#butter sales

[davidmariottecomics]

Butter Sales

Hello! 

Today's update is kind of a journey, but it's all leading to a super important update, so just stick with me. No real better way to get into it than to get into it, so... let's! 

Butter Base

Okay, so you know my friend, Ricky, right? Ricky? He's like... yay tall? Face like a meerkat? Yeah, him. Rrrrricky. Rickeeee. That's my boy. 

If you somehow don't know my friend Ricky, here's what you need to know. He's always coming up with these crazy schemes. Like, one time, Ricky... put flowers in a pot. Not like he y'know, planted a plant and flowers grew out of some beautifully sculpted terracotta. Nah, my boy Ricky, he bought some flowers for his mom but forgot to give them to her, so they were just like wilting in his house, so he put them in his big pasta pot. It was wild, but maybe you had to be there. 

Oh, that's the other thing you need to know. He has this big pasta pot because his mom, the one he bought flowers for, she's really good at making pasta. So she bought him a big pot so he could be good at making pasta, but I've tasted both of their pastas and Ricky's mom's pasta is where it's at and Ricky's pasta isn't very good at all. I guess there's more to pasta than a big pot. 

Ricky's New Gig

Alright, so one time, Ricky went to the store and they had a lot of butter. Like, how he first told it, it sounded like the store only had butter. But I asked and he said they had other stuff too, so, don't imagine quite as much butter as I did. Anyway, so he's at the store and they've just got all this butter. Ricky said it was like 50 times as much butter as a store should have. Just shelves of the stuff. And Ricky, you know him, he sees something like that and he starts cooking up these wacky ideas. So Ricky bought some butter. 

Now my boy is a butter salesman. He just goes around selling butter. And it seems like he's making bank. I know because he showed me this fat wad of cash he was carrying. He said he had to carry it around because his bank's really lame and wouldn't trade him non-buttery bills for buttery ones. 

He told me a trade secret, that I'm going to pass on to you. The sweet spot is the third house. The first two, the butter's like nice and cool and firm in your pocket, but it means you gotta find a knife to cut a pat off so people can taste test. But some people treat you really weird when you come up to their door and say that you need to borrow their knife so that you can sell them butter. The third house though, the butter's started to soften up, so you can just sort of scoop some out and let them lick it off your finger. People really like that. But for houses four and more, that gets a little tricky because the butter starts picking up like lint or money or whatever else you have in your pocket. 

My New Gig 

Ricky offered to get me a job working as a butter salesman, like him, and I took it. That's my big announcement. I'm leaving comics to go sell butter. Sorry! 

Don't tell Ricky this, but I also think I figured out a way to make even more in butter sales. I'm going to keep my butter pocket, my lint pocket, and my cash pocket separate. Like, duh. 

So next time you see me, tell me where your house is so I can come sell you some butter. 

Much love, David Butter Salesman 

P.S. DON'T READ THIS UNTIL APRIL 2ND April Fool's!

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Anime), The Circle (Trash TV), When Harry Met Sally (Movie), Logan Lucky (Movie), my friend Chloe Brailsford gave me a sneak peek of something they've been working on and it's very good. Keep an eye out for more from her! I haven't played it yet, but I'm very excited for The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog. You may've seen that Min Ho Kim, one of our artists over at IDW, worked on the character art! It's clearly a labor of love by everyone involved and that's really cool. WonderCon was nice. Glad I got to see some folks I haven't seen in a while. I did catch con crud (and tested and came back negative for Covid, it's just a head cold), so if I missed you or we only had a pretty quick, limited interaction, maybe it's for the best! Speaking of both friends giving me comics and WonderCon, Matthew Palacios gave me an ashcan of his book Metal Skin and it was a lot of fun! I've also been playing a bunch of pranks over on my Twitter (2 whole pranks)! So, no, I still haven't seen ALF and I did not expect other people to send me pictures of my cat. Those were goofs. Lastly, yesterday was Transgender Day of Visibility. I posted a couple times about a fundraising effort that was going for Point of Pride and saw they ultimately ended up making twice their initial goal, $2 Million, to help out thousands of trans folks with gender-affirming care. There are also a ton of cool people who were sharing themselves yesterday in a time when that's a very scary thing to do. 

New Releases this week (3/29/2023): Nothing from me, sorry! 

New Releases next week (4/5/2023):  Sonic the Hedgehog #1 5th Anniversary Edition (Editor--A new version of the first IDW Sonic comic, with a bunch of bonus content including a new comic short!)

Final Order Cutoff - Let your shops know to order these books by Monday (4/3/2023):  Sonic the Hedgehog #60 (Editor) Godzilla Rivals: Biollante vs. Destoroyah (Editor)

Announcements:

At the moment, I don't have any new appearances until San Diego Comic-Con! But, that's subject to change! And I may have other announcements coming to this space soon, so keep an eye out! 

Oh, just because, uhh... I know we're all convinced Twitter's just going to collapse any day now. I've tried various other social medias and a lot of them don't really work for me. The best ways to keep up are obviously my website, my Tumblr, my newsletter, or my Instagram. I am still on a few other things, but don't really use them. If you're on Tumblr or Insta, please do follow me there so I can follow you back and make sure we're staying in touch! 

I will plug in my usual Becca corner, their website's up and should all be working. There was a bug with shipping, but that should be fixed! Maybe buy yourself or someone in your life something nice! And I believe they're still on for streaming tonight at 7 PST on Twitch, assuming voices are still holding up as we get over the last of this con crud! 

Pic of the Week: Major shoutout to KEM Cosplay! We met at WaifuExpo at the beginning of last month (you can see a picture of her in a previous blog as Dr. Eggman) and ran into each other again at WonderCon over the weekend where she was wearing her BIG THE CAT COSPLAY! 

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was in the grocery store and I saw a big jar of peanut butter on sale for super cheap and I started crying out of joy.

[nopizzaaftermidnight]

Pippin voice: "They come in pints?"

[wetslug]

made a good ass mealprep lunch im kind of pumped to go to work tomorrow so i can eat it

[static-station]

SP stick of truth is fun when you're like not 8 years old and self insert yourself

and bonus warmup to figure shit out

[radlyradar]

Hey Hot Fuzz fans, wanna buy a keychain

I'm finally making that keychain I promised to do

Preorders now:

Link the Etsy

(I may or may not give freebies)

[shatterthefragments]

“Thank you for choosing us”

I chose you bc you had online booking (which turned out not to be working) and next day and same day appointments available. And even the oil change alone turned out to be over $100 and I’ve been told that if it is I’m being ripped off (but maybe times just have truly increased the oil prices) and just. Could’ve saved a bit more than half the cost if I was just a bit more pushy and willing to jack the car up. But. Anyway. Might just go home, shower, and maybe cry a bit.

Also I feel like I have a cough but i might just need some liquid bc I can’t have my water bottle bc it touched way too much outside stuff that I picked up while waiting two hours :( idk. Maybe a nap. (Edit: ok yeah hydration is so important still tired but ah well)

[sucktacular]

While making spaghetti dinner I simultaneously prepped a batch of chocolate chip cookies and set it in the fridge to chill so later we can have cookies and I feel Accomplished hehe :3

[rohirric-hunter]

.

[clementiens]

i've had to make a lot of adjustments after learning about my literal dozen food allergies and i've just been eating so much steak

[macabrity]

Sardine sandwiches might save us

[agnesandhilda]

there's just something demoralizing about being encouraged to sell customers things that we both know they don't need

[roadkill-dreaming]

[mesaryth]

im gonna try make orange poundcake today 🫡

[dandyshucks]

its so fun doing goofy things just on instinct and then suddenly thinking "damn F/O would love me for that"

[venacoeurva]

I have to fight myself to make Tracker ALSO a demiprince, however cool cunty forms/outfits that would come with the territory beckon