#but you still misgendered and attacked people

[voulezloux]

x

[batbluud]

not to get #Controversial but like some of you people sincerely need to stop acting like repackaged gender essentialism is in any way progressive because you add enough ""bad"" modifiers to it

[catboybiologist]

Two random vent lists

Cis ally shit that annoys some trans people but doesn't annoy me as much

Some misgendering, if you're receptive to being corrected. Much prefer being misgendered and lightly correcting than being degendered or having someone be afraid of addressing me at all. Also there are so many other problems I have related to transphobia that pronouns are not anywhere near my top concern.

Asking the "annoying" or intrusive questions (I WILL counter with explicit detail, though)

"This affects cis women too" in response to anti trans legislation- the root of transphobia is misogyny, this helps attack the root. It also builds solidarity

I have a complicated relationship to my old name, I don't call it my deadname and I'm fine with hearing it sometimes. It does get old though

Cis "ally" shit that annoys me but is too petty for me to talk about in day to day life

Dismissing sexism that trans women face as trivial and/or affirming ("welcome to being a woman" "hey it's just cuz you got hot [in response to being catcalled]") when they would never do the same to cis women

"Identify" as a verb (eg "you identify as a woman" bitch I just am a woman, I also identify as one but why are you avoiding saying I am one)

Talking over my relationship to dynamic/changing gender (eg, I say "when I was a guy" "silly, you were always a girl!" Like sure if that's how you want to see it but my experience in the world is radically different then v now. Also that's not how I see it, it's a much deeper conversation, I don't think "always" being a woman makes my womanhood any more or less real now. It's about who I am now, not the past, and I'm fine treating pre-transition me as a man.)

Centering "validity" as the only issue in trans rights and not thinking about it any deeper (eg, passport stuff being treated as "omg you're valid no matter what the government says!!!" As opposed to "hey the government is legally codifying sexes and what rights they have and those definitions are now used in explicitly discriminatory legislation")

"Third gendering" or "degendering" (eg, they/theming when I use she/her, avoiding using any gendered terms for me and making conversations more awkward, being paralytically afraid of giving me either binary gender. Treating me as non binary is still misgendering.)

Pushing transmasc bathroom stuff as a counterargument to trans bathroom use, eg, "do you want this big hairy masculine trans man in your bathroom" (it was never about the men's room. It's not about sex at birth. It's about policing women's spaces. Also why are you using someone with masculine features in a woman's room as a scare tactic)

Overuse of AGAB to reinvent the binary (eg, "AFAB only" events now in "progressive" spaces)

[genderqueerdykes]

can the online lesbian community please stop treating butches like we're walking strap ons.

for years now i've had to avoid the butch lesbian tag on here because 80% of the posts are people yearning about a butch's strap on, or something else about a butch fucking them. it's fine and normal and healthy to express lesbian sexuality. being attracted to butches is good and fine, and yea of course its hot when a butch wears a strap. like duh

but when all i see people talk about is our straps (never our penises, only strap), or fantasizing about how big and strong we are, or all the things we could physically do to them, how we would be their Big Strong Butch and provide for them and take care of them and make it so that they don't have to go to work... it makes me wonder if people see us as. people. or if we're just walking workhorses and sex toys.

like, are you gonna be there for your butch in a way that doesn't involve sex when they're having a bad day? are you gonna be there to listen when they discuss butchphobia? are you gonna help them bring in their groceries because they're physically disabled and can't be strong for you? are you going to defend them when they lock up in an anxiety attack while they're being misgendered? are you going to be there to reassure them that they're still butch no matter what anyone else says? are you going to be accepting when they come out as trans, genderqueer, non binary, or another gender? are you going to treat intersex butches with dignity and respect and not immediately default to misgendering us?

are you going to be there to help them domestically? are you going to be there to help drive them to work, class or shopping because they're too disabled to drive? are you going to care about them as a person if they become too disabled to have sex anymore, experience reproductive health issues, or lose interest in sex? are you going to be normal about them telling you they're asexual? are you going to focus solely on their appearance? are you going to be normal about them being fat? are you going to listen to them when they talk about their interests? are you going to be the one that cuddles them when they wake up from a PTSD nightmare drenched in sweat and addled with fear?

or are we just walking sex toys? it's bad enough that none of the online lesbian community acknowledges that some lesbians have their own penis. god forbid a biopenis shows up. rubber dicks? a-okay. flesh and blood penis? THREAT! if folks are fiending so hard for dick, why's it gotta be a dildo? you really can't accept a butch that has a penis, whether they were born with it or got bottom surgery? you want a penis on the butch soooooooooooo bad but it has to be silicone? really? you're really gonna throw all the lesbians with dicks out despite how horny you are? what's the double standard here about? is it really that hard to treat butches like people? are we really just play things that don't have feelings to the uninitiated?

this shit's a joke. treat butches better. don't be like this. we're people. we're not walking (fake) dicks.

[glitched-starlight]

As Gravity Falls reenters the void, and the inevitably of fanfiction begins to recirculate, there is a comment I fear I must send out to the general public.

As a trans man who gets, like, -1 representation in shows that aren’t explicitly about queer people, I often will latch onto characters that inexplicably have The Trans (TM) written into their bones, which includes Dipper Pines. And, as one might expect, I turn to my silly little A03 account to get my fix of representation and enjoyment of many a trans dilemma. Unfortunately, this is where my qualms get given the spotlight.

This is a generalization, but it seems as though every single godforsaken fic about trans!Dipper (I see this in the Spider-Man fandom a lot too, but that’s a conversation for a different day) he loses all his unhingedness, all his insanity, and is boiled down to a weak and sad little uwu trans boy who can’t handle his own dysphoria and falls apart at every slight inconvenience?

You’re telling me DIPPER, the same man who got called weak one (1) time and then disappeared into the woods for a solid 12 hours and came back half naked and rambling about positive vs toxic masculinity and manotaurs, is going to get misgendered and fall completely and utterly apart? You seriously think he’s going to have a run in with somebody who tries to bully him for being trans and he isn’t going to read them to filth? Are we forgetting that this is the same man who spent a whole episode learning about how to live and let live and then STILL told Pacifica her family was a sham with the mic-drop line of “deal with it”?????

Like good lord, please give this man some credit. I’m not saying he can’t have panic attacks, or trauma, or be treated differently by certain people, but it is the year of our lord and savior 2024 and we are STILL infantilizing trans men in fanon versions of media???

All I’m saying is if Mabel gets to keep her unhinged characteristics, you gotta let Dipper keep his too. Let Dipper punch a transphobe, as a treat.

[thewritingfairy]

↪ 05. Tim doesn't understand you

inspired by acid-ixx, rizzanon and nikovraskol

PREV PART trigger warnings: medical + emotional + physical neglect, Stephanie and (Name) don't mix, misgendering (reader isn't out to the bad family yet), shouting, manupilation attempt, shouting, filler chapter main m.list      series m.list

Tim doesn’t understand you, he doesn’t understand why you were never told about their ‘nightly business’. To him you seemed the most trustworthy, the best at empathy and quite frankly the least problematic one, so he doesn’t understand Alfred’s anger. He doesn’t understand why he shouted at you the minute you walked through the door, he doesn’t know what to do except just stand there as Stephanie comes to look for him. They were supposed to play video games, after all. “Geez, Alfie is really laying it into her,” she comments, popping some popcorn in her mouth. “nice, finally it isn’t one of us.”

“Alfred,” You interrupt his yelling, painfully aware of how Stephanie and Tim are watching you two. “you lost the right to be concerned over me a long time ago.” Those words brought tension in the air Tim had only ever felt at his home. It was the tension of anger, righteous anger. Anger that Tim knows all too well. “I was spending time with my friends, my family.”

Those words made Stephanie scoff; “Hey genius this is your family.” But Tim knew better, he just hadn’t calculated that their neglect would harm you this much. He wants to keep you safe, but, oh he should have stepped more after what Jason did to you.

“Is it?” You ask Stephanie. “Oh, Stephanie, you of all people should know that blood doesn’t equal family.”

Alfred grabs you by your pulse and you try to pull it back instantly. “Your anger has become childish,” he hisses, squeezing your pulse tighter and Tim notices the way your eyes become numb. They look like those dead eyes Kon-el always show’s him (the clone had always been worried about not looking like he was human, even with all the reassurance that he is). “I am disappointed in you, and you will apologise to miss Brown.”

Tim turns to Stephanie as he sees her nostrils flare out, she’s furious. “She’s right,” he whispers to Stephanie, and she looks at him betrayed.

“This is not you, (Name),” Alfred scolds you, his voice harsh and unfamiliar to not just your ears but Tim’s as well. “where has my sweet girl gone, where has she disappeared to?”

“Let me go, Mr. Pennyworth,” you say, your voice shaking but steadfast at the same time. “you lost my trust the day you let Jason beat me, but you started losing me long before that.” You finally get your pulse lose and step back, the glare you had on your face was one that the whole family had only seen twice. It was the glare you had given Damian when he attacked Tim, just after he attacked you, and it was the glare you gave the family the day Jason beat you. “I was never that easy, I made myself that easy so that I at least got your affection!”

You were shouting back at Alfred, and to Tim it felt like the dam finally broke.

You could be strong and still feel hurt, you could be strong but still tell Alfred the truth without faltering.

“Be glad I haven’t showed anyone the scars that Jason gave me,” you laugh out. “I didn’t press charges, because I couldn’t. And I am too tired to even think about that man,” Stephanie and Tim were frozen. Tim felt like they were intruding, but Stephanie wanted to see how this would end. After all, to her you were just throwing a tantrum about the past. “I could ruin your precious Wayne family by just leaking a few photos. But I haven’t, don’t make me change my mind.”

Alfred says nothing. He was taking your threat seriously, but Tim knows better. He threatened the same so many times, this was just a method to make Alfred back off. Threats were the only way to make this family listen to you. Tim feels guilty, but what can he do?

“She wouldn’t, right?” Stephanie asks. “I get that Jason messed up but isn’t this too far?”

“She doesn’t have all the context,” Tim couldn’t help but defend you. “how can we expect her to understand when she does not know the full story?”

Stephanie hums. “I guess that’s why she made that comment about my dad, huh.”

“Yeah,” Tim agrees, just to placate her. “she was beaten to the point she couldn’t leave the house for almost a year. I think (Name) is rightfully pissed still, she was attacked in her own room. And the last things she had gotten from her mother were destroyed by Jason.”

While Tim understands your anger is righteous,

he doesn’t understand you, for that he has to know you and he never took that chance. Oh, how many chances you have given him, them.

But if he was to try now, would you still let him after all this time? Would you still accept him when you realise that he neglected you because he thought that was better for you? Would you protect him again if you knew the truth about why he kept you in the dark. Would you view him different from the rest of the family (and team). Would you love him? Would you be siblings?

Would you let him in so that he can learn to understand you?

 NEXT PART this isn't my best work, but I got the motivation for this chapter idea again thx to the ask about Tim. 

Taglist: @prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue, @shadowytravelerlover, @1abi, @leeiasure, @frank-vanderboom, @stove-top96, @amber-content, @lithiumval, @bunniotomia, @chericia, @marsmabe, @cssammyyarts, @lingxio, @foolishseven, @kore-of-the-underworld, @bunbunboysworld, @homeless-clown, @alwaysholymilkshake, @miashico, @kittzu, @ironsaladwitch, @pix-stuff, @hopingtoclearmedschool, @icefox8155, @seemee3, @nxdxsworld, @princessbonnie-bell, @kenman00001, @exactlynumberonekryptonite, @welpthisisboring, @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @rtyuy1346, @lilyalone, @lettucel0ver, @dirtydiavolo, @leogf, @trashlaternfish360, @itsberrydreemurstuff, @plsfckmedxddy, @cheappremingerfromdelululand, @smithieandy, @xzmickeyzx, @holderoflostmemories

[ocularose]

no surgery/surgeries trans men are real men. And they're actually stronger than diamonds for putting up with:

dehumanizing sexualization/objectification (ie ppl that say 'i love men's tits and boypussy' but doesn't fight for our rights/fight against disrespect and bullying directed at trans men)

ppl implying having 'female parts = not REAL men', treating them like their lack of transition goals is 'just a phase' or straight up bad- somehow- for any reason (thats transphobia)

homophobia coming from all sides. oh they like fem people? labelled a lesbian without their consent. they like mascs? 'dont go around TRICKING REAL gay men into being straight!!1' ace or aro? well unfortunately typical ace and arophobia thats still normalized.

And of course having to deal with REAL LIFE BIGOTS as well as internet trans(andro)phobes, some of them potentially being people they thought they could trust. Being misgendered likely often or/and othered, bullied, harassed and worse, especially if they're people of color. And on top of it all, being driven away from the queer community and safe spaces because they're men.

And so, SO much more things that, yes, many other trans people experience obviously! but it's less talked about and personally, ive never seen transfems attacking other transfems, while ive seen the contrary happen! SEVERAL times! This shouldn't happen to anyone, anytime, ever! Transidentity is about acceptance, of oneself and others- including ones different than you! Basic human decency!!

[idolomantises]

I haven't drawn Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss redesigns since last year and the fandom still regularly tags me/picks fights with me over them. I did not think a couple drawings would live in people's heads so rent free.

Like you can go find my redesigns on twitter, they're still very public. I just label them as "Angel Dust redesign" or "Alastor redesign". The only time I think I explicitly called a design bad was when I said I found Beelzebub's design atrocious. Which it is. It's an overdesigned mess that doesn't convey the sin at all, I'm allowed to say I don't like it. And even still, when I posted the art, I still labeled it as "Beelzebub redesign".

I'm not going to forget when you fans regularly stalked my account and PATREON just to figure out when I would upload the redesigns. You think I forgot about when I posted my Angel Dust redesign which was just meant to improve my old design and you people harassed me for days? You accused me of "baiting" fans because you are so self-obsessed you think everything I do is explicitly to upset you. You people misgendered me, told me to kill myself, called me a fucking cockroach and flat out threatened to assault me multiple times. Sure I was harsh about my critiques, but I didn't resort to homophobic and transphobic comments like you people did with my Angel Dust redesign because for some unexplained reason you diehard fans who have been following this project for 10 years didn't know that he's meant to be a drag queen. When I did a quick redesign of Katie Killjoy on my personal tumblr, guess what? You people flipped the fuck out, AGAIN.

I can't even talk about my own religion without you sad, paranoid losers thinking I'm trashtalking hazbin hotel. You made up some rumor that I block all Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss fans (despite being mutuals/friends with people who are fans of the shows or actually work on them) just so you could justify harassing me even more. You told me for years that I should wait until the Hazbin series dropped to get my full thoughts out and when it did you people still freaked out and berated me.

Even when I talked about my situation after posting my Angel Dust redesign, instead of apologizing, fans claimed I planned this hostile reaction to begin with to make the fandom look bad. That I was "pulling a transphobia card" for sympathy. I didn't do shit. You people have gotten more aggressive about your hate towards me because people finally saw how incredibly inappropriate and vile you people act over a midtier cartoon written by someone who has so many allegations of bullying, transphobia, racism and workplace abuse that it's become harder and harder for you to deny, so you take out your unrepressed anger on me.

I know the only reason you people target me is because I'm a big artist who doesn't kiss Viv's ass. You want me to be a diehard fan of hers like every other big artist you people bully into worshipping Viv and her show and I won't do it. So you just obsessively stalk and monitor my account and accuse every little thing I do as a spiteful attack so you can justify your little harassment campaigns again. It's pathetic.

Seek help, find a hobby, stop obsessing over people who don't like the same thing as you. It's getting sad.

[mxbluemarine]

Hey, so remember that cyber bullying is lame as fuck and we don't like people who do that? *edited with more information

*Second edit to this post. Rot uses she/it pronouns. I know this now, but during making this post I was unaware, so below the cut I referred to her with they/them, before correcting myself in my first edit. I do apologize for misgendering her, as that was not my intention. I hope you can understand, thank you for reading

Content warning for talk of bullying, body shaming, threats of harm, joking about sexual trauma, and like, manipulation?

So the tl;dr is there's a person who I've been recently warned about that's rejoined the selfship community. They've hurt two people I know personally and care deeply for. I'm making this post because they don't wish for the attention to be on them, which I completely understand

I don't have any personal connection to this person, however I value the words of these two people (who I will call Mutual-A and Mutual-B) and I only wish for their safety and comfort. I do not want any harm or rude things sent to this blog, simply block and move on

Reblogs would be appreciated, and I ask for people to at least skim over what I talk about under the read more. I don't feel comfortable knowing that my other mutuals interact with a person who's harmed people that I care for

^ their new user name, since I don't want to type here and accidentally find this places where it shouldn't be. I do believe they had a different selfship blog here, that has since disappeared, I think they deleted it, since I had the original blocked and this one wasn't.

Now like mentioned previously, I have no ties to this person and the only "interaction" I've had with them was seeing the incredibly rude and disgusting things they've said about Mutual-A. As a nonsharer myself and someone who fights with my mental issues, I don't think shaming someone's body and outright wishing physical violence on people who share your comfort characters is a sane or normal thing to do. If these screenshots look familiar it's because they've been taken from a post about this person in the past, when this was originally happening

Again, talk of body shaming and wishes of harm (which no matter how silly is still a threat)

________________

________________

As for this second person, Mutual-B, what they've been through with them was some time ago. While Mutual-B wasn't a victim of harassment to as big of scale as Mutual-A, I still think their feelings on the matter are important to highlight. I don't have screenshots of these ordeals in particular, only word of mouth, but I trust this person deeply, and never before have they tried to bad mouth anyone without reason. On multiple occasions with this person Mutual-B has told me they threatened to call out B as a p.ro.shipper, something THEY ARE NOT, simply for reblogging or interacting with posts with tags they didn't already have filtered out. I've know B for a while now and I can tell you that it's simply not true

Warning for jokes of sexual trauma/SA and manipulation

________________

________________

That's all. Once again reminding to NOT attack this person, just block and move on. For a community built on self love and comfort I don't find any of this shit to be acceptable to have in it

________________________________

EDIT, because apparently we're not done here.

Since making this post, this person (will be referring to them/her as Rot) has since made a post addressing the situation. I'm also adding on more screenshots found by myself and others (apologize for the quality of some, as they're taken from my computer due to the picture limit) Going to go ahead and add another content warning for talk of SA/a character who has committed it, will add more warnings if needed

First thing Rot talks about in her post is how her interaction with Moot-A was a year and a half ago, which isn't true, right now it's been barely over a year and two months ago. I feel like this is a way to try to paint us badly by "Bringing up stuff from way back in the past", I understand a few months difference isn't much, this is a tiny nitpick I'm sure but it still didn't settle right with me. I can also understand if this was just plain misremembering.

Second point, as for the warning above, Rot makes it clear that she ships herself with a canonical rapist, J.immy from the game Mouthwashing. The fact he assaulted his coworker is incredibly important to the story of the game, there is no denying it or any chance that this could be some gross misinterpretation. Not that Rot tries to deny this. She understands who Jimmy is. She just choices to ignore it.

________________

________________

And I find that really fucking disturbing. Considering how she assures people she doesn't condone his actions and how she says she takes SA seriously, then why the fuck would you even ship with him in the first place? Would also like to point out that if you do choose to ignore the worst flaw of his character... there's still so much more to him that's simply bad. But that's irrelevant/personal opinion. J.immy is a well written character and villain, I can agree, however he is a man who should not be touched with a ten foot pole

Considering a lot of her harassment towards A was about how bad A was for "mischaracterizing" a shared F/o and how A diverged from canon, and how much she disliked A for it, I find it very hypocritical for her to ignore J.immy's biggest flaw. The fact she doesn't mention his actions in game isn't something I didn't notice either, whether that's intentional or not I'm not sure, but it still feels gross

She and others also mention the character K.enjaku. However, I have not watched/read J.J.K. so I have no comment on that.

My final note on this is simply. I don't care if you ship with villains, I myself have multiple characters that are villains or bad people that I hold dearly. (this is a reason why i'm hesitant to talk about this in particular) however. There's just some things and characters you shouldn't fucking touch.

The last thing I will add to this edit is her stance on pro.shipp.ing. She's reprimanded past friends for reblogging posts from pro.shippers, she's threatened to call them out as pro.ship for it. She also pointblank puts on her blog that she doesn't want that part of the community to interact with her. Except she still continues to reblog posts with the pro tags. People make mistakes, but the fact she's scolded and threatened people for doing the same while these posts get to stay on her blog upsets me

**I've also been given screenshots of dark content she's reblogged. Now I do agree with the statement that dabbling in darker themes with ships is fine (there's some big scary ""n*ance"" in that comment). I won't shame someone for enjoying fucking idk kidnapping or unhealthy relationship dynamics. Again, I don't think I'm the right person to play holier than thou on a high horse, but I feel it's worth mentioning since someone went as far as to send me those screenshots.

Warning for allusions to SA in the 3rd/nonfiltered post

________________

^^ last screenshot is added simply because nonsharervents has a "bad rep" because OP is neutral to/allows pro.shippers to interact

________________

[justin-chapmanswers]

you set twitter on fire with pronouns howd you do that

Uhhhhh yeah so. I've been glancing here and there to all of that. For context, people noticed a pronoun adjustment on my Twitter page, yadda yadda, and started making posts about it. Then those posts started getting heat for a variety of reasons. Some that seemed to some to be using misgendering for humor (via meme), some that are pushing against parasociality, some that generally think that spectacle with this stuff should be avoided since I didn't even make a post about it or anything. Etc.

And uh. Ya'know. I vibe with a lotta that.

But tbh while I'm not really one to enjoy spotlight, idk, I don't mind people just generally bringing that stuff up and noting it. If it makes people feel good to see someone they can relate to, sure why not. The only thing that actively concerns me is seeing people argue or attack as a result of me. Let's just keep things chill if we cannn. I feel like everyone that's posted on the subject is all on the same side. None of us are here pushing for the limitation or elimination of lgbtqia people and experiences. That's the kind of thing always worth pushing back against. But I just hope to see everyone in this community vibing and letting joy flow.

When we were working on S3E9 and the writing team was trying to break down the initial story conceit where Goo would initially be a little weirded-out and confused after Bot revealed themself to a non-Bow robot, I was the one who pitched "hey how about we flip the story around to exemplify something a little more specific that also shines a more positive light on Bot and Goo's relationship? How about trying an angle where Goo is characteristically hyper-positive about what they've learned about Bot, but the conflict comes from the intensity and spectacle Goo comes at it with? Then Bot may be uncomfortable, but understands it comes from a good place?" -- I was excited to see that it was the direction the episode ended up going in, both because it felt appropriately lighter, and it felt personal. Making changes in how you present and want to be perceived can be so difficult, and that comes with such a deep well of complicated feelings. But all this to say, yeah I sometimes feel overwhelmed being perceived in online spaces, but even with that in mind, I'd still rather see silliness and celebration than conflict. But that's just meeeee.

Be good to yourselves, be good to each other. I am not mad at anyone. Best wishes. :)

EDIT: Do appreciate all people out there posting for the purpose of defending me. I don't wanna downplay the fact that y'all care, it means a lot. Just figure best to not fan any more flames. All's okay.

[fuctacles]

Congrats on 800 followers!

For the request thing…I would love to see something (smutty and/or fluffy) about Transmasc Eddie being comforted by cis Steve. Maybe after being misgendered in regard to their relationship?

I love your writing so much!

Thank you so much <3 I hope this works :3 800 wc for 800 698 followers, M rating | Ao3

"You can't bring your girlfriend into the bathroom, man."

"Excuse me?"

Just this is enough to put Steve into attack mode. He can feel Eddie's hand tighten around his in warning.

"Yeah, we have a no-bathroom-fucking policy after the last incident." The guy that stopped them has the decency to at least look bashful, rubbing his cheek awkwardly. Steve can almost sympathize, if stopping horny couples is a task he's supposed to do on the daily.

Almost.

"I'm sure me and my boyfriend can find a better place to fuck," he says dryly.

The guy's eyes widen, then flicker to the side, where Eddie is hovering awkwardly.

"Shit, dude, I'm so sorry—"

"So do you stop only hetero couples?" Steve interrupts him with a quirk of an eyebrow, bitch mode in full swing. "Or did your management just forget queer people exist?"

He opens his mouth, but closes it, rendered speechless.

"Or are they actually heterophobic and want only gay sex to happen in their bathrooms?" Steve cocks his head to the side.

"I don't—"

"So can me and my boyfriend go pee or...? We'll hold our hands while doing so," he raises their joined palms. "But nothing more, I promise."

"Just go," the man says tiredly, his expression pained.

"Thanks," Steve nods to him. "And consider simple no-fucking signs."

Finally free from the bar worker, Eddie pulls Steve towards the bathroom. Once inside and away from the loud music, he falls against the door with a sigh.

"Sorry," he says, hands hiding his face.

"What for?" Steve asks, latching the door closed.

"I don't know," Eddie groans in frustration. "For not cutting my hair, maybe? Maybe then I'd look like a man," he scoffs.

"Do I have to list off all the guys with long hair again?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Ozzy Osbourne, Dio, Slash..." he starts listing on his fingers anyway.

"Steve."

Steve drops his hand.

"Listen, if that guy assumes every person with long hair is a girl, then clearly he's not listening to enough metal."

Eddie lets out an involuntary snort, and Steve grins at the sound.

"And should we believe what an uncultured philistine without taste has to say?"

"No," Eddie admits with a fond roll of his eyes.

"Good," Steve smiles and leans down to kiss him. "Because I love your hair."

"I love it too," Eddie groans, his frustration still not gone. "I just wish it didn't make me feel this way."

"I know, Eds. But it's okay to feel like this, it's normal that it hurts," Steve reminds him, wrapping him in a hug. "You're a man to those who matter, who know what good music is."

Eddie's laughs gets muffled against his shoulder.

"That's true."

"And you're not going to change things you like about yourself because of a stranger's opinion."

"Hell no."

They stay quiet, just enjoying the warmth and comfort of their embrace, until Eddie speaks up again.

"Thank you."

"I'm just reminding you your own words."

"Still."

"Well, in that case, you're welcome, baby."

"Okay, but now I really have to pee."

They disentangle themselves to reach the urinals, but not before Steve lands another peck on his lips.

Eddie always takes longer in the bathroom, considering the time it takes him to disentangle and adjust his packer, but once he's free, he sees movement in his periphery. Steve is holding out his hand.

With a laugh, he grabs it, so they can pee hand in hand.

Once at they are at the sinks, they meet each other's eyes in the mirror.

"I kind of wanna fuck in the bathroom now," Steve admits.

Eddie makes a face and looks pointedly around. It's not the worst bathroom he's been in, but it's still a bar bathroom.

"You're not fucking me here," he says decisively. Steve hums.

"No, but you could fuck me."

Now that's a thought. One Eddie didn't plan in advance.

"Sorry, left my dick at home."

"Babe, you can make me come on just your fingers," Steve reminds him, leaning sideways against the sink to properly look at him.

Eddie pulls a strand of hair over his mouth at the reminder.

"Well..."

"Or we can always make a show and pretend just for kicks." His boyfriend suggests with a mischievous smile.

That, makes Eddie's eyes sparkle.

"We absolutely can," he quickly agrees.

Steve throws himself at the door with a rough slam, and moans in his best impression of a cheesy porn star.

"Fuck, I love you so much," Eddie attacks his mouth with no less enthusiasm. He starts moving his hips against his leg and groan to the rhythm, Steve rattling the door and whimpering along. "I can still fuck you after, right?"

Steve moans again, now more genuinely from the mere thought.

"You'd try not to."

I suck at tags: @blasvemous @wheneverfeasible @phantomcat94

[pumpumdemsugah]

Racism would be easier if white people thought we were human like them, but they think their experiences are deeper than ours, and we're crude beasts, so know better. I still can't believe a white Polish person who literally struggles speaking English had the arrogance to tell me what Black women experience. I tell them that a Black woman was kicked out of women's toilets because she's a gender non-conforming lesbian and the experience of misgendering isn't a core part of the Black female experience so insisting it is isnt accurate and these prick points to a fucking meme. My Black ass words meant that little

People on social media just love to lie and not engage with history to the point this white Polish person who can not speak English well tells me I don't understand. You people are far too comfortable mentioning us because we're objects and not people. For years I keep saying the way people bring up Black women and (white) trans women stinks of racial entitlement and not solidarity and people are purposefully misinterpreting Black history to paint the dehumanisation of Black people as a gender issue identitical to trans people when it was a racial caste system where white people debated if Black people could feel pain, learn, had souls or if it was possible to impregnate mixed race Black people because they saw them like infertile mules.

When H&M had that campaign that included a white trans woman that used to be on here and a female body builder and I found out a female body builder who's Black was being harassed. All I saw were people gloating she's being harassed and not the skinny white trans woman. No care or sympathy for this woman. It's then I knew Black women are fodder for these people and don't actually care about how Black women experience stuff.

We've come to a point where you need to tell white lefty people everything that happens to us isn't because we're Black. White people don't own other human experiences and oppression. The fact Serena Williams gets harassed for how she looks and her sister Venus doesn't its clear as day it's not simply because she's Black and dark skin and you're not engaging with why people love to attack her but we're not going to do that because insisting Black women get misgendered for being Black women and no other reasons like being butch or muscular helps suburbanite white transpeople feel less ugly and that's the most important thing in the world. Who fucking cares why anything happens to Black women or what happened during chattel slavery, we can make shit up as long as we threw the Black women a bone and say they're oppressed even if you talk about it inaccurately on purpose

I'll always bring up the fit white trans women threw when Black women told them not to use Say her name. Everything we do is for them, and we don't get to have anything about our own experiences. That's what solidarity is. How does it benefit other people and you can never criticise them because it makes them feel bad and can't come up with their own shit

People like talking about the racism from different groups of oppressed white people and skip over the deep levels of entitlement from white trans people cause they bring up the Blacks as a shield.

[dollypopup]

honestly? I think Antonia and Luke are really cute together

Now, let it be known I am NOT a shipper, and I'm not following her or digging into anything. Everything I know is basically through osmosis when people tag stuff about it in the spaces I actually follow, and I think shipping real people who I will never know is weird and invasive, so let's get that clear

however, considering the narrative they've shown us, they seem like a pretty healthy couple. As furious as people get about them (and honestly, it's JUST because Antonia isn't Nicola, and thus many fans can't project onto her the way they do with Nicola), I think it's sweet that they turn work events into dates. I don't see what people are spouting about how she's 'fame hungry' or 'using him'. The woman was wide-eyed at BOSS. When they walked out of the car, she seemed entirely floored. And who wouldn't be? You're being subject to constant flash photography and tons of people demanding things of you. But they showed up, had a good time, and then went back to eat pasta in bed. At his other work events, like BAFTAs pre-party or the actual ceremony, they seem to make a time of it. Cuddling up, holding hands, giving cheek smooches.

I mean. . .come on. She's coming with him to a work event. No matter how glamorous it may look to us, it's still a work event. A work event in which she will often be left on her lonesome. But she gets dressed up and she comes with him and she makes a time of it. They get their pictures taken as a couple professionally, wear cute clothes, eat nice food, and hold hands. That's sweet!!!

Whilst I do not know her, what I DO know is what she's faced, and this woman stuck around through horrible vitriol from the fanbase, constant misogyny, insults about her body, her work, her very existence. They attacked her on her personal instagram pages, went after her family, made up malicious rumors about her, misgendered her, body shamed her. She watched what felt like the whole world want her boyfriend with another woman. She's a civilian. This is not a celebrity who is accustomed to fielding that kind of situation.

But she stayed.

That is capital L Loyalty, okay? Like, she must really, genuinely like him. And I'll be real: I'd stick it out for Luke, too, I mean, the man is a gem, but if this isn't baptism by fire, I do not know WHAT would be. People talk about 'oh, where are the real ones? There are no more real ones anymore'- I think she's a real one. As a woman who dates other women, if she put up with as much as Antonia did, and decided to stand by me? You don't let go of her. That's pretty rare.

Because what has she actually gotten out of the whole situation? Is she suddenly rich? Getting all these jobs? Has magazine covers and exclusive interviews? No. She seems to be making her life out of her own merit for the most part. I mean, people make fun of her being a working dancer and model picking up the less glamorous gigs, but what is that BUT making her life of her own merit? That's what most dancers DO. No, mostly what she's gotten out of it all is abusive commentary and a need for a much more private life- but on the other hand, she got a relationship with him. If that's not devotion, idk???

But even if she DID get a few gigs from his connections- so what? What would be SO wrong with that? There's no proof she has, but why would it be horrible? That's what networking and making connections IS. Luke's known for giving his loved ones a hand. He's been given one from them, too. This is a man who couchsurfed in his best friend's apartment, bartending to make ends meet. He knows what it's like to go without, so why would it be such a bad thing for him to help out someone he cares about? I'm not saying he has, but after everything she's had to deal with, yeah, I think she's well within her rights to be cheesing on a red carpet getting her face smooched for the world to see. Good for her! All things considered, they seem like a couple who spends a lot of personal time together, vacations, date nights, running errands, who make the most of the situation they're in. They're loved up, happy, hot people attending events together. Most couples are significantly worse in real life.

idk, from where I'm sitting, people have made all these assumptions to build their meanspirited narrative on. This idea that Luke is so hungry for fame, and so Antonia is, too. But I think @rainybraindays put it best.

"They are not "begging for the camera" they're attractive, and hes popular so photographers at these events know they can get a good deal on their work that features them. Theres no nda or blackmail, they're just a more lowkey couple, likely because neither seemed to be really searching for the fame, shes just dating a guy she cares for, and hes just pursuing his passion and hit big"

People are so harsh and critical of these two. First it's 'he wouldn't claim her!' (like luggage. the misogyny of it all) Now it's 'ugh, she's everywhere'. First it's 'she's evil and using him' then it's 'what he's put that poor girl through!' but the reality is, no matter those criticisms and bullying, they're happy with each other, and they've decided their relationship is pretty serious

And honestly they're really cute together

Fight me

[menlove]

tbhhhh one mistake I see a lot of fellow trans people fall into is using gender essentialiast rhetoric when it suits us as a comeback to transphobia. like a trans man on testosterone will have a beard and get misgendered and be like "wow you think THIS is a woman?" and everyone and their brother will clown on the transphobe for it

but the thing is, there ARE women who look exactly like that person! there are women with beards! trans women, cis women w pcos, intersex women, women who have gone on testosterone for gender reasons but aren't men & still identify as women, the list goes on

and the same is true in the opposite

like I do completely get where they're coming from (& felt the same disbelief myself when getting misgendered at times, when I was identifying as a binary trans man), but I think it's just. more harmful than helpful.

if we really want to accept that people can look any which way and still be any gender, we can't be falling back onto the idea that man = broad and hairy and woman = hairless and petite

it's Tempting but like. there's other ways to dunk on transphobes. and talk about misgendering without acting like their mistake is seeing you as the wrong gender rather than that their mistake was maliciously trying to harm you by attacking a core part of your identity bc they clocked you as trans

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Jason Dean dating someone who's transmasc

Warnings: brief mentions of transphobia, canon typical stuff such as bullying, swearing, violence, murder, etc, slight suggestive things but nothing that's full on smut (I might make another post with that later), smoking (because we all know our boy JD smokes like a chimney), mentions of dysphoria, mentions of menstrual cycles/periods, some forcemascing by JD (sorry I couldn't resist)

A/N: I did a Veronica version of this like two years ago and since I'm currently obsessed with JD (and it's pride month) I felt the urge to write one for him too (also because I've come to the conclusion that I might just be transmasc and not genderfluid so this is mostly just written for me)

I wanna start off by saying that yes JD is an asshole, but he'd never be (intentionally) transphobic. However, if he thought you were trans then he would push your buttons a little bit to see how long it would take you to admit it, especially if you met before you came out

Let's say you two started dating when you still saw yourself as a girl or something (I know that JD's supposed to be "straight" or whatever but he's bisexual to me okay fight me on it). If he saw you acting a little uncomfortable being referred to as his girlfriend or having to use the women's restroom at school he would 100% call you out on it

Not in a degrading way or anything like that, just to see how you would react to it. The second you start to get defensive or give him the silent treatment he shuts up, not only because he accomplished what he set out to do but also because he feels a little bad

Eventually you just decide to rip off the bandaid and come to terms with the fact that you're actually a trans guy, him being one of the first people you tell. His only real response to this "startling revelation" is to look at you and go "Yeah I kind of figured that one out for myself already, I was just waiting for you to"

Your worries that he'd want to break up with you after telling him disappeared almost immediately as you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes at him. "Ha ha, very funny smartass"

If you decide you want to cut your hair shorter then he will absolutely offer to help you with it, insisting that there's no reason for you to go to a professional with him there (it's totally not just because he's very possessive and would never let anyone else touch your hair other than him, that's crazy)

You may have wore his clothes some before, but he practically begs you to do it after you come out. Why would you ever need to go shopping when you can just raid his closet, y'know? Plus seeing you in them really turns him on

He gets ten times more protective afterwards too, constantly following you around to make sure you're okay. You could have classes that take place at the same time on opposite sides of the school and he'll always skip his to join you. Eventually the teachers just move his class schedule around to match with yours since he never attends his anyway

Always has an arm wrapped around you no matter what, especially if he sees someone like Kurt and Ram passing by. It's best to distract him with kisses or something so he won't hear the things they call you and get mad (he hears them anyway but can't resist making out with you so he lets it slide for the time being)

Speaking of making out, he does it with you everywhere and all the time, whether it's a modern au or the 80s. He's not worried about what people say or do, usually letting his gun do all the talking. He shoots them is what I'm trying to get at here lol

Most people are much too scared to even breath too loud near you because of your attack dog boyfriend but if it ever does happen that you get bullied (whether that be verbally or physically) he will go out of his way to make sure the local morgues, cemeteries, and funeral homes have plenty of business

Feeling anxious or stressed about having to spend time with/be around someone who misgenders/deadnames you? Just let him tag along. He might not say much but what he will do is very passive-aggressively correct said person on their "mistakes". It pretty much always works as no one wants to argue with a guy who frequently carries a gun

It's not the best habit around but he probably gets you hooked on smoking at least occasionally, especially if he hears you complain about your voice being too high. Oh, you're worried that you sound too feminine and "girly"? He has the perfect way to get you that low and gravelly voice that you want! You think he's talking about voice training or something until he hands you a pack of cigarettes and with the most serious expression ever says "these will do wonders"

Even if you don't smoke religiously like he does it's kind of hard to resist it completely given how often he lights up a cigarette (and yes, he will blow smoke into your face, because while he loves you he's also an asshole and thinks it's funny when you wrinkle up your nose in disgust at him)

He's not the best at comforting you when it comes to days where you feel dysphoric. Like, he won't flat out say that he thinks you're acting ridiculous because he knows it would only make things worse, but he's also not great when dealing with emotions, so the most he might do is let you cling to him while he gives you a few awkward pats on the back

If this goes on for days borderlining on weeks, however, that's when he'll start to act less sensitive and give you a bit of tough love. "What are you talking about saying that you 'don't look like a guy'? Are you crazy? You really think life would be better if you were still living as a girl? Do you honestly think that would make you happy?"

It surprisingly works, believe it or not. Even if you know he's purposely trying to rile you up it ends up making you feel better and more confident in yourself. Anytime he notices you starting to slip back into feelings of self doubt or insecurity, he just wraps you up in his arms and whispers soft encouragements in your ear. "You were never a girl, you just need to work a little bit harder than others to grow into the man that you are. If anything, that's a testament to your strength for being able to do that"

This certainly happens whenever you're on your period and feel grouchier or less confident than usual. "You're so strong for being able to endure this every month, did you know that? You're much braver than I am, I doubt I'd be able to get through it as well as you"

Sometimes you almost start crying because of how emotional his words make you feel, and sometimes you roll your eyes with annoyance while muttering "you're a condescending asshole" under your breath. Either way it ends up making you feel better, especially when he offers to rub your lower abdomen when your cramps get too bad

If you decide to start HRT then he wants to be there to help you take the shots, even if you insist you can do it yourself (he likes being part of the process of helping you "turn into" a man). Same thing if you use T gel or whatnot, he gets really pouty if you ever apply it without him

He's not really the best person to do "guy bonding" activities with unless you like making pipe bombs or planning the murders of people you hate (hypothetically speaking, of course) but if there's anything like that you want to try out then he'll definitely be there to support you. Like I don't know, hunting/fishing? Or watching sports games while drinking beer? Or breaking out the toolbox and fixing things around the house? Sorry I don't really know things that guys do despite being one myself 😭

The only exception to that is probably car maintenance. I see him as being very protective over his motorcycle and learning how to take care of it himself so he doesn't have to worry about taking it to the shop and having them screw it up. He'd be happy to teach you about how to change your own oil and might even teach you how to ride it as long as you don't accidentally scratch up his paint job. He might not kill you for it, but he will be very upset and end up ignoring you for a few hours afterwards

Purposely introduces/refers to you as his boyfriend in front of others just to see your face light up with confidence. It's not like JD has a lot of friends or anything but anyone that he does know feels as if they've met you already because of how he much he talks about you (he's totally that one annoying person you know who never shuts up about their partner ever)

All in all, I'd say he's a relatively good boyfriend in general, but especially if you're transmasc. Solid 8/10 (one point was deducted for his slight insensitivity and another was due to his crazy streak. Sorry JD I promise I still love you </3)

Main masterlist | Heathers masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

End notes: this ended up being much longer than I anticipated but I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever at all

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🏷 taglist: @missmewts @ghot-girl @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @the-night-owl-blr @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @pregnantmen @theonetruepotato87

[the-great-ladyg]

Did someone notice in the new Somerton's video that he didn't adress any of the misogyny or transphobia accusations? Like, yeah, he said "people say I hate women but that's not true" and only that. And he also addressed the misinformation, in which we can include the misgendering, but he still didn'h fully talk about this even when those accusations were, along with plagiarism, the most talked about on the internet.

This dude didn't give any reason for why "he doesn't hate" women or trans people, it truly was a "source: dude trust me" and Somerton expects us to believe him, when no, he threw shit on women in every chance he got, he showed transphobia in many times for no fucking reason other than he's got something against women and trans people.

And he also didn't address any of the racism people has pointed out since a long time, but more specially since HBomberguy and Todd's video. This dude only focused on plagiarism, and even that he sucked at since he implied it was an accident. How can you plagiarize on accident?, you have to write, to read, to check what you're doing, he read and Nick's scripts, he must have noticed the copying and still left it with no citation. He said he loves investigating and reading, then he must notice the copying, yet he also said he "didn't notice", like this dude can't recognize he did this on purpose, it was all "an accident".

Also, he just tried shifting the blame, placing it on Nick or, again, like it was an accident and he didn't mean to it. Somerton knew what he was doing, all of us are taught at school, specially college, that plagiarism not only is bad, it it diminishes the quality and credibility of the person that stole those words, it can get you expelled or fired, and let's not forget the people you're hurting by stealing from them, and this case the people whose experiences and words were stolen. Somerton is in a more privileged position than many people in the LGBTQ+ community since he's a cis white man, and yet he decided to attack this way many POC and trans people, not only he stole their words, but he also used racist and transphobic rhetoric, he misgendered, he erased sexualities and put all of us on the same box of "cis straight white women".

"I wanted to make my channel a safe space", yeah, sure man, like saying all the negative things of an MLM media is straight cis women's fault, or misgendering, erasing the bisexuality of a woman or changing "trans" for "queer" is going to make to make your channel a safe for queer women and trans people.

I just deep down know he won't change at all, maybe except for the citations, but we must expect he'll continue being a misogynist racist transphobe dumbass that will keep ignoring this accusations and using the homophobia card.

I really feel sorry if he truly felt so bad he harmed himself and ended up on an hospital, if that's real I hope he gets better and never gets to that point again. Maybe I'm naive, but I want to believe this is not a tactic to manipulate us to forgive him, but... idk, I just expect anything from this man that has used the homophobia card to protect his ass from any criticism.

But talking by myself, as a genderfluid AFAB person who consumes and creates queer content and felt so insulted by his racism, his misogyny and transphobia, and noticing how he avoided the topic, I don't accept his apology and hope he disappears from the internet before he can do any more damage.