#but. disappointing lack of toxic yuri

[alphadogmp3]

just finished a starstruck odyssey and i am disappointed by the lack of toxic yuri in the fandom. where are the margaret encino / jan de la vega fics. why aren't there more marge/lucy fics post canon. why does the d20 fandom hate women /j

[femmefighter]

Incoming rant - please scroll past to avoid this downer if you want.

I'm so disappointed in all of the events/fanart/servers/works etc that treat the Ahsoka series like the WolfWren or the SabEzra show. I got so heavily into Star Wars because of one character: Ahsoka. I was so freaking excited when they announced her live action series, and even more excited when, on viewing the trailer, saw that it was going to centre around multiple strong female characters! Seriously, I would jabber on to even non-Star Wars friends about how excited I was about the push of female characters in this show. And awesome female characters at that!!

I go looking for fan-created merch, be it artwork or clothing etc, and I am left so freaking wanting because everything is WolfWren. I am so starved for content that is of the main character of the show, I am at a complete loss at how the fandom has turned its back on such an incredible character for favour of a non-canon, self-proclaimed-toxic-yuri ship.

I know, I know, ship and let ship. I'm totally down with that. I love fandom art and fanfiction in general. I love me some gorgeous WolfWren art (not a SabEzra shipper, but that's a separate rant that we don't need to air, but I love their sibling relationship!). I might even love a bit of WolfWren fanfiction (very occasionally). And I have found one small, safe space on a server where I can safely indulge in my tiny little Sokabine tugboat of a ship (on Bo-Katan-centric server of all places, WTF? But damn I am so grateful for that space and those moderators). I know my ship is niche, (I don't know how, but anyway) I know I'm not going to find anyone who is as die-hard over my ship as I am. I expected that.

What I didn't expect was to find myself so lacking in Ahsoka-the-character content in fandom spaces supposedly dedicated to the Ahsoka show. Everyone loves a good ship, but the lack of other ships that could be celebrated from the show (NightDaughter, Herasoka, MonHera, ShinSoka, Morgbine, whatever!) I find is reflective of a lack of interest in the character traits of the individuals. To me, it seems like fans are more interested in an aesthetic than they are on histories, values and idiosyncrasies of the characters themselves.

Anyway, if you've got to the end of this rant, thank you for reading. Again, I don't mean to hate on such ships. I was actually just as excited as everyone else at how the actors validated WolfWren as a ship to enjoy, considering it was femslash fanfiction that made me feel less alone when I was a closeted teen nearly two decades ago. I'm just frustrated at the lack of space in the fandom for content that is different.

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko Ch 158 Thoughts

This might be the worst chapter. I want to love my favorite manga. I really do. I guess we can't always have nice things

So Nino and Hikaru killed Ryosuke. I assume that's meant literally and not talking him into suicide. Well, okay, but it's a lot more powerful for Ryosuke to have taken his life out of guilt and despair

Akane is doing something in Miyazaki. She finally has plot relevance again. It probably won't last long

Now to the main event. What is the point of Ruby getting knifed besides shock value? Ai's death was a catalyst for the plot and a statement on toxic fandom/obsession, expectations of purity, and how (subtextually) Ichigo's and (textually) her mother's neglect led to a lack of awareness about her safety: "they didn't teach us [to use door chains] in the children's home." Most importantly, Ai realized she loved her kids

Ruby's stabbing says what, exactly? If this was well-written, I could see it being narratively satisfying to go full circle

However, we have seen Ruby experience very little of the above except for the kind of ham-fisted monologue she gives about the impermanence of idols (i.e. expectations of youth and beauty)

Which is an odd speech because it propositions Ai as a shining jewel immortalized by being brutally murdered. Huh? If that was framed as incredibly dark it might work, but it isn't

Of course this is about obsession and idolization, but that's already well-established in better ways

The parallels between Ruby and Ai seem forced and it's all mixed up with how Ruby is not Ai. Sure, there are similarities like the awful way their mothers treated them and her carrying Ai's genes and onstage presence

But Ruby stated in ch 137 that she wouldn't be like Ai

By the way, I hate this so much. It's fine to strive not to repeat your mom's mistakes, but how about some recognition of why Ai was like that

And what the hell is with ch 147's "I'll become an idol that surpasses my mom." That was never Ruby's goal. She wanted to fulfill Ai's wishes (she didn't really understand Ai's wishes, but anyway) and live the life she dreamed of as Sarina

AND WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO MY GIRL NINO. I half-joked before that I was eating up the toxic yuri and I am, sort of, because yuri is my jam, even psycho lesbian yuri

But Nino has been reduced to a paper thin villain. In the side story 45510, Nino was a complex character

In the chapter where she met Ruby, we also saw some of that in terms of her regret for treating Ai poorly

Now she's a joke. Would the Nino of 45510 stab the daughter of her obsession? I dunno, maybe, but how about a little internal conflict over that. How about anything that doesn't reduce her to a one dimensional villain whose only thought is Ai being the best idol

I've spilled too many words already so I'll just briefly mention Kana's graduation concert being all about Ruby. The story seemed to be leaning towards some Kana centric chapters what with her confession to Aqua and her graduation, but I guess not

Oh, and what the hell is this art. Compare:

Mengo phoned this in. Look at the right panel: the flowers, the way Ai's hair is all over the place, the more natural pose, the details of her billowing dress, even the knife looks more natural. It's brilliant. The Ruby panel looks like a cheap knockoff

I don't care if this is not real, it should look impactful

And if it a fake out, that will be so, so bad

Btw Nino picking up a plain hoodie at the dollar store to imitate Ryosuke (doesn't she hate him for killing Ai? Or was she involved in that?) is hilarious

And so, Oshi no Disappointment strikes again.

On the plus side, I'm very much not well with my obsession over Ai, and her character has remained strong throughout the story. So no matter how bad things get, I'll still be a fairly happy camper at the end of the day.

Next week: This was all according to keikaku. The knife has been switched out for a rubber one. Aqua is on the sidelines filming it so that they throw Nino in jail. The fandom collectively groans.

[anonymouscheeses]

Im both disappointed and glad no one has made a helluva boss hazbin hotel au where stolitz is replaced by chaggie(I'm not even sure if there is a hb hh au? Hopefully or probably not). Because huskerfuck wouldn't really work like that? At least not in the hierarchy that hazbin already sets. I'm not asking for a hb au with chaggie, that- that would ALSO be toxic asf. I'd like my yuri healthy thank you very much

But its fun to imagine what things would look like if they were switched. Like stolas and Angel are the most similar cuz... ofc. But Husk is too chill for Blitz. And tbe dynamic would more fit chaggie. Cuz princess and sinner? Ya I can see thag

Idk I was watching a full moon review and was thinking about the ranking system within the hellaverse.... and the lack of it even being included in hazbin. At all. Bruh. Like what's the point of making helluva boss all about the hierarchy and the prejudice and etc etc. But then make it to actually just barely be anything important socially?? And it's not even once mentioned withing hazbin. "But Charlie is the princess" no one respects her so that falls flat 😭

Yah. Jst a useless rant. I wanted to just ramble about the useless hierarchy that crossed my mind for a second

[flying-bear-tv]

Some stuff i noticed in the fionna and cake finale + betty theroy

# 1 Prismo's face glitch

This one is pretty self explanatory. for a frame prismos face glitches for no reason. I cant think of something we have seen that would explain this.

#2 After credits apple

After the credits there is a short animation of two shapes morphing into an apple. I thought this was a logo or something unrelated at first so I reversed image searched the apple but I couldn't find anything. So if its not related to a company it should be related to the show right? The shapes and bow for sure remind me of golbetty and apples have appeared multiple times (mostly use to shrink in size) This probably is important.

#3 Season One

The image on the left is a promotional poster for the show. On the bottom it gives the date episodes will start airing. Notice the lack of "Season One" near the top. The image on the right Is for the show's soundtrack which was released yesterday. All im gonna say is if I were producing a 10 episode miniseries I wouldn't want to specifically label it as season one if there was only one season.. And I definitely wouldn't only put that on promotional materials AFTER the season was done airing. I bet $72 there will be a season 2.

OKEY GUYS IT TIME TO TALK ABOUT BETTY1!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!! :]

Adventure time season 6 episode 43. The Comet. yea im bringing this up.

I saw a post saying this means "comet". It has the same number of characters as the bus sign but I no idea where they found how to read this. I think it makes sense though and I'll tell you why

As Simon is flying away from golbetty he sees her do this .. Notice the color of the light (electricity?? fire?) I also think she changes shape a bit. the image on the left is her when she first electricitys herself and the image one the right is a few seconds later. I'm not gonna draw any conclusions on why this is right now.

Now back to Adventure Time ;]

In The Comet finn witnesses several of his reincarnations. The two shown are a comet and a butterfly.

Now IF the bus is saying golbettys destination is "comet" this HEAVILY implies reincarnation as comets are directly tied to this in adventure time. Also notice how the electricity golbetty is using is THE EXACT SAME FUCKING COLOR AS THE COMET. And what does simon wake up to after seeing golbetty do that.

A FUCKING BUTTERFLY I AM GOING TO LOSE IT. she is kissing him

I think what happened is by Simon and Betty both moving on from their toxic yuri relationship Betty's wish to keep simon safe was realized. Because tbh the thing that was mostly likely to hurt Simon was his own indifference to life and tendency to self sacrifice. I mean, he was completely ready to say goodbye to his sanity multiple times JUST that episode.

This allowed Betty to separate from golb because she no longer needed its power. She gave simon and kiss, and then fucked off to do butterfly shit.

Even if im wrong this show was so beautiful TvT I really needed it. I totally understand if yall are disappointed because simon and betty didn't get a happy ending together but. They really needed to move on. And who knows.. maybe we'll get a season two ;) bye

Oh and the scarab fight scene was way too long and bringing jay and little destiny back was weird and forced.

[ohmeadows]

i'm sure i'm going to say some things people find controversial and shitty and i'll bite that bullet today. i've been wrangling with this in private for quite some time and this post isn't going to offer an answer nor a solution either, but:

it's been really tiresome seeing more and more of the fandom shoving itself into a narrow box to be palatable. it's noticeable in fics, in art, in the way people talk about it on twitter. the quick solution is of course to step away from all social media entirely and just run your own machine, and that'd be ideal, but none of us create in a vacuum and frankly i like talking to the people i have met through this fandom.

it's gotten especially glaring with the yuri-side of things. more and more i feel like i have to perform a purer self than i am to be acceptable in these spaces. that i have to soften things, make it nicer, less ""angsty"", less complex and complicated. people throw around "omg toxic yuri" and then blanch at the mere mention of some manipulation or fighting.

at the same time, there's a degree of entitlement that keeps hitting me at surprise turns. i posted about being less active for a while due to going into ED treatment and got asked when i would update a fic wip. (needless to say i postponed any update of that for at least three months.)

a friend, also active in the fandom but on the yaoi side of things, said it had observed how there's something about the entrenched entitlement on yuri side where the fans know how to wield it to get what they want, making writers and artists chase whichever trend or ship is popular at the moment. there's something there that touches upon a repeated feeling i've had, a kind of... chasing the wheel instead of being able to linger and enjoy.

not to mention that this week, the kafhime week declared it wouldn't allow nsfw content, which felt... rough for all the nsfw creators who wanted to participate. thankfully, a nsfw kafhime week was created in response to give them space to create and celebrate the ship together, but still. it doesn't feel great that we are always a kind of... side thought. an unwanted presence.

so there's not a singular cause or thread, but multiple intertwining to create an atmosphere that doesn't feel great to create in. the distinct lack of community spirit and mindset is really disappointing to wrestle with at times.

again, i don't really have any solutions, just reflecting on where we are at, and how it feels to be here.

[rarepairronpa]

real girls

She sighs. A resigned sound. Maybe disappointed. Usually, Mikan likes their time together. Nanami was kind to her in the simulation, she can recognize that now. When she realized she was the traitor—well. It was something like a betrayal. But it was also something of a relief. Nanami wasn't there when the class fell apart. Looking back, perhaps Gekkogahara is right, that it was Junko's prompting that turned them against each other, made them hostile. Nanami would agree, perhaps. She wanted them isolated. She wanted them to love only her. She wanted the only thing that united them to be that love. But Nanami wasn't there for that. How could she be? She was an A.I., from the start. And yes, it felt like a betrayal that she was Future Foundation, the organization against her beloved, but it also felt like a relief, because it meant she never hurt Mikan the way her classmates did. A confusing, messy tangle of emotions. She had hated her for it. “It's okay,” she says, patient in a way people hardly were with Mikan. “What's on your mind? Maybe talking about it will help.” - Chiaki and Mikan, post-simulation. [Dangan WLWeek day 1: Wedding/Your OTP.]

My first entry for Dangan WLWeek by @danggirlronpa ! Went with the OTP prompt, and decided to go with the original flavor of nanamiki I first fell in love with: SDR2 dynamic before DR3 came out! (So no human Chiaki, unfortunately.) While I ADORE DR3's iteration of nanamiki, I feel like I've given sooo much attention to it, instead of my roots! DR3 has the toxic doomed Yuri angle of Mikan sending Chiaki to her death, which is something I do adore to explore, and I am a big believer that there should be more works exploring that dynamic. But! At the same time! Sometimes fluff is good. Despite my inclinations for toxic Yuri nanamiki, this time I elected to explore the more fluffy origins of this ship & their more SDR2-centered dynamic. This was my original vision of nanamiki, before DR3 came and altered my brain chemistry. My point is- while I am still a bit disgruntled at the lack of toxic doomed Yuri nanamiki in the nanamiki fandom, I do still enjoy the fluffy stuff and I took the opportunity to explore that this time! It's the version of the ship I originally fell in love with, back before DR3 was out. All nanamiki is good nanamiki! Though I will, of course, continue making doomed toxic Yuri nanamiki, since... that is kinda my favorite flavor of them!

[literalite]

i’m not that same genshin anon, but what are your opinions on fontaine so far!?

HEYY NEW ANON LETS GET INTO IT 💪🏼💞

(spoilers for the 4.0 archon quest obviously 🥰 also massive block of text and this was me trying to keep it brief idk this has been the most interesting genshin has been for me in a hot sec)

i ammmmm not a fan of the new pneuma/ousia system.. ik they gave us lyney and hydro traveller have that inherently but to be totally frank i dont appreciate being basically told to build characters that i dont actually want to 🕊 if they had to implement this i would have preferred that all existing playable characters have an affinity toward one or the other that only triggers inside the borders of fontaine. bcos there (from how much of the region ive seen so far) doesnt seem to be a super solid lore reason as to why only fontaine characters and inexplicably the traveller have exclusive access to arkhe system it just feels unnecessary i dunnoooo. tbh tho i am being sort of nitpicky with this like i dont Need to have arkhe using characters in my party to do decent i can just tank it

i like the nation design! it feels very exciting. ratiowise it feels a bit awkward to have so much of the nation dedicated to the ocean, would have loved an extended sewer system that went into the sea as well so u could access it from both inside the city and in the sea. im a big fan of the steampunk aesthetic and i do wish they'd leant into it a bitttt more as opposed to the art deco. i like grunge sue me. i love the aquabuses and i wish there were more of them but perhaps a bit faster 😅 not the most entertaining mode of transport but my graphic settings arent the highest so i could be missing some of the scenery aspect of it

ok onto the archon quest. to my surprise i actually enjoyed it i thought it was silly and over the top but not in a wholly offputting way. like was it goofy and did i have to suspend my disbelief very hard yes but when i managed it i still had a fun time. childe getting knocked out in one go by neuvillette was def a highlight to me as well as pretty much all of navia's scenes she's such a cool character i really connected with her i think and i hope she comes back for more later down the line and we get some more background on her and clorinde's relationship (or lack of one? not sure what their deal is specifically but giving off immense toxic yuri which.. YESS) before clorinde killed her dad. i appreciated the balance between the expected lighter portions of the quests with the darker themes and stuff (the prophecy, lynette's trafficking, the injustices that the so called nation of justice metes out to its people) i think it was handled decently. all the characters felt like that had a solid reason for being incorporated into the quest itself (my main issue with sumeru's archon quest was how it felt like it was just introducing us to as many characters as they could just for the sake of it and no actual plot reason *cough* dori) and all were realistic and nuanced enough to hold their own in the overall sequence of events. VERY invested in the next installment of the quests in the next update in a way that i don't think i've been since the disappointment that was the final truncated and weirdly paced parts of the inazuma archon quest, sumeru felt like a whole new writing team finding their feet in genshins lore and this nation's quest has so far felt like they've def found their footing

i like lyney and lynette and freminet, theyre a really interesting set of characters and everyone who called them being fatui is surely very pleased with themselves gfhjkl i do find i guess for lack of a better word child soldiers as a narrative point really compelling to me (coughs in sunao kimura), and their clear loyalty and "love" towards arlecchino feels like it will pay off in a big way later down the line, for better or for worse. i did not see lyney being groomed to be the next "father" of the house of the hearth coming so when i looked into all of their voicelines that genuinely surprised me and opens up a lot of questions as to how the harbinger structure works or at least how arlecchino's place in the harbingers works. does this mean if/when arlecchino dies lyney takes her place as a harbinger as well or is her position as harbinger separate from her position as "father"? theyre making the fatui a lot more interesting to me personally as the plot goes on which is a good thing because i was really not into the whole two bit villain thing they were pushing in the really early parts of the game

in terms of who im going for i would like neuvillette i am not immune to lame dude with long hair. to be honest. also if navia has a good kit i might go for her actually because she was a stand out character in this archon quest in a way i really was not expecting like at all so. big fan of her

[crimsonxe]

Rant below the cut:

Just a reminder: Bees are officially canon, the crew hasn’t been shy or withholding on the fact that its a thing and they love it. Doesn’t matter if there is or isn’t a huge merch line for them or tweets for them. First was the “if they don’t become canon by x then its bait and grab the pitchforks”; now its become “if they don’t do merch or tweets about it then grab the pitchforks”, under the misguided view that RWBY is a shoujo-ai/yuri type series thus is going to do some massive spotlight on BB that involves resources being specifically put to it. This is the exact sort of thing I mean by “shooting themselves in the foot”, because guarantee you that BS’ers wouldn’t be doing the same thing and instead would be relishing in it being canon. Which is for a while BB’ers were doing but now its shifting towards the usual self-sabotage.

Let’s dive into what doing a big showing, tweet, or merch-line does:

- Stirs up drama

- Pulls in harassment towards the crew and supporters of it. I’ve seen people going after Arryn and Barb already over their daring to celebrate BB. Vile and disgusting ass comments about them personally, borderline slander at times. Hell even Lindsay had the one person calling them a bad wife cause they dared be part of the fun of Barb and Arryn’s ship-captaining.

- For the twitter side specifically: Twitter has devolved further into a toxic cesspit that enables homophobia and punishes pro-LGBT+ things and people. Many of the RT crew have mentioned lessening their interactions on it.

- Requires artists specifically for a RWBY line instead of a general Pride line (”hire more artists”, you going to restructure the finances to make room for that? Or going to let Michelle go in order to make room for a different artist to specifically do a BB line?)

- Gives antis things to point to for “its not about what fits the story, just about the money”. Which was already something done when the first hoodies and shirts were announced.

- Doesn’t make huge sense for a series that is in a limbo till whoever gives the official greenlight for v10

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter, I don’t need to think RT higher-ups care or don’t; the crew cares and put in the work on the show to more than deliver an official LGBT+ pair that will continue going forward as exactly that. RWBY isn’t a shoujo-ai/yuri, it isn’t aimed at specifically an LGBT+ audience, and instead is aimed at a general audience seeking to tell its story. On top of that its not like there’s a huge history of RT putting out ship-merch, I’d wager they actively avoid doing it; cause Renora has nada and Arkos has nada.

This is just like with Warrior Nun, I absolutely definitely do NOT at all need Netflix’s acting like they give a shit (they couldn’t even be bothered to put WN in with their Pride category even though it has a main wlw pairing); all I need is to see the crew for it showing their love for the show and for Avatrice. All I need a Netflix, WB, CR, Disney, or whoever to do is to keep hitting the greenlight button and putting out shows with LGBT+ in them. I don’t expect them to fight in culture wars.

With all this said, am I disappointed with the lack of BB merch? Totally. Do I see it as some bitch-slap that shows anything about RT’s values? Not even remotely, for the exact reasons I already mentioned. Not to mention if they were that worried about “homophobes”, Arryn, Barb, Lindsay, and others wouldn’t be loudly talking about canon BB; like they are.

ftr this isn’t aimed at one person, but at a general idea that I’ve seen from multiple areas. Like it puts me in a difficult spot, cause no one should have to trudge through the shit of the HTDM/shitdom; but in cases like this I actually waver thinking maybe some should have at least a dose of it to get some perspective. The reality is that again BB IS CANON and will be going forward.

[idolomantises]

I’ve seen people make excuses for the writing by mentioning it’s all just set up for spin offs and sequels but… I don’t want that? Why on earth would I want to wait 3 years for a show to say “oh by the way these characters will get proper conclusions in the spin offs”.

Just tl:dr I’m over this series and don’t plan on watching any of the sequels or spin offs. Maybe if they introduce a hot robot character I’ll check it out.

There’s not even a promise that every single character that has an inconclusive ending (which is all of them btw) will have spin offs and sequel shows. I’m pretty sure they’re likely going to just use a completely different cast since League has a lot of characters.

I’ve seen arguments that the season is bad because it has very few episodes and wasn’t spaced out, and while I do agree the pacing is terrible I also… don’t even think this show could have been salvaged if they gave it a full 4 seasons. Because either way, it was going to end with a lot of characters being badly written, sideline and having arcs unfinished so it can be explored in sequels and spin offs (if that even happen).

One thing I liked about arcane is that it avoided a lot of really bad tropes that I’ve seen modern queer media weirdly struggle with. Arcane avoided the pitfalls written female characters, female characters used to push male relationships and very clearly abusive couples that are dismissed just because they’re gay.

Then season 2 happens and Mel becomes a disposable black woman trope, Sky only existed for male angst, Maddie is literally there for shock value and adds nothing to the narrative, Vi just… turned into that and Caitvi is toxic yuri in a way that’s very unfun and frustrating. These two are seriously so incompatible for each other, but they make out and have sex a lot so I’m sure this destructive relationship with warring idealogies will be fine. Please queer shows for the love of god stop assuming gay characters kissing and fucking makes up for their lack of communication and horrible behavior to each other.

Honestly I’m really disappointed that all these things happened to Sky, Mel and Maddie because watching fans tear apart female characters for 4 years just for existing and getting in the way of ships only for them to be exactly that and for fans to cheer about their suffering pisses me off so bad like girl… what the hell happened did the writers have amnesia. How do you write this show right after season one and fuck up this bad.

Maybe we should stop making videos about how tv shows write female/queer characters well until they’re actually done because this is getting ridiculous.

And yes I want to come back to the issue with how black characters were treated because I do find it pretty gross for Mel and Ekko to be absent for most of the show but then come back to basically save the day so fans don’t complain about how they were obviously sidelined for the sake of other characters. I dont really care for Ekko/Jinx but I did enjoy their time together in the AU.

And another annoyance is that this show did such an incredible job at introducing moral greyness to the show but then got scared to really commit to giving these characters any consequences. And I don’t mean like death or going to jail, but I mean holding grudges. I think Jinx is a very interesting and tragic character but she’s also… a terrorist? She caused the death of their friends and father? Like she’s a grown woman making these decisions. Having characters run around and risk their lives to save her felt a bit frustrating because yeah circumstances lead to this but half of these circumstances are also her fault. I really wish the entire season was about Vi choosing whether or not she was ready to forgive Jinx instead of basically accepting her back because Vander is back.

And VANDER…. Actually I won’t say anything because the more I mention him the more it pisses me off.

I have more thoughts but I gotta draw some comics so I’ll just leave at that. Disappointing season that I think is a lot worse than fans insist it is. It’s not one or two issues, it’s just compounding problems that won’t improve.

Thoughts on Arcane season 2

I didn’t like this season

It’s not bad, but I found it incredibly rushed, cramped and deeply unsatisfying

While season 1 had several protagonists it was also pretty obvious that Vi and Jinx were the emotional core of the entire show so why on earth was their dynamic barely explored here

Vi went from being my favorite character to a character I found deeply frustrating and annoying. What the hell is her personality of getting her sister back and fucking the hot lesbian. She has no consistency whatsoever and it’s something I don’t think the show realizes how batshit the constant flip flopping in. What do you mean you sister tells you she’s going to kill herself and then you start fucking your messy situationship

I don’t really care for Jayvik but I found Jayce’s confession very sweet.

Mel my beautiful queen they’re gonna call you a Mary Sue

What the fuck was with all that Witch shit and Ambessa’s death was incredibly unsatisfying

Victor fans who kept begging the team to not make him a hot buff robot so he can still be a skinny twink pisses me off so bad because now we have an inferior twink robot design. I know fans probably didn’t influence this but I also need to complain about their lack of taste like what do you mean you didn’t want to see a hot buff robot man.

Ekko feels like an incredibly unimportant character and I’m pretty sure fans only like him because of what he can do for Jinx. A part of me wished he actually did hold a grudge just to see how fans reacted.

Season 1 was all about setting up emotional complexities and how nobody was truly evil and the show made it seem like there was no way for anyone to fully recovery from this but everyone is holding hands and singing kumbaya’s so alright nevermind then

This show was honestly a little too in love with Jinx. I did not enjoy her writing in acts 1 and 2.

The jokes were really bad this season

The songs oh my god the SONGS. I didn’t mind them in season 1 but in season 2 it started to remind me of love is blind and anyone who has watched that show would know what a massive insult that is.

Caitvi lesbian sex scene and I couldn’t even enjoy it because the writing was pissing me off

Caitlyn should’ve continued her little fascist arc.

Mel’s arc this season felt like weird fanfiction.

A bunch of random side characters die off unceremoniously after the show gave them so much unnecessary screen time

I hated Isha sorry. I’ve never seen a character more clearly made to die.

Jinx death means nothing to me because I know she isn’t dead so why even do all that lol

I will never call this show sexist but it has done a massive disservice to its female characters.

[kellodrawsalot]

What are your opinions on season 7? It was definitely my favorite season, the first by was dull but once they got to earth it was great. I felt it could have ended an episode early, though. I know I can't really ever ship Shieth again cause I just find that teacher student thing weird, nothing against people that do, though.

I can still ship Sheith but I understand why people woulndnt want to ship it,, I mean there are many ships who are like that such as two ships in Card Captor Sakura with the whole teacher-student thing, (trough one of them has a very disturbing age-gap and I dont get why Clamp thought that was ever a good thing) but Star Wars episode 1-3 has a age-gap relationship like that too and not to many people complained about that (is it because people find it okay if its between a boy and a older girl? idk..)

I havent finished season 7 yet, but imo I am not at all impressed. I think the writing is kind of all over the place and I feel the writers are falling into the same trap again as they were with Lok, (which worst seasons was season 2 and parts of season 4) Its deff not Avatar Legend of Aang good but I would say so far s7 isnt so bad as season 6 but I personally feel the series is ending on a bad note unless season 8 really changes things up. I deff can sympathize with the people who were let down by Shiro and Adam’s relationship (well he was his ex boyfriend) but it deff lacked consider they hyped it up so much at the comic con comes of as queer baiting and I have heard that Dreamworks didnt allow them to go further with Shiro’s homosexuality but maybe they should have revealed this after the series ended and show it in comic format where they had more freedom like Legend of Korra. But I am happy they didnt bend over to make Klance a thing. Dont get me wrong its a nice ship but it has no build up and the Klantis-fandom is beyond scary and dont really deserve that ship to be canon. But overral the writing is a mess. What I find most ironic is that some of the writers left Nick because the producers were giving them a hard time and forced them to avoid any Korrsami scenes and butchered their marketing and creative control. So they went to Dreamworks to get that,  and surprise again their writing and decisions has been altered and influenced by their producers they hold all the cards at the end. 

Having said that I am personally very disgusted by the way the Voltron fandom reacted. I understand criticism and being disappointed  when your animation series goes to hell I had that issues with several series both in anime and manga such as Owari No Seraph, certain parts of Digimon Tri and I was very let down and disappointed by Danganronpa v3 overall. 

But to send ‘’death threats’’ and haras the creators over it? 

What the heck? 

people saying they had a panic attack over the death of a character that hardly got any attention? people that were crying because they hated how season 7 ended? Sorry but, its just a cartoon, give it a bad rating and then go outside or talk to someone because such reactions is not healthy. The same people who are sending tweets at the Voltron crew telling them how bad they are for queer baiting the Lgbt community are some of the same people who missgender Bex and call Bex a fake lesbian by mocking Bex to refer Bex as a cis straight woman. HOW is the latter not more harmful to the lgbt community?  because it sends the message that its okay to be transphobic and homophobic to a none binary lesbian if their writing is bad….that is all sorts of messed up.

as for the death threats should I really go into detail why thats a bad thing and no no amount of ‘’they queer baited!!’’ justifies death threats, end of story. Tell them your criticism, send them your reviews but try to do that without being a bully and without resorting to homopobia and transphobia because that comes of as really freaking hypocritical and while your at it, send your criticism to Dreamworks as well for thinking a homosexual character is not appropriate for their series while at the same time allowing Netflix to market the series that way so they can still bank on their wokeness. 

Give up on Voltron if you want to 100 procent I understand that, focus on series that you like, I focus on Yuri on Ice and Steven Universe ( very posetive LGBT series) but I also started getting into older series that I love like Klonoa, But dont go deep into the toxicity of hating.

Sorry this ask just got super long and ranty and venting I just am tired of the whole Voltron series and discourse, its been going on for days, I am done with Voltron for now its not a good series atm, and I am so done with the fandom and its haters its such a unhealthy toxic place and there are more important things in life and more important things going on in my life right now then this. Now if you excuse me I am going to re-read my solo exchange diary again which is about a Japanese lesbian woman and people should buy it.

[emilyplaysotome]

Dating Diaries - Chapter 9 - The Sound of Silence

Inspired by real events, Emi enters the dating world after her long term relationship ends. Determined to move forward, she starts dating and quickly finds herself in over her head.

In case you missed it, here are the previous chapters:

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8

Two weeks into Mako’s trip, I found myself visiting Kyoto of all places. I went back and forth with myself on whether or not I should tell Kazumi I’d be in his neck of the woods.

After a week of silence where he’d some space from me, he’d reached out with one of his very Kazumi-esque messages.

Hope you haven’t frozen your nose

:)

In what was a bit of a fluke for winter, temperatures in Tokyo had dropped unusually low for the season. Everyday before work, I’d bundled myself up before dragging myself to the train and heading in for the day.

Everyday I looked at my phone which was void of the messages Kazumi used to send in which he wished me “Good Morning” and reminded me that I was beautiful. 

The silence served to remind me of how much had changed between us.

Going cold turkey had been hard, but I’d stuck to my guns after muting him and accepted that he hadn’t reached out in any capacity. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I missed our nebulous relationship - perhaps because it had been comforting and familiar in a new era of my life that was anything but.

When Kazu had asked me for space, I figured that he would last 3-4 days which was the longest we’d ever gone without talking. On day 5, I felt a twinge of sadness that he didn’t miss me. On day 6 I was convinced I’d never see his familiar name in my notifications again.

In the past, Yuri often spoke to the fact that Kazu wasn’t the type to let me go so easily, but it seemed that he had somehow let go successfully while something in my heart was still holding on. It was a strange feeling to know that I did not want him (that I had deemed him toxic for me), yet I was still not able to let go. 

And on the seventh day of silence I felt hurt, rejected, insecure, and every ugly feeling that I have tucked away in the recesses of my heart.

On the morning of day 8, I saw his name and I felt that anxious feeling I hadn’t felt for some time. When I saw his message I shook my head at how weird it was (seeing as how most people would have said something along the lines of, “I hope you’re staying warm” and left it at that).

I wrote back the following, and I felt my heart race as I did:

Haha is that a thing people say? My nose is fine! Hope you’ve been well.

No I just invented it.

I’ve been worried and preoccupied with my latest novel.

His words which usually bled with affection towards me lacked that warmth entirely, and I didn’t want to make excuses for the fact that he didn’t seem into me anymore. I didn’t understand why he’d continue to like my tweets, or text me again if he was over me, and somewhere deep in my heart I wanted to believe that I hadn’t been rejected.

It was my ego, not my head that was struggling with letting go.

Sorry to hear that. I missed your weird inventions, so let me know if we can be friends again (as in, if you still want space or if I can text you a bunch). I’m also going to be in Kyoto for work for a couple of days and if you’re around maybe we can meet up. If you’re busy, it’s all good...just let me know :)

I sent the response and it sat in limbo.

The next morning I grabbed my things and headed for the bullet train to Kyoto.

My coworker Masaki was waiting for me on the platform, and as we found our seats he said, “So Ayumi tells me that your boyfriend is Kazumi Kagami.”

“Ayumi is nothing but a gossip.”

“Oh, so he’s not?”

I shook my head no, “We’re friends.”

“Doesn’t he live in Kyoto? Are you going to see him?”

I could feel my anxiety pick up but in an attempt to play it cool I replied as nonchalantly as I could, “I don’t know. Maybe. Why?”

“I’ve got a book of his I’d love to get signed if you wouldn’t mind.”

Masaki handed me one of his more popular novels, and I nodded as I tucked it into my bag without making any promises.

I’d checked my phone that morning and saw that my message was still in limbo, and that new familiar feeling I associated with Kazumi filled my heart. It was a mix of disappointment, sadness, and hurt and it didn’t seem to matter that I logically knew the universe was doing me a solid.

That’s the funny thing about matters of the heart - you can know what’s best but still be hurt by the reality of what is.

That morning I did have a message from someone - Makoto.

He’d sent me a picture from his capsule hotel where he was smiling on the bed giving the camera a little wave. Unlike Kazumi, for the past couple of weeks I’d been surprised by how often we communicated. 

Usually it was once a day or once every two days, and despite his busy schedule he always seemed to find time to write, watch my InstaPicStories, or like something of mine on Tweeter. The attention he gave me didn’t feel manipulative like it did with Kazumi - there was something pure and sweet about it. 

With Mako it felt like we were old friends and as a result I didn’t find myself obsessing over my word choice as I’d done with Kazu - I just felt like another version of myself who was confident, secure, and relaxed. We bantered until one of us stopped replying with the knowledge that we would continue the conversation at some point soon.

I looked at the two familiar names and I thought about how each man represented a version of myself.

As a Gemini the notion of the “twins” is one that I hold near and dear to my heart. I can go between incredibly awkward and incredibly charming at the drop of a hat, just as I can go between being an introvert and extrovert. 

My personality is a complete contradiction, and so much of how I respond to a situation has to do with what twin is currently dominant.

If I were to apply the idea of “like attracting like” Makoto is the perfect pairing for my good twin. My good twin is the twin who I strive to be for the majority of my life. 

She is secure, fun, happy, optimistic, and sees the good in other people. She radiates confidence and her light draws people in.

People like Makoto, and another ex-boyfriend of mine (who was sweet, loyal, and overall one of the best men you’ll ever meet) mirror everything about my good twin. A man who appeals to my good twin draws her out and allows her to thrive. Though he’ll occasionally catch a glimpse of the twin that hides in the shadows, for the most part he’ll see me as my best self.

Kazumi is the man that appeals to my bad twin. 

My bad twin is critical, selfish, insecure, mischievous, exciting, devious, and bitter. She is the one who sits on my shoulder and tells me that nothing I do is good enough and that no one will ever love me. She thrives off negativity and uses bad behavior to validate her negative ego - whispering messages in my ear such as, “He’s not that into you because you’re not as special as you think you are...”

She is meek in the face of conflict, and her insecurity makes her desperate for validation and love.

When she rears her ugly head it is hard to get rid of her, and I find myself giving into obsession, anxiety, and depression - all of which is fueled by her toxic whisperings.

She is not all bad, for without her I would never push myself the way I do. She allows me to be critical of myself in a way that my good twin never could, and has helped me grow as a person in the face of self-imposed adversity.

She is the twin who makes me a perfectionist at work because nothing is ever good enough for her, and when it is good enough for her, people are amazed by what I can do. She is the reason why I was promoted recently, and she is the reason why I’ll be a success in my professional life.

She is the twin who attracts people like Kazumi, who have a deep insecurity within and she thrives off that energy, making me just as insecure in turn. Her brand of fun is excitement and drama and she loves the emotional roller coaster my good twin despises. She luxuriates in hurt and turmoil because it validates all those awful things she likes to whisper in my ear.

And when it comes to matters of the heart, she is everything I never want to be seen as - desperate, weak, and insecure.

While I want to believe I’ve successfully hidden that image from Kazu, I’ll never know. I do know that with Shizuo, he saw all those things and whether he realized it or not, used them to his advantage.

With my bad twin at the helm that morning, I stared at the TalkTime message to Kazu that still hadn’t received a read receipt and wrestled with the impulse to follow up.

In the past, my good twin would have lost this battle quickly but because of all the work I’d been doing lately, I heard her say to me, “Emi...what are you trying to achieve by writing to him?”

“I miss the attention. Why doesn’t he like me anymore?” my bad twin snapped back.

“Why does that matter?” 

“Because! What does it say about me if he walks away?”

“Nothing. Other than the fact he can’t handle a woman who doesn’t cater to him completely.”

“But he used to fight for me - it made me believe that I was one of a kind.”

“You are one of a kind - don’t give him the power to make that true or untrue. What do you want from him?” 

“I want him to want me.”

“For what purpose? Do you want to be his girlfriend?”

Even my bad twin knew that the answer to that question was “no”, and so I resolved myself to letting it lie and put my phone away for the remainder of the ride.

I’d told myself that this month away from Makoto I would work on me, but my bad twin didn’t want to deal with what that meant. I told myself that things were over with Kazumi but my bad twin didn’t want to accept that. I told myself that everything that was cropping up was probably about these two men, but my good twin held me accountable.

Once Masaki was asleep, I pulled out my notebook and started to write another letter I’d never send to the person with whom my unresolved issues further fueled my bad twin’s obsession with Kazumi.

Dear Shizuo,

I’m headed to Kyoto with Masaki (that coworker of mine you were always suspect of [which is ironic now that I’m thinking about it]) for work. There’s a big wedding expo here and we’ll be manning our booth for a couple of days before going home.

Do you remember when we came here for our anniversary?

I do. I remember that was our last happy memory together, and that a month later I’d find out that you were cheating on me. 

Do you know what that did to me? 

Masaki and I are staying at a hotel near Gyoen National Park. I’m worried I’ll see it and cry when I think about being there with you. I’m worried the memories of being happy and feeling good about myself will bubble up and remind me that I haven’t healed as much as I want to believe, and that I miss you even though I know I shouldn’t.

I don’t want to cry in front of him.

I’ve realized that the aftermath of what you did validated that small part of myself who has always wondered if I’m not good enough to be with someone. I gave you the power to dictate how I feel about myself, and I know I need to take that away from you...from Kazumi...but it’s hard.

Are you with her right now? 

Are you happy?

Those questions I know don’t really matter, but that side of me that loves to revel in disappointment and distress wants to know. She wants to punish me for being not enough...but I know that I have to stop her on my own.

- Emi

I wrote several more letters like that over the course of the time I spent in Kyoto. 

Masaki was surprisingly well behaved that trip, and I found myself hanging out with him in the evenings and actually enjoying myself. I realized that once he was away from the rest of our coworkers he didn’t have the impulse to show off and do all the stuff I thought was a bit obnoxious. 

On the first full day we were there, we went to dinner and he caught me checking my phone a bunch. He ignored it at first and then asked me if I was expecting a call which made me realize that I’d been obsessing over the fact that I still hadn’t received a “read” receipt from Kazu.

Against my better judgement (thanks to the second bottle of wine we were currently sharing) I told Masaki the full story about Kazumi (without any salacious details) and was pleasantly surprised when he thoughtfully let me know that he no longer wanted Kazumi Kagami to sign his book.

“I don’t like that he’d do that - even if you were just friends that’s not how you treat someone,” Masaki said softly.

“I agree. It’s why I’ve tried to distance myself, but I still feel sad. I don’t know why...but for some reason I still want his attention and his approval somehow.”

“I’ve been there and there’s no easy way to push through it because your head knows what’s best but your heart just doesn’t want to get on board for some reason.”

“Yeah...” I chuckled, “Maybe I just have really bad taste in men. My last boyfriend cheated on me.”

Masaki smiled at in me in a way that was far softer than any smile I’d ever seen him wear and he said, “My ex cheated on me too.”

“Really?”

“Mmm. And you know...for months I thought about it. I wondered - are they together? Are they happy? Does she laugh about how they carried on together for months before I found out?”

Masaki spoke so quietly that I worried should I breathe too loudly I’d miss what he was saying, and somehow every word he was saying felt important to hear.

“And this one day, a year and half later I ran into one of her friends. We were at a work party, and as much as I didn’t want to talk to her I also knew I couldn’t just run away. I played it like I was fine, you know...that I was doing well...and I asked how she was and how Kana was and she told me that Kana was fine and then very quickly excused herself. Of course, that only made me obsess more...”

Masaki looked lost in the memory, and let out a self deprecating laugh as he continued his story.

“Six months later, I was running in the park and I saw Kana. She was alone on a bench and was reading book. I had this moment where I contemplated just ignoring her and continuing my run but something stopped me from doing that...and so, I approached her. We got to talking and after exchanging a few pleasantries she apologized to me for what she’d done. She told me that after our breakup, she sank into a deep depression which had resulted in her being hospitalized. The day I’d seen her friend, she must have realized that it wasn’t her place to tell me what had happened and so all this time I was thinking Kana was happy and engaged and that the reason her friend ran away from me that night was because she didn’t want to pour salt on the wound...it was just a story I made up. None of it was real...”

Masaki finally snapped back to reality with me, and took another sip of wine before shaking his head.

“My point is that you’ll just never know. Not with Kazu. Not with Shizuo. You don’t know what their real story is and it’s not worth trying to guess. So yeah...it sucks when someone hurts you like that but you can’t live in a story you make up about them. You know? You gotta deal with your own story and what’s there and make the best of it.”

I nodded, taking in everything Masaki had said.

When I’d left Shizuo, he’d begged me not to. He’d followed me out of his apartment after I ended it even though he was only in a towel and in front of all his neighbors he pleaded with me to stay.

Masaki was right - it had never occurred to my bad twin that he might be grappling with the same kind of sadness I was dealing with.

My bad twin was so caught up in being rejected and stroking my own insecurities that I never even thought about the fact that I was telling myself fables about Shizuo and Kazu to avoid looking in the mirror and dealing with my own story.

“Damn Masaki, that was super profound.”

“What can I say? I’m more than just a pretty face.”

We smiled at each other and clinked our glasses before toasting to moving on.

The rest of my time in Kyoto was rather enjoyable and between the Expo and dinner with Masaki I didn’t have time to obsess. It was only that hour or two before bed where the silence was palpable and I started to feel lonely that I thought about Kazu or Shizuo.

If I’m being honest, I guess it wasn’t “them” that I was thinking about but their rejection and how that related to me. My bad twin fought to hold on while my good twin had me writing letters I’d never send in the spirit of letting go.

Even though a battle inside myself raged on for days, I was proud of the fact that I did not follow up or reach out, and that I kept Kazu muted.

With that said, the morning we were headed home to Toyko (aka the 3rd day of my trip) I checked my phone as I always did first thing the morning.

Makoto had texted me pictures from Nagano where he’d gone with a few of his work friends on a day trip skiing. There were some really beautiful shots of the mountain, one of him looking cute in ski apparel, and one of a fancy hot chocolate that he’d gotten at the lodge and he said he wished he could share with me.

The messages made my good twin smile, so naturally my bad one whispered, “Has Kazu read your message yet?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not seeing him. He made his intentions towards me clear.”

“But has he read it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“...But has he?”

He hadn’t.

I didn’t let Masaki know that I’d checked, nor did I talk about Kazumi with any of my friends. There was no point - it had all been said again and again and the only person who hadn’t accepted the fact that it was over was me...

...my bad twin at least.

One week later, I still found myself thinking about Kazumi.

It wasn’t just my bad twin - it was my good one as well. She had been proud of how she’d kept her sister in check, but something in both of them felt unresolved.

As a result, I found myself looking at Kazu’s tweeter feed and saw that in the week he’d been silent, he continued to “like” random tweets of mine. If I knew him the way I thought I did, it was his lazy attempt to keep me at arm’s length while he deliberated over what he wanted. I realized that perhaps the thing that felt unresolved was that I hadn’t established what I wanted - which was access to his brilliant mind and a friendship in which we could chat and not be so emotionally affected by each other.

In the week of silence, Makoto had texted me. Yuri had texted me. Hiromi and Keima had texted me. Even Masaki had texted me.

I realized that when I opened my TalkTime or FriendFind, they were full of people who wanted me around. They were full of friends I cared about and new acquaintances who knew that they wanted to be in my life and made an effort in doing so.

During this time, I spent an entire day cooped up in my apartment, playing video games, reading books, and just doing whatever it was that I wanted, all the while remembering that I really liked the person I was and currently am. 

I wondered why at this point in time, it was not just my bad twin that was thinking about him, but my good one as well. 

I stepped back and realized that my good twin (the one that is secure and values the person I am in this very moment) wanted me to make it known that I wasn’t about to allow myself to be in limbo. She wanted me to know that if Kazumi refused to provide me with the closure necessary for both good and bad twins to move on, I had the power to do it for myself.

It didn’t matter if he read this message or not. 

I was sending it for me, not him. I was sending it so if I were to look back on our nebulous three month relationship one day, I would not feel as if anything were unresolved. I would look back and realize that I had carried myself with dignity, and had said the things necessary in order to establish that I valued myself too much than to waste time talking to a man who was too cowardly to express that he wanted to walk away.

Hey - I just wanted to say that I hope you’re doing ok.

I was debating reaching out again, but I feel as if I need to. I can’t really tell what you want from me anymore. I figured after not hearing from you that moved but then you “like” random tweets of mine which makes it hard for me to forget you. I really hope we can be friends but I don’t want to chase someone who doesn’t want me around. And if you don’t, it’s ok. I’ll miss you but I am still very happy to have met you. So just let me know...I do hope we can be friends. I want to be friends.

I sent it, and then deleted the message in my history. 

I didn’t need a read receipt. It didn’t matter.

He might stop liking my tweets. He might never speak to me again.

That was ok.

My good twin needed to let him know that just because he’d held my bad one hostage for the past few weeks, she was back in the driver’s seat now. She was not going to allow for me to waste my time with someone who couldn’t figure out if he wanted me around.

She wanted me to see that I don’t have to sit and be a silent passenger to someone else’s whims like I was with Shizuo, and now Kazu.

She wanted me to see that you make your own path, you get your own closure, and most importantly you hold fast to the belief that your value comes from within.

She wanted to be friends, and if he didn’t...that was ok.

It will probably make my life easier if Kazumi doesn’t reply, but as is the case with life, I simply don’t know what the final outcome will be.

I don’t know if we’ll be friends or if he’ll disappear into the ether and just be added to the list of “somebody that I used to know”. I am thankful for the mirror he’s held up to me, and for the fact that as flawed as he is, he has served a purpose in my life to help me get through what has been a difficult time.

With Makoto, while I do not know if he’ll stick around, I am thankful that he has reminded me of the type of man who is best paired with my good twin. The mirror he has held up has reminded me of my best self and so, I have worked on and will continue to work on making her even better.

Most importantly, as I move forward I am thankful for the person I am becoming and for those around me who continue to walk beside me as I continue to evolve. They remind me everyday of the things I already know - that I am kind, fun to be around, and deserving of love.

And on that note, the person I’ve realized who is most deserving of my love is me - not either of the men who have taken up the majority of my thoughts over the past few months. 

As I reclaim the person I am, it’s hard to remember that I ever forgot who I was. 

It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I once asked myself, “Who am I without Shizuo?”

I know that I’ll have good days and bad, but I feel secure in the fact that the core of who I am is dope as fuck, and that whoever is lucky enough to be awarded the title of my “boyfriend” in the future is going to need to prove that he’s worthy of it...and most importantly, of me.

This is the final chapter of my Dating Diaries. 

To be honest, my initial ending was when I thought it was done with both of them but as life has shown me there is more nuance to relationships if you allow for it. I may do an epilogue but it doesn’t matter - the heart of this story is about finding yourself after a breakup and realizing that your worth does not come from external forces but within.

In the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself how the hell are you gonna love someone else - can I get an amen!”

If you liked the story, I hope you’ll share it and if you’re feeling really generous I hope you’ll consider buying me a coffee!

Thanks for reading and hope you got something out of it!

@robotloveskitten

@airashime

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@speakfearlessly1989

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@voltage-trash

[vulnerablr]

hey betts, i really appreciate that you run this blog. i like it a lot. i was wondering if you had any comforting/interesting things to say about representation in media. cause like idk if ur in/know of the fandom but i'm pretty devastated about the way a tv show i really liked went. they had the opportunity to do something great (with representation), and they didn't take it. they hinted and refused to rule it out but they didn't go through with it. i'm sad and disappointed and... angry?? idk.

i am in the fandom you’re referring to. at least, i used to be and now i’m kind of on the sidelines. and yeah, i’m just as upset. or at least i would be if i could take anything that happened in that last episode seriously.

so here are some positive/hopeful things about representation:

i teach at a school where a lot of the students are children of prominent alumni, which makes for a pretty conservative school. we even had milo y. come and do a talk (which i protested). so i expected to get a lot of backlash about my liberal teaching style from students who’d been pummeled with conservative rhetoric their whole lives. this was not the case. in a paper where they could argue anything they wanted, i had boys write about toxic masculinity and whitewashing. i had girls write about sexism in academia and impossible beauty standards. i really believe younger people are already more educated than i was when i was their age just a decade ago. it’s fantastic they have all these words and terms without me having to teach them. they already have an arsenal of social progression at their fingertips just by existing in the world we live in. 

i remember in my first women’s studies class talking about how important it is just to make the issues we care about known and discussed and relevant in the public eye. representation is Very Relevant right now, and finding a vocabulary is the first step to revolution. so maybe we’re still in the first steps of adequate representation in television, yk? i like to think about it this way: the Motion Picture Production Code (censorship, namely) only went down in 1960. we are still feeling its effects in the media we consume, but it’s dissipating -- slowly, but it is.

twitter has made the veil that hangs between fan and creator the thinnest it has ever been. only in the last decade have content creators been able to hear the words of the people to whom they’re telling these stories. marketers and researchers (some of whom i’ve spoken with directly, who have been hired by production companies to talk to people in fandom specifically and ask for our interests) have a laser focus on fandom right now that a lot of us can’t even see. what we do and say matters. it might not feel like it, but we’re being watched, and eventually creators will catch up to us.

things are changing. they’re slow and frustrating, and sometimes we lose (supernatural, sherlock, captain america), but sometimes we win too (yuri on ice, check please, korra). 

what we need to do, all of us, is keep yelling about it. keep complaining about it. keep supporting the stories with representation we want to see and criticizing the ones that lack it. we need to get more fanpeople into the sphere of commercial storytelling. we need to keep writing fanfic and reading fanfic and introducing people to fanfic and talking about fanfic and normalizing fanfic, so that people like the ones who fucked us over in that episode last night know that we are educated consumers and better writers than they are. we need to keep making ourselves heard.