#butter sales
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davidmariottecomics · 2 years ago
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Butter Sales
Hello! 
Today's update is kind of a journey, but it's all leading to a super important update, so just stick with me. No real better way to get into it than to get into it, so... let's! 
Butter Base
Okay, so you know my friend, Ricky, right? Ricky? He's like... yay tall? Face like a meerkat? Yeah, him. Rrrrricky. Rickeeee. That's my boy. 
If you somehow don't know my friend Ricky, here's what you need to know. He's always coming up with these crazy schemes. Like, one time, Ricky... put flowers in a pot. Not like he y'know, planted a plant and flowers grew out of some beautifully sculpted terracotta. Nah, my boy Ricky, he bought some flowers for his mom but forgot to give them to her, so they were just like wilting in his house, so he put them in his big pasta pot. It was wild, but maybe you had to be there. 
Oh, that's the other thing you need to know. He has this big pasta pot because his mom, the one he bought flowers for, she's really good at making pasta. So she bought him a big pot so he could be good at making pasta, but I've tasted both of their pastas and Ricky's mom's pasta is where it's at and Ricky's pasta isn't very good at all. I guess there's more to pasta than a big pot. 
Ricky's New Gig
Alright, so one time, Ricky went to the store and they had a lot of butter. Like, how he first told it, it sounded like the store only had butter. But I asked and he said they had other stuff too, so, don't imagine quite as much butter as I did. Anyway, so he's at the store and they've just got all this butter. Ricky said it was like 50 times as much butter as a store should have. Just shelves of the stuff. And Ricky, you know him, he sees something like that and he starts cooking up these wacky ideas. So Ricky bought some butter. 
Now my boy is a butter salesman. He just goes around selling butter. And it seems like he's making bank. I know because he showed me this fat wad of cash he was carrying. He said he had to carry it around because his bank's really lame and wouldn't trade him non-buttery bills for buttery ones. 
He told me a trade secret, that I'm going to pass on to you. The sweet spot is the third house. The first two, the butter's like nice and cool and firm in your pocket, but it means you gotta find a knife to cut a pat off so people can taste test. But some people treat you really weird when you come up to their door and say that you need to borrow their knife so that you can sell them butter. The third house though, the butter's started to soften up, so you can just sort of scoop some out and let them lick it off your finger. People really like that. But for houses four and more, that gets a little tricky because the butter starts picking up like lint or money or whatever else you have in your pocket. 
My New Gig 
Ricky offered to get me a job working as a butter salesman, like him, and I took it. That's my big announcement. I'm leaving comics to go sell butter. Sorry! 
Don't tell Ricky this, but I also think I figured out a way to make even more in butter sales. I'm going to keep my butter pocket, my lint pocket, and my cash pocket separate. Like, duh. 
So next time you see me, tell me where your house is so I can come sell you some butter. 
Much love, David Butter Salesman 
P.S. DON'T READ THIS UNTIL APRIL 2ND April Fool's!
What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Anime), The Circle (Trash TV), When Harry Met Sally (Movie), Logan Lucky (Movie), my friend Chloe Brailsford gave me a sneak peek of something they've been working on and it's very good. Keep an eye out for more from her! I haven't played it yet, but I'm very excited for The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog. You may've seen that Min Ho Kim, one of our artists over at IDW, worked on the character art! It's clearly a labor of love by everyone involved and that's really cool. WonderCon was nice. Glad I got to see some folks I haven't seen in a while. I did catch con crud (and tested and came back negative for Covid, it's just a head cold), so if I missed you or we only had a pretty quick, limited interaction, maybe it's for the best! Speaking of both friends giving me comics and WonderCon, Matthew Palacios gave me an ashcan of his book Metal Skin and it was a lot of fun! I've also been playing a bunch of pranks over on my Twitter (2 whole pranks)! So, no, I still haven't seen ALF and I did not expect other people to send me pictures of my cat. Those were goofs. Lastly, yesterday was Transgender Day of Visibility. I posted a couple times about a fundraising effort that was going for Point of Pride and saw they ultimately ended up making twice their initial goal, $2 Million, to help out thousands of trans folks with gender-affirming care. There are also a ton of cool people who were sharing themselves yesterday in a time when that's a very scary thing to do. 
New Releases this week (3/29/2023): Nothing from me, sorry! 
New Releases next week (4/5/2023):  Sonic the Hedgehog #1 5th Anniversary Edition (Editor--A new version of the first IDW Sonic comic, with a bunch of bonus content including a new comic short!)
Final Order Cutoff - Let your shops know to order these books by Monday (4/3/2023):  Sonic the Hedgehog #60 (Editor) Godzilla Rivals: Biollante vs. Destoroyah (Editor)
Announcements:
At the moment, I don't have any new appearances until San Diego Comic-Con! But, that's subject to change! And I may have other announcements coming to this space soon, so keep an eye out! 
Oh, just because, uhh... I know we're all convinced Twitter's just going to collapse any day now. I've tried various other social medias and a lot of them don't really work for me. The best ways to keep up are obviously my website, my Tumblr, my newsletter, or my Instagram. I am still on a few other things, but don't really use them. If you're on Tumblr or Insta, please do follow me there so I can follow you back and make sure we're staying in touch! 
I will plug in my usual Becca corner, their website's up and should all be working. There was a bug with shipping, but that should be fixed! Maybe buy yourself or someone in your life something nice! And I believe they're still on for streaming tonight at 7 PST on Twitch, assuming voices are still holding up as we get over the last of this con crud! 
Pic of the Week: Major shoutout to KEM Cosplay! We met at WaifuExpo at the beginning of last month (you can see a picture of her in a previous blog as Dr. Eggman) and ran into each other again at WonderCon over the weekend where she was wearing her BIG THE CAT COSPLAY! 
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tyranno-solei-rex · 4 months ago
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babe are you okay you've hardly touched your Hawaiian shirt peanut butter and salami sandwich and your Weird Al chocolate milk
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one-time-i-dreamt · 2 years ago
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I was in the grocery store and I saw a big jar of peanut butter on sale for super cheap and I started crying out of joy.
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nopizzaaftermidnight · 5 months ago
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Pippin voice: "They come in pints?"
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wetslug · 18 days ago
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made a good ass mealprep lunch im kind of pumped to go to work tomorrow so i can eat it
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static-station · 2 years ago
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SP stick of truth is fun when you're like not 8 years old and self insert yourself
and bonus warmup to figure shit out
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radlyradar · 9 months ago
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Hey Hot Fuzz fans, wanna buy a keychain
I'm finally making that keychain I promised to do
Preorders now:
Link the Etsy
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(I may or may not give freebies)
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73ghosts · 23 days ago
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It's been almost a week since I moved into my apartment, and I haven't gotten myself a table and chair yet or unpacked my boxes because I had a roach infestation. I also haven't gone out and bought groceries, but a gaggle of drag queens gave me a 5lb bag of frozen French fries and ~100 toaster waffles, so I have been sitting awkwardly on the floor eating those with the tofu I got for obscenely cheap at the grocery store next door
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lonely--seeker · 7 months ago
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Really fighting for my life just to buy cat food
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sucktacular · 16 days ago
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While making spaghetti dinner I simultaneously prepped a batch of chocolate chip cookies and set it in the fridge to chill so later we can have cookies and I feel Accomplished hehe :3
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rohirric-hunter · 2 months ago
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clementiens · 4 months ago
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i've had to make a lot of adjustments after learning about my literal dozen food allergies and i've just been eating so much steak
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macabrity · 4 months ago
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Sardine sandwiches might save us
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agnesandhilda · 4 months ago
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there's just something demoralizing about being encouraged to sell customers things that we both know they don't need
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toytulini · 7 months ago
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i may not be able to open posts from my notes or messages or get more context on posts via looking at the notes, but at least i can make fucked up coffee properly now
#toy txt post#while i was away i began my journey into coffee snobbery. im doing my best. i have a lot to learn#i have a fancy hand grinder that all the ppl on reddit hemmedvand hawed andaid it would probably be somewhat#Acceptable for pour over coffee that I got for less than $100. i want you to understand the coffee grinder ppl are insane.#there are grinders for sale that cost like more than my car did brand new. these ppl are insane? i got a chemex pour over#and a glass stovetop gooseneck kettle cos i couldnt find an electric kettle that didnt have the metal touching the water. prolly cos it#would make them less energy efficient and defeat the purpose but i dont fuck w metal water vessels cos historically They Keep Betraying Me#by making my drinks taste like ass. i got some genetic fuckery going on ig. like the cilantro soap gene but its the metal makes water taste#like ass gene? idk. but i wanted a kettle that didnt have metal and i wanted that gooseneck pour so i found one on Amazon. surprisingly#hard to find? annoying. mostly bc every search engine is bad and kept showing me metal kettles anyway. i got a grinder i got a pour over i#got a kettle i got fancy beans from a local small business i started drinking it black. im going to unlock these flavors. i will get it#but also. im still a goblin. i put garlic powder in with the grounds and made garlic coffee. its interesting. it tastes like garlic. and#coffee. but actually the garlic is mostly an aftertaste?#so it feels very similar to drinking a cup of black coffee to accompany your garlic bread actually. the first time i made it i think it#underextracted the coffee tho. second time i extracted the coffee enough but i didnt like it as much? both times. fascinatingly#i did not get strong aromas! which was weird: i find both garlic and coffee have pretty strong scents already#i wouldve thought combining them would make it stronger? it was a little stronger while brewing the second time but smelled good to me#i find the flavor of it compelling enough that id like to try to refine it a bit more and see if i can make it good#ive come a long way since my first garlic coffee haha#(adding garlic salt to black coffee out of a keurig. dont reccomend this: garlic salt has too much salt and it overpowers everything.#could not get a garlic flavor without overpowering salt flavors. so it mostly tasted like seawater with a hint of coffee. garlic powder is#the way to go. anyway next i want to try it with a lighter roast. i was using medium roast#of a local brand that i would name for exposure but wont name lest it doxxes me haha#also want to try egg coffee sometimes? the vietnamese one. looks..intriguing. robusta beans scare me a little tho#anyway. if youre interested in interesting flavors i recc garlic coffee. it was intriguing. if i find a methodology i think tastes best#ill update yall#im also interested in other things. i want to experiment with spicy coffee. chili powder or cayenne#make the paprika dracula coffee haha#im also admittedly intrigued by butter coffee? as a flavor profile tho not for fad diet reasons.
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roadkill-dreaming · 6 months ago
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