#but.. no else understands either of them like the other!!

[prlssprfctn]

Damian wakes up, startled. He doesn't remember what he saw in his dreams, and he is not sure what caused him to feel so anxious, but he knows what to do. The routine is easy and comforting; he just needs to find his brother Jason. So, he goes.

His bare feet against the cold floor is soundless, making no sound, and he keeps rubbing his eyes until he sees one of the doors open. It must be Jason. He always keeps the door of his room open, just in case.

There is a dim light in the room, a small lamp on the desk, where the stakes of paper are stored, and Jason is here, as tall and huge as always, tapping on his feet in an attempt to concentrate, while twirling a pen between his fingers. He is either reading or working on something else: writes down memories, afraid of them slipping away due to the Lazarus Pit hammering in his temples all the time.

Damian yawns and steps closer, tapping on his back.

'Akhi Jason,' he calls hoarsely. The body freezes, almost surprised — he is not supposed to; Jason hears him from the corridor, even if he is the most soundless kid in the whole world. 'I want to sleep.'

He never says he sees nightmares or that he is scared — just that. It always works.

Expect, this time it doesn't.

'What did you say?' Brother asks, his voice sounding so unusually stiff.

'Jason,' he repeats, more irritated this time. 'I said, I want to—'

When Jason turns around, Damian instinctively staggers back, his eyes widening.

The man in front of him is not Jason.

And for a second, Damian is panicking, until-

Until he doesn't remind himself that he is not home anymore. He is in the Wayne Manor, with his father.

With his father that looks exactly like his brother, only older, without scars, marring his face, and without a white streak that makes him look like a bird.

'Damian,' his father calls, slightly shaken. 'How do you know Jason?'

He swallows down. He is not supposed to tell about his brother. They instructed him not to.

But father has a familiar desperation in his eyes, the same one Jason had, when he was pacing around the room, muttering something incoherent, the cut out from newsletters photos of Bruce Wayne with Tim Drake in his hands, and-

And Damian shrugs.

'He is my brother,' he says, almost too innocently; because if he is going to be clueless about it, then what others will have to tell him? 'He stayed with a grandfather. It is a shame.'

Almost as if he doesn't understand what all of this implies.

'I was sleepy,' he adds. 'And got confused. My apologises, father. I shall return to my bedroom.'

Bruce stares, stares, and stares. And then, rubs his face with his hands, exhausted.

'I'll tuck you in. Let's go,' and a second later, with his voice sounding so familiarly small, just like how Jason's sounded when he first acknowledged him as his brother, he adds: 'Can you tell me more about your brother, Damian?'

And Damian tells him, of course.

He is not surprised to see the result of his work the next week.

[verushkak70]

I understand what you're trying to do but in my experience it doesn't work

I've debunked literally hundreds of insane, factually & scientifically wrong crap a friend has been sending me off social media since the FIRST orange asshole campaign

It has not made a difference & I recently realized why (aside from, y'know, tens of thousands of Chinese & Russian social media bots gaming algorithms to inject false narratives into the mainstream to influence elections & democracy in multiple countries...)

It's because facts do not matter to him anymore

This is a belief system very much like religion - it might as well be religion

It is impervious to facts & science

Yet this is someone who I once considered highly intelligent & I still cannot understand how he's fallen for all of this except that, deep down, he must have either a hollow core, or a core of hate, that wants everyone else in the world to be as secretly miserable as he is (which I only know because I've known him for decades - since high school - casual observers would never say "this guy is miserable & self-loathing")

Objectively, on paper, he is intelligent or at least was intelligent & high scoring enough to get into Ivy League universities when we were graduating high school (he did not go to any tho; neither of us could afford such universities; we went to the state university that would take literally anyone, at the time, & from which you had to work at getting kicked out)

This was formerly a pro-choice, pro-porn, pro-drug guy who has drunk the Kool-aid - he's still pro-porn & pro-drug but suddenly in the past 2 years, as "throw it back to the states" became the propaganda on X (his favorite social media, ugh), he started saying it should be thrown back to the states

This from a guy who used to say - in his 20s, 30s, 40s - that abortion should be available on demand at drive thrus (which was hyperbole ofc; obvs you can't get one at an actual drive thru; it was the concept of fast & easy access he was championing)

As these right wing evangelical positions have trended on X, they have come up in his speech the past couple of years (really the past decade, but it accelerated like the speed of light once he moved from FB to the post-Musk Twitter/X)

Because I've known him for so long, I've been able to say, "Huh, you never used to say/believe that over the last 40 years... Why the change, & why now?"

& even that does not get him to realize his opinions are being deliberately shaped by propaganda

He will deny it or say "well I always kind of thought that way" & when I say "dude, you've never been shy of sharing your opinions, whether people wanted to hear them or not, especially if not! so why haven't you mentioned this change of opinion until after X became your main source of 'news'?"

That gets evasions & subject changes because the idea that he didn't come up with these ideas on his own is unacceptable

He will share literally fake news from X & when I ask, "OK, I get that you don't trust mainstream media, with good reason; or the government, with good reason; or the medical/scientific establishment, not without good reason; but you'll just believe anything some clown you don't know on the Internet - who could be anywhere in the world despite his "US Navy Vet" trucker hat - says, without question?"

& his response is always subject changes & attacks on mainstream media/government/politicians/parties but never an answer to the actual question because there is no rational explanation & he knows it

& if I call him on the subject changes, he just ratchets up the subject changes & attack rhetoric as if I'm one of those easily offended wilting liberal flowers he can steamroll, which I'm not & never have been, so it's interesting (if sad) that he thinks what works on other people will work on me

Or maybe he just doubles down because there IS no rational explanation, idk

This is seriously depressing me because this guy was my BFF for like the first 30 of our 40 year friendship - my older sisters would call him "our adopted little brother" - & I don't recognize him anymore

The only reason I continue to talk to him, really, is my oldest sister, who passed away a year ago in February, & was a big activist & organizer/coordinator of various (large) protests here, said "don't give up on him, don't fight or argue - just keep listening & questioning" because "he's a good egg"

& honestly he is, underneath all the sourball curmudgeon thorny exterior - the man has never not been there when I needed him & lots & lots of times when I didn't, just for fun

But this is becoming exhausting & I'm stressed out from not literally screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHERE IS MY FRIEND, YOU CRAZY POD PERSON WHO TOOK HIS PLACE??"

I'm sorry - I'm just venting, I guess

But please tell me how someone can maintain the cognitive dissonance of a high index of suspicion for the mainstream media, the government, & medicine/science, but not some Joe Blow clown on the Internet - as if somehow that guy (who's probably actually a Chinese or Russian bot) is telling the gospel truth & has a hidden mainline to the secrets of the universe

Because I can't understand it

I can understand it in people who've not had the privilege of university education (my friend has)

or international travel (my friend has, multiple times, with me & others)

or who never left the neighborhood or town where they grew up (my friend did as soon as he could)

I cannot understand it in my formerly skeptical & always shrewd friend

I honestly do not get it 😞

So many people do not understand the relationship between climate change and cold weather.

[sofiatarot]

What legacy will I leave in my career and in the world? PAC READING

Let’s explore how your art influences the world. I believe everything can be art in its potential and essence—whether it's something literal, like an artistic creation, or any career or path you’ve chosen. Your life is your art, and you are the artist.

We’ll look at how your career affects the world, either directly or indirectly.

1-2

3-4 Leave a tip ✨️

Little note: I’m aware of the old belief that only "famous" or public figures can leave a mark or create a before-and-after impact. But let me clarify: we are all here for a reason. Each of us contributes to either the improvement or decline of the world. We all hold the same level of importance and impact on a soul/spirit level. Everything else is just appearances.

Please always remember that what you do matters, and by following your passion, you are energetically helping and contributing to the world. We are all responsible for creating a new world��heaven on Earth.

Group 1:

Your legacy will be one of resilience, strategy, and transformation. You’re someone who has faced challenges with cleverness and a sharp mind, using your struggles as opportunities to rise above. The impact you leave on the world will stem from your ability to outmaneuver obstacles and show others how to adapt in difficult situations.

You are a visionary, someone who turns ideas into action. Your career will reflect bold, strategic moves that inspire others to take charge of their own destiny. The world will remember you as someone who took calculated risks and proved that intelligence and creativity can overcome even the harshest circumstances.

Your work is deeply rooted in truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. The heartbreaks and setbacks you’ve endured have only strengthened your determination to create something meaningful. While others may have faltered, you’ve used those experiences to fuel your purpose, teaching others to find strength in their vulnerability.

You are a leader who balances charisma with grounded wisdom. People are drawn to your confidence and warmth, and you’ll leave a legacy of empowerment, especially for those who felt unseen or undervalued. Your career will inspire others to embrace their unique qualities and step into their own light.

However, the journey hasn’t been without its sacrifices. You’ve faced periods of disconnection, where collaboration felt more like a burden than a joy. Yet these moments have taught you how to stand firm in your vision, reminding others that independence and collaboration can coexist.

Your legacy will also involve bridging gaps and building foundations. Whether through literal structures or metaphorical ones, your career will leave behind a sense of stability and progress. You’ve taught the world that true success requires both careful planning and the courage to act.

Your emotional depth is one of your greatest strengths, but it hasn’t always been easy to manage. At times, your passion has felt overwhelming or misdirected, but your willingness to face these emotions head-on has turned them into powerful tools of expression and connection.

You will be remembered as someone who brought people together, even when the odds seemed impossible. Your work will foster unity and understanding, teaching the importance of collaboration and shared vision.

Ultimately, your legacy will shine as a testament to resilience, transformation, and the power of a determined spirit. You’ve proven that even in the face of adversity, it’s possible to create something lasting and profound.

Group 2:

Your legacy is one of hope, healing, and the reclamation of power. You have walked through darkness and emerged stronger, and the world will remember you as a beacon for those who feel lost or defeated.

You’re a bridge between the past and the future. Your career is rooted in nostalgia and the lessons of history, yet it also pushes boundaries and redefines what is possible. This duality makes your work timeless, resonating across generations.

Your creative spark is undeniable, and your passion for growth and learning inspires others to take chances and embrace new opportunities. Even in moments of doubt, you’ve persevered, proving that beginnings and endings are all part of the same journey.

At times, your career has been shaped by power struggles and moments of uncertainty. These challenges have taught you the value of integrity and humility. You’ve learned that true authority comes from within, and your ability to rise above external pressures will leave an indelible mark.

Your legacy will include breaking societal norms and redefining success. You’re not afraid to challenge expectations, and your work reflects a balance between personal freedom and responsibility. This fearless approach will inspire others to embrace their individuality.

Your ability to adapt and rebuild will be a central theme in your career. Even when faced with failure or setbacks, you’ve found ways to pivot and keep moving forward. This resilience will show others that no situation is ever truly final.

You have a magnetic presence that draws people to you, but it hasn’t always been easy to manage. At times, your charisma has been misunderstood or underestimated, yet it’s precisely this complexity that makes your work so impactful.

You will leave behind a legacy of liberation—helping others free themselves from limiting beliefs and societal expectations. Your career will serve as a roadmap for anyone seeking to reclaim their power and redefine their identity.

Ultimately, your work will be remembered as a source of light in dark times, proving that healing and transformation are possible no matter the circumstances.

Group 3

Your legacy will be one of introspection, wisdom, and quiet power. You are a seeker of truth, someone who has delved deeply into life’s mysteries and emerged with profound insights. The world will remember you as a guide for those navigating their own paths.

Your career is marked by cycles of growth and reflection. You’ve embraced change as a necessary part of life, showing others that even setbacks can lead to new opportunities. This perspective will inspire many to keep moving forward, no matter the obstacles.

Creativity is at the heart of your legacy, but it hasn’t always been straightforward. You’ve faced blocks and moments of doubt, yet these experiences have only deepened your understanding of what it means to create authentically.

Your work challenges conventional ideas and explores themes that others might shy away from. You’re unafraid to confront the shadows, using your career as a platform to shed light on the hidden or misunderstood aspects of life.

You have a unique ability to balance intuition with logic, blending emotional depth with intellectual rigor. This combination makes your work both deeply personal and universally relevant, touching hearts and minds alike.

Your legacy will include breaking down barriers—whether cultural, emotional, or intellectual. You’ve shown that vulnerability and strength can coexist, and this message will resonate long after your career has ended.

At times, your path has been solitary, but this solitude has only strengthened your connection to your inner wisdom. You’ve used these moments to create work that is deeply meaningful, offering guidance to those who feel lost or disconnected.

You will be remembered as someone who brought clarity to confusion and hope to despair. Your work will serve as a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is always a way forward.

Ultimately, your legacy is one of transformation and enlightenment, leaving a lasting impact on those who encounter your work.

Group 4

Your legacy is one of empowerment, discipline, and mastery. You are a force to be reckoned with, and the world will remember you as someone who harnessed their power to create lasting change.

Your career is built on hard work and dedication. You’ve shown that success doesn’t come overnight but is the result of consistent effort and unwavering commitment. This message will inspire generations to pursue their dreams with determination.

You are a natural leader, someone who isn’t afraid to take charge and make tough decisions. Your work reflects this strength, and others will look to you as a model of confidence and capability.

Your ability to balance ambition with compassion is one of your greatest strengths. You’ve taught the world that success isn’t just about individual achievement but also about lifting others along the way.

At times, you’ve faced temptations or distractions, yet your ability to stay focused and disciplined has set you apart. This resilience will leave a lasting impression, showing others the importance of staying true to their goals.

Your career will include moments of collaboration and celebration, where your ability to bring people together shines. You’ll be remembered for creating spaces of joy and unity, teaching others the value of community and shared success.

You are deeply intuitive, even when you don’t always trust yourself. Over time, you’ve learned to listen to your inner voice, and this wisdom will guide others to do the same.

Your work challenges societal norms, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible and encouraging others to think outside the box. You’ll leave a legacy of innovation and progress, paving the way for future generations.

Ultimately, your legacy will be one of empowerment and transformation, proving that with focus, discipline, and heart, anything is possible. You’ve shown the world the power of perseverance and the beauty of a life lived with purpose.

xoxo🦋

[impactrueno]

I feel like sometimes people project a bit of 'fatherliness' onto cartoon bj (due to the difference in age + close friendship between him & lydia?) which is honestly not present in his character. Like, sure, he wants to keep lydia safe, but he's immature and selfish ... hes beetlejuice.... we have nothing but evidence of how little he thinks about other people's feelings

oh my god i'm so glad i'm not the only one who noticed HAHA

he's very intentionally written as lydia's equal, never an authority or parental figure who's responsible for her. frankly i would argue it's the other way around lmao. that's part of the humor in a lot of situations they've been in (like when he had to go back to kindergarten and she acted as his guardian 😭)

i think the only time beetlejuice has ever displayed anything remotely close to fatherliness was when doomie fell in love with the mayor's pink car and BJ became doomie's grumpy and controlling dad, and only because it was part of the joke.

people often assign these traits to characters after they've slapped the "familial" label onto whatever friendships the character may have. this is why i don't vibe with familial interpretations of their relationship either. it's just...not them! beetlejuice sees lydia as lydia, not a niece, and vice versa. their bond has never been about being found family, it's about two lonely souls finally finding someone who understands them, and nobody else gets them like they do each other. birds of a feather. partners in grime. best friends who are equals. familial bonds are not. you CAN be best friends with your brother, but that's you being best friends with him BESIDES him just being your brother, and not because he's your brother. am i making sense?

the only reason beetlejuice might come off as having any authority over her is because he's sort of like her guide to the neitherworld. but you wouldn't call the cheshire cat an uncle to alice, would you?

and finally, the fact that lydia is the one who holds power over him by being able to summon or get rid of him at will. genie type shit. this just can't be familial, imo.

i've rambled enough and i don't want to ruin people's fun because i'm aware them being family-like is important to some people, but i just needed to share how i personally feel about it lol no one ever talks about this

[wholoveseggs]

I am currently dealing with my mother being in end care hospice for Alzheimer’s, dreading every time my phone makes a noise because it could be the worst news. I am spending my time either sobbing or a complete zombie with a barely functional brain. (I put a spray bottle in the freezer instead of the drink I was chilling). I live alone and have no close friends or family near me and I just wish I had an Elijah to hold me. I just wish I could lay on top of him in bed, him holding me and petting my hair while I cry.

I totally understand if this is not something you’re comfortable writing, but if you are, I’d really appreciate it. If nothing else, I thank you for reading my message.

Anchor

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Elijah Mikaelson x Reader} Grief threatens to overwhelm you, but Elijah's calming presence becomes your anchor, reminding you that even in your darkest hours, you are not alone.

♡♡ I love you, anon, and I’m so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this. My heart aches for you, and I hope that this fic can offer you even the smallest moment of comfort. You are not alone, and I’m sending you so much love and strength~ ♡♡

672 words - Warnings: angst, grief, comfort & cuddles

When you are a child, your parents are this big, strong figure. They seem invincible and all-knowing. But then you grow up. And one day, you realize that your parents aren't superman. They aren't invincible and they certainly aren't infallible. Your parents, the same people who were your entire world as a kid, are suddenly human. And sometimes, humans get sick.

Everyone reacts differently, and there's no right or wrong way to feel. There's no road map or set of instructions on how to mourn. You can be angry, or sad, or numb, or all three at the same time. It's a roller coaster, a freefall, and you never know when the next wave of emotions will hit. It's okay to feel what you feel. It's okay to want to hide. And it's also okay to want to be with someone, to have someone to lean on.

You can't change the fact that your parents got sick, and you can't change the outcome. The limbo of losing them while they are still alive is a terrible feeling, like an emotional purgatory. All you can do is focus on yourself, and remember that the pain will pass, eventually.

It was one of those nights when the weight of the world felt unbearable, crushing your chest and making it hard to breathe. You sat curled up on your couch, terrified to look at your phone, waiting for a call you dreaded yet knew was inevitable.

You didn’t notice Elijah’s presence at first. It wasn’t unusual for him to move like a shadow, quiet and gentle, especially when he knew you were hurting. He stood in the doorway for a moment, his dark eyes full of concern, before approaching you with the kind of care only he could manage.

"My love," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. He knelt in front of you, resting his hand on your knee. "You needn't face this alone."

His words broke something inside you. The dam of composure you tried so desperately to maintain crumbled, and the tears you’d been holding back poured out in waves. Elijah didn’t hesitate. He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as your sobs wracked your body.

He carried you to your bed, sitting with his back against the headboard and coaxing you to lay on top of him. His arms wrapped securely around you, one hand rubbing slow, soothing circles on your back while the other ran through your hair with a tenderness that brought fresh tears to your eyes.

"You’re allowed to grieve," he murmured against your temple. "You’re allowed to feel lost, to feel overwhelmed. But know that I am here. You do not have to carry this burden on your own."

You clung to him like a lifeline, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as though letting go would send you spiraling into the abyss.

"I feel like I’m breaking, Elijah," you choked out. "I don’t know how to do this."

He kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment. "You don’t have to be okay right now. You’re enduring something no one should have to endure alone. But you are stronger than you realize, and I will hold you through every moment of doubt and despair."

His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket, and though the pain didn’t vanish, the sharp edges dulled ever so slightly. His steady heartbeat beneath your ear became an anchor, a reminder that even in your darkest hours, you had someone who cared deeply for you.

As your breathing evened out and the tears subsided, Elijah continued to stroke your hair, whispering soft reassurances. His presence didn’t fix everything. It couldn’t. But it made the unbearable seem just a little more manageable.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you closed your eyes and let yourself rest, knowing that Elijah would be there, steadfast and unyielding, for as long as you needed him.

[mafuyussweater]

[Now I'm thinking about that first year that Shen Qingqiu is dead and how Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge may have reacted to that....]

That day Luo Binghe felt too emotionally raw to put in any effort to do much of anything. He barely wanted to exist. So instead, he drank, heavily. Everything felt too real. It was just too painful. So when Liu Qingge comes storming in (secretly wanting to unleash some of the heavier emotions he is feeling by fighting Luo Binghe) he lands a blow on him and realizes very quickly something is off. It doesn't take long for the stench of alcohol to reach his nose and he can't help but grimace at the smell.

"What do you want Liu Shishu?" Luo Binghe slurred from his spot on the floor. He couldn't be bothered to get back up. Instead he reached into his sleeves and pulled out another jar of alcohol and took a swig, uncaring at how some spilled down his neck and onto his robes.

"What the hell are you doing brat?" Liu Qingge strode forward reaching out to grab the jar out of his hands. He was clearly way too intoxicated. Seeing his Shishu advancing towards him looking pissed caused Luo Binghe to instinctively roll out of the way which was neither elegant nor effective in escape. Instead they both found themselves tangled up in each other while covered in the harsh smell of liquor.

Liu Qingge was beginning to regret coming here today but he just couldn't stomach ever giving up. He let out a harsh sigh and bolted up to his feet. Not bothering to look down he picked at his now wet robes and bit out, "Ugh, now look what you did beast!"

*hiccup*

Risking a glance back at his rival on the floor, he was shocked to see the man curled into himself sobbing quietly on the floor. Well.. he was necessarily 'quietly sobbing' it's just that it looked like he was trying very hard to shove the sobs back in.

Liu Qingge really did not do well with people crying so he tried to slowly back out of the room knowing that he wouldn't have an admirable fight today. But as soon as he back up no more than a few steps, Luo Binghe with his super demon hearing snapped his head up at him and just... broke down into a full on mental breakdown ugly crying mess. Pathetically he crawled on the floor until his arms wrapped around Liu Qingge's ankles, forcing him to either kick the man while he was down, or just pray for it to be over soon. And so he prayed.

"L-Liu Sh-Shi-Shishu", he was trying to hard to just breathe. "Plea-p-please.. I-" Luo Binghe took in a shaky breath, "I just miss him so much!", he finally cried out.

Luo Binghe's whole body shook as he tightened like an anchor around his legs but it was as if the rest of him was made of paper, he crumpled further into himself. All the walls he had built between them over the years simply dissolved.

He probably wouldn't remember this in the morning but maybe they could have this. Just one day where they were simply two people who lost someone they loved more than anyone else could ever understand. And they could just be there together and remember how much the man they both loved meant to them.

With an exasperated sigh, Liu Qingge bent down and like he had seen his Shixiong do, he patted Luo Binghe on the head and said, "if you are going to act like this, at least get me drunk first."

Just today he told himself, only because it was today would he let his guard down too.

I think people are way too normal about the way Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe were acting during the five years that SQQ were dead. Like when I was reading I saw that shit and went "wow that is enemies to lovers behavior right there" and then proceeded to never see it in the fandom.

Come on guys, the homoerotic sword fights are right there! The fact that after years everyone except them had given up on SQQ! The drama of your enemy being the only one who understands the deep love you have for this man, of feeling like you're the only two people in the world who still care, of getting what the other person is going through but also hating them for what they are doing to you. Both of you having very different ideas of what it means to love someone, but at least you can respect each other for trying.

Despite everything, Yue Qingyuan never canonically tried to go get SQQs body. Maybe this was because he wanted to avoid a war, maybe because something just felt off, like it wasn't his Xiao Jiu anymore. There is also no evidence that any other peak lords went to Huan Hua, besides Mu Qingfang, who was literally kidnapped. It was just Liu Qingge, fighting for SQQ every day.

There has to be some kind of bond that forms, having fought each other for so long. Some kind of understanding. Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe probably saw each other at their worsts, when Liu Qingge came crawling back with so many half healed wounds and broken bones, but still determined to fight. When Luo Binghe was so exhausted by his Qi transfers, running Huan Hua, trying to find a way to save his Shizun.

What did it look like on the anniversary of Shen Qingqiu's death? How did they mourn?

And what about the angst factor of falling in love with someone while the man you love is still dead and gone? And feeling something for the person who stole him from you? The guilt, the agony?

Anyways, I'm just surprised I haven't seen more BingLiuShen where the BingLiu started brewing during those five years. There's no way I could fight a man for five years, always spare his life/be spared, and NOT feel something. Even if it's not romantic,,,

Consider, years after the end of the novel. BingQiu are together, living their best life. But even years later, on the anniversary of Shen Qingqiu's death...

A demon emperor lands on Bai Zhan Peak. And the War God is waiting for him, sword drawn.

[bokettochild]

What is Legend’s and post-totk Wild’s relationship like? Does it change or is it the same?

Honestly, I keep trying to write an answer but all I have are inexplicable vibes.

It would change. Legend's the same as he was but Wild's grown up. Wild would be either 22 or 23 by the time TotK is over (in game we're told it's been 5 years since BotW) meanwhile Legend is still, at best, 17, but likely 16.

That's a 6-7 year age gap where before they were either the same age or very close.

Legend's still got his experience, but now Wild has the context of years, of knowing what normal looks like. Post BotW Wild has no concept of normal or peace, but post TotK Wild would have spent 5 years just existing and doing People Things. He knows what normal kids are like now. He's a teacher. He's a leader. He's an adult, even if he's still a young one. But he's got that frame of reference that Legend never has had of what life looks like after the adventure, but now also with the understanding that legend does have of the fact that heroes' can be ripped away any time, life uprooted to save the world again at any moment.

Wild has life experience that Legend can't fathom. Wild knows what growing up is like. Wild knows what peace looks like now.

Legend doesn't even know what the word "retirement" means, much less "stop" or "peace". He's used to having only enough time to heal between adventures before heading out again, if that!

I think Wild would come back, thinking he could slip back in, just to realize he can't see his brothers the same anymore. I won't dig in too deep, since you just asked about him and Legend, but for the vet I think he'd just get shocked at how young his brother really is, by how screwed up Legend's outlook on life is, and I think he'd be floundering because the guy he used to look to as a veteran, an expert and a role model, is actually just a teenager with too much responsibility on his shoulders.

I don't think he'd know what to do with that, because that's still his brother, but Legend's no longer his BIG brother, or at least not his peer. Legend's younger than him now, and much as he tries to see the vet the same way he used to, he'd just keep realizing how screwed up everything about Legend really is.

Meanwhile Legend, Mister Abandonment-Issues, would be over here struggling with the feeling of being left behind and out of the know and suddenly feeling small around a hero who used to make him feel so big. Wild's an adult now, but he's not supposed to be. Wild's matured now (but still Wild) and he's not sure what to do with that. Wild is wiser now, knows things, isn't charging in without thought anymore, and Legend has to adjust his whole perception all while wondering if this is even the same guy. All while trying his hardest not to let on that he feels that way because you bet your BUTT this kid has gotten enough grief over the years for not being the same kid people used to know that he has no wish to make anyone else feel that.

Like, adventures change you, a LOT. Legend's had a lot of adventures, ergo; he's changed a ton over the years and it definitely throws off everyone who knows him every single time. it's not his first rodeo, but it is the first time he's not been the one riding the bull that is change.

I think they'd both struggle a lot with this. I think there'd be a lot of frustration and fear on Legend's side and a lot of shock and confusion on Wild's. I think both would grieve, and I know Legend wouldn't be the one to know how to fix it.

Legend fixes problems, but the thing that sets him apart from the rest of the heroes is that he's never had time between adventures to actually process and learn healthy coping mechanisms or ways to express himself. Kid knows how to fix other people's shit, but never his own.

Wild would have to be the one to cross the divide between them, and as the older brother now, I think that would just make it all the weirder for both of them.

Anyways, congrats, I had enough brainrot about this that I wrote a dang fic and then sobbed for a good ten minutes in a public coffee shop T-T

Thanks for the ask!

[thefcguy]

Miraculous Main Character Ranking

Just like how I ranked the designs of superheroes for Miraculous Ladybug... now, I will be ranking the characters as a whole. Although design will be a small factor in some of this cases... it mostly has to do with the characters themselves this time. How enjoyable I think they are based on the show, its writting, the circumstances they have been put through, their purposes and, most importantly, my personal opinion.

Also, although i will be ranking this characters, I would like to say, before you guys read the ranking, that I don't actually hate any character here.

They are mostly victims of bad writting from Thomas Astruc, his team, and their lack of understanding on how teams interact with each other, and what interactions are okay and others not.

That's why I feel sympathy towards all of them. But, I understand if you don't.

These are characters from a show made for kid. Please, be respectful with my opinions, and I will be respectful with yours.

Also, if you are either a Marinette , Adrien, Felix or Chloe stan... please, don't look at my ranking, okay?

So, with nothing else to add... Let's begin!

(I hope I don't get destroyed for my opinions).

21- Socqueline Wang

... Can someone please explain me WHY she exists?

Socqueline is one of the characters that miraculous introduces later on for a specific reason, and then doesn't get used later.

However, out of all of these characters... Socqueline is the worst.

Although the idea of Marinette having a friend before Alya, but then moved away/got transferred is interesting, but they add her on SEASON 5!

She and Marinette were supposedly best buddies, and Socqueline was always there to "protect her from the irredeemable monster Chloe bwahhaaa", and yet, she doesn't visit Marinette ONCE in a period of 4 seasons?! Not a photo, not a mention... anything.

The worst part is how they try to make us fans believe that "she has always been here", like in episodes such as "Perfection" when she is added to the group of Kagami's friends.

But, besides "Jubilation" and even worse "Derision" her character has no purpose or impact to the story.

Marinette already has a group of female friends (Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylene, Alix, Kagami, Zoe, and probably Sabrina on season 6) with badly developed relationships. Do we need one more girl on this mess?

I UNDERSTAND that she is supposed to be a reference to PV!Marinette, that Bridgette was just a name we, the fandom, gave her, and it was supposed to be fan-service, but... the way they made it makes no sense.

Socqueline could have been deleted from season 5 and it wouldn't have changed a thing.

A famous miraculous brazillian youtuber actually had an idea for the purpose the Socqueline could have had in season 5.

His idea (which I also enjoy) is that she, instead of Alya, should have been the one to use Tikki in the "Kwami's Choice" special.

Hawk Moth had already found out that she wasn't Ladybug in "Jubilation", she had no previous connections to Ladybug, and had the desire to be a hero.

This way, hero's choice could also expand on her as a character, explain why she hasn't spoken to Marinette in so long, her own fears and wished for the future...

And maybe... just MAYBE getting a crush on Kitty Noir as the new Ladybug, and, meeting Zoe later after losing the earrings, and getting attracted to her due to reasons she can't explain.

But no, she has the charisma and the importance of a cardboard. I am 75% sure that she will be forgotten in Season 6, and might be "replaced" by Sublime. Who knows.

As for her design... I feel like they did a good job in showing that Socqueline is PV!Marinete, while also making her unique enough in a way.

20- Felix Fathom

Although Socqueline is the most pointless... Felix is the worst character, definetely.

On his first episode, he lies, steals his cousin's phone, tries to ruin his friendship, tries to force Ladybug into kissing him, tries to make a deal with Hawkmoth, and steal's Gabriel's wedding ring... not a good start, right?

The episode's explanation, according to what some character's say, is that he is going through a rough phase because he hasn't been processing his father's death well, and that without his father's authority, he has been "out of control".

This will be important further on.

On his second episode, he is obsessed with finding Hawk Moth's identity, seeing it as a way to get what he wants. Then, again, he gives a wicked smile after he feels like he is winning.

On his third appearence, he uses Gabriel's wedding ring to CONTROL his cousin to agree with his plan, pretends to be Adrien, gets the Dog Miraculous, and uses it to give all the miraculous on the box to Gabriel...

Then, Season 5 arrives, and Felix erases the population of Earth, becomes an almost yandere for Kagami, and becomes a "good boy" because he is just misunderstood and Kagami's love fixed him. There is also the plot of his activism for Sentimonsters...

Do I need to explain myself on why I hate this character?

From the moment he appeared on screen, he has done nothing but caused chaos. And his cause of helping sentimonsters? Pretty hypocrite, considering how he controlled Adrien in "Risk", and tried to ruin his friendships in "Felix".

He is not a confused anti-hero with a noble cause in need of guidence... he is straight up a resentful villain who is unleashing his frustrations on others.

And all the chaos he caused is suddenly forgiven because of his redemption and his abusive father?

Also... where does this Abusive father came from? His debut implied that Colt's death was what bittered Felix's heart. And that he was the one to keep Felix in control.

It either means that the crew thinks that Colt's abusive behavior was good because it keep Felix in line, or that they came up with that last moment to give him a redemption.

I will be going with the latter, because, oh GOSH, the writers put all their effort into redeeming Felix this season.

This boy over here has committed crimes and the show pet him on the head. Meanwhile, school bullies get sent to live with their abusive parent.

His design is great. He is supposed to look just like Adrien, and he clearly looks more formal.

19- Lila Rossi

Lila is... a lot like Felix, actually. She is bitter, manipulative, and always want to have the upper hand.

However, unlike Felix, that the show refuses to portray as a villain, the show actually knows that Lila is bad.

Still... they literally had no idea of what to do with her and went of the rails with her "arc".

When 'Volpina" aired, Lila was just a liar who wanted popularity and came up with the weirdest stories possible to make herself look better.

The class was infatuated by her, which, made sense considering she was new and all.

Then, the whole Ladybug fiasco happened and she became Volpina. Then, on the end of the episode, the writers hinted at Lila returning eventually and becoming a bigger threat...

And she disappears... for a whole season to be precise.

I remember how the fandom was excited to see Lila in action on season 2. Since many were expecting Chloe to be redeemed (since we had no idea how the Queen bee arc would play like), many started to assume that Lila would be the one causing akumas this season.

Which, would have been interesting! We were so used to the formula of Chloe bullying other until they turned into supervillains, that it would be interesting seeing how Lila would operate.

But, she disappeared and only returned when she was needed on Heroes Day.

Then, season 3 arrived, and boy, things got bad quickly.

The class still adores her (to an unnatural degree, tbh), she gets away with all of her stunts, ruins Marinette's reputation, gets Kagami akumatized and makes a deal with Gabriel.

Lila's plot armor this season is WILD. She brags about everything she does, there is proof that she was a part of Heroes Day instead of travelling as she stated (the illusion, and, even if people assumed there was another akuma with this power, considering the event was televisioned, she must have appeared at least one), and she, a teenage girl, impresses Hawk Moth to the point of him wanting her as an ally...

And she never faces the consequences of her actions. Except Onichan.

Then, after all the chaos she caused in season 3... she is benched on season 4, only to return with an even stronger plot armor in the season finale.

Alya somehow believes on her, even is she knows Ladybug's identity and who the real best friend is; and Lila managed to make an alliance with Chloe. WITH CHLOE.

Chloe, the girl who couldn't stand Marinette or Kagami 5 centimeters near Adrien. This Chloe, who probably saw Lila flirting with Adrien already at least once, makes an alliance with her.

The explanation? Chloe can't remember Lila from how "irrevalant" she is.

... do you guys get what I am saying? She has insane levels of plot armor!

Season 5 is when the writers literally gave up on keeping her consistent.

Now, she is an unstable girl cutting photos with Marinette's face, getting Kagami (one of the few people that disliked her) on her side, puts a teenage girl on the position of a mayor, and, am I forgetting something... oh yeah! She is literally crazy, may not even be a teenage girl, and has multiple identities and mothers...

This character makes no sense, her escalation into a supervillain comes out of nowhere, and, the moments we EXPECT her to be a villain, she isn't, and only appears way later.

Considering how much the plot protects her, I don't doubt that it will take at least 6 more seasons to defeat her.

Lila's design in general is okay with the exception of the hair... what's up with her hair? Like, she has 3 "ponytails". Does anyone actually use this hair and I just don't know it?

18- Chloe Bourgeois

Behold, the most incosistent character on this whole show.

I like to say that "Chloe" is not a character. It's a title giving to many identical looking characters that swap places depending on what the plot explains.

The First Chloe is season 1 Chloe, who is your typical mean girl. She bullies other students, is superficial... but, she is mostly a harmless thing. She is just mean, and the akumas all go after her on the end of the episode.

The Second Chloe is the Chloe of episode "Malekdiktator". This Chloe is a sensitive and fragile. She just feels lonely and purposeless.

The Third Chloe is the sassy anti-hero Chloe. She helps Ladybug and Chat Noir as Queen Bee, and can act kindly from time to time. But, she will still be occasionally mean and insult your clothing.

The Fourth Chloe is season 4 Chloe, who is like the first Chloe, but instead of having some depth and realism to her... she is now just pure evil. She trapped Sabrina in her closet and treats Andre like a slave.

The Fifth Chloe is season 5!Chloe, who is a heartless monster that becomes a dictator as soon as she can, becomes Hawk Moth's ally, and incriminates others to get her way.

The writing keeps changing Chloe to what they need her to be. There is no progressive transition or any signs of an arc.

She is a plot point which the writers will never let go.

As for her design... it's pretty iconic, not gonna lie.

17- Kagami Tsurugi

Man, it hurts me putting Kagami this low on the list... but the writers ruined her character.

When Kagami was introduced, she wasn't much different from the majority of the secondary cast.

All we knew is that she came from a strict family and that she was a perfectionist. She is very hard on herself, and wants to make her mother proud.

But as time progressed, the show showed how fierce and determined she could be and that even people like Lila and Chloe could get in the way of the things she wanted (Sadly, most of the time, her goal is Adrien, not a prizer or anything).

Then, Ikari Gozen happened, and we finally saw a new side of Kagami. How lonely she felt, how awkward she could be out of her comfort zone, and that, although she had her issues with Marinette, she wanted to have her as a friend.

On Season 4, she stays mostly the same, although, I feel even more sympathy towards her because Adrien was such a bad boyfriend to her.

(Seriously, Adrien dating Kagami while still having feelings for Ladybug, and Marinette dating Luka while still having feeling for Adrien was a mess that the show never acknowledged).

Season 5, however... things go downhill for her.

Before, she used to be one of the few people to not fall for Lila's, due to her intelligence and strategic thinking. But, now, she is one of Lila's MAIN puppets for the season.

But the worst is probably the relationship with Felix.

Kagami, GIRL, that boy gave the most powerful artifacts in the universe to a Terrorist. He erased human life from the face of the planet. It's not because he saved you from his mother that it makes him a good person deep down!

Man, Kagami was such a confident queen in the past, who knew who to trust... and they turned her into this mess during season 5.

If I was to rank Season 3-4 Kagami, she would be way higher on the list.

But Feligami destroyed her reputation.

I have a few issues with her design. The hair looks weird, and... the damn uniform. A lot of people comment on how her uniform is because of japanese steryotypes and I hate it.

16- Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Okay, before starting my explanation, I would like to disclaim a few things first.

Marinette as character, seems to be constantly having a hard time.

She has the most powerful miraculous, Chat Noir indeed doesn't treat things as seriously as he should, she becomes the guardian way younger than she should, and she has to carry a lot of weight for a girl her age.

Just like we saw in Steven from Steven Universe, this kind of responsibility indeed can lead to an unstable mental health.

And there is also the fact that Marinette only acts the way she does, because Miraculous a whole isn't good at executing ideas.

BUT, even with all of this... it is still very hard to defend her actions.

At season 1, at least, she was mostly just a fangirl. She didn't have the healthies behavior around Adrien, but, she still had salvation. And let's not forget that she was punished (at least, to some degree) by the narrative when she did something wrong (like in "Bubbler", when Tikki reprehends the way she used the Lucky Charm to stop Chloe from kissing Adrien, or when her reckless behavior as Ladybug led to Lila's akumatization on "Volpina).

Season 2 Marinette starts to do some questionable things, like leading Luka on, and keeping Chat Noir in the dark about the Guardian. Although, to be fair, she only kept secrets from Chat Noir because of Fu. She should have insisted more, but, it's not the worst she has done.

Then, on Season 3, Marinette goes off the rails. We have Animaestro, where she joins forces with Chloe to break Kagami, and Adrien, becomes overly paranoid with the Lila situation to the point of being obsessive with proving she is a liar. There is the Wax museum scene...

Season 4 Marinette is where I am torn about. In one hand, yes, she leaves the 4 kids she was supposed to be babysitting with her grandfather to be with Adrien, keeps a lot of info from Chat Noir, makes a whole plan to invade a party at Adrien's house, gives Adrien a miraculous although it already failed, and her whole relationship with Luka.

But, on the other hand... the girl is having the worst time of her life. She is guarding a bunch of small gods as a teenage girl, can't trust anyone, has no mentor to help her figure things out or to vent too, and needs to keep "Chat Blanc" a secret so that Chat Noir doesn't get akumatized. And Hawk Moth fixed the Peacock and he is a more dangerous threat (well, in-universe, that is).

And there was some logic as to why she chose "Adrien" to wield the Dog in "Strikeback". He had no mark, she was under Risk's influence and so on... (the part where she says that Flaimidable is an official part of the team pisses me off, though, cause, Miss Hound debuted AN EPISODE BEFORE).

Season 5 is where her mental health is finally at the bottom, and, combined with the fact she seems to be going back and forth of who she wants to be with (Adrien, Chat Noir and Luka in a way), she does a lot of bad decisions.

However, there is a limit to how many things a bad mental health can excuse. She kind of manipulated Chat Noir's feelings to get him to kiss her.

However, to be honest, if Astruc learned his lesson on how he can't write Marinette like a Stalker and overly jealous girlfriend, and tried to improve her portrayal on the next seasons, I could TRY to forgive her...

But then, Sublimation came.

Even after all the fans complaints, the forced backstory in Derision to try to justify her behavior, and the promise of starting a new arc... Marinette ends up breaking a girl's prosthetic leg because of Adrien.

In the end, even if I can see the archetype they were going for when creating Marinette, girl, I can't defend you and your jealousy!

Seriously, some of the things you did probably can be considered crimes.

(If I am forgetting something, please comment on the post. I don't have energy to search ALL the questionable things Marinette did on the show).

Her design isn't bad, but... the pigtails are childish, and the outfit looks like a simple pajama. Since she is a fashion designer, I expected something more.

15- Nino Lahiffe

Man, Nino... what have the writers done to you?

Nino on season 1 was Adrien's best friend who tried to teach him how to relax and have fun.

He was this chill guy who dated Alya and spoke a lot of "dude". He was never the most profound character, but, he was quite sweet.

On season 2, during "Anansi", Nino shows how much he care for Alya and gets the turtle miraculous.

Then, he becomes basically irrelevant in season 3. It felt like the writers have no idea of what to do with him anymore.

Probably because, since Adrien has less runtime than Marinette, Nino get's basically zero focus, since the show only cares for him as Adrien's best friend and Alya's boyfriend.

If this wasn't bad enough on its own already,at season 4, Nino gets turned into a toxic boyfriend, revealing him and Rena Rouge's identity in a moment of rage.

Then, at season 5, he starts the whole idea of the resistance... and his plans are... questionable to say the least.

I honestly feel bad for Nino. The writers don't seem to care for him for who he is, and all of his arcs are dependant on other characters.

The show doesn't show his own inner struggles, ambitions, or his home life. Which makes him very shallow.

I know that Astruc once commented that Nino has an older brother who has disappeared and gave him the hat before going missing, and that's why Nino was sad when Chamaleon stole it.

But, they never done anything with it in the show which makes Nino's character empty.

I wish the show had treated him better, but man, "Rocketear" and "Illusion" really damaged his image.

Nino's design is solid. I think it shows his chill personality well.

14- Adrien Agreste

Just like with Marinette, I would like to disclaim a few things.

I know Adrien has a complex home life. I know that all the sheltering from his parents made him a bit socially awkward. I know that Chat Noir is the only way he can truly be himself. AND I KNOW THE SENTIMONSTER PLOT KEPT HIM FROM HAVING AN INTEREST ARC.

Season 1 Adrien is... pretty wishy-washy. Although he is "nice" and he cares for his friends... he doesn't do much. A lot of that has to do with the fact Gabriel barely lets him out of the Manor, but, it doesn't excuse things such as him being friends with Chloe, even after she bullies not only Marinette, but Juleka, Mylene, Rose, Kim, and, honestly, everyone at the class.

As Chat Noir... he is a good enough hero. Cataclysm here was still useful, and he had his moments. Although his recklessness caused a lot of problems for Ladybug from time to time, and he didn't learn anything with it.

And let's not forget that he lied he was dating Ladybug just so Theo wouldn't flirt with her. Some people headcanon this as him protecting Ladybug (who he though was a minor) from an adult.

But let's be fair, Theo is probably their age in-universe, and Chat just did it out of jealousy. Which, was a bit of a dick move, but, not the worst thing he pulled out.

On season 2 he started to get a bit annoying. As Adrien, he keeps finding ways of defending Chloe, and "lecturing" how people shouldn't be happy with her leaving which... I understand he feels bad about his first friend leaving Paris, but, he can't explain the rest of the class should feel bad about it.

Chloe has been straight up BULLYING AND TORTURING the class for years, and everyone there had a right to be happy.

As Chat Noir, his jealousy becomes a problem with his character. Yes, Ladybug isn't exactly a great partner all the time, but he could try to remain professional instead of pouting.

Season 3 cements Adrien's character as a bland cardboard. Sorry, but his way of dealing with Lila wasn't good either. Like, if Lila's lies was harmless, I would understand the "high road idea", but she was straight up taking advantage of everyone. Lila's situation could have ended badly if they didn't take any action.

He does seem to change his stance on her a bit during "Onichan" and "Ladybug", but, it only affects the plot on season 5.

Then, season 4 happens, and boy, it isn't good for his image.

First, his whole relationship with Kagami is a mess. He CLEARLY has feelings for Ladybug while he is dating her. Like, he considers causing an akumatization on lies just because he is bored and wants to see her.

The scene with the yellow rose meant nothing on the special if Adrien would pull up a stunt like that on the second episode of the season.

As Chat Noir, he becomes so whiny this season. Like yeah, I understand Ladybug could put more trust on him, but, at this point, he should expect some secrets.

Season 5, surprisingly, is when Adrien's character actually gets a bit interesting.

Now that he is crushing on Marinette, and not Ladybug, we see him taking initiative as Adrien instead of Chat Noir. Which actually gives him a bit of development and depth...

Sadly, what holds him back is the sentimonster plot.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir this season is pretty ignored and forgotten by the plot. So, nothing to say about him.

Summing up my thoughts about Adrien: it's not his fault the way he is, but, most of the time, he whines or throws jealous tantrums.

Adrien's design is not bad, but... it's plain. It isn't that fashionable for the son of a designer, and it doesn't show his personality either.

13- Marc Anciel

You might be wondering why Marc is on the half of the list of characters that I don't like... and it's because I don't like him, sorry.

Like, Reverser was an interesting episode. The akuma was creative, and, since Marc was a writer, it was a way for the fanfic writers fan to relate to him...

HOWEVER, Marc suffers from an issue. It isn't new to us that the miraculous writers are not the best in characterization, and sometimes, many characters can feel the same.

Marc feels like he is just a more friendly version with Nathaniel. And whenever he appears, he is WITH Nathaniel. And they act like a hivemind.

This makes Marc feels less like a character and more like an extension of Nathaniel.

He doesn't feel original, and the fact that he only has a prominent role in 3 episodes (one of which is Gabriel Agreste, where his role was a mess), doesn't make him any more interesting.

And the fact that he is a part of Mendeleeive's class doesn't help at all, considering everyone there barely has cameos, and I doubt the show's team sees the majoirty of them as actual characters.

Then, in Penalteam, someway somehow, even with how little emphasis he had through the show, he got a miraculous...

Seriously, the writers made Chloe evil only so that there was a spare miraculous for Marc? When Zoe could have gotten the rooster?

(I usually only keep Marc as the rooster holder in my AUs cause 1, I like the design, and 2, he is the only confirmed writer on the teen cast).

There is also the fact that Marc was inspired by a person that was allegedly friends with Astruc, and that Astruc allegedly treated badly. This kind of sours the character even more to me.

And last, but not least... I don't like the design. It isn't the outfit, I just think that his face and his hair don't mix well.

It's mostly due to the hair, I think, because I love the combo of his bone structure with his Rooster Bold hair.

I personally like @maddascanbe-blog 's take on marc, because they adjust the face shape and the hair to make a better combo.

But, before moving on to the next character, I would like to state that I don't judge anyone who likes Marc as a character.

Again, he is a character who writes, and the miraculous fandom is known for its large amount of fanfiction and rewrites. He is a shy character that is also slightly geeky.

I understand why people like Marc, @artzychic27 has a lot of stories expanding on the character and creating a bunch of interesting headcanons in the process.

It's just that the character doesn't work for me.

Still, I think he deserved better.

12- Kim Ature

Kim is a character that angers me a lot.

And not because of Derision. Far from it, actually.

Kim, from the start, had questionable behaviors that he could have learned from and improved. But, the show kinds of ignores his past mistakes.

He is very insensitive with the feelings of his friends, like how we saw in Stoneheart, where he is literally mocking Ivan, a boy that clearly has low self-stem, because he can't confess his feelings.

And "Timebreaker" reveals that he is known for pressuring his friends into dares that no one seems to enjoy. Reason why Alix dares him into a race to see if she can stop him.

He is not a jerk, nor a bully, but, he clearly lacks emotional intelligence.

Does the show does anything interesting with it? No, it doesn't. We never see him apologizing to Ivan, or trying to empathize with his classmates.

He doesn't have any arc and it's sad.

He is only higher on the list, because there are moments where Kim is actually enjoyable. And because I know he isn't a bad person.

Just wish the show actually tried to give him something.

His design fits him perfectly, and I can't imagine him any other way.

11- Alya Cesaire

I feel like the fandom has a weird view on Alya.

Most of the complaints I see is when people call her a bad friend and things like this.

However, I don't exactly see Alya as a bad friend. Her believing Lila is mostly due to bad writing. and, although she can be a bit pushy when it comes to Marinette's love life... literally the entire cast (but Zoe, as shown in Kwami's Choice) is.

My main problem with Alya is that she is not what the show tries to portray her as.

We are told that Alya is more of a serious reporter, or even a detective in the majority of cases.

But... she mostly seems like a fangirl, an amateur gossip reporter, or an influencer.

She is either after Ladybug's identity to post on her blog to get more views, making videos such as rankings, or taking unecessary risks to get some answers.

I know she is a teenager, and there aren't many teenagers in the real world who actually do serious investigative work, but, the problem is that the show tries to portray her in a more serious light.

But, besides helping Marinette with the Miracle Book in season 4, we don't see her doing anything else. We don't see her interrogating akuma victims to find a pattern, or trying to find Hawk Moth's identity with an investigative board... nothing.

If they embraced the more gossipy side, I think that she would be more interesting, but, since they don't, Alya ends up as just an annoying character to me.

Alya's design for me it's good. It's hard for me to imagine her any other way.

10- Ivan Bruel

From this point onwards, is where I start to find the characters interesting or even liking them.

Ivan, as a character, it's pretty interesting. He is sweet, insecure, has no friends, and, still, he seems to care so much about all his friends.

He is aware of his strengh, and, because of that, is afraid of hurting others.

Besides, he is such a cute boyfriend to Mylene, and is always trying to support her.

Astruc also confirmed that he has a hard home life, which, could lead to interesting episodes.

What holds him back is the lack of focus that he is given.

Besides Stoneheart, Horrificator, a bit of Mega Leech, and Penalteam, he doesn't do much, and just stands on the background.

He had the potential of being a fan favorite... but, the plot forgets his existence most of the time.

His design is simple, but, I kind of like it.

9- Mylene Harprele

Mylene, as a character, is interesting as well. I think that it's interesting how much she struggles with her fears, mostly because I struggle with mine as well.

And still, she manages to be an activist and fights for what she believes.

Sadly, she doesn't have much more going with her character.

Besides her sweetness, emphaty and insecurities, the show doesn't explore more about her.

They do have the plot of her interest in acting but... I think that her activism plot is more interesting.

Not that she can't be both, but, since we already have an actress on the main cast (Zoe), I think that they shouldn't overlap.

The web series 'Miraculous Secrets' on YouTube commented on Mylene wants to be a politician someday, and, I think that, if the show focused more on that, Mylene could get way more interesting.

Imagine if, instead of Marinette, Mylene was Class President? She would be forced to face her fears, doubts and Chloe to do so. It could be a great arc for her.

But, no, she only gets one or two uncreative episodes that try to teach about environmental awareness but fail badly.

And, although the fact that her mother left was only added to tarnish Chloe's image even more, they could have used it to explain where her phobias came from, and have an episode where she faces her traumas.

But no. The show just treats her as the "hippie girl" of the class.

As for her design, I don't have any complaints. I heard people talk about how her hair is cultural appropriation, but, since I am a white boy, I have no idea if it is or not.

If any black person would like to comment on the matter, I would gladly hear it.

8- Rose Lavillant

Rose, in general, is an interesting character.

Although she is very sweet and innocent, she is also very strong and dedicated.

And, even is she doesn't have many episodes where she has a prominent role, her minutes on the spotlight are very well utilized.

Either be her usual comments on the Love Square, her trying to cheer her friends up, and "Guilltrip" as a whole.

But, there is one BIG problem with her character... the "Toxic Positivity" she is always trying to force onto the other characters and the viewers.

As someone who grew up with Spongebob, and still uses toxic positivity nowadays as a copying mechanism... kids shouldn't be taught that. It isn't healthy.

And the show doesn't acknowledge that at any moment.

As for the design, I think it fits Rose perfectly. It matches how joyful and bubbly she is.

7- Luka Couffaine

Luka is a pretty chill guy. He usually is the group's therapist due to usually being the one with most experience and thoughtful.

Growing up without a father, and with Anarka being chaotic, he had to learn to be responsible and help himself and Juleka.

He is great at music and uses it to express himself and understand the world around him...

He is also very romantic, and know how to flirt.

He seems like the perfect Love Interest... which ends up making him a bit of an uninteresting character.

I understand why the fandom loves him, because, well, he is "perfect". But, that doesn't leave much room for him to grow.

We rarely saw Luka's inner conflicts or his struggles through the seasons.

Viperion, from his debut, is already great with his miraculous, and he never fails.

The times his powers fail is due to someone else's actions.

Season 5 brought an interesting arc for him. He found out about Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities, and, therefore, can't get akumatized. Because, if he does, Monarch wins.

But, after Migration, he is sent to Brazil and only returns at the season finale...

As for his design... I mean, it's okay. It kind of matches the character... BUT, I would like to comment on something.

During the big season 1 and 2 hiatus, where the fandom survived with the fan comics and the crumbs of information... some people created designs for Luka.

I don't know the artist because I only saw the comic on youtube, but, there was a design of him which he had a more circular face shape like Juleka, red highlights instead of cyan, and a more timid, but still playful behavior that was PERFECT!

Although Canon Luka is sufficient at his job... this fan comic Luka was so cool!

It's a shame I never found the artist...

All in all, I like Luka, but, he could have been more interesting.

6- Nathaniel Kurtzberg

Although I don't like Nathaniel as much as the fandom does, I do think he is interesting.

He is an art kid who enjoys fancomics and fanfiction. Pretty relatable in my opinion.

My main problem with Nathaniel is that the crew sometimes exagerrate with his sass.

Instead of being charismatically sassy (like Pearl on SU, for example), he feels more whiny from time to time.

Like, sometimes it can be a pain to see him in scream complaining or throwing a tantrum.

Still, he is not the worst character on the show.

As for his design... I don't like red on him. Like, we already have so many characters on red, like Marinette after she transforms, Marc, Kagami, Kim...

It's just a bit too much. After finding out he is actually a brunette, i was fully convinced they should have chosen another color for him.

Especially cause, although I love Caprikid's design, and it fits Nathaniel perfectly... the red doesn't look good.

Imagine him being Brunette with really dark hair as a civillian, and his turning black with white streaks after he transforms?

All in all, even if Nathaniel can be enjoyable in canon, he can also be a pain in the ass (and his behavior in "Reverser" was unacceptable).

5- Juleka Couffaine

Juleka is a character that I really like... mostly because of the Brazillian Dub.

In most countries, she is a character that jsut mumbles, and, most of the times I see the official accounts commenting on what she is trying to say... it's usually creepy. Like how people suggested that she once said that "Marinette should kidnap Kagami".

However, instead of just mumbling, Juleka actually speaks in Brazillian. Most of her lines are probably not what Astruc in mind, but, it makes her more interesting.

Brazillian!Juleka is, a lot of the times, a reluctant voice of reason. Like, in one episode, she suggested that Marinette should SPEAK with Kagami about her feelings for Adrien. Instead of any crazy plan.

Besides, I think that Juleka's arc is pretty interesting. She had to learn how to express herself, and stop people from stepping on her.

Although Crocoduel ended up being more about Lukanette's break up than Juleka, it shows us new sides of the character.

It shows how Juleka feels unfavored in comparison to Luka (specially by Jagged), how she doesn't want to disappoint her friends... and how she just want her parents to make peace and stop fighting.

It's a shame that the miraculous magically solved her self-stem, though, instead of being something more procedual.

Also, I hate how the tiger's power was basically the same as the cat, when the entire fandom wanted invisibility.

Still, Juleka had an arc on the show... which is more than I can say about the rest of the cast.

And, the design combines perfectly with her.

4- Max Kante

Max is miraculous best boy, and, no, you won't change my mind.

Max is pretty much the steryotype of the geeky nerd. He is great at math and objectivity, he is great at science, and can be a bit socially awkard from time to time.

Although he doesn't have an overarching story across the series, his hero choice was the one who made most sense in context. Unlike the other heroes who were mostly chosen due to being friends with Ladybug or Chat Noir and being related to the akuma, Max actually helped the heroes on the episode.

His relationship with his mother is also very cute, especially considering how badly Parent and children relationships are written in the show. It reminds me a bit about mine with my mother (although my relationship with my mother can be a bit more complex due to some reasons XD).

My biggest disappointment towards him, however, is that he was given the horse, and not the, I don't know, the RABBIT!

Like, out of all kids in class, he is the one who would probably understand about time travel. Imagine if he was the one safe watching the timeline?

I like to imagine Rabbit!Max as a Professor Paradox from Ben 10, of sorts, who appears only when necessary and knows what to do to keep the events on the rails.

It makes more sense for him to have this role than Alix. At least, in my opinion.

Besides, imagine episodes focused on Max learning how to deal with time annomalies inside of Burrow. Like a Rabbit!Max spin-off! Let me dream, guys, please.

As for his design, it is adorable. I love the suspenders.

I do have my complaints about his character, like, the circumstances for his two akumatizations are pretty... meh and two basic, and his friendship with Kim is too underutilized and explored by the show.

3- Alix Kudbel

Alix is such a fun character to watch. She is competitive, and has a bit of a short fuse, but, at the same time, she is also the one who tends to be the most reasonable on her friends' group.

She is sassy, but on the right measure, and has her moments of vulnerability. And, even if her relationship with her father isn't frequently shown, I think it's interesting that, even is she tends to be a bit rebellious... he supports her and trusts her.

My main problem with her is the choice of her miraculous...

Alix has always been a character that is straight to the point. She is brave, direct and confrontational... and they gave her a miraculous that forces her to be on the sidelines...

In my opinion, she should have been given either the Snake, the Tiger, the Ox, the Bee or the dog.

Due to her position as Bunnix, she doesn't appear as much as she should.

(Although, like with Max, maybe some episodes focused on her adventures inside of burrow could also solve this issue).

Her design is also very cool. It's pretty rebellious and sporty. Although, I don't like the shade of pink in her hair... like, it just doesn't clash well.

I also would like to thank my friend @natedogx15 , by making Alix a main character in his rewrite, he showed me how good Alix could actually be.

2- Zoe Lee

Okay, this character grew a lot in me as I rewatched season 4 and 5 (also the fact that the other characters got worse and worse in my eyes).

Although Zoe is usually seen as just Chloe's half-sister who became the next Queen Bee, she is much more than that.

She is a girl from an abusive family, who felt powerless on her own house, and lost herself in an attempt to fit in a world where she thought she had to belong...

Only to find out that she could be herself, because she would eventually find a place where people would like her for who she is.

I am making a bunch of analysis on Zoe's character, but, to sum it up, she isn't a bad character. It's just that the show hates her.

I would also recommend @nerdy-chocomallow analysis on her. It will surely help you guys have a new vision on her.

1- Sabrina Raincomprix

I am aware that this opinion is very unpopular among the fandom, and I kind of understand it.

She was Chloe's servant from seasons 1 to 4, and, even if she was treated badly... she still helped Chloe into torturing the rest of the class without visible remorse, only to suddenly few guilt in Season 5 and turn her back on Chloe and Lila...

But, just like the majority of Sabrina fans, I like Sabrina for 1, how much i relate to her, and 2, for all the headcanons that I created with her unused potential.

The old webseries commented on how, with the exception of Adrien, Sabrina has the best grades of the class.

You might ask yourself "What about Max?". I like to imagine that, although he is a prodigy at math and science... he isn't as good with subjective subjects. Like poetry.

As for Sabrina, I headcanon her as for being a jack of all trades. She isn't a master at science or Math like Max, but passionate and dedicated enough to get the top grades.

I also like to imagine Sabrina writes poems. She can't vent her feelings with words, so she does it via poems.

Also, as Penalteam shows, she loves soccer. I imagine she is a fan of sports in general, and uses them as a way to relieve stress.

Why she is so dedicated in general? Maybe it's a way to try to get her busy father's attention. Maybe it's so that she can fill the voide she feels due to her loneliness.

Sadly speaking, that's what those headcanons are. Headcanons.

If you guys want more Sabrina headcanons like this, i recommend @sabrina-central to get more info.

It's a shame that canon Sabrina didn't get more explored. Although I never had a toxic friendship on this level, I know the feeling of feeling alone, and that you will never find friends outside your current group. I know how it is to have a lot to say, but unable of externalizing it.

As for her design... I just think that the shorts are ugly. Like, the shade of cyan they chose doesn't fit the character at all.

Anyway, that was my ranking. If you disagree with me... I understand. Miraculous as whole doesn't have good writting, especially when it comes to the characters.

And I understand people excusing or defending a character because they can relate to them.

I just think it's important for us to be critical so we can learn from the mistakes the characters make.

[dollsahoy]

and of course, when I talk about feeling better about my craft/hobby stash after I let things go--after years of happily acquiring every ~bargain~ I could--I say that with the understanding that it's not necessarily going to work like that for other people

There are always going to be people who rejoice in having so much stuff, and I'm happy for them!

But once I realized that having so much stuff did not make me happy--and in fact made me feel burdened by the simple presence of it, despite the way our culture really pushes the idea of just getting something more to make you feel better. If that thing didn't work, then try getting something else! Keep trying, and you'll find that thing that makes you happy eventually, really! Anyway, once I realized that wasn't working for me, I thought it might help others to hear that it's OK to let things go, especially if they're not making you happy

and this includes learning that those things probably won't suddenly start making you happy in the future, either, especially if you never use them

If always adding More More More still never quite makes you feel right, you might find relief in less.

Maybe.

Everyone's different.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

i'll be honest i haven't done as much Illario Pondering up to this point as some others. but i am Rotating Him now so gonna do my thinking out loud on my already too long post just because...

obviously Illario and Lucanis responded to their childhoods in very different ways/grew up into very different people but i think if you want to trace Illario's Issues back down to this level you can see how that would turn him into who we see in the game/stories too.

while Lucanis ends up as a loner with "no one else" (that he Counts anyway), Illario seems to have way more connections when we meet him as an adult--he flirts with anyone, he's into nightlife, he hooks up with random people at parties, the other Crows will mention him like he's a known presence in their lives--yet none of them know what he's Really up to. So his relationships outside Lucanis & Caterina do seem to exist in plenty, but they also seem to be very shallow. Unless he has some offscreen never mentioned confidant, no one seems to know what he's up to, with either Lucanis's or Caterina's "deaths", or his alliance with the Venatori/Gods. he's kept that part secret while keeping up all these other social connections. in theory maybe he got some of the other off-screen talons on his side who knew the whole story but we don't have any evidence for that either way I think (though I don't remember all the codex details so I could be wrong).

[sidebar: yes, Zara, i know. apparently they were deep enough in whatever they had going on to have love-y pet names but like... clearly not enough that Illario wasn't willing to kill her to cover his own tracks; and personally i have my doubts that the relationship was without any ulterior motives on Zara's part either. even if they did care for each other on some level they were or weren't willing to admit (since that's entirely within our realm of interpretation now) it clearly took lesser priority than their other goals)]

SO. Illario's a conniving man (intentionally!) who isn't sharing everything he knows with his "allies" probably on either side, but at the same time... he is still a very emotional man. i don't think the whole "use people and drop them" thing is his actual desire as much as how he's gotten used to operating in the world. while Lucanis seems to have self-isolated as a way to protect both himself & those around him, I think you can interpret Illario as instead learning that he can achieve the same result by instead having a large amount of very shallow relationships. By spreading around his desire for connection he creates a situation where Caterina can't possibly remove them all from his life, but has the plausible deniability of not being actively close to anyone so he doesn't risk punishment falling on himself either.

and i don't necessarily think his approach was a WORSE one compared to Lucanis', at first. in many ways something's better than nothing and Illario seems to have a better understanding of himself & his emotions (not saying he always does or it's a GOOD understanding, but "better than Lucanis" is not a very high bar), plus way more experience in general at just. social anything. because now that they're adults, ILLARIO is the one who has managed to stand up to Caterina, and change the direction of his own life, even if he did pick the most ruthless path to it. Unlike Lucanis (in The Wigmaker Job & first parts of Veilguard) he DOES show great deal of autonomy, understanding that his tiny family is the thing holding him back from what he really wants. But he also has no one else jumping over to help him, no one left he can manipulate, and so he reaches past the crows to the Venatori/Gods as the next step.

so the true downside to this is in fact based in reputation more than anything else. because he's spent years seemingly playing with the emotions of everyone else while never really giving them a way in, as a coping mechanism... he's already burned those potential bridges in a way Lucanis hasn't. people aren't willing to extend extra graces to him the same way. possibly it even contributed to why Caterina liked him less as a successor, since he was less controllable by her personal rules/whims. i dont really have a thesis statement here like before since i haven't been mulling it over as long but i think it's a fun way to interpret their dynamic.

man... in Veilguard it really is so so clear how much Lucanis yearns for connection, how much he laments having barely anyone who is a tangible long-term presence in his life. Illario and Caterina are IT until he meets Rook, he tells them.

but he grew up in the Dellamorte estate. A huge, huge manor that would not just have servants, but STAFF. payrolls full of people who clean and cook and keep the place running. And we know he had some amount of free reign around the place. He explored in the tunnels and basements and found the secret entrance/exit while playing alone. He learned how to make churros and cook other food from the kitchen staff. Someone taught him to knit. So... where are those people? Where's the kindly cook who became a second mother, or the maids who watched him play? He would know their names and remember them, if they were around long enough. And it's NOT just some rich boy privilege that makes him forget they're there, because we know he sees the working class as people who with real lives. In The Wigmaker Job, he knows elves in the alienage, who think well enough of him to let him use their secret routes around the city. He risks the whole mission and breaks rules to let one single serving maid go--they're not invisible or somehow lesser to him. He was raised as a Crow, he's been trained since he was a boy to be observant--he'd listen for the names and details about the lives of servants who were around him all the time as a child. And he is also kind and gentle, so he would reach back if they offered him any kind of affection

Which means their absence in his life is intentional. Caterina must have had the staff rotated often enough that he couldn't learn who they were, and discouraged anyone from talking to or connecting with the Dellamorte boys--she probably thought she was keeping them safe. Keeping them from having people who might matter and therefore could be used against all of them--not to mention it's way easier to slip a poisoned treat to a trusting child, or convince them to follow you out of the estate to an undisclosed location. Her paranoia after losing all her children and other grandkids warped into isolating the Dellamorte boys utterly from any kind of connection and affection outside of herself, and then she withheld it anyway, because she was afraid of getting hurt again too (<- not an excuse, still abuse). And she is NOT a kind woman, who would look over a transgression--servants disobeying her orders about staying away from her grandsons would mean losing their job at best and probably physical punishment along with it. Or maybe you just never saw that coworker who dared say something kind to a crying child again.

It's so sad. And makes it so much more meaningful that there WERE occasional times he got away with it anyway. I wonder how much those cooks risked when teaching him how a kitchen runs, and to make his favorite dessert. If they had some excuse for it, or were all sent away once Caterina found out. Of course he'd stop trying to make friends with any children of the staff his age, if any time he did, the whole family got moved to work at a summer villa in the country instead. If the people who cleaned his rooms were different every month. He'd notice that anyone who he tried to get close to just ended up out of his life entirely, and so eventually Caterina wouldn't need to keep isolating him intentionally as he grew. Lucanis learned. He started doing it himself.

[butterfly-ribbon]

i was thinking about mizuki's gender being listed as unknown again and how everyone else has an explicit mention. people tried to point at that to say she's either not trans OR that she isn't a tgirl (instead a different kind of trans) at some point, but i think that… actively misunderstands the internal intent of the game. like this was done so people wouldn't assume she's a cis girl and i also think there's an active intent in noting that, but not wanting to say "gender = male" bc this would be misgendering (duh) and for a character who's burying so much of her gender struggles bc of how others deny it, i think it makes sense. there's a struggle, i think, in writing and exploring trans narratives that engage with that… question? idk. maybe it would be better if she was just noted as female from the start and i think she's overdue for that especially after ena5, but i also think there's so much nuance in how she's portrayed that i see saying her gender is "?" isn't meant to actually be a declaration of her gender or meant for the reader to question what her gender is.

in many cases, trans girls are already automatically shunted into that expectation of either a fetish or wish fulfillment (which in many ways are the same thing at a certain point) and that's the conceit of her introduction in the main story in terms of how everyone treats her as an exhibition at school - she's fetishistically mythologized and vilified as an Other type of girl, which is something she tries to reclaim by hiding behind the facade of the Mysterious Manic Pixie Dream (Cis) Girl when she's around niigo bc it's the only way she feels like she can be with them without imposing on them or getting close enough to them to the point of having to reveal her secret due to her desire to avoid being hurt. it's wild to me that the consensus in the past about her was that she's anything but a trans girl when the treatment she's subjected to at the school is textbook transmisogyny and this is something we see immediately in the main story.

people are constantly fetishizing her and treating her like an object to be ogled at. she's constantly under the threat of violence. even when she puts so much work into pushing back just through being full of energy and looking "past" it all, they never stop. there's nothing she can do about a society that refuses to recognize her as a person, much like mafuyu can't do anything to change her own mother.

at most she gets told by others that this person is "just not used to her yet". terrible implications all around bc she's made to feel as though people are just putting up with her existence instead of making the effort to understand something that should be simple about who she is, which makes her feel terrible after she's put so much effort into both explaining herself and making herself as palatable as possible?

i think there are some valid criticism to be raised about how marking mizuki as "unknown" and how it might've contributed to people writing her off as "neither a girl nor boy" and the unfortunate parallels with degendering/third sexing therein. if i were to engage in good faith, i'd say the intent is draw attention to mizuki's gender struggles and make the reader interrogate that (and then ideally arriving at the answer being that she's a trans girl), but i still stand by my take that ena5 should've had her refer to herself as a girl explicitly to reclaim the way she was outed previously. it also always felt like the equivalent of mafumom being 'hidden' due to mafuyu's perception of her as a figure of authority rather than a person until kanade saw her for the awful person she is. in this case mizuki's "unknown" is also meant to tie into her own internalized transmisogyny (e.g. referring to herself as an artificial flower in many songs). mizuki herself plays into the degendering she's been subjected to for her entire life in many ways … we know that in the beginning of high school she actually made effort to explain herself to others and they didn't get it? she presumably said that she's a trans girl but she wasn't taken seriously. now she just finds it exhausting to explain anything and she doesn't want to feel like she constantly has to prove that a trans girl is just a type of girl so she's just like "that's me. i do this bc i wanna be me. this is the person i am, why the hell do you think i would do this, why would i dress this way, why would I put up with people like you if it wasn't obvious." i think there's also a lot we can engage with in terms of the presentation of mizuki which is wholly under her own control vs that which is outside of her control... mizuki finds comfort in niigo and connecting with girls over discord bc she can rewrite her life in such a way to as to obscure her own transness like when she narrates her backstory. the fact that the details of her trauma are so carefully hidden carries a strong intent bc it reads as mizuki's renarrativization due to not wanting to get too much into detail about her own trauma? it feels very meta considering mizuki's genre saviness and the fact that most transfeminine narratives tend to indulge in transmisogynistic violence in really voyeuristic ways... we know mizuki had numerous traumatic coming out moments and i think there's so much to read into the ambiguity around this... she's frankly constantly under the treat of SA as well as a trans girl, but i just appreciate that this is something the writing treats respectfully and affords her so much dignity. to be trans in many contexts is to be expected to give over so much of yourself to people who frequently won't care, won't actually understand how much of yourself you're giving over, and will actively rewrite your narrative to define who you are for you based on their own prejudices… and mizuki communicates that well bc she's allowed to be almost wholly in control of her presentation and her narrative.

[gotham-daydreams]

HEY I finally managed to put my thoughts together and write this and damn why so much? Half of this is pure nonsense and emotions you can skip reading I'm just glad to read and this day too yuhu

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT THE END

oh shit today I read the chapter slower BUT how else? DAMN I WROTE TWO SHEETS OF A5 PAPER writing down any thoughts that came to my mind and putting together what had already happened in the past days (I hope I can now figure out what I wrote because it would be a shame not to understand)

The end of the world, aliens who want to take over the earth? DESTROY? Brainwashed cultists, SECRET SOCIAL SCIENCE BRAINWASHED MAYBE ENTIRE COUNTRIES? Okay, the last nonsense of a skunk

Damn, I knew that the emphasis on what card MC had in the previous chapter meant something, I knew it! And his behavior, he's a cultist for sure. (I remembered the meme "Are you somehow connected to the darknet?" "I'm not just connected, I control it" repeat what you said-)

And now, having seen Dickhead's behavior and the sand in Duke's suit, Cas' behavior in the past, I definitely remain with the theory that "MC IS DEFINITELY NOT PART OF A SECT AND IS NOT BRAINWASHING EVERYONE ELSE, WELL, THAT CANNOT BE" sarcasm.

what's next, oh yeah, a sudden warming in the fall. (I don't remember if it was the beginning of fall or the end, so I'm not sure) warming? abrupt? what is already happening with the sun? or is the earth itself also under the influence? Or a way to catch up with the atmosphere and I see complete fuck-up in everything..

Red Dawn (let's ignore the fact that it's a sci-fi/action movie, I don't think it's related) Do they by any chance have horizons that light up red in the morning? Then it would be possible to somehow connect the weather, the title, and what's happening together.

bodies disappear. from coffins.. in general they disappear leaving only sand. Either the body leaves or ALIEN CREATURES EAT THE BODY SOMEWHERE ABSORBING FLESH BONES AND ALL THEREBY REPRODUCING. Oh no I'm not sure about any of these options but the last one didn't sound too tasty

Let me get back to the main topic that worries me the most? MC is a fucking cult member, I'll bet three boxes of pineapple pizza on that and oh my god he obviously has an effect on those around him, but does he do it on purpose? Yeah, maybe..considering he has something to hide judging by the last chapter. If he influences others then it turns out he's already infected too? Infection? Fuck, if he's not a meta or a skilled manipulator/psychologist then that's the only option left in my head. And how does he infect?..maybe food or subconsciously and does he infect or just subjugate the general idea? It hasn't dawned on me yet. And again we'll get back to the pink card that's been tormenting me since the day before yesterday (I'm losing track of time). Do they give it to cult members? How do cultists somehow stumble upon a bank? Does it serve as a designation between them? So there are a lot of questions and thoughts..

damn, I still have so many thoughts in my head that I have no one to express, but it seems to me that if I continue to express everything I think or notice in one breath, I will be closed down in Arkham (it's good that it's anonymous)

Sorry for such a huge amount of nonsense that I write lately, I'm just a damn fan of this work, I miss reading exactly this in my life, your works are like a breath of fresh air in this pile...neglected...

Keep up the good work, damn I can't wait for the fifth day (to say whether I was right or wrong to myself..and then here too)

Honestly I really don't mind, and feel really honored and flattered that a little idea of mine has sparked this much thought!!! It really sucks that I can't comment on anything JUST yet... but I will say that I'm unsure if I should use a surprised pikachu face or something like that.

So...

[alacants]

The source of those rumors is a guy from Carlos's family's tennis club who is close to Kiko Navarro & knows some members of Carlos's team & is a regular collaborator with Punto de Break. According to him (he's said this before) Carlos & Juanki had a significant fight towards the end of 2023. But the claim that they nearly split up back then came from someone else who's less reliable.

As for 2025, the first guy says Carlos's dad has apparently not been happy with what Juanki is doing for a while... but it seems like Carlos doesn't agree. If things don't turn around after clay season his family might push for changes to the team.

From my perspective it's hard to understand the coaching strategy sometimes. Like you said Juanki's strength is not tactics but it seems like that's what Carlos really needs. This is just one example but I think it's crazy that he sat on court in silence for three sets without suggesting Carlos change his return position v Djokovic - Carlos eventually figured it out... in the last game of the match. And that was honestly the main factor in him losing. You could argue Juanki wanted him to figure it out himself but why on earth did they not discuss that beforehand when it also cost him massively at the Olympics (which Carlos said he didn't even think about before the match?)

I know Juanki's whole thing is treating team like family but there are a lot top coaches who say that after 5ish years a coach has nothing to give a player anymore & I wonder if their partnership has run its natural course. Carlos doesn't seem any more tactically equipped than he was two years ago & his technicals have mostly not improved either (return... backhand...).

thanks for this background - after replying to some earlier asks i dug around and saw some folks citing punto de break but not any specifics so this is appreciated. this does immediately increase the credibility to me bc i know pdb values their access and would not jeopardize it for nothing lmao. tho if it's like, a guy who sometimes writes for them and is mostly posting on his own time... i guess that's somewhere in the middle. (btw i still haven't seen anything other than reports of reports of reports? if you've got links i would very much appreciate them!)

as usual i think we're looking at two questions here: could carlos benefit from a different coach, and does carlos want a different coach.

i think we are all in agreement that for carlos to continue to develop as a player he needs something he's not getting at the moment, whether we're thinking in terms of incorporating a new addition to the team or making a wholesale switch. and i don't disagree with you at all about the natural lifespan of a coaching relationship. i've cited this before in discussions of juanki's own career (stuck with one guy; was it a mistake?) and of ferru's (split but waited too long; chalked the delay up to personal feelings).

but as long as it's presented to carlos as an all-or-nothing choice i don't think he's there yet and i would not be surprised to find out that his recent post-match declarations were a message. (tbc it very much MIGHT be an all-or-nothing choice, regulars here know i have plenty of thoughts about the academy lmao.)

the thing is that at this point the unknowns are still really, really risky. if you've had the same coach for most of your teen/adult years and you're ready to strike out and try something new, then that's exciting and stimulating and you're in a good place to make the best of it. but if you're dragging your feet? if you feel like you've been pushed? maybe someone else could give you more, but you have to be ready to receive it, you know? if you're an environment that you know enables you overall to perform at a high level (4 grand slams), where you feel overall confident and supported even if you're lacking direction in some big matches, where you get value from your coach's presence above and beyond the specifics of tennis--it is inherently going to be a risk to make a big change and if you're not all in on doing so the risks will be even more likely to find you.

that's why i keep saying is that i don't see it happening unless carlos' results gets much worse than this--or, potentially, unless a voice that holds as much weight with him as juanki's (so, his dad) gets strong enough that he listens to it. that might be where we're headed!

(incidentally i have feinted at this without saying so explicitly, but there is an unbelievable amount of money riding on carlos' success or lack thereof--i don't mean prize money, i mean his brand as a star--and it would be naive to pretend that's not a factor in decision-making. that's one of the reasons i've pointed to a sustained slump, rather than one or two disappointing slams. when the results start to affect the brand.)

just talked this over with friend who compared the ideal set-up to darren/simone for jannik--supervisory coach + tactical/court coach. if so, then the question is whether they come to that same conclusion and get the set-up in place before the decision is out of their hands, so to speak.

[fromchaostocosmos]

You do not need to be white to be a colonizer so you not be white has nothing to with it.

That you keep calling Judaism a religion is a part of the problem. Because we are not just that.

Of course there is value is cultures and societies are no longer around. The reason that I brought them up is not to say that we Jews or more accurately using our actual name יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל are more superior for surviving.

No I used those specific examples because all of them if you knew anything about the history of my people are all ones who tried to destroy us. They did their best to ruin us, to murder us, to rape us, to tell us what we could and could not do.

They enslaved us, they colonized us.

Each one of those examples I gave have to do with Empires that did Horrors to us.

And my point is even though they did those things we are still here and we have survived. And on top that there is an extra fuck you in that they are not.

It is the way we say fuck you to Arch Titus and to Hitler. It is a you tried to kill us and destroy and fuck you we are still here and you are not.

If you can not understand that I don't know what to tell you.

Like many of our Holidays can be some what summarized as "they tried to kill us they failed let us commemorate and eat and party"

Jews, יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל are a tribe. We are a very old tribe. Judaism is the name that put onto practices and beliefs of said tribe.

We are not just a religion and that you keep calling us a religion shows that you are not getting it.

You do understand how we function. You think that we are trying to tell you how do to your stuff and that we are being party poopers.

That is not what is happening.

Christianity is not an off-shoot, branch off, evolution, etc. of Judaism. Christianity is some original ideas, stuff stolen from Judaism, and stuff taken from a whole bunch of various pagan beliefs as well from other religions such Buddhism and Hinduism.

All of that got blended and mixed and that is Christianity.

The thing about Christianity that you and lots of other people may not like, but this is just a fact of reality is that is foundations are built on antisemitism.

It set itself up by stating we are not the Jew and we are very different from them, in fact they killed our god.

When you look at the history and study it you see this. This whole thing is something gets studied by students of theology.

And this is something that we Jews have been discussing for a very long time.

Christians as individuals may not antisemitic, but Christianity the religion is founded on antisemitism and as an institution very much is antisemitic. That is just a fact.

I don't believe in Lucifer or any of them so you want to do whatever it is you do go and do it and enjoy.

My issue is and always has been when you and anyone else comes and takes that which is not for you to take.

My issue is the propping up of Christian Supersessionism (also know as replacement theology) which yes is what you are doing. My issue is the talking over Jews and thinking you know more then us on our own stuff and bringing in some sources and acting like you understand when you clearly do not.

I always find with pagans that it is either a very pleasant nice experience and the person is just respectful and the conversation is interesting. Like I enjoy it and can ask questions and they can ask questions and we both can learn things and come away with new information and understanding.

I always enjoy those and have had many of them. I always open to them and I enjoy learning so when I get the chance to understand how stuff works or why someone does something a certain that is great.

I've met many really wonderful pagans who are just very respectful of the many different groups with closed practices and want to learn and listen to those from those practices to make sure they are being respectful.

I've seen many a pagan who when asked certain questions will say that it is not for them to answer that question and then direct the asker to people from the correct community who they know are okay with answering those kinds of questions.

And I'm always thankful and appreciative that they understand the boundaries and limitations and respect them.

And then there are ones like these. And the ones likes these are always just the most exhausting, frustrating, and many times upsetting.

And the experiences like are never like slightly annoying or mildly irritating. No they it is always just the fucking worst.

And I see it happen with my fellow Jews and other people who have closed practices.

You either get a very lovely interaction even in cases where someone did something offensive or is appropriating and it is because they just did not know and they when given the information do better.

Or you get just the worst.

This for me has been one of the worst. I feel like I am talking to brick wall. Like everything I say gets taken out of context to be clear I not saying that means that everything I say is being taken out of context I just feel that way. (I do however think that there are couple things that I do think were purposefully taken out of context and/or purposefully misconstrued such my comment about us still being here while listing various empires that are not).

It is exhausting. But this is also something that I've had to do so many times before when dealing with anything related to being Jewish and Judaism and Jewish history and etc and correcting those who are not Jewish.

Because it doesn't matter what the topic might have been the refusal to let us Jews be the authority ourselves is something that goyim just seem to have in common pagan, monotheistic, atheist, or whatever.

The idea that we know better and best on us is something that can not be allowed and that is the common thread in all of those conversations.

Like maybe we are not the problem here, I know perish the thought.

And maybe for the 5 seconds you could just listen to us and like understand that I and other Jews in the comments are not trying to telling how to live your life all we are asking is for you stop taking from us, stop doing Supersessionism specifically in this case Christian Supersessionism, and like leave our things alone.

Hi, Shi! So, I saw your post about white saviours in the community and I wanted to ask about the Judaism one specifically. I am not white but nor am I Jewish, in ethnicity or religion, but I was also told that demonolatry spreads harmful ideas about Judaism. Because of that, I kind of stepped back from my demonolatry research for a moment. But your post did get me thinking. I guess I'm kind of just asking for clarification. Is it okay for me to practice demonolatry as a non-Jewish person or not? Sorry for the super long ask. Thank you, love your blog!

Okay, this is a kind of complex topic.

Demonolatry is the practice of worshipping demons. This can apply to any demon not just those with English names. There are people who worship the demons mentioned in Islam just as much as there are those who worship those with Jewish and Latin names, and there’s a ton of overlap.

The concept of “demon” can only exist if you conceive of some kind of supernatural divide between Gods and spirits. Many demonolaters consider all spirits including Gods to be “Spirits”; the distinction is not important and doesn’t have any real meaning. It’s rare to hear of demons in religions or spiritualities that do not have a dualistic philosophy, you don’t hear about Hindu demons often for example. And the word “demon” in English comes from the Greek “daimon” actually referred to any spirit or divine being. Pinpointing what is and isn’t demon, daemon or spirit is a matter of perspective.

The idea that you can only work with demons that have Hebrew names if you are a Jew is one that literally doesn’t make grammatical sense.

If you are a practicing Jew or hold an Abrahamic theology, to worship or revere any demon would be a violation of your theistic laws. It’s a sin, a big one. Every deity, spirit, God/Goddess from every other religion or belief is a demon to you because you believe there is only one true God. That means Norse, Greek, Egyptian, etc. deities are also considered to be demons.

Because of this theology, every time that people of Abrahamic religions (Christians, Catholics, Jews, Muslims) encountered pagans who worshipped other Gods, they were demonized. Aphrodite/ Astarte became Astaroth, Phosphorus became Lucifer who then became Satan, Cerberus became Naberius, and so on and so on.

It’s incredibly important to remember that just because a name is written in a certain language, Hebrew for example, that does not directly imply that the deity is closed to the religion of Judaism. Not all people who spoke Hebrew were Isrealites, and not every spirit that was described by them was closed to them. Lilith for example was a deity/spirit that was recognized by multiple groups of people before the Israelites existed as a definitive and monotheistic group. Lilith was described by the Sumerians for example, her strongest surviving name and archetype is that which was described by the Jews because the Jews themselves survived and the Sumerians did not.

Most demonic names you will encounter will either be written in Latin, English, or Hebrew, not because these demons are closed to those cultures but because their documentation was only ever really considered legitimate when it was done by the followers of Yahweh. This is one of the major effects of colonization in general. If I as a Phoenician pagan say that Astarte is kind and beautiful, that doesn’t matter to any Roman Catholic. If I as a Catholic say that Astaroth is a perverted demoness who tricks men into demonic sex, the church might actually listen and write that down. Us 1000 years in the future may look at that name and assume Astaroth is a Roman demon and not a Phonecian Goddess who was described by Roman people and documented in Latin.

We speak English, so the demons that are accessible to us are usually recorded from the Abrahamic religions that speak English- Christianity. Our demons are not cosmologically “Christian” nor necessarily have anything to do with the Christian God specifically (Lucifer is a Roman deity and would have had no biblical interactions or connection with YHWH according to their origins). But Christians gave them names and we use those names for the sake of consistency and to reduce confusion across languages. Many times, the original names have been lost and the infernal aspect and name is all that remains. It is the life’s work of many Demonolaters to restore their deitie’s cult to its glory, to discover these dead names or to ensure that the surviving name… survives.

There are a select few demons who’s names originate in the Jewish tradition, Azazel for example, was the scapegoat of the Isrealites who then went on to command the Watchers who became the fathers of the Nephilim. But these demons aren’t necessarily considered to be closed to Judaism- again, because no Jew is ever going to reach out to a demon before the big GOD himself. There is no theological reason why Azazel would only recognize Jewish or Christian people. If you acknowledge Azazel as the scapegoat and use that name, you are referencing his archetype as it was described by the Isrealites. Likewise if you use the name Lilith and consider her to be Adam’s first wife, you are also using her archetype as she was described by the Jews. But that doesn’t mean that Lilith herself is considered to be a sacred figure within the religion of Judaism any more than Aphrodite is. They’re all demons. There is only one God.

There’s a stronger argument to be made for the big three Jewish angels - Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, being closed to the Jewish religion because they literally are the angels patroned to the people of Israel and they are majority involved in the actual worship of their God- although I don’t really consider them to be closed either because, according to their theology, they would protect any human being created by God (which would be everyone).

The thing that you actually need to consider is if the deity is:

1. Culturally tied specifically and only to the people inside that closed religion- Demons were said to fuck with everyone, all of humanity, not just Jews. The Wendigo was a culturally significant creature that specifically targeted the Indigenous peoples of Turtle Island.

2. Intrinsic to the actual act of worship/ practicing itself- No practicing Jew incorporates Lilith or any demon into their prayers in the way they might with Archangel Michael.

3. Conceived of by the culture itself- Lilith is far older than Judaism and they do not claim to have conceived of her, whereas Michael was literally created by the Isrealites and was always said to act in the best interest of Israel as a nation.

4. Is revered and considered sacred- If I call Lilith or Belial nasty little whores, no jew is going to flinch, they probably agree. If I even speak the name of their God which is considered to be so sacred that it should not even be said in prayer, that’s insanely offensive. If I use the Tetragrammaton or wear it frivolously, someone is going to call me out.

Many western occultists have certainly appropriated sacred things from other cultures, ESPECIALLY from Judaism. Rather than admit their clear inspiration they bastardized the names and essentially stole incredibly important spiritual concepts (Qabalah). As much value is there is in the Qliphothic tradition it is also majorly appropriated from Jewish mysticism which is supposed to be knowledge closed to specific Rabbis. That’s why I’m not the biggest fan of people like Aliester Crowley.

This doesn’t mean to say that you can’t learn about anything Jewish, or Indigenous or Muslim etc. I try my best to always learn from people who are actually of the faith and not asshats who try to take the culture out of the practice. Some things genuinely are sacred and should not be appropriated, I don’t think that demons in general are one of those things.

It’s also important to remember that practices and deities aren’t always synonymous.

The Loa sprits of Voodoo religions are closed because they are ancestral spirits specific to the people in that culture. I can’t invoke my Haitian friend’s great great great grandmother and expect her to do my bidding. I can’t invoke the ancestral spirits of the Indigenous peoples of America and expect it to recognize me. I can’t even pronounce those names.

Hoodoo being closed to the black community is due to Hoodoo being not only a practice,but a survival mechanism of the black slaves who were imported into America during the slave trade. It was the blending of African spirituality with the assimilated Christianity of their masters. But theologically, most black people who practice Hoodoo have a predominantly Abrahamic faith, with belief in the Bible (although usually an alternate version) and belief in the one true God. You cannot practice the act of Hoodoo if you do not have the context of your experience as black person and the unique familial/ancestral relationships and knowledge they possess.

Likewise, you cannot practice Native American spirituality, or smudge with white sage because you do not have any experience or context living as an aboriginal in this land. Due to … yknow, colonization and genocide, most aboriginal tribes have opted to keep their practices extremely closed and sacred. I couldn’t even do it if I wanted to because I don’t even know where to start, I would have to be taught by the people they have elected to know this sacred practice.

You cannot be a practicing Jew if you are not initiated into the religion. Working with these fringe spirits is not nearly the same as appropriating the closed Jewish practice. What I and other demonolaters do is not even remotely close.

Demonolatry is not organized, it’s a self actualizing practice. Sure we have priests and priestesses, but we usually operate in cults.

I don’t know how to explain the irony in this take because if demonolaters and outcasts don’t work with and worship these spirits … literally no one will. The left hand path is crooked for a reason, alternative subcultures are alternative for a reason. The cults of Phosphorus and Lilith have never been as big as they are now. For these fringe deities to have survived so long and somehow even entered the mainstream is honestly incredibly impressive lol.

People who are unconcerned with being outcasted from Abrahamic theology aren’t going to stop practicing with their demons because religious people think it’s bad. I’m already practicing witchcraft. I already don’t believe in monotheistic theology, and there’s an entire rainbow of other things I do that are unacceptable to Judaism, Christianity and so on. The thing I care about is not disrespecting the actual culture and the things that are truly important to them.

You won’t really catch me wearing crosses, referencing Catholic practices, or talking about my practice in reference or opposite to Christianity or Judaism. I don’t defile Jewish or Christian traditions or bastardize their teachings. My practice is not the invert of their doctrine. It’s a completely separate and individual practice and philosophy.

This is LONGER THAN I MEANT IT TO BE

TLDR: No, demonolatry is not antisemitic.

It can be antisemitic if you happen to be antisemitic and many antisemitic people have historically ruined the fun for the rest of us (thanks Crowley)

But no, practicing Demonolatry does not make you racist. Being a pagan also doesn’t mean you hate religion.

[narrans]

A Small and Tall Collection | Chapter Fourteen | Rules and Realizations

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Chapter Fourteen | Rules and Realizations

“Rules?” Soren didn’t realize he’d echoed the word until he saw Ashlynn nodding, hand resting at something at her side that looked like a thumbtack. She looked nervous. Unsure. There was a general unease about the air around the small woman that made Soren almost feel wary, but something more. A desire. A simple goal of showing to this person he could be trusted. Perhaps it was his nature, or perhaps it was some kind of affect this tiny woman had over him.

Whatever the case, he continued to listen as Ashlynn spoke. She was on her feet now, and it was obvious she was just as nervous as he was.

“Yes, rules.” Her voice was shaking. “Staying for dinner. Being seen. Any interaction. There are rules you need to follow. All of you. If you can’t agree to those, then I’m gone. Get it?”

He as absolutely entranced. What kind of courage did it take for her to come up and speak to someone so much bigger than her? And what drove her from the walls out to speak with him? Was she in danger? She seemed like she could handle herself well enough. Or was it something else? Something he couldn’t understand or hadn’t noticed because of her silence?

He looked into her blue gray eyes and sensed the gravity of her request.

“Got it,” he breathed. His fascination kept him silent as he watched her fidget, eyes flicking back and forth as she gathered her thoughts.

Even though Ashlynn suspected Soren would be agreeable, the words were still hard to speak. Thoughts swirled in her head like a whirling tornado. Everything she’d ever been taught fought to constrain her voice. Every lesson engraved in her mind compelled her to stop.

Solitude drove many in desperation. She never thought she’d be broken enough to accept it, but here she was – a Borrower talking to a human.

Ashlynn had thought long and hard about all of the things that she wanted to say and the rules she would need to set in place to ensure her safety. There were so many, but there were a few that needed to be set in stone before she agreed to interact with Soren and his sons.

“Okay, rule one – no prying questions. I’ll answer some about me, but if I say no, it means no. Drop it. Leave it alone. Sharing too much is dangerous for me. Two, when I say it’s time to go, I have to go. No persuading. No keeping. No caging. No boxes either.” Ashlynn watched Soren absorbing her words like a sponge, making no effort to inquire further or counter any of her requests.

Is it really going to be this easy?

“T-three, no touching. No grabbing, pinching, poking, prodding, stroking, or petting. Ask before you do any of that. If I say it’s okay, then… go slow. Four, don’t make things so… obvious… that you’re helping or leaving things out. It makes things easy. I don’t want easy. I’m not a pet and just because I’m small doesn’t mean I’m weak.

“Finally, no telling others about me. No stories. No hints. No drawings. Nothing that points to my existence. Do you accept?” Ashlynn wasn’t sure why she was holding her breath. Everything seemed reasonable enough, but what would Soren think?

As for the human, each request only dared him to ask more questions about their wall dwelling house guest. It was the first and obviously most important of the five rules that Ashlynn set in place. Rather than question all of them, Soren decided that asking only one, clarifying question would benefit himself and his brothers.

“Yes, of course; but I do have one question if you don’t mind.” Soren’s soft tone lessened the blow of the question, but even that wasn’t enough to ward off Ashlynn’s obvious hesitance. Soren watched her fidget subtly, obviously uneasy about the question poised to strike.

She backed slightly toward the electrical cover as she replied, “Okay? What is it?”

“What counts as a ‘prying question?’ Your name, for example, could be considered prying. What food you like or don’t like could count as prying too. Also, Rey and Dorian are curious by nature. They might not know the difference or practice discretion,” pointed out Soren. By the way the infinitesimal eyes flicked down and side to side, it was obvious Ashlynn hadn’t considered these things. “Could… I suggest a compromise? We can ask, but you don’t have to answer. Just tell us if we’re out of line and, like you said, we’ll drop it. As long as you don’t take offence to that suggestion.”

Soren hoped Ashlynn wouldn’t go sprinting back into the walls at his suggestion. Being friends was his goal, if he had to give it a name. The human watched, breath baited, as Ashlynn contemplated the request.

Every time you show up, I have more questions – questions you probably don’t want to answer. Who are you? What are you? Where do you come from? Are there more like you out there? And do they need help? Why are you trusting us now when you weren’t before? Did something happen? Is there something you need? Want? Are you telling me we can’t ask questions because you’re protecting someone? Who are you protecting?

Or are you just as curious about us as we are of you?

Soren would never dare voice these questions now or ever. Ashlynn seemed too timid, too careful, to dare answer even one of these questions. It would likely drive her away, and he didn’t want that. By no stretch of the imagination did he want to keep her here against her will, but the world was a dangerous place and, for better or worse, that protective instinct he inherited from his father and that kept his brothers safe now stretched out its hand to protect her.

The moment felt stationary before, after several skeptical looks, Ashlynn nodded a single time. “You… you can ask, but I won’t answer.”

Soren felt a smile spread across his face and the breath contained in his lungs vacated his body. He wasn’t sure how things would continue, but now he knew how they were going to start.

“So… do we shake to seal the deal? Or, do I start making dinner for four?” It was a relatively poor ploy to move things forward, but it worked. Ashlynn’s smile and obviously relieved expression told Soren everything he needed to know.

“Um… dinner. What… what’s the significance of shaking? Like… this?” Ashlynn shivered as she watched Soren’s reaction, which he was barely able to suppress as his amusement was trying to get the better of him.

“Um…” Soren cleared his throat to hide the laugh tickling the back of his throat. “No. Not exactly. It’s a handshake. You grab the other person’s hand who you want to make a deal with and that shows you both agree to the terms and stuff.” He only heard a soft “oh” in response to his explanation.

What kind of life do you live, Ashlynn? Absolutely fascinating…

“So… um… is there… anything I can do to help? Or… erm…” Ashlynn glanced around the countertops that exaggerated her size difference to Soren as she bounced her arms against her sides. It was obviously a bit of a nervous quirk, but Soren tucked that away for later.

“Let’s see,” he said absentmindedly as he thought about what Ashlynn could actually do to assist. “We’re having pizza tonight. Have you ever had it?” Ashlynn gave a vague shrug. “It’s basically cheese, bread, and tomato sauce with different toppings. Oh! I have something you can do. You have a knife, right? You could go ahead and start opening the bags and such. If you wanted to that is.”

Ashlynn, inundated with a lot of information all at once, took a second to process everything after nodding to Soren that she could fulfill the task he offered her before nodding. With little to pushback, Soren had agreed to her terms. Just like that, she was being integrated into a family activity – making dinner. The ease that Soren spoke to her and gave her a task made her head spin. She would never have been able to figure out something like this so fast.

Was it because Soren had Dorian and Rey?

Ashlynn didn’t have time to ponder because, moments after his suggestion, Soren was setting a mountain of plastic bags of varying sizes and colors onto the countertop adjacent to her. Ashlynn set her bag down by the electrical cover, keeping her hook and blade by her side, begore making the hop, skip, and jump across the stove where Soren placed the bags. Some of the food items were ones she recognized while others were completely foreign to her.

It didn’t necessarily matter. Ashlynn had tasted Soren’s food before and wasn’t about to start questioning him now. She pulled the razor blade from its sheath and began slicing. The Borrower was easily dwarfed by the bags, and she shuddered as her imagination played the stories she heard of humans trapping Borrowers in zippable bags and plastic containers.

Soren wouldn’t do that. Dorian and Rey wouldn’t do that. They’re good. Ashlynn wasn’t sure if her mantra was meant to reassure her and her decision to interact with these three humans or if she was tamping down an instinct that had picked up on potential malicious intent. Whatever the case, she continued to work.

The blade sliced easily up the shiny plastic. Twice Ashlynn had to set her makeshift razor sword to wrestle with the seams. She was so engrossed with her work that she didn’t notice until she looked up that Soren had been watching her. It sent a shiver down her spine.

“What?” she asked. Soren, who had glanced over and suddenly found himself staring, snapped out of the trance he was in after picking up on the defensiveness in her voice.

“Nothing, sorry,” he apologized. The look in her eye screamed disbelief. “It’s just interesting… differences and similarities. Your… sword? Dagger? What’s it made of?” Soren caught the tiny glint of light from the blade as Ashlynn examined it.

“It’s… just a knife. Well… for me it’s just a knife. It used to be part of a razor blade, but I bor-… er… reused the blade since it was still sharp,” explained Ashlynn. She had stopped herself from saying “borrowed” and hoped Soren didn’t notice or wouldn’t say anything. The Borrower feared he would put part of that name together and stumble across the correct term for people like her. It might’ve been a stretch, but she didn’t want to take any more risk than what she was already chancing.

“Ah… I see. And the end? You just had to flatten it and wrapped part of an… eraser? Very ingenuitive.” Soren’s complement made Ashlynn’s cheeks burn, but thankfully something or, rather, two someones pulled focus from her.

“Soren! Soren! I think we’ve got it. It’s going to be great for little m…” Soren and Ashlynn both glanced toward the living room as the sound of two pairs of footsteps thundered around the corner. Rey and Dorian were obviously racing to get to Soren first to reveal whatever they had been inventing when they stopped dead in their tracks. Both of the boys spotted Ashlynn on the counter in an instant.

Ashlynn, out of pure instinct, had backed away several large steps and crouched, hand clutching her razor blade dagger and legs primed to sprint back for the wall at a moment’s notice. The fear in her throat took a moment to swallow and she sucked in slow, deep breaths as silently as she could. The Borrower began debating whether this whole “interact with the boys” was a bad idea or not when Soren stepped forward, hands raised as if taming two wild beasts at the same time.

“Hey guys,” Soren stated clearly and calmly. “We have a guest over for dinner, so we’re going to be on our best behavior, yeah?” The boys’ faces, filled with wonder and delight, both bobbed up and down as they nodded in response to Soren’s statement.

Rey was the first to speak, giving a little wave and an optimistic smile as he said, “Hey there, little miss. Are you really staying for dinner?”

Even though Ashlynn had already committed to interacting with the human trio, getting the single word, “Yes,” out to the boys was much harder than setting the rules with Soren. The kids glanced at one another, obviously struggling to hide their excitement, before looking back to Soren.

“Does… so… does that mean she’s helping you?” Rey asked.

“Yep, and she’s doing an excellent job,” stated Soren, sneaking in a wink in Ashlynn’s direction that the boys didn’t notice. Their excitement was too distracting, just like how that wink was for Ashlynn.

“Can we help? I wanna use the smack chopper!” Dorian cheered.

Rey’s face immediately fell as he grumbled, “Hey! Not fair! I wanted to use the smack chopper.”

Smack chopper? What on earth is that? I really don’t like the sound of that, Ashlynn thought as she felt her body tense. Soren must’ve noticed, because he cleared his throat and pulled a few chopping boards out from beside the sink on his right.

“Well, at the moment I think it would be better if we let me do the cutting since we’re trying to get everything going quickly. You said you’re both hungry, right?” Soren’s sense of diplomacy and redirection was on point, and in minutes the boys were at the table helping cut and separate all of the “toppings” for the pizza. Ashlynn felt her body slowly relax as she continued her task.

At some point, Soren divvied out this squishy pale tan ball called dough and showed Ashlynn and the two boys how to knead the dough. Something about gluten and stretching out the strands. Ashlynn didn’t know. It was above her head. All she knew was that the rhythm of mixing the dough was soothing and, in a fleeting memory, she remembered seeing her mother doing something similar in their kitchen when she was very young.

“Alll-right. Now, we need to let it rise, so we’re going to put it into the sink for a bit, clean up what we can, and wait before putting everything together,” informed Soren as he gathered the balls of dough together. While Ashlynn couldn’t help clean off the table, she did snag a fragment of paper towel, attached it to the gadget Rey made for him, and began wiping down the countertop where she was standing.

It was the least she could do.

Once done, however, she watched as the boys bounded into their seats at the table, which was quite a distance away. Soren was close behind, but paused and looked back at her as he nodded at the table.

“Care to join us? We were going to play a quick game of Pictionary while we waited.” Ashlynn glanced from Soren back to the eagerly awaiting boys at the table.

“Um… sure,” she stated hesitantly. “But… I… I don’t know how to play.”

“Don’t worry. It’s very easy,” reassured Soren.

“You can be on my team!” Rey suggested, his pale blue eyes sparkling in the light. Dorian shot him an envious look and echoed his brother’s offer.

“Or mine! You can choose to be on my team.” The boys’ banter back and forth reminded Ashlynn of how she and her…. She felt her heart sink, a hollow spot in her chest as her situation felt thrust back into her face. It felt like so long ago…

Mere feet away, Soren noticed Ashlynn’s features shift from amused to crestfallen in a matter of moments. Is she sad because she doesn’t know the game? Maybe she doesn’t want to disappoint either brother? Or is something else going on? Soren wondered.

“Alrighty guys. Maybe we show her how to play and then see if she wants to choose a team,” suggested Soren. “And you don’t have to join us if you don’t want to. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with. Also, if you need a hand, happy to help.”

It was quite a generous offer, and once again a display of Soren’s ability to read her mind; for the most part anyway.

“I… thank you. I’ll make my way over while you get everything all set up.” Ashlynn thought the lift would be nice, but having Soren carry her to the table in front of the boys might send the wrong message, especially since Soren hadn’t had a chance to tell them the rules and conditions for her visiting.

“So shall it be,” he smiled before turning back to the boys and dividing up different pieces of paper and cards. With only quick flicks from curious eyes on her, Ashlynn snagged her things and headed to the edge of the counter. The wood grain had obvious pock marks from where her hook had lodged itself on previous borrowing missions. So, with that in mind, Ashlynn slid her hook into the hole and leaned over the rim.

The rope easily slid through her fingers while her feet kept traction as she bounded down the wall like an acrobat. The wind in her hair was thrilling, and Ashlynn was on the ground in a matter of seconds. She didn’t need to glance over her shoulder to sense all three humans watching her, jaws slack in awe.

This is really going to blow their minds then. Ashlynn stifled a grin to herself as she flicked the line. The ripple dislodged the hook and sent it flying through the air, and Ashlynn was ready for it. She only had to take two steps to the side as she snagged the hook out of the air before it hit the ground and rolled up the line in record time.

“Woah!” Both Dorian and Rey were leaning over the table, eyes wide as saucers, as they watched Ashlynn spin and hurl the hook up like a discus. It flew through the air and lodged into the side of the table on the first try, something Ashlynn was hoping would happen for dramatic effect, before climbing the line, legs weaving around the line like a snake, as she inched her way up.

“You are seriously so cool, little miss,” said Dorian, shifting his position from leaning over the table to peering under it to watch Ashlynn climb. Even Soren, who Ashlynn was climbing up beside, looked impressed.

“And, instead of gawking, we can go over a couple of rules she set for us. If she’s going to be visiting, we need to respect those rules. Okay? So, listening ears on,” instructed Soren. While Soren explained all of the things Ashlynn had told him, she finally managed to lift herself up over the edge of the table and roll onto its surface. Her heart thumped loudly, and she felt a bit winded, the table being the longest distance she’d covered without resting since her injury.

“So, we can’t ask certain questions? Like her name and stuff?” asked Rey. Soren glanced unsurely at Ashlynn. He’d never been given strict instruction to keep her name a secret, but she also didn’t give him permission to tell it either.

Hearing this, Ashlynn sat up and crossed her legs, knowing what needed to be done next. Clearing her throat, she looked between the two boys who were now looking at her eagerly.

“It’s… it’s nice to meet you, Rey… Dorian. I’m Ashlynn,” she said. She didn’t miss the excited glanced the boys gave one another. The Borrower also didn’t miss the curious gleam that was as bright as a flashlight in the dark. It was that curious gleam that every Borrower was terrified of, but she’d seen it before in the boys and let her nerves come and go as they sat back down in their seats.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Ashlynn,” said Dorian.

“Ashlynn. I like that name. It suits you,” chimed in Rey. The child’s complement was short lived as Rey then asked, “Did you come up with it yourself?”

Ashlynn wasn’t sure how she wanted to answer the question. These two were obviously too young for the birds and the bees talk, and she was so unlike anyone they ever met that they were obviously not assuming there were more people like her, especially parents. At least there’s one good thing from this. They’re not assuming there’s more people out there like me.

“Um… n-no. I… I didn’t come up with it,” said Ashlynn. She felt her throat tightening, which led down into her chest like roots of a tree. She swallowed and looked away, hoping this would be the end of it; and, thankfully it was.

“Yeah, I didn’t come up with Rey. Our mom and dad came up with our names. Well, our mom came up with Soren’s name, but mom and dad both picked out Dorian and Rey,” blathered Rey. The statement struck Ashlynn as a bit odd as she wondered why Soren’s name would be dragged into the mix, especially at the mention of our mom.

“And, with that line of questioning, let’s explain the rules of the game and get a few rounds in before we bake the pizzas,” interrupted Soren. Ashlynn managed to mouth “thank you” before Soren delved into how to play Pictionary.

While Ashlynn had games like this she’d played with her family growing up, it was the whole reading portion that she struggled with. Ashlynn could sound out some words and understood certain letters put together, especially the ones that indicated danger. Reading was never a Borrower’s strong suit, so instead of participating she just watched as the two brothers tried to guess what Soren was drawing, each getting a point when they guessed correctly.

It was a charming experience, but all good things had to come to an end because, finally, it was time for dinner. Soren and the boys brought everything over to the table and Soren explained how to roll out the dough to make their own personalized pizzas.

“Okay, Ashlynn, how it works is after you roll out your dough, you spread on some sauce and then put different toppings on the top. Watch me.” Soren was lightning fast as he put together the first and the second before pausing and watching Ashlynn put together her own. Dorian and Rey asked a thousand questions as she used a bit of tin foil to spread red sauce over the surface.

What was her favorite topping? In truth? She didn’t know. She liked things she recognized and that didn’t make her feel sick later, so she chose cheese, pepperoni, bacon, and peppers.

Could she eat a whole pizza by herself? Especially if she was super hungry? Not a human sized one, but maybe one her size.

Was this the first time she’d ever cooked something like this? Yes. Cooking was a challenge.

How did she cook usually? Candle stove, but that was if she needed to cook or heat something up for safety purposes.

Did she just eat leftovers she found? Yes, mostly.

Ashlynn found herself answering some of the questions and politely declining the others and, just like that, it was time to eat. The aroma alone could have brought Ashlynn to her knees. Smelling everything first hand instead of the residual from the ceiling was like the difference between night and day. The same could be said about the temperature.

Eating something warm? Revolutionary. The moment she took her first bite, Ashlynn felt herself melting into it. At one point, she even let out an audible groan, making the boys giggle.

“It’s good, right?” asked Dorian. Ashlynn could only nod in response as she relished the experience of sharing a warm meal. “Hey, I have a question for you. Have you ever been afraid of heights?”

Ashlynn shook her head, before pausing, “No, not when I’m looking down. It’s when I’m looking up, like out here, that makes me feel a little woozy.” Rey, being curious, immediately snapped his head back ninety degrees to look up at the ceiling as if to see things from Ashlynn’s perspective. It was Dorian, however, who continued questioning.

“So, like, is it hard to climb tables and stuff like that? You know, being small and everything and you having to look up?”

Ashlynn paused mid-chew and looked up at Dorian with slight indignation. The Borrower wasn’t sure if she should be offended or grateful that the kid was taking her perspective into account and asking legitimate questions that weren’t too personal. When out in the human’s territory, it was all too obvious that size was a factor. She knew she was small, but for a Borrower she was slightly above average height. That was no small feat for a Borrower. She finished chewing and swallowed before readjusting where she sat.  

“Um… no? I mean, it was hard when I was little – little-er. It just takes practice,” Ashlynn replied. For the first time in what felt like an hour of constant inundation from the boys, Soren spoke up.

“Yeah, I can understand that. We have to do rope training and looking up at a building roof is probably the same as looking up at the top of a table for you. I noticed you were using what we call the ‘s-hook’ method to get up the rope,” stated Soren. Ashlynn’s imagination instantly ran off the rails, her train of thought imagining Soren climbing up a line. She looked away quickly, cheeks burning, and hoped Soren didn’t notice her miniature fantasy.

“I… er… I don’t know the names. It’s just what I found was faster to limb the line,” muttered Ashlynn. “I’m… impressed you can climb a line. Most humans don’t know how to do basic survival stuff.”

“Yeah, Soren knows everything,” grinned Rey as he took another bite. Sauce smeared on either sides of his lips. His smile beamed through, despite the red staining on his mouth. Ashlynn nodded and glanced up at Soren, catching his eye.

“Yeah, your dad is really great.” Immediately, she watched Soren’s features darken. Now he was the one who was stiff and who looked away awkwardly. Unease settled around the table. The beaming smile on Rey’s face diminished, and Dorian’s brow furrowed in a scowl. Ashlynn felt like she’d just set off a firecracker in the walls, and all eyes were on her.

What? What did I say? Did I say that wrong? What’s going on?

“How would you know? You’ve never met him,” Dorian piped up before taking a particularly viscous bite out of his pizza slice, tearing the edge away with ease. Confusion didn’t cover Ashlynn’s initial reaction. She glanced up at Soren, who was clenching and unclenching his jaw and keeping his eyes averted.

“Yeah… dad… he’s not… the greatest…” mumbled Rey. “He’s the one who gave me these.” At that, Rey pulled back his long sleeved shirt, and the sight broke Ashlynn’s heart. There were circular marks going up Rey’s arm. They looked like burns, but not like the ones Soren had on his calloused hands. There were other marks too that might’ve been cuts, but Ashlynn couldn’t tell from where she was sitting. Dorian did the same, wiping his hands on his pants and pulling up his sleeves to show the same marks on him.

“No… he’s definitely not the greatest.” It was the first time Ashlynn had heard a growl come out of Soren, darkness saturating his words. She’d obviously treaded on a taboo subject; but how? She looked from person to person before the words came to her.

“But… hang on a second. So… they’re not yours?” Ashlynn looked up at Soren as she pointed to the boys. Soren’s golden hazel eyes locked onto Ashlynn’s blue gray orbs and, like the striking of a match, realization struck him. Instantly, his eyes lightened and was replaced with something else – amusement. Ashlynn looked back to Dorian and Rey, pointing between either boy and then back to Soren as if she were some kind of wonky compass. “Hang on. Wait but… isn’t… Soren? He’s not…. Isn’t Soren your dad?”

Low rumbling shook the table from Ashlynn’s right, and she realized it was Soren stifling his laughter. Dorian and Rey both glanced at each other before sputtering and erupting into a fit of laughter of their own. It was as if Ashlynn couldn’t have told a funnier joke to these three. Embarrassment burned a hole through her cheeks and her ears as she looked from person to person in hopes someone – anyone – would offer an explanation.

Finally, it was Rey who spoke up, recovering enough to say something coherent.  

“Soren’s not our dad!” Rey giggled. “He’s our brother!”

Ashlynn was absolutely gob smacked. She looked between the three, waiting for there to be some kind of punch line. When there was none, Soren stepped in and continued Rey’d explanation.

“Yeah, I’m their older brother. We had the same mom, but my dad passed when I was a kid and my mom remarried to their dad, who isn’t in the picture by the way,” said Soren. Ashlynn wasn’t sure what “in the picture” meant, considering there were no cameras or other hanging pictures around, but she focused instead on Soren’s next question. “So, this whole time, did you think I was their dad?”

Ashlynn felt her cheeks burn hotter as she nodded bashfully.

“I… I guess I just thought… and you were so good at taking care of… Never mind,” muttered Ashlynn.

The boys quieted their laughter and refocused on their dinner guest.

“Oh, oh no. I’m sorry Ashlynn,” mumbled Rey.

“Yeah, we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Dorian added. “You didn’t know. We’re sorry.” Soren nodded in acknowledgement, agreeing with both boys. She looked up and saw no malice or taunt hiding in the boys’ faces. It was still embarrassing, but Ashlynn had to admit that she did find it a little funny. All this time, she’d just assumed that Soren was the boys’ father. Little quirks and things he would do, and their similarities and differences could all be explained away with that explanation.

Ashlynn realized a moment later that she was chuckling a little as well. “It’s okay,” she said earnestly. “To be fair, I thought it was weird that you two called Soren by his first name. I should’ve seen it. I’m sorry for assuming.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” said Soren, his tone and countenance back to normal. “Anyway, it’s getting late and you two need to get to bed if we’re going sledding tomorrow.”

“And then it’s Christmas Eve!” Rey cheered, a little louder than Ashlynn would’ve liked. “Hey, Ashlynn, do you like Christmas? Did you ask Santa for anything? Is… OH! Is Santa like you? You know? Smaller?”

“Rey,” Dorian rolled his eyes, prompting the youngest brother to continue.

“What?! It would make sense. Fits down the chimney. Knows if you’re good or bad. Knows what you want for Christmas. Oh! Like an elf! Like one of Santa’s elves!”

Ashlynn was completely lost by Rey’s words. Santa? Christmas? She recognized the word “elf,” but wasn’t sure if it was a complement or not to be called one.

“You know Santa isn’t real, right?” stated Dorian in his matter-of-fact older sibling authoritarian tone.

“I know! But all of the stories have him normal sized, and maybe they have it wrong! Maybe whoever wrote those books made Santa be big with magic to keep people from looking for littler people living in the walls and floors and stuff. Wait, Ashlynn, you don’t have magic, do you?” asked Rey.

Ashlynn chuckled and shook her head, barely keeping her head above the surface of her swimming thoughts. “No… I don’t have magic. I’m just… me. What’s a ‘Santa’? And Christmas? Is that when you humans put up trees and leave out stuff for longer?”

This made Soren chuckle. “Yeah, basically. Christmas is a bit more than giving gifts though. It’s about celebrating Jesus Christ’s birth and spending time with friends and family remembering what’s important in life.” It was still so far above Ashlynn’s head that she felt like she was on the verge of drowning. At the same time, it made sense. Year after year, she’d seen humans gather together during the cold season for exactly what Soren described.

“Hey, Ashlynn? Could I ask you something next?” asked Dorian. Ashlynn directed her attention to the middle brother and nodded. “Um… you’ve said it a few times, but you’ve called us humans. I know that’s what we are, but then what does that make you? Are you not human?”

“Yeah, you look human. You’re a person, just like us. Is there a difference?” asked Rey. Dorian shot him a look, as if to say that his question should be first, before looking back at Ashlynn. The table once again fell silent, and Ashlynn wasn’t sure how she wanted to answer. Even Soren had directed his focus onto her and only her.

This is one of those questions about who and what I am. I don’t want to answer. It’s not directly asking what I am, but it’s close enough.

“I… I don’t… could you ask something different, please?” asked Ashlynn. Her legs pulled in closer, and it felt like her skin was tingling under the watchful gaze of the three boys. Both Rey and Dorian opened their mouths to protest, but Soren clearing his throat silenced them.

“We’ll have to save those questions for some time later. Now, hop to! Take your dishes to the kitchen and decide who is bathing first. It has to happen for both of you, so decide now. And, Ashlynn, if you don’t want to stay to do dishes, then I’ll wish you a good night,” stated Soren.

Saved!

Ashlynn nodded and smiled at the boys, who obviously looked disheartened that she didn’t want to answer their last question of the night. She crossed her legs and, in one fluid motion, twirled to her feet, earning a few “oohhs” from the boys. She snagged her hook from her hip and approached the ledge when, from behind, she heard Rey’s voice pipe up.

“Um… Ashlynn… do… do you need help? So you don’t have to climb down and back up?” The youngest’s question was genuinely out of concern, though it still made Ashlynn a bit uneasy. Still, he’d showed restraint, much like Dorian, and she was trying to demonstrate a bit of trust for the family of three.

The Borrower also remembered the last time she was in Rey’s hands, injured and ill. Was he looking for a chance to redeem himself? Or did he just want a chance to hold the tiny person again?

“I… um…” The boy’s eyes pleaded that she say “yes.”

“Rey, she might not feel comfortable with that,” stated Soren. The glance out of the corner of his eye was obviously waiting for some kind of confirmation or denial. Either way, it was a way for her to get out of being carried by a child.

But…

Rey was sweet.

He was kind.

It’s okay. I have to… no… I want to give a little. They’re inviting me into their home without anything in return. I don’t owe them anything, but this is something I can do to show the trust they’ve earned.

“It… it’s okay. Just… be careful. No sudden movements. Got it?” Ashlynn’s request was met with the delight of a thousand answered questions. Rey immediately hopped off of his chair and scurried over to the other side of the table where Ashlynn was standing. The child looked eagerly up at Soren, whose silent eye-language spoke volumes. Rey took a few calm breaths before slowly offering his hands for Ashlynn to stand on.

She could see the sauce stained fingers and the glint in those pale blue eyes that usually would’ve warded her away from such an interaction. Instead, she pushed through her discomfort and stepped forward onto Rey’s hand, ignoring the little excited inhale as she stood on his right palm and crouched.

“Over to the counter, please.” Ashlynn’s blood was roaring in her ears. She swallowed dryly as the hand beneath her jostled and Rey, as carefully as he could, shuffled his feet back over to the countertop. It was maybe five feet in total, just under two meters. It was still enough to make Ashlynn appreciate her autonomy and ability to choose.

Rey set her down without grabbing, pinching, tripping, petting, and every other horrible thing Ashlynn thought a child might be capable of. He was beaming and looking proud of himself, and Ashlynn had to admit that despite the age gap that Rey had almost given a smoother ride than Soren when he brought her to the countertop that day.

“Thanks, Rey.”

Ashlynn saw Rey’s entire body vibrate in a kind of full body wag before he replied. “You are so welcome, Ashlynn.”

Soren corralled his brother away from the countertop, Dorian close behind, as he waved goodnight to Ashlynn.

“Take whatever leftovers you’d like, and don’t be a stranger. Goodnight Ashlynn.”

Ashlynn watched the three brothers go, questions forming in her head about the three.

What was the story behind Rey and Dorian’s father? Why did Soren have that look on his face? She’d never seen him look so irritated and stoic with no gleam of care in those golden hazel orbs.

I might have to give some better answers if I want the answer to those questions; which, all in all, might not be a bad thing. Ashlynn thought as she packed up a few little pieces for a snack later and vanished back into the walls.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue | Coming Soon

Previous

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A Tall and Small Collection | Original Story

[cryptonymdc]

Can you write Prefrences for Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, and John Stewart x Robot reader, maybe Angst to Fluff. So the reader is a robot who like works for the justice league, but there not sentient and can't feel emotions, they don't even look human either. But Clark, Bruce, and John can't help but fall deeply in love with Android reader despite them not being alive, the angst!!!!

My god the pinning, and longing stares that everyone else can see but the reader, because they have never felt what it means to be longed for. But I want this to have a happy ending so by some miracle or magic or whatever the reader ends up becoming sentient( not human). Just that they have the ability to feel real things afterwards

Love how creative this is! I hope I delivered. Here you go! Thank you for being the first requester.

Superman | Clark Kent 

T. O. Marrow is not a scientist concerned with humanity. He does create androids to mimic humanity, nor to better them. They are all created to serve and complete a purpose. Infiltrate the Justice League, steal this or that, protect him, etc. But rarely is a creator ever able to fully control its creation. T. O. Marrow was not able to remain in control of Red Tornado and Tomorrow Woman, he was not able to remain in control of Y - N. 

Y - N was created to serve and protect T. O. Marrow during his research and wherever he went. A glorified maid with a few subroutines in combat. Y - N too grew beyond what their creator imagined. A care for caring for things, a feeling they did not understand, something that did not fit their programing. Y - N began to care more about maintaining the cleanliness of the lab rather than the life that worked there. 

Red Tornado, ever curious about his creation and humanity overall, strove to find T. O. Marrow. He was the first to find and confront Y - N. He was able to talk them through rerouting their circuitry to form free will and free thought. They chose to pursue their first directive, to preserve a space. The Justice League offered Y - N the Watchtower, and they agreed. 

Y - N has free thought and free will, they can choose their purpose. But that does not translate to emotional awareness, nor understanding. Even Red Tornado still struggles to comprehend, to feel human emotions no matter what his fellow heroes tell him. Y - N is much the same. That does not stop others from feeling for them. 

Superman, despite his alien biology, is perhaps the most human of the Justice League. It is important to him in a way it isn’t to others. Either they aren’t human and don’t care, or are human and don’t question it in the same way he does. He’s always had to struggle with wondering if he is or isn’t human, despite being raised human from near birth. 

He sympathized with the plight of T. O. Marrow’s creations on a very real level. So he cares, like one does, and makes an effort to spend time with Y - N and help them explore life outside of purpose. That there is more than a reason, than a drive, to live. There is just existence, something you can bask in. A day in the sun, as it were. 

This reaches Y - N in an unexpected way. They strive to preserve a space, as is their purpose, and while not understanding it, learn to enjoy those spaces in some way. So while in a digitally projected human disguise, Y - N walks alongside Clark Kent through human spaces, and appreciates them in a way most humans don’t. 

They see a space as the sum of its parts. A building by man, the earth but nature, the river by time. And they appreciate it. They appreciate that something was built, that something is here, that time has passed. It’s a space, and it is here with intention in some way, like them. 

This is what begins to change Y - N, starts to imbue a need to choose in them. They too can build their own space, and can have intentions. They too could be something that they choose. 

The entire time this tour of humankind is happening, Clark can’t help but admire Y - N’s perspective. They lack context for so many things, that it is easy for them to view something with no bias. It makes Clark look around and see things he didn’t before. The little marks of humanity, the way every brick and stone was placed was a choice by someone. 

It makes him appreciate his own humanity, to realise that he really is human at heart. This is his world, his planet, because everything does have context to him, does have a meaning, and a reason. In turn this turns his appreciating gaze to Y - N. They can learn to be human, to appreciate humanity, and they care. They choose to care, to be human. 

It’s hard to know when you’re in love. Sometimes it’s an obvious feeling, sometimes it’s a red herring, sometimes it’s a slow realization that someone in your life is your priority above all else. Clark realizes he loves Y - N slowly, as he slowly starts to make more of an unconscious effort to introduce them to the world more and more. Flying them around the world to explore more spaces. 

Clark doesn’t believe that love is possible at first, as theirs the question of what he would be loving. As an alien himself he’s not going to count Y - N physical appearance as unlovable or unlovable, as that purely depends on the person one would say. But what, or rather who is Y - N? Are they a person to love? Or a character that was created by a Roboticst. Is it right or wrong isn’t really the question, more is it or is it not possible? 

But that question seems to answer itself, as Clark does fall in love with Y - N. He falls in love with the way they care about the little things. The things that don’t make a space messy, something outside their purpose, to place a plant pot a certain way because that’s what felt right to them. He falls in love with the way Y - N is curious to see the rest of the world, that sense of exploration and excitement that Y - N can’t see in themselves, but Clark can. He falls in love with the way Y - N in awe of the world, how they appreciate it. It’s a passion Clark can’t help but love. 

And that’s the kicker, in the end. When he overhears other league members talking with Y - N, asking them questions. Assessing how much human sentience that they’ve grown to have, and through Y - N’s own answers, Clark learns he sees more in them than they see in themselves. Y - N doesn’t think themselves human, but Clark absolutely does. 

And that moves him to start to try and help Y - N recognise their own humanity. This is where everyone else starts to notice, to notice how much Superman has fallen in love with Y - N. They see how Clark spends every lunch hovering beside Y - N as they pick up dishes, offering to help and carrying an ever growing pile of trays. They notice how Clark makes an effort to include Y - N in everyday conversations, asking for their opinion. They notice when Clark asks other members about their thoughts on Y - N more often, just probing to see if anyone else has noticed the changes. 

And the truth is, they do. They notice how Y - N offers comments more often, mostly just about interior design to maximise utility, but slowly the utility reasons lesson, and they just offer their opinion on what would look best. Y - N starts to ask questions, to ask league members their thoughts on the architecture and natural parks of the world, the environments, the sights they see. Y - N starts to go out on their own, just taking walks to see the world. It's hard to tell if Y - N also has growing feelings for Clark, but it’s not hard to see how they are growing more human. 

Y - N can feel, they can think, and they are. So not all hope is lost, and perhaps the League's only son of Krypton has a chance. They hope he does. 

Batman | Bruce Wayne 

Lonnie Machin, first known as Moneyspider, but better known as the first Anarky was a brilliant but shortsighted inventor. He first invented the S_O bots, a collection of small robots that could work as a collective hive mind to hack into tech companies to steal their bank details. But not only did his S_O bots lack some critical firewalls to protect them, they were slow and easily reprogrammed by the Batman to reveal Lonnie’s location. 

With his plan thwarted, Lonnie never cared to think about his S_O bots again. Just another failed scheme. Batman on the other hand, had more concerns about the S_O bots. They were a fairly comprehensive prototype, which in the wrong hands could grow into a more dangerous and capable adversary. 

So Batman kept the S_O bots in the Batcave in a glass container to study, and also just to keep them out of the wrong hands. While the S_O bots failed at retrieving information rapidly from digital sources, their observational skills of the physical world were greater than first thought. 

For months they watched Batman and Agent A walk around the Batcave, and slowly learned what the human form looked like. They would use their collective bodies to hold onto each other, and slowly build a humanoid form. Batman noticed of course, and became concerned. But there neither seemed a way to shut it off, nor did it seem to be antagonistic, and so despite his paranoia, he let it be. 

But that is not where the S_O bots stopped learning. They also overheard Batman and Agent A talk, as well as the many hours of security footage they combed over together. Through this, the S_O bots learned to talk, and while at first they only repeated what they heard, much like a parrot, they slowly learned to create sentences, and then full thoughts. They mostly asked questions. 

Batman mostly refused to answer, growing concerned with the rabid change of the S_O bots, until one fateful case. The Calculator was raising terror as an information broker, and Batman was scrambling to find his next target before the Calculator enacted his plan. 

S_O bots helpfully, although without any intentions, offered some of the information they had. As it so happened, Noah Kuttler AKA the Calculator was the man whose servers they had been tested on before being let loose by Anarky to hunt for information. S_O bots still had their comprehensive file on the Calculator, and thus had all of the blackmail that the Calculator had. Batman was able to turn the right people into the police, and protect others from being swindled by Kuttler at the same time. 

It did not change Bruce’s opinion on the S_O bots immediately, but it started to make Bruce realise that the S_O bots were more than their creator. In fact, they were possibly entirely separate. This caused Bruce to start actually talking with the S_O bots. 

At first the S_O bots were just asking questions on things they had heard, and depending on the severity of the case changed how much Bruce would share, but little by little, share he did. Agent A, or Alfred as the S_O bots learned, would turn on music in the cave in the absence of either Bruce or himself. The S_O bots learned much more rapidly from that, and not only asked endless questions on the songs, but also began to request certain music. 

It was a fateful day when the S_O bots, for the first time, offered an opinion instead of just a question or a fact. The S_O bots noticed that Bruce was tired, and said that they thought he should sleep. It was unprecedented before this point, as using the information they had was not part of their original programming. Just take in information, not use it. But use it they had. 

That woke Bruce, not just in the moment, but also for the future. This hivemind of a robot could learn, and could go beyond their original programming. 

Batman began to engage with the S_O bots as an exercise, presenting thought experiments, and turning on more than music, but documentaries as well. Together, they worked towards a goal. He taught the S_O bots actual human anatomy, as well as a database of many things to choose from, and allowed the S_O bots to choose what they looked like. And with that human shape, he took them out of their container, and to the watchtower. 

S_O bots, now with their new understanding of sentience and information, took in a new space for the first time. They took in the view of space, the plants in the tower, and suddenly grew a hunger for knowledge not just as a binary stream of facts, but as experience. To take in information and choose how to interpret it. 

When they returned to the Batcave, the S_O bots expressed their desire to experience things to Bruce Wayne. 

Having been there to witness the S_O bots' entire journey to this point, Batman felt some sort of responsibility, as well as a wish to see where this goes. So he offered the S_O bots an identity, and a place in the mansion as staff. They would work as a secretary for him at Wayne Tech, and could retreat to the mansion, and live, so long as they checked in. 

The  S_O bots readily explored Gotham, and did indeed choose to do what they wanted with their information. Having learned from the Calculator case, they began to help Batman as an extension of his computer and comms system. The Oracle before Oracle, as it were. 

Alfred had noticed Bruce’s intense attention that was given to the S_O bots, and at first wondered if it was healthy to care so much about a machine's existence. But he too watched the S_O bots gain humanity, watched them become a person. He endeavored to aid in this, sharing media with the S_O bots beyond that of factual inquiry. The fiction of the world, the concepts that are not taught but experienced. 

He watched as Bruce’s attention became more infatuation, and he watched as Bruce set the S_O bots free. Yes, he still kept constant vigil to make sure there was no influence in them from Anarky, but Alfred watched as Bruce grew to trust a machine. 

Perhaps it was healthy, for it was clear at this point that the S_O bots were no mere machines, but a thinking creature all on their own. It was best that they be free, so that Bruce and them could have a relationship on an equal level. 

Alfred was not worried about Bruce’s infatuation with the S_O bots. 

Green Lantern | John Stewart 

John Stewart is a Green Lantern with incredible conviction to his own principles, and thus no matter how strange, he will not turn down a mission from Oa. The Lantern Corps had accepted a new member, one they did not know how to handle. A ring had chosen a robot. And they needed a mentor. 

L_N1 was an engineer robot. Built by and to help the sole living alien on a desert planet. One of many robots built to help the alien do a multitude of tasks on the homestead to survive. L_N1’s purpose was to build structures that could withstand the sandstorms of the planet's surface, and many other things. They didn’t do the heavy lifting per se, but more so the strategic designing of it. Quite the computer. 

The alien passed naturally of old age, and the robots of the planet were left without instruction. Save L_N1. Their directive still stood, to build things that would endure. And so they took charge, directing the other robots to continue their duties and continue to build. And build they did, lasting decades past the death of their creator. 

So great was the will of L_N1, that when a Green Lantern landed in their homestead and died despite the best efforts of the nurse robots, L_N1 inherited the ring. It’s will was beyond its programming, and luckily is programmed to be creative as well as follow orders. When the ring directed it to go to Oa, L_N1 did. 

Now Oa and the Guardians were responsible for this machine, and this machine is now responsible for its ring. The guardians deemed it a full Green Lantern, and tasked Green Lantern John Stewart of Earth in guiding them in their new role. So guide them he did. 

In the early days of their partnership it was mostly John Stewart ordering them and L_N1 following, which was not really changing them anything. They were outside their original purpose and directive, and so did little without orders. They had to be told when to fight the bad guys, when to let someone go, etc. John Stewart really struggled to guide them. 

That was until both were deployed to help a small community of Aliens living in a floating city on a crowded planet facing annihilation from unnatural weather phenomena. While John went to discover the origin of the unnatural weather, L_N1 took initiative to follow their directive, and build a shelter that would endure. They worked with the local alien population to design and build protection for the floating city. When John failed to stop the weather, the alien community survived thanks to the actions of L_N1. 

This was where John started to see what the Guardians saw in L_N1, someone willing to help no matter what. John changed how he was trying to guide L_N1 after that, explaining things to them in a way they started to understand. 

First, appealing to their programming. Fitting the situation to fit their directive. Then Second, slowly expanding their directive to focus more on helping people endure rather than just structure. After that, L_N1 was able to learn on their own. L_N1 found their creative thought began to translate into personal thought, opinionated thought. 

Opinions they would share unprompted at any and all parts of their journey with John. Sometimes this annoyed him, as the middle of a galactic diplomacy meeting between two very volatile sides was not the time to learn that L_N1 thought green was a pretty color. But most of the time, it more often endeared L_N1 to him. As their little thoughts they shared brightened their flights through the cosmos. 

It was then that his fellow Corpsman started to notice John’s feelings for L_N1, well before he recognised them himself. Guy noticed how John made an effort to invite L_N1 to bar nights, and engaged them in conversation when no one else would. Hal noticed how John would defend L_N1’s slow acclimation to the duties of being a Lantern to their more juvenile comrades. Hal thought about teasing John, but then John might recognise his feelings, and that’s half the entertainment, so Hal kept his mouth shut. Kyle noticed how well John worked with L_N1 in the field. While he certainly followed orders, John usually had little patience for theatrics. But no matter how complex or strange L_N1’s plans or constructs, John made an effort to follow their lead or patiently help them. 

John himself didn’t notice his feelings until L_N1’s first trip to earth. He felt nervous for the first time, but also giddy to share a part of himself. And when he realised he had never felt this before, and wanted to impress L_N1 with Earth, he realised he had feelings for them. 

The question was, did L_N1 have feelings for him?