#but you know that scene at the beginning of 5x03

[adhd-merlin]

the nerds in the notes are my friends

I think one could totally write a lil' essay about misogyny and witchcraft in bbc merlin. if one were so inclined

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Ok so we get this

and this

And I proceed to spiral about colour theory and costume theory and end up writing and expansion to this post I made about Buck in yellow ochre!!! Sorry y'all, you know what that means - my unhinged colour theory and costume meta's are Back!!!

Lets start by revisiting all of Bucks previous yellow ochre wearing shenanigans!

3x06 the yellow ochre sweater he wears when he gets sent home by Bobby - this does after we see Buck and Eddie making up with each other - a moment when we see Buck learning more about himself and growing (read becoming less self-centred and understanding the concept of being part of a team and recognising that he needs to be better about stepping in with Eddie!)

4x02 - Yellow ochre jumper - first in a video chat with Maddie, Chim and Albert, but then more importantly, when he is in his therapy session with dr Copeland - the whole ‘I hide my true feelings from others’ moment - yet another moment of Buck recognising something about himself. I think this is the most key scene in Bucks yellow ochre wearing - more on that in a bit.

4x03 Bucks yellow ochre t-shirt - a t-shirt that matches the shade of the jumper from above, and a moment when Buck confesses to Maddie that he’s in therapy - about being sad and lonely and wanting to be ‘finer’ 

4x04 - the yellow knit sweater from 3x06 is back (yes it is the same sweater) and this is when Buck has his entire life upended and he finds out about Daniel (kicking us into Buck begins)

4x11 - Buck talks to Maddie and Josh about Sue’s hit and run, then talks to Taylor about Sue. This one is a much brighter yellow than the ochres we’ve seen up to now, but I’m including it because I think its relevant to Bucks arc here (also because it connects into the next time we see Buck wearing yellow - the will scene) the concept of being hit with information that leads to Bucks growth and the nature of most hit and runs not being solved, the perpetrator never being caught and therefore not getting closure on something (this is super relevant I promise!)

Then we have 4x14 and two yellow ochre tops - the first is the sweater, this one is trending more towards orange brown, but its still in the ochre wheelhouse! this oe is all about communication - mostly at Buck - Taylor telling him how stupid he was for climbing the crane, receiving a phonemail from Ana to tell him Eddie is awake, facilitating communication between Eddie and Chris and then Buck communication himself - thinking it would’ve been better if he had been shot. Directly communicating to the audience (as much as Eddie) the inner monologue of Bucks own opinion of the point of his existence.

Then we get the beloved will scene and Buck wearing a yellow ochre shirt, still lighter than the other yellow ochre we’d seen up to this point, with the exception of the previous one which is brighter still. again this is mostly about people communicating at Buck rather than him being the communicator - much like with the previous Jumper. It somewhat plays into the concept of Buck being a passive part of his life rather than actively living it - Kinda hard to explain at this point without the context of the costumes from s5&6. I also want to point out Taylor is in that dark green again here - in the scene when Buck opens the door to the Diaz house.

5x03 gives us Buck in that same shade of yellow ochre (bear in mind we haven’t seen him in any other colour between the will reveal and this scene (beyond uniform!) and here we have Buck pushing Eddie and communicating without actually giving much of himself away - yes he uses himself as an example, but he doesn’t actually open up about himself all that much (this is important - its not the time for that and it provides space for Buck to continue his internal monologue about his self worth) after this he goes home to his loft and we get him communication to a Taylor who isn’t actually present in the space - a symbolic scene that shows that he gets just as much from her absence as her presence (a play on the idea that Buck can communicate better with her when she isn’t actually present compared with when she is - its a juxtaposition of the scene from earlier when they were in bed together and she didn’t listen to anything he was saying, or his wants/needs)

5x04 a scene at the Buckley-Han apartment where Buck isn’t communicating with Chim - Chim is very much communication with Buck about his despair over Maddie leaving - Buck obviously knows where Maddie is at this point, but he diocesan’t take the opportunity to communicate effectively with Chim. so This is yet another example of Buck failing to communicate, while some one around him is clearly communicating and this scene has the addition of secrecy thrown into the mix.

Then we have 5x14 - this one is a bit less obvious - its the yellow ochre and black plaid jacket - its an outlier in that its not solid yellow ochre, but it is again a scene where we get communication - this time BUck is actually the one to do some communicating, but like pretty much always, we don’t get him pushing too much and we see him continuing to deflect from making things about himself - he’s desperate to talk about the shooting and its impact on him, but Eddie resists and Buck backs off. the check here is a nice addition because it shows the concept of cross purposes, but also there is less yellow than in other outfits - the black seems to be ‘devouring’ the yellow - almost like a play on the idea that this was Bucks one big chance to communicate, but he doesn’t take it.

That is the last time we see Buck wearing yellow ochre until the end of season 6 - 6x15 and his date with Natalia to be precise! we’re back to that same shade of yellow ochre and once again we have Buck communicating - but its very much playing into what Natalia what to hear. I don’t doubt that BUck wants to talk about his death and resurrection, but we don’t actually see the conversation beyond the superficial overtures Buck makes. This plays into the suggestion that its about him trying to impress Natalia rather than actually about what Buck needs or wants to say. Its once again Buck communicating without actually communicating. something Eddie picks up on in the later graveyard scene and tries to provide the space for him to open up - which Buck doesn’t take.

The theme continues with the the next Buck/Natalia date in 6x17 - yellow ochre once again, this time an open shirt - again its that same shade, and we see a continuation of the Buck communicate via deflection technique he employs - this scene, like his previous date with Natalia, is more about her and the writers showing us her hang ups/ insecurities than it is about Bucks - beyond showing us that they aren’t actually all that compatible - its kind of framed in the same way as his previous relationships (especially Taylor) - Buck playing into what he thinks someone wants him to be rather than being who he actually is. 

This concept is something we see in pretty much all of the previous scenes where Buck is wearing Yellow ochre, this desire to be what people need him to be rather than who he actually is. there are a couple of exceptions - the first time we see Buck in yellow ochre is probably the only instance where we see Buck being somewhat honest with himself - there is an element of him playing the role he needs to to win back Eddies friendship, but I think its coming from a genuine place and is born out of a real desire to be better - he really did learn his lesson. The fact that the next time we see the yellow ochre used is in his therapy session scene where he literally states that he hides his true feelings from others is a big giant yellow ochre flag waving around telling us that when we see Buck in yellow ochre he will be playing into that idea - and that’s then how it transpires in every subsequent scene where he is in yellow ochre.

Which brings me to this new still

no one can tell me there isn’t an air of conflict about that scene - the dark cool tone of the image suggests a coolness to the room - that idea of the cold shoulder or the temperature dropping when there is conflict between two people. their body language is also adding to that vibe - Chris turned in on himself, not sat with Buck, the space between them.

Whatever this scene transpires being about, based on what we've seen with Buck wearing yellow ochre, we can assume its going to continue to play into this idea of Buck not being fully truthful with people and fitting into the role he thinks people want him to pay rather than being true to himself.

I do want to add to this theory by looking at Christophers shirt as well. The grey/ yellow combination is a bit reminiscent of Breaking point (the episode that really is the gift that keeps on giving) becasue we get Chris in grey and Eddie in tan - that is yellowish toned whilst not actually being yellow

There isn't a good screenshot of them together, but the placing of Chris and Buck in the new one has echoes of Eddie and Chris in that scene (one that is interestingly enough playing into the idea of changing family dynamics, but also the moment before and the one that happens afterwards at Bucks loft, directly placing Buck into a parental role (as an aside the idea of Buck being a miracle worker plays into the theme of Eddie looking for magic, just saying!))

Anyone want to play a game of whose shirt does this look like??!!!

Oh you do! well what if I leave these two pictures just here...

yes, yes that is a Chris sized version of that shirt - you know the one Buck was wearing when he and Taylor talked about complicated family dynamics and about telling 'other peoples stories because I hate telling my own' you know that scene about playing a part and not being yourself around people you're supposedly close to! Yes That scene - or how about the scene which happens to be the last time we saw Buck in Chris's bedroom, where Buck talks to Eddie about complicated family dynamics, about needing to have the right outfit on for the occasion, the scene where they talk about retirement, oil and Buck is playing with a dinosaur! yeah see where I'm going with this! Chris wearing a grey shirt that similar to Bucks is Paralleling those scenes - so playing into the idea of history or of thing being outdated and needing to change, of dressing for the occasion (an allegory for playing a role - to fit in to whatever environment you're in rather than being your true self) and most importantly of complicated family dynamics - suggesting that there may have been some change in the dyamics - perhaps this will play into the will (also colour paralleling the will scene as Buck is in yellow ochre and the breaking point scene with Eddie in a yellowish colour and Chris in grey) and perhaps Chris discovering Buck would be his guardian in the event Eddie isn't around. I mean we'll have to wait and see for the actual context, but I will eat my hat if the season 7 scene isn't playing into Buckley-Diaz family dynamics in some way!

Back to this still

I keep flip flopping on if its Buck or Bobby, but right now the lack of grey hair is making me lean towards it being Buck.

This is a still of the back of Bucks head from his coma dream for comparison (blurry as hell as he's not in focus but it looks enought like the same shape of hairline and of Olivers ear for me to feel like its more Buck than Bobby!

I think the shirt is what is throwing me off though because its just so not a typical Buck shirt (excepting coma dream Bucks!).

I've gone back through my notes and I just can't find any examples of Buck wearing this kind of patterning or shirt before, the closest we get is that hideous shirt he is wearing at the hospital after Kameron has given birth

The only thing I can do is scream into the void about check theory because check does't bode well for people - they always end up in the middle of the drama (see my check theory posts linked on my pinned post for more) and while they come out the other side (99% of the time) Buck in check for that scene in 6x18 pretty much doomed his relationship with Natalia (its specific to her and not C&K's baby as Buck wasn't wearing it when he delivered it!) and as that shirt in the still is very un Buck like, has not only yellow ochre in it, but also its a white base (and we all know buck in white is a bad sign!!) and its check patterned - my theory is that this scene is connected to Natalia in some way - either Buck is not being true to him self in more than one way - that things are going to/have come to a head for their relationship (my kingdom for a reverse of Buck to Eddie about Ana in 5x03!!!) and lead to a pretty big change in some way (fingers crossed for Buck to end it and then finally break down and deal with his trauma!!!)

Some other things about that shirt - I've brightened it up in the picture below - the colour combination - the green blue and yellow ochre are giving me call backs to coma Buck (another reason I think it might be connected to Bucks unresolved trauma around his death and Eddies absense in his dream)

Then there is the burgundy stripe in combination with Eddies hand placement and the fact Eddie is wearing a denim shirt - its very Tsunami call back (even the white plays into this as well as Buck was in white when he saved Chris) -

I'm quite probably clowning hard at this point, but the fact we've got Eddie in denim again (not something he wears all that often) in a scene where he puts his hand on Bucks shoulder in that way and with his Christopher watch so very prominent - we'll I might be feeling a certain way about it.

It would make sense to play into that story arc - after all - the opening of season 7 is very much centred around a big water based disaster - its got to bring up a few things for the two of them. If it is related, Eddies Denim being darker at this point would be a nice play on things - the idea that there is more deepness - more depth to his relationship with Buck than there was in early season 3 (it even calls back to flash back Eddie in 3x16 - he is wearing dark denim when him and Shannon fight and Chris wakes up)

Ok thats enough rambling from me! Hopefully i have made a tiny bit of sense! of to go back to screaming in the void now!!

tagging a few people who might be interested! @extasiswings @copyninjabuckley @oneawkwardcookie @spotsandsocks @mandzuking17 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @theladyyavilee @mistmarauder

[jackexmachina]

@suncaptor's Birthday Event Sam & Lucifer // Sam & Dean You know I'd never hurt you. Not really.

image description: scene comparisons between "The Benders," "Simon Said," "Free to Be You and Me," "Sam, Interrupted," "Swan Song," "Hello, Cruel World," "The Born-Again Identity," "Citizen Fang," "I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here," and "Let the Good Times Roll"

1x15: Sam is trapped behind iron bars, and Dean tells him, “Must be getting a little rusty there, kiddo.”

5x22: While possessing Sam, Lucifer looks into the mirror to tell him, “You got me all wrong, kiddo.”

7x02: Dean looks at Sam and says, “Oh, you think I’m Dean. Right.” He grins and then the hallucination changes, morphing into Lucifer. 

9x01: In Sam’s mind, Death watches as Dean puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder, saying, “Come on.” Then he begins to glow with light, and Sam looks confused as his face morphs into that of Gadreel’s vessel.

5x11: A psychologist opens Dean’s file, and says, “You’re my paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis.” Dean looks rattled listening to this diagnosis.

7x17: Sam is on his bed at a hospital, and the hallucination of Lucifer sits behind him reading from a large book, saying, “Narcissistic personality disorder. Okay, now, this one I could have.”

5x03: Dreaming, Sam turns over in bed and jolts, surprised to see Jessica. She smiles at him and says, “Hey, baby. I missed you.” 

8x09: Sam sits in a bar and takes out his phone, considering the text message he believed was sent by Amelia. The text reads: [Sam, I need your help. Come quick]

2x05: Dean glances at Sam and away while driving the Impala. He slaps a hand on Sam’s leg and offers a weak smile, saying, “You’ve always been a freak.”

13x23: Lucifer tries to avoid bringing Maggie back to life at Jack’s request, saying, “Right, well, Sam’s always been… sorta different.” He smirks.

[raayllum]

Few things, to begin (and we're rounding back to the "I turned some chains into snakes, don't worry)

The line that put the "Callum did dark magic to save the dragon and Rayla" to dust at long last (seriously - was Callum drawing the dragon in his sketchbook before resolving to leave? No) thank you very much.

And ofc it's setting up the turn later on in this episode, paralleling Soren, Terry, and Viren's (and even Rayla's in a way) word choices justifying the actions they likewise felt tormented over ("I have to do this. I don't want to, but I have to" in 1x02; "I had to" in 3x09; "I had to, I couldn't let him hurt you" in 4x03; "I had to so something, I had to save him!" in 5x03) etc.

Speaking of Viren in S5, this scene mirrors Kpp'Ar and Viren's encounter, with Kpp'Ar rebutting Viren's more noble motivations: "I have always done what protects my family." "No choice? Hah! You made the choice you always have: the one that gives you power." Here, Finnegrin takes a word that Rayla has used to describe Callum (3x01) and twists it accordingly. Yes, Callum wanted to save his friends, but he only did the dark magic for a good reason, but he's still the kind of person who will read dark magic books in the first place and seek out magic as a solution at all. He's still a mage, per Zubeia and Rayal's assessment: "Aaravos chose as his instruments people who had strong hearts and strong minds, but who had an insatiable thirst and fascination with magic." "Mages." "Yes, mages were his prey."

Unlike Lujanne, who is a master Moon mage, Callum doesn't consider dark magic to be an abomination - just another kind of magic, one that's worthy of study to him like all the rest. Curiosity is what paves the walkway, and Love is what makes him walk

Finnegrin here is also a stand in for Rayla in a way, vaguely reminiscent of their first meeting in 1x02. "I'm looking for someone [...] There are only two targets tonight" -> "I just want one thing... Well then maybe you found what I'm looking for." They're both even interrogating him and 'want' someone dead (legitimate in Finnegrin's case, maybe more diluted in Rayla's)! While I know most of us were like Callum why the fuck are you telling him anything, Callum trying to find some sort of common ground actually makes a lot of sense when the last time he talked a ne'er do well elf out of violence, it actually worked out

"Can't you just make peace with them?" "It's not that simple." (1x02 with Harrow) "But it's not that simple. It won't work." (Ezran in 4x03) "But it's not that simple." (Janai in 4x08)

Last but not least, you have the fact that both Claudia and Viren's steps are dogging Callum's path (in addition to the continuing fallout of what, is ultimately, always his decision), dealing with the consequences of all their actions. Claudia told Callum not to do dark magic in 2x07, bu he went through with it anyway, insisting that she'd already shown him how - just as she created chains to attack her friends, he unbound chains to save them. And of course, Finnegrin is only seeking this spell because he knows it can be done, even if he has no idea of the personal history Callum has to both the spell (done to avenge his mother by his father) and to the actual orchestrator of it (his predecessor and primary foil).

And last but not least, you have Finnegrin and Callum's primary parallel (Ocean spell notwithstanding) in which they both seek to kill someone ultimately to be free: for Callum, he was researching how to kill a powerful Startouch elf, and Finnegrin, well...

[kmze]

Thoughts on 5x01 - 5x11 again SO MUCH FUN watching this half season. Does the plot make sense? Not really. Was it a compelling storyline? Not so much. Did I laugh a lot? YOU BETCHA! The thing with this season (at least this half) is you cannot take it seriously, it is the most this show has ever been "meta" because this was just episode after episode of laughing at the Triangle of Doom. I would say DE got it the worse but even SE got hits against it too. Stefan was mocked by having amnesia Stefan point out all his worst qualities. Damon was mocked relentlessly via his insecurity. Elena was mocked by being the flip flopper that she is. It was beautiful. Silas and Tessa were great as scorned lovers/enemies and I truly enjoyed the doppelgänger shenanigans. Amnesia Stefan you will always be famous! Of course there's bad stuff, like Bonnie's storyline and Jesse's treatment and sadly that's not surprising because Dries (racist) was in charge. I touch on all of this below!

5x01

LMFAO at Elena’s little shimmy

Damon is such a moron that is obviously not Stefan, when would Stefan ever say “Chateau Salvatore” thank god Jeremy could tell. Katherine too like when has Stefan EVER blatantly flirted with her like that, but Katherine was just thinking with her downstairs brain I understand.

Poor Caroline, but at least Jesse is smoking hot.

Random observation: last season the beginning of the season did not look like it was filmed in the summer like every other season and I've always kind of wondered why that is. I think I read somewhere that they continued filming the beginning of S4 when S3 ended and that's why you never get the summer attire in S4 like we do here again in S5.

5x02

Elena coughing up blood/water after kissing Stefan keeps happening and it’s so mean LMFAO

CRYING at the camera angle and lighting of “Stefan” seeing Elena and her getting all googly-eyed at him and then hanging up on Damon. Serves him right for not telling her! Silas causing problems with Delena almost instantly, amazing no notes.

Katherine shooting Silas YAS QUEEN

This scene LMFAO!!! The fact that they made thinking about Stefan be the thing that stops Elena from trying to kill Damon is just a hilariously mean thing to do to Damon!

Caroline’s face seeing Damon and Elena in what looks like some weird sex thing DEAD.

Paul does a good job of differentiating Silas from Ripper Stefan. They’re both evil of course but Silas has more calmness to him and more quips whereas Ripper Stefan is chaotic and mocking.

Lexi changed clothes on the other side so why can’t Bonnie!

5x03

Katherine and Silas are having way too much fun making Damon feel insecure about Stelena and I truly love it!

Stefan saying he didn’t want to turn his humanity off so he could be himself when he murdered Silas. Classic Stefan! Revenge is his biggest motivation in life I swear.

The doppelgänger curse (aka creating shadow selves every 100-ish years because of Silas and Amara) is good mythology, I thought it was a good reason to explain the existence of doppelgängers. But I also think it hurt some of the special-ness that Stelena had because it cheapens the fate part about it (and that’s before we find out it’s a literal spell pulling them together). Tessa saying she watched versions of S&E fall in love over and over the last 2000 years makes it feel like it’s predetermined destiny, which is a weakness against a ship IMO. It actually gives more power to Delena because having a love that conquers destiny is a great trope. I'm not even sure the writers meant to make this hurt SE at first because I don't think they like DE either. I know Dries was the showrunner this season and it's hard to understand what she likes when it comes to the triangle (her fav is Katherine that's all I understand about her). Everyone always thinks it's DE but LOL the person who wrote this season does NOT like DE I assure you. It would make sense she'd think this storyline is strong for SE on paper, but in tone it's not. It's like she cut her nose despite her face.

Delena being described by Tessa "like a soap opera, but boring and with no volume control" best description ever!

Silas saying his doppelgänger's face makes him wanna vomit THEY JUST KEEP GOING!

I like that they almost made you believe Damon was going to leave Stefan there lol, but even Damon isn't that selfish.

This season is just one big kinda mean commentary on the show and I love it LMFAO. I can see why it’s hated because it’s not really an intriguing plot as far as forward movement (I mean Silas' motivation is to die). But I'd be lying if I said the way it’s being used to mock and almost break the fourth wall isn't giving me so much joy. I guess I’d describe it as camp? Like Silas said messy but fun to watch.

5x04

Am!Stefan not remembering Elena’s name and the look on her face ADXSFXGGGKKHK (this episode makes me so incredibly petty)!

Again, Damon worst sober sponsor ever.

I’m sorry but Elena is cracking me up the way she is GLOWING at making Am!Stefan remember when he bumped into her. The way she spreads her fingers over his chest DEAD! Her excitement at molding her Stefan back together with only the pieces she wants... I have never seen her more alive!

"Whenever someone tells me I can’t do something I prove them wrong" her life’s motto!!!

Am!Stefan being like “I need time to process that I let my girlfriend drown” I KNOW RIGHT? It’s so crazy isn’t it you’re just like flabbergasted.

Sometimes this show just hits my narrative and this episode is it baby! Am!Stefan knowing Caroline’s full name (unlike Elena), that she’s his best friend and BLATANTLY flirting with her saying she’s much hotter in person (the way he totally checks her out a few times too) THAT'S THE STUFF. Then you’ve got Caroline being the only one who actually stops the ripper because she reminds Stefan who HE is, not who she is (because just to point out again she didn't have to because he studied her pictures and knew her instantly!!!) Damon and Elena on the other hand keep telling him who they are (which is a bunch of liars) and that’s why Stefan trusts her and not them. Their scene in the crypt is so nice too, it's one of the first times they get a scene like this with the hand holding, the comforting emphasis, and a beautiful shot on the bench. Plus Am!Stefan staring at Caroline's lips *swoon* you can really tell he has a crush on Caroline.

This Bonnie memorial is so infuriating I can't believe this Bonnie is dead for 8(!!!) episodes was a plot.

5x05

This shows racism towards black characters is really disgusting the more you become aware of it. I swear everytime a character is cast that’s going to get tortured or brutally murdered they are always black. Luka, Jonah, Aja, Connor and now Jesse. There’s no way it was a coincidence.

Nina’s physical comedy as human Katherine is just perfect!

The costumes Caroline picked ARE KILLING ME! First having her and Tyler as Bonnie and Clyde because they almost ran away together (and perhaps a part of her knows they’re doomed like B&C). Having Damon and Elena as Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn because she hates Damon and thinks he’s so bad for Elena he’ll get her head chopped off LMFAO. And then Stefan as JAMES FRIGGIN' DEAN can’t make this up, I know I keep saying this but amazing, no notes.

CTFU at Am!Stefan TOTALLY IGNORING Tyler when he asks Caroline to dance with him, like even with amnesia he knows he doesn’t fuck with Tyler. Am!Stefan’s face when he twirls her HE IS SO SMITTEN (and so is she if we’re being honest), James Dean daydream look indeed.

EL OH EL Silas trying to get Tessa to admit that she’s still in love with him. Honestly Silas your doppelgänger is way better at this, Stefan would have gotten that confession no sweat.

Poor Forwood but honestly I do think this makes sense and neither of them is really wrong, they are both acting like themselves. It makes sense Tyler can't just let Klaus walk away after what he did, and he especially can't deal with Klaus giving him permission to be with Caroline. Caroline on the other hand wants to move forward with her life and as far as she's concerned Klaus is out of sight out of mind. Caroline's also not a big revenge person, I don't think she's ever cared enough to enact revenge on someone (with humanity of course).

Amnesia or not Stefan will always be smarter than Damon.

5x06

For my own sanity I’m not even gonna pay attention to scenes talking about the cure and how it works because I’m STILL not over that bullshit in S8.

Silas again being the audience surrogate and pointing out how SUPER WEIRD it is that Defan keep falling in love with THE SAME FACE!

KATHOLINE TEAM-UP!! You know Caroline enjoyed slamming her against the wall after Katherine used her as her lackey in S2.

Crazy bitch kinda is Stefan’s type ASASCDHGHKKHH

God I love the Katholine team-up.

KATHERINE’S CHURCH HAIR!! I’m not even kidding I have tears in my eyes. This is the BEST! Omg Aaron is so much more smitten with Katherine than Elena, but like she’s absolutely adorable how could you not be!

Am!Stefan being like "I didn't think you deserved to be killed" translating to "I will always protect you Elena, memories or not" is an impressive delulu journey Elena has decided to take. She was acting like he was dead because he wanted to talk to Caroline and not her! Elena he has amnesia, he doesn't have the script anymore for the persona he's supposed to be performing.

Tessa was trying to do God’s work too getting Stefan to let go of Damon but he never learns!

5x07

Elena get out of your ex-boyfriend's bedroom JFC she’s so desperate.

Tessa kinda the best vindictive bitch ever! Janina Gavankar is also a beautiful and stunning woman who is just a pleasure to look at. But why was she so cold to Bonnie? Dries again I'm sure...

THANK GOD BONNIE IS ALIVE AGAIN!

Elena's thought process about this speech she gives Stefan is something else... I just don't know what kind of delusional narcissist you have to be to think this was a good way to ask if someone is okay. Stefan absolutely looks done with her too lol. This is the season where Stefan's facade from the earlier season really starts to come down. He doesn't want to be the person in his journals anymore.

5x08

FINALLY THAT HIDEOUS WIG IS GONE!

Oh look! Stefan not telling anyone he needs help, something new and different for him! /sarcasm

Matty Blue-Blue might be my favorite nickname ever used on this show and there’s a lot so that’s saying something!

I love how much Caroline embraced being a teacher for baby vamps! Makes her endgame even better!

Caroline is right why couldn’t Elena just snap his neck or just not stab him in the heart stab his back shoulder.

One thing about Stefan he has never seen a crazy bitch in danger that he didn’t want to save. I do really enjoy Steferine with human Katherine because it gave all the power to Stefan since she can’t physically hurt him anymore. It’s kind of like the scene in the series finale where Caroline comforts human Damon because he can’t hurt her anymore and she doesn't need to be afraid.

They really had to interrupt Bonnie’s first SEX SCENE EVER IN 5 FUCKING YEARS so she could scream in agony because the show killed another black character. Dries you will never see heaven!

Gee I don’t know Elena when is someone supposed to get over the fact that they were abused and raped by your fucking boyfriend. And you laughed about it with him! Never? I’m gonna go with never. And yes I realize it’s a bit hypocritical to enjoy Steferine and hate Daroline when they both have the same consent and rape issues. I fully admit Katherine is a rapist too. Stefan might be over it, Caroline is not and that's what matters to me.

5x09

I like that Katherine knew to ask Caroline for help knowing the other morons would be no good.

I know the answer is “plot reasons” but how did Damon not immediately recognize Whitmore when Elena started going to college there or even last year when he visited it?

Enzo… yeah *falls asleep*

Not to defend Stefan because I still think he’s an idiot for not seeing that Caroline had feelings for him. But he hears this whole conversation Caroline and Katherine are having where Katherine asks if they’ve slept together and Caroline is appalled like no absolutely not we are friends and I’m just saying! It makes sense why he never thought she did with scenes like this. Mostly because Stefan compartmentalizes people but that’s a topic for later this season. Katherine though bless her heart is not blind and can obviously tell these two feel a tingle for each other.

Not sure how intentional this was but I like the parallel back to the scene in 5x07 where Stefan said when the safe opened he wanted Damon and Elena to be the ones he saw. And now that he went back into the safe to get over his PTSD from that (and their betrayal) the person he sees when the safe opens up is Caroline.

5x10

Katherine’s exhilaration at sleeping with Stefan CTFU I can’t help it, she’s too much!

I love how little Elena is wearing essential what S1/2 Elena used to wear.

Feels like they just implied Grayson was testing if vampire blood could cure cancer. Would have been good to check on that next season folks!

Stefan starting off on the wrong foot with Enzo already LMFAO

Anytime they try and make Matt more relevant to a plot I instantly zone out from that plot. Case in point, I have no idea what is going on with the passengers and travelers and all I really know about Nadia is she’s Katherine’s daughter.

OMG Elena torched her Dad’s experiments! Important information what are you doing!?! I guess that’s why they don’t check next season.

5x11

Caroline throwing a breakup breakfast because Delena broke up is why she is my favorite character ever!

Stefan is so sanctimonious lol.

I like how they reminded me how awful Klaus is with the Katherine flashback before he has sex with Caroline. This show.

OMG Damon is insufferable! First his list of evil things Katherine did are all things HE did and now he's just torturing her because he's mad he broke up with Elena??? Can we just put him in the '94 prison world now I need him gone.

Stefan really switched from heartbroken to team Delena in like 3 episodes lol. I get it was the PTSD and we gotta speed stuff up but it did not take long. Another moment of "what are people talking about on Reddit" because they are always like "it took Stefan so long to move on from Elena" IT TOOK 3 EPISODES!

It's kind of amazing how many parallels and mirroring storylines Stefan and Caroline get with each other (these gifsets illustrate it well (x) (x)) but I really like how Steferine and Klaroline are used similarly for Stefan and Caroline in their journeys (these gifsets are great (x) (x)) and this season shows that a lot. Klaus and Katherine were both looking for love confessions from Caroline and Stefan respectively and while they sleep with their admirer/abuser they don't give them a love confession in return (because they don't love them). There's even the Klefan and Katholine connection as they are both used as their lackeys (Stefan in S3 and Caroline in S2) but then they also have a kind of understanding with each other. They both show pity for Katherine in this episode and they both felt remorse for betraying Klaus in 4x09. If this had actually been Katherine's death it was similar the Klaroline's ending on TO, with Caroline giving Klaus the date in NOLA and kissing him goodbye. Stefan sleeps with Katherine after she helped him through his PTSD, then he gives her peace with the memory before she dies (he thinks). Too bad the show had to RUIN that!

Look Stefan has his flaws (manipulative, enables Damon, can be a dick, serial killer) but one thing I love about him is he has a willingness to forgive the unforgivable. He didn't have to give Katherine peace after everything she had done but he did. I think it does come from a place of he believes everyone can be saved because he wants to believe he can be saved, but I also think he has a lot of empathy (at least for women).

The Katherine twist was great I will give them that, she's a survivor!

Lines that made me laugh:

Am!Stefan: I think I still need to be drunk to understand this story (REAL I chose edibles instead but YMMV)

Katherine: So are you part of the secret society? You know the "Society" (SHE KILLS ME)

Tyler: You're the hottest serial killer here (LMFAO the levels to this line are what makes me laugh the most)

[mayasdeluca]

I know you had to of already answered but can you point me to a post where you’ve said your fave Marina episodes are?

So I had thought I answered this kind of recently but I literally went through 40 pages of my asks tag and it still wasn't there so I'll just answer it again lol

Season 3: 3x05 for obvious reasons, their first meeting has everything and we get Maya back story as well! 3x07 for the lasagna scene because it's perfection...everything about it just makes you fall in love with them and the chemistry is just 😍🔥 3x11 for all the fun vacation scenes and then the panic attack scene at the end...this is when I personally really started falling for them and got obsessed because we got to see them just be together for a whole storyline in an episode and it was everything. Special shoutout to the makeout scene in Maya's office in 3x14 because 🥵 we deserved more of those while Maya was captain!

Season 4: 4x06-4x07 hands down. These are at the top for me. Seeing Maya being so protective and worried about Carina once she finds out what she's doing with Andrew. Leaving her job and first inspection as captain because she was more worried about her girlfriend's well being...seeing her support Carina through her grief and stand by her side and help her in any way possible. It was all so truly beautiful and well done. Honorable mention to 4x08 because the jealousy scenes with Gabriella were fun and the scene at the end of them discussing it was so important for their relationship and well done. 4x14 is also at the top for obvious reasons. We went through a rollercoaster of emotions through it all but we learned so much about Marina and they learned a lot about each other and then the proposal at the end was beautiful. 4x16 the kitchen scene in this episode is one of my all time favorite scenes for them. Just seeing how happy and excited they were to get married and how at peace and safe they are in each other's arms. It's everything. Of course I wish their wedding was more focused on them but still overall a good episode.

Season 5: Honestly the only episode in full I truly enjoyed in Season 5 was 5x07. I thought it was very well done overall (really hoping Leah is getting an episode in Season 7 because her solo eps are so good) and of course all the Marina scenes were perfect. The 'I want to hold a little you scene' is an all time favorite. Some honorable mentions for scenes regarding Marina is the wedding scene in 5x01, the conversation at the end of 5x03, the beginning scene in 5x05, and the last scene in 5x17 (another all time fave).

Season 6: 6x10 was so good and everything was on point from Maya bringing Carina lasagna (while on shift) to then immediately going over to her hotel once finding out she was sick (again on shift) and then taking care of her while respecting her boundaries and both of them expressing their feelings and of course the forehead kiss 🥰 6x13 solely for "Every time I'm near you I just want to let gravity pull me back to you" and "Carina DeLuca will you go on a date with me?" 6x14 because the beginning of them pretending it was a first date, jealous Maya towards Pam, 'you are my conscience,' and of course their first kiss in forever and 'can i take you out again?' 'Maybe. Call me.' Carina being a menace. 🥵 6x15 is an all time favorite for obvious reasons and the last scene is an all time favorite. The bar scenes were great and the shower scene was too but that conversation afterwards was so needed and the hug and Carina burying her face in Maya's chest 😭 it was everything! Also them cuddling in bed like they were...we need that for longer in Season 7 🤞🏻

[elizacinnamon]

Do you think the show should have had more fall out from barchie cheating? Betty seems to be blamed more than Archie but Veronica just doesn’t seem to care at all and Betty didn’t seem to care that Veronica’s singing what’s supposed to be Betty’s song claiming Archie wrote it about her, Jughead tells Archie it’s all good and their still best friends.

Of course!

Veronica’s original reaction does show her distress but it’s wild we never saw her angry. If I sang a song I thought my bf wrote for me, and then found out it was about my best friend, I would be enraged!!!! You would never hear the end of it. I wish we saw some truly girl boss/revenge moments from Veronica post-cheating but unfortunately she did nothing but crawl back to Archie 😭

Jughead’s reaction is wildly mellow, too. Again, we see him distressed but not angry. Him being so chill and “bffs forever” with Archie, but later blaming Betty and calling her a bitch, is insane and also frankly misogynic.

As for Archie and Betty, I wish we had a scene with them outside Pop’s after Veronica sings Carry the Torch where they would be full of angst and confusion. I also wish they had a talk in 5x03 about their feelings that set up their reunion in the time jump.

On that note: I have always thought it would be an interesting plot change if Betty was the one who went to Archie’s door the night before graduation because she told Jug about the kiss and he blew up at her. She would tell him she knows he probably doesn’t want to see her after everything but she’s lonely and needs her best friend. Then, they end up sleeping together but the. don’t see each other/talk about it until seven years later when their FwB begins 👀

[georgeandersonhateclub]

5x03 for the glee thing

Ana i need to know if you picked this randomly or if you're giving me the Quarterback on purpose dkjfndkjfnv

My favourite song

Seasons of Love really is the best song here, but I also really like If I Die Young (Santana), Fire and Rain (Sam/Artie) and No Surrender (Puck).

My favourite quote

Kurt: "This isn't real. I'm not going home for this. He's going to be there. I'm going to spend my entire life missing him."

My favourite moment

The Beiste/Puck scene is so good, and I love the Beiste/Puck friendship in general.

My least favourite moment

Will fucking Schuester STEALING Finn's jacket???? From Kurt and Santana??? Sir what the absolute fuck????

My favourite character (in that episode)

Big shocker: Kurt. I rewatched Glee at the beginning of the year and forgot how big a part of this episode Kurt is, but I really love that he's kinda the "narrator" and the one guiding us all through grief?? I think it was really nice and I loved it.

[elialys]

Wonder your thoughts on s5 Polivia. I think there are a lot of scenes we missed but the writers basically get the general plot vibes right.

Scenes I love: 5x01 Polivia reconcile 5x02 Olivia doing makeup for Peter 5x03 the talk in the woods 5x05 'I want you to come home' 5x06 Peter looked at Olivia right before his world turns observer's-like 5x07 Scared Olivia 5x08 End 5x09 Beginning and the talk in the woods 5x12 Peter holding Olivia (Can't imagine how miserable he feels) and their physical touch when Olivia comes back from the other side

Some scenes I wish appeared in the show: Etta noticed the weird ring situation and asked Peter about it as she actually didn't know whether her parents were together. Everything that might happen between 5x08 and 5x09. Peter thought of all that Olivia had gone through and especially Etta's birth when waiting for Olivia to wake up. How Peter thought of Olivia in the observer's mode. Olivia reflected on how she and Peter got apart in 2016 between 5x07 and 5x08.

I'll be honest, it's been a hot minute since I actually watched season 5, considering I stopped my 2023 Fringe rewatch after finishing season 4 during the summer. Part of it was me getting super obsessed with The Newsreader, but I also think my subconscious was like, nope, because no matter how much I love season 5, that season is always really hard for me to watch & finish because of how upset I was for literal months when the show ended in 2013 haha

ANYWAY, all that to say I'm going with the thoughts/emotions I had back then and since. I love every single one of those scenes you mentioned and basically wish we had the ones you described, too. Sadly, I think that like so many things in season 5, Peter and Olivia simply suffered from the fact that the writers only had 13 episodes to work with instead of 22--and the whole show suffered from the fact that they clearly had to 'skip' an entire season of content to do the 'Observers Invading' storyline they clearly always planned on doing as a last season, because the show basically got canceled, with a chance to wrap things up.

Many things feel a bit (or a lot) rushed because of that short-season format (including nothing about Olivia's pregnancy, P/O's wedding, Etta's first 3 years of life!!), so I think they did the best they could with the short amount of time they had. If they'd had 22 episodes to do this, I'm sure they would have waited before killing Etta, until at least the mid-season point, maybe giving us flashbacks about the time we missed, and then they would have spent more time fleshing out Peter's descent into grief-driven-madness, and the aftermath of it. More time to explore OLIVIA's grief too! So many people misunderstood her character's reactions back then, which always made me mad because Anna played that grief so subtly (and in a very Olivia way). But I do think Olivia could have had more time in the proverbial spotlight, especially regarding her motherhood, grieving Etta, and her cortexiphan abilities.

[mr-and-mr-diaz]

I just. I just thought about Eddie holding baby Jee-Yun? And singing to her while she clutches at his finger with her tiny meaty baby hand??

Maybe Buck freaked out a little because she was being fussy and wouldn't settle, and its probably nothing but hey, who better to call than Eddie, who conveniently has the day off and cuts off Buck's panicked rambling with a soothing;

"Its okay, Buck. Give me ten minutes, okay? You're doing great. She's probably just restless."

Eddie gets there and sends Buck off to cook dinner or shower or take a nap, scooping Jee-Yun out of her travel crib and making sure she's changed, warm, fed and content. And its been so long since Christopher was this tiny, but holding Jee-Yun makes him think back to that tiny, wriggly little bundle in his arms for the first time, back before it all went to shit.

Eddie pacing slowly around the lower loft, singing quietly, tickling her little chin, grinning when she giggles and gurgles at him. And he can see so much of Maddie and Chimney in her already. She's got Maddie's eyes and Chimney's lopsided grin.

(And for a little crack, maybe Buck catches this scene and is so overwhelmed he just blurts out; "put a baby in me!" And Eddie is like; "... What?" 👁👄👁 Which cues a hilariously awkward but heartfelt confession of feelings on both sides.)

Hey hey! So I like I told you I started this a while ago and then got SEVERE AND DEBILITATING writers block, and it sat waiting for new life. And then 5x03 happened, so Hello, new life! I hope you love it!

With You, My Life, I Will Get Married

Warning: mild spoilers for 9-1-1 season 5 episode 3.

Chimney was out searching for Maddie.

After shifts, on weekends, whenever he had a second, he was either spending time with Jee or out searching for her mom.

In times when he was on the search everyone at the 118 was making time to watch Jee Yun. Mrs. Lee was doing what she could, but couldn't always be available, and when that happened, Jee would spend some time at Bobby and Athena's or by Hen and Karen. And when they had too much going on, or when either of the uncles felt like they weren't getting enough time with their beautiful niece, she would spend time at her Uncle Buck's or Uncle Albert's.

Uncle Buck got lucky this time.

Eight hours in and everything had gone wrong. Buck shoulders were damp with spit-up, baby drool, and snot and all Jee seemed capable of doing was crying, crying, crying.

"I'm so sorry! I don't know what I did wrong, and, and now--just, Jee, please, it's okay, I'm here--!"

She continued to yell and Buck got more and more panicked. "Your Uncle Albert's gonna be here in like 5 minutes, Jee, okay? And then, maybe, maybe he's better with you? And will make you happy, and then--Oh God, what have I done wrong--"

A knocking at the door sent him back on his feet, swaying toward the loft entrance. It opened before he could get there, however, and he stopped where he was, a furious Jee Yun screaming in his ears as Eddie Diaz, not Albert Han, walked in.

"You look like you're having fun." Eddie's eyebrow was raised and his mouth quirked in a teasing smile.

"Eddie...?" Buck's momentary shock was interrupted as Jee let out another wail. "Um, sorry, this isn't the best time at the moment, but Albert--"

"--has a date tonight and sent me as his relief." Eddie reached out and plucked Jee Yun from Buck's arms. "And you have a date with your shower and a few hours' sleep."

"I--no, it's okay, I know you just got off shift--"

"Buck." Eddie shifted Jee to one arm, and the other rested on Buck's chest, over his pattering heartbeat. He met Buck's eyes, his own calm despite the bundle of adorable chaos still screaming bloody murder into his shoulder. "Go shower."

"...Yeah, okay."

***

She truly was one of the cutest babies, even when she was liable to wake up the neighborhood with her noise, Eddie thought with a smile as he re-seated her over one shoulder and began to firmly but gently tap her back.

"Your Tio Eddie is going to assume this is a gas issue, okay, chiquita? Christopher used to have this all the time, and he would scream and cry." Eddie huffed ruefully. "I was useless at it then, but Shannon showed me what to do." He kept tapping at her back. "Good set of lungs means a healthy baby, good job, Jee. Now, let's see if we can't get this gas out of you so you can calm down and you and your Tio Buck can get some sleep, okay?"

Eddie started circling the room, the sun beginning to set as he heard he shower turn on.

"There you go, see? Your Buck is going to get all showered since you drooled all over him, and then you both can get some sleep, how's that sound?"

He was answered with a burp far louder than Jee's small body should be capable of making. Then a sweet gurgling sound as she nestled her chin into his shoulder.

"There, feel better, mi princesa?" Eddie whispered against her soft, downy hair. "When I was small and got upset, and my parents got annoyed with my sulking, they'd send me to Abuela. And she would sit me down on her lap, just like this," he sat down on Buck's couch, and settled Jee Yun against his broad chest, rubbing her small back with a large warm hand. "And she would hug me until I forgot what I was so upset about. All I could think about was the smell of her perfume and how much I wanted to be like her one day.

"Then Pepa would come out and yell at both of us that it's about damn time we came into the house, dinner doesn't make itself." Eddie laughed at the memory. Jee made a small discontented noise and Eddie stood up again, walking toward the kitchen, where he saw the half-formed works of bottle making on the counter. "Shhh, princesa, Tio Eddie's gonna make you a bottle." With Jee over his shoulder, sounding more and more on the edge of hunger-panic, Eddie quickly assembled a bottle then leaned back against the kitchen island and cradled Jee Yun in his arms, pressing the nipple to her mouth, which she accepted gratefully.

"Better, yeah? Where was I...? Oh." Eddie smiled. "Once we were inside, Pepa, Abuela and I would make arroz con leche. Abuella would wash the rice, Pepa would be tutting the whole time about too much sugar, but she would always wink at me and add just a bit more before the cinnamon." Eddie couldn't help the smile that stole over his face as he remembered Abuela's warm kitchen in her El Paso ranch house before she and Pepa relocated to LA. In winter, the windows would fog over from the heat of whatever was on the stove. When she left, a lot of Eddie's heart left with her.

"They used to sing me the song too, you know?" Jee gurgled around her dinner and Eddie smiled again. "Well, I wasn't planning to sing it, but you drive a hard bargain." Eddie's poked Jee's soft cheek with a finger and began to sing.

Arroz con leche se quiere casar con una viudita de la capital, que sepa tejer, que sepa bordar, que ponga la aguja en su campanal.

(English translation: Rice with milk (rice pudding) Wishes to get married With a little widow from the capital. Who knows how to weave (or knit), Who knows how to embroider, Who puts the church steeple in the bell tower.)

***

Eddie was no American Idol contestant, but his voice was soothing and good. Strong. Listening to him sing from his seat on the stairs, Buck almost felt like he was where Jee currently snuggled, right against Eddie's chest, as his bass voice sung the gentle Spanish lyrics, harmonized by the occasional happy noise from Jee Yun.

Yo soy la viudita la hija del rey. Me quiero casar y no sé con quien. Contigo sí, contigo no, Contigo mi vida me casaré yo.

(English translation: I am the widow The daughter of the king, I want to get married and I don’t know with whom. With you, yes. With you, no. With you, my life, I will get married.)

Buck's head knocked lightly against the banister, body relaxing. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just the softest sweatpants he owned with a towel draped over his shoulders to catch water from the mess of wet curls on his head.

Eddie's so hard on himself all the time. I don't get it. He's such a good dad.

Dazedly, Buck's eyes fixed on Eddie's mouth as he repeated the verses again. Then Eddie sighed.

"Afterward Pepa would ask me who I want to marry and Abuela would laugh at me, and I'd always complain--" Jee gurgled again. "Like that, yes. But honestly, it was nice... Even though between you and me, Pepa can't sing very well at all." Eddie's lips quirked again in a smile. "Kind of like your Uncle Buck."

Buck startled at his name and looked up at Eddie's eyes. They twinkled back at him in the dying last light of the day, Eddie's golden skin lit by the last rays of the sun. Buck felt his face heat with a blush, knew there was nothing to do about it.

"Sorry, I should've--"

"Feel better after your shower?"

Buck sighed and smiled. "Yeah. World's better." He stood, stretching out his long legs as he descended the stairs. It was full dark now, but Buck didn't feel like turning on a light. "I can take her now."

"Nope." Eddie met him midway, hand on Buck's shoulder turning him around. "You're both getting some sleep now." One hand on Buck's shoulder, the other holding a drowsy Jee Yun, Eddie guided him back up the stairs, and pressed Buck down until he was sitting on his bed.

"Eddie, are you sure--"

"Shhh." Eddie deposited Jee into Buck's arms, then sat down behind him. "You can hold her for now." Eddie's hands skimmed up Buck's warm back then pulled the towel off Buck's shoulders, laying it on top of Buck's head, where a corner flopped over his eyes.

"Eddie?"

"Hold still, Buck."

Eddie's strong hands curled into the towel and Buck's hair, rubbing vigorously to get it dry. "Seriously, anyone who has ever seen your hair at work would marvel at how different it looks before you comb and gel all the life out of it." He rubbed vigorously, and Buck felt himself relaxing back against Eddie's chest. Tomorrow, he might look back at this and feel embarrassed. He might have to apologize. Tomorrow, he would go back to hiding how much he felt for the man who was drying his hair, still absent-mindedly humming the Arroz con leche tune under his breath. But for now, Eddie was too near and too warm and too... Eddie. And Buck found that he couldn't deny himself Eddie right now.

Buck cleared his throat and made himself focus on their conversation. "I used to wear my hair naturally, but people said it looked floppy. Made me look like a puppy."

"People are stupid sometimes, Buck. You know this." Eddie's thumb traced the shell of Buck's ear. "And if you think slicking back your hair makes you look less like a puppy, you really shouldn't be bothering." He snickered as Buck tried to shoulder his chest and Jee made a noise of complaint.

"So I just look like a puppy all the time, huh?"

The towel dropped. Eddie's arms came around, holding onto Buck and Jee Yun both. "I think you're a beautiful man, Buck."

The air in Buck's chest hiccupped out of his mouth. His heart picked up speed as the places where Eddie's hands rested on his stomach seemed to heat from within. "Y... Eddie?"

"Shhh. Sleep now. Jee's asleep, but who knows for how long." Eddie's voice was gruff, embarrassed. "I'll just--"

"Stay?" It came out too high, too soft. Buck cleared his throat and tried again. "I mean, if it isn't any trouble, and--"

"I can stay." Eddie's arms tightened around Buck again and he pulled him backwards until Buck could lay out flat on his back, before pressing Buck's head down on his pillow. Then Eddie pulled Jee from Buck's arms and sat back against the headrest, legs folded together, Buck's niece cuddled again against his chest. "Sleep now."

"Okay." There was so much Buck wanted to know. To say. It all got stopped in his throat as fear tamped it all down to squirm in his chest.

"Eddie?" The word found its way out.

"Hm?"

"...Nothing."

A sigh. Then, "Come here."

Buck didn't hesitate, moving his head off the pillow and onto Eddie's lap. Eddie's spare hand found its way back into his curls and tugged lightly before stroking through them, gently, so gently.

"Sleep now."

"Okay. But," Buck's jaw cracked around a large yawn. "Before... you have to know..."

"Hm?"

"You are... so beautiful... Eddie Diaz."

Buck felt Eddie's hand tighten in his hair again, before releasing, fingers wandering down to trace his eyebrows, his nose, his lips.

"Sleep, querido."

As Buck's eyes slipped closed, and awareness almost dropped away, he swore he could feel lips press lightly right above his eye, on his birth mark.

"Contigo mi vida me casaré yo."

[outrunningthedark]

Hi Tina!

I’ve seen a lot of posts about the angst that is going to come up between Bucktaylor and I might be wrong but I don’t think any of it is going to happen. The latest is Taylor was in foster care and the person she was on the phone to in 5x6 was about that and the angst is to do with her talking with her parents etc to parallel hens family friend storyline coming up. But I really don’t think it’s going to be that.

I think Tim brought Taylor back to just scratch his reporter itch, he said in an interview he wanted to see more of a reporter angle and this is the easiest way to do it bring back Taylor as his reporter which also adds Buddie angst while buck and Taylor are together.

To me Taylor is just like Ana a plot point. Not meant to be there long term just an obligatory speed bump on the road to Buddie. (I’m not being misogynistic I just don’t think they were brought back to be long term love options or the writers would have sewn them into the fabric of the shown not left them on the sidelines)

MW keeps liking posts saying Buddie isn’t going canon but I think like GW she wouldn’t even be told anything about Buddie.

I think Buddie is 100% going to happen so I don’t know if I am just being negative because of that. Do you think Taylor is meant to be a bigger character than she is right now? I see people wanting her to be a main but I just don’t see it. I’m just interested in your opinion ❤️

Hey, Lisa! I hope you and the family are doing well! 💞 Truthfully, this is the first I'm hearing about people wondering if Girlboss was raised in foster care (??? WHAT) and I imagine this speculation is coming from the same crowd who was hoping their white fave would be worthy of her own "Begins" episode. 😶 It's COMPLETELY unsurprising that these children are rejecting any and all possibility that her phone call had to do with work. Prioritizing a career over being with *Buck* is not gonna win her any new fans :( There must be a more heart-wrenching, sympathetic explanation :( I've seen the theories about a potential new job offer being the reason behind her conversation, but I would also throw in the idea that maybe she was answering a call about about the events of the day - a request/suggestion to "use her connections" to get the real story - and that's why she was treading lightly. (It would also lend credence to the growing opinion that she may actually go digging for information in 5x07.) I can honestly say I've never considered her to be Buck's endgame. IMO, it was easy for Tim to justify bringing MW back because there are proven ways to incorporate her "independent woman" persona (I laugh) without taking away from the firefam. That being said... TayKay The Reporter hasn't actually done all that much reporting. Her tv scenes in 5x01 and 5x03 happened while the other characters (Maddie, Michael, and Harry) were going through tough times. The focus wasn't supposed to be on the redhead with the microphone, but on Maddie, who was struggling to care for her daughter; Michael, who was worried about his son in the aftermath of the kidnapping; and Harry, the child who had just been through a traumatic experience. Tim and the writing staff merely found two scenes where she could be included without deterring from the main plots. So. Take away her reporting (her purpose) and what are we left with? The Girlfriend. Except...she hasn't been much of a girlfriend either, yeah? - Wasn't in the second episode of the season (a glaring decision, quite frankly, since there *was* an unidentified male reporter's voice providing details about the heatwave) and Buck was too worried about Eddie's health to consider how his girlfriend whom he hadn't seen in days might be doing. She never even got a mention. - Shoehorned in at the end of 5x03 to put emphasis on Buck's lingering loneliness despite being in a relationship. "Hi, honey. I'm home. (Without you.)" - Didn't have a role in 5x04 even though Buck was dealing with family troubles. When Buck is punched by his brother-in-law and friend, does he seek comfort in his girlfriend? Confide in her or ask her opinion? No. He turns to Eddie instead. - 5x05 was the first time we saw Girlboss trying to play the part of Girlfriend, and rather than put a spotlight on any off-screen progress they may have made (like we were supposed to assume happened between Buck + Ali), their first scene has TayKay trying to sympathize with Buck by comparing his struggles with the firefam to a boss that wasn't very nice to her. I understand the intention, and I won't knock her for the effort, but ending her anecdote with "So maybe...you might wanna consider that not everything's about you?" was the writers' way of showing us that she STILL doesn't fully "get" Buck. She doesn't realize how personally he takes what he perceives to be rejection. She doesn't realize that he doesn't know how to remove his personal feelings from a situation. Thus, her "advice" is unable to ease his fears because she hasn't taken the time to figure out the best way to get through to him. Not the way Eddie does - and already did the week prior. I'll leave out what just happened in 5x06 because I've said far too much as is, but my point is that this show hasn't actually put a positive spin on either one of her "sides". She's reported the news when it was convenient (and the second time once again depicted her as a woman who will place her career before her relationship...not a good sign for the fate of BT!), and when she's been given the opportunity to step away from that role, to be seen as someone other than a news reporter...she's either deemed unnecessary or presenting herself in a way that makes the audience go "Well, that was awkward."

It's important to remember that every scene and every piece of dialogue has to be approved by the writers, directors, and Timothy. If either MW or Oliver were to veer off script, if something they were doing was giving us the "wrong impression", everyone behind the cameras would put a stop to it. What we're witnessing, what we're feeling is what's SUPPOSED to happen because BT is not meant to be anything more than a detour on Buck's journey to finding the love he so deeply longs for. Now...we wait for him to realize he's going the wrong way and do what he must to get back on the right path ;) (This is so long, y'all. Pls don't hate me.)

[amazonworrier]

What are your thoughts on Dani and her relationship with Santana ? Based on the scraps of her that we got haha. I didn't even know who demi Lovato was, I'd heard of the name but had no idea what she looked like, so when Dani showed up it was cool a cute and fun girlfriend for Santana, let's do this. After the break up in s4 I really wanted for Santana to have a serious enough relationship, if only for a little while. It seemed like that's what it was with Dani but then again we never got to see it. Do you think they were in love, even a little? I super missed the version of the loft with kurtcheltana (+Brittany) and friends, i think Elliot and Dani could still all be friends (maybe reluctant friends at first), still have their silly little band. (go away youngings from ND, you're illegal squatters, no one likes you)

(and I think the pre-brittany era could even work well with your faberry shipping heart, what with Rachel being jealous of Dani, of constantly seeing Dani and Santana being all coupley, when Rachel's literally right there! Brittany's far away but you have another girlfriend prospect right here Santana!)

How do you see all those situations coming to be? (I swear I'm not begging for fics, I mean I am, but I know how very busy you are. But like, your thoughts, a short essay maybe ;) I just adore and appreciate your Santana loving brain very very much)

Oh anon, I have ignored you for far too long. My apologies. This is a very layered ask haha so I’m going to answer as best as I can but sorry in advance if I don’t cover everything off.

It’s hard to know what the deal was with Dantana because we never really saw much of them. They go from meeting/starting to date in 5x02 to being in a committed relationship and appearing quite domestic throughout the rest of 5A, then having an offscreen breakup to make room for Brittana again. So… it’s all really open to our interpretation? I feel like that’s why half the fandom think Dani was just a super casual virtual stranger-type for Santana, while the other half think it might’ve been something a bit more real between them (I’m wilfully ignoring those who hate Dani solely for not being Brittany). There’s no evidence to support either reading of the relationship all that much, because the writers just didn’t give us anything to go on. When it comes to Dantana, anything goes.

That said, if I were going to write a fic to fill in the blanks for season 5 Dantana, (which I’m not because I barely have time for my other pairings) it would probably go something like this:

First date: post 5x02 kiss but before Santana’s horrible biphobic comment to Rachel in the diner. I’d set this up as Santana being open to a new relationship but still very much hanging on to Brittany, and her first date with Dani feeling like a bit of a new beginning. She’s a cute girl, they get along. Santana has a good time. They banter, they kiss etc. She’s feeling hopeful, and not to mention glad that Dani is NOTHING like Brittany, who she is definitely, absolutely over by now. Why wouldn’t she be? She has Dani.

5x03: Santana would be with Dani when she finds out about Finn’s death. Rachel and Kurt would be too busy having their own reactions for Santana to feel right having hers too loudly anywhere near them. Maybe she holds it together for ages and Dani is the only one encouraging her to let it out, then shows up at Dani’s apartment when she gets home from the funeral and just falls into her arms crying or something. It could’ve been a nice opportunity for Dantana to go beyond surface level, and for Santana to be vulnerable around her new girlfriend, which I feel would’ve then given way to some of the more casual touching moments we got between them in scenes thereafter.

Then somewhere between The Quarterback & Frenemies/Trio I would’ve written stuff like:

Dani hanging with Kurcheltana, and later Elliot, in the loft. They all get close during band rehearsals and start having movie nights/going out etc. Kurt is Dani’s favourite, but she pretends Rachel is because it gets Santana all wound up and leads to some great sex later on. They haven’t talked about why.

Elliot and Dani besties. That is all.

Rachel and/or Kurt walking in on Dantana making out on the couch in the loft. It’s a constant “will you two stop doing it on our couch?!”/“this is my bed!” running bit. They give up after a while and mostly just hook up at Dani’s house. That’s pretty much where Santana is whenever we don’t see her with Rachel/Kurt in season 5. Dantana spend a lot of time together and Santana genuinely starts to think she might be getting over Brittany.

Elliott/Dani and Kurtana double gay bestie dates in New York. Oh what fun they could’ve had.

Another girl propositions Santana “and her girlfriend” for a threesome while at a gay bar one night and Santana goes into full lesbian panic mode. Dani thinks it’s hilarious and helps her talk her way out of it. When she hears about the incident later, Rachel is oddly eager to hear if that’s something they’d be into.

First I love you: It’s not a big deal, but more like one of those accidental slips. Eg. Dani humouring Santana by contributing to one of her little rants about Rachel by throwing in a sarcastic comment of her own, and Santana being like “God, I love you.” Then they’re both just like 😳😳 for a second. Santana’s just about to bury herself in the ground when Dani gives her a peck on the cheek and is just like “What’s not to love?” because she knows that’ll be the easiest way to talk Santana off the ledge. Then Dani tells Santana she loves her later that night while they’re falling asleep, thinking Santana is already passed out, only for Santana to crack one eye open and stare at her. Then Dani is like 😳😳 so Santana just threads their fingers together with a lil’ smirk on her face and goes “What’s not to love?”

Post frenemies fight, Dani goes over to the loft to find Santana on her own taping the torn Pezberry photo back together on the floor. Santana tries to brush it off but eventually opens up to her gf and cries about the whole thing. Makes it clear she’s mad at Rachel, but she’s also upset with Rachel and herself for screwing everything up. Dani just hugs her and lets her get it all out. She knows better than to offer advice where Pezberry are concerned.

I think I accidentally just sold myself on Dantana in the process of responding to this ask so I’m gonna stop here because I need a minute before thinking about breaking them up… Ask me again in a few days.

[imreallyloveleee]

thoughts on 5x03

- this episode is a straight-up BUMMER, and it’s weird because usually when high school shows do a graduation episode there is at least some sense of optimism to it - like yes, things are changing, and in some ways that’s sad, but in other ways it’s exciting and new and right. this episode has absolutely none of that. it’s just bummer after bummer after bummer

- as such, i feel like i don’t actually have a lot to comment on? there are relatively few wild / outrageous things going on in this episode. i spent the whole episode with a pit in my stomach. it was not enjoyable to watch.

- but ok let’s start here: FP basically breaks up with Alice out of nowhere right in front of their children, lmao

- it’s incredibly strange how everyone treats JB’s videos as some sort of utterly depraved act and not just a weird thing she did to pass her free time in middle school instead of smoking cigarettes in a Wendy’s parking lot and shoplifting

- poor Jughead got flat-out rejected by his family for the 80 millionth time in his life just so they could have a dramatic scene of former Sheriff Idiot speeding away on his motorbike. god i hate FP, and the way Skeet Ulrich plays every single scene like he just found out his half-brother Jimmy will be going to prison for life if he doesn’t step up and admit he’s the one who left those drugs in the glove compartment the night they got pulled over driving home from a tense standoff over custody rights with his ex-wife

- Fangs and Sweet Pea walk at graduation as a pair, because god forbid we give one of them 5 extra seconds of screentime that might cut into Archie-staring-at-an-old-military-photo time

- when Archie stops by the army table one of the recruiters says “this is not a decision to make lightly” which wins the award for most unrealistic dialogue ever spoken on Riverdale

- still angry that Jughead just tosses his hat in the time capsule and no one even fkn blinks

- Cheryl and Toni’s breakup is just??????? 

- obviously the best thing that could have happened to Toni tho

- the scene of Archie’s confession on the bleachers really is fantastic. Veronica freaks out, Jughead looks mildly concerned, Betty’s just like “umm yeah sounds good Archie drive safe?”

- the fact that they don’t even begin to touch the Bughead fallout from 4x17 until the last 15 minutes of the episode really drives home how clear it is they just didn’t WANT to deal with it because it made no gd SENSE

- Veronica Lodge is a goddamn fucking angel, btw

- the last scene between Jug & Archie is a perfect encapsulation of what drives me fucking crazy about this show. i can see Jug having this “it doesn’t matter” reaction if the thought process underpinning it was “i’m incredibly fucking angry at you BUT i’m still processing everything and don’t know the right way to express it and also you’re going to Army to maybe die in The War so i’m just going to pretend like everything’s cool for now.” but instead of giving it any of that nuance that would make it believable, this show just plays it completely straight so we’re supposed to take it at face value that this is how Jughead feels, Best Bros Forever Bro!!!

- typing that out reminded me of one of the few highlights of this episode, which is when Reggie looks like he might go in for a kiss with Archie on the last day of school. we were so close

- the other highlight is when Penelope Blossom pops out of the bushes at graduation, but you didn’t need me to tell you that

- Betty and Jughead not talking makes me SO SAD. Jughead squatting in Archie’s house and then the fuck bunker makes me SO SAD. Jughead getting ditched at Pop’s one year later makes me SO SAD. 

- what the FUCK, riverdale

- editing to add: i guarantee no one reading this will remember, but the first few minutes of this episode start with a) FP, Jughead and Archie showing up at Hiram’s door, b) demanding he reinstate Tom Keller as sheriff so that he can c) arrest a bunch of homeless kids who have been sleeping underneath the boxing ring at Archie’s gym, which they only know about because d) these are also the kids who helped JB make her videos?

help

[jackexmachina]

@suncaptor’s Milestone Event Day 2: Angels // Vessels Alright, Plan B. We have a Plan B?

image description: scenes from “Free to Be You and Me,” “Point of No Return,” “I’m No Angel,” “Road Trip,” “The Devil in the Details,” “The Vessel,” “Game Night,” and “Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven.”

5x03: Lucifer in Nick’s form sits on Sam’s motel bed, in the dark. He tells Sam, “Nick here is just an improvisation. Plan B. He can barely contain me without spontaneously combusting.”

14x17: Nick is attacking Sam outside the Impala, his face and shirt are bloody and he’s been thrown in the dirt. He taunts Sam, saying, “Lucifer’s perfect vessel. Not so perfect now, are ya?” Sam staggers against the car and Nick bashes him in the head with a rock and begins to strangle him.

9x03: Sam and Dean sit in the Impala. Dean turns to look at Sam and says, carefully, “I think it’s time for Plan B.” Sam looks at him confused while Dean continues to stare, then shakes his head a little and says, “I’m not following.”

9x03: (continuation) Then, Gadreel in Sam’s body turns slightly to him, quietly asking, “What is it, Dean?” Dean says, “I need your help.” Gadreel responds, “That is flattering. We’ve been through this. I cannot be making public appearances.”

11x10: Lucifer and Sam are in a facsimile of the cage, and Lucifer looks away for a moment, before shrugging and saying, “Okay. Plan B.” He hits Sam, who groans. Dean, Crowley, Rowena, and Castiel look up when they hear Sam from the other room. Dean starts to run to him, yelling, “Sam!” and Castiel follows behind him.

11x14: Sam and Lucifer (currently in control of Castiel’s vessel) are in the bunker, and Lucifer is preparing a spell. Lucifer is laughing at Sam, who asks, “What?” Lucifer waves his question away, still laughing and shaking his head as he says, “Oh, it’s just– I don’t– I don’t need you anymore.” He smiles at that realization.

9x10: Dean looks from Gadreel in Sam’s body to Castiel, saying, “Alright, Plan B.” Castiel looks over to him as he says, “Cas. You gotta possess him.” Castiel, confused, asks, “What?” Dean yells, “Do it now!” Gadreel smirks a bit as Dean says, “Get in there.” Then, Dean looks at Gadreel as Crowley tells him, “I can wake Sam up. Just call me ‘Plan C.’” Castiel interjects, “You can’t be–” but Dean interrupts to ask, “You got a better idea?” Dean looks desperately at Castiel as Crowley watches them, tilting his head up confidently.

9x10: Later, Sam and Dean stand outside on a bridge, it’s dark and raining. Dean nods and looks up at Sam as he says, “Okay, I am. I’m pissed.” Sam pauses before continuing, pained and angry, “You lied to me. Again.”

5x18: Sam, Dean, and Adam are sitting with Bobby and Castiel in Bobby’s study. Sam says, “All this crap about destiny? Suddenly the angels have a Plan B?” He looks around at them before continuing, “Does that smell right to anybody?” Adam responds, moving to get up, “You know, this has been a really moving family reunion, but uh, I got a thing. So.”

15x08: In the bunker, Dean shakes his head and tells Adam, “You didn’t deserve that.” Adam looks down a closes his eyes for a moment, before shrugging a little and looking back up at him. He smiles, sadly, asking, “Since when do we get what we deserve?”

[aturnoftheearth]

LORDHURONNATURAL RISE in every window i pass your reflection in the glass makes me wonder if my mind is going shadows shifting in the rain slowly driving me insane! is this not 8x07

oh my god anon you didn't ask for this but you opened the door so buckle in for my lordhuronnatural obsession (i could make a case for every one of them but i will hold back that derangement and just do my favs):

love like ghosts - their entire relationship. licherally. (i don't feel it till it hurts sometimes // oh go on baby, hurt me tonight // i want ours to be an endless song // baby in my eyes you can do no wrong)

until the night turns - LITERALLY a 5x03 and 5x04 song. i did a video but oh my god it fits these two episodes specifically. (i got a helluva view for the end of the world // i've got a bottle of booze and a beautiful girl // if I'm a'­goin to die I'm gonna go in style)

fool for love - part of my secret good 15x19 when dean goes to rescue cas and ends up in the empty with him (ain't afraid of him cause I'm a fool for love // I stare into the endless sky // and the sorry tale of my life goes by // i drift into the great unknown // and I really don't know where I'm going)

wait this is getting long let me add a read more

the yawning grave - also part of my secret good 15x19 where they defeat chuck !! (oh you fool there are rules I am coming for you // darkness brings evil things oh the reckoning begins)

louisa - LITERALLY their whole relationship ?? (then you came into my life with come hither in your eyes // pulling me outta the grave what a nice surprise)

the night we met - obviously. obviously. but also! plays in my secret good version of 15x19 after dean is stuck in the empty too. flashes over their scenes and they make it out of the empty by the end of the song. (when the night was full of terrors // and your eyes were filled with tears // when you had not touched me yet // oh, take me back to the night we met)

i haven't listened to vide noir yet but i HAVE heard when the night is over and i agree 100% it's literally 8x07

mine forever - divorce arc song! (in my mind, you're mine forever // If you ever wanna see my face again, i wanna know // if you never wanna see my face again, i wanna know)

love me like you used to - another divorce arc song!!!! (i have travelled many miles, I don't wanna walk no more // every road and every highway led me right back to your door // love me like you used to, and I'll praise you like I should // love me if you choose to, though you say that I'm no good // i dream most every night that I never left you)

long lost - very much feels like a Cas Song like the nature vibes and just... yeah <3 (i've got a place in the world and i found out where // out in the night all alone in the way out there // i ain't lonely, i'm long lost)

not dead yet - ohhh this is a Dean Song. (all messed up with nowhere to go // i stare at myself in the mirror alone // it's hard to make friends when you're half in the grave // but i ain't dead yet // and I've got something to say) he’s LITERALLY got something to say!!!!

i lied - literally this song hit me so hard for them that i learned how to edit videos so i could make an amv for this song. (i swore that i’d become a better man for you and i tried // i tried to change my ways and walk the line you follow)

[whateverthedragonswant]

I’ve been rewatching sections of SPN and this is where my head is at with the destiel timeline. This is just my thoughts so it’s very wordy.

Indeed we have four different eras, four different sets of storytelling for the same main characters, but while showrunners have their own visions, they still have to meet any network restrictions/guide lines/criteria and can’t just go 180 degrees in the other direction without it making sense in some way to the central story with the central characters or they risk alienating too many sections of their fanbase/viewership. I’m not in the writers’ heads or Misha’s or Jensen’s, I have no idea what went on behind the scenes, but this is what I saw from a viewer perspective of the story they were telling, my personal take. And I swear the more I rewatch, the more I feel like my take on it keeps fleshing out while the skeleton remains the same and is set in stone for me:

Season 4: Kripke  

Dean: Dean’s not in love

Cas: Cas is not in love (though he is starting to feel things)

this doesn’t take away from their bond at all but even though Cas resurrected Dean, Dean doesn’t know him all that well & Cas is a completely different character compared to later season Cas

Season 5: Kripke

Dean: Dean’s not in love

Cas: Cas is not in love (that we can tell)

though the bond is solidifying and a friendship is forming (think 5x03)

Season 6: Gamble

Dean: Dean’s not in love

Cas: Cas is in love (even if he might not know it yet)

the bond is solidified, the friendship is there, and a family bond had even started forming (which we see confirmed in dialogue in 6x20 & 6x21) - yes Dean is emotionally affected by Cas’ betrayal but that is in line with where their relationship is at, if this was Sam he would be just as affected, and they do have that bond after all

Season 7: Gamble

Dean: Dean’s not in love

Cas: Cas is...it’s hard to tell with him not really being Cas 100% most of the season (when he’s allowed to return I mean), I think in the beginning of the season he is in love before he dies (again, even if he might not know what that is yet) but when he’s an amnesiac and then not completely himself, I think subconsciously he still has feelings, it’s ingrained into who he is but ultimately, I don’t think he recognizes it because not only does he not know what it is but can’t recognize it right then

Season 8: Carver

Dean: Dean has feelings (I don’t think he knows what they are yet)

Cas: Cas is in love (I think he knows he has feelings for Dean but still doesn’t know what that means just yet)

the bond is solidified, the friendship is solidified, the familial bond is solidified, now something else is in place and is...forming - if I was only allowed to pick one episode to show you from the entire season to show you as an example of what I’m talking about, it would be 8x22 - the argument in the bunker between Dean and Cas & then Cas trying to buy things he thinks Dean needs and/or will like (and yes, I say Dean, because he wasn’t buying that Asian Beauties skin mag for Sam) - that argument, the camera work, the performances, Sam’s uncomfortable clearing of the throat to interrupt the moment, all of it had a romantic read & then to Cas’ reaction which felt like a husband buying his husband/wife flowers or a gift to make up for said argument

Season 9: Carver

Dean: Dean has feelings (again, not recognizing what it is)

Cas: Cas is in love (and now, I think he knows exactly what it is, I truly believe his time being human this season helped bring that clarity)

even though they were kept separate this season for reasons, Jeremy Carver still told Misha to act like a “jilted lover” in 9x06 and he did it well, I think Dean’s reaction to Cas’ call in 9x06 and then finding Cas and then convincing him to go on the hunt shows that Dean is wanting his friend back, missing his friend/family, feeling some guilt over making Cas leave, and wanting the team back together so to speak - I think Dean’s reaction to Cas’ “drunkeness” is interesting - I also don’t think the importance of Cas giving up his angel army to protect him was lost on Dean but I don’t think he ever thought it could mean Cas had feelings for him that weren’t strictly platonic or brotherly. Not to mention the reaction to Cas’ death in 9x03 and the face holding. 

Season 10: Carver

Dean: Dean has more than feelings (still not recognizing it fully for what it is)

Cas: Cas is in love

we see Cas’ discomfort at Hannah’s flirtation with him & him setting her straight, that they need to focus on finding the other angels - Dean is still dealing with the MOC but we also get the Cas/Colette connection playing out for Dean and Cas this season in 10x22 in that scene (and where Dean’s theme plays after Cas says “stop” funnily enough), if this were just Cas having these feelings, that connection/parallel would never have been made, Cas wouldn’t have been the one to say “stop”, there wouldn’t have needed to be a three character setup in the arc of Cain to begin with - and let’s not forget the confession scene in 10x16, 2 episodes after Dean kills Cain and Cain himself makes the connections in dialogue to Dean: Crowley -> Abbadon (a demonic fling), Cas -> Colette (an unconditional love), Sam -> Abel (the brother he would give up his soul for) - Dean is beginning to become aware that things are changing for him, he’s thinking about a different ending for himself vs what he’s always expected, so for him to talk about experiencing “feelings”, “people” differently than he ever has before, “maybe even for the first time”, it’s not a coincidence

Season 11: Carver

Dean: Dean is in love (but I still don’t think he’s 100% aware yet)

Cas: Cas is in love

this season was all about heart and was pretty heavily layered into the main plot lines of the season - Dean wants a different ending for himself (though he doesn’t think he deserves it), he has a bond that parallels his bond with Cas but it still doesn’t supersede the latter bond no matter how powerful the former is - Dean’s bond with Amara didn’t need to have romantic undertones or any kind of attraction - Amara could have easily been God’s brother though that might have been too gay even if it never implied romance or attraction (knowing this show and this network’s history with this show, they definitely would have been worried about that) - but no, they chose to make Amara’s bond with Dean to be the textual romantic bond though later in the same season, Dean confirms in dialogue that it’s not a bond he chooses or enjoys and who is the first person he tells? Cas (really Casifer but he doesn’t know that yet) - Dean is pining for someone that we hear about in 11x11 through Mildred and then again in 11x13 that he feels love but it’s “cloaked in shame” - overtly, one can assume this is Amara that’s being referenced (especially since the qareen shows up as Amara in 11x13) but the dialogue later in the season nullifies that theory - since there is no other love interest for Dean, who is he pining for? Who has been away from him most of the season? Not to mention the obvious longing we get when he, Sam & Crowley fail to eject Lucifer from Cas & Amara is about to kidnap Casifer, the moment he yells out Cas’ name and we not only see Amara’s surprise but also Casifer’s. The face holding in 11x03. Even Dean choosing to say “eye of the beholder” when Cas is offended that Sam called his car crappy, when Cas asks him his opinion. When it comes to something like this, when have we ever known to hold back? Tbf, Cas wasn’t doing well at the time (still under Rowena’s spell) so maybe he decided to hold his tongue for that reason (like he has when Sam wasn’t doing so well in season 8 during the trials) but to me, they purposely put this interaction, this dialogue in there, and it wasn’t just for comedy or a lighthearted joke or to poke fun at Cas’ auto choices

Season 12: Dabb

Dean: Dean is in love (he knows it a little bit more now but still unwilling to admit it or confront it) 

Cas: Cas is in love

in 12x09, that scene where the boys have just been rescued by Ketch, Mick, Mary and Cas, the car turns off, Sam says “it’s time” and who does Dean look over to? He doesn’t look in Mary’s direction or Sam’s, he doesn’t even look at his lap or out his own window or straight ahead of the car, he looks to Cas, only when Cas looks at him in puzzlement, wondering what Sam means, does Dean look away, yes we see the guilt because he knows what’s coming but why was Cas the only one he chose to look towards, Mary didn’t know about this either and she is very important to him, so why Cas? Not to mention, we see the bickering in 12x10 (it would be one thing to see Cas reacting this way but Dean plays into it just as much), Dean’s reaction to Cas’ return in 12x19 after being AWOL again, “it’s a gift, you keep those”, and of course Dean’s reaction to Cas’ death in the season finale - we may not have gotten a reaction to Cas’ “I love you” in 12x12, but the camera did all of the work there, panning to Dean, showing us Cas’ almost timidity in assessing any reaction Dean has to that sentiment once he moves his eyes off of Sam, plus we also Dean’s lower lip wobble when Cas told him he was dying before saying “no, no you’re not”

Season 13: Dabb

Dean: Dean is in love (and I’m pretty sure he knows it now, but he’s still not willing to confront it or admit it)

Cas: Cas is in love

we have Dean’s grieving arc for Cas from 13x01-13x05, here is where we see signs that Dean’s grieving for him is emphasized and the difference in having Cas back vs not having him back is confirmed in dialogue by Sam in 13x06, Dean confirms Cas being back is the win they needed and Sam says “fair enough” with a look of disbelief and then goes back to close the closet he oh so conveniently left open for this conversation, in a cowboy-themed motel, in the same episode Dean and Cas are a pair of cowboy hat wearing law enforcement agents, the first episode Cas is back in the swing of things but with the added new dynamic of Jack - we also see in this season the beginning of co-parenting between Dean and Cas (yes, Papa Moose is still in the picture but they purposely included Dean in this dynamic as well, same as with Claire back in season 10 though obviously more involved this time around) - one of the best moments that show this off the top of my head? 13x22 when Lucifer shows up at the camp, Dad!Dean immediately aggressively attempts to put a stop to any communication between Jack and Lucifer, something Sam is still in too much shock to do, that Cas is unable to do and needs the backup (though it doesn’t stem Jack’s understandable curiosity & or prevent their future interactions) & sure enough after Dean tells them not to talk to each other, Lucifer asks “Don’t you think that’s his decision?” & Cas is the one to answer with a firm “No” and afterwards, Jack flies off at Dean telling Gabriel to kill Lucifer and Dean says “Great. He only does that when he’s scared. Way to go, Dad!” - total protective parents (& understandably so) - & 13x23? Dean does the one thing he has never wanted to do, the one thing Cas & Sam have never wanted for him, and he says yes to Alternate!Michael in order to save Sam (his brother), Jack (their kid) & the world by extension from Lucifer - it was so loud that despite having seen Dean in a parental role before, this is one that he eventually chose to embrace once Cas came back & as Jensen said he “saw more Cas in” Jack than Lucifer

Season 14: Dabb

Dean: Dean is in love (and this time, he knows it and he’s unable to ignore it, but he’s keeping it to himself)

Cas: Cas is in love

I think Dean’s time being possessed by Michael changed his perspective, he even says as much to Cas in dialogue, so not only did he now have a shared experience with Cas and Sam & a better understanding of what they went through when they were possessed and had no control, but I think it really changed things for him - 14x03′s reunion scene I would venture to say is a bit more on the nose than say 13x06′s reunion scene, the reason I say that is because while 13x05 was impactful, this very clearly was focused on Dean reuniting with Jack on the surface but the main focus really was his reunion with Cas (& this is confirmed by the music swell once Cas enters frame plus Cas’ reaction) - I know Dean’s cradling of Cas’ face in 13x06 got cut so maybe if it hadn’t, it would have been more of a figurative punch to the gut, but here is where things shift yet again for these two, Dean doesn’t look away, doesn’t try to play it off as a joke or make small talk or look to Sam or Jack or any of the other hunters, this moment is for them & us (as the audience), we weren’t sure if or how Dean would be saved but here he is 3 episodes into the new season, after what we saw Sam, Cas, & Jack go through to find him, Mary is not even in this scene (not even in the episode in fact) and that speaks loudly (Mary is Dean’s mom and she’s important to him, absolutely family, but not part of this immediate family, in this moment), even when Jack hugs Dean, his eyes quickly go back to Cas once it’s finished - there is sustained eye contact between Dean and Cas right then and it’s not their usual, things haven’t changed (except circumstances) but at the same time, something has changed here, and then before you know it, the moment is over once Cas apologizes for not being there & Dean tells him not to worry about it, but of course we get another Sam expression, he has a little smile on his face but then his eyes dart to Jack when he speaks (breaking the so-called bubble), then Dean is back in Dean mode, wanting to take a shower & change & leaves, the moment was enough though to show things are shifting - 14x12 when Dean calls Cas about the case and Cas reveals he knows about the Ma’lak box plan, Cas told him Dean at the beginning of the call “It’s so good to hear from you” which makes Dean react awkwardly and clear his throat, change the subject when Cas brings up the plan, and at the end he says “It’s good to hear your voice” and hangs up before Cas can react or continue pleading with him, he makes an awkward face at the phone before turning to Sam, it’s not something he would have normally said but he’s intent on seeing this plan through and who knows if he’ll see Cas again (he didn’t intend for Cas to even know about the plan) but he’s gotten deep with Cas before, deeper than that, telling Cas in season 11 how Cas is a brother to him & Sam, how he’s family in season 6, and it wasn’t awkward so why now? - then later on in the episode, you have the scene where Cas confronts Dean about his plan, Dean straight up tells Cas not to interfere if he really is a friend of Dean’s so Cas asks “so this is goodbye?” and we see Dean’s “come on” head tilt with the swallow and glassy eyes which is then interrupted by Sam & never, and I do mean never have I seen Dean be annoyed by it before but in this moment, it’s very clear he is but rolls with it & they all focus on Donatello - why are we seeing these reactions now? because something has changed & it’s leading to what happens at the end of the season which is Jack killing Alternate!Michael, losing his soul, accidentally killing Mary, then being killed by Chuck after it’s revealed Chuck has been manipulating everything for forever which then leads into season 15 and of course, the eventual rupture between Dean and Cas

Season 15: Dabb

Dean: Dean is in love (but is not saying it...no, literally, he’s not saying anything by the end of the season)

Cas: Cas is in love

there is absolutely no way anyone that watched this season can ignore that Destiel was brought to the forefront this season, that it very much exists and is real - not only was Sam given his own love interest but it was once again paralleled with Dean’s in the same season, so much so that the framing, dialogue, and story was no longer subtle and while Jack was gone and Eileen was around, it only turned that flame up higher so to speak. They even paralleled the two in dialogue (the whole “real” convo) and in episodic events - 15x09, Dean has the prayer which parallels Cas’ confession/death scenes/Dean’s sobbing in 15x18, 15x09 Eileen leaves, 15x18 Cas dies and Eileen is Thanos snapped, devastating both brothers). Cas confirmed what we all knew by this point, that he was in love with Dean, but chose to confess that love in order to save Dean one last time, sacrificing his life to spare Dean’s - from 15x03 to 15x19, the show gave enough clues to show us exactly how Dean felt without ever having to textually confirm it (I’m not saying it’s right or that any of us even know what the hell happened between 15x18/15x19 and 15x20 but it’s still there). Dean’s “last look” as Cas leaves in 15x03, not to mention that’s very much a break up scene. If the show considered the break up scene between Benny and Dean back in season 8 to be a break up (which it was to an extent), then you can bet dollars to donuts they regarded this one as a break up scene as well. And it’s one that was done face to face, we see how it affects both Dean and Cas (and of course, the aftermath), right down to the sound effects (did we really need to hear Cas’ steps up the stairs and him opening & closing the bunker door? nope they did that because they wanted you to realize how important this scene was, plus they play Dean’s theme right after Cas says it’s time for him to move on so this scene is essential to Dean’s character in some way) and the camera shots, the zooms in and out, the performances -- all of it. Dean’s “being in a bad place” that he mentions to Sam in 15x08 when giving him the approval for Eileen but saying “he didn’t want to jinx it” but revealing he’s not in a bad place anymore & the only thing that has changed is Cas is back at the bunker, they’re still not getting along, but he’s back. The therapy session with Rowena in Hell that she purposely sends Sam out of the room to have (yes, the Cas purposely looking away when he sees Dean trying to discreetly look over at him happened after she asks Sam to go, but she says “What am I picking up from you two?” confirming she picked up on it before she needed a refill). The hesitant healing of Dean’s cut on his hand, not because Cas didn’t want to, but I think because he wasn’t sure if Dean would let him. 15x09 with the Purgatory trip (something meaningful for them both), not only the prayer but also their reconciliation. Purgatory in season 8 they experienced a shift and funnily enough, their relationship experiences a shift again, this time more obvious and forefront, not as subtle. They’re a team again, friends again, family again, and...something else again. We see Jack’s reunion with Dean and how Cas is a part of it (Dean looking to Cas for confirmation that it’s really Jack) but Sam is purposely kept a few steps behind after having his own reunion with Jack next to Cas. Dean and Cas’ relationship experienced a rupture due to Jack’s actions (besides Cas’ related to Jack/Mary and Rowena), this moment was important for not only Dean and Jack, but also Dean and Cas. He is choosing to trust Cas that this is indeed Jack. That’s a huge moment for them and that’s why Sam is kept back in that instance. 15x15 we see Dean deal with Amara again in relation to the plan to stop Chuck, we also find out why Amara brought back Mary in the season 11 finale. 15x17 when Sam pleads with Dean, he mentions if Billie becomes God, then everyone will go back to where they belong, that Eileen will die again, and Dean turns to look back at Cas who looks up at him before the confrontation between the brothers resumes (like I said, they’re not even trying to hide it now or keep it on a subtextual level anymore). 15x18 - after Sam loses Eileen, Dean and Cas face off against Billie and we work our way towards Cas’ confession scene. We don’t get Dean saying he loves Cas back or “wow, bro, I’m really flattered, I am, but I don’t see you that way”, instead we get rushed circumstances so the claim can be made that Dean didn’t have time to process it all (which makes sense with Dean’s character and all of the urgent factors they threw into the mix: their impending deaths, Billie breaking down the door, The Empty being summoned, Cas telling Dean things he needs to hear about himself that he would have trouble processing on a slow quiet day, etc) and it leaves it open-ended textually (until Cas reappears or Dean answers the question textually posed by the narrative in some way - again who knows what they originally planned for Cas’ ending & this situation since no one seems to be allowed to talk about it). But we do get the shot of Dean sobbing on the floor, not answering Sam’s call when people have been disappearing, and Dean now knows it’s Chuck. We get the vibrating phone, which is made louder when Dean drops it on the floor, and his sobs though he drops his head in his hands and we don’t see it. Just like 15x03, they purposely kept these sound effects in, no music, no other sound effects because they wanted to emphasize just how loud these two things were for the scene and not just for how awesome the audio is or their sound effects department is or even highlight Jensen’s acting. This is done to make sure we know just how much this devastates Dean, while also paralleling in a way to the 15x09 prayer (shot wise, event wise, etc). 15x19 - while we don’t get Dean talking to Sam about what happened (which is odd itself, since usually Dean does have these chats with his brother about these things, whether it’s Dean eventually coming out with a piece of it or Sam prodding it out of him, but again this keeps Dean from having to respond to the question posed by the narrative), that he only gives a brief gloss over Cas’ death for Sam and Jack (& Sam isn’t asking more questions? another odd thing but again it keeps Dean miles away from Answerville). But we do get Dean’s reaction to Chuck when demanding he bring everyone back and “Cas! You gotta bring him back” if they give Chuck his ending to which Chuck refuses. We also get Dean drinking heavily, falling asleep with bottles on the floor. We get the fakeout call from Lucifer (who has always portrayed himself as the dead love interest for other characters in the series, think Sam, Nick, Vince to be invited in) which prompts the two-steps-at-a-time run up the stairs, a brief hesitation at the opening of the door, and then the reveal that it’s Lucifer when it’s opened, which grants him access into the bunker (this easily could have been Eileen texting Sam or a call from Eileen herself to Sam, both brothers lost someone in the previous episode that we never see them get back) which is exactly what he was looking for. All of these little things show how important Cas was to Dean and it wasn’t just as a brother, a best friend, an angel he has a profound bond with, or even as a comrade. Dean was in love with him and Cas was his love interest. 

That’s the story they told though they took away Dean’s agency at the last second (and with it, his characterization and story development as an individual, as we see happen in the series finale, letting it die a slow and painful to watch but ridiculous death, quite literally) for whatever reason. *coughs* Walker and that demographic *coughs* Berens would have never written that confession scene if there was never going to be an answer from Dean to the narrative that scene set up. I think he was very well aware of the implications that would have risen had they not followed through in some form or given any answer in the narrative after that scene, that moment. And the fact that Misha stated they’re not really supposed to talk about Cas’ original ending after the finale aired when Jensen thought while quarantining to shoot the last two episodes that they could discuss what was changed post-COVID, to Dabb saying COVID didn’t cause any real changes and that this was always where the series’ ending was headed, to everyone staying radio silent and refusing to discuss it while Misha had offered fans bts photos after thinking he was going back to shoot after the COVID break but now says no 15x18 was always going to be his last episode... I mean, it is one big swirling whirlwind of contradictions and changing stories that I’m pretty sure we’ll never get the official answers to. But regardless of that PR bullshit, the CensuredWrongfully network (I have some other C names I’d like to call them but I guess that would be impolite), and all of that hot garbage, from a narrative stand point, despite their intentions or accidental discoveries along its run, this is the story the show was telling for Dean and Cas in this series. It may not have been meant to go this way (I don’t think it was initially), it may not have been wanted by some who were involved in making the show (it wasn’t), but this is where it ended up. And honestly...it’s really not a bad option for Dean story wise. I feel like that’s an oversimplification of just how massive this relationship could have been had it not been prevented at the last minute, how much of a game changer it could have been in many different arenas in television, but looking at it logistically from a story perspective, yeah it makes sense that Cas would have ended up being the love of Dean’s life and vice versa, why they would have been the perfect complement to one another. And here’s why:

Cas loves Dean unconditionally. Sure, he gets mad at him from time to time as we’ve seen and they don’t always agree, but they have a true connection. Dean needed someone who saw him as clearly as Cas did, not just for someone to love him like that, but he also needs it for his own self, to help him accept himself, to love himself even, to begin healing. Sure enough, Cas’ words in 15x18 do eventually sink in and we see this play out in 15x19 and a little bit in 15x20 before the disastrous tango with vamp stunt guy #4. 

Dean may have started out the ladies’ man, all about the casual one night stands and fly-by sex he could find but that Dean is not the same Dean we ended the series with. Dean changed from season 1 to season 15, just like people do in RL all the time. Just like a good long running TV show can show you how their characters develop and take you along for the ride. Not only is this obvious in how the show changed and progressed but in the main characters as well themselves. I’ll give you the perfect example. Did Dean have his dad’s leather jacket on at the end of the show? When was the last time you saw him wearing it? 5x22, Kripke’s last episode? Yep. That’s because he changed from the guy who idolized his dad and wanted to be like him, who had no real identity outside of the one John Winchester set up and shaped to be the perfect soldier to someone who had his own identity, who had grown into his own, had his own family (as he tells John in 14x13), and was living his life the best way he knew how while living it for himself (as much as he could while still hunting). He no longer was the old Dean Winchester. And they emphasize that time and time again as the seasons progressed, especially in Carver’s era, which Dabb then grabbed the baton and ran with, continuing Dean’s development. They drove the point home with what Amara told Dean in 15x15 and then what Cas says to him in 15x18 (outside of the confession itself). For Dean to choose not to kill Chuck, that was huge, especially when he was willing to sacrifice Jack, Cas, and shoot Sam only two episodes earlier (yes, I know, he was getting close to Chuck’s ending but like Chuck says Dean was on the edge of doubt, full of rage, that good ol’ anger Amara, Cas, and Dean himself talked about all season) to be free of Chuck’s manipulations, that Chuck was his focus most of the season. That was massive. Then in 15x20 (though usually I deny this as part of canon since it was obviously not a real finale but a backdoor promo pilot for another goddamn show), I have to talk about the fact that he had a dog and was looking to get out of hunting (i.e. job application on his desk). He was not 1x01 Dean Winchester or even 6x01 Dean Winchester anymore. He had changed immeasurably and developed beautifully as a character (it’s the kind of character development you wish you could get for each one of your favorite characters on your favorite shows without having to invest a ton of years and suffering disappointments along the way, btw heads up TV fans, this is where your shows are going to go now thanks to GoT: shocking twists, ambiguous endings and finales that don’t make sense, all in the name of ratings, money, media coverage when fans go rightfully ape shit over the ruination, and unpredictability). So, it’s quite possible (if we’re choosing to ignore all of the signs mentioned above) that Dean’s feelings towards Cas had changed by the end of the series (even Dean’s feelings towards casual sex had changed by 15x01, old Dean would’ve hooked up with Lorna in 15x07, notice how that doesn’t happen in the episode Cas returns in after the rupture). He wasn’t the same Dean who tried to get Cas laid in 5x03, or even the same Dean who tried to hook Cas up with Mandy in 12x12. The dynamics had changed since then and so had the story as a whole.

He wasn’t the same Dean who wanted to go out Butch & Sundance style, guns blazing. He was an older Dean, a more developed and better rounded Dean who was starting to settle (or looking to settle I mean) and think about what he wanted out of life. So his feelings on mostly everything in his life were changing completely, or had already changed. Even his stance on monsters had changed. Not all but a select few. We saw that change take place with Benny, Kate, Garth & Bess, etc. So, the point is, different Dean means there could be other different things, like feelings for Cas, or being in love again but experiencing it differently than before, just as much as his endgame, his ending, his relationship with Sam, Jack, his feelings on continuing hunting, etc. The only thing that didn’t change about Dean by the end was his taste in music, his love for Baby, his functional alcoholism (unfortunately), and his diet.

When it comes to Dean’s love interests the show provided before Cas was considered: 

Lisa: Not that Lisa didn’t love Dean, we know she did. She accepted him, accepted that Sam was important to him, that he was a hunter. What she didn’t bank on was the co-dependency rearing its ugly head when Sam resurfaced and the hunting life catching up with them through Dean’s fear of them getting hurt by him or things hunting him, and then it coming to fruition by the end of the season even after they were broken up and she had moved on. She actually gave him a shot at domesticity, at forming a sort of family unit, but in the end, it unfortunately didn’t work.

Cassie: Dean loved Cassie, sure. But that relationship had passed on by the end of that episode in season 1. Not that they didn’t still have feelings for one another, but once again, other things came in between them, some hunting related.

Anna: Anna was a one night stand, an exchange if you will. He got comfort and gave her comfort in return (since it was her last night on earth). She was intended to be his love interest but we saw how that panned out.

Jo: Jo loved Dean but this never came to fruition. The story made it pretty clear that while Dean was attracted to her (in season 5), he didn’t return those feelings she had for him. We see their goodbye before Jo dies which is heartbreaking and he does kiss her (which she damn well deserved after saving him, sorry not sorry) but when we see them reunite for that one episode in season 7, he does care about her, love her even, but he’s not in love with her. He even teases her about the crush she had on him which she rightly tells him to shut up. For me personally, I would have loved to see this pairing progress but as usual, certain people didn’t want any female love interests for either brother and made their disapproval known loudly, so like many women on this show, she was killed off and kept that way.

Bela: Bela was a passing possible attraction, he was more irritated with her than anything else, sure the angry sex she suggests might have been incredible but it most likely would have only been a one night stand had it happened

Carmen: while Carmen was supposed to represent what Dean wanted romantically at the time in a perfect world aka Djinn dream (or what he thought he was supposed to want, I would almost venture to say, but that’s just me), in the end, she wasn’t real and they take the extra step to show you that by her being a model in ad (on a bus was it? or a bus bench maybe? I’m still working my way to rewatch season 3)

All of the casual hookups, the witch that spelled Dean to love her so she could get the Book Of the Damned, the siren who poisoned Dean in season 4, Gina who he had a weird monster daughter with for like a week (I still can’t believe that episode happen, that shit was just beyond strange, what was the point to it all?), the waitress from when he was a demon, the woman in the “Faith” episode (sorry I forget her name atm), even Crowley himself (they hinted very strongly at something that superseded a bromance there btw) -- Dean wasn’t in love. Even Benny (no matter how you choose to view it, there was a break up and it was paralleled to Sam’s relationship with Amelia in the same season), as much as Dean cared about him, it didn’t work in the end.

We’ve only seen Dean in love a handful of times. We saw him with Cassie (not in love, but love that’s passed), Lisa (not in love, but loves), under a spell, and then of course, the later seasons (I’m counting it). I find it really interesting that in the same season 14 episode where Dean and Jack work a case by themselves with the necromancer librarian, where the camera purposely shows Dean pushing the chicken statue away from him when the waitress talks about sex to Jack after he unwittingly mentions it, that Dean and Jack talk about love later on and Dean tells Jack “love is more complicated than that.” Sure, they were talking about the situation at hand with the necromancer, and it is a very true statement in general, but still...interesting. We all know love comes in many different forms and it can be indeed complicated. This doesn’t prove to me that Dean doesn’t love Cas. If anything, it just proves to me that the love he feels is something that could be interpreted as possibly transcending romantic or sexual orientation and/or attraction, that it could even be that old cliche soulmate connection/true love theme thingie. But in no way does it detract from the possibility of Dean being in love with Cas at all.

Cas is someone who is in the life (someone who probably still would have chosen to do so even if he became human permanently, even if he only helped with research or strategy), who gets Dean, who gets Dean and Sam as a unit, who even has his own friendship and familial brotherhood with Sam, who challenges/pushes/confronts Dean when needed, who supports Dean and looks out for him when also needed, and continues to love him no matter how angry or hurt he might be. And he does all of this while never losing himself. He said he did everything because of Dean, and he did but we also find out later on that Cas has had questions before. He may not have felt anything, but he did experience questions. So, this was innate in him before he met Dean; meeting him just helped bring it to the surface once more and this time he could act on it. Sure, Cas has made mistakes, we see that in seasons 6 and 7, seasons 8 and 9 even, and more moments over the series, but Dean is not infallible himself. Two imperfect people being perfect together, perfect for each other, or however it goes (did I just mention that cliche saying? you’re goddamn right I did). Not only do they have the profound bond between them, not only do they some similarities (like how they were molded, deadbeat dads, etc) and shared experiences that only the two of them have (like Purgatory, Dean’s rescue from Hell, etc), but Dean is important for Cas in that he showed him what mattered, what was worth fighting for, he changed him (like Cas says in 15x18). And Cas is just as important for Dean (the season 13 grieving arc wasn’t just to show us why Dean couldn’t accept Jack and treated him horribly, or to show us how much he loved Cas, it was also to show us that when Cas is gone, Dean loses faith & any hope he might have had, this is mirrored in 15x09 when Chuck shows Sam the visions and Dean gives up, confirming in dialogue to Sam that he’s felt this way since he had to bury Cas in the Ma’lak box after taking the MOC to beat Chuck). They became integral to each other’s story somewhere along the line, accidentally at first or on purpose, regardless it happened. 

And let’s not forget Cas’ own love interests throughout the series:

April: the reaper that deflowered Cas when he’s human. Needless to say, she didn’t last long, because she was no good, she killed Cas, and boom, she needed to go.

Hannah: Hannah had started to become attracted to him during their roadtripping together and make this point clear in the infamous getting ready to shower scene - at this point in the story though, it’s obvious Cas loves Dean (he gave up his angel army to protect Dean, his sad girl moment in 10x01 while Demon!Dean is doing his own roadtripping with Crowley, “I miss him”, the moment he has with Dean once Dean is cured with Sam’s blood, etc) and he’s not interested which he makes clear later and tries to be kind, suggesting they focus on their mission. When Hannah uses him as an excuse for her vessel’s husband and kisses him, he still doesn’t react, and eventually Hannah makes the decision to leave her vessel and return to Heaven. 

Nora: Cas’ boss from 9x06 - the same lady who tricked him into babysitting for her by asking him out but forgetting to mention she needed him to watch her daughter while she went out on a date without him (which is completely cruel btw, I was kind of hoping Cas would call her out on it or at the least we would see Dean say something but that’s just me)

No other love interests for him come to mind. Anna wasn’t really a love interest for him (sadly, wasted potential imho, especially since that whole I’ll-kiss-Dean-right -here-in-front-of-you-girl moment in the barn in 4x10 and Cas needing to look away, which I still would like an explanation for btw Mr. Collins, I know Anna was teasing him that she was feeling, that she was human in that last moment, but that look away, sure, angels aren’t supposed to be with humans, but there almost seemed to be a little...disappointment? just saying). Mandy may have been attracted to him in 12x12 but he clearly wasn’t interested, just more confused and trying to please Dean it seemed.

Cas was Dean’s love interest by season 15. There’s no other reason they paralleled it with Sam’s love interest (Eileen) so heavily, that they brought the Dean and Cas relationship to the forefront, as one of the main plot points of the season, so strongly (they obviously knew they were working up to 15x18 but that just furthers the point). And if Dean didn’t feel a thing for Cas, he wouldn’t have been so affected by Cas leaving in 15x03. He wouldn’t have been in a “bad place”. He wouldn’t have been in a better place in 15x08 after Cas returned in 15x07. They wouldn’t have shown how much this tension and distance ate at him before Cas came back and after. (anyone remember the kitchen scene where Dean walks in and Cas looks down at the table?) They wouldn’t have had to go to Purgatory to work out their issues, while dealing with Leviathan and looking for a Leviathan blossom, the Leviathan being the monsters Cas unwittingly let out into the world after one of Cas’ first betrayals of Dean to defeat Raphael and win the war. They wouldn’t have had Dean’s prayer confession where he not only apologizes but admits his anger issue and gets emotional, but also having the scene parallel to the some of the events (and visually) of 15x18. They wouldn’t have showed us Dean and Cas sitting at the table in the kitchen, together this time, after their reconciliation, and after Eileen leaves Sam (the other paralleled love interest/pairing). They woudn’t have left Dean’s reaction to Sam’s words in 15x17 or showed Cas’ reaction to Dean looking back at him. They certainly would have never paralleled Dean losing Cas to Sam losing Eileen or even Alternate!Charlie losing Stevie, and even made that little inference of a slow burn with the whole egg scene. They wouldn’t have had Lucifer call Dean and pretend to be Cas nor would they have showed Dean’s rush to the door without question, his hesitation, then his opening the door. They would have never had Dean forcefully demanding that Chuck bring Cas back in 15x19 when The Empty deal had nothing to do with Chuck and no one knew yet that anyone was able to be pulled out of there, when it’s been stated before in the story that Chuck and Amara have no power over The Empty or Death. They would have never had Jim Beaver’s eyebrows shoot up so high on his forehead that they disappeared under his hat before saying “Cas helped” in 15x20 and kept that in the shot. 

Cas was Dean’s love interest and even though Dean never got to say it back, he did love him. I’m even convinced Cas was the love of Dean’s life (besides Baby of course). The show (or the network, I really believe it’s the latter) may have chickened out in the end, or whatever happened, but ultimately, that’s the story they ended up telling. It’s a shame they didn’t see it through (for whatever reason). What a ride that would have been had they.