#but you keep eating dairy bc it tastes better

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

i ate this big piece of chocolate mousse cake today. ok technically it was two pieces, but they were sold in the same container, so it totally counts as one piece. except not to my stomach. i took 2 off the knock off lactaid pills. it did not matter. i feel like an imp has crawled it's way inside my asshole and set my innards on fire and is dancing in the ashes of what is left of my colon.

i will not learn from this.

[morethansalad]

do you have tips for someone who’s struggling to stay on a healthy vegan diet but keeps messing up? I have like an addiction to dairy products especially /: I used to have a binge issue (it’s better now) but I can’t seem to let go of the iced coffee, chocolate milk, etc, that I like. I have to stick to a healthy diet bc the sugar has caused me brain fog, and severe period cramps, and teeth issues. Please give me tips 😭 thank you and love your account 🙏🏾

ah I think it's pretty common to have that phase with dairy when you're transitioning to a vegan/plant-based diet. I feel like just knowing that can allow you have patience with yourself, and also to make a bit more effort to choose differently. the more you stop choosing animal products, the less you think about them or even care for them. luckily, dairy is super swappable. it's not even that inconvenient or difficult these days. have the plant-based option. or make it yourself.

eg. in your iced coffee, have plant milk and/or a plant-based coffee cream rather than cow's milk. there's so many kinds - almond, oat, soy, coconut, hazelnut, cashew, etc. I know even a few companies have made plant milks that taste very close to cow's milk (eg. Silk's 'Next Milk'). and making your own plant milk can easily be done in a blender, juicer, or plant milk maker.

hm, but if you're suggesting that sugar is the thing that you really wanna stop having so much of, lemme suggest something. focus on eating things with nutritional value still intact (i.e. whole foods). it's completely fine to seek out sweet flavors (in the form of unrefined sugars/carb-rich foods) because they are nutritionally dense & healthy fuel. have ripe fruit, maple syrup, coconut sugar, whole grains, molasses, root veggies, dates/date syrup, cane sugar juice, licorice root tea (please research contraindications before using!), dried fruit, cold pressed fruit juice. avoid refined/overly processed sugars for the most part, like white sugar, high fructose corn syrup, powdered sugar. you can still have everything you like. they'll just be made of more nourishing ingredients.

thanks for your question & compliment. I hope I was helpful :)

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Hot Peppers

Pairing: Geraskier

Warnings: i mean unless youre scared for life from a bad experience with spicy 

___________

"I'm not kissing you if you eat that." Geralt's nose crinkled in disgust at the plate of hot pickled peppers a barfly had challenged Jaskier to eat. 

"What? These?" Jaskier, with his flair for the dramatic, stabbed a fork through one and held it under his nose,  the acids bringing tears to his eyes, "Don't be daft, they're just peppers." 

Geralt pointed at him with a fork full of blandly seasoned meat and a small chunk of cheese, "I'm not kidding. Your mouth will not make contact with my body if you eat even one." Geralt regretted it as soon as he said the words, seeing Jaskier’s eyes light up at what he took as a challenge. 

Turning back to the original challenger, Jaskier smirked, “I never was one to back down. Here goes.” He toasted the idiot across from them and popped the whole thing in his mouth, biting off the stem with a rather disgusting squelch. 

Geralt sighed and shook his head, watching as his bard slowly went from pale to crimson, looking more like a tomato than human after a moment. When he ate the second one his heart started beating furiously. On pepper number three he was sweating. By the time he finished the plate, Jaskier was nearly dancing around the table, but he still hadn’t taken a drink of ale. 

The local grumbled in bitter disappointment as he handed over the few gold pieces he’d wagered and disappeared as Jaskier downed his, and then Geralt’s ale. 

“Was it worth it?” Geralt asked, handing him a chunk of cheese meant to suffocate the fire.

Jaskier just grunted, popping the dairy in this mouth and straddling the bench next to him, resting his forehead on Geralt’s shoulder. 

“Can I say ‘I told you so’ yet?”

Jaskier shook his head with a high pitched whine as Geralt flagged down the barmaid for more ale, cold if they had it. 

-------

Hours later, after Jaskier had eaten his weight in cheese and nearly drowned in ale, he was finally able to breathe normally and his heart slowed enough to ease Geralt’s nerves. 

“Geralt,” Jaskier called from the sink in their room, “I can’t feel my tongue.”

The witcher felt a pang of adoration despite the ridiculousness of it all, “I told you so.”

The bard shot him a pout over his shoulder, now brushing his teeth vigorously and attempting to speak around the brush, “Doo shoonb”

Geralt grinned back at him, settling into the chair in the corner with his leather polish and Roach’s bridle. He only managed to clean her chinstrap before the leather was being tugged from his hands and his bard fell into his lap.

“Kiss it better?” Jaskier asked, wrapping his arms around Geralt’s shoulders, one hand cupping the back of his neck in a way that always made him shiver. 

Geralt sighed and leaned his forehead against his bard’s, “No.”

“Geralt!” Jaskier’s whine of protest only made his smile widen.

“I warned you.”

“But I brushed my teeth!”

“I can still smell it. If I can smell it, it’ll definitely burn.”

Jaskier leaned back against Geralt’s arm keeping him from falling off his lap and rolled his eyes, “A kiss for your lover isn’t worth a little spicy burn?”

Geralt brushed his fingers through his bard’s soft, dark hair, doing his best not to look him in those irresistible blue eyes, “If it were just peppercorn, then it would be.”

Jaskier gently gripped Geralt’s wrist, bringing his palm to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on his callouses. When he saw his witcher’s jaw clench, not in the way it was supposed to, he heaved a deep sigh and clasped the hand between both of his. 

“Those damned senses.” 

Geralt hummed in agreement, pulling his bard close to his chest, resting his chin on the crown of his head when the brunet nuzzled into him. His arm draped over Jaskier’s back, hand resting on his shoulder where his thumb lazily drifted back and forth over the edge of his clavicle. It didn’t matter to Geralt how often they touched, he always did his best to commit every moment perfectly to memory. These were the nights he wanted to remember in his old age, not the beasts he fought or the nightmares that haunted him. He wanted to bottle up the peace and comfort for safekeeping when he needed it most. 

Jaskier was smoothing his fingers over the spot on his palm that still stung, his featherlight touch not doing much to soothe the pain, but it spoke of his apology. 

“I love you.” Geralt whispered his declaration as he pressed a kiss to the top of Jaskier’s head.

“I love you too. ...you big softie.” 

---------

Geralt woke to Jaskier gently tracing his fingers over his scars, head resting on the witcher's shoulder as he hummed a soft slow tune. He took another beat before opening his eyes, savoring the closeness and basking in the feeling of floating between states of consciousness. When he finally greeted the morning in earnest he was nearly blinded by the light from the window. As he squinted and willed his eyes to do their job, Jaskier propped himself up on an elbow to gaze lovingly down at him. 

His hair, tousled with sleep caught the light like a golden crown, "Good morning, darling." 

Even decades into their relationship, Geralt had to remember how to breathe with him so close sometimes, "Morning love." 

"Did I wake you?" Jaskier asked, resting a hand over Geralt's chest and his chin on the back of his knuckles. 

Geralt shook his head slightly, drinking in his ocean blue eyes like he'd never see them again. 

The bard frowned, "Did you have a bad dream?" 

Geralt simply shook his head again, a small smile gracing his lips. 

"Then why are you staring at me like that?" Jaskier giggled as he spoke, shaking the two of them ever so gently. 

The witcher tilted his head, bringing his hand up to draw a line down his lover's forehead to the tip of his nose, "You're exceptionally beautiful in the morning." 

"If I'd known all I had to do to hear such lovely words was be here when you wake, I'd have done it so much earlier." The blush in Jaskier's cheeks betrayed his cool words. 

"I try to talk more. I do." Geralt mumbled, tapping at Jaskier's bottom lip, momentarily fascinated by the little popping noise it made when he let it snap back up to it's partner. 

Jaskier shimmied up the bed to eye level with his Witcher to kiss him, a little passionate for such an early hour, but he'd been deprived the night before, "I know." 

For a moment Geralt was going to say something so sickeningly sweet even the bard might laugh at him, then the tingling and stinging reached his brain. 

"Ow! Oh shit. Fuck me, that's hot!? What the fuck kind of fucking torture peppers were those!?" He sat up, frantically wiping the spit off his lips, tongue, teeth, anything he could think of with his shirt sleeve.  

Jaskier rolled into his back, more than a little stunned, "You can still taste them? They were just habaneros." 

Geralt scrambled out of bed to turn on the sink, leaning over to stick his whole head under the faucet. 

"No! Geralt, that'll spread it around. Here, I've got some dried meat here somewhere…" Jaskier gripped him by his collar and pulled him away from the sink, keeping a grip on him as he dug through their packs. 

The salt did little to soothe the burn, but the chunks of smoked fat did wonders for his sensitive nerves. After a few minutes of chewing at the gummy tissue the sensation faded to the background and Geralt noticed the delight on Jaskier's face. 

"This isn't funny." 

Jaskier raked his teeth over his lower lip, "I never said it was." 

"You're practically giggling." Geralt argued, standing to spit the chunk of gristle out in the bin.

"You're just so cute. The infamous White Wolf taken down by the day old remnants of a pepper on his lover's lips." Jaskier crossed to him, resting his hands on his hips and laughing in earnest at the pout his words earned, "No more spicy then." 

Geralt kissed his forehead, "No more spicy." 

[junewild]

may we have your cupcake recipe? <3

HELL YEAH, thank u anon. i’ll give you vanilla, citrus, spice, and chocolate cupcakes & if you want anything else let me know! this is going to be stream-of-consciousness rather than linear recipe, because unfortunately that is how i bake. if you want a linear recipe, let me know which particular set of pieces you want and i can write it up for you. i’ll even guesstimate times and such.

BEFORE YOU READ FURTHER: this is very long. if you are not into cupcakes, bookmark this for later when you suddenly decide to make cupcakes and keep scrolling. now with new added read more for additional readability <3

making cupcakes takes me about two hours if i’m doing two batches or an hour and a half if i’m doing one. it might take you a little longer the first time because you don’t quite know what order to do things in or how long everything takes. i like to start my fillings first because they take longer to be ready, then turn on my oven, then mix my batter, then make the frosting while cupcakes are baking.

SUPPLIES

you will need: a cupcake tin, cupcake wrappers, at least one large mixing bowl (2 is recommended to avoid a lot of washing dishes between steps), a hand mixer or a lot of elbow grease, spatula, whisk, small bowl, a small grater or microplaner, a piping tip + bag (or just a plastic bag with a hole cut in one corner) and at least one saucepan or small frying pan. measuring spoons/cups are useful but i’ve tried to include thicknesses and alternatives so you can eyeball it if you have to (i usually do, just because i know what i’m looking for lol)

you will also need some of the following (check your specific cupcake type to find out which): a box of cake mix or ingredients to make your own cake mix, cream cheese, condensed milk, butter, powdered sugar, lemons/limes/oranges, chocolate, vanilla extract (real is recommended; i know it’s more expensive but the increase in quality is worth it if you can), lemon extract, heavy cream, pumpkin pie spice (or at least nutmeg + cinnamon), and fruit of your choice.

CUPCAKE

okay so: box mix is fine. it’s good. great, even. as long as you do this: replace the oil with butter. add an extra egg. i don’t care how many eggs it calls for. i know it feels like a lot of eggs. add an egg anyway. add a sprinkle of extra salt. a tsp or so. you’ve already made a good cupcake!

vanilla:

add a tablespoon (about three capfuls, if you don’t have measuring spoons) of REAL vanilla extract if you can afford it (or i really like the vanilla paste that has specks of bean in it. 10/10)

citrus:

one teaspoon (one capful) vanilla extract. two-ish teaspoons of lemon extract. zest of one lemon. zest of one orange (i like blood orange particularly much) or lime. replace 1/2 cup of the water with lemon and lime or orange juice. add about a tbsp of extra sugar.

spice:

two teaspoons pumpkin pie spice (you can see the spice in the batter without it discoloring the batter) + one tablespoon vanilla extract.

chocolate:

it’s already perfect xoxo. JUST KIDDING. add a tablespoon of vanilla extract.

instructions:

these ratios are for 24 cupcakes. take your cupcake pan and line it with cupcake papers. you can grease the top of the pan if you’re anxious, but it shouldn’t be necessary, especially if you have a nonstick pan. then just mix your batter until it’s not particularly lumpy and fill your cupcake papers about a third of the way full. a quarter cup measure is easiest for me to use bc the amount that easily comes out of it is about the right amount & it drips less than a spoon does. then i like to use a spoon to push the batter up the sides a little so it holds the fillings better.

FILLINGS

you can mix and match the hell out of these, honestly. i typically do cheesecake in everything & then fruit in vanilla or citrus cupcakes, specifically apple or cranberry in spice cupcakes, & chocolate in vanilla or chocolate cupcakes.

cheesecake:

one package softened cream cheese + 10 oz (2/3 a 14 oz can) condensed milk. stir on low heat until smooth, then add 2 teaspoons vanilla extract. DON’T add sugar. it’s not supposed to be very sweet.

fruit compote:

literally just half a cup or so of frozen or fresh fruit. i’ve done this with raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, cranberries, apples (fresh and cubed is best), and peaches. anything is fair game, honestly. i want to try stewed kumquats and plums at some point. if frozen, add a tiny bit of water. if fresh, add about as much water as you have fruit. squeeze some lemon and lime in there. add sugar to taste. for the apple spice mix, add another teaspoon of vanilla and a teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice.

IMPORTANT: you do NOT want this to be sweet. this is NOT jam. it should be a little tart when you taste it. if it’s not thick enough, slurry a tbsp of cornstarch in a little bit of cold water and stir it in. it should be thick enough to not drip off of a spoon when you turn it upside down.

ganache:

heat a cup of heavy cream on very low heat. i like to do a double boiler: saucepan half-full of water, bowl full of cream in the saucepan. when the cream is warm, stir in most of a package of dark chocolate chips. stir HARD—whisk the shit out of it. DO NOT let any of the water get into the bowl!! you want the ganache to be gloppy when you lift it with a spoon—it has to not soak into the cupcake mix.

instructions:

so you have your 1/3 full cupcake wrappers with the batter spooned a little bit up the sides. using a small kitchen spoon, drop a spoonful of cheesecake into each cupcake. then top that with a spoonful of ganache or a spoonful of fruit compote (or both! it’s your kitchen!). spoon batter over the top and down the sides. fully covered, it should come to just under the top of the cupcake wrapper—i usually have 1/4 to 1/8 of an inch grace.

pop that in the oven according to the box instructions. i usually find that cupcakes with fillings take the longer time listed, rather than the shortest one. when your time goes off, touch the top of a cupcake. if it feels firm (think: ripe plum; you can push on it and it’s soft but it doesn’t cave in), it’s probably done. you can also put a toothpick down one of the sides, rather than the middle. pull your cupcakes out of the oven, put in your second batch, and set these aside to cool.

FROSTINGS

there are two frostings that go well here. i tend to like buttercream for vanilla and citrus and cream cheese for apple spice and chocolate. your mileage may vary. this is where the sweetness comes from, without overwhelming the cupcake!

buttercream:

let two sticks of butter (one unsalted and one salted) soften on your countertop. DON’T melt them. when they’re room temperature and you could mold them with your fingers, put them in a bowl. a mixer is best for this stage, but you can do it with a whisk and spatula if you’re determined, have patience, or can switch out with someone else. whip the butter a little. add five cups of powdered sugar, a cup at a time.

for a vanilla cupcake, add a tablespoon of vanilla extract (or vanilla paste! the specks are SO cool looking!) and use heavy cream to even out the texture until you think it’s pipeable (you’re looking for “holds its shape without being Chunky”). for a citrus cupcake, add a teaspoon of citrus extract and lime juice until it’s pipeable. two sticks of butter is too much, but one stick usually isn’t quite enough, and i prefer to have extra to practice piping with.

cream cheese frosting:

let one package (8oz) of cream cheese soften on your countertop. mix it in a bowl until smooth. add about four cups (3/4 a regular water cup, i think) of powdered sugar—again, we’re looking for “pipeable without being inflexible”. add a tablespoon of vanilla extract/paste and use heavy cream if you need to soften the texture at all.

both of these frostings take coloring very well. something that i personally love is doing a sort of gradient, where i’ll add red to one side and mix it well, yellow to another side and mix it well, make some orange in the middle, and leave some white here and there. then spoon from each section into a piping bag and voila, free beautiful swirls. you can also use a knife to frost your cupcakes, but i think piping is fairly easy to pick up on if you try it a few times, and it makes your cupcakes look that much more professional.

instructions:

make SURE your cupcakes are COOL TO THE TOUCH before you frost them! pop them in the fridge if you’re in a hurry! a single layer of piping should be enough, but decorate if you want. icing sugar is pretty. don’t go too overboard with sprinkles—they make it hard to eat.

voila! cupcakes.

SUBSTITUTIONS

i have made these gluten-free, dairy-free, corn-free, vegan, etc etc. gluten free box mix is fine. your own powdered sugar (powdered sugar + tapioca starch) is great. you can do a coconut milk pudding instead of cheesecake or ganache. you can do baking soda + vinegar instead of baking powder (1/4 tsp bs + 1/2 tsp vinegar per tsp baking powder). if you’re allergic to fruit, i am SO SORRY for you but please try the chocolate ones. you can substitute any extract, any flavor profile, any combination of ingredients. if you’re using a commercial egg substitute, just add an extra 1/4 cup of it. if you’re using flaxseed, just add an extra tablespoon of flaxseed + 3 tablespoons water.

it may not come out exactly the same as the standard ones, but my friends with dietary restrictions still swear by them. i have never brought cupcakes home from a party. i don’t think anyone who’s ever tried one has not gotten a second helping. people who swear they aren’t cupcake people love these cupcakes. (it’s because they aren’t overly sweet or moist or dry and they aren’t one-note, because the fillings add complexity of texture and flavor. there you go, now you know how to describe your new cupcakes to people).

congrats! you’re about to be everyone’s favorite party guest!

[epic-sorcerer]

(Okay so for those of y’all who are like me and sensitive to people talking bad about stuff they like/general negativity, I’d advise scrolling away. I’ll be talking about a bad experience at Dairy Queen, as I am a sheltered kid of a Heath coach and sensitive to sugar. Do I like the food? No. Do I dislike the people who like the food? Also no. I’m glad people can enjoy something at such a low price. /gen)

If you like this chain, that’s cool. I have found memories of once eating fair Queen when I was really young. Once a vanilla ice cream and once chicken fingers and fries. Honestly I mgiht try the chicken again

However.

I saw a commercial aboht this chocolate chip cookie doe blizzard and I was like “cool” and went on with my life. Days past, it is now the present. It’s a hot day and I wanted ice cream and I was like “:0 what about taht Dairy Queen thing!!”

So I convinced my Heath coach mom to drive us to Dairy Queen. She got a brownie ice cream thing, I got the blizzard. She also needed to get what ever by bio father asked for and bring it. I forgot what that was Bc he ended up having to choose something else bc the machine that made the original thing he wanted what broken.

He chose a chocolate shake and the guy took so long to make it. When mom got to the car where I was the blizzard had melted and I couldn’t do taht upside down thing. Secondly, they don’t have a lid that fits the blizzard cup. They instead have a big lid that balences on top the cup like a comically large hat

On the way home, as the blizzard melted, it started to drip onto my cupholder. Who ever decided aesthetic of a no-lid cup was cool can lick the inside of my cup holder. It’s so sticky. I understand they wanted it to look overflowing with stuff, but it’s not worth it.

Also. The taste.

BORING. UNINSPIRED. Every bite was the same and worse than the last, because my body steadily reacted worse and worse to the discusting amount of sugar. To cover this up, I put some Nutella in it and it was the only thing to make it tasteful. Bc it would otherwise, forlack of a better word, plastic ice cream.

I love everything cookie doe, but every thing jsut felt stale and boring. Like if a beisnuss man with his boring ass briefcase and suit was blended up with the fucking cookie doe. Ugh. It’s like hwat would happen if pretzels had normal salt instead of the big salt. The do it for a reason, it keeps each bite interesting and different.

This blizzard tasted like cookie flavored dry wall, exept it didn’t have the crunchy texture. Honestly, the texture wasn’t that bad really. The only decent part Tbh. I liked that they had cookie doe pellits and skinny chocolate chip squares. That was really the only good thing about it and even then it was okay.

Something about Dairy Queen is so bland, corporate, and safe. The ice cream version of McDonald’s. This “flavor” tastes like the sheer generic-ness of modern graphic design. The corporate artstyle.

Mom had this brownie ice cream thing. She said the brownie bits felt like dog treat pellets and she kept chewing and chewing but it never got destroyed.

We both had the awful feeling of the neutrition-less sludge settling inside our bodies. It felt awful, it almost hurt. To compensate, I ate a foot long, raw carrot but I still feel awful. It felt like I ate from burger lord from good omens.

At least with family owned ice cream, you can feel the love in it. One near where I live is simply named after a popular first name for a person. You get the feeling taht the person really exists and has a passion for ice cream. But I do not know who this Diary Queen is, it just sounds like a worse Freddy murcury. Like he ate cheese right before a show and his voice is suffering from not obeying the Singers Diet.

Even cold stone creamery is much better. Even if it is a big chain, there is still heart. There is emphasis and love for the employees’ ice cream mixing talents. They put on a show like mild habatchi and we watch in awe as they make our treat in font of us with such skill. Idk hwo well the cold stone employees are treated, but still. To the average customer, there is much more emphasis and appreciation aboht them compared to Dairy Queen

The guy at Dairy Queen took like way too long to make a fucking milkshake. I’m not blaming the guy, I’m Blaiming the company. I’m blaming whoever contributed to someone struggling with making a milkshake. Because that is not a happy or maybe even well trained employee.

By the way, it apparently tasted awful and watery, despite the fact the best part of the shake is the ice cream. Dairy Queen centers on ice cream. How did they fuck this up?

Anyways. I still feel sick. We all do. I did have fun complaining though. It’s nice that Dairy Queen puts “(treat)” after their name and almost everything they sell, implying they are a sometimes food. However, I feel they are more of a once a life time food. I dotn think I will ever buy from them again.

I feel the onyl reason my past memories were fond were bc of the context. The first one was when me and my family back in elementary school were driving a long way to a vacation spot and we stopped at a Dairy Queen that makes savory meals. I had fun bc I was exited for the vacation, the food itself was mediocre and cheap but I didn’t care.

The second time was also in elementary, I went to a Dairy Queen with a friend and her family and had lots of fun with them on a hot day. It’s the experience I was remembering, not the taste.

At least when you pay for stuff like fairs and festivals, the horrible conditions are worth it. Yes, you have to use portapottys, yes you have to be in close proximity to way too much peopel, but you are paying directly for a positive experience.

With Dairy Queen you are paying for an “edible”supstance and it is your choise if you also want to have fun.

[homosociallyyours]

☕/what surprising things should/shouldn't be refrigerated

Also got an anon asking this LOL thank you for indulging me!!!

So, caveat: if you live alone and are buying a large size of these things, you might need to refrigerate them to extend their life. But if you share food with multiple people or buy enough to eat with a week or two, you should be ok. 

I’ve put this behind a cut because i had a lot to say!! Replies are open if anyone wants to disagree or ask more questions, but I hold these opinions very firmly so I’m not going to debate about a better way to store food. You can do whatever you prefer, and as long as you aren’t serving people things made with unrefrigerated mayo you’re probably fine!! 

Produce: Refrigerate your apples. BUT BUT...listen, they’re edible out of the fridge, and they’ll absolutely keep. The reason to refrigerate them is to maintain a crisp, not mealy, texture. So if your apple plans including cooking, nbd. But if you’re just going to eat them plain it’s fridge land. 

Pears, however, should stay on the counter until they’re almost ripe (the stem end yields slightly to gentle pressure) and then refrigerated. If you think they’re almost there but you aren’t sure: fridge them. Pears will turn to mush in a heartbeat. 

Lemons/limes/citrus go in the fridge. This is just a matter of them keeping longer. Their ideal temp is a little higher than refrigeration (think 55 degrees F/13 C), so it won’t make loads of difference unless it’s summertime and you don’t have AC. 

Most herbs, but especially basil and cilantro: set them in a glass of water on the countertop that you refresh every couple of days, and trim their ends. Treat them like flowers! 

Tomatoes should only go in the fridge once they’re cut. If they’re getting ripe, EAT THEM! If they have a soft moldy spot, cut it away and eat the ripe fruit that day! Refrigerated tomatoes are a heartbreak because the texture is drastically effected. Mealy mushy bleh. 

Stone fruit: KEEP IT ON THE COUNTER! Check daily for bruises/spots and eat right away. Only refrigerate when the fruit is ripe. You know the poem about the plums in the icebox? WCW’s friend was smart and ripened those babies on the counter and then refrigerated them when they were ready. If you somehow find/buy already ripened stone fruit, don’t wait around: eat it immediately. The texture of peaches, like tomatoes, changes quickly based on temperature shifts. Time in the fridge results in a mealy peach. Boo. 

This isn’t for storage, but a good tip if your greens have gone limp: fill a bowl with enough lukewarm water to cover, and trim the ends of your greens. Let them sit for a minute or so-- use the cast off water for plants if you can --and then put them back in the crisper drawer overnight. Your greens will be unwilty! Cook them immediately, though, bc while they’ll look refreshed this trick doesn’t actually stop them from rotting. 

And another storage tip: Trim the ends of your asparagus and keep them in a glass standing upright with a bit of water in the bottom. Change out the water every couple days, and DO NOT let the heads of your asparagus get wet: they will turn into mush FAST. 

Dairy:  Hard cheese can (and ideally should) be stored at room temperature. This includes Parmigiano, Pecorino Romano, Grana Padano, and other blocks of hard cheese (hard cheese at room temp won’t bend and usually won’t break cleanly-- it will typically crumble. In case you’re wondering if you’re dealing with hard cheese or not). HOWEVER, it’s very appealing for pests so it’s best to store it in a container that allows it to breathe (wood is best) and with a wax paper/cheese paper wrapper on the cheese itself. Scrape the surface gently before use. If your kitchen is very hot (regularly over 75F) and you don’t plan on finishing the cheese within about 10-12 days, you should keep it in the fridge. It’ll keep much longer there, literally months if you scrape it before use and wrap it properly. 

Firm cheese can (and ideally should) be at room temp for about 24 hours before eating if you’re planning on consuming the whole piece. Same temp rules apply as above. Firm cheese will bend at room temp and may have a craggy looking yet clean break, and will just start to squish when pressed between 2 fingers. If your cheese squishes completely at room temp, with a lumpy, jagged break when bent, it’s likely only semi-hard and shouldn’t be out as long.

Typical US Eggs, which are washed before being sold, should be kept refrigerated and only held at room temp for a few hours if being used in a recipe that requires it. Eggs sold outside the US are often unwashed and therefore meant to be kept on the counter/at room temp. If you have chickens or get eggs directly from someone who does, they’re probably unwashed and should be kept on the counter until you wash them, at which point they get refrigerated.

Maple syrup is refrigerated after being opened, as are all jams. They’ll mold if left out. Honey never needs refrigerating, though.  Natural peanut butter (without extra oils or stabilizers) that is separated when you open it should be thoroughly mixed and then can be kept refrigerated for longer life or kept at room temp if you’re going to eat it within a month or so. Refrigeration here is to keep the delicate nut oils (heh) from going rancid. But truth time, I think a lot of people don’t know what rancid nuts taste like? 

Bread products last longer in the fridge (if you’re eating them over the course of 7-10 days) and stay completely fresh in the freezer for a couple months. 

If you’ve seen someone keeping flour, sugar, etc in the fridge or freezer, the reason for that is to keep moths/weevils/kitchen pests out of them. If you’re not going through your flour/baking supplies quickly, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself, bc nothing is worse than preparing something to bake only to find a bug crawling around in it. :((((

I think that’s all my thoughts on food and proper storage! But uhhh if anyone actually read this and has a burning question i’m here lol 

[ionlycareaboutyou]

henlo it is me sending u a prompt!! u can pick either pairing that u mentioned i don't mind but can u do them moving in together for the first time, specifically dealing with all the weird quirks + household habits that you discover when you start sharing a space with someone? what odd things do each of them do + what makes the other person annoyed or enamoured? ty ily 💖

hello thank u! i thought i’d do sethon for this one bc it seemed fitting for them! ily 2! this turned out SOOO sappy so i’m sorry if it gives you a toothache fkdajs

cw for smoking and references to sex

After their wedding, they go to Seth’s place right away, skipping the cast and crew after-party to drink wine in bed and kiss, undressing each other slowly and almost carefully. Their lips are stained and bittersweet, and Seth’s delighted to find that Stefon had worn something pretty under his skinny jeans and Ed Hardy shirt.

“I can’t believe I almost let Anderson have this,” Seth half-jokes, mouth hot over the lacy front of Stefon’s panties.

He giggles. “I knew you’d chase after me.”

“Am I that predictable?” Seth quirks an eyebrow, one hand coming up to squeeze and stroke his husband’s inner thigh.

“Mm...not predictable...stubborn,” Stefon replies, then lifts his hips up a bit. “Now, can we please consummate this marriage, Seth Meyers?”

“Is it considered consummating if we’ve done this before marriage?” Fabric is pushed to the side. A kiss is pressed to a sensitive place. A gasp echoes in the room.

“Well--oh--no, I think that just makes us sinners.” Hands thread in between dark hair that’s streaked with silver.

“Sounds about right,” Seth decides, and shuts up from there on out. 

Afterwards, they’re thoroughly exhausted, but manage to keep their eyes open for a little longer, to clean themselves up and brush their teeth side by side. When he looks up in the mirror, Seth is struck at the tender image of them, and he can perfectly picture a future where this is an everyday occasion. 

They slide into bed, legs entwining and lips pressed to jaws, necks, underneath ears. “I want to ask something,” Seth says, before he can forget it and drift off. 

“Mm, ‘kay.”

“You wanna move in with me?” He lets his hands run up Stefon’s chest and over those broad shoulders that have been a subject of maybe ten different fantasies.

Stefon cracks one eye open. “Like, here?”

“‘Course. Where else? I mean, if it’s too soon--”

He gives a light and airy giggle. “We’re married, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we are,” Seth replies, a finger trailing up his husband’s neck. “But I’m open to whatever you’d like, I don’t know if you’re really attached to that apartment.”

Stefon doesn’t actually live in a garbage can like he joked about once on Update, but it’s barely a step up from one. Seth had picked him up from the place a few times, and Stefon always claimed that he was barely there, it was a place to sleep every other night if nothing else. It’s a tiny studio above a shady drugstore that keeps odd hours and always has flickering lights. The ceilings are low, and Seth isn’t sure how Stefon manages to get around with his long legs without hitting his head constantly. So it’s not really a surprise when he says, “No, not too attached. I like it here better. My lease is up next month anyway.”

“Good.” He gives him a sleepy smile. “I’ll help you move.”

“Perfect,” Stefon says, and nestles his face into Seth’s neck. They’re asleep within minutes.

--

Stefon doesn’t own too many things, but what he does own is extravagant. The closet in Seth’s--their bedroom is suddenly filled with color. The top row of shirts are a mix of patterns and neon and pastel and strange sayings. The bottom row is filled with button ups in neutral colors: greys and blues and light greens, and maybe a plaid patterned one to switch things up. It’s apparent to anyone whose clothes are whose. The living room is decorated with strange and abstract art that Stefon got from friends. Each tiny sculpture or painting or sketch has a story. Russian and French literature in their original languages joins British literature on the bookshelf. Boots with sequins and heels go next to loafers in the coat closet. Intricate and pretty bongs are not very well hidden in the living room. It’s something that requires adjusting, that’s for sure, but Seth loves it. He loves the color that his husband brings to their home, and his life.

There are other things that require adjustment, too, and they’re a bit harder to adjust to than the new things that clutter their place. Seth knew Stefon kept weird hours, but experiencing it firsthand is another thing. He’ll roll over at 3 AM, open bleary eyes, and find the other side of the bed is empty. Stefon is pacing in the living room, feet light and silent, like some sort of cat. Seth always tells him to come back to sleep and Stefon will tilt his head, eyes half lidded as he nods slowly and waves a hand. He’ll slip between the sheets sometime before the crack of dawn. Seth will sometimes ask in the morning why he woke up, and Stefon will shrug and say “I was just thinking”. It’s something that they’ll work up to, Seth reminds himself.

They find differences that they didn’t notice before. Seth wears socks in the house, often mismatched, and often a point of teasing by his husband. “No one sees them except you!” He insists. “They’re no-shows!” Stefon, on the other hand, wears slippers that slide across the tile floor of the kitchen every morning, or just pads around barefoot with his toes always painted a different color. Bark Ruffalo usually trails behind him.

Stefon has an interesting affinity for healthy vegan food despite not being vegan himself. The freezer has dairy free ice cream (that, Seth has to admit, isn’t so bad) in it, and one week Stefon finds himself on a kale salad kick and eats them for dinner nearly every night. Seth can’t understand the appeal, but Stefon is the one who does most of the grocery shopping, so Seth is just quietly amused by the presence of all the green foods in his pantry and fridge. It doesn’t stop them from drinking sweet wine now and then, or buying a small cake just to buy one and kissing the frosting off the corner of each other’s lips.

Seth quit smoking a few years ago, but sometimes he’ll smell smoke from the balcony of their place, and Stefon will be out there, smoking a long and skinny cigarette and looking over the city. “It’s not good for you,” Seth always says, even though they’ve smoked together plenty of times outside of 30 Rock. 

“I know,” Stefon says, one time. “But I can’t stop giving in to peer pressure. Everyone tells me I won’t be cool if I don’t smoke.” His voice is adjacent to a bad Fonz impression.

Seth kisses his lips, not minding the smoky taste at all. “I thought coming out here while you were smoking would make me crave a smoke, but--”

“Oh, I know what you crave, Seth Meyers. I can see it in your eyes.” They kiss some more, until Seth pulls him inside so they don’t get in trouble for balcony-indecency.

Despite their many differences, there’s things in their life that come together with incredible ease. Their shower schedules match up perfectly; Seth in the morning, Stefon in the evening, but it doesn’t stop them from sharing one every now and then. They still brush their teeth side by side in the morning when they’re both up at the same time, smiling around their toothbrushes when they make eye contact. Sometimes Stefon will prefer to languish in bed while Seth gets ready for the day, but he stays awake until Seth leaves so he can give him a goodbye kiss.

Within weeks, they’ve “christened” every room of their place, and found out countless things about each other, and they’ve had moments where they’ve been frustrated and they’ve needed time apart, for just a few hours. But they always come back, they always curl into bed at the end of the day, closely intertwined with their dog at the foot of the bed. Lips will press against lips, jaws, ears, foreheads. It doesn’t feel like the first time every time, rather, it feels better than the first time. There’s new things to discover and fall in love with and laugh about together every day.

[vavarekings]

 The Best of VAV Baron’s Kindness

In honor of Baron’s upcoming birthday, I’ve decided to celebrate by dedicating an informative post to him every day. (2/5) I 100% mean to brag, but Baron’s a beautiful soul and I’m eternally grateful that he was born. Enjoy~

Happy Birthday Baron ( ˘ ³˘) ♡

[Baron going out of his way to teach Victor, a foreign vlogger, about Korean culture while speaking in English + bought him a present with his own money]

*VAV and Victor trying Dragon’s Beard Candy* Baron: [purchases some candy after tasting it because it’s delcious] Baron, cheerfully: “I got this!" *Baron and Victor are looking at jewelry boxes* Baron: [pointing to a jewelry box decorated with shells] “Uhh, this is a shell… peel?” Victor: “Oh, that’s so cool!” Baron: “Yeah! [Each piece is added] like this, one by one.” Victor: “It’s actually crafted by hand? Each?” Baron: “Yeah! Hand-craft… Koreans say ‘자개,’ [it means] ‘shell.’” Baron: [pulls out his own phone to look up that word to show Victor visual examples so he understands better] *Baron and Victor move on and look at wooden ducks* Baron: “[It’s meant to be a] life-long object.  Victor: “Oh I see, I’m learning a lot with [Baron] because I’ve been seeing a lot of these but I've not known what they mean.” Baron: “[They’re something that’s given] to a married couple… so they’ll be happy together... forever.” *after VAV finishes shopping* Baron, excitedly: “I’m giving the Dragon’s Beard Candy I bought to Victor~” Victor, surprised: “Oh... Thank you...” Baron, happily: “I hope you find it delicious~”

[Baron going to a convenience store at 6:30am to buy food for his colleagues with his own money]

Chung: “What do you eat on a morning like this?” Baron: “I eat this.” [gestures to the meal he likes] “Plus this.” Kim: “One item is too basic. How about a cup ramen as well?” Baron: “I only eat one ramen at a time....” *when they’re back from the convenience store* Baron: [handing Kim the corndog he warmed up for her] “How is it?” Kim: “It’s fine, thank you.” Baron: [continues heating up the rest of their food then goes to the kitchen] Kim: “Baron, what are you doing right now?” Baron: “I’m cleaning up right now [because] I’m going to make you a coffee. Do you want ice [in it]? I have [my coffees] iced~” [gives Kim and Chung coffees he prepared for them]

[Baron handmade custom desserts for a vlogger VAV collaborated with]

Baron: “I post a lot of content about making desserts on Vapp. I made mochirido [for you], this one has your face on it.” Host, excitedly showing the audience: “My face is on this!” Baron: [pleased that she likes the presentation of the desserts] “Mochirido is a Japanese dessert made with a tofu base. That one’s made with soy milk.” [places a clean plate in front of the host so she can put her dessert on it] Host: “I’m going to try mochirido made by an idol, how will it be?” Baron: “Since I didn’t know what you like, I made some with soy milk and others with [dairy] milk.” Host: [visually surprised because of how much thought Baron put into this. proceeds to try the dessert] Baron, nervously: “How is it? Is it okay? Please be honest.” Host: [goes on about how delicious it is with the sauce he made because of the feeling it gives the squishy mochi] Baron, finally relaxing: “Oh! I’m relieved! I’m so relieved...”

[When Ayno was underdressed for Prague’s December weather]

Baron: [smothering Ayno with a back hug] Ayno: [trying to escape from Baron’s hug] “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine…” Baron: [taking off his coat to give it to Ayno] Ayno: [refusing to accept Baron’s coat] “No. It’s yours hyung, it’s yours!” Baron, sweetly: “It’s okay~” Ayno: [finally accepts defeat and obediently stays still whilst Baron puts the coat on him] “…Okay. Well then, thank you…” Baron, talking to the camera: “I can’t leave Ayno like this, [in this cold weather without a coat].”

bonus under the cut~

*None of these clips have much dialogue, which made me unable to add them with the content above, but they’re still worth mentioning so here ya go~

Baron mouthing “did you eat? was it delicious?” to fans. This is something he does a lot, and not only to fans but to his members as well. He’s always worrying about the well-being of others.

Baron saying “Pong-ah!” while literally running to hug Jacob when he’s sad. Is one of the few members who doesn’t tease him for crying and keeps his arms around him the entire time.

Baron patiently teaching both Ace and a fan to skate, he teaches them how to maintain their balance and stand up when they fall.

Baron’s sole birthday wish is for the well-being of VAV, A Team, vampz, and his family. I mean, since it’s only a wish he could ask for anything but even then he still doesn’t ask for something materialistic or vain.

Baron literally getting down on his knees to sing twinkle twinkle little star to a little girl (unfortunately she ignored him bc she was already with Lou but Baron’s kind gesture remains).

Baron stopping to thank their translator for all the work he’s done. This hit me hard because I don’t often see celebrities, or others in positions of power, thanking the “little people” who help them. It’s really heart-warming to see that Baron appreciates everyone.

i could brag about him all day but i’ll stop here bc this is suuuper long already heheh oops

[sybcritics-blog]

( lee jooheon, cismale, he/him, 24. ) — CHOI JUNGWOO, better known to the authorities as VULCAN, has been working for the kumiho for around SIX YEARS as a JANITOR. rumor has it, they can be DARING & KALEIDOSCOPIC but also IRASCIBLE & SYBARITIC which is why blood-stained hands, all black wardrobes, crooked smirks, and weaponry makes me think of them.

hey  demons,  it  me,  ya  girl,  gem  ...  back  at  it  again,  only  this  time  my  character  is  worst  than  the  first  one.  which  is  saying  something  because  oof  minwoo  was  an  absolute  disaster  !  so  if  that  gives  you  any  idea  as  to  how  this  shithead  is  gonna  be,  that  should  be  a  clue  !  

again,  his  whole  backstory  isn't  completely  figured  out  but  i  have  what  i've  already  figured  out  below  the  cut,  as  well  as  his  basic  information,  personality  &  some  wanted  plots  i  have  for  him  ! 

if  you  want  to  plot  with  this  lil  pyro,  smash  that  like  button  &  i'll  come  to  you  !  or  of  course,  if  you  like  d*scord  better  than  tumblr  feel  free  to  add  me  on  there  (  @𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕂𝕃𝔼𝕍𝕠𝕊𝕊!#9330 )  &  we  can  plot  from  there  !

                                         BASIC INFORMATION.

full  name:  choi  jungwoo. nickname(s):  jun,  woo. age:  twenty-four. date  of  birth:  october  31st. birthplace:  daegu,  south  korea. current  location:  seoul,  south  korea. ethnicity:  korean. nationality:  korean. gender:  cismale. pronouns:  he  /  him  /  his. orientation:  pansexual. crew  position:  janitor. occupation:  instagram  model  /  youtuber.  (  eboy  basically  ig  ) language(s)  spoken: korean,  english,   chinese,  japanese,  spanish,  greek,  thai  &  french.

                                    PHYSICAL  APPEARANCE.

face  claim:  lee  jooheon  (  joohoney  )  of  monsta  x. hair  color:  changes  frequently,  currently  dark  brown. eye  color:  brown. height:  6  '  1  ". weight:  175. build:  athletic. tattoos:  far  too  many  to  count. piercings:  multiple  in  his  ears,  a  tongue  piercing,  nipple  piercings,  a  scar  on  his  right  brow  from  an  old  brow  piercing.

                                                       HEALTH.

physical  ailments:  alcohol  abuse,  drug  abuse  & lactose  intolerance. neurological  conditions:  back  pain  &  occasional  migraines. allergies:  pollen,  mold,  dairy,  shellfish. sleeping  habits: 3-4  hours  a  night,  restless. eating  habits:  mostly  junk  food,  fast  food  &  take-out  but  he  does  enjoy  going  to  fancy  places  every  once  in  a  while  as  well  as  cooking  meals  at  home. exercise  habits:  jogs  every  morning,  is  in  a  boxing  group  that  meets  every  week. body  temperature: hot  natured. addictions:  alcohol,  tobacco,  drugs  &  sex. drug  use: frequent. alcohol  use: frequent.

                                          PERSONALITY. ( PT 1. )

label:  the  cataclysmic. positive  traits:  daring  &  kaleidoscopic. negative  traits:  irascible  &  sybaritic. fears:  large  bodies  of  water. hobbies:  boxing,  card  games,  video  games,  reading,  cooking,  comic  books,  jogging. habits: tbd. quirks:  tbd.

                                                 FAVORITES.

season:  fall. color(s):  black,  red,  green. music:  isn’t  super  picky,  doesn't  care  for  country. movies:  mostly  action,  suspense,  horror  &  comedy. sport(s):  watches  baseball  &  hockey. beverage(s):  anything  but  sparkling  water. food:  fast  food. animal:  dogs.

                                                     FAMILY.

father: tba. mother: tba. sibling(s):  younger sibling, nineteen. children:  n/a. pet(s):  german  sheppard  puppy. family’s  financial  status:  upper  class.

                                                     EXTRAS.

zodiac sign:  scorpio. mbti:  entp-a.  (  the  debater  ) enneagram:  type  eight. (  the  challenger  ) temperament:  choleric. hogwarts  house:  slytherin. moral  alignment:  chaotic neutral. primary  vice:  lust. primary  virtue:  pride. element: fire.

                                                BIOGRAPHY.

born  in  daegu  sk  to  a  lawyer  and  a  police  officer,  jun's  life  was  always  pretty strict.

they  always  made  sure  he  was  living  like  they  wanted  him  to,  cracking  down  and  making  sure  he  was  behaving  &  that  his  grades  were  at  the  top  of  his  class.

little  did  they  know  that  their  son  found  ways  around  having  to  obey  everything  they  said,  sneaking  out  of  his  bedroom  window  to  roam  the  streets  of  daegu  in  the  middle  of  the  night  &  things  like  that.

that's  also  where  he  first  found  his  interest  in  fire,  seeing  people  mess  with  small  bonfires  /  fireworks  all  the  time  caused  him  to  grow  curious.

so  one  night  on  one  of  his  adventures,  he  approached  a  group  of  kids  that  were  probably  only  a  few  years  older  than  him  and  they  allowed  him  into  their  group  &  allowed  him  to  start  messing  with  the  fireworks  himself.

it  was  from  that  moment  on  that  he  started  to  rebel  a  little  bit  more  with  each  day  that  passed,  eventually  sneaking  out  &  staying  gone  the  entire  night  only  to  sneak  back  up  through  his  window,  get  2  hrs  of  sleep  and  then  head  to  school.

parents  never  figured  out  about  it  though,  he  was  good  at  lying  to  them  &  anyone  with  any  sort  of  'authority'  so  he  was  able  to  continue  pleasing  them  &  pretending  to  be  this  pefect  son  all  while  living  the  life  he  actually  wanted  to  live.

the  only  thing  that  came  as  a  shock  to  his  parents  was  him  moving  out  at  the  age  of  sixteen,  getting  his  own  apartment  and  whatnot  so  he'd  stop  having  to  hide  how  he  wanted  to  live  or  have  to  sneak  out  of  his  own  home.

however,  to  them,  they  just  thought  he  wanted  to  become  more  of  an  adult  &  so  they  never  really  questioned  it  or  checked  up  on  him  without  warning.

he  had  just  turned  eighteen  when  he  was  approached  by  the  mastermind  after  getting  into  a  fight  at  a bustling  club,  leaving  the  other  person  laid  out  on  the  ground  while  jun  barely  had  any  injuries  whatsoever.  

the  mastermind  offered  a  job,  keep  people  quiet  or  clean  up  after  the  ones  who  can't  and  you'll  get  paid  shit  tons  of  money...  who  was  jun  to  turn  that  offer  down?

a  few  months  after  that  is  when  his  instagram  persona  started  forming,  posting  his  outfits  on  the  app  started  to  cause  people  to  follow  him  &  ask  for  more...  n  before  he  knew  it,  he  was  getting  agents  messaging  him  offering  to  be  HIS  agent  &  allow  him  to  make  even  more  money  just  by  posting  the  simplest  of  things  on  a  daily  basis.

again,  who  was  he  to  really  turn  down  the  offer?  especially  considering  the  fact  he'd  already  grown  a  taste  for  all  things  expensive.

&  thus,  jun's  double  life  began  once  more,  though  this  time,  both  sides  of  his  life  were  things  he  truly  enjoyed.

                                       PERSONALITY. ( PT 2. )

the  Worst...

short-tempered  as  heck,  will  snap  on  people  for  breathing  in  his  direction  wrong  if  he's  in  one  of  those  moods...

loves  violence... it's  a  problem.  will be  that  asshole  who  starts  bar  fights  just  so  he  can  fight  someone  ksfjghsdf

.... if  you  haven't  figured  it  out,  the  boy  loves  to  play  with  fire.  constantly  burns  stuff,  always  tries  to  take  things  of  other  peoples  to  burn  them.  also  likes  to  ... possibly  set  empty  buildings  on  fire  only  to  watch  them  burn  down.  yike.

can  be  extremely  goofy  &  joking  one  moment  and  then  the  biggest  grumpy  asshole  the  next.  all  really  depends  on  his  mood  at  the  time.

when  he's  in  a  good  mood  though,  he  loves  to  mess  with  people  &  joke  around  or  just  go  explore  the  area.  day  trips  are  his  favorite  thing  in  the  world  even  though  he  won't  admit  to  it.

however,  when  he  isn't.... don't  mess  with  him  bc  he  will probably  try  and  snap  ur  head  off  or  yell  at  you  for  the  dumbest  shit.  probably  figures  out  he's  being  a  dick  a  little  too  late  but  will  still  own  up  to  it  and  apologize  eventually.

a  bit  of  a  wild  card,  honestly.  you  never  know  what  mood  he's  going  to  be  in  or  what's  going  on  in  his  head  at  any  given  moment.

a  heaux,  shock  shock...  but  like  actually  really  bad  abt  it,  constantly  has  some  new  hook  up  or  something  like  that.

this  is  a  work  in  progress  as  well  so  that's  all i've  got  atm

                                                   PLOT IDEAS.

someone  from  his  past  who  knows  that  his  father  is  a  police  officer  &  constantly  gets  on  his  ass  for  all  the  stupid  shit  he  does  bc  they  don't  want  him  getting  caught  let  alone  his  own  father  finding  out.

his  go  to  person  for  all  things  stupid  as  fuck.  getting  high  on  the  roof?  check.  getting  drunk  &  dancing  on  the  bar?  check.  walking  around  seoul  at  4  in  the  morning?  check.

the  fire  &  ice  combination  we  all  want  for  our  muses,  they  fight,  bicker,  try  to  throw  hands  w  each  other  even  but  at  the  end  of  the  day,  they  actually  care  about  one  another.

someone  who's  able  to  see  the  softer  side  of  jun,  either  by  just  being  around  for  his  'down'  days,  or  finding  out  that  a  sleepy  /  just  woke  up  jun  has  a  tendency  to  be  soft  and  a  tiny  bit  needy.

the  jokester  friend  who's  always  pranking  jun  &  jun  tries  to  one  up  them  &  get  his  revenge.

the  LOATHING  plot...  idk  what  it  would  be  for  but  they  just  literally  can't  stand  each  other  &  they  make  sure  it's  known  to  the  world.

someone  who  puts  up  with  his  instagram  persona  and  goes  on  shopping  trips  &  appears  in  the  dumb  videos  he  uploads  to  both  instagram  &  youtube.

speaking of,,,,,  the  'dating'  rumor.  basically  they're  really  close  friends  &  are  seen  by  the  media  together  a  lot  so  people  just  assume  they're  a  thing  &  start  getting  hashtags  about  them  trending  as  well  as  all  the  other  fun  stuff  that  goes  along  with  that.

will  add  more  as  they  come  to  mind  !

[quicksilversquared]

There’s No Camembert in Tibet Outtakes: Chapter 4

I apologize for n o t h i n g.

Plagg’s Songbook

How Cheese is Made

Milk! Culture! Rennet!

The magic potion, oh, let it sit!

Cut it into curds- not too early! Little blocks of baby cheese!

Spin those curds and whey! Drain it off, hey hey hey!

Press those curds down tight, no more whey!

And then the cheese curds are salted- so squeaky!

Oh, fresh cheese curds- yum yum yum! I could eat them all day!

All kinds of curds! Plain, seasoned, deep-fried, poutine!

Garlic! Dill! Spice 'em up! Bread 'em, serve 'em, squeak between my teeth!

All the other curds- oh, where do they go?

They get cheddared and pressed and then the cheese is aged!

Oh, age that cheese, age it fine, let it develop a beautiful rind-

A natural rind! Oh, they dry out and the cheese forms a skin.

Rub it with oil and brine and let it age! And then, come time-

Cut off the rind and I'll get Cheddar and Stilton and Tommes

And oh, it'll feed my tum!

White and soft and fuzzy, you've got a bloomer!

Spray your cheese with mold, get it started,

Let it sit, and let the magic happen! It grows and grows and oh-

Brie! Camembert! Saint Andre! Heaven on my tongue!

If you wash and get moldy, that's a washed rind, ooh!

Stinky cheeses, so much fun! No hard rind here, no siree!

No mold, just bacteria! The smell of stinky feet fills the air, yum!

Let me sink my fangs into that Limberger, that Livarot, that Pont l'Eveque!

The Taleggio, the Epoisses, the Reblochon!

And then for Mozzarella, oh, no rind here!

Work it, knead it, make it stringy!

Twist and pull and push those curds

Form a ball

Then open your mouth and eat it all!

Adrien's notes: Why. Why.

Also, there's no set tune. Plagg sang this as a rock song once and a country song the next time. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

  The History of Cheese

It was 8000 BC

Stomachs were used to carry milk

Heat and rennet mixed together

And now you add a little salt

Salt was used for preservation

Keep those curds nice in summer sun

Make those cheese curds daily

The squeak is so much fun!

From Arabia! To Asia! Then Rome!

That glorious process did roam.

To England, and then beyond

The curd, the whey, the strong

Flavor beyond compare!

Oh, the smell that fills the air!

Milk in an animal's stomach

Turns to cheese all thanks to rennet!

Monks improved the taste

Through their tried and true ways

Gorgonzola in Italy, Roquefort in France

Many things made from curd and whey!

Hard cheese for the Romans

Now it becomes an art

Middle Ages was gold for testing

More varieties there art!

Less salt begets more cream

More cream is better for taste!

When it's colder cheeses can ripen

A glorious advance!

In those Middle Ages

First did appear

Camembert, cheddar, Gouda

The staples of anyone's year!

Cheeses continued to improve

Many, many rounds were made!

Many rounds were eaten

I had several per day-

Adrien's notes: Song has been cut off due to length and also the sanity of the scribe.

It was over an hour long and entirely set to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance. Save me.

  Don't Stop Cheesin'

Adrien's notes: Sung to the tune of Don't Stop Believing

(Verse 1)

Just a cheesy treat!

Sitting there for me to eat!

Fresh mozzarella can be eaten anywhere!

Just a cheese bowl!

Get it for a small toll!

I would eat it anywhere!

(Verse 2)

Some cheddar in an aging room!

The smell of brine mmm-mm.

I could eat it all night

Because it's yum and yum and yum and yum!

(Chorus)

Camembert! Brie!

Up and down the cheese store shelves!

Parmesan! Gruyere! Eat it all night!

Come on, people! Live just to enjoy cheese!

Come on, it's just so good!

(Verse 3)

Working hard to get my Swiss

A dairy treat I'll never miss!

Paying anything to get a bite

Just one more time

Some will scoff, some say no

Some were born to pay their dues

To the best thing on the earth

Yes, it's cheese and cheese and cheese and cheese!

(Chorus)

Camembert! Brie!

Up and down the cheese store shelves!

Parmesan! Gruyere! Eat it all night!

Come on, people! Live just to enjoy cheese!

Come on, it's just so good!

(Outro) (x3)

Don't stop cheesing

Feed me some Camembert!

Cheese curds, feta!

  Gouda after midnight

Adrien's notes: sung to the tune of "Living after Midnight" by Judas Priest

(Chorus)

Gouda after midnight

Cheddar to the dawn

Colby to the mornin'

Then I'm gone, I'm gone.

(Verse 1)

I ate some cheese 'round one P.M.

Feta, Brie!

But now I'm all hungry again

Cheddar, Gouda!

I power up with my favorite type

And bathe in its radiant light

(Repeat chorus)

(Verse 2)

Got glorious edam, moldy blue

Camembert, Provolone!

Ready to buy them up on sale

Havarti, Monterey!

My stomach's growling, I'm ready to feast

My teeth are bared now, ready to eat

(Repeat Chorus)

(Verse 3)

Gorgonzola

I wanna eat ya!

My stomach's ready

A whole round!

The cheese board's ready, smellin' lovely

Ricotta, Swiss!

I'm getting hungrier by the minute

Roquefort, Vacherin!

I see the cheese and then home in

The crumbs are flying as I dig in

(Repeat chorus 3x)

  The Sound of Cheese

Adrien's notes: Do-Re-Mi from the Sound of Music.

Let's get some cheese from the kitchen

A very good place in the house

You had better have the basics in very good cheese

Let me have some cheese like Cheddar and Brie

I love cheese, I love cheese

My favorite food in the world just happens to be

Tasty cheese, tasty cheese

Tasty cheese in my tummy

Cheese! Some cheese! Some tasty cheese!

Someone, get me some Provolone!

Brie, a cheese to fill myself

Farmer's- a creamy, creamy one!

Swiss, a hard cheese on my tongue

Le Roule, all rolled in yummy stuff!

Taleggio, I'll have it on some bread

I want it all at home (oh-oh-oh)

(repeat. Over and over and over.)

  Somewhere over the Cheese Hill

Adrien's notes: Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Surprise.

Somewhere over the cheese hill

Cheddar on apple pie

Parmesan that I dream of

My cheesy lullaby

Somewhere over the cheese hill

Brie on rye

I dream of swimming in fondue

Someday it will come true

The smell of cheese will fill the car

White Stilton presented on a platter before me

When cheese is dribbled over mushroom tops

Lush and creamy, cheesy drops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the cheese hill

Brie on rye

And I dream of swimming in fondue

Oh why, oh why can't I?

Well, I see cheese in my dreams and mushrooms too

Cheese rinds bloom in green and blue

And I think to myself

What a wonderful Stilton

Well, I see Roquefort and I see Fontina

And Tomme de Savoie

I love Camembert

And I think to myself

What a wonderful taste

The colors of Shropshire Blue so pretty in my paws

And even more pretty in my mouth

I'd share with the people passing by

But they wouldn't appreciate it

Not like I do

No one loves cheese like I, like I do

I like gooey cheeses and I love their smell

How they taste so good I'll never know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful taste

The smell of cheese will fill the car

White Stilton presented on a platter before me

When cheese is dribbled over mushroom tops

Lush and creamy, cheesy drops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the cheese hill

Brie on rye

And I dream of swimming in fondue

Oh why, oh why can't I?

Ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh

[thebeauregardbros]

♥ Dating Sim Meme ♥

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IWANTEDTOMAKEADATINGSIMPROFILEPICBUTMYTABLETBROKE

• ROUTE START: 

>(Location: Sapphire Exchange)

-“Oof!” Ah! I bumped into someone!  -“Oh, I am so sorry, my friend--” (Alus’ eyes widen)  -“...” Um.. He’s just staring at me..  -“.. A-Ah, excuse me, w-would thee.. like a flower?” He hastily went through his bag and handed me a small sunflower. How cute! -“M-May I please ask thine name?” (...) -”Oh! Please take this flyer!” He hands me a full-colored poster covered in pink featuring a nouveau-esque logo with a dodo. It advertises a ‘Café Nobilitea”. -”If thee do come, thy first meal with be free - on me. I do hope to see you there..” He smiles warmly at me, hopeful. I wonder if I should go.. Ah! I’m late for my meeting!! Goodbye, strange man!

• ROUTE ACCEPTANCE: 

>(Location: Café Nobilitea)

I finally took the time to come here.. and wow! What a unique location! This place feels cozy and bright.. It’s almost tooth-achingly sweet, so pink and girly. I suddenly realize this place is actually.. empty. Huh. At least it’ll be a peaceful visit. -”Oh!! Ms./Mr./Mx. (name)! I was hoping thy might stop by.” Alus is wearing a fancy formal suit and standing behind the counter. Small cakes, cookies, and sweet breads are sitting in display in front of him. -(Alus smiles warmly.) “What would thee like today? I have a list of desserts here as well - I highly recommend the moussé cake slice if thy stomach handle dairy. We have a wide variety of teas as well - ask for your heart’s desire.” I wonder if he remembers.. -”Oh, no worries! <chuckle> I will keep my promise. One free meal. I guarantee thy will return after tasting it.” (Alus winks.) Sure enough.. This tastes incredible. Alus approaches my table, and elegantly presents his gloved hand over the unused seat. -”Would thee mind if I joined you? Business is a bit slow today.. Ah, you do not have to speak if thee would rather eat.” He chortles a bit too loudly. I let him sit, and he rambles on about the strangest things.. It’s actually pretty cute how excited he gets over things. I think I will return after today.

• MENU INTERFACE, POKE A: 

-“U-Uhm.” -“P-Please do not do that.. Apologies.. I.. I doth not like being touched very much..” He looks at me sheepishly, pleading.

• MENU INTERFACE, POKE B: 

-“P-Please!” -“My heartbeat is making it hard for me to think..” Huh? What’d he say?

• MENU INTERFACE, POKE (REPEATEDLY):

-“Ahh! Please, I have been patient!” He grabs my hands, but his grip is gentle.  -“Please do not do such things unless... Thee are truly ready for me to do the same.. <sigh> Take this seriously..”

• MENU INTERFACE, POKE MAX ♥: 

I haven’t seen this face from him before, it’s so serious..! -“Hey..” -”Is it okay if I touch your face..?”

COMPLETED DATE, +♥:

Yess! This date went perfectly!! -”Ah.. I wish this day did not have to end. Alas, we must part ways, nay?” -“Could I.. walk you home? I would like to talk with you a little longer, if thy do not mind.” Should I ask to hold his hand? >Yes   No -”A-Ah.. Uhm.. Okay. M-My lady/sir/honored guest.” (He blushes, smiling sheepishly.)

COMPLETED DATE, -♥:

Ahh.. I really messed everything up!! -”Hm.. I really apologize that everything went so awkwardly today.. <sigh>” But I was the one who messed it up!!?! -”I promise you, next time.. I will plan the best date ever in advance. This, I promise you!” -”I should go home to plan.. Please stay safe, my lady/sir/honored guest! I hope you will see me again..”

• GIFT (NEUTRAL): 

-”Aah! A gift from my honored guest!! I will cherish this memory of you giving me this gift forever, thank you so much for thinking of me.” The sad thing is, I can’t tell if he actually likes the gift itself.. Hmm.

• GIFT (DISLIKED): 

-”Ara ara.. I am so thankful that you thought of me, my lady/sir/friend. But mayhap this gift would do better in the hands of someone other than I? I am sorry to say that it ‘tis not very much in my specific taste/area of usability. I will not let such a nice gift be wasted, however! Let us help you find the suitable giftee together!” Ah geez.. He really didn’t like it. I gotta make sure I don’t give him something like this again. 

• GIFT (LIKED):

-”Ah.. You understand me completely..! I will never let this gift leave, it will become a cherished part of my family from now on.. I am so thankful to have you as my friend. Thank you so much! Please, let me do something in return!!” Yay!! He really loved it!!

• GIFT (THEIR BIRTHDAY): 

Oh no! Is he.. crying!!? He is!! -”I’m.. I am sorry.. I just..” -”I have not had a gift from anyone except my brother since I was a little one.. ‘Tis hard for me to believe thee remembered.” Ahh! No!! That’s way too sad!! -”Ach, I am sorry, I mean not to dampen this wondrous occasion. You are so kind, I will do my best to repay you any way I can!”

• BIRTHDAY: 

It’s Alus! What is he doing here? -”My lady/sir/friend! I heard ‘tis your nameday today, no? I thought to visit you specially today, I hope you do not mind.” -”I brought some of your favorite cakes from the café! I also brought..” He hands me an elegantly gift-wrapped box. I wonder what’s inside it? -”I was not entirely sure what thy like, so I did my best to guess. I apologize if ‘tis not much your style, but I hope you will regift it to someone who will love it if ‘tis not to thine liking. Please let me know as well, I will do my best to accommodate your interests in the future!” I opened up the box. Inside.. A piece of elegantly crafted golden floral jewelry! Wait, could it be..? Inside, it says ‘A.B.’ Did he really make this just for me!?

I STOLE THIS MEME SO YOU SHOULD TOO AND FUCKIN TAG ME BC I AM SO FUCKING INTERESTED

[langblr-o-kebek]

How to feed yourself cheaply when you live alone

It can be so frustrating and difficult to get used to living by yourself. Apparently cabinets don’t come magically stocked with spices and you have to buy things??? with money???? So here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way along with some links to other great posts that have information along this subject too.

1. Secretly assassinate a relative and collect inheritance

2. Find a sugar daddy

If 1 and 2 are options then the rest of this post is worthless to you, if they are not options, keep reading.

Your first visit to the grocery store Buckle up because it’s going to be the most expensive one

You need to stock your kitchen since you are not a roach and can’t just eat the wooden cabinets. Every kitchen should have some combination of the “basics” which will be your non-perishable pantry items-those things that your parents house seemingly never runs out of. 

The Basics

-Rice -Pasta (+any other grains you might like such as couscous, wheat berries etc.) -Flour -Sugar -Brown sugar (if you’re into baking like I am) -Baking Soda -Baking powder -Spices (for example, cumin, cayenne, oregano, basil, paprika, etc.) -Salt and pepper -Oats -Boullion or cans of stock -Cans of soup/packets of ramen -Coffee/tea

I suggest you buy these kinds of items in bulk if possible. If you have the space to store them, they will last you forever and items like these can make a meal that is supposed to be 1-2 servings into somethings thats 4-6 which I’ll explain later. Also, buying in bulk is cheaper per pound/100 grams (whatever system you’re using) so in the long run, you’ll save lots of money by buying one fat ass sack of rice a year instead of 15 every few weeks. Check your area for bulk stores, places that sell spices and grains by the weight. This will save you cash and can be more eco-friendly if you’re able to use your own bags/containers.

Tips for meals

It is so much cheaper to cook a larger amount of food at a time than making something for each individual meal. This is because for the most part, you can’t buy ingredients sufficient for one serving at the grocery store and you don’t want to buy something you’ll only use once and then the rest goes bad and bye-bye money. Making a meal that will last you 3-4 days is not only cheaper, but also saves time since after the initial cooking, all you have to do is reheat a little at a time later. You can take this a step further and use grains like rice, pasta and couscous to “cut” the food thereby doubling the amount of servings you have. Below are some really easy recipes that I use that last me days.

Things you can make at home for cheap

HUMMUS! Bc it’s a great snack, filling, healthy and is stupid expensive at the store and stupid cheap and easy to make.

-1 can of garbanzo beans -2 T of tahini (you can leave this out if you want, tahini can be expensive) -1 T lemon juice -1 clove of garlic, minced -Cumin, paprika, salt, pepper

Literally throw it all in a food processor and blend. If it’s too thick, you can add more olive oil or save some of the water from the beans and add that as well. If you do that, less salt will need to be added. If you use dried beans that you’ve soaked and shit you will need more salt.

If you don’t have a food processor, you can heat the beans up and smash it by hand, it’s more effort and it may be chunkier but it works. Same goes for immersion blenders.

Fun ways to shake this hummus up

-Roasted Red pepper: Chop 1/3 C of roasted red pepper and add. Replace some of the olive oil with some of the juice from the pepper jar.

-Roasted Garlic: Instead of mincing a garlic clove, expose the head of the garlic (lol) and rub with a little olive oil, making sure it gets into the cracks (lol). Wrap in foil and roast at 400 degrees (~200 C) for 30-35 minutes. Garlic should be nice and soft when it’s done. Roasted garlic is sweet instead of biting like raw garlic so using a whole head is okay and you won’t die when you eat it.

-Artichoke heart+black olive: Chop up one can of artichoke hearts with however many chopped black olives as you would like

-Pesto: Add in at least one tablespoon of pesto

Now the question is, how do I eat my hummus and the answer is, there’s actually a billion ways

-Put it on a sandwich or wrap! -Dip celery, cucumber, carrots, peppers in it! -Eat it with pretzels or tortilla chips OR if you’re a cheap bastard like me, make your own tortilla chips by cutting up some tortilla rounds, brushing them with olive oil, sprinkling them with salt and bake at 350 for 10ish minutes. I usually put mine into the oven right when I turn it on and pull them out when the oven is preheated bc I can’t be bothered to actually figure out a proper cooking time. Whatever, this is way cheaper than buying chips and they’re more filling. You can also make tortillas, it’s cheap and simple, I find they taste better, but it is slightly time consuming. Here’s a recipe. -Eat it with a spoon wgaf you live alone no judgement.

Coffee Creamer

Hell yes you can make this at home. The basic is about 1 3/4 cup of milk (whatever kind of milk, the more fat in the milk the creamier the creamer) and 14oz of sweetened condensed milk. You can also add in a few drops of any sort of extract/honey or some sprinkles of cinnamon/nutmeg whatever suits your fancy! Here is a bunch of variations. Also put 1/4 of a teaspoon of cinnamon per cup of coffee in with your coffee grounds in the filter for a cinnamon scented coffee.

Popcorn

Well, we all knew this one. But honest to god it is so much cheaper and healthier to pop popcorn using a bag of kernels than it is to buy a box of microwave popcorn. Just pour some oil and a tablespoon of butter into a large pan, add the popcorn and cook covered over medium heat. As soon as the kernels start to pop make sure you start jiggling the pan to keep them moving so they don’t burn and ruin your pan. I’m pretty sure you can put the kernels in a paper bag in the microwave too. Throw salt on it, or even cinnamon and sugar cuz why not.

RULES FOR GROCERY SHOPPING

1. buying in bulk saves

2. Don’t buy in bulk if you can’t use it all before it expires-like yeast! Most expiration dates are pretty generous and you can actually continue using the product beyond the date (this amount of time varies, please for your own safety please google it). Yeast is the only food I know of that is true to its expiration.

3. Avoid superstores when possible. Most of the time, you’re paying for the convenience. Superstores are often more expensive because you’re paying for the convenience of doing all your shopping in one place. 

4. Ethnic markets are almost always cheaper-especially for trendy things like Coconut oil (so cheap at indian food markets!!) Find Chinese, Arabic, Indian, Mexican food markets around you and split up your shopping accordingly. 

5. MAKE YOUR OWN BREAD, it can be very easy. Google it.

6. Off brand is just as good as the rest

7. Coupons, grab them in the front of the store if available

8. Just because something is a good deal doesn’t mean you have to buy it. I don’t care if orange juice is on sale, I don’t drink a lot of orange juice. You know what’s cheaper than something being 50% off? Not buying it at all. It costs $0.00 to be smart. 

9. Don’t make grocery shopping a habitual thing. By that I mean don’t go grocery shopping every Sunday or whatever. Go grocery shopping when you need to go grocery shopping. If it’s been a week but you can wait 4 more days, wait 4 more days.

10. Don’t buy fresh herbs, grow them. A packet of seeds is cheap. Plastic pots are cheap. Potting soil can be cheap if you can find a place where you can buy by the weight instead of a massive bag. Plant the seeds according to the packet. Things like basil need to be watered often. Things like rosemary and thyme are okay chilling a couple of days without it. Read the packets and google it. Also it’s so rewarding to watch your little baby plants grow. An herb garden costs $10 dollars at the most to make. Fresh herbs at the grocery store cost $2-6 per package. Fresh herbs make meals taste a million times better I swear to god it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Growing herbs also helped me with my depression so bonus.

11. If shopping at a super store, as much as possible stay out of the “middle”. What I mean is, things you buy should come from the sections closest to the wall-these include the produce, meat, dairy and frozen vegetables. All the processed foods are in the middle and though some can be cheap, they’re not filling and you end up buying them a lot. Doing things like making your own hummus can keep you out of the middle aisles and it’s healthier. Things from the middle you may need though are tea, ramen, grains, soup, peanut butter. 

12. Plan your trip. Thoroughly look through your fridge and cabinets to see what you’re out of. I even keep a little white board on my fridge where I write what’s in the fridge and what’s run out. Write down what needs to be replaced/what you need for the next couple of meals. Do not stray from the list when shopping.

13. Go to Marshalls or Winners or whatever equivalent for things like olive oil, K cups if you have a Keurig (oh fancy fancy) and cool pink salt. They also have other kinds of oils like sunflower and avocado, and even sometimes protein powders. It’s way cheaper there and you can buy a liter sized bottle of olive oil for like 7 dollars when it would cost at least twice that at a grocery store. 

14. Do not have the same grocery list every week. Prices of things change, your list should reflect that. If you’re wanting to get some sort of fruit for a snack, don’t get apples every week. Get whatever is in season. The prices of fresh produce in stores and markets will reflect what’s in season (i.e. the cheapest things). Lucky for us Bananas are always in season and are a super cheap snack that people forget about. I often wait until they’re ripe, cut them up and freeze them to make smoothies. 

15. Don’t be afraid of tofu. It’s cheap as hell and once you learn how to prepare it, can be a fantastic substitute for animal proteins if meat/fish are too expensive.

16. Don’t forget, so many foods can be frozen. If something is crazy on sale, don’t be afraid to buy more than usual if you are able to freeze it. Here’s a list of things that can be frozen. TBH here, in Canada, I buy those big 3L bags of milk and store the little baggies in the freezer. 

Finally, go to Goodwill stores and thrift shops to find kitchen appliances, dishes, and cookware for cheap! The best 7 dollars I ever spent was on a crock pot. These stores have so many items that last FOREVER, like a good pan, or a classic cafeteria.  Don’t think you can’t cook because you can’t afford the equipment. Kitchen equipment doesn’t have to be a huge investment.

That’s all I have for today. Good luck out there guys.

[mitskki]

pls the egg industry is so cruel tho 😭😭

we artificially bred chickens so that they can lay way too many eggs than it’s healthy, and when their bodies cannot take it anymore off to the slaughterhouse (if “lucky”) or killed in other ways (a method i have seen is putting a bunch of them in boxes and taping them and leaving them there to suffocate and ready to be buried).

only female chickens can produce eggs so male chicks are not profitable; that’s why billions of chicks are ground up as soon as they hatch bc they serve no purpose, no profit.

also not to be like this but it has been scientifically proven that chicken DO form strong bonds with their eggs and their chicks; they are the definition of good mamas.

chickens are smart animals who form strong bonds and we keep them in small cages/open establishments (with too many birds) so they can lay more eggs than their bodies can take and we have to chop off their beaks bc it drives them crazy and they start attacking one another. we keep the lights on constantly so that they pop out even more eggs and they lose their minds.

it IS exploitation. it is a capitalistic nightmare, seeing living things as objects just because we like the way their period tastes like. there is no NEED to consume eggs actually; the nutrients in them can be substituted by a number of things! and taste is not a valid enough reason (for me) to fund such a cruel industry.

you can deride vegans all you want, and as a vegan i can join you (as the “mainstream” vegans you see around are those who advertise “white veganism” which i would read up on if you have never heard the term!) but the reason you mentioned is not why vegans don’t eat eggs.

veganism is a social justice movement that promotes total liberation, for humans and animals alike. it promotes decolonising food and seeks food justice for all humans. it’s about animal rights as much as it is about human rights.

most people who work in the pits of the animal farming industry are BIPOC and immigrants who are underpaid, often get seriously injured / disabled and in most cases develop PTSD (slaughtering animals so we can buy them at the store), which elevates the cases of domestic violence in their families. veganism seeks justice for them too!

in the country i live in, being vegan is cheaper than eating animal products (bc im not gonna buy beyond burger steaks, rather fresh vegetables and fruits and pasta and rice and mushrooms and berries and dairy free sweets and sm more!). as a mentally ill person who would not cook for days and warm up unhealthy food /order take out, being vegan has helped me with cooking more and taking better care of myself; i will still warm up frozen fries and binge on oreos when executive dysfunction kicks in tho lol

veganism is actually a very cool, intersectional justice movement that i recommend learning more about! it’s wild to me how invasive colonialism and white supremacy are, that the mainstream view of veganism is the gluten-free LA wasp mom with a wine plantation and two malnourished kids when ACTUALLY black americans are most likely to be vegans that white americans.

i am a white european so if you are interested in learning more i can rec a few non white and super cool vegans to follow and learn from: @/queerbrownvegan (on IG, youtube and tiktok), @/thekoreanvegan (on IG and tiktok), @/hailethomas (IG), @/genesisbutler_ (IG)

anti-egg vegans are always a hoot. like, she’s not using it. it’s not fertilized. it’s going to rot and attract predators. you want me to just throw it in the trash??

[purelovinchocolate]

Are Vegan Chocolates Better Than Regular Ones?

Are you considering making a switch from regular chocolate to Vegan Chocolate?

If yes, you’ve landed in the right place! Today, we are going to unveil the difference between these two categories of chocolates so you can make a more knowledgeable decision the next time you order chocolates or hit a confectionery store. 

In the following blog, you are going to discover some great benefits that vegan chocolate has to offer. Spoiler alert! It's far more superior than regular chocolate - aka milk chocolates.

We’ll unlock some health benefits of dairy-free chocolates and clear the dilemma in your mind regarding how unique it tastes compared to what you might be used to. And lastly, we’ll help you find some quality vegan chocolate in Canada.

How is Vegan Chocolate Healthier than Normal Chocolate?

Veganism refers to eating plant-based products, such as fruits, vegetables, tofu, nut seeds, grans, and legumes. There are plenty of snacks and desserts you can eat which are made of vegan substitutes for the original ones. And while there's a vegan version for almost every product we consume, how can our beloved chocolate stay behind?

So let’s have a look at its health benefits! 

1. Improves heart health - Vegan chocolates improve heart health by lowering bad cholesterol (LDL) and improving blood pressure. Recent studies have shown that vegan chocolates can help lower the risk of cardiovascular diseases by one-third as it contains a rich amount of flavonoids and anti-oxidants. The reason why chocolates benefit our heart is the amount of vitamin E, magnesium, and copper. As it's proven that, magnesium improves blood flow, whereas copper ensures blood cells get oxygen.

2. Supports Healthy Blood Sugar Levels - Since vegan chocolates contain close to no amount of sugar, it fits perfectly for people who are dealing with sugar sensitivity. 

3. Improves your mood - Based on practical experiments, studies have also shown that the components of vegan chocolate boost the levels of serotonin, which is known as the good mood hormone and which is also the reason why you feel happy.

In that way, it improves your mood and makes you feel joyous and happy. 

Truly, there are many benefits associated with eating a moderate amount of vegan dark chocolate from time to time since the bioactive ingredients found in cocoa can significantly lower your blood pressure levels and improve blood flow.

How Vegan Chocolate tastes when compared with normal chocolate? 

Many people think twice a couple of times before trying out a bar of vegan chocolate, thinking that it won’t taste good. Let us tell you that you are missing out on the delights of vegan chocolate treats just because of this myth which is not true at all!.

Milk chocolate might be a sweet bliss, in your opinion. But to disguise the taste of chocolate, the manufacturers use average quality chocolate and compensate by adding tons of cane sugar or milk.

On the other hand, Vegan chocolate tastes naturally delicious - especially when you find a quality bar. After reading this, you must be probably wondering where do I get the best vegan chocolates in Victoria BC? Well, hold your excitement and keep reading. We have the best chocolate store incoming for you further in this blog. 

Where do I get the best vegan chocolate online?

Now that you’re probably aware that vegan chocolates are always better than regular chocolates in all ways. You’ve also understood why we encourage everyone to shift over to the good side. If you want to try out the best vegan and organic chocolate Canada, you cannot go wrong with Pure Lovin Chocolate. Based in Victoria, Pure Lovin Chocolate is one of the most renowned vegan chocolate stores in Canada. A women-owned confectionery shop that excels in producing delicious handcrafted chocolates that look super cute and are also free from soy, gluten, and other preservatives. 

At Pure Lovin Chocolate, we have a wide range of flavours to keep things fresh, so you never get bored of the taste. After trying our few vegan delights,  you'll never dream of going back to regular old chocolate.

Pure Lovin chocolate is everything you wish your regular bar could be in taste, ingredients, and flavour.

It's truly best for both sides and will become a part of your daily ritual to help you fulfill your cravings as they come throughout the day.

How Pure Lovin Chocolate’s Vegan Products win over Regular Chocolate Every Time?

What makes it awesome is that we are a unique brand of handcrafted chocolates with special flavours, and they are all organic and vegan. Though the market is oversaturated with vegan consumers, there’s nothing more we like than a home chef creating their own brand of artisanal, indulgent chocolates.

Pure Lovin Chocolate has many more personal elements to it, with unique flavours, and of course, the chocolates are handcrafted with love and care.

We go beyond the regular flavours and create small batches of chocolates.

You will adobe Pure Lovin Chocolate mainly for its unique flavours – there are peppermint, orange, and maple creams. Apart from the decadent ball-shaped chocolates, we are also creating chocolate bars for people looking for vegan and organic options. 

The orders need to be placed in advance in case you want something customized for yourself or are looking for bulk orders.

To place your order, checkout https://purelovinchocolate.com/

[rival-the-rose]

also i know this is cheating but please provide your top three types of goat with explanations

LET’S DO ASKS bc i love my kay friend so much and they are so good at asking questions

ok there are. so many types of goats in the world. so many. literally hundreds. i’m narrowing this down to breeds of goats i have owned or showed bc even though there’s so many really weird/cool breeds out there that would make good trivia, these are breeds i really know and have spent time with and love. this is still hard tho lmao

3) La Mancha dairy goats

La Mancha doe, GCH Jen-Mae-KA Kids Canasta, from adga.org

LaMancha doeling, Jen-Mae-KA Kids Frankie, from adga.org

LaMancha buck,SGCH Little Orchard Pure Thrill ++*B from Sandstone Ridge Dairy Goats

(this is gonna be a long-ass post in case u did not realize, but i will keep it short as possible. also, i did absolutely zero research on anything in this post it is all from my brain. therefore it may be limited or wrong but i felt like this is a more accurate response to the question of “why do i like these things” even if those reasons might be wrong.)

LaManchas are a breed I’ve never owned, but if you told me I could never own another (spoiler for #1 on this list) Nubian then this is who I’d pick. LaManchas in the U.S. are descended primarily from goats that arrived at the Chicago World Fair in a box marked simply “La Mancha”. Presumably that’s where they were from, but apparently no one fessed up to sending them. They were popular though, because they didn’t have ears! LaManchas have distinctly-reduced pinnae, under 1″ required for bucks and desired for does, which is a mutation that has occurred in several populations but is a defining characteristic of this breed. I think the no-ears look is adorable! Other reasons I like Manchas (also known as Munchies): they are chunkier than other dairy goats (they’re almost always pudgy and i love them) and not too tall, they are not a color breed so you can have a rainbow herd, their milk doesn’t taste as bad as the Swiss breeds, and the no ears+beard look is super cute!! Reasons I might not want Manchas: having to explain that their ears are naturally like that all the time! Ppl I know who show manchas often have signs posted stating as such. Ornery ppl tell stories like “well...one winter the roads were blocked and we couldn’t get food...and i just couldn’t bring myself to eat the goats....so i....i just....ATE THEIR EARS”

goat ppl are great

2) Pygora goats

Crown Mountain Pygoras

Pygoras aren’t typically “my type” of breed; I tend to prefer landrace, less-developed, multi-purpose animals rather than new-fangled hybrid “designer” breeds. However. This is the only breed developed in my home state of Oregon (and apparently are not terribly popular outside of my state? because i had a hell of a time finding pics online that were owned by someone i didn’t know. i’m still pretty sure that i’ve at least petted most of the goats in the above picture). They were developed by a lady who wanted soft, blue-grey fiber and went about it by crossing Angora goats (big, white, coarse curls) with Pygmy goats (little, double-coated, usually grey cashmere). She made a breed that comes in 3 different coat types (A=angora, C=cashmere, B=mix (most desirable imo)) and any imaginable color combination! I love Pygora fiber a lot and the goats themselves are pretty cool. Up until 2 years ago, I thought I owned a Pygora (albeit one that had a lot of Angora in him) but then we were finally able to find his breeder (he had gone through several homes before us) and it turned out he was actually a Colored Angora. He’s still great. Pygoras are kind of assholes, combining Angora skittishness w/ Pygmy climbing ability and determination. But they can be very sweet. They beat out manchas bc i have more experience w/ Pygoras and I really like their fiber. 

and finally 

#1 Nubian (or Anglo-Nubian) dairy goats

SGCH Kastdemur’s Temerity 5*, adga.org, probably my all-time favorite individual goat in terms of conformation

Corral de la Reina’s Arcee Go Go, my actual favorite goat of all time RIP my love (and a real fuckin old pic of us)(you can see me trying to get her to pose. she is mostly cooperating bc she was a good girl but did not understand these dumb human tricks)

just bc bb goats are cute (those are all mine)

anyway! Nubians! They are a fascinating snapshot of colonialism and world politics that I don’t have the time or energy to get into and frankly I’d need to break my “no research” rule to make sure I was getting everything right. Basically, when the British invaded North Africa, one of the many things they took were these extremely long-eared spotty goats with weird noses. They took these home, possibly mixed them w/ some Indian breeds, definitely mixed them w/ some Swiss/short-eared breeds, increased milk production and introduced a body shape they liked better and that was more appropriate for a cooler climate. Nubian breed characteristics require bell-shaped ears that reach 1.5″ past the end of the muzzle and a strong Roman nose.  They can be any color, but my favorite is one called “moonspot”. You should google it. It’s autosomal complete dominant, so it was pretty easy for me to make it so that almost all of my babies have it (shhhh don’t breed for color shhhh but this one gene is so simple that there’s basically no ill effects). Nubians cycle year-round so they can have babies anytime! Technically you can even get more than one kid-crop per year but that’s kind of rough going and also no one wants to do that w/ dairy animals bc u don’t get hardly any milk! I love Nubians. You can train them like dogs, their milk is delicious and hardly different from cow’s milk in taste, they’re big but not too big, they’re colorful, they have cute ears...I love them. Some ppl claim they bellow? but I’ve never noticed them being any louder than other goats. The only other potential negative is that they melt in the rain lol. Nubians HATE getting wet and are pretty effective barometers bc of it (floppy ears racing towards the barn means raindrops’ll be falling soon!). Oh, actually, speaking of ears, a sad thing is that they really hate it when you touch them even though they are big and soft. Nubians punish each other by biting each other’s ears so when humans grab at them, it’s confusing and rude!

i love them all but i love nubians best thank you for coming to my tedtalk