#but you cannot acknowledge it verbally (at first not to yourself; then not to the other; and finally not to others)

[panncakes]

the phumpeem dynamic and unwillingness to label anything might seem unexplainable to you but to me, a scholar (lesbian who had a too intense female friendship as a teenager), it is perfect

[ghosts-and-glory]

Some Narinder character analysis for y’all.

This is a slightly re-edited excerpt from a much longer post of mine where I was specifically trying to provide a rebuttal to someone else. I’m kinda proud of some of my takes here and the write up took me hours so I’m gonna repost it here on its own.

I’m going into specifically into Narinder’s

Speech patterns and way of expressing emotions.

Implications of his post defeat dialogue

Relationship with Aym and Baal

Feelings on Ratau’s death

And a little extra on why do we “babygirl” Narinder

Full analysis under the cut.

The way Narinder expresses his positive feelings

First I gotta establish Narinder’s voice. Narinder seems almost incapable of giving a genuine compliment especially without turning it into something about himself.

Here’s three examples of him giving a complement to The Lamb. Taken from after defeating Amdusias and Shamura. He also complements The Lamb when you sacrifice Ratau but I’ll come back around to that.

I wanted to grab the entire quotes so it didn’t look like I was nitpicking.

"Very good, my vessel. It seems I chose well when I kept you from Death.”

First example, “very good,” is the complement, but immediately after he takes credit for this by calling you “my vessel” thereby claiming ownership over you. His vessel did well. And again “I chose well” doubled down and complemented himself.

“I admit, you have worn it (the red crown) almost as well as I could have myself.”

Again we see the complement layered in ego. “Almost as well as I” in other words you did well, but don’t forget I’m better. Also important to draw attention to is “I admit” this is a very explicit statement of his refusal to acknowledge the success of others.

"Your appetite for death is something I can admire, Vessel. But the Crown is mine, and none - NONE - are worthy. None other than I.”

Here he almost lays down a complement. “Your appetite for death is something I can admire” straight up, states his admiration. He seems to almost realize what he’s done and quickly pulls back into his ego, “But the crown is mine” “-none are worthy- None other than I.”

These are the three of the four ONLY times that Narinder ever says anything explicitly positive about someone else when he is a god. Thus establishing that the head ass cannot give out a compliment to save his life. The one time he gives you full credit for your actions he immediately pulls right back into his ego.

I cannot stress this enough. Someone who is characterized as cold and emotionally closed off as Narinder is WILL NOT suddenly undo this characteristic when they try and express a positive feeling.

Okay with that established we can look at his follower dialogue. Specifically these two examples from when you resurrect a follower and allow him to go on a mission.

“I cannot begrudge supplantation by one such as yourself.”

Literally saying I don’t resent you for taking my place. It’s not an explicit statement that he respects you but this is he weird fucked up little way of saying it. Of course he still lays it out in a way that’s self centred but we know from the way he has spoken that this is about as much verbal praise he is capable of giving.

The other one is a less explicit statement but I think it’s a interesting reflection of the final place of his character.

“…my thanks, Lamb.”

Being his last bit of unique dialogue, it’s an incredible ending to a character. He thanks you. That’s all he needed to say.

Narinder’s reaction to his defeat that he would rather die.

Let’s go over his dialogue in some depth.

"You weak, snivelling, foul thing. You - wait! Waaaiiiiiit!"

I’m starting with this line as it compels me the most. I find that there are two separate readings of this and I can’t really point to one above the other. On my play through I had assumed his wailing was more in reference to being denied death. It could also be read as him not wanting to be reduced to a follower and realizing what your mercy really means for his future.

“-are you to be a vengeful false idol, or a merciful coward? No longer can you blame your vile acts on me."

Okay, looking at the way he presents your two options he seems to push more for the murder action. “-vengeful false idol,” is how he refers to murder. It’s not exactly a glowing review but his use of the word vengeful is important. We know that one of Narinder’s main goals in the game is revenge, we he already acts with revenge I can’t say that he’s using this word as an insult. The false idol part of this statement seems like he’s attempted to separate himself from you, again for is ego.

Then he presents the spare option by calling you a “merciful coward.” The flow of this full sentence puts more pressure on this option. He presents it as the “or” the second option. This is the bad option, the option of a coward.

“So. vou are no different to me after all. You have become as I am."

I know this is a deranged order to go over these quotes but last we got murder. Compared to his spare dialogue this is incredibly sombre. We know from already establishing how big his ego is that saying you are the same as him is almost a compliment. I do find this dialogue incredibly interesting tho, I can’t exactly explain why but I can’t help but read this as damning as well. It’s like he means it in both ways, the ultimate fuck you. You are just as I am, for better and worse.

But from what we know about Narinder his edgy ass cannot express emotion. He wraps his statements in layers of irony and selfishness. Unless it supports the persona he puts on or inflates his ego he WILL NOT right out state his feelings or needs, especially when he was a chained god.

Relationship with Aym and Baal

Aym and Baal are incredibly hard to characterize. They don’t have much dialogue to work off of and only three characters every speak on them, Shamura, Narinder and Forneus. The context of the game does present them as more Narinder’s first (and second) hand, less followers more apprentices, almost, but where’s the fun in assuming.

"Intended as keepers, perhaps, but they were young and in need of guidance. Must I be blamed for my influence?"

I wanna draw attention to the specific wording of keepers. Again, based on the way Narinder speaks its safe to assume he means the formal meaning of a keeper, meaning a caretaker. It is unclear if Narinder was told they where his keepers or if he assumed so, but either way he still speaks on them as such.

For the sake of argument (and I don’t wanna rewrite this bit entirely) I’m gonna put the idea that Narinder brainwashed Aym and Baal against my presented idea of them being his keepers or apprentices.

The proposed idea of the brainwashing angle can be developed based on Narinder saying that “they where young and in need of guidance, must I be blamed for my influence.” This implies that, as much as Aym and Baal may have been sent as keepers, they where still young and Narinder could not help but be an influence on them. I am gonna come back around to this thread so hold onto this for a moment. Moving on.

“Two kits I did have, true love found! And yet one lackadaisy summer day, my beautiful children were taken away... a gift, they said, for the one they loved most, the one that waits...”

“Ooh, kits... I remember, I remember... two kits in my claws... a gift.."

It is unclear and morally dubious how Aym and Baal came to Narinder. First we’re not 100% where Narinder is chained. The wiki lists it as the afterlife and in dialogue Narinder refers to it as “at the gates between this life and the next, trapped at the nexus of what was and what wasn't.” (When he asks you to send him on a mission.) We can travel there both by dying and being summoned there by him.

Either way the assumption is that Aym and Baal had to die. (As an aside I have my own speculation on the conditions required for a person to be presented to Narinder or to be resurrected but that’s off topic.) The horrific implications being that either Shamura themself killed the kits or that they where already dying. However you cannot blame the reaper for ushering the dead away from life.

I’m going to work off of the cult specific definition and characteristics of brainwashing. It’s hard to characterize where Aym and Baal sit here as, again they have little dialogue and due to the nature of brainwashing it’s hard to spot. First I wanna grab my brainwashing resources.

I’m using Encyclopedia Britannica’s page on brainwashing, cults, indoctrination, manipulation as my primary resourse.

Again I kinda wanna apply a layer of irony to how literally I apply real life tragedy to this game that obviously uses cults in a comedic manner. I wanna focus in on the characteristics displayed by victims of brainwashing and the techniques used in brainwashing by an abuser.

Looking at the elements used in brainwashing the only one I can say off the bat that is present is isolation, obviously. But with that let’s grab all of Aym and Baal’s dialogue.

What is clear from their dialogue is their obedience to Narinder. They call him master while his keepers and still when you meet them later when adventuring. And physically we do see them by Narinder’s side the entire main game and they fight the Lamb first. But if we add some nuance and look at their role as keepers or my own theory of being apprentices both actions of obedience make sense still for those roles. On the same note they also don’t display traits you would expect for someone fully under Narinder’s control. They speak to the Lamb out of turn and attack without prompting from Narinder.

Other characteristics are hard to imply. With torture I do want to pass it off an unlikely as based on the way Narinder tries to manipulate the Lamb it’s only verbal and he cannot attack while chained and I don’t see that changing with the keepers. Traits like sleep, water and food deprivation can’t be applied for various reasons (mostly the being dead one) and we don’t know anything about Narinder and the keeper’s interactions in the past so I’ll have to disregard other traits like suggestion.

Baal: "It's you. Usurper of the Red Crown. The one who freed us."

Aym: "Ha! You are nothing compared to our Master. We have not been in this world long, but already I can tell you are weak. You lack discipline. Our Master wielded Death with precision and control. You allow chaos to reign."

Baal: "What my brother means to say is thank you."

Moving onto groupthink I can pretty comfortably say that this is not a present characteristic of Aym and Baal. In their limited dialogue we can easily characterize Aym as more outwardly defensive of Narinder but Baal is more reserved and even contradicts Aym and is able to speak freely of Narinder.

Looping back around to the way Narinder speaks on his influence on Aym and Baal. Again we know how Narinder speaks, he cannot give honest compliments and dodges affection like it’s a professional sport. With the way he will outright tell the Lamb to manipulate followers and then uses the words “guidance” and “influence” about Aym and Baal, he has to be avoiding admitting affection to the keepers. He does follow that up with “Do what you wish, scornful God. I care not for them.” But again does Forneus not also allow her kits to do as they wish?

My own reading of Narinder’s relation to Aym and Baal is that of mentorship but it could also be read as parental. But saying brainwashed is a big stretch.

His feelings on the death of Ratau

This is like another example of like, yeah, wow, an evil character does evil? Who could’ve possibly foreseen this? Sarcasm aside I do see his comments on this being a lesser evil.

First I do have to ask why, if Narinder held strong sense of unrest against his former vessel, did he not have him struck down? The main reason I can see is that Ratau is still devoted to the red crown, most clearly seen by the statue at the lonely shack which generates devotion.

Second, Ratau’s death isn’t on his hands, it’s on yours. I find his pride here is from The Lamb’s actions not the death of Ratau. You killed your mentor, he describes your actions as “treacherous opportunism” and says “A great Vessel takes their master's will as their own.” Based on his later dialogue this is likely more foreshadowing the Lamb becoming as Narinder is. Narinder tried to kill his siblings, and you did kill your mentor. “You have become as I am."

I’m gonna tangent quickly cause there’s a line here that is incredibly interesting.

"He renounced his position after striking a bargain that resulted in the sacrifice of a Follower. He was weak."

Incredibly interesting the way he condemns Ratau’s sacrifice of a follower. Narinder directly contradicts himself. It is implied that the follower was lost to another being that did not benefit Narinder, but the Lamb also sacrifices followers to the Fox and Midas. Just something to chew on.

Why do we “babygirl” Narinder and other evil characters?

This is kinda the last bit I’m gonna get into before I cap this off. It is incredibly funny for me to say “I babygirl Narinder” only to get a reply that’s like “I don’t think you babygirl him on purpose.” But I wanna talk about why this happens and why it happened to specifically Narinder.

When people complain about the fandom interpretation of Narinder I think they forget the tone of cult of the lamb. The closest thing I could think to call it would be a dark comedy kinda energy.

The game has very dark themes going on. Mentions of real horrible things like genocide, cults and religious abuse. But also just like look at the game, it’s visual style is so cute and non threatening, the bird characters have two mouths to commit to the bit. If you look at the way it depicts cults it’s very surface level, it’s more focused on being a satire on the common satanic media kinda look of a cult. Visually it bathes in its aesthetics, taking names from books like The Lessee Key of Solomon, uses villainous depictions of symbols like the pentagram or old Hebrew script, disregarding its nuanced origins.

And then they go onto do the funniest thing ever. The other bishop’s? Gross little freaks, based on commonly disliked animals, worm, frog, squid and spider. And then- and then they make the god of death, who they characterize and manipulative and evil, they make him a catboy. You cannot tell me they did not know what they where doing.

Why have I shot Narinder with the babygirl beam? CAUSE THE GAME DID IT FIRST!

I’m gonna call the god of death my little meow meow and point out his status as a Tumblr sexy man cause he’s a little guy and I wanna give him head scritches. But I’m also gonna call him a layered, fucked up and an incredibly interesting character in the same breath.

[soupthatistohot]

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Chapter 9

How We Help Others

[Masterpost]

(Please note that this analysis is my first after updating my definition of the philosophy of the absurd, which has altered my understanding of the subject)

This chapter opens with Atsushi and Kunikida debating the fate of Kyouka. Kunikida demands she be handed over to the police as a known assassin of 35 people, where she will inevitably be put on death row. Additionally, if she returns to the mafia, she will be inevitably murdered for her betrayal. Atsushi is hesitant to turn her in, though, after having saved her in the previous chapter and seeing her humanity. 

Kunikida then argues on behalf of Atsushi’s self-preservation, claiming “I am not telling you to ignore the plights of the unfortunate. But in the world we live in, such misfortune is prevalent. Consider yourself a one-man boat. If you try to save someone you cannot, it will sink both of you.” This prompts Atsushi to internally question why Dazai chose to save him.

Essentially, Atsushi is being challenged as the absurdist protagonist. Kunikida is actually arguing on behalf of those who give in to the absurd reality. He basically says that the world sucks and we can’t save everyone, and while he has a point in terms of Atsushi’s self-preservation, he is ultimately suggesting that Atsushi give up on saving Kyouka because she’s a lost cause. 

This conflicts Atsushi, whose instinct is to help others — and as of right now, it is quite literally his reason for living. If he fails to save Kyouka, what does that make him? Especially after Dazai went out of his way to save Atsushi and give him a purpose. 

So what does Atsushi do? He stalls. He takes Kyouka out for a fun day in Yokohama rather than going straight to the military police as Kunikida ordered him to. It’s a rebellion against the idea that she’s beyond saving and serves as a reminder to the reader that Kyouka may be an assassin, but she’s also a thirteen-year-old, a rebellion against the absurd idea that a child should be sentenced to death.

Kyouka isn’t blind, though. She eventually leads Atsushi to the police station, intending to turn herself in… and then Akutagawa appears. 

Kyouka was bait. She won’t be punished for her betrayal, as this was the plan all along, unbeknownst to her. For Kyouka, it’s absurd — just when she thinks that she might be able to face her crimes by turning herself in, Akutagawa comes along to drag her back into the darkness. 

Meanwhile, Dazai has been “captured” by the Port Mafia and is locked in a dungeon, where Akutagawa comes to visit him (note that this takes place before Akutagawa sabotages Kyouka and Atsushi). 

This scene is the first time the connection between Akutagawa and Dazai is directly addressed, revealing that the latter trained the former during his time as a PM executive. Dazai very much slips back into his old ways here, criticizing Akutagawa harshly — complaining about how difficult he was, calling his ability useless, and claiming that Atsushi is ultimately better than him, goading Akutagawa into beating him multiple times. 

It’s interesting to see here how differently Dazai deals with Atsushi and Akutagawa, both his protogés. I don’t know for sure if he’s already planning to make them the new double black at this point, but I’d bet that he’s starting to. This is likely because at the current moment, Akutagawa’s reason for living is to impress Dazai, and Dazai knows this, so he’s trying to detach himself from being Akutagawa’s objective by pitting him against Atsushi.

I want to acknowledge here that while Dazai’s ultimate objective with Akutagawa is making him better, his methods are extremely dubious. While in the PM, he was verbally, physically, and psychologically abusive. Now, he tends to be more manipulative and cruel than anything else. This hits at the morally gray trend in BSD where no character is entirely “good” or “bad” — and this is reflective of the absurdity of our reality.

We try to assign black and white labels to everything, but that’s not how things work. Dazai can be striving to better Akutagawa, but use malicious, cruel methods to do so. This does not excuse his methodology, but can help us better understand his internal moral compass and character development. 

As always, please feel free to contribute to the discussion! Thanks for reading :>

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[aibloomie]

their main love language <3 (hc’s + short drabbles)

ft: kamado tanjiro, tomioka giyuu, mitsuri kanroji, and mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

words cannot express how much I love these characters <33 especially mikasa oh my god she has me in a chokehold, like how am I supposed to focus on my classes when she’s all I can think about about?

→ KAMADO TANJIRO

━ probably obvious, but words of affirmation !! tanjiro doesn’t struggle with sharing his feelings verbally, especially when they’re about you. he likes being vulnerable with you, loves telling you how he holds you dear in his heart. feeling even a little down about yourself? or maybe you have a habit of “jokingly” putting yourself down? not to worry! because tanjiro is always right by your side to uplift you and sometimes he even scolds you lightly (it’s the nurturing side of him, he means well)

↳ “I missed you so much!” tanjiro immediately goes over to you, literally whining your name. you were a sight for sore eyes, and just seeing you made all his wounds and sore muscles he got from fighting feel better in an instant.

“will you quit that? not everyone has a lover like you tanjiro, you’re making us lonely people feel bad.” zenitsu complained, pouting and crying on the inside as he looked the other way because he was just oh so jealous that he didn’t have a significant other. 

but tanjiro could only focus on you, wrapping an arm around you even if it physically hurt him due to his injuries. his voice would be soft as he held you close and spoke into your ear. “let’s never be apart, okay? it’s not fair you couldn’t be there with us, we all wanted you there! and well...I just always want to be with you, I love you so much.”

and as you walk him to the nursing area, he's just gushing out compliments and making up for all the lost time in which he couldn't tell you how much he adores you <3

→ TOMIOKA GIYUU

━ quality time !! even the fact that giyuu wants and willingly chooses to spend his time with you should be reassuring. because if he didn’t he would just leave without a word, he uses his time wisely and would not hang out with someone he didn’t like. but whenever he is done with his training and daily duties, he immediately walks around to find you, or he asks those around if they have seen you. it’s sweet, the first thought in his head is your whereabouts. he feels so comfortable in your presence, and he’s not much of a talker so he enjoys hearing your voice and is genuinely interested in everything you have to say. sometimes, you can even see him smiling slightly when you talk about random things. or even if it’s silent, he just loves being around you. or oh my god, when you go over to him?? immediate heart eyes because oh wow !! you’re choosing to spend time with him?

↳ giyuu let out a pleased sigh as he leaned against the wooden fence and listened to you ramble on about your day. he was completely infatuated with you, and the way you complained about how sanemi was being a complete asshole.

"and then he had the audacity to not even acknowledge me." you finally finished your small vent before looking over at your boyfriend and noticing his intense gaze.

he suddenly became self aware and self conscious, looking away from you quickly. you noticed his cheeks turn a pretty hue of pink and you started smiling, quickly clinging onto his arm and joining him in silence to give him a chance to recollect his thoughts and drive his flustered state away. your boyfriend truly reacted in the most heart warming ways.

→ MITSURI KANROJI

━ she’s so expressive and she loves physical affection !! like, you know how when you see a cute animal you want to suffocate it with your love? well, that’s how mitsuri feels about you! every time she sets eyes on you, she’s already running your way with her arms spread and she pulls you into a tight hug, squealing out of delight. and when you guys reunite from a mission she'll pepper your face with kisses, loving the smile you give her when she pulls away. and just whenever the two of you are together she has to be right next to you with her arm aligning next to yours 

↳ "ah! you're back! you're back!" mitsuri shouted as she scurried on over to you with the biggest smile on her face. her long and colorful braids bounced in unison with her movements, and she made you feel as if you two were the only people who existed. she wrapped her arms around you moved you side by side with her, sounds of joy escaping her and making its way into your ears.

→ MIKASA ACKERMAN

━ acts of service for sure <3 you have mikasa wrapped around your finger, and she has a hard time saying that she loves you because she gets all flustered and the words get stuck in her throat. but there are so many things she does to make up for it, to show that she does love you. whenever the troops are giving their rations of food - no matter how little or much, she’ll still share some of hers with you because she wants you to have your strength. after tough days in duty she’ll sit you down and massage your sore muscles, her eyebrows furrowed out of concern as she asks if you’re okay. or when you’re having a hard time sleeping because you’re on edge with everything going on, she’ll lay next to you and stay awake with you - trying to calm you down and make you fall asleep

↳ "mikasa, you should really save that for yourself. you're going to get hungry later." you leaned away from her as she tried to hand you her tray of food, a timid smile on your face as to not come across as rude.

she always got what she wanted though, and somehow you ended up sitting back down and eating the extra food she gave you. she sat idly beside you, not being one who usually started conversations. you couldn't help but smile at how cute she was being so you scooped up a spoonful of soup and nudged closer to her, "here, say ahh!"

[pupboy-tckles]

Wallace Wells Tickle Headcanons <3

(Sfw interaction only. Not written for kink.)

-Wallace is strictly a ler. He personally cannot handle being tickled, as it registers as pain for him. He does not like any aspect of being tickled, himself, even outside of that. The lack of control, the vulnerability of it, it’s not his favorite. On the other hand, he enjoys every aspect of tickling another person. 

-As a man of physical touch, of course it would be something he enjoys. Running his hands all over his lee to find their sensitive spots. The ability to give his lees an utter dopamine rush, and give them the giggles they deserve. Getting to relentlessly tease them and watch as they cover their cute faces. Letting his lees not think for a while. It’s right up his alley in every way. 

-Try to tickle him and you will live to regret it. (Dhar Mann style) 

He will pin you to the nearest surface and attack the most sensitive parts of your body, with whatever he has on hand. That might just be his hands, that might be utilizing the vibration of the thousand texts he gets from Stacey. He will not stop until you seriously tell him to, or you are crying. He will make you beg for a break. It’s one of the few times you can successfully bother him into tickles, he’s very serious about his no tickle rule. 

-He’s not very easy to annoy, in that way. In his eyes, if you’re a brat about it, he’s not going to give you what you want. Simple as that. The only exceptions are the aforementioned attempt to tickle him, and the good old stealing the TV remote. “Give me the remote!” trope is basically tailored to him, if his lee takes something from him to tease him into tickling them, best believe they will get it. Tasering their sides or under arms to get them to drop it or hand it back, he doesn’t hesitate. Especially if it’s actually the literal TV remote. 

-Most times he will make you flat out ask. He’s the type to intentionally ignore subtle hints that you want tickles. Any attempt to flash vulnerable spots, or put yourself within arms reach, will not be acknowledged. You might get a “you want something?” but he still expects you to actually ask first. He only accepts “tword” sometimes, every other time he would love if you could spit the word out. It’s his favorite form of teasing, making his lee be as straight forward as possible. Same goes if he asks, which sometimes if he’s in a good enough ler mood, he will. He needs a verbal or otherwise direct yes or no. 

-King of teasing, of course he is. He’s so cocky about it. His requirement of direct communication is just the start. If you’re out with friends he won’t hesitate to poke your sides, or strategically say words that sound like “tickle” just to startle you. He thinks it’s cute how fast your eyes dart over to him the moment you think you hear it. Messaging you late at night talking about new ideas he has for sessions, attempting to put you in a lee mood when he’s nowhere near you.  He’ll also 100% tease you for your interest in the subject in the first place. He won’t ever get mean about it but, you know him, he’s gonna make fun of anyone in any way he can. Even if it is a tad hypocritical considering it’s also something he enjoys. 

-His verbal teases can kill. He knows how to make someone get in the deepest of lee moods just from yapping. 

“Wait does that tickle? I had no idea!” In the most sarcastic voice. 

“it can’t be that bad, this isn’t even one of your sensitive spots!” While actively attacking death spots. 

“Cmon, bud, don’t cry! You can take it.” While you’re crying from laughter. 

A master of knowing just what to say to make you feel warm and fuzzy. Maybe making your brain warm and fuzzy. 

-Uses a lot of soft touches, and utilizes his fingernails whenever he can. His nails aren’t exactly manicured and pretty, but they’re long enough to make an impact. Running his nails down your back, barely even making contact. Going down your spine one vertebrae at a time. Ghosting your sides and stomach to see you twitch. Lightly running his thumb across the back of your hand. He mostly believes that less is more. 

-He can wreck you though. He will wreck you, if that’s what you want. If your goal is to wipe your brain and replace your thoughts with nothing but laughter and the feeling of hands, he will absolutely provide. He would adore to. He can be absolutely relentless about it, not stopping to even breathe until you’re crying. He has so much stamina and energy, you will likely tap out before him. If you think otherwise, feel free to challenge him, but you may regret it. 

-He loves the reactions of it all. It’s easily his favorite part, looking at his lee’s face and seeing how their nose scrunches up when he finds certain spots, or how their breathing stops with silent laughter when he grazes others. Finding their cheeks warm and hearing the left over giggles when he goes hands off for a moment. He absolutely adores being able to immediately see the results of his actions, he pays such attention to all the body language of his lee. 

-Fond of wake up tickles. He’s always having to wake up Scott at ungodly hours of the day, sometimes he just takes advantage of the weird positions he sleeps in. He absolutely will dig his nails into Scott’s under arms and ribs just because it annoys him to be awoken so suddenly. That’s why he likes them, mostly, because of how startled and annoyed the lee gets. Their little groans of protest at his cold hands, he thinks it’s cute. 

-Also a big fan of utilizing tools. Soft stuff, especially. Feathers of any kind, brushes and dusters. He loves using them, especially when his lee least expects it. He tries a lot of different fabrics, as well. He may wear gloves of all kinds, but he also keeps variety on the long sleeves that may brush against his lee while he’s doing his thing. 

-So good at aftercare. He’s good at tiring someone out, so he’s gotta be good at taking care of them afterwards. He will always make you food, or put a movie you like on, or just sit there and cuddle if that’s what makes you feel best. His only requirement is water, he makes sure the both of you drink water. It can be a strenuous activity. It’s exercise. You have to be hydrated. He knows that a session can be mentally draining as well. Having so many good chemicals and then having it randomly stop can be tough. He’s always watching out. 

[breezybeej]

Just practicing my lyrical analysis to prepare myself for a project. Do not mind me

There are a lot of parallels between poetry and song lyrics but there are some crucial differences as well.

One is obviously the presence of music. Some poems work wonderfully when you throw a beat behind them but many do not. The deeper you go into poetry the more you start to realize that it is a visual medium as well as a verbal one. song lyrics cannot very well play with their typography to convey ideas because it is an auditory format.

Another is delivery. Some poetry is structured so that it can only be delivered with a certain meter which influences the interpretation but you are left without vocal tone to indicate anything. Some examples in songs might be Chappell Roan's vocal 'cracks' in Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl as she constantly shifts between her head voice and her chest voice to create these desperate sounding yells to convey her intense yearning. Or the way Thom Yorke opens the song 15 Step with a severe mumble and almost a whimper and at the end of the song he delivers the final line crisply and firmly. We have a sense of change in the narrator of the song, our subject becoming resolute.

Now as this relates to lyricism, let's talk about what we mean. Songs do not have a lot of time to get their meaning across so we use things like vocal tone, instrumentation, and reference to speed up the process for the listener and also provide color to your canvas. I'm going to break down two examples.

Chevelle is a hard rock band known for their cynical lyrics. One of my absolute favorite songs by them is Hats Off to the Bull. Before we even listen to the song, what does that bring to mind?

"Hats off" is a phrase typically used to signify that you are showing respect to someone, often when they had no chance but tried their best. In what situations would this apply to a bull? We have two major sports that fit: Bullfighting and Rodeos. Either one works here so I'll go with fighting.

We already have the thesis of the song. The bull can never truly win. It is trapped by the spectacle of the sport. Even if he defeats the matador, he faces more fights and ultimately slaughter (for the record, I am speaking to the common layman conception of bullfighting, there are many traditions and nuance). A "hats off" to the bull is acknowledgement that he fought as hard as he could despite having no hope for success. Winning the battles, losing the war etc etc.

And if we listen to the song, yeah that's the feeling they explore. And the delivery of the line is harsh, strained, it's *angry*. It makes you feel like the singer is watching this Injustice and cannot do anything about it aside from salute the bull for trying its best despite its hopelessness.

That is a single line as the title of the song and the first line of the chorus. it carries so much meaning and emotion while being five single syllable words. it carries that meaning by referencing an activity many are at least generally aware of and the common gesture of removing your hat in respect. it is not a difficult set of dots to connect but it is very well crafted so that you can connect those dots and also save some words for the lyricist.

Next up is the song Submarine by L'imperatrice.

If we try the same analysis, we look at the word submarine and think pressurized vessel deep underwater. Doesn't really tell us much because it's just one word. But wait, what is the album? Tako Tsubo, which is a stylizing of the term Takotsubo's cardiomyopathy or broken heart disease. Combined, maybe we are dealing with what happens when a pressurized vessel ruptures?

Pretty close. They don't talk about the actual rupture, just the idea of having this pressurized shell that the world sees without knowing what's going on inside.

So we have a song about the social pressure to not express yourself whenever you are sad (or any other non-happy emotion) and also the pressure that builds up inside you as a result of that. We are looking at a situation where people are turning themselves into pressure vessels that could erupt catastrophically. That last part is never said directly in the song but keep that submarine terminology in mind because nowhere in the song is the word submarine said.

Rather, every line of the chorus *rhymes* with submarine which primes you to think about the title in relation to the lyrics, it primes you to make that imagery yourself. The song also does not talk about the consequences of too much pressure building up, you have to know that is a risk with submarines.

Building on that, most of the verses are sung in a reserved kind of low-key tone. these are the lyrics that discuss vulnerabilities and feelings. When we get to the chorus, there is a shift to what almost sounds like the singer is straightening her back and projecting confidence as she sings about having this strong outer shell that's not revealing any emotions. The doubling of her vocals is also more prominent here which makes it sound like multiple people are expressing the same idea. After all, she says at the beginning of the song that everyone shares that same view, they only show what they want to. This projected confidence in the chorus with the vocals layered on top of themselves conveys that same idea. Everyone is saying this to themselves.

Another aspect of the submarine is that it is a lonely vessel. Once you are underwater and inside this capsule, you can't very well invite someone else in. The inherent loneliness of how society handles sadness is present here. Am I the only one who was born to be blue? it feels like that because everyone else is hiding their sadness so you feel like you are the only sad person.

My favorite part of the song plays directly into all of these feelings together when the chorus ends. That projected confidence comes through with the line "I don't need to say goodbye" and it instantly collapses when she asks the genuine heartfelt question with a waver in her voice "do I?"

Once again, we have very straightforward concepts and they are very easy to interpret because the lyricist and the musicians structured their song very well to deliver them and make them digestible to the listener. You don't have to try hard to pull these concepts out because they did a good job writing them. They are also able to impart nuance to this theme by leaning on reference and tone. not only can you grasp the song but you can also do deep readings and still pull information out. it is simple and complex.

Both of these examples could work as poetry but it is the instrumentation and delivery that gives them deeper color in the same way that many poems could not just be translated to songs specifically because you would have to come up with your own tone and instrumentation which would recolor what is on the page.

With this in mind, I'm curious to see if any of these things are explored in the tor/tur/ed po/ets depar/tme/nt. since people hail TAS as a great lyricist, I anticipate being able to tease out some of these differences in her upcoming work. I suppose we'll see. yeah, it's probably unfair to go into an album with predetermined expectations, I'm not demanding that this album work in this space but I do expect to be able to perform a similar level of analysis on it.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

This is basically a rant. So the post is going to be long.

I wish that the reason why Izuku doesn't hold a grudge on Bakugo was explain. Because he had tormented him for approximately ten years or so and I don't know anyone who would ever forgive their bully if they went through this personally.

On the subject of bullying. It's seems that everyone has different perspectives on it and I think this is Horikoshi's fault when he only showed a few moments of the bullying. There are those who probably believe that all Bakugou did push or shove Izuku around, which would have still made Izuku's life a living nightmare. And others who think that the bullying was more serious and I personally am on this side. Why? Because the first chapter opens up with five Bakugo and his friends beating up the defenseless Izuku. This implied to me that the bullying that Izuku would receive is serious. If Bakugo, at the age of five, resorted to gang up on Izuku to beat him up, then what's stopping him from continuing to do so as he gets older. When they are middle school, Bakugo does nothing more than ya know tell his victim to suicide. And yes, Horikoshi does say that he regrets writing that scene. But what the Bakugou apologists don't understand is that when Horikoshi was writing that scene, he had done it because he thought that Bakugou would actually do it. I mean it's his character isn't it.

This has many implications. First of all it seems that Bakugo had changed his bullying method from beating him up to emotional and mentally bringing him down. This doesn't mean that the bullying had gotten better. No I would say that this is way worse.

What I'm trying to say is that regardless of how severe you think it is, you have to acknowledge that what Izuku went through was nothing to joke about. Bullying seriously ruins a person life or the way they view themselves. It's not mutual bullying, in which the two people in this situation are equal, it's vastly one-sided.

People generally forget about the physical harm that they went through. Even if they do, they wouldn't remember the pain. But hurtful words will never be forgotten. The damage caused by verbal abuse is irreplaceable. Horikoshi does show this when he made Izuku refer to himself as "useless Deku." I hate that he thinks of himself this way. If Izuku's useless, then what does that make of Bakugo. Because last time I checked had done so many things that impacted the people in his world positively than Bakugo who spent this time yelling at others.

And to those who complained that the people who say that we don't read the manga or should stop complaining about Bakugo's redemption because Bakugo isn't our bully. Do you hear yourself? Do you not have characters that you hate as well? Not everyone has the same interpretation and stories are made in mind so that the audience can relate it to in some way. Like of course those who have been bullied are unsatisfied with the way that Horikoshi deals with the abuser and victim storylines. This is because he only gives introspection into the abuser and never focuses on the victims feeling.

The Todoroki family drama wasn't so bad because Horikoshi write Endeavor to have actual consequences. Such as the entirety of Japan finding out about his abuse and his popularity diminished. Even Hawks, his most loyal fan and hero partner, acts differently around Endeavor. Secondly, his family openly puts the blame on him and he doesn't try to argue back because he understands that it's all his fault. Thirdly, Endeavor wants his family to be happy, even if that means he has to be out of the picture, and he is ready to commit to it. Which are all real consequences. Call me an Endeavor apologist, but you have to understand that I don't think Endeavor is a goody two shoes who has done nothing wrong. He is an abuser and that cannot be ignored and I have no problem if someone doesn't like Endeavor because his arc isn't all that perfect. Horikoshi could have written it better. The only reason why I brought this up is because this is a better redemption arc that Horikoshi had created that I would be inclined to acknowledge as an actual redemption arc.

But Izuku and Bakugo's storyline is absolute dumpster fire. Izuku is only allowed to feel or say anything towards Bakugou that would help further his arc, not Izuku's. Izuku's feelings are also important in this redemption arc and without addressing them, it's not an actual redemption arc. It's an arc that only serves to uplift the abuser by not giving them actual consequences. Bakugo's ego being hurt here and there is not a part of his redemption arc. Even if Bakugo had become a better person than what he was before, how does that redeem him? Sure he's grown as a person, but what about how he treated Izuku? Because a pathetic apology is not going to fix the damage that he contributed to. Where is Bakugou putting in the effort to treat Izuku better? Has he told him that he was never a "useless Deku" and that he is a heroic person at heart, who deserves his spot in U.A? This wouldn't fix the damage that he had caused, but it would really help them to start over. But Bakugo still has to face the consequences of his actions until he has proven to everyone that he is willing to treat Izuku as a better person.

I'm not against redemption arcs, but if it's as poorly executed like this then there's no point to it. Keep the character the way they are.

Also a well written bully-victim dynamic would not make the victim as one of people at fault for what they went through. That's not how bullying works. All the blame should be on the bully.

Funny thing though, I really didn't have an opinion on Bakugo, until he fucking apologized in the most pathetic way possible and people took that as his redemption. It came out of nowhere with no build up and it still doesn't excuse his actions. I can't believe that I have to say that.

All of this. Beautifully said. I don’t need to add anything to this cause you explained why people hate Katsuki and why his story sucks.

[shakespearean-snape]

"I'm not voting for Biden/voting for Trump to protest" is just a repeat of the same 2016 rhetoric used to trick voters into giving a win to one of the worst, most destructive presidents in recent history over a far more qualified candidate that while hardly deserving of a Valentine for some of her political legacy would still have been significantly better than what we had with Trump.

You are actively endangering many people by voting for Trump or neglecting to vote for Biden "in protest" and not just in the US.

Ask yourself if the same guy who broke all precedent in 2017 to bumble his way into the Israel-Palestinian conflict and recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Isreal and move the US embassy while also still managing through the use of intentional verbal and symbolic dogwhistles and rhetoric to increase the amount of blatant anti-Semitism in the US during his term as president will handle the current crisis in Gaza in any positive way that benefits the people there or successfully navigate criticism of Palestinian genocide and an invasion of Palestine with openly anti-Semitic rhetoric thinly veiled as "valid political criticism."

I'll be the first to say I don't want to see what the situation further deteriorates into under a Trump presidency because I can tell you if you think the US handling of the situation is deserving of criticism now (and to be clear I do think it is and people need to continue raising awareness of what is happening and making their political leaders acknowledge the reality of it and take accountability by all of us doing the same by continuing to educate ourselves and share verifiable information coming from the people in Gaza in addition to speaking up in town halls, public forums, political events, written letters to the editor of local and major publications and signed online petitions because it is having some effect (if not enough of one yet) not to mention we also need to keep showing our support by supporting Palestinian businesses and reputable organizations that are aiding in relief efforts, etc) it's going to get much much worse and I legitimately fear for what a Trump administration will do given Trump's record of escalation and extreme measures over any kind of intelligent diplomacy.

Also, the same guy who STILL praises Putin, encourages Russia to attack our NATO allies and tried to blackmail Ukraine's president Volodymyr Zelenskyy is not someone we want in any position of leadership right now with the ongoing invasion of Ukraine (particularly given how many other Republicans seem united against continued funding already) and we need to remember that and how Trump being elected again will affect the outcome of that war for a free Ukraine.

There is also the growing threat of China wanting to invade Taiwan and Trump's less-than-stellar record of handling any issue with China with any kind of diplomacy or nuance and how even his handling of the Covid pandemic ultimately just devolved into anti-Asian scapegoating here in the US and an increase in violence against Asian Americans.

As someone half-Asian, the fear for myself and my family resulting from this was very real and very personal. I have not forgotten. You cannot convince me that Trump is better than Biden. That voting for Trump is any kind of serious protest when all it does is endanger everyone (in particular marginalized groups living in the US like myself and my family but also on a global scale as I've shown) and our very democracy. It's the most ignorant, reckless kind of virtue signaling imaginable.

Do not fall for it. Do not let 2016 repeat.

Voting is a chess move, not a Valentine.

Vote against Trump and all the current MAGA Republican extremist cult represents and threatens here in the US and abroad.

[alyosiuscreightonward]

I had to come back and ponder this video.

I’ve watched it several times and I still don’t get it. Seriously though, I question why would you want to be in my presence? Like Joe Pesci asked, “What I’m a clown? I make you laugh?” Is that all I am to you?

Fucking Pearl Williams, Belle Barth, Sophie Tucker? Robin Williams? Totie Fields?

“You”? Want to be in my presence? What the actual fuck? I’m an Arrogant Bitter Old Qween and it’s my Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent YOU want to be around? I’m a Cunt and I can teach you how to be a better one. Caustic Acidic Rude Crude Lewd and Socially Unacceptable. These are in my rDNA and I ooze from every single pore.

Verbal Emotional and any other kind of abuse that will not and cannot involve physicality of any sort, then I’m in. Fucking A. My tongue is so sharp that I can easily clip the hedges. Lyrics I can easily quote, cruel to be kind. I’m incapable of being kind.

I’m going to take it anymore. All the years of being a welcome mat and all the years that I allowed myself to be trampled on is now being given back to you.

As I said in an earlier post, I wanted to be held. On my terms and not yours. I don’t know if I’d physically do you harm and then decide at the very last second to be able to help you. So, you slipped or tripped, do I leave you there or do I help you back up?

I’ve randomly sent the following message to my friends and I’ve never ever received it back: Had anyone told you today? If not I'd like to be the first to say, you are loved and I love you. You're the absolutely the best.

Talk about not hearing you screaming in the vacuum of space. If I died tomorrow, motherfucker, I know that you would not shed a single tear. I’m not an idiot. I can feel it in my bones.

Then you have the unmitigated gall to tell me that I need to be kinder gentler to myself. Fuck you. Eat shit and die yourself. In some stupid movie Tom Hanks was saved from a desert island. It was a fucking piece of drivel. The movie intimated it was a fucking miracle that he was saved. Again if I went missing, I wouldn’t even end up on the side of a milk carton nor would you lift a finger. You can’t even acknowledge that I exist. I know that you are going to say that I’m a total waste of a human being and why am I here. Am I the cancer inside you robbing you of all the good times you so justly deserve?! How could you ever thank me for anything.

Just come right out and tell me that I’m a fucking loser.

[affluentenglish]

Mindset Matters: Building Confidence and Reducing Anxiety for Interviews

Effective communication skills have become an indispensable asset in today’s fast-paced and globally connected world. Whether you’re a seasoned professional aiming to enhance your business interactions, an individual seeking to refine your English speaking abilities, or someone interested in boosting your overall personality development, the power of language proficiency cannot be underestimated. That’s where Affluent English comes in.

Effective communication can make the difference between success and stagnation in the corporate world. Our Corporate English Training equips you with the tools to navigate complex business negotiations, articulate ideas persuasively, and engage seamlessly with colleagues and clients from diverse cultural backgrounds. Our Professional English Speaking Course is tailored to empower you with the linguistic prowess required to excel in a dynamic professional environment.

Through immersive modules, real-life scenarios, and interactive practice sessions, you’ll refine your verbal communication skills, harness the nuances of business English, and project confidence in every interaction. Affluent English is a beacon for those who recognize the pivotal role of clear and compelling communication in their personal and professional lives. Our comprehensive range of courses is meticulously designed to cater to diverse needs, whether stepping into the corporate arena, striving to master advanced English skills, or aiming to enrich your overall personality.

The thought of facing a job interview can trigger excitement and Anxiety for most individuals. While interviews are a crucial step in securing your dream job, the fear of the unknown and the pressure to make a positive impression can often lead to nervousness and self-doubt. However, with the right mindset and effective strategies, you can build confidence and reduce Anxiety to excel in your interviews. In this blog, we will explore various techniques to help you master the art of handling interviews with grace and confidence.

Understanding the Interview Anxiety

Interview anxiety is a common experience that stems from the fear of judgment, the pressure to perform, and the uncertainty of the outcome. It can manifest as physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, and increased heart rate, and mental symptoms like negative thoughts and self-criticism. Recognizing that interview anxiety is a natural response to a challenging situation is the first step toward managing it effectively.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that perfection is not the goal. No one expects you to have all the answers. Setting realistic expectations for yourself can reduce the pressure and allow you to focus on doing your best.

Focus on Continuous Improvement: Instead of aiming for absolute perfection, focus on continuous improvement. Embrace the idea that each interview is a chance to learn and grow. With each experience, you’ll become more comfortable and confident.

Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity: Remember that Failure is a natural part of any journey. If an interview goes differently than planned, view it as a learning opportunity. Analyze what didn’t work, adjust your approach, and apply the lessons to future interviews.

Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude by acknowledging the positive aspects of your journey. Consider the skills you’ve gained, the experiences that have shaped you, and your progress. Gratitude can shift your focus from Anxiety to empowerment.

Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with positive influences. Seek supportive friends, mentors, or networking groups that uplift and encourage you. Positive people can provide valuable insights and help you maintain a confident perspective.

Affirm Your Strengths: Regularly remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Create a list of your achievements and qualities that make you a valuable candidate. Review this list before interviews to boost your self-assurance.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. If you feel nervous, acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Self-compassion can ease Anxiety and promote a healthier mindset.

Keep Perspective: Remember that an interview is just one step in your career journey. Your worth is not solely determined by the outcome of a single interaction. Maintaining a broader perspective can help alleviate unnecessary stress.

Engage in Positive Visualization: Beyond imagining a successful interview, visualize your future success in the role you’re applying for. Envision how your skills and contributions will impact the organization. This can boost your confidence and enthusiasm.

Celebrate Small Achievements: Don’t wait for the ultimate success to celebrate. Acknowledge and celebrate small achievements along the way, whether it’s mastering a challenging question or receiving positive feedback during an interview. Cultivating a positive mindset is an ongoing practice that requires self-awareness and intentional effort. By incorporating these additional points into your approach, you can build a resilient and optimistic attitude that will serve you well in interviews and throughout your career journey.

Preparation Is Key

Research: Thoroughly research the company, its culture, and the role you’re applying for. Having in-depth knowledge will not only boost your confidence but also help you ask insightful questions.

Practice mock interviews: Enlist the help of friends, family, or career coaches to conduct mock interviews. Practice common interview questions and receive constructive feedback.

STAR technique: Familiarize yourself with the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) technique for answering behavioral questions. It helps you structure your responses effectively.

Tailor your responses: Customize your answers to highlight relevant skills and experiences that align with the job requirements. Showcase your achievements and how they make you a suitable candidate.

Building Confidence

Dress the part: Choose an outfit that aligns with the company culture and makes you feel confident. When you look good, you tend to feel more self-assured.

Body language: Maintain good posture, offer a firm handshake, and make eye contact. Positive body language not only exudes confidence but also demonstrates professionalism.

Power posing: Spend a few minutes before the interview power posing—standing in confident, expansive poses. Research suggests that this can boost your confidence and reduce stress.

Breathing exercises: Practice deep breathing to calm your nerves before and during the interview. Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, and repeat.

Coping with Anxiety

Practice Pre-Interview Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation techniques into your pre-interview routine. Engage in activities like listening to soothing music, practicing gentle yoga, or taking a calming walk to help center your mind before the interview.

Use Positive Affirmations: Prepare a list of positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself before and during the interview. These affirmations can help counteract negative thoughts and promote a sense of calm and confidence.

Develop a Stress Ball Technique: Consider carrying a stress ball or a small object with a pleasant texture. During the interview, discreetly hold and squeeze it to channel nervous energy and reduce tension.

Engage in Mindful Breathing During the Interview: If Anxiety arises during the interview, use mindful breathing to regain control. Inhale slowly through your nose, counting to four, and then exhale for a count of four. Focusing on your breath can help ground you in the present moment.

Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: This technique involves identifying five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Engaging your senses can redirect your focus away from anxious thoughts.

Create a Calming Ritual: Develop a calming ritual that you can perform before entering the interview space. It could be a few moments of deep breathing, a brief visualization of success, or even a mantra that helps ease Anxiety.

Divert Anxiety with a Fidget Item: Consider bringing a small, quiet fidget item like a worry stone, a small puzzle, or even smooth fabric. Manipulating the article can help channel nervous energy and distract from anxious thoughts.

Practice Grounding Meditation: Grounding meditation involves focusing on the sensations of your body touching various surfaces, such as the chair or your feet on the floor. This technique helps anchor your awareness to the present moment.

Write Down Your Thoughts: If anxious thoughts become overwhelming, discreetly jot them down on a notepad. This can help release the pressure of trying to remember everything and provide a sense of control.

Express Gratitude: During moments of Anxiety, pause and express gratitude for the opportunity to interview. Shifting your focus from worry to appreciation can reframe your perspective and reduce stress. Managing interview anxiety is an ongoing process that can be refined over time. By integrating these additional coping strategies, you can develop a personalized toolkit to navigate anxious moments during interviews and feel more in control of your emotions. Remember, Anxiety is a temporary feeling, and with practice, you can learn to manage it effectively.

The Aftermath: Reflect and Learn

Post-interview analysis: After the interview, take time to reflect on your performance. Note what went well and what you can improve for future interviews.

Practice resilience: If the outcome isn’t as expected, practice resilience. Learn from the experience and use it as motivation to improve.

Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge your effort and growth regardless of the outcome. Celebrate your progress in facing your interview anxiety.

Your Journey, Your Success As you embark on this journey with us, you embark on a transformative experience. Our courses extend beyond mere instruction; they are immersive journeys that cater to your unique needs. 

In the realm of communication, there is no room for mediocrity. Your success depends on your ability to convey ideas, forge connections, and exude confidence. With Affluent English, you’re investing not just in courses but in your future. Our expertly curated content, interactive sessions, and personalized guidance pave the way for your growth, ensuring you’re equipped to overcome challenges and seize opportunities.

Whether you’re striving to refine your professional interactions through the Professional English Speaking Course, aiming to shine in the corporate world with our Corporate English Training, mastering the intricacies of language with the Advanced English Learning Course, or nurturing a well-rounded persona through the Personality Development Course Online, Affluent English has you covered.

SOURCE URL: https://affluentenglish.com/mindset-matters-building-confidence-and-reducing-anxiety-for-interviews/

[dfroza]

people living in the absence of the fear (reverence) of God go astray from morality and truth

we have a God-given conscience as humankind yet some don’t view (acknowledge) it as such

some don’t see the existence of our lives and each breath we take comes from our Creator

from the ancient Proverbs:

Reverence for the Eternal, the one True God, is the beginning of wisdom;

true knowledge of the Holy One is the start of understanding.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 9:10 (The Voice)

Let us begin. The worship of the Eternal One, the one True God, is the first step toward knowledge.

Fools, however, do not fear God and cannot stand wisdom or guidance.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 1:7 (The Voice)

yes, we live in cursed bodies on a cursed planet (of sin and death) and we all have to deal with this anxiety. people find many different ways of coping with it.

but there is healing coming, and it was God who declared the end from the very beginning.

the world will experience great Judgment in the time to come, yet there is no fear in this for those who belong in Love.

“there is no fear in Love”

from John’s writing:

God is love. Anyone who lives faithfully in love also lives faithfully in God, and God lives in him. This love is fulfilled with us, so that on the day of judgment we have confidence based on our identification with Jesus in this world. Love will never invoke fear. Perfect love expels fear, particularly the fear of punishment. The one who fears punishment has not been completed through love.

We love because He has first loved us. If someone claims, “I love God,” but hates his brother or sister, then he is a liar. Anyone who does not love a brother or sister, whom he has seen, cannot possibly love God, whom he has never seen. He gave us a clear command, that all who love God must also love their brothers and sisters.

The Letter of 1st John, Chapter 4:16-21 (The Voice)

we are destined for new bodies just as A new heaven and earth in A grand end of time

and it will be Just even though this current world is not.

A post about social justice (beginning within) by John Parsons:

Surely this nihilistic and moribund culture of anarchy, relativistic chaos, and "radical" politics needs to hear the Torah regarding matters of social justice...

====

Our Torah reading for this week (Shoftim) begins with the commandment that the people of Israel should appoint judges (i.e., shoftim: שׁפְטִים) and officers (i.e., shoterim: שׁוֹטְרִים) so that justice would be respected throughout the promised land (Deut. 16:18). The duty to establish justice is famously stated as, “tzedek, tzedek tirdof” (צֶדֶק צֶדֶק תִּרְדּף): “Justice, Justice you shall pursue” (Deut. 16:20). The word tzedek means “righteousness” and involves the obligation to adhere to moral truth.

Throughout the portion the theme of social justice predominates, as the ethical characteristics for judges are defined, as well as for elders, kings, prophets, and priests, all of whom are responsible for maintaining a just and healthful society. As the prophet wrote: “The work of righteousness shall be peace” (וְהָיָה מַעֲשֵׂה הַצְּדָקָה שָׁלוֹם), and “the service of righteousness (וַעֲבדַת הַצְּדָקָה) shall be quietness and security forever” (Isa. 32:17).

Note that the call for justice, “tzedek, tzedek tirdof” (צֶדֶק צֶדֶק תִּרְדּף) is stated twice to teach that justice must be pursued in an entirely just manner, that is, the methods used to obtain justice must themselves be just... Corrupt law enforcement and judicial systems, political persecution, etc., are all condemned. The Scriptures therefore do not advocate pragmatism or utilitarian thinking. There are no “noble lies” in the Kingdom of Heaven. Violence (verbal or physical) or deception done in the name of God is always forbidden and will be judged by the LORD. We must execute great restraint and caution when we seek to confront oppression in the world. If you want to change the world around you, begin with yourself....

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Deut. 16:18 Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/deut16-18a-lesson.pdf

Hebrew reading audio:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/deut16-18a-jjp.mp3

Shoftim pages:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Shoftim/shoftim.html

H4C audio podcast:

https://hebrew4christians.com/training/parashat-shoftim-shavuah-tov-podcast/

8.13.23 • Facebook

­

[theoneofwhomisblue]

I made my points to refute yours. That's not a troll, that's someone verbally defending themselves when arguments against/shit talked.

"Millions of people engage in this sort of kink without going to prison or even doing anything worthy of prison" this refutes nothing. I brought up the possibility of prison as being my reason (and a reason in general, for being averse to it. You ignored that point to say your point again.

"Yes it's purity wank because you're being anti-sex and anti-kink and using a paper-thin nonsense fear about going to prison (which again #you won't" both just a rewording of what you already said (so a waste of time), and this time simply wrong. It's literally said in the post that: "you can choke someone unconscious in 15 seconds, temporary or permanent brain damage at 30 seconds, and death in 3 minutes" why do you think they brought it up? As a fun fact? A Snapple blurb? No, it's because it's relevant (see the third maxim again: relevance), the whole point of the post is that it can be dangerous. It's not paper thin nonsense any more than the post is.

"#as your weapon" once again, refuting nothing. I already said I have no weapon, I have reasoning for my, emphasis on the MY aversion to it. And the aversion being a reasonable/understandable one.

"#and yes it's kinkphobia because you straight up said 'Don't Have Kinks'" refutes nothing. I acknowledged that you can't not have kinks, making the statement impossible, which was my way of making the reblog comedic. You ignored that to say the same thing again.

"#Even if I was objecting to a specific kink I would never think to use that phrasing because I'm not a kinkphobe" I showed how what I'm doing isn't "kinkphobia" so this point has no bearing in that sense. Also I don't believe I asked, nor did anyone care to know how you would word a post.

"#You don't need to actively pay attention to radfems to imbibe their rhetoric indeed that's how they get you" I can't tell if this is the fault of mine for not wording it right, or yours for not understanding. But I'll say it again, better here. If I find it exhausting then I wouldn't just not pay attention to it, I would actively purge it from my internet algorithms. Which was implied, but that's on me for implying that. I FIND IT EXHAUSTING SO I ACTIVELY GET ANY AND ALL RADFEM CONTENT AWAY FROM ME, SO I CANNOT EVEN PASSIVELY ABSORB THEIR INFORMATION, MUCH LESS ACTIVELY. so, again refuting nothing. But I'll give you a pass because I didn't spell it out obviously. I've had trouble picking up on implication before: I should have accounted for that possibility. You're still wrong on this point.

Oh wow, looks like we're out of wrong points to tackle. Let's look at the whole picture.

None of your points refuted any of mine. You just repeated yourself while calling me a troll or a grade 12.

You have no more points, all you are is angry at me for no particular reason, and are repeating yourself hoping no one notices, all the while insulting me to try to bait me into ignoring your faults/making mistakes.

I will give it to you though, because you put your entire "argument" in the tags, I had to take a screenshot, then look at that while typing this, which was almost enough to get me to not reply at all. Pretty clever of you. Didn't work though.

So, and I say this with all the kindness and concern in my heart: shut the fuck up, actually cut your losses, and don't seem like a complete idiot by saying your points again.

Fuck you for wasting my time. Fuck you for baiting me into being angry at first. And fuck you for being an annoying bitch.

In an interesting turn of events I have been enrolled in a six hour couples bondage seminar despite being both 1. painfully single and 2. Incredibly anxious but fuck it we ball, I guess

[lizasayspsychology]

how do you feel?

Do you know that the ability to identify your emotions is one of key elements of emotional intelligence?

Maybe this may sound obvious for some people, but what if I tell you that I learned to identify and actually name my emotions only at the age of 24? Before that I was "emotionally disabled", which means I was not able to identify not only mine, but also other people`s emotions or feelings.

First, let's start with the difference between emotion and a feeling. Emotions are usually short-lived and intense and are usually a reaction to a specific situation, when feelings are the results of specific emotions, they can be influenced by our perception of the situation and cause physical sensations in our bodies. As a result the same emotion can trigger different feelings among people experiencing it.

According to psychologist Paul Ekman, there are 6 basic emotions:

Happiness;

Sadness;

Fear;

Anger;

Disgust;

Surprise.

These emotions are considered to be basic because they are equally manifested in people regardless of their national and cultural affiliation. I will return to their more detailed description in my next posts.

The ability of people to influence which emotions to have, when to have them, and how to experience and express their feelings is called emotional regulation. Basically, people who can regulate their emotions are able to control them and usually have no problem with pausing between feeling and reactions in order to act after objectively evaluating a situation.

Emotion regulation strategies to cope with difficult situations are usually used by people unconsciously, which leads to the occurrence of 2 types of emotional regulation: healthy (helpful) and unhealthy (harmful). The definition mentioned above refers more to a healthy way of emotional regulation, which is:

Talking with friends;

Exercising;

Writing a journal;

Therapy;

Paying attention to negative thoughts that occur before or after strong emotions and accepting them;

Reframing a negative experience in a more positive light.

For some people the experience of certain emotions can seem too overwhelming, which can lead to a deep need to do something that will stop the intensity of these emotions immidiately, in other words use an unhealthy strategy for emotional regulation.

Unhealthy ways to regulate emotion may look like:

Abusing alcohol or other substances;

Suppressing emotions = not expressing emotions on your face or in words;

Self-harm;

Avoiding or withdrawing from difficult situations or social interactions;

Physical or verbal aggression towards others;

Rumination = replaying negative thoughts in your mind over and over again.

Usually it's not an emotion itself that is overwealming and cannot be tolerated by a person, but the interpretation of the situation that triggered the emotion and feeling associated with it. For example: your boss criticizes you at work, and your mind reacts to this situation with the thought like "I am not good enough", which makes you feel worthless and anxious.

Important fact is, that emotional regulation is not possible without emotional awareness. The first step to emotional awareness is acknowledging your emotions by noticing what you feel. Next step is to name this emotions. This can make you feel in control of what is happening. And the last step is to accept your emotions, which may also be the hardest one fore some people. Accepting your emotions means observing without any judgement.

I would like to emphasise, that emotional awareness and regulation is highly important, since it can make you experience more joy and fulfilment in your life.

Hope this post helped you learn something new about yourself or your closed ones!

[omgreally]

Look, Din Djarin/F!Reader smut oneshot

warnings/summary: tbobf spoilers, auish, yearning with a capital y, a healthy garnishing of mutual pining, touch starved!din, someone give this mando a hug and a happy ending, helmetless!din, outdoor sex, unprotected p in v sex, smut with a healthy dose of Feelings(tm)

Din talks in his sleep.

“Din?” 

It’s still strange to hear his name spoken outside of the covert. Even though he became an apostate long ago, even though he clings to his religion like a lowly creature to its shell, it is still strange. Especially hearing it spoken by you.

He can’t remember the name of the dingy little planet he picked you up on. He had to make room in the N-1. The second seat is a close fit, but you’ve made it work, somehow.

And now you’re leaning back against the sleek wing of the craft, flickering firelight from their makeshift camp throwing wavering gold-black shadows across the lines and curves of your body, and Din cannot look away.

He does manage to summon a semblance of verbal acknowledgment, though. “Huh?” Not very eloquent, but at least his voice is present. More or less. He has to clear it as you raise your eyebrows at him, and a smirk curls at your mouth.

“I said, do you want to sleep in the ship, or out here?” You gesture to the clearing they landed in to camp for the night before resuming tracking their bounty in the morning. You have proven yourself surprisingly…useful, and he can’t help but admire your strength, your tenacity. But from afar. 

He doesn’t know how to do anything else.

“It’ll be cramped in the ship,” he says. Peli did wonders with her, but she didn’t manage to wrangle a recline function on the seats. “We’ll sleep out here.” 

“Okay. Want me to take first watch?” You’re businesslike as you turn and lean over the ship to reach for the cargo compartment. The stretch of your body laid out before him makes Din’s mouth go dry, and he swallows past a raw lump in his throat.

It is not like him, this childish craving, but he just can’t shake it. It’s in the shadow of your smile, the glimmer of your eyes, the pitch of your laugh, and it’s driving him to frenzy in the back of his mind by degrees. He’s not sure how much longer he can take it.

He doesn’t want to sit awake and watch you sleep. It will be like torture. So he agrees to the first watch, and you set up a spare cloak on the ground and your pack rolled up between your back and a nearby tree as you settle in and stare into the darkness beyond the dying fire.

Din settles on his back, letting the weight of exhaustion - both physical and not - drag his eyelids closed. He usually sleeps quite lightly - one who works alone has little choice but to remain as alert as possible at all times - but with you, he’s learned to let his guard down a little.

Maybe that was a mistake.

Din dreams. He dreams of soft hands and long hair and warm words. He dreams of you. Of you gasping beneath him, calling his name. But in your tone is an urgency he can’t rectify, until he realizes it’s you, trying to wake him and shaking him vigorously by the shoulder.

Din is instantly awake - sitting up, despite the protest of his back, which is happening with more frequency lately - reaching for his blaster. You soothe him with a shake of your head, urging him back down to sit. 

“No, Din, it’s okay,” you reassure him, your hands on his wrists. Slowly, he lowers the blaster back into its holster, and you sit back on your haunches, relieved. “I’m - I’m sorry I woke you.”

“What is it?” he asks, trying not to sound annoyed, and landing somewhere in between groggy and grumpy. You don’t seem to take offence. In fact, you look…slightly embarrassed?

“You, uh, I think you were having a dream,” you begin, looking away from the inscrutability of his visor, “You were, um…talking. In your sleep.”

‘In my sleep?” Now that’s something he’s never been accused of. Not even during long recons on a mark, on the rare occasion he had to enlist another’s aide. They were usually fellow bounty hunters, and if anyone was going to give him shit for talking in his sleep, it would be them.

“What was I saying?” Din asks, not bothering to hide his incredulity. You duck your head, trying to hide a blush, but the red glow of the fading embers in the campfire casts your whole face in crimson.

“My name, I think. And, uh, another word.” You look upward, trying to recall. Trying not to meet the eyes behind the dark visor before you. “‘Mesh’la’, I think it was. I guess that’s Mando’a?” You’re babbling, trying to hide your nervousness. On Mando - on Din - it’s never worked.

He has been off around you lately, oddly quiet, oddly protective. Compared to when you first met when he barely tolerated having you around - you like to think you earned his respect over the months. But now he is back to his stony-silenced self, and you don’t know what you did wrong.

If anything, you thought you were getting closer, getting to know him. And you were surprised to find you liked him. Probably more than you should, considering you’ve never really seen more than the bottom half of his face.

The pause between you stretches into a discomfort you can’t stand. You look at Din and he’s just…staring at you. His hand is nowhere near his blaster now, at least.

“Beautiful,” he says, and the sudden rawness of his filtered voice strikes you. It’s like biting into ice, and it wakes your drowsy mind up at once. “It means beautiful.”

“Oh,” you manage.You search for your composure, or some clever words, and settle on: “Well. Sounds like a nice dream you were having.” 

“I dreamt I…showed you my face,” Din admits, and you feel your heart skip a beat, looking away reflexively, but his next words draw you back to him like a magnet: “But it didn’t matter. Because I couldn’t take my eyes off yours.”

You stare at the Mandalorian, and he stares at you. And where you might have expected such a fragile moment to break, to dissolve, this one does not. It stretches on, and in the gossamer-thin bubble of possibility, you reach out and settle your hands on either side of his helm.

He thumbs the release for you, and it lifts with surprising ease. You hold your breath as the helm comes away, and Din lets out his.

It’s too easy to discard a Creed, a Way that Din has lived by all his life, to look upon the people that he loves.

He takes the weight of the Beskar helm from you and sets it aside on the mossy ground, careful and almost reverent. That touch is extended to you as his gloved fingers meet the side of your cheek - as you stare into his eyes.

Dark, under turbulent brows and an unruly mess of helmet-hair, an aquiline nose and nervous lips pressed tight together against his teeth. About two-days worth of beard on his broad jaw - two days since their last stay in civilization in separate rooms - and a look in those dark eyes like he’s terrified.

“Mesh’la,” you murmur, probably butchering the pronunciation but Din doesn’t care - his expression crumples and for a moment you’re worried he’s going to cry and then his lips are crashing into yours.

He swallows your desperate gasp, drinks in the taste of your mouth as if it was made for him. You groan at the firm sweep of his tongue, meeting it with yours, uncoordinated in a way you never are but Din compensates, like he always does. His hands are on your hips and before you register the movement he’s hauling you into his lap, and the cloak spread beneath him bunches beneath your knees as you wrap your legs around his waist. 

The maskless Mandalorian breaks from your kiss to warn, “Careful - charges on my belt -”

You hush him with a finger against his lips and he goes still and stiff, which you can feel quite solidly now you’re seated in his lap. “Shh,” you smirk, “I got it.” And you free him of his belt with deft flicks of your fingers, and he discovers another talent of yours to be grateful for. 

You lay aside his weapons and holster - carefully; you’re not an idiot - but Din gets impatient; he rolls you like a blurrg. Inelegant, but there’s really no other way to describe it. 

One moment you’re astride him, and the next, on your back.

His grin, sharp and infectious and somehow predatory, fills your vision. Then that surprisingly clever mouth of his is at your neck, sucking bruises into your pulse as if he’s hungry for the heat in your blood.

Your boots go somewhere, your pants another. You don’t remember whose hands fumble with whose clothes; you just know relief and fullness as the head of Din’s cock finds your greedy, weeping entrance and pushes in.

He fills you with a groan, and you ache for him; he’s practically trembling as he seats himself in you, pawing at your hips, your thighs like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. You touch his face with yours - gentle fingertips on his clenched jaw brings him back to himself, and he forces himself to focus as he looks at you.

Then - oh, Maker, and then - Din starts to move.

You’re not sure if it’s just that he’s fucking big or it’s been so fucking long but he feels like he could split you open with little effort. But he’s surprisingly gentle with you, the drag of his length catching on your shiver, and you bite down on your moan as he presses back in.

“Wanted to do this for so long,” Din mutters, feverish, almost to himself - his lips ghost yours and you drink in the heat of his breath. 

“Yes,” you whisper in return, not sure what you’re affirming, but knowing only that it is wonderful. The ground is hard and unforgiving beneath you and you’re sure you’re going to have moss up your ass later, but it is wonderful.

Moss is the last thing you’re thinking about when he reaches between you, seating a thumb at the apex of your join, finding the hood of your clit with pinpoint determination. 

You know you should still be on alert, but you’re deafened by the nerve-wrenching cataclysm of your orgasm. It takes you by surprise, and you clench down on Din’s cock with a strangled gasp, one he echoes with a heavy grunt - and a moment later he is holding deep and throbbing inside you, filling you with pulses of his come.

Coming down from your orgasm feels like waking up. Your legs loosen and he eases out of you - rolling heavily onto his side - and you lie there feeling…wonderful. 

Nothing that feels like this could possibly be a mistake.

Besides, all your fears are assuaged when Din Djarin takes your chin, turns your head towards him and kisses them away. “Next time, keep your eyes open,” he tells you, and his hand on you makes you gasp anew - “I want to watch you.”

And, of course, you let him.

[buckybarnesowl]

Friends, for now - Part 2

Pairings: Bucky x fem!reader (+ ex!quentin beck)

Summary: You and Bucky continue exploring your new “friendship” while you work on yourself. A random message from the freshman on the team, Peter Parker, challenges that work and Quentin resurfaces in the worst way yet.

Word count: 4.6 K

Warnings: reference to verbally abusive ex-boyfriend; misogyny; toxic masculinity; reference to violent hazing; reference to childhood abandonment and divorce; panic attack; first kiss

A/n: I had two requests to write a follow-up... now it's a three-part mini-series. I don't know why this idea with Peter came in my head, but I couldn't get it out so here we go: bucky x reader feat. irondad and spiderson lol. I promise a happy ending with reader and Bucky finally coming together.

To everyone who reads and comments and reblogs: I cannot thank you enough. Means the world to know you’re enjoying these as much as I enjoy writing them.

Part 1 // Part 3 // Masterlist

Despite the primal urge that coursed through your body every time you were near him, you and Bucky took things slow for the next few months. Breaking up with Quentin had forced you to acknowledge a lot of doors to your past that had remained under lock and key for years. It was time. You were tired of seeking approval from men to feel valid. Besides, it’s not like any of them would ever satiate the need that had been there since you were little. The paternal validation was something that you should have received then, but never got. And no amount of it now would ever change that. It was time to let it go.

So you and Bucky continued on being whatever it was you were. Friends. Right, friends.

You had both agreed to not discuss taking things further until the team’s season had finished.

The obvious reason to wait was purely so that Quentin wouldn’t be around anymore. The off season coincided with summer semester, which he always took off to go back home and live off his parents and their pool. Live his best privileged white boy life.

Though more importantly, you needed the time to sort through everything that had happened with your shitty ex. It wasn’t so much that you needed to get over him—your heart hadn’t been in it for months, if ever. It was that you needed to know why you had stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for so long. And more than anything, you desperately wanted to know that you were okay on your own two feet before rushing into the arms of the first man that showed signs of interest.

Though Bucky’s arms sure felt nice.

When you shared your reasoning with Bucky, he got it. Fully and completely. He assured you there was no rush, that he wasn’t going anywhere and wasn’t looking anywhere else either. He didn’t want you to feel any pressure, and made sure you knew you didn’t owe him anything. Even if your relationship never went beyond friends. He meant it and he made sure you believed him. It was nice to not feel pressure for once—though you were dead set on levelling up from friends as soon as you felt ready.

The week after that first sleepover, you had gone to the Student Service Centre and got set up with one of the graduate student therapists from the School of Psychology on campus. Weekly sessions. Free. It felt like a start to something. A spark that coursed through your entire being. You were taking control. Making choices based on what you wanted, not on what you thought others wanted. It was terrifying and liberating all at the same time.

Two months later and you were starting to feel lighter. More in control of your thoughts. You learned to explore your emotions, name them, find out where they were coming from, what they were trying to tell you. You learned to just be with them instead of running away, hiding, covering them up. You were slowly working through your childhood and it was both excruciating and healing. You were gaining a new understanding of yourself. A compassion that helped you release the shame of staying with a guy like Quentin Beck. A compassion that gave yourself permission to follow your heart when it came to James Buchanan Barnes.

Albeit for different reasons, Bucky understood what it was like to grow up without a father. The grief of losing his own was still an ache in his chest some days. But he could only imagine the depth of sorrow you had to wade through knowing that your father wasn’t taken from you—that he left you, of his own volition. Bucky was in awe of your strength. Your courage to keep trudging through it all so that you could finally heal. Every time he learned something new about you, his heart beat just a little faster. The smoulder in his chest flickered a few degrees warmer. You were amazing. Everything about you was amazing.

“Y’know seasons over in two weeks,” Bucky stated as you found yourselves in a familiar position in his bed after watching a movie together one Saturday morning. His fingers haphazardly tracing shapes on your back. Your head on his chest, playing with his father’s namesake saint pendant around his neck.

George Barnes had been given the Saint George medallion as a child. It was passed on to Bucky after George died in a car accident when Bucky was 13 years old. He shared the story with you late one night. Tears had formed around his eyes as he told you and it nearly broke your heart.

You rubbed your thumb over the silver pendant, feeling the lines of the valiant warrior on his steed. Like a knight in shining armour.

“Mmmm,” you acknowledge softly.

“‘Was hopin' after that I could take you out.”

You pulled yourself out from his arm and propped your head up on one elbow.

“James Buchanan Barnes. Are you asking me out on a date?” Your heart was racing and your stomach fluttered at the soft grin that was spreading across his stubble covered cheeks. Your ears and face suddenly felt like they were burning.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing. Whaddya say, sweetheart? Will you let me take you out? For real?”

The way Bucky tilted his head as he tried to read your expression, a slight ripple of worry at the shores of his ocean blue eyes, might have been the most adorable thing you had ever seen.

“I was wondering when you’d finally ask,” you breathed out, leaning into his chest. “Yes,” you whispered as you closed the gap between you, “one hundred times, yes.” Then you lowered your mouth onto his, your lips connecting for the first time

Bucky had pressed his lips to your forehead, into your hair, your palms, your cheeks. But never your lips. It was as if it was an unstated rule. An intimacy he was holding out for until you gave him permission. When you finally kissed him then, he took the permission and ran with it. His breath hitched at the sudden connection, but only for a millisecond as he slowed everything down in his mind. He let his lips feel yours, softly sucking your supple edges, memorizing every dip and line as they brushed against his. Until finally he broke away, chest heaving as he let out a shuddering breath.

“Jesus fucking Christ, doll.” Bucky could lose himself in your lips for eternity and he’d still wander around hopelessly, wanting more.

Your brows furrowed slightly, worried that you’d come on too strong. “W-was that too much?”

Bucky’s heart ached at your question. “No, sweetheart. C’mere,” he assured, pulling you back down to his chest. “You’re never too much. Ever.”

“Right,” you sighed. “Sorry, still working on that part with my therapist,” you chuckled.

“No need to apologize. So proud of you,” he whispered, pressing his lips into the top of your head, his arms fully wrapped around you. It was a familiar gesture that Bucky was more than happy to offer when he sensed you needed that extra bit of assurance. You remained in his arms, allowing yourself the comfort, until your stomach had other ideas.

“I think it’s time for lunch,” you giggled, slightly embarrassed by the grumbling from your belly.

“I could definitely eat,” Bucky agreed.

You reluctantly pried yourself from Bucky’s arms to leave the warmth of his bed. He studied you with a look of awe in his eyes as you stretched your arms above your head. Gods, you were beautiful. Every edge, every feature. How had he not seen it before?

“Quit staring, Barnes,” you quipped playfully when you turned around and saw the glazed look in his eyes.

A blush bloomed across the apples of his cheeks, though accompanied by a grin that made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“You love it.”

“Yeah, I do,” you admitted.

You reached out your hand to pull him out of bed. He accepted and you walked out of his room, hands still clasped.

“They’re alive!” Steve exclaimed as you entered the common space of the shared dorm.

“Ha-ha, very funny,” you replied.

“You know I’m just teasin’ ya. There’s stuff for sandwiches if you’re both hungry,” he offered, already half-way through his plate.

“You’re the best, Stevie,” you and Bucky said in unison.

“I know,” he gleaned.

You made yourself and Bucky one each, already knowing how he liked his fixings: lettuce, pickle, mustard, no mayo.

“How’s it going, Y/n? I feel like I haven’t seen you the past few weeks,” Steve asked once you both sat down.

“Good. Really good, actually,” you grinned after swallowing a bite. “Been making a lot of progress with my therapist. I think I might go down to seeing them every two weeks.”

“That’s great. I’m really proud of you.”

Bucky nodded, gazing at you with a look of admiration that made Steve’s heart melt.

“Thanks, Stevie. Also, your pal here finally asked me out on a real date.”

Bucky nearly choked on his sandwich, breaking his gaze from you to suddenly inspect his plate.

“That’s… that’s fucking awesome,” Steve replied, chuckling at his friend’s embarrassment. “Man, I’m so happy for you two. You know, I thought it’d be weird seeing my two best friends coming together. But honestly? Nothing has made me happier.”

“What about punching Beck?” Bucky jabbed.

“Hey now. Not my finest moment,” Steve returned, blushing sheepishly.

“That made me pretty happy,” you chimed in.

“Yeah, me too,” Bucky chortled.

“Except I’m the team captain. I’m not supposed to lose my cool like that,” Steve said seriously. “I got written up, and with good reason.”

“Relax, you know I was just messin’ with ya,” Bucky offered his friend a smile of assurance. “Anyways, means a lot, your approval. Of this,” he added, raising your and his clasped hands.

Steve’s remorse melted into another smile, and you swore you saw a wetness form at the corners of his eyes.

“Aw, Stevie, you’re such a sap.” You unclasped your hand from Bucky’s and walked around the table to give him a big hug.

“Seeing you both happy is just… I’m just really happy for you, okay?”

“I love you, brother.”

“Love you too, sis.” He cleared his throat, the signal that he’d had enough of your affection. You chuckled as you released him.

“Poor Stevie. You gotta loosen up, man. Let yourself go sometimes,” Bucky added.

“I… you just worry about yourself, Buck. And these next two weeks of the season. Don’t want you all distracted over your girl,” he said sternly, but shot you a wink.

“Aye aye, cap,” he mock saluted with a chuckle. “Gods, you’re such a punk.”

“Only to you, jerk.”

You laughed at their antics as you leaned back into your chair. Your eyes flitted back and forth between the man you considered family and the man you started falling for from that first night when you went from enemies to friends to… something more. You felt like the Grinch on Christmas morning, your heart swelling three times its normal size witnessing the special bond the two most important men in your life.

Three sequential buzzes from your phone in your pocket snapped you out of your moment of gratitude. Your face scrunched in confusion at the message.

Unknown: Hey Y/n. Sorry to bother you. It’s Peter Parker. I got your number from Tony.

Unknown: If it’s not too much trouble, I was hoping I could ask you something personal. About Quentin. Sorry if it’s too soon, or if you don’t feel comfortable. I totally understand. Let me know. Thanks.

Unknown: Ps: please don’t tell Bucky or Steve.

“Everything alright?” Bucky asked, forehead laced with concern.

“Y-yeah, all good. Just a… a deadline I forgot about that I had set a reminder for.” Smooth, Y/n. Gods, you hated lying to people you cared about. “I should get going. Got work to do now,” you groaned awkwardly, waving your phone for emphasis.

“You sure?” Stevie pressed. He could always tell when you were lying.

“Yes,” you pressed back with a please don’t ask again look.

Bucky sighed, catching on to your silent conversation. He knew there some things you and Steve would share that he could never insert himself into. “Promise you’ll call us if you need us, okay?”

“Of course. Always,” you assured, not lying this time.

It seemed to satisfy the two best friends. Bucky got up to pull you into a hug, pressing a soft kiss into your temple before reluctantly letting you go.

“Are we still on for dinner tonight?” You three had made plans to have a real sit-down, home-cooked meal together. The first one since you and Bucky had started spending time together. “I mean, we can rain check. But maybe it could be a good time for you to take a break?” Bucky suggested, a hopeful tone in his warm voice.

Steve flashed his puppy eyes at you, the ones he knew were impossible for you to ignore.

“Fine, you guys win,” you sighed with a resigned chuckle.

“Great. I’ll text you when we’re an hour out.”

“Sounds good,” you agreed, placing a soft peck on his cheek.

The door closed behind you and you immediately sent Peter a text back telling him you were free and open to talking.

As you walked back to your dorm, you made plans to head over to his and Tony’s dorm in two hours. Enough time for you shower and run through a yoga practice to centre yourself. You may have become more grounded about Quentin over the past few months, but it still triggered difficult emotions. Whatever Peter wanted to talk to you about, it sounded serious. You wanted to make sure you could be as stable and supportive as possible. You hoped he was ok, but your gut was telling you not to get your hopes up.

—

“Stop worrying, kid. She agreed to come. You’re not forcing anyone.”

Tony did his best to ease the anxiety that Peter was emitting in waves. His old roommate Bruce had graduated last term. Steve always tried to pair new freshman members of the team with older players so Tony had no choice but to agree. Turns out it was one of the best decisions he had ever been forced to make. Peter was an all around STEM nerd just like him. They got along swimmingly, and Tony discovered how much he enjoyed playing the mentor role.

“I just…” Peter sighed for the umpteenth time.

“I know. Remember, you can change your mind. At any time. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I know, Tony.” He said quietly, his brown curls shading his eyes as he looked down at his fidgeting hands.

“But you also know every single person on the team is going to believe you. If you decide you want to, you know, report it—”

“I know. I just, I don’t know. You know?”

“Yeah, kid. I do know.”

Tony rubbed his hands over his face. Gods, he was trying to stay calm for Peter but inside he was a raging, out of control forest fire ready to destroy everything in his path. So long as everything included Quentin fucking Brock. All he wanted to do was find that piece of shit and beat the life out of him. But it wasn’t his fight. It was up to the kid, and he wouldn’t pressure him. He promised Peter and he wasn’t about to break that promise.

A knock on the door pulled them both out of their thoughts.

“You ready?” Tony asked, giving him a final chance to change his mind.

Peter took a deep breath. Tony could see him running all of the scenarios over in his head for the millionth time. But as soon as he exhaled and his eyes fluttered shut, he knew the kid had landed on the same conclusion.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Tony nodded and got up to let you in.

“Oh! Hey, Tony. I, uh—”

“You thought it was just going to be Peter?”

You laughed nervously. “Yeah, actually.”

“Come on in. Welcome to our pad. Looks just like all the other shithole pads on campus. Can I get you something? I’ve just made a pot of coffee and I think we’ve got tea, a few cans of random soda—”

“Just water is fine, thanks.”

You took in your surroundings quickly while you removed your shoes and coat. The dorm was more or less the same setup as Bucky and Steve’s. It was also immaculate just like theirs. Thank gods the men in your life weren’t slobs.

“Hey, Peter,” you said warmly as you padded your way over to where he was sitting on the couch, sitting yourself in the armchair next to him.

“H-hey, Y/n,” Peter stuttered, barely making eye contact with you.

You noted his posture: stiff, shoulders up, his thumb rubbing constant circles on the back of his ever reddening hand. I wonder how long he’s been doing that for, you thought. It made you recall Quentin saying how the new freshmen on the team were such pussies. Your heart nearly broke seeing how nervous Peter was in front of you. You could only imagine how shitty Quentin must have made him feel. Gods, he was such a stereotypical bully. Your stomach clenched as your brain started down a path you didn’t want to go.

“Here you are, Y/n. And one for you too, Pete.”

Tony set down the glasses of water, and returned quickly with a coffee for himself before resuming his position next to Peter on their couch.

“Th-thanks,” Peter managed.

“Yeah, thanks,” you added with a sympathetic smile.

Tony silently urged you to start, motioning with his eyes towards Peter.

You nodded and quickly found your words. “I’m just going to come out and say that I’m really okay to talk about Quentin. Anything you want to ask. I’ve been going to therapy and I can guarantee you there’s nothing you could ask that my therapist hasn’t already,” you quipped, hoping to lighten the mood.

Tony nearly spat his coffee out and you garnered a chuckle from Peter. Immediately his shoulders went down by a few inches. Success.

“I uh, thanks, for coming,” he said, still meek but making eye contact this time. “I, just… I need to know… If Quentin ever… did he ever mention anything about… ugh, this is harder than I thought it would be,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and taking some deep breaths.

“Take your time kid, we’re not in any rush, are we Y/n?”

“Nope, I’ve got nowhere to be. In fact, I’m going to tell Stevie and Bucky to eat dinner without me tonight.”

“No! Y/n, please don’t cancel your plans for me! Shit, this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have asked you to come. I shouldn’t have told you any of this, Tony. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine. Everything is fine.” Peter’s chest started heaving as if he was losing air. His breaths became shorter and louder.

You knew that feeling all too well. When the walls started closing and everything got darker. You'd visited that place on more than a few occasions during these past few months.

“Pete, stay with me buddy,” Tony ordered, taking one of Peter’s hands and placing it on his own chest. “Breathe with me, kid. In-two-three-four... out-two-three-four-five-six.”

Tony did that a few more times while you sent Bucky and Steve a joint apology text, explaining you wouldn’t be able to take a break after all and to eat without you. Then you put your phone on do not disturb before placing it face down on the coffee table.

“Peter, please. I’m here because I want to help in whatever way you need. I know we haven't known each other for that long, but i'll never forget how you helped me bring my stuff home that night at the bar. If it wasn’t for you, I may have lost my favourite jacket. Let me repay the favour, ‘kay?”

For better or worse, your go-to tactic in tense situations was always humour. It seemed to work. Peter’s breathing steadied and he nodded shakily. After drinking a bit more water he leaned back into the couch.

“I’m s-sorry. It’s, this is just…”

“No need to apologize. I’ve had plenty of breakdowns in my life, in front of complete strangers. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

“And you know me, kid. Happens to the best of us, right?”

Peter chuckled softly. “Th-thanks.”

“We meant it. Please just take as much time as you need. And if we end up needing to take a break or I come back another time, that’s fine too,” you encouraged.

“No, no,” the freshman said softly. “I need to do this.”

Though it wasn’t clear if he was saying that as a reply to you or as a pep talk for himself.

After a few more deep breaths he tried again. “What I was trying to, I mean, what I wanted to ask you was…” he cleared his throat, then one final deep breath before ripping the bandaid off. “Did Quentin ever talk about hazing the freshmen on the team?”

His voice was so timid, so scared. As if someone would suddenly manifest out of thin air to punish him for even asking the question.

You wracked your brain, thinking back to whether or not Quentin’s comments about the freshmen were ever part of a longer conversation. He rarely told you anything. Except when he was—shit.

“Y-yeah. Actually, yeah, Peter, I do remember something.” Fuck. How could you have forgotten that? “It was… must have been around fall of last year.” You paused, wanting to make sure you had all the details straight, fighting the sudden wave of nausea you were feeling as the memory came flooding back and your brain filled the gaps of what Peter was getting at.

The junior defenseman was shaking now. Tony noticed and placed a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“Do you… do you want me to tell you what I remember?”

“Please,” he rasped.

“He showed up at my dorm drunk one night. He was going off about the freshmen. How they were so weak now. That they couldn’t take a joke. I didn’t understand and asked him what he was talking about. He was washing his hands in the kitchen sink and I noticed some blood, but I knew better than to ask for too many details. He started rambling about tradition and how when he joined the team he’d been paddled so hard he couldn’t sit for a week and how hilarious it was. How the freshmen now are too soft.” You paused again before placing a gentle hand on Peter’s knee. “I won’t repeat the actual words he used. Because I don’t think you need to hear them again.”

“No I don't,” Peter whispered, shuddering as tears started streaming down his face. Tony’s grounding hand turned into a comforting arm around his shoulder as the freshman

“I’m so fucking sorry, Peter. I should have asked him what he did, and to whom.” Your cheeks were shining with your own tears now.

“‘S not your fault,” he sniffed, wiping his eyes.

“No, but it’s ours, Pete.”

“Tony, we already talked about this,” he groaned angrily, pulling away from the comforting side hug.

“I know, and I’m gonna keep repeating myself. The entire team all knew Beck was a shithead from the beginning. We should have known he’d try to pull the same bullshit that used to get pulled on us. There’s a reason why Cap pushed for the no-tolerance policy on hazing. It’s barbaric and disgusting—”

“And it’s abuse,” you added matter-of-factly. Peter, can I ask you about it?”

He nodded.

“Was it paddling, like Quentin mentioned used to happen?”

Another nod.

“Did he make you, I mean, were you naked?”

A third nod.

“Fuck, Peter, that’s not just abuse. That’s sexual assault as well.”

A sob escaped from the freshman’s mouth, and Tony wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m sorry, Peter. I can be so abrupt sometimes. That wasn't fair of me. I just, I want you to know how seriously we’re taking this. And how none of this, not a single thing about this, is your fault. It’s all on him. All of it.”

“I kn-now,” he stuttered, “I know.”

“I’m so glad you reached out to me, you know that? It took a lot of courage and I’m just, I’m really fucking proud of you.”

You meant every word. You knew first hand the effect Quentin Beck could have on people—though nothing you experienced was as bad as what Peter was put through.

“See? Told you she’d be supportive,” Tony added, releasing Peter as he felt his hiccups ease.

“Yeah, yeah, you were right,” Peter chuckled with a sigh as he wiped his face with his sleeve. “So… so what do I do now?”

“What do you want to do, Pete?” Tony asked.

He thought about it for a few minutes. Everyone sat in silence, allowing the weight of it all to truly settle in.

“I… I don’t want him to get away with it,” he responded finally. His voice was still quiet, but there was a newfound strength in it.

“Then he won’t,” Tony affirmed.

“I’ll help in whatever way I can. I can provide a statement if you need. That prick deserves whatever he’s got coming.” You were riled up now.

Peter nodded, gratitude pouring from his eyes as he met your gaze. “Guess I need to tell Cap?” Peter questioned.

“Yeah, bud. But I’ll be there every step if you need me.”

“Me too. Steve’s like my older brother. He’s going to take care of you, Pete. I know he will.”

“The whole team will, if you let us.”

Pete sighed again, but this time with relief. He felt lighter somehow. “Thank you. Both of you. So much. I… I don’t know what else to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything more. At least not right now anyways,” Tony joked.

“Tony!” You chastised.

“What? Too soon?”

“Definitely too soon,” Peter chuckled. “But it’s fine. Wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

“You wound me, kid,” Tony said with mock emotional pain.

“If you like, I can broach the subject with Stevie. At least so you don’t have to repeat yourself all over again,” you offered.

Your desire to help Peter was almost overwhelming. You knew it wasn’t your fault, but deep down you felt at least partially responsible for not following your gut that night he came to your dorm.

“Thanks, really, but I need to do this. Though, uh, maybe there is one thing,”

“Anything,” you confirmed.

“You mentioned you were having dinner with him tonight?”

“Yeah, I was. But I cancelled.”

“Maybe you could, uh, un-cancel? And have him… come here instead? I just… I really want to get it over with now.”

“You sure, Pete? You don’t have to rush this on our account,” Tony reassured.

“I’m sure. I’m ready.”

“Whatever you need. I’ll text him right now.”

You unlocked your phone to send the message to Steve. A dozen unread texts between the both of them were waiting in your notifications. Expressing concern over you cancelling, asking if they could at least bring dinner to you, worrying that you weren’t responding.

Fuck. You should have expected that was coming. Well, they would both find out soon enough. You hoped Bucky wasn’t upset that you had lied once he learned the truth. You hated having to lie to him.

You pressed send on the message to Steve and the three of you waited in silence.

Part 3

[ghosts-and-glory]

I did have to google Draco in leather pants but it did make me appreciate how incredibly fucking funny this response is.

Regardless I like to spin Narinder around in my head for fun and am gonna use that as an excuse to deconstruct my favourite meow meow and relive my debate kid dreams.

I’m gonna go over all of these points one by one. I will state in the off chance this is /srs is that I don’t think any of these reads are explicitly wrong but my dear catboy can be hard to read.

Uh this is me adding to the start again now that I’m three hours in researching and writing this stupid post. I apologize for my absolute insanity. This has unfortunately stepped directly into my interests. Literally everything I write is about taking a absolutely monstrous person and attempting to redeem them and Narinder is an incredibly interesting and well written example of this archetype. I love a layered character and nothing gets me going like seeing a surface level reading of one no matter how ironic it may be.

I also wrote this in two major sittings and am not gonna super rigorously edit this. There are very likely errors and weird changes in writing styles.

Out of curiosity I checked, my wordcount is 3700.

Lets pick apart catboy.

Starting with Narinder’s feelings towards The Lamb.

First I gotta establish Narinder’s voice. Yes, he never explicitly says that he respects you but Narinder seems almost incapable of giving a genuine compliment especially without turning it into something about himself.

Here’s three examples of him giving a complement to The Lamb. From after defeating Amdusias and Shamura. He also complements The Lamb when you sacrifice Ratau but I’ll come back around to that.

I wanted to grab the entire quotes so it didn’t look like I was nitpicking.

"Very good, my vessel. It seems I chose well when I kept you from Death.”

First example, “very good,” is the complement, but immediately after he takes credit for this by calling you “my vessel” thereby claiming ownership over you. His vessel did well. And again “I chose well” doubled down and complemented himself.

“I admit, you have worn it (the red crown) almost as well as I could have myself.”

Again we see the complement layered in ego. “Almost as well as I” in other words you did well, but don’t forget I’m better. Also important to draw attention to is “I admit” this is a very explicit statement of his refusal to acknowledge the success of others.

"Your appetite for death is something I can admire, Vessel. But the Crown is mine, and none - NONE - are worthy. None other than I.”

Here he almost lays down a complement. “Your appetite for death is something I can admire” straight up, states his admiration. He seems to almost realize what he’s done and quickly pulls back into his ego, “But the crown is mine” “-none are worthy- None other than I.”

These are the three of the four ONLY times that Narinder ever says anything explicitly positive about someone else when he is a god. Thus establishing that the head ass cannot give out a compliment to save his life. The one time he gives you full credit for your actions he immediately pulls right back into his ego.

I cannot stress this enough. Someone who is characterized as cold as emotionally closed off as Narinder is WILL NOT suddenly undo this characteristic when they try and express a positive feeling.

Okay with that established we can look at his follower dialogue. Specifically these two examples from when you resurrect a follower and allow him to go on a mission.

“I cannot begrudge supplantation by one such as yourself.”

Literally saying I don’t resent you for taking my place. It’s not an explicit statement that he respects you but this is he weird fucked up little way of saying it. Of course he still lays it out in a way that’s self centred but we know from the way he has spoken that this is about as much verbal praise he is capable of giving.

The other one is a less explicit statement but I think it’s a interesting reflection of the final place of his character.

“…my thanks, Lamb.”

Being his last bit of unique dialogue, it’s an incredible ending to a character. He thanks you. That’s all he needed to say.

Narinder’s reaction to his defeat implying he would rather die.

I will preface this with the fact that my initial statement on this dialogue was messy and unrefined. I’m a wee bit dramatic and use hyperbole like it’s the main course of my sentences.

Let’s go over this dialogue in more depth

"You weak, snivelling, foul thing. You - wait! Waaaiiiiiit!"

I Starting with the line that I pulled my past conclusion from. I will admit that there are two separate readings of this and I can’t really point to one over another. The one I assumed was that his wailing was more in reference to being denied death. It could also be read as him not wanting to be reduced to a follower and realizing what your mercy really means for his future.

“-are you to be a vengeful false idol, or a merciful coward? No longer can you blame your vile acts on me."

Okay, looking at the way he presents your two options he seems to push more for the murder action. “-vengeful false idol,” is how he refers to murder. It’s not exactly a glowing review but his use of the word vengeful is important. We know that one of Narinder’s main goals in the game is revenge, we he already acts with revenge I can’t say that he’s using this word as an insult. The false idol part of this statement seems like he’s attempted to separate himself from you, again for is ego.

Then he presents the spare option by calling you a “merciful coward.” The flow of this full sentence puts more pressure on this option. He presents it as the “or” the second option. This is the bad option, the option of a coward.

“So. vou are no different to me after all. You have become as I am."

I know this is a deranged order to go over these quotes but last we got murder. Compared to his spare dialogue this is incredibly sombre. We know from already establishing how big his ego is that saying you are the same as him is almost a compliment. I do find this dialogue incredibly interesting tho, I can’t exactly explain why but I can’t help but read this as damning as well. It’s like he means it in both ways, the ultimate fuck you. You are just as I am, for better and worse.

Again in my initial statement I didn’t make it clear what dialogue I was specifically pulling my conclusion from.

But from what we know about Narinder his edgy ass cannot express emotion. He wraps his statements in layers of irony and selfishness. Unless it supports the persona he puts on or inflates his ego he WILL NOT right out state his feelings or needs, especially as a god.

Narinder would commit the same sins as his siblings.

I do mostly want to dismiss this point as unsubstantiated heresy but I’ll go over it quickly.

First it’s incredibly hard to prove the something doesn’t exist. Saying look at this example that shows this is true is easy. Saying with certainty that a claim does not exist on the other hand is a bit rough. Narinder never gives his thoughts on genocide but this dialogue is the best I could scavenge.

“-the world remade in my image. All will pledge themselves to the Cult. All will bow to my name.

To contextual this I gotta establish the facts that define a genocide. I do want to clarify that when we speak about media depictions of atrocities that often they are minimized. Genocide is a passing mention in cult of the lamb while real life genocide happens, it is happening. I refuse to reduce it to a character trait and I refuse to fictionalize it. Support Palestine. Do not be still in the face of horror.

I’m using the website Genocide Watch as a primary resource. Specifically the article The Ten Stages of Genocide by By Dr. Gregory H. Stanton. Education on genocide and history is important, I recommend looking into it on your own.

An important factor that defines a genocide is the “us versus them” mentality and the scapegoat. Looking at the cannon Genocide us is the old faith and it’s followers while them are the lamb, they are the group deemed the scapegoat. That’s the group that the old faith directs their malice on. Applying this to Narinder he does often define an us. Us is his followers and cult members. The closest he gets to a them are the bishops. He does strike out against his siblings but if we apply nuance to this move he is punching up. Killing four people is first degree murder or familicide. I cannot stress enough that genocide is a bit of a step up.

Let’s try and find a theoretical them then. I dug through his dialogue again and tried to find any substantial evidence that he would want to exterminate a them. The best I found are some vague mentions from when you defeat Heket and make deal with him.

“Your merciless crusade against the Old Faith warms my cold, unbeating heart."

“-strike fear into the hearts of our enemies.”

Both quotes here give us a kinda on our them. Yes, Narinder is good at not outright stating things and here he kinda implies that followers of the old faith deserve to suffer, maybe die? This does check out with that we know about Narinder, but, very important but, there is another group he outright states should die.

His own followers.

“Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power-“

This lands us in a impossible position. Okay, kill his followers, that’s the them, but now who’s the us? Narinder himself? That’s not a genocide that’s a death cult- oh wait.

I don’t even know where to go from here with this point and I feel like I’m pulling at straws to find any proof here. He doesn’t want to kill the followers of his siblings in any kinda way that defines a genocide, it’s more in a war kinda way. He also later contradicts the idea that he wants his followers to die in the Ratau dialogue but again I’m leaving that to be its own point.

I also really don’t wanna go into this more cause talking about fiction Genocide feels a bit gross. Support Palestine.

Lets talk about the crimes he does commit.

Gonna swing around back to the familicide and violence against his siblings. This of of course his worst action. His betrayal and abuse of his family which later turns into their deaths.

He does this. It is needlessly cruel and planned out. He does his best to excuse it, tries to validate that they deserved it. Leshy was weak, Heket spoke with malice, Kallamar was a coward, Shamura was a fool, they deserved to be punished. Narinder was punished for his hubris, why shouldn’t they? This is the absolute depth of his selfish delusional thinking.

But again, this is so incredibly important to his overall character. I’m not arguing that Narinder is a nice actually, I’m arguing that his character arc is incredibly well written. His arc is a very good example of taking a cruel character and making him likeable in the end in a way that doesn’t strip him of his character.

What he does to his siblings is his worst.

He brainwashed Aym and Baal

What a hot take. Let’s take this apart.

Aym and Baal are incredibly hard to characterize. They don’t have much dialogue to work off of and only three characters every speak on them, Shamura, Narinder and Forneus. The context of the game does present them as more Narinder’s first (and second) hand, less followers more apprentices, almost, but where’s the fun in assuming.

"Intended as keepers, perhaps, but they were young and in need of guidance. Must I be blamed for my influence?"

I wanna draw attention to the specific wording of keepers. Again, based on the way Narinder speaks its safe to assume he means the formal meaning of a keeper, meaning a caretaker. It is unclear if Narinder was told they where his keepers or if he assumed so, but either way he still speaks on them as such.

I do assume that the proposed idea of brainwashing was developed based on Narinder saying that “they where young and in need of guidance, must I be blamed for my influence.” This implies that Aym and Baal may have been sent as keepers but as they where young Narinder could not help but be an influence on them. I am gonna come back around to this thread so hold onto this for a moment. Moving on.

“Two kits I did have, true love found! And yet one lackadaisy summer day, my beautiful children were taken away... a gift, they said, for the one they loved most, the one that waits...”

“Ooh, kits... I remember, I remember... two kits in my claws... a gift.."

It is unclear and morally dubious how Aym and Baal came to Narinder. First we’re not 100% where Narinder is chained. The wiki lists it as the afterlife and in dialogue Narinder refers to it as “at the gates between this life and the next, trapped at the nexus of what was and what wasn't.” (When he asks you to send him on a mission.) We can travel there both by dying and being summoned there by him.

Either way the assumption is that Aym and Baal had to die. (As an aside I have my own speculation on the conditions required for a person to be presented to Narinder or to be resurrected but that’s off topic.) The horrific implications being that either Shamura themself killed the kits or that they where already dying. However you cannot blame the reaper for ushering the dead away from life.

I’m going to work off of the cult specific definition and characteristics of brainwashing. It’s hard to characterize where Aym and Baal sit here as, again they have little dialogue and due to the nature of brainwashing it’s hard to spot. First I wanna grab my brainwashing resources.

I’m using Encyclopedia Britannica’s page on brainwashing, cults, indoctrination, manipulation as my primary resourse.

Again I kinda wanna apply a layer of irony to how literally I apply real life tragedy to this game that obviously uses cults in a comedic manner. I wanna focus in on the characteristics displayed by victims of brainwashing and the techniques used in brainwashing by an abuser.

Looking at the elements used in brainwashing the only one I can say off the bat that is present is isolation, obviously. But with that let’s grab all of Aym and Baal’s dialogue.

What is clear from their dialogue is their obedience to Narinder. They call him master while his keepers and still when you meet them later when adventuring. And physically we do see them by Narinder’s side the entire main game and they fight the Lamb first. But if we add some nuance and look at their role as keepers or my own theory of being apprentices both actions of obedience make sense still for those roles. On the same note they also don’t display traits you would expect for someone fully under Narinder’s control. They speak to the Lamb out of turn and attack without prompting from Narinder.

Other characteristics are hard to imply. With torture I do want to pass it off an unlikely as based on the way Narinder tries to manipulate the Lamb it’s only verbal and he cannot attack while chained and I don’t see that changing with the keepers. Traits like sleep, water and food deprivation can’t be applied for various reasons (mostly the being dead one) and we don’t know anything about Narinder and the keeper’s interactions in the past so I’ll have to disregard other traits like suggestion.

Baal: "It's you. Usurper of the Red Crown. The one who freed us."

Aym: "Ha! You are nothing compared to our Master. We have not been in this world long, but already I can tell you are weak. You lack discipline. Our Master wielded Death with precision and control. You allow chaos to reign."

Baal: "What my brother means to say is thank you."

Moving onto groupthink I can pretty comfortably say that this is not a present characteristic of Aym and Baal. In their limited dialogue we can easily characterize Aym as more outwardly defensive of Narinder but Baal is more reserved and even contradicts Aym and is able to speak freely of Narinder.

Looping back around to the way Narinder speaks on his influence on Aym and Baal. Again we know how Narinder speaks, he cannot give honest compliments and dodges affection like it’s a professional sport. With the way he will outright tell the Lamb to manipulate followers and then uses the words “guidance” and “influence” about Aym and Baal, he has to be avoiding admitting affection to the keepers. He does follow that up with “Do what you wish, scornful God. I care not for them.” But again does Forneus not also allow her kits to do as they wish?

My own reading of Narinder’s relation to Aym and Baal is that of mentorship but it could also be read as parental. Just brainwashed is a big stretch.

His feelings on the death of Ratau

This is like another example of like, yeah, wow, an evil character does evil? Who could’ve possibly foreseen this? Sarcasm aside I do see his comments on this being a lesser evil.

First I do have to ask why, if Narinder held strong unrest against his former vessel, did he not have him struck down? The main reason I can see is that Ratau is still devoted to the red crown, most clearly seen by the statue at the lonely shack which generates devotion.

Second, Ratau’s death isn’t on his hands, it’s on yours. I find his pride here is from The Lamb’s actions not the death of Ratau. You killed your mentor, he describes your actions as “treacherous opportunism” and says “A great Vessel takes their master's will as their own.” Based on his later dialogue this is likely more foreshadowing the Lamb becoming as Narinder is. Narinder tried to kill his siblings, and you did kill your mentor. “You have become as I am."

I’m gonna tangent quickly cause there’s a line here that is incredibly interesting.

"He renounced his position after striking a bargain that resulted in the sacrifice of a Follower. He was weak."

Incredibly interesting the way he condemns Ratau’s sacrifice of a follower. Narinder directly contradicts himself. It is implied that the follower was lost to another being that did not benefit Narinder, but the Lamb also sacrifices followers to the Fox and Midas. Just something to chew on.

Narinder killing the Lamb

I’ll be honest I’m too lazy to go over this in any detail. There’s no dialogue to work on, I didn’t take this option in my own play through and I don’t wanna dig for a clip of it to check the claim that Narinder laughs during it. It’s not mentioned if he does in the wiki description but I’ll take it was a grain of salt. Also with Narinder killing his most devoted follower, the Lamb can do that too, you can murder your fave followers.

Why do we “babygirl” Narinder and other evil characters?

This is kinda the last bit I’m gonna get into before I cap this off. Again I do read this reply as sarcastic as I explicitly call Narinder both a Tumbly sexler man and my “meow meow” and based on my google “Draco in leather pants” is a close relative to the tumbly sexler man. It is incredibly funny for me to say “I babygirl Narinder” only to get a reply that’s like “I don’t think you babygirl him on purpose.” But I wanna talk about why this happens and why it happened to specifically Narinder.

When people complain about the fandom interpretation of Narinder I think they forget the tone of cult of the lamb. The closest thing I could think to call it would be a dark comedy kinda energy.

The game has very dark themes going on. Mentions of real horrible things like genocide, cults and religious abuse. But also just like look at the game, it’s visual style is so cute and non threatening, the bird characters have two mouths to commit to the bit. If you look at the way it depicts cults it’s very surface level, it’s more focused on being a satire on the common satanic media kinda look of a cult. Visually it bathes in its aesthetics, taking names from books like The Lessee Key of Solomon, uses villainous depictions of symbols like the pentagram or old Hebrew script, disregarding its nuanced origins.

And then they go onto do the funniest thing ever. The other bishop’s? Gross little freaks, based on commonly disliked animals, worm, frog, squid and spider. And then- and then they make the god of death, who they characterize and manipulative and evil, they make him a catboy. You cannot tell me they did not know what they where doing.

Why have I shot Narinder with the babygirl beam? CAUSE THE GAME DID IT FIRST!

I’m gonna call the god of death my little meow meow and point out his status as a Tumblr sexy man cause he’s a little guy and I wanna give him head scritches. But I’m also gonna call him a layered, fucked up and an incredibly interesting character in the same breath.

Gonna be honest, no idea what that last asker was talking about when they said Narinder deserved purgatory more. The guy is messed up, don't get me wrong, but the sheep genocide was completely out of his control. There isn't even any evidence that he got locked up for anything other than inventing a way to revive followers!

Narinder is much more palatable than the bishops and the fandom tends to forget that making him pissy/angry all the time is actually pretty ooc (ESPECIALLY considering the time it took between updates). He liked you as a god, he was mad for a while as a follower, AND THEN HE SAID HE RESPECTED YOU AS A GOD BEFORE YOU EVEN FULLY FINISHED HIS QUEST LINE!

Tldr; Narinder isn't as bad as the bishops, torture is cringe unless it's character building :)

That cat spent a thousand years being punished, let him rest. He’s been punished for his betrayal, a thousand years of it. During the game his crime is trying to escape a prison that he would never be allowed out of. He’s given no opportunity to reform, no time to rest and no end in sight.

I do enjoy it when follower Narinder is a bitch, I just want him to be mean to me is that too much to ask?

I’m a chronic adhd rambler and I hate scrolling by long posts. More thoughts on Narinder under the cut.

I do think this bit of dialogue is telling.

If you resurrect he seems to imply that resurrection is what started him towards his betrayal. He points out specifically that that there are no other gods to stop you from playing with life and death, this action makes him see himself in The Lamb. His reaction to the funeral is more reserved. Maybe he’s disappointed, maybe he feels some level of relief that you wouldn’t repeat his actions, maybe a bit of both.

And there’s his dialogue after his defeat.

I was originally gonna say something about his murder dialogue but I got distracted by how fucked up he is. Narinder, baby, I know you’re the god of death but begging to die is not normal.

But yeah the point that he seems to respect the Lamb’s godhood kinda supports my game theory that the Lamb is more death than Narinder. At the end of his godhood Nari was corrupt, driven by revenge and power. Depending on your actions as the Lamb you are now either walking the same corrupt path as he did, respecting the natural order of life and granting rest, or a bit of both.

I do think its easiest to love Narinder out of all of the npcs in the game. Yeah okay he’s evil in that good tumbly sexler man kinda way but he’s also the character with the most content. He has the most dialogue, you meet with him the most, he’s got the hardest boss battle with unique mechanics. I get why he’s the fan favourite and why people like Narilamb, what gayer than being character foils? Nothing.

He’s my little meow meow and I’m mean to him cause I love him. Mwah.