#but you probably won't get that many actors together at the same time and place

[mzannthropy]

You know what would be cool, if Sam Claflin and Pierre Niney, the two latest actors to play the Count of Monte Cristo, did a photoshoot together.

[tokyo-tower-symbolism]

What does it mean to be a fan in Revue Starlight?

In the Revue Starlight Movie, the climax of the movie has Hikari admit to Karen’s dead stage girl body that the reason she ran away to London was because she was scared of becoming Karen’s fan. And because this sin is so great, she was unable to forgive herself and in an act of repentance she had to leave the one she held dearest. And also running away was easier than dealing with her emotions.

But what does it mean to be a fan, and why is Hikari so offended at the thought of it?

Click here to read this with pictures since apparently tumblr is enforcing the picture limit now. Personally I would read it there since that's how I meant for this to be read, but if you've seen the Revue Starlight Movie as many times as I have, feel free to just read the text on it's own and like picture in your head what I'm talking about. It's basically the same experience

Part 1: Hikari is a hater

In her following monologue, Hikari talks about the time the two of them first watched Starlight, the play that inspired them to stand on stage together as kids. 

It all started with that Starlight. The promise we made back then decided our future.

In episode 4, while catching up,  Hikari and Karen both affirm to each other that the reason they stand on stage is because of their promise after Starlight. Although noticeably, Karen brings up the play, Hikari brings up the promise.

This girl... she got the role of the mean and spoiled Lavina in the next play,

But it might get confusing when you first watch the movie and see that Hikari was already an actor even before she met Karen. She was super into theater as a kid and was not shy about it one bit. In fact, the reason she invited Karen to a show in the first place was because that was her thing that no one else around them was doing yet. So it doesn’t kinda make sense for her to have only started acting after watching that show.

The brilliance of the stars we saw that day... I didn't feel like I could reach it, and I was scared. On even aiming for it, if I couldn't reach it

But while Starlight was the birth of Karen as a stage girl, it was the death of Hikari. Just like Karen, she loved that performance. It was amazing, and the actors were so dazzling that she couldn’t ever see herself matching it. So she was ready to give up. And if Karen wasn’t there, she probably would have stopped acting entirely after that performance, since there was nothing left for her on stage.

You brought me back to life.

But Karen was there. She asked Hikari to become stars like them someday, and even though Hikari thought she could never match the performance she saw that day, she still had a reason to stand on stage because she promised Karen to be there, and no one else can take that role from her.

And although we only got this new perspective in the movie, a lot of this was actually already in the show, we just didn’t have the context.

I won't come back until I've become a star If I didn't push you away like that, I'd end up wanting to see you. You love the stage, and you love Starlight. And that's why I'm running, We'll reunite beneath the spotlight. On top of the stage where you are waiting for me. So that we can become stars together.

In episode 8, we finally see more of Hikari’s past and she has a rather interesting thought process about how to fulfill their promise. She didn’t think she could become a star if she was with Karen. Hikari notes that Karen has an unabashed love for the stage, but says nothing like that about herself. Instead of loving Starlight, her real reason for being on stage is the promise she made to Karen. And so, she can't do what Karen does and love the stage wholeheartedly like that. Following in Karen’s footsteps won’t take her to where she needs to be, since they’re just that different. After all, the performance that made Karen want to become a star was the same one that made Hikari give up.

So instead, she runs away from Karen, planning on becoming a star on her own and only then meeting up with Karen once she’s ready. And of course Hikari has no doubts that Karen will be a star herself by that point.

Hikari runs because she didn’t become a Stage Girl because of Starlight, she became a Stage Girl because Karen asked her to shine on stage together as stars. And at that moment, Karen was so dazzling that Hikari was inspired to dream as well. But the last time Hikari became a fan, she gave up on her dreams. 

But Karen was so dazzling that it scared Hikari. If she became a fan of Karen, she might end up giving up on her dream once again. Because Karen is amazing. So amazing, that Hikari might not be able to keep up and might give in. And she couldn’t bear to do that to Karen, to have her Starlight all by herself. And that’s why Hikari runs away. She’s sure that if she goes off to London to train and become the best in the world, when she sees Karen again she won’t get overwhelmed and give up this time.

But then again, Hikari is kinda stubborn and often makes unfounded leaps in logic all the time, so maybe we shouldn’t just take her words at face value.

Part 2: Actually Hikari was right, being a fan sucks

So you better praise me, cheer me on, and buy me lots of candy. You're my number one fan after all. In return, you'll be the first to see me shine the brightest in the world.

In episode 6, we have another pair of childhood friends who made a promise to each other about standing on stage. Only this time, they explicitly bring up the interaction between a fan and their star.

Kaoruko lays out the give and take relationship, in return for giving her what she wants all the time and pampering her, Futaba will get to be the first to see her shine the brightest in the world. And like they’re kids so it’s obviously not supposed to be that serious, but it kinda is? 

Like this is literally the relationship between the top star and the losers in the auditions. The losers give up their brilliance to the top star, and in return the top star can put on the stage of fate and perform a brilliance never seen before. 

The Audition steals the brilliance of the losers and leaves nothing behind. And although we never get to see the proper aftermath of an Audition and the relationship between the Top Star and the losers, we can kinda guess what might happen using Mahiru and Karen as the framework. 

You light me up with your glimmer, Without your glimmer, I can't do anything!

Mahiru became a fan of Karen during their first year. She was nervous before the 99th Starlight, but Karen’s optimism and support dazzled her in a way she had never experienced before. She gets blinded by Karen’s brilliance and decides to give Karen everything she has, always tending to her needs and supporting her by the start of the show. This is because Mahiru thinks she has nothing and needs to rely on Karen’s glimmer to even try and stand on stage. It’s not sustainable, especially when Hikari comes and Karen finds other priorities. It’s also not good for Karen either, since in their Revue Mahiru urges Karen to go back to how she was before when she always overslept and came in late, if only because that was when Mahiru was the one who got to be the closest one to see her shine the brightest.

So despite Mahiru being a fan, she didn’t want to see a better performance. She was satisfied with what she already saw, and didn’t need any more. But is it really admiration if she couldn’t properly see the star? After all, Karen was proud of her own improvements as an actor after seeing Hikari again and breaking out of her malaise, but Mahiru couldn’t see the change for the better, and only saw the departure from her ideal.

Because to be a fan is to be blinded by the brilliance of the star. The star shines so brightly that the fan can see nothing but the star, and any disruptions are just obstructions from that vision.

We see this taken all the way to the extreme with Nana in the Revue of Hunting, but unlike Karen, Junna changed for the worse, so Nana might actually have a point. Who said that?

Karen went from lazing around and not taking things seriously to practicing non stop and becoming determined to win the auditions. And it’s things like that which help her achieve her dream, she’s dazzling.

Meanwhile Junna decided to take things slow, instead of auditioning for the biggest and best troupe like everyone else, she chooses to take her time studying in college so she can continue learning and one day be among the greats. After all, the reason she worked herself so hard was because she thought she wasn’t there yet, and even though now she knows her limits, she still thinks she isn’t there yet. The root issue wasn’t solved.

And it’s a slight difference from the show, but it’s there, and it’s a big deal to Nana. Nana wanted to see everyone’s next stages. After Hikari joined, she thought everyone’s new selves were so enchanting, she wanted to see more. But the audition was when everyone was giving their all, and that’s not sustainable. Eventually they need to rest, but that’s not as compelling.

You... were beautiful Why... is it in past tense?!

Nana tells Junna that she used to be dazzling, and now she’s not. And this hurts Junna. Like Junna cries and I don’t think we’ve ever seen her get like that before. Because it’s Nana, and she’s the closest person Junna has. Like Nana was the one Junna didn’t have to be strong in front of after collapsing in Episode 2. So it hurts for Nana of all people to say that.

But Nana was Junna’s fan. She gave Junna so much over the years, from the food to stopping the time loops, and I guess she became disillusioned when Junna didn’t fulfill her side of that deal, to shine the brightest in the world.

It’s a tragedy how the fan-star dynamic managed to get in the way of their relationship.

Nana felt betrayed by Junna not living up to her ideal, and that hurt too. 

My Junna-chan... Isn't that kind of role! You're... not my Junna-chan. I don't need the role you've given me. All the stages you've prepared for me, I'll cut them all short! The one who's being blinded by the light is you! Because! On this stage, right now, I am, The dazzling lead, Hoshimi Junna!!

But during that revue Junna is reborn and is more motivated than ever to continue acting. But despite this growth, Nana doesn’t believe in this new change. Just like Mahiru before, Nana doesn’t care if this change is for the better, she’s still thinking of that one specific snapshot of Junna, and this just isn’t the same.

But Junna calls out Nana for not properly looking at her. She’s blinded by Junna’s past dazzling light, so she can’t appreciate this new Junna. Because yeah Junna did foolishly, incessantly reach out to become the lead, and that was admirable, but the new Junna who claims the lead herself was just as much a part of her even back then. But Nana didn’t see that before because as a fan, she latched onto what she liked, but there is more to Junna than that.

I'm the one who lost. Me, not her! Tendo Maya hasn't lost! Not to anyone! My Maya would never lose here. Maya hasn't lost!

And speaking of people who latch onto what they like and end up missing the bigger picture, let’s take a look at Claudine at the end of episode 10. For all her talk about how she was going to be the one to beat Maya, she refuses to accept that Maya lost. Because despite everything she says, Claudine actually likes that Maya can beat her. In episode 10, she admits that Maya humbled her in those auditions and is thankful that she managed to grow out of her old haughty attitude created from her prior success.

But now Maya losing is unthinkable to her, she cannot see a way that could possibly happen. Instead she blames herself for their loss, throwing away her own pride with that button if it could even give Maya a chance of advancing in the audition. Because Claudine is Maya’s fan. Claudine has been a fan of Maya ever since she lost to her, and will not accept anyone else being her star. She admires her as an actor and sees all the effort that Maya puts into being the best. She envies her position and skills, but doesn’t think that she herself is quite there yet. She thinks there’s some quality Maya has that keeps Maya from losing and Claudine just doesn’t have it, so she just keeps trying, studying Maya and training after hours, just like Maya. 

And this assumption blinds her to any other possibilities on how Maya could lose. Neither Karen nor Hikari would have beat Maya on their own, but it was how they Starlighted together that beat Maya and Claudine. And Claudine would have never thought of that as Maya’s fan. She thought she wasn’t a match for Maya, and so her defeat was guaranteed from the start.

Nah, I'm sure that Tendo-san and Claud-chan will get the lead roles again. I guess we're no match for them.

And it’s not just Claudine. Everyone is in awe of Maya’s talent. This is just how things work at Seisho. In the first episode, Karen and everyone else in the class don’t even think they even have a chance at becoming the leads this year as long as Maya and Claudine are here. 

And it’s kinda interesting that Claudine is also that star for so many of them, right? Like Claudine never thought she could win, but for everyone else they were neck and neck. And sure part of it might just be the gulf in skill between the two and everyone else, but part of it is that Claudine can’t see herself objectively, like how everyone agrees she’s on par with Maya, because she doesn’t believe she can win.

And the rest of them don’t even think they could beat her.

But it’s one thing when it’s just one play you give up on. It’s another thing when it becomes such a habit that the stage girl gives up on her future just like all those other lead roles.

Are you okay with it, Junna? Not applying for the New National. I'm no match for people like Tendo-san, and you. But, That's just for now!

At the start of their third year, Junna gives up on auditioning for New National before even applying because she knows she is not a match for actors like Maya and Claudine who are a shoo in. 

Since you're Junna, I think you can become it. At least as good as Tendo Maya.

But like, that’s not true! Claudine even says that Junna could be just as good as Maya, she just needs to let herself. And it’s not just empty words, Claudine said the same of Futaba who also managed to get in. And Futaba herself specifically names Junna as a stage girl she admires who has something she doesn’t.

And alongside that, this is also really out of character from what we’ve seen of her in the show. Like when she had to sit in the audience for the finals, she literally studies them to beat them in the future. She refused to give up even when she lost! But because of this, Junna knows better than anyone how amazing the two of them are. And she tried so hard, time and time again, and nothing came of it. It’s not hard to see how she might have lost her way when the pressure closed in on her. But Junna still has plenty of fight left in her, this isn’t it for her. She’s going to continue to study so she can one day beat them. 

But I gotta say, this isn’t like what we’ve seen before of Junna. If anything, this is Hikari behavior!

Think about it, Junna says that she won’t be able to match them, just like what Hikari thought about that performance of Starlight. But Junna still plans on continuing to study until she can one day become the lead. That was literally Hikari’s plan and why she studied at RATA so she would some day come back as a star to stand across from Karen.

And this is clearly not the right attitude since this conversation was what directly led to Nana starting the Revue of Annihilation, where she called everyone else out on not being ready for the next stage. Also it didn’t really work for Hikari either the first time.

You've been blinded by the stars you can't reach, and now, You can't see anything!

Back in the Revue of Hunting, Nana lays out what exactly happened to Junna that kept her from finding the stage where she could be the dazzling star at Seisho. Because she kept studying Maya, Claudine, Karen, and all those famous authors, she saw how great they were and lost sight of how great she is. Instead of aiming for them, she tried to avoid the brilliance of the star, but that isn’t enough if she ever wants to fulfill her dream, just like how it isn’t enough for Hikari.

The auditions haven't even started yet, so don't decide who will be playing the leads.

Because Junna said it herself in episode 1. The result hasn’t been decided yet, so Junna preemptively bowing out is just doing herself a disservice. She is essentially giving up her brilliance so she can watch someone else be the top star and shine in her place.

After all, this is all just the story of Claire and Flora. In order to get Claire's memories back, the two of them climb the tower, but right before they pluck the stars and achieve their wishes, Flora is blinded and separated from Claire and the rest of the goddess, losing everything.

That is the fate of fans and their stars.

Part 3: Okay being a fan isn’t the worst thing in the world actually

I’ve been kinda harsh on fans in this essay so far. And while it is deserved, it would be misleading for me not to mention that Flora climbs that tower after she falls and joins Claire and the Goddesses again.

Cause keep in mind, all the characters genuinely admire each other. They think all their friends are amazing actors and are constantly hyping each other up. 

Maya and Claudine acknowledge each other as rivals and as the only one skilled enough to keep up. Junna admires the two of them and is constantly learning to one day beat them. Karen and Hikari both think Mahiru is dazzling, even if she doesn’t see it yet. Kaoruko and Futaba know beyond a shadow of a doubt the other is gonna be a star. And don’t even get me started on how much Nana loved the 99th production of Starlight.

And that’s not to mention that it was because Karen was a fan of that first production of Starlight that it inspired her to stand on stage. Being a fan is not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it keeps characters going. Claudine even says as much considering that she stagnated in her growth when she stopped chasing after Maya between their second and third years. Futaba found her own dream to become a star while following Kaoruko. It was the quotes that Junna admired that led to her creating her own words for comforting Nana in episode 9. And Nana kept winning those auditions because she wanted to see her admired 99th Starlight, again and again.

Earlier I mentioned how Junna gave up before she even started when it came to New National. There is actually another character in the same position as her, but unlike Junna, she has the same attitude towards New National from the start to the finish.

I know that it will be difficult to enter the troupe with my skill level. But... Nothing starts without people. I realized that from watching everyone else. So I can aim even higher, to the summit, My next step has to be as high as it can possibly be.

Futaba is a fan. She came to Seisho to follow Kaoruko, not because of her own ambitions, but she found them there. She wanted to become a star like Kaoruko and everyone else. Even if she’s not ready yet, she still wants to aim as high as she can and not just settle. And she learned that from everyone else. I’ve been harping on about how being a fan closes the door on opportunities by giving up before even trying, but that doesn’t have to be true. If anything, being a fan can open possibilities that the person would have never realized on their own.

All of the stage girls are fans, that’s why they decided to stand on stage. And that’s why they can understand each other.

I see... You were scared. You're the same as me, then.

Hikari has been running away from Karen for over 12 years, that’s most of her life. But it only takes 1 revue with Mahiru for her to change her tune, because Mahiru is the only one who could understand her fear.

That whole thing about being afraid of becoming Karen’s fan? That already happened to Mahiru. Compared to Karen, Mahiru thought she didn’t have any brilliance, but that isn’t true. The people closest to her, like Karen or her Grandma, never thought that for a second. They saw the best in her and pushed her to aim higher. The inadequacy was all in Mahiru’s head, and it kept her from realizing her full potential. But little by little, with encouragement from everyone around her, Mahiru got past that. She was able to find her own warm and compassionate shine. 

After all, even after their revue, Mahiru continued to take care of Karen, but also started to take care of herself. She kicked Karen out of their room because she knew Karen would make cleaning their room harder, when before she would have been so anxious if Karen ever left her side. Mahiru no longer flinched whenever Karen got close to another girl (for instance Hikari, but also take a look at how Mahiru acts around Junna in the first two episodes), and instead could be happy for her that she fulfilled her dream with Hikari. Mahiru herself managed to find and achieve her dream of joining New National. She never could have done that before when she was blinded by Karen’s brilliance. 

But it was Karen’s brilliance that soothed her nerves during that first Starlight. It was Karen who convinced Mahiru that she has her own shine in their revue. And it was Karen who introduced Mahiru to Hikari, someone she also wanted to perform with.

You were a real stage actress!

And Hikari sees that. Mahiru was Karen’s fan, but now she’s a real stage actress, not just a stage girl. Hikari can become one too, but only if she stops running away from being Karen’s fan and accepts it. 

After all, Karen’s dazzling, but she’s not all that different from Hikari. By refusing to actually look at Karen, Hikari is just cutting off her own options to become more like Karen. 

Like, throughout the series Hikari grows by being like Karen. She didn’t plan on fulfilling their promise to become stars together in the auditions, that only happened because Karen inspired her. And so, Hikari’s weapon would have never transformed and they would have never been able to beat Maya and Claudine if Hikari kept running away from Karen. Or how both of their deepest desires were to do Starlight together, and it was only because Karen was so persistent and inspiring that Hikari finally admitted it so they could perform together.

Because Hikari has so much she can learn from Karen, just like how Karen learns so much from Hikari.

Hikari was the first one to introduce Karen to the stage. Karen can only focus at Seisho because Hikari is there. Karen only learns the true ending of Claire because she tries to understand Hikari by reading the original English version of the Starlight Gatherer.

Everyone's so enthused... Like that, they're just like your average fans.

Because in the end, Revue Starlight wants the stage girls to be fans. Stage Girls need to love what they’re doing and dream big. But they just can’t stay as fans.

Hikari-chan... is so pretty... She's terrifying. Hikari-chan makes me envious, Hikari-chan makes me frustrated, And I can't take my eyes of of her. I know, now. The reason why I'm standing on stage. I have to say them, The final lines. I... don't want to lose to you either, Hikari!

At the climax of the movie, Karen admires Hikari. Her feelings about Hikari are a mess, absolutely all over the place, but Hikari is the reason they exist. Karen can’t look away from her. And although that admiration gives her the epiphany of why she stands on stage, her admiration isn’t why she wants to stand on stage. Instead, it’s because she doesn’t want to lose to Hikari.

Because admiration comes with fear of the unknown. 

In the movie, we see so much fear. Fear of where the unknown future will take them. Fear of disappointing someone else or even themself. Fear of losing something precious along the way. Fear of Mahiru. 

Karen was scared to hear about Hikari in London because there was a chance Hikari forgot about their promise. Fear kept Hikari away for over a decade because Hikari was scared she would lose herself in Karen. Mahiru was scared of what would happen to her if Karen is taken away from her. Nana was scared she would lose her friends as time passed. Junna was scared to aim too high when picking colleges because she wasn’t sure if she was ready. Futaba didn’t tell Kaoruko about her future plans because she was scared of her potential reaction, and she was also scared she wasn’t good enough as an actor. Kaoruko was about to preemptively cut ties with Futaba because she was scared they would drift apart in the future. Claudine was scared she was missing something that Maya had, and if that meant she would never be good enough. Maya was scared that her true emotion drenched appearance was ugly and was willing to throw everything about herself away to become the perfect lead. Amemiya was too scared to face everyone after being unable to finish her script. And Masai was scared that their final performance might pale in comparison to last year’s.

It’s the unknown that scares them.

But the thing is, we don’t understand the things we admire, that’s why we are drawn to them, because someone else did something and we don’t know how. And there are two types of reactions to that, the feeling that you could never do that, and or the feeling that you want to try and do that too. 

In Revue Starlight, stage girls cannot be content with just being a fan in the audience, they must become a rival, because they want to perform like that too, no even better than that!

Karen doesn’t want to lose to Hikari, so she needs to find a new stage to put on a performance to challenge her. She can’t just give up because she doesn't know how to start. Even if she doesn’t have her future planned out, that feeling is the start of what’s needed.

And you know what, the Revue Starlight Movie is absolutely the product of this idea, because the people who made Revue Starlight are fans themselves, they love films and performances, but they weren’t just satisfied with that. They wanted to make something that wouldn’t lose to anything they saw before.

Part 4: Revue Starlight is about performances and is a performance so let’s get metatextual 

Revue Starlight wears its influences on its sleeves, from the Takarazuka to Utena, and it’s proud of it. (Or so I’ve heard. I haven’t actually seen either of them yet but I swear I’m gonna get to watching them eventually). But the movie goes even farther with the revues referencing genres like Yakuza films or events like the Olympics, and even specific scenes and vibes from films such as Mishima, King Louis XIV Le Roi Danse, and Mad Max: Fury Road. Revue Starlight doesn’t worry about never being as good as those movies, instead it uses them to tell its own story.

(If you would like to read about more of the references of the movie and how they are used you should definitely read the Borrowed Brilliance essay. It actually goes into a lot of the things I wrote in this essay, I just only remembered it existed after writing most of this so whoops. But it is still really good and I think more people should read it.)

I'm really scared about whether we can surpass that Starlight! It's the last stage we'll create with just us, the 99th Class! Until the end, I want to create it together with everyone!

During the kick off party, Masai admits she’s scared if their next production won’t be as amazing as their last one. But still, she wants to make it. She refuses to get caught up in her admiration of something that already existed. Instead she wants to do what she can now, to use that inspiration and make a production that someday rivals that stage. Because only you can make what you create. 

Even if someone else could do it better, even if you can’t do it as well as you hoped, you are the one making it, and like it or not, that’s going to include everything, from your own experiences to your own struggles. You’ll have to make compromises and won’t get everything exactly the way you want it. You won't be able to properly explain what’s in your head to your collaborators and ideas will get lost. You’ll look back in a year and think of everything you did wrong and how you would’ve done it better now. 

But you made it. And it’s out there. And someone out there will see it and they won’t know any of the struggles you faced while making it. They’ll just see the finished product. And they’ll have thoughts about it. And they might not even know the original works that inspired you to create either, that you are trying to rival.

And your work is going to be out there.

You're making a terrible face. But, You've written this much. It's great, Amemiya-san! I want to say this goddess's line!

When you compare your work to the others, you can’t think you’ll never be able to match them. That’s not gonna get you anywhere. Instead you need to want to rival those works someday. That’s the only way you’ll be able to put out something you can be proud of.

And that is what Revue Starlight wants out of fans.

[themusicsweetly]

Thank you for posting videos, pictures, and the Tribeca panel commentary on twitter. It is much appreciated. 🙏🏻

[ Anonymous #2 asked ]: Sarah, would you mind writing a S701 review since you were at the premiere last night? Don't mind spoilers and you can warn others if they don't want to read. Loved it when you did it before. Thanks!

Hello Anons! Thanks so much for both your asks! I hope you don't mind me combining both your asks.

You're so welcome, Anon #1! I so glad so many people enjoyed my posts about it! I'm very grateful that I've been able to go to these events for several years now. I know that so many of you don't get that opportunity, so I try to do what I can to bring it to you all even if only virtually. Things are always so much more fun when they're shared, anyway. After all, that's what fandom should be about! 💜

For anyone who missed it, you can check out my Twitter page for my full coverage of 92Y and the Tribeca Festival. But here's some GIF spam from my favorite of the videos I was able to capture this week!

Anon #2, yes of course I'll write up a summary of my thoughts. I know you said you don't mind them, but I will try my very best to not include any spoilers in it as I know it really does ruin it for some. But just in case:

~~~POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER 7x01 BELOW~~~ ~~~SERIOUSLY, DON’T @ ME THAT I DIDN’T WARN YOU~~~

Outlander 7x01, "A Life Well Lost"

As Caitriona + Sam have mentioned previously in interviews, 7x01 picks up right where 6x08 left off. No time jump or anything, which I was really glad for. The opening scene was SHOCKING and used something that I thought was really clever and really rude all at the same time lol. I can tell you that the audience gasped because of it. I feel this bit was extremely effectively done. Caitriona's micro-expressions really made it for me.

One thing that surprised me — and perhaps it shouldn't simply because Outlander has always been full of this — was that there were so many small moments of humor in this episode, despite the obvious dire situation Claire and Jamie are in (but really, when aren't they lol). There's a new small side character that both Claire and Jamie get to interact with that provides much needed comedic breaks. Even Jamie's menacing looks add to this. Claire especially, I feel, gets to use her biting wit (or just straight up cursing) to add some humor to the tenseness. There's one particularly funny scene that takes place on a boat and involves an interrupting officer that I so loved! The entire audience burst out laughing when we saw it.

While Caitriona + Sam were obviously amazing, I'll say the surprising standout actor in this episode wasn't them. I won't say who, but it's someone we're well acquainted with. There are moments straight out of the book that this actor just fully nails. We're so lucky to have such strong actors filling these side character roles and s/he is just fantastic. Their sincerity and conviction sold me completely.

As book readers can probably guess from the title and from where we are in the timeline, we know basically what will happen in this episode — and they to stick pretty well to it. Even so, it is still so satisfying to get to see it played out on screen. Claire's despair, hope, and heartbreak. Jamie's torment, anger, and determination. The relief of it all. It's all played so, so well across Caitriona + Sam's faces and in their line delivery. Sam said during the Tribeca panel that Jamie is perhaps "more frail" in this episode, and I think that can be said for both of them. Despite them being well versed in separation, I think every subsequent one after their 20 year split wears on them more and more. And they both play that so expertly, making the time that we do see them together just that much sweeter. I don't think it's too spoilery to say that yes, they do share several scenes together this episode so dinna fash!

As for Brianna and R*ger, their scenes are pretty well separate from the Jamie x Claire scenes. I don't really have much to say about them, except that they move certain other storylines that will become more important later on in the season forward. And only just so. While it was important to do so, honestly it felt a bit filler-like. That said, I am actually pretty excited for certain arcs for Brianna and Jemmy later on (while also hoping they don't include that storyline for R*ger... sorry, not sorry) and this brought them maybe half a step closer to it.

Other than the moment on the boat I had mentioned earlier, there are two scenes toward the end which I really loved. One was such a sweet moment straight out of the book with some really great book lines that I had very much wanted to hear. it is Classic™ Jamie x Claire, so you know Caitriona + Sam knocked it out of the park. The second is not a book scene (I believe?? I don't remember it anyway), but was a great one for Sam / Jamie. It's how the episode ends and I told a new friend I had met in the Tribeca line that the final moment of the episode reminded me of Batman's cape swooshing over the camera turning everything black. Lol take from that what you will!

Some other random thoughts:

Jamie x Claire are SO. SOFT. They say separation makes the heart grow fonder? Really, it makes those two grandparents softer AND I LOVE IT.

I LOVED seeing Caitriona + Sam's names appear as Executive Producers! The entire audience was singing along to The Skye Boat song and then burst out cheering when that came up.

I really hope Major MacDonald's wig gets snatched by Adso at some point because F him lol

Overall, I'd say I enjoyed the episode. Some might say it's a bit slow, which I wouldn't disagree with. But knowing that 1) they had to get this part over with the tie up the Season 6 cliffhanger; and 2) this is really going to be a jam packed season of action and emotion, I think I'm okay with that. I've heard it from more than one source that 7x02 is even better than 7x01 so I'm really excited! I'm also really excited to meet our newer cast members, as none of them featured in the premiere episode. The Hunters especially will be so much fun to watch!

Hearing Caitriona + Sam speak about not only this season, but their journey with Outlander overall makes me so grateful that the quality is still there after seven seasons. They're clearly still so passionate about these characters and are determined to do them justice in every way to the very end. And I think that most definitely shows up in their scenes. I'm super curious to see if there's anything noticeably different or better now that they've been promoted to Executive Producers. And of course, to see Caitriona's first foray into directing!! Until then, I'm looking forward to you all seeing the first episode for yourselves 💜

[helloimsoverybored]

A Pretty Long Rant on RPF shippers in the context of David Tennant and Michael Sheen

the entire georgia/anna discourse is so. bullshit. because those are actual, real people, with real lives and real relationships with those around them

Regarding dt and gt, just saying, no one has five children together as part of a pr stunt. Same with Michael and Anna.

And the fact that rpf people fail to realise this is concerning- taking the "my wife" jokes quite literally. News flash, it's a fucking joke. It's not something gt and al are making up to cover up for the fact that their respective partners fell in love with each other (yes, this is an actual take i've seen on this matter)

And idk if the rpf people are just dumb or are fully aware of what they're doing, despite the fact that they're completely tearing apart the lives of real people.

Another retort I've often seen is that fans have the right to criticize celebrities. Yes, yes they do. But breaking down a marriage spanning over a decade isn't criticism! You're creating fake problems out of thin air and for what? Genuinely, for what?

Rpf shippers just automatically assume the worst in both Georgia and Anna, and you know what? God forbid women do anything. Because that's exactly what this is.

They're completely vilifying gt and al because... they're in a relationship with their "blorbo actors?" They're acting like gt/dt and al/ms are fictional characters that you can play around with like dolls but you can't play around with real people's lives! Simply put, it isn't ethical.

I feel like the rpf people just fail to understand the meaning of “real”, because I don’t even know how one can feel so alright and happy by tearing apart the lives of real people. The fact that people are finding every possible way to find problems in their current relationships to suit their fantasies is so fucking disgusting.

Okay now if you're with me so far, I'm impressed. Stay with me because I'm not done yet.

Regarding Georgia, don't rpf blogs just love to criticize her and her parenting methods? That Georgia's just lazy and only wants to drink wine, but omfg. wtf. She has fucking 5 children. I don't care what you think, managing those many kids is NOT an easy task. But also... posts I've seen on this matter never seem to bring up David? Why? Isn't he a parent? Shouldn't he also have a role in parenting? Whatever Georgia does surely won't be against what David believes, right? Wake up, rpf shippers, wake the fuck up.

David almost definitely does have a role in the parenting (anyone willing to fight me on this, come off, I'll give you the reasons) but since he’s all over London at the moment, he probably doesn’t have much time. Which means that gt has to manage 4-5 kids all by herself. So she does actually deserve a break, more than anyone else. But she doesn’t because wahoo god forbid women do anything.

And putting all that aside, what the hell gives rpf people the right to hate on her as if they know her irl. Their default behavioral status is set to mean and bitchy and that’s just. concerning. rpf people need to understand the difference between real life and fiction istfg.

Okay, i swear I'm nearing the end of this rant, please don't go yet.

Sometimes fans do have the right to speak up against an UNHEALTHY relationship. There are multiple examples all over the place where one person has expressed dissatisfaction but no one took them seriously. Except… neither gt/dt nor ms/al have expressed dissatisfaction. At all. It’s actually the exact opposite where they keep fawning for each other. There’s 0 suggestions of any of them being unhappy in their respective relationships apparent from yall overanalyzing their body language to the point where it becomes false.

Do Georgia and Anna ship themselves with each other and ship David with Michael? Yes. But that's a fucking joke. Learn to take a joke, yalls, it will get you a long way. And even if they are the ones doing the shipping, so what? That doesn’t give you the right to. It’s their lives. You’re just a person viewing their lives from a small peep hole known as Instagram.

[crehador]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

ahh this is such a fun question, thanks so much for the ask! a difficult question as well lol, i am very indecisive so a top 10 anything is... tough

i'll limit myself to animanga only, aaand lump some characters in under the same banner so there's definitely going to be more than 10 here. i'm also prohibiting myself from giving more than one slot to hpmi characters or that would just be the whole list

anyway:

ICHISAMA (package deal, do not separate)

this is probably obvious (or should be obvious) from my pinned but in first place are of course my forever blorbos (and forever otp) ichiro and samatoki of hypnosis mic

it's hard to say what i like about them besides "literally everything" which is kind of funny because for like the first year-ish of me being into hpmi neither of them were my top favorites lol

and now i genuinely have to say i like them both equally, and like them both the most. out of any characters of anything ever. i typed a bunch of paragraphs after this but think i'll actually just stop here because nothing really does justice to how they make me feel (unwell, in a good way)

this post is already getting long so everything else will go under a cut! and besides ichisama in first, none of the other characters will be strictly ranked in order. mostly just listed as i think of them

2. bon my beloved, of showa genroku rakugo shinju

this is my favorite anime of all time, and what i would personally consider the best anime of all time, and bon is perhaps the single most beautiful character with the single most beautiful story i've consumed ever. i never feel any urge to make or consume fanworks of this series because it's just so mind-blowingly perfect and complete to me

i won't spoil too much about the series, but it's a tragedy, and that's something i don't read or watch much of. so it's truly exception for this to be my favorite, but it was just that good

bon is in so many ways a tragic character, and the series allows you to see him through his whole life. he's tragic in such a hauntingly beautiful way, though, and i left the series feeling like he now lives in my bones

this is probably also my favorite ishida akira role ever, which is saying a lot because he's always great. i love the anime because it gives such life to the rakugo performed in the series, and though i'm not an expert on rakugo, i felt like the performances were top-tier. and it always impresses me when voice actors take on roles that require them to perform a whole ass other art form (like rakugo or rap)

3. aomine (knb) AND grimmjow (bleach)

these are the same goddamn man i'm putting them together no one can stop me. they are a) blue b) panther-coded c) very aggro d) very aggro at a ginger mc specifically e) DEPRESSED and f) voiced by suwabe

(though honestly grimmjow's just here because they're too similar to separate, aomine's the real favorite here)

the thing with aomine is basically—

—and that paired with his tough guy/badass/fuckface manner is very appealing to me. i don't think it's even remotely possible for me to be brief in why he's so dear to me, but the short version is he's a deeply traumatized asshole and i'm into that

4. KIYOSE HAIJI RUN WITH THE WIND GUY OF ALL TIME (and various other sports guys who are single mothers)

i may have a lot of guys of all times but haiji is for real. before ichiro he was my favorite character of anything ever for a while, and he is definitely my favorite type of sports guy (so a lot of other sports guys are going to be lumped into this category with him lol)

he has an infectious passion for running and he will infect you. whether you let him or not. it's not negotiable. you will run. no matter what

i think he brings out the best in those around him, sometimes at a detrimental cost to himself. he pushes his team hard but pushes himself even harder. we stan a self-destructive king

and i'm putting natsusa number24 right in this rank with him

because while number24 is objectively Not a good anime, it's easily one of my favorite sports series and i sincerely love natsusa just as much as i love haiji. natsusa is like if someone made haiji but cranked the bitch factor up to one billion, he is the most gaslit gatekeep girlboss guy in all of sports anime and i love him for that

bonus shoutout to iura kei of shakunetsu kabaddi, usui yuuta of days, and sugawara koushi of haikyuu. gotta be my favorite flavor of sports guy

(ok this is not even fully true because i think my days favorite did ultimately end up being mizuki because he's just so fucking stupid BUT usui i still love you.........)

5. kaworu and all his ridiculously many expies (aka the "and then a weird guy appear" category)

basically i'm talking about these fucks

they show up, sometimes not even for very long, and all they do is cause problems (ok victor probably doesn't really belong here but he honestly does fit the mold and i'm too lazy to crop him out from this old graphic i made lol) and love another weird guy so catastrophically that it alters the course of the story

the way kaworu loves shinji the way komaeda loves hinata the way zashunina…… obsesses over shindo. like fine wine to me, chef's kiss. tbh that's why victor fits the mold for me, his and yuuri's love is less the "People Will Die" type of catastrophic but it's still life-changing, life-saving, for them both

ironically even though kaworu is a ryo expy himself i'm not. i'm not that big on ryo, i'll be honest. maybe it's because i wasn't the biggest of netflix devilman in general. i should probably read the manga sometime, might change my mind

6. SOFT BOYS natsume and rei

putting them together in part because lol look at them making the same pose on their anime covers even

these are both (natumse's book of friends and march comes in like a lion) two of my favorite series, and two of my favorite protagonists. they're soft but not weak, hurt but not broken. it just feels comfortable to spend time with them, to follow them even when they're hurting

7. CELTY MY BELOVED, of durarara

honestly celty is just cool as fuck. there are lots and lots of reasons to love her but i get so incoherent about it. it's really strange because i feel like the way narita writes women is not great in many ways, and yet... he always fucking... writes the hottest fucking women goddamn, i can't be mad about that

i always liked shinra too. because of how relatable he was lmao. i would be a weird little man about celty too i'm sorry

8. sir integra fairbrook wingates hellsing, of hellsing

god. yet another. she's just so fucking cool. massively obsessed with her. it's been too long since i've watched hellsing (and durarara for that matter) for me to remember a ton of details but her whole personality is just so appealing to me

you know the way people like fma olivier armstrong. sir integra's my armstrong

9. hei, of darker than black

once again he's just cool as fuck, also i'm chinese and it's rare to see a really good chinese character in anime, much less as a main character. darker than black is an older series at this point, but it remains one of my old favorites. second season was a bit questionable but honestly i didn't hate it. my boy got fuucked uuupppppp (said with delight)

funny story about hei is when i first started watching the show there was this moment where i thought "this is a weird detail to notice but something about his collarbones look really nice to me? they're just two lines but idk they're lovely"

THEN LATER IN THE SERIES on at least two other occasions that i can remember, maybe more, actual characters in canon commented on THIS SPECIFIC THING. HIS COLLARBONES. so what do i like about hei? what does anyone like about hei? apparently it's his collarbones lmao

10. nooooo i'm running out of space now and there are so many more blorbso i would talk about i can't choose who to put here but but but closing my eyes and picking the first name that comes to mind MIKOTO SUOH K PROJECT

part of me thinks i shouldn't actually put him here because he's, like, red samatoki lmao but no he deserves a spot. i think. idk. that's what i'm going with for now but, you know, indecisive

anyway. love a tragic mfer with one dead boyfriend who haunts the narrative and another ex who [redacted idk if anyone is going to be reading this far but just in case no one wants k spoilers i want say anything but you know this show is old as balls by now]

i actually love both of the factions in k (there are more factions later but i'm focusing on red and blue) because they're both families in different ways, and mikoto and munakata both care about their families in different ways (yes i love that bitch munakata too)

and the way they care for their people while failing to fully let their people care for them in return is sooooo delicious as a character trait to me

so that's the end of this enormous post i guess! there are approximately a billion other characters i love that i didn't get to mention but i will do my best to shut up now lmao

thank you again for the ask, very fun exercise to think about!

[oneatlatime]

The Warriors of Kyoshi

Two in one day, look at me go! Do not expect this rate going forward.

Before we start. I'd like to give thanks to the writers for putting the place name in the episode title. As someone who has been attempting to spell things phonetically, but has no familiarity with non-english names and has therefore screwed up many many times, I am grateful.

I really didn't notice Zuko's voice in the last episode but he's back to sounding like a muppet in this one.

My man that meditation is not working. Nor is the hair. After that burst of flame how do you have hair left?

Somehow I missed last episode that they had named the lemur. Welcome to the gang, Momo!

So this is going to be the 'Sokka faces his sexism' episode. I'm going to get really nitpicky here. Sokka says "You need to give girls space when they do their sewing" and Katara responds "What does me being a girl have to do with sewing?" Well, nothing actually! It's Katara who makes the leap and ties the two ideas together. Sokka then 100% puts his foot in his mouth (and follows through with getting his pants in his face) and I love the way Katara responds to it! Sew your own pants Sokka! But I gotta say, if Sokka had only kept his mouth shut he would have been in the clear.

"Where we're going you won't need any pants" is not a relaxing statement Aang.

Appa rocking the Justin Bieber look.

Guess Katara threw those pants harder than I thought she did. He's only got one tooth left.

'Lookit me! Lookit me! Mom are you looking? Mom did you see me? Mom are you watching? Mom did you see? Mom watch this! Mom look at me!' -Aang, while harassing the local wildlife.

Growing up in the South Pole, jumping into any body of water is absolutely insane, so yeah this tracks.

I love how Momo is the most enthusiastic watcher.

What do koi eat? There must be a lot of it here.

The fish is doing all the work!

Nessie on roids.

They caught Momo! I love how this implies that Momo carries the same status as a threat that the humans do. They don't blindfold him though. Do you think they had a bag big enough for Appa?

Yikes this is turning into an after school special. Rule of thumb: if you have to flanderize your character in order to make them objectionable enough to be a candidate for the lesson of the week, maybe that's not the right character to use to teach the lesson?

Is this Water tribe or Earth kingdom territory? The warriors are in green, but everyone else is in water tribe blue. Assuming the colour coding we've seen with fire and water extends to earth, maybe the warriors are assigned there?

Kyoshi is a place and a person. Now picturing Aangland. Also I guess the warriors are from here after all.

Aang is really good at finding ideally placed sharp edges on which to cut his ropes.

I like the game of telephone sequence and how the colours gradually change from blue to red.

Needs to eat but too tired to get up. We've all been there buddy.

Katara absolutely going for the jugular in the breakfast scene. Speaking of, Sokka's line reads in that whole scene are just beautiful. Offended and cranky, but still showing genuine appreciation for breakfast.

First time Katara's made me laugh out loud. She's spot on.

This painter's line reads are great too!

Your dance lesson? Sokka you're letting me down. You're making me want to watch the warriors beat you up. You're the best warrior in your village? You're the only warrior in your village. You won by default. (Although it must be said that he does refer to his potty break pals as warriors, so maybe he thinks of himself as the best of many).

Sokka how is your shirt staying closed? And you totally brought that on yourself.

Passed out Momo.

Oh lord AANGY?

Do you think one of those warriors could be convinced to do the Sokka treatment on Aang too? His head's getting a little big. Parallels!

Warrior lady Sookie has some very poor line readings. She's not helped by the fact that she's contrasted with Sokka, whose voice actor is probably the best in the show.

Aangy seen here being very unmonkly. The back and forth here is great.

"I got you!" Yeah Sookie he did. "You're not going to get it in one day, even I'm not that good." Maybe you aren't but Sokka is.

Nessie on roids has enough thinking skills to use his own self as a table. Well done Nessie. Don't hurt yourself.

Did the airbender forget he could airbend? He's being flung around through the AIR by Nessie. Just bend!

It's a good thing Katara is a waterbender, otherwise going into the water while wearing head to toe furs would have absolutely drowned her.

How does Katara know Zuko's name? Or recognise his ship?

How does Katara bend water out of Aangy's lungs? Doesn't she have no training at all? I feel like that could have gone horribly.

Momo includes himself in the 'girls come quickly' statement.

This has Mexican stand off vibes, as does the music. Also why are people hiding from firebenders in wooden houses?

This is why I don't like after school special plots. Sokka's been learning their technique for a couple of days and he's already better at it than Sookie. Which retroactively justifies all his patronising sexism from earlier in the episode.

Fire breakdancing is shockingly efficient. He took out three opponents while flat on the ground. Also Zuko is getting some serious air on his jumps.

That's twice now that Zuko has reacted to Aang's presence by saying "Finally."

Did Zuko happen to be carrying a bag of coal dust? Either way he's dead.

Shmymbolism!

Katara gives the single most stupid advice possible 'get inside this flammable building children!' and follows it with straight up lying to Aang's face. I'm glad he called her on it. And I'm glad she was so quick to change back to what she's been trying to tell him the whole episode (we need to LEAVE). You were right all along Katara, don't bend the truth now to make him feel better.

BIG SIGH. I don't know if this is bad writing, bad line reading, or both. It's just so corny.

So now he remembers he's an airbender. Also I hope he had some sort of air shield when he hit the water.

Roid Nessie's water breathing dragon traits coming in handy. And I thought that was just worldbuilding. That's two episodes in a row where what looked like worldbuilding was also plot. Sneaky!

Ha! They're going to rust.

Appa caught him! With his paws!

If I was the leader of Kyoshi, I gotta say I wouldn't be thanking the avatar. Thank you for luring the fire nation to our previously neutral territory and then having the decency to fix the immediate problem that caused, though long term we're still screwed. Assuming that Zuko's actions represent fire nation actions, Kyoshi's neutrality is gone and the houses no longer have roofs. Do you think the fire nation does reprisals?

So pretty.

And I've been spelling Suki incorrectly. I guess the gimme with the episode title was too good to be true. Gotta check my hubris. I need a Sokka treatment myself.

Final Thoughts

This episode ANNOYS me. First, the good:

I'm glad that the show touched on the status of avatar going to Aang's head. The first couple of episodes firmly characterised Aang as not wanting to be the avatar, but you'd have to be superhuman not to let it go to your head just a little. And Aang wouldn't be anywhere near as fun to watch if he was superhuman.

I also like that Aang explicitly verbally acknowledges that Katara was right, and that he can put into words the ways he was wrong and the lesson he learned. The lesson has a better chance of sticking if he can actually articulate it.

I like how this show is consistently sticking to actions having both good and bad consequences that can't be bended/handwaved/magic-ed away. In episode two, the flare went off and now the village at the south pole has a giant gash in it and Sokka and Katara had to leave home. In this episode, Aang stayed too long and now the village has burned down. There's no magic fix. This makes the world of the show feel real, and feel like something that's worth caring about. Actual stakes mean actual investment by the viewer is not wasted.

Katara got a turn with the brain! She was right about Sokka being a sexist jerk, right about Aang getting a big head, right about Zuko following them if they leave. I like Katara being right.

The bad:

I am not liking the direction that Aang and Katara's relationship is going. It's fine for Aang to have a little crush, and it's fine for Katara to baby him (he is younger, and judging by the ages of all the children in her village apart from her brother, Katara's been a mini-mom for a while). But it's jarring when those opposing perceptions are so blatantly juxtaposed. I think this is one of the places where the fact that I'm an adult and this show is for kids is making itself known. If I had watched this at 8 or 9 years old, I probably wouldn't have even picked up on the opposing dynamics. I can't quite articulate why it doesn't sit well with me. It just doesn't.

And now, the Sokka arc. BIG SIGH. Sokka needed to grow past his sexist tendencies. No argument there. But his sexism boils down to believing in the gendering of tasks and that said gendering has a basis in fact. That there are man things and woman things. That men ARE better at man things and women ARE better at women things, with the corresponding (though unacknowledged) belief that women are worse at man things and men are worse at woman things. Sokka was supposed to have these beliefs challenged and ultimately overturned in this episode by meeting, and being beaten up by, Suki and her warriors, women who excel at (what Sokka thinks of as) man things. Suki and her warriors do challenge the first part of Sokka's original beliefs, that being a warrior is a man thing. But after a 45 second training montage he gets the best of her.

Being a warrior seems to be Suki's full time job. We never see her out of her armour; this is her role in the village, a role she has presumably trained for for many years. And Sokka gets the best of her in the training room, and fends off Zuko after she fails to do so herself. If Sokka surpasses Suki so quickly at what she has devoted her life to, I guess being a warrior is naturally easier for men. And sure, women CAN be warriors, Sokka outright says it (although Suki kind of has to correct him as he only get halfway there), but putting aside the dialogue and looking at the action, Sokka's just better.

For that matter, given that Sokka was quite literally the only man over four years old in his village, he must have been used to seeing women fulfilling a male role. Unless his demonstrated subpar fishing skills could feed the whole village, the women were going hunting. Which is why I said he was flanderized earlier. He might want to believe in the gendering of tasks because it makes him feel manlier or more connected to his interpretation of his culture, or heck maybe it give him a sense of purpose or makes him miss his dad less, just spitballing here. But there's no way he hasn't spent every day since the men left for war seeing that belief be contradicted. And sure, he could have some cognitive dissonance going on, especially since he seems to have staked his whole identity on his manliness, but would that cognitive dissonance be enough to insult a pack of warriors to their face while tied up, then insult them even worse while they're actively practising with their weapons? I guess teenage boys have done stupider.

I'm probably reading too much into this.

The meh:

Zuko in this episode is literally just filling the villain of the week slot, and serious step down in narrative focus after the last episode, where he got a whole arc.

So I have problems with this episode. I like the avatar stuff temporarily going to Aang's head, but I don't think it redeems the rest of the episode. It won't be going on my rewatch list.

Last, totally vain complaint: this episode was nowhere near as pretty as the Southern Air Temple. That one had beautiful contrasts with blue/purple air and red/orange fire. This one is just beige.

[crazykuroneko]

Tbh I think a lot casual viewers / non book fans are probably going to not continue the show after s2 unless it diverges quite drastically on louis's storyline? iwtv is very bleak and I genuinely think they underestimated how much show viewers ended up hating lestat after s1 (and they may end up in a similar situation with armand in s2) and then you're asking the audience to watch an entire season of this guy's whole backstory. plus you're killing off one of the two likable characters by the end of s2 and shifting louis into more a side character.

a big red flag to me was the lady who hosts the podcast who doesn't have a book background saying a lot of the same stuff as show-only people. like she clearly does not like lestat or loustat at all lmao and its literally her job to promote the show.

First, I want to address the "shifting louis into more a side character" because no I don't agree with that. Contrary to fans believe, Hollywood-standard wise (from the number of episodes they are in, how integral their characters are to the story), both Jacob and Sam have been considered as lead actors/cast of IWTV. You can see industry news outlets calling them both as such. But because IWTV is about Louis' past specifically and AMC knew IWTV still has some hope in Emmys even though it's small, they put them in different categories to not split the votes between them (they even only submit one actor in each category for it). So, look at what we have now, Louis is the narrator yet we still get Lestat in all episodes, and he's leading the NOLA narrative forward together with Louis despite not existing in the Dubai narrative. I bet we'll still get Lestat in most, if not all episodes, in S2, because Rolin has said many many times, the show is about both of them. And I expect they'll do the same in TVL season(s); Lestat is telling the story while Louis is leading whatever will be going on in the modern time. (No, i don't believe they'll make Louis stuck on a couch the whole season to listen to Lestat's story even though it sounds tasty. He'd definitely have a way to know what Lestat's saying, but I don't see anything good writing-wise from sticking your well-developed character in one place for such a long time)

About whether the audience will be willing to listen to Lestat's past, I'll see how S2 goes first before judging that. A lot of people don't like him, but there are a lot of them who are like, "I will miss him if he dies, he's an interesting character".

And IWTV is a niche show, its genre is gothic horror/romance. Who the hell is doing gothic romance for a series in this decade? (Hannibal doesn't count, it's not gothic and still about will/won't they). Like, what AMC is doing with IWTV now is extremely daring. And with a niche show, it's always the same: you can't please everyone. There will always be part of the general audience who will leave because either it's simply not their cup of tea or they can't stomach it. Especially now when there's this purity sentiment going so strongly in general (apparently now we shouldn't ship fictional characters, every sex scene has to have a grand purpose, and you shouldn't watch any portrayal of abuse even though it's produced by the victim herself). God forbid IWTV would ever want to please those people yikes. So, IWTV won't ever get as "mainstream" as what, Succession, Ted Lasso, Better Call Saul. But IWTV would still appeal to people who appreciate good writing, people who are "idc how bad the characters are as long as they're exciting!", and people who really love horror (not that "comfort horror" BS) - there's this review of IWTV from an horror website who is like "I wish they gave us more gore and horror of vampires", oh these people would love S2.

So, tl;dr you could say it's a natural selection (hell yes Darwinism), it's inevitable. I'd rather have that audience leave than stay and ruin fans' experience by whining about the plot that won't ever satisfy them. And I'd always applaud writers who don't give a shit to what people say and stick to what they're meant to do. They slay!

EDIT: ah I forgot about this. but don't underestimate the number of old fans who will probably check the show again when the TVL season(s) come. Because no matter how big their hatred for AMC is, it will be the first time ever for TVL to be adapted on screen. First time in 38 years (yes no one considers QotD movie ever existed). That's too big a temptation!

[doctorstrangeaskblog]

(More) Stephen Strange Headcanons

Because you guys asked

Absolute music addict

Will hold his phone while listening to music on his bed, eyes closed, imagining movie scenes, his own dreams, for hours at night.

Many times will go to one specific music he wants to listen to and keep repeating the same dramatic bit over and over

Listens to tons of movies, series and animes OSTs

When he's alone at night, listening to songs, he will often sing along, but without any sound, he will just move his lips

Often imagines/dreams he can play more instruments and more skillfully and that he's famous and loved for playing

Likes to hug pillows a lot, he had a special pillow to hug UNTIL he met the Cloak

The Cloak needs to rest too, and when both the Cloak and Stephen need to rest, they cuddle

Stephen and the Cloak have a very deep, intimate, unique, special bond- the Cloak suffered with Stephen against Dormammu and Thanos- Stephen wants to protect that bond so strongly-that's why he doesn't like when the Cloak shows affection in public, but the Cloak keeps doing that because when in private, Stephen clings a lot to its affection

Since his father was so strict when he was a kid/teenager, once Strange went to live on his own, he started to try all sorts of things- movies, songs, clothes, food, visiting places, dating- eventually he settled down, but that made Strange be VERY OPEN MINDED about all sorts of things.

He sort of sees his sister in young people who are lost or need help, so his first instinct is to protect

He has a very very very lower self esteem most people imagine he has

Stephen has a very deep strong bond with Wong. Both went through so much together, rebuilding the Sanctum and keeping the stability of the Masters of the Mystic Arts after Kaecilius attacked and after Endgame. Now after DS2 (Wanda's attack).

All the pain and suffering Stephen went through only made him want to refrain others from going through the same.

He can be mean and will be mean if provoked, but he won't cause severe injury, what he did to Pizza Poppa is the limit

Will act mean to show off or to pretend he's a menace he's not supposed to be messed with

Strange is very very analytical and logical, however, he often makes mistakes because he is naive - because he always expects the best from people and gets distracted very easily (most of the times he lost a battle or got betrayed both in DS2 and No Way Home)

Due to his abusive father, Stephen has come to avoid anything associated with "father figures"- he doesn't want to be a father, is afraid that if he were a father he could be a bad father and his kids would despise him the way he disliked his own father, so even though he takes younger heroes under his wings (Peter, America), he will do what he can to not be associated with a father- however, he deeply cares and ends up sort of fathering- despite trying to keep his distance, despite trying to pretend he doesn't care.

He hates people who control things too much, however, ironically, he became like that, he is aware of that and trying to change, actively, and he has a very good insight of it- he's trying to be less rude, to yell less, to be more polite.

He's a good actor.

He's always looking at Wong to see his reaction

He admires Wong and knows Wong is waaaay ahead of him in wisdom, composure, knowledge, responsibility, etc.

Strange sometimes acts like a brat/dork/sassy irresponsible shit to call Wong's attention.

He often does risky things to prove Wong and himself that he is capable of great things- also to feed his low self esteem

Strange used so much alcohol as a cheap pain killer he doesn't get drunk anymore- he would need so SO SO MUCH alcohol to start getting drunk (he drinks a lot at Christine's wedding and he's still 100% sober)

I feel like his stomach is sensible- probably vomited a lot during med school (hidden, it's one of his secrets)

Has photographic memory, also, his imagination can be VERY PRECISE, he uses it to create stories, movies and clips inside his head- when he was homeless in Kamar Taj he kept doing that all the time when he had to sleep or take shelter from the rain

He got to meet and build strong bonds with many Avengers during the time he was living the possible outcomes, however, only Stephen remembers

Strange LOVES animals, he was raised in a farm, he loved the horses and other animals- he has only seen kindness in them, hurt an animal in front of Strange and he will be VERY VERY ANGRY

He started to have white hair when he was 24, so he dyed his hair for some years, slowly stopping to dye as he got older, naturally not caring so much anymore, taking longer to dye-

One of the reasons he doesn't want to be considered old is because in his head, he's getting more similar to his father.

The extent of abuses he suffered - unknown- physical for sure (I remember seeing comic panels of him being slapped- like Tony was, my memory could be failing me but it probably happened because Stephen has SO FREAKING MANY RED FLAGS of physical abuse- when you study anything related to the health field, specially medicine psychology, those red flags become easier to be seen and Benedict acts them VERY DAMN WELL.) Mora/psychological abuse for sure. I've talked to other fans who study the character a lot and they also had come to the same conclusion that Strange probably shielded his sister Donna and his brother Victor from his father's abuses.

Cries a lot. He cries. Tears might not roll down sometimes, he can drain them back inside, swallow his tears, not shed them despite his eyes being A POOL OF TEARS so so many times- he learned to do that because his father wouldn't allow the "older boy of the house" cry.

He helped to raise his sister Donna and his brother Victor, he knows how to look after kids, he knows how to cook the essential, he knows how to clean and dress and teach. He's a great teacher, despite his own way of teaching.

Will melt at sweet physical touch- caressing his hair/cheeks/face gently WAY BETTER caressing body parts/arms/legs seem to make him uncomfortable/triggered (red flag?)

Will follow your hands with his eyes if you intend to touch him

DO NOT TOUCH HIS HAIR if you're not intimate, he probably got his hair violently pulled a lot by his father

SQUINTS a lot

Eyes very sensible to wind and sunlight

Trips if he uses glasses

Him giving his hand to hold is an ultimate act of trust

Likes to hide his hands in warm places, will hide them under you if you're intimate

Always walks with hands in pockets or behind the Cloak

Accepted his scars but doesn't like when people stare

Loves customizing/fashion/style is pretty boy, so much self care

Want more? Just tell me/like/comment. :D

[charthanry]

I know you've talked about your favourite Pat and Pran scenes but do you have an absolute favourite bad buddy scene overall? Everyone goes on about the rooftops in 5 and 10 or Pat's fight with his father in 10 but I will never get over the scene in Pran's room at the end of episode 4. It was the only time i properly cried throughout the show's whole run. Watching Pran's chin wobble and his eyes well up as Pat listed all his own loveable qualities thinking he liked someone else whilst the sad music played in the background really broke my heart. The performance felt so raw and authentic and made me really start to pay attention to Nanon as an actor (i'd never seen him in anything before this and just found out how many awards he's been nominated for?). It was just overall such a turning point for me in the series.

Oh anon, this is the loveliest. Thank you for sharing your favorite scene with me. The EP4 ending is definitely a standout for me as well. The direction, the mood lighting, the music, and especially the acting... it all came together magnificently. I anticipate writing an entire dissertation on this for my EP4 recap, so I won't say too much here, except that I return to this scene A LOT. The moment I consistently hit pause on is Pran’s soft smile as he watches Pat sleep. Even as his heart is breaking, he can’t help but look fondly at Pat. It gets me every time. It is so achingly relatable and oh so... human. Everything about this speaks to me. I've probably rewatched this scene more than the rooftop kiss and the beach kiss combined if that tells you anything. I’m weak for the quieter moments of the show, especially those that involve Pran giving into his longing. 

Having said that though, while this is up there for me, gun to head if I had to choose JUST ONE SCENE that is my favorite? Ohhhh, you’re really going to make me choose? Wow, OKAY. I'm going to cheat and narrow it down to two. But I’ll force myself to make it 1a and 1b, fair?

The runner-up for my favorite scene is the I ran after you with your guitar from EP10. I’ve talked about this in my favorite Pran moments, but that smile of surprise and utter contentment gets me on every rewatch. Also, the little gulp he takes because he’s choked up from Pat’s confession is just EVERYTHING to me. It’s small and nuanced but also so incredibly telling of how overwhelmed Pat makes him feel. He quite literally has to catch his breath. I love it and them sooo much. And then add to this, Pran plays the first bars of his eventual song for Pat in the same place where he wrote and sang his first song, also for Pat. It's just such a full and complete moment.

Hiding for so long and now to express their feelings openly at the same place where they weren't even allowed to be seen together years before, they’ve come full circle. The natural light that surrounds them, the gentle breeze that ruffles their hair – an unintentional parallel for their sweeping emotions. The entire atmosphere of them being back at their high school and on that very stage. The embracing warmth of nostalgia and feeling like they’re the only two people on earth. BUT more than all that, it’s their unspoken conversation as they gaze at each other:

I couldn’t tell you then so let me say it now, I’ve loved you before I knew that I had fallen. I've loved you before I knew it myself. Thank you for patiently waiting for me to catch up. I’m sorry you had to wait alone for so long, but I’m here now. And I promise you’ll never be alone again.

And the response:

I’ve always loved you. I don't even remember a time when I didn't, if anything, my loving you has given myself back to me. Being with you feels like freedom. Thank you for that and for being entirely worth waiting for. 

So, now you're thinking wow, what scene is going to top that?! Well, some of you may be surprised with my choice, but in a series that’s overflowing with memorable moments, my favorite scene overall has to be the EP12 ending. Like a siren, Pran lures Pat with song and he climbs into Pran’s window as he always has. The familiar yet lit anew with hopeful expectations for the future. The adoring looks they share, the words both said and unsaid that expresses their lifelong commitment to each other. Pat looking at Pran as though he holds Pat’s entire world in his heart and hands; he then caresses him as if he couldn't bear not to. Pran returning the mutual adoration with a look that says:

If anyone were to ask me what does love look like? I’d respond that it’s like everything I’ve ever lost come back to me. The watch, the guitar, my music, my freedom and most importantly you. All returned to me. I am overflowing in all aspects of life because I have you by my side.

They’re just so ESTABLISHED here. It's P’Aof's parting gift to us, allowing us to see this private, intimate moment between them. It’s to assure us that Pat and Pran are going to make it. They’ve weathered the storm and are still going strong. They’ll continue to face everything together. Come what may. And it is so incredibly satisfying to see. And then to understand that their journey isn’t ending, it’s only just beginning. Even if our time with them has come to an end (sobs), we find comfort in knowing that there is a world out there where Pat and Pran continue to annoy each other, fight alongside each other with pinkies attached and hearts aligned.

And THEN to bookend all of this with the tin can telephone and their younger selves? It’s magic happening on screen. It’s the show telling us that we should have never doubted our boys, it’s always been like this for them and will continue to be. Parents, friends, long distance? None of this has anything on their love. They put each other first and everything else second. They bet on themselves and won.

Yeah, they’re my favorites.

[fratboykate]

Have you ever tried to get CFAU out there? We need that as a show ASAP.

Lol...no. And the possibility of it (or anything like it happening in general) becomes grimmer every day. Listen, I'm probably about to POP OFF, but if you want to know how the internet is ruining rep in the industry, then give it a read. If not, godspeed. But you guys should know what you're doing every time you fuckos yet outraged about even the smallest bullshit.

The vast majority of straight actors are now passing on every queer role they get offered because they're terrified of being “canceled”. Apply the same thing to non-Jewish actors playing Jewish roles. Or this and that and that other identity. Y'all have turned this into a climate where people are not allowed to act anymore. The point of acting is inhabiting someone else's body and story, but y’all seemingly want things to go down to specific nationalities. "How dare this non-French person play a French character?!" That's where we're headed at this point.

You guys fail to fucking understand that, whether you like it or not, films and shows don't get made until they have recognizable talent attached. Even then, there are SO MANYYYYY projects with prime fucking packages that aren't selling right now. Series and movies with ensembles of A+ listers as stars and famous showrunners and directors that legit won't find a buyer. That's the market we're currently in.

How many famous, openly queer women do you know? I'm talking face and name recognition that would get a film or show easily made??? Little to none, right? There are VERY FEW (openly) queer actresses in the industry in general and even less so in that A/B Lister level that can actually get things funded and greenlit. What you guys have done is created a hostile fucking environment where actors don't want to take queer roles anymore and what happens if you can't find bankable talent to star in your movie or show??? IT DOESN'T GET FUCKING MADE. The project dies and never sees the light of day. So, as a result of your fake outrage machine, you will create LESS rep on screen instead or more.

I, for example, write projects that are intrinsically queer and from which you can't extricate the inherent queerness. That shit isn’t going anywhere because it’s in the DNA of the script. What do you think is going to happen/is happening when a show or a movie can't find an actor to play a queer character if the script doesn't entirely revolve around their queerness? The character will be rewritten and turned straight or cut out altogether. What do you think will happen when you're clamoring for XYZ ship to become canon on a show and one or both actors say "I'm not comfortable playing a queer character because I don't want to get canceled."??? It's not gonna happen. YOU guys are fucking representation over, not helping it.

It's a veryyyyyy real problem. I'm seeing producer friends trying to put films together right now going through it. No one they've sent scripts with queer characters this year to will touch them. And it's not homophobia. It's literally actors telling them directly "I won't play queer characters anymore because I'm afraid of the backlash." That's the culture you've created, one which will only affect us in the long run.

Hell, I know it first hand. We're trying to package one of my scripts right now and we've already had two prominent actresses pass. One was literally THIS WEEK. I met with her and she outright said to me - TO MY FACE - that she was scared of the internet's response. She said she didn't think "She could sit in press interviews and justify taking this role when it's not her story." She and I talked for an hour and about 20-25 minutes of that was she expressing how uncomfortable she was BECAUSE of the internet. I did my best to assuage her fears during the meeting and she still passed days later. Both she and her agent love the script, which is why she even took the meeting in the first place. But, at the end of the day, when she was weighing risks, she didn't think it was worth enraging the online mob and possibly getting vilely attacked over it.

Let me bring up a tangible example of how your outrage kills projects. Do you remember the biopic where Scarlett J. was supposed to play the lead as a trans man from the 1800s-1900s? Y'all grabbed your pitchforks and got her to back out of the project. Where is the movie now??? The film didn't get made, did it? Because without a name like Scarlett fronting it, that movie was never going to get made. Ignore Scarlett's past. Ignore her altogether for a second and pretend this was any other A-List actress. Let me ask you: would you rather have the actress play the role with genuine respect for the project/character and have a movie that could've put the life of an iconic trans man out there for people who needed to see it...or would you rather have it die and get fucking nothing? In one scenario, you potentially get a film with a major star that would've been watched by a large swath of the general population, could've touched on important queer issues, and probably have a slew of other queer performers in the film as supporting actors. It might have been imperfect rep by the internet's standards, but it would've still been exposure for potentially more than one group in the community. On the other side, you have the reality of what happened now: no big name, no movie, no story being told, no rep AT ALL. Think about what you prefer with your big girl and boy brains.

Truthfully, I don't know that Hailee would've signed up to do Dickinson in today's climate. Dickinson helped Ella figure out she was queer, but she was also a straight woman coming into it. Imagine what a loss that would've been. If they were casting Lexa in 2022 and told Alycia upfront that Lexa would be limp wristed, I doubt she would've taken it. Think about all the iconic queer ships of the last...ten years and ponder how many of them involve actual queer women. Now think about how most of them wouldn't happen with those actors that brought the stories to life because they're terrified of the vitriolic faux outrage mob. Would you rather a straight woman play a queer character, or would you rather have no queer character at all?

You can scream till you’re blue in the face about "WELL, THE INDUSTRY SHOULD CHANGE AND THEY SHOULD CAST UNKNOWNS TO PLAY THESE CHARACTERS". Sure sure, that's all fine and dandy in your fantasy land, but that’s not the real world. When you ask an investor/company/studio to put millions of dollars on the line, they want guarantees that they're getting their money back. You can only even remotely attempt that by putting faces people recognize on the screen. This isn’t a game and it isn't charity. They're not doing this shit out of the kindness of their hearts. These are real investments of cold hard cash that people are making and in their minds, the easiest way to ensure those investments is by having talent audiences are going to watch. Especially when their competition is your favorite thing in the world: Disney/Marvel and franchises. Fewer and fewer movies get made every year. Why? Because investors and studios would prefer to pour money into a "guaranteed" thing like a pile of hot garbage, 300 million dollar budget, superhero movie with a bankable name, over making ten 30 million dollar movies that they don't know if they're going to lose money on. Some actors still do things outside tentpoles, but who is left to play the queer roles if they're running from our stories BECAUSE OF YOU? Who is going to be the thing that attracts investors? No one. Then we get jack shit. And that, that is a problem of your own doing.

So when someone writes a really fucking fantastic project with...idk...a queer Jewish lead (or just something in the vein of CFAU) that you would've loved to watch/would've been wonderful for the community and no actor will touch it because you've made any type of diverging from one's specific identity a crime then you have no one to blame but yourself. You'll never know the project existed because you killed it and it didn't get made, but trust meeeeeeeeeee...y'all are killing outstanding projects every day with this shit.

LET.PEOPLE.ACT. That's the whole goddamn fucking point. As an actor, you're supposed to act like something other than yourself. You're supposed to embody and explore different experiences. If you can only play EXACTLY what you are, then what the fuck is the point. What are we even doing?

Cut all this shit out.

[needleanddead]

hi!! can i have 🤥, 😭, 🍰, 🌺, 🍁, 🙉, 🎀, 🎁, ☁️, and💓 for lucas and teddy pretty please <33

hi!! 🤥, 😭, 🍰, 🌺, 🍁, 🙉, 🎁, 🎀, and 📦 for lucas and teddy please <33 (if this is too lengthy, just choose the ones you want to do!!)

fngbjknfg anon assuming you are the same person so i am putting them together for the few differences between them! below the cut for lengthy post~

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Lucas is not a good liar because he doesn't like doing it; he's a little awkward and stilted and gruff. Of course, he's like that most of the time too, so many people still don't catch on to it!

Teddy is a good liar; he's an actor, after all. He doesn't like lying either, but if the situation calls for it, you probably won't notice he's doing it.

😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?

Lucas doesn't cry easily. He's very solid, very good at keeping his emotions off his face - even when he's extremely upset, he doesn't really turn to tears. The last time he cried it was because one of his chickens died.

Teddy does cry easily; he's the kind of guy who sees a really cute dog and is just in floods of tears because what a good boy. He's more likely to happy cry than to sad cry!

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

Lucas has a sweet tooth and will eat most things, but prefers plain old vanilla; he's kind of traditional in his tastes! Too many fancy additions will have him mistrustful of the recipe.

Teddy's favourite cake flavours are strawberry and funfetti! He likes things that are tooth-rottingly sweet. He's not that picky, though; he's a one man black hole who can and will eat anything that's put in front of him!

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

Neither Teddy nor Lucas are allergic to anything! Hardy men.

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

Lucas likes Spring. He likes seeing all of the leaves and flowers change and spring up; he likes seeing baby animals about the place, likes the opportunity in the air.

Teddy also likes Spring, because he likes the pastel colours and he also loves baby animals and flowers - but honestly, every season has its charms for him! Winter has the holidays, Summer gives him a chance to ogle men wearing very little, Autumn has cosy sweaters and has Halloween--

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

For Lucas, hearing from his captive/beloved that they hate him and will never love him.

For Teddy, hearing from someone he's fond of and considers a friend that they do not really like him, that they're merely putting up with him because they can't figure out how to get rid of him.

🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

Lucas would honestly rather spend time with people he loves than receive gifts; he's not a particularly material-minded man. He's not good at giving gifts unless someone has said specifically what they want - if they've done that, his memory is good, and he'll remember. But if it's 'giving gifts off of his own back and choosing them with no help', he's not good at it.

Teddy is happy to receive any gifts, but he has a sentimental nature and loves stuffed animals and pink things and things that really 'match' him best of all - that is, if the gifts aren't practical, which he also deeply appreciates as he's so awful with money and can't always afford to replace the things he needs to! He's good at gift-giving, though his limited budget is often a problem. Many, many people receive stuffed animals as gifts from Teddy - but they are at least very well thought out ones!

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

Both of them are actually from other universes/ projects of mine, gently pushed into the 'murdersim' category! Lucas is from a post apocalyptic zombie universe in which he's the untrustworthy leader of a ragtag band of survivors (and very angry about it too), and Teddy is from an urban fantasy universe in which he's a fairly well-known paranormal vlogger who is really, really trying to get picked up by some kind of unnatural creature (and film it).

📦 PACKAGE - what are some "most likely to..." that can apply to them?

Lucas's high school definitely did this kind of thing; his yearbook, were it still to exist, probably has a picture of him and his childhood sweetheart under the 'cutest couple' category, and definitely they're 'most likely to get married first', 'have children first', etc!

Teddy's most likely to's are probably pretty obvious. Most likely to get murdered trying to get laid. Most likely to die in a very dumb way.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

Lucas, when he gets too stressed and lonely, talks to his chickens about his day and occasionally responds to them as if they've spoken back to him.

Teddy can't sleep unless he's cuddling something. Usually, that's his partner; but when he's alone, it's some kind of stuffed animal.

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Lucas is incredibly easy to do this to, if he likes you; let your hand brush against his, smile at him, choose actively to sit as close to him as possible. Just . . . showing that you like him is enough to make his heart start beating a tango in his chest.

Teddy sees someone hold a knife and gets all blushy and flustered. He watches someone beat someone up and doesn't know what to do. Somebody alludes to being able to throw a punch hard enough to knock him out and he's jelly. He's very simple!

[peculiarscriptures51]

~The one where they drifted apart Pt. 2 (KSJ)~

"We can't keep doing this, Jin." Ingrid panted, rolling off of him. She flops back on her mattress beside of him, the both of them stark naked and out of breath. Jin wipes his brow of sweat, shutting his eyes.

"I know..." He mumbled. But God, he couldn't help himself. You don't see your soulmate for years...! You've convinced yourself time and time again that it's over and that you have to move on, and it would always hurt to do so. It never felt right to move on because what if things led back to this? What if there was the very slim chance that they meet again?

"Yumi must be worried sick about you..." Ingrid mutters. She covers her face with her hands. "God, this is awful. I'm sleeping with an engaged man."

"We won't be engaged for long." Jin admitted, gulping down heaps of air. He stares up at Ingrid's ceiling, she went quiet.

He hasn't told anyone yet. Especially not Yumi.

"...You shouldn't string her along like this, Jin. She loves you."

"I know...." He sighed deeply. "I dunno... I don't know what she sees in me."

Ingrid sits up beside him, her face coming into his line of vision. Her natural curls were all over the place. He bites back the smile trying to make his face. They were cute, how her curls framed her face, not as long as he remembered them being but looking all the more attractive. "What could she not see in you?"   "I don't treat her like I should, Innie. I never did. She was always just... a bare minimum. She filled in a blank. I didn't love her the same way I loved you." Ingrid's flushed face fell slightly at his words.

"You tried to find me in her?"

"...I guess I did. And I couldn't. She never seemed to mind how I'd brush her off. I never really paid much attention to what she likes. I couldn't even tell you what her favorite color is." But with Ingrid, he knew all of her favorite colors. When she liked them most at certain times of the year, what she liked most about them and why. He never forgot those details about her. Even if it stung to let those thoughts resurface.

"It's just so unfair, Jin. Imagine if the roles were switched. Wouldn't you be hurt to be strung along like this? Your wedding is a couple of months away...! Wouldn't it be best to call it off now before invitations and announcements go out?"

He sighed, feeling the anchor of guilt weighing on his chest. He knew all of this. And he ought to put a stop to it before the tabloids get their hands on it, too. He could see the disgusting headlines already: Beloved Korean Actor Kim Seok Jin Caught Cheating? Actor Kim Seok Jin Leaving Supermodel Yumi? Kim Seok Jin Found Guilty of Cheating? The media would devour this story, it could ruin a lot more than his reputation.

Ingrid sighs, having watched the stress twist his flushed expression. He felt her warm hand on his chest, soft fingertips massaging the shell of his ear gently. Jin shuts his eyes at the soothing feeling. "How am I supposed to go about it, Innie? Every time I see her it's about how beautiful her dress is going to be or what kind of refreshments she wants for the ceremony. She's been anticipating this since we met."

Ingrid hums, "Which is exactly why you ought to tell her now, Jin. Her feelings will be hurt, she'll probably beg to know why. Hell, I would! I see how she looks at you, like you're her whole world. The whole of Korea knows it." Many of their fans were anticipating the wedding since Yumi announced their engagement on social media - despite him asking her not to. But the girl was so excited, naturally she'd want to share this news with the world. And, well, the world received it.

Jin chews his lip, "Don't wait until the wedding. By then you'll be bound together by law and the pressure will be on more than ever." She reasoned, and he knew she was right. Of course she was.

Jin hadn't wanted this. He shouldn't have allowed his friends to convince him to move on.  He should have focused more on his work. He got so caught up in his loneliness that he had to reach out and hold on to someone before he was inevitably let go forever. Yumi just so happened to be the person who caught his hand.

"Why did you leave me, Innie?" He asked in a whisper, meeting her eyes from where he lie.

She sighs, tearing her gaze from his. "Jin, we've been over this before-"

"Just tell me," He begged, and her brow softened as she heard his voice quiver. "Why did we have to split up?"

Ingrid shifts, looking away from him, eyes trailing over the mess they'd made of her bedroom. Pillows and sheets and clothes tossed all over, a product of their furious passion.

"You had so much going for you. Remember? You were just cast for the lead role in that zombie movie? And by then people already knew you for your shows..."

"My fame?" He asked, astonished. Ingrid shakes her head.

"Your potential," She whispered. She sighs shakily. "I knew that... in order for you to pursue your dreams of making it big as an A-list actor, you had to let something go..."

Jin sits up, gripping her wrist. "But I didn't want to let you go, Ingrid. I never wanted that. I didn't want to leave you."

She couldn't look at him, her head dropping. "I know," she sniffed. "I love you so much, Jin. You know how hard I fell for you. Nothing would have changed that. Nothing."

"So why leave, then?" He wondered. "Why leave me?"  He still remembered the ache he felt the day he told her goodbye. The tears that slipped when they made love that last time. The deafening silence in the car when he drove her to the airport. The dread he felt when he watched her board her plane, never realizing that it would be the last time he'd see her in person. He still remembered the tears in her eyes, how her gaze lingered like she couldn't bare to look away. He remembered how badly he wanted to hold her again before she could go, one last hug just for good measure. He remembered sulking on the way back home and weeping to his heart's content. Craving her touch, her words, her scent. He wanted to call her but she told him not to. He remembered the looks of sympathy his co-workers had given him when he had to go on set that day. No amount of make-up could lift the droopiness of his eyes. To this very day fans point out how strange his eyes look in that scene, of course with their own speculations as to why.

"They would have made you leave me if I didn't," Ingrid muttered, refusing to look at his face. Jin furrowed his brows, deeply confused by her reasoning. No one significant really knew about the two of them being together. Only their close friends knew. They were all very supportive of the two.

"You started from nothing, Jin. You took on ridiculous roles and built yourself up from the ground level. You graduated with honors. You're praised for your work ethic and good nature. You became Korea's darling actor. Imagine what the media would do to you if they found out you and I were together." He started to protest, but went quiet.

She was right. Months before she left Korea, Ingrid was already being suspected. She has no name in the entertainment industry, to many she's considered a "nobody". Idols dating non-idols wasn't exactly unheard of in Korea, but then you take into account that she was a foreigner. A black woman. With an already conservative dating culture, tabloids exploiting her was a guarantee.

Not to mention this was at a time where Jin's career was really gaining some traction. He was getting popular with the masses quickly, and there were plenty of loyal and dedicated fans that he's met. Some have pushed the limits, though. He's been appointed lawyers to implement restraining orders at any given moment. The things they would do if they found out about his relationship with Ingrid... He's heard horror stories about some idols and their publicly exposed relationships, and the reactions some " fans" have had in response. It made his skin crawl with disdain.

They would have hurt her, plastered her name across every platform they could find. They'd have made jokes about her, exploited her looks. Publicly shamed her, exposed her past and family members. It was terrifying, the lengths that such toxic behavior from the media had reached. He wouldn't live with himself if something happened to her because of him.

But they both knew this in the past. Ingrid was fully aware of how dangerous it could be to be in a relationship with Jin, especially as someone who isn't a celebrity and was a foreigner. She wasn't afraid of what might happen to her, she was worried about him.

"They would have lynched you. How dare he marry that dark skinned girl? Her hair is so messy, what does he see in her? Their children would be so ugly!" She shakes her head. "You would have been attacked Jin, they would end your career before you'd even have much of a chance to start."

"Innie-"

"You know it's true!" She said sternly. "Don't try to convince me that it's not. That's how these things go Jin. God forbid a man decides he wants to be with a black girl, the whole world might just crash down... I couldn't do that to you, Jin. I watched you struggle. I've seen you get used and hurt. Taken advantage of. And I know you would have risked it all to be with me, but.... I couldn't let you."

"So you left..." He concluded.

"I didn't want to. But I knew that if I didn't do it by my own fruition someone somewhere would have found a way to turn us against each other. Or make me leave with whatever tricks they could manage to pull. I've always had full trust in you, Jin, but you and I both know how convincing those outlets can be." He sighed in defeat. He did know exactly what she was saying. He honestly didn't know what he would have done if the roles were switched.

"I love you, Ingrid." He blurted. She whips her head around to meet his eyes.

"Don't-"

"I do. I've never stopped," His heart was throbbing so hard he felt it in his throat. He managed to swallow the lump before it could stunt his words. "I tried to drown myself in work. In other people. In Yumi... I kept searching for you knowing I would never find you."

"Jin, please..." She whispered, shaking her head. She sniffles, wiping the tears trying to break from her lids. "I can't listen to this."

He grabs her wrists, "Look at me, Innie," He begged. "Please."

She lifts her wet gaze, looking deeply into his eyes. She stared for a long time, finding sincerity and belonging and... home. The same sense of home she's been seeking when she came back to Korea.

"I want to marry you, Ingrid."

She gasped, "Jin...!"

"I do. I'm serious. I always pictured you as my wife. The mother of my babies... You'd make such a good Mama," he chuckles to himself. "A mean one," she laughs tearfully, smacking his shoulder. "But only if you have to be. I want to be there for you, Ingrid, just like you were there for me when I was fresh out of the military and when I was struggling on my own for the first time. You would bring me food after my long classes and rehearsals. You'd read over every script with me so that I wouldn't forget my lines - no matter how cringey they were. You'd always wait outside my auditions with encouragement regardless of the result. You were always my number one fan..." He can't help his grin at the memories of her big smile every time he managed to land a role he really wanted. Or her words of comfort and encouragement when he was met with disappointment and a will to give up. It was the best thing he could've asked for.

He pulls her into his chest, the warmth of her body on his felt absolutely right. He missed the contrast of their skin. He lays a gentle kiss on her neck, then her shoulder. Her breath hitches as his hand grips her sensitive breast. "Jin..." He pulls her onto his lap, gripping her supple flesh. Ingrid pulls herself away. "I need you to tell her the truth." she whispered, he felt her hand on his cheek, looking at him pleadingly. "She deserves to know."

He sighs, bobbing his head. Ingrid was right, Yumi did deserve to know how he feels about her. But that didn't mean she would get the whole truth.

"When you leave, don't come back until you've ended things with her. I mean it," Ingrid whispered, pecking his lips sweetly.  "It's the right thing to do."

🌺🌺🌺

Jin unlocked the door, finding his condo was neatly tidied. He sighed, shutting the door behind him, shedding his shoes and coat. "Jinnie? Is that you?" He heard his fiancé call from another room.

He hummed, watching her shuffle her way out of the dining room excitedly. She sported a big smile on her face, like she was happy to see him. Jin bites his lips, feeling the chain of guilt linking his feet together. How could he stare at her like nothing was wrong when he was just making long, passionate love with his lover?

"You were out for a while, Jinnie! I almost called the director to complain!" She teased, reaching up on her toes to kiss his cheek. He couldn't look her in the eyes. God, the guilt would break him.

She paused, studying his expression, her arms drape over his broad shoulders. "What's wrong?" She asked softly.

He shakes his head, "N-Nothing, Yumi... Can I talk to you?"

She nods, gasping suddenly like she just remembered something. He watched her shuffle across the house. "I talked to Dr. Moon earlier today! He said that we can schedule fertility shots during our honeymoon! Wouldn't that be great? We could have a baby sooner than we thought, Jin!"

"Yumi, please," She wasn't making this any easier on him. She paused, looking up at him worriedly. She didn't like when he got serious like this, couldn't handle it. It made her panic, like it realized the impending doom that was their relationship. She didn't want to face it, and kept running away from it. She'd always hated arguing with him for this very reason, she felt it meant that their relationship was doomed. Her insecurities couldn't withstand that sort of pressure; it made things all the more difficult for Jin. None of their issues had been resolved because she was content with having things be the way they were. She never complained, even when he'd mistreat her or brush her off. He'd adopt the gall to apologize and she'd brush it off like she hadn't been wronged. She was desperate to have his constant approval. "Just, let's have a seat."

"But I need your opinion on wedding invitations. I want to make sure the design is perfect before we send them out-"

"Yumi, we can't do this anymore." He said at last. She went quiet, and he felt her gaze on him. He felt her confusion, the hurt, even the anger. It was all justified.

Jin slumps on the couch, clearing his throat before the lump could find a home there. He sighs deeply, "You deserve better than this. You deserve a husband who won't take you for granted, or treat you like you're just filling in for someone else. Yumi, we... we can't get married."

"W-What?" Her voice was frail, wavering as her eyes welled up with tears.

"It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself, please. It's mine...." He sighed, deciding he was already hurting the poor girl's feelings enough. She wasn't going to be able to handle the capacity of his relationship with Ingrid. "It's not fair for me to lead you on into something that isn't genuine. You should have a husband that can support you, and love you-"

She shakes her head, her tears spilling. "But you have been, Jin. You've been nothing but good to me."

"No, I haven't. There's someone out there that would happily marry you, Yumi. And he'd gladly father your kids. I'm not going to trap you in a marriage that isn't what you really want."

"How would you know what I want in marriage, Jin? Can't you tell it's you?" She demanded, biting back a sob. She sniffles, turning her face so he wouldn't see her crying. She was struggling to stifle her emotions, to keep them hidden. "Please," she hiccuped. "Don't do this."

Jin stands to his feet, bending down to kiss her cheek. "I know you'll find someone genuine one day. And it's going to feel so right. So much better than how you've ever felt with me, Yumi. I know it. But I'm not the man you need. I'm not your soulmate."

She sobs, covering her face. "Please, Jin." She begged.

"I'm going to go pack my things. You can have the condo, do what you want with it, alright? Make good use with it." She looks up at him, desperately into his eyes to try to convince him to change his mind.

But he had already made up his mind. She whimpers in defeat, "I love you, Jin."

He offers her a gentle smile, "Take care of yourself, Yumi."

🌺🌺🌺

Ingrid startles out of her sleep when she heard pounding on her door. Surely her neighbors would complain if she didn't answer it soon. She shuffles out of bed, pulling her robe over her shoulders and tying it as she rushes to the peephole.

She gasps at the sight of Jin, not having expected him back so soon. He looked exhausted and deflated, wearing the same clothes he'd left in five hours prior. She unlocks it hurriedly. "Jin!" She whispered. "What the hell are you doing here? It's three in the morning!" If anyone were to recognize him at this time of night they'd be all over the news for sure. He knows better than to just show up out of the blue, Ingrid's apartment didn't have nearly enough security for him to live in. He had to have a disguise every time he'd visit.

His shoulders were slumped, she sighs and pulls him in, locking the door behind him. He grips the strap of his bag. Ingrid folds her arms expectantly, waiting for his explanation.

"I broke it off with her." He said at last, and Ingrid's face softened.

"Jin..."

"I don't care what it takes, Innie. I want to be with you. I'm not letting anyone or anything get in the way of that this time. Luck runs out, and you don't have much opportunity to meet your soulmate twice." he drops his bag on the ground, engulfing her in his arms, lifting her off her feet.

She didn't know what she could say. If she should say anything at all. She wraps her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his plump lips. He melts at the taste of it. The relief swelled inside him, the comfort of knowing that she was his again and there weren't any repercussions.

When they pulled away for air he saw the light catch her cheek, swiping the moisture that had trailed down it. He locks their lips again, feeling her wrap her legs around his waist, deepening their kiss. It developed into a sultry, heated endeavor. One that left the both of them breathless. Ingrid squirmed and subconsciously moaned into his mouth.

He lays her on the couch, prying her robe from her body. She couldn't help but to giggle as he eagerly tugged her panties down her thighs, yanking them from her feet and tossing them somewhere. "Jin, you should rest." She tried weakly, knowing it would do very little to stop him. It was a two hour drive from his condo to her apartment, surely he must've been tired, having had to drive back and forth. She hadn't expected his reappearance so soon.

He knelt between her legs, wrapping his lips around her breast. She moans, gripping his hair. He moved over to the other breast, looking up into her eyes as he gently lapped and pulled at her exposed, erect nipple. He watched her face flush at the sight, smirking to himself.

Her hands scramble to pull his garments off, pushing them down his legs with her feet. She watched Jin collect moisture from his lips before he reached down, stroking himself slowly before sinking into her, careful with how he pressed his weight into her body.

Ingrid huffs hotly, gripping her cushions in a tight fist. Jin hums at the bliss, slowly driving his hips into hers. Ingrid inhales sharply, her hips bucking up harshly into his. He tucks his arm beneath her, into the small of her back. "Fuck, I missed you." He couldn't get enough of her body. In the four months since they'd encountered he's been coming to her place, unleashing all the sexual frustration and energy he's been withholding since they first parted. Never had he been so aggressively invested in sex. His body only seemed to respond to hers.

It was such a relief to feel like he was home, where he belonged with Ingrid. No wedge would drive them apart again, he'd make sure of it. Her harmonious moans fill her living room, tight grips on his body securing the two of them together. Jin couldn't wait to rekindle what was once lost, surely, there was more to recover.

🌺Feel free to share your thoughts on this kind of content. I'm also open to requests!

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Love On-Set (Pt. 05 of 10)

Pairing: Dacre Montgomery X Reader

Word count: 2.9K

Summary: You knew acting on Stranger Things season 3 would be a challenge, and you also knew, from the start, you'd have to work closely with Dacre Montgomery. But is wasn't a big deal for you, since this is your job and you're determined to act professionally. You had it all figured out, or so you thought, until the moment you were out face to face with Dacre. Then, this job became a lot harder than it was supposed to be, since you can't seem to focus whenever you're around Dacre. And you'll have to be around him a lot until the end of production.

<- Previous part (04)

Next part (06)->

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

All The Right Signs

“Gaten, get it together! It's fake raining!” Finn yells as Gaten messes up the scene for the fourth time. Everyone just laughs as you brace yourself.

“Five minutes everyone!” James shouts and you follow the kids as they run out of the rain as the water is turned off.

Today, you're glad the scene is outside, with all the main actors. It's always fun, and you need to keep your mind away from what will happen tomorrow. You thought the kissing scene was too far away, but now it's just around the corner. And you didn't do as James said. Every time Dacre showed up to work on that, you'd just sit, watch something and talk. And you always have fun together. The director never asked about the video though, so you just decided to let it go.

But now, it's tomorrow. And you're trying hard not to think about it until it's inevitable.

“Are you cold?” Dacre comes to stand before you, messing up your train of thought.

“A little, yeah.” You answer, removing some hair from your face.

“Well...” He steps closer, his hands rubbing your arms. You immediately feel warmer, but you don't think it's because of the gesture. “If Gaten manages to say his line without bursting into laughter we'll get out of the cold very soon.”

You can't help but blush, staring into his blue eyes. “He is–”

A camera flashing gets your attention, and both you and Dacre look at the source. Millie tries to hide her phone as if the bright light didn't startle you.

“I can't wait for tomorrow.” Natalia comments.

Unfortunately, they will have to be here, because the kissing scene isn't the only one scheduled. You still don't know if it's good or bad. Probably bad.

“Alright, let's get it done.” As James speaks, the water is turned back on and it starts raining again.

“Let's go.” You say in a low voice, accompanying Dacre back to your positions.

It takes another four attempts for Gaten to finally say his line without messing up, and the rest of you are free to finish the take. Afterward, before you can run to your dressing room to shower and change out of the soaking clothes, the guys decide to make some silly pictures with everyone soaking wet. In the middle of the commotion to strike a pose, Dacre finds he's way to stand next to you, an arm either on your shoulders or around your waist. You try not to give it much thought, hoping Millie's phone camera won't get your blushing cheeks.

When it's all done, you take a warm shower before heading to the van and an hour later you're at your hotel room. But the day isn't over yet. The guys are coming here to finally start working on the Battle of Starcourt scenes. But you still have some time before they show up, so you make yourself comfortable on the couch, a blanket around your shoulders as you watch Jaws since you're in the mood for a classic movie.

A knock on the door startles you a little, and you notice you were too immersed in the movie. Dragging the blanket with you, you walk over there after checking your phone. There's still an hour until they come and you didn't order anything. But you unlock it and swing it open, biting your lip when you see Dacre. “Hey.”

“Hi.” He furrows his eyebrows when he looks down at you. “I absolutely love your dress.”

“Really? It's the last fashion in my living room fashion week.” Giggling, you step aside, closing the door shut when Dacre comes in. “You're early. Nobody got here yet.“

“Yeah, I know.”

Raising an eyebrow, you shrug your shoulders. It's not like you would send him away. “I'm watching Jaws. So we can either watch it or put on something else.” Making your way back to the couch, you watch as he does the same, settling down beside you. “You want the blanket?” You decide to ask, just to be polite.

“Sure.”

That you weren't expecting. It's not cold. Well, not that cold. You just took the blanket to feel more comfortable since you're wearing shorts and a light blouse. “Ok.“ You mumble as you take the blanket from around your shoulders, fixing it on both you and Dacre.

Then you focus on the movie. Or you try to focus the best you can. Why is Dacre here? Millie's voice comes back to your head, her lastest advise making you bounce your leg nervously. She told you Dacre is giving all the signs he's into you. And you should do the same, or else he'll get the idea you're not interested and step back. Natalia assured it'll happen because Dacre is a gentleman, always have been, and he won't keep pushing you into something you don't want.

Taking a deep breath, you think about your options. You feel how Dacre's arm is touching yours, and you have an idea. Feeling the butterflies in your stomach going insane, you lean closer to Dacre. “Can I?” You ask, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Sure.” He answers, and after a few seconds of the most uncomfortable silence you've even been through, Dacre moves, putting his arm around your shoulders, what makes you snuggle closer to him, your head resting partly on his chest and neck. Your whole body is frozen for a moment, wondering what this is. Then he moves again, his arm sliding down to embrace your waist, and you decide to just end the small distance that was between your bodies, completely leaning on him. “Is this ok?”

“Yeah.” You nod, eyes tightly shut as your cheeks start burning. “The shark is attacking.” Trying to ease the tension, you gesture at the TV.

“It is,” Dacre mumbles, and you feel his chest vibrating as he speaks.

As the minutes pass by, you feel more comfortable. And it feels good to finally allow yourself to do this. It's something so simple, so silly, but still, it feels right. You've been dying to do this and you didn't even know.

Unfortunately, the hour passes by, the knocks and the chattering announcing that your time alone with Dacre is over. Sighing, you leave the blanket behind and go open the door, hoping nobody will notice that Dacre was here already.

•

“Ok, ok. Positions...” Joe says after the coffee table and couch were pushed aside, leaving a free space in the middle of the room. You stand beside Millie, script in hand as you wait to find out what scene they'll start with. “You there. You can be... There.”

“Why do I have the feeling we interrupted something,” Natalia whispers as she walks by, tilting her head at Dacre, who's discussing something in the script with Sadie.

“Dacre just came to...” To do what? Did he even come to do something specifically? “He came a little earlier.”

“I didn't know you could get this red,” Millie exclaims, staring at you. “Oh, my God, I'm so happy I'll get to see the kissing scene.”

The kissing scene. Nobody in the freaking universe will let you forget it. As if you needed them to remind you that Dacre's lips will be on yours by tomorrow night. “I want to get it done on one take, so don't screw it.”

“You should ask us to ruin it as much as we can so you'll get to kiss him more times.” Natalia sing songs and you Millie laughs, nodding.

“It won't be Dacre and I. It'll be Billy and Amy. It's a scene, it's our job.” You don't know what gets to you, the words just roll out. And they're all true. It won't be a real kiss. It's not like you don't want to do it. You want to kiss Dacre, and this is making you nervous, but it just won't be real. “Let's just focus here, ok?”

The next hours are tiring. They were right to do this because the Battle of Starcourt will be chaos, and it'll be a lot better if you kinda know the dynamics before having to actually shoot it. But you're distracted, forgetting your lines so many times you have to just keep the scrip in hand and read it. You're thankful for the kids being so crazy because they make you laugh and forget your anxiety for a while.

It's past midnight then they leave, and as you're saying your goodbyes at the door, you notice Dacre falling behind. When he's by the door, the others are already disappearing down the hall.

“Guess I'll see you tomorrow.” You mutter, looking down at your feet. If it wasn't for a meeting James called with the whole cast in the morning, you'd have the whole day to deal with before going to the set. It's better this way though, you think.

“Yeah. I'd be down for another gym date but I have this job that won't let me.”

Giggling, you bite your lip. “You think it'll be about changes in the script?”

“I'm sure it will,” Dacre mumbles, giving a look at the hall. When you follow his gaze, you see three blurs in the shape of heads, vanishing into the corner. “We're being watched.” He lowers his voice as if you were in great danger.

“Hope it's not the Demogorgon. I'd hate to save your ass. Again.” When you look back at him, you find his blue eyes already set on you. It makes you sigh, wondering why your legs won't work, and make you step back, returning to the normal distance you should put between you and someone else. “I'll get some sleep... Rough day tomorrow.”

“I agree.” Another glance at the hall, but you don't have time to check if anyone's there this time. Dacre leans closer and places a kiss on your cheek, as he usually does. Only this time is different. It lingers, for far too long, and at the same time, it ends too soon. And you're sure you felt the corner of his lips on yours. “Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night.” Whispering, you stand by the door as he makes his way to the elevators, giving one last look back before disappearing in the corner.

• • •

Your hands are shaking a little, and you blame it on the cold wind. But the wind isn't that cold. Is it?

You're already in your position, at Hawkins Community Pool's parking lot, next to this random car and your stylist is finishing with your hair and giving the final touches on your make-up. No lipstick. You can't imagine why.

On your left, you see many pairs of eyes set on you. After this scene, James wants to shot the sequence, when the kids find a Demodog in the pool, so everyone is here. But you can't think about that now, you have to focus. Amy needs to come to life today, and you need to act like a professional. You knew acting in Stranger Things would be huge, and difficult, but you'd never guess it would be this hard.

You take the deepest breath you can when you see Dacre coming your way. Mullets were an atrocity to humankind, you think, but damn, he did make it look good. How is it even possible? He shouldn't be allowed to do that.

“Hey. You–”

“Everyone ready?” James' thunder voice cuts him off, and you have no idea if that's good or bad. No time to figure out. “Clean the set, let's do this. Dacre, (Y/N), are you ready?”

Nodding, you force your mind to remember the lines. You're Amy now... Which sucks because by now, Amy is already in love with Billy. Nothing will help you, you just need to get it done, give the audience the show they want.

“Great. Alright then... Ready and... Action!”

You're not ready for that, but you move anyways.

“I can't believe you took almost an hour to get here, Hargrove!” Amy yells, walking fast to end the small distance between her and Billy. “There's a freaking Demodog in the pool!”

“It's dead. So why the hurry?” Dacre keeps the smug smirk, the one that makes you want to slap Billy. Just a little bit. “Chill.”

“Don't tell me to chill. Can't you miss one single date? Not even when there's an interdimensional monster involved?” You punch Dacre hard on the chest, well not so hard, but he does give a tiny step back. This is Amy's jealously attack, and you make sure to make her look frustrated because despite the emotions overflowing, she knows she shouldn't be doing this.

“Why the hell you always think I'm with some girl?”

“Because that's where you always are.” Jumping to conclusions. That's the way Amy found to keep her heart away from Billy. Didn't work though. “You know what, it doesn't matter. We have a bigger fish to fry.”

When you turn around to leave, Dacre gets his cue, grabbing your arm and forcing you to stop and stumble back. “The damn thing is dead, it can wait.”

“Let go.” Amy pleads, stepping backwards as Billy comes closer. That's the moment where she gives up trying. This thing with Billy has been going on for a while now, and, as in real life, there's just this point where you stop fighting it. “Seriously, I'm tired of this shit so let's just–”

“I know you're jealous.” He mutters, just when your back hits the car. James loves to have you trapped like that. “Just need to figure out why.”

“I've said it once, and I'll say it again.” It's hard to follow the script, it's hard to keep breathing normally. It's so damn hard to keep eye contact with Dacre right now. “I won't be one of your flings so back the hell down.”

It comes out too low, and you wait for James to stop the scene. And you want him too. You can't do this. You can't stop looking at Dacre's lips, you can't control the butterflies in your stomach. This is just a goddman scene, why can't you get it together?

“Who said I want you to be a fling?”

That's it. It's happening. Dacre leans closer, so close that you have no choice but to close your eyes. He's saying something else, but you don't hear it. Your hands find their way to his chest, grabbing his jacket as if to steady yourself, to get a grip of reality. When his lips brush on yours, Amy is gone and you break character, taking a deep breath before pulling him closer, eager to end the small distance and finally–.

A loud noise, an explosion, makes both of you jump. One of the cameras near you come crashing down and if it wasn't for Dacre pulling you away, it would hit you. The whole thing moves like a domino effect, knocking a few more cameras with it. You barely hear James's voice, stepping further back, making sure you're far enough. The rest of the cast abruptly stand up from their chairs, worried.

“Everyone back off!” James shouts.

“Are you ok?” Dacre asks and you simply nod, a hand on your heart.

James dismisses everyone while he and his assistants check what happened. You silently walk beside Dacre until you reach the rest of the crew, looking down and trying not to think about the kiss. Or the almost kiss.

“What the hell happened?” Joe asks, and everyone starts talking at the same time.

There isn't much to talk about. Four of the five cameras are wrecked, and the director is pissed. But still, you're too far away, your mind stuck in the phantom of the kiss you craved for so desperately. Dacre stands by your side, but you can't look at him right now. So you engage in the conversation, ignoring Millie's and Natalia's stares, hoping nobody will notice your blushing cheeks.

An hour later, the big news arrive. Well, they're big news fort he cast, not for James. After analyzing the damage, James will have to suspend the shooting for five days. Which means you'll have five days off. Everyone starts making plans, and the ride back to the hotel is filled with happy chattering about who will go where. But you already know what you'll do. You'll fly home and use these days to rest. And think.

“Hey.” Dacre gets your attention, following out of the van when you reach the hotel. “What are your plans?”

“Uhm... I'm flying home.” Shrugging your shoulders, you keep his pace through the main hall.

“Oh, you live in LA, right?” Giving him a quick glance, you nod. “I'm living there too, I don't know if I told you.”

This lights up a spark in your heart, and suddenly, you're not so excited to stay away anymore. “No, you haven't.”

“We can book our flights together... If that's ok.”

His hesitation gets you by surprise, but then you notice how distant you've been acting since the kiss. Damn, he might be thinking you didn't like it or something. That he made you uncomfortable. That's exactly what you don't want him to think. “It is. When do you wanna leave?”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“That's fine by me.” You finally decide to look at him, and you immediately regret avoiding his eyes. Being nervous is... Normal. Maybe. But his eyes give you the reassurance you need. “I'll stop by your room in an hour so we can buy the tickets.”

“I'll be waiting.” His lips break into a smile, and you can't help but bite your lip and smile too.

“I'll be there.” You say as the doors open on his floor. Dacre mutters a goodbye, and right before the door closes again, you see when he winks at you.

×

@baker151910 @shinydixon @dreamin-of-dacre @hanoi15 @lickmymelanin @foccus @multific @uncookspaget @kellysimagines @peakascum

[randomfandomimagine]

To your rant: AMEN.

(Wrote a part of this to Ace while back but they apparently didn't receive it but I think it needs to be said so)

Honestly at the moment it starts to feel like people request wrong on purpose because they're bored or something and want to irritate people or test if they could get their request across even though it’s breaking their rules... because suddenly everyone seem to get a lot of requests which are breaking the rules. Like whenever I have my spamming events, I get 101 requests which are smut, romantic requests for 13 year old characters whose actors are also 13 and also celebrity requests are common and like those three rules are broken over and over and over again and now everyone else seem to get requests which break their SAME FUCKING RULES all the time. Also the fact that some are like “when your requests are open again, could you write a fic like this?” LIKE NO, REQUESTS ARE CLOSED FOR A REASON, BECAUSE THE WRITER HAS SO MANY REQUESTS THAT THEY NEED TIME TO GO THROUGH THEM BEFORE OPENING THEM AGAIN, AND IT SHOULD BE COMMON SENSE :DDDDD It isn’t like you’re writing only when requests are open.

FYI, WRITERS ARE NOT GONNA ROLL A FUCKING GOLDEN GLITTER CARPET FOR YOU WHICH IS ENTITLING YOU TO REQUEST WHATEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT.

So people please, if you can read all those long stories or binge 50 smaller pieces from a writer at one sitting, you can take time to check out their rules at least if you're gonna request………………… and the same goes for all writers. We. Are. Not. Machines.

And if it won’t go to your thick heads, you can think about what you did and whose fault it is when writers are gone after losing motivation for writing all these fics for you and getting only shit on their faces in return. We don’t even get paid by money, we are paid by feedback, reblogs, you interacting with our writing and btw that's a cheap price for writing your requests. If you continue acting like we’re machines and thinking you can treat us however you want, writers will start dropping out. My motivation to write is finally returning and I'm slowly starting to get back to the rhythm but tbh I’m scared to come back properly because of all these people being rude and breaking rules all the time. Tumblr is becoming a super toxic place and I hate it and I start losing hope that the boat can be turned around, and also started to lose motivation again the next day after I came back even though nothing happened, I just started fearing rudely formatted requests coming at me again, or guilt tripping or people being asses in general. But prove me wrong if you have balls to do that. Turn that boat around. We can all do it together.

We're in a sealed room slowly filling with water, and we have to work together so we can pull the lever to open that one door. But it won't work even if 100 mice (writers + those few who support writers) are pushing one sleeping elephant (readers-only) forward to pull the lever so they wouldn't drown in that room. That elephant has to wake up and help the mice, only that way they can get forward.

Also the fact that people finally got triggered about the fact that I don't feel comfortable to write for HP/Fantastic Beasts for now for obvious reasons :DDDDDDDD I got another last night after I blocked the first one. I can't believe I have such toxic, childish and petty people following me, and same kinds of people are following everyone in this community. People who take us as granted.

I hope things will get better and people learn some manners eventually. Every creator deserves it.

Thank you, Jenni! I know you’ve had to deal with some seriously stupid trolls and people that shouldn’t be allowed on the internet. 

Sometimes it does feel like a few trolls are requesting incorrectly on purpose, I was especially frustrated when I saw Lacey answering some requests that had me going like ‘seriously, people?’ And the fact that people disregard the same rules over and over again (especially on your case) just tells me that they care more about their request being written than your comfort, and that sucks. Those people think they’re entitled to our content forgetting we do this for free!

This part you wrote especially resonated with me, it’s so true:

So people please, if you can read all those long stories or binge 50 smaller pieces from a writer at one sitting, you can take time to check out their rules at least if you're gonna request………………… and the same goes for all writers. We. Are. Not. Machines.

I especially try real hard and reread my rules almost every day to make sure they’re short and concise, that I put bold and colors on the absolute most important stuff and people still don’t read correctly or just don’t care. 

Like, today I got an ask saying ‘what’s a prompt’. Just that. No question mark, no hi, no nothing. First of all, you can read my rules and my posts to know what they are, I linked examples and you can literally search the tag. It feels like a troll tbh...

You’re absolutely right that Tumblr is becoming an awful place for content creators and it’s up to people to start being more respectful and supportive if they want to avoid Tumblr becoming empty. Content creators make this website, not just us writers but also artists and gif makers and we all deserve some love!

And don’t get me started on the HP/FBAWTFT/JKR bullshit, I really have to restrain myself not to reply ‘shut the fuck up anon’ on every single one of your asks. I myself am thinking about not writing for those fandoms anymore because JKR ruined the series for me and I don’t enjoy writing for it as much as I did, so I will probably remove them from my fandoms list. For now I’m on hiatus for those fandoms, so fight me, anons!

*sigh* I hate that whenever we try to establish boundaries people either disregard them or guilt us for them, it really shows that those awful people only care about their requests and nothing else. There’s people behind the blogs, with real lives and problems and emotions! I do hope that things get better myself, if not I might actually quit one day since I keep thinking about it, and I know and I’m not the only one.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 43 - watching notes

The sun is setting on this show for me and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet 😔

(As if I will! Ha. Imma blog about nothing else the next ... probably years)

Last time on Sophie watches the untamed: We're still in the restricted section. The twin love-struck idiots of lan and wwx found the Collection of turmoil and suspect Jin Guangyao of intentionally bringing about Nie Mingjue's qui deviation.

As much as I love the "hihi. Wwx is wearing his boyfriend's underrobe" aspect of this, I also like the visual incorporation of lwj's colour scheme into wwx's clothes. (Not just through the undertone, his black tone also has slight grey seam.) It's as if now that they are finally fully committed to each other, wwx is displaying it for all the world to see

Jin Guangyao tore out a page to hide the evidence. That's not how to do that!!!

My heart is breaking for Lan Xichen. He looks like a man standing on a train track and watching the light speed towards him in horror while he's unable to move away

Feels like exactly no one on this show is getting their happy ending

*thinks about yi city and cries forever*😭😭😭

"Wangji, Jin Guangyao,in my eyes, is a totally different person from how you and other people see him." And we all know that lwj knows exactly what that's like

PARALLELS! 😭

(Sorry, I have a thing for those)

And lwj looks so pained

Thinking about it, it's now the man lwj loves against the man lxc loves (in whatever way. I still ship them. Not sure if its "canonically" romantic though). They can't both be right, so ... one of them is going to get their heart broken

Great, first the Yunmeng brothers, now the lan brothers are breaking my heart 🥺

Lwj says he's visiting "Grand Master", that's Lan Qiren right? What happened to him anyway? Haven't seen him in ages

I love how, even though it is wwx's word against jgy's right now, lan Xichen is still genuinely kind towards wwx

The whipping scars! I hadn't even thought about those anymore 😳

I'm probably going to get my heart ripped out soon, but before that

"You are not qualified to talk to me."

Sickest. Burn. Ever.

Also, no disrespect to the actor, but that's a backpfeifengesicht if I've ever seen one

(Backpfeifengesicht: "German compound word for a 'face that should be slapped'. Ex:. When GWB smirks on TV, my German friend Uwe tells me that he sees a 'Backpfeifengesicht'." Urban dictionary)

He went to burial mount after wwx was killed??? 🥺🥺🥺

I've noticed something with lwj. When he's distressed, he won't look people in the eye or not even at their faces, just in their very general direction. To me it seems like he almost... can't? Any thoughts on that? Cause I'm intrigued but I can't think about it too much right now cause I'm already writing half an essay in this commentary again 😅

Oh fuck YOU Jiggy!!!

Holy shit ... holy shit

Lan Wangji 🥺🥺🥺

He fought against everyone?

This is how he showed his grieve???

He went to the place wei Wuxian had called home and ... what? Protected or ot so they wouldn't desecrate it? To search for him? To ... what?

Oh god, Wangji! 😭

That image... I'm speechless. It's so powerful

He's half-mad with grieve and kneeling in the ruins of his dead loves home, having fought himself to exhaustion and I'm... not okay 😭😭😭

He had to repent for THREE YEARS??

Oh no, you don't

Holy ...

Holy shit

How can my heart break and be so full at the same time 💔🥺

Lan Wangji ... my love

I'm ... so proud of him and yet so sad

Here he is at his lowest, finally standing up to the orthodoxy he knows to be wrong

This is inhumane 😳

The corporal punishment of the lan sect always was but THIS

Fuck them

Or Lan Qiren specifically

That's his nephew. How can he even look at himself?

"Eradicate evil. Establish laws. Than goodness will be everlasting."

IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY!!!

WHAT EVEN IS "GOODNESS"? WHOSE VERSION OF GOODNESS? DEVINE EVIL! HOW FAR REACHING INTO THE PRIVATE SVERE SHOULD THUSE LAWS BE? DOES IT STOP AT "DON'T STEAL FROM PEOPLE OR AT "DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE AT DINNER"?

what I'm saying is: there are about 200 ethical question ls being raised by this rule alone!

And now lan Wangji had 3 tears to contemplate them

Wwx asking "why would he bother ...?" BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!

Ohhh! We're getting their parents' story 😱

Oh this IS a Lan episode 💙

So another Lan falling quickly and never looking back?

I'm sensing a pattern here 🤨

Wait what?

Let me get this straight:

Their father loved a woman who DID NOT love him back and then killed one of his teachers

(And I hope we find out why. That sounds like there is a REALLY interesting story there)

Then he takes her to cloud recess and DESPIT HER NOT LOVING HIM, marries her, fathers two children with her (um... how voluntary was that????) locks her up (as punishment for the murder?) then locks HIMSELF up and then fucks of and leaves his children with their uncle

What kind of disaster human being was their dad????

Did he do the right thing WHEN HE MARRIED AND PROBABLY RAPED A WOMAN WHO DIDN'T LOVE HIM???

NO!!!

The fuck kinda question is that ??

If you have to marry her against her will and then lock her up, guess what? That's not love, that's wanting to possess someone

I hope that maybe the connotation is different in the og Chinese,but I'm not holding out much hope

That explains why Qiren is such a lovely character through 😒

But god, my heart breaks for lwj and lxc :'(

Little Lan Wangji!!! 🥺🥺🥺

Oh darling ...

Oh no ...

Look at him look at his crooked little headband😭😭😭

He went there every month!!!

Oh Wangji 💔💔

Stubborn, steadfast, loving Wangji!

That seals it. I KNEW why he was my favourite character

He isn't so passive all the time, because he feels too little! He feels entirely too much!!! 😭😭😭

And that explains why lwj was so worried about wwx's demonic cultivation harming him!!! 😭

Oh god, it was such an old hurt for him. I had no idea 🥺🥺🥺

All of these characters need a therapist

Lxc playing the flute to what ... deal with his emotions? Express his grieve? Remeber their mother? (And god, do I want to know more about her!!) Either way, It's making me tear up 😥

"It's so difficult to determine others personalities depending on our perspective." Welcome to the human condition, my friend 💙

And that's love

I ... wish I could show you my face right now

I'm smiling through tears right now

It's so utterly beautiful

He looks so vulnerable here! With his hair (almost) down

And given what we've just learned, that's remarkable!!!

He closed himself off became the immovable stone-faced second Jade of Lan and yet, somehow, wwx wormed his way into his heart and sure, both of them needed to overcome a lot, but here they are, vulnerable and open,not letting their parent's fate decide theirs

I'm... *sniff*

I can never get enough of lwj with his hair like this!!

It's so domestic, so soft

And look at his face! 😭

And mister "alcohol is prohibited" is now serving it 😭

Oh my god this scene is so beautiful

I'm speechless

Was the second flute Jin Guangyao as well?

At this point I'm just expecting more plot-twists

He looks so young! 🥺

Both of them are exhibiting so much growth in this episode!! Wwx realising that the fact that the cultivation world had always looked for a scapegoat and that he himself was just the most convenient target, that it's not to any personal failing of his, that's HUGE!

And I'm so proud of him :')

Lwj starting to play in the distance :')

This is so utterly peaceful

My heart is bursting 😭😭😭

The music, the scenery ...

Also, both thinking they have a clean conscious!!! 😭😭😭

Again, it's them holding the same morals that's important! I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

(But wwx still cannot drink like a normal person :D)

The contrast to lxc sitting alone couldn't be starker 😔

Wait, why are there puppets at burial mounds again?

Are we going back to burial mounds? I'm weirdly excited 😅

Aaand Jin Guangyao just proved to them that he's lying. Poor Xichen

Yup, I'm pretty sure his heart just snapped in half

Little Apple!!! I've missed him 😁

Gosh, they're laying it on thick with the domestic husband bliss this episode and I'm here for it.

I love lwj's soft smile when he looks at bunnies so much!! 🥰

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere

It's the invasion of the bunnies

Who ever is the show runner *banging pots and pans together* IT'S GAY!! cab you all hear me? These two love each other! It's G - A - Y!!! Gay!!!

Probably

Lwj's shocked look when wwx says that he's not popular with little animals, as if to say "how dare they!" :D

Holy shit ... HOW MANY SCENES CAN THEY INCLUDE IN THIS EPISODE THAT MAKE THEM LOOK SO GODDAMN MARRIED???

Is wwx sitting side saddle?

Wwx plays wangxian :')

He finally remembers how lwj recognized him :')

Sneaky, show, very sneaky :D

Wwx about to casually steal some melons, lwj *wordlessly takes out money* ^^

MIANMIAN!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

I'd given up hope that we'd see her again!!!

I'm so happy I could burst!!!

Lwj's little exasperated head-shake before he stands up from crouching behind some hay 😂

Aww, look at her family! 😍😍😍

She build her own live :')

And look at this badass woman protecting the ones she loves!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WEI WUXIAN??? You don't remember her???

You better remember my wife!!!

Aaand another freeze frame. But I'm willing to forgive it because THIS EPISODE WAS SO GODDAMN BRILLIANT!

It made me realise why I was so drawn to lan Wangji as a character. Of course he is mu favourite character! He ticks every single box

Let me explain. My favourite characters almost always share the following characteristics: seems either cold and distant or ethereal and aloof, as if they are above such puny human things like feelings™️(bonus if they're actually not human and their argument is "I'm [insert species]. We can't feel [insert emotion they are definetly feeling very strongly]"). then, over the course of the story, we (along with they themselves because they were in denial) discover that it's not that they feel too little, they feel entirely too much. They're a sea of emotions so deep that the surface is calm, but don't you dare be near them when the storm is coming because all hell will break loose. (extra bonus point if that storm involves them rebelling against the oppressive society they were born into and adhered to until then because they realise their consciousness won't allow it any longer.) afterwards they realise that making themselves vulnerable once in a while is actually a good thing and they proceed to fuck the Rebel™️ who they've secretly been in love with the entire time, a feeling they only now allow themselves to act on

The last part sadly isn't always canon, but who has ever had time for that?

You know what this episode made me realise most of all? The Lan sect are just as human as the rest of them. In fact, they seem to be especially prone to acting rashly on strong emotions. (I don't remember the exact story, but didn't the founder of the Lan sect also have some kind of tragic love story?) It should be obvious, but the impression you get is that they are so detached from their wants, so rigorous and disciplined in their righteousness, that they are almost super-human. But no. Thise 3000 and some rules? They weren't born out of some enlightened mind that had the secret of live figures out, they're a crutch. Abiding by them without question rids one of responsibility to make even the tiniest moral choice for oneself. But that won't work because a) they're bounty to contradict each other at some point and b) that's not how human beings work. They're messy and unpredictable and beautifully complicated. The way Lan Qiren choses to apply them, he completely disregards that. At that point, the rules aren't there anymore to grant a harmonious society, but simply for their own sake. (Or maybe as a wall to hide behind)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

I think this liveblog has been the longest so far. I'm sorry for going on so many tangents, but lwj's backstory hit me really hard. I hope you guys weren't too bored 💚

(I also apologise for the mountains of typos that probably accumulated in this post. I'm too tired to check.)

[migleefulmoments]

Cassie: "Nonnie, I do get where you're coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won't always be this way." If your bf is choosing to live a fake life and expects you to just go along with it for X number of years, he is not worth it. I don't care if he is Darren Criss or any other attractive famous man, no person on Earth is worth the heartache that ccChris has probably been through whilst watching his "hubby" constantly choose fame over him.

Cassie’s answer really blew me away. She’s has chugged down all of Abby’s Kool-Aid and she’s fully buying into Abby’s juvenile ideas about relationships, sacrificing for love, and the power of love. THE 5 have clearly read Twilight one too many times! Everything they know about love, they learned from Bella and Edward who taught them with the idea that love is all-consuming, that there is no sacrifice that is too much as long as he loves you, and that in the end, happily ever will save the day. 

You’re right, there are a lot of scenarios where love is not enough and you have to walk away for your own mental or emotional well being. Sometimes it is an abusive partner making bad ccchoices and sometimes it is a wonderful partner whose future no longer looks like yours. One of my favorite Youtubers just announced she split with her husband 2 years ago and kept it a secret- even wearing her rings in the first half of this video! They broke up simply because they reached a point where they realized there was a fundamental difference in what they each wanted in life and the relationship couldn’t go forward (she wouldn’t say what that was). My husband’s cousin got divorced after her husband realized he wanted to be a dad and she wasn’t interested in children. Another YouTuber I watch called off their engagement after they realized she wanted a picket fence on a cul-de-sac and he wanted to a cave in the middle of nowhere (he was dead serious).  Their goals were incompatible and asking one to compromise wasn’t fair or healthy. ccDarren chose fame over ccChris and their relationship. ccDarren is unwilling to risk his position in Hollywood in order to openly love ccChris. He is so caught up in being THE actor, musician, and executive producer Darren Criss, that he married a woman he despises and spends all his time with her. She enjoys the lifestyle his fame has provided for him while ccChris has to hide in the rafters and scurry around ccDarren’s life completely unseen. ccDarren is incapable -or unwilling -to rid himself of his toxic team whose main goal is to “ccruin him” and by extension, ccChris. I don’t believe that the same man who gave this interview would choose to stay in a relationship where his feelings and needs always come second to ccDarren’s career.  Spending 1:00 am-7:00 am spooning the night away is hardly compensation for having to keep their relationship hidden and standing by while his lover lives his life with another person. Scurring in the dark and in disguise certainly isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive and healthy for 10 years.

(My comments are in italics below)

************************************************************************************************ 

Anonymous asked: I love Cc, but I just can’t imagine C agreeing with all this and if he did, my heart still hurts for him.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re more than entitled to your opinion. I, respectfully, disagree. C is not a victim in all of this. He made a conscious and willing decision to stand with D. He’s just as culpable in all of this as D is and he’s tried to show that on more than one occasion. I’m not heartbroken for C and I don’t think he would want us to be. At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about. Many people perceive C as being the more fragile of the two, and I think that’s a grave mistake. C’s the glue that holds them together. He’s always had to fend for himself and the world wasn’t always kind to him. D grew up in this seemingly perfect little world where he trusted everyone and thought people were mostly good and that’s part of why he’s in this situation. (Cassie et. al believe that love makes it all ok and that ccChris chose to stay so making him as culpable as ccDarren. It’s an interesting theory- basically, she’s saying that anyone who is an abusive relationship is culpable for the abuse because they chose to stay in the relationship. This is a dangerous and harmful belief because it ignores all of the barriers that keep people in abusive relationships- lack of money, lack of a safe place to go, fearing for their lives if they leave, low self-esteem from the abuse-to name just a few. I realize that Cassie is just turning ccChris staying in an abusive relationship into ccconfirmation bias, but she’s speaking to a lot of young people who don’t understand that and are learning that they should always stay because love makes everything ok.  “At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about.” Besides the fact that that kind of love exists in fanfiction and Twilight, I am gobsmacked that a middle-aged adult would imagine she knows this about Chris Colfer’s love life. The most Chris has ever said about his love life is to say tell a young fan that his dedication was to his boyfriend, to acknowledge to Andy Cohen that he had a boyfriend, and to acknowledge to Sandra Bernhart that Will was his boyfriend. Oh, and he said several times that he was not in a relationship with Darren. To believe he has a “love that most people only dream about” she would have to fabricate every detail single details she thinks she knows.  That is not the behavior of a healthy adult.   Big strong ccChris who went through hell and came out so strong that nothing touches him now. He’s the “glue that holds them together” and the “Captain of the ship” even though he’s literally being ignored while ccDarren lives a very full life with Mia by his side. Poor widdle, innocent ccDarren who grew up wealthy and since wealthy people live perfect lives and everyone around them is kind, he never learned who to trust. Gag)  

flowersintheattic254 You only have to watch the impact theory interview to see what drives C. C is strong and he stands up for those who are marginalized. C is tough and stronger than people give home credit for and he’s loyal too. (See the video and my transcript below. Notice that Chris never mentions his love life in any of the statements that Flowers believes are 100% about his relationships) 

notes-from-nowhere:

I agree with @flowersintheattic254. This is such a good interview

Anonymous asked: I guess it makes sense that C’s the rock. I guess it’s just me thinking that since C’s out and proud, he deserves the same from his partner. But as you said, D was too trusting and I guess C is his strength, keeping him from giving up on everything shitty he’s going through. (Such a good little minion, repeating everything she’s groomed to believe) 

Cassie: Nonnie, I do get where you’re coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won’t always be this way.

**************************************************

I listened to Chris’s interview and he was asked about ambition:

Chris: ... I was really good at playing that character (Kurt).  People really do think I was playing myself and although we were experiencing very very similar things, I was very different from that character.  I was much more cynical than that character.

Tom: In fact, I am glad you brought that up. I heard in an interview someone asked you if you were a character in Game of Thrones and you said ‘I want to say that I would be the Mother of Dragons but I think I am actually Cersei’. 

Chris: I‘m sorry but she is a woman who knows what she wants and she goes out and she gets it. Her methods-her strategy- is a little questionable but I just love any woman with a drive. I remember when I was in my senior year of high school I was chosen to put on my own show. It’s called the senior show.  Every year one senior in the drama class got selected to basically put on whatever they want and usually they would put on an SNL-type variety sketch kind of show, but I was like “Nope I’m writing a musical” and I gender-reversed Sweeny Todd and called it Shirley Todd so I could be Mrs. Lovett so I was Mr. Lovett.  Because we were all seniors, no one wanted to do it and I ended up blackmailing all of them to be in it.  It was a great show. 

Tom: Walk me through how that drive and ambition has manifested in your life. Is that something you value in yourself? Is that something that you’re skeptical of in yourself because when you answer that question- and I fully understand that was a little tongue-in-cheek, but when you say “I fear that I’m actually Cersei” is there part of you that is very cognizant that there is a line that you can cross with drive and ambition or...

Chris: Oh I think so, I think that ambition is so much a part of who I am-maybe to a fault- but I’ve never got to the point where I was so ambitions that I was causing harm. I think growing up, ambition and hope and goals and dreams was literally all that I had. My family didn’t have money and I wasn’t good looking and I wasn’t athletic, I could act and I could sing, I could write but there aren’t many areas for you to do that when you are a young person- at least when I was a young person they weren’t. So I think my ambition sort of just became my imaginary friend. It was a survival tool, it wasn’t narcissism, it was survival. 

Tom: In that, I can be somewhere else, I can be bigger than this, I can go places was that the sort of your savor mechanism?

Chris: Yeah, I think it was  Making a treasure map to a life that was better than what the life I was in currently. That is what it was for me.  Hence, why I also identify so much with fantasy and superheroes and Greek mythology and literature it was all part of ...yeah, I always use fictitious people as my examples of getting somewhere.

---------

Chris: To go back to what you said about bullying, I’m in a weird place right now because I played a bullied kid on national television, you know for 20 million people a week watched me get pushed into lockers and thrown on floors and called “a faggot” called “queer”... all these negative things and I experienced all that myself in real life.  I really let people know that was one of the reasons why people connected to my performance because it was coming from such a real place and I let people know i was bullied horribly when I was a kid. I was bullied so horribly in middle school that my mom pulled me out of school and homeschooled me because the harassment got so severe.  But I’m at his weird place right now that I feel like I’m so not a victim anymore ...that I kind of- maybe it’s my ego- I don’t know, but I get tired of being associated with someone who is bullied because I don’t allow that to happen anymore. At all! I’m proud of where I’m at now because the minute I see someone who tries to take advantage of me or isn’t kind... I have the option to walk away now- which I didn't when I was a kid. But I feel like I have to stop talking about it because I’ve told millions and millions of kids around the world that it is something you get to leave behind.  Because of my circumstances, I don’t get to leave it behind because I’m always asked about it and it’s a good thing to talk about because it’s still going on but as a certain point, I feel like I’m doing the kids who look up to me a disservice when I keep talking about it becuase it does-maybe for them-  seem like it doesn’t leave me. Does that make sense?

Tom: If this was the last words that you speak on the subject of being bullied what would you say that was your process to close that chapter.. to feel good about yourself.  I’m definitely putting words in your mouth, being born in some way where that is not who you are anymore? 

Chris: It is really about just knowing that you get to move on from it. That is the thing... adolescence is the toughest time in your life because you have no freedom but you have all this responsibility. You are expected to make adult decision but you don’t get the benefits of being an adult and you’re literally trapped in an environment- high school- unless you are homeschooled. You have no control of who you are around and probably the lesson or the bridge that I crossed in my life that has given me the most relief is knowing that I don’t have to be in any environment that I do not want to be in. I think that would be the message that I would give to kids who are being bullied. But also the world is full of assholes. Bullies, they do go away at a certain point, but there will always be people in your life that you don’t like, that are mean and rude and when you do go through a period of harassment- especially when you are young- you do learn how to overcome that and how to maybe have inner peace but you can’t ever control the world around you but you do learn a lot of good communications skills. I think. 

Chris makes it very clear that he is NOT Kurt

Chris identifies with a character who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it. That is very different from ccChris who is sitting back and accepting that he is not a priority for 10 years and counting. 

Ambition and drive are very important to Chris- ccChris is allowing Darren to drive the relationship.  Darren is getting everything he wants while Chris continues to make all of the sacrifices.  

Chris is adamant that he will not be bullied every again and that he will wake away from anyone taking advantage of him. The cc fandom heard this and saw it as confirmation bias because he is still in a ccrelationship with ccDarren aka he doesn’t see the relationship as being abusive or that he’s being taken advantage of therefore ccChris just confirmed CrissCofler is real and that ccChris is in control. 

The final paragraph is once again confirmation bias- Chris no longer has to be in an environment he doesn’t want to be in- hence he’s happy with ccDarren. By saying that people are still assholes, he confirmed that Ryan Murphy, Mia and Darren’s team are all assholes but he’s in control now and it doesn’t let them ruin his life..