#but you don't have time to dwell because everything is moving. so fast

[mikimeiko]

The Gentlemen | Season 1 (2024), Guy Ritchie

[sincerelybubbles]

ok shy bau reader and the team finally managed to get her to come a rossi dinner party so she can meet the rest of the team families that she hasn’t met yet, maybe after her first date with hitch and the team realized quickly she softened very fast with the kids and jack and her just seemed to click really fast and jack had her talking more than any of the team has so far… hotch is star eyes

hotch x shy!bau!reader \\ Dinner and Delights

Warnings: brief mention/allusions to Christianity. Otherwise, fluff! More insight into what Aaron is thinking :) I got very carried away, I hope you enjoy <3

"Woah hot stuff, where are you going so fast?" Morgan intercepts you with an arm around your shoulder as you attempt to slip out of the BAU unnoticed. "Hopefully to get ready for our big dinner plans?"

It's not that you don't want to go to one of Rossi's famous dinner parties, you're just afraid that your sub-par social skills would be noticeable by tenfold in a more casual environment.

At work, you can hide your quietness by talking about the psychology of the unsub, your specialty as a licensed psychologist. You can pretend you're not hiding in your shell when the team is all laughing and talking about personal lives by quietly listening while pretending to read your maps and journals. You can observe them and spend time with them, because you do truly love them all at this point, without feeling bad that you prefer to listen over talk.

And that's really it - you prefer to listen to them. You would say you've all but warmed up to all of them. You like Morgan's teasing, Emily's stories, Reid's rambling, Rossi's sarcasm, and Hotch's...

Everything, but the thought snaps you back to the present before you can dwell on memories of a sweet date in a dark restaurant.

"Of course," you succeed, nodding and sending him a tight-lipped smile.

"Hey," he slows you down and stops in the hallway, turning you to face him gently before lifting his hands in a placating gesture as if you were an animal he expects to run. "You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with but I promise none of us are trying to lead our little lamb to slaughter. We know you're quiet," the admission embarrasses you and makes you feel guilty pleasant that he sounds so gentle about it, "and nobody minds, I think it's cute and I think the rest are just happy our other genius isn't as vocal as Reid."

Your nose scrunches at the small dig and you open your mouth to protest at putting Reid down to lift you up.

"And look at that! Another thing we all love - you're quiet but won't let anyone say anything about the other behind their back. You're a good person, we all just want to spend some less-intense time with you. So, go home and doll yourself up, and get ready to see Hotch wine tipsy. We all know that's your main motivator." Morgan winks at you and moves quickly down the hall and away from you, laughing, before you can protest.

He's not wrong, though, and you shake your head as you move toward the elevator.

You end up on Rossi's doorstep, choking the neck of a bottle of expensive wine between two sweaty palms. Your heart is in your throat, nerves humming in anticipation.

Your team cares about you. Nobody expects you to be anything you're not. Gentle affirmations meant to soothe over your skin in gently lapping waves erupt into steam; like water hitting lava rock. You're too tense, too worried about not saying enough or too much; saying the wrong thing or saying the right thing only once and never living up to the expectation of repeated occurrences.

"Hey," Emily says from behind you. You turn to see her jogging up to stand beside you, brushing off her pants and adjusting her jacket. "You brought wine!" She cheers happily, reaching past you to turn the nob and open the door.

She gestures you inside, making no comment about your obvious hesitance. With her by your side, your nerves are calmed. Aside from Aaron, she's the easiest for you to be around. You don't feel any expectations with Emily. She doesn't talk too much or too little, doesn't push, doesn't ever send a pitying look when you opt out of activities outside of work.

"Château Lafite," you say to her, lifting the wine and shaking it gently in the air as you walk inside.

"Oh! Fancy wine."

"Wine?" Rossi asks, rounding a corner. He's dressed slightly more casually in a soft sweater and jeans, drying his hands off with a pristine dish towel. "The more the merrier, bring it in here."

You follow his gesture back into the kitchen, leaving Emily to go to what you presume is the living or dining area.

"Where did you find this?" Rossi asks, taking the wine from you to examine it and letting out a low whistle as he appreciates it.

"Just my local winery," you say, neglecting to admit that you go there often enough that the owner leaves the nicer stuff behind the counter for you.

Lonely nights crave wine, twisting them into lovely things you can appreciate. You enjoy your own company after years of quietly observing others. You've learned how to observe yourself, too, after all of these years.

And, even though you don't quite realize it, the self-awareness carries like confidence. That's what Aaron sees in you: observant eyes darting across a room and noticing everything, understanding flickering before anyone else catches a cue, deft movements across the paper while taking notes, and swift motions always with a purpose.

It's what he sees now, hands in the pockets of his dark jeans while he leans in the doorway of Rossi's kitchen, watching you. How could he not? You're a lovely creature, always begging for his eyes to settle on you for another second, and then another.

He knows the moment you realize he's in the room, minutes before Rossi. You stand straighter, tilt your chin lower, and are aware far before you tilt your head to the side to send him a soft smile. He returns it before Rossi can catch him. It's a warmth he wants to reserve for you.

"Dave," he interrupts the other man's monologuing about the wine he's sure you already know all about, "Jack would like to know if he and Spencer can use your chess set when he gets here?"

"Of course, I'll get it from my study." Rossi leaves, passing you the wine and gesturing to the opener.

Aaron steps in before you can start the process of opening the wine. He doesn't quite know why, but he wants to do it for you. He finds himself wanting that more and more recently: to do simple tasks for the sole purpose of you not having to do them. Opening doors and pulling out chairs are simple gestures that he did with Hayley, but he wants to do sillier, smaller, things, too. Straighten the pens on your desk back into their cup, reorganize the files on your desktop, untangle the wires of the headphones he really should reprimand you for using at your desk, open a damn bottle of wine he can't pronounce the name of but that he heard you say so gently to Emily as you walked in.

"Jack's here?" You ask, handing him the wine and crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back against the counter to watch him work.

He relishes how your eyes focus on his arms, pupils dilating, as his muscles work under his thin henley.

"Yes, I have him this weekend and he likes to spend time with Reid and Garcia."

He has to step closer to reach above you to get the wine glasses. He could ask you to step aside, tuck his hand against your waist to move you himself, or simply walk into the next room to grab the glasses sitting on the table. But, instead, he tucks one foot in between yours, puts one hand on the back of your head to guard it from the cabinet, and opens it to find the nicer crystal there.

Your breath hitches across his neck and he remembers the chaste kisses he's given you before. Nothing serious, nothing has been yet because he's waiting for you to lead him into that, but tantalizing nonetheless. He steps back to pour the wine, standing closer to you than he started.

A little for you, passed gently, and then a little for him. Dave could pour his own glass.

You take the wine and sip it slowly, tongue darting out to taste before you sip. He's reminded of communion as a child. The blood of christ, sacred, something to be tasted but not meant to satiate. Reverence in a sip, devotion in a small act.

He wants to give you the same thing. The desire hits him in the sternum, suddenly, leaving him winded as he watches you lower the glass. Your eyes are locked on his, you haven't seemed as hesitant about holding his gaze recently - something that makes him melt - and he wonders if you can feel how he wants to take care of you. How he wants to show you the same force that water uses to carve canyons. Persistence and pressure, time and care. He's willing to take his time, he's filled with the same patience as everything all together in nature. He's a rabbit perched on its hind legs, sniffing the wind for safety before darting forward; the bird hung in flight between beats of wings, the whisper of wind carrying small seeds miles away to wait and watch the growth. Wait, wait, wait, however long it takes, he's there. For you.

It's a strong feeling to fully realize in David Rossi's kitchen, but he's grateful for it, anyway.

"It's good," you comment softly, eyes smiling.

"Is it?" He asks, setting his glass down and retaking his spot nearer to you. He misses your warmth. "Can I?" He asks, brushing his fingers across your jugular before cupping your cheek.

"Taste the wine?" You tease, eyes flickering to his glass. The gentle jest pulls a chuckle from his chest. Another thing you've become more comfortable doing around him. His blood and bones sing at how familiar you can be with him.

"Yes," he says in a breath, dipping his head down to brush his lips against yours.

And you're reciprocating - you've always reciprocated, enthusiastically, just never in the pressing way you are now. You set down your own glass to hold his arms in both of your hands. Fingers dig into his arm as you sigh and open your mouth, new lands to explore, tilting your head back to grant him full access.

"Daddy?" Jack asks and Aaron pulls away, a man parched and staring at an oasis in the middle of a desert, before Jack can round the corner. He doesn't go far, though, hand traveling down to the small of your back as he turns.

"Jack?" Aaron replies, waiting for him to come around the corner.

"Hello," Jack says, stopping in the doorway and looking up at you with wide eyes.

You've met him a few times before, always in passing, but you still smile warmly and wave at him.

"Hi, Jack."

"Do you know how to play chess?" Jacks asks. Aaron smiles at the eagerness on his son's face.

"Yes, I do. Would you like to play?"

"Yes please!" Jack jumps forward to grab your hand, pulling you into the living room before you can react.

You go easily, though, following him with a gentle laugh that warms the coldest parts of him. Pieces of him he doesn't think have seen the light in years brighten at the sound. He's heard you laugh before but something about the sight of you laughing because of Jack illuminates needs that he didn't even know he had. Needs you're meeting before he can feel the yawning desire of them.

He follows, unable to resist the desire to see you two interact over and over again. You're setting up the board, listening to Jack chatter on, nodding intently.

[xclowniex]

I want to talk about this article here.

I think it has completely missed the mark.

To sum it up, it talks about Israeli government led and individual jewish/Israeli led memorial projects for Oct 7th.

It's main criticism is that everything happened to quickly for it to be a genuine thing so it must be pro Israel propaganda.

And whilst I do agree that some of what Netanyahu has done isn't really memorial, I disagree with it being pro Israel propaganda, I would say it's more so pro Netanyahu stuff, to prime him as a good candidate for next election. I also disagree with all of the things from the israeli government not being genuine memorial, as some stuff is.

I also disagree with non Israeli government aka jewish and/or israeli led memorials such as the Nova exhibit being pro Israel propaganda. It just feeds into the whole antisemitic tropes of jews doing something nefarious behind the scenes and dual loyality tropes and jews control the media tropes. Sure a few may have ulterior motives, but acting like they all or even the majority do is just gross.

I also vehemently dislike the "the memorials happened too quickly to be genuine" because the reason for the quickness is right there.

People widely believed it didn't happen

Or that it didn't happen to the extent Israel said it did. And well, we know it was as bad as Israeli media reported it to be. But people didn't believe the reports.

And we see this all the time with holocaust denial. How could a country where the majority ethnicity experienced a genocide which still gets denied by people to this day, see the biggest massacre of jews since the holocaust and see it being denied and not go "fuck we need to do something".

Is the way it was went about tasteful? In some cases yes, and some cases no. But that is not what the article is saying.

The trauma of the holocaust is still ingrained in us. Holocaust survivor's are still alive. It ended 79 years ago. How can one not get worried when the history of denial repeats itself?

Then you also have to factor in that people don't dwell as long on history as they once did. Look at how fast the Russian invasion of Ukraine left the front page of the news. Look at how many people online no longer post about it. Look at Congo, Venezuela, Bangladesh. Those countries have all recently had important historical events. Yet how many people online post about them? How much attention did the media give to them before moving on?

How much time do we have to make an Oct 7th memorial before people who aren't jewish or Israeli don't care about it anymore? And it tied back in to the Oct 7th denial. Not to mention the fact that we have not been allowed to mourn Oct 7th. We have not been allowed to grieve.

It is not weaponizing trauma.

Would you dare say the same to black people about slavery? Queer folk about the aids crisis? Because it is very obvious that in those situations and in the current, it is not okay to claim that.

Jews and Israelis are not weaponizing our trauma. We do not have some secret agenda. We are just trying to grieve, to mourn, to honor those lost, using past experiences as a guide.

[sick-and-artistic]

Weird Artifacts

This came into my head and refused to leave. I had to write it down in a drabble, so, enjoy!(?)

It all happened so quickly. Too quickly in fact.

Anakin and Obi-Wan were assigned a mission to retrieve an important artifact from some small planet on the edge of wild space, which was uninhabited and lacked any signs of civilization apart from the abandoned temple-like structure the artifact was supposed to be hidden in.

Though just because it's vacant of sentient life due to a geothermal event that turned its atmosphere unbreathable to most species, it doesn't mean the planet is dead. In fact, it's teeming with life. 

Nature is thriving on this planet. Without outside influences messing with the natural order, evolution inevitably found its way and produced species that could thrive in the new atmosphere.

When they landed close to the temple and stepped off their ship with their breath masks on, they were promptly met with a swell in the force. Curiosity, apprehension. It was clear their not so subtle landing raised the attention of everything in a ten click radius. They decided not to dwell on it for too long, and complete the mission as fast as possible, in order to not disturb the environment any more than they already did. 

“I told you we were coming in too fast,” Obi-Wan argues as they walk through the tall grass, his breath fogging up the inside of his mask. “We're lucky you didn't break anything important. We don't even have comm-reach this far out.” 

Anakin puffs petulantly as the blue-green stalks hit his face from where they reemerge from under Obi-Wan's feet.

“Well we wouldn't have gotten into that situation if you didn't insist on staying in hyperspace until the last second. I told you it was reckless even for me to navigate unmapped regions like that.”

Obi-Wan knows Anakin is right. He was being impatient. He'd much rather be back at the temple, browsing the archives. He was doing exactly that when he was interrupted by a call from the council requesting his and Anakin's presence. He got annoyed then, wondering what kind of nonsense his former Padawan had gotten up to again to warrant a lecture before the high council. Instead, he was surprised when Windu told them they were going away on a mission

Another swell in the force, this time much closer, more concentrated. But it doesn't come from the direction of the temple. It's behind them. Moving.

Once they emerge from the grass field, Obi-Wan stops in his tracks, and so does Anakin.

“I somehow cannot shake the feeling that something is…-” 

“-following us.” Anakin ends his sentence, and their suspicion is confirmed when the grass behind them rustles a bit. Anakin immediately goes to grab his lightsaber from his belt as they both turn around, but Obi-Wan stops him, his hand on Anakin's wrist.

They were being followed. But the being that carefully steps out from the grass is far from something that requires defensive measures.

A young, feline creature, small and quiet, though more elegant and timid than a tooka cat looks up at them with its big, bright eyes. Its black but shimmering purple fur looks smooth and covers the entire slender body, and its soft face is adorned with longer than average whiskers.

Anakin melts a bit when the little creature sits down and observes them curiously, its long tail curling high above it and its sharp ears following the noises of the environment. 

“Obi-Wan…look…” he says and slowly gets down to one knee before stretching out his left hand, trying to lure it closer. 

Normally, Obi-Wan would have objected, telling Anakin to get up and leave it alone. But he didn't have the heart to do so when Anakin looked so enraptured, so… calm. His usually tense expression and heavy set brows softened, soothed by the innocent presence of life in the force. He looked like a child again.

So he stays quiet. Despite his own impatience, he lets Anakin have this moment of peace. 

The cat initially ignores Anakin's attempts at contact, opting to groom its soft paws instead. But seemingly out of nowhere, it stops and gets up to actually walk over to Anakin. It carefully sniffs his hand first, before rubbing its face against his palm and letting him scratch it. 

Obi-Wan can make out Anakin's bright smile from behind him, and he has no choice but to smile in return. 

“Lovely little creature.” he admits quietly, and apparently, that jinxed the entire thing, because right afterwards Anakin yelps and pulls his hand away as the cat sprints off into the grass again.

“It bit me!” he laments, shaking his hand and regretting presenting his healthy one as he adjusts his breath mask.

Obi-Wan actually has to suppress a laugh. “It's a wild animal, Anakin. That's to be expected. I'm surprised it even let you touch it in the first place.” he says amusedly, but Anakin's crestfallen expression almost immediately wipes his smirk from his face.

“Are you hurt?” he then asks genuinely, and Anakin looks at his hand, observing the little dots of injured skin that start to leak droplets of blood. 

“I'm fine…” he says, still pouting as he wraps a piece of cloth around his palm. He's had worse injuries. Much worse. The stump of his right arm seizes uncomfortably at the thought. 

Obi-Wan apparently accepts his reply.

“Come on, let's get going then.” 

Anakin trails behind him while they walk through the abandoned temple, the only light source now the blue hue of their lightsabers.

Their mission directive had a clear description of where they are supposed to find the artifact, where it had been hidden a long time ago. And to both of their relief, it's exactly in the described spot. 

Perched on top of a column was a prism shaped…box? 

“Is this it?” Anakin asks, stepping closer as Obi-Wan checks his datapad. 

“Apparently it's supposed to be a…sphere.” Obi-Wan says, confusion clear in his voice. He looks down at his datapad again, immersing himself into the descriptive text. 

“Then it should be inside, right?” 

“Probably, yes…” Obi-Wan replies absently, trying to focus on the directive, but his datapad seems to malfunction. He taps it, frowning when it freezes up and glitches.

Anakin, being Anakin, doesn't want to wait for Obi-Wan's instructions and takes the approach he always does. The most efficient one. He grabs one edge of the prism, and pries it open, revealing a dimly glowing sphere on the inside.

“Hah, see? Easy peasy.” he says triumphantly. 

Obi-Wan didn't really notice what Anakin was doing until he heard part of the prism clatter to the ground, and now Anakin was reaching for the artifact with his bare hand. 

“Wait- Anakin don't-!” He tries to warn, but it's already too late. 

~~

When Obi-Wan wakes again, he's on the ground. On the cold, hard floor of the abandoned temple, in fact. Memories of what just happened come rushing back, and he sits up rapidly, observing his surroundings. There seems to have been some kind of…blast. The rocks that have laid strewn around the room before, were now shoved over to the edges, tracks of their movement in the dust. 

It must have been triggered by whatever it was Anakin touched. 

Anakin

He remembers then, and alerted by the utter silence in the room, turns around to where Anakin is. Or where he was. 

His blood runs cold when instead of his moody former Padawan, all he sees is a pile of clothes on the floor. Anakin's clothes. Along with his lightsaber, lying uselessly on the ornamental tile.

He can feel anger and disbelief rising up in himself, clenching his throat and threatening to make his eyes burn with tears. He desperately tries to release those feelings into the force as he gets up and calls out for his friend. His brother. His partner. 

He rubs his beard in a self-soothing manner when he gets no reply, and he really tries hard not to panic. 

What would he tell the council? That he lost the Chosen One because he randomly evaporated after stupidly touching some artifact?

He pulls at his own hair while scanning the walls, hoping the boy just wanted to play a trick on him and was hiding somewhere. Tears have just started running down his face when he hears some muffled noises coming from the pile of robes and tabards. 

He turns around again to look, and frowns when he sees the pile move. Or more like, something inside the pile is moving. He crouches down to disentangle the vast layers of cloth, and his heart threatens to jump out of his chest from how fast it's beating. 

Looking up at him now, scared and ears laid flat feebly, was one of the cat-creatures from earlier. 

His mind is going a mile a minute, and he refuses to believe the conclusion it comes to about Anakin's whereabouts. 

Unlike the one they met earlier, this one has tan colored fur, golden almost, blonde, with dark areas around its snout, ears and paws. Its eyes are a striking blue, a blue he has come to know oh so well.

Despite his mind not wanting to comprehend it, his lips speak before he can stop himself. 

“Anakin?” he asks, his voice shaky. 

The cat responds with a quiet chirp, and Obi-Wan feels like he might faint. 

“Force help me-” he whispers, willing himself to wake up and end this odd nightmare. But he doesn't wake up.  Somehow, having to explain this to the council seems worse.

[parvulous-writings]

no idea if nail polish exists in the 5e world, but it does now. how about a chill day for the companions where everyone does their nails? or is tav/durge doing the painting for everyone?

Summary: Camp has a nail day!

Warnings: Minor spoilers for Shadowheart's various arcs, same for Karlach. One swear word.

Notes:  if it doesn't exist, it sure as hell does now! Also apologies that this took so long - New year is a busy time at work, and I've got a minor injury with my hand, so I'm working as fast as I can, but it's a little slower than normal!

I've included all the recruitable companions, besides Minthara, who is not included purely because I cannot accurately write for her just yet!

My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Not my image

Time on the road where everyone is able to relax is very scarce commodity, so when it does crop up, you're always the first to suggest grabbing it by the horns and making the most out of the day - not by training, or planning your next moves, but typically with something more laid back.

You're camping close to Rivington when you get the first day-long break in weeks, so that morning you venture into town to have a quick browse of the stalls; perhaps you can find some food that will remind the various Baldurians in camp of their home? As you're starting to make your way back to camp, something catches you eye - a nail polish kit, going for quite cheap. You can hardly restrain yourself from buying it- you already know that it will bring a lot of much needed joy into camp.

Astarion is quite intrigued when you announce the spoils you've returned with. For too long he's craved petty vanity again; and even if he can only get it from painting his nails, he's willing to grasp at that chance. "What's this?" He hums, peering over your shoulder, trying to get a good look at all the colours that the kit contains, as well as the equipment. The first thing he does, given the chance, is start tending to his nails - cleaning under them, pushing back the cuticles, trimming and filing them into shape, the works. He spares no time making sure that everything is as he envisions. Sure, the colours he eventually settles on may not match the rest of his armour, but his new manicure matches his more comfortable clothes, so that's good enough for him.

Gale is... Unsure if this is the right kind of thing for your journey. "We have many more pressing matters to worry about, besides our appearances." He practically grumbles to you. "Might I suggest actually focusing on planning our next move?" It doesn't actually take a lot to convince him to sit down and let him do one hand of nails on him. You paint his nails a lovely shade of dark navy blue, which looks black in the shade, but blue when hit by light. You start speckling dots of white here and there to make them mirror the night sky, when Gale tells you he'd like to do his other hand himself. Of course, you let him, and about twenty minutes later, he's back to proudly show you his work. It's a lot shakier than the side you had done, but he looks so proud of himself for being able to emulate your skill even a little bit, you don't even nitpick in a teasing way. When it inevitably starts to chip away, he's absolutely devastated, but doesn't say anything until you all get an opportunity to rest properly again.

Justiciar!Shadowheart instantly dives for the black varnish. Nothing more, and nothing else. She doesn't dwell on it, but in some vain way, she feels like she's carrying a part of her goddess' revered darkness with her, even if it will chip away eventually. That just reminds her that everything on this plane is fleeting, and finite, always eventually consumed by loss. Selunite!Shadowheart adds a little more colour to her nails - dots of white, or purple are incorporated, intricate little designs that pay homeage to both her life as a Sharran, and her family heritage as Selunites. She takes great pride in the designs she makes, and often spends a very long time making sure that they are just like how she imagines in her head.

Lae'zel doesn't particularly like painting her nails - she feels it takes away from her aura of formidable warrior. She will, however, sharpen her nails on a regular basis - just as a back-up plan if she loses her weapon, or perhaps gets caught by surprise and needs to scratch out some eyeballs.

Karlach pre-upgrade loves to watch you do your nails. As in, she will actively sulk if you don't let her watch, or have some tiny level of input. She'll huff and pout, but eventually goes to sit elsewhere with a quiet "fine, whatever.." Post-upgrade Karlach is so eager to have her nails done, she's bouncing back and forth on her feet. She can't decide on a single colours - especially not by herself. "They all look so pretty!" She exclaims, waving her hands about in glee. So, unable to make a decision, she takes her favourite colours, and has all of them on her fingers - repeating a similar process on her toes with her second favourite colours. "This is the best thing we have ever done! ... Besides beating the shit out of Thorm... so, the second best thing!"

Wyll tidies his nails - similar to Astarion. He wants them to be a much nicer shape than they have been up to this point - makeshift files had not been too kind on his nails, and he was tired of catching them on things. He takes great care in shaping them and removing any chips or quicks - it's an activity he takes great pride in, and he'll happily do the same for you if you ask him to! As for colour, Wyll likes to go for a clear coat, purely for protecting his nails; though he has been known to paint his nails black, for dramatic effect. He loves his nails - not to the point that he preens them at any given moment, but enough to give them the time and care they need to keep healthy.

Halsin doesn't particularly like the idea of polish. Sure, it looks pretty, but he'd rather not wear it himself - there are other ways, he's found, that you can change the colour of your nails. (When you ask him what he means, or even to just elaborate a little bit more on how he knows this, he simply replies with "I once had a... Somewhat rebellious streak in my youth.") So it's likely that the only thing that he uses in this particular kit is the file and buffer - which looks absolutely tiny in his hands, it's quite funny.

Minsc doesn't do his own nails - at all. He won't even file them, he just either bites them or they snap off (usually it's the former). Instead, he takes care of Boo's claws. "Now, now, my friend. Do not call me strange - if I do not care for Boo's mighty claws, then who will? The paws of justice must be well cared for!" Insists that every few days he must re-file and re-buff Boo's nails, and will not take no for an answer. He also tries to convince you that Boo is trying to tell you the same, but by the way the little rodent's head shakes when he sits on Minsc's shoulder tells you otherwise.

Jaheira almost laughs when you suggest doing her nails. She wants to them herself, but, eventually she does ask you to help her. "It seems I'm a little out of practice.." She chuckles. "Perhaps some company wouldn't be so bad... If your offer still stands, of course." She LOVES having green nails. Sage green is her favourite, but she likes all of them really. Sometimes, if she's feeling particularly happy, she'll let you paint little golden leaves on her thumb - but that can be a rare occasion, because she doesn't want such skill to always go to waste.

[moeitsu]

Song Lyrics That Remind Me of Arthur Morgan

Nobody asked for this, but I listen to A LOT of music, and this boah is constantly on my mind 24/7. So I thought I'd share some lyrics that remind me of him and his relationships <3

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Hard Believer - First Aid Kit

"So you ask for my opinion. Well, what is there to say? To be honest and just foolish, won't make you wanna stay. You've got to go on and get moving. And I can't do that for you. Got so many plans and so much you wanna do. Love is tough, time is rough on me."

To a Poet - First Aid Kit (Mary & Arthur)

"You said, 'Don't give me nothing you don't wanna lose.' I said, 'Darlin' I'll give you everything I got, if you want them to choose.' Though unwillingly I left and it was so, so hard to do. Now I miss you more than I can take and I will surely break. And every morning that I wake, God, it is the same."

Afraid of Heights - Boygenius (Dutch & Arthur)

"I know I fucked up when I told you I'm afraid of heights. It made you wanna test my courage. You made me climb a cliff at night. You wanted me to jump and I declined. You called me a coward, I replied, I don't wanna live forever, but I don't wanna die tonight."

My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit

"I don't know if I'm scared of dyin', but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow. Regret, remorse, hold on. Oh no I've gotta go. There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on. You've just gotta keep on keeping on."

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

"If they strike once, then you hit 'em twice as hard. But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, Then this heart would break and fall twice as far. We all know how it goes, the more it hurts, the less it shows. But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I could never go back home."

Saviour - George Ezra (Mary & Arthur)

"Time was young and you were mine. Take me back to that midnight moon. Cradle me, at that midnight moon. All of me is all for you, and what I got to give is not enough. It's a dark night. Being your own savior, is it saving you?"

Cowboy, Gangster, Politician - Goldie Boutilier (Mary & Arthur)

"We said goodbye, but it never ends. 'Cause you can't get away from a woman who loves you. 'Cause you can't run away from feelings that haunt you. No, you can't separate a fire from a flame that already burns. Every saints a sinner, we all have our past. Forever is a fiction, nothing lasts."

Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin (Mary Gillis-Linton)

"Ain't no talking to this man, ain't no pretty other side. Ain't no way to understand, the stupid words of pride. It would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that so, I'm gonna let him fly. You know the light has left his face, but you can't recall just where or why. So there was really nothing to it, I said I'm gonna let him fly."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac (Dutch & Arthur)

"And if you don't love me now, You will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we would never break the chain. Run in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."

Devil's Resting Place - Laura Marling

"I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place. Water won't clean you, you only hold yourself to the things you do. Come up here to speak to me and hold your face to mine. Any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine. You sold your life away to be with me tonight. Hold your head against my chest, I think you'll be just fine."

Through the Valley - Shawn James

"I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all, and my mind and my gun they comfort me. Because I know I'll kill my enemies when they come. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell on this earth forevermore. Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill. Called himself the savior of the human race. Said he'd come to save the world from destruction and pain, but I said, how can you save the world from itself?"

Youngest Daughter - Superheaven

"It's useless, I tried, but to no avail. To tell you how much I know, how much I care. Breathe until your lungs fail, you can sing 'til you go deaf. I am sick, I am horrified at everything I hear. Everyday repeats itself again, the cycle of our misery, It drives us all insane."

The Fall - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"You heard blood was thick, brothers and sisters. But ya don't know where anybody's at. Time was a bust, you thought you'd better be tough. Nobody gets past the trembling wire. All eyes on you now, on you. We're all holding our breath."

Second Chances - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind. Oh my heart was all black but I saw something shine. Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine. I could share it with you, if you gave me the time. I'm all bloody knuckles, longing for home. If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone."

My Mind - Paris Paloma (Dutch & Arthur)

"What did I do wrong? Will you tell me what I did wrong, what did I? Was it a first offense? How long had you been harboring that vemon? You could have used your words then, you wanted them to hurt and so I let them. Never would I beseech you, to endure what you put me through."

[aeroburning]

Hi there! :)

Is there any theme song or piece of music that you like in particular from the X Series?

I was waiting for someone to ask something music related. I have a list.

But let's pick a few of my favorites. Keep in mind, I don't know anything about music theory, so this is all vibes and presentation based. There's also no real order that I'm going with on this, so bear with it. Opening Stage (X) - Mega Man X4

We're starting off strong here. One of the definitive X themes in the series. It does such a great job of framing X's character and the humble determination that he always expresses. The song is hopeful but grounded-- with high synth tones and a banging bassline. I think it does an excellent job of showing the vulnerability of X but also a rising confidence that assures the player that this is the guy who has saved the world-- he just has to always prove it himself each time he does it. It's so X, and I love it. Morph Moth - Mega Man X2

Underrated Mega Man X theme in my opinion, Morph Moth's stage hits you hard with a crash, alongside a grungy synth with an industrial vibe. It's a perfect mix that sets the tone of the stage super well. The low bass line alongside the drums almost kinda syncs with the scrapped Reploids that kinda sputter along towards you. Everything here moves slow and with a tick, and the song feels like a metronome for the whole stage. Super cool song that does an excellent job of selling the fact you're walking through the equivalent of a body pit for Reploids, but the tempo keeps you moving so you don't dwell on it. Armored Armadillo - Mega Man X

This is one of the most fun tracks in the entire series. It's so good. The drums are literally pushing you forward, everything about this stage is going fast. The tones and melody keep you having a blast even though you're running for your life from a death machine or barreling through the mines on a runaway cart. There's no point in this stage that the action stops, with the breaks between the mine cart only acting as briges for even more chaos. The music encourages you to run fast and use your reflexes, allowing it to be one of the best gimmick stages in the entire series. So good. Crash Site Ruins (International) - Mega Man X6

Now for something a little slower. Crash Site Ruins is BLEAK, and it should be. Such a great way to sell the fact that the world has literally come to an end. The horns in between the chorus does a great job of selling the scope of the damage, it feels like a widespread tragedy-- and that's because it is. The International version in particular does a great job adding a little flavor between segments from the guitar riffs. To me, it adds a little bit of action to the vibe of the song because at the end of the day, it is an action game. However, the riff doesn't overstay its welcome or overpower, it's just there to remind you. X is alone at the start of X6, and this theme reflects that. However, the synth, while bleak, also sounds a little bit hopeful? Like even though things have gotten this bad, because you have X here-- maybe things will be okay. It's one of my favorites. Gravity Beetle (PS1 - Arranged) - Mega Man X3

I'm a little surprised myself, here. I normally DO NOT vibe with the PS1 OST of Mega Man X3, but this one snuck up on me. I don't really know what it is, but the SNES version of this song feels like its missing something. I found myself always listening to remixes of this song because it's got a the fixings of a great Mega Man X song, but the original just falls flat for me. The PS1 version, while sounding a little more upbeat, fixes it for me. The song feels more complete, and it's a song that doesn't really overstay its welcome on repeat listens. It's rising action is so fun, everything is building up to the climax that we all know. And the slight deviations this version adds to the mix just feel so fun and inspired compared to a song that felt half finished for the SNES version. That's it for now though! Sorry if I can't get into the nitty gritty, but I did my best with what my heart told me. I'd love to do this again and delve outside of the SNES and PS1 era of songs.

[magnuficentwo]

Certified Magnus Recommendations for Videogames that you Should play. Or don't idk, I'm a guy on the internet not your dad

Darkest Dungeon (Turn based strategy game with some horror sprinkled in for character designs and story, hard as balls, but the risk and reward are balanced out in such a way that you're always compelled to keep sending out your guys to face the horrors. You always have to be ready and prepared for everything because you never know how the mission may end up / which enemies you'll fight in which order. It's a lot of fun to play around with the party building and see which combination of heroes is the most effective for everything, how the move sets click with each other, etc. Just don't get top attached to a character if you don't know how they'll fare in combat. For your own sake 💔)

Alder's Blood (Another strategy game with some kind of eldritch horror creeping in, this is a theme throughout this list. It's a western style horror with cowboys going places and having to manage resources inbetween combat / investigation stages, with the story naturally progressing as you get to new town locations. The main characters Duke and Chief are the main vessels for how the story progresses, and their banter and interaction with other characters is everything to me. Like a lot of strategy games it Can get a little repetitive at first, especially if you're grinding out levels for your party, plus I don't think the random encounters are quite as well executed as scripted out events, but it's still a fun little game. Really recommend for story especially + I love everything about the art style.)

Look Outside (I've already begged you to play this game on a previous post and that's what inspired me to make this list in the first place, but MAN this game FUCKS. It's an RPG maker horror game with turn based combat, and the eldritch is on FULL display. It is the very first thing the game introduces you to: You're prompted to look outside, and the second you do you get spaghettified into a horrid flesh mass by perceiving things you don't comprehend. It's so fucking perfect man. From the sound design to story to character design to the combat itself (and how you learn different abilities) to the dialogue that feels so unbelievably natural coming from everyone's mouthes. It's peak. The way it's structured incentivises you to keep exploring and looking around new areas you're most likely to have encounters in, and you gain significantly more XP than if you were to play it safe for the entire 15 days you're meant to stay inside your apartment building. Sam is also the funniest mf alive play it for his ugly lil ass, he's so charming)

Darkwood (Survival horror game. Gameplay is very simple, you click stuff to discover what it means and what it does, manage resources and try to ignore the ever growing horrors of the world around you. I really adore the visual identity this game has for its narrative. Genuinely scared the shit out of me several times as I was playing it because things happened really slowly at first and then jumped out at you insanely fast. It IS permadeath, so the replayability of it gets increased even more when you die at points and already know how to get back there after, but it also puts a huge hindrance in your progress if you're playing it blind. Gist of the story is that it's the 1980s and there's a mysterious plague causing havoc in the darkwood (title drop) forest, causing its citizens and the animals that dwell within it to go insane, and you were Supposed to investigate but given it's a horror survival game, shit goes wrong really fast. It is a Visceral experience. I adore it thoroughly and you should put yourself through it <333)

Diablo ii (Yeah yeah Diablo isn't A GREAT series by any means, it's got it's flaws, especially the third installment, but mannnn I just adore Diablo ii. I won't even pretend like it's here for any reason other than I just like it a lot, but I also just find it so charming with how clunky and weird it is. It's a top view rpg game where you kill low polygon demons with big blasts of power and equip cool looking items to look cool first and to help you second, everything in its influence is either religious or rule of cool, and you know what ? it IS cool. The difficulty is a little more unforgiving than any of its companion games, so you end up dying a Lot despite how much you prepare, and that's normal. I don't know, I just love my emotional support 2000s videogame)

Hollow Knight ("But Magnus you plug Hollow knight everywher-" PLAY HOLLOW KNIGHT BOY. What is there to even be said about this game man. It's a metroidvania platformer about bugs going through an apocalypse caused by the hubris of a king. It's like the Dark Souls (narrative-wise) of Bugs. There's so much to love all around, but I feel like by singing the praises of what it does really well would diminish the effect it has on the average player, so instead I'll just give you a non-spoilery version of everything. The gameplay consists of descending into the gut of this once very alive world and taking it apart to discover what it is that's making it rot. The deceiving vibrancy of each background and area, combined with the different enemies and other such things patrolling everything, comes together to form one of the most visually stunning things I've ever gotten to experience in a videogame. All this paired with Christopher Larkin's talented ass making all the music, and you have something genuinely breathtaking in your hands. It's such a story of tragedy, where your arrival in these lands doesn't mean you'll save them at all, just that the end of them has come and gone, and it needs to be finalized so everything in it can finally rest. You are no hero. You are just the end. anyway you should play funny bug game)

Celeste (Not as narratively good as I wish it was honestly, especially when you sit with the story for as long as I have, but that doesn't even matter because THE GAMEPLAY IS BEYOND EXCELLENT AND IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. This is one of the greatest platformers you'll play and that's a promise. Celeste has like, 3 movement options (walk, dash, jump) and it manages to elevate it to such an unbelievable level, it's genuinely insane how far it takes its dash mechanics. Each area you explore has a unique theme going on throughout it, with a different gimmick to keep everything feeling fresh, and Man it works like a fucking charm. I love every hazard and every movement booster in this game. It beats your ass HARD, but deaths don't feel like it's just the game bullshitting you so much as it is Truly a skill issue. Everything is presented clearly in charming pixel graphics and I love it. Madeline my beloved. I wish her story got to involve more of her flaws so that Badeline could feel more like a tangible parallel, but I feel like this is made up for with how it handles depression and ideation tbh. Fuck the core though that chapter sucked shit)

Some other recommendations I have but that I don't rlly have a whole rant prepared for that you could also play possibly

Goodnight Knight (Slightly clunky combat and learning curve for each ability, made up for in charm and humour. I love the unserious way this game presents itself)

Stardew Valley (Has somehow consumed my every waking thought to a point where I have sdv aus for all my ocs. It's a good little game)

Beyond Galaxyland (Puzzle solving + Turn based combat + Exploration + Really cool story, I appreciate what it does. Also I like it's graphics a lot it's so sick)

Spirit farer (I just wish it wasnt so wholesome constantly, because I do adore the concept, but it feels like it's dragged down by its need to be defanged. It's good though)

Wayfinder (One of The most exciting turn based combat systems I've ever seen <3)

Child of the Light (Changed my brain chemistry since I was 13)

Borderlands 1 + 2 + The Pre-Sequel + 3 (AUFGFHGHSGAFHGAFADGDHAFSGSFDHAAG !!!!!! AHGGHHHGGGHG!!!!!!!!!! AHAHHAHDGHGGGH !!!!!!! play it)

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I pretty much had two obligatory choices for this title for reasons that will become obvious later. For best effect, you can go ahead and pop open this link in a new tab. Wow is this a cool chapter. So let's start where it starts and that's this little giant boy Collon. Who we've seen before. It's cute and he's scooting off to the banquet after checking in with Giant Makino. In spirit. Giant Makino for real would be too much to handle.

What I find most interesting though is how this little segment frames the rest of the chapter. Particularly with Shanks here. It's not just the first of three times we have a character giving a reminder like this. It's how it builds off of the rest of the scene too. Time matters, and we'll get to the really big way it does. But it starts with the barmaid mentioning Dorry & Broggy would stay here drinking for days if they stopped by. That's an interesting concept and one that makes sense based on what we know of the giants. Their lifespan is so much longer it makes everything they do take longer. That's our introduction to them; a century-long duel after all. I want you to think about that with the much more grave warning we'll leave off on. How it builds off of a previous arc where we were in a rush to leave events that didn't have much to do with our main crew and the one before it we spent a rare prolonged stay on. The world is moving fast and we really don't have any point for the Straw Hats to stay on Elbaf. That matters.

But forget all that nerd shit and look at the fun whimsical pirate adventure moment! Instant favorite panel, immediately on par with the other cool ones like the Knock-Up Stream and climbing Wano's waterfall. This is a part of Norse mythology by the way...though probably not the type your cosplay tough guy Viking enthusiasts obsess over. Called Bifrost, the rainbow road from our world to the realm of the gods. For what it's worth, as much as I dig Miss Goldenweek and her Rainbow of Dreams...another interesting parallel since we meet her around the giants too.

I just love it. It's wonderful and fun and cool and makes me so happy to finally see Elbaf. Same with the village. Nothing much to analyze, just want to note that this is something so long awaited as much for me as it is the crew. I've mentioned it before, but reaching Elbaf holds special significance for me given I originally caught up to the manga on Oimo & Kashi. Just a cool, iconic moment that I know is gonna stick with me forever. I even got a little misty eyed. I fuckin' love One Piece y'all.

Okay, so back to the plot. Who's next? Goldberg, Gerd, and Luffy meet up! We also saw Hajrudin on the rainbow and everyone comes together pretty quickly tbh. I thought the stuff with Gerd cooing over Luffy was adorable. Gerd is adorable. Sanji simping over such a sizeable woman was neat too. Also liked them beating up creepy Road.

But this bit with Loki? That's intriguing. Especially when it's framed the same way as Collon's little flashback to Shanks. Though not the same concept as that and what we'll get to...the point is not dwelling too long here right? Well Loki is probably what the threat of doing that hinges on. And this is a potentially bad outcome for Luffy here. Quite dangerous he's keeping the secret and there's apparently some kind of promise. Sure it'll be interesting to see what comes of it.

But this is what we're all really here for. I mean, the rainbow road is great and all but it's just a pretty scene using Norse mythos for inspiration. This though? Ohhh mama is it right up my alley. Do you remember the last time we saw Louis Arnot? He's the author of Brag Men, the book Nami read from to recognize Little Garden. Cool callback. But the content is what matters here. First of all because he's taking the place of our usual narrator. Which is a concept I've been high on since Wano. Because this narration is an in-universe character it opens up questions of reliability. Arnot hasn't steered us wrong before, but it's there.

"Do not linger in this land for long." Why!? That's gotta mean something. It makes me wonder about Shanks taking off as quickly as he did. It makes me think about getting sucked into some Loki plot a lot more. But simply...why? Could it be some time screw thing? That could be bad if you have some kind of Narnia Time aspect when the world's on fire. Or maybe there's some aspect of the geography that's hazardous. Or it's just really easy to run afoul of giant politics.

We'll have to see. But hidden here is something else intriguing. The silhouette. Is that the guy saying "come" a few chapters ago? He's normal sized. I definitely agree with the common theory that he looks oddly reminiscent of the figure we saw drinking with Crocus long ago in a cover page. I also like the idea of Scopper Gaban for who that could be. A former Roger Pirate could be interesting. With Elbaf being the last real foreshadowed island and Luffy being about as high as he can climb before reaching the Pirate King level...probably gonna end up with at least a lead on the final road poneglyph. Or at least finding a poneglyph. They tend to show up with nonhuman races. We'll have to see there too but it all makes sense for a purpose of being here.

[chesters-ocs]

ARGUMENTS & ESCALATIONS

i love it when mārīte is angry <3 its my favorite mood of hers :) yeah. and a formal apology to stone because it seems hes once again the punching bag </3

wc: 600

Mary had gotten home late from Katherine's, only to find her room a mess, with only her so-called contraband taken.

Unfortunately, the dots connected rather quickly and she found herself hissing at Vikram, who looked utterly uncaring of her annoyance. Typical.

"Like, who the fuck do you think you are?!" she hissed at her step-father, though that title had long since been dropped, since her favor of the man was clear.

"Your father, that's who," he stated simply, steeling himself from any potential grief he's feeling. It was rare that his daughter got angry, and when she did, it was never pretty.

"Well you're acting like mom instead!"

"... I'm sorry?" the surprise was clear, with how his eyes ever-so briefly widened. Like her mother? He's reminding her of that woman who did naught but take and take and take from her?

"Mary-"

"Shut up! Just... What the fuck!? Did you have to dig trough my shit?! Do you trust me so little?!"

"Mary, listen, I-"

"No! I'm done listening to your bullshit reasoning! What, it's 'for my own good'?!" she mocked, doing a poor imitation of his voice, "Or have you just convinced yourself I'm a damn idiot who needs her daddy to hold her hand trough everything?!"

Her voice had raised noticeably. The young adult was visibly angry at that, her teeth bared, tail bristled and thumping against the hardwood.

The older man stayed quiet. Finally, she can say her piece.

"Let me make my own damn choices, why don't you! Dad did dumb shit, pops did even dumber shit, so why are you suddenly getting your stupid feathers ruffled over what, a wine bottle and my vapes? They were all empty, by the fucking way!"

Words kept spilling from her. Her father could already see the angry, hot tears clouding her vision.

"I'm an adult! Stop treating me like I'm five and will keel over dead over what, some nicotine?"

"Then stop acting like a five year old," the words escaped Vikram before he could stop them.

Fuel for the fire.

"Why you- I fucking knew I should've taken the chance to move out! Away from you," The words hit him like a truck, and before Mary could stomp off in a continued fit of rage, she was roughly grabbed and turned to face him.

"You... What? Moving? Where the hell do you think you're going, young lady? Alone? Or with-"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! You're so... So... Ugh, nosy! What's it matter to you? So you can keep stalking me?" the tears finally fell, hard and fast.

The hold on her lessened, and she was able to get out of her father's grasp. Firstly, she furiously wiped at her eyes, smudging the eyeliner she spent ages applying earlier that morning. Though it was low on her list of priorities.

Then she stormed off. They're lucky the home was empty for the most part. Only the basement dwelling teens were home, but it was atypical of them to spend much time out of their rooms.

He just stared after her with a disapproving look.

Vikram jumped at the quiet, emotionless voice behind him, whipping around to see eyes with bags under them.

"Huh... So that's what happened to my cigs."

"Charles. We both know you took them from Adam first."

"Finders keepers," he shrugged, not even hiding the pack he had in his pants pocket. Looks like he didn't even do a thorough search in the first place.

"Just... Don't give them to Samuel," he grunted, "Or any of the children, for that matter!"

"Whatever."

"Charles!"

[xerxeswitch]

Hi! Hope you're doing well.

This is regarding ur recent reply to someone. I live in a heavily religious family and my views are different from them, I'm more interested in witchcraft and spirit work even demonology and everything occult. Witchcraft is the greatest sin in my religion and tbh it scares me to take this step.

Idk why I'm telling you this but I really need some sort of confirmation lol, would it be okay if I go ahead and leave my old beliefs behind?

And if it's okay, mind sharing ur experience if any?:)

Hello hello anon! I am doing pretty well thank you, and I hope you are too! -- Hey look, sometimes people are going to diverge into a different direction to find themselves which is what some of the occult and witchcraft are there for. There's a lot of self discovery dwelling in these practices. Of course...exercise caution and don't go summoning stuff left and right if you don't know what you're doing. (At least not without research obviously) If you aren't ready to embark and separate from your heavy religious upbringing yet, you don't have to do it so fast. It's not easy. You can gradually do it, or you can interpret it in your own way and still hold some values that helped you. Don't subject yourself to anything you're not comfortable with just because you want to quickly rush to get out of something. BUT, that's just me -- I'm slow-moving and thorough in my stances at times personally. -- My family are heavy Catholics but they are thankfully not the hardcore "You go to hell" people ironically. They just tell me, "As long as you don't do anything stupid, you're good." -- which I can acknowledge my case is pretty rare. If you want, you can look into Padre Pio -- he's a Catholic saint but he's been known to be a mystic and did some forms of magic despite that it's seen as "sin" -- yet he was accepted as an official saint. ... Take this as you will, but I am an omnist. That means the belief in truths found in all religion or most religion. I still uphold values I learned from Catholicism, but I don't take it all in absolutes. No matter what, my base religion will always be Catholicism but I don't have to abide by everything I'm told -- but the lessons it teaches primarily involving to "love thy neighbors" and the teachings of Jesus. I'm on the same boat as you as not wanting to embark too far away from my religious upbringing and there are many who are also trying to find or create their own pillar. You'll be okay. I think the only requirement is just to be respectful. I would just remember to tell myself that there's no such thing as a perfect religion. If anything, if you want, research other religions/practices when it comes to beliefs such as Shintoism, Buddha, etc. A lot of these helped me in my discovery in what I feel pulled to. Research what you naturally are pulled into! I'm no expert but this is what I got but I hope it helps bring some help.

[humaforever]

Not anything Decendants related, but do you honestly think that the years felt very short? Meaning time flies way too fast for anyone’s liking? Scary isn’t it?

Gonna be honest, and I might be the only person that feels this way, but no I don't feel like time is flying too fast.

Well it is, but that's just a fact. A year is short, it truly isn't that much time. Days are short, and they are way shorter when they become just a memory. A person doesn't have the capacity to remember every second so when you look back on time it seems short. I know this, so I'm not frightened by it. When I think about the past year I have a lot of good and even bad memories, I can go thru it month by month and do a good recap on my mind. Yes in a sense it seems so short and like time flew, but only because I can't remember every moment, if I could recall everything I did every day then I don't think it would seem like the year flew by.

Time isn't short, it's just always moving. Memories are just glimpses of entire moments, if I dwelled on the past and thought about how the years are flying by, then I wouldn't be able to keep pace with the seconds that aren't stopping for me to catch up to them.

[sleepingchurch]

I got broken up with. I have done this before. This is literally the exact same as last time, except I am different.

I have made great strides in my emotional processing and regulation. They may not have been able to recognize it, but I have literally handled things better. Like I am controlling my language and my physical behavior. I know that is growth because it's different than what I used to do.

I have seen this beautiful person in front of me for 4+ years now in so many lights. For 3 of those years they were mine. And for a total of a year and a half of it, we were happy. But they're right. We continue to bring out the worst in one another. And we try to be different, but that isn't the nature of the beast.

We both hadn't made the changes needed to support this. And trying to move so quickly put too much pressure too fast. Anything offered was then taken back out of fear from realization that we had moved too quickly. And every take back felt like rejection. Then we would have to try and fix not only the issue at hand of why whatever it was was taken back, but also the issue of feeling rejected and breaking that trust.

At the end of the day, we are so different. But I refuse to believe it was where we wanted to live, where they wanted to die and how they wanted to be honored, the sex life. I believe it was the tiny things. How I needed my bedtime process and you hated having to get up and do that. How I wanted you to stay clean and keep your house clean, and you didn't want to do that. I wanted more time, and you wanted less. That's a type A dating a type B for you.

I think you were done with us long ago. And I actually believe that you do love me and this is why you're doing this, like you said yesterday. It's one of those things that I think I knew too. The third month of really feeling disconnected from you was when it set in that this was going to mimic our first relationship to a T. I love being around you, I love listening to you and spending time with you, I loved spoiling you when I was able to, and still, it was the small things.

We tried to restart so many times. We tried to enforce expectations and boundaries. We tried to be what the other needed and wanted. I mean I did. And I want to have positive intent for them, so I'm choosing to believe they did too. Maybe it's those small things, the intricacies that we could never quite agree on or grasp that make the relationship stable enough for love to bloom. And ours wasn't. And that didn't mean we didn't love one another, it meant we weren't ready for one another.

I'm not going to live my life expecting to ever be with them romantically again, because that would be setting myself up for failure. But I want them in my life. We are good friends. And that's why our room mate phases would keep us cyclically stuck in trying over and over again. Because I do love them. I do love who they are and I'm interested in what they're interested in.

I appreciate them cutting us off before we got too bad. Last time was just rubble. And right now we have a house that needs a lot of renovation, but with care and time, it'll be built back up good as new. Different, but still good.

I don't want to hurt them anymore. And I don't want to hurt anymore. And I believe that that is something that comes from love. I will always love them. And they might never be mine to hold or kiss and snuggle or dream with again, but that won't stop me from loving them.

I really hope they don't start dating too soon. I know it sounds selfish, but I want to be in their life, and I want to make sure that we're in a place where that won't be something that hurts too much to stay around for.

And of course, my brain is making up scenarios and stories and what ifs, but I'm not allowing myself to dwell there. This hurts, yes. But living in my head for comfort isn't going to help me. I need to genuinely learn to appreciate what I have in front of me now. To love everything for exactly what it is. To be able to communicate and respond to people with care and kindness. And to do any of that, and not break down in private essentially taking more from my life than just being just healing would, I need to try to actually heal.

I know my vices will be something I'll shed last. Smoking, starving. But maybe I can do it for real if I learn to love who I am. Will my body matter so much if I do things that fill my life with passion and purpose? Will I feel the need to smoke when my life is all happening so presently and beautifully?

There's so much I hid away to try and keep people around. All it did was push them away. And maybe this was the lesson of it all. I needed to be able to give, and so did they, and we weren't ready to do that even with ourselves yet.

I'm proud they're trying to figure themselves out and find joy and purpose. I'm sad it couldn't have been with me. But I want to be there to see it happen. And I want them to see my life happen too. I want to grow alongside them. And maybe this is what we needed to be able to do that.

A fear of mine is that the friendship extension was a soft let down tactic. Maybe they don't want to have me in their life at all and don't know how to say that yet. That would change the entire premise that I've built my acceptance of this break up around. And I'd honestly want to just know so that I can go about healing the way I truly need to.

I'm going to make sure to grow and change and live how I want and when I want and where. And I'm going to hope that somehow it helps me gain what I need in my life. And I want the same for them. These are big, scary, and difficult changes to go through, and I can understand needing to be singular in that, especially considering their personal traumas.

But I do love them. So I'm not going to fight them on this again. If this is what they need, I will listen. I think I had a lot of lessons to learn here and I know more will come to me. So I hope whatever path this takes, I'm hoping friendship for a long time at least, I think it'll be the best for us both.

I'm still sad. And this is still going to hurt for a long long long time. And I'll make it. And I hope they're there for it.

I can't stay like this for my entire life. I need to change. I need to be the type of person who can open up enough to genuinely solve the root of issues and feel secure enough to trust people without anxiety or self depreciation eating up the whole situation. So I will.

I will always love them. I hope they always love me back.

[lonestardust]

insane how the world moves so fast everyday when everything is demonically horrifying and wrong. massacres intensifying during our eid and holidays just makes me hate this world and hate celebrating altogether... i don't even bring this baggage here because here i genuinely try to recuperate and disconnect more than anything (plus tumblr is just as shitty as any other english speaking online space when it comes to political education) especially on a daily basis. updating about the war for almost 600 days. putting so much labor in doing so. seeing a radicalising amount of footage and getting bad news on personal levels from friends every now and then just makes you lose your sanity if you don't have a hobby on the side to help your heart and your head just a little bit... i don't even know what i'm trying to say here but today was the first day of eid and i managed to get up and get dressed and spend time with my family. i even took a selfie with my eid hijab because I'm not a hijabi but i thought i looked good in it but it's all just going through the motions... there are 16 palestinian red crescent paramedics that got executed in cold blood by the cursed enemy and the world just lets them get away with murder like any other day.. holidays are just as heavy as any other day.. and everyone should be ashamed and accountable for not questioning what they do beyond survival. where and what is your labour for the cause? your political education, you materialistic actions, what did you sacrifice??? Are you true to your principles or are you dwelling in defeatism, the thing we especially warn against very strictly? How intact is your moral compass in this evil world? or you just want to pity people with cheap condolences

[mistressofthemanor]

masterofthemanor

Simply getting reassurance from her that she'd be fine with them waiting for a bit with the whole renovation process was enough to put his mind at ease and make the promise that if everything will go well between them, they'd look for some professionals and she could re-decorate the whole manor to her liking - just as she'd done several times in their past. Despite his efforts to remain cool, calm and collected, he'd found himself rambling again out of nervousness, which bothered him, mainly because he wasn't used to the feeling anymore as he rarely saw other people, least went on dates to have such interactions with beautiful women who'd make his heart flutter with a simple look towards him, have his stomach do somersaults and his palm sweat simply because he was so attracted to them and wanted to impress them so much that it actually made stressed he'd make a mistake and ruin his chances; and in his mind, he'd been doing nothing, but making mistakes by talking too much, too fast and saying unnecessary and silly things just because he couldn't take control over his emotions. There was no way in hell that any woman would find a rambling, awkward man with an odd type of humour to be appealing and the longer he dwelled on it, the more anxious he became - and surprisingly, the fact that he'd impressed Narcissa once didn't help or put his mind at ease, in fact, if anything, it worsened his situation, because it only meant that she'd already seen him at his best and since was older now and not in the best shape physically, he felt he had slimmer chances and he feared that he'd have to bet everything on his only ability that remained; his silver tongue that was clearly abandoning him. Nevertheless, for some reason - that could have easily been gratefulness she'd felt towards him for letting her stay in the manor - she wasn't repelled by his demeanour and to his great surprisement, she brought his head towards her and pressed an innocent kiss on his cheek before responding to his awkward joke he'd have rather just forgotten about. "Yeah... They like you, you know *shrugs then immediately starts regretting his words, so he quickly moves on to patting her knee changing the topic before he pushes himself up from the stairs* Why don't we go inside and start preparing dinner- or maybe we could look for something to have first... You've said you haven't eaten yet"

She smiled down at the kittens and then shook her head, unable to keep herself from laughing. “I don’t how much they like me when they barely know me but…I guess the same could be said for my feelings for them. I think they’re cute and cuddly but they could be covered in fleas for all I know.” Narcissa shrugged and then gave one of the kittens a final gentle pat as Lucius stood. “Preparing dinner? You said you already ate. We don’t need to prepare anything just for me. I know I’m hungry but I’ll survive until dinner time. I’m not planning on going around fainting that’s for sure.” Revealing a smirk as she stood herself and followed after him, she found herself standing in the door frame and watching him. Narcissa crossed her arms as her eyes followed down his form while he wasn’t looking. This was the first time she was freely able to look at him and get an idea of his body without judgmental eyes on her. She didn’t want to allow her mind to wander too much but she did think about what he looked like under all those clothes, recalling his naked body from years ago and wanting to see it again. Doing her best to stay calm in her tone and upon her face, she cleared her throat to get him to turn back around, “I think you’re just wondering what I brought and you’re hoping I’ve returned with something that you like. I think you’re too curious for your own good. I see you already eyeing my bag, Lucius Malfoy.”

Skeletons

[shimmerbeasts]

@gauntlets-shot cont. from here. Vi had been given many odd duties as an enforcer and for today, she had been stationed at the zoo, specifically the indoor area. It was her and another enforcer on duty, but Vi's job was to guard the front. Well, a certain someone must have slipped through the back because Vi was sure she would've ran into them if they had come in through the front. Of course the guard stationed at the back had been preoccupied doing whatever, so Vi was the one being summoned to some scene inside. "Someone fell into the snake pit?" Vi asked the worker as she was guided over to the snake pit. When she peered over the edge though, her brows furrowed. She stayed silent as her sister began to ask for help and she sighed. "I got this, I'll handle everything," She assured the employee so she and her sister could be alone. Thank Janna this area of the zoo was barely inhabited. "You're playing a danger game here, you know that?" Vi warned her as she started to climb over the railing. "Also, if you just wanted to say hi, you could've went in through the front," She teased but it wasn't that simple. Jinx was a wanted woman but currently Piltover didn't have a description or proper picture of her. It made things a lot easier for Vi, to say the least. "C'mon, up and at 'em—and don't bring one of the snakes with you," She added before she clasped Jinx's hand and effortlessly pulled her up. Vi helped the young woman over the railing before she climbed over herself. She dusted herself off before she looked her sister over. "Are you okay? Did any of them bite you? They shouldn't have, unless you hit one of them or something," Vi said and gently reached out to take Jinx's arm, wanting to both touch her and look her over for bites.

Jinx grasped her sister's offered arm and allowed the strong, familiar fingers to wound around her hand tightly. The touch and resulting pull were familiar, leaving a heavy feeling in her gut. It was the same type of thug, Powder had experienced whenever Vi had to get them out of danger fast. She refused to dwell on the feeling for too long and instead focused on helping Vi to get her as smoothly over the railing of the snake pit as possible. The snakes dropped off her body, relinquishing their hold, as she finally swung over the railing and landed on the other side.

She rolled her eyes a touch as Vi felt around her, checking for any bitemarks. Involuntarily, Jinx turned into an impatient six-year-old again, struggling to stand still while her big sister checked her for bruises. Jinx grumbled:

"I'm fine, Vi. None of the snakes bit me. Will you stop moving my arm around?"

She wasn't given much choice in the matter. Vi was bigger and stronger than her. Always had been. Finally, the doctoring of her big sister stopped and Jinx perpetually crossed her arms. It was hard to say, whom she was more peeved at: Herself for having fallen into the snake pit (as Fishbones insisted, they should have taken an easier route instead of scaling the trees and vents, no matter how good a climber she was) or Vi for having found her in this humiliating position.

"I wasn't here for you", Jinx said, "Fishbones and I wanted to watch the leopard seals. He loves them so very much. Danger, danger, danger... Blah, blah, blah. I know! I know I am playing a dangerous game, but hey, I have fooled those pesky Pilties enough times before." She snickered bemused. "At least I ain't on freaking watch the zoo duty. What? Does Piltover fear a repeat of last time?"