#but you just wait if you ever see a dracula movie that will come out May 3rd just know im the one behind it

[ace-succo]

My goal in life at the moment is making a book accurate Dracula adaptation one day... because there is no way that they're all just so bad (I'm talking about the one with Winona Ryder) (I have no idea about the others but they're probably better)

[raineydays411]

My Fathers Daughter pt 10

A different perspective

Dick Grayson has always been used to being the first.

He was the first Robin, the first son, the first to be picked for almost anything.

Hell he was the first child as far as he knew. So imagine his surprise when he finds out his mother not only has a whole secret daughter, but one that she completely abandoned.

He could still hardly believe it.

He couldn't stop thinking about the night they found out about her. The look on Christine's face, it was one he's never seen before. The look of shock and almost disbelief, like she had seen a ghost.

In a way she did.

The ghost of the life she left behind with Tony and Y/n Stark. Now Christine was trying so desperately to revive it. As if she didn't murder it with her own hands. And while Dick himself had reservations with these actions, Christine was his mother before anything, and he was going to help her no matter what.

So here he was, standing outside the bedroom of his mothers long lost daughter, trying to figure out something to say. It shouldn't be too hard, seeing as Jason of all people managed to get you to open up.

And yet, here he is. Unable to muster up the courage to simply knock on the door.

"This is fucking ridiculous", Dick thinks to himself, "Just knock, what's the worst that can happen?"

Lost in his own thoughts, Dick didn't notice the shadow under the door, and was startled by the sudden swing of it opening and you standing there.

"I can hear your thinking over my music." You said a little annoyed," Is there something I can do for you or...?"

Dick blinked trying to gather all of his thoughts, he really didn't know what to say to you. This is the first time you've said more than three syllables to him.

You stared back, face revealing how uncomfortable you were getting with this prolonged eye contact.

"Riiiight, so im just gonna" You say taking steps to shut the door in his face

"Wait!" The raven haired man shouts, "Wait, please."

You stop with a sigh and open the door, inviting him in, " Alright, come on."

Dick walks in, looking around at the room that actually used to be his when he first moved in.

He mentions as much trying to break the awkward silence.

"Hm, and you were okay staying in a room that was copied from a dracula movie?" You say snarkily

"Well to be fair I was 12 and watched my parents die in front of me, I wasn't really looking at the decor." He says half joking.

You made a face and looked away, feeling even more awkward.

"Anyways, I just wanted to you know...see how you were settling in" Dick starts, " Its been a few months and it feels like we hardly even see you."

You pause, thinking of what to say. But before you even have a chance to say anything Dick continues.

"You know, moms really excited that you're here." He starts, " Honestly I don't think I've ever seen her this excited over anything. She's usually very level headed."

You stare at him

"I mean, you know how she is I suppose she is your mother too."

You stare

"I know she probably really missed you, she gets lonely sometimes you know? Everyone here usually has their own thing going on and we don't really get to see her as much."

Nothing from you

" Well, I guess she see's Damian more than any of us but that's because he's basically her baby."

Okay...that hurt

"I mean, I think he was the youngest when he came to use, I think he was like nine or something. And he was not the easiest to get along with. So don't worry that he hasn't warmed up to you yet."

You hum, already irritated with this conversation.

"He's also really protective of our mom, she's done alot to make sure their relationship is as good as it is." he says offhandedly, " Actually she's done it for all of us."

"Oh really?" You ask with no real intrest.

"Yeah! I remember one time when I was little she always made it a point to spend time with me even though she was so busy." He says fondly.

You decide to play along and remince on the memories that you buried long ago.

"You know, when I was younger, Christine used to take me out of school and take me to see ballet shows." You say with a slight smile, " I was in classes back then and loved watching the older girls dance."

Dick smiled, feeling as if he made some progress with you, " Really? I think she actually takes Cassie and Steph to those sometimes, you should ask to tag along I'm sure she'll love it."

You cringe, feeling another needle in your heart. Not even your memerioes were sacred.

"Yeah no thanks." You reply harshly, " I don't like ballet anymore."

Dick pauses, shocked at the sudden shift in atmosphere.

"I--"

And before he can say anything you cut him off, feigning a yawn

"Hey look, not that I don't love our little chats, but I am beat."

"Oh! right, sorry I guess it is getting a bit late.."Dick say hopping up from your bed and walking to the door, " Y/n, you know its really nice talking to you. You should try and open up more."

You smile sarcastically, " you know, something you and mother have in common is that you both like talking at me, not to me."

And with that you shut the door, promptly ending the conversation and sending Dick spiraling.

In fact, the statement bothered him so much that he went seeking a second opinion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yeah... I don't know how to help you man."

"Oh come on! Jason, you and her are like...bosom buddies or something."

"Bosom buddies? How old are you?" Jason scoffs, " Look, what you and everyone here doesn't understand is that Y/n has a family waiting for her. She's not going to except mom as her mom because her mom is still alive and well."

"But...technically our mom is her mom." Dick says hesitantly, " And if I were her I'd be thrilled to have my mom back."

"Dick. Your mom didn't abandon you for a different family." Jason says annoyed he's not getting it, "What the hell is wrong with you, you're usually so level headed about this stuff?"

Dick pauses.

To be honest he doesn't know why he's being so hard headed about the whole situation.

He knows that he doesn't like seeing his mother sad, and lately seeing her face when you reject every move she maked to make amends is heartbreaking to him.

That was his mother. The woman who took him in as her own when his biological parents died.

The same woman that stayed by his side no matter how moody, rude, and bratty he first acted when he first arrived. She took his grief on as her own and basically put him back together along with Bruce. He can still remember the night he considered her his mother.

He had just started out as Robin, and had just got back from patrol. It was a rough night.

First, it was the middle of autumn and raining heavily, he and Bruce weren't getting along this particular night and he overall was just having a bad night. So needless to day he was a little rougher with the baddies he was fighting tonight.

Bruce had already reprimanded him throughout the night about his unnecessary force but Dick did not want to hear it. It got so bad that Dick was just going off own his own without Batmans orders, and thats where the trouble began.

Dick had jumped the gun again, throwing himself into a fight with some drug dealers , not realizing that there were one too many for a fourteen year old to handle by himself. They quickly overpowered him, and ganged up on the poor boy.

He was given quite the beating before Batman caught up to him and basically saved him.

In pain and with a bruised ego, he had to listen to yet another lecture from the irritated (actually extremely worried) dark knight, and one from Alfred who was also extremely worried while he cleaned up the child.

He has finally marched to his room in a huff and after he shut the door, was finally able to reveal in the fact that he almost died. He was lost in thought, finally feeling the fear and pain in every move he made as he tried to crawl under the covers when he heard a knock on the door.

In she came, with a tray of goodies she personally made,staying home from a business trip he had known she was going to go on. She crawled into the bed with him, held him to her chest and allowed him to cry.

"You may be a big brave superhero" She said to him, " But here in this home, you're my son. My baby, and you are allowed to cry if you need to. I won't judge you. I won't say a word."

And he did. He cried.

He cried because he was hurting. He cried because he was angry. Angry because he was beat up. Because he was lectured all night. Because he missed his parents.

But most of all, because he felt as if he was forgetting them. He was having such a good time at the Wayne manor, grew to love the Waynes as the parents they intended to be to him. He felt as if he was betraying his parents. The parents that had raised him up to that point.

And here he was, laying cuddled up to Christine the same way he would with his mother. But at this point the two of them are blurring together, to the point where he can't tell where his mother ends and Christine starts.

This woman, took him in and wrapped him in love.

Love that he thought he would never feel again after that tragic night.

A love that, he honestly cannot imagine never having.

It was something that he couldn't begin to repay her. He wouldn't know how. Where to start.

Rekindling his mother with the daughter she lost. Gave up.

That was the least he could do. He'd do it for her.

But, after the conversation he had with Jason, he went home and thought about it. Actually really thought about it.

The year he came into the Wayne's lives, Christine stopped going on her business trips.

Not all at once, but she would push them back.

Usually because Dick had needed her.

She pushed her trips back until eventually, she just stopped going.

She hadn't said much, just saying that she realized that she was needed at home more than they needed her over there. But even at that age, Dick noticed she was sad. She kept her composure around the family, but once Dick had seen her crying in a pantry deleting something off her phone.

He had thought it was weird but after a few months she was okay.

No crying, no sadness.

And... now that he thinks about it. While he was being wrapped up in love there was another child in New York, who's life was being completely unraveled. All because of him.

And maybe...the reason he was trying so hard to rekindle you and Christine wasn't really because of Christine.

But because since that night, the night you were revealed to be her daughter, he did the math. And he just wanted to give you back the mother he unknowingly stole away from you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Taglist:

@loxbbg

@its-emma-asinme

@zagreusdaughter

@animealways

@dead-sane-stuff

@avitute

@khaleesihavilliard

@d3m0n8ch1ld

@almostjollypizza

@anniebannanie0315

@tracysnook

@edlothia-baby

@noom147

@justanotherravenclaw

@gamocity

@eposadomd

@defiantbalde12

@lilyalone

@sillypastasludeland

@cassini-aming-the-stars

@pietrosbae

@bring-it-on-home-johnb

@romanoffmaximoff0096

[alwaysurvalentine]

trick or treat - st fic

Written for day 31 of @steddie-spooktober - prompt: trick or treat - wc: 888 - cw: none! Just lil steddie meeting as kids one halloween :)

enjoy! 💛

There’s a little boy sitting all alone on the curb at the end of the street. Eddie’s walking over before he’s fully made the decision to do so. When he gets closer he can hear the other boy sniffling, shoulders shaking slightly as he stares down at his own knees. A bag lays discarded next to him, only a couple pieces of candy in the bottom. 

“Hello?” Mystery boy shoots his head up fast, eyes wide. He doesn’t say anything, just scrubs at the tears on his cheeks before blinking up at Eddie. It doesn’t look like he’s wearing a costume either, just a white sweater with blue jeans. 

“My name’s Eddie, but tonight I’m Dracula!” Eddie pulls his cape out around him, flashing the red underside to the boy in front of him before doing his best vampire hiss. He’s been practicing for the last couple of weeks in the mirror, it’s pretty scary if you ask him. 

Instead of the fear he expected, the boy in front of him giggles. His giggles get louder and he even snorts. Eddie frowns and crosses his arms, his pillowcase full of candy swinging with the movement and hitting his side. It knocks off his balance enough for him to stumble and the boy laughs harder. 

“If you’re just going to be a meanie then I’m not going to hang out with you!” The laughter abruptly stops. Now he’s stuck looking at tears welling up in the other boys eyes. 

“Please don’t leave me alone. I promise I won’t laugh again.” Part of Eddie still wants to leave, his mama worked really hard on his cape, but the other boy looks so sad so he stays. 

“Fine. Who are you supposed to be anyway?” 

The other boy stands up and brushes off his pants and pulls his sweater down like that’s going to help Eddie figure out who he is. 

“I’m Fred, duh.” Eddie must still look confused because ‘Fred’ rolls his eyes and sighs. “You know, from Scooby Doo? He’s only the coolest person ever.”

“Um, Fred has a cool orange tie thing, I don’t see one of those on you.” ‘Fred’ stomps and crosses his arms with a frown.

“There wasn’t anything orange in my house.” 

“Eddie? Eddie? Where’d you go?” His mama’s voice distracts him and Eddie turns to see her further up the road turning every which way to try and find him. She’s wearing a long white dress and it swirls side to side as she turns. Eddie doesn’t know how she did it, but there’s also white streaks in her hair, which look cool even if she couldn’t get her hair to stand up like Frankenstein’s bride in the movie.

“Mama!” Elizabeth turns at his call and rushes through the small crowd between them. 

“I thought I told you not to wander off, mister!” She might be scolding him, but there’s a relived smile on his mom’s face when she crouches to see at his level. 

“Sorry, Mama. I just saw him sitting all by himself and I thought he might be lost. Are you lost?” The other boy just blinks at Eddie and his mom when they turn to him, eyes wide as he bends to pick up his almost empty candy bag.

“You could’ve told me that so we could walk over together. Who’s your new friend?” His mom stands and offers a smile up to the other boy.

“Uh, I-I’m Steve.” 

“Well, Steve, do you know where your parents are? I’m sure they’re worried about you.” Steve kicks at the ground and shakes his head. Eddie turns towards the street again, looking for any other adults like his mama, searching for the boy in front of him. Instead he sees different kids running up to houses, bags extended in front of them, with their parents watching from the road.

“Do you want help finding them?” Elizabeth’s voice is gentle at the suggestion, but Steve stumbles with how quickly he backs up. 

“No, it’s okay. I know which house is mine. They said I could come out here. I promise.” A pinkie is held out to Eddie, like he’s waiting to have to swear to the two of them that he’s telling the truth. 

Eddie believes him but still loops his pinkie with Steve’s with a grin. It’s so cool that Steve’s parents let him out on Halloween by himself, that means he gets to eat all kinds of candy before he gets home without getting in trouble. His mama’s only let him have two pieces for the night and said he has to save the rest for later. Especially the Reece’s, since those are Uncle Wayne’s favorite. When he looks up though, his mom isn’t smiling. Instead she’s got the same frown on that she gets when they pass by the neighbor’s dog tied to the tree. Before he can ask her why, she claps and turns towards Eddie with a wink. 

“How do we feel about Steve joining us for trick or treating? Looks like he has plenty of space in his bag for some candy.” Eddie’s nodding before she finishes talking, turning to see a matching smile on Steve’s face. 

“Really? I can come with you?”

“’Course you can, Fred. I’ll show you all the best houses. Let’s go!"

~

I kept thinking about writing more, but I think I'm gonna leave it as it is. Up to you on how their Halloween adventures go! (More than happy to discuss my ideas tho 👀 might have thought up some angsty stuff for this one but held back)

[carefulignorantghost]

One Last Time

Dracula Alex era :)

You come home from work just to hear suspicious noises. Your fiancé, Alex, was cheating on you. You spent one more night together, knowing it would never be the same.

Warnings: cheating, moaning, lots of tears, apologies

You had just gotten home from work. You were tired and ready to curl up on the couch and watch a movie with your fiancé.

“Alex! I’m home!” You called out.

No response.

But the sound coming from upstairs made your heart drop.

So you walked upstairs and pressed your ear against the door.

“Fuck… Just like that. So hot. You’re so fucking hot.”

You heard Alex moaning.

And a woman moaning.

Alex was cheating on you.

You opened the door to see Alex on top of a bleach blonde woman. His slicked back hair now coming undone.

“Alex…”

He quickly got off the blonde and puts his pants on.

“Look, it’s-“

“I know what the fuck it is! It’s fucking called cheating, you lying bastard!” You screeched.

The blonde woman is in shock, still naked in the bed.

“Well, you were working all the time and-“

“There’s no excuse for cheating, Alex! I really loved you. I thought you were the one. Do you see this fucking ring you gave me?” You held up your hand, showing a diamond on a gold band. “This is a symbol of eternal love. Fuck you, Alex. You might as well continue fucking her, too. The wedding is over.”

Alex was in shock. He didn’t think you’d find out. He didn’t think you’d call the wedding off either.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Can we work this out?”

“Excuse me? You literally have a girl in our bed and you want to try to ‘work this out’? What is there to work out? You cheated on me, Alex.” You started to cry, large tears dripping down to the ground.

“I thought you loved me, Alex. I really thought you did.”

Alex looked away from you. He couldn’t handle the gnawing guilt inside of him. Why did he sacrifice his whole relationship with you? He really did love you, but you were always at work, and he missed you. So he found someone else to fill the space you left.

“I’m gonna pack a suitcase. I’ll stay at Jessica’s house. I’ll get my things throughout the week.” You spoke quietly yet furiously.

“Ok.” Alex said simply. You balled your fist up at his lack of emotion, yet you said nothing.

You fetched your suitcase from the guest bedroom closet, while the woman quickly got dressed. Alex showed the woman out.

Alex watched you pack from the door.

“Why do you even care to watch me pack? You didn’t care enough to not cheat.” You said, swinging your head back to look at him.

Your gaze was sharp like a thousand needles poking Alex all at once.

Alex was silent.

“Exactly.” You muttered.

Once you finished packing, Alex walked you to the door.

“So kind of you to walk me to the door. Oh, wait. You also walked the woman you cheated with to the door.” You said bitterly.

“Can I walk you to the car?” Alex asked guiltily.

“What do you care?” You spat.

“I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done. But I haven’t stopped loving you once.” He said quietly, looking sadly into your eyes.

“Was the sex that bad, Al?”

“No, no… No. You were so busy at work and I missed you. So I cheated to cope with the loneliness.”

“This is why communication exists, Alexander! You should’ve told me you missed me instead of cheating on me!” You broke down sobbing once again.

Alex reached out to hug you.

You pushed him away at first, but eventually melted into his touch, sobbing in his arms.

“Shh… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” Alex started crying too. The guilt was immense. You were now permanently out of his life. And he knew this would be the last time he would ever hold you.

“I’m so sorry.” He said through hiccups. But you just cried even more.

“Can you stay? Just one more night?”

He whispered into your ear.

“Ok.” You said sadly. You knew your relationship was over. There was no coming back. But you needed to hold him for one more night.

You left your suitcase by the door. You walked upstairs, hand in hand. You looked down at your engagement ring, wondering how this could’ve happened.

Alex changed the bedsheets as you brushed your teeth.

You turned on the shower. Alex knocked on the door, and you opened it. You both silently undressed and stepped into the hot shower. You embraced him as sadness washed over you.

“I’m so sorry.” He said once again, whispering into your ear.

“I know, Al. I know.” You said somberly.

He held you tighter, kissing your temple.

“Is there anything I can do to make it better?” He spoke quietly, looking into your eyes.

“Just hold me.” You stared at him, tears filling your eyes.

After a few minutes, you eventually broke apart. You washed each other’s hair and bodies one last time.

You and Alex stepped out of the shower. You grabbed a towel for you and another for him, handing it to him.

Once you finished drying yourselves off, you both changed into your pajamas and crawled into bed.

Alex held you close to him. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I had talked to you.”

“How many times, Al?” You asked nervously. He was quiet as he counted.

“Eight times.” He whispered.

A fresh wave of hurt settled over you, seeping into your skin.

“How long?”

“6 months.”

You began to cry, pressing your face into his chest. Alex held you tighter.

The sadness took over, telling you to sleep.

You fell asleep in his arms. Alex began to cry, his chest shaking with his loud sobs, waking you up.

“Shhh… It’s ok…” You said, even though you both knew it was a lie. Alex cried even harder.

You both fell asleep entwined in each other.

One last time.

@fanficdelulu DRACULA ALEX FOR YOUUU

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

Dracula Season Watch Party: The Lost Boys (1987)

After moving to a new town, two brothers discover that the area is a haven for vampires. - Dir. Joel Schumacher

Let's get one thing straight: this movie isn't. Stick a pin in that because we'll get back to that in due time.

In that case, though, WHERE DO I START? This is a fucking great movie and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. (I didn't say you have to like it. Quality is objective and personal taste is not. Go forth with that nugget of wisdom.)

Starting at the beginning, then, we get one of the best movie themes ever written (as evidenced by the amount of covers that exist), some of my favorite establishing shots ever filmed, and the character entrance that made me say out loud, "OH SHIT 👀"

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN. As the top comment on the video says, "you know it's awesome when you click just to watch the opening."

The entire movie is like that, TBH. It's almost as quotable as The Princess Bride Thee Greatest Movie Ever Made, and is matched only by The Shining for scenes I'll just watch on their own because I love them that much. Like this one, for instance, that I'm linking because I'm going to bring it up again later:

^^ the music, the camera, the lighting, the transition from the headlights to the lighthouse... It's so good...

Other great music moments include the "People Are Strange" montage of slice-of-life style clips of folks going about their day in Santa Carla intercut with all the posters of missing people hung up around the boardwalk, "I Still Believe" featuring Tim Cappello, Tina Turner's former saxophone player, "Walk This Way" as the boys close in on the surfers on the beach, and ENDLESS uses of "Cry Little Sister."

Brief moment to talk about the Emerson family dynamic. Script, performances, and direction all work together in all the best ways so you never doubt how much they care about each other, or how far they'll go for each other. You can argue for family being one of the core themes of the story, whether it's the one you're born into or the one you're...well, born in a sense, into. Either way, it's about the bonds you make, be it for a lifetime or an eternity.

Grandpa gets his own bullet for being such an icon, and for having the absolute #1 best last line of a movie in history. We waited an hour and a half for the punchline of a joke we didn't even notice we were being told. 🫡

Suppose I'll move onto the Frog brothers. Their antics are where most of the comedy comes from, and if there's one thing I have a problem with in this movie, it's the way the two halves don't quite fit together. Michael and David and Co. work on their own as an edgy, stylish, coming-of-age story. Sam and the Frog brothers are the most obvious giveaway that the original concept was something a bit more similar to The Goonies. And it's probably because I like the vampires a lot more, but the kids just aren't that interesting. They're funny and necessary, but I'm not as invested in what they're doing.

Which brings us back to the Lost Boys themselves. The name is a deliberate reference to Peter Pan, and that's where the tragedy of the whole thing comes in. Screenwriter James Jeremias, after reading Interview With The Vampire and the character Claudia in particular, ran with the idea that the reason Peter and his gang never grow up is because they're vampires (which came first, this movie, or the theory that Peter and Co. are the souls of dead children?). You can see that influence throughout the story, and apparently David and the boys were meant to contrast with Michael in the way they represent adolescence, given they're eternal teenagers.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I don't get that very much. I'm sure it's there, but in terms of x vs y, the vampires and the Frog brothers have always stood out more to me. Compare the two kids trying so hard to appear grown up (Edgar even puts on a deep voice that fools no one) and the four kids who will literally never grow up.

I also called this a tragedy, at least as far as the boys are concerned. What else could it be, being a horror movie, but you watch scenes like the bike ride and it's fun and exciting and you understand what Schumacher is going for. They're alive and living in the moment, free in the way only kids seem to be. As you learn what they are, you realize that, for them, at least, this freedom is forever. Life will always be one big party going from one thrill to the next. The tag line is literally "never grow old, never die." And only one of those is true by the end of the movie. The gut punch about David's death (aside from the fact that he dies at all, what can I say, I'm obsessed with him) is that he doesn't go out like the others do, with blood and melting flesh and explosions. He just...dies, as that child choir kicks in one last time, and you see him for what he always was--a dead kid.

In conversation with tragedy is the theme of monsterhood as a whole. When Michael is faced with the reality of what his new friends are and what he himself is becoming, David has this to say: "You'll never grow old, Michael, and you'll never die. But you must feed." Spoken after the vampires have slaughtered half a dozen beach bums, we have the cost of immortality underlined for us. We've also seen Michael struggle against his new nature when he nearly attacked his own brother earlier in the movie, and it's not like he chose to go after Sam because he's evil. It's instinct. Hunger. A matter of survival. We see him alternatively warning Sam to stay away from him and pleading for help to stop what's happening to him because he doesn't want to become a monster, a killer like David. And that's what makes David and the rest of the boys the antagonists, because their survival depends on killing and feeding on other people, but that's all they're doing, is surviving according to their nature. That's the tragedy of monsterhood.

Along with the realization that someone had to have done that to these kids. Someone chose to make them what they are, and that's the real evil of the story.

And speaking of Max, I appreciate the fake-out approach to revealing him as the real Big Bad. It's very Scream, where you were pretty sure it was Billy the whole time but there was that one scene that threw a temporary wrench in your theory. But Star's line about Max being a secret David was protecting comes out of nowhere in a way that feels like there was a bit more context for it initially, but it never made the final cut.

Which leads me to my other gripe. The pacing and timeline don't seem to be in obvious cooperation. Again, it feels like more was there at one point, but transitional scenes were left out, so it's hard to tell how much time passes between the Emersons moving to Santa Carla and the final showdown. Things could either happen very quickly in which case the escalation is on a level with Romeo and Juliet, or it's more spaced out and the space isn't apparent. And I'm leaning towards the "spaced out" approach.

Now. Allow me a few more indulgent moments, because we gotta talk about David.

Look at him.

LOOK AGAIN.

Istg, he stepped around the bend of that merry-go-round and I said, out loud, with words, "oh shit." I had a crisis for days afterward due to the gender envy. I STILL don't know if I want him or if I want to be him. (I'm too fond of my hair as it is to even think about whether or not I'm brave enough for a bleached mullet, so at least I don't really have to think too hard about the answer.) All this to say, can you really blame Michael? One look at this guy and I didn't know what kind of egg joke I wanted to make, so I'm not surprised our boy Mike was trying so hard to fit into this group.

(Yes, you're correct, I'm circling back to my opening statement.)

You can read this as straight up, pun slightly intended, guys being dudes and Michael just wanting to be accepted by the local cool kids. Makes sense, really. They are cool. He's the new kid in town, and that folds right into the usual coming of age narrative with finding your place in the world along with discovering your own identity, etc etc. But if that's the case, then why all the long, frequent, intense eye contact?

@verified-villain-fxcker gets it. 🥂

Look, I'm sure if you tried hard enough to find a heterosexual explanation for the homoerotic tension I'm seeing, you could. But you're on this site, browsing the tag for this movie, so do you really want to? I've got a whole thesis statement on how Schumacher being a gay man/identity influencing one's art/motorcycle clubs being part of queer culture rattling around somewhere in my head, but to keep mostly on topic, I'm sticking with this: part of the coming of age story is discovering your identity, which includes your sexuality. Therefore, it's hardly a stretch to say this is a movie about gay awakening as much as anything else and that Michael Emerson is a disaster bisexual. Of course I'm not the first person to see it that way, but Pride Month is almost over. What else was I going to end on?

He's queer, your honor. Happy Pride. 🏳️‍🌈

[i-didnt-hate-it]

I didn't hate Abigal, it was a lot of fun!

I was sick the week Abigail released, so I'm just watching it now because I'm not going to see the new Planet of the Apes, I haven't seen any of them yet.

Now THIS is how you do a Dracula's daughter story.

If you know anything about the movie going into it, you know what's coming, but they make you wait for it to actually happen. Making Hitchock's bomb a cute little girl? Bloody genius.

Abigail is a fun, exciting, bloody vampire movie. It's got to be hard to make an original and unique vampire movie these days, but I think Abigail did a good job of blending a Gothic tone with a modern gorefest vibe.

The soundtrack was pretty good, not quite outstanding, but not bad. The use of music (a la Tchaikovsky) was fun and really set the mood.

The casting was great. Giancarlo Esposito was very Giancarlo Esposito-y, Kathryn Newton was funny and made me want to watch Lisa Frankenstein even more (new horror queen?). Kevin Durand was great as "the muscle." Dan Stevens looked like he had a lot of fun. William Catlett and Angus Cloud were both solid. But of course the standouts are Melissa Barerra, definitely a horror queen, and Alisha Weir in the title role. It takes skill to make an audience believe a 12 year old girl is actually a centuries old vampire, but Alisha did it.

Spoilers below.

I feel like others might disagree, but I honestly loved the pacing of the movie. With how long it took for them to show Abigail as a vampire, it really gave time to get to know the characters.

The way they set the tone really somehow made it feel like a classic Universal horror, but it also felt fresh and modern too. Little things like the creepy basement, the rats(?), the big library, the statue garden thing. It really felt like they were in a house that someone had been living in for a looooong time.

I honestly love how two people died before Abigail ever bared her fangs. It really helped sell the idea that she was just playing with them. And the black guy didn't die first! It is kind of sickly ironic that Angus Cloud's character was the first to go (RIP), but I mean, bro was an absolute idiot.

I'm still not sure who my favorite character is, I really just loved the ensemble. I will say, I figured out the Rat Pack joke before Peter, not too long before, but still before.

I love when modern monster movies reference the lore, but make it their own. Like they reference all the stuff that kills vampires but only a couple of them actually work, the rest are just part of the legends.

I wasn't expecting to actually root for Abigail toward the end, but I loved the respect the was shared between her and Joey.

Those Ready or Not guys really love making people explode like bloody water balloons. I mean, what a way to go, I guess.

[thekingwhereitallends]

Boruto: Tenchijin Chapter Three; Tempting the Gods!

Genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Action

Summary: More characters being introduced to the readers and show their growth. That may include living legends and forgotten guardians.

Date:Jan.20th 2042

"I trained you to be much better than this. Come on, not even landing a single hit ruins both your's and my reputation!" Hanabi yells at her pupils who are hyperventilating.

"Are you serious? You have been considered to lead the clan, many said you are the best the hyuga has to offer." Wasabi states.

Wasabi Izuno, standing at one hundred sixty two centimeters tall, she has grown her hair out, now wears sleeveless green jacket with fishnet shirt and grey pants. She is a chunin.

"Firstly, whoever said that has certainly not seen all hyugas in combat. Secondly, I've been holding back against you three." Hanabi asserts.

"You are cutting our ninjutsu in half like butter. We can't break through your rotation technique and there's not a single one of us who can cast a genjutsu on you strong enough that your byakugan would not help you see through the illusions." Namida claims.

Namida Suzumeno, one hundred fifty four centimeters tall, wearing crop-top brown and white jacket and black fishnet shirt underneath, also brown pants with white linings. She's been promoted to chunin rank.

"So hop-" Hanabi is cut off, begins to spit blood and grunt.

A sword found it's way through neck and pummels her to the ground, leaving a pool of blood.

It's Tsubaki who was waiting for the right time to catch her mentor offguard using the weak spot of byakugan to her advantage.

Tsubaki Kurogane, one hundred sixty centimeters tall, has finally succeeded Mifune as leader of samurai and wields his kurosawa blade. She's a tokubetsu jonin, specializing in kenjutsu. She wears an armor now, with the same color palette of white, black and pink.

The girls are in shock, terrified of Hanabi whose body shivers uncontrollably.

They turn to Tsubaki and frown at him with a displeased expression.

"I know that's a shadow clone but why being so vicious?" Wasabi says.

"Couldn't you knock her down with sheath of your sword?" Namida asks.

"Don't scold me. She did hit a nerve." Tsubaki responds, sighing.

"That's was a clean hit." A voice comes from Hanabi's side. It's sinister and like the demons in horror movies people watch in the cinema if one asked the teen girls to describe it.

The injured Hanabi stands up, her sclreae turning black slowly and byakugan having red color, the girls get spooked upon seeing her in such a terrifying state.

"Geeze, she's gonna suck the soul out of us." Wasabi speculates, trembling.

"Please spare me..." Namida begs Hanabi, rivers streaming down from her eyes.

"Make it a quick death." Tsubaki says, sitting on her knees, offering her sword to her mentor.

Hanabi stands infront of Tsubaki, grabs her student's sword in hands and takes the kenjutsu stance. "Any last words, little girl?"

"Let my friends go." Tsubaki says, shutting her eyes.

"A woman of honour... How admirable." Hanabi responds. "Your wish is granted."

Hanabi swings the sword as Wasabi and Namida scream for her to stop just so the surrounding area transforms and they realize they have been trapped in genjutsu.

"Oi." Hanabi groans, pinching Tsubaki's ear and lifts her up. "You are too reckless."

"There's no rule in fighting. Isn't that what you taught us?" Tsubaki cries, trying to escape Hanabi's grasp.

"Cheeky brat." Hanabi lets go of Tsubaki.

"I bet that was one of coolest things you've ever seen in your life?" Tsubaki asks Hanabi, who stares at her with widened eyes, pouting.

Everyone looks at Hanabi who has locked eyes on Tsubaki, and after a few seconds they all burst to laughter.

"I must admit you looked badass when you stabbed me in the neck inside my genjutsu." Hanabi confesses, pushing Tsubaki away.

"Your dracula transformation was gorgeous!" Says Namida who pinches her fingers and thumb, kisses them and dramatically tosses them away from her lips.

"We are bunch of deranged ninjas who must be locked in asylum!" Iwabe claims, grinning.

Hanabi then remembers her sister who used to laugh with her, together they had so many precious moments.

"You all better be ready the next time because i won't go easy on you." The smile on Hanabi's face fades and he starts to walk away from her students.

"Was our performance that bad?" Namida wonders.

"No. You did well." Hanabi responds.

"Take care of yourself, Sensei." Wasabi shouts.

"Yeah..." Hanabi says, thoughts filling her mind.

'Big sis...' Hanabi looks at the sky, the moon visible in the afternoon. 'Forgive me for not being there to save you...'

Hanabi sits on a bench in a park, wearing a sad smile on her face. 'Tsubasa-kun, don't you dare die on me...' Hanabi thinks, squeezing her eyes shut.

Hanabi might appear to be flirtatious and naughty but she had only developed romantic feeling for one person who never desired to be in any love affair: Tsubasa Emiya. Ever since she was a child, Hanabi was interested in Tsubasa for being the mysterious, idealistic and virtuous champion he is.

Tsubasa did complimented her, told her that she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, but he never developed romantic feelings for or sexual attraction towards Hanabi. He still didn't wish to break her heart, and Hanabi didn't want to give up on him.

.

.

.

"Woah!" Metal Lee cries staring at the boy in white and blue armor levitating in the sky.

Metal Lee, one hundred seventy five centimeters tall, wearing the same clothes of his father Rock Lee, now significantly less anxious than he was as a child. He's a tokubetsu jonin who specializes in taijutsu.

"What's that? A sorta anti-gravity technology?" Iwabe shouts.

Iwabe Yuino, one hundred eighty one centimeters tall, now a bit more buffed and muscular. He carries a long staff on his back. He's currently a tokubetsu jonin specializing in Bojutsu.

"Nope!" Denki lands on earth and starts walking toward Iwabe and Metal. "There's no such thing in physics. And yes, i know i'm a ninja who can do magic tricks but please let me explain the mechanism in simple terms."

Denki Kaminarimon, one hundred sixty six centimeters tall, he has grown a longer ponytail and his bangs now reach his jawline. Denki has a higher-rank than his teammates as he's been promoted to jonin after his accompolishments as a scientist that are considered to be revolutionary, but also his progress in all categories.

"I'll pretend i can compehend what's gonna come out of your mouth." Iwabe states.

"Is the explanation gonna be that complex?" Metal asks Denki.

"Ah, imagine that the inertial mass of an object is the tendecy of matter to stay where it is and resist acceleration. Gravitational weight has two aspects: a mass experiences a force in presence of a gravity field, and it also produces a gravity field itself. Mass-Energy is the general relativity which says that you get tons of energy by converting mass into energy. Usually in these equations, the objects have positive mass. Now can you guess just what happens if objects have negative mass?" Denki explains, leaving Iwabe and Metal dumbfounded.

"It would defy gravity, i think?" Iwabe responds, breaking a sweat.

"A negative mass in gravitational field will experience a force in opposite direction from the source of the force, producing negative grativational field which repels the other object with positive mass instead of attracting it. If both objects produces equal forces then there is no acceleration... which means there is no motion. My body is source of energy and the armor converts it into negative mass of desired proportions which allows me to travel at incredible speeds." Denki explains.

"But you will run out of chakra pretty quickly like this." Metal says.

"I have thought about that beforehand. Borrowing Katasuke-senpai's technology and modifying it, I can now absorb ninjutsu and even nature energy. I will spend some of my time transfering my chakra into this armor in case i need it for a mission. I can last three days on battlefield if i have to." Denki responds.

"I bet you have installed other stuff too." Iwabe assumes.

"Hehe." Denki giggles.

"Damn, bro just became the strongest of our generation." Iwabe shouts loudly.

"Maybe fifth or sixth on the list. I have a long way to go." Denki replies, scratching his nose.

"At least you are the smartest." Metal says.

"Regarding quantum physics, chemistry, mathematics, computer engineering, computer science and information technology yes i am indeed on the top." Denki asserts.

"I totally believe you." Metal says, while Iwabe is left jawdropped.

'I knew he's a bookworm but this is insane. No wonder Shikamaru considered Denki to have higher IQ than him.' Iwabe thinks.

"Boys!" Udon calls his pupils, who turn around immediately and bow to him. "That's a nice armor you wear, Denki."

"Oh this? It's not an ideal design. But yeah, thank you so much." Denki responds, smiling.

"Are you planning to become otsutsuki hunter or something?" Iwabe asks Denki.

"No, haha. I just want it to be functional and fix some minor problems." Denki answers.

"I don't want you to talk about that." Metal says, with horrified expression on his face.

"Me neither." Iwabe agrees as he's broken into sweats since Denki talked about the science fields he excells at.

"You are assigned to a S-rank mission. Here." Udon says, using a smartwatch invented by Denki himself called ElectroStorm in order to send the data to his team who have smartwatches around their wrists. "Let's go."

.

.

.

"Orochimaru-sama, i think we have found the whereabouts of Toneri Otsutsuki." A gentle and youthful voice emanates from an elegant lady dressed in a black cloak, her eyes glow in the dark room and make her appearance known.

Seina Shakudõ, fourty one years old, standing at one hundred sixty centimeters tall, she has a tender and lean frame, long wavy copper red hair, turquoise colored orbs and a nostril piercing on left side of her nose, she is of fair complexion and her skin has a tint of pale peach pink. She wears a dark green and black dress underneath her cloak and has polished her nails in black.

Originally a kunoichi of takigakure who was born with wood style kekkei genkai due to random genetic mutation that made her especially versatile and superior to her peers, Seina was indeed a prodigy who was not fond of the cruel world created by ninjas. Withdrawn and inward-looking, Seina has always sought peace in nature, and her calm presence allows her to approach the deadliest animals and bond with them, she is even capable of communicating with them through means of telepathy.

However, there is a contrasting belief which defines Seina and she blames it on her weirdness. Seina in her childhood was captivated by the tales she heard about Orochimaru and studied his philosophy and had researches on him. As a fan of fantasy novels, Lord of Darkness represented three aesthetic character tropes that she was obsessed with: goth, mad scientist and vampire.

Since Orochimaru was feared as the most notorious criminal on the planet, and Seina was surely not fond of the genocides her favorite ninja was committing. After fourth shinobi world world war's conclusion, Seina learnt that Orochimaru hadn't received death penalty because of him assisting the shinobi alliance by reanimated the hokage and also his possession of unparalled knowledge, Seina was hesitant and asked herself if heading toward otogakure is in accordance to her morals or not.

Seina visited Orochimaru and asked him to accept her as his apprentince, and Orochimaru was amused by her courage and the mysterous essence of her's, found her to be a very pleasant company over the course of time. Seina was wary of Orochimaru's ambitions and looked for a hint of malevolence in his eyes, but she figured that his heart had softened and he had no desire to return to his old methods.

"He's been sealed away, is that correct?" Orochimaru speculates, taking a sip from their cup of tea.

"Log-kun had been looking for his presence in the past three weeks, and figured that Toneri has been imprisoned in dragon king's palace. Nevertheless, it seems to be impossible for your eldest son to tear the fabric of space-time for unknown reasons. It must be protected by one of the gods you occassionaly speak of." Seina suggests.

"I presume Karin's adamantine chains are not effective then." Orochimaru utters.

"Sadly not. Jugo-kun, Suigetsu-kun and i tried to force our way through it, but the barrier seems to be impenetrable." Seina says.

"What is that made of?" Jugo wonders, going back to his human form, heavily panting.

"Aren't you supposed to be descendant of a sea god or something?" Karin asks Suigetsu, falling on her knees.

"Descendant of a tough dude who lived in ancient times, babe! This perfect being right here can't do shit, what do you expect from a lazy swordsman like me?" Suigetsu retorts as he's turned into a small pool of water, Log who is lying on the floor lifts his head to glare at the swordsman of the mist.

"Get lost." Log responds, not even bothering to mention that he was the only one capable of sensing Toneri's presence who was located in another dimension that was possibly protected against psychic powers with a barrier technique of elder gods.

"Stop it you all. This is going far beyond just awkward and hilarious." Yoruza claims while sitting cross-legged, and moans after so much chakra she had used up.

Yoruza Hozuki, Suigetsu Hozuki's and Karin's pale-skinned and redheaded daughter with violet eyes and neck-length hair. Yoruza is fifteen years old, has a muscular frame, stands at one hundred seventy centimeters. She is skilled in swordsmanship, medical ninjutsu and sealing arts. In contrast to her parents who are outgoing and extroverted, Yoruza is introverted and shiftless, but has inherited her father's sardonic sense of humour and her mother's short fuse.

"How troublesome." Orochimaru put their cup on the table and rise on their feet.

"I can tell that you know a solution already." Seina asserts, licking her lips.

"I just know. I can't do anything about it." Orochimaru mutters, gets past Seina, who follows their lead. "No one can."

'If only he was here...' Seina thinks as she is walking behind the greatest of legendary sannin. 'Please... play it safe... Tsubasa-kun...'

During her early days as Orochimaru's apprentice, Seina had the chance to meet Sasuke Uchiha who visited his former mentor for guidance and preparations in case his wife bears his child.

Tsubasa, who was eleven years old at the time, was partnered with Sasuke, caught Seina's eyes. Seina was often annoyed by kids and considered them to be annoying, but Tsubasa was different, reminded her of herself. Polite and sarcastic, Tsubasa radiated confidence and humility, and was phlegmatic about socialization and instead lingered in solitude to attain a superior self-awareness.

Tsubasa's supernatural intuition drew him towards Seina, perceived her as a girl who not only shares similar interests with him but is also wise, considerate and reserved. Tsubasa was an author and Seina an illustrator. Seina was fascinated by Tsubasa's personality and how he mirrored her in various ways while retaining his mysterious essense. Seina was there for Tsubasa when he was down at times, perhaps he was often far away from her and expressed his feelings in unorthodox manners, she knew he loved her.

For Tsubasa, Seina was an angel sent from heavens to balm her wounded heart. A bright star in the darkest nights of his life.

"May i contract Sarada-chan and Mitsuki-kun?" Seina asks her master.

"They are already hard-pressed. I'm afraid i have no choice but to tempt the gods! Fufufu..." Orochimaru let out a mischevious laughter that puts a smile on Seina's face.

[dhampiravidi]

🍰 to bake my muse’s favorite treat for them (Cassia bringing over baked goods for Jayn or for her to bake them something while they're hanging out together~)

They figured it was time for another girls' day since their shopping trip had been pretty fun. The only problem was, the weather had been crappy for the last week or two, and the forecast wasn't showing anything but rain for the foreseeable future. That meant no trips to the city, because the street would be gross the whole day. So the girls settled on a lazy day inside. They could listen to the music they both liked, rant about Dracula (the current focus of their book club), and...

[Cassia]: Want me to bring lunch?

[Jayn}: Nooo! You don't have to...

[Jayn]: We can make toasted sandwiches! Is that OK?

[Cassia]: 😲😍🥪

[Jayn]: Haha OK 😁

[Cassia]: What about COOKIES?

[Jayn]: *screams* ♥♥♥ shh don't tell the 🥪

So they were going to bake cookies, talk, and then nom their lovely treats. The sandwiches would get made whenever the girls actually got hungry. Jayn politely asked Evelyn to add chocolate chips, oats, and the usual baking ingredients to the grocery list. Mrs. Danvers agreed, on the condition that she get at least two cookies once they're baked. That meant the girls were making twenty cookies.

"Hey!" Jayn cried, ushering Cassia in so she could get out of the cold and the rain. "I hope Ty and Aaron weren't too gross," she said teasingly. The couple had dropped Cass off, since their D&D group had had a short session scheduled that afternoon anyway.

"Nah, they're always cute." The (slightly) shorter of the two shrugged off her wet raincoat, which Jayn took and put in the closet the Danvers had just for...well, guests' coats. That way it had a chance to dry without dripping on anything. "Hey," Cass echoed with a grin, hugging Jayn. It seemed silly to ask how she'd been, since they texted every day they didn't see each other.

"OK, so fill me in!" They both plopped down on a couch so Cassia could tell Jayn the story of the most recent D&D campaign drama. Cass was an excellent storyteller, and Jayn was a great listener, asking questions about the character development and the plot (Jayn didn't need any lore explanation because she'd binged most of the Forgotten Realms wikia). The whole conversation always ended in lots of giggling, especially when the girls started coming up with ridiculous ways the campaign might end. Then, the subject turned to Dracula, which their book club was reading, and to school after that.

"He's just so monotone," Jayn huffed, talking about her boring Freshman Seminar professor, "I have to take notes, and text you guys, and sit on a textbook just to stay awake...ugh. I feel like I'm boring you talking about him. Sorry--"

"Hey, it's OK! Ranting is what best friends are for," Cass assured her. "So: what makes this recipe you found 'The Best Cookie Recipe Ever'?" She wasn't big on sweets herself, but she was happy to bake with Jayn, and excited to see what Evelyn, her dad, and their friends would think of the cookies.

"Alright! Well, the website said they're the best cookies, but I think they are--or, they will be. They have oats in them. And Evelyn got the rich people-kind of stuff, so they're gonna be five-star." With that, the girls jumped up and hurried to the kitchen. Jayn got all the dry ingredients out, since she knew where everything was kept, and Cass got the milk, butter, and baking tools. It wasn't long before there were globs of sugary dough placed on cookie sheets and slid into the waiting oven. "The best part..." Jayn grinned mischievously, holding up the bowl with cookie batter remnants up to the heavens. Cass just snickered at her friend's weirdness. They talked about the movies that were set to come out in a few months while Jayn ate batter off of the wooden spoon they'd used to mix everything.

"I think it's cute. And it's definitely original," Cassia said about The Proposal, "Do you think we can get Pogue and Caleb to see it?"

"Yeah! I mean, Pogue might complain on the way there, but he'll still go, and he probably thinks Sandra Bullock is pretty anyway. Caleb'll say yes because it's a fun thing for the four of us to--ugh." While shoving the spoon in her mouth, a bit of batter had gotten stuck on the corner of Jayn's lips. She set the bowl down and moved towards Cassia, meaning to get to the napkins in the pantry, but her friend stood in her way.

"C'mere..." Cass took half a step forward and carefully wiped off the stray sugar with her thumb. Without thinking, she sucked her thumb clean and hummed at the taste cutely, completely oblivious to how Jayn's eyes were glued on her.

"Cassie." It was barely a whisper, more like a sigh, really, but it was enough. Surprised by the nickname, she looked up in time to see the look on Jayn's face. They went in for a kiss at the same time, both unsure. And then they quickly pulled back. "I'm sorry. I-I shouldn'tve thought you wanted...I'm sorry," Jayn mumbled, on the verge of tears.

Cass was thrown back to when her friend, her ex-girlfriend, had made her look like a perv when they were caught kissing. She touched Jayn's cheek, which made her freeze, and then leaned in for a slower, warmer kiss, before she tried to step back.

"Cassie," Jayn repeated, desperate this time. She gently put her hands on the other girl's waist, only holding her tightly once they kissed again. It was like a practiced dance, how they moved with each other. Well, at first. They parted when they needed to breathe, and then they collided with each other again, Cassia pushing Jayn so her back was against the counter. She bravely nibbled on Jayn's lower lip, which earned her a gasp, and then her hands moved up to feel her friend's breasts.

"Why'd you wear a bra?" she huffed, and they both laughed breathlessly.

"My ass isn't wearing a bra," Jayn retorted, and before Cass could figure out what she meant, she herself was groaning, closing her eyes while kisses were painted down her jaw, down to her collarbone. Proud of her efforts, Jayn paused to nuzzle at a spot there, mumbling something about pretty girls and little freckles. Cassia managed to calm herself enough to take the hint from earlier and squeeze Jayn's ass, which made Jayn whimper and press herself into the other girl. They both laughed gently, exchanging a few lazy kisses before they decided to just stand there, holding each other.

They would've been the best cookies ever even if they were burnt.

@in--somnium

[advnterccs-archive]

-sends my URL in with a plate of frog-shaped cookies-

SEND A URL AND I WILL ANSWER THE FOLLOWING || accepting

DO I FOLLOW THEM?: ofc I do 💙 We've been mutuals for a whole year now !! and even if it doesn't feel like all that time has passed, i've enjoyed every single minute of it ! not only getting to interact with you here on tumblr, but also developing everything through discord ! you've been a big part of my days and the reason why i have a smile on my face ! whether it's bc we're talking OOC or because of something our muses are doing ^.^

WHY DID I FOLLOW THEM?:  I took one look at the muse page, saw Rick and Morty AND Gravity Falls, i was like "oh fuck yes !!" and it was an instant follow from then on xD then i realized how cool you were and how eager you were to jump on the silly little idea i had about having two C-137 Ricks exist at the same time and i just knew you were the best from then on xD

DO WE ROLE PLAY?: The better question is when do we not roleplay ? xD i think we pretty much roleplay whenever we get the chance and i enjoy it bc i love how our muses talk with each other, whether it's canon or out of canon shenanigans

DO I WANT TO ROLE PLAY WITH THEM: Always 🥰🥰🥰 i can't imagine not roleplaying with you, obviously IRL stuff comes first, but i'm always willing to be patient and wait, and i know you're the same way !!

AN AU IDEA FOR OUR MUSES: i don't have any 😩 but i do have a plot idea for you. I don't know if you've heard of the movie / show Fantasy Island (a whole island that brings ones fantasies to come alive), the show was more lighthearted but the movie about it is a horror movie. Anyway, i'm thinking more of the horror aspect >:D imagine the Ricks & Mortys go to a dimension where it's like Fantasy Island-esque, ones wildest dreams come true, it's like a resort and things go well. That is until not only their dreams come true, but their nightmares come alive 🤭🤭

A SONG FOR OUR MUSES:  you know i always have songs for our muses but i just can't think of any right now, at least not for these set of muses 👀 i do have a song for a certain ship of ours, i'll link it here and maybe you can guess who i'm thinking about xD paparazzi by kim dracula

DO I SHIP OUR MUSES?:  Yess !! ofc !! Not only on this blog but all of my other blogs as well xD it's always surprising how well our muses fit together, it leaves me stunned that we managed to find all of our muses each other's soulmates u-u especially the Ricks and Mortys, like everything they do is soulmate behavior and i love to see it xD

WHAT I THINK ABOUT THE MUN: Scotty, you're gonna have to excuse me for getting a little sappy here xD i can't help it !! I've said it many times before and I know you keep saying i'm biased (even if i am just a little 🤭) but it's true and I mean it when I say I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met. You're a great writer and you inspire me so much. As a friend and partner, you've been there for me when things went to shit in my IRL and you've shown me so much support that i'm so grateful for it !! I'm really happy to have met you and you're very special to me uwu !! I hope that we can know each other for a long, long time bc you're someone i can't imagine not knowing 💙💜

OVERALL OPINION:  A great mun and an excellent person ! Very great selection of muses as well that are fully developed and fleshed out. Also i really really like them so pls go follow them or i'll hunt you down and make you follow them 😤😤😤

BLOG RATE: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10!!

[the-last-doppelganger]

"Dracula's Br- did you just come up with that? Wow, innovative, amazing, original- wait you forgot that I have colour in my outfits and also my make up isnt just black and red. Have you ever seen a Dracula movie? Getting a head start on inaccuracies of a failed writer are we?" The vampire smirked as she almost lazily paced the room.

"Awww you think you matter because in your seventeen some odd years of life you've managed to rope three very stupid boys into loving you, and only lost what... two thirds of your family? Caroline hates you just as much as she loves you, coin toss on the day which one she feels more. You've done nothing but cost Bonnie everything multiple times. Stefan and Damon only care about you because they're chasing the life they wanted with me... Elena Gilbert your little Castle de superior is built on an imaginary foundation.

You're only standing so tall because you have yet to realize you have zero legs to stand on, your delusions are truly something to aspire to. I've never seen anyone believe in something as hard as you think you're worth any of the shit you some how have."

Elena rolled her eyes at Katherine’s dramatic antics, “well, you do look like one of Dracula’s brides. Seducing unsuspecting men. And, you wear black all the time, and are constantly covered in people’s blood. So most of your makeup looks smeared in red anyway. The only time you wear colours is when you pretend to be me.”

She watched Katherine pace around the room, “you do like pretending to be me, don’t you? Even if a lot of my family is gone, I actually have some, unlike you. And look at how many people you listed out - Bonnie, Caroline, Stefan, Damon. There’s also Tyler, Jeremy, Matt, but you wouldn’t understand relationships like that. I mean, who do you have? A witch you’ve blackmailed into doing your bidding? No one else sticks around, you know. Except Klaus, I guess. He’ll never stop chasing you, and he’s probably the only consistent person in your life.

Klaus. Not Elijah. Who can’t even bear to look at you. When he looks at you, all he sees is a monster in the place of a girl he once loved. And of course, that girl wasn’t really you, it was the original doppelgänger. Besides, you’re the one who’s delusional. The only time anyone is ever kind to you, or cares about you, is when you’re pretending to be me.”

@malka-lisitsa

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Last Vampire on Earth (2010)

There’s nothing like a knockoff to make you appreciate the real thing. We’ve seen many Twilight imitators over the years and The Last Vampire on Earth is easily the worst one. This film only has two modes: utter boredom and unintentional, all-consuming, laugh-so-hard-you’ve-got-tears-coming-out-of-your-eyes unintentional hilarity.

While rehearsing for a play adaptation of Dracula, college student Chloe Parish (McKenzie Grimmett) begins hanging out with and becoming closer to Aurelius (Michael Bole), a classmate playing the titular role. While studying the legends of the vampire, she begins wondering if the man she’s falling for could be one.

The word “knockoff” isn’t exactly appropriate. I think the correct term this time is “plagiarism”. Entire scenes are lifted word-for-word from Stephenie Myers’ book. Yes, I'm saying "book" rather than the "movie adaptation". This film is so poorly made the effort to pop the DVD into a player and manually type all of the dialogue to ensure the correct punctuation must have been too much for writer Mandie Abraham. I know the credits SAY this film is based on the 104-page novel of the same name (published in 2010) but come on; it’s Twilight.

Where to begin? How about with the cast? I can’t remember the last time I saw someone less qualified to be a leading man than Michael Bole. He doesn’t lack charisma, he has anti-charisma. Constantly mumbling his lines without a drop of enthusiasm, he is never convincing as a human being, much less a 2,000+ year-old vampire. He and McKenzie Grimmett have no chemistry, whatsoever. You don’t need to see the one very brief, icy kiss - the one she seems to recoil from in disgust - to believe these two would never EVER fall in love. To be fair, you can’t blame her. I once heard the film described as “'Twilight' if they replaced Robert Pattinson with an ogre”. It’s cruel… but also fitting. Don’t think I’m letting the female lead off the hook. She’s clearly either a big fan of Twilight who got suckered into this project, or an amateur with absolutely no future in Hollywood. Either way, it’s painful to watch.

The picture is poorly shot. The special effects are at the level of a middle-school project hurriedly churned out over a single afternoon. A weird filter applied to every single frame makes the film look like it was shot through a cardboard tube and the effect isn’t even centered most of the time. Then there are small details which pass by so quickly you might miss them (no thanks to the lack of subtitles). When Chloe learns Aurelius has been alive for two millennia, she asks him if he met Jesus. Of course, he says yes, Because no shitty movie about immortals is complete without the revelation that they were present for every single big event in human history. The pasty lunk replies that yeah he met Jesus, and that he was a pretty cool guy. So wait, it’s a vampire movie in which Jesus lived… and the vampire isn’t affected by crucifixes?

The writing is on a level so low even film enthusiasts who see everything are unlikely to have encountered anything like it before. It’s no secret that Twilight was heavily influenced by Stephenie Meyer’s Mormon faith. At first glance, this film’s not-Bella being a Jehovah’s witness doesn’t seem out of place. It even seems a little clever, as the Witnesses do not believe in blood transfusions. But then, you see the characters go to a church and it becomes clear this is simply window-dressing riddled with mistakes. What did you expect? The film can’t even manage to give its vampire pointed teeth. Doing something like basic research would be just way too hard.

Even within its own logic and mythology, The Last Vampire on Earth is packed thick with mistakes, illogical choices and actions which make no sense. There is nothing, NOTHING this film manages to get right, not even the DVD menu, which doesn’t even include an option to jump to a scene. Closing your eyes while The Last Vampire on Earth is playing is a sweet, sweet relief so there's a chance it may put you to sleep. To watch it, you’ll need to strain your ears so you can hear what the characters are saying. It’s shockingly bad but sprung unto an unsuspecting audience, it can be a riot. There are so many aspects of this picture to pick apart and the effort involved in the project so fruitless you can have a good time with what is undoubtedly one of the worst productions I’ve ever seen. (On DVD, November 30, 2018)

[see-arcane]

Defanging Dracula—The Noble-Romantic-Playboy VS The Horror Villain

Now that the ranting and raving on behalf of Lucy, Jonathan, and Mina’s character portrayals in media adaptations is out of the way, I think it’s only fair that Dracula has someone vouch for him too. Not because he deserves it as a person—being an entity powered exclusively by the Need to Be a Bloodsucking Bastard—but as a character who has always been, and deserves to be respected as, a genuinely insidious, terrifying, incredibly engaging monster of a villain.

To be clear, if this prick were to be updated on the state of all the myriad movies and spinoffs and offshoot tales centered on him, I have no doubt he would be delighted with what his fellow heroic cast members were relegated to. The man lives for other people’s misery. Up to a point, I think he’d love things like Francis Ford Coppola’s take, his Castlevania counterpart, even the Sexy von Suaveman version of himself in, The Invitation.

But he would only suffer it up to a point. Because hilarious as it must be to see his favorite victims watered down, pimped out, and/or erased outright? There’s no way he’d be able to stomach the unironically wistful charismatic prettyboy romance novel-cover treatment he gets subjected to.

Canon Dracula: “Wow, you’re really going all out on this ‘fake pining for the mortal chick’ stance. Amazing how you don’t break character.”

Assorted Noble-Romantic-Playboy Draculas: “Oh, it’s not an act. We legitimately are just on the hunt for the Right Lady to sate our sensual and yearning hearts. Also taking revenge when she dies. Or reincarnates. Or whatever. Anyway, all our acts are powered by sexy sexy desire and liberation and love :)”

Canon Dracula, has aged another 300 years upon hearing this: “…Is this what it’s like for the humans when they’re around me? Because I can feel every atom of my being trying to retreat and die in an effort not to suffer your presence.”

Really, I want you to sit and think about the last time you ever encountered a Dracula—or the goth heartthrob being sold as ‘Dracula’—that was horrifying. Not ‘ooh, he’s such a bad boy!’ not ‘oh he’s such a tragic villain!’ or ‘oh he’s so badass and cool!’ dark fantasy crap. I mean actually, legitimately frightening.

The kind of creep you would feel watching you at a party. And leaving the party. And going down the street. And in your room.

The kind of bogeyman you pray every night isn’t standing in a shadow—or is the shadow, trailing along after you, waiting for you to wear out. Because you will. He won’t. He’s got all night, friend.

The kind of walking, talking, smiling nightmare that embodies the worst (affectionate) of mastermind manipulative abusers and no-frills vicious monstrosity. Psychological torture for his ‘friends’ and idle slaughter for the cattle (sorry, tiny children, nameless mother, Demeter crew, Mr. Swales, the mastiff pup, the list goes on).

Dracula is meant to be intimidating. And sure, that can be alluring. But before that, and after that, the intimidation has to come from the fact that he is a next level sadist. Directors could never throw this guy into a romantic setting without defanging and sandblasting him down to a smoldering caricature.

If you had Canon Dracula in a story with an interested admirer going full-blown willing victim~ ;) <3 xoxo at him, all while their friend tried desperately to break through the haze of contemporary, ‘But humans are the REAL VILLAINS, monsters are just HOT INHUMAN OTHER-METAPHORS who want love..!’ lens to point out, hey, this guy has absolutely rancid serial killer vibes, we should go, do you know what would happen?

Dracula would, in evil cat fashion, either ignore or immediately kill his admirer and set his sights firmly on the person who wants absolutely nothing to do with him. Why? Because he’s fucking Dracula and he wants what’s most miserable and terrifying for everyone.

He’s meant to be gleefully evil. He’s meant to be The Classic Supernatural Gothic Villain © ™. None of this misunderstood monster shit. The characters understand him. He understands himself. And that understanding is that he loves being a torturous (not tortured :’c), unrepentant overpowered utter asshole of an immortal self-made demon.

The world is his playground and unlimited blood buffet. But fresh necks and undead babes aren’t even the half of it. We’ve seen how much fun he has playing mind games as much (or more than) the actual fruition of the fulfilled threat. This guy burned two whole months on toying with Jonathan. He’s just starting the slow burn game with Lucy. He’s all about savoring the flavor of a well-seasoned nightmare inflicted on new playmates/playthings.

And that is so goddang interesting in a monster! It’s rare! It’s unique! Here’s a guy who has nothing but time and power on his hands, and he uses that to amuse himself with picking out victims to turn into hobbies. Some get menaced and massacred. Some special cases get the full ‘courtship’ play as he drags them kicking and screaming into conversion against their will; which, if we’re looking at his pattern so far with Jonathan and Lucy, is absolutely his preference.

He. Is. A. Bastard!

And I love that for him! I love hating him, I love studying him like the malicious little bug he is, I love watching the victims and heroes put up a fight against him, I love all the tasty horror genre menace he’s been radiating for over a century!

But even he isn’t immune to being compressed and warped into a mockery of himself for adaptations’ sake. The vision of him as some Don Juan ravishing/wooing/pining for/avenging [INSERT DAMSEL HERE] has become practically the only version of him the general public is aware of. And that’s just as unfair as what’s been done to Mina, Jonathan, and Lucy.

tl;dr: Directors of all eras are seemingly allergic to treating the plot and cast of Dracula with any kind of respect in their takes, including the eponymous monster man himself. But as a token of goodwill, the Count has cordially invited all of them to a dinner at Castle Dracula to talk things over civilly. We’re sure they’ll be fine in the company of such a noble and trustworthy fellow.

[free-for-all-fics]

Random thoughts and ideas/prompts for Van Helsing 2004 Dracula because he’s underrated and I want more content of him 🩸If any of these inspire you to write something, please tag me 💜

1. What if you were in an enemies to lovers/Beauty and the Beast situation with Dracula? He keeps you a prisoner of sorts so he has eyes and ears on the human villages, maybe makes you pose as his sickly wife even, to lure humans to the castle under the false pretense that his wife is in urgent need of a doctor. But you also have a fire in you and stop fearing him at some point so you stop taking any of his melodramatic crap. You fall in love eventually. What would your relationship be like?

2. Write something for Van Helsing Dracula with the dialogue, “I will search forever in the dark.”

“You’re here. You’re here. I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave you again.”

3. Write something for Van Helsing Dracula with the Tuck Everlasting quote, “Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”

4. Write something for Van Helsing Dracula with the quote, “Ever think you’re lonely because you kill people?”

“Or I kill people because I’m lonely.”

5. While in his black wolf form, Dracula is injured badly enough to pass out. He wakes up in a wildlife rehab center, still in his wolf form, being cared for by the reader, who might make a delightful new bride. (That “There’s much to be learned from beasts” scene in Coppola’s Dracula got me like)

6. What if Dracula was actually successful in his efforts to reproduce and had children? What do you think Dracula (and his brides) would be like as a parent? Just imagine if Dracula produced viable offspring and they survived.

7. You accidentally cut yourself while using a letter opener or something. Dracula displays some self control, overcoming his vampire instincts so he can treat your injury. He knows you don’t want to be a vampire yet, and for some reason he can’t explain, he cares about you. You can tell it’s hard for him, you can see the pain & conflict in his eyes, fangs threatening to come out as he struggles to contain himself.

8. Reader is human and Dracula’s secret lover. But then tragedy strikes when reader is either killed or dies (accident, disease, what have you). So instead of Dracula going to Victor to make a monster, he demands Frankenstein resurrect you. He still wants you as his bride and he won’t take no for an answer. He loves you too much to let death claim you and take you away from him. He’ll make you immortal, even if you’re not a vampire as he intended. He may claim to be hollow, but you’re different. You make him feel.

9. In the video game, it’s shown that Dracula had a secret life and lover while he was mortal, even though this was forbidden by The Order. When her existence was discovered, the plan was to exile her. But after she was accidentally killed during attempts to capture her, Dracula turned to necromancy to try to bring his beloved back to life. Imagine a fic where reader was his past lover from the 1400s and is reincarnated during the movie’s timeline.

OR The Order was actually too late to stop him and little did Vladislaus know, he succeeded in resurrecting her before he was murdered. The resurrection just wasn’t instant and instead centuries had to pass before reader could wake up again, fully healed and regenerated - As if her murder never happened. Now she’s crawled out from her grave, awoken in Transylvania which looks different than what she remembers, even though to her it feels like only minutes have passed. What’s become of Vladislaus? What’s happened?

10. Or maybe a fic inspired by this dialogue from the game: “Why would any man betray his best friend? Jealousy? Ambition? Love? Someday you too will be cursed by love as I was, and all your efforts to resurrect it will turn to disgusting mockeries of what you once had, as have mine.”

11. Ok this one may seem very obvious but how about a fic or headcanons for being in a poly relationship with Dracula and his wives? Whether you’re human or vampire, up to you.

12. You’re on a trip to Transylvania with a few of your best friends. All of you collectively make the stupid decision to camp nearby Dracula’s castle. When you wake up in the morning, your friends are gone and you must go into the castle to save them. Who knows what lies within?

13. You’ve been raised to be a monster hunter by your village, but you’re getting tired of the chase and are wanting it to be over. For your latest mission, they’ve sent you to Dracula’s castle to put him down for good. You ascend the steps, gripping your sword in one hand and your crossbow in the other, prepared for a fight. What you find instead is a severely aged and tired Dracula, waiting for you. His brides are dead, and he hasn’t been able to feed in so long. Like you, he’s tired. Perhaps you can come to an arrangement that benefits you both.

14. You’ve just purchased a 15th century castle in Romania and moved your entire family in. Unfortunately, Dracula and his brides have returned home from an extended vacation.

15. Imagine being Dracula’s daughter (you’re a human he kidnapped surprise adopted from the village as a child after the first attempt of creating offspring burned to ashes). You’re now an adult and It’s your final birthday as a mortal. He throws a special Hallows Eve Ball in his summer palace because tonight you’ll be turned into a vampire and feed for the first time. (Imagine if you took after your mothers and father, and wanted to create 3 vampire brides for yourself as well. These brides could be male, female, whatever lol)

16. Imagine being Anna’s sister and one night you and some other people go off into the forest near Dracula’s castle for a mission, only for your party to get ambushed and killed by Dracula in his black wolf form. He kidnaps you and keeps you locked in a golden cage that’s attached to the ceiling, with only candles and a stained glass painting of the sun giving you the illusion of light in the dark room. He tells you that you “remind him of someone he once loved and lost long ago”. He wants to use you as bait for Van Helsing and Anna, but he actually has no intention of trading you. He wants to keep you for himself, believing you’re his reincarnated wife.

17. Imagine being human and living with Dracula and his wives. You’re either their daughter or another bride, up to you. Either way, imagine if monster hunters broke into the castle and found you first, mistaking you for a vampire. They incapacitate and start hurting you in ways that feel like torture, to try to get you to tell them where the other vampires are. Your screams and sounds of distress awaken Dracula and his brides, alerting them. It’s not yet dusk/twilight, so they’re unable to help you since the sun is still up. They can’t reach the room you’re in. By the time the sun sets and they can kill the hunters, you’re so wounded and on the brink of death. Dracula has no choice but to turn you. In your weakened state, you try to tell him no, that you’re not ready, but he regretfully tells you he must do this now. He bites you and forces you to drink his blood. Even if you try to spit it out, he won’t let you.

[waywardstraysau]

Their first class of the day was a basic, introductory lesson about the school itself, how it operated and the vocabulary they were likely to hear. Ford was excitedly waiting for them, with a massive smartboard behind him and some notes already written on it. He greeted them brightly, and gestured for them to sit at any of the half dozen desks in the small classroom. He explained that while this had been intended to be a formalized class for the entire student body, it eventually had to be cut down due to how little they actually knew. Now it was only held maybe once a month to inform the students of any new discoveries or breakthroughs regarding other worlds and traveling to them. The field was in its infancy, they had many more theories than actual facts.

Hunter was staring at the smartboard before them, his eyes wide at the strange device, Luz meanwhile was impressed the school had one at all. She had heard of more well off schools using them and even seen a few being sold online, but this was her first time seeing one in real life. King had taken a break from trying to lift every small nearby object with his new psychic spikes and leaned in to pay attention. “Now, this is a crash course lesson,” Ford explained, “There’s a few basic facts that you need to know that’ll make things easier while you’re here.” “Like… rules?” Hunter asked, the tiniest bit of enthusiasm in his voice. “Well, those too, but the main thing you’re going to learn is some of the terminology we use here in regards to the various worlds we’ve discovered. It’s mostly category titles to simplify things when we talk about them, as well as a few others you’ll need to know.” The teenage boy scowled but Luz leaned in, curious as to where this was going. “The first one is the easiest and most straightforward: “Door”.” “...I’m sorry, ''Door”? Is that what you said?” Luz questioned, her face slightly scrunched up. “Yes, it’s an umbrella term for all the ways in and out of the other worlds. The students have more specific names for them like “Ghost Portal” or “Little Door” and so on, but they just lead to one specific world and that’s it. Using “Doors” to cover it all helps keep things a bit easier in the long run.” “Huh… that… actually makes sense. Are they all door-shaped, the one Eda used to travel back and forth between the Boiling Isles and the Human Realm literally was one.” “Oh no, those actually are quite rare. Most look like swirling vortexes, some look like glowing magic water, so forth and so on, you get the jist.” Ford was happy to see the three of them were now leaning in, Hunter’s eyes were wide and shining, Luz was taking notes in her phone and King’s tail was wagging, almost like he was listening to a good story. “Now, the next term is “the Great Compass” though the Compass itself doesn’t come up too often. It’s the four, quote unquote, “directions” that are important.” He pointed to a drawing of a basic graph. “When I first started my research into other worlds, I found they landed somewhere within four “directions” as it were. However, as my understanding grew, I came to the realization that it had nothing to do with actual coordinates and that it was more a set of rules or patterns that the worlds would follow. As such, I chose to keep the terms to keep the understanding simple, even if they aren’t exactly accurate. Follow so far?” They nodded. “Good. Now, the four directions are Nonsense, Logic, Virtue, and Wicked and they’re exactly what they sound like. Nonsense worlds tend to work within their own sets of rules, for example, Luz, have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?” “Of course I have,” she nodded, “I mean, it’s been a while but I have seen it.” “That is a perfect example of a Nonsense world. Logic worlds meanwhile are more based in scientific reasoning, like… think of black and white horror movies, Dracula, Franknstien, the Wolfman, their science may not work here but those worlds rely on it all the same.” “...okay, I see what you mean,” she rubbed her chin, and the gears in her mind were spinning. “...I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hunter droned, looking utterly deadpan. “Yeah, I think we’re missing something here!” King snapped. “Don’t worry guys, I’ll show you those movies later,” she offered with a warm smile. “Thank you Luz, that will be a big help,” Ford smiled, “Now, the last two, Virtue and Wicked, can be a bit misleading. It doesn’t mean that the worlds are inherently bad or good, but more like a utopia vs an apocalypse. From the ones we’ve been able to properly explore and document, there tends to be a pattern of Nonsense and Virtue overlapping regularly, while Logic and Wicked do the same. However there are always exceptions to the rules. You all met Coraline yesterday, the world she went to was Average Nonsense and Very High Wicked, to the point she’s lucky to have escaped with her life.” “...it was that bad?” there was a twinge of worry in Luz’s voice. “Yes. If you want, you can ask her yourself.” “Follow up question!” Hunter said quickly, “Is the threat from that world able to come here?” “Oh no, the actions she took following her little adventure ensured no one would ever be able to enter that world again. Oh, and while we’re at it, it’s common courtesy here not to tell new students about someone else’s world unless they've given their express permission. Personal business and so on.” “That makes sense,” Luz said softly, and began to consider if she’d do the same, “Is there anything else?”

“There are a few more things, yes. There are some lesser directions on the compass, ones that can appear, but don’t always. The four I listed are constants and every world falls somewhere between them. These lesser directions include Whimsy, Rhyme, Linearity, Reason and a few we have yet to name. Now, the last big bit of information is Vitus vs Mortis.” “What and what now?!” “Oh this is a fascinating one! Whether or not the residents are among the living or the dead! It also relates to if the world and/or land itself has something significant to do with the dead!” The teenagers paused and looked at each other, now both of their brains were buzzing with ideas from this information.

“That leads me to this next question,” Ford said with a smile, “If you had to decide, where on the Compass would you kids place the Boiling Isles?”

“Wait, you’ve been there,” Hunter explained, “Shouldn’t you already know that?”

“I was only there for a short time, my boy,” he sighed, “And it was long before I came up with this system. As such, I can’t trust my own experience to be accurate, plus it helps to get our students’ opinions on it. They may have experienced something or seen things in a perspective we might not have considered. Let’s start with uh… King! King, what are your thoughts?”

“I ‘unno,” the young demon shrugged, “It’s all I ever knew, I never thought about this kinda stuff before. It just was what it was, ya know?”

“I see. Luz, Hunter, your thoughts?”

“Well it’s obvious isn’t it?” the young witch answered with a confident smirk, “Logic and Virtue, oh and Vitus. I mean, it might have been different during the Savage Ages, wait, could a world even change its alignment like that? If there was a significant enough change maybe? Anyway, as I was say-”

“Whoa there! Thank you Hunter, I appreciate your enthusiasm and you can go into more detail in a moment,” Ford smiled, “But I'd like to hear Luz’s opinion as well.”

He grunted but conceded as he shot a sharp look at Luz, who looked uncomfortable, almost cringing as she answered.

“I uh… kinda have to go the other way around. Nonsense, Wicked and Mortis.”

“What?! Are you crazy?!” Hunter snapped and standing up from his desk.

“Well I-“

“Now now, we can discuss this like adults,” the scientist interrupted, “Hunter, explain your reasoning please.”

“Hmph! Well for one, Logic because Belos created the Coven System and brought order to magic. Virtue because the Coven System was given to us by the Titan and made everything better! And Vitus because everyone is alive back home.”

Ford paused for a second before taking out a notepad and made a note, “Mhm… Luz, your thoughts?”

“Well… Nonsense because a lot of the stuff there is like something from a twisted kid’s book, ya know, the fairies, boiling rain, you get the idea. Wicked because the boiling sea isn’t exactly safe, there are giant monsters and people can do terrible things with their magic if they wanted to. As for the Mortis thing… well, it also ties into the Nonsense thing but uh… the entire Isle is a giant dead body that everybody lives on and demons spawned from.”

“How is that Nonsense?! It makes perfect sense!”

“Now now you two,” they were interrupted by Ford as he furiously scribbled down some more notes, “Both of you have brought up some excellent points. We undoubtedly need more data on this, but so far it seems that the Boiling Isles is a unique outlier that could be very close to the center of the Great Compass’s alignment. I’d theorized that such worlds existed but would be understandably rare. We can discuss it more later in some one-on-one sessions if you like, but for now, you should probably get going, otherwise you might be late to your next class.”

They didn’t look particularly happy but they didn’t argue either. As they left, Luz stopped and looked back.

“Hey Ford… where do you think this world is on the Compass thingy?”

“Hm? Oh, I’d have to say it has a firm foothold in both Wicked and Logic.”

“…you’re sure about that? I mean the Logic part makes sense but the Wicked thing?”

Ford just gave her a look, it wasn’t stern or angry, but more like acceptance tinged with something else. It wasn’t sadness, but it was anything good or happy.

“Luz… If our history as a species has taught me anything, it’s that good and bad can exist side by side… but if you let wolves and sheep into the same pasture, you’ll soon end up with nothing but wolves. Does that make sense?”

“…yeah, unfortunately… and I know it’s just a metaphor but I like wolves.”

“I know, they’re good creatures but it was the best example I had. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.” She just quietly nodded and the trio headed to their next class. Like she had expected, the students were broken up into two groups, split between the older and younger age groups. Strickler had barely suggested King join the younger kids before the little demon loudly protested the idea and clung to Luz like his life depended on it. The man just gave a small smile and said he could join the older students for a few days until he was comfortable enough to join his age group. Remembering what Teodora said about siblings coming to the school, she had a gut feeling that he had had this conversation many times before. Compared to a crash course on inter-world travel and categorization, a regular math class was weirdly disappointing. Well, except for the fact that Krel was the one teaching it. She noticed that Hunter’s eyes lit up as he wrote down the questions from the board, a noticeable smile on his face. Who knew he liked mathematics so much? Luz herself didn’t care about the subject either way, she had applied it to the real world a few times, both with her art and magic. What she didn’t like was the overly rigid way it was taught, with no chance to explore other ways to solve a problem, just use the one specific method the school wanted you to and hope you got it right. To her great relief, Krel didn’t seem to care about “Core Curriculum Nonsense” as he put it and allowed them to find answers on their own. He didn’t hesitate to help, and was very quick to catch errors. The only time that seemed to change was when he glanced at Jack’s paper, and they began to bicker about his process, and the rest of the class was dedicated to watching them argue. If that was what the school had in store, she began to wonder what their next class would entail. A Driver’s Ed class where the first lesson was learning how to hotwire a car was not what she had expected. Plus she was fourteen, she knew for a fact she and a good few others were way too young to be here. Most states didn’t let you start learning how to drive until you were fifteen and a half, and yet there she was. Jack Spicer and Grunkle Stan excitedly explained how to recognize the various wires under a dashboard, the best/safest way to cut them and what connecting them would do. This was followed with a short speech about escaping a car sinking in water, waiting until it was submerged when the water pressure was more equalized on the door and easier to get open. This was how they learned that while the school taught regular lessons, there was also a major focus on “what you might need on your adventures” as Stan put it. He emphasized this with a story about having to chew his way out of the trunk of a car when he was in his twenties. It was interrupted when Jack began to argue with Krel when the royal said something about adding alien technology to increase a car’s speed. The evil boy genius countered with a statement about using the bare minimum they would have on hand before it broke out into a full on fight. Nobody tried to stop them, watching two nerds roll around on the ground and mostly just yell weird expletives at each other was too much fun for the others to stop. Stan even pulled out a camera from seemingly nowhere and began recording, they only stopped when it was time for them to head to their next class. It was Social Studies with Mr Strickler and to everyone’s relief, the arguing teenagers were seated as far apart from each other as possible. He was clearly not putting up with their apparent feud. Luz was excited for this class, she liked history, finding out how the world got to where it was now, the whos, the wheres whats and whys. The man was good at it too, the way he spoke was almost like a storyteller, captivating and enwrapping. The lesson was focused on the early days of the American Revolution, particularly the Boston Massacre and how tensions between the British soldiers and the civilians had reached a boiling point. The lesson was halfway over when she stole a glance towards King and Hunter, the former slumped over in her lap as he napped, the latter looking utterly lost and confused but trying his best to follow along. It struck her that neither of them knew anything about human history, she was going to have to help tutor them and get them caught up. Strickler apparently had the same idea, because as class ended, he approached. “Hunter, may I speak with you a moment?” “Yes, what is it?” the witch asked, the tiniest twinge of frustration apparent on his features. “It occurred to me that due to you being from another world, you have little to no knowledge about our world’s history, is that correct?” “Yeah, what of it?” “Well, you are at a serious disadvantage in my class, so I would like to assign you a tutor to help you gain a more equal footing with your peers.” “And you aren’t giving this same generous offer to the rat?” he jabbed a thumb towards King, who was perched on Luz’s shoulder. “I’m not a rat!” “Young King is a child and will be joining the other elementary school aged students, the topics they cover are much more simple and don’t require the level of context or nuance you’ll be learning about. Frankly, if you don’t accept this help, you will be lost and quickly fall behind everyone else.” Hunter scrunched up his face, he probably wanted to say he didn’t need a tutor, that he could handle this on his own, but… something stopped him. There was a pause before he released a drawn out, “Fffffffffine.” “Excellent. Now then, Otto, could you come here please?” To their surprise, a small boy came out from behind a massive stack of books. He couldn’t have been more than eight and had a huge smile on his face. He was a pale child, with a small mop of red hair on his head, dressed in a dark blue t-shirt, darker shorts and red and white sneakers. He also had a huge pair of thick rimmed glass that took up half of his face and a dusting of freckles on his cheeks. “You needed me Mr Strickler?” he asked with a scratchy voice. “Otto, this is Hunter, he’s new to our world and needs to catch up on histor-” “Consider it done sir!” the little boy said excitedly before running up to Hunter, “Hi, I’m Otto Osworth, I’m gonna be your tutor!” “...you can’t be serious,” Hunter scowled at Strickler, “You want a kid to help me catch up with your class?!” “Rest assured, Otto may be young, but he is a prodigy,” Strickler said sternly and the young witch’s ears perked, “He is much more advanced than any other child his own age when it comes to history, it is why I teach him with the teenagers. He also has a true passion for the topic, to the point we had to limit how many books on the subject he can check out of the library. He’d never finish the rest of his homework otherwise.” “Hey! That was only one time!” the boy protested, “And it was the first time I got to read history books from this year!” “Wait, pause that for a second! What do you mean by that?” Luz interrupted, very confused, “Books from this year?” “Oh, that! I’m from the year 2001,” Otto smiled up at her. “Que?! You are?! But… wuh… Huh?!” “I seem to recall you were told some of our students are time travelers,” Strickler looked very amused at the simple explanation, and her eyes got huge. “I… I assumed that meant they would be from the future I-” “Well… I kinda am and kinda not,” Otto fiddled with his fingers awkwardly as he spoke, “I mean… I’m originally from 2001, but I was adopted by my dads and they’re from the year 3000.” “Wait, 3000?! That’s-“

“Yeah, I know,” the boy shrugged sheepishly.

“Wait… this kid is a time traveler?! For real?” King asked, “Now this is the kind of hot gossip we didn’t get back home!” “Oh! I’ve never seen something like you before!” the little boy squeaked as he stood on his toes to get a better look at the young demon, “What’s your name?” “I’m King Clawthorne, nice ta meet’cha Otto!”

“Back up a minute,” Luz requested, “If you’re from… uh… the future, then why are you attending school here? When… here? I… how do I even phrase this?!”

“Hehe, you got the right idea. As for why… well, this is the only school of its kind that’s even semi-close to the era I originally come from. My dads wanted me to be in a school in a time period I would be mostly familiar with, and this was the first one of its kind founded, ever!”

“...really?”

“Mhm, and honestly, I don’t have a whole lot of experience with Earth in the year 3000, we live on a satellite. I know for sure stuff like time travel is more well known by then, but I don’t know about the magic stuff or going to other worlds.”

“...they keep you on the satellite?”

“They have to, it’s for their jobs, they’re time cops. They make sure anomalies in the past don’t occur and set history off onto a different timeline, or they try to anyway, and they rarely get a day off. Usually by the time we get the mission, things have already started to change,” Otto then shuddered, “Have you ever heard Blackbeard, the pirate, make bad call whale noises because he got into that whole “save the whales” thing almost three hundred years before it was an actual movement?”

Luz placed a hand to her head, it felt like it was about to spin right off her neck!

“Okay… I… I just need a moment to… to process this.”

The boy smiled at her before turning to Hunter, “Anyway, just let me know the where and when, and I’ll be more than happy to help you with history lessons!”

The teenager just grunted and didn’t give an actual answer.

“Wait, what about magical history?” Luz piped up, “We don’t know anything about that, er, or Earth’s magical history anyway.”

“Rest assured, Blinky had prepared some reading materials for you to go over. Major historical events are less… condensed when it comes to magical creatures due to having longer lifespans. More time to plan things out, put things into motion, that sort of thing. There’s also the whole, “being sealed away for however long” thing that tends to happen a lot.”

“Really? That happens?”

“Yes, it does. Now, if I remember correctly, Blinky will be starting on a new section for today’s class. If it is about what I suspect it is, you won’t need much in the way of context to begin with.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well… it was a thousand years ago, there was a conflict between the trolls, those who wished to remain in hiding and those who wanted to take over the surface world.”

“...take over? What about the humans? And other magical creatures?”

“They planned to devour all of the humans they could find, and due to their strength and brutality, it would have been easy. I’m afraid I don’t know what the plan for the other magical creatures would have been… but whatever it was, it would have probably led to a full out war.”

The two teenagers found this deeply unsettling.

Their next class was Science, taught by Ford, who was far too happy to guide them through an experiment that had them making their own batteries. Next were Language Arts and Reading, both were taught by Maria, and Luz was stunned to learn the woman was begrudgingly teaching a play she disliked. The Tragedy of Titus Andronicus was considered the worst of Shakespeare’s plays, about a Roman general who loses everything, his few remaining children, his position, arguably his sanity, and all because he was the deciding voice in which of the emperor’s sons would take the throne. Luz counted herself lucky, for most of her classmates this was their first real introduction to the bard, she on the other hand had read the entirety of Romeo and Juliet. She had become enamored with the story when she was preparing for her audition for the school play, and could understand why it was his best work.

However she did laugh at the revelation that, of all things, his worst one had what might have been the very first Yo Mama jokes ever written.

After that was lunch, and Luz had to admit, she was relieved for the break, she was starving!

She glanced around the dining room before spotting her new friends, Titan that still got her giddy to think about, at a nearby table. She took a calming breath before walking over to join them.

“Hey guys,” she said, feeling a bit awkward as her stomach tied itself into knots.

“Hey man,” Jake smiled, looking up from a notebook he and Danny were going over.

“Uh, what’s that?” she sat down, putting hers and King’s meals on the table.

“Oh, we’re just going over some flying notes.”

“Flying?”

“Yeah, we’re both members of the Senior Flyers Club, we’re just goin’ over some ideas for the next meetin’.”

“Dang, that’s awesome! You know, I used to fly using my mentor’s magic staff.”

“Really?!”

“Uh-huh! It’s similar to what Hunter does with his.”

“Don’t lump me in with you,” the blonde groused as he stabbed at his salad.

“What do you even do in that club anyway?” King piped up, taking a big bite from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Eh, nothing major, helping each other learn to fly better, agility and basic tricks. Plus, challenging each other to improve. Some of the races can get kinda nuts, especially when we set up obstacle courses.”

Luz grinned, this sounds like it would have been a lot of fun! She wished Owlbert was here so she could join in, and Eda might have some advice on it too!

That’s when she noticed Randy, slumped over a large textbook, looking like he was asleep.

“Uh… is he…?”

She poked his head with the handle of her fork, only to yelp and jumped back when she saw his eyes were rolled back in his head, his jaw was slack and he was drooling all over the book!

“Is he dead?!” she exclaimed, now holding King and Hunter summoned his staff.

“Huh? Oh yeah, no, he’s just Shlooped,” Danny shrugged.

“...that isn’t a word!”

“It’s what he calls it when he goes into the book.”

“...wait, what?”

Jake lifted the taller boy’s head and pulled the book out from under him. He shook off some of the drool and closed it. It was twice the thickness of any textbook she had ever seen and bound in black leather. It had red rings on the cover, with dark gray symbols between, and in the center was a green gem cut into the shape of the ninja mask he had been wearing yesterday afternoon.

“It’s called the Ninja Nomicon, it’s a magic book that the line of ninjas he’s from recorded all their knowledge and techniques in. It lets him and others enter it, train in and who knows what else… but damn it gets trippy in there sometimes. Floating doodles stuff.”

“Wait… YOU CAN GO INTO THE BOOK?!” she reached across the table to try and grab it in her excitement.

“Whoa, easy there Luz-y! This thing is kinda-” the gem began to flash a hazardous green color, “Temperamental.”

“...it’s sentient?!”

Hunter had stopped eating and now had a similar expression to Luz’s, though considerably less wild. Danny was snickering as he watched this, a smile forming under his hand.

“Well… uh… kinda? Maybe? It isn’t clear? Look, all I know is this thing gets a say on things too! I joined Randy in there a few times, and the Nomicon only let me stay so long as we spar-”

“You’ve been in there?!”

“Maybe three or four times, and I had to ask the Nomicon for permission first! It wouldn’t open until I did!”

“...Nomicon, can we be friends please?” she squeaked, holding her hands together, almost like she was begging.

The gem stopped flashing, there was no clear answer there.

“I’m gonna take that as a maybe!”

Jake just winced before opening the book to a random page and slid it back under Randy’s head. As soon he made contact with the parchment, he shot back up, gasping as if he had stopped breathing while in the book.

“WHAT THE SHOOB DID YOU GUYS DO OUT HERE?! NOMICON WAS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!”

“Luz wants to try and be buddies with it,” Danny answered.

“Frie-say WHAT?!”

“Personally, I think it would be more interesting to talk to it about how its magic works,” Hunter interrupted, leaning forward, “It could be a new way to learn faster and more efficiently!”

The book’s gem began to flash again.

“Yeah uh, Nomicon kinda only wants me to Shloob in there.”

“...that isn’t a word,” the witch stated flatly, all excitement gone from his voice. Luz giggled at the fact he repeated her word for word.

Randy just groaned, rolled his eyes and tucked the book into his messenger bag.

“Actually, there was something I kinda wanted to ask you guys about,” she added gingerly, “I keep hearing about the therapist the school has but we haven’t met them yet, or even know where their office is. Do you think you could show us when you have a chance?”

“Oh yeah sure,” Danny nodded, “We’ll be heading that way for our next class anyway.”

“Great! By the way, Ford mentioned group therapy meetings, do you know when those’ll be?”

“Eh, they’re held every few days, since you’re new it’s not a big deal if you don’t join them right away. I think the next one’s tonight if you want in.”

“Oh, and they’re never held on Fridays and Saturdays,” Jake added, “The doc wants us to have those two nights guaranteed to be free. You can request a private session with her though.”

“I still don’t see why we need to attend them in the first place,” Hunter sighed, “I can’t speak for the rest of you but, no offense, I’m perfectly fine.”

The three boys just looked between themselves and then at Hunter… or rather, the large scar on his cheek and the nick in his ear.

“Huh, and here I thought denial was only a river in Egypt,” Danny was smirking, “Didn’t know we had one here too.”

“Weak!” Jake declared, “That was weak! He’s losing his touch folks! The Spider-Man banter is suffering a slow, painful death!”

Frowning, the taller boy shoved his apple into the dragon’s mouth, earning a muffled yelp.

As lunch began to wind down, the group got up and the trio of boys took the lead. Luz watched the way they pushed each other and made jokes. It made her miss Willow and Gus, they had been her first real friends, and she couldn’t help but wonder if they had looked the same way to strangers they passed on the street. Just… happy and filled with a lust for life.

She was snapped from her thoughts when Randy very loudly announced that they had arrived at the therapist’s office. The door had been left open, showing the inside of the office. It was a big room, possibly even bigger than the actual classrooms, it had two couches, a loveseat, massive pillows and bean bag chairs everywhere. It seemed a lot less formalized than what she imagined regular therapist offices to look like. To the far right was a bookcase, there seemed to be an organizational system to it. The lower shelves were full of books for little kids including coloring books, and the higher up you went, the more advanced the reading material became. The top two shelves seemed to hold reference material for mental health issues, she recognized the DSM-5 so those were probably for the therapist.

To the left of the bookshelf were plastic containers full of toys, a few of them led to a small table that looked like it had recently been used in a session. To the far left of the room was a few more bookshelves, however these ones had a massive collection of board games. Mounted on the wall was a series of computer monitors, each one had a camera perched over them, though at the moment, none of them were on. They were probably for the students who attended the therapy sessions virtually.

Near the back of the room was a large, important-looking desk, flanked on both sides by tall, thin windows. It appeared to be hand carved, with a string of roses ornamenting the ledge, as well as a few… were those frogs? Toads maybe? A desk lamp sat on top, as well as a few files…

And then she saw what was mounted on the wall behind the desk.

“ARE THOSE SWORDS?!”

Held up with careful precision was a pair of identical swords, crossed over each other in an X shape. One was a soft poppy red color while the one was a gray-silver blue, and both had the same strange hilt design, she had to squint for a moment before realizing they were birds. They almost looked like herons!

“Yup, the doc’s a bit of a badass,” Jake smirked, “Totally learned how to use those things in just two months!”

“Aw Jake, nice to hear you have such a high opinion of me.”

The voice made the dragon squeak and Luz turned around fast. Her eyes widened as she looked at what had to be the coolest-looking adult. She was in her twenties, with blonde hair cut into a bob that stopped just short of her shoulders, and a pair of stylish sunglasses rested on her head. Below her left eye was a noticeable beauty mark, and on her right cheek was a small scar. She wore small gold hoop earrings, a periwinkle blouse, a long purple skirt, black boots and a black leather biker jacket. On the left sleeve with a patch of the two crossed swords and in her hand was a steaming cup of coffee.

She let out a warm chuckle as she looked over the group of teenagers.

“So, you’re our new students huh?”

“U-Uh, y-yeah,” Luz managed to stammer out.

“Cool, I’m Dr. Waybright, I’m the school’s therapist. Now lemme guess…” she had a wry smile as she pointed at each of the newcomers, “You’re Luz, the lil’ guy is King, and he’s Hunter.”

“Yeah… guess you saw our files like Douxie did huh?”

“I did,” she nodded, “I like to be as prepared as I can when it comes to my new patients,” the girl watched as the woman walked to her desk, her boots clicking softly on the floor. As she passed, Luz saw that on the back of the doctor’s jacket as the anagram B.A.C.A. She was a legitimate biker!  “Now then, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Oh, uh, not exactly. We kinda just didn’t know where your office was, ya know, for the future and uh…”

“Hehehe, don’t worry kid, I can tell where you’re going with this.”

She physically deflated in relief.

“Gracias…”

“De nada.”

“Eh? ¿Tú hablas español?”

“Only the basics.”

She smiled a bit, she was beginning to really like this lady!

“Anyway, if you guys don’t need me for an actual session, you might wanna head to the sparring ring. Stan’s in charge of your gym class today and unless you wanna work at the Shack this sweekend, you should get going.”

“...what’s the Shack?” Hunter spoke up, his brows furrowed in suspicion.

Dr. Waybright chuckled, “Don’t worry kid, it’s nothing bad, you’ll find out soon enough. By the way, Danny, we still on for your session at 3:30 later?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be here Doc.”

“Good. Now, get going. I hear Stan has an obstacle course planned for you guys today.”

A spark came to the trio of boys' eyes, as well as excited grins.

“...why do they look like that?” King whispered to Luz.

“...I think they’re excited for this.”

Hunter stayed quiet, but he was intrigued. Perhaps this obstacle course could prove interesting.

[life-in-the-monster-haus]

Monster High the Movie Review Part 12

Spoilers ahead!

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We get to see Bloodgoods full outfit! eee! - wait a second, Objection! ... How did her and Dracula know they were in danger? Did Deuce, Heath & Abbey just bail on the dinner and leave a note in the kitchen like "BRB went to go save Frankie, Draculaura and Clawdeen from Mr. Komos who's evil BTW".... You know what? that is 100% something Heath would do. I retract my objection.

Bloodgood is surprised that Clawdeen is human. Clawdeen proudly declares she is human AND monster and they have a deep thought out conversation about it and we all learn a lesson about acceptance... Sike they just go to a commercial.

We come back from a commercial breaks and... who they fuck are they?

Clawdeen's father Apollo is summoned to come and pick up Clawdeen who is getting expelled.

Shut Up, Dracula. (He didn't say anything, but LOOK at him)

Clawdeen goes in to say Goodbye to her friends and they're all very sad UNTIL.

Bloodgood stops her and does something no teacher has ever done in the history of any high school ever. She admits that she was wrong. Clawdeen was never the cause of the school falling apart, it was Komos.

The movie has less than 5 minutes to go and everyone gets cute new outfits, I am so mad. I'm totally going to draw Abbey in that outfit. I need too.

Dracula announces that they will re-write the schools charter and they no longer fear or hate humans "at least not all of them" - I'm still not sold on his design but I like this version of Dracula, he's tough but fair and a little funny.

Bloodgood welcomes Clawdeen as the First (2nd) known Monster High student with human blood and declares that "True Monster Heart" means just that, who you are in your heart.

12/?

[maxwell-grant]

Might I please ask if you have an opinion of DRACULA? (Either the novel itself or the adaptations); having read both this novel and FRANKENSTEIN, I'm tempted to agree with the reviewer who wrote that one of these is a Classic and the other is actually Fun to read ... (-;

(Art by Cinemamind)

I completely understand the sentiment of "one's a classic and the other's fun to read" and I don't necessarily disagree with it. I don't read Frankenstein for fun, I read it because it's the book closest to me and it's heartbreaking to think about and it's got one of my favorite characters ever in it and it's got a stake in my soul I gotta renew every year. Dracula, however? Dracula is a blast and it boggles the mind as to how every adaptation can be so crushingly lesser in nearly every aspect. My hardcover edition with annotations is one of my most prized possessions.

It's interesting that people tend to talk about Frankenstein and Dracula like Frankenstein was cutting edge sci-fi while Dracula was archaic and folkloric, when it's really the other way around. Frankenstein is the story of an arrogant dipshit rejecting modern science and thinking to unearth outdated knowledge soon blossoming into a vicious cycle of savagery, where as Dracula is the story of an ancient predator adapting and trying to take over current society and fought by a ragtag team of upstanding citizens using modern tactics to stave him off and eventually fight him, desperately struggling to stay ahead of the curve as he wisens to their tactics.

This book was really ahead of it's time in so many ways. I could easily see excerpts of it, particularly the Demeter journals and Renfield's story, taking off as internet creepypastas or found footage horror films. Dracula's a story about a group of characters playing detective as they update their blog entries about the coming of an initially incomprehensible horror taking over their lives. It's a story that could work regardless of Victorian or vampire trappings, and we know this because Blair Witch Project and Marble Hornets are some of the biggest horror successes of the past decades, all of which follow the same general idea, except in Dracula, they don't just discover the true nature of the horror, they also start fighting back and ultimately destroy it.

Dracula's obviously a great villain, that goes without saying. I don't actually tend to take Dracula seriously much of the time because I'm very fond of comedy takes on Dracula and vampires, but that doesn't at all diminish his impact in the original book. He's barely in the novel for much of it which makes his every appearence Count, and the atmosphere as well as the many, many forms he can show up or be suggested at really help solidify what an incredible presence he can be.

He's the strange ruler in a foreign country, he's the kooky old man with weird customs, he's the creepy house owner tormenting a hapless guest, he's a barbarian who lives in nostalgia. He's the wind on your window, a dog on the street, a bat in your windshield, a storm on your ship. He's a predator in every way possible, he's a handsome aristocrat, he's a tragic victim of his own monstrous nature, he's a demon who threatens to consume all mankind, he's the fucker who assaulted your loved one and has to go down hard by machete right now.

Even if we just threw out the 124 years of Dracula's history out, we'd still have enough material in the book not just for a great villain, but dozens of great villains and characters who could take just about any of these traits and run with them. And still, the thing that really, really stuck out to me about Dracula wasn't him, it was the other characters

Art by Kiwi

Dracula's cast is so, so underrated, so unfortunately sidelined as a result of adaptations that only care about The Count and try to give him all the dramatic weight and characterization and sideline all the other characters as merely bit players. Stories that twist Jonathan into a useless fop or an active jerk on the idea that he's the "boring" one, that diminish Renfield's story into just being a hapless and insane goon of Dracula, that make Van Helsing the only character who's even capable of putting up a fight and make him a generic badass, that completely neglect Quincy Morris even though he's great and everyone who discovers him is aghast at discovering "holy shit there's a COWBOY in Dracula?" like yes, there is, and he's incredible and everyone should love him and everyone WOULD love him if only the adaptations remembered he exists.

Adaptations that completely sideline Mina when, and I can't stress this enough, she is the most competent character in the book, one of the greatest pop culture detectives, a wonderful and compassionate and incredibly strong and intelligent character and the main reason why they even managed to win against the Count in the first place, and arguably the closest thing the book even has to a protagonist or hero. I'm not gonna go too into it here but, even putting aside the sheer awfulness of adaptations that try and force a romance between The Count and Mina, seriously fuck off with that, why is it that pretty much every "official" adaptation has had considerably less feminist interpretations of Mina than the source material written in the 1880s? It's a complete travesty (and yes, I'm including LOEG Mina in this, anyone who likes the book and character could have done that concept better)

I enjoy aspects of Dracula adaptations, mostly regarding certain actors's takes on the characters like Bela Lugosi (the only saving grace of that movie, honestly, but rightfully considered the iconic performance), or Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. I very much enjoy the Dracula adaptation Orson Welles did because it at least tried to stay faithful to the book. But regardless of their individual quality, I don't have much to say about Dracula adaptations that try to adapt the book other than "WHY in christ aren't you just sticking to what's in the book? Do you not see how GREAT it is, all the great things about it that are just waiting to be rediscovered and loved by new audiences? STOP WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING WITH MINA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD-"

So yeah I definitely got thoughts on Dracula. Utterly adore the book but thinking about how much of it's greatness has been lost in the adaptations kinda makes me a little angry. Of course, this doesn't extend to adaptations that tell different stories or just put Dracula into existing stories or reinterpret it. I love Nosferatu and Castlevania Dracula and Hellsing Dracula and Billy & Mandy Dracula and Sesame Street Dracula. Dracula's basically become a sub-category of monster in it's own right and there's no such think as too many monsters, or too many Draculas

I'm very glad that Dracula's public domain because it means not only can he just show up anywhere, but it also means that just about anyone can pen their own Dracula stories. Still, it would be nice if the other great characters of Dracula got brought along for the ride on a couple of those.