#buy test 400

[bigmammallama5]

My parents bought their 4 bed 3.5 bath house 32 years ago for $145,000 (originally $200,000). This summer a similar house a block away (similar age, 4 bed 3.5 bath, slightly smaller lot) went up for $800,000. It's since been reduced to $650,000 and they put some more work into it, but it's still on the market. I know interest and investment and overall cost of living raise prices, but that just seems like highway robbery to me.

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[forestryfae]

i want moneeeey i want to go shopping i wanna go to the thriftstore i wanna spend money. specifically. i wanna buy a nightstand for my bedroom, some fun plates and pasta bowls, a few extra forks would be nice, more pants, and i wanna buy some cleaning supplies im out of and a set of like 2 or 3 trashcans, and i really could use some winter underclothes. like wool or merino tights and sweaters.

but most importantly the trashcans and the cleaning stuff, rly need trashcans. ideally one for the kitchen, one for the bedroom and one for the bathroom. out of all the rest of this stuff tho i want pasta bowls and wool underclothes the most.

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

[antigonenikk]

What it would actually be like to date various HBOWAR men (modern au):

by me and @guarnerepdf

Speirs:

-is a cokehead finance bro

-you wake up in the middle of the night to him watching you sleep with no explanation given, just an eery smile

-is gaslighting you for purposes unknown (moving your furniture one inch to the left etc)

-buys you the fucking tackiest expensive jewelry and designer clothes as random gifts but half of it is fake

-you justify staying because he takes you to NOBU but you’re afraid to google him

-malarkey keeps telling you he's a serial killer but he has such beautiful hair

-lipton keeps handing you domestic violence brochures when he thinks no one is looking. you throw them away because you want that fucking ugly gucci belt! and the staring is sort of charming after a while

-possibly has a secret child that he is hiding from you. you're not sure.

-the first time you have sex he chokes you without asking and is confused when you get mad at him over it.

-does coke while eating dry fruit loops cereal in the morning. somehow looks hot while doing it.

Liebgott and Webster:

-challengers level toxic throuple, these two come as a pair!

-liebgott is xanned out so badly on the regular that he does not remember the last time he washed his hands.

-lieb met bill and toye in rehab and now all his friends are undergrads even though he's going on thirty.

-lieb won't kiss you in the morning "goddamn it woman, brush your teeth" but will kiss webster no problem!

-lieb likes webster more, but web likes you more because you don't call him slurs and you let him rant to you about sharks.

-you and web unionize at some point to get liebgott back into rehab. when he's gone you realize your relationship is 200 million times healthier but also extremely boring. you take him back the minute he releases himself AMA.

-lieb cannot figure out how to work tiktok, meanwhile webster has 100k subscribers on youtube and does grwm story time videos.

-you once had to be driven home by babe from the gas station after lieb kicked you out of the car. the fight was because he didn't believe you when you said you were allergic to gluten. babe lets you play cinnamon girl by lana del rey on the way home.

-lieb keeps trying to weaponize therapy language against you, 'baby you're fucking gaslighting me!' webster just makes it worse when he tries to explain what the terms actually mean.

Bill:

-you start dating Bill after he steals you away from Babe. Babe was nice, but you got the ick immediately after realizing he's not the leader of the friend group.

-bill sends you disgusting dick pics with extremely poor lighting. you can see his bottle of lotion in the background.

-you think it's sweet that he brings flowers when you go out until you realize they're stolen from the neighbor's flowerbed.

-you have an extremely lavish jersey shore wedding that culminates in a horrible fight when he shoves cake in your face ruining your 400 dollar makeup (that you paid for) and your 2000 dollar dress (that you paid for). during your vows babe has to hold himself back from saying something when the priest asks if there are any objections.

-DIRTY fingernails! does not wash his hands. gives you a UTI but doesn't understand that it's his fault.

-Doesn't cheat but is always on the brink of it.

-Follows multiple swimsuit models on Insta, claims it's okay because 'sweetheart, listen, it's all on the screen!'

-Is so cheap he refuses to pay for extra sugar for your coffee, 'you've had it bitter before, babe.' you are ready to murder him. takes you to chili's and acts like it's a michelin star restaurant.

Talbert:

-cheats on you immediately. within the first week.

-sends you anonymous texts to get STD tested, too scared to actually go to the clinic but is certain he's dying of syphilis.

-cries to lip for an hour when you leave him for speirs.

Gale Cleven:

-'sweetheart. are you really gonna wear that out to dinner? it's a bit...well... risque.'

-accuses you of being an alchoholic every time you drink, but Bucky has done four Jeagerbombs tonight and isn't getting any lectures. Also. Why is Bucky with you two on your date night?

-is straight but keeps stringing Bucky along because he reminds him of his father and for narcissism reasons.

-marge messages you on facebook to warn you about him, and also to sell you on her new MLM scheme.

-bucky keeps giving you mean little grins as he hangs off your man....you are very close to murdering him.

-you finally leave him after he calls you daddy in bed. not mommy. but daddy.

Bucky:

-gives you chlamidya three weeks into dating. gaslights you into thinking you got it from sitting on a public toilet seat.

-drives drunk while you're in the passenger seat, goes above 90 and almost kills the both of you.

-is in love with gale and you both know it but refuses to talk about it.

-laughs when you start crying over your new STD diagnosis.

-is the worst boyfriend in the entire world. do not date this man!

Leckie:

-cheats on you with vera, but has a jealous meltdown everytime you talk to hoosier at house parties. you were literally just asking the man for a lighter.

-hoosier is stirring shit up for shits and giggles. he keeps liking your thirst trap insta photos, commenting 'photo cred'

-cries when you confront him about cheating. writes a poem to you about how badly hurt he was by the whole situation. says he only did it because that's how he was raised! no one taught him how to love properly!!

-exploits his family trauma at any given opportunity, shameless about it

-writes you sweet yet cringy love poems

-chuckler keeps trying to warn you but is so awkward about it that you just end up super confused

-blows up the minute you try and critique his writing

-tells you you're acting 'just like you're mother!' during arguments

-eventually you break up because you cheat on him with hoosier and he cheats on you again with vera

Hoosier:

-completely emotionally unavailable

-laughs at you in the middle of a fight, then when you storm out he stares at the wall for four hours straight. no blinking. no moving.

-goes to chuckler thinking he's dying because he has a 'weird feeling in his stomach.' the feeling is literally just a crush.

-catches leckie flirting with you. doesn't cause a scene but DOES immediately cheat on you as a retaliatory action. has no idea why you're mad about it.

-determined to hurt you before you hurt him.

-somehow makes you think you're in the wrong due to the sheer FORCE of his conviction that it was okay for him to cheat on you.

-you two break up but get back together after having a baby. the baby is possibly not hoosier's but he's a genuinely good father. (the baby very obviously has leckie's face. no one is fooled.)

-during your wedding ceremony leckie has to be thrown out after making the worst best man speech of all time.

-parent teacher conferences are a nightmare because your child is biting the other kids and is failing all her classes. hoosier blames you for not helping her with her homework. you all go out to souplantation afterwards and he keeps dropping barbs about you being a dumbass.

-the two of you stay married for 40 beautiful years before dying of old age. within those 40 years you separate and get back together a total of 5 times. leckie somehow outlives you both.

Luz:

-is sweet and lovely and handsome and makes you laugh a lot but

-you're banned from six movie theatres, three bars, the pier, disneyland, and a froyo shop

-you don't even LIKE froyo but the fact that you can't fucking go there anymore is driving you up the wall

-you got kicked out of disneyland because he got into a fistfight with donald duck

-his mother HATES you. she is the ultimate boy mom. they are constantly talking about you in Portuguese behind your back. she wears white to your wedding.

-cannot go grocery shopping because he's stopped every five feet by some old acquaintance. you have no idea how he knows any of these people!

Eugene:

-you're his beard but he doesn't know it

-is the ideal gay boyfriend/husband

-buys you flowers and takes you out on beautiful dates. cringes when you try to kiss him

-everything would be PERFECT except snafu keeps creating dummy accounts to harass you, drives by your house at all hours of the night, and you're pretty sure he's planning to SWAT you.

-eugene has no idea why you hate snafu? he's such a sweet guy!

Babe:

-you're a bit embarrassed to tell your friends you're dating him....he's sweet but just so dorky

-almost puked on you after taking a dab at bill's house. you had to comfort him for ten minutes

-long suffering angel who you cheat on because you know he's just too good for you.... better to hurt him before he leaves you first!

-is popular on tiktok somehow. you have no idea how this happened but it did

[gregorygerwitz]

apparently this is the year for this...

Please Help Us Out With Bills

Currently, I'm virtually unemployed due to health issues and my employer all but refuses to give me short term disability pay because I don't have a diagnosis yet. I'm doing DoorDash as much as I can, which brings in ~$150 a week if that. It leaves my roommate, @kitthekazoo, to cover most of the mutual bills - like rent - virtually on her own. But that does mean she can't pay her own bills (like car and insurance) after paying the second half of our rent this month.

Like I said, I'm doing DoorDash around doctor's appointments and other activities, like school (which is paid for by my employer, who I still technically work for, I'm just on an extended medical leave - it's excused time off, but I don't get paid at all), but that doesn't bring in much. My checking account (where my DD money goes) is negative almost $400 because things keep taking out and every single one of those charges also incurs an insufficient funds fee of $31.

I would need ~$750 just to get positive enough to pay Kit back for my half of this rent payment. Plus I have my own bills to pay - car insurance, credit cards I'm desperately trying to catch up with the payments on, gas so I can keep doing DD, etc.

I know it's a lofty goal, but getting $1k by the end of the month will keep us sane and housed while I navigate my medical issues. Hopefully, after we run a few tests next week, they'll have a better idea of what's going on and when I'll be able to go back to work, and these money issues won't keep coming up...

I'll link my accounts below, including my etsy where you can buy some crochet projects from me if you want something in return for your donation! Or feel free to message me here or on etsy if you want something made that isn't listed in my shop.

Thank you in advance for any little bit, even if you can just reblog to spread the word. 💜

paypal venmo: amwallace95 etsy

so far: 230/1000

EDIT: I fixed the links!

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

How did you end up with a wedding dress with pockets??

Here's what happened:

I decided that a dress is a dress and I am wearing it once, I am going to the discount dress shop and buying one that is half decent. bish bash bosh maximum £500

Went to three different outlets and tried on 50+ dresses and not one of them fit the criteria of "wouldn't mind being photographed in this"

Decided go to an actual bridal shop that is not wildly expensive to see 'is it all dresses and I should lower my standards?' or 'there is an actual reason these cost more'

Go in and select 5 lacey, art deco, heavily beaded slim fit fishtail dresses, the kind my Pinterest board is filled with

My mother selects what can only be described as a behemoth of unembellished satin. It is double the total fabric of the 5 dresses I am holding.

I thought she was holding it up as a joke, but she goes "I think it will really behoof the wearer" BEHOOF

There is no space in the changing room with this monster in there so I decided to try it on first so the immediate rejection will clear up much needed spanx wiggling-into space.

Unfortunately, and to my mothers eternal smugness, I am behoofed.

It has the most ridiculously pleated puffy waistline that should not work, and i quip to the seamstress that they "could probably hide pockets in there, can they add pockets? I've always loved a dress with pockets"

And she only hears the last part and goes "ah yes and now you have them in your wedding dress!"

And I go ????!?

And she very politely fishes in the 400 folds to find the in seam hidden pockets

I run to the changing room to test they do indeed hold my full phone and put a deposit on it immediately

My mother was so smug she bought the dress.

[onrainynights]

OK, so:

my parents and younger siblings are losing their health insurance on June 1st. They found out yesterday. It will cost my dad $400/month PLUS $40 copay every visit to insure him and my mom. My brother is a minor so my parents can pay for state insurance for him, I don't know how much that will cost. My sister will have to find a full-time job or be uninsured. I live with them, and have been struggling to find work since my seasonal job ended in October. Normally I pay them $200/month to help with rent and expenses, and I buy most of my own food/groceries. Right now though, I have less than $1 in my bank account and they have been fully supporting me. They can no longer afford to do so as of June 1st.

I've been working to set up an Etsy shop selling handmade needlepoint patches. My older sister is a professional photographer and since she owed me a photoshoot, she's taking product photos for free. However she's also in the middle of moving so she's only done some of the photos, so I can't open the shop yet. HOWEVER. I can make custom order listings without the fancy photos if anyone would like to order a patch before the shop is really open. I am still trying to find a job, but any order I receive would be an incredible help. Just one order is half a week's groceries. I could afford to stay here and avoid becoming homeless with 15 orders a month. I'm not expecting that number, but really anything helps.

Here are the patches. I don't have close up shots of all of them and some of them are upside down. The wide shot includes all the options (just the flags, although if someone wanted to buy a bigger piece that could be arranged. not all of them would be suited as patches though)

(also, that specific bi flag patch is defective and won't be sold. I meant to take it out of the lot before I gave them to her to photograph)

they work best as sew-on patches, but for an increase in price I can include an iron-on backing. I don't recommend iron-on if you plan to affix the patch to a heavy material like canvas. It hasn't been tested with denim (mainly because I don't own any denim and cannot touch it without gloves) if anyone is interested please DM me, and I can set up a custom listing on etsy and send you a link.

sew-on patches are $20, iron-on patches are $23. shipping is calculated at checkout on etsy. the patches are about 1 inch x 1 inch (not exact, they're obviously rectangular)

and if you don't want a patch or can't afford one but still want to help, please reblog this so it can reach as many people as possible. thank you

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[anystalker707]

Giving him silent treatment

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gender neutral] Reader Words: ~ 1 400 Summary: You end up giving Sanji a silence treatment after the latest events. Tags: Sanji is very boyfriend / But also very dramatic / Just a little lack of communication

Requested by anon

A/N: i feel. nervous about this. ooc, maybe?

• Sanji will notice it right away that you're a little different with him, not glancing at him whenever he is around nor making a comment about how his good dish tastes

• You even decide to go with Usopp, Luffy, Robin, Franky and Zoro when you stop at this new island instead of with Chopper, Nami and Sanji like the usual (Brook had stayed back to watch the ship

• You’re there watching Luffy get chased by a local animal while Franky and Usopp uselessly try to help him out—now you understand the reason they never get anything done—when you comment something about just helping them out at once

• At first, Zoro just hums in agreement as he was there along with Robin and you watching the three fools, but then he pauses and raises an eyebrow at you. "What are you doing here? Where is the shitty cook?"

• Your face twisted in a way Zoro decided not to ask any further

• You’re back at the ship and Sanji will ask where you were, met with no answer once again

• Maybe you're distracted? Busy with something else? So he will let you be for a while and later come by, more of testing the waters, asking you about what you were talking about with Robin or if stupid Marimo bothered you too much

• He will feel completely lost with you not answering and absolutely reduced to a shrimp size once you glare at him in a quiet acknowledgement of his presence because he needs to know you're aware of him and just not answering on purpose, otherwise he'd just be convinced you're distracted again

• Absolutely devastated. Will enter in collapse mode and go over every single little thing that he did because he can't handle (y/n)—his beloved (y/n)—stopping loving him under any circumstances, even more for something he may have done without conscience. He won't be able to live a single day without you giving him attention, he might as well die if you're never going to talk with him again—his mind does escalate that quickly

• Will be found obsession cooking for the next couple of hours because cooking helps him think and Luffy doesn't see any problem with it

• Later, he comes to you with your favorite dish and that lost puppy face when you're sitting at a table on Sunny's deck

• ...It’s hard to resist to it, but it's for the best, so you just send him a look before returning your attention to the sea and wait until he walks away so you can eat the dish he leaves on the table

• Okay, Sanji will give you a while longer, still trying to make up with you until the end of the day, but the fact he doesn't get any good night kiss nor good morning hug starts to drive him crazy

• Baby boy will fucking cry. He cries the same way he did when you were captured by Crocodile and then again by Enel, with this angst heavy in his chest with the sensation he will never again have you cuddling him to sleep or kiss your cheek when you sit on his lap or even receive an adoring look from you because he's just that insecure with finally getting a partner after many failed attempts

"(Y/n)?" You looked to the side to see Nami standing there; you were sitting at the same place as the previous day, messing with a book you fixed on the last island. She furrowed her eyebrows a little, scratching the back of her head. "Is everything alright?"

"...I would say so, kind of, why?"

"Well, you and Sanji seem a little... off, y'know." Nami pulled the other chair back to have a seat. "You weren't buying spices with him yesterday, he seemed pretty lost. Also, he is crying."

"He's what?" Your eyes widened at how she'd dropped the bomb with such casualty and no more explanation.

Nami nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "Like, go talk with him! That's what I'm saying."

You cringed a little, sighing as you closed your book and leaned a little forward on the chair. Maybe giving him silent treatment wasn't the best way to deal with it in long-term; not only Nami had to approach the situation, but Sanji was fucking crying, also. Not that you weren't used to his dramatic behavior, but it was true it'd been a while since he last showed up and it usually wasn't a good sign if he was stuck in the galley like that.

"Take care." You slid your book to Nami with a sigh before you stood up and moved to go find Sanji.

The ingredients for whatever other dish Sanji was preparing received all the feelings he had supressed, being chopped quickly and with more force than needed while Sanji cried alone in the galley. You sighed at the sight, rolling your eyes half-heartedly before you closed the door behind yourself and approached him. Sanji looked over his shoulder and sniffled before he cried more.

"Hey, San, I—"

"I'm so sorry, my love, I don't know what I did, so maybe I'm not so worthy of your love anymore and..." He continued rambling without stopping chopping the vegetables.

You stood there for a moment, observing the mess he was in—you could ruin him just like that? Not like you wouldn't be desolated if you thought he happened to stop liking you, but knowing someone felt this way about you was quite different.

"Stop!" You grabbed him by the lapel of his blazer so he would finally stop what he was doing. "I never stopped loving you or anything, stop saying shit!"

Sanji blinked a couple of times and sniffled, looking at you. "Then what happened, mon amour? Every second without you feels like endless torture, I—"

"Sanji." You sighed, loosening your grip and playing a little with the fabric before you let your hands fall, fumbling with your thumbs at the lack of what to do under his confused gaze. "It's just that... You had..." Hell, it felt pathetic to say it out loud, to explain how your thoughts had twisted everything. "You promised me you would go with me to a clothing store as soon as we reached a new island, then you started making plans and didn't mention it. I thought you'd just not mention it to the others, but then asked Chopper and Nami to tag along as usual, and..." You paused to take a breath, swallowing dryly as your eyes followed along the buttons of his blazer. It would be shit if your voice started cracking and failing and got teary. "I got angry and frustrated, so I left because I didn't want to be rude to you because— because what if you didn't like me and everything I say doesn't matter? But then, what if you were just distracted and never noticed we had agreed on this little date thing? I didn't want to talk with you after that because what if I said the wrong thing? Did something I shouldn't just because I was angry and impulsive? I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to..." You sighed, shifting your weight, and motioned to him.

At first, Sanji didn’t know what to say, standing there with wide eyes. "No!" He mumbled, wrapping his arms around you to hug you close. "I didn't mean to make you feel like this! Didn't I tell you, my love?"

"Tell me what?"

Sanji blinked slowly as he looked at you then frowned, letting his gaze fall to the ground at the same moment his cheeks gained a red color—he didn’t really hug you anymore, more of just holding onto your sides with his hands balled into fists around your shirt. "I—I could swear I had told you to, um, wait until we got to a nicer island than the last one... There were many things to take care of, I could swear I had told you..." His eyes filled with tears again, and you hummed understandingly, wrapping your hands around his shoulders to hug him close and press a kiss to his head. "I—I didn’t want to m—make you feel that way—"

"Oh, no," you sighed as you cleaned his face, mentally cursing yourself. "No, c'mon, no need to sacrifice yourself at this, pretty boy, it happens!"

"But—"

The way you glared at him had Sanji falling quiet with a pout, making you grin before you pecked his lips in return.

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

[taiyeoki]

Kashimo Headcanons

↳ Husband!Kashimo x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Pregnancy

Synopsis: Kashimo being a man being from the Edo period doesn't change the fact that he's a loving husband and a soon to be father for y/n and their upcoming child.

A/N: I am so madly in love with him that I had to make a whole Tumblr account just to put this out there. This is a new account but I've been using Tumblr for years so I know how things work 💀 Except I use chrome so I never had an account. This is just for a personal idea but anyone's free to read! This one doesn't have any smut so it's just a wholesome thing but I'd like to put a warning anyway.

Husband!Kashimo who couldn't believe what he had heard when you announced that you were pregnant. You were sure he'd gone deaf when he needed you to repeat it like four times.

Husband!Kashimo opens the present you gave him. Inside was an adorable baby outfit with a little lightning crochet on the chest. "What's this for?" Instead, you just stared at him with excitement as if you were about to explode into a firework of happiness. With no reply from you, he decided to look back down into the gift box then noticed the pregnancy test with two pink lines on it next to the clothing. Immediately he looked back up at you and you announce, "Hajime guess what?! I'm pregnant!! Uh... Hajime?" He gave no response. He looked so dumbfounded and shocked at the same time you had to take a picture of his reaction.

Husband!Kashimo who finally registers the news and immediately his expression changes to one of absolute happiness. You swear you've never seen him express this much emotion before considering he usually kept an unamused or an angry resting face. His smile is so genuine, smiling ear to ear as he's about to burst into disbelief.

"I'm gonna be a dad?! Are you serious?! It took me 400 years just for this moment!"

Husband!Kashimo immediately tackles you into a hug, both of you laughing in excitement from the news. He snakes his arms around your waist as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Despite having large hands he uses for fights, they're actually pretty soft and gentle as he brings his hand around your belly and caresses it.

"Y/n," he murmurs softly, "love you so much..."

It took forever for him to let go. It's as if you would disappear if he lets go of the hug. You better believe he's gonna watch over you 24/7.

Husband!Kashimo refuses to let you out of his sight. You knew he was protective but now that you were pregnant he'd grown even more protective over you than he already was. You try to reassure him, "Hajime I'm fine! I'm just going to the bathroom okay?" But he just finds reasons to stay with you. "But what if you get your morning sickness again? At least let me accompany you in case anything happens." Or he pulls the "there are curses everywhere" card on you to let him watch over you.

You couldn't deny his requests of staying with you especially after he gave the softest look. Wrapping his muscular arms around you in a loving hug, he nuzzles close into you making sure to warm you up. Eventually you gave in...

Husband!Kashimo feels bad whenever you actually do get the morning sickness. He tries his best to find comfort in anything at all just for your sake. "Y/n are you okay? How are you feeling now? Do you want some tea?" At first he's too old to understand which medicine he should give you. After all, modern medicine never existed back in the 1600. Instead, he tried to soothe you with tea, herbal soups and warm bathes. Eventually though he does manage to understand what medication you should take and provides you with them but he still prefers it the old fashion way.

Husband!Kashimo dotes on you all the time. He makes sure you're always healthy and happy and whenever you're not, he'd be worried sick. "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick again? Hey how about I buy you some snacks okay. What are you craving for?" Eventually though you actually do cheer up with how much he keeps spoiling you.

Husband!Kashimo is constantly asking you questions to check in on you, making sure you feel loved and appreciated all the time. "Are you hungry?", "What do you wanna eat?", "do you wanna go out? The sunshine will do you good." "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

Husband!Kashimo refuses to let you get hungry or dehydrated. He makes sure to have you well fed everytime. The food he'd prepare are nutritious and healthy with all the right amounts of everything your body needs. Not too much and not too little. Grabbing a cup of water, he hands it to you, "y/n you need to drink lots. I don't want you or the baby getting sick because you aren't eating or drinking well. You both need all the nutrients and vitamins you can get." If you're planning to diet, be prepared for him to scold you.

"Are you crazy?! Dieting during your pregnancy?! You know what- c'mere. You need to eat now."

Believe it or not, despite being a traditional man from the 1600 Edo period he actually knows how to cook. Husband!Kashimo makes the most comforting food you've ever tasted. Although his cooking style is different, it's because of that which makes his food taste uniquely great. It has a delicious smokey aroma to it. At first he wasn't used to the stove and oven so he'd just cook by the log and fire. He started learning how to operate the stove though because you laughed at him for cooking like a caveman squatting down next to the fire like that.

"Pfft Hajime! You don't know how to use the stove?!" He gives you an unamused pout which you honestly found adorable so you decided to teach him how to cook from the stove. Almost immediately he seemed even better than you do in cooking which has his smug face putting you in shame. He's the one laughing at you now because you forgot you were cooking and burnt the food.

"SHIT," you came back panicking from the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen to see him giving you an unimpressed look as if he's about to lecture you. He already had the kitchen under control the moment you arrive. Giving him a sheepish smile, Kashimo doesn't want you near the fire until the baby is out. "Y/n, I'll do all the cooking now. I don't want you burning anything again. What if you get hurt? Right, that goes for the knives too. Let me do all the work."

Husband!Kashimo reassures you everyday that he loves you. It doesn't matter how you look, whether you get stretch marks or leaking breasts. "Y/n, trust me when I say this. In 400 years of my life you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He caresses your growing belly, keeping you in a warm hug as he nuzzles into you and takes in your scent which he always found to be soothing.

"Nothing you do is embarrassing. I love every single part of you. These stretch marks are a reminder of my love for you; our child. I'm happy to know that you're the one carrying my child."

Husband!Kashimo prefers for you to give birth at home because he thinks it's safer there rather than the hospital. He makes sure to hire the best OBGYN, doctors and midwives to check up on you. He looks at you with genuine care and concern, "Y/n the hospital is full of curses. I don't want you getting into any trouble there. What if our baby gets hurt from them?"

Husband!Kashimo instantly gets alert, sitting straight up and checking on you when you told him your water broke in the middle of the night while you two slept in each other's arms.

"Shit- Hajime wake up! My water broke!"

Good thing he hired the midwives. They were already prepared in advance knowing you were going to give birth soon so neither of you needed to panic into the hospital especially since he couldn't drive. He does try to get a license just for you though so he could help with transportation. Hakari helped Kashimo out too, not trusting him to be completely sane with a car and a driving instructor he might end up beating.

Husband!Kashimo is worried sick and upset that he can't do anything to stop the labour pain. The most he could do now is to try and relieve your pain and stress. Giving you a warm towel, a heating pad, making you some soothing tea, anything at all. It still hurts him though to see you like this.

Husband!Kashimo holds you close to him the moment your delivery is about to arrive. If he's being honest here, he's actually quite scared for you, afraid that anything might go wrong. He stays by your side the entire process, reassuring and motivating you.

"Keep pushing y/n, you're almost there."

"You're doing so well!"

"I'm proud of you and our son/daughter"

Husband!Kashimo lets you use him as a stress reliever. Crushing his arm and hands, he didn't expect you to have this much strength. He tries to calm you down, caressing you reassuringly or wiping sweat off.

The moment your childbirth finally ended, both of you are so happy and exhausted. Husband!Kashimo praises you for doing so good and being so strong. He caresses you, keeping you in a hug wrapped in his loving arms as you feel his tense muscles calm down. For a moment you even forgot about the delivery pain as you got distracted by his muscular body. His large veiny hands pull you close into the crook of his neck all snug, "Hah.. I think you broke my bones."

Well your crushing grip didn't break his bones but he definitely woke up with a bruise the next day.

Husband!Kashimo showers you and your son/daughter with so much love and attention. If he wasn't protective enough before, he definitely was now. In fact he'd be considered as overprotective at this point.

Husband!Kashimo doesn't hire anyone to do the confinement for you. Instead he does it himself, making sure to get you the best natural ingredients. He uses the freshest meat, the highest quality herbs and the finest tea. Surprisingly this ancient man knows a lot about women's healthcare, their pregnancy and confinement. Although he uses the 1600 Edo style rather than the modern one but it gives a unique treatment.

Husband!Kashimo gives you a baby shower consisting of practically everyone you knew from Jujutsu High. Gojo, Nanami, Shoko, Hakari, Kirara, and even the first and second years were there. He's not too fond of people and neither does he really call them friends but he does it just for you. Also he wants to show off his brand new family. It was a sweet heartfelt action which has you falling head over heels for him all over again.

Husband!Kashimo makes sure you get all the rest you need. He knows parenting isn't easy especially for the person who gave birth. Anytime you looked tired to him at all, he'll jump in and tell you he'll watch over your son/daughter even though he was already by your side to take care of the baby. Luckily this man has insane stamina, speed and efficiency to be keeping up with the baby's needs although he does tire out.

Husband!Kashimo showers you both with all his love and attention to the point he forgets he was looking for Sukuna. For a moment he even stops fighting just to take care of you both and make time for his family. The man is a fighter but he knows his priorities. Plus he'd rather leave his family out of his fighting business or he'll never forgive himself if anything were to happen to either you or your son/daughter.

Hugging you close and the baby safely on his lap between you two, Kashimo gives your son/daughter a sweet peck on their forehead as they fall asleep. He then leans in close to you and goes in for a kiss. His gentle, soft and warm lips intertwine with your own as you both share a loving, passionate kiss. Pulling away, he brings you closer to him and you rest your head on his chest. Sighing, he asks just in case, "is anything wrong?"

"Nah. I'm just happy that's all," you reply with an angelic smile looking up at him. His gentle expression smiling down at you with all the love in the world as you bring your hand up to caress his soft cheeks and the lightning marks under his eye which you always found beautiful. He leans into your loving touch, closing his eyes momentarily. Slight sparks of electricity sounded and you know it was a clear indicator of how happy he is right now. Being attached to you and your baby, you could see electricity go from one bun to the other in a mesmerizing pattern.

"Waiting 400 years for this was totally worth it."

Overall husband!Kashimo is a very protective father and husband to you and your baby. He'll do anything it takes to keep you both safe, happy and healthy. If anyone were to even lay a finger on the wife and son/daughter of Edo period's strongest sorcerer, you better believe they won't even get a chance to see their life flash before their eyes with Kashimo's lightning speed ending everything in an instant.

[squidbian-ink]

Hey guys. As you probably know, I was recently diagnosed with Dysautonomia (IST, VVS, potentially also POTS).

I've been stuck in bed for 10 months, struggling with severe orthostatic intolerance. I can't sit up at all without puking or fainting, and doctors don't seem to know how to help me.

I keep having to go to appointments, pay for tests and buy random medical shit to try and figure out what's going on. Since I live off just $400 a fortnight from Centerlink, basically every bill is a cost I can't afford.

For just $1 I'll sketch whatever you want, and it'll help me pay my medical bills and be able to sit up again 👇

ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE TO TIP IF YOU CAN'T. I have a roof over my head and I'm not gonna die- but it'd help me out greatly if you have the cash to spare!

I just wanna be able to paint again :")

[healthzthinker]

[roxyco-sexshopslut]

Upper management wants to make sure you're actually succeeding with your quota and not just lying so we need you to fill out this form detailing the 5 most recent customers you serviced, we need exact details on what they did to you and what products were used, and if the service resulted in a sale. Anyway if you could get that back up to the office ASAP that would be great.

(fuckin management..) Sureee

1. Had a customer come in and ask for a recommendation for a onahole, told her that they were all good but she wanted to try them out. So I spent a good hour jerking her off with several, and she ended up cumming and buying the @roxyco-deliverygirl molded onahole. Kinda pissed she didn't buy mine..

2. While I was on "hole in the wall" duty, a customer came in and fucked me while using several toys on my ass. Couldn't tell you what the toys were but they were big and flared~ Customer bought them but never scanned any of them so I don't know what they bought, they left like $400 on the counter so I'm not complaining.

3. When I was doing outside advertising, ended up going nude to show off all the nipple/genital peirceings we offer (all display peirceings on employees are high pressure clip-ons as per mandated by Roxy-Co). A few customers walked by and wanted to "test" them by tugging on them for about half an hour. When I came they decide to walk in and buy a few sets, so successful sale.

4. Had a rude customer come in complaining about poor dildo products from us that he bought the other day for his wife. Tried to give him a refund but he wanted a full replacement, so I had to personally hop on about 19 different ones while he watched. When I got to the behemoth "belly bulgers" set of dildos, he decided to masterbate while watching and gave me a heavy facial (which costs extra but he was a customer complaint so I said nothing). After I came, he took the biggest one and left.

5. @roxyco-deliverygirl came into the store before closing hours and she wanted a few of our experimental horny pills to try out. Gave her a few since they hadn't been tested yet and I must say, they might be a little...strong. She ended up going down on me from below the store counter even though we were getting a wave of customers. She seemed in a trance and I couldn't stop her, so just let her use her tounge on me for the last 2 hours of the shift. She calmed down about 4 hours after that, so I'd recommend lowering the effectiveness of the pill or at least have a disclaimer idk I'm not the product manager.

[coupsjin]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ svt hyung line: your first date

╰┈➤ summary: your first date! (obviously) so cute

╰┈➤ warnings: svt x afab, kissing (coups, wonwoo, kind of jun)

╰┈➤ a picture is provided for every member, just for you to visualize the setting!

250-400 words per member!

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

scoups / seungcheol

he asks for your number after spotting you at a bbq restaurant. he carefully plans out the perfect picnic date, followed by a night walk by han river! he heavily interviews mingyu on how to make salads, pastas, and anything else he thought you might like.

"you must really like this girl, hyung"

the day comes. he decides to wear simple jeans with a black shirt and sweater (to give to you later ofc!). his legs feel like jelly and become weak with nervousness and excitement, replaying the moment you made eye contact with him in the restaurant and softly smiling to himself. he opens the door and sees you in a stunning outfit, taking a moment to admire you and takes in a breath of the fresh spring air.

"shall we?" he said with sparkles in his eyes.

when you and cheol pick a location under a tree, he gloats about all the delicious food he made you that morning. it's a bit awkward, but the way he talks and looks at you make you at ease.

after having the food he made, it has now become night. like his plan, he gives you his sweater that is way too big for you. he laughs and teases you, but you're distracted by the smell of his cologne wrapped around your body. you blush, and take his hand.

after many laughs and serious conversations, he suddenly turns in your direction and looks into your confused eyes.

"have i told you that you look beautiful tonight?" he says in an almost whisper, a smirk plastering on his face.

he moves one of his hands to the back of your neck, the other moving to your waist, and leans in for a soft kiss.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

jeonghan

you approach him, but he falls harder. you and jeonghan had a few classes together, and you've waved and made casual small talk a couple times. at first it seemed like nothing - just a classmate. but as your conversations grew more personal, you could sense something was different. did jeonghan think the same?

you decided to put it to the test. after class, you went to his locker and asked if he wanted to study at the library together that day. he jokingly asked if this was a date, and you being flustered, bluntly answered:

"of course not! i just need help with homework."

he agreed, and you came to the conclusion that he didn't feel the same way. until you saw him have a huge smile on his face when he turned to his locker.

at the library, jeonghan kept stealing glances at you. you caught on quite fast, and looked at him back, holding eye contact.

"what, am i that handsome?" he teased.

focused on studying, you didn't pay attention to him for a while. when you do peep a glace, you can see that he's asleep on top of his math books. you were first mad, because he promised to help you with your english assignment. but seeing his long eyelashes cover his cheeks, and his slow breathing made you stare at him for longer.

when you turned your attention back to your textbooks, he opened his eyes a tiny bit, and smiled when he saw you stuck on a problem.

"she looks so pretty." he thought, while pretending to wake up.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

joshua / jisoo

you meet on a plane, coincidentally sitting next to each other. he smiles when you sit down, and makes small talk while you wait for the plane to lift off. he messages jeonghan for desperate help, wanting to ask for your number but too scared to approach you. he ultimately does get your number, and asks you on a date when you land in korea.

he decides to take you to a street market on a hot summer day. he takes you around different vendors, asking if you want anything at each one. jisoo runs across a bracelet stand, and immediately starts choosing one for both of you. he finds one with a cute bear charm and buys two, running back to you and showing them off.

"what do you think?" he asks, beaming with excitement.

you obviously love them and wear it on your right wrist.

it was getting way too hot, so you two decided to take a break and go to a restaurant for dinner. you have meaningful conversations and have a good laugh when he talks about the time when he poured a huge glass of ice water down seungkwans back, and funny times while living with the members. as time went on, you became comfortable with him.

at the end of your date, he insists you come back to his place for ramen and a movie, but you politely decline as you had some work to finish up.

"i guess that'll be our next date, then." you say, lighting his disappointed face up with a huge smile.

"deal."

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

jun / junhui

you and jun are old friends. you've been friends for 5 years now, and jun hasn't felt attraction to you at all - until now.

at one of your usual hang outs with the rest of your friend group, he pulls you aside from the bar and leads you outside. the streetlamp lit up his face, revealing his sharp nose and eyes. he asks if you want to come over the next day and watch his new drama, exclusive fairytale.

"oh, and it's a date." he says confidently, waiting to see your reaction.

you've also liked junhui for quite some time now, so you were excited to say the least. you happily agree and head back inside to finish up the night out.

you arrive at his house with a comfy but flattering outfit, nervous and excited to see him. you ring the doorbell and the door immediately opens. he welcomes you to his apartment and you head inside and get settled, while he's busy on his phone.

"what are you doing on your phone, jun?" you ask.

"ordering food for our date! what do you wanna eat?"

you decide to order pizza with fried chicken and coke, which he happily orders while smiling at you.

when the food arrives, he turns on the show and you eat the food while catching glances at him. a romantic scene between him and the female lead character plays, and you glare at jun who looks at you nervously.

"is this why you wanted to show me this, so i can get jealous?" you sulked jokingly. he laughs it off and says something you didn't expect.

"wanna recreate it?"

authors note: OMG i had so much fun writing jun's part... yes pls lets recreate it jun

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

hoshi / soonyoung

you met at a dance class held by hybe. he was one of the teachers, and had his eyes on you the whole time. by the end of the class, he was always standing beside or near you, and complimenting you on your dance skills. he pulls you aside and asks for your number (he makes an excuse and says that he would like to collab with you sometime, and not in by any means romantic).

later in the month, you meet him a couple more times to discuss possible collabs and choreos. during the most recent "meet-ups":

"dino cancelled our plans on the weekend.. i wonder what i can do instead?" he asks you with hopeful but nervous eyes.

you suggest asking one of the other members to go out, which he immediately declines for some odd reason. his face scrunches up, thinking of something.

"i want to go with you! lets go bowling this saturday."

surprised by his sudden proposal, you get flustered. it was true that you had developed some level of feelings for soonyoung after talking with him every week, but you didn't expect this.

on the date, both of you had a BLAST. it was a mix of pure rivalry, and taking short glimpses when he was drinking water, or when he wasn't looking at you. hoshi felt the same way. he teased you for struggling to pick up the bowling ball, and having a slip when you were returning to your seat.

he insisted to drive you home. on the drive back, the laughter continued. the moon was big and bright, with seventeen's "imperfect love" playing on the speaker - it was perfect.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

wonwoo

being the new girl in school, wonwoo had his eyes on you from the start. he isn't the most extroverted type, so he always kept his distance from you. his friends are always teasing him when they catch him staring at you from across the room. it's a big deal for wonwoo to like someone - but it was an easy decision with you.

after school, he approaches you and asks you to a casual dinner (this was when you guys started talking and had become friends). you weren't too sure at first, because you wanted to focus on your studies.

"i guess i'll give him one chance." you thought, and agreed.

he booked a reservation at a pretty prestigious restaurant to impress you. he picks you up at your house, and it's super awkward on the ride there. by the time you two sit down, he's practically begging for the menu just to have something else to talk about.

suddenly, after the food arrived, you two hit it off. conversations were flowing, you were comfortable, laughs were shared, and your feelings for him grew.

when you were talking about one of your classes at school, he stared at you with the most sincere you've ever seen him. flustered, you pause.

"why, what's wrong?" he asks

"nothing's wrong - i'm just admiring you."

after a successful dinner, you walk along the path of a park lit with fireflies and street lamps.

"can i hold your hand?" he asks

instead of replying, you interlock his hand with yours, feeling his warmth travel up your arm. he lifts up your hand and gives it a soft kiss.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

woozi / jihoon (woozi x producer y/n)

it all started when you sat next to each other in a meeting. you really looked up to him as a producer, and wanted to get to know him better (in a platonic way). after the meeting had ended, everyone gathered for refreshments outside of the room. you asked jihoon for his number, which he happily gave you. he also loved your work and looked forward to meeting with you soon.

you met several times at hybe again, briefly having conversations or just waving when you both were busy. jihoon has had the opportunity to work with you for projects and future plans, and was always the one to initiate new ideas and new meetings. he was just excited to see you.

although both of you had feelings for each other, you couldn't risk professionalism in the work place. so you set it aside. until one day, when you two were alone in his studio, he said the unexpected.

"look - i know this is unprofessional, but i can't help it. would you like to go on a date some time?"

you obviously agreed, having your eye on him for a long time. the plan was to go to an aquarium after work, then return back to finish up some more work.

the aquarium was a walking distance, so it was pretty easy to choose a day. you had a great time at the aquarium, joking with him and just staring at the fish tanks for a long time without a word.

it was time to head back to the hybe office. when you got outside, it was raining. hard. you both looked at each other and bursted out laughing.

"i guess we have to make a run for it!" he said excitingly. he grabbed your hand, and counted down from 3.

"3... 2... 1... go!!"

you ran through the rain, feeling cold splatters on your face and laughing out loud with the perfect guy.

authors note: this is literally so cute.. i saw that picture on pinterest and knew that it had to be woozi :')