#but you also arent getting the full scope hes just kinda crazy and you deal with this explosive guy who let his anger issues take over
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im having so much fun writing cadet because hes just like this every day
#i love the kubrick stare its just the ocd stare to me#also i think in the end making caddy lamb a VN is the right idea because its a little easier to imply things about the characters this way#like you play as cadet so you have access to his journal and you can read it if you want to learn more about him#and when he experiences intrusive thoughts its a lot more personal and you are trapped in his head because he is the protagonist#and it makes the pious route a lot more interesting because you arent in his mind anymore but hes a lot more open about what hes thinking#but you also arent getting the full scope hes just kinda crazy and you deal with this explosive guy who let his anger issues take over#im just very invested in the ways in which i can convey what its like to have this shitass disorder#like making compulsions a thing that you have to actively choose not to do#and even if you consistently dont do them the options never disappear you just always have to say no#or give in and it doesnt make much of a difference#not so much that it ruins the player experience but just to make it apparent that it is an active battle to just be normal for 2 seconds#urgh i really am getting excited about this because it feels like im finally gonna be able to share this story#and actually be responsible for portraying a character with ocd who isnt like. a square who keeps things tidy. or whatever#not that its gonna be a complete game changer or even be noticed at all#i just need to put this story out there for myself more than anything to be honest
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