @cramsicle if you’ve already done it then I’m sorry!

#randomwordsandstormydays #random writes #fanfic #i’m only human after all #I never meant for it to come to this #dear agony #when it rains it pours #the end of the world

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floralguccistyles · 5 years ago

Photo

two: a ravenclaw and a slytherin walk into a bar

I was crying over a comic book.

This wasn’t a weird occurrence. I often cried when I was overwhelmed by how good something was. I cried the first time I read Lord of the Rings and the first time I had seen Lilo and Stitch. Jeremiah and Veronica had walked in on me crying too many times to count. My mother told me I had always been a big crier, but I was taught that it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Then I had gone to school with pricks and had to reign in tears for four years. The second I graduated secondary school, the wall I’d carefully built up had come crashing down and I continued to cry at everything. It was like those four years had made my crying worse. Like how when you’re told you can’t do something, it only makes doing that thing ten times better. Crying was cathartic.

I was also a little overwhelmed.

Stuart Immonen had come into the studio yesterday. He was the illustrator of the 2015 Captain America comic series All-New Captain America. That alone had me overwhelmed, because there I was, talking to someone who had illustrated a Marvel comic. But then he had given me a personal copy of the comic and after Jeremiah and I edited the podcast and we had gone home, I curled up in my flat and devoured it. The kind of devour that kept me up until six in the morning because I had to read it more than once. And as the sun came up, I felt the tears on my face.

I had been born in Holmes Chapel, but my parents hadn’t been. They had been born in Cuba and had moved to Holmes Chapel with a work visa. My father had been hired to help with renovations of Church View B&B and the two churches that surrounded it. My father wasn’t a famous contractor by any means, but his local newspaper in Santa Clara had written an article when he helped build a new Catholic church on the main strip of the city. We weren’t Catholic, but my father always believed in the power of religion. If someone wanted to believe in a God, he used to tell me, who were we to tell them otherwise? Our personal favorite gods were the ones in Roman and Greek mythology.

My mother had stayed in Santa Clara at first. But when weeks turned into months and the renovations still weren’t completed, she eventually followed my father to the UK. With one addition, of course, since she had been seven weeks pregnant with me. The team of contractors finished the job in about three months, and the original plan was to return to Santa Clara and give birth to me there, surrounded by the community they’d grown up in. But my father had looked so proud of the work he had done in the little Cheshire town and my mother didn’t have the heart to drag him away. Without planning, without a schedule, they had applied for citizenship.

It was a struggle. I was born that summer, and while caring for their new baby girl, they also had to perfect their English. They had a basic knowledge of the English language and could speak it pretty well, but they weren’t experts. They raised me in an English household, and we learned alongside each other. That was my biggest regret, if I looked back. I wish they had immersed me in both languages, that way I could get a glimpse into the culture I was born into. I knew enough Spanish to get my by, but not nearly as much as I wanted to.

In five years, they had gotten their citizenship and I had never even seen pictures of Cuba.

I knew they weren’t ashamed of their heritage. They were just excited for this new life, a life in a city that praised my father for the work he’d done. But my mother traded in vaca frita for Shepherd’s pie, and her guayabera dress was put in the back of her closet. Maybe I resented them a little bit for not teaching me about Cuba, but I could never tell them that. They would be heartbroken, especially after all the work they put into becoming citizens of the UK.

But it made reading the comic book even more emotional.

I knew superheroes of color existed. Black Panther, Luke Cage, and Ms. Marvel were among the few I could list. There was something about seeing Sam Wilson, a man of color, being Captain America that made my eyes misty as I read. Captain America, who was supposed to be a symbol of freedom and bravery, was a black man. It reminded me of my parents, traveling thousands of miles to live in a city they weren’t familiar with.

I wished it reminded me of myself.

There was a box of tissues I kept by my bedside for moments exactly like these. I grabbed one, wiping underneath my eyes and sniffling as I closed the comic book for the third time and put it on my nightstand next to my bed. I had fallen asleep after my second time with the comic book and had been able to get a couple of hours before I had woken up, grabbed a bowl of cereal, and opened it up to read it for a third time.

I knew what I was really doing. I was avoiding the email that sat in my inbox, untouched since the previous week, when it had been sent.

The email from Harry (or, what I assumed was Harry. I still wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not) had been on the back of my mind all week. His email had mentioned that he would be in town in two weeks time, and that had been last week. I had six days, seven hours, and about forty-two minutes before the whirlwind that was Harry Styles came back to London. Briefly, I wondered if he would make a stop in Holmes Chapel. I knew his mum and sister were close to him, and as far as I was aware, they both still lived in Holmes Chapel. And if he stopped by there, would he run into his old buddies that tormented me? Would he tell them about how he made Petra Gallego fall for his sweet email and make me the butt of his jokes?

I hadn’t emailed him back. What was I going to say? That I would love to catch up with him? That was an absolute lie. I would be perfectly content if I never had to see Harry Styles again. In the back of my mind, I knew he probably hadn’t meant the things he’d done when he was sixteen. Boys were supposed to be stupid at that age, right? That’s what my parents told me. But when I talked to Melody about it— the only one I had confided in about the popstar— she had told me in very colorful language that that logic was bullshit. Sixteen was perfectly old enough to know right from wrong, she reminded me. If there was one phrase Melody hated more than anything, it was the expression “boys will be boys.”

He hadn’t bothered to send another email. He probably knew that I was more than likely not going to reply to the first one. If he had any shred of kindness in his shriveled up little heart, he would respect that he had been a dick and that he didn’t deserve my forgiveness. He would recognize that asking me to meet for dinner or a drink in the casual way he had, as if nothing had happened between us, was absolutely terrible.

Maybe he wanted to apologize in person. I didn’t know. I didn’t care.

But damn it if I wasn’t curious.

However, I didn’t have time to be curious. I was due to meet Melody at La Violetta in an hour and I still wasn’t dressed. My hair was pretty much unsaveable, but if I threw it up in a ponytail it wouldn’t matter. There was a pretty tan, long-sleeved dress that I had in the back of my closet with the tags still on it, so I decided tonight was as good a time as any to wear it out. I paired it with some brown ankle boots that were just tall enough to hide the fact that I was wearing Star Wars socks.

My phone rang as I was struggling to apply mascara in my tiny bathroom. I absentmindedly slid my finger across the screen, not bothering to look at who was calling me.

“Hello?”

“Has Jeremiah called you yet?”

I raised a brow at Veronica’s voice. “Veronica? What are you calling me for? Isn’t it your anniversary with Bailey tonight?” Actually, I knew it was her anniversary, because she hadn’t been at the studio last night. She wanted to get a decent night of beauty rest because she had planned a surprise day trip for the two of them to celebrate five years. I thought it was so cute that I forgot to be upset she wouldn’t be there in the studio while we recorded.

“Oh shit he hasn’t called you yet. Fuck, I knew I should have texted him before I called you.”

“What?” I asked, horribly confused. I heard shuffling in the background and could only guess it was Bailey. “Hi Bailey! How’s the anniversary going?” I called.

I heard Bailey laugh. “Hi Petra. It’s going really well. Hope you didn’t miss Veronica too badly yesterday.”

“You know, Jeremiah and I barely even noticed she wasn’t there. It was a nice, kind of serene quiet. You’ll have to have anniversaries more often.”

Bailey laughed but Veronica scoffed. “Whatever. Jeremiah’s calling you soon. Ignore this call I guess.”

Before I could ask what the hell was going on, she hung up. I stared at my phone for a couple of seconds in confusion, as if it would give me the answers I sought. I almost expected it to light up, informing me that Jeremiah was calling. When two minutes passed with no sign of my ringtone, I sighed and got back to work on applying my mascara without getting it all over my face. I didn’t wear makeup often. Not because I didn’t like wearing makeup, or because I thought I was above wearing makeup. Most of the time, I was quite honestly too lazy to do it. I showed up to Outset in pajamas most weeks, and I never really went anywhere else, so it wasn’t a surprise my makeup sat mostly untouched.

Once my face was sufficiently covered under a good layer of makeup, I still had about fifteen minutes before I had to leave. I wondered if I could get a big chunk of the Sam Wilson comic read in the remaining fifteen minutes, but decided against it because I’d probably start crying again. Instead, I decided to check plane ticket prices to Cuba, like I always did. I knew I could probably afford them. AC did well enough and my book was in the final stages of editing before it would be published. I wasn’t worried about the money it would cost. I was worried that if I went, I would be betraying my parents.

Still, I longed to see Havana at night. I wanted to see the fire festival in Santiago de Cuba. And I wanted to walk the streets of Santa Clara at night and imagine that I was my mother, waiting for my father to return from Cheshire so we could get ready for the baby girl on the way. I wanted to stand in the same place my mother had stood when she found out she was pregnant with me.

I closed the safari webpage on my phone. I wouldn’t lose the information. It was bookmarked. But looking at it brought the same kind of sadness the Sam Wilson comic had, and I could feel the tears working their way from my dry throat to my eyes, and I truly didn’t want to ruin the mascara I’d put on. Not after I’d nearly poked my eye out with the wand and had spent five minutes getting the smudge of black gone from underneath my lower lash line.

Have you left yet? Knowing you, you’re still reading that comic.

Melody knew me too well. I sent back a quick text that I was on my way before tossing my phone into the small clutch I was bringing to La Violetta. My clutch had already been packed with my taser and pepper spray, so I had to shuffle a bit for my phone to fit, but one could never be too safe. Another lesson my parents had instilled in me. They preferred when I carried both but would settle for knowing I had either one in my vicinity. My father had once almost been jumped when he lived in Santa Clara after he had gotten into an argument at a bar. He said he didn’t care if the men thought it was sneaky that he used a taser instead of his fists. They were all on the ground in seconds.

Locking the door of my flat behind me, I turned to meet with the Uber I had ordered. I would usually walk to the restaurant, since it wasn’t too far away, but I was wearing ankle boots that had a heel and I knew walking in heels was asking for blisters and sore feet. My landlady was standing outside, getting ready to go into her own flat when she spotted me. She sent me a quick smile.

“Evening, Petra. How’s that little alien show you do?”

“Doing great, Ms. Wilcox. How’s your new grandbaby?”

“Oh, he’s adorable. But they’ve gone and named him Archibald. Who in the bloody hell names their kid Archibald?”

“I don’t know. But Archie’s a cute nickname, don’t you think?”

She hmphed in a tone that let me know the nickname Archie wasn’t enough justification for naming a child Archibald. I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t even register anyone named Archibald as ever having been a baby. They were born with names like Liam or Jake and then evolved into Archibalds when they started working, like a human Pokémon. I waved to her as my Uber pulled up, a ugly orange color that I would never be caught dead driving in, especially in the streets of London. Still, Carter (my driver) had a car and I didn’t, so I suppose he was better off than I was.

It only took about five minutes to get to the restaurant, and I tipped Carter for the short ride before getting out of his ugly orange car. Inside, I spotted Melody right away. She was sitting at one of the tables in the back, the one we usually sat in, and sipping on something that looked like lemonade but probably had alcohol in it. She waved me over when she caught my eye.

“Okay, we can have the margherita pizza or the barbeque chicken pizza. They have dinner specials on those tonight. They also have five dollar drinks, so I already ordered you a Long Island iced tea. If you don’t like those, fuck it, I’ll drink that too.”

I laughed. “Long Islands are fine with me. How was work?”

Sometimes, I couldn’t tell if Melody loved or hated her job. I didn’t know enough about what data analysts had to do. Obviously I knew they analyzed data and The Associates Global was a sales company, but other than that, I had no clue. I expected the world of how podcasts work was just as unknown to her. But the difference between us was that it was impossible to wonder if I hated my job. I wasn’t even sure if Melody knew whether or not she liked her job.

“Tiring. Trennan pitched their numbers today and they’re atrocious, Petra. It made me want to cry. Hence, the fact that I am on my second drink of the night.” She held up her lemonade-looking drink and took a long sip. “Anyway, I know that Stuart guy gave you the comic. How many times have you read it?”

“Three,” I replied honestly. Maybe Melody’s philosophy of oversharing had been passed onto me, or maybe it was because I was comfortable with her, but I never felt bad about myself when I told her about how I spent my days. She never judged, and I liked that about her. “It’s so beautifully illustrated and the story is so good.”

“Plus Anthony Mackie is extremely easy on the eyes,” Melody supplied helpfully.

I clinked the glass of my cup to the glass of hers, agreeing silently. We both took drinks. “I really hope he’s the route they go with at the end of Endgame. I hypothesized with Stuart that Steve’s going to die so they’re going to get a new Captain America. It’s either gonna be Bucky or Sam, but I’m really rooting for Sam.”

“I’m just excited for Captain Marvel,” Melody mentioned. “I bought our tickets for the opening night screening and watched the trailer twice today when I was pretending to listen to Trennan fuck up our numbers. It looks epic.”

It did look epic. I was excited for it. And had already guessed on Alien Crossing that she’d be a big help in defeating Thanos when Endgame came out in April. Before Melody and I could discuss anything more, the waiter came over and took our order. La Violetta sold baby pizzas meant for an individual, and since Melody’s margherita didn’t sound like it would hit the spot tonight, I ordered the barbeque chicken. He took our menus and left us alone once more.

“Did you hear anything more from that raging twat?”

Here’s the thing. When the name Harry Styles was brought up in public, someone would inevitably turn their head. Whether it was an early twenty-something who had grown up with him in One Direction or an older generation who liked rock music and adored his new album, someone always looked over. And it was pretty hard to have a cathartic shit-talking session when someone was hanging on every word you said about said popstar. To make up for this fact, Melody had given to calling him raging twat. It avoided the looks and also made me feel a little better.

“Nope. Just the one email. I’m just not going to respond.” I didn’t know when I had decided this, but the words sounded true enough coming out of my mouth. “He made my life a living hell. Things got so unbelievably easy when he left Holmes Chapel. Sure, his friends were still dicks, but without the raging twat near they left me alone for the most part. Why would I accept his apology anyway?”

“That’s even if he was emailing about apologizing. He might have just ignored the fact that he fucked up your secondary experience and just wanted to get drinks. Hence, he’s a raging twat.”

“I keep thinking about that. What if it’s all a joke and he’d just going to have a laugh at me? And the email didn’t mention anything about what an arse he was. Don’t you think that if you had tormented someone for four years of my life, you would want to apologize?”

Melody gave me a deadpan look. “I apologize to Nemo when I leave the light on.”

Nemo was Melody’s new fish. Dr. Thorne had suggested that she keep Nemo at her flat so that whenever her roommates were driving her mad and my flat wasn’t available, she’d have someone to talk to. The two of us had spent three hours trying to pick out the perfect fish for her and an additional hour and a half trying to decide on a name. Nemo didn’t look anything like his namesake, but it was too cute an opportunity to pass up.

“Point is, if I apologize to my fish for something as small as forgetting to turn his light off, the raging twat should apologize for all the nasty things he’s said to you. But, since you’re definitely not replying, you don’t have to worry about it. London’s a big city. I doubt he’ll come to Outset and stalk you.”

Feeling a lot better about the situation now that I’d had time to actually sit down and discuss the situation with Melody, I was able to relax. I enjoyed my Long Island and ordered another one when the first one ran out. I ate all of my pizza and wiped the barbeque sauce from my lips without a care in the world. And when Melody and I were done at La Violetta, we made our way to The William Morris Pub because neither of us wanted the night to be over.

Melody told me more about her coworkers. I hadn’t actually met any of them, but Trennan was her immediate boss and was an absolute idiot. Melody ended up doing most of his work for him. He was nice enough, Melody admitted after I’d questioned whether or not he was rude, just oblivious to how the real world worked. I told her about Veronica’s weird phone call, but that she and Bailey were enjoying their five-year anniversary. We bet on how long it would take Veronica to propose, since Veronica was definitely the one that would be proposing. Bailey was just too shy. We talked about Jeremiah and how Zach was still driving him around whenever Jeremiah asked. Melody felt a strange kinship with Zach, considering she’d once been the younger sister that had to be the designated driver for her siblings.

It was nice. Though I loved Alien Crossing with all my heart and was proud of what I’d accomplished, it was always nice to take a step back. Sometimes I had tunnel-vision and the view at the end of the tunnel was my podcast. I had to work on reminding myself that I had a life outside of AC. I had friends and family who loved and cared about me. When was the last time I had called my parents? I guiltily thought back to about three weeks ago. I’d have to apologize, but they’d forgive me easily, like they always did. They were glad that I was taking advantage of something I genuinely loved to do.

This was the reason I didn’t answer Jeremiah’s first call. But when he called again, which was unlike him, I excused myself for a moment to step out of the bar and answer his call.

“Jeremiah? What’s up?”

“Did Veronica call you?”

I sighed. “Yes, she did. And she left whatever she needed to say to you. Said to ignore the fact she even called.”

“Fucking coward, she is. Okay, so I’m not sure how to say this.”

“Is everything alright? Are you or Zach hurt?” My thoughts immediately went to Jeremiah’s younger brother. He drove all the time. Had he gotten behind the wheel drunk?

“Everything’s fine, Pet. Collin Sandeke’s mother just passed away. He’s flying out to America and staying there for the next week and a half to help with funeral arrangements. He can’t make next week.”

Collin Sandeke worked on his own sci-fi podcast in South Africa, where he had been living for the past three years. He was a nerd like me, and I had been really excited about him being on the show. We’d been in contact for the past two years, and it was the first time our schedules worked out. I felt my heart go out to him. “Shit, that’s rough.” I ran my hand through my ponytail, probably messing it up. “Shit!”

“I know. He called the studio earlier and Tim asked me to relay the message. We’re down a guest, Pet.”

I wouldn’t be upset. It wasn’t Collin’s fault his mother had passed away. And I would definitely send him an email later, and maybe get the address he was staying at in America so I could send some flowers. I wouldn’t be upset, I reminded myself, even when my throat closed suddenly and I felt like screaming. It took months to get guests lined up. Understandably, schedules were very busy. The short notice put a wrench in things.

“Thanks for telling me, Jer. I’ll figure something out and get back to you, yeah?”

“Sounds good. Sorry for ruining your night, Pet.”

“You didn’t. Get some sleep, it’s late.”

I hung up the phone feeling dejected and defeated. When I walked back into William Morris, Melody picked up on my dejected expression immediately. “What’s wrong, Petra?”

“Collin Sandeke, our guest for next week, is in America. His mother passed away. He can’t make it to AC next week.”

“Shit. Sorry, Petra.”

I shrugged, because again, I wouldn’t be upset. “I’ll figure something out. If all else fails, we just won’t have a guest. I can keep people occupied by myself for an hour if I have to.”

But I didn’t want to. I liked having guests. It made the entire podcast feel more personal, somehow. I wracked my brain as Melody and I parted for the night and I Uber’d back to my flat. There really wasn’t anyone else I could ask. Not at the last minute like this.

I kicked off my shoes when I got into my flat and sighed, leaning against my front door for a minute before I made my way to the living room. I opened up my laptop, ready to investigate and see if I could get someone, when the email from Harry popped up. Last time I had my laptop opened, I had looked at the email and read it twice, just to make sure it hadn’t been a dream and that Harry Styles was actually emailing me. I must have left it open.

I’ll be in your area in two weeks.

A lightbulb went off.

I bit my lip as the idea imbedded itself into my head. I hated Harry Styles. He was a dick. But didn’t I love my fellow nerds more than I hated him? Didn’t I owe it to them to have an awesome guest on the show? I mean, I didn’t think he was awesome at all, but other people obviously did.

I decided the question came down to whether or not it was worth it for me to bring up all those feelings of negativity and self-consciousness.

Letting out a sigh, I begun to type out an email.

There had been five main people in secondary school who made me want to curl behind a rock and hide.

One was obviously Harry, with his cruel words. The second was a kid named Oliver, who I’d been in school with since kindergarten. He hadn’t always been rude, but I imagine being popular had made him act differently. The third was a girl named Emma, who was the antithesis of me in every way possible. While my skin was tanned and stuck out in a class full of pale students, hers was the color of coffee creamer. She usually made jabs based on my appearance, and so her insults hurt the least. I always thought that if someone insulted another’s appearance, it was because they were insecure about their own. Emma was a very beautiful girl, so that was her problem to deal with. The fourth was Emma’s on-again, off-again boyfriend named George. He was a bit of an idiot, so I never took anything he said to heart.

Perhaps the one person I hated more than Harry Styles was the fifth and final member of my own personal gang of tormentors. Nathan Penrose was a physical and emotional bully. He’d been the one person to actually bother making fun of me after Harry had left for the X-Factor. Like Harry, he commented on how my head was up in the clouds and I would never amount to much. Unlike Harry, he also commented on my Cuban background.

Since school, I had grown into my own skin. The things I shied away from when I was teased, I now embraced. People listened to Alien Crossing and liked that I was so involved with the topics I discussed. The people I invited to be guests were like icing on the cake, made to give their expertise and opinions on whatever we were discussing.

I didn’t want Harry Styles to be a guest on my show.

The show was my safe space. It was what I had turned to my first month of uni when I still had no friends besides my weird roommate who I hadn’t heard from since our third year. Inviting Harry had been a mistake, that I knew. I was inviting him back in to tease and ridicule. But I read the comments when I posted on AC’s official Instagram account that Harry would be a surprise, last-minute guest this week and they had been overwhelmingly positive and excited.

And so, I needed Harry Styles to be a guest on my show.

I had agreed, stupidly, to meet him an hour before we were supposed to head over to Outset just so I could give him a rundown on what we would be discussing and he wasn’t thrown in blindly. Podcasts weren’t like interviews. Interviews were the barest of glimpses into Harry’s life. In my podcast, we’d delve deep into the topic and the details. So while I hadn’t wanted to meet him beforehand, if I wanted this episode of AC to be a success, I knew I had to coach Harry on how the entire process was going to go.

I hadn’t told Melody about this little arrangement. Mostly because I was a little embarrassed. We’d spent our night out at La Violetta discussing what a raging twat Harry was, and that I was going to be stubborn and not reply to his email. I didn’t want her to be disappointed in me for asking him to be a guest. Because I knew she would be. She would tell me that I couldn’t let people get away with treating me like that, and she was right. It made me a pretty self-deprecating person if I was willing to put myself back in Harry’s line of fire.

Since I didn’t want to give Harry any reasons to make me the butt of his jokes, I hadn’t worn my pajamas like I usually did, which already set me on edge. I’d be uncomfortable in my jeans while we recorded. I blamed Harry. I also wasn’t wearing my comfortable slippers, but instead the same ankle boots I’d worn for my night out with Melody. I blamed him (and any heel pain) for that too. My hair was actually done considering I’d slept in curlers the night before in nervous anticipation for Harry’s arrival. I’ll be there around six in the evening and meet you at that twenty-four hour diner at half past eleven, he’d emailed me when I asked what time he was arriving earlier this morning. I wondered where he was going in the five and a half hours he had free. Probably telling all our schoolmates that he had a wicked plan up his sleeve and was going to drop pig’s blood on me like Carrie.

He had offered to pick me up since we were going to the same place afterwards, but I immediately refused his offer. For once, I didn’t care about my carbon footprint. I didn’t care if I had to take seven bloody separate vehicles. I was not riding with Harry Styles. I wouldn’t put myself purposefully in close proximity to him without a goal in mind. The goal for the dinner was to coach. The goal for the podcast was so I’d have a fairly impressive guest to leave my listeners satisfied. Beyond that, he was useless to me.

My phone pinged. I knew it wasn’t Harry because I hadn’t given him my number and I didn’t have alerts set up for my emails. It was Jeremiah.

We can just tell the listeners that you’re sick. If you don’t want him there, he doesn’t have to be there.

I appreciated Jeremiah’s loyalty, but unfortunately, it was much too late to do anything about my decision. I typed out a quick response. Thanks for the solidarity. We’ll both be there at one.

My Uber for the night wasn’t an ugly car like when I had gone out with Melody. This was a nice Kia, pearl in color with an older gentleman behind the wheel. My phone said his name was Norman. He said I looked nice when I got in the car and asked if I was meeting a boyfriend for dinner. I told him I was meeting someone I hated and wanted to show them that their presence didn’t affect me in the slightest. Norman got rather quiet after that.

There weren’t any expensive looking cars when I got to Wine & Love so I assumed Harry wasn’t there yet. I had only been here once before and I remembered not being very fond of it. Naturally, I had suggested we go there when we met for dinner. I didn’t want him invading in the restaurants I did like. Though I did send a wistful look to William Morris Pub across the way (since everything in Merton was basically walking distance), I ignored my longing to walk inside the pub and instead made my way inside the dimly lit winery.

I didn’t bother going to sit at one of the tables. I had figured Harry wouldn’t be here on time, and I wasn’t going to look like a loser sitting at a table by myself. I sat in the main foyer of the winery, taking out my phone and playing some game Veronica had downloaded on my phone. Only about a minute passed before someone’s shadow blocked the light of my phone. I looked up, expecting to see Harry, but instead saw someone that worked there. “Hi, I’m just waiting for someone.”

“Yeah, Harry Styles. He’s already here,” the waiter said, pointing behind him and into the back of the restaurant. “He told me to keep a lookout for you because he didn’t think you’d see your table in the back. Petra, right?”

“Um… yeah.” I grabbed my purse from where I had set it down next to me and dazedly stood from my seat. The waiter led me to the back of the restaurant, back to a table I’m sure Harry requested because it was behind a giant potted fern that hid him pretty well. In fact, I didn’t completely see him until we turned the corner and there he was, smiling politely.

He was the same and yet so different all at once. Gone were the floppy curls I’m sure fangirls would have paid millions for and instead his hair was in disarray, in that “I woke up like this” style that rockstars seemed to always have. He had a little bit of stubble lining his face, but still had those dimples that the girls at school had written love poems about. They were deep as craters now, as he grinned up at me like we were the best of friends. He was wearing an atrocious floral print shirt that actually resembled a pair of pajama pants I owned and tight jeans that would take me hours to shimmy my hips out of.

“Thanks, Richard,” Harry mentioned to the waiter, and the deep baritone voice was strange. It didn’t sound the same as the voice that had told me to get my head out of my ass and grow up. I imagined hearing that same sentiment from this voice would strangely hurt even more. Richard moved to go take care of the other patrons of the winery and suddenly those green eyes were on me. “Hi, Petra,” he said softly, like I was a scared animal that would run off.

I said nothing, simply slammed my purse down on the booth seat and plopped my body down in a similar fashion. I immediately lifted the drink menu, figuring I wasn’t getting through this dinner without some alcohol in my system. I decided on a sophisticated red wine that I couldn’t properly pronounce the name of and only then did I lower the menu and meet Harry’s gaze.

He was smiling shyly and patiently. “You look great.”

“Surprised?” I questioned, raising a brow.

“Not really,” he mentioned offhandedly, shrugging his shoulders.

I hmphed with the fervor of Ms. Wilcox finding out her new grandson’s name was Archibald. “Right.”

We stared at each other for a few moments, his eyes so wide and green that it felt like I was looking into an oil painting. I wasn’t sure what he saw when he looked at me, but a pissed off expression probably wasn’t a far off guess. “So, what gives? Why’d you want to meet?”

“I could ask the same thing. Why’d you ask me to be on your podcast?”

“Because Collin Sandeke’s mother died and he couldn’t make it. You were a last resort. Don’t flatter yourself thinking there’d be any other reason.”

He flinched, as if my words were actually painful for him. “I deserved that.”

“You deserve much more. I’m holding back, believe me.” Richard interrupted us then, asked us for our drink order, and I ordered a bottle of red wine under the reasoning that Harry would be paying for this meal whether he liked it or not. I hoped the wine was expensive.

When Richard left again, Harry let out a sigh. “I asked to meet because you haven’t been in Holmes Chapel since 2012 and I had no idea where you lived. I knew you went to college in London, but I didn’t want to invade your privacy and find out where. It wasn’t until I heard Alien Crossing a couple of months ago that I figured out you were in Merton.”

It was so weird to hear the title of my podcast coming out of his mouth. “Why did you even bother looking for me?”

He looked baffled. “I needed to apologize. I was… I was an absolute asshole.”

“Yeah, I know. I was there. Problem is, I don’t really want or care about your apology. You were an asshole and I came home from school crying everyday. When you fucked off to X-Factor, it was the best day of my life. The only reason we’re even sitting here right now is because I needed a last minute substitution for the guest tonight.”

His eyes went wide and incredibly soft at the same time. “I didn’t know you went home crying.”

Scoffing, I crossed my arms over my chest. “It wouldn’t be a hard guess. I was the butt of all your jokes. Why wouldn’t I have cried?”

“You just seemed so...confident. Sure of yourself. Like the words I was saying didn’t even pierce you.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to have said them!” I hissed out, unable to keep the venom out of my voice. He had the decency to look like he was the gum underneath someone’s shoe. “I left Holmes Chapel the second I could because you and your group of friends made me hate the things I once loved. And as a result, made me hate myself. So forgive me if I don’t accept your apology, Harry.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. Gemma found out shortly after I left, how I was treating you. She gave me a bloody nose. My mum cried. She sent your parents an edible arrangement.”

I didn’t want to hear that his sister and mother were horrified at the way he’d treated me. His mum could send all the edible arrangements she wanted. His sister could bruise every inch of his skin. It still didn’t change the fact that I had left Holmes Chapel the most depressed I’d ever been. “I don’t want to hear about your mum and sister, Harry. You should have taken responsibility for your own actions. They shouldn’t have had to.”

“No, they shouldn’t have,” he whispered, shaking his head as if he couldn’t fathom that he’d once treated me the way he had.

Richard brought our wine and took our orders for food. I didn’t even look at the name of the entree I eventually decided on, just checked to make sure it was the most expensive thing on the menu.

We sat in silence for approximately ten minutes before I finally sighed. “As hard as it is to believe, I didn’t agree to this dinner so I could yell at you. I came to explain how the recording will work tonight and what to expect. Just because you were a last minute add-in doesn’t mean this episode can be lackluster. I’ve worked too hard on this to have my emotions ruin it.”

“What do I have to do?” He asked, eagerly leaning forward like I was about to impart some Galadriel level wisdom.

“This episode has to flow. We’ve changed the topic to something you’ll be more comfortable with. We’ll be discussing the importance of music scores in big movies. Have you seen The Lord of the Rings?” At his sheepish look, I sighed. “Right. Have you at least seen Harry Potter?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So Jeremiah, our sound guy, will probably play some of the big music from the series. I’ll give a brief overview of the scene it’s used in just in case you don’t remember, and you’ve just got to talk about why that particular music made the scene even more profound. I figure you can bullshit something considering you create music for a living.”

“Sounds easy enough,” he mentioned, nodding his head seriously.

“It’s not easy,” I argued, narrowing my eyes. “People tune in to listen to this because it’s a safe space for them. I created an environment in which people like me can openly talk about the things they love. I want to make every episode special for them.”

How dare he call the work I was doing easy? Sure, it wasn’t as complicated as most jobs, but it still meant something. I was a beacon of hope for people like me. A sign that a nerdy girl could make a living talking passionately about something she loved. It wasn’t as nuanced as being an actress or a musician, but it was still important. I saw his mouth twitch, like he was going to respond, but Richard appeared like a guardian angel with our food. I angrily stabbed my knife into the steak placed in front of me, imagining it was Harry’s thigh.

“I really am sorry, Petra,” he whispered when I poured myself a glass of wine, with extreme vigor.

I didn’t want to hear his apology now. I wanted to hear them when I was sixteen, crying in my room and tearing down all of my Star Wars posters from the wall. I wanted to hear it when I had my first appointment with Dr. Thorne, when I had insisted that I was over my schoolmates’ judgement and she had stared at me like she didn’t believe a word I was saying. I wanted it my first day at Outset, when I felt like an outsider and would have given anything for a friendly face.

The words meant nothing to me now.

“I’m sorry your apology isn’t enough.”

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ofvindictc · 5 years ago

Text

tagging: @ofisolaticn & @ofprinciples location: levi’s apartment. description: the game comes to an end. there’s defeat, there’s victory, and a few twists you might not have seen coming.

levi stone / daniel warren

when disaster strikes, there are always warning signs. alarm bells before a hurricane, or little shocks before a devastating earthquake. little signals, little hints, that your world is about to turn upside down. he'd always thought he'd see the end coming when it inevitably came, would see the threads of his plan start to unravel before they went nuclear. none of that happens though. he doesn't see the bracelet on henrik's wrist ( after months together, he's never worn one before; so of course, he stopped looking ) and doesn't notice the confusion on his face when the compulsion doesn't connect. he's distracted, thoughts on amelia, or the horseman's insatiable hunger that throbs like a migraine you can't kick, so he misses it. ( do you want to talk about your day? henrik asks, twice, though levi's told him to leave it alone. no, he bites back, eyes flashing golden with irritation before he realizes the error of his ways. forget you saw that. it was a trick of the light. i'm just a vampire. ) if he was thinking as logically as he once had, before amelia, maybe he would have seen henrik pulling away; would have suspected that something was up. he never does though, too caught up in the never-ending fight to keep famine nourished, covering up his murders, and ensuring his wife, his family, will make it through the horrors that they've suffered. the divide between levi and daniel is so wide, so blatant, that sometimes when he looks in the mirror he isn't sure who's staring back. ( it's a problem. he knows this. ) it's because his guard is down, defences lowered, that he doesn't see the attack coming before it's too late.(edited)

henrik mikaelson

it was a blissful ignorance, henrik realized later. with little signs, little breaks in the perfect image, ones that he saw and made the choice to ignore. it was easier to ignore. a amazing boyfriend, someone who loved him fully for who he was, someone who he put his heart in the hands of. someone who made him feel loved. someone so perfect they couldn't possibly be anything other than a manipulated figment of a dream. he'd just been a fool. thinking everything is going to be okay. pure fool. the bracelet was something he appreciated. he liked arlo. it was nice making friends, even if he was a bit on the younger side. henrik didn't feel the need to console him like he did his students, arlo was an old soul. someone who understood him in a way henrik was a bit shocked at, if he were being honest. he underestimated the younger man, completely. and then, when offered a small charm of a bracelet, he appreciated it. he said yes because it was NICE and there was no reason for a no. he asked levi about his day, twice. because he wanted to know, because he felt a distance, because he loved and he cared and maybe that'd been wrong. because levi's eyes flashed GOLDEN in anger ( he angered him that much?? ) and he looked him in the eyes like a vampire did and he tried to compel. and henrik was too starstruck to say a damn thing. he'd spoken to arlo and asked, nee, begged. for the compulsion to be erased, to be undone. and then--- it was. it was an agony, and it was heartbreak and henrik hated it for making him feel like a fool. and then, he also didn't. because as foolish as he felt, that kind of love was something he cherished. he'd never felt it before and despite the fury... there was gratefulness. it was arlo's idea to orb them and henrik couldn't help but agree. orb them in and watch the spell unfold. "hey," he greeted, awkwardly.

finn mikaelson

always and forever is a pesky mantra. it means standing by the sides of your siblings when they needed you, even if it risked exposure. he'd planned on just keeping an eye on his more vulnerable siblings, make sure they were safe, but it had turned out that his youngest brother was anything but. the compelled memories tell a story that mystified even him but he's not in a position to give henrik grief, only solutions. it's why they've orbed into the man's living room, magical binds summoned with a spell to knock the man ( no, the hybrid ) to his knees.

" someone's been naughty. " his words are dry, a vial of truth serum, home brewed, gripped in his free hand. the man struggles against the restraints as he approaches, the vial poured down his throat once he's close enough to keep him still. the restraints might not hold him forever, but the aneurysm inducing spell that can split a vampire's head wide open with a powerful migraine will be equally as effective.

the hybrid's chest is heaving, fangs distended as his eyes glow golden. he's exposed himself for what he really is now; there'll be no denying it now. " who the hell are you ?" this is directed at finn, smirking in the body of arlo park. " henrik, what the hell is this? don't let him do this. " the original considers intervening, telling him to shut up, but this isn't his place; this is henrik's fight, he's just here to ensure it's a fair one.

henrik mikaelson

the memories were both like a romantic comedy and a horror movie played out through his eyes. they picked apples, they had romantic evenings, and henrik fell in love. and as much as it was fake, it also wasn't. not all of it. being aware of the facade didn't take back those whole feelings of love he felt. it didn't erase every wanting moment. every kiss, hug, comfort. what it did was on a level, worse. leaving a dark poisoned shroud over them. it was funny thing, when the thing you love most was a detriment. he remembered all those compulsions, every single one. from the ones to tell him to shut up, to go away, to not care when levi took bites out of him. god, he'd been a human blood bag for so so long and he thought it was OKAY. so yes, as much as there was love remaining there was also fire building. or maybe gasoline. the fire had yet to ignite. he'd spoken to arlo more then he planned to. confessed all the emotions that hurt so fucking much. he'd bee surprised at the man's sympathy as henrik went on and on and on. he considered a lot of things. telling a friend, boarding himself up at magic school, even telling his family, begging klaus to rip him to shreds. that idea had been appealing until he realized how much it would hurt. because his seething betrayal didn't shatter his LOVE. henrik sort of fucking hated that bit, admittedly. it'd be easier if he could straight up hate levi. he remembered the utter terror of running from the man, of him killing his own neighbor and compelling henrik that dreaded night. that... wasn't easy ( he kept flinching at loud noises now and he'd defeated THAT response at 19. he would need to defeat again, he would. )

. but, as much as he knew he didn't want to see levi die. some things did change. he used to be one of them, one of the most important people, one of the people henrik would do most anything for. from ignoring the wrongness of something, to helping commit atrocities if it meant keeping them safe and happy. that didn't apply anymore. he couldn't erase his feelings but he could erase that. he couldn't choose to not love, but he could choose not to care. he'd never heard arlo speak with such dryness. not that henrik could blame him all too much. golden eyes glow and henrik is... unsurprised. he knows what he knows, and he feels TIRED. he wants this over with, but he knows it's not that simple. the truth serum, arlo guaranteed it would work. which was why it was easy to ask such blunt questions. "do you love me?" he asked the words gently--- weakly, both dreading and expecting the answer all too well. "and..." better to rip off the band aid, right? "whats your name?"

levi stone / daniel warren

tw: suicidal ideation

he doesn't bother pulling at the restraints once his knees hit the floor. he squirms away from the witch that's prying his mouth open, tries to growl but simply ends up choking on whatever they pour down his throat. the restraints burn his wrists, likely some kind of vervain derivative cooked up to keep him down. he thinks maybe he could break them but not without great sacrifice. ( famine's already weak. he hasn't fed today, he won't be able to help; he has no get out of jail free card. ) there's a quiet desperation in his voice as he pleads for henrik to stop this, for him to free him, but when he starts asking questions — that mask slips. he knows now; henrik knows the truth. there's no sense arguing, or begging for mercy -- for compassion. he's been found out, there's no absolution here. " no. " the words come out through clenched teeth, one last attempt at keeping this charade from imploding. he fails, like maybe he always knew he would, and hammers the final nail into his coffin. " i never did. i've only loved one person and she's not you. " it's not said maliciously, just honestly. maybe the most honest he's ever been with him. the second question is more complicated. it draws a laugh, wrists tugging against the restraints and inhaling sharply when they burn. ( he tugs again — maybe he deserves this ) " that depends. it's getting a little crowded in here these days. " he feels compelled to tell the truth but he's been running from it for so long ... it feels like he's poking something fractured; something damaged. " my name was daniel. then, it was levi. oh, and famine. it's a regular party in here. "(edited)

henrik mikaelson

despite it all, despite every single thing levi had done. from gaslighting him, to sinking his teeth into his skin, it still pained henrik to see him in this state. to see him held down with chains, his jaw pried open, he had too look away as arlo poured the truth serum down his throat. he felt guilt, guilt he knew was unwarranted considering the situation but still, horribly, there. he never heard his boyfrie--- no he couldn't call him that. calling him that would only make him feel even more of a fool then he already did. henrik had too much self respect for that. a slip, he could manage. but he wouldn't willingly say the words or think them. there it goes. expression changing so easily, it broke henrik's heart to watch the man he loved dying right before his eyes. a metaphorical death, but death nonetheless. lips pressed together because it was easier then letting out the shaky raw breath gathering in his throat from the confirmation of such a thing. he was so sure, that levi was the first person who loved him. no obligation, no strings tying them together beyond their hearts. and now? it was all a lie. and yeah, it hurt like hell. henrik knew the man would be able to see it all over his face, levi obviously knew him well by now. even if the man himself was a stranger to henrik. he hadn't been the one with the mask on the whole time, after all. he nodded his head, expression betraying him. it was irrational heartbreak, he knew. rationality and emotions ran parallels, lines that never met. "you didn't even care, not for a moment." it was silly threads he was holding onto, but he wanted to hear it from levi. maybe then, it would be easier.

. the laugh sent shivers down his spine. so unlike the man he thought he had known. his face brittles with confusion because DANIEL he remembered from his memories. but famine? "like the horseman?" yeah, he knew some mythology. not all of it, but enough. it was practically courses in magic school, henrik did pick up some things.March 24, 2020

levi stone / daniel warren

maybe he's not a complete monster. maybe somewhere, buried deep under layers of anger, or resentment, of hate, he can find an inch of compassion for this person he's hurt; he's wrecked. maybe he's capable, but even in the end, in the revelations of his own failures, he doesn't regret his choices. his plan was good, it was flawless even — and maybe if he'd been less human, more monster, it would have worked. ( he's not sure if he's angry or relieved about that. maybe some mix of the two. it's complicated. ) " i didn't. " he agrees, mostly because he has to. whatever they've given him, it won't let him say anything but the truth. ( ironic, given, he's not sure even he knew some of these truths. ) " you weren't a person to me. you were a chess piece. the mikaelsons are a fortress and i needed an in. " henrik, human henrik, was an easy mark and he'd exploited that. " — but don't take it personally, i didn't care about anyone. i just wanted revenge. " he still does, he still feels that undercurrent of anger that runs through him, but it's diluted; he feels other things, too. has, ever since amelia came back. " my switch was flipped. mostly, anyway. " it's — not something he considered, not really. he felt anger, felt vindictive, but never considered a world where you could blot out half and focus on the others. it was ... a surprise, even to him.

* " yeah, him. " his smile dies on his lips, feels the horseman restless in his head. like a siren's song, mere mention of him has him stirring. " i was out on patrol when a mysterious fog rolled in. it was him, and he needed help. " his visage cracks, exhaustion bleeding through. " he said we needed each other. " maybe they had, maybe he wouldn't have gotten this far without him, but right now he just feels tired. tired, angry, and caged. ( he pulls hard on the restraints again, just to feel something else )

henrik mikaelson

he felt used. and it hurt. he was so sure everything was going so well. he had his family, he had his friends, he had his boyfriend. it'd been so perfect, so flawless. henrik should have known better. a life of hardship didn't seamlessly disappear like that in favor of being happy. and now here he was. broken hearted for so many things, so many losses. the loss of love, the loss of trust, the loss of faith in his very self. the loss of the person that made him so so happy... it hurt. a nod of his head, glassy eyes and fragile expression. "i... i figured that." still needed to hear, still painful to hear, to know. but then levi--- daniel, he went on. and oh. henrik didn't know it could get worse but then there it was. getting worse. daniel hadn't felt a thing for him, because you can't feel things for pawns. and that's all henrik had been to him. all those late night movies, apple picking, candle lit dinners, the way he made him feel--- none of it was real. and fuck. there was a desire to ask arlo to change the plan. hold him down while henrik got out a piece of wood. he could stab levi right in the heart, the same place levi stabbed him. watch the man fall apart before henrik's eyes, like henrik was falling apart in front of his. but no. because it'd be a second later in which he'd realize what he'd done. and that love he felt for levi stone would become even more of a burden then it already was. and trust him, it was plenty of a burden. "that's sad." he didn't say it with judgement, with empathy or sympathy. there was sorrow in his tone, not for levi. but for himself. for his hopes, his dreams, his future which was now something he never expected or would have dreamed of. finally, his eyes met levi's and henrik spoke. words he hadn't expected to admit, let alone feel. "i almost feel sorry for you. you spent so much time on revenge, so much time using me and... and it was a waste." it wasn't even gloating. just a melancholy statement.

. there was no interest in his life story or even why levi wanted revenge. henrik couldn't bring himself to care. what's done was done and what scarred him would never be erased. well, it could be. but he wouldn't want it to. as much as it hurt, it'd remain as a reminder. a reminder to be smarter, a reminder to be stronger, a reminder of how much he loved his family, a reminder of how stupid he had been. and to never be so stupid again. at least, not anytime soon. he bit his lip, because the horseman did change things. the plan had been simple enough but this was a new factor. he had planned not to tell his siblings of what happened, not have them condemn him or pity him. it would have been easier that way. but what if his plan wasn't enough? this was a horseman. and if not telling his family could put them in danger--- he couldn't do that. fuck. "and he wants to help you with your vengeance." the confirmation was needed, if only purely for henrik himself.

finn mikaelson

there's an amount of pride that finn feels as henrik stares down the hybrid. he didn't know him very long, or very well, in the short period of time he'd been back but his restraint is remarkable. by mikaelson standards. his other siblings, save maybe freya, would have painted the walls with this creature's blood if they'd have deigned to be played as such. ( this speaks to his humanity. something the whole family is sorely lacking. )

he only intervenes when the hybrid snaps forward, the restraints pulling and crackling. they're powerful; he figures, if push ever came to shove, they could even hold one of his siblings. all the same, he tightens his hand into a fist. hybrids might have accelerated healing but those pesky little blood vessels popping in his head ? it'll hurt like a bitch. " don't interrupt. " he says simply, eyes on levi. " let him speak. " after all, doesn't henrik deserve his moment in the sun ? he sure thinks so.

levi stone / daniel warren

* the pain rocks through levi's skull, forcing his eyes shut as he growls. his eyes are blown wide, pupils bright yellow as he snaps at nothing. he's unable to break free, to do anything but fight, and what was once apathy is now pure rage. ( he thinks this is famine's doing; he has the reigns now, is pushing daniel down. so far down, all he can feel, all he knows, is the horseman's anger. ) " tha fios agam dè a th 'annad. no an àite, cò. " the horseman spits the words at the witch, using gaelic to mask his words. " tha thu a ’coimhead nas fheàrr na nuair a chunnaic mi mu dheireadh thu. " he knows the witch understands, sees the recognition and the fury pass over his features. i know you, i know what you are. you look better than when i last saw you. ( he wonders, idly, if the youngest mikaelson knows about the imposter masquerading as this witch. he bets no, but decides to keep that to himself; a bargaining chip. ) " you'll have to forgive your boyfriend. " famine's eyes flutter back to their natural hues, look up at henrik with interest. " he can't come out and play right now. i'll let him know you feel pity for him though. * GREAT* stuff. " lips twitch, a hint of a smirk at play. he doesn't bother tugging at the restraints; he knows he's too weak to break through them. he's a pragmatist. " when his interests and mine aligned, yes, i helped him. " which is true, for the record. " — but he's proven his WEAKNESS. he deviated from his plan, got sloppy and that's not really how i play the game. " the horseman shrugs, cavalier twist in his tone. " just consider me a silent partner. or a gatekeeper, if need be. "

henrik mikaelson

the hybrid snapped forward and henrik didn't even flinch. he didn't know where such bravery came from, or if it was bravery at all even. perhaps, it was foolishness. regardless of what it was, he didn't back down. eyes connected to daniel's, and staring him down with strength henrik needed to dig into. ( he didn't typically have it, only stored on behalf of other's. this was the first time, in a long time, he was using that streangth on behalf of himself ). "thank you arlo." he spoke, tone even but kind nonetheless. watching levi, daniel was something of an experience. in his memories held few times with those golden hues faced at him. but to see him and be aware, not be running or on the verge of being compelled, it was something else entirely. there was chanting, and henrik was lost. he didn't enjoy the feeling, not after all that had happened. he lacked so much control for so long without having known it. he wasn't keen on staying locked out of the loop for so long. "he's not my boyfriend anymore." and he said the words so fast without hesitation because if not for famine's sake, but his own, he needed to remember that. " a gatekeeper." henrik echoed, not quite convinced. he read about the horseman with a student once. they were having troubles with their studies and henrik volunteered to give a helping hand. he read about the horseman bringing forth the end of days, each bearing a ring upon their finger. a source of their power. famine, not the most powerful but powerful nonetheless. no, henrik couldn't take the risk of a changed mind and such power in the hand's of a man who hated his family. brazen, he crossed forward and wasted no time in sliding the ring off daniel's hand. eyes set on him, seeing how such a loss would effect him and hoping it'd be the right response.March 30, 2020

levi stone / daniel warren

it's as the ring's twisted from his finger that levi feels one last surge of overwhelming anger from his passenger as its ripped from him. it feels like someone's sliced open his sternum, reckless fingers ripping famine from his psyche as he screams. ( he has a high pain threshold. he thought he'd known pain, thought he'd known suffering, but this is somehow WORSE. ) he loses consciousness at some point, likely his body's way of protecting the fragility of his mind from the abrupt splintering. the last thing he feels is anguish mixed with revulsion as the black seeps in and sucks him under.

finn mikaelson

with more warning, perhaps finn would have cautioned his brother from angering a horseman. it's inevitable that the ring find its way back, the essence of famine returning to whatever withered husk it had left behind when it chose this body. he doesn't though, simply makes one of those 'yikes' faces teenagers constantly make before turning back to henrik. " with the ring off, he won't be able to access famine's powers. " he smiles, because to henrik this is a victory -- even if it's likely only temporary. " i can take it if you want, for safekeeping. " this face looks innocent, looks trustworthy. " we've got this thing that traps powerful cursed objects. i can put it in there and lock it away. it'll be safe. " behind him, he hears the hybrid start to stir. he debates whammying him again but knows this is a fight henrik needs to finish, no matter what he chooses.

henrik mikaelson

the sight of levi, daniel, before him--- bellowing in such pain and agony. henrik couldn't help but FLINCH at the sight. even now, after all he'd done. it made him feel something to see him in such pain. he felt guilty for that. he should be able to ravish his enemy's wildering pain ( enemy, the world felt wrong in his mind. unfamiliar and uncomfortable ). and yet, watching him in pain, henrik needed to look away. there was no regret. even if it made him feel some type of way to see daniel in pain, henrik didn't regret a single thing. a firm nod of his head, relieved at the loss of power's. the last thing he needed was daniel enraged and coming after his family. ( yeah, a very loud FUCK THAT in the back of his mind. ) "actually that'd b great." he wouldn't have known what to do with it anyhow, probably would have given it to niklaus or magic school. both of which options would demand explanation, which he wasn't keen to give. he didn't want klaus to know how he'd been duped, nor magic school to think he was a liability. maybe it was selfish, probably was. but he wouldn't risk it. so yes, letting arlo have the ring was his best option. "thank you." daniel begin to stir, and henrik had some words left. harsh words, that would not be easy to say. but he would do them anyway, he needed to. "after we finish how long could you keep him down?" he couldn't stay in that apartment. and he wouldn't risk getting everything in case of running into daniel or daniel finding wherever he lived next. wherever that would be. ( he'd figure it out ).

finn mikaelson

he takes the ring when its offered, securely tucking it into his pocket. he might not be as consumed with a thirst for power, for status as some of his siblings, but he knows not to underestimate an opportunity when it falls into his lap. ( better in his hands than someone else's. ) he watches as the hybrid stirs, glancing over at henrik when he asks the question. " that depends. i can keep him down for a few hours, put him in a suspended state, or we can put him down for good. " it certainly wouldn't be any skin off his back to eliminate the hybrid from the world. it's beyond an abomination; a bastardized creation from niklaus' bloodline that should never have existed. " whichever you'd prefer.

henrik mikaelson

"we aren't putting him down for good." it was said in a more demanding tone than henrik was used to using, but he couldn't help it. the idea of it, despite everything, made him sad. for all the bad memories daniel (as levi) had given. he also had given kind ones, warm ones. it didn't make his actions lessen or null. but it did change some things. "a few hours would work, thank you." his tone switched to something far kinder, and more appreciative. arlo was doing a lot for him, after all. a deep breath as he watched levi--- no, daniel, begin to open his eyes. "i have some things to say to you," he preempted. "and you... you're gonna listen." a deep breath. "anyone else in my family would slaughter you. they would make you hurt in ways you wouldn't dream and make you regret every single thing you've ever done." he stood straighter, with more conviction. "but i'm not my family. if you'd done this to one of them... maybe. but you did this to me, your life... it's mine." he took a step forward and knelt closer. eye level with daniel. "i'm letting you keep it. no more death, no more manipulation, no more anything. i'm letting you live." he emphasized. "this time, that is." more somber, he said. "there will be no next time. what saved you, was the happiness you brought me. lies or not, compulsion or not, i still remember it." and a spiteful part of him hoped daniel would hate that. you live by the grace of my will. "but... if you so much as go near my family, go near me... i'll tell them everything. and i know my brother's reputation, i know you do too. and my older sisters, my other brothers, all of them. my family, if they know what you attempted. they'd end you. there would be no place for you to hide. and this time, i won't stand in the way." it felt like a threat. henrik didn't know if he wanted it to be one, how he wanted daniel to feel. but he felt strong. and that was all that mattered in the end, in this moment.

#( interactions )#( henrik )#( finn )

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spideyspoods · 6 years ago

Text

Promises

Pairing: Steve Rogers X F!Reader

A/N: I posted this and edited to add some tags and it deleted the ENTIRE (tout) the text. screw you, tumblr. Anyways I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Warnings: Endgame spoilers & angst!

Word Count: 2,129

Masterlist!

Part One!

Part Two!

The minute each of them pressed the glowing blue button, they floated through the quantum realm. Admittedly, Y/N thought it was quite beautiful; blurs of blue and red circles whizzed past as they traveled at lightspeed. Beyond the beauty, she couldn’t quite shake the fear off her shoulders. Missions were never easy or safe, she knew that. But the realm itself was open. It spanned for who knew how long until you drift off into nothing.

It seemed that in an instant, they’ve reached Morag. Isolated and gloomy, a red beam of light was blocked by the dark clouds looming overhead. Rhodey looked over to Nebula, uneasy. “You’ve got this. Now go and kick some alien ass.” Y/N winked. Over his shoulder, Rhodey muttered, “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Both of them stepped foot on the rocky terrain and the remaining three still on the Benatar swapped positions. “Sorry, Y/N; Elders in the front.” Clint said as he dashed to take the passenger seat. Defeated, Y/N buckled up behind Natasha as she swiftly input the coordinates for Vormir. The ship trembled with turbulence once they sped through the universe at the speed of light.

“Looks like we’re a long way from Budapest.” which earned a chuckle from Nat. For the amount of times they’ve referenced it, no one truly knew what it meant. “What the hell happened in Budapest?”

The trio touched down on Vormir and it wasn’t any more welcoming than Morag. “With all of the alien invasions, you would think each planet would be crawling with them.” Y/N said. She stepped out of the spaceship and her sole of her boots slid amongst the mounds of sand. Natasha scoped, looking for the soul stone and ultimately pointed to the top of the only mountain on the planet. “Doesn’t look so bad.”

“Famous last words.”

It seemed like an endless trek to a summit that didn’t even exist. As they continued climbing upwards, it started to snow and the temperature dropped. At the top, each of them stopped to catch their breath. “Bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain.”

“Technically he’s not a raccoon.” quipped Clint. Y/N rolled her eyes, “You know her point, Barton. Let’s get this over with-”

“Who comes here?” A strained, hollow voice whispered. Like second nature, all of them pointed a weapon and turned. A ghostly figure floated in the air, a black cloak covering its features.

“Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Clint, son of Edith. Y/N, daughter of-”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, shall we? Who are you?” Y/N stated rather impatiently. The figure seemed to drift closer.

“Consider me your guide. To you and to all who seek the soul stone.”

“Great. You tell us where it is and we’ll be on our way.” Natasha’s gun was still aimed at it, unwavering. Stepping out of the shade, it’s gaunt features sent a chill down her spine. With red skin and no flesh, it seemed to ring a bell in Y/N mind. She had remembered Steve mentioning Red Skull a few times, but wasn’t he already dead?

“If only it were that easy.”

At a slow and haunting pace, he stepped forward and gestured towards a cliff. Y/N shared an uneasy look at the two of them, feeling her heart drop to her stomach.

“What you seek lies in front of you, as does what you fear.”

“The stone’s down there.” Clint joined and looked down to the black abyss below.

“For one of you. In order to take the stone, you must lose which you love. An everlasting exchange,” he announced “a soul for a soul.”

Moments later, Natasha sat on a boulder deep in thought while Clint stood still. On the other hand, Y/N paced back and forth. “Maybe he’s joking, wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been played.”

“No. Thanos went here with his daughter and left without her.” Y/N turned around, grasping for anything. She couldn’t lose either one of them.

“Maybe it was just a coincidence, Nat.”

“Well I’ve never come across a coincidence I’ve liked.” She stood up as Y/N took a shaky breath. “Whatever it takes.” she echoed Steve’s words from moments ago, the weight of it all finally setting in. The pieces clicked together in Natasha and Clint’s minds and rushed towards the younger Avenger. “Y/N you can’t-” Clint grasped for her hand but she shook it off, “You can’t either! They can’t lose you, either of you!” she blinked away her tears before they could fall “The original six, there’s no way I’m letting you do it. Part of the journey is the end, isn’t that what Tony said?” Shaking her head, she defiantly stepped closer to the edge. “Y/N stop!”

“Your journey is just beginning, Y/N.”

“Clint, you have a family. Nat, you can finally find the peace you deserve. Safety. Home.” To that, the woman with red locks looked down, not being able to meet her gaze. Y/N had always been special to her. While they joked around, Y/N was always there for her no matter what. Clint held his head up. Ever since the day she joined them, he took her under his wing and made her feel at ease. He considered her one of his children, and he couldn’t possibly imagine saying his jokes to no witty responses anymore.

“What about Steve? You can’t leave him like this.” At the sound of his name, she stopped walking. Her heart ached, knowing that they’ll never reach their happy ending; but maybe happily ever after never existed. She thought back to their conversation just over a week ago, how they would reside in a small cabin in the woods and watch their children run around. She knew he would have done the same thing in her shoes. Maybe they were both reckless. It brought a somber smile on her face, to remember her last conversation with him.

“Wait for me?”

“I will.”

“Tell Steve to take all the time he needs. I’ll wait for as long as he wants.” with a teary eyed smirk, she composed herself.

“No! Y/N!” and she ran off the ledge, without looking back.

Present Time

With the press of a button, all of them were back in the Quantum Tunnel. Scott raised both his arms in the air and cheered, “Hell yeah! We did it!” shortly before everyone noticed someone was missing. Steve looked to his right, where Y/N should have been standing. Empty. “Clint, Nat? Where’s Y/N?” His blue eyes tried to find some answers in theirs, but to no avail. Clint dropped to his knees and Nat spoke barely above a whisper, “she’s gone.”

Hollow. That’s how Steve felt. He thought he knew what pain felt like; deep cuts and hits that would leave a mark on his skin. But through the entire century he had lived, he had felt nothing like this before. Steve felt absolutely shattered, depleting anything of his energy remaining dedicated to letting his anguish out on a few punching bags. Sometimes, he’d avoid walking past her old room in fear of reliving the times they spent together, not okay with the fact that they were nothing but mere memories now. He would grimace at the irony that he helped people cope with their pain, when it seemed that he lost any idea on how to. He heard a soft knock on his open door and he didn’t bother turning to check who it was. He found a photo frame perched atop the dresser. It was taken at the first ever Stark Gala they attended as a couple. Each of them smiled wider than ever as they looked into each other's eyes. God, he missed her.

“Steve, I miss her too.” Natasha sat on his bed, right next to him. His eyes were glossed over and bloodshot, dark circles around his eyes. She knew that he wouldn’t say anything, he hasn’t for the entire day. “You know she wanted me to tell you something before she,” she coughed “sacrificed herself.” He lifted his head up a little over an inch while turning to face Natasha. “She said ‘take all the time he needs. I’ll wait for as long as he wants.’” and to that, Steve let a tear drop onto the glass frame.

After collecting himself back together again, he jumped straight back into the mission. Y/N died for this, and he wanted to honor her. He vowed to give her a proper funeral afterwards, once the world went back to normal. After Bruce snapped with the gauntlet, their goal was over; save everyone else. The clear skies only lasted for so long before each of them realized that Thanos’ army would resurrect and wreak havoc. Steve didn’t really remember what happened, or if it even did. In the moments he would fall down, he’d think about Y/N and stood back up again. From the corner of his eye, he could see Tony wielding the gauntlet. He achingly got back up on his feet, in time to turn away from a blinding white light that lasted for a few seconds. Around him, aliens were reduced to nothing but dust. Thanos looked at his defeat, before his ashes fluttered away. For the first time in a while, Steve smiled. Quickly, he took in Tony’s pale and lifeless face. Steve watched from a distance, not wanting to interrupt his last few moments with the people he loved. Pepper pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek before the remaining life in his eyes faded away.

Tony’s funeral was merged with Y/N’s. Each avenger paid their respects as wreaths dedicated to them floated above the still water. A photo of Y/N was displayed on top of the wooden dock. Steve remembered how much she hated the photo; she would say that it wasn’t her best angle, but he loved it anyways. Her eyes sparkled and her smile brought the sun to shame. Steve finally came to peace with it, he’d meet her again soon; he just knew it.

With a briefcase filled with stones in hand, Steve looked to Bucky. He had told him of his plans already and with reluctance, Bucky ultimately let him. It was the least he deserved. “Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” They shared a brief hug before Steve stepped back into the tunnel. “How long is this gonna take?” “For him, as long as he needs,” Steve suited up hearing Y/N’s voice echo in Bruce’s words “but for us five seconds.” Five seconds pass and he hasn’t appeared. Calmly, Bucky pointed to a bench where an old man sat. Tentatively, Sam approached him.

“Hi, Sam.” Steve’s hair went gray, and his voice grew old.

“So did something go wrong or did something go right?” Sam immediately took in the fact that there was a solemn smile on his face. “Well after I put the stones back, I thought maybe I should try some of that life Tony told me to get.

“How’d that go?”

“It was beautiful.” Steve slowly reached for the circular bag and unzipped it to show a shield, in mint condition. “Try it on.” Carefully, Sam held it on his arm but it didn’t feel right.

“Thank you, Steve.” He caught a glimpse of a glimmering object on Steve’s ring finger; a golden wedding band. “Are you gonna tell me about her?”

“No. I don’t think I will.” Sam stepped back to Bruce and Bucky, giving the old man space. From a pocket on the inside of his jacket, Steve pulled out a photo that yellowed over time. He looked upon the figures on the sheet.

Y/N and Steve with their two children in their arms, relaxing near a picturesque lake similar to the one in front of him.

He smiled, remembering the promise they’ve made to each other.

Thank you for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated, but not required! My taglist and requests are open! :)

Taglist (sorry if you got the notif again!) @editsbyjenny @fashionlive15 @straightforwardly

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fic #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america fanfic #captain america fic #captain america imagine #captain america x y/n #captain america x you #chris evans #endgame spoilers #steve rogers reader insert #captain america reader insert #steve rogers angst

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gandrewheadcannons · 5 years ago

Text

Drabble 1 (angst) (open ended)

I wrote a drabble that’s angsty like I’ve been recently.

Andrew doesn’t wish often for things. He prides himself on being reasonable. Pragmatic. He’s meticulously organized and often not caught up in frivolous thoughts that would have him desiring for something he could just create with a well-thought-out plan to achieve. He lived very much by the notion of ‘if you want it, go for it’ and liked that about himself. It kept him grounded, kept him level headed. Made it so he could breathe easier when he was anxious. If he stayed far away from wishing then he had less to add to his mix of doubt and insecurities. But right now, very out of character, he found himself sitting alone at two o’clock in the morning wishing.

Ryland had stopped filming hours ago and Shane had retreated to the editing room to work. Andrew had declined working in the same room as him feeling squicked by the copious amount of lip gloss Shane had been smearing across his mouth. He was left to his own devices in the spare bedroom when a picture had appeared across his twitter feed that had stopped him in his tracks. It was an old photo of him and Garrett, something someone had screen grabbed from a video where Garrett’s eyes are twinkling and Andrew’s got a soft smile as he stares at the boy. The person had tagged them both and added a message of ‘soft bois’ with a bunch of emoji hearts. It had been shared and liked a good number of times but it wasn’t the picture itself that had him stopping. He’d seen it so many times that at this point it didn’t surprise him to see the way he was watching Garrett in it.

No, what had him stopping was the top tweet underneath it that read, ‘Im sad they don’t seem to hang anymore…used to ship but now I hope Garrett finds people who can appreciate him. The squad definitely doesn’t’ That tweet had almost as many likes as the original, a list of people agreeing. He hesitates to click the profile and then decides against it, exiting Twitter completely and then opening his messages and scrolling to find the conversation with Garrett. It had been a few weeks since they’d texted and Andrew feels a bubble of guilt building in his stomach fluttering amidst something else that Andrew realizes is desire. He misses Garrett. He could easily admit that to anyone who asked. He didn’t to see him as much now that Shane had moved and Andrew spent the majority of his time here. But what he wasn’t sure that he was so readily able to admit would be the fact that, even though it’s just a brief moment, he wishes more than anything that Garrett was there with him.

Looking around the guest room it feels lonely and isolating with the glow of his phone and computer screen the only lights. Biting the corner of his thumb nail he hesitates as he figures out what to send. It was late and though he knew Garrett was awake he found himself, for one of the first times in their friendship, unsure of how to start a conversation with him. Thinking back to the horoscope Shane had read him he blushes despite being alone with his intrusive thoughts. He knew he adored Garrett. Had always done so from the moment they’d met in person and Garrett had shared his cold brew and spoke excitedly about a puppy he’d seen on the way to meet him.

Garrett was his go to guy for any anxieties he might have, his favorite person to get lost with in conversations, but he seemed so far away as of late. He hadn’t wanted to be a part of the series this time. Had explained it softly to them back in February that he’d rather take time for himself and to be with his family. It had felt like a slow bandaid being pulled achingly from Andrew’s side; the comfort of laughter and ease not being present in the long days of filming for the past nine months. He was tired.

Bypassing the messaging all together he bites the bullet and hits the call button, the screen enlarging with buttons and ‘calling G’ scrolling across the top. He’s about ready to hang up and send an apology text with each uwhen all of a sudden Garrett picks up. It’s loud in the background of wherever he is. Andrew hates that he doesn’t know.

“Hey!” Garrett’s voice shouts loudly. “Give me a minute, I’m trying to go outside.” There’s clinking of glasses and someone shouting as music suddenly blares and then it all fades into a quiet hum like something pulled from a movie. “Sorry!” Garrett sounds breathless and laughs a little. “It’s wild in there. What’s up? Are you okay?” His voice going from laughter to concern, the volume lowering into a normal speaking tone with Garrett’s quick pacing sprinkled into the tone.

“I’m good.” Andrew already feels the constricting in his chest lightening some. “Where are you?” A nervous laugh bubbling over and spilling between his lips as he says, “it’s like…way past a Garrett Watts approved party time.” Garrett lets out a manic laugh and Andrew finds himself craving to see the reaction in person.

“Oh I know! It’s so silly. I really did want to leave like three hours ago but now I’m kind of stuck because I got too drunk to drive back home.” Andrew can detect a hint of slurring to confirm the statement. A drunk Garrett was one of his favorite versions; overly tactile and honest with whoever he was with. Andrew could do with a hug.

“Are you okay? You want a ride?” Being forty minutes away was a stretch of an offer but Andrew found that he was up and walking towards his shoes. He’d drive it if it meant spending one night with Garrett.

“Oh Andrew that’s so sweet!” Garrett coos, “I’m really okay, it’s fine. You’re probably at Shane’s anyways?” Andrew hates that he’s so predictable now. Misses when he was only down the street.

“Yeah I am.” He sighs. From his window he can see one of the driveways with his car in it. “I don’t mind, Garrett. I can come.” He presses further. Garrett makes a booing sound and laughs again.

“It’s fine!” Then he drops his voice. “Actually, can I tell you something?” He trails off like he’s to giddy to contain the giggles that erupt. “It’s so crazy, Andrew. But oh!” He lets out another nervous laughter. “I kind of…maybe met someone.” He’s breathless, slurring together the last of his words into one quick session.

“What?” Andrew feels blank. Garrett had met someone. It wasn’t like this was different. Garrett had met so many people and Andrew had picked him up from countless of dates that hadn’t gone well but the last he’d heard; Garrett wasn’t interested in dating anyone. “Like…a someone?” His throat feels painfully scratchy like if he speaks any louder his hammering heart might claw its way up it and out through his mouth. Pitiful. The best way to describe himself in the moment.

“Yeah!” Garrett is whispering. “His name is Ron. We didn’t even meet through Tinder I just like… kept seeing him at the same diner as me at the same time and we ended up eating together a few times. I thought we were just friends but it turns out he thought we were on a few dates!” Garrett laughs. “I pretty much suck at this.” He admits but he doesn’t sound as despondent as he normally would with the statement. In fact, he sounds more amused.

“Wow.” He’s stilted in his commentary. The hopeful feeling that had warmed his body was slowly drained and replaced with something akin to regret. “How…uh.” He clears his throat annoyed that he feels like crying. “How long?” He wants Garrett to say a week. Wants him to say that he doesn’t think it’ll go anywhere.

“A few months,” Garrett says hastily. “I dunno. We aren’t like…it’s not super serious. But I really like him.” He’s enraptured as he says it.

Nine months of almost no time together save the odd weekday coffee now and then had Garrett in a relationship with someone for more than just a week. Andrew is definitely going to be sick.

“That’s great,” It isn’t. Nothing feels great. Andrew wants to hang up the phone. “Hey, actually, I have to go.” He tries to not let his disappointment seep through his gritted teeth. Garrett doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his regret.

“Oh.” Garrett's disappointed. “Are you sure?” Andrew doesn’t want to. Wants to stay on the phone with him for hours. Wants to lay on his brown leather couch and watch an obscure western Garrett had found on Vimeo. Wants to drink English breakfast tea as they watch the sun rise because they’d stayed up too late make stupid videos he’d saved into a special file on his hard drive.

“Yeah man, I didn’t know you were out and stuff.” He doesn’t want to be that guy, unsure if he means the one who keeps a friend on the phone during a party or the one who is desperate for that friend to pity him enough to do it anyways. He’s not sure he cares that he’s both.

“I don’t mind, Andrew.” Garrett sounds surprisingly sober all of a sudden. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Andrew nods then remembers that Garrett can’t see him through the phone.

“Yeah.” He lets out a breath to loosen the constricting around his throat. Please stay with me threatens to pour out but he manages to keep it contained. They’re quiet.

“Megan Batoon get another boyfriend?” He knows Garrett is joking but it’s that comment that has him realizing why Garrett had gone and found someone knew. The slight under bite coupled with the reminder that Andrew wasn’t supposed to be interested in Garrett like that.

“No boyfriend.” He can’t bring the joke to life either. “Not her at least.” It falls flat. The noise from the background is completely gone now and Andrew wishes for the distraction of it back. He can hear Garrett’s breathing through the phone, heavy puffs like he’s starting up to say something then thinking better of it. Before Andrew can continue and apologize for whatever weird, standoffish twist their conversation had taken he hears someone calling Garrett’s name in the background. There’s a shuffle and then hushed tones before Garrett is back on the phone.

“Hey man.” He clicks his tongue disappointed. “I gotta go but maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime soon? Catch up.” He doesn’t sound like he had before. Sounds like he’s making an obligation to save whatever it is they have.

“Yeah.” Andrew wants so badly for that to happen and for them to climb back into each other’s space. “I really want to.” He knows it’s just a formality at this point. He only has a few weeks before the first episode drops. Coffee soon was looking like November if they both really tried.

“Cool! Yeah, that’d be good. Talk to you later,” Garrett doesn’t hang up quite yet, like he’s waiting. “Love you.” He tacks on as if he’s embarrassed to be saying it. It’s rushed.

“Love you.” Andrew’s slides out easily as if it was simple. A phrase both of them accustomed to saying. It shouldn’t be so hard. The phone goes quiet and when Andrew finally grows the will to pull it down from his ear it’s just his home screen. His heart sinks at the lack of Garrett.

Sadness envelops him like a blanket as he curls deep into the crevice of the bed with his hood pulled tightly up. Steering clear of Twitter he opens up Netflix on his phone and tries to fall asleep to an episode of The Office, Michael Scott’s antics soothing his mind. His dreams filled with images he can’t recall being real or not, Garrett’s name on the edge of his tongue; a sloshing wave of regret in his stomach. He makes a promise to himself then- no more wishing allowed, developing a plan to fix them before the year was up. It was what he did.

#gandrew #drabble 1 #angst drabble #open ended drabble #i might continue it if people wantedddd #i'm just in a mood lol #hope u enjoy ;)

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