#but you can just be worried and notice it's not looking good you know

[czechwoso]

My brave lady (Leah Williamson x pregnant!reader)

Summary: Leah's first game back from injury. The night before she cannot sleep because of her nerves and she needs a cuddle.

Disclaimer: my first fanfiction, hope you will like it. Also, english is my second language so please be kind xxxx

You woke up middle of the night. You've been waking up a lot lately because of your pregnancy. Suddenly you notice that no one's lying next to you and there's a light on in the kitchen.

You put on your bathrobe and go see what's going on. Even though you can guess. Leah, as much as she didn't want to let it show, had been nervous about getting back on the pitch. Tomorrow is her first match after injury.

On the one hand, you were glad that Leah was home for the last few weeks so you could experience your pregnancy intensely together. On the other hand, you know how much your wife loves being on the pitch, hearing the fans, wearing the Arsenal jersey and everything about being a football star.

As her teammate, now on maternity leave, you knew that feeling too. But for Leah, football meant even more. As she always says: Football is not the most important thing in my life, that's my wife y/n. But thanks to football, I met her.

You entered your small and cozy kitchen. Leah was there, sitting on the chair, staring absently at the table. You rubbed her back gently and kissed her top of the head. Than you sat next to and pulled her closer. Leah buried her head into your chest. No words were needed. You began to gently stroke her head and softly kiss her hair.

"Honey, don't worry about tomorrow. You will make it. Remember how nervous you were before your first training? And you did amazing job," you said, meanwhile Leah hugged you tightly.

"I know honey, I just...I can't sleep. I know, training after my injury were pretty smooth but still...there will be people tomorrow. What if...what if I won't be as good as I used ti be?" said Leah, shaking her voice a little.

That was your sweet Leah. On the public, she was though player, captain of England and looked that there is anything she can't handle. But home, she was your sweet and soft darling wife, who constantly supplied you with enormous amounts of love and tenderness. You and now not born yet daughter. You both decided named her Josephine because your shared love for The Little Women.

"Arsenal fans love you honey. They missed you as much as you missed them and they can't wait to see you again. And I will be there here, watching you. Both of us. Being incredibly proud of our baby mamma. How brave she is." you told Leah holding her hand.

Leah smiled softly, protectively stroke your baby bumb and then kissing it. "I love you so much. Both of my lovely girls." said Leah while soft kissing you and your belly. "How is our bubba Jo?"

"Jo is doing fine, but her little kicks woke me up." you confessed.

"You sweet lady bug, let your mummy sleep." Leah said to your belly, can't stop cuddling with it. You could tell she was feeling a little better. "Can't wait to having our little girl here with us," she smiled.

You pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. "Let`s go to the bed, pretty girl. You need to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow," you said, grabbing your wife's hand.

Leah made her puppy eyes you used to see a lot. "Ok, but little bed cuddles will make me sleep better," she laughted.

You laught, grabbing her softy and hug her like a big spoon. "Ok, that`s a deal."

[tinyd3ath]

🎀🩰 Bulking Weight 🎀🩰

“Come on mama, fuck! Just be a good girl and take it so I can give you all my cum. That’s what you want right.”

Or

Bakugou gets a little insecure about the extra weight he gained while bulking, and you fuck the insecurity out of him.

Originally posted on A03

🎀🩰

“This was so much fun.” You practically bouncing with joy. It’s been forever since y’all have been on patrol together.

“Whatever dumbass, don’t slow me down.” You throw a glare his way.

“Don’t forget I’m still your wife, your ass will be on the couch if you keep talking to me like that.”

He scuffs in response knowing not to test you, but still wanting to have the last “word”. You giggle at him. You find it cute how unbothered he tries to seem.

Today seemed to be a pretty calm day for patrol. So far you’ve only broken up two fights, saved a cat, and taken pictures with a few fans.

You guys got a call that you can end the day early since it’s been pretty slow all over the city. You two are walking back to the agency now. Bakugou can feel the excitement rolling off you. He can’t help, but crack a little smirk. Seeing his pretty wife practically glow with excitement lights something inside him. He thought he’d be over all the puppy love by now, but watching you walk down the street smiling while the sun hits your skin making your cheeks look like those caramel/chocolate commercials makes him just wanna sink his teeth in you. In a good way of course.

“What are you so excited about anyways?”

“I was planning on watching the new game of thrones series when we got back, and now I get to watch it earlier than planned” You squeal.

Gosh you’re such a nerd. He never understood why you like those British shows. They all look like their bodies, and breath smell like ass. Yeah, the fight scenes are cool, but other than that what do you watch it for?

He was too busy thinking about how weird your taste in television was to notice a group of teenagers boys walking down the sidewalk towards y’all. He’s shaken out of his thoughts by the force of the tallest in the group shoulder checking him.

“Watch old man.” The tall box dyed blonde says to Bakugou. The kid’s friends all snicker. Bakugou stops , and turns to the group.

“Didn’t your parents teach you to respect your superiors? Especially the ones out here keeping your ass safe.”

The blonde teen just rolled his eyes.

“You should be less worried about my parents, and more worried about your beer belly. Fat ass.” Before he can stop, and think about it Bakugou goes to grab the kid by the collar. But you are quicker, and grab his arm before he can do so.

“Come on I wanna go home.” You plead with your eyes for him to let it go. He really wants to teach these fuckers a lesson, but his need to please you outweighs his need to rub some random brat’s face in the dirt. He grunts in agreement, and lets you drag him away. He can hear the boys laughing as y’all walk away. But all he cares about is getting his pretty wife on the couch surrounded by your favorite snacks.

You use your quirk to knock the kid on his ass before you guys get too far. Teenagers fucking suck.

—

While sitting on the couch with you later he couldn’t help replay what that brat said earlier. He noticed he’d gained a little fat, but it’s because he’s bulking. Was it really that noticeable? Why haven’t you said anything? He started to feel as if he led you on.

When you first meet back in school he wasn’t all jacked, but he was far from fat. The body you feel in love with. The one you loved so much your panties would get wet just from looking at isn’t the same anymore.

Did you still even find him attractive?

Bakugou can’t bring himself to ask you about it. He says that he’ll just watch you carefully to see any signs of discomfort . The problem was you look so unfazed. He can’t tell if it’s because you haven’t noticed, don’t care, or if you’re trying to look unbothered to not hurt his feelings.

His feelings weren’t hurt, maybe his ego was a little bruised. But the fact you’re the type to go around problems that aren’t problems to protect other’s feelings only adds to the uncertainty.

What Bakugou didn’t notice was that you picked up on his discomfort. You noticed the long looks in the mirror after every shower. The not wanting to cuddle every night like he usually does. Most of all the lack of intimacy.

You guys haven’t had sex in almost a week. Every time y’all start to get hot, and heavy he just eats you out the rolls over and says goodnight.

Head is great. But fuck, you wanna feel the weight of your husband on top of you as he makes love to you.

You decid you’ve had enough. Whatever is worrying him so much you’re going find out and fix. At dinner you decide to finally speak about it.

“Katsuki.” Almost immediately Bakugou looks up at you.

“Yes?” Worry lines your face. Bakugou starts to panic thinking something happened to make you upset. Just as he was about to ask if you were okay you cut him off.

“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting different. You haven’t been as affectionate or intimate. Are you not attracted to me anymore?”

Now he really starts to panic. How could you, his beautiful perfect wife ever think you were the problem? How could he not be attracted to you? You were hand crafted by God himself. You are the only woman he could ever love. Never once had he ever questioned your beauty. Even in school when he thought you were annoying, he still found you breathtaking.

“Are you crazy there’s no way I couldn’t be attracted to you.”

“Then what’s the problem?” He pauses, and shaky breath in. Should he lie, or let you know that some punk made him a little insecure?

No, he can’t lie to you. For this whole ‘death do us part’ thing to work he’s gonna have to be honest with you. Even if it makes him uncomfortable.

“…I’m afraid that you don’t find me attractive now that I’ve put on some pounds.” He’s too embarrassed to even look up from his plate. There’s silence for a minute. He starts to worry that he’s actually right. But when he looks up to see your face it’s filled with nothing, but love. You get up from your seat, and walk over to him. You reach out to stroke his cheek.

“There’s nothing that would make me stop loving, or finding you unattractive. And I have noticed the extra pounds, but honestly it’s kinda doing it for me.” You giggle at his stunned face. You pull him in for a kiss. It starts off tinder. Full of the love you two share. But with new found confidence Bakugou starts to get impatient. He missed this. Your body against his. The kiss becomes more intense as he pulls you closer to him.

He lifts you by the back of your knees, and carries you to your shared bedroom. You let out a squeal as you’re dropped on the bed. Bakugou chuckles at you, but you aren’t given enough time to say anything about before he reconnects your lips. He starts moving his kisses lower, and nips at your jaw.

Between nibbles, and kisses Baukgou breathes out “God I’ve missed this”.

You let out a startled moan when he goes lower, and sucks your nipple through your thin shirt. You feel his lips curve into a smirk at your reaction.

You start to get impatient from all the nipping,and kissing. You’ve been deprived of him for too long. You whine as you tug on his shirt letting him know you want it off. Bakugou can’t help,

but coo at you, and give a kiss to your pouty lips.

“I know pretty girl, I know. Just let me taste you first baby.” He peels your clothes off before laying between your legs. His mouth waters every time he see your beautiful cunt. He watches as more slick leaks from you. He uses his thumb to spread it across your lips, before giving your clit the tiniest rub. It’s a ghost of a touch, and it drives you crazy. You start whining down at your husband begging with your pretty eyes for more, and who is he to tell you no? He replaces his hand with his mouth.

He loves the smell, and taste of you. He never thought there’d be a day he would be obsessed with a vagina, but after y’all’s first time he’s been hooked. He licks you like it give him just as much pleasure. The room is filled with your moans, and the sloppy sound of your dripping hole and his mouth . You grab at his hair, and start rolling your hips up into his face. Bakugou’s eyes rolling back at the feeling of you rubbing your juices all over his lower face and nose.

Bakugou sucks your clit between his lips while flicking the tip of his tongue against it. The clinching in your stomach gets tighter, and you know you’re close. But when he slightly nibbles on your clit you know it’s over. You cry out as you ride your orgasm out on his face. After you calm down Bakugou sits up on his knees to see your fucked out expression, and heaving chest.

As good as him eating you out was, it wasn’t what you wanted. You tug at his pants with pleading eyes, expressing what you really want.

“What pretty girl you can’t use your words?” He says in that mockingly sweet voice. He likes seeing his pretty wife like this. All desperate, and sparkling eyed. It’s impossible not to get hard while watching you squirm, and beg for his cock. It’s when you pout up to him all big eyed, and desperate that he gives you what you want. No matter how hard he tries he can’t say no to you. His beautiful sweet wife. If he could he’d give you the universe. He pulls his shirt off, and tosses it across the room. He then removes his belt, and pants leaving him in just his underwear. He starts to feel a little uneasy showing all this extra skin to you, but seeing the hungry look on your face burns it all away.

You feel yourself getting wetter as you stare at your husband’s changed body. You felt the extra weight, but seeing it makes you so much more hornier than you expected. All his bulging muscles. Instead of being lean like before he’s fuller. His stomach has become slightly rounder, and his shoulders, chest, and biceps meatier.

“Fuck I need you.” A evil smirk breaks out across Bakugou’s face.

“Come get it baby.” You tug his underwear down causing his cock to flop out. The swollen pink tip leaks with precum. You give him a few strokes before leaning down, and giving the tip a sweet kiss. You suck the tip into your mouth while wiggling your hips in the air knowing how much he loves seeing your ass move. Bakugou groans at the display. But you only get two head bobs in before he’s pulling you off, and pushing you on your back.

“That can wait for later. Weren’t you just begging me to fuck you. I gotta give my baby what she want.” He smugly says to you.

Bakugou pushes your knees apart and, taps his fat dick on your pussy. He enjoys watching the slight jiggle of your fat lips. He sit his dick between your lips, and lets his dick sit snug between the two. He thrust slowly. His tip catching your clit with every upward thrust. He loves watching the contrast of his dick sliding between your brown lips.

After an impatient “Katsuki” he lines his tip up with your hole, and slowly pushes into you. You both can’t stop the low whines from leaving your lips as he stretches your tight spongy walls around him. He looks to make sure he wasn’t hurting you, and almost blows his load right there.

Seeing your mouth agape, and face scrunched up in pressure causes his dick to twitch inside you.

He can’t stop himself from breathing out a “Fuck baby” at the sight of you laid out so pretty. He starts moving at a steady pace. He leaves kisses all over your face, and shoulders. He can’t stop himself from telling you how good you are between kisses. Something about your gummy walls makes his mind go foggy, and his tongue loose.

“You’re doing so good baby.”

“Taking all of me so well.”

“Come on pretty girl give it to me.”

“Can’t believe this pretty pussy is all mine.” The steady pace was amazing while you were getting use to his size again,but now you were getting impatient and wanting more.

Bakugou is caught off guard when you suddenly pulled him down by his neck, and cross your ankles around his waist. You can’t stand the no skin to skin. All you want is to feel the weight of your husband on top of you while he beats your walls in.

You look up at him with glossy eyes, and beg “please Katsuki, i need more”.

And who the hell was he to tell you no. He gives you one last peck before getting up on his elbows, and thrusting into you like it was his only purpose in life. Your squeals plus the sloppy sound your cunt starts making, makes his mind go hazy. All he can think about is getting you to cum on his cock then stuffing you full of his cum.

You reach between your bodies to give your clit the attention she’s throbbing for. The added sensation makes you squeeze even tighter around him. It’s too much for you both. Bakugou can’t even hold himself up anymore causing him to lay his full body on you,and starts humping into wet soft heat. He subconsciously starts sucking and licking on your neck like a fucking virgin that’s having their first kiss.

You can’t stop your sobs. It’s all too much, and not enough at the same time. You feel so full, yet you want to suck him in deeper. His tip rubbing against your cervix isn’t enough. You want him inside it, smearing his cum against each area of it.

“Katsuki, fuck!” you wail.

“Daddy please!”

“It’s okay baby you can take.” He coos at you.

“No I can’t, it’s too much!”

“Come on baby take it for me.” He pulls you into a sloppy kiss. When you pull apart he says

“Come on mama, fuck! Just be a good girl and take it so I can give you all my cum. That’s what you want right.”

You get out a little ‘mhm’ between sobs.

You feel your climax on the tip of your tongue. He can tell you need a little something more. Bakugou reaches his hand up, and rolls your nipple between his fingers before giving it a pinch.

Your climax hits you like a wave, and drags Bakugou down with you. He continues thrusting making sure he covers all your walls with his cum.

You two lay there holding each other after coming down from your highs. You run your nails through his hair while waiting for your heartbeats to go back to normal. After a few minutes you decide to break the silence.

“You know, nothing could make me stop loving you.” Bakugou feels an intense swell of emotion in his chest. He tries to hide his red cheeks, and teary eyes by burying his face between your breast.

“Fuck how’d I get so lucky?”

[calebghostin]

"spidey hunch."

You didn’t think your newly established boyfriend and life-long best friend Caleb Xia was cheating on you, you just had a tickling, nagging, hunch.

 A hunch that swept your mind when he continued to postpone or last minute cancel dates, a quick: 

“I’ll make it up to you baby! Promise.”

Or,

“I, uh, gotta run! Gran needs me…” 

A charming smile and chaste kiss from the puppy eyed brunette may have once eased your worries, but tonight you needed to get to the bottom of it. You made your way up his apartment's stairs, worried about surprising, well, confronting him like this. Your phone buzzes at the last flight 'til his door, a text from Caleb lights up your mobile. 

🍎Caleb: Hey pips! We’re still okay for Friday night? Also, have ya had dinner yet? :p 

You take a deep breath and knock on his door. 

Some shuffling, a curious “hmm?” and alas, Caleb in front of you. 

“Oh! Hey, babe! I just texted you.”

Surprise flickers across his face, mixed with glee as his broad arm reaches for you to pull you into a hug but freezes mid-air when he registers the sombre look on your face. 

“Hey. Can I, um, come in? We need to talk.”

You whisper as your eyes dart into his apartment, was someone there with him? 

You notice the empty couch and living room, the singular mug filled with (what you assume to be) some sort of vitamin-filled or protein drink, knowing your boyfriend. One, not two.

Clearly, he had nobody over.

Caleb nods quickly, visibly swallowing and your heart can’t help but flutter as you watch the muscle of his adam's apple bob upwards and down. 

Nervous, good.

His nerves match yours. 

You sit on the couch, his tall form remains above you, his lilac eyes searching yours almost desperately. 

Your hands clench as they sit atop your thighs, you don't even know if you have the strength to look at him.

“Caleb, I want to know why you keep missing our dates or even disappear for hours on end. I feel like I’m going crazy and I just-”

You begin to ramble, until a cold voice interrupts: 

“I told you. Family emergencies and the internship, baby, what is this about?”

He crouches in front of you, cold hands intertwining with yours, a thumb swipes over your palm, calming, grounding yet urging you to continue. 

“I… I don’t believe you. Is there someone else?” 

He freezes, the sweeping touch of his hand on yours stops, guiltily, you think. 

Until you look down at his eyes which are frozen in shock. 

How? How could you come to the conclusion that his heart possibly had any space for anyone else when it was you. It had and always will be you for him, forever.

His breaths deepen and he says firm and true:

“No. Pips, I… there’s nobody else and I can’t tell you why I keep disappearing, it’s for your safety. I swear.”

His jaw grinds, eyebrows furrowed. He looks physically pained. 

“Caleb, you can’t expect me to believe that!”

Anger courses through you, hot and embarrassed. Here was Caleb Xia, your Caleb.

The boy who laughed at you when you fell, but offered a warm hand and smile, the boy you split ice-creams and fair tickets and prizes with, the boy who now lied to your face. 

You stood, hands firmly by your side. 

“Tell me, or I walk.”

You say, voice cracking on the last syllable, though you make no urgency to leave the room. 

“What? No, no, no. Please.”

He sprouted up.

Incredibly fast. 

“Caleb, this seriously won’t work! We’ve been together forever, we said ‘no secrets!’ Remember?” 

You don’t even register your body throwing the plush pillow towards him, an outlet of your frustration. 

You do register the insanely inhuman speed in which he catches it, places it besides you and leans forwards to grab your wrists. He pulls you up and into his embrace. 

“Okay. Okay.” He breathes in, preparing himself. 

What could it be? Is he sick of you? No, clearly not by his emotional reaction, wait, how did he catch that pillow so– 

“I’m Spiderman.” 

He whispers it reverently, a shaky breath follows after. 

Your mind races, frantically trying to piece everything together. 

The picnic date he ran from quickly, claiming an emergency simultaneously at the same time as a downtown bank robbery and so, so many more. 

“Can you... um, prove it...?”

You mumble into his chest, still being held by protective arms. 

He laughs, 

“That’s your answer?” 

Caleb’s thumbs swipe at your tears that you didn’t even realise were falling, cradling your cheeks and staring at you with adoration in his irises. 

You nod, shocked and curious. 

“Alrighty, pips. You asked for it.” 

You blink and he’s gone. You eyes dart up to the ceiling, a suspicious ‘thump!’ sounds. The thump that is your 6”2 boyfriend staring down at you, crouched on the ceiling.

“Soooo, how many guys d’ya know that can stick onto ceilings?” 

He winks.

You gasp. 

Caleb wasn’t kidding, he really is Spiderman. Your Caleb is the vigilante roaming around Linkon, the same spidey fiend you coincidentally have been running into these past few weeks, you realise.

“Get- get down!”

You giggle, jumping up to reach and grab at him, but failing as he dodges with quick "pswshh!" sound effects.

Spiderman then obliges, coming down, hand still attached to the roof, one finger lifting back down at a time - a show of his strength until only his pointer finger keeps him glued to the roof.

"Show-off." You murmur.

He comes back down head craned down to smile, no, beam at you joyfully, relieved.

“I have a lot to tell you-” He starts. 

This time, it’s you who intercepts him with: 

“Uh, yeah. I think you do. But why didn’t you tell me?”

It was the question most forefront on your mind. You trusted each other with all the secrets and quirks throughout your life, so why would he hide this from you? 

“I want to, no. Need to protect you. If anyone I deal with knows how much I…”

He swallows.

“How much I love you, it would place you in danger.” 

“Keeping me in the dark isn’t much better, Caleb…”

You mutter whilst your hand climbs up to his face and messes the mop of brown, warm hair atop his head. 

“I know, Pips. M’sorry.”

He leans into your touch, his hand coming to grasp against your wrist, consolidating your hand in his hair as it swipes across his locks. 

“You can make up for it...” You whisper.

“Oh, yeah?” His eyebrow raises. “How?” 

“Hm, pancakes for dinner. Among other things, maybe…” 

His head leans down as he murmurs: 

“That can be arranged…”

He stares down at your lips, memorised as they reply:

“Thanks, Spiderman…” 

A giggle escapes from you as his lips meet yours, a flurry of relief, love and passion as you slide your mouth to accommodate his sharp, quick-sensed movements. His teeth bite down on your bottom lip, a gasp escapes you and before you even register it, his tongue parts into your mouth. 

His once cold hands, now scorching hot, reach up your top sliding across your abdomen and meeting the lace of your bra. You disconnect, needing air. 

“Caleb, I, need a minute…”

You pant, hand splayed across his chest to create his space, despite his hands still… roaming. 

Then, a thought hits you. 

“Are your parents spiders too?” 

“Pfft, don’t be stupid Pips.”

He murmurs into your neck, mouth leaving hot, open, kisses across your collarbone. 

“Stupid? Says the one who didn’t tell his girlfriend he–” 

His kisses silence you as he carries you into the kitchen, your legs encased around his waist.

A night of new beginnings, revelations and reverence along with the web of a new life with your supernatural, spidey, Caleb.

[rafes-slut]

You marked his back with your nails pretty bad

Pairing: Cocky!Rafe Cameron x reader

Warnings: explicit content, rough/intense smut, scratching, possessiveness, toxic dynamics, mentions of arguments, morning-after intimacy.

Summary: after having argument you make it up only way you know. Rough sex. So when you wake up next morning and find his back all red and scratched from how hard you went. Only for him to love it.

-----

The first thing you register is warmth. Not just the soft, golden hue of the morning sun breaking through the blinds, but the heat radiating from the body beside you. Rafe. His skin, bare and warm, pressed against yours beneath the tangled sheets. Your limbs feel heavy, the lingering exhaustion from last night still weighing on you, but there’s something else too—a soreness between your thighs, a faint ache in your muscles, a reminder of how things unfolded after that argument.

You shift slightly, turning to face him, and that’s when you see it.

His back.

Your breath catches for a moment as your eyes trace over the angry red marks slashed across his tanned skin. Deep, raw, and unmistakable—the aftermath of your nails dragging down his back, your body clinging to his as he fucked you through your frustration, through every unspoken word and every unresolved fight. The scratches stand out starkly against his skin, fresh and undeniable proof of just how wild last night had been.

You bite your lip, feeling a mix of pride and guilt. You hadn’t even realized you were digging in that hard, but looking at the way the marks line his back, there’s no doubt you claimed him in some way.

Rafe stirs beside you, shifting slightly before letting out a low, sleepy groan. His voice is thick with sleep, muffled against the pillow as he speaks.

"Mmm… you awake?"

He’s still half-asleep, his face turned towards you but his eyes barely open. Without thinking, he leans in, pressing a lazy, drowsy kiss against your shoulder, his lips soft and warm against your skin.

You hesitate before speaking, your fingers lightly grazing over one of the red streaks down his back. "Rafe…"

He hums in response, not fully awake yet.

"You should see what I did to your back," you murmur, running your fingers along another set of scratches. "It looks bad."

That wakes him up.

Rafe shifts onto his side, cracking one eye open as a slow, lazy smirk spreads across his lips. "Yeah?" His voice is still rough with sleep, but there’s amusement in it now. "You worried about me, sweetheart?"

You roll your eyes, but the heat rising in your cheeks betrays you. "I didn’t realize I went that hard."

Rafe finally opens both eyes, his gaze dark and amused as he watches you. Then, without warning, he flips onto his stomach again, stretching his arms above his head, completely unbothered as he settles back against the mattress. "How bad is it?"

"Bad," you admit, tracing one of the deeper marks with your fingertip. "Like… I might’ve actually hurt you."

Rafe chuckles, and the sound is low and smug. "You didn’t hurt me." He turns his head slightly, giving you a lopsided grin. "I like it."

Your stomach tightens at his words.

"You like it?" you repeat, raising an eyebrow.

He nods lazily, completely unashamed. "Hell yeah. It means I fucked you good enough to make you lose control." He glances over his shoulder at you, his smirk widening. "That’s kinda hot, don’t you think?"

You huff, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. If anything, his words send a rush of heat straight to your core.

Rafe must notice because his smirk turns more devilish as he pushes himself up on one elbow, his free hand reaching over to tug you closer. You don’t resist as he pulls you against him, his lips brushing against your collarbone before he trails them up to your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

"Next time," he murmurs against your throat, "maybe you should leave them somewhere I can actually see them."

Your breath hitches, and you hate the way your body immediately responds to him, how the heat from last night still lingers between you. But that’s just how it always is with Rafe. The fights, the passion, the way you always come back together in the most intense, all-consuming way.

[count-on-mi]

Twice Interactive Story Part 17 Protect You (Mina, Feat. Sana, Dahyun)

You slowly fall asleep when you are thinking about Nayeon, Jihyo, and Momo.

When you wake up again, you see Mina is making the alarm for you as usual. It's a new week already, you gonna back to work.

"Thank you Mina." I caress her cheek, and let her continue.

'Morning boss.' Mina smiles at your compliments and continues her work.

You put your hands on her head, slowly guiding her movements. Mina is now licking the rod.

'Are you feeling better at the weekend, boss? I was so worried last time.'

"I'm feeling better Mina. You might want to hurry Mina, we need to get to work."

'Minari is glad that boss feel better, Minari will hurry up.' Mina focus back on your tips, she licks it a while and start swallow your whole cock again.

'OH, Mina, you always do a great job, I am happy to have you as my secretary.' You moan Mina's name due to the pleasure.

'Thanks for the reward, boss. Minari will try to make boss cum sooner next time.' Mina swallows all of your cum and helps you to wear the clothes.

Jihyo and Dahuyn still haven't wake up, so you two leave after breakfast directly. You Starr at Jihyo's room before you leave, and it is noticed by Mina.

'Still fascinating about Miss Jihyo's tits, boss?' Mina caresses your cock when she gets on the car.

"That’s not it Mina. Let's just make sure we're ready for the day." I say as I drive to work.

'Boss, I see the way you look at Miss Jihyo's room, you want more than her tits I can tell.' Your cock is hard again by Mina's touching, she frees it from your pants and start jerking you off.

'Boss, please don't tell to Minari, I can see you are telling lies, Minari wants to help boss, for everything.'

"You can help me in the office Minari, I need to relieve some stress. You'll be getting a lot more than breakfast. So just hold on."

'I'm hungry now, Boss.' Mina bends down and start sucking you while you are driving.

'Miss Sana must want to share boss with Minari when we back to the office, Minari wants some private time with boss.'

'If Boss doesn't want Miss Jihyo's tits, maybe boss can play with Minari's.' Mina unbutton her shirts and show you her tiny tits.

"Mina, I can't drive and play with you at the same time. Let me find us somewhere quiet."

Mina gives you a thumbs up but doesn't stop her mouth, still sucking your cock. Worrying you may crush the car, you just park at a secret place that no one will disturb you.

You adjust your seat and enjoying Mina's blowjob, which you use one of your hands to play with her tits.

'So horny today, Mina?'

'Minari is always horny for boss.'

“Maybe we should spend a day making sure you get all the cum you could ever want." I say as I push Mina's head down. "You're so good to me Mina, I love you."

Mina does not resist, she allows you to push her head deeply to your base. Mina starts choking as you reach her deep throat, but she signals you she is all good and tell you to keep going.

'OH, Mina, such a nice mouth...' You raise your head as the sensation is too much.

As my left hand moves her head my right plays with her nipples, flicking and pulling them.

Mina is more excited as you tease her nipple, she moans even with a dick in her mouth. 'Umm...ummm... ummmm!'

But maybe she is too excited, she starts choking again, she hammers your thigh, wanting you to let go.

I'll let her go and cup her cheek. "Minari is struggling today isn't she?"

'Minari has disappointed boss, sorry.' Mina looks down while she is breathing heavily.

'What does Boss want for compensation?' Mina strokes your dick and grabs your hands on tits, want to keep your excitement.

I move Mina onto my lap, "I think you know what I want Mina."

Mina shyly nods and starts riding you. 'Ah, Minari will make sure boss feels good this time.'

Mina guide your hands to her tits again. 'If you can't play Miss Jihyo's tits for now, use Minari's. Minari will help boss to get Miss Jihyo.' Mina says this before she leans her head to kiss you.

I'll push Mina down while I thrust up. "But I already have you Minari." I start fucking Mina at a good pace soon afterward, kissing her nipple and lightly biting them.

Mina pushes your head toward her chest, she raise her head, enjoying your gentle bite to her nipples. 'Boss, Minari really loves you.' Mina says in a light sound which you cannot hear.

Mina tenses her pussy, making it tighter and you are happier for every thrust.

I bounce Mina on my cock faster driving her toward her orgasm. "I know you want to Cum Mina. Do it."

'Ah, boss, Minari wants boss to cum with Minari.' Minar rides you faster as her orgasm is near. Mina looks right into your eye before kissing you again.

As we kiss, we both orgasm. I fill Mina's pussy with my cum. As we relax i kiss her neck. "We should hurry along now."

Mina raises her head, and let you mark hickeys on her, she just moans when you do it. 'Boss is right, maybe we should continue in office.'

Mina helps you tidy up before you restart the driving, she slowly caressing her belly, feeling your cum inside.

Once we arrive to the office I send Mina in first and wait for a couple of minutes before walking in.

Mina kisses you before she leaves the car. 'See you later, boss.' You wait a couple minutes before going up.

'Having a nice weekend with Mina, boss?' Sana smirks at you when you walk past her seat. 'I wanna join too.'

"Why don't we spend a day at your place instead?" I whisper back before continuing to my office.

'I did send you the invitation, but you reject it.' Sana slap your ass before you go. 'I will find you later, boss.'

You return to your room and see Mina is tiding your desk.

I come up behind Mina, my hands grabbing her tits. "Why are you cleaning my desk little Minari? You know we're just going to make a mess again." I start kissing the back of her neck, and start undoing her shirt.

Mina relax and let you take the initiative, 'Boss, Minari haven't finished yet, can you wait a while?'

But Mina's hands do not stop, it going down and jerks your dick without removing your trousers, soon your have a bulge.

I start tugging at her skirt. "I want to fill you up with more cum Mina, don't you want that too?"

Mina helps you to remove her skirt and panties, she is now fully naked and she put her upper body on the table.

Mina spilled her cilt for you, the cum is slowly dripping out, she gets some of it and tastes it. 'Boss, Minari needs more.'

I waste no time and thrust into Mina. "I'll make sure to give you all the cum you want Mina." I caress her ass as I thrust quickly.

You take Mina from behind and your desk soon becomes messy again. 'Boss, Minari will clean it again, later, ah.'

Mina use one of her hands to grab the table, making sure she is balanced; her another hand goes backwards, pushing you to thrust faster. 'Minari like this so much, boss.'

"I like it too Mina." My cock has become slick with her juices as I continue thrusting into her. It's allowing me to thrust faster and harder, and I give Mina all that I can. I even spank her ass until it becomes a deep red.

Mina moans as you spank her, she grind her ass with you, increasing the friction you thrust in everytime, her pussy is becoming tighter, she is going to cum.

'Boss, Minari is cumming, faster please!' Mina's hand is pushing your hip faster, her ass also moving backwards at the same time.

I follow her orders thrusting faster, "Let's cum together Mina. I'm going to cum inside."

'Um, um, ahh...' Mina stops her moan when she reaches her peaks, you shoot the third time of today in her, Mina's body jerks when you cum in her.

You move to your chair without pulling out, Mina sits on your lap. You slowly wipe the sweat on her forehead, admiring her beautiful side profile.

I pinch her nipples and kiss her neck, "You're one of the most beautiful women in the world Mina. Can you keep going?"

'Only one of them?' Mina pours her face, also raising her head and pushing you harder to her neck.

'Minari always ready for boss, just tell me what you want, tell me what you need, ahhh... Minari will be there for you.' Mina's breathe go heavier as you are pinching her nipple.

I bounce her softly on my cock for a few seconds while I think. "Then how about we have some fun with your ass Mina?"

Mina shyly nods and rides you one more time before she eventually stands up. Mina strokes your dick a few times before sitting back, this time aiming her asshole, slowly putting it in.

'Ah... it's tearing me apart.' Although your cock is lubricated by Mina's sauce, Mina's ass is too tight, she is slowly adopting it.

Meanwhile you hear someone knocking on the door.

'It must be Sana.' You say to Mina

'Miss Sana could wait, boss.' Mina caresses your cheek. 'Enjoy Minari's ass first.'

"Mina what if it’s someone else? We should be careful."

'OK...' Mina is unwilling to let you go, but she obeys your order. She gets up and allows you to answer the door.

You wear back your trousers and walk to the door. It's Dahyun knocking at the door. 'Surprise? Oppa. Can I come in?'

"Not now, Mina is still helping me clean the room up Dahyun" I say through the door while looking at Mina to silently tell her to get dressed. I quickly open the door slightly and and step out, closing the door behind me. "What's with the sudden visit?"

'You know I am finding jobs right oppa? I come for interview today, haha.' You only notice that Dahyun is wearing suit today.

'Can oppa show me where I should go?' She hands you her phone and shows the address of the venue. It's no good, it seems the interviewer is Tzuyu's boss.

"How about you work for me? I could help arrange something, this position you're applying for is with someone I don't want you around. Please Dahyun let me do this for you."

'Come on, Oppa. I am not children anymore, I have my own route to go, and I can't always rely on you, right? I will find the way myself, see you later, Oppa.' Dahyun takes back her phone and turns around to leave.

I grab her arm "Dahyun please, he's the type to harass the women under him. I don't want you to deal with that. I know you're not a child anymore, but I still want to protect you. What's it going to take for me to convince you? I'll do whatever it is."

'Oppa, if you don't like your colleague you don't need to tell me his bad things, just trust Dubu, ok? I can get the job without your help, I will prove it. Oppa, you don't need to convince me, just trust me please.'

Dahyun looks at her watch, 'Not much time left, oppa. I will meet you at lunch, ok?' Dahyun then leaves before you say anything.

Mina comes out from the room when she saw Dahyun is left, 'Why your sister will come, boss? Did she notice Minari is with you, boss?'

"No, she's meeting with the old man from last time." I rush towards Sana to tell her to visit the old man's department and watch over Dahyun. I explain that Dahyun is my step sister and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. If she can do that for me I'll do what she wants for a day.

'OK, no problem, boss.' Sana stands up and is ready to go for Dahyun.

'If that old man wants to fuck me, should I accept it?' Sana looks you playfully.

"Don't you dare, but thanks Sana. I really appreciate it."

'You can check it later yourself.' Sana leaves, you return to your room and wait nervously.

'Boss, Miss Sana is smart enough to handle it, don't worry.' Mina massaging your head while you two are waiting.

"Yeah you're right, she is. I just have to wait. Why don't you get back to work for now Mina. It'll do me no good thinking about it."

'Boss, Minari don't wanna leave you alone...' Mina stands in front of you and cup you cheek. 'Minari wants to help boss.'

"I'm not in the mood to continue what we were doing. How about we go out for lunch then? We'll pick something up for Sana and Dahyun too, just in case."

'Minari just wants boss to be happy.' Mina keep holding your head and kisses you.

'I'm back, oppa... Oh, sorry for interrupting.' Dahyun standing at the door. Mina blushes and rush out of the room.

"How did it go?" I ask without missing a beat.

'So far so good everything.' Dahyun sits opposite you. 'I guess I can get the job, but someone come in during the interview, the girl tells something to the interviewer and then I was told to leave, so strange.'

'How about you, oppa? Who is that girl? Does Nayeon eooni knows?'

"You mean Mina, She's my secretary. She's been helping me deal with everything lately. Work and regular life."

'Your secretary? Would a normal guy kisses her secretary?' Dahyun is ignited by your answer.

'It all starts before you break up with Nayeon eooni?'

"After Dahyun, she confessed her love after I broke up with Nayeon. She spent the day I broke up with Nayeon watching me cry."

'You have accepted it then? Please tell me you didn't.' Dahyun low down her head and ask. 'Nayeon eooni would be sad if you move on that quick.'

'I don't want my chance leaves before I can catch it.' She whispers to herself.

"Not exactly, but we're getting there. She's probably going to ask something soon."

'Can you not accept her, at least for now, Oppa?' Dahyun raises her head, seems she has made up her mind. 'Please?'

"I suppose I can try but I can't guarantee anything. Dahyun how about we go out to dinner after work, celebrate your effort."

'Having dinner with you is good, but I am not receiving an offer yet, will the celebration be too early?' Dahyun not so sure.

Sana enters your room at the same time, 'Hello, boss.'

"Hello Sana, I haven't seen you today. Have you met my step sister Dahyun?" I say hoping that Sana catches on to the fact I want to make it seem that I had no part in her going to Dahyun's interview.

Sana knows what you mean, she pretends she knows nothing. 'Oh, you are Dahyun, such a cutie. Boss always mentioned you, Dahyun comes to cheer up your Oppa today?'

'No, I am coming for interview today.' Dahyun shyly answers.

'I am glad to hear that, hope you can work here too.' Sana pat Dahyun's shoulder, encouraging her.

'But for now, I have something need to report to Boss, would you mind come back later, Dahyun?'

"Dahyun, we'll talk later. We can get dinner, spend sometime together." I say as I usher her out of the room. "What do you have to report Sana?" I ask as I close the door and turn around.

'Of course, about your dear sister, boss.' Sana put her hands on your chest, and whispers in your ears.

'Or you wanna check have I let that old man fucked me first.'

"Tell me what happened with Dahyun, Sana. That's my priority."

'Of course, Dahyun is safe from that old man, you can see it right?' Sana sits on the sofa.

'I didn't directly involve in it, instead I have used Tzuyu, don't you remember that girl?'

"What exactly did you do?"

'We know Tzuyu has a high influence on her boss, so I make a deal with her, if Tzuyu can stop her boss to approach Dahyun, you will get her in your team, but I didn't say the time, it could be now, it could be when she graduates next year.'

'I told Tzuyu to seduce her boss, and let him know if Tzuyu is no longer the only woman in their team, he won't get anything from Tzuyu again.'

'Does Sana satisfy you, boss?'

"Well you did a good job Sana"

'But how to get Tzuyu in our team is something you should handle yourself.' Sana smirks.

'Is it time for my reward now?'

"Do you want it now? Or would you rather get a Saturday all to yourself?" I ask her as I put my hands around her ass.

Sana holds your hand to grab her ass harder, and blow hot winds in your ear. 'Why not both, boss? Do you sure you can hold on?' Sana then start kissing your neck.

"I can always hold it in, so choose wisely."

'Then maybe I should keep it for the weekend, remember what you promise me, ok?' Sana leaves a hickey before she leaves the room.

'And, don't let Mina know, Dahyun too.'

"Yeah, yeah." I start to clean things up and finish the day. I send a message to Dahyun asking where she wants to eat.

[moon-ttokki-x]

oh my god I’m stupid I requested 8, 9, and 39 for the SKZ prompt list but I forgot to ask for which member. Bangchan pretty please 🥺👉👈

hihi this took so long sorry >< . . . this is a lot more angsty than anticipated but i hope it works. i wrote it a little differently that i normally would, but here you go, love~~

stupidly perfect - (best friend!bang chan x reader)

pairing: bang chan x reader

summary: chan has never noticed how you feel for him, and one fateful evening, you let it all spill.

genre: angsty as hell, idol!au, reader lowkey enters their villain era, mentions of eating and drinking, overexcited maknaes, chan is kinda oblivious in this fic ngl, supportive felix, itzy mentions (yeji, ryujin, chaeryoung if that counts ig), this is super sad tbh

a/n: this took a while tbh . . . div by @ferretmilkshakezzz

⛓️ prompts: 8. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." / 9. "You can rest now." / 39. "I can't keep pretending I'm fine."

skz masterlist | skz prompt list

"Y/n, do you wanna come to that ramen restaurant with us later?" Jisung tugs at your arm, skipping alongside you. "We've been wanting to go for ages, and we all finally have schedules off tonight."

"Yeah, come with us," Jeongin adds. "It'll be fun."

The maknaes are tagging all around you as you walk down the hallway, trying your best to keep a hold on all the papers you're carrying. It's difficult when they're fluttering around you like overexcited birds.

You'd taken the job at JYPE around four months ago; it was decided after a very long period of doubting and worrying that it wouldn't work out after what happened at your last workplace. But your best friend, Chan, had been super supportive throughout the whole thing, even offering to help you move into your little apartment down the road from the company. He'd brought some of his friends to help with the heavy lifting, and from there, you'd pretty much been adopted into the group he'd formed and was the leader of.

Not like you had a choice in the first place.

But you didn't mind; you'd been worried partly because of the fact that you wouldn't have any friends when you'd moved to this part of Korea; Chan had managed to inadvertently solve that issue without trying. Now, the four excitable boys skipped and bickered around you as you set down the papers on your office desk. Wiping the minimal sweat from your forehead, you sighed and pried Seungmin away from the trinkets neatly lining your bookshelf.

"Who else is going?" You ask as Jisung whines about you coming to the restaurant for the umpteenth time.

Seungmin shrugs, interrupting his friend. "All of the members, you, and a couple of the girls from our dance crew."

You feel your heart sink just as your brain tells you to agree; it's been ages since you went out with the guys, and you honestly couldn't wait for a break. Work was always stressful around comeback season, but you'd all settled into the rhythm of it soon enough. Spending an evening out with eight of your best friends eating some soul food sounded like a good idea. A better idea than spending the evening on the couch in your apartment, eating ice cream in complete silence. Alone.

You bite your lip, anticipating. "Which of the dance crew girls?"

Jeongin shrugs from the sofa, swinging his legs over a disgusted Seungmin's lap as he lounges back. "The usuals; Yeji, Ryujin, Young-hee, and Chae. Why?"

"No reason," you say, turning back to the bookshelf to unnecessarily reorganise something, fiddling with the solid fabric spine of one of your books. "I'll let you know if I'm coming. Now, clear out."

Your last comment doesn't bother the maknaes at all; they know you don't like your office being messed up, so they call goodbyes, and Jisung sneakily pokes your side as he filters out the door. Felix, however, remains.

You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest and keep a neutral expression as you turn the dark-haired boy. He looks so different from his usual blonde-haired countenance; however, no less beautiful, and not for the first time do you hold yourself back from carding your fingers affectionately through his hair.

You exhale. "Do you need something, Lix?"

He sits down on your chair, swinging it backwards and leaning his forearms across the back. An air of resignation flows around him. "You're not coming tonight, are you?"

You bite your lip. "I'll see."

His voice is quiet. "You've said that since Chae started hanging around us. Is it because of her?"

You scoff, dropping a pen. "No. Why would you think that?"

Felix leans forward on the chair, nosy. "It is because of her, isn't it? Do you not like her? Is it because of Chan-hyung?"

You whip around to face him, exasperated. The explanation bubbles out of you like molten lava from a temperamental volcano. "Okay, fine! I just- I can't stand seeing her around him. They're so close, and they always seem so wrapped up in each other-"

You cut yourself off then, not wanting to say anything you might regret. Chae is nice enough; she's never done anything explicitly hurtful towards you, though you secretly have suspicions that she doesn't like you at all. But you stay quiet, trying to dissipate the rising frustration blooming in your chest.

Felix is quiet.

You know he knows; he's known for ages about your little crush on his leader. You were afraid to tell him, once upon a time; but all you got in response from the affectionate chicken boy was a hushed giggle and a gentle encouragement to tell Chan how you feel. He hasn't told anyone else about your feelings, and you know he would continue to keep his mouth shut. But you wish, even just a little, that someone else would notice and find a way to get Chae away from your best friend.

"No wonder she likes him too," you say quietly to yourself, sinking into your office chair.

And it isn't a wonder, really. Chan is sweet, and gentle, and kind, and so, so, supportive and admirable. There's not a single flaw about him, except perhaps his slight dislike towards himself and his irritation when it comes to those soft, dark curls that frame his perfect face so perfectly-

You shake yourself out of it. Felix is still looking at you quietly, his head tilted in thought.

"You do know," he says carefully, "that you're closer with Chan that Chae is?"

"But still," you groan. "He always seems so much happier around her, and he always only talks to her when you all go out-"

"How would you know?" Felix cries, throwing his hands up. "You're not even there half the time, and Chan only talks to her because you're not there for him to talk to. He has to settle for her because he's fed up of us, and he's not close with Yeji, Ryujin, or Young-hee."

You sigh and hop up onto the desk, swinging your legs over the side. "I just can't stand it, Lix. Seeing them together..."

His expression softens. "I know, Y/n, and I know how frustrated you get when they're all over each other, but you have to at least try. Come with us. If not for him, then for us. We miss you."

"I'm right here."

Felix sighs softly. "That's not what I meant."

You rub two fingers along the bridge of your nose, trying to think straight. You can't get the images out of your mind; Chan and Chae giggling to each other, her touching his arm, him reciprocating the affection... no one said it would hurt this bad when you watch your best friend fall for someone else.

No one said it would hurt this much when you realise that you're in love with said best friend either.

"I can't keep pretending I'm fine," you say, so softly you're not sure Felix hears it. But he does.

"Then don't pretend," he urges gently. "Get him to fall for you. You're halfway there already, I'm pretty sure. But it's not gonna happen if you're always at a distance from him."

He has a point, you think. But, being as stubborn as you are, there's still that nagging doubt in the back of your mind that Chan will never feel the same way that you do, whether you're with him or not-

"Y/n," Felix says, a little more firmly.

You know exactly what he's thinking; sighing, and then bending down to pick up the pen you dropped earlier, you slot it back into the holder on the desk.

"Fine," you say quietly, trying and failing to hide the tiny smile twitching at the corners of your mouth. "I'll come."

Felix lets out a whoop.

.

You pull your jacket a little closer around yourself as you head round the corner, the evening wind whipping your hair into a state of extreme disarray. Sighing and then spluttering as you pull strands of it out of your mouth and eyes, you duck around people and head to the restaurant, its warm, golden light drawing you in like a moth to a flame.

You're not late, so to speak; you spot the group sitting at a large corner booth with comfy seats, mingling and chattering, and you notice Felix immediately. His face lights up when he sees you, half with relief and half with something else you can't quite decipher. He makes to get up before you're almost tackled to the floor by Jisung and Jeongin, who are pretty much hollering at the top of their lungs.

Minho shushes them insistently as he tugs them off you, bowing before shoving both maknaes back into their seats.

"Y/n," Jeongin says happily. "We didn't think you'd come."

You chuckle awkwardly and settle into the spot next to Felix, trying not to look around for Chan like you always do. "Yeah, I needed a break. Besides, you two would have come for my throat if I turned the invitation down one more time."

"Damn right," Jisung interjects, all three of you dissolving into giggles.

You look around then; not everyone is here. Hyunjin and Yeji are still missing, both Hwangs late as per usual, and you know Changbin will come by a little later, having decided to work out before treating himself for the evening. You make a mental note to stick to your work ethic as well as he does, but it's interrupted by the familiar tone of someone speaking your name.

"You look nice, Y/n," Chan says from next to Felix, who is sitting in between both of you.

Chae is sitting next to Chan, you notice with some sadness and displeasure; her long, pinky-blonde hair is straight and neat, long acrylic nails coming up to brush strands of it off her perfect porcelain cheeks, flushed with the cold. At least, you hope it's the cold and not the effect of Chan's probably flirting before you arrived.

Despite the indignance rising in your stomach, you can't help but notice how Chan looks tonight; his hair is slightly damp from the chilly weather outside, the adorably messy strands of it curling against his temples and nape. His eyes are crescents as he gazes into yours, and you fight the urge to reach over and wipe the faint remainder of strawberry milk off the curve of his plush bottom lip.

You know exactly where he'd bought the little drink carton of it from; there's a vending machine just down the street, one that the boys always buy drinks from before eating out. It was their tradition, and one that you gladly partook in, that is before you became too shy to be around the boys.

Because of Chan and his stupid perfectness.

You suddenly come back down to earth and realise that Chan is still gazing at you; Chae is laughing obnoxiously loud in the background behind him, no doubt to recapture his attention, but all you can focus on is the fact that you're locking eyes with the most beautiful person on earth. And also the fact that you haven't replied to his little indirect compliment, so you just nod and turn back to the table to fiddle with the menu in front of you.

Felix exhales discreetly and you fight a grin, watching as he unpeels himself from the corner of the table. He'd been bending over it so you could lean back to talk to Chan, and he pokes you affectionately in the side as you thank him quietly, clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the flush painting your cheeks.

"Could've warned me about how pretty he looks," you mutter to Felix under your breath. He just chuckles and touches your knee as everyone begins to order.

The food arrives just as Hyunjin, Yeji, and Changbin make their dramatically late entrance; they clatter noisily into their seats, and you bump fists with Yeji just as everyone begins to dig in.

There's brief silence as everyone begins to fill their stomachs with soul food, and then the chatter eventually rises again as the members turn to each other to bicker and laugh. You almost snort a noodle out of your mouth as you watch Hyunjin take a hairclip out of his bag to clip his hair back, before realising it's not there. Seungmin, sitting next to him, runs his hand through the boy's kiwi-like hair before turning back to his ramen.

You almost start to enjoy yourself, but there's still that lingering tension that you feel rests in the air between you and Chan; if anyone else has noticed it, they're not saying anything. Felix, noticing your quietness, tries to fill the space between you with small talk and jokes, but it doesn't seem to help. Once or twice, he even brings Chan into the conversation in a bid to try and get you two to converse, but Chae interjects more and more frequently until you quietly tell Felix to stop.

You feel bad because of it; you know he's just trying to help, but it isn't working. And it's beginning to make you feel worse, the fact that it seems not even the dark-haired sunshine boy can get his leader to try and talk to you. And you realise, all of a sudden, that maybe it's not Chan that's the problem.

There are two possible reasons that Chan doesn't seem to want to talk to you; you thought maybe he would talk more with you tonight, considering it's been so long since you've been out with them, but you're crestfallen as you realise that not more than a few words have been exchanged between the two of you tonight.

And it strangely breaks your heart.

The other reason is that Chae might have been badmouthing you behind your back to Chan, or it could be because of the fact that Chan genuinely likes her. You're not sure, but that belief is confirmed as you look across to see Chan holding out his chopsticks to her, bringing a piece of tempura to her perfect, pink lips.

Watching in horror and completely forgetting about the cooling ramen in front of you, you watch as Chae accepts the tempura with a little giggle, batting her lashes at Chan as he reaches up to wipe a crumb off her lip. The sight is so equally disgusting and upsetting that you immediately stand up, moving out of the booth as tears blur your eyes.

"Where are you going?" Jisung calls after you, Felix looking up from his food.

"Bathroom," you call over your shoulder, your voice surprisingly strong considering the fact that tears and beginning to stream down your cheeks.

Not wanting to make a fuss or arouse suspicion from the group, you do actually head to the bathrooms, locking the cubicle door behind you and sinking down against the door. You couldn't care less if it's dirty right now, the only thought in your head the mental image of your best friend and Chae giggling and flirting all over each other, blissfully unaware of your misery.

It's not fair.

"Maybe it's me," you whisper to yourself, sniffling as you rip off a piece of toilet paper, scrubbing at your face. You feel so pathetic and unworthy; what kind of person hides out in the bathroom crying over a guy who probably doesn't even care about them?

Standing up and checking you have your phone and wallet, you sigh as you feel the weight of them in your pockets. Good. You can just leave without having to go back to the table. The last thing you want right now is to talk to anyone, or have to put up a fake cheerful front.

Heading to the back of the restaurant, the once-inviting golden lights now feeling like a spotlight, you emerge out into the street, the cold wind soothing the hot, sticky tear irritation on your cheeks. You head to the parking garage down the street and try to walk as quickly as you can past the opening of the ramen restaurant, lest any of the group notice you walking away.

And they don't, not least until you cross the street and head down the dimly light footpath.

Someone grabs your wrist suddenly and you cry out, whipping your head back so fast to see who it is you think you might have whiplash.

Chan is standing there, his hand solid and warm around your wrist, the wind ruffling his dark hair back from his bare face. You can see the glint of his silver earrings under the streetlights.

"Wait," he pants. "Where are you going?"

You can't fight the hot, wet tear rolling down your cheek and inwardly curse it for escaping. "Home."

"Why?" He asks, concern and worry painting his expression. "Are you not feeling well?"

You fight the urge to slap him; it wouldn't be fair, however much you want to do it. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand any of it. And you want nothing more to run into his arms and spill all your thoughts and feelings like you have so many times before, but you can't.

Not this time.

You can't tell Chan that you've loved him since who knows how long; that seeing him makes your heart feel lighter, the way a high schooler might feel seeing their crush in the sunny hallways. You can't tell him how many times you styled your hair to look a little like his, hoping the curls that make him look so handsome might make you a little more attractive too. You can't tell him how many times you ran late for schedules just because you took a detour to his studio to talk with him, even if it was just for a minute.

Even if all of it was a waste in the end. Because he likes someone else, and that someone else isn't you.

So you just shake your head as the tears come streaming down, and rip your wrist out of his grip before turning and walking away. The earth feels like it's shattering around you.

Or maybe that's just your heart.

But Chan doesn't give up; you hear his footsteps continue behind you, hurried and irregular, like he's trying to decide whether to let you go or make you stay.

"Y/n," he pants. "Wait, just- will you stop walking so fast? Please, wait, slow down- What's wrong?"

"Everything's wrong!" You cry out, turning to face him as you throw your hands up. A sob rips through your lungs, face contorting with the force of your tears. "Okay? Everything's wrong."

Chan is silent, one hand out in an unsteady attempt to calm you. "What are you talking about? You're worrying me."

You scoff and kick a stone across the footpath, harshly rubbing a hand across your cheekbone.

"Y/n, please," he pleads, his voice quieter. "Felix noticed you were gone for too long earlier, and I saw you walking out of the restaurant. Please, tell me what's wrong. You look so upset."

"Then stop looking."

He recoils, looking slightly hurt, before it's overtaken by a look of determination. You know that look; it either results in an all-nighter to finish a song track, an attempt to wrangle seven naughty kids, or a hard-to-have conversation. You know it's the last one.

"Please," he says, even quieter. "Tell me what's wrong. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"It's you," you say, broken with utter resignation.

He takes a step forward. "What?"

"It's you," you repeat, looking away as another hysterical sob brings the wind inside your body. It's sharp and biting, and it brings back some of your courage. But only some.

You raise your eyes to look at him. Maybe this is the last conversation you'll have with Chan, before he decides he doesn't want to be around someone who's in a one-way love story with him. Even if that person is his best friend.

"You don't realise, do you?" You whisper brokenly. "You never realised I was in love with you, Chan. But that's just who you are. You may be kind and compassionate and intuitive, but you never realised why I do what I do, or why I act the way I act around you."

His face is contorted in utter disbelief; whether it's from shock or disgust, you don't want to know.

"I realised around the time you helped me move in," you continue. Might as well get all of it out now. "I looked at you differently after a while. I didn't see my best friend anymore. I saw someone else, someone stronger and more clever and more dedicated and more perfect and flawless. And it was strange, because I realised that you changed so much. Maybe I changed too, but it was different seeing you walking around at the company and going about your schedules, because I felt different about it all. I felt different about you. And I couldn't let it go, not least when we actually talked. I used to be late for most of my meetings and events because I would take detours to see you. Some days I would think about canceling my schedules just so I could be around you more.

"And I love the boys, I do, Chan. So much. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be around them half as much if you weren't there. I felt so drawn to you, not like the way I did when we were friends. I figured that if I didn't want to lose you, I would have to discipline myself. So I did.

"I threw myself into my work; I gave myself so much to do, partially to distract myself, partially to use work as an excuse whenever I was invited out, like tonight. Just because I knew you would be there, and I didn't want to end up spilling it all to you, because I knew it would ruin everything between us. Forever.

"And when Chae started hanging around us, I didn't mind at first; I sort of liked her. But I started hating her because of how close she would get to you, how much you two would secretly talk between yourselves, and it made me upset. So I ended up spending much more time by myself so that I would be able to forget she existed. So that I could forget that she ever entered the picture, and that it was just me and my secret that I kept from you. For so long, Chan. You have no idea how much I had to hold myself back from you.

"Did you assume that I never wanted to go out with you guys? That I never wanted to buy drinks from that vending machine the members always go to before eating out, or that I didn't want to spend time with you? Because I did, Chan. But I forced myself not to, because I couldn't bear to see you, and most of the time I didn't know if Chae was going to be there. I told myself I wasn't going to sit there and watch you be with her, not while I felt so invisible and unseen around you.

"Let me tell you something, Chan," you choke through sobs at him, pointing a finger at his chest as though it were a gun. "Every time Jisung or Jeongin or one of the boys invited me out, I did actually show up. Even if you never saw me. I would watch from a distance to see if Chae was with you; if she was, I would turn around and leave, and go home. If not, I would smile from around the corner as the maknaes begged you for money to buy drinks from that vending machine. And then I would turn around and go home anyway.

"I know every single one of their preferences; even if you didn't know I was there to observe them bickering and choosing, faces lit by streetlight. I would go around to the vending machines at the company and randomly buy their favourites for them, even if you didn't know how I knew. I would buy them for you too, and debate leaving a little note for you telling you how I felt alongside it, and I never did.

"Because, despite all of that, it was all a waste," you snap at him. You're not sure why you're angry; you suppose it's the result of feeling unheard for so long. "It was a waste, Chan. Because you never even noticed how I felt. So don't come chasing after me in the night like this like you care, because it was Felix who told you to come after me, Felix who noticed I had been gone for too long, not you of your own accord. And don't look worried or concerned either, because I've told you what's wrong, Chan, just as you asked. You can rest now."

You can barely see him through the blur of your tears.

"Y/n," he whispers, broken as you feel. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't care," you cry out at him, turning and storming in the other direction. And this time, he doesn't follow, still standing under the streetlight with his hand out, though you're not there to take it.

You sob bitterly as you almost flee around the corner, breaking out into a full-on run, like sprinting can fix the problem, fix your heart and your tears. It doesn't, however, and you feel worse as you bolt pass the crossing light, not caring about its colour. Later you will realise that running with blurry vision and a hysterical, heartbroken mindset was not the wisest idea.

You don't see the car speeding towards you until it's too late.

a/n: *laughs in writer*

[bluemantics]

When he looks in the mirror, sometimes Keith searches for Shiro. He tilts his head, eyes tracing his nose, his hair, wondering if blinking hard enough will change things. It never does. 

Keith knows it’s stupid— Shiro isn’t actually his brother. It’s just difficult for him to watch that empty seat in the dining room, hard for him to hear the deafening gaps in conversation Shiro would fill. 

So he looks, and he tries. When Allura approaches him to strategize, his mind races to Shiro’s normal responses. If Pidge seems to work harder than normal, he lectures her, ignoring her muttered “isn’t that rich, from you.” Hunk cooks and Keith remarks on how delicious it tastes, thanks him for feeding the team. All of this leads to stares. 

Nothing is seamless anymore, not even waking up. He has to walk by Shiro’s room every day. One time, he stepped foot inside, and left immediately after. Shiro’s walls closed in and suffocated him, pressured him. It still feels wrong to be occupying any space where his echoes ring out. 

Black is no different. She reminds him that she knows, she knows he is not Shiro, tries to comfort him with soothing pulses. Yet all he can see when he looks through her eyes is someone who is smaller, angrier, and vulnerable. He can’t get comfortable in his seat. Keith never envisioned himself at the helm of anything, much less the team designed to save the whole universe. When he’s alone, and thinks of it too much, a gap between his ribs aches. 

This team might be destined to save the universe, but Keith Kogane was never destined to lead it. 

The worst times are when he forgets. He lets himself feel eased, laughs with the team like it’s natural, issues orders without deliberation or second guessing. In those instances, guilt weighs on him like a thundercloud. How could he have felt so familiar in someone else’s role? Keith quickly retreats, reminds himself of his place. Not the helm; he’s the stand-in. 

All this self-loathing would be so much easier if it weren’t for Lance, badgering him constantly. Day in and day out, his new “right hand” constantly pushes him. 

“Join us for dinner or I won’t participate in tomorrow’s training exercises.”

“Team movie night! Your turn to choose.”

“Are you sure that’s the right plan? I’ve been thinking—“

It’s fucking annoying when he’s thinking, but it’s all Lance seems to do. He offers up opinions constantly without being asked, shows up to meetings between Keith and Allura, knocks on his door after difficult missions. Keith can’t remember doing any of this when he was supposedly Shiro’s right hand. 

“Why are you always on my tail, Lance?” Keith demands after a particular comment. 

“Because you need it.”

Lance has a new confidence when he speaks, a bravado that doesn’t need flowery words. His voice is sure. 

Keith knows he’s right. Part of him secretly relishes Lance’s feedback, uses his presence as a crutch. Another part of him is ashamed to rely on anyone at all. Shiro stood tall as a lone watchdog over them and barely needed help from anyone, much less the mess that was Keith. It makes him doubt his older brother’s judgement in choosing him for Black. 

He’s exhausted from questioning himself, his brother, his teammates. At night, he tosses and turns, and every time he tries to train, Lance stops him—or worse—joins him. Keith has a looser grip on his sword and his words at night. Control slipping, he worries he will say the wrong thing as Lance takes him down with newfound skill that only time and practice bring. 

“Since when did you get good at this?” Keith heaves from the ground, chest rising and falling quickly. Lance stands over him, smiling widely with pride. 

“Since you needed a new sparring partner.”

Keith notices Lance doing this a lot lately, anticipating everyone’s needs. Suddenly, Lance wraps Pidge in blankets, tells Hunk not to worry about a broken gadget, and comforts the Alteans by listening to their stories. 

With a pang, Keith realizes something: Lance is a better leader. The whole team probably knows it by now. Effortlessly, Lance fills new shoes without so much as a complaint, while Keith flounders trying to shove his square-shaped self into a circular opening. 

When Shiro comes back, Keith doesn’t even register the differences between This Shiro and His Shiro. He grew up with nothing, so he isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Instead, he did what he’d been itching to do since he first stepped in Black. 

Keith ran away.

When he’s alone in his quarters at the Blade, he looks in mirrors. He searches for traces of Lance and sees none. Hands cold and stiff, he covers the looking glass with a sheet, unwilling to stare back at an unworthy face.

[bunni-v1]

MORE JEALOUS PURE VANILLA COOKIE OMGGGG he'd totally be a jealous person despite his kindness

kinda imagining that in the stage during the push and pull he was doing, trying to push you away, you become quite close to some other cookies in the kingdom, specifically the creme Republic (clotted cream and financier) and he just gets.... uncomfortable when you two are FINALLY together because you're so friendly with clotted cream and his bodyguard.... like, hello.........

his eyes narrow slightly, and it just makes him feel so unpleasant, knowing that clotted cream cookie can easily strike up conversation with you and randomly tell him something you like—it makes his dough seethe slightly, whether he wants to admit it or not. or how financier and some random vanilla kingdom npcs mention a fact about you he coincidentally doesn't know because he was busy going through it and pushing you away before; OUGHHHHHH

i like to think white lily is involved in this in some way? he can't fully get over her and sometimes he tends to get passive about your very real concerns about how he looks at her as though he has something to say, i wonder how he would react if he finds you actually a bit insecure or unsure whether he'd pick you over her......... since he still cares deeply about his once first love, no?

anyways. yes. jealous PV is a concept that sticks heavily in my mind rn

-🃏

Jealousy Looks Ugly on You

🍓Hi pookiebear, I'm so sorry for 100% butchering the Creme Republic. I refuse to play that shit, even for that stupid blonde twink. Note, this takes place significantly after the events of Beast Yeast, so White Lily is technically visiting as a diplomat from the Faerie kingdom, and pv has already had his character development lol. Assumptions are made, and there is heavily implied past PureLily.

Tw: Poor communication; jealousy; implications at the very end; grammar/spelling errors

Info: Pure Vanilla x Reader; Implied past purelily; angst (not really though); fluff

Patience is a virtue that few cookies can claim to have. It's something that doesn't come easy to most, and Pure Vanilla Cookie has never judged anyone for being unable to hold themselves back from frustration. Except... himself of course.

He was exceptionally patient, to the point most gawked at him for his gentleness and understanding in certain situations. He held himself to a higher standard, and very few things brought out irritation in him. So... why exactly was the sight of Clotted Cream Cookie making his dough run so hot right now?

It wasn't as though Clotted Cream was doing anything offensive, quite the opposite actually. He was having a pleasant conversation, all warm smiles and... gentle touches. With who? Oh. Just the object of Pure Vanilla's deepest affections, the cookie he'd only recently been able to call his other half, his dearly beloved you.

Clotted Cream seems to speak to you with such familiarity, such warmth like perhaps he too harbors some kind of affection for you. Pure Vanilla's eyebrow twitches when he leans in to whisper something in your ear, and you laugh like it's the funniest thing you've ever heard. It nearly pulls a frown out of him, but his calm smile remains steadfast, not wanting you to notice and worry over him.

Still, his eyes narrow when Clotted Cream pats you on your shoulder good-naturedly. The former cookie locking eyes with him and smiling before sending you back to his side like he hadn't earned Pure Vanilla's ire only seconds ago. You are oblivious, as you always are, as he wants you to be. He only smiles at you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you just a little closer than he normally does.

"Did you enjoy your time with Clotted Cream Cookie, my love?" He asks sweetly, though he doesn't really want to know.

You give him a beaming smile, "As always. He knows how to make boring proceedings fun."

"Ah," he hopes you don't notice how he tenses, "What were you talking about just now, it seemed funny."

"Just an inside joke," you smile fondly as you remember, "it's only funny if you were there, or else I'd let you in on it too."

"That's alright," he hums, though his fingers press a little harder into your side as you walk, "I'm just happy to see you happy."

It's not a lie, either. He does love seeing your smile, but not when it's caused by another cookie. Not when it's treated like some kind of secret he's not meant to see. He tries to remind himself that there's no need to be so immature, but his dough is already warm and his mind spiraling. It took him so very long to come to terms with his feelings for you, he missed out on so much. Where he wasn't, other cookies were, and those cookies took his place in experiences that should've been his. Took smiles that should've been his. Moments he should've shared with you.

You place your hand where he holds you at your waist, turning to give him a warm smile. It warms his heart to know you're caring for him in your own way, but he doesn't want to make you worry. To ease your mind, he presses a kiss to your forehead, offering his own smile up to you. You were with him now, there was no need to worry any longer.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

Pure Vanilla enjoyed quiet moments with you, especially ones like this. In the garden, surrounded by the white lilies there was nothing more peaceful than that. Your fingers run along their delicate petals as you hum a little tune to yourself, and he enjoys the sight with unbridled delight. His favorite cookie surrounded by his favorite flowers, what a blessing it is on his soul.

There are times where he wishes that every day could be like this. Just you and him in company, taking things nice and slow, soaking in the environment. You turn a little to sneak a glance at him, smiling to yourself when you notice his staring. The shyness cute on your face, something he loves to draw out of you.

Yes moments like these are exactly what he lives fo—

“Y/n Cookie? Are you around?” The familiar voice of Financier Cookie calls amongst the sea of flowers.

You perk up, standing from your spot with a wide smile, “I’m over here with the lilies!”

She comes into view around the corner, normally stern expression softening at the sight of you. Pure Vanilla does not like the look on her face. Still, he holds his tongue, there was no reason to be upset. She was a friend.

“Clotted Cream requests your presence,” She announces, and when you frown she shakes her head, “Nothing serious, he wishes to continue your conversation from yesterday. He’s in he quarters as usual.”

You brighten up, “Oh! I suppose we never did finish talking— ah, but… Pure Vanilla and I were spending some time together.”

He does not frown, though he really wants to. He knows that he could just say no, that you would remain by his side if he asked… but he can’t possibly take up your time when you are wanted elsewhere. It would be unfair to do so over such petty jealousy.

“We see each other every day,” He assures with that same gentle smile, “Go and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”

You frown a little, “Are you sure?”

Of course he isn’t, “Positive. I’ll see you tonight.”

You hesitate for a moment, glancing at him worriedly, but ultimately wander off to find Clotted Cream. Financier stays back for a moment, watching you with an odd look on her face. The consideration is enough to pique his interest, so he raises his question.

“Is something the matter…?”

“Oh, no, nothing,” She shakes her head, “I would tell you immediately if there was anything to be concerned with.”

“Then why do you look so perplexed?” He asks again.

She seems to consider if telling him the truth is worth it or not. Mulling her options over for a few seconds before sighing, “It’s just a bit… odd to see them here.”

He frowns, “Whatever do you mean? Is there something wrong with the gardens?”

She shakes her head, sighing off some kind of weight, “Well, they’ve told me a few times in passing that they’re… not a fan of while lillie’s. The smell irritates them, if I’m remembering correctly, so it’s surprising to find them surrounded by them.”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware…” He mutters, grip tightening on his staff.

She gives him a small reassuring smile, but it does anything but help, “I’m sure they just forgot to mention it, that’s all.”

“Of course, thank you Financier Cookie,” He hummed with as much sincerity he could muster.

She smiles tightly at him, and then leaves him alone with his thoughts. And think he does, far too much. Not only are you so close with so many cookies, not only did you leave him for Clotted Cream today, but now he learns you don’t even care for his favorite flower? You hadn’t ever mentioned it to him, but you had to other cookies. Wouldn’t something this important be worth talking about with him?

He takes a deep breath, leveling himself out once again. He couldn’t get ahead of himself, knowing that you would never do anything to hurt him purposefully. He couldn’t stop the ache, though. There was so much he did not know about you, so many things he had to learn that other cookies got to hear without asking.

How much time would it take for him to know you the way they did? He burned with jealousy at how easy it was for other cookies to know you, to see you and talk to you with no effort. Each time you were around he felt himself falling apart at the seams, grasping at any little sprinkle of attention you gave him. He could never be so casual with you, not with the effect you had on him, and it made him so jealous to know other cookies had it so easy.

He sighs again, setting his hat down. Not even the lilies were bringing him comfort now, his mood soured yet again. All he could do was sit and seethe until you returned to his side, imagining what you and Clotted Cream might be talking about that was so important to pluck you from his side.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

It is days of this cycle, which he refuses to break, even when given the chance to a million times. He just can’t find it in himself to step in, not when you seem so happy. Besides, it’s not as though he never sees you. He gets to have you to himself for most of the day, and especially at night.

Still, the annoyance grows in his chest little by little. Without realizing it he distanced himself from you, not wanting to overstep, he decides giving you space is for the best. Yet, he doesn’t realize just how much space he has given you. You begin to miss him, but he always has an excuse for you to go and visit with other cookies.

It feels like he does not want you around, even though he misses you dearly. The conundrum reaches a head when White Lily comes to visit. Being the Faerie Queen now, it was rare she took the time to see her old friend. So when the news of her traveling reached his ears, he cleared all his time to be with her.

You had not seen him since she had arrived, unless you were in your shared room. Even then, you hardly spoke more than a few words. There was an awkwardness there that hadn’t existed only a few days prior, it made your stomach ache. But how could you bring up your concerns when he merely brushed them away, always finding some way to make peace with the situation.

You did not hate White Lily Cookie, she couldn’t not control Pure Vanilla. But the sickness in your dough when you see them together does not go away with any soothing. He talks to her with such ease and knowing, in a way he never did with you. And when he looks at her there is a deep affection that never existed for you.

It makes you hurt. You could never be her, not in a million years. Perhaps that was why he was so distant recently, because he had missed her. Perhaps he wished that you were White Lily Cookie instead.

Despite him seeming oblivious, he was anything but. He was fully aware of the distance he had made between the two of you, and yet… he didn’t know how to fix it. His people pleasing ways had come around to stab him in the back, and he had no idea how to heal the wound inflicted by his own foolish actions.

Not until White Lily’s keen eyes picked up in the tension. She had always been able to read him well, it was why he was so fond of her. She knew him like no other cookie did, and he her. Which is exactly why she was the one to notice how worried he’d seemed.

“You’re tense,” She said simply, taking her seat next to him in the pagoda.

He sighs, “Is it obvious.”

“To me,” She smiles, “Tell me what’s on your mind, friend. It’s rare to see you so worried.”

He frowns at her, all the tension and fear from the week flooding him now that she was confronting it, “I am afraid I may be ruining my relationship.”

She blinks at him, tilting her head, “How would you be doing that?”

After a moments hesitation he lists the ways he has been dealing with the situation. The worry that he will never be close enough to you. The annoyance in his chest when other cookies are chummy with you. The distance he has created to avoid those feeling only making them worse. She smiles through the whole thing, knowingly.

“So… you’re jealous?” She chuckles, leaning forward with a teasing smile.

“I… suppose I am,” He admits, “It’s not as though the feeling is new, but it’s never been so strong…”

She laughs at him again, “Because you are in love, silly. Of course it’s stronger, have you talked to them about it.”

“Well…”

“Pure Vanilla.” She scolds, “Goodness, when will you ever learn. You can’t people please all the time, it’s not good for your health.”

He sighs, nodding along in agreement, “I know, I just don’t know how to bring it up so I deflect. And I’ve been avoiding them since you arrived, I can tell they feel horrible, but I fear I’ve gone too far.”

She hushes him, grabbing his hand in her own, “It’s never too late if the intent is there. I’m sure they’ll understand if you just talk to them. I would.”

“Thank you White Lily,” He smiles genuinely for the first time since she arrived, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

She smiles warmly at him, squeezing his hand tightly. She always had a way to ease his worries with her words. It was just how well she knew him, she knew just what he needed as always.

A throat clears to the side of them, drawing their attention to it. White Lily reacts first, pulling her hands away from him and offering you a smile.

“Am I interrupting?” You ask, mousy with voice shaking.

“Of course not,” She assures, “We were just talking about you, actually!”

Your expression relaxes a bit, inching forward as if one of them might deny you entry, “Nothing bad I hope…”

“Never,” Pure Vanilla speaks with such warmth that you almost forget how much you’d missed him this whole time, “Please come join us.”

So you do, and you sit and talk with them, and things are nearly normal. Pure Vanilla is back to his usual affectionate self, like nothing ever happened. But you catch the way he and White Lily exchange glances, the way banter comes to them more easily than it ever has to you. They just understood each other in a way you never have, and you couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. Especially not after he’d pushed you away so much.

Eventually, White Lily leaves with the excuse of needing rest. Yet, you know it’s to give the two of you space. She’s always been observant and understanding, and you’re grateful for her consideration. When it is just you and Pure Vanilla again, you feel the tension begin to creep back between you. The thick wall of awkwardness wedging between you, and you fear for a moment that this is how it will be forever now. Then, he takes your hands in his, leaning over the table to get closer to you.

“I have to apologize,” He begins, “I have been unfair to you, and we have both suffered because of my actions.”

“Pure Vanilla—“ You want to ease his worries for some reason, tell him it’s alright, but he doesn’t allow you to.

“It took me a very long time to let you in, and because of that I fell short on sharing important moments with you. I’ve found myself… envious of other cookies who take up your time, and I’ve been immature in how I handle it,” He admits, stroking the backs of your hands, “I’ve put too much distance between us, and I can see how much it pains you. I’m so sorry for how I’ve acted, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”

It takes you a moment of awkward blinking to take in all he said, and while his genuineness is sweet, you can’t help the laugh that bubbles from your stomach. It’s ridiculous when you think about it. He was jealous so he avoided you, and at the same time you were just as jealous of White Lily Cookie. It was silly, and so easily solved, yet neither of you were willing to upset the other. He seems to find the humor in it all too, laughing heartily at your side.

You laugh until your sides hurt and tears are streaming from your eyes. Leaning your full weight on him so you don’t collapse to the floor. When you finally calm, you find it in yourself to admit to your own plight.

“I would be harsh on you, but I’m just as guilty of jealousy.” You sigh, squeezing his fingers in yours.

“What do you have to be jealous of?” He asks, and you almost can’t believe he doesn’t know. It’s so obvious to everyone else around him that he still adores White Lily, everyone but him it seems.

You shake your head in disbelief, “Gosh, you’re so oblivious. You really don’t know how you look at her, do you?”

He shakes his head with a deep frown.

“When you look at White Lily, I can see how much you still love her. I know you would never hurt me or betray me like that, but it does hurt when I see how you treat her. I feel like… maybe you’ll never look at me like that.” You admit, voice small and shaky the longer you go. It was hard to come to terms with how much it hurt, and worse to say out loud to him. He could reject you, pretend your feelings aren’t real.

Instead, he tucks a finger under you chin and forces your eyes on him, “I already do… I just get so embarrassed when you’re looking that I hide it from you.”

He pulls you a little closer, “I still love White Lily, but not in the same way that I love you. You are my whole world, my love. I would never leave you, not for anyone, and I’m sorry I made you worry for even a moment.”

You smile softly at him, leaning into his touch, “Next time, I think we should both just talk about it? All this dodging each other is silly.”

“I agree,” He chuckles, “I much prefer talking to you than not.”

“Very good,” You hum, sliding your arms around his shoulders, “Shall we make it up to each other then?”

His hand tug you closer by your waist, “I think that would be very nice, yes.”

[daengtokki]

part ten // serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: 12.1k

RATING: mature/mdni—contains: fluff, hospital/nicu settings, choking (mentioned), meds (mentioned), manipulation, hallucinations, things staring ominously from a distance switching povs

SYNOPSIS: Seungmin floats through life alone, haunted by his memories—keeping himself under control, and quieting his mind the only way he knows how…killing and watching the life leave his victims eyes. When you cross his path on a morning hunt, something new (something forgotten) starts to move inside of him, leading both of you on a path to confront the unspeakable past.

COMMENTS: 700 followers is crazyyyy, thank you so much for hanging out with me! My giveaway will be up within the next few days as a proper thank you to all of my readers, rebloggers, and those who leave me lovely comments and messages!

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Seungmin is terrified at the idea of picking them up and holding them, and his soft touches are still making him nervous regardless of them becoming more receptive to it. They know he’s here, and they know you’re here, and you think being held, together, is exactly what they want and need, but he looks at them and sees the same paper butterflies he just folded.

“When the nurse comes back, maybe she can show us how to pick them up without upsetting them.”

He beams and nods, “I do want to hold them. You should be holding them…are you able to feed them?”

The call button plays a cute melody when you push it. “Oh, no…I wish I could, but—“ you look down at yourself and cup your breasts in your hands. They have grown, and they are sore, but you haven’t noticed anything significant happening. You might need some help.

“That’s okay. That’s why we have special formula for them until you can. And if you can’t…oh, please don’t cry.” You watch him move through bleary eyes, and he carefully lifts himself onto the bed. “You’ve worked so hard today, and you’re tired.”

“What if it never comes, and I can’t feed them?”

Before he can continue his attempts at comforting you, the nurse returns. “Is everything alright?”

“She’s upset that she can’t feed them”

“Don’t worry yourself too much. They’ll be tube fed for a while before we try a bottle, or breastfeeding. But we have nurses to help with that, and I’ll have one visit sometime today to put your mind at ease.”

The top being taken off the incubator makes Seungmin nervous all over again; seeing them exposed, breathing and feeling the same air as him. But he needs to hold them, so he watches the nurse pick Haesung up with soft, open palms. She bends and brings him closer, rubs his back with two fingers, and hands him to you.

“Just like that—good. Skin touching skin, just what he needs.”

She does the same with Haneul, but this time, it’s Seungmin’s turn. He places one hand carefully on his back; the other cups his tiny diapered butt and holds him close. He’s perfectly still, but you can see the rise and fall of his chest, and Haneul moving along with it. His eyes open, just barely, and close again—when you look down, Haesung is doing the same, and from here you see the dark of his eyes each time they flutter open.

“They’re much cuter than they were on the ultrasound.” Seungmin laughs and gives moving a try. He sits back in his chair, and his fingers glide across the nape of Haneul’s neck. “His eyes are lighter than I expected.”

“Yeah, Haesung’s look kind of hazel, but they’ll probably get darker over the next few months.”

The sound of Seungmin’s phone startles you. It’s Heecheol, you assume, but he’s not paying it any mind. Every bit of his attention is on Haneul, and you don’t expect that to change until he’s safe in the incubator again. It’s another few minutes before the nurse returns, and when she does, Seungmin reluctantly gives him up so he can join his brother on your chest.

“Was that him?”

“Who?”

“Your phone”

He leans forward and taps his screen, “yes, it’s him. Uhm, he said he’s going to head back to the apartment, but he would love to see a photo of the babies.”

You drape your arm over their backs, and they gradually shift closer. It’s fascinating to watch them gravitate toward each other like two little magnets. “Yeah, we should probably take some photos while we have them here with us.”

Seungmin starts getting them from every angle he can, but it doesn’t take long before he’s distracted enough to stop and talk to them again. He moves to your other side and talks to Haesung, who seems to have fallen into a good sleep. “Okay, one more.”

Several hours later, Seungmin makes it home, and it’s only because you finally convinced him he needed to shower and eat. And you need to make me breakfast for tomorrow morning…please. He will, and maybe lunch, too. He’s almost completely forgotten about his antics before the labor started, and how much of a blur disposing and cleaning up became. It isn’t until he walks past the vacant apartment that he remembers leaving the body in there; well-wrapped, but still…it’s just sitting there, a few feet from the door. No smell, thank god, he thinks. At least not to him. Heecheol is still on the other side of this apartments wall, unless he left unannounced, and he might notice something Seungmin doesn’t.

He’s sitting in the living room—television on and playing one of the crime dramas you like so much. There’s one crib together next to him, and the other is halfway there. Seungmin wonders what else he did while he was here all alone.

“Hey dad, welcome back”

The smell of grilled beef, and something a little spicy hits his nose. “Cheoli, you didn’t have to do all this by yourself.” But his stomach grumbles at the thought of dinner, and he knows after he eats, he’s going to crash again.

“It wasn’t much. Besides, I helped myself to a few beers and the snack stash in the cupboard.”

“And made dinner”

“Your boys look good for twenty-five weeks. I think they’ll be okay, and you’ll have them home in no time.”

Seungmin watches him curiously as he heads for the finished crib. “You think?”

“Five…six weeks, maybe. But it could be as long as her original due date.”

“June 1st…I wasn’t even thinking about what day it was. Their birthday is June 1st.”

“Gemini,” Heecheol laughs. “You have Gemini snakes.” He’s uneasy as he sits here looking up at Seungmin, but not enough to leave, and not enough to keep himself from being happy for his friend. “Did you take any other photos?”

His phone is out before Heecheol even finishes the question, and suddenly, Seungmin is one of those annoying parents who can’t wait to show off their kids. “I did.” He pulls the last one up, and hands his phone over as he makes himself comfortable on the floor.

“They already look like you. Which one is this?”

“That’s Haesung…the youngest”

“Ocean, or sun?”

“Sun”

Heecheol nods. “And the oldest?”

“Haneul”

“Just like you. And I’m sensing a pattern with this family. Sky, moon, sun, sky again.”

He isn’t sure how that happened, but it worked out perfectly, and everything about it feels right. “What was your name when you lived in the states?”

“Hale”

“Hail? Like ice, like a hailstorm?”

“Yeah, just spelled differently. I wanted to keep the H sound, but I didn’t like most of the names suggested to me.”

“I like it. You kinda fit.”

He fits? Heecheol isn’t entirely sure how he fits, but if Seungmin says he does, then he must. The more he thinks about it, the less strange it seems. He is still here, after all. Why? What the hell has gotten into him?

***

One more gentle push, and the crib is just where it needs to be. The bed is still in the way, of course, but it’ll have to be in the way until he finally leaves. When the hell is he going to leave? If I leave now, I might never come back, he thinks. Any little excuse will easily keep him away, as it should, but first Heecheol has to disconnect himself from something he’s needed for so long. But it’s not a need for friendship keeping him here. No. It’s something else.

“They look great, thank you.” Seungmin peeks in and smiles in a way reserved only for you and him. It’s still hesitant, but enough to half-close his big brown eyes, and enough to make Heecheol’s stomach do a somersault.

“No big deal. I like putting things together, so if there’s anything else…”

“Let’s eat first.”

The question gets closer and closer to the tip of his tongue as he watches Seungmin eat, and he’s eating well. He’s enjoying himself, and it’s the calmest he’s seen him since he was a few beers in at the baseball game Friday night. But it’s been nagging at him since you mentioned it. “I don’t wanna pry too much, even though seeing your meds might be as personal as things get…”

“You can pry.” Seungmin means it, even if his heart does race a little at the thought of a personal question, especially after what happened last night.

“Tokki mentioned something to me before we went to the hospital, and I was curious about it.”

Seungmin just nods—relieved it’s not about last night.

“Something about you wandering into the woods back home…if you’d ever done that when we were kids. And something about an incident with your stepfather.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, maybe it’s too much.” He waves it away and tries to think of a new subject, but nothing comes to him. The mood of the room has already shifted, and everything is now the pine forest. It’s all he can see in the back of his eyes—the silhouette of the trees against a cloudy night sky; the silence; the heavyness and the feeling of something clinging to your back as you weaved through the trees. “We don’t have to…”

“She told you I went into the woods that night?”

It seems like he might get more information than he intended. “Not…no, not exactly. She asked if you’d done it when you were a kid. And she asked if I’d ever seen anything strange in there.” He lied right to your face and told you no. “Why did she ask, and why do I suddenly remember what we saw? I pushed it so far down, and now I can’t get it out of my head.”

“We didn’t see anything, Cheoli. Just a shadow. Just heard some sounds.”

“And smells. The feeling of something crawling under my skin.”

Seungmin closes his eyes and sees the scratches his nine year old self clawed up his arms. The itch that his nails couldn’t fix; the garden shears couldn’t fix it, either, but he never knows for sure until he tries. Only one thing stops it. “I’m sorry that you remember.”

“So you went back in there, alone?”

“I don’t have an answer for you, just like I don’t have one for her. But yes. I went in, and she had to come find me, and I don’t remember what I did when I was in there.”

Heecheol nods firmly, hoping it signals a change in the conversation. Bringing it up did not make him feel any better.

“My stepdad drove me a mile in that winter. He dropped me off and left me there, and I cried and screamed for hours until she found me.”

The cruelness of his stepfather had no limits. Heecheol knew that before he learned about this—he didn’t think it could get worse than being pushed down the stairs, or locked in the shed all night. “I’m sorry, Mo. I wish I would have been there for you.” Killing his mother still takes the prize, though.

“I needed medicated before that happened. I needed it even more after. But…it’s still there.”

Heecheol knows he’s getting much more than he intended. He’s getting answers for the question he asked, and the one still sitting in his head, too. The professional part of him knows schizophrenia more frequently manifests in self-harm than it does murder, but it does happen. He finds himself staring at the thin scar on Seungmin’s forearm as more pieces fit together. “Did something happen when he left you there?”

Seungmin remembers it in pieces, and it comes to him like most of his dreams; disjointed and confusing. The memory returned to him slowly, over several nights in Daegu. Not even you know the details of this particular nightmare. “It was late afternoon when we went in, so most of my time there was at dusk…and dusk may as well have been night in those woods. But when night came, well—”

“What did you see?”

“It saw me more than I saw it, but I did see what it wanted me to see. It peeked from behind the trees, and it whispered…I think. I could hear something in my head…noises, vibrations…”

scratch scratch

“No…” Seungmin mutters. “Not now.”

“What?”

scratch scratch

The prickle of goosebumps moves down his arms; his stomach lurches. “Did you hear that?” He asks Heecheol, already knowing the answer. “The scratching?”

He waits a moment and listens before shaking his head. “I didn’t hear any scratching.”

Not now, he thinks, and his head falls into his hands. A few deep breaths might help, so he peeks through his fingers and focuses on the movements of his feet. One deep breath, and Heecheol’s hand moves gently over his back. It does the opposite of what Seungmin thinks it will—it calms him, just like yours does. The warmth is a welcome change to the cold sweat washing over him. “It’s not there…” he whispers.

“No, probably not.”

scratch scratch

“Fuck…last night didn’t matter.”

Heecheol chooses to ignore that comment for the moment. “Where is it coming from? The front door?”

Seungmin nods, and Heecheol’s hand is gone. The lock clicks, the door opens slowly, and there’s silence as he imagines him standing there looking out at the empty hallway. He returns, and his hand lands on Seungmin’s back again. “Look at me.”

Just like he listens to you, he listens to his friend. A soft voice with a hint of demand, as if he has no choice. Heecheol might have made him if he hadn’t immediately lifted his head, but the look is just as soothing as his touch.

“Let’s talk about something else, yeah? We have better memories to dwell on, I’m sure. How’d you do in school?”

“School? Oh, that feels like so long ago. I did well until high school, but I managed to graduate thanks to my aunts. Almost went to junior college, but I was too…uhm, I guess it wasn’t a good time.”

Heecheol nods in understanding. He doesn’t need Seungmin to explain that his illness held him back, if that’s what it was. Maybe college didn’t feel necessary after the inheritance he received from his father. Looking around the apartment gives him all of the information he needs to know in regard to that—Seungmin and you want for nothing. “I don’t want this to sound insensitive, because it’s just curiosity…”

“Yes?” Seungmin doesn’t care what it is, as long as it keeps him distracted from the noises in his head.

“The two of you aren’t married, even though I recall the nurse addressing you as her husband. And she doesn’t work, I take it?“

“We’re not, and no…she quit her job when she thought she was leaving for good.”

He wants to ask more about that—considering what he witnessed, the dynamic of their relationship is far more interesting than it was two months ago. “She’s here illegally.”

It’s been the least of his worries lately, which may have been a stupid mistake. The wrong person finding out could have upheaved everything just as badly as Seungmin messing up a kill. Now his mind wanders to the body down the hall—all the two of you ever do is play with fire. He can’t be so reckless. He can’t risk anything happening to you or the babies. “Yeah, I guess we should work on that. Marriage would be a good start.”

“The sooner the better. Put a ring on your to-do list.”

“What is it, Min?”

His gaze is fixed on the incubator in front of him; on the two of them cuddled together, sleeping soundly. Seungmin is still feeling a little bit of disconnect between him, father, and them, his sons. It doesn’t feel real yet, and he knows that’s partially because the three of you are still stuck in this hospital.

“Hey…are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I’m sorry.” He is. He really is.

Heecheol visited briefly before heading back home, and Seungmin does still feel a little guilty for not taking him to the station. Heecheol assured him it was fine, and him spending time with you was much more important. You made it a point not to stare at him as if at any moment you would have to defend Seungmin, and you did pretty well.

“I’ll finish cleaning everything up when I get home, now that I’ll have time by myself.”

You squint your eyes at him, as if it’ll clear up any possible misunderstandings between you. “Okay.” Since coming into the room, he’s been distant.

“I have something for you.” Seungmin’s hand fidgets in his pocket, but he doesn’t let you see what he has yet. “I’ve never asked you what kind of jewelry you like, but since you don’t wear much, and the things you do wear are very simple…I went with that.”

“Jewelry?”

He nods, and red starts to creep up his neck. “But if you don’t like it, we can pick something else.”

“No, no I want whatever you picked.”

Finally, he pulls his hand out and reveals a small wooden box, but he doesn’t know what to do as you stare excitedly at it. Should he hand it to you? Open it and ask how he assumes you’d expect a proposal to happen? Yes, he should probably make this that type of moment for you. “Okay.” He slides the lid open, and he doesn’t think he can get more nervous until he sees the ring again. Maybe it was a bad choice. He really should have asked what you liked. “I…” he stops when he feels himself starting to stutter.

“Yeah?” You take his hands in yours and hold them steady.

“I…was thinking we should get married. Pretending seems silly now that the babies are here, and I want you to feel safe and secure with me in every way. I should have asked you months ago.”

“We should, you’re right.”

“Yeah?”

You pull the ring out of the box and examine it carefully. “I was waiting.” The color is a soft blue, and on each side is what you assume are tiny moonstones.

“I’m not sure what kind of gems you like, but I figured their birthstones would be a safe choice.”

“Birthstones? Oh, is that what they are?” You look again, watching the middle gem change to purple under the harsh light of the room.

“Moonstone. And I forget the name of bigger one, but it’s pretty…right?”

Every angle gives you a new color; blue, purple, and even a hint of green. The June birthstone is one thing, and it was a safe choice—it was also a good choice, but it changing between yours and his favorite color is another; it feels like it was made just for you. Seungmin takes the ring back and slides it until it’s snug against his mother’s silver wedding band. “It’s perfect. You are very good at this.”

“At what?”

“All the little things you do for me. And the things you say.”

His fingers tap nervously on the bed. “I mean everything, all of it. Everything I say and do.”

“I know, Minnie. You’re a natural.”

He smiles, but not before trying to hold it back. “As soon as you’re able to come home, we’ll make it official.”

Three days in this bed has been more than enough, and you’ve been waiting not so patiently to be discharged. Going home without the boys will be difficult, though. “They said today, probably.”

“Heecheol said they could be here the rest of the time you should have been pregnant. Is that true…they’ll be here for months?”

Before you can answer, the nurse knocks softly and lets herself in. In her hands is a clipboard full of the discharge papers you’ve been waiting all morning to sign.

“How long will they have to stay here?” Seungmin asks, and his concern seems to be coming from the fact that you’re going home. You assume he felt content knowing you were always close by, even if he missed you, but that won’t be the case soon.

She smiles sweetly at him, obviously honing in on his anxiety. This is the same nurse that made you feel better about being here, and about how well the twins were being cared for. “It’s always hard to say for certain. They came very early, but they’re both healthy, so our main concern for them is weight gain.”

“We can visit them every day, Minnie”

“You can.” The nurse looks in at them sleeping comfortably. In each of their mouths is a pacifier, and both of them seem to already mastered their sucking reflex. “It’s very important you see them as often as possible. They could be home as early as six or seven weeks from now if we can hit our goal weight…two kilograms at the very least would be ideal.”

“See? Your boys are healthy and strong, and we’ll have them home with us soon.”

The apartment feels different, even though it’s only been a few days. It’s not just the sight of a nearly finished nursery (the twin bed is gone, in the apartment next door, you assume), and it’s not the cots pushed neatly against the bedroom wall. The difference is coming from inside of you, and from the missing pieces that you couldn’t bring home. You never imagined missing the comfort and discomfort of them being safe inside of your stomach, but you do. And now it’s just…you. Your hand moves from your chest, still sore for the exertion, down the still noticeable bump. Everything is sore. Between the labor, and the uncomfortable bed, you can’t remember the last time your body held onto so much pain.

“Do you feel okay?” Seungmin sneaks up to place a kiss on your shoulder, and his hand lands next to yours.

He knows you’re not, and he only asks to lead into the next question. “I’m good.” You’re not exactly hiding it very well, and Seungmin saw every moment of pain as you pushed. “Just sore.”

“I can help you shower. Or if you just want to get into bed, I put clean sheets on. There’s a heating pad in there, and the air conditioner if you get too warm.” You turn and face him, and he smiles. “Or…early dinner. I prepped stuff for galbijjim.”

“Can I have all three?”

***

“So, he left without asking any questions?”

“Questions? Oh, Heecheol. No, he didn’t bring anything up except what you asked him.”

“Me? What did I…” What did you ask him? Everything from before all the pain is a blur. “I can’t remember.”

“You asked him if I wandered into the woods when we were kids. And the answer is no.”

Theres nothing stern or harsh about his voice, but you feel it in your gut regardless. Tears start welling in your eyes, but you manage to keep them at bay. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been worried. I wasn’t trying to go behind your back for answers.”

“Oh I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not angry, love, I promise.”

“I thought he might remember something you couldn’t, that’s all.”

Seungmin pulls you to your feet, but you’re suddenly feeling self conscious about dropping your robe. “I know. He hasn’t seen the things that I have, fortunately.” His hands tuck beneath the tie, and you grab them before he pulls it loose—the response is a confused look, a lick of his lips, and an arm around your waist. “No?”

“I do, I’m just not used to this body. And it’s been a while since we’ve had sex, or touched…or anything.” A few weeks, but it feels so much longer.

“Not because I didn’t want to.” Both of his arms slide around you and rub the sore muscles. “I’ve been afraid of doing something to hurt you, or them.”

“What happened that night, Seungmin? Why did you kill? Was it just a kill?”

The questions take a moment to sink in—not just remembering what exactly happened that night, but what you’re asking him, too. It was just a kill, he thinks…that he can remember. So much of it disappeared the moment you called him. “Yes, I think so; I used my knife, slit his throat, made a fucking mess. Luckily not so much that I couldn’t keep Heecheol in the dark if he looked for me in the bedroom.”

“His throat. It was a man?”

His hold on you tightens. “Yeah, I remember that much. It didn’t help anything, though. I can already feel it coming back.” The feeling, the itch—it starts moving in on him even more as he stands here with you. He held it back with the help of you and the babies, but now he can’t deny what the quiet is bringing. Maybe he can hold it off a little bit longer. “He was expecting sex, but nothing happened this time.”

“You’ve been so stressed, that has to be part of it. But we can relax a little now. They’re okay, and they’re safe.”

“And so are you. I can sit out here while you go in, if you want. But I’m not leaving you alone.”

Your hormones are going crazy. One moment, you feel ecstatic at the thought of seeing and holding them again, and the next you come crashing down because everything feels out of your control. You’ve gone through your entire adult life in the same body—one that Seungmin seemed to enjoy—and now you feel like somebody else. What hasn’t changed is the way he looks at you.

“I got you some new shampoo and body wash to try. It’s supposed to be good for after, so…”

“You did?” The overwhelming urge to cry returns, but the tears are different this time. You let them come and it scares him for a moment. “Thank you.”

“Why are you crying, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong,” you wipe at your cheeks and blink away the tears. “I’m just…uhm, everything feels so intense. Sorry, I’m alright. And I’m hungry, I guess."

“Oh, I think I understand. Are you feeling down?”

The tie is pulled loose, and the robe slides down your shoulders. “I was, but I'm okay.”

Seungmin’s eyes follow as it falls, but he catches himself and lowers his gaze as you walk by. You don’t look much different to him, but still, he finds you more attractive now than he ever has. It’s not how you’ve filled out, and it’s not the roundness of your face, or the blush across your cheeks…it’s just another version of what you were before—the one who loves him and his children. He told you months ago he would kill anyone who touched you, and that hasn’t changed, Seungmin feels that more intensely now than he ever has. He knows you feel it, too.

Eighteen days of care in the hospital is showing on the twins. Holding them is different already, and they feel less and less like butterflies with each visit. Seungmin sets his fingertips on Haesung’s back, and the rise and fall of his breathing calms the thoughts that continue to break through. The noises are quieter when he holds them.

“Have they put on weight this week?” You ask the nurse. “Are they doing okay?”

“According to their chart, Baby Haesung has gained a total of 500 grams since June 1st. Haneul has gained 492 grams. Another good week.”

“So they’re doing well?”

“Very well.”

Every morning, the two of you spend three, sometimes four hours here, holding them and talking to them. Every evening, you return for at least an hour for more skin to skin, and sometimes a song. Leaving is difficult. The two of you are here the most of any of our parents. Please remember to take care of yourselves and get plenty of rest. The nurse was looking at you when she said that yesterday. You have been sleeping well, though, and you were finally able to produce your own milk for the first time last week. Maybe that will bring them home even sooner.

Seungmin does the math on the walk home. “They might be there another two or three weeks before they reach two kilograms.”

“Maybe. But I’ll make sure I’m eating well and pumping enough for both of them every day.”

“Sounds exhausting…I’m sure it is.”

“According to my nurse, I should be eating an extra thousand calories a day to keep up.”

He stops and looks around, and then back at you. “A thousand? We should grab something extra for lunch then.”

There’s a little bit of guilt in him as he jogs down the steps and away from his mother, but not enough to stop him. And he’s not a complete liar, because he is going to work today…just not for another few hours. The trip to Seoul is a few weeks behind him, and it’s only plagued his mind more with each passing day. Now he’s finally doing what he thinks might help him sleep more soundly at night. Even the act of texting Seungmin seems forced, and he hates that, because Heecheol knows that deep down inside he feels the same about Seungmin as he did right before everything happened…and two months ago, when he laid eyes on him again after so many years. His friend grew into something he didn’t expect. From awkward and small; terrible eyesight; quiet and timid until he was on the pitcher’s mound, to what he is now. Seungmin is something else entirely—quiet, but charming and handsome. He carries himself well, whether he’s aware of it or not. The biggest difference, though, is that he’s now capable of the same violence that lived inside of his step father.

Still, as conflicted as he is about what he witnessed (it’s still sitting in a weird place in his head, like it hasn’t truly settled in yet...as if he dreamed the whole thing), part of him wonders what could have been, had the two of them found each other before you crossed his path. Even if Seungmin had no romantic feelings for Heecheol, it still could have been just the two of them…and god, how how badly he wants that. It’s painful to think about.

The bus takes him past the hospital and continues north for another few miles before the scenery starts to become familiar. Not a good familiar. He wasn’t sure how he’d feel once he got this close, but now it’s here—a cold, heavy rock sitting in the pit of his stomach. But visions of his childhood come through much clearer now. Warm summer nights in the greenhouse, looking at the stars; staying up too late and laughing too loudly, risking the wrath of his step father; testing their courage by seeing who could stand at the edge of the woods the longest, backs to the trees. Seungmin somehow won every time.

The bus driver eyes him curiously as he exits, and the loneliness sinks in as he drives off. It’s already unnaturally quiet, and he hasn’t even reached the edge of the forest yet. Now he has to walk two miles through it, and he’s beginning to have second thoughts.

The backyard looks the same. The greenhouse, the hanok…everything is exactly as he remembers it. It was summer when he left all those years ago, so even the wildflowers are nearly identical; the chipped paint, overgrown grass, and rotting wood is the only giveaway that so much time has passed. Heecheol half expects them—Seungmin and him—to come ripping around a corner laughing. But it’s quiet. More quiet than he remembers it ever being.

The first place he heads for is the greenhouse.

Inside, everything is in full bloom, and it’s more crowded with flowers than he’s ever seen it. He doesn’t know the names of them like Seungmin and his umma did, but he recalls seeing the purple ones (dried up and withering away) in Seungmin’s bedroom.

He walks up the messy path past the shed, and when he gets to the front door of the house, he’s not surprised to find it locked. As abandoned as it seems to be on the outside, the inside must be relatively well-kept if the two of you were staying here. Breaking in crosses his mind, and why not? Would one little broken pane of glass seem suspicious? It doesn’t take much to convince himself. Heecheol finds a rock, then changes his mind and looks around for something with a little more weight. A dragon statue catches his eye, and he remembers Seungmin finding and spending all of his allowance on it for his umma. He had to, he said, because they were both dragons, so technically it was for both of them. Heecheol picks it up, and the corner is sent into the bottom right panel of the window. It takes two tries, but he succeeds, and finding the latch and opening it is too easy. Climbing through the small window is a little more difficult at six feet tall, but he manages it gracefully.

He was right. The inside looks dated, but lived in. The first aid kit sits on the kitchen table, and blood seeping from that self-inflicted (he has to assume) wound runs through his head. Heecheol isn’t sure why he’s here, or what he’s looking for, but he wanders through each room anyway. Maybe he’s hoping he’ll learn more about his friend just by being in this space and breathing this air again. He needs to know what turned him into a killer.

***

Both of you slept in this morning, and after your two bowls of bibimbap are finished, (Seungmin tried to push a third on you) it’s finally time to see the six week old twins. The last two weeks were better than the others, so you’re hoping to hear at least one of them has finally reached the two kilogram mark.

You watch carefully as the nurse fills a bottle with your breastmilk, and she hands it to Seungmin. “Haneul has one more test to pass. Dad will feed Haesung, since the two of you have been successful…” She waits as Seungmin reaches in for him, and by now, he scoops him up easily and confidently before taking the bottle. “And we’ll see how well big brother latches onto mom.”

They took to pacifiers and bottles quickly, but actually feeding from you has been a challenge, and you can’t figure out why. You cradle Haneul and sit, and when he opens his eyes, his recognition of you feels stronger than it ever has. Daengmo made the trip with you this time—a desperate attempt, but the dog feels a little otherworldly sometimes.

“Go ahead and try…just like you have been.” The nurse tells you. She hasn’t lost any faith in your ability to do this with him, but you she must sense your nerves.

“Okay, sweetheart...” you adjust yourself and bring him closer. “Just like we talked about, right?” This time you relax, because every other time, your overthinking didn’t help at all. Seungmin watches quietly, and the sounds of Haesung feeding relax you even more. “Oh, I think he did it.” His fists clench, and as soon as his fingers find Daengmo’s soft ear, they open and close around it.

“Yeah, he did.” Seungmin whispers. “You two ready to go home?” He looks down at Haesung happily eating, and he stares right back up with wide open eyes. Seungmin gently pulls back on the bottle until it’s free. “I’m sorry buddy, you need to catch your breath.” He swallows and sighs, and when it seems like he takes in enough air, he starts to fuss.

***

The sun is low in the sky when he gets to Seungmin’s bedroom. He didn’t expect to stay so long, but it was easy getting lost in the things that were left behind. In here, it’s easy to see how abruptly things stopped that night. It doesn’t seem like Seungmin has taken much, or even moved things since he left for his grandmothers house. Heecheol needs to keep things as neat as possible, or he’ll know someone was going through his room.

But he quickly realizes that nothing in here will give him any answers. Everything about this space is him before all of the bad things happened. Enough time has been wasted, and he needs to walk through the woods again to get out of here—he has no intention of doing that after sunset. Heecheol cleans up the mess of glass and pulls the curtain tight, and he looks back at the house one more time as he heads down the pathway. He ignored it the first time, but as he walks past the shed, he stops. What could be in there except for the memories of stories he was told about the long, cold nights locked inside? It makes him nauseous just thinking about the mental anguish Seungmin endured in there. Just him, the cold silence, and the smell of—

“What is that?” He says to himself and looks around. It’s just him here, he knows that, so why is he suddenly catching the familiar scent of a fresh cigarette? The smell turns his stomach even more, but it must be in his head. “Is someone here?” His heart pounds as he waits for an answer from nobody. Silence. Just the wind, and the slow creak of the shed door. “Fuck, I need to get out of here.” He tries. Heecheol’s next step lands wrong, and he barely catches himself as he falls forward into the patchy grass. His wrists give out, and he ends up flat on the ground—uninjured, at least. But he can’t even laugh at his clumsiness. Heecheol jumps up and looks around again, still expecting to see someone. Or something. The smell seems to have disappeared, so he shakes it off—he shakes everything off and starts his walk toward the pine trees.

With any luck, he’ll make it out before dusk hits and darkness takes over, but he’ll have to walk fast.

“There’s nothing in there. We were stupid kids just making stuff up and seeing things that weren’t there, and Seungmin is fucking schizophrenic…of course he saw things.” Telling himself that does nothing to quell his nerves, and he feels a pang of guilt for what he says about his friend. Seungmin was tortured and ridiculed for seven years, and the same hands that did it took his mother. Of course something inside of him needs to take that power back, that control, and kill. Maybe he did find some answers.

The woods seem to take every last sound as he enters, and Heecheol moves quickly down the middle of the narrow dirt road. Two twisty miles. He could cut right through and make it a little more than a mile, but he wouldn’t risk it, not with night so close. The trees are disorienting and everything in here looks the same, so another misstep could be disastrous. Just walk, don’t listen, don’t look around.

***

Seungmin can’t take his eyes off of them as they cling together at his bedside. You told him they had to sleep in their own cots, but keeping them together was fine as long as one of you were awake to watch them. And that’s what he does—he watches, and he still can’t believe how natural it is for them to hold each other the way they do. They are the same now; almost the same size, same dark eyes, same head full of hair just like he had as a baby. The nose, the ears…his ears. Truly identical.

“Hey…” Seungmin looks behind him where you’re starting to doze off on your side of the bed.

“Yeah?”

“What if I mix them up?” He’s serious. You’ve never seen him look so serious. “Is that possible?”

“Do you know who is who right now?”

He stands and looks down at them. “Uhm…yes. This is Haneul,” Seungmin adjusts the mitten on his left hand, “and this is Haesung.”

“Mhm. How can you tell?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe I just know?” He looks to you for more reassurance, and you crawl across the bed to give it to him.

Your first few weeks home after giving birth were difficult, and Seungmin knew to give you all the space you needed, for as long as necessary. Eventually, you felt yourself returning to the way you were before you found out you were pregnant, and before you thought he was growing less attracted to you. You couldn’t have been more wrong about that, but the two of you are still working on getting back to the way things were.

A shiver runs through him when you squeeze his shoulders. “And if it helps, Haneul has a little mole…” you place a kiss on top of Seungmin’s left ear, “right there. Haesung doesn’t.”

“It does.” He turns and gives you a look—a look that says please kiss me, touch me. Anything. All he’s gotten in weeks is a sleepy handjob. He’s been so patient.

“Lay down with me.” You pull him until he follows you under the blanket. “You’re gonna kiss me until my alarm goes off. We have eight minutes.”

***

The sun is setting a lot faster than it should be. Either that, or he’s walking slower than he realizes. It’s not like this isn’t familiar. As monotonous as the walk through these trees tends to be, he remembers landmarks, and most of those landmarks are still here. But still, he’s losing light, and the end of the road is nowhere in sight. Heecheol checks the time—6:55. The tops of the trees swallow up the sun, and whatever signal he had back at the house. Some sound returns, though...a rustle of dry leaves, as if an animal is scittering through them; a very distant bird song.

Almost there, he says, almost…can’t be more than a kilometer left, right? He should have checked his steps before he started. Maybe he should have just stayed home, or went in to work early for the night. And suddenly, as if the forest can feel his nerves starting to boil over, just like the smell of cigarette smoke hit him by the shed, another familiar scent starts to fill his nose. He wants the smoke back. He would trade this for any other smell. It has to be in his head, though—it has to be his fear going into overdrive and making him think he’s smelling the rotting corpse of a deer. Maybe that’s what it is. There aren’t many, but he’s seen deer running from these woods and through the yard plenty of times. It only makes sense that one would wind up dead not far from the road at some point.

Cheoli?

He cups his ears and closes his eyes. How stupid of him to come here, alone. Alone! Walking through this horrible fucking forest by himself so late in the day. And for what? He found nothing useful here.

Heecheol. Is that better?

Why does it sound so sweet and light and feminine?

“Stop, please. I just want to leave.”

Maybe you’re still accustomed to Hale

The voice sounds like you. It sounds shaken and full of curiosity, just like you did when you asked about this place. It even has your accent down. Why is he hearing your voice in his head?

I’m not in your head

“Yes you are.” Heecheol walks faster and starts humming loudly to himself. If someone were to stumble across him, they would assume he was out of his mind. He feels out of his mind.

okay, I am…but I’m also right here

The forest floor hurts much more when he hits it, and this time, there’s no catching himself. He tastes blood on his lips, and a moment later, the unbearable throb of his wrist hits. If it wasn’t a twig he landed on, it was definitely his bone snapping. Where? He blinks the dirt from his eyes and looks around, but there’s nothing. And then there is something…the sound of footsteps. Heecheol scrambles to his feet, injured arm tucked against his chest, and stumbles as he tries to find some balance. He fails and lands hard on his side, and everything in front of him goes fuzzy and dull, like an old vhs recording. It doesn’t go away when he shakes his head.

stop moving so much

The voice changes. It’s stuck somewhere between yours, and the raspy smokers voice of Seungmin’s step father. It’s a horrible sound and it makes his wince.

that’s better, let me look at you

it slowly loses the sweetness of yours, and now it’s somewhere between his and something inhuman. “Where are you?”

you remind me of him

“Who?” He needs to stop talking to it.

but you’re weaker than him

Seungmin? Is the voice talking about Seungmin? He doesn’t ask. Heecheol keeps his mouth shut, but his mind is racing. If the static in his vision would go away, he could get up and run, but it’s getting worse. The only thing he can think to do is reach for his phone, and when he finds it, he pulls up anything he can. He can’t see, and only one hand is functioning properly, but whatever he does works. A ring. So he has a signal now. Two, three rings…four.

“Hello? Cheoli?”

“Seungmin, can you hear me?”

“Yeah…the connections bad, but…are you okay?”

“N-no. I don’t know.”

“No? It’s getting worse, I’m losing you.”

The call drops. He’s alone again.

***

Seungmin’s furrowed brow would be cute if he didn’t look so serious. It’s not just confusion on his face, it’s worry. A lot of it. You heard his phone ring, but everything else was lost in your post-nap fog. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t answer right away, so you turn and check the cot on your side. Haneul is still sound asleep after his first time eating at home. Next you crawl over Seungmin, still quiet and staring at his phone, and check on Haesung. He’s just coming out of his nap, and a soft cry is starting. Before he can get too far, you reach in and run your thumb across is slowly fattening cheek.

“Uhm…not sure.” Seungmin tries calling one more time, and when it doesn’t connect, he starts typing. “It was Heecheol, but he sounded weird. The call dropped and I can’t get him now.”

“Do you have his mother’s number?”

He shakes his head and drops the phone in defeat, but he’ll worry until he hears back. “Hopefully the text gets through.”

“What did he say?”

“I asked if he was okay…he said I don’t know.”

“It’s hard not to worry, but I’m sure you’ll hear back soon.”

Seungmin needs and appreciates your positivity, but everything about the short phone call, even the static as it struggled to connect, felt strange. He checks the message he sent, but it’s just an error message now. Not delivered. “Yeah. I’ll try to keep my mind off of it.” Haesung is starting to cry a little louder now, so Seungmin pockets his phone. “Are you hungry again, buddy? Maybe you need changed.” He looks to you, because he’s only had the chance to do that a few times during hospital visits.

Every new experience with them is exciting for him, no matter what it is, even a diaper change. He insists you just watch while he works on Haesung, who’s still softly crying from whatever is bothering him. And as sweet as Seungmin finds the sound, at least for now, he hates not knowing exactly what’s wrong.

Before he can unsnap his onesie, his phone vibrates in his pocket.

“Heecheol?”

The static is loud enough to hear from a few feet away, and you don’t hear a voice behind it.

“Cheoli, I don’t know if you can hear me…I can’t hear you.” Seungmin’s voice is strained, as if he’s holding back the urge to scream into the phone. “I can’t hear you.” He stays on the line for a few more seconds before giving up and ending the call.

What can you say to him to put his mind at ease? This isn’t how you want his first day at home with the twins to be—plagued by worry and helplessness. You know he would benefit from a Xanax if you can convince him to take one. “Let’s get them changed and I’ll make you some tea. And maybe you should take something.”

“Take something?” Haesung squirms and kicks when Seungmin sets his palm on his stomach. “Oh, right…maybe. Tea would be good.” He looks at you every few seconds as he works, but you don’t know if it’s nerves about the job he’s doing, or if he’s trying to read something else on your face.

“I want you to enjoy your first day here with them, and I know that’s gonna be hard now, but they want all of you.”

Seungmin looks at Haneul, comfortable in your arms, and then back to his hands as they finish fastening the new diaper. The sound Haesung makes as he kisses his forehead finally gets a smile out of him.

The worst headache he’s ever had in his life is pulses behind his eyes, and the tiny line of sunlight coming in is excruciating. He can’t move. He doesn’t want to move, but he needs water and pain killers. Heecheol knows only one thing, and that’s that he is currently lying in his own bed. He doesn’t even know what day it is, or how he got here, because the last thing he does remember is falling in the woods and…his wrist. The pain in his head is masking the pain of his fractured, swollen wrist until he moves it. “Fuck. Umma!”

A few seconds later, the soft sound of her slippered feet hit the hardwood floor. “I’m coming Cheoli. You must have had a rough night, there’s fresh coffee out here for you.”

“Umma, please bring me some water and Tylenol. And ibuprofen. Please, I’m sorry.” Asking his sick mother to fetch him things is his new low. Past Heecheol would roll his eyes at him. She doesn’t mind, though. She’s back a minute later with a bottle and a handful of pills.

“That bad? Oh, Cheoli, your wrist!”

He looks at it again and realizes just how bad it looks. It’s nearly twice the size of his right one. “Yeah, I know. I’m fine, umma, I just need to get this headache under control and I’ll get to the hospital.”

“Weren’t you just there a few hours ago?”

“What time did I get home?”

She sits on the edge of the bed and thinks. “Oh, it must have been around 6 am, when I took my medicine.”

“I got home at 6am?” He throws four pills in his mouth and downs the entire bottle as she nods at him.

So he can’t remember anything between 7 pm yesterday and waking up at noon. That’s a lot of missing time. His phone doesn’t give him much, but he does see several calls between him and Seungmin. One he made that lasted about eight seconds, and then two from Seungmin that he definitely doesn’t remember getting. There’s also an unread text message that delivered around the same time he got himself home.

Hey, my calls aren’t getting through. What’s going on, are you okay? This might not get through, either. Please call me when you can.

The signal isn’t strong in the outer parts of Uljin, so the bad connection isn’t surprising. He just can’t remember a single fucking thing after that fall…and now the eight second phone call. Heecheol decides he’ll call Seungmin, but not until after some x-rays and a splint.

***

“It’s just a sprain, surprisingly.” The doctor squints at the x-ray, but she doesn’t have to explain it further for him. He’s seen plenty of broken wrists on this light box. “I was sure with that swelling it was going to be much worse, but that’s because you let it go for so long.”

“Yeah, I had a weird night.”

“I’ll stabilize it for you, but you know we can’t do much else. Keep up with the Tylenol, and expect light duty for a while. Or just use some of your time off for a change.”

Time off. Right, he does have some saved up, but using it while he’s injured seems silly. He keeps telling himself he can use that time for an actual vacation, but he never plans anything, and he rarely leaves home. But another trip to Seoul is always a possibility. No…I can’t do that again. What if I see more of something I don’t wanna see? Maybe he should see more, because Heecheol still feels like he dreamed the whole thing.

The phone rings a few times, and eventually, he gets the generic voicemail message. He doesn’t leave one.

Hey, I’m sorry if I made you worry. Hope you’re well. How are the twins?

Seungmin calls as soon as the text delivers.

Cheoli! You’re alright? What the hell was going on last night?

He hears him, but it’s through that same static. A little bit more of last night returns to him.

Cheoli, say something

Sorry, hey. His head starts to throb again. “I’m good, everything is okay. I had a little too much to drink last night, and it’s finally starting to wear off.” There is a small chance he’ll actually believe that.

“I was wondering if you were ever gonna get in touch again, considering what happened last time”

Oh god, he knows. No, you idiot. The babies. “How are they?”

We brought them home yesterday! They both reached their goal weight and passed all the tests.” His voice quiets. “It’s scary, though. They’re still so small and fragile.

They’ll grow fast, and I’m sure they’ll seem fragile to you for a long time. But I don’t wanna keep you. Go be with them, and maybe we can just forget about the weird drunk call.

Already forgotten

The static in his head dissipates along with the call.

***

The buzz of his phone wakes him immediately, probably because he’s quickly become accustomed to jumping at the smallest sound, but he ignores it until he looks in on both of them. Haneul is on his side of the bed tonight, sound asleep—you’re finally in a deep sleep, too, so he’s careful about leaning over and looking into the cot on your side.

Seungmin is the only one awake, and his text message is, not surprisingly, from Heecheol. He must be at work, and bored, to be texting at 5:30 in the morning.

I’ll be in Seoul tomorrow! Maybe tonight. I won’t impose on you, I can get a hotel. Just wanted to let you know.

He doesn’t say why he’ll be here, but it doesn’t matter. Seungmin doesn’t mind his friend visiting, especially since he clearly didn’t witness anything too damning last time. He doesn’t act like he did, at least. Good enough for him; maybe not good enough for you.

“Why are you up, Minnie?” You mumble into your pillow.

Seungmin smiles and brushes the hair away from your face. “Just checking on them.”

It’s almost time for your alarm to go off anyway, so you sit up and start the process of waking yourself up.

“Did you get enough sleep? I can bottle feed both of them if you’re too tired.” He gives you his best puppy eyes, because he genuinely means it. Tired or not, Seungmin always tries to get you back into bed, and he has yet to say no to a feeding or a diaper change.

“I could never do this without you.” His eyes drop to your chest when you lay back again, and they stay there as you adjust and feel yourself to gauge the tenderness. He moves your way, shifting over until he’s snug against your side, and he very carefully wraps his arm around you. “I’m starting to think you were made for this whole parenting thing.”

That feeling of inadequacy keeps fading for you as the days pass with them, but it’s nonexistent in Seungmin’s mind. There never seemed to be any doubt in him about your ability to be a mother, and if he ever doubted himself, he hid it well.

He squeezes tighter and smiles, but his eyes don’t leave your breasts. “You think so?”

“Mhm. And I always took you for a thighs and ass guy, but maybe that’s because these weren’t there.”

A warm hand moves beneath the blanket, down your hip, and then slowly back up to your side. “No, I like your…everything. I always have.” But his need to touch the soft skin spilling out of your sports bra overtakes him, and he kisses and bites until you start to laugh. “Everything.”

“No favorite parts?”

“Favorite, hmmm…” He leans back a little and looks you over, and now you’re feeling shy under his intense gaze. “Yes.”

Seungmin’s smile makes your stomach flip, and you’re struck with a strange sadness—a looming feeling that he’s going to be ripped away from you, and you don’t know why, or where it’s coming from. Pregnancy hormones are still running wild through you, and nothing makes much sense right now. Just him, and them, and it’s all so much. You’ve never felt overwhelmed with love for so many things at once.

“This.” The pad of his thumb runs across your temple and tucks a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “Because…it helps keep mine together. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do I? I don’t…I don’t know either.”

The silence is interrupted by Haesung crying out. It’s the loudest you’ve heard from either of them, and it sends a wave of panic through you. He swings his fists through the air and toward his face until you carefully lift him and hold him against your chest. “He’s warm.” You carefully remove the mittens from his hands. “How does Haneul feel?”

Seungmin reaches in and touches his forehead, his chest, and his legs. “Seems okay.” His eyes pop open and his fingers go right to his mouth. “Just hungry, I think.”

You stand with him and head toward the kitchen, hoping the motion will calm Haesung and quiet his cries. It may just be hunger, but it doesn’t sound like a hungry cry. You don’t get far. “Seungmin!” It slips out. Shouting is the last thing you want to do, but you can’t help it. The noise brings out another cry.

“What’s wrong?”

“There…right there, don’t you see it?” It’s been so long, you almost forgot about them. “It’s sitting there, by the stool.”

He looks, but there’s no reaction or jump or surprised gasp. “I don’t see anything. Let me get the light.”

“The dog. It’s the white dog. It’s staring right at me.”

Clearly he sees nothing, because you watch as he walks right by the two blue eyes to switch on the kitchen light. It’s there, tall and still, head down and eyes pointed at you, and then at Seungmin as he makes his way back to you.

“Close your eyes.” He blocks your view and sets a hand on Haesung, who’s tiny back is still heaving from his steady crying. “It’ll be gone when we look again.”

Maybe, if you count backwards from ten. Nine…eight…seven…your eyes pop open when Haesung starts to calm down. His face finally relaxes, and when he looks at you, the feeling of dread seems to pass. “Did you feel it , sweetheart? Is it gone?” You peek around Seungmin’s shoulder and look. It is gone.

The rest of the morning, Seungmin seems to look around hesitantly when one of the boys cry, and his eyes linger in every dark corner as he walks around the apartment. After mentioning it and pulling out the black wallet from the cafe several times, you manage to convince him you’ll be fine by yourself for an hour or two. Still, he’s reluctant to leave after the dog sighting.

“I was hopeful for a while that it was just…nothing. Stress. And then I wondered if they were pregnancy dreams.” Even though you were both having them. The shared delusions don’t really faze you much anymore. “Now they feel like bad omens.”

“Omens of what?”

“I dunno. But if you’re feeling itchy, go, I want you to. But please be careful.”

Seungmin goes, but he regrets it as soon as he hits the sidewalk and starts his trip south. The only thing on his mind is the three of you, all alone for the first time since coming home a few weeks ago. And even though they’re almost always quiet and happy (he was starting to wonder why babies are so stressful for some parents, but he’s guessing you and him have been lucky so far), and even with two of them, easy enough for one of you to handle solo for a few hours.

Still, he feels guilty. He tries to shake it off and focus on the task at hand—casing the creep that harassed you last month. Seungmin hasn’t forgotten, and he’s no less angry than he was the moment he witnessed him mouthing off and grabbing you. He still sees your distressed face, so close to tears—breaking his nose wasn’t enough, he’s looking forward to this one.

But he’s just gathering information today. Seungmin doesn’t want this guy anywhere near the apartment, even if he isn’t getting out alive.

He finds a bench across the street from the address on his business card—a life insurance salesman. Seungmin still finds it funny all these weeks later, but 5 pm comes and goes, and he starts getting antsy. A late worker, of course. Or maybe he just has a family he doesn’t want to go home to. Seungmin is hoping for no family to make his job much simpler. He decides to pull out his phone to give you an update, but there’s already a text waiting for him…

I think they miss you

Oh, are they upset? I can head back, just say the word

no no we’re fine sweetie…just wanted you to know how much we looove you

A warm blush creeps up his neck and face as he types. He knows you don’t want him distracted, just to be extra cautious.

더 사랑해

He catches him in his peripheral vision, taking his time, digging in his bag as he heads for the crosswalk. Seungmin follows. The man seems distracted, so keeping up is no problem, and the streets are just busy enough to keep him hidden. The walk isn’t going to be far, though. The address on his license is only a few blocks away, but Seungmin starts to feel uneasy halfway into the tail, and he can’t figure out why. Maybe it’s just him. Just worry. Stress. Less sleep. Thinking of your last words to him before leaving gives him the extra push he needs.

Go, you’ll feel better when it’s done. And I’ll feel better when I get to hear all the details.

You haven’t been shy about asking for details lately. Seungmin has told you stories about almost all of his kills now, most of them in the last two weeks. Yesterday you asked, very sweetly, for him to wrap his hands around your neck and squeeze just a little. He resisted for a while, but giving in was inevitable. You felt far too fragile beneath his touch, and he didn’t ask if you got flashbacks the way he did as his thumbs caressed your throat. Flashbacks, and all of his blood rushing to his cock as you pulled and scratched to get him closer. Seungmin was relieved that you initiated. He was afraid to admit how badly he needed you if you weren’t ready yet, but you needed him just as much.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, but he ignores it. No more distractions. The man takes a left, and he’s gone, but not for long—the building he disappears into is the one.

“Seungmin!”

Not him. Some other Seungmin. There must be at least one other Seungmin on this street right now. Focus.

“Mo!”

There’s only one Seungmo. Despite his racing heart—racing from the chase, and now racing double because Heecheol is in the city already, in this district, on this street. How is that possible? The sound of his friend’s soft voice is good to hear, though, he’ll admit. Maybe today wasn’t the day. Seungmin turns to look, but it takes a moment to find Heecheol’s face in the crowd. “Cheoli?” But even after the crowd dissipates, there’s no sign of him. Heecheol isn’t here, and he’s not on the other side of the street, either. “Heecheol?” The buzz in his pocket brings him back, barely, but the text message does the rest of the work.

This is where I’m staying. Just got here, earlier than I was expecting. Hope to see you!

The newest message is a room number.

Heecheol is miles away, so why did he hear his voice so clearly?

“Hi”

“Hi, you okay?”

“Mm, yeah, but I think today might be a bust. I’m gonna head home.”

It’s not a complete lie—he would never lie to you, but before Seungmin starts home, he decides to take a short detour. A quick subway ride to Heecheol’s hotel, and he’ll pick up dinner on the way back. It works out, because he very obviously chose somewhere as close as possible to the apartment. He wonders if he should let him know he’s on the way, or if the surprise visit would be nice. He did say hope to see you, and he sent his room number, as well. Sounds like an invitation.

A pang of guilt hits him on the way up the elevator. His mind remains on you, of course, and how you’re doing at home all by yourself. But he knows you’re fine, because you’d call or text if you needed him immediately. Seungmin won’t be long here, and he’ll pick up all of your favorites on the way home.

He knocks, and he listens to the soft sounds on the other side of the door. Footsteps, maybe a look through the peephole, the click of the locks. The door swings open, and he sees him. Just sees him. It’s his friend, he knows, but the static filling up his head makes his knees buckle and his eyes water. Seungmin doesn’t think he’s ever fainted in his life, but this must be what it feels like.

“Mo…hey, you good?”

Hands grip his shoulders and shake him a little, and he comes to. It’s no longer pitch black, but his vision is fuzzy, and the static turns to a low hum that slowly quiets as Heecheol comes into view.

“Seungmin, say something.”

“H-hey, Cheoli.” He stumbles in with the help of Heecheol steadying him, and suddenly, he’s fine. Like nothing happened. Uhm, yeah I’m good. Sorry.”

“If you say so. You look good.” He closes the door, and sweeps his arm across Seungmin’s shoulders as he faces him again. “You must have been doing something important.”

“Important?”

Heecheol lifts Seungmin’s hand and examines the rings on his fingers. Seungmin lets him—he’s still trying to get his brain to catch up. “Yeah. Are these really Loewe?”

“Yeah, sorry…I don’t wear them much.”

“Sorry?”

He spins them nervously, “they’re flashy, I don’t like being flashy,” and finally looks at his friend. His hair is messy and damp from the shower, and he looks comfortable in his sweatpants and t-shirt. “I should have told you I was coming.” There’s a black splint on one wrist. “What ha—“

“No, you didn’t have to. Surprise is nicer.”

The hum returns. It feels like his brain is bouncing off the sides of his skull. If only Heecheol would reach out and squeeze it like a vice—that might make it better. “Cheoli.” He breaths. The faint feeling is coming back, and he isn’t sure he can stop it. Seungmin reaches for him, and his forearm is grasped tight by Heecheol’s good hand.

“Seungmin.” He replies matter-of-factly, face blank, but his tongue darts out to lick his lips. “Come here.”

“Okay…” he takes a step closer, and Heecheol pulls him until they’re almost nose to nose. But he doesn’t step back. He does nothing but examine his face; his sharp eyes, his parted lips. “O-okay.”

It’s not really a shock when their lips press together. No, not at all, because you’ve already told him this—that his best friend is in love with him. You told him it’s okay, it isn’t strange or uncomfortable for you. It’s understandable, you said, who wouldn’t fall in love with you? Seungmin laughed when you said that. There’s a laugh rising his chest right now, but he keeps it down as Heecheol pulls away to get a better grip on his mouth.

Seungmin wonders if you knew this would happen, and if this is okay. The guilt he felt about not being home with you doubles…triples as he opens his mouth to let Heecheol’s tongue in. It stopped though, the humming, that horrible feeling in his brain. All that’s left is a shiver running up his thighs, and the undeniable throbbing between them.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, but he ignores it.

[aealzx]

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Update Post

Prologue | AO3

Previous Next

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Luckily a multitude of text messages to the others was enough for Jason to convince them to refrain from crowding in on them, and Danny was able to have some time to cry without worry. It wasn’t the first time, or even the hundredth time Jason had held a crying child, so it was easy for him to wait and offer a silent companionship with the occasional back rub. And it was easy to tell when Danny’s energy was wearing low, the sobs turning into softer hiccups and his grip on Jason’s jacket not quite as tight. And after a stretch of almost complete silence Jason figured it was time to move. It was no surprise that having a good cry and being able to talk just a bit left Danny quite tired, he was still sporting quite the residual burn wound on his chest. But while rest would do him good, Jason didn’t think it would be the best idea to take him back to the manor just yet. “... Hey… How ‘bout we go get a batburger and go to my place?” he suggested after some time, wondering if Danny had eaten anything good for dinner yet. “We can just chill for tonight. I already let everyone know you’re safe, so don’t worry about them….Okay?”

“Batburger?” Danny repeated, voice betraying his obvious need for a tissue. He just felt more worn out more than anything else now, but didn’t miss the brief strain of amusement he got from hearing about the food. This place really did have everything named after Batman. They must really like their dark and broody superhero. It was something to envy, at least a little. And honestly, going to Jason’s place and having some time without having to deal with the others fussing over him or subtly needing him to direct them sounded amazing too. He needed time to himself to figure out what to do next before he gave them any suggestions. Which led him to looking up to Jason and nodding. “Yeah. That sounds great. Been awhile since I had a burger.”

Jason took the weak smile Danny gave him as a win, the boy’s mask having vanished long ago to make it easier to breathe, and started to move to get them on their feet again. “C’mon then. We’ll take it easy on the way there. Get some air,” he coaxed, leading Danny towards one of his safe places first so he could ditch the helmet and other vigilante attire.

“Don’t people usually say fresh air?” Danny commented, his current state making his brain to mouth distance quite short at the moment.

“Have you smelled Gotham? That’s not just this alleyway, it’s the whole city,” Jason returned easily, giving the poor kid something else to focus on for now.

Danny couldn’t help grimacing as he snorted, putting a hand to his nose and earning Jason’s pity to find some sort of tissue or fabric from his pockets for the boy to clear his nose on. A bottle of gatorade would probably be a good idea for the boy too.

Pulling Danny to his feet, Jason kept him close as they moved. A quick stop at a tiny safeplace allowed them to switch to a more inconspicuous civilian attire, with Jason loaning Danny some shoes for now. He was still in his pajamas, and even though he mentioned he could just slightly float to avoid walking on the disgusting ground Jason didn’t want any prying eyes to notice that. The kid looked pathetic in Jason’s bigger shoes and oversized jacket, but at least he looked more like he fit in with the rest of the crowd in the area. At least enough that the worker at the nearest Bat Burger didn’t think twice about the two of them stopping by. Jason did all the talking, ordering two basic combos, and Danny just lingered behind him. The gaudy colors of the fast food place littered with advertisements to read were another mild distraction that kept him occupied until Jason pushed a takeout bag into his hands. They were quiet as they walked back to Jason’s apartment, and it was only after they had passed the first entrance that the silence was broken.

“...Is there a reason other than you don’t want to that you don’t stay at the manor full time?” Danny asked while they were riding the small elevator to the second from the top floor, starting to run out of ways to keep his brain from wandering where he didn’t want it to.

“Got it before Bruce knew I wasn’t still dead. Then felt like keeping it because it’s nice to be on my own,” Jason answered simply, leading them down the hall to his own doorway and fishing his keys out of his pocket.

“...Right…you did the whole ‘died and came back wrong’ thing too,” Danny hummed, having momentarily forgotten.

It earned a small grunt from Jason while they kicked their shoes off at the entrance, which was closed and locked again behind them. “I wouldn’t say ‘wrong’, just atypical. Considering most people that die come back within a few minutes instead of a few years, like me, and also don’t end up with super powers, like you.” Maybe he would agree to the term ‘wrong’ at some other time than this, but he didn’t want Danny spiraling into any more self hate than he was hovering on already.

“Wait- a few years?”  Danny sputtered, stopping to stare at Jason. “You were dead for years?!”

“Oh yeah. I hear the funeral was nice, but I guess I was too angry about my killer still running loose that I just had to come back and take care of things myself,” Jason shrugged, gaining a slight smirk and carefully guiding his own thoughts along a path that would keep him present and talking. It was still difficult to talk about, but as long as he felt in control he could manage it for the most part. As long as the other side didn’t start asking too detailed of questions.

Something he apparently wouldn’t have to worry about with Danny. The lad was quiet for a moment as absent thoughts ran through his head about what Jason just said. And after a moment he suddenly gave a small gasp in realization. “Oh my gosh. You’re a revenant.”

“A what now?”

“A revenant. I heard about them from… was it Clockwork or someone else?” Danny repeated, trailing off as he couldn’t remember who he’d learned what lesson from. He eventually shook his head and followed Jason further into the apartment. “They’re essentially people that come back from the dead because they’re too angry to stay dead. But they usually pass on again once that anger is satiated, so that’s why I didn’t notice before- woah, that’s a lot of weapons.”

Jason was luckily saved from having a mild existential crisis when Danny noticed his wall of weapons. Was this how the two kids had felt when Raven had given their state of existence a name? Weird. Anyway, “Do they make you uncomfortable?” he asked, ready to hide them if he needed to, and flopping on the couch to dig his burger out of the bag, gesturing for Danny to join him.

“No. I was just surprised to see so many. I actually grew up with a basement full of dangerous stuff. My parents-” His voice cut off as his heart skipped several beats at the mention of his parents. He had half the thought that this was probably what it was going to be like now, just casually dropping an emotional bomb on himself in casual conversation. He probably would have cried again, but at the moment he didn’t have anything left to give yet. Luckily Jason pulled him out of that slump by patting the couch next to him again.

“C’mon, enough chatter. You ever seen Pride and Prejudice?” he prompted, grabbing the remote with the hand that wasn’t holding his burger.

“....Not this realm’s version,” Danny responded quietly after swallowing the lump in his throat back into his chest. If it was even close to the same story he had in his realm it would be a good enough distraction. He could just sit and watch a movie, pretending he was just over at a friend’s house for the night and everything was actually just fine.

Making himself comfortable on the couch, Danny eventually got around to pulling his own bat burger from the bag and unwrapping it. They had gotten it with the idea that he could try it, and if he felt sick Jason would finish it and make him something else. But as Danny bit into it he found in the moment he didn’t care if he ended up sick from it. Technically it had been almost three months since he’d had a good hamburger. And while he’d been unconscious for most of that time he still felt like this was the best thing he’d eaten in a long time. Alfred’s cooking was great, but it had still been rather mild compared to the juicy meal. Jason just chuckled and hummed in agreement when Danny made a noise of delight, reaching for a few fries as the movie started.

It was a good distraction for as long as the food lasted. And even after the meal was finished Danny eventually ended up wedged up against Jason and half buried under a blanket, staring at the tv screen with a half lidded gaze as he tried to keep from thinking about anything in particular. It wasn’t quite as blissfully comfortable as the couch in the manor study, but it still brought a sense of peaceful comfort that made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he would be okay. Maybe he would handle it better this time than the time before that the literal ghost of time had to pop up and make him correct his mistakes so some evil version of himself wouldn’t exist in the future. It was already pretty different this time anyway. He had more friends now. And his sisters and home realm friends were still there. And also Vlad was nowhere to be found, so it wasn’t like he could give himself a corrupted power boost by eating the man’s ghost half. That was a plus. Probably. Danny felt bad for even considering it was a good thing Vlad was gone for good now, but he tried not to dwell on it long. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. After all, Clockwork and the Observants-

Danny suddenly shot upright with a gasp, thoughts cascading into his mind as he remembered a series of facts he once thought were disjointed suddenly became potentially connected.

“What’s wrong?” Jason asked, immediately concerned and wondering if he needed to grab a bucket.

Danny took a second to respond, the jumble of thoughts in his head needing a moment to settle before he could figure out how to make words with his voice. “Nothing,” he dismissed, but realized that was obviously not the case, so made himself elaborate a little. “I just realized Dani doesn’t have a reliable source of ectoplasm. I’m going to have to figure something out, I don’t want her to be tied down to me,” he rambled, running a hand through his hair and trying to calm himself down. It wasn’t a good idea for two people to be relying on one person’s energy anyway. “Didn’t… Did someone say before that Raven could access the Infinite Realms? To get some? Do you think she could teach us?”

Something felt a little off about Danny’s response, but the words he said made sense and made it hard for Jason to act on his subtle gut feeling of wariness. They would need another source of ectoplasm, for both of the half ghost kids. And Raven was the one that had gotten the last supply…. Perhaps Jason would just go along with what Danny was thinking for now, and just make sure he didn’t get himself into too much trouble. “... Yeah. I can text Damian to contact her,” he offered, grabbing his phone to do just that.

“Could she start it tomorrow?” Danny asked, twisting to look at Jason, and then adding “The sooner the better, right? And it’ll give me something to do other than wallow in despair.”

Another weird comment, but Jason just made note of it and followed along. “Sure. Makes sense. I’ll see if they’re available after school.”

“Thanks…,” Danny bid, flopping back down. That would give him more than enough time to sleep even though it was already well after midnight. And it was true that he would appreciate having something to do other than get lost in his head. He was already starting to feel better now that some ideas on actions were forming in his mind. Tomorrow then. And for tonight he could just enjoy the simple movie about rich people's problems. “...This is a good movie, by the way.”

“You know it,” Jason huffed in agreement.

Tomorrow will be better

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I had Staying by Koda on repeat when writing this one.

I feel like I forgot how to draw because I ended up in a hyperfixation just writing for like a week straight and didn't draw for that time X'D Totally stole Jason's apartment layout and colors from Wayne Family Adventures.

I'm excited for the next part BD

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Tag list: @galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships, @starscreamlover, @nerdynonnativenarnian, @dragongoblet, @megacharizardx99

@bellathecatastrophe, @cj-ghostemoji-destielpie, @asexual-insomniac, @wolfeyedwitch, @tkiesai, 

@fanaroff, @raven1508, @nebulainajar, @serasvictoria02, @oliocelottafanfics,

@honeysuckletook, @omniithe-deer, @wolf-under-the-stars, @gingernutcalo, @that-random-fangirl,

@op-sys-chaos, @kirasigncomics, @ehobep, @paranoid-ira, @nomaru666

[zlut4rina]

Imy♡

Storyline: Working overnight at a busy office job wasn't everyone's cup of tea, especially not your clingy girlfriends.

Pairings: Student!Ning x Businesswoman!reader

Warnings: public sex, phone sex, dirty talk (ithink)

Note: Both are 18+, obviously, ik I said I was making ning fluff, which I am obviously, but i wanted to make it two parts, and this just came to mind for part 1. Sorre

Word count: 2k (pretty short, idk how you could make 5k+ with just phone sex 😭)

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You hated your job. It was one of the most insufferable places on earth. But the money was good, you needed the money. You weren’t struggling to pay rent or for food. You were actually quite ahead on your bills. The reason being was because of this job, also with the help of your pretty roommate. After the fallout between you guys and a mutual friend, she was kicked out of their house. So you decided to take her in, of course. Unlike you, she was tight on money but somehow still managed to stay in her uni without problem. Ever since then, you two have been living together, then long after you bloomed a relationship with her. She was now your girlfriend of one year and three months, and you couldn’t be happier.

Present time

While finishing up a few papers left by your boss, you noticed some unopened emails on your screen. When opening them, you see at least 5 different request sent to you by a few employers and your boss. You sigh in annoyance, having a feeling you’re going to be here a bit longer than planned. Scrolling through your inbox, skimming through everything, you finally click one and start working. That’s when a coworker walks up to you, leaning on your wall divider. “How long you plan on being here, I thought only six of us had the night shift.” His question sounded genuine with concern in his voice, looking around the office as if scanning to make sure his count was right. “Seven is an odd number y’know” he lets out a stupid chuckle, one you’ve hated for so long. Looking up at him, taking you from your concentration, you spoke. “I have extra work I need to get done. Maybe I’ll be promoted, who knows. Doubt you would.” The last remark was snarky. You gave him a sarcastic smile, turning back to your work. The man left with a scoff, not before whipping a few papers off your desk, scrambling them in the process. You clicked your teeth at this. It wasn’t anything new. It wasn’t something you weren’t used to by now.

Continuing your work, already done with three of the assignments listed to you, your phone rang. Feeling the buzz on your thigh, you take it out, to your realization it was your girlfriend. You turn your head to the bottom corner of your computer screen to check the time. Seeing it was two hours past when you’d usually be home, a bit of sadness washed over you. Picking up the phone, you put it to your ear. “Hey baby, sorry I’m not home yet. I’ve got extra work I’ve gotta get done.” You spoke quietly into the speaker of your phone. Not to draw attention to yourself, your coworkers were all across the room, some just a row behind you. “It’s fine. I was just worried, is all” your girlfriend said, shuffling in bed, to get comfortable. “How long till you can come home, I miss you” she said in a whiny tone, her voice a bit hoarse due to being tired. She must’ve just woken up, you thought to yourself before answering her. “A while, baby, not too long, though. Don’t miss me too much, cutie.” You chuckled a bit as you spoke, earning a playful whine from the other side of the phone. “Hey I’m gonna connect my headphones so I can finish this work, okay, cutie?” The other girl responded in a hum as you pulled out your airpods and connected them to your phone. I'm sitting right next to your keyboard as you get back to work.

Half an hour had passed with you giggling and snickering at your phone. Finishing some more work, the other end of the call was a bit silent sometimes. She didn’t answer you with words mostly with hums or a few “uh huh’s” there wasn’t a problem in that at all, she was probably sleepy I mean its way passed 10 so of course she’s a bit less talkative. “I miss you” suddenly the other side of the phone spoke. Your eyes widened a bit, taking you out of your trance, and the corner of your lips formed a small grin. “I wish you were here right now” your girlfriend spoke in a soft tone. Barley able to hear her. “Me too, baby. I hope you're keeping the bed warm for me when I get home.” You let out a soft chuckle as she giggled quietly. Once again, you heard shuffling through the phone her sighs we slightly audible too. “Are you sleepy?” You asked after the other end went silent. It took a while to gain a response from her. “No, I can’t sleep, not yet” You laughed a bit at her words. Between the two of you, Ning was very clingy she held onto you like a lost puppy. You two were always together. She would even follow you to the bathroom sometimes. She loved being your little spoon, too, anytime you two cuddled. “You should sleep, love, I won’t be home till maybe around one in the morning” saying this caused you to frown. You really wanted to be in bed right now. Holding your favorite girl, planting sweet, soft kisses on her. But no, you just HAD to notice those emails. “I tried, I need you here, holding me. Your arms wrapped around me, I need you.” Hearing her voice, she sounded so needy, desperate. She really did need you, especially at this very moment.

“I miss you too. I can’t stand being away from you for this long. I haven’t kissed you in forever.” You whined out quietly. It really has been long, seeing as two of your coworkers have already left and headed home. “There’s a lot you haven’t done to me in a while …” the other side spoke, catching you off guard. You froze. Ruffling and strange movements were heard from your phone. It lasted a while, too. Coming to your senses, you finally connected a few dots “Like what baby” you asked in a mocking tone, smiling to yourself as well. “I think you know” her voice was husky, yet her words flew out smoothly. “Hmm I’m not sure. Maybe you could refresh my memory?” You teasingly asked her, your smiling becoming a bit bigger. “Fuck why can’t you just get here already ..” She let out a sharp sigh as she spoke. You giggled at her words, she really does miss you huh “So impatient baby, hmm I wonder what would I be greeted with if I were there right now.” You leaned back in your chair, you felt a bit cocky in this moment crossing your arms behind your head. “Your very needy, wet, horny and spread girlfriend that’s what” you could hear her soft sighs and whines through your headphones. It was a bit too quiet for your liking so you turned your volume up. “That’s a sight to see y’know, fuck I’d love to be there right now and ruin you. I bet that’s what you want huh, my fingers deep inside your aching pussy” a few moans were heard along with a few wet sounds from her fingering her pussy. “Your so disgusting, touching yourself at this hour, begging to be fucked senseless”

Giggling to yourself in the moment you check your surroundings, seeing nobody is paying you any mind you continue to focus in your desperate lover. “I bet you can’t wait for me to get home. Can’t wait for me to fucking ruin that pretty body of yours.” You bit your lip at the thought of it, sighing to yourself. Your girlfriends’ moans were getting louder, you heard a soft thud as your girlfriend placed her phone down beside her. “Fuck, I need you so bad right now!” Ning wasn’t really the time to vocalize her needs like this, she was quieter and let her body do most the talking when it came to sex between you two. Seeing this side if her changed something in you. You had to get this side out of her more often. “I can’t really hear you that well though baby, doesn’t sound like you miss me that much.” You tease her tilting your head placing your chin in your hands, staring at your computer screen. Imagining what she looks like right now. “You wanna hear how bad I need you, yea?” She took her phone in hand and turned her camera on. The camera facing the ceiling, before she slowly brought it down to her milky fingers going in and out of her drenched pussy. You could only stare at your screen, has she lost her mind ? This isn’t the same girl a few hours ago. This isn’t the same girl you gave breakfast in bed to earlier. Snapping you out of your thought, she moved her camera in all angles giving you the greatest views of her soaking wet body. “Fuck baby, see? See how bad I need you right now, you’re telling me work is more important than pleasing this?” her voice became higher in pitch the more she went on, bucking her hips into her hand. So desperate for more, so desperate for you.

The sound of her moans and the way her body moved into her hand was driving you crazy. That should be you. You should be the one pleasing her right now. Except you're stuck here watching your pretty girl work for her orgasm. Licking you’re lips at the sight, your hand slowly went down to your pants, unbutton them swiftly. Looking around the office for any wandering eyes. Your hands slipped down to your soaking panties circling your clit slowly. A soft sigh left your lips as you closed your eyes gently. Your motion on yourself fastening, closing your legs ever so slightly due to the feeling rushing inside you. “Baby ..” you whispered head falling down, biting your lip a little. Roughly enough to leave a mark. Moving from your panties you put your hand inside playing with your wet fold. Slowly teasing your entrance, moving your fingers in and out, but not the full length of them. Your girlfriends’ moans were louder than before the camera shaking, hips bucking up and down. Her tiny whines and quiet curses driving you nuts. “You close baby?” you asked working your fingers in yourself. “mhm …” She answered her voice whiney and needy. Flipping the camera she faced it to her exposed chest, cupping one breast and playing with her nipple. Of course taking her hand away from her heat upset her a bit, but she knew you loved seeing her touch herself. Just for you and nobody else. “So pretty baby, you look so good. Fuck I wish I was there to taste you” your words making her whine and bite her lip, putting her fingers back into her soaking wet pussy. “I wanna feel your tongue deep inside me, taste how good you make me feel.” You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips, and honestly you didn’t care if anyone heard. Your too focused on the beautiful piece of art in front of you to care.

Your pace with your fingers quickened inside you, spreading your legs a little wider for easier access. Biting your lip to conceal your moans, you threw your head back against the head of your chair. Phone in one hand and the other in your pants. You could feel your climax reaching near. You could tell she was close too with the way her body was moving and how fast her hand had gotten. “You better cum baby, just for me, ruin those sheets” you gritted your teeth together and you felt closer and closer to the edge having forgotten all about your work, the time, and if the people around you were aware of your little situation. “Fuck baby I’m so close, I wanna cum in your mouth all over your face.” Her words sent you over the edge cumming all over your hands and in your pants. You wanted to close your eyes but you couldn’t look away from her perfect body and how it reacted to finally releasing all that built up tension in her code. She let out high pitched moans and cute whines as she came, not stopping after wetting her fingers she played with her clit a little more. The fast circles she was rubbing on herself made her squirt all over the bed her camera catching all of it. Her body squirmed at the pleasure and release. The call was almost quiet, all that could be heard was the heavy breaths your girlfriend was taking. Her small gasp and her little whimpers. You watched all this go down, finally growing tired of waiting you buttoned your pants up and packed your things to head out and head home to your girlfriend. “Fuck, hurry home, okay? I miss you” your girlfriend said before ending the call.

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[runningincircl3s]

Blood Sport

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Chapter Two

chapter warnings: mentions of drinks (although never stated as alcoholic?)

happy friday!! i did NOT expect this story to get so much love so far, i can't believe it?? seriously thank you so much!! i'm hoping it lives up to it's expectations as it's been so so fun to write, i've definitely fallen back in love with writing and i think this story will certainly reflect that <3

also, like with nothing ever after, i thought i'd share my playlist for this story! i wanted to make it fit with the chapters but nope it is an unorganised mess, and i will still be adding to it as i write more! but anyways are we ready to face noah again...

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You adjusted the strap of your dress in front of Matt's hallway mirror, trying your best to ignore the anxiety crawling up your spine. This wasn’t supposed to be difficult, not for you. Matt and Alyson were getting married, and you were invited to celebrate with them. It's not like this was your big day. So it should be simple, right?

Except everything about this felt complicated. Besides Bryan (and now Matt and Folio), you hadn’t seen any of the guys in the band since last year, so you were worried about how they'd react, especially Noah. You couldn't even think about him without your chest tightening, so the thought of seeing him again had your heart beating faster than you were comfortable with.

However, you pushed all these thoughts to the back of your mind, attempting to focus on the task at hand.

“Are you ready?” You asked Matt, before helping him adjust his tie.

“As ready as I can be.”

You chuckled, smoothing down the fabric of his jacket, admiring the way he looked in his suit.

“You look great. Alyson’s going to lose it when she sees you.”

Matt smiled, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

“I just… I don’t want to mess this up, you know?”

You paused, giving him a reassuring look.

“You’re not going to mess anything up. You love her. She loves you. That’s all that matters.”

He met your gaze, his usual confidence had been replaced by anxiety, but he still put on his best smile.

“I’m lucky, huh?”

“Very.” You agreed softly, your smile turning a little bittersweet as your mind brought you back to somebody. 

Noah. 

How, if things were different, he would've been here with you. You could've been attending your best friends wedding together.

But instead, you almost felt like you shouldn't be going. He surely wouldn't want to see you again, how would he react to you turning up to his best friends wedding?

Matt seemed to notice you drift away into thought, so he cleared his throat.

“Alright, enough of this sentimental stuff. We've got a wedding to get to!”

As he turned toward the door, you called out.

“Wait, Matt. You’re forgetting something.”

He suddenly spun back around.

“I am?”

You dug into your bag and pulled out a small box, handing it to him.

“A little something I got you for good luck.” You said with a wink.

"Good luck?" He raised an eyebrow, "Isn't this just for the bride?"

"Well, not this time." You chuckled, watching him inspect it.

Matt opened the box, revealing a small silver keychain with a tiny plush raccoon hanging from it.

“You know me too well.” He grinned, tucking it into his pocket. “Thanks, y/n. Seriously. You were the first person I told when I thought about proposing, you’ve been a part of this since day one. Even if it's tough for you... I’m really glad you’re here.”

You smiled, feeling that familiar lump at the back of your throat.

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

As Matt stepped out, you couldn’t help but think back to when you first met the guys, and how so much had changed, but so much had stayed the same.

You still remember when Matt first met Alyson, he had told you it was love at first sight, which made it even more difficult for him to ask her out on their first date, fearing she'd say no and he'd spend the rest of his life alone.

And now here they were, all these years later, on their wedding day.

Something in the air felt different this afternoon as you stepped out of the house into the warm sun. For the first time in months, you felt hopeful. You were starting to feel like maybe you were ready for you own next step, whatever that might be.

Maybe it was time to make a profile on some dating apps.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Your anxiety was sky high when you wandered through the venue, knowing he would be there somewhere. The venue itself was beautiful, the colour theme was red and cream, with touches of black, so all the decorations were set out to match. 

You took a deep breath, smoothing your dress as you scanned the room, your eyes landing on Jolly. 

You felt a relief wash over you at the familiar face, so you began to walk over to greet him and Nicole. 

“Hi!” You grinned, noticing their surprise as they turned around to see you. 

“Oh my God, y/n!” Nicole wrapped her arms around you, embracing you in a warm hug as Jolly chuckled. 

“Let her breathe, ‘Cole.” 

“Sorry,” she laughed, “You look so beautiful… How have you been? Jolly kinda told me about the... Situation…” 

“I’m okay,” you said, forcing a smile, “Just a little nervous about seeing him again. But that’s not what todays for, it’s Matt and Alyson’s big day and I won’t let him ruin it.”

“So how long have you been back?” Jolly asked, sliding an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

“I got here a couple days ago, I’m staying with Matt at the moment, but me and Folio are actually looking to find a place together around here!” 

Their faces screwed up, a look of horror washing over them.

“You and Folio…?!”

“As friends, Jesus!” You laughed, “He wants to get out of Noah’s place, and I’ve got to be out of my place by the end of the month, so you might be seeing a whole lot more of me.” 

“That’s great!” Nicole smiled.

“I’m sure Noah would agree.” Jolly smirked, before Nicole gave him a look, making him apologise. 

“So… Is he here?” You asked. 

“By the bar,” Jolly nodded, “I can’t believe he brought her.” 

Your chest burned, turning back to look at Jolly.

“Her?”

“You don’t know about Amy?” 

“No?” 

“Shit,” he ran his hand through his hair, “She’s this girl he’s kind of... Dating. I thought one of the guys would've told you.” 

“Why should they? What he does doesn’t concern me anymore,” you said, as if you were trying to convince yourself, “He can do whatever he wants.” 

Then, as you looked away again, you spotted him by the bar.

Noah.

It was like the air shifted the moment you spotted him. 

He stood leaning against the bar, a drink in hand as he spoke to Ruffilo. The sharp black suit he wore fit too well, his dark hair parted in the middle, falling over his eyes perfectly like it always did. 

He was still Noah. Still the stupid, hot bastard.

And then, as if he felt you staring, he looked up.

The moment your eyes met, the world around you quietened.

His posture stiffened ever so slightly, fingers tightening around his glass. For a moment, neither of you could look away. You noticed the look of surprise in his eyes, he clearly didn’t expect to see you here. 

You’d spent the weeks leading up to today trying to prepare for this, but nothing could have braced you for actually seeing him again. Especially when he looked this damn good.

Then, just as quickly as the moment arrived, it shattered.

A perfectly manicured hand curled around his arm, and a girl leaned her head on his shoulder. 

So that must be Amy.

She was stunning, the type of beauty that would make you turn your head on the streets. Everything about her was flawless, her hair, her dress, her makeup- if you didn’t know better, you’d think she was the one getting married today.

And suddenly, you felt small.

“Everything okay?” Jolly asked softly, snapping you out of whatever was going on in your mind. 

You swallowed hard, willing away the tightness in your chest as you nodded. 

“Yep... Never been better.” 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

As you all began to get into your places for the actual ceremony, you caught Folio, dragging him by the arm to the corner of the room. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me about Amy?” You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep your voice down. 

“I wasn’t sure how…” He explained, “They’re nothing serious, I didn’t even know she’d be here today. Fuck, I don’t even know how she is, she wasn’t invited!” 

"Nothing serious? Nick, Jolly told me they're dating!"

"Okay, maybe they are..."

“How long?”

“Huh?” 

“How long have they been together?” You said through gritted teeth, trying to keep your composure.

“...A few months.” 

You nodded your head.

You had no reason to be upset, angry or even jealous. He wasn’t yours anymore, he was never really yours to begin with. 

Your eyes drifted over to them, chatting by the front row. You watched the way her hand brushed his arm, the way he smiled down at her, looking at her like she was the only person in the room. 

You don't care. You shouldn't care. Why did you care?

“I’m sorry,” you said, shaking your head, “I shouldn’t care anymore, should I?” 

Nick’s expression softened, and he frowned as he took your hand in his. 

“You loved him… There’s no stronger feeling than that. If it was really real, you can’t expect to just make it stop.”

“I guess,” you sighed, your gaze catching a very stressed out Matt pacing the floor, “I guess we better get in our places.”

“Yeah,” Folio smiled, dropping your hand, “Good idea.” 

The two of you walked down to your seats, and you were glad to see you were in between the two Nick’s. 

“Oh, Nick!” You grinned as you greeted him, “I’ve missed you so much.” 

His arms pull you in to a warm hug as he stands up. 

“Hey! It’s so good to see you again… I missed you too, what happened?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, pulling away. 

“I get why you’d stop talking to Noah, but us too?”

“I didn’t think you guys would ever want to talk to me again,” you frowned, “I’m sorry.” 

“Of course we'd still want you in our lives, it'd be weird without you," he chuckled, "We all make mistakes, y/n."

“Yeah, some worse than others.” You sigh, sitting down in your seat. 

Your eyes meet Noah's again as you look up, like he had already been watching you. Your breath caught and you felt your face heat up as you quickly diverted your vision, and he did the same.

"We didn't tell him you were coming," Nicholas explained, "He asked me about you last night, I had to lie and tell him I didn't know if you'd be here."

“I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be.”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

The reception was beautiful, warm string lights draped across the garden of the venue, casting everything in a soft, golden glow as the sun began to set. You tried your best to enjoy yourself, talking with your friends, having a few drinks, meeting some of Matt and Alyson's other friends. You wanted tonight to be fun, for you all to look back with happy memories of it. But one thing made that difficult.

One person. 

You had done your best to avoid Noah all evening, but it was impossible to ignore his presence, the sound of his voice, his laughter over the music. Even when you weren't looking, you could still feel he was there. You tried to keep your eye on him to make sure you didn't come face to face unexpectedly. 

You had made it through the first hour unscathed.

Then, you slipped up.

You approached the bar for another drink, forgetting that he had been standing just a few feet away.

You noticed Amy had left early, as Noah was alone for most of the night, and through Jolly, you had learned the details of their relationship. She was a model and a wannabe singer who had reached out to Noah for help writing a song. Instead of making music, they clearly made something else.

You weren’t sure who moved first, but somehow, you both ended up side by side at the bar. Close enough that you could smell his cologne, the smell that was once comforting now filled you with nerves.

Noah barely glanced at you as he leaned against the counter, fingers drumming against the wood while he waited for his drink.

“You look…” He started but then stopped, shaking his head.

You slowly turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

“I look?”

“Never mind.” He scoffed, bringing his glass to his lips. “Forget I said anything.”

He exhaled sharply, eyes narrowing like he was annoyed with himself for almost slipping. The words had nearly left his lips, and for a moment he had forgotten how this was supposed to be, how he was supposed to act cold, distant, indifferent.

But you saw it in his eyes as he looked at you, and you heard the way his voice softened as he spoke to you. There was something there that told you he missed you, even if hed never admit it.

You hated how much it made your heart race.

A tense silence stretched between you, filled with all the things left unsaid. The kind that made it impossible to breathe.

Until finally, he broke it.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come today.” His voice was quieter this time.

“Yeah, well… They're my friends too.”

Before you could say anything else, the music slowed and Matt and Alyson’s first dance started.

Everyone turned to watch them sway together beneath the twinkling lights. The moment was intimate, beautiful, and it should’ve been nothing more than that. But standing here, next to Noah, watching two people so in love, it made your heart ache in your chest.

You thought about what you've lost, what you could've had with Noah. How this could've been the two of you one day, but instead you were stood side by side in silence, like you were nothing more than strangers.

You felt his gaze shift to you, and despite yourself, you turned to meet it.

There was something in his expression you couldn’t quite place, softness, maybe, or hesitation. Like he wanted to say something, but knew better.

Your fingers rested against the bar, just inches from his. Your breath hitched when his hand shifted ever so slightly, the smallest movement, like he almost wanted to close the distance. For a moment, it felt like nothing had changed, like the past year had been nothing but a bad dream.

But then reality came crashing back.

He had Amy now. He had clearly moved on.

And so you pulled your hand back.

His eyes flickered downward, landing on the necklace you wore. The one he had given you for your birthday. His lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words

"You still wear it?" He asked, almost as if he was in disbelief.

You swallowed hard, your fingers instinctively reaching for the necklace his eyes were fixed on. The one he had given you on your birthday, the day before everything turned to shit.

"I never take it off," you admitted, "I guess... It reminds me of you." 

Without thinking, he reached out, fingertips ghosting over the pendant and gently brushing over your skin, a barely-there touch that sent a shiver down your spine. But the second he made contact, something in him snapped.

His hand recoiled like he had been burned.

Without thinking, he reached out, fingertips ghosting over the pendant, a barely-there touch that sent a shiver down your spine. But the second he made contact, something in him snapped.

His hand recoiled like he had been burned.

He straightened, swallowing hard, his expression closing off as quickly as it had softened. Whatever moment you’d just shared, he crushed it, along with any hopes you had that maybe there was still something between you, that your relationship could be salvaged.

“Enjoy the wedding." He said, voice unreadable, before walking away.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, gripping the edge of the bar to steady yourself.

So that was how it was going to be.

Fine.

You finished your drink and headed back to the table where Nick was sitting with Jolly and Nicole. 

“Everything okay?” He asked, a slight smirk tugging on his lips. 

“Yeah. Why?” You questioned, sitting down beside him. 

“We saw you talking to him… What did he say?” 

You sighed, your eyes drifting away to him, watching how he laughed with his friends. At least he wasn’t hurting anymore, or so you thought. 

Noah, on the other hand, didn’t know how he felt. He had spent so long telling himself he was over you, that he had moved on. But the moment he saw you tonight, he realised that nothing had really changed. 

The feelings were still there.

And he hated himself for it. 

“He said he wasn’t sure I’d come tonight.” You finally say, turning back to Folio. 

“Was that it?” He scoffed, “The way he was looking at you I thought you’d come back and tell us he confessed his undying love-” 

“Nick, leave it, please.” You groaned, watching as Matt and Alyson still danced on the floor, a more upbeat song playing now.

“No. I know there’s something he’s hiding, y/n. The two of you need to talk, you need to-”

“Nick.” You repeated, “Stop. I don’t want to do this tonight. He has a girlfriend now, I need to respect that.” 

Nicole turned to look at you, an almost sympathetic look on her face before she got up, reaching a hand out to you. 

“C’mon, dance with me.” 

“Me?” You laughed, shooting a look at Jolly as if to say it should be you!

“Yes, you! We need to lighten the mood, and I love this song!” She grinned as she pulled you along to the dancefloor. 

Do you believe in life after love…

“You’re lucky I love you!” You grinned, "I wouldn't dance with anybody else!"

"Oh yeah?" She smirked, eyes trailing over to Noah, who seemed to be watching from the corner of his eye.

The two of you danced along, and after Matt left, Alyson joined the two of you. 

“Are you having fun?!” She shouted over the music. 

“We are now!” Nicole smiled. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally married!” You shouted, and Alyson nodded. 

“I know! And to my best friend… If only I could go back in time and tell myself… Things will get better…” You could see her eyes filling with tears, and you quickly wrapped your arms around her. 

“Hey!” You frowned, wiping away her tears, "None of that! This is a happy night!"

Alyson let out a teary laugh, nodding as she hugged you back.

"You're right. I'm just- I'm so happy, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before."

Nicole wrapped her arms around both of you, pulling you into a tight embrace as she called for a group hug.  

The three of you danced along to the music together for a moment, and for the first time in forever, you let yourself be happy. You let yourself enjoy the moment, surrounded by your favourite people, your friends that you considered family.

But then, as you turned, your eyes met his again.

Noah was still there, still watching.

His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his gaze that you couldn't quite place. A look of regret? Longing?

You weren’t sure.

And you weren’t sure you even wanted to know.

So, instead of lingering, instead of thinking too much, you turned back to your friends and let yourself laugh and have fun, you let yourself feel like everything was okay.

Just for tonight.

-------------------------------@bloody-spades @death-ofpeace-ofmind @miss570 @dominuslunae @dontwantthemoney @amelia-acero @noahslutbastian @blade-dressed-in-red @super-btstrash-posts @kait16xo @oobleoob @sunshine-lvrr @lacy1986 @enemiestolovershoe @samanthasgone

this is still a new taglist so if i forgot you (IM SORRY) or you want to be added please just let me know!! :)

[cherryblossms]

once angel let him in on the little fact that strawberries were his favorite, garam didn't even want to tell him what they were for. he already felt bad with the worries and anxiety he felt with how angel might see him after the two of them hooked up, he didn't want to give the other more of a reason to see him as some sex crazed monster. he looked up to angel with worry in his eyes as he sort of frowned, "no, you can't eat them." he almost whined. "not yet anyways, they're for something special." the corners of his mouth lifted as he finished speaking. it was something he'd only ever tried once with a girl he casually dated in college, not with strawberries but with raspberries. the two made a mess but he had fun and he wanted to try it out on angel to see if he would enjoy it just as much. when they made it down to the parking garage, garam tensed up a little bit, fearing his ex's presence. he wanted to look around to be sure that the man wasn't there waiting but he kept his eyes forward, not wanting to look paranoid. garam was almost too preoccupied to notice angel opening the passenger door for him, only catching the gesture once the door was open. he looked to angel and smiled warmly, though he wanted to say something, he kept his lips sealed, wanting to wait until they were both in the car. he pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening up the camera app to check his appearance before angel slipped into the driver's seat. "can we just go to the mall? there's so many stores to check out so i'll know i'll be able to get everything i need and not have to make any unnecessary trips out." that wasn't the only reason, though. garam was sure the mall would be full of people so their presence would go completely unnoticed if axel had decided to skip work just to follow them around. they could easily ditch him in crowds of people if that were the case. "and if we're there long enough and we get hungry, we can just go to the food court." garam looked down at the other's hand squeezing his thigh, truly unable to stop himself from smiling. and trust that he put in a lot of effort to keep a straight face but the corners of his lips were destined to stretch ear to ear. even when things were going good with garam and axel, the man never treated him as nicely as angel did. there was no car doors being opened. there was no opening doors, period. nor did he ever remind garam to fasten his seatbelt, axel typically peeled out before garam had the chance to even touch his seatbelt.. as nice as it was to see how caring somebody could be towards him, it only made him feel worse because of how blind he was to angel's feelings. he chose to stay with somebody that never actually made him feel loved instead of picking somebody that showed him just how loved he was whenever they were together. he was slow and precise as he pulled the seatbelt across his body, only looking over to angel once he was locked in. "you're too nice to me, it makes me want to do bad things to you." not bad, necessarily. not the actions, themselves. what he wanted to do was naughty and what was bad was their currently location. the fact that it didn't matter where they were, garam would stop dead in his tracks to jump on angel the first chance he got. it was like he felt the undeniable desire to reward somebody's kindness with free use of his body. "maybe not bad," he clarified, his voice was softer, "but things i shouldn't be wanting to do in public."

Angel watched Garam as he stood up, his heart racing a little. There was something about the way Garam moved, the light in his eyes, that always made Angel feel a rush of warmth. He brushed a hand through his hair, trying to tame the messy strands that fell across his forehead, and felt a flutter of excitement at Garam’s compliment “Thanks,” he replied, his voice slightly shy as he caught Garam’s gaze. “You look pretty good yourself, even if you just rolled out of bed.” Garam’s teasing boop on the nose made Angel laugh, a bright sound that echoed in the room. He felt a surge of affection for the man in front of him. It was moments like these that made him forget the worries that sometimes crept into his mind—like the jealousy that bubbled up when Garam talked about unsolicited messages. It was silly, he knew that, but the thought of someone else trying to get Garam's attention made him feel a little possessive. “Okay, ice cream it is,” Angel said, following Garam as he tugged him along. “But you’re going to have to tell me what those strawberries and whipped cream are for later.” He shot Garam a playful look, a hint of mischief dancing in his own eyes. As they reached the front door, Angel grabbed his keys from the small dish on the table. He turned to Garam, a grin spreading across his face. “I can drive. Just tell me where to go.” He loved driving, especially when it was with Garam. The way they would banter back and forth during the ride, the comfortable silence that sometimes fell between them, all of it made him feel at home. “Just so you know,” he added, a teasing lilt to his voice, “strawberries are my favorite. Might have to eat them before we get home” he winked at the man with a squeeze to his hand. As they made their exit of the apartment Angel locked up leading Garam down to the parking garage. The taller man didn’t drive his car much. His all black honda civic sat in the parking spot with the matching number to their now shared apartment. He headed straight toward the passengers side and pulled it open for Garam. Hr smiled as he watched the ma climb in still in disbelief of their dynamic right now. He closed the door and climbed into the driver side. “Where to first?” Angel asked as he started the car and glanced over at Garam, “Seat belt baby” he said his town lowering showing how serious he was. Angel’s hand found its way to Garam thigh giving it a slight squeeze before pulling off from the parking spot.

[makeitworse]

illicit affairs

˖ ࣪✦ sangwoo × f reader | nsfw, mdni!

sangwoo’s weaved in and out of your life, blurring the line between a carer and a lover. old feelings of spite and shame resurface on your last night together.

c/w: age gap (sangwoo late 40s, reader ~20s), daddy issues/kink, freudian as HELL, angst, brat tamer sangwoo, mutually toxic, smoking, cheating, grooming if you squint?, praise, plot heavy w eventual porn a/n: idk if this needs to be tagged as dc lmk. also sorry for being on a writing hiatus i got super fucking sick

sangwoo had a way of burrowing under your skin. like an itch you could never reach, unless you clawed into yourself and ripped the flesh apart just to get to him.

he always showed up just when seeing him was the absolute last thing you needed. and that was especially true for now, more than ever.

but when your phone lit up on the bedside table with an unknown number, you knew he was back for you— and you just caved. it’s all you knew how to do with him.

you flicked the bedroom lights on, darting around to gather your belongings.

“what’re you doing?” a sleepy voice drawls.

you don’t look up at him, focused on putting whatever it is you’re holding into your bag. you weren’t paying attention to that. your mind was scrambling for an excuse. a lie.

“i’m going out.” you say flatly.

“at this time?” his voice perks up now, checking his phone.

he’s so worried. so caring. and you’re going to have to crush that beneath the heel of your foot.

you don’t even know what to tell him. you just say the first thing that feels natural: “my father’s in the city.”

he sits up from the bed in a shock. rightfully so.

“your father?? since when are you in touch with him?”

it was actually a well-known fact that the presence of a father was a gaping wound in your life. you’d never known the man. but, even a lie like this was easier to explain than the truth of who you were actually seeing.

“i’ll explain later, alright? i really need to leave—”

your voice was laced with annoyance. you couldn’t think of an elaborate enough fable right now for any questions, and sangwoo was waiting.

but he crawls across the bed to catch your hand in his before you can shoot out of the door.

you meet his eyes and swallow thickly. those sweet eyes. so caring and kind. you’re going to ruin him.

you cup his cheek in your hand, tenderly swiping your thumb across the skin. he needily leans into your touch.

“i’ll be back in the morning, and we can talk all about it. okay?”

he nods. your heart pangs when you notice his glossy eyes. a better girl would’ve crawled into the bed with him and thrown your phone out of the window. but that’s not the girl sangwoo called tonight.

the air’s bitter as you walk the streets. barely anyone’s out late at this time of year, with how harsh the cold is. no one to see you two together. just how he liked.

sangwoo hated getting stares. you used to take it personally, the fact he didn’t want to be seen with you in such a way. what’s so wrong with people suspecting the worst? it was the truth after all.

that was a while ago though, back when you were spiteful about why he wouldn’t just settle down with you. how he was always disappearing but then couldn’t leave you be.

you didn’t blink at those things now— it’d been nearing a year since you last actually heard from him. you were just starting to come to terms with the fact he was gone for good this time.

you finally dabbled in other men (ones closer to your age). you’d been shown shades in comparison to the colours you already saw with sangwoo. you were chasing the fervour of your memories with him— and one boy had finally promised you something sangwoo never would’ve dared. eternal commitment. a ring on your finger.

..and you told him you’d think about it.

well, you were just laying in his bed without any plans of leaving. you were on the cusp of a new life without the overarching shadow of your estranged lover.

but then, of course, he called.

speak of the devil: you spot sangwoo standing at a corner store under dingy, neon lights. he’s tidied up like always, wearing a loose grey suit over a white collared shirt— no tie.

sangwoo calls your name softly when he sees you approach, his voice almost a sigh. like in relief.

“you look well.”

“you don’t.”

he just nods, eyes scanning over your body. you could never really phase him. if anything, he’s more surprised you’re this composed after all this time of no contact.

you cock an eyebrow when he meets your gaze again, as if he wasn’t just checking you out.

”what? forget what’s underneath?”

another sigh. this one’s in annoyance. “let’s go.”

he shifts to begin walking, but you don’t budge. you watch him click his teeth then glance around— coast clear— before he leads you by the hand.

you almost forgot how much you hated being treated like some dirty secret.

you snatch your arm back, but you keep walking with him. he almost pauses in his tracks to make sure you’re still following.

“how have you been?”

his politeness offended you. how he can act like he cares after dropping off the face of the earth.

you roll your eyes. where to start?

you toss over the idea of dropping the bombshell that was the boy whose bed you just came from, but you scrap it. probably shouldn’t piss him off this early into your long-awaited night together.

“i think you owe me your answer to that first.”

you watch as he runs a hand through his hair with a sigh, and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. it dawned on you just how much you missed looking at him. that sexy, punchable face.

you’re going to need a cigarette.

“it will bore you,” he starts. he’s chosen his words carefully. “all work.”

“and what, no play?” you sneer. half of you wants to know if he’d been getting busy with anyone else.

you rummage through your bag and stick a cigarette between your lips. this catches his eye. as you reach back in and pull out your lighter, you both stop on the pavement as he grabs your forearm.

“you smoke now?”

he’s shocked. as if he has a right to be concerned for your health. it boils your blood.

you just scoff. “i can do that. i’m old enough, in case you’ve forgotten.”

sangwoo’s jaw hardens. it always ticked him off when you brought attention to your age.

his eyes soften as he composes himself again. “you should be taking care of yourself.”

you swat his hand away from you, bringing the lighter to the tip of the cigarette. he exhales gruffly in disapproval, but you roll your eyes.

“what do you care?” you flick the lighter on. “not like you’re around to see.”

“i shouldn’t have to be.” he asserts.

ugh. was he trying to fuck you, or raise you?

sangwoo’s still watching you as you take a slow drag. you humour him and hold his stare. in the pools of his irises, you spot a tinge of regret.

does he feel responsible for you? so he should.

you make a show of pinching the cigarette, puckering your lips around it. his eyes are trained on your mouth.

in return, you blow the smoke into his face.

sangwoo snatches your wrist with a hard grip, and you verbally wince in pain. he sternly states your name— as if you’re a kid in trouble.

“i’m serious. are you hearing me?”

“oh my goddd. okay, dad.”

his whole boy tensed. that was a low blow.

sangwoo knew all about your situation. in fact, he was the closest semblance to a father in your youth.

it’s what made the whole bloody affair all the more wrong. you never gave what you had with him a name— if neither of you said it out loud, then maybe the gross reality of it didn’t exist. so that was the last thing you should be calling him.

you were addicted to acting on bad ideas concerning sangwoo, though.

”don’t call me that.” he grits.

“you may as well be.”

his eyes widen at that, and you feel your blood buzzing. the levies had broke— your confusion and resentment from the past year was finally flooding back to you.

you remember how angry you’d been that he was actually gone this time. how he wasn’t around to take care of you; to lecture you or to guide you like he always did. you’ve been so lost. and so fucking angry.

you tch, “you leave enough to be him—”

you gasp as his free hand snatches your jaw, fingers caving into your cheeks. the cigarette falls onto the concrete, and sangwoo swiftly crushes it under his shoe sole. your heart was drumming against your chest.

“is this how you’re going to be?”

sangwoo’s nails dig in a little. you whine under his harsh grip, and you catch an almost imperceptible twitch of his lip.

“huh? will you start to behave?”

you scowl. but he won’t let up. you’d struck a nerve he’d intentionally hidden away.

you gulp with a nod. he lets go, and the crescent moons he’d left on your skin were stinging.

sangwoo straightens his blazer with a deep exhale. he watches your fingers graze over his nails’ indents, and he scowls to himself.

“i’m sorry.” he utters. “i should have kept my composure.”

tears prickled the corner of your vision. he’s sorry? only now he’s sorry? what about the last year? what about when he fucking left you in the dust?

“where were you, sangwoo?”

against your will, your voice is trembling. he notices, and he huffs, frustrated with himself. he doesn’t want to make you cry.

“don’t you know how long it’s been?”

“i know.”

“then why?” you exclaim. you’d been waiting to scream that word at him after it’d been playing on loop in your head for a year. “why would you come back now??”

you can tell there’s a glimmer of something in his eyes he’s not saying. something he could tell you to explain it all. but for whatever reason, he isn’t. it pisses you the fuck off.

but you just keel over with a sob. sangwoo rushes to close the gap between your bodies as he envelopes you in his arms. he has a gentle hand cradling your head, and you bury your face into his blazer— staining it with tears.

you shudder as you cry, and he just holds you. like he hasn’t been able to in his absence. like you’ve wanted him to.

you really did miss him.

“you always do this,” you choke out. sangwoo responds by placing a tender kiss to your temple. “i’m tired.”

tired of missing you. tired of waiting on you. tired of trying to move on. tired of failing to.

“i know.”

there’s a silence as he leaves a patch of kisses on your hair. his thumb softly caressed the skin of your cheek.

you tilted your head to meet his gaze. you saw his adam’s apple bounce as he swallowed, taking in the tears spilling over your cheeks.

in the bitter cold, your shared breaths mixed into fog. you became aware of how the warmth of his body pressed into yours.

you couldn’t take it anymore.

you crash your lips onto sangwoo’s. he jolts at the sudden movement, sending his glasses careening down his nose.

he doesn’t kiss you back. after a beat, you pull away and frown. you open your mouth to berate him— but he silences you with his lips on yours.

you still fit together perfectly. your hands landed on his neck, his on the small of your back. you were both as eager as each other, and he wasted no time sliding his tongue into your mouth.

suddenly you were burning up. you grabbed hold of his jacket lapel, pulling him in even further, and he responded by kissing you with such force your head craned back. that elicited a mewl from you. sangwoo sighed, and you swore you felt the slightest buck of his hips before he restrained himself.

it was all so natural. and so very wrong.

you pull your mouth from his with a pant. there was a line of saliva connecting your lips from just how sloppy the kisses were.

you wipe your mouth. “i have to tell you something.”

he’s eyeing you curiously as you continue, a tinge of worry on his face.

“i’ve been seeing this boy,”

you pause. sangwoo’s expression is unflinching. he doesn’t seem surprised— like he’s already come to this conclusion on his own and you’ve just confirmed it.

full disclosure, you hadn’t exactly committed to the other guy. he was madly in love, obsessed like how you wished sangwoo was. but sangwoo had marked you early: now you couldn’t settle for any love that wasn’t his.

but you were alone for a year. and this guy was here, and he wanted you and he would stay.

you swallow thickly. you don’t want to say it. but you do.

“he proposed to me yesterday.”

his gaze flicks to the ground as he forces out a nod. he pushes his glasses up his nose in thought.

he raises his head as he asks bluntly, “what did you say?”

your mind imagines how he’s back home in his bed, waiting on you to walk through the door. your stomach lurched.

“that i had to think about it.”

he exhales gruffly. you feel your face twist in annoyance. was he.. disappointed?

“what should i have said, huh? if i said yes, i wouldn’t be here.”

“that would have been for your own good.”

in a second of shocked silence, a fire cracks alive inside of you.

you fist his shirt collar, snatching his face towards your level.

“then what the fuck am i doing? what have we been doing,” you frown, your voice suddenly dropping to a whisper. “—all these years?”

he says your name as a warning.

“no. if you want me gone, then why the fuck did you call me?”

“i didn’t say i want that—”

“then why won’t you just stay—?”

“you’re young!”

you jump at the raise of his voice. he steadies himself with an exhale.

he brings a reassuring hand to your one on his lapel, intertwining his fingers with yours. you could cry on the spot.

he repeats your name softly. “you haven’t lived enough. you need to see the world, explore the possibilities— not settle for the first man you know.”

if you’d sat in a barrel a little longer, then maybe you’d be aged enough for him. but you were ripe. far too sour. it repulsed him to crave your taste when it hadn’t even fully matured.

“do you not want me anymore?”

your voice is so hushed, the words barely exist. you’d been wondering why he fully disappeared this time, if maybe he found someone else in america.

“i do want you.” his hand comes to cup your chin. he chuckles, “but i’m old, and i shouldn’t.”

you had been so full of youth, and he selfishly siphoned it. sangwoo started distancing himself in the first place so you’d let go of him— but you never did.

it’d been years of back and forth, push and pull. with you and with the dilemma in himself.

truthfully, he didn’t want to see you with another man. sangwoo loved you more than anything— the only exception being his shame.

“then why..”

he smothers you in a kiss because he knows what you’re going to say.

if it’s so wrong, then why did he take you in that night this all began?

you’d known sangwoo since you were little: your mothers worked late nights together at the store, so he was often looking after you when he had the time to spare between his already busy work schedule.

you didn’t have a man of the house after all, and sangwoo was a smart, caring substitute. he was your first crush before you even knew what the word meant.

last you heard he was off to the united states for business. until you ran into him in some shitty family mart.

sangwoo found you as a mess. your face was puffed, your eyes were bloodshot, mascara streaks down to your chin. it took him a moment to recognise you, and he was very taken aback once he did— obviously since you had grown alot, but because of the state you were in.

there’d been some conflict in your friend group, a boy played with your feelings, something or rather. those details have long since been forgotten to you now. you were heartbroken and alone and his heart just panged at the sight of you so distraught.

he couldn’t let you walk home alone like this.

he’s taken care of you since you were young. he tells himself it means nothing, that it’s not wrong.

but then back at his place, you’re cracking open bottle after bottle. you’re swaying in your seat and handsy with him and he’s intoxicated enough not to resist.

shit’s been so intense with acquisitions and stocks and all, and looking at your pretty face right now makes him forget all about it. he had a fondness for you as a girl, and that still holds now you’re a woman.

he’s not doing anything, but he’s not telling you to stop either. he must be drunker than you. no harm done then, right?

but then the floodgates opened. you’re sobbing, asking him what’s wrong with you. you practically beg for a sign that you’re worthy of someone wanting you. so he shows you, with a chaste kiss to the lips.

that’s all it was meant to be. you’re of age, so it’s not wrong— technically. you’re beautiful and he tells you that. of course men would want you.

but then you kiss him again. and again. and one thing leads to another.

that morning hangover slammed him twice as hard with the burden of what he’d done to you. you trusted him. your mother trusted him. and like some slimy old pervert, he took you back to his house and—

the thought had him retching.

he didn’t think himself a man who’d do such a thing. it was meant to be a moment of weakness, and there was a silent agreement that neither of you would speak it into existence.

but he never expected it to come this far.

this— being how sangwoo’s lips were parting yours with a bruising force. his tongue delved into your mouth with fervour: a hot contrast to the chill air nipping at your face.

you jumped when he squeezed at your ass, simultaneously pressing your body further into his. all restraint was gone. under that neat get-up of his, there was a starved man. and his hands were grabbing at every bump of your body.

he finally settled with both hands cupping your tits through your clothing. he broke the kiss to flick his gaze to your chest, muttering a curse before he latched his open mouth on your neck.

you jolted at the sudden heat, shivering in sangwoo’s grasp as he suckled at your skin—sensitive from the goosebumps caused by the cold.

your head was spinning. sangwoo was fucking starving, almost panting as he left a trail of wet kisses along your clavicle. your own shaky breaths fogged in the air. you steadied yourself with a hand buried into his hair.

he pressed his thumb down on the fabric and swiped over your nipple. you whine, and his groan in response is like a spotlight on the bulge digging into you.

as horny as you are— you chuckle. sangwoo looks dismayed.

“oh, nothing. i’m just surprised you can still get it up,”

he snatches your hand and wedges it down between your bodies, squeezing your palm over his erection through his pants. you gasp.

“are you done?” his tone is almost mocking. he’s out of patience now that he’s this hard.

in defiance, you rub your hand over him. he hisses before stopping you by the wrist. even through the slacks, you had felt his dick pulse at your touch.

“enough.”

he’s serious now, so you surrender.

but not before you gaze up at him through half-lidded eyes, batting your lashes as you softly take the skin of your lip between your teeth. sangwoo watched with bated breath.

he practically growls as he shoves your mouths back together.

the flickering of the streetlight overhead was a reminder of your whereabouts. as sangwoo pulls away, he darts his head around to check for an audience. none, fortunately for him.

you cross your arms. he adjusts his glasses and fixes up his blazer, yet leaves his hair a ruffled mop. it makes you snort.

you catch his lip curl into a smile, before he sighs.

“let’s keep walking. it’s not far from here.”

ah yes, his hotel room.

he always booked top dollar. over the years as he’d return home to visit, you’d stay the week at his suite imagining yourself as a spoiled stay-at-home wife.

you told him about these daydreams, and much to his amusement. sangwoo found it endearing— he even adorned you with jewellery to humour the idea.

sangwoo gently takes you by the hand. he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, letting the featherlight touch of his fingers linger on your cheek.

you can’t help yourself to press a quick peck to his lips. and as you pull away, there’s a small smile on his face.

there’s a certain energy hanging in the air as you both walked the pavement, all the way to door of his suite. neither of you fill the silence.

tonight might be the end of your life tangled with sangwoo— or the beginning of a new one. you didn’t know which. maybe he didn’t either.

he’s gentle as he leads you by the hand to sit at the edge of the bed. he shrugs off his blazer. impatient, you hook a finger around his belt loop and pull him to stand between your legs.

your hands glide over the expanse of his thighs, and he cups your face in kind.

“you’re so gorgeous,” he mutters. “i don’t tell you that nearly enough.”

you weren’t bitter anymore. you just wanted him to stay this time. but in the back of your mind, you know he’s only laid himself bare tonight because he isn’t coming back.

you can’t linger on that though. not when he’s here, in front of you now, holding you like you’re the most precious girl in the world.

”can you show me?”

without further question, his hands are on both sides of your neck as his lips come crashing down to yours. it’s almost feral, the way he pushes you down against the sheets, hiking a knee to part your legs. he fills that gap with his own pelvis on yours.

clothes weren’t even off yet— still you were both panting from the rush of the kisses. his tongue explored your mouth like he was tasting every last bit of you. his eagerness had you buzzing.

it didn’t take much longer for him to practically rip off your bottoms, wasting no time slipping a hand under your panties. he cursed against your lips when he felt how slick you were already.

you crumpled his button-up in a fist, trembling as he glided his fingers over your cunt.

you weren’t the type to beg, but you were too impatient. sangwoo always takes his time to savour it or whatever. but you’ve had a years worth without being fucked like how he does it.

“sangwoo,” you drawl in a breathy moan. his lips part with a pant at that. “please, just—”

you yelp when he spreads you open with two of his thick fingers. sangwoo latches his mouth to your nape. you hear his heavy breathing at your ear as he repeats curling his fingers inside of you, whimpers spilling shamelessly from your mouth.

“i want you, please,”

your dignity was gone. you could feel how bad he wants it too, with how his boner was rutting into your thigh, how he was sucking hickeys onto your neck to conceal his own grunts.

you take matters into your own hands, quite literally reaching down to fumble for his dick. his hand pulls out at that. you whine.

“patience, sweetheart.” his lips curl into a smirk. cocky ass.

“just fuck me already, you old man.”

he hisses as he pins both your wrists down in one hand. the other slides three of his fingers back into you. you cry out as he sets a ruthless pace, angled to hit your sweet spot each time.

you felt a wet spot on your bare thigh— and realise it’s his tip leaking through his pants. between your moans, you huff a laugh. he gazes at you unimpressed, still pissed from the age comment.

he only hates it so much because it gets him hot.

you felt your stomach tightening, but you force yourself to teeter on the edge of bliss. you didn’t want him to unravel you now, not before he’s in you.

“fuck— fuck me,” you stammer out, lashes fluttering as you pulsed on the fringes of orgasm.

he hums as if he needs to think about it.

“sangwoo, i’m gonna—”

“go ahead, pretty girl.”

he lifts his thumb to rub circles around your clit while his fingers keep pistoning in and out of you. your whole body jolts as you cry out, a mix of moans and cusses as you cum. he draws you out as long as he can, and you writhe against his grip on your wrists.

“i fucking hate you.” you spit.

the sound of his zipper makes your eyes widen, and he snickers.

“thought you wanted this old man?”

he lets go of your wrists, but catches you again as you raise a hand to slap him.

you hated that you wanted him all the time. and he hated himself the same. you just wish you knew how you were supposed to live without that.

his dick slaps your belly as he pulls down his boxers and pants. you gulp at just how hard he was, how his tip had a string of pre-cum connected to your stomach.

“so beautiful.” he hooked his arms under your knees to pull you closer, and you gasped as his tip prodded at you.

you whined his name again when he dragged himself over your entrance. he chuckled, swinging your legs over his shoulders.

“you’ve earned it.”

your moans overlapped each other’s as sangwoo buried himself to the hilt. he paused for a beat, dick twitching inside of you.

“haven’t you—?”

“god, no— fuck..” he snapped his hips for a quick thrust. you both shudder. “you’re the only..”

his eyes squeeze shut with a groan as you shift your own hips to slide up on him.

he wraps a hand around your neck, biting his lip as he starts really fucking you. his grip is enough to make you hazy.

your head lolled back into the mattress as he pounded you like a crazed man. like it’d be the last time he ever could.

“how can you expect— fffuck, expect me to be with anyone else?”

the pad of his thumb slides onto your tongue.

“don’t say that,” he pants.

you close your lips around him to suck, and he mutters a curse as his hips pick up the pace.

sangwoo huffs out your name needily, removing his thumb to kiss you. you moan against each other’s lips as you tremble through a second orgasm. he pulls out shortly after, shooting ropes of cum onto the bedsheets.

he was out of risks to take.

he’s careful as he lifts you into his arms and takes you both to the bath.

you missed being coddled. you missed him, being so.. fatherly.

he scrubbed your skin, he brushed your hair. he kissed your forehead as he tucked you in. he held you close as he fell asleep, and you kept your eyes peeled for as long as you could manage. you knew when you opened them in the morning, he’d be gone.

it was only a few days later that you heard about sangwoo after waking to a cold bed in the hotel.

your mother told you that he was in hot water. he was off the map while there was a warrant out for his arrest— lots of debt and fraud shit. she didn’t believe it. you couldn’t either.

that night, you laid beside your now fiancee in bed. he heard the news, but he thinks it’s just old lady gossip. he’d never guess how deep under your skin you were screaming. sangwoo wasn’t just some guy who babysat you, he was your first everything. and your fiancee could never know that.

your turned your face into the pillow to muffle your sobs as he slept.

[wbbpls]

Platonic Plus One? (Chapter 3)

Azzi POV

The girls finished getting ready, naturally working around each other. They went down for dinner and started greeting the family. The first to greet them was Azzi’s grandma. 

“Sweetheart, I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Grandma.” Azzi bends down to hug her grandmother. The three women spent time catching up about school, basketball, and summer plans. Eventually, her grandmother switches gears. 

“So no boys to bring home with you, huh darling?”

“No, Grandma. Just focused on basketball.”

“You know Jonathan is here? That sweet boy you went to prom with. His older brother is close to Brandon.” 

“We’re just friends. I’m really fine and just focused on basketball right now.” Azzi tries to smile politely, but she's already heard this a million times.

“Okay, okay, I’ll leave it alone. I trust Paige is looking after you in the meantime.”

“You know it, Grandma Fudd!” 

“Ugh, Paige, don’t enable her.” Azzi whispers when her grandmother walks away. Azzi’s aunt notices the girls from across the room and makes her way over.

Azzi rolls her eyes and whispers to Paige. “Time to get reamed out part 2 about not bringing a guy.”

“Azzi, my love! Paige! It’s so good to see you, beautiful girls.”

“Hey, Aunt Chrissy!” The girls say simultaneously.

“Azzi, before we catch up, I must say it’s so sweet to see how happy you are.”

“Oh, wow, thanks…it’s always nice to see the family.”

“And you, Paige!” Her aunt grabs her hands. “It’s always been you. I’m just so happy!”

Paige had no idea what to say to that. What does it even mean? Before either of the girls could respond, one of the many cousins yelled from the other side of the room. “Yo, Mom, we need you for a picture!”

“Well, duty calls. Oh, and don’t worry, sweetie, I already told the boys to leave you alone.” She winks at the girls and smiles as she walks away.

“Uh, that was weird.”

“Really weird. But like oddly nice? I don’t think she’s ever greeted me like that at a family event.”

“Maybe she’s just a romance gal, you know? Feelin' the vibe of the wedding.”

“Also, when has she ever told a boy to leave me alone?” Azzi is completely lost now. 

“I don’t know, man, but take what you can get. For example, I see a bar that likely has shirley temples. You want anything?”

Azzi chuckles, “Yeah, I’ll take a glass of red wine.”

“You got it, Princess.”

When Paige walks away, one of the groomsmen accidentally bumps into Azzi. “Shit I’m so sorry. Oh my god. You’re Azzi Fudd.”

“Haha, it’s okay. You’re one of Brandon’s groomsmen, right? What’s your name?”

“I’m Jake! I’m pretty sure we are paired to walk down the aisle together.” 

He’s handsome, tall, and respectful, but Azzi finds herself looking to see if Paige is done getting drinks. Azzi tries to make small talk, knowing she needs to spend time with more people than Paige. “I think we are going to have tons of events together this week. Seems like it’s packed with events.”

“Seriously, so many events! My girlfriend is a little annoyed I’ll have to leave her so much. I’m sure Paige gets it, though.” 

“Yeah, luckily, she’s really close with my family, so she’ll get along just fine.”

“Plus, pretty much all of us are coupled off, so our partners can hang together when we are off with our wedding party duties. You and Paige are definitely the coolest couple here, though.”

Azzi freezes. What did he just say?

Her and...Paige? A couple? Not best friends. Not the UConn duo, but a couple. Like...the dating kind of couple? The kind that holds hands, and kisses, and-

Paige walks up, handing Azzi her drink. “Sorry that took so long, Az. It was a long line.”

“Aye, speak of the devil! Sup, I’m Jake, one of the groomsmen.” 

“Oh, hey man, nice to meet you.” 

“You too. I’m a huge fan, by the way!”

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” 

“It looks like everyone is starting to sit down for dinner. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

As the girls went to sit down, Paige pulled Azzi’s chair out for her, and Azzi noticed her cousin wiggle her eyebrows suggestively. Between her aunt, cousin, and Mrs. Miller, Azzi starts to think no one thinks she and Paige are best friends anymore. She decides to test this theory. 

Azzi leans into Paige, gently touching her shoulder to get her attention. “Do you know if there was anything else for tonight on that schedule?” 

“Hm, no, I don’t think so. Jose brought his PS5 portal remote, so we might play fortnight after this if you’re down.” Paige keeps babbling about random video games, and Azzi notices one of the other bridesmaids smiling at them adoringly. Time to push the limits some more. Azzi begins to run her fingers through Paige’s hair. “Looks like something is in your hair, P., Just getting it out.”

Paige’s eyes flutter closed for a second at the feeling of her fingers. “Thanks, Az.” That same bridesmaid now practically has heart eyes, and she notices her Mom glance over a smile. Did people do this before, too? Nothing is over the top. If anything, this all feels almost normal, as if nothing really changed. 

It’s suddenly getting hard to breathe, and Azzi begins to shake her leg. “Paige, sweetie, could you help me with something real quick?”

Paige looks up from her food mid bite and looks at Azzi as if she asked her to cure some disease. She swallows her bite dramatically. “Uh, sure. You okay, darling?” 

Azzi grabs Paige’s wrist and quickly drags her toward the nearest bathroom. “Yep!” Azzi says with a high voice. Thankfully, it's a one-person bathroom, so no one else is here to hear what she will say, if she can even get it out of her. She paces back and forth, trying to piece it all together. 

“Azzi, what’s wrong? Did someone say something to you?”

“Everyone thinks we’re dating,” Azzi blurts out and stops to look at Paige. She doesn’t want Paige to freak out and leave. 

Paige contorts her face in confusion. “Dude, literally who thinks that?”

“Literally everyone!” Azzi covers her face with her hands. 

“Okay, but why would they think that? Your family knows we’ve been best friends for years.” 

“I don’t know! It’s you and me. Paige and Azzi. It’s just weird.” 

Paige crosses her arms and mumbles, “Aight, it's not the weirdest thing in the world to date me, damn.” 

“Ugh, Paige, not now.” 

“It’s fine, Az. Let’s just go clear things up. They probably assumed that since you brought me as a plus one. You don’t need to worry about anyone thinking you’d actually date me.” Paige moves towards the door to go back to the dining room, but Azzi grabs her arm again. “No, wait.” 

“Dude, you really need to stop grabbing my wrist. There’s going to be an Azzi handprint permanently there by the end of the week.”

“Maybe we just don’t correct them.”

Paige has never whipped her head so fast in her life. “What? W-why would be do that?” 

“Were you not in the same room with my grandma hounding me about dating? Did you not see how nice the rest of my family has been to me since they thought we were dating?  It’s going to be such a long week of everyone up my ass and us dating would this would fix it. Please?”

“Fix it? Us? There isn’t actually an us though, Az!”

“Oh, now the thought of dating me is oh so horrible?

“No! Az, you know I think you’re perfect. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Okay, so date me! It’s just a week, P. We still just act our normal selves most of the time. Then the next time a family member asks I’ll just be like oh yeah, we were better off as friends or something. I just need one week of peace with my family. Please, Paige, I’m begging you!”

“Alright, man, I’ll think about it. I just feel so bad lying to your family.” 

Azzi leans in to hug Paige and sighs. “I get it, P. I won’t pressure you. I’m happy to even have you here.” They stand in that hug for much longer than friends who definitely aren’t dating should. 

Suddenly, a knock at the door breaks them apart. They open the door to find Azzi’s aunt on the other side. “You okay, ladies? The next course is coming, and welcome speeches will start soon.” 

Azzi starts to stutter, not knowing what direction she and Paige agreed on. Luckily, Paige steps in. “Yeah, we’re good.” Then she laces her fingers into Azzi’s hands. “Ready to head back, baby?”

“Uh, y-yeah, babe.” Azzi stutters as she tries to ignore the heat that went through her body when Paige called her baby. Meanwhile, her Aunt Chrissy simply smiles and walks back towards the dining room as if they’ve been calling each other baby for years.

[heartsforjh]

here’s the second part to this ask! i apologize for the wait! things have been kind of hectic lately!

main masterlist | tik tok series masterlist

You set up your phone camera on the kitchen counter, hiding it behind some junk that you should probably tidy up later. You know your boyfriend, Will, is about to take a shower while you cook dinner, so you’ve decided to pull a harmless little prank on him.

You saw a girl on TikTok respond with just a “thank you” when her husband told her he loved her, and his reaction was hilarious. Will is like an affectionate, innocent puppy of a boyfriend, and you have to get his reaction to you trying it.

When you hear his footsteps approaching, you quickly grab some pots, pretending to look busy. He comes around the corner and stands beside you, resting a hand on your waist.

“Hey. What are you doing?” he asks, looking down at you.

You flash him a simple smile. “Hi, babe. I’m about to make dinner.”

“Alright. While you do that, I’m just gonna shower real quick,” he says, gently rubbing your back.

You nod. “Sounds good.”

“I’ll be right back. I love you,” his hand gently guides your face towards his, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

You return your attention back to the dinner you’re making. “Okay, great. Thank you!”

Silence.

He doesn’t move a muscle. He just stands there, waiting. You put on your most innocent face and glance up at him, acting clueless.

“Okay, yeah. I love you,” he repeats, as naturally as possible.

You nod and give him yet another smile. “Thank you!”

That’s when his brows knit together, a deep frown forming on his face. He must have realized he looks too harsh, because he tries to soften his expression. However, he just ends up looking concerned—and concerning—at the same time.

“Yeah… are you- are you gonna respond to me though?” he asks in the sweetest voice, which almost makes you feel bad.

You look down for a moment, as you struggle to hold back a grin. “What do you mean? I said thank you.”

“I know. But, that’s thank you. I said I love you. You didn’t say I love you,” he explains, trying his best to be patient. There’s worry—and maybe slight panic—written all over his face.

You shrug your shoulders, trying to seem unbothered. “Yeah.”

“What? What do you mean?” His voice cracks.

It’s really getting to him now. It’s past the point of odd, and he’s definitely noticed something’s up.

You sigh, dramatically. “By ‘yeah’? I mean, it’s a word that’s typically used for confirmation. I can’t believe you don’t know what that—”

“Baby, no,” his tone becomes desperate as he places his hands on either side of your hips, turning you to face him. “Can you please do it right?”

“Do what right?” you ask, giving your best oblivious act.

Will looks at you, his eyes soft and pleasing. “I love you. I love you, okay? Are you mad at me? We can talk about whatever it is.”

“Uhhh… okay, fine. I’m joking! It’s a little prank,” you admit with a laugh, giving into his pouting.

His head falls back, and he lets out a deep groan. “Baaaabe!”

“I’m sorry! I wanted to see what you’d do!” you say, smiling as you move closer to him.

He looks back at you, and immediately pulls you into a tight hug. “You scared me! I thought you were upset.”

“No, no, nothing’s wrong. Just wanted to mess with you,” you wrap your arms around his neck.

He shakes his head, playfully acting exhausted. “You’re crazy, but I love you.”

“Thanks,” you joke, not wanting to pass up the opportunity.

His face immediately drops. “Babe… too soon.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. You can go take your shower now,” you say, but he doesn’t budge. “I love you.”

He sighs in relief, then kisses the crown of your head. “That’s better, baby.”

You look up and give him a proper kiss, making sure he really knows how you feel about him. He peppers your face with kisses in return—a good sign. He lingers for a while after that, watching you make dinner and talking to you, until you finally convince him that all will be okay if he leaves for a few minutes to take his shower.

tags: @lukey-pookie-hughes43 @azure-dawn81 @joesnumerouno @macklin-celebrini-71 @randomcuboidshape

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