#but you can live your life content with the knowledge that i am bettering myself when it comes to weird niche fields of history

[ask-the-pioneer]

Out of curiosity why do you bow before eating?

"It's a sign of respect."

"When I kill to eat, I know I am taking a life. I do it out of necessity. The creature's life moves to me so that I can survive and prosper. With this gesture, I pay tribute to its sacrifice."

"The bow is also to acknowledge the work of a person who brought the food, to feed me and the others. You're not pressured to do that, but even if the meal isn't to your liking, you would still recognize the effort. Our colony was small, with Hunter as the only adult, so any food brought back was celebrated."

"In my later cycles, the ability to craft explosive spears became incredibly useful for hunting and self-defense. I had a natural advantage, but it was to be exercised with caution."

"Truth is, I can do a lot of damage with my «powers». It's a big, alienating responsibility. And it was an issue in my younger cycles when I couldn't control it well - sometimes people around me would get hurt, but despite that, I was shown kindness and given guidance by my mentor. My adoptive family did not treat me like a freak, and it mattered a lot to me. It still does."

"I feel no need for bloodlust. I am content with my life… for the most part. Whatever grievances I may have, I know it's bad to take it out on others. For the temporary relief it gives, you realize it really is not worth it. To kill for sport, it makes my stomach turn - a sad waste of life. Just because I can, doesn't mean I should. Cruel thoughts are the domain of a scared animal. I don't want to live in suffering because of such fear, and most of all I don't want my family to think less of me. Does that make sense? I wouldn’t want to disappoint them, or lose their trust…"

"When I hunt for food, I often think of what my mentor would say. Those thoughts guide my spears, the memories remind me to be kind in the face of the vast, indifferent world. Most of the creatures out there have it considerably worse than me, trying to survive nature day by day. I've been blessed with a mark, I know things that a typical slugcat would never need in their life. I don't think I can ever go back - knowledge, like my «powers», are both a blessing and a curse. And, dare I say, I think it is better that I have those powers… for I know, at the very least, that I trust myself to use them wisely."

"The bow is a sign of respect, and a gentle reminder of the things that I stand for."

[coldresolve]

Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: elimunpau@gmail.com

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

[portraitsofguilt]

AHHHH can you do arcane milfs and reader with age gap? Like maybe something that explores how they feel about being older than reader. Thanks<3

✮ — 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐏 ; cassandra kiramman, ambessa medarda, enforcer grayson, renata glasc, sevika

content warning. afab! reader, sfw ! — lowercase writing intended, age gap, mention of suggestive themes(?), characters are worried, and the reader is a bit oblivious to it

moss' notes. this is such an amazing idea, moss wants to kiss the anonie on the lips (only if anonie lets moss ofc) another note, moss doesn't think they did justice so they might just come back to this later :)

— CASSANDRA...

it wasn't uncommon between her peers to fool around with a much younger partner, to crave the companion of a young person so they themselves can feel a little younger. she sees it as a normal thing in the world, back then in the older days there were teenagers marrying men in their fifties and up, nowadays that doesn't happen but it's somehow still there in a much healthier way.

it doesn't bother her but the ill talks about your relationship fuel her anger. those nights she has a hard time going to sleep, rambling about how it doesn't matter, that they are lies, and that the two of you will never end up like all her comrades do.

x "no matter the gossip, no matter the looks, i love you with all my heart my darling, nothing can change that."

— AMBESSA...

at first, she wouldn't be too worried about the age gap between the two of you, giving no special thought to it because she had plenty of girls as young as her own daughter or even younger before. but when she thinks about having a family, a long life with you the fearless warlord can't help but be scared of what is to come. she had never really thought about her own mortality, she decided if death is to take her to battler then she will be pleased, but with you in the picture, she is not sure if she would like that either.

x "i live in great fear now with you by myself, but i don't dread it, i just hope it will ease. i love you, my dearest y/n."

— GRAYSON...

she can't, she faces so many dirty people on her job, people who take advantage of younger people and call them stupid just because of the age gap is just unacceptable in her opinion. she has a hard time accepting her feelings for you, struggling every step of the way and even now that you have been together for a while she still feels that she needs to apologize if she has ever made you feel like you were just a pretty young thing, a toy that she could use as she pleased. she begged for your forgiveness if she made you feel like that, crawling on her knees in front of you. it is a heartbreaking sight to see someone like her be in such a wrong space of mind.

x "i hope you know that i would never treat you differently just because you are younger, that i don't see you as something to play with, but i see you as my life... i'm sorry."

— RENATA GLASC...

renata might be even more worried about the years between the two of you than anyone else. she hates to think that you might feel that she is too old for you or you are too young for her, that because she is already successful in her line of work she will never appreciate the small things you achieve before the big ones roll in. she wants you to feel equal next to her, to not think that at any given time she is trying to use that horrible line that mothers use, the "i am older than you, i know better, i know what's right for you and me" - she might know more than you, but isn't to say that you are not smarter than her in other topics.

x "we are equal, regardless of our age or knowledge, i love you despite anything they say. i want you for who you are, not because of what you are, my sweetheart."

— SEVIKA...

sevika isn't immune to the worry that comes with the age gap between the two of you, but she takes it less seriously than the others. she has accepted the fact that she has little control over who she falls in love with, who makes her heart flutter and make her realize that she doesn't need to be a god for someone to love her, that she can be human and you would find her nothing but lovely. she thinks very little of how the years between the two of you would affect your relationship.

x "you and i are a team, nobody can take us on, they just have to deal with it."

tag list ; @roguescarlett @mxyx-rx444 @darlingmisa @einrosa @sevikasangel @nopealoupe @pixiegirlz @gonegonethankyouuu @xthescarletbitch @orang3-ish @bigboobslilheart

[ruelin024]

What does the neutral mean?

Heyo Anon, this is not specifically targeted at you, okie╰(*°▽°*)╯

I will answer you and others for this post. 👌

[Neutral shipper: Typically refers to someone who does not want to participate in proship versus antiship discourse. Can be considered 'proship' by default to some.]

Quoted off from This Carrd -> SHIPPING GLOSSARY

Now, this is for all the other anonymous in my inbox that keep asking me "what I am", "who I am part of", and "why I call myself Neutral."

I deleted those asks since; I will be answering y'all questions here.

First off, it felt funny/weird being asked "What am I?" Like lmao. I'm just Rue/Ruth, I draw :3 I like Undertale, I'm tryna learn how to socialize better and improve my art, so wassup.✨o(*^▽^*)┛

This post is meant for those who are open-minded and respectful plz and thank you. (^^ゞ)

Long Wordy Personal Post Below

(CW/TW regarding ships, I curse a bit sorry)

None of this is meant to offend nor dismiss anyone’s opinion, experiences, or feelings. Understand, this is just my rambling and thoughts. I'm also not calling out anyone! AND PLZ do not harass anyone from the links.

Some of my quick research:

-> SHIPPING GLOSSARY -> so what does ‘ship-neutral’ actually mean? -> 👑yorse backyorse friends the backyorsigans🐝 — Sad how "proship is the neutral side" is kind of... -> Proship, at it's very core, is a combination of four general principles-- -> Proship is, at the very core, very simple! -> Curating your online and fandom experience includes: -> They have links about "Fiction and Reality" -> Other short discussion on Proship

I am usually not one for drama or negative vibes, but it would be nice if I can stop getting asks pertaining to proshipping and anti-shippers.

And the fact I'm okay and Welcoming to ALL is really because I am Neutral, my personal thought process has always been, "I do not wish to bother nor be bothered."

I am told/warned by very close peers, I am quite desensitized or apathetic to things, but it's due to some personal trauma I will not discuss publicly for my safety. It's one of the reasons I don't care to bother with troublesome things. Dw I'm working on it and healing.

This means "this" will be the first and only big important post I make regarding this topic.

And if I happen to be a bother, plz tell me or do block, and unfollow me okay, for your sake. ╯︿╰

I do not have a dni for many reasons. Though the main bare minimum I shouldn't even ask of anyone is to just be nice, respectful, kind and open-minded. I will not tolerate harassment, insults, or threats around me or for those around me.

Anyway, the Proshipper and Antishipper community arguments are bothersome but is quite an entertaining read.

We all have our own opinions, thoughts, view etc, if you actually don't like something, then just stay far far away from what you find/consider problematic. And you'll see life is so much calmer.

I for one am living as satisfied as I can.

I am a simple person. I just like art and doing/making what I like such as exploring Undertale content, creating fanart for friends, conversing about OCs and AUs, participating in DTIYS, all that fun exciting stuff! I get to know others; I get to draw more and improve on myself! Win-win! ♪(^∇^*)

Tumblr is my first ever social media when I turned 18, literally 2023, last year. I anxiously decided when I became an adult, I can finally do instagram, discord, tumblr, etc, to share my art because I am usually a nervous wreck both irl & online.

Yeah, internet still paranoids me, but I'm getting though it cause school requires me to. *sigh*

(Uh. to my friends, reading this, that I've bothered multiple times to help me use sites and my phone/computer, 😭 you cool, also sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry) My bad. 👌Y'all patience is immaculate.

So, I for one am not knowledgeable about, well, "the internet" as others may be at my age. I never knew the art community had more issues other an ai, art theft, and tracing, like whoa.

So lemme tell you something, when I was recently first confronted about if I was a proshipper, I went to research, and there's not a way I can word this nicely, but "I do not care what other people think, like, do or say" especially on the internet, unless it's being shoved down my throat forcibly, but you know what, no one can exactly do that online, since I and everyone else has the power to block, unfollow and curate their own internet experience respectfully.

And if you can't, I insist you take care/be kind to yourself and chill off your device OR learn how to block certain people, content labels and tags, etc y'know.

And a dni list might sometimes not be read, personal experience:

I happened to accidentally disrespect a friend's dni list because at the time I didn't know I was a person that had opinions that were against what their thoughts/views were and didn't know/realize that they had an issue with "Fiction doesn't affect reality." Purely accidental, they were one of the first asks and friends I made, so I followed without reading their blog thoroughly cause I was just happy to make more Undertale friends. And didn't know if I should randomly disappear from them, up until they confronted me about it. Anyway, I think that issue was solved, hopefully.

Now I have friends who were proshippers, friends that are nice antis, friends in-between and friends that are neutral like me. And those I still consider Friends who have blocked and unfollowed me.

Along with some who didn't wish to hear me out and decided to make their vile assumptions of me, and others who were kind and open enough to listen to my own words and remain a dear friend.

Being Neutral to me is not having a strong enough opinion for or against. Cause not all proshippers are badshit mental, not all anti-shippers are death threatening fancop messengers, and not all neutrals are hypocritical.

Something around those lines. Btw, I enjoy platonic ships for the most part, also consent and boundaries is highly important in my book. I do not support sick shit and know just because someone is associated with people who draw that, doesn't mean they support it, I for one know my reality and know where fiction stays fiction. That's my opinion and thoughts. If you can't differentiate and you let something like fiction rule your life in a bad way, I hope you work on yourself more and be kind to yourself. 😔 I had a moment of struggle like that after going through certain experiences, until I learned and disciplined myself to not give a flying fuck anymore. Cause I found it to be very draining and stupid to keep dwelling on it. Now I don't get triggered easily for my well-being! Inner Peace type shit! 👈(ﾟヮﾟ👈)

Also, regarding the frans question cause of the ask about the "Sooner or Later You're Gonna Be Mine" post I made a few days earlier. Uh yeah, as long as characters are being depicted as adults, it also applies to aging up a child canon character, then it's fine, both are depicted as adults. That's their view, their drawing, their writing, their thoughts. And I will respect them for depicting their ship as adults if that's what it is.

In my opinion, I'm just glad they didn't do child x adult stuff in the frans ship in their fanfic. And even if they did, I'd cringe then just scroll off far far away and not bother with it anymore for my mental. OR I can just easily, replace the characters I'm reading on, with my own characters. I wouldn't spread hate nor harass anyone over it for being problematic. Cause I don't wanna bother, they probably get enough shit from others anyway, cause many types of people exist whether we like it or not.

I had someone tell me in a discussion once, where in their Undertale AU and drawings, their Frisk was an adult, and just know there's people out in the world that have a version of Frisk that ages with them, and is their specified identity despite canon Frisk being a nonbinary human, and that's their choice, not my business fr. Also, another talk with a friend, was that it was weird you'd still see an aged-up Frisk as a child, I dunno if this makes sense, but you view them as a child, despite them being drawn as an adult as depicted in certain frans drawings, that's odd, I guess and it was funny they told me, and I summarize quote them, "That means adults can't have romance(seggs)! We are basically aged-up children!" -So anyway, either you're protective of canon frisk and you simply can't see them in other's people's respective view or you just something else I dunno.

When I see a ship, I don't like, my way to view it is just replacing the characters in my head and scrolling off, simple. Well simple for me. I'm not sure about y'all? I'm in my head a lot, so I have a lot of imaginative power up there lol.

And my favorite color blue and green-ish blue. (✿◡‿◡)

Hopefully, I answered most of the asks. IF anyone needs some clarification, just be open minded and do you own research, go explore, don't just listen to close friends' opinions, have fun and discover your own opinions. That's how I gain my own perspective on many Undertale ships deemed common/problematic and being a Neutral. Understand, definitions are skewed overtime, find more than one source, learn from others, and then decide your own views.

This whole thing ain't mean to change your views or anything.

I'm not sure if I missed anything. I don't wanna proofread this again. This was tiresome to make. ╯︿╰ If I worded something wrong, comment it or something I will try to clear it up later perhaps.

I apologize to those who's view of me changed due to this post. Really sorry.

In conclusion, you do you, I do me, peace. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

[a-pop-of-korean]

hello i have a question about learning korean ^^

i started ( self ) studying it about two years ago but discontinued due to college and all, but now i want to pick it up again and i don't know where to start from? i know how to read and write, but i have issues reading in one go— basically i lack fluency in reading and i often stutter. is there any way to improve?

secondly, i do know some basic stuff however my vocabulary isn't vast enough. besides, i would like to understand the sentence structure, or how they write phrases and sentences since it's very different from english. i've referred to so many sites but there's always a question— do i work on vocabulary first or sentence / phrasing structure first? or do i study both of them along side?

this sounds like such a mess and it is because i'm so lost ┬┬﹏┬┬ my main goal is to understand korean shows without subtitles and i do pick up a few words and phrases here and there but there's a lot still left to learn and idk where to start from. moreover, i've noticed that the textbook korean and the one that's spoken in everyday life is way different ( this applies to almost all the languages tbh ) and i'm having a bit of a trouble trying to figure out how a native would say it?

or example, do this thing where i come up with a sentence and try to translate it just to check what it would be in korean and check in the translator to see if i'm right, and most of the time im not. whether it's about the formalities or the conjugations. basically a whole lot of issues so please if u can help ＞︿＜

Hello! If your goal is to be able to understand Korean content without subtitles, then I think self-studying grammar and vocabulary is a good idea. I know you said you already have some knowledge of Korean, so I would refer to my masterlist and start from wherever you feel appropriate. I also recommend diversifying your study material and looking at other resources on Tumblr, YouTube, and on the Internet elsewhere. There's a lot out there!

As for your second question, I think it makes more sense to study vocab and grammar at the same time. As I've said before in previous asks, I was never that disciplined with my studying, so I can't really give you concrete study techniques. I think I got where I am today by regular exposure (on top of taking Korean courses and studying abroad lol). But if you don't have those opportunities, using whatever resources on the Internet can get you far. As you get comfortable with both grammar and vocab, I recommend exposing yourself to content like webtoons in Korean and K-dramas. These will help you with your reading and listening comprehension. There are plenty of webtoons at varying levels of difficulty, and K-drama actors have clear diction that is easy to understand. Again, I don't exactly have concrete techniques for how to eventually ween yourself off of subtitles/translations (since I myself still use them), but in my experience, exposure alone is enough to at least allow me to read webtoons and watch K-dramas without relying super heavily on the translations. Consuming this content will also teach you how natural Korean is spoken by natives. I hope that makes sense!

If you're concerned about speaking, the best way to get better is to converse with others. You might not know other people who speak Korean, but you can still practice with others for free on Hilokal, where I used to teach live lessons. It's a nice, low-pressure environment that can help you get more comfortable with speaking and learn alongside other people just like you!

Also, I generally don't recommend using translators to help you learn a language, especially if you're an English speaker learning Korean. It's more useful for you to understand the meaning of the Korean itself than it is for you to get the perfect translation. Korean is especially difficult to translate into English (in my opinion), so a translator might not give you a clean, accurate, and natural translation. Unfortunately, I can't think of other ways to fact-check your sentences otherwise lol. But I think that looking at enough sample sentences will help you become better at constructing your own. And something that helped me feel more comfortable writing and speaking when I was abroad is that, even if I make minor mistakes, chances are that other people can still understand me. Maybe keeping that in mind can make the learning process a little less stressful :)

Maybe this advice isn't new for you, but I hope it was still helpful! Thanks for the question and good luck! 화이팅!

[writingwell]

20 13 fanfic questions

Thanks to @randomfoggytiger for the tag. I didn’t do all of them, just the pertinent ones, and I modified those just to include ffnet as well. 

1. How many works do you have? 26 on AO3 (for my mature rated Spy Castle stuff); fanfiction.net has 278 Castle fics;and about 300ish archived at Gossamer for X-Files.

4. What are your top fics by kudos/reviews? The Return of Vulcan Simmons, Tempest (not a spy work!) on AO3; ffnet would be One Hundred Days of Summer (co-authored with SandianeCarter) and Dash It All.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I think if you take the time to contact me, you deserve the respect of hearing from me. It might not be a full-blown conversation, but I’ll do what I can with a full-time profession and a writing one as well. Also, suuuuper sorry, just discovered AO3 has an inbox. 300 days ago, some of you messaged me and I am just now seeing those. Lol. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have a spy fic where the two of them are just so at odds, so grieving with and over each other… okay that’s most of them. But I try not to end on angst, as it’s supposed to be the journey not the destination. (Angst is a twisting of the heart, not a place where you stay. According to me.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Dash series has the ‘happiest’ endings. Not because life is happy, but because they figured out how to create contentment within what they’d been given/dealt in life. And in ways other versions of the Castle characters hadn’t accomplished. They did the work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Oh definitely. A while back, I turned off comments on tumblr for about a year as I processed and healed from some targeted attacks, and I can say that I came out more certain of myself and my writing. But I was also an adult who had not been forced to weather these attacks as a vulnerable 13 y-o on social media (as so many of you are unfortunately dealing with). I was able to detach, center myself once more, and rise above because I’d grown up IRL, so to speak. I have a faith in something bigger than me which, while it doesn’t look like what it did, has sustained me and given me the confidence to know my worth even as it spurs me to be/do better. 

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Oh definitely, lol. It’s on AO3. Usually I like to explore M/F with a third in there for kicks, as the concept of generosity and giving within the sexual relationship/experience is intriguing to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I objected to the term ‘stolen.’ I’ve had my fics, without my knowledge, posted elsewhere, translated without my knowledge, and changed to other fandom characters to be posted elsewhere. However! I’ve had loads of people ask me too, and I really appreciate being able to go visit them. (Stolen would indicate I somehow own these fanfictions, and I do not, as that would be a legally difficult hill to stand on. I also do not perceive collective fan art in this manner, because the world is all of ours.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Oh there’s a co-written story that me, carto, and muppet47 started and have NEVER finished. We all know Castle has to go to jail, but we can’t write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing it the first time. Correctly. As in, it comes out the way it should or ought to or how I am seeing it in the moment. I have the right rhythm, I can spell and I have the grammar skills. My first draft is fast and good enough for submission. Of course, I go back and edit, and I have to, but I’m very blessed in not ever going through anything like writer’s block.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Secondary characters. I have a tendency for tunnel vision, where all I want to do is talk about and to and for the main characters. If they have friends or family, I barely include them. I can’t manage to care that they exist. But all of us live in a complex web of relationships and community; no one is alone. My last novel, Taste of Salt, was an concentrated effort to include as many other perspectives as possible, so it was told through the POVs of the two main characters and interspersed with flashback chapters from the POVs of their friends, family, coworkers, chance encounters, medical personnel, kids, support networks… there you go.You have to do the thing that’s hard. Write it out, over and over, keep practicing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Yeah, sometimes it becomes necessary for the character. But please keep it to a minimum (imo) as it detracts from the reader’s understanding and experience of reading. It ought to be rather easy to understand what the person is saying due to context or just the flow of the scene. If you’re writing in English, and you have a character visiting France, then obviously some of that ought to be in French, but after a while, you can indicate that the language is being used while writing it in English. I say this because most of you are fandom writers who are not writing for literary audiences; therefore, don’t ruin everyone’s fun my making it incomprehensible or inaccessible. Please.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Don’t ask me to choose between my children! I can tell you that Dash holds a special place in my heart due to the amount of readers who said it gave them understanding of their own sensory issues or their child’s autism, etc. Spy gave me one of my greatest friends, carto, who continues to love and support me and my writing. 

I won't tag anyone, because I deleted so many of these questions, but feel free to answer or share or talk with me about them!

[msallurea]

Tw: mentions of self harm, su1cide, abuse, etc

To anyone who is in the loa community and are currently in any abusive or traumatic circumstances whether it be through family, relationships, friends, etc and/or going through a cycle of suicide/suicidal tendencies/self harm and are manifesting getting out of it literally as soon as possible pls know it is 100% ok if u want to crash tf out because you're not out of the situation yet.

Currently I am going through both of these and yall I swear I was about to end it all and off myself just now which is actually why I'm typing to distract myself from it and just cutting myself in general, but with that being said mental health is real and it's a big thing and a lot of times the person that's causing it to decline does know but doesn't care or isn't aware but will still do it anyway because that's the kinda person they are.

I know we as loa content creators will always preach about the 3d doesn't matter and circumstances don't matter and etc but the reality of it is, circumstances really are hard to deal with especially if you're someone like me who is going through abuse and are self harming and it's distracting you from fulfilling yourself and persisting. If you want to cry about it you 100% can, right now I'm not mentally stable to give any proper uplifting advice and I would be lying if I said I wanna even think about the thought of saying "it'll get better" because in instances like this, the "it'll get better" seems like a lifetime of waiting to happen. Quote literally the only thing inbetween me n sudden death is my knowledge on the law..that's it.

And it is 100% true what they say that once u learn about loa it is very, very hard to just go back thinking averagely.

But what I am gonna say is, and it's only because I have just tried sitting here for 5 minutes convincing myself not to do it: do not harm yourself or off yourself. I currently don't have anyone to get me out of my situation (i.e let me move in with them, visit, etc) but what I will say is if you have a friend or anyone u know u can go to, go to them pls. If you can find a way pack your shit and get tf. I do not have that blessing but ik some have leeway to, so if you can do it pls do. Currently all I have is a friend to talk to and vent about everything that's going on which seems to make me feel better because I'm someone who tends to bottle all this up inside until I burst into tears and on the brink of just ending it.

I'm also not in a safe position to call for help from anybody but if you can pls do it. Call cps, call the cops literally call any body u have on speed dial for situations like this and get tf up outta there regardless if you manifesting your dream life or not. If you have enough money to leave pls leave and do not look back. I do not personally have these resources so I currently have no choice but to try and keep manifesting out of my situation but crying and venting cheered me up a bit so just hope what I said was a greenlight for you and may have helped you a bit too that you're not alone in your situations and unfourtanetly there are many who are dealing with the same abusive toxic circumstances.

With this being said I hope others like me can continue to work to manifest our dream lives and get out of this little hell hole 🤦🏽‍♀️ however I'm gonna be 100% transparent to yall, if yall do not hear from me I can promise you it's because I was on my last straw and I just ended it right then and there if you know what i mean, and as scary as that sounds, no amount of therapy, talking to someone or medication is gonna change my decision on this because right now, death feels wayyy more promising and peaceful than whatever the hell i got going on rn. ..but that's all

[chambersandfogg]

June 11th, 1917

My dear Mr. Fogg,

I was surprised by the contents of your last letter, to put it mildly. I expected some discussion of the war—an inevitable subject these days, even before taking into account the focus of my letters to you. So, yes, I expected to hear your thoughts on the matter, but I never could have anticipated that you’d write to tell me you’d joined up.

Do not misunderstand me; it is an admirable thing that you’ve done, but it is perplexing to me all the same. Just a few months ago, you wrote that the theater had extended your contract. When I was in London in November, it seemed just as packed a house as it was at the start of the year. And you seemed to be enjoying yourself as much as you always have. Why the change of heart?

I confess, I feel a sense of…failure may be too strong a word, but at the very least a disappointment alongside my confusion when I read your note. Were my own words on the subject not deterrent enough?

I hadn’t realized that was what I was trying to achieve in our correspondence, but it was. You know better than anyone what I’ve experienced. What I’ve seen. What I’ve done. Putting those harsh realities to paper has been daunting, but I wanted you to know it all. As it turns out, I wanted you to know because of a secret hope inside me that you would want to stay as far away from the whole business as possible. I know I am not the only person you are hearing these dire stories from, so what is it that has you running directly into the flames?

I don’t regret writing all those truths to you, even if they ultimately did not have the effect I unknowingly desired, but I do regret revealing my own methods for forging identification papers. You are a clever man, no doubt about it, so I am certain that you would have found a solution on your own, but I detest the idea that I may have helped you appear young enough to fight. We are, both of us, too old to be out in these trenches and yet that is where we find ourselves. I hope we never meet each other out here. I hope this war ends before we have the chance.

It was only a matter of time until America entered the war, and sometimes I wish I had waited until we had before volunteering. The British forces have been bright and brave compatriots the past fifteen months, that isn’t from where the remorse originates. But perhaps if I had waited for our nation to join before offering myself up, I wouldn’t have “accomplished” what I have over the last year.

Perhaps it is wrong of me to write such things, or even think them, but that doesn’t lessen their truth. It is truly horrible, what I’ve created, and I will live in shame for the rest of my life. It causes me to wonder if our shared state is, in fact, a punishment after all, at least for me. That I should live forever with the knowledge that I helped create such terrible toxins. That I’ve choked men to death with my creations, left them disfigured and in pain, resigned them to a daily terror of gas creeping toward them. It matters not one whit who these men are. We are all the same in death and I have ensured that death is a thing that blisters and strangles and drags its victim across hot coals.

I know what you’ll say, because you’ve written it to me before—that if not me, some other poor, arrogant fool would have come up with it. That chlorine and mustard gases were already plaguing the battlefield, that it is only a matter of time before our enemies uncover an even more horrifying compound. But save your ink. None of it, however true or well reasoned, changes the fact that I’m here, that I’ve done what I’ve done.

Why couldn’t you just be selfish, John? Why couldn’t you do what you do best and hold yourself above all other considerations? Are you already so bored of your illusions? Do you feel the need to prove that Fogg the Fearless can escape a war so few have?

Promise me this: treat your gas mask as if it is the heart that beats in your chest. Go nowhere without it. Do not test the limits of our unnatural existences, lest you discover you really are unable to be killed and wind up in a perpetual state of misery for the rest of eternity. Do not be too proud to run.

I am currently far afield, huddled below no man’s land and dripping mud onto this letter, written on the very last of my current paper supply. So I will not chastise you further except to say: I have known too many good men who have died. Indeed, I have not allowed myself more than a passing cordiality with the men I fight with, lest I gain affection for a fellow only to see him killed in the way I have seen so many killed. I would ask—I would beg you—to reconsider your decision if it isn’t already too late, but I suspect it is. All I can ask then, is that you put that impressive brain of yours to good use and look out for yourself. I could not bear to lose

Please be careful. I am, reluctantly, now your brother in arms,

CXC

[a letter received by J. S. Fogg, in a medical tent in France]

[listen to New Year’s Day wherever you get your podcasts. to read the pre-1917 entries, join atypical artists and get access to the archive of 24 entries (5,000+ words), as well as ad-free episodes. to receive future monthly missives straight to your inbox, sign up for free here]

[glamourgoreandmuchmore]

welcome to the blog! here’s a little about the blog and it’s author! 💋

hey guys! i’m beyond delighted to welcome you to my blog, i’m looking forward to showing you all the future content i have in store.

the blog

the title explains a lot for me here!

if google has the answer to everything, why am i always struggling to find exactly what i want? maybe i’m looking for a very specific book recommendation, a time stamp in a real housewives of beverly hills episodes, and often times, i’m trying to find factual and fun news, not competitive, untrue and boring news.

this blog is my way of sharing my expertise knowledge on all the random topics that have piqued my interest over the last few years, my experience through teenage years leading into early adulthood, books, shows and movies that you all need to experience one time in your life to consider it a life well lived.

i look forward to giving advice, sharing my own experiences to help you lot learn from my mistakes and straight up embarrassing moments.

the title of the blog highlights the basis of the blog, glamour being all things pretty, pink and reality tv in life. ( get ready for a lot of real housewives drama ) i plan to tell all my self learnt tips when it comes to travelling, boyfriends, girlfriends, school work, parents ( ugh ) and everything in between. think of me as a fairy godmother sent with the sole purpose of helping you all through your problems and even non problems

the gore, i do have to admit i chose the word gore simply because it created a catchy title, but that doesn’t mean i won’t include it. the gore i speak of in the title is what i played on in my intro, here i plan to keep all of my lovely readers updated with the current factual news, typically crime and court news ( you’ll see why in my about me section further down ) i aim to keep everyone updated on the current and important news, making sure that everything on this blog is 100% factual and as helpful as it can be

the much more, as i mentioned earlier, my life experiences and interests through the years have left me with valuable experience in many ways, socially, intellectually and especially emotionally, if i do say so myself, i would have to toot my own horn and say that i am a master of emotions, i aim to teach you all the ways i have learnt to process emotion and how to use it in the right way to benefit you. here i also intent to give advice, tell my stories, answer questions and most importantly, recommend.

about the author

so, about me, i’m a 20 year old woman studying at university, my course links closely with court and crime ( i’m sure you can take a guess of what it is ) so that explains my gore section of this blog.

although i am 20, i have lived a life full of experiences and lessons, this is part of the reason i started this blog in fact. you will learn a lot more about me through the blog, through my stories and advice.

music, animals, nature, friends and family ( more importantly, friends who are family ) are the key factors in my life, they’re all i need to maintain my positive and healthy outlook on life. i wasn’t always this way, i have grown and taught myself how to see the world in a better light, and how to look for the positive parts in my day, i’m beyond excited to share this with you guys and hopefully help some of you out too. i’ll leave my about me at that so you guys can learn as you read,

thanks for sticking with me

thank you for reading this post, it really does mean a lot!

remember this is my blog, but it is all about you guys, please don’t hesitate to message me about posts you’d like to see, stories you’d like to hear, problems you have that you’d like me to give advice on ( everything’s anonymous don’t you worry )

i’m looking at putting together a form that you guys can submit your problems to, i plan to post one advice post per week! looking forward to talking to you guys

- 💋

[crunchybees]

goal setting for projectors:

instead of setting goals for physical, external things and burning yourself out or beating yourself up because you gave up before the finish line, try to set goals for ways of being. we've all come across something interesting that has improved the way we live, whether its for efficiency, health, understanding, or literally anything that makes life more enjoyable for us. i say, work on those things that will make your personal life better. i am a splenic projector, and recently i have found success in improving my bodily health. this has been in the works for several years (im also heavily saturn ruled and saturn rules the channel connecting to my throat center!). it started with a simple intention -i want to be healthier. but there was a lot of trying with no sticking to it. the main issue was that i could not find the right type of excercise. projectors are really iffy with excercise - we cant do it too often or too much or we get tired, and splenic projectors can get sick. i also did not have any generator to excercise with! and wow, trying to consistently exercise by yourself as a projector feels like seppuku. i have my heart and root centers defined so i could do any routine i had for about a month or so but after that i just completely lost interest and ended up feeling bad about it. like damn why cant i do that? well. thats just not how i work and thats okay. at that time i had a lot of other stuff going on, stuff that was more important than gainz, like going through the motions of being a high schooler who lives in her aunts crumbling basement. and yes i was trying to excercise in this crumbling basement - me, with taste cognition, crazy. so it wasnt the right time. but now it is. now i do have the energy to focus on directly improving myself and my life. it all started when i graduated. i immediately had a weight lifted off of my chest and i could function properly. well rested and able to focus on whatever came my way. i am a 1/3 profile as well, which means that the way i reach these goals is by first doing research (1 line), and then using my authority to choose what to take into my life and go through that trial and error process with (3 line). so from the beginning, i knew that the three things i wanted to work on, the three things that i knew were the most important, were sleep, food, and excercise. so here comes the research. and sometimes its unintentional. i didnt google search "poisons in food". but the state of food in the us led me to wonder what exactly these ingredients are doing, what effect are they having on my body? also saw stuff on twitter that triggered me to do research. i just get twinges to look further sometimes. and i saw a documentary last year about the effects of sugar and its substitutes. over time the knowledge builds up. i became pescatarian. i know what the nutritional content of almost every food i eat is. i found a partner to go to the gym with, just about once a week (i have wet kitchens environment as well). im still finding a good way for me to do reps and sets, cardio and strength, without me being absolutely obliterated by the end, but i am pretty close to finding that sweet spot. and rest has been so, so important to me over these last few months. ive been putting my foot down and saying NO if im tired, if i know something will wear me out. and my bed... after a long time of sleeping on a futon i now sleep on a beautiful cloud that begs me to stay. this is an indicator of success to me, as a projector. i didnt have a tangible thing that told me ive completed my goal. and its still not over - there is much, much more to life. but now i am able to take on the responsibilities and benefits that come with being this type of person and knowing this type of knowledge. master what you know is good for you. what benefits you, will benefit anyone who seeks your guidance. youre the one who is teaching people right from wrong here. youre the one giving them the map youve drawn from the lessons youve learned.

[thesapphireprincess]

💌 Hey guys!

So I moved back home this past December and it’s been a lot. I feel like I’m finally adjusting and ready to focus on myself and my life. A big part of this will be decentering men, dating apps and only meeting people in real life. Men ruin my peace because they always do something to disappoint you. Things were going really good with this guy and then he told me he didn’t think we had the right chemistry. Whatever that’s fine, we met on a dating app sir and only went on 2 dates. At least I didn’t give anything up or loose anything. It got me to thinking I’m not nearly as impressive enough than I outta be. Being real I can do better and accomplish more if I just broke these bad habits. Just a little bit of effort. That being said here are my goals. 🌠

- Focus on my education, knowledge and career. It’s Super important to have a proper productive role in society no matter what anyone says. College sets you up for a more successful future with guaranteed decent livable income. Depending on which field you pursue. Life will be easier and you can still work on other things that you want for your life. Having the opportunity and wasting it while living in a first world country is taking an L. Especially if you live in California where community college is basically free.

- Get some new hobbies and do them! For example I am a bridal stylist for work but I am interested in luxury bridal so why not learn all about the field and make content about it on my TikTok. Same with other fields.

- Get a new 9-5 to stack up my coin for the summer until college starts back but even then I can do college online. I also need to save up to move out in the future. Get a side hustle to make money.

- Focus on me and don’t fall off my path. Anyone who disturbs my peace can go happily.

- No more Netflix or Streaming services other than YouTube unless I’m in a sad/lonely mood and need comfort

- Drive to San Francisco 1-2x a week because it is a major city and there is a lot to do. It’s about 1 hour and 40 minutes. It’s far but it’s better than sitting in a small town doing nothing all day. Plus I have a car. If I leave the house at 11am I would get there around 1:30 and then have the rest of that day and make it home by 8/9. I can make friends in that area, it’s more opportunities, dating options in real life (no apps but the apps showed me what’s out there). I want to become rich for myself instead of relying on a man but when I do meet the right man obviously he has to meet what I’m looking for because I can do it for myself.

- Stop centering my world around men. I’m super male identified like all I think about is dating and all I talk about is dating and it’s super exhausting and probably pretty annoying. I don’t have intellectual conversations, I don’t read about current events and I can be very unproductive at times. Searching for men to date online and then obsessing over them and then getting disappointed or angry when they start acting different is too much. This is not how that’s supposed to work. I shouldn’t give my attention to just anyone. The right person will come around when they do and I will meet better dating options going out and living regular life, once I’ve learned how to not center them so that it doesn’t effect my emotions, happiness and world moving forward.

[hypergamiss]

Maybe you can help me understand the way insta's recommendations work....But I think If someone has ever had your phone number, you will be suggested to follow them on insta and vice versa. I think this is the gist, I've tried reading thru the policy but can't find anything that explicitly states this.

Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I'm about to change my phone number because I keep getting suggested to follow people I haven't seen in 6+ years. Like co workers and people from group projects in college. I have accidentally stumbled across so many girls' OF/sex work accounts and it makes me sad and embarrassed for them. The trend, especially for gen z, is to give sex work a chance because the media tells us it's lucrative. I'm so glad I chose not to put myself out there like that--the internet will do you dirty every time. The fake user names are not hiding anything.

I just got done reading thru mess on twitter. A young girl who had a lot of promise, went against my advice I gave her years ago and gave up a full ride for OF content. She really thought she would be better off without a degree. Well, she found a pimp/bf and they're both struggling while they rely on her content to pay the bills. Selling pics of her privates for 8.99 a month. I found all this because she was randomly suggested on insta. Neither one of us have the others numbers anymore, yet because we had that digital connection several years ago we will never be able to escape each other online.

I'm a sex positive woman, but I hate that so many girls lacked guidance and discernment when they made these decisions. If I am stumbling across these accounts against my will, imagine who else in their life is seeing this. The internet is forever and people are not as stealthy as they think they are. I just feel so sad knowing this digital footprint is going to haunt them later on. I had a SD in college but I met him through a friend and didn't need to put myself online. He was actually the one who taught me how to be truly anonymous online because he knew I'd be thankful for it once my career took off.

I'm not very knowledgable on instagrams recommendations but I'm guessing that it's using data that goes back all the way to when you first created a facebook profile since Meta became a thing and they're all under one umbrella now. There is so much that is being done with everyone's(personal) data, at this point it might have to do more with your email than you're phone number(or both).

I never fully understood the pimp dynamic. I legit thought the pimp concept was a made up thing that they used only for films and music videos(naive, I know). Then I grew up and one day met a "pimp" in real life(laughed at his face, I thought he was joking about it) and my jaw was glued to the floor. I still can't fathom why any woman would just hand over all her earnings to a man so he can just live off of her income and work her to death. Oh and they have multiple women at once??? My brain still doesn't want to accept that pimps are a real thing😅 Obviously now I assume that a trouble history and maybe drug abuse might lead women to this path, but even then. Pimps are NOTHING without women...

I agree with you on the digital footprint topic, I wish everyone took it more seriously.... It's a forever thing. More permanent than a tattoo or a marriage will ever be!

It also saddens me that many young women don't have the guidance that they could really use. I wish I could personally be there for each and every one of them.

[dojae-huh]

I've been binge-watching all NCT MVs, stages and dance practice videos, again :p Doyoung really has something that intrigues everytime I watch though he is not my bias. I have a soft spot for him since I watched some of NCT life seasons but I follow him just lil bit then. I have the complex that I can't leave the ones that I have so much time invested to watch them, even when sometimes I find other members much more intrigue me.

Ermm, when is the exact moment that you know Do is your ult bias and just focus on him? You are keen to observe him mature as an artist but also as a person, I mean both on cam and off cam. You must have a strong faith in who he is and what he gonna offer next I guess... Sometimes I realize that I am toxic to expect my biases to go the way I want and achieve this n that, kind of living by proxy mental. That's frustrated! Do you ever expect anything from being a Do bias? For me I think I am about to give up on the idol-fangirl relationship.. I mean I would still support them but I want to observe many other things besides that I don't notice be4 instead of screaming and crazily watch tons of videos with guilty pleasure. I admire people that can observe everything and offer ideas on things in general, hmm like the stuff you write about SM and kpop idols. Anw, thank you for your contents and sorry for this long confusing question. Thank you again!

That's normal. When humans invest a lot in something, they have hard time abandoning it. It's a problem in business. Most can't terminate a project in progress even if it becomes evident it will fail and won't be profitable (so it's better to drop it and stop spending money on it).

Life hack. If you'll make people help you somehow, they will be more ready to care about you, heh. You will make them be invested in you. Literally.

Anyhow.

You can take a break with your biases though? And comeback with renewed interest after some time. The good thing about k-pop is that content is saved on platforms. No problem in catching up after a few years. The time you invested in them won't become a waste of time in any case, your gained knowledge about them won't dissapear.

When I asked what should I watch to get to know NCT, I was directed to Idol Weekly with NCT2018. I'd already singled out Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeyong after watching a few MVs and dance practices, but I hadn't memorised their names yet. By the end of the programme I was sure Doyoung will be my bias. You can read this tag for more info.

I usually "fall in love" very quickly and don't get dissapointed. Eventhough it happens when I warm up to celebreties/fictional characters with time, after getting to know them better, such cases never turn into a new obsession. So Doyoung wasn't an exception. And the fact that in Wish I like the members, but noone hooked me, most probably mean that there won't be a second Doyoung. On the other hand, it's nice to have a whole group to be appealing for a change.

Hm, eventhough I want Doyoung to achieve this and that, I'm still a passive observer, so I won't be dissapointed with any outcome. I'm an admirer, not an "idol-producer". Doyoung does, I observe and marvel. Whatever he wins in life are his achievements. I get from him the process, the journey to those mountain picks. A life story of an ambitious person and an artist. There are no other types of parasocial relationships and co-dependencies.

If you understood your problem of an unhealthy fan-idol relationship (living vicariously through someone is bad), you have the power to change yourself and your attitude. The first step to solving an issue is a recognition of the said issue. Likewise, if you feel like you outgrew fangirling, then move on to newer pastures.

Eventhough I can safely call myself a stan, I'm an active participant in the fandom, my interest in NCT (and Doyoung) is supported by much more than a pretty face and a nice voice. It's showbusiness, it's social dynamics, leadership, stage outfits, concept development, Korean culture and mentality, Korean variety, the fandom itself, afterall. Doyoung is the White rabbit that leads me to Wonderland where I encounter all other interesting things.

As for content. I skip "empty" content and make sure to watch "informative" programmes. Those that will show me the members from a new side, or provide me with a better understanding of them.

Pick up a topic that is either very interesting to you (brings satisfaction, joy) or can be very useful to you (develop you) and dig. If anything, you'll practice active search and choosing your own direction. In this age of algorythms offering us stuff and deciding for us, it's a needed skill. How to be proactive and be a manager of one's own life.

Like Doyoung-sonsennim.

[miniaturetalekitten]

1.) So that my blog won't be empty, for all of you I will show my post, I wrote it in June! I'll also post drawings, most likely unfinished, if I feel like it.

1.) Чтоб мой блог не пустовал, для всех вас я покажу моё сообщение, я писала его в июне! А также, если захочется, я оправлю рисунки, скорее всего, незаконченные.

2.) Summer is here, it is already going slowly, slowly, smoothly, not in a hurry, and I am not particularly at a fast pace, in my own moderate way. The difference is that whatever the weather is waiting for me, I can have fun myself, become the same weather condition, while not losing my own spirit, which has led me to a state of enthusiasm, somewhere I really want to talk, somewhere in the silence to lock my brain, quieting that in the back water is always something happens.

What am I starting my text about? Just like you, I like just chatting, even though I don't reach the top at times, I'm tired, I barely draw or study hard, it still matters when I need it, and now I'm ready to be a newbie again, like I was when I discovered this wonderful world - Tumblr a long time ago. Looking at all these people, I again do not want to repeat, but just to feel what it would be like to be so tiny, who has not yet created your blog, your home, and because all of this would not be, if I had not dared, just recently was this "today" and in me clearly woke up something, probably I am just as happy, happy, just as interested in people, but only from a distance, I feel so much better.

And I was more pleasant when, unexpectedly, someone noticed me. Just like that, it's so simple, as if some strong magic suddenly flashed at the strongest moment, it was just the first experience, if you're not alone. Oh no, I'm not ready to have it all at once, no, I was at that time more comfortable knowing only one thing - that in this life, I will not experience loneliness, even though I may be far from people. (not always)

What do I mean by all this? I was happy to create my new blog, where I can be real, open and learning though not much knowledge, but the facts from which I still can't get away, from the fact that Tumblr has become my almost favorite place, added to that all the people, all that have written to me, sent me answers under the posts, or just turned their eyes, no matter which post has more likes, it concerns you too! From the beginning I wanted and want to thank you again, and not only, mentally I thank every person who at least once saw my work, yes, it sounds a little crazy, this is my personal truth, although I'm not constantly, well, not so often I subscribe to someone, to be honest it's hard for me to do it a little, let it not too prevent me from being just a person, being someone who secretly likes to follow the works or those I subscribe to...

And you.

Thank you for everything, thank you for your circling communication, which is addictive, and for everything, not so demanding when you were last on my page, the main thing is that I'm content to live with everyone around me, and that I can really support and fandom I love the most, and be a watcher~

2.) Лето наступило, оно уже идет медленно, медленно, плавно, не торопясь, я не особо в быстром темпе, по-своему умеренно. В отличие в том, что какая бы погода меня ни ждала, я могу сама развлечься, стать таким же погодным состоянием, при этом не теряя собственного духа, который и привел меня в состояние восторга, где-то очень хочется поговорить, где-то тишина запирает мой разум, успокаивая тем, что взади всегда что-то происходит.

С чего я начинаю свой текст? я люблю просто поболтать, хотя иногда я не достигаю вершин, я устала, я почти не рисую и не учусь, это все равно имеет значение, когда мне это нужно, и теперь я готова быть снова новичком, каким я была, когда открыла для себя этот чудесный мир - Тамблер давным-давно. Глядя на всех этих людей, мне снова хочется не повторяться, а почувствовать, каково было бы быть такой крошечной, которая еще не создал свой блог, свой дом, и ведь всего этого не было бы, если бы я не смела, совсем недавно было это "сегодня" и во мне явно что-то проснулось, наверное, я так же счастлива, счастлива, так же интересуюсь людьми, только на расстоянии, мне так лучше.

И мне было приятнее, когда меня неожиданно кто-то замечал. Вот так просто, как будто какая-то сильная магия вдруг блеснула в самый сильный момент, это был первый опыт.

О нет, я не готова иметь все это сразу, нет, мне было в то время комфортнее знать одно - что в этой жизни я не испытаю одиночества, хоть и буду далека от людей! (не всегда)

Что я имею в виду? Я была счастлива создать свой новый блог, где я могу быть настоящей, открытой и узнавать хоть и не так много знаний, но факты, от которых я до сих пор не могу уйти, от того, что Тамблер стал моим почти любимым местом, добавило в чтобы все люди, все, что мне писали, присылали мне ответы под постами, или просто обращали взоры, неважно, у какого поста больше лайков, это касается вас!

С самого начала хотела и хочу еще раз поблагодарить, не только, мысленно благодарю каждого человека, который хоть раз видел мои работы, да, звучит немного дико, это моя личная правда, хотя я не постоянно, ну не так уж часто я подписываюсь на кого-то, если честно мне немного тяжело это делать, пусть это не слишком мешает мне быть обычным человеком, быть тем, кто тайно любит следить за произведениями.

А ты.

Спасибо за все, спасибо за ваше кружащееся общение, которое затягивает, и за все, не такое требовательное, когда вы в последний раз были на моей странице, главное, что меня устраивает жить со всеми вокруг меня, что я действительно могу поддержать и фандом, который я люблю больше ��сего, и быть наблюдательницей~

[attackedastoria]

In this rant essay I will be talking about entitlement in the new age of social media concerning the art fommunity and why It Is Bad

So. After witnessing an absolutely infuriating incident of a fellow artist being mocked, insulted, and generally dog-piled on for "gatekeeping", I really feel the need to address something becoming more and more prevalent in the artist community.

Artists are not here to hold your hand through learning their creative process. Full stop.

In this new, fast paced age of social media and everything being accesible at your fingertips, people want instant gratification for everything. Including art. I have witnessed, and personally experienced, time and time again, people asking artists for their exact process on how they created a piece of art. I'm not talking simple questions like, "Hi, what type of clay do you use?", or "What is your favorite brand of paint for this?"; I am seeing an increase of people demanding to know the EXACT process, step by step, and not only that, they expect the artist to give it to them freely, and hold their hand through it with a happy smile.

If an artist refuses, as is their right when it comes to the art they've likely spent a decade or more perfecting through means entirely self taught in most cases? Ah, I can hear the response now, like a screeching eagle upon the wind: "Stop gatekeeping! You're mean!"

We aren't "gatekeeping" anything. No one is entitled to an artists methods, time, or knowledge, *especially* for free. Thanks to social media, everyone seems to want to continuously consume content, from artists in particular, FOR FREE. People now feel entitled to *demand* artists for walk-throughs, how-to's, in depth videos or tutorials, and by God, if you refuse, you're gonna be sorry!

I've been creating art seriously since I was twenty. I'm nearly forty now. I am entirely self-taught. If I wanted to learn something new, I looked it up and researched it, or figured it out myself. No one held my hand through any of this. I never asked another artist for expliciy details on their methods besides maybe a, "Hey, do you like this clay or that clay better?", and even then, I never got upset if I didn't get a response, because I'm not entitled to their time. Everything I make, I figured out through trial and error until I was satisfied. Honestly, it's part of the fun for me, figuring something out and having it work the way I want it to.

Now, there are of course plenty of artists happy to share their methods. They are happy to be teachers, mentors, guides for other people. I applaud them for this, because it's very hard to be a teacher. I could never do it. Most people can't.

I dont have the time, setup, money, motivation, or frankly the personality to teach people anything. My art is also my *job*; it is how I make a living, pay bills, get through life. There's nothing wrong, at all, with an artist not wanting to share methods they've perfected in their art, which puts food on their table. Despite what so many people think, not all art is just a DIY hobby. ART CAN BE, AND IS, A REAL JOB THAT PEOPLE RELY ON TO SURVIVE. So why would an artist want just give away their hard earned methods that help put food on the table for free?

Anyway... I hate the term "gatekeeping", now. I'm sick of watching friends be attacked because they don't want to give away their time and knowledge to every person that asks for free. I'm tired of getting chewed out in DM'S or comments because I won't troubleshoot every single question someone who is trying to replicate my pieces has. Google is free. YouTube is free. Do your research and figure out like so, so many people before you have done. I promise it's more rewarding than badgering someone to do all the legwork for you.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk

[aajjks]

Hey Alina. I need some advice please.

I need to choose which degree to study at university. I've been offered a space for a few different degrees at a few different institutions. Most of them only need me to let them know by January, but one of the universities wants me to decide this weekend to accept one application and decline one.

I'm a very creative person who loves many forms of art, although I am very capable in maths and science too. My parents say that I'm an expensive pet to keep because I like living a relatively lavish lifestyle, so they recommended that I get a degree and a job that pays enough for me keep up with the type of lifestyle that I'm used to.

The one degree that I applied for is artistic so I think I would enjoy it and absolutely love what I'd do. The other degree is science related in a field that I currently don't know much about, but it seems slightly interesting. I've been told that it's really difficult to get a scholarship in art and it's also really difficult to find a job in art. It also apparently doesn't pay very well. It's a lot easier to get a scholarship to study science, it's easier to get a research job and it typically pays a lot better than art.

I'm in a bit of a pickle, because I really don't know which offer to accept and which to decline. On the one hand, I'd love to be able to utterly enjoy what I do everyday, but I don't want to have to worry about financial struggles. I could probably get used to a simpler lifestyle with less worldly things. It doesn't sound too bad because I'm not that materialistic, but I would prefer not having to worry about just getting by day to day. On the other hand, I don't know too much about the science-related degree, but it seems interesting, so it shouldn't be so bad. It will pay well and I might still be able to do art on the side as a hobby if I have time, but I'm hesitant to get myself into something that I don't fully understand yet. The science thing is currently out of my depth, but I'm sure I could learn more about it, so it won't seem so daunting.

What do you think? Art degree that I love, but with few jobs and little pay? Or science degree that I might not like as much, but I'll be able to have a better lifestyle financial wise?

I have applied for about 20 other things too, but I'll make my decisions about those in January. For now, I just need to narrow these two down. I might end up having to just do art on the side so I can actually earn a living, but who knows?

In an ideal world, I'd study art and do it to my heart's content and just get a rich hubby 😌😜. Unfortunately I don't see that happening any time soon. I need TPOL!Jungkook in my life 🥲

Hi and thank you so much for asking for my advice. It means a lot

Also, I took my time to think about this because yes, it is not an easy decision to make about what major you’re gonna have in University.

I honestly think that you should pursue the science degree.

I know you are really passionate about art and it’s your best subject and I know we should always do the things we are passionate about but I think that we also need to build a stable future so I think you could do that with the science major and yes, it is also very nice to Gain knowledge about something you are not really familiar with. And art is a really great subject but like you said it doesn’t really pay much and we don’t want to worry about you know financial issues.

If I were you, I would have chosen the science major. Because you can pursue art at any time in your life art never goes away honestly.

but just my opinion cus I’m a very optimistic person. 🩷 and yeah it would be great to have a rich husband who will love you very much *sigh*