#but yes one of the best memories would be getting a degree <3 i graduated YAY! and since i've been at home for the past six months or so..
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You, part of the desiblr, tell us the best memories that you have made in 2022. this community has become so dead istg.
i spent most of my time this year on tumblr.
#but yes one of the best memories would be getting a degree <3 i graduated YAY! and since i've been at home for the past six months or so..#i got to know my family on a deeper level and that has helped me in improving my relationships with them; which i value a lot#overall this year has been peaceful i had a lot of time in my hands to engage in the things i love to do#and yes i did commit mistakes and hurt people knowingly or unknowingly; i've apologized for my actions and learned my lessons#i'm grateful for everything that has happened this year it helped me to become the person i'm today#also cherry on the top moment; as this year is ending; 2022 decided to bless me with my soulmate i finally found true love ♡#that's like the best memory of the best memories <3
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A Promise Across Time | Bruce Wayne/Batman x Magician!Reader (Part 1/3)
Synopsis: Bruce remembers the first date he had with Vivian and the time he truly felt alive again.
Bruce messed up. While it wasn't entirely his fault, he felt guilty to have seen Vivian all dressed up that night and ready to meet him inside the restaurant only for him to apologize and take a raincheck on their date. Their first date. She tried to be understanding by giving a smile and reassuring him that “these things happen” but he could see that she was looking forward to their dinner. He was too.
After their brief partnership in taking down Deacon Blackfire, Bruce wanted to get to know the Symbologist and Witch-out-of-practice a little more. She was intriguing, insightful, and sincere. Vivian did tell him that she didn't like politics, hence her preference to work in academia to get away from corporate politics. Despite her work dealing with symbols and icons, and many layers of research in sociology, history, geology, and philosophy, she prefered that people talked without the double meaning. That they stay true to their word. To be kind to one another. To tell it to her face than have someone stab her in the back.
But it can't be helped. People are people. So she just went to a place that has that kind of decency. Or at least have a bit more decency than in a corporate office.
It took him a while to find time to reach out to her again. He did try to call her hotel after that night but it was her father who answered and dropped the phone on him. Bruce was a bit surprised. No one really drops the phone on Bruce Wayne. Batman, sure. But Bruce Wayne? It was rare.
With everything going on with his day job and night job, Bruce decided to just approach her again once he's finished the Firefly case with Batman and some meetings with the board in Wayne Enterprise as Bruce Wayne. For Vivian, he waited until her family had gone back to Liverpool. He had a feeling that her father would slam the door at his face if he came to their hotel.
So, here he was now, entering Gotham University years after graduating. Walking down its familiar halls, Bruce recalled his undergraduate years there before continuing his studies at Yale where he got his degree in law. He was mostly familiar with the campus grounds of the Criminology, Information Technology, and Engineering campuses as he took those understudies when he was twenty-one. He remembered running through these halls with Harvey Dent, both young and full of themselves.
There were still happy times, he thought as he remembered his best friend. But it was mostly overshadowed by the bad memories. The struggle he went through.
Bruce rarely entered the Classics Campus where the literature and history majors were. Sure he would visit the library there and go to some classes in that building, but he can't say he knew the layout like the palm of his hand. So, as he entered the large and classical looking building with its pillars and statues, he had to ask his way around. Specifically to where Professor Vivian Pryor was at his hour.
Maybe surprising her at her place of work wasn't such a good idea. He forgot, Vivian was a professor, she'll be moving around than staying in one place.
A couple of students he asked were in shock that he was there and stammered in giving directions,” Bruce – Mr. Wayne – Mr. Billionaire Bruce Wayne,” the student said when he approached them, “Professor Pryor's — uh — it's around 2PM now, and it's a Friday… I think she'll be at 304, the Symposium.”
“Symposium?” Bruce said.
“Right, sorry, just a campus joke – Elliot's Hall.”
“Thanks.”
He found classroom 304 easily as it was the first room he saw upon taking the final step at the stairs, and just in time the students were exiting the classroom. Some paused as they saw him and then moved along when Bruce greeted them and asked if Vivian Pryor was still inside. They said yes and he went.
The amphitheater-styled room was empty, save for the red-haired woman packing her things at the center stage. Her hair was styled to a bun this time, a bit out of place now since it was the afternoon, her clothes were similar to the one she wore in her first book launch – the tweed high-waisted pants, a white button-shirt, boots, and a coat which she was just about to wear until she saw him approaching her.
“Bruce Wayne,” she said, quite surprised to see him there.
“Professor Pryor,” Bruce smiled and held out the small bouquet he brought. “I hope you're not busy.”
Vivian thanked him for the flowers. “Why?”
“I was wondering if we can talk? We didn't really get the chance to since I canceled our date at the last minute.”
“It was an emergency. Things happen,” Vivian shrugged. “Don't tell me that's been bothering you all this time.”
“It has.”
Vivian hid her blush in the flowers. “That must have been awful for you. You could have called or dropped by if it bothered you so much. I wouldn't mind… but I understand you're busy so I just thought it'd be best not to bother you too much.”
“I did, actually called and dropped by the hotel you and your family were staying at… but your father wasn't too happy about it.”
“What?” Vivian raised a brow at him.
“He never told you, didn't he?”Oops.
“That son of a – sorry, grandma but your son is such a…” Vivian got her phone and typed furiously fast and hit sent. “He will not be doing that again. I am so sorry about that, Bruce. I hope this doesn't give you a bad impression on my family my dad is just –”
BING!
Vivian opened the chat – it was their family group chat – and typed a quick reply and turned the chat in silent mode, knowing it was going to be flooded with messages from her stepfather.
Turning to Bruce, who had an amused smile on his face, Vivian said, “Again, I am so sorry about that – just so we're clear, that wasn't me telling my dad to slam the door or drop the phone, he did it. If you called, I would have answered the phone.”
“It's fine. I’m glad you're not mad at me for that night.”
“Bruce, shit happens,” she sighed, he was surprised with her language, “While it was a little shitty that I got dressed up only to spend my night drinking beer in the nearest bar that night, you had an emergency. It happens, and I'm sure it will happen again along the road. You can't beat yourself over a date that didn't go as planned.”
���Well, I promise that this time it won't. Maybe we can have another try? This Friday, afterwork. I'll pick you up at your hotel.”
“And where will we go?”
Bruce sighed. “You know, I've been asking the same thing myself. I was thinking of the museum tour but then I'm sure you’ve memorized Gotham Museum by now.”
“I work there, Bruce. Part-time,” she grinned.
“So, I was thinking something different for the both of us. So we'd be at par with the experience.”
“And what do you think that would be?”
“There's a nice restaurant not far, it's new, and it's got music. Not too loud that we won't hear each other. And room to dance.”
“I didn't know Bruce Wayne could dance.”
“I don't. Do you?”
“Not particularly… alright, Friday. My last class is at four. You can pick me up at five – to give the lady a little time to prepare?”
“Your hotel then?”
“Here is fine. My students are making signs over your shoulder that they'd be the one to help me prepare,” Vivian waved at the group who entered the room and had a large message on their pad saying: Makeover. Room 203.
Bruce chuckled at the sight of the girls, and turned to Vivian to say, “Here there. Tomorrow at five.”
“Something fancy or casual?”
“A little bit of both if you like. I guess I should get going, your class is here.”
“Yes, go. Before they take this as a sign it's free period… and Mr. Wayne.”
“Yes?”
Vivian held the flowers. “I appreciate the flowers, but it breaks my heart to see them wither at the end of the day.”
“No flowers then. Chocolates?”
“A girl's best friend.”
“Coffee?”
“Now you're speaking my language.”
“I'll take note. See you tomorrow, Vivian.”
“You too.”
As Bruce climbed the steps, he passed by the giggling students and said out loud for Vivian to hear, teasingly, “I'll leave her in your hands. Make sure she's free tomorrow and ready.”
“You got it, Mr. Wayne,” one of them giggled.
As soon as Bruce closed the door behind him, he heard teasing and squeals from the students and Vivian telling them, “At least have the decency to wait for him to leave the freaking door before doing that. Jesus. Come on, I taught you better, didn't I?”
Bruce smiled as he heard the laughter in the room.
On the day of their date, Bruce made sure to finish all his work in Wayne Enterprise before 3 PM, and went to make sure Gotham wasn't on fire before making a quick change in the office bathroom, which caught the attention of Lucius Fox and asked, “Off to a date, Mr. Wayne?”
“I am,” he said as he tried to fix his tie. Today it just wasn't working with him.
Seeing his struggle, Lucius Fox chuckled and offered to fix it for him, and he let the man. “And who is this lovely lady you're getting all dressed up for today, Mr. Wayne? If it's alright to ask.”
Bruce smiled. “Professor Vivian Pryor.”
“Ah, the author. She's a lovely woman. Going dancing, I see?”
“What made you think so?”
“Your shoes.”
“Alfred picked them for me today. I told him that I was heading to the Black Bird tonight with Vivian.”
“Leave it to Alfred to give you a good suit and shoes for a night of dancing,” Lucius laughed and finished his work and pressed down Bruce's suit. “I think that would be enough to sweep her off her feet.”
Bruce laughed. “Thanks, Lucius.”
“Have fun, Mr. Wayne!”
Driving to Gotham University, Bruce waited for Vivian at the Classics Campus in his pressed suit, heavy coat, and a box of chocolates he thought he'd like. He was a bit early – ten minutes early – but he didn't wait too long because Vivian came out with some of her colleagues who kept gushing over her dress.
And they had more than one reason to.
As Vivian went down, Bruce paused as he took in the sight of her. Her red locks placed in a coiffer with a pearl accessory to keep it up, she wore a bit of makeup that stands out for the evening, and an emerald dress with a square neckline that gives enough skin for anyone to want more, the bodice hugged her body perfectly with a good emphasis on her chest while still being modest, and a skirt made off soft and flowing material that made it look like she was walking underwater.
“Bruce!” Vivian smiled as soon as she saw him and ran towards his direction to get away from her teasing colleagues “Don't you look handsome. Are those dance shoes? And you said you don't dance.”
“Alfred picked them out for the day,” Bruce shrugged. “I didn't even know I had them. You look stunning, Vivian.”
A blush crept up her cheeks and Vivian looked away to hide it but he saw. It was adorable.
“You said dancing, so I picked something that looks like it's for dancing… actually, it was my neighbor in the hotel that picked it. He's this fashion designer in Gotham for an event and he gave me this for the night.”
“Well, I guess we're definitely dancing tonight. Also,” Bruce held the chocolates out. “Chocolates as promised, but Alfred said it's important to give a lady flowers on a date, so,” he opened the box and showed the flower-shaped chocolates.
Vivian chuckled and said, “smart. You found a loophole with my no-flowers rule.”
“Shall we?” He offered his arm to her.
“Yes, we shall,” Vivian turned to her friends and called for her colleagues and students, who stayed longer to see her be picked up by her – in their words – “knight in shining armor”, to get her things that they kept hostage so she could show off her dress. “This doesn't exempt you from tomorrow's test. Got it?” Vivian told the students as she joined Bruce.
“Boo!” Her students teased.
“Don't worry, I'll try to get her forget about the test tomorrow,” Bruce joked.
“You do that, Mr. Wayne. You'll be saving our asses from another essay!”
“Thanks for taking care of her for me!”
“Have fun, Vivian!” Her colleagues called out.
Heading to the parking lot, Vivian was in shock to find the expensive looking car parked between two economy-sedans, one of which was owned by her colleague, Justin Kirk, who was about to leave for home and only waved at her goodnight without his usual smile. As she entered the car, Vivian took a breath.
“A manual,” Vivian commended him.
“If you're going to drive a really fast car, you should drive it right,” he smirked.
She smirked. “If you're going to drive a really fast car, you shouldn't drive it in Gotham, Mr. Wayne. Else you'll find yourself getting troubles. This beast is made for speed not everyday traffic.”
“Good thing we'll be driving on a road that lets me drive fast then,” Bruce left the parking space.
“I thought we were going dancing in Black Bird?” Vivian asked.
“We are. Just not in Gotham City. The Black Bird at the outskirts has a good view.”
Long Island. He was taking her to Long Island.
“I can't believe you're actually taking me outside of Gotham City for our first date,” Vivian chuckled.
“I gotta make it up to you for cancelling. Besides, you'll see why the original Black Bird is way better than the branch in Gotham. I love Gotham but I think you'll like this place more than the one in Founder's Island.”
“And I thought we're both trying something new tonight.”
“We are. I don't usually dance. But with you, I'll give it a shot.”
The drive to Long Island was quick and fast. Bruce made sure to show her that the car wasn't just for show, that he can really drive it, and the entire time he would see at the corner of his eye the smile on her face. She also liked when he drifted the car. Not a flinch, just her smile reaching her ears. He could only imagine the look on her face if she rode the Batmobile during a chase. She'd love that he bet.
Minus the guns being fired at them or the RPG, which he encountered last week with Penguin's men trying to shake Batman off their tail.
The Black Bird at Long Island was at the outskirts, atop a cliff that connects down to the white beach. From where they sat at the covered balcony, Vivian could still see the lights coming from Gotham City, and a bit of smog that covered its skies.
“You're right, this does have a better view,” she told Bruce. “And has good music too.”
“Glad you like it.”
Their food came not long after they finished their wine. It was good food, probably the best she tasted from a restaurant. She shouldn't be surprised since the Black Bird had a michelin star. She ordered an Alfredo, and for a moment she remembered her time eating at one of the restaurants in Rome when she had her semester there.
They talked about a lot of things as they ate. About their work, and then their studies, which they were invested in learning about from one another. She was surprised when he mentioned he had degrees in Criminal Science, Forensic Sciences, Computer Sciences, Chemistry and Engineering by the time he was twenty-one. But she remembered his little secret, and her little secret, and thought that it made sense for Batman to have those under his belt. Still, considering he still didn't know that she knew he was Batman, the fact he had five degrees under his belt by twenty-one, along with a degree in law from Yale was impressive.
At twenty-one she was still in uni, going though classes, writing papers, doing her reading for tomorrow's lecture during her part-time jobs. Once, during a slow night, she gave a lecture on Dante's Divine Comedy to a homeless man who asked for a cup of coffee. It was the most philosophical conversation she had since then. She wondered where the old man was now.
When their desserts came, Vivian ordered an Affogato, the band started to play more upbeat music, encouraging people to come up and dance. From their place, Vivian and Bruce watched as some of the guests got up and danced to the upbeat, dance music from the sixties.
“So, are we going to just sit here and watch them or are you going to use those dance shoes that your butler prepared for tonight?” Vivian said.
Bruce got up from his seat and held out his hand to her. “Don't hit me if I step on your foot.”
“Don't worry, Mr. Wayne, we'll take things slow,” Vivian took his hand and led him to where the others were.
When Bruce was about to put his hand on her waist to do some ballroom dance he's done in galas, Vivian removed his hand and told him, “This is jazz and blues, Bruce.”
“I told you, I'm not much of a dancer.”
“Just follow my lead,” Vivian grinned and circled him with his hand still holding hers, when she pulled out, Bruce instinctively pulled her back in and kept the rhythm.
“And you said you don't dance,” he whispered to her ear.
“I might have gone to clubs like this back in Liverpool and learned a thing or two,” she got out of his chest and led them through the dance. Her dress danced the entire time, giving an illusion of the music flowing through them in each twirl and step. Bruce held her hand the entire time and his smile never faltered, and to surprise her he even dipped her back a little and pulled down her hair to add more flare to her get up as she danced.
By the end of the second song, the two left the Black Bird, with Bruce paying for their dinner, but instead of head home, they went down to the white beach. Wearing her coat and holding her shoes, Vivian relished the feeling of sand burying her feet as they walked and the smell of the ocean.
“You lied,” said Bruce.
“About that?”
“About dancing. We weren't par in this date.”
“I really don't dance, you know.”
“Those moves says differently.”
“I'm telling you, that was just me fooling around,” Vivian laughed. “You weren't bad yourself. I'm sure if you brought me to those fancy places that has ballroom dances I'd be the one following your lead.”
“Naturally, I was raised by a butler,” it was supposed to be a joke but Vivian looked at him with a sad gaze, but she smiled nonetheless.
“Alfred raised a gentleman,” Vivian squeezed his hand. “He raised a good man.”
“He was always generous and said it was my parents who raised me. They did for a time until they were no longer there. He was the one who taught me all of this – how to talk, how to act, how to dress up, manners, how to dance, and how to woo a woman.”
“Well, he did a good job.”
“What about you? Who taught you how to dance?” He had a guess it was her stepfather.
“It was my mom who would bring me to those jazz clubs,” Vivian began. “I know, I was too young to be in those places but she just had to. You see, there was a father-daughter dance in my old school. I didn't go because I didn't really have a dad, and I actually hid the poster from my school diary then so she wouldn't find out. She's been working more shifts that time and I knew she was tired. But some nosy neighbor asked if I was sick since I wasn't in the dance last night.”
“She found out.”
“Yup. What she did was, she got me to wear this old sixties dress she found in the thrift shop. The both of us did. It was a matching set, and we took a bus to some jazz club. She was friends with the security there and she knew the band playing. She told them: “my daughter missed her father-daughter dance, and I want to take her to one”. They played this jazz and blues song and we danced. Then, Adam came and he danced with me too. In fact, all of the ladies and gentlemen there danced with me.”
“I'm glad you have that memory of her. That you still remember the happy times and not just…”
He had slipped. Vivian Pryor hasn't told Bruce Wayne about her mother. She told Batman that time they were in the crypts. But she brushed it off so easily and said, “I try to remember more of the happy things that happened now. For a time all of those happy things were gone and what I remember of my mother was finding her on that pavement, dead. But I learned that there are also happy memories that I can look back to. It was a tragedy what happened but my mom's life wasn't one. She made sure to remind us that she lived happily.
“One moment does not define a person's life. It's the journey they made, the memories they leave with those who mourn their passing. And to have someone to mourn you means you have lived life as it is meant to be.”
Bruce stopped in his tracks, pulling her to a halt as well. “Where did you read that from?”
“I didn't,” she grinned. “I thought it myself. Right now.”
“No. You can't just say something so deep just out of the blue,” he laughed.
“I swear! I didn't read it from somewhere.”
“I guess you really are an author.”
“An academic author.”
Looking into the darkness of the sea, Bruce sighed. “To have someone to mourn your passing… a haunting thought if you ask me.”
“You think no one will mourn you?”
“When my parents died Gotham mourned them, but there was only a handful of us who truly grieved. A handful of us who Thomas and Martha Wayne meant to. A friend, family, a son… most of those people are gone now.”
“I would grieve,” Vivian said.
“We barely know it each other.”
“I know but… don't take this the wrong way but I'm more sensitive to life around me than most people,” Vivian chose her words carefully. “It's like… it's like let's say the sea. Whenever it comes to the beach it leaves a mark on the sand. Give it a couple of decades or centuries and it can form something with it. I'm the surface of this sand or that cliff, and each person is an ocean who makes their mark and I feel everything them and everything about them…
“So, when the ocean suddenly disappears or dries up, I would know and it would hurt me more sometimes than it should.”
Because she was a witch. Because her magic makes her sensitive to life around her.
“It's one of the reasons when my pet bunny died I cried for weeks,” Vivian attempted to joke but when she saw Bruce's gaze on her she fell silent because he was loss for words. “We might have just met now, but you've helped me so much for the past few weeks.” As Bruce Wayne and Batman. “And after this night, I will grieve your loss. And I would mourn Gotham for the person they lost. The man who has a vision and has been fighting to save it.”
It was only then she realized how close they were. That he held her waist while still holding her hand, that he leaned down close and that she was whispering the last few sentences as he looked at her closely.
“Do you have rules against kissing on first dates?” Bruce teased.
Vivian shook her head, “Not tonight,” she pulled him down and kissed him.
Bruce wrapped his arms around her to pull her up. Her lips were soft and had the taste of the Affogato from earlier, and the way she pressed her tongue against his had him hold her tighter and wanting more. That's when he had her wrap her legs around him so he could kiss her properly, and to hold her entirely. At some point, they fell on the sand with Vivian straddling him and their lips still moving with one another.
Before it could escalate, Vivian pulled away. “But I do have one on sleeping with anyone on the first date.”
Bruce chuckled. “Understandable… you have a way with words, Professor.”
“Thank the dozens of philosophers whose works I've read for years now.”
Bruce reached up and brushed back a lock of red hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek. “Thank you for tonight.”
“I should be thanking you, Bruce. You know how to sweep a girl off her feet.”
He shook his head and cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his touch, nuzzling into his palm. “Thank you… I haven't had this kind of conversation for a long time now. Where I'm not guarded… where I can relax and talk to someone who actually listens… and who is not my butler.”
Vivian smiled and leaned down to kiss his lips again. “Anytime.”
“So, are you free again this Friday?”
Vivian laughed, “we haven't even finished this date.”
“Well, I want to see you again.”
“You know where I'm temporarily staying until my real estate agent finalizes the papers for my new condo. And if you ever need a listening friend, you can always call, and I'll always answer. Unless I have class.”
“As much as I want to get you access to Wayne Tower, I want this to be something between us for a while. Something they won't publicize in Gotham.”
“Understandable. I'll tell everyone it was just one date then.”
“But I hope you're free next Friday or maybe tomorrow.”
“I'm needed at the museum tomorrow. Next Friday. I'll make sure to clear my schedule for that.”
“And Vivian?”
“Yes, Bruce?”
“I will also grieve if you were to disappear.”
Vivian smiled. “Then I promise that I won't disappear… as long as you promise too.”
He knew it was foolish to make such a promise but Bruce said, “I will.”
~*~
Standing before Superman and Wonder Woman, Vivian felt her whole world crumbling after hearing what they said. Everything just felt numb after hearing them say to her, “Batman's gone, Vivian. We're so sorry.” And all they could give her was his cape and how it happened. All she heard was Bruce was gone and it was because of Darkseid.
“No,” Vivian spoke for the first time since Superman and Wonder Woman gave the news. “No, no, no, no!” Vivian cried and broke down. Alfred was quick to catch her and Damian ran to her side as she cried. “No, no, no! He can't,” Vivian clutched his cape and cowl trying to use as an anchor point to find him. Her magic flowed around her along with the Phoenix's magical energy.
“Viv,” Tim tried to console her but Vivian sobbed, her magic no longer glowing around her and a painful cry came from the woman.
“I can't feel him… I can't –” she cried. “I can't feel you…”
Seeing her inconsolable state, Damian faced Superman and Wonder Woman, and told them, “You've done enough.”
“Damian,” Dick chastised him. “It's not their –”
“A Kryptonian and an Amazon, Grayson,” Damian glared at him. “Father was a man… look at her, Dick.”
Dick did and saw Vivian crying on Alfred’s shoulder, still clutching on Bruce's cape and cowl, then to Damian and saw the tears building in his eyes. “Yeah, I think it's best you give us time,” he told the two heroes.
After Dick walked out the two heroes, he returned to the living room where Vivian still held onto the cape as she cried and grieved for the loss of her husband, and tried over and over to look for him. To feel his presence again but to avail.
“I can't feel him, Alfred,” she cried. “I can't feel Bruce.”
~*~
Pulled through the time stream and thrown to different times, Bruce woke in a convent bed with the sound of a voice calling his name, “Bruce!” Getting up, he reached for the candle on his bedside and lit a fire to bring light to his dark home.
“Quoth who?”
Silence.
Sighing, he placed back the candle on the best beside him where he saw the picture he drew of the red haired woman he kept seeing in his dreams. Her red hair, he painted it using red clay he found in the ground, and he kept an ample supply of the red clay in his current place of refuge to continue to paint the woman's portraits that slowly became clearer as days passed. It started from glimpses of her hair, then her brown eyes, her face was blurry at first but then her face would start to form.
The wind blew into his home and with it the scent of the ocean and the voice, “Bruce!”
“Vivian,” He spoke the name.
“Who is Vivian?” A nun came to his chambers. He was given his own quarters to keep him from those with fever and other ailments. “Finally recovering your memories, stranger?” Her Irish accent was strong.
“I cannot say for certain,” Bruce muttered.
“And this Vivian, whose name you speak of? Might she be the woman you have been painting day and night?”
“I do not know, Sister.”
The nun looked at him for a moment and said, “Pray, stranger. Pray that you remember so you may return to her whole.”
Bruce looked at the cross that hung on the wall across his bed then again to the portrait of the woman he drew. He chose to take her portrait and pray to her instead. Pray that he may remember and learn who it was that calls for his name “Bruce.”
Yes. His name. He remembers his name.
“My name, Sister,” he spoke before the nun left. “I remember the name given to me but not the name of thy kin.”
“And what is it?”
“Bruce.”
The nun smiled. “Well, good night, Mr. Bruce.”
The nun left the room and Bruce continued to look at the woman with red hair along with the image of the bat below. In a whisper, he repeated her name again and again. He came to this town with no name and no memory but an image of a woman with red hair.
“Do not… grieve, my Vivian,” he spoke in a whisper, the words coming from his heart. “I shall find you.”
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Hiya could you do Harry Crosby + “ if you asked me to marry you tomorrow, i'd say yes. “ “ what about today?” from one of your drabble prompt lists please and thanks 💛
Thank you so much for requesting, Nonnie! I’ve adored these Masters of the Air requests, especially getting to write for Harry my love!! Our favorite navigator 🥰
Quick warning that there is a nonzero chance of historical inaccuracies here, and the timeline may be a little off, but I did actual research for this one y’all! New additions to the ever-growing Useless Knowledge section of my brain: knowing where Lt. Harry Crosby studied for college (he was working on his graduate degree at the University of Iowa when the Pearl Harbor attack occurred; he went back to finish his degree there in 1947 and earned his PhD from Stanford University in 1953!), when and why he joined the Army Air Forces (paused his studies at U of I to enlist after Pearl Harbor), and where he was sent for his training (Mathers Field, California) before being stationed in Idaho, and eventually at East Anglia. Look at me go lol 🤪 Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.
a/n: well, that’ll teach me not to try to format my fics on mobile 😂 I guess the Harry fic’s coming out today! Hope you like it Nonnie <3
Masterlist
Just Say Yes
You waited anxiously under the maple tree at the edge of the campus courtyard, fiddling with the worn, creased paper in your hands — Harry’s last letter, telling you that this next visit home would likely be his last before he was transferred to Idaho, and then to who knows where.
I’ll meet you under our tree, pretty girl, the letter had read, Saturday, our usual time?
The tree— the very maple tree you stood in the shade of now— was where you had met often when you were both students at the University of Iowa, studying English. The tradition had started when you were paired up for a project, and Harry asked if you would mind working outside.
“I think better in the fresh air,” he had said, almost apologetically, and you had agreed almost instantly, captivated by the quiet but clearly very smart boy who sat next to you in class.
Even after the project was over and graded, you continued to meet under that tree nearly every day at 2 o’clock after class to compare class notes or exchange feedback on essays.
And after nearly four months of meeting and working together, it was under that tree where Harry Crosby finally asked you out on a date.
Leaning back against the tree, you were jolted out of your trip down memory lane by a familiar voice calling your name.
Grinning, you turned to see Harry strolling towards you, dapper in his dress uniform, one arm raised in greeting, the other cradling a bouquet of tulips— your favorite.
You pushed off from the tree, unable to wait a single second longer, and sprinted to meet him, uncaring of the students staring at the crazy lady running across their campus.
He opened his arms as the distance between you lessened until you crashed into him, burying your head in his chest. He stumbled back a bit, absorbing your momentum, but he was quick to embrace you, quicker still to turn your momentum into a dizzying, joyous twirl, lifting your feet off the ground.
You let out a gleeful laugh as the world spun around you, and pulled him in for a long-overdue kiss once your feet were firmly back on the ground.
After the two of you reluctantly pulled apart, you cupped his face in your hands, drinking him in: lips stained red from your lipstick, hat knocked askew, uniform now more than a little wrinkled, and best of all, those warm brown eyes you had missed so much overflowing with love.
He looked as dapper as ever.
“Hey, pretty girl,” he murmured with a smile, a greeting for your ears only.
It had been so long since you’d heard those words from his lips, and all you could do was blink back the tears that sprang to your eyes as you replied with a simple, tender “Hi.”
Understanding filled his eyes, and he pulled you into a hug, pressing a kiss to your forehead and allowing you a moment to compose yourself before the two of you headed back towards your tree.
“Oh!” He said, holding the bouquet out to you as if he just now remembered he had it, “For you, m’lady.”
You took the bouquet, fingering the delicate pink and yellow petals. “They’re beautiful, Harry,” you smiled up at him, “Thank you.”
“Anything for my girl,” he said, gesturing for you to sit and make yourself comfortable first before he settled next to you in the shade.
“So,” he said, wrapping an arm around you, “Tell me everything. What have I missed? How’d that paper go that you were telling me about?”
You couldn’t help but light up at the mention of your latest paper— your pride and joy, your best work yet if you didn’t say so yourself— and at Harry’s encouraging smile, you rambled on about themes and motifs and parallels, Harry occasionally chiming in with a suggestion that made the connections you had made even clearer.
Despite the plethora of letters you had sent each other, each doing your best to keep the other updated, you and Harry never seemed to run out of things to talk about: the conversation flowed from your latest paper to how Harry had been giving the guys some book recommendations based on your suggestions, to the small bookshop you had taken to visiting, compiling a list of titles for him that you thought he’d enjoy. Harry mentioned that some of his comrades had set up a small library of sorts in the barracks, running on the honor system, but they’d likely need to shut it down soon, with people moving to their more permanent placements.
“Oh that reminds me,” Harry said, digging in his pocket for a moment before triumphantly revealing a scrap of paper with his distinctive scrawl.
“Plenty of the guys are getting letters from their wives and sweethearts,” he said, slipping you the small piece of paper with the address of his next assignment in Boise, “I wanna make sure I’m one of ‘em.”
“Getting letters from your wife, or your sweetheart?” You asked playfully, tucking the slip of paper safely in your pocket.
“Uh.. Well, I mean…” Harry stammered, trying very hard not to think about the small box in his pocket.
“Hey,” you pause to assure him, “I was just kidding.” Under the shade of your tree, you rested your head on his shoulder, looking out at the courtyard. “I know we’re a little young, but…” You took a deep breath, entwining your fingers with his, “If you asked me to marry you tomorrow, I’d say yes.”
You caught the barest hint of movement out of the corner of your eye, and you glanced over to see a small box held out to you.
A box in Harry’s hand that was open to reveal a delicate gold ring.
“What about today?” Harry asked softly, close enough that his breath brushed your cheek.
“I— Harry—” You were speechless, your world zeroing in on that small gold band before realizing that you had been silent for far too long.
You nodded furiously, turning to kiss him before you could even get the words out.
“Is that a—”
Harry’s tentative question was cut short by your lips crashing onto his. His hands came up to cup your cheeks, kissing you back with equal fervor, the ring box left in your lap.
You both eventually pulled away, gasping for air. Harry’s forehead remained pressed to yours, chocolate brown eyes locked on you.
“Was that a yes?” He asked, lips still just barely brushing yours, and you could feel him trying not to smile.
You were an English major. There were a thousand words you could have said, a thousand speeches of acceptance and love and devotion you could have made.
Only one word mattered to you just then.
“Yes.”
#sage answers#my writing#harry crosby#lt harry crosby#masters of the air#masters of the air x reader#harry crosby x reader#anthony boyle#anthony boyle harry crosby#anthony boyle lt harry crosby#anthony boyle x reader
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Promised!Temmie 💛 🩵
The small but essential Temmie is present in this Au!!!
After graduating from college, she earned her graphic design degree. After that she invested her money in a store in Warterfall where she would get her official merchandise... none other than her favorite hero Tamara and her team of Revenants protecting the island. Yes... I know what everyone thinks (fangirl)
Despite almost having a nervous breakdown, Temmie obtained consent and permission from Tamara and her team to display her special merchandise since it was themed about them. Although they only did it to avoid further harassment from her since it was very uncomfortable for them that she appeared out of nowhere all over the Tree House where they lived.
Although it doesn't bother Tamara, she actually enjoys her company every time Temmie comes to see her, or she herself goes to Temmie'Shop to see how her business is going. Since during that harassment she couldn't resist opening the door and inviting her to eat cookies. something that for Temmie was a dream come true to be with her Hero. Thus creating a friendship.
(How sweet Tamara. She never denies the affection of her fans).
Curiosities:
1- She created a Tamara fan club where her members are only P | Bob and Toby (Who is P's pet! _____)
2- she has heterochromia
3- Her Cap with her flowers refers to the Cap of Tuyoki (Temmie) Chang's avatar.
4- In her store you will mainly see t-shirts, keychains, Mini action figures of Tamara and her team.
5- It is known that she is making her own fan comic based on the Adventures of Tamara since she has published things on her blog.
6- Temmie has Tamara x Dereck comics mini fanship on UnderWeb. Although she is embarrassed to read it, she enjoys it. since she sees Temmie as having a creative and somewhat peculiar mind when it comes to writing these things.
7- her fanaticism for them occurred. One day Tamara saved her life and her final university project that she did for 2 weeks without a break. In memory of that day she took a photo all nervous being carried by Tamara minutes after almost being destroyed by Eliz the fifth Revenant.
8- After becoming Tamara's number 1 fan. she celebrates the international day of determination "She invented it xd". where she herself holds a mini convention in Tamara's name. (In fact, Tamara participated in the first convention since she promised him days before where she saw a cute Temmie with a letter asking her to go)
9- After so many years she received a gift from Tamara on her 24th birthday. Nothing more nor less than the stick (from Tamara) with which she hit P! Emperor Gaster in the ribs xd the first time . something that seems simple and ordinary (But for Temmie it was the best, so much so that that day she hugged Tamara through tears and promised to take care of her with her life).
He is my favorite character of all undertale x//d
Art By: GanzDraw!
Temmie By: TobyFox and Tuyoki (Temmie) Chang.
#promisedtale#undertale au#undertale fanart#undertale fandom#temmie#promisedtemmie#undertale oc#undertale temmie
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671.
What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Not much, really. Mike was off work for most of it but otherwise it was just a pretty typical January from what I can remember.
You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? No.
How do you think you will look 3 years from now? Probably about the same, just a bit older.
Once you graduate (if you haven’t already) are you leaving your hometown? I left my hometown for university, then went back for a few years, then left again about seven years ago.
What is your dream job? I love what I do now. I'd also love to work in a zoo but I don't have the qualifications to do anything like that and I can't afford to go back and take another degree.
What would be number one on your bucket list? Travel to all the continents.
How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't really feel the need to make a will - I'm married without children so everything will go to my husband (and vice versa), which is all our will would say anyway.
You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Nobody really.
Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Sure.
Do you get any of your songs from limewire? Ha, how old is this?! I kinda miss LimeWire.
What’s the oddest thing you are wearing right now? I don't think I'm wearing anything odd - just leggings, a t-shirt and a hoody.
You and your best friend get in a fight. why do you think that is? We only ever really argue about his mess.
Do you use the word “basically” a lot? I don't think so.
Do you use proper grammar or use IM talk? Proper grammar.
What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Mike has a cold and kept me awake half the night coughing and now I'm exhausted ha.
You see the person you fell hardest for. what do you do? Well, we're married so...just what I do everyday lol.
Have/are you depressed? Yes, I have a depression diagnosis though it's been pretty well controlled for the past few years now.
Did you grow up in the united states? No. I've never even been there.
Are you dreading tomorrow? Nope, I'm looking forward to it actually.
Do you call anybody ‘baby’? I call Simba "Baby Beans" lol.
If your school had a winter formal on new years, would you go? Fuck that.
Where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? I have no idea. Buckingham Palace maybe?
Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? My husband, my parents.
Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes.
Do you know a guy that has voice cracks, but it’s cute? No.
Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? I wear them everyday. They're just part of me at this point - I don't even think about them, they're just "there".
What stereotype would people associate you with? I have no idea.
How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I mean, isn't that just something you always know?
Do you consider yourself mature? When the situation calls for it.
Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? One of each. My dad is a lark and my mum is an owl.
Do you like to sing? I do, but I'm not very good at it.
Are there some songs that you will never understand the lyrics to? I'm sure, but none are coming to mind right now.
Do you own a lot of picture frames? I think we have about five or six.
Who is your favorite author? Neil Gaiman.
How many pillows are on your bed? I use two, and Mike has a special memory foam one that's supposed to help with his snoring. Then there's two decorative ones as well.
How is your hair right now? Damp from my shower and up in a messy bun.
Is your phone fully charged? No. The battery on it has just dropped massively recently. I'm thinking of switching to an Android when my contract is up as this is the third time this has happened on iPhone.
What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? No stressing or getting up early to work.
Are you still in school? No. I haven't been in education for 12 years now.
How many days/months until your next birthday? Three weeks.
What is your favorite type of cake? Good old fashioned Victoria Sponge with fresh cream, cheesecake (not the baked kind) or coffee and walnut cake.
How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? Just two - my wedding and engagement rings.
When will you next laugh until you cry? I mean, you can't exactly plan things like that.
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Day 208 of 365
heart-to-heart talk with the graduate coordinator.
I emailed one of our collaborators to get us the equipment that the laboratory specialists need. I received a reply from him saying that we may visit the lab and get the equipment since he doesn't know what it looks like. We decided to go to the molecular biology laboratory to retrieve the equipment. Surprisingly, when we went to the surface physics laboratory, the laboratory specialist was not around. We decided to temporarily store the equipment in our lab. While heading, the window of the Earth Lab opened, and the graduate coor appeared in front of my eyes and asked me if I had seen the lab specialist. Then we saw her go out of the solid-state physics lab.
I have a self-dialogue about asking myself if it is the right time to change my research adviser. This is the dialogue that keeps echoing from time to time. I had a late realization of how pivotal the role of our research adviser should be. Especially when it comes to research writing. I have been in this laboratory for more years than I can count, and yet I am not growing professionally or academically. My current adviser has so many red flags that his only contribution to my personal growth is to not be like him. Be the person that he isn't for the best. I have well-established self-doubt and unpreparedness, thanks to him. Hearing a phrase from him and my colleague "Do not enroll when you are not ready". And of course, a question pops up in my mind: "When are we supposed to be ready?" or "Isn't it you who should train/prepare us to be ready?". This is very pivotal. My colleague is about to defend his research proposal for him to get our MSc physics degree; his job is at stake. And all I hear is him ditching us from time to time, which of course shows that he doesn't give a damn. You can't see any sense of care at all. What a perfect mentor!
All of these thoughts, contexts, and memories of him not being the adviser that we expected recoiled a lot in my career. So as the opportunity passes, the graduate coor is beside me. I have to ask courageously,
"Hello, Doc, are you not busy?".
He replied, "I am busy. Why? ".
"I want to talk to you personally."
And the perfect timing comes at the least expected time. Along the hallway, while having short power interruptions. I raised three concerns, which he addressed one at a time.
Concern 1: I'm planning to enroll for the proposal and final defense during the same term. Will the university registrar allow me to do it?
His answer: As far as I know, yes. There are cases where students do their proposal and final defense during the same term. However, just make sure that it is clear to you and your panel that you're going to do it in a very short period of time. There is a window in between where you can finish your thesis. Just make sure you are going to finish it in the time intended.
Concern 2: Am I going to be allowed to move from one lab to another? (This is an indirect way of asking if I can change my research adviser.)
His answer was: Yes. However, if there is a slight chance of fixing the problem between you and your adviser, that is the most practical thing to do. But if you are fully sure to change your research adviser, make sure as well that you will be welcomed in the intended lab. Make a clean exit with no bridge burned, and no feelings or ego hurt.
Concern 3: Will I be allowed to bring my research topic with me if I decide to move from one lab to another? If I were the adviser, I would not allow you. But it is on a case-to-case basis. If you explained, for example, that you are going to add me as a co-author to your publication, maybe I will allow you.
His answer was: No. It is unethical. Ideally, when you move from one lab to another, you are expected to start with a new topic.
This is his personal take, according to him. The time we spend in our lab will be wasted. The countless times that we decided to stay overnight. The way we treat our lab as a second home. He advised us to think carefully, and changing the research adviser should be the least of our worries—just for the sake of finishing our program.
It was indeed a fruitful pep talk. I was enlightened and offered many possibilities and options. This is the kind of adviser I wish I had.
And the bottom line of this discussion, he left me to decide on my own, as he highlighted that it is a major decision to make.
At the end of the night, I had a thought in mind to discuss with my adviser: I intend to get the graduate coordinator as a co-adviser. The proposal and final defense on the same term are critical, and I need to be supervised as much as possible. So I have decided to take note of this one, and discuss it as the time comes. Wish me luck. Next, I need to settle my finances - then go back to the original goal. Finish this son of a bitch.
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Collision - Chapter 1
Word Count: 3,434
Characters: Female Reader Uley Character, Sam Uley, Allison Uley, Charlie Swan, Bella Swan, Seth Clearwater, Billy Black, Jacob Black, Emily Young, Paul Lahote, Harry and Sue Clearwater, Leah Clearwater
Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life at it’s first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same.
*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Twilight, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. The only thing I own is Uley Reader insert, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.
Chapter: 1/?
A/N: There’s no Cullen’s in the first chapter, we’ll see them soon though. Also, Esme is in the story but her and Carlisle are not together romantically. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.
Next->
Chapter 1
Going back home felt bizarre for (Y/N). It had been 4 years since she had moved away from the La Push Reservation on a scholarship to a prep boarding school in Seattle. Although students were expected to go back home during summer break, she spent her time in summer taking college classes or attending internships in the area, so going back didn’t fit into her plans.
But she had just graduated from high school and decided that taking a gap year could not hurt. Seeing her family wouldn’t be that bad either.
(Y/N) Uley had not reunited physically with Sam and Allison Uley since she left for school, only calling occasionally but always being to busy for anything else. The mother and son duo had grown accustomed to the short phone calls and vague emails they would receive from their studious family member. The Uley siblings used to be a very close pair, being only a year apart helped their bond. But since (Y/N) had invested all her energy into her high school career, their relationship rapidly dissipated; replaced by untold secrets and life-changing details.
The Uley girl had no idea what was in store when she went back home. She had left when she was 14 and was coming back an 18-year-old with a high school diploma and a bachelor’s degree. (Y/N) had always been an over achiever and applying to the school she had and taking dual enrollment was no surprise to her mother and brother.
The bus ride from Seattle to La Push lasted almost eight hours, so (Y/N) equipped herself with two books, plenty of snacks, and a fully charged iPod to handle the ride. She had gotten the earliest ride available always enjoying the intriguing mystery that 3 am travels brought. Her brown eyes surveyed the curious characters that voyaged alongside her a young woman sat with a sleeping baby in her arms, the dark circles under her eyes signaled the baby was still a newborn getting adapted to a sleep schedule; there was a middle-aged man, his eyes attached to a computer and a briefcase tight to his side; there were two teenagers, backpacks at their feet and shared headphones in between them. They were wearing light blue polo shirt and her school insignia embroidered on the left side of their shirt. She had seen them in passing, two freshmen still energetic and excited for their school life. She looked at them and smiled, remembering being in their shoes four years ago.
Four hours in, (Y/N) had finished one book, and the bus made its first stop in Port Angeles, the place where everyone that traveled with her got off. It wasn’t surprising to see from the top of her book as everyone got off, she didn’t recognize any of them from the reservation so it would have been surprising if any of them had stayed in the bus. For the next four hours, (Y/N) continued to read her second book surrounded by a comforting silence. The sun had risen about an hour ago and a nice warmth was streaming from the bus window and (Y/N) felt herself drift in bliss.
Her eyes fluttered open once again when she felt the bus finally rolling to a stop. She blinked a few times as she adjusted her vision to the bright midday sun and her brain restarted normal functions. The brunette gathered the bag with her travel companions and got up from the chair she had been glued to for eight hours.
“Have a good day,” the driver chimed as (Y/N) was walking down the bus.
“You too, drive safe!” The girl smiled and got her two suitcases out of the side of the bus.
(Y/N) got startled as she felt two arms wrap around her midriff and quickly swung her elbow back.
“Woah, woah, careful with those arms, (Y/N). It’s just me,” the girl turned around, a gleaming grin adorning her face.
“Sam!” She jumped onto the open arms of her older brother, seeing the years that had passed on his tired face.
“Look at you, darling. All grown up,” Allison Uley smiled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
“Mom, I’ve missed you.” (Y/N) hugged her mother tightly, noticing the difference in heights of her and her mother. Another thing she noticed was the strain between her mother and her brother. Before she left, they all had a very close relationship but now it felt like so many things had interlaced into their bond. “Let’s go home yeah?”
“I’m, actually I gotta go to my house,” Sam scratched the back of his neck.
“What house?” (Y/N) chuckled.
“I moved out, but I’ll come over for your welcome dinner.”
“Sam, she just came back. Don’t you wanna spend time with your sister?” Allison begged, wanting to have both of her children under the same roof again.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t, mom. Leave it.” Sam sighed. “I’ll see you at dinner, (Y/N).”
He kissed the top of his sister’s head and left. He wanted to tell them the whole truth, but he knew he couldn’t. Knowing that information would put them in a level of danger that he didn’t want them to be aware of.
(Y/N) stared at the retreating figure of his brother as he ran down the street, leaving her and their mother.
“What’s up with him?”
“Oh darling, if only I knew.” Allison sighed grabbing one of the suitcases her daughter had brought. “Let’s just head to the house so you can rest.”
“Yeah, let’s.” (Y/N) gave Allison a comforting smile and wheeled the second suitcase towards the truck.
The drive home was as short as she remembered, and the house hadn’t changed a bit. She walked up the steps to the porch and opened the old wooden door; it still made the same creaking sound. The house still smelled of seawater and pine, an odd mix but a comforting scent. (Y/N) regretted all the summers she missed here and all the days she spent away from her family.
She made her way up the stairs and entered the first door to the right. She ran her fingers through the stickers she had pasted on there when she was 13: a wolf, a rainbow, a heart, and a picture of her family. Her name still carved at the highest point of the door and she smiled at the memory of that. She sat atop Sam’s shoulder when she was just 12 years old, a trembling hand holding a pick as she carved as best as she could the name “(Y/N)”.
The doorknob as it was turned let out a squeaky groan and the door needed an extra push to open. The room had not changed at all. The walls were still painted a light green, the light switch still had the pink princess cover, the bedding had the little purple butterflies embroidered on them, and the pillows were all pink and purple. In a corner rested the five boxes (Y/N) had sent to the house from her dorm room.
“It hasn’t changed a bit,” (Y/N) commented as she felt her mother’s presence behind her.
“I didn’t want to change it until you came back,” Allison smiled. “But I’m sure you’d like to give this place a bit of a makeover.”
“Definitely,” she laughed. “I think I’ll go to Port Angeles this weekend, doing some shopping can’t hurt.”
“That’s true.” Allison side hugged her daughter as she laughed. She headed towards the door but stopped when she was called upon by her daughter.
“Hey, mom?”
“Yes, darling?”
“By any chance, do you know where Sam’s living?” Allison’s body stiffened but shared the information with her daughter. Maybe she could figure out why he’d just disappeared.
(Y/N) was surprised to hear he was living with a girl she barely knew. She knew of Emily Young through Leah Clearwater, but not much after that. Last thing she had heard Leah and Sam had been dating. She certainly had missed some very important pivotal points in her brother’s life.
The house wasn’t far, so she decided to walk there. Upon arrival she could feel the warm and inviting aura that the quaint house emanated. The blue door called to her as she knocked on it. It finally opened and revealed her brother.
“(Y/N), what’re you doing here?”
“I’m here to see my big brother. Is that such a crime?” She laughed.
“No, of course. Come in,” he smiled begrudgingly. “I don’t have much time so we gotta make this quick.”
“Wow, feeling the love there,” she chuckled passing through the doorframe.
“There’s just some things that I have to do before dinner tonight.”
“It’s okay, I get it. I just wanted to ask if you could help me on the weekend with my room. I’m bringing it four years into the present, gotta make sure it looks like an 18-year-old sleeps there.”
“Yeah, I’ll come over Sunday afternoon and help you then. Anything else you need?”
“Well, not exactly, but it wouldn’t help to catch up. You know make up for four years of chit chat conversations and get me up to date with at the happenings in your life.”
“There’s not much to say other than I moved out and I’m engaged.” He said nonchalantly.
“Excuse me?! You’re engaged and failed to mention that to me?”
“It’s not that big of a deal, (Y/N).”
“Yes, it is, Sam! You’re getting married and this is the first I’m ever hearing of this or the fact that you moved out or the fact that you’re engaged to your ex-girlfriend’s cousin. I think it is a big deal.”
“Okay, yeah. Kind of a long story on that one.”
“Enough time to tell it to me?” Sam hesitated. He could hear Emily’s truck approaching and two male voices coming back from patrol. He needed to get (Y/N) out of the house before they got here.
“Maybe another time. I’ll call you on Sunday, yeah?” Sam asked as he nudged his sister out of his house.
“I guess.” (Y/N) mumbled as she was pushed out the front door. “Bye.”
“See ya.” Sam kissed the side of her head and closed the door.
(Y/N) left the house with more questions about her brother that she had begun with but didn’t want to press on. There was no use if he wasn’t going to talk, so she walked back home.
Her mother had gone out, possibly grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner, giving (Y/N) time to catch up on some much-needed sleep. She walked up the stairs and into her room, plopping down on the bed not caring how she landed. All she wanted was to close her eyes and rest.
By six in the afternoon her eyes fluttered open once again. She could smell the dinner her mother had been cooking. The room had darkened as the sun was going down and thankfully her mother had turned on a lamp for (Y/N) to have some vision. The girl got up from bed and grabbed some clothes from her suitcase to take a quick shower before dinner. She stripped all her clothes off and let the water wash away all the hours of the day. As soon as the water started turning cold, she shut it off and got out.
For a second, (Y/N) stopped and stared at herself in the mirror above the sink. She barely recognized the girl staring back. The bags under her eyes were deeper than the last time she had seen herself in this specific mirror, her cheekbones were more defined than before, her skin paler than usual since she hadn’t really seen the sun in a while.
It didn’t take her long to change into some new clothes and head downstairs, where she saw her mother on the phone. Disappointment evident in her eyes.
“Sam, it’s your sister… please… ok, fine. Just don’t flake on her on Sunday,” Allison sighed, turning off her phone and slamming it on the counter.
“Everything okay, mom?”
“Oh, yeah, darling. Your brother won’t be able to join us, but Billy and Jacob, and the Clearwaters are on their way, and I also invited Charlie and Bella Swan. I hope you don’t mind that they join in.”
“No, I don’t mind. What about Paul?”
“You know I’ve never liked that boy, honey.” (Y/N) stared at her mother. Refusing to continue the conversation until Allison answered the question. “I did invite him, but he couldn’t come.”
“I love seeing you make an effort,” (Y/N) laughed and kissed her mother on the cheek. “I’ll set the table.”
“Thank you, darling.”
(Y/N) grabbed the 10 plates needed for the night and the respective cutlery. She still remembered how her mother liked the table arranged and set it as such. She set the vase filled with fresh flowers in the middle of the table, leaving space on the sides for the dinner platters. The arrival of the guests was soon after. (Y/N) had grown alongside Jacob and Leah, and on the summers, she would spend her times with the Swan girl. Once Seth was born, he became very close with the Uley girl.
“My oh my, (Y/N), how you’ve grown.” Billy Black grabbed Uley’s hand and smiled up at her, with the warmness that summer brought.
“Indeed, I have, and you haven’t aged a day in four years. What’s your secret?”
“It’s in the genes,” he laughed alongside the young girl. She’d always been a charmer, he thought “You remember my boy, Jacob, right?”
“How could I ever forget? Hey, Jake!”
“How you’ve been, (Y/N)?” Jacob approached his friend and wrapped her in a hug. “Been an awful long time.”
“Four years, that’s not much,” she smiled. “Come in.”
The father and son duo entered the house, and next came the Clearwaters. Harry, Sue, and Seth. No Leah. They had always been close to the Uleys, a bit of divide coming after the rupture between the eldest offspring of each family.
“Oh, wow, where has the time gone?” Sue commented, greeting the girl with a tight hug.
“4 years really do go by quick, don’t they?”
“They sure do, Harry.” (Y/N) smiled, motioning the couple in.
Finally, Seth walked in and engulfed (Y/N) in a tight hug. The girl was 5 years his elder, but he considered her one of his best friends. Seth and Paul were the only two people (Y/N) kept in close contact other than her family. For some time, Paul and (Y/N) had drifted apart but Seth always sent his monthly excited letters, updating her on what he had been up to.
“I missed you, (Y/N)!” Little Seth spoke into a bundle of brunette hair.
“I missed you too, Seth.” She smiled as he walked past her, joining his parents.
The last to enter were Sheriff Swan and Bella. The cop smiled at the girl and gave her a quick hug, commenting on how much she had grown, a low chuckle leaving his throat. Bella entered with hunched shoulders, possibly not wanting to be there but she still smiled at her old friend. Vague memories filled the girls’ heads of summer play dates and days at the beach.
“It’s been quite some time, huh?” Bella muttered.
“It sure has. It’s great to see you again,” (Y/N) smiled. “How have you liked Forks now that you’re back full time. Still hating cold weather?”
“Yeah,” the pale girl chuckled. “But it has its better days.”
The girls joined in a quick giggled before joining the rest of the group at the dinner table. Allison had already set the table and had said her hellos to the group.
The three males had engaged in sports conversations and the teens were all huddled in the kitchen munching on cheese and crackers and engaging in small chit chat.
“So, (Y/N), 18 and already a degree, how does that feel?” Jacob asked, stuffing his mouth with cheese and ham.
“Well, as good as it can be. Don’t know exactly what I’m gonna do now. All I know is that I’m taking a year off and taking a breather for the first time.” (Y/N) chuckled.
“I just can’t believe you’d spend all this time going to school, twice as much. I don’t like school at all,” Seth chimed in, picking apart the cheese and filling his mouth.
“So, you spent these past four years studying, including your summers?” Bella added.
“That’s correct,” (Y/N) smiled. “And now I have a degree and nothing to do with it.”
The group chuckled and moved towards the adults as they were being called to dinner. In the center of the table was a big platter of spaghetti and meatballs, (Y/N)’s favorite food, a tray of toasted garlic bread, and a bowl of a colorful mix of spring salad.
(Y/N) always enjoyed her mother’s cooking. Even on her saddest days, Allison’s cooking could warm her heart at any time. She and her mother had a very close relationship, even after four years of distance. Since her father left early in her life, her mother had always tried her hardest to make sure both her children were loved and cared for. And she stayed wondering where she had gone wrong with Sam and hoping (Y/N) didn’t stray away as her eldest had.
The dinner group had all taken their seats at the dinner table and were passing around the various platters, serving themselves their desired portions. Jacob and Seth were overfilling their plates, receiving a laugh from their respective parents. Charlie, Harry, and Billy were filling their plates with more protein than carbohydrates and the moms at the table smiled at the males engulfing the meatballs. (Y/N) looked around the table and smiled. It had been a long time since she had sat down with the important people in her life and was relaxed, even if two of them were missing.
After everyone was served, everything went almost quiet. Some background music could be heard from the living room and the sound of forks hitting plates and mouths chewing filled the environment. Everyone was comfortable with the silence, but there was still one question in everyone’s mind.
“Where’s Sam?” Seth spoke up, voicing everyone’s question. The whole table paused in action and Seth felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Sue softly elbowed her son. “What?”
“It’s okay, Sue,” (Y/N) smiled. “He couldn’t be here, bud.”
“Maybe he was feeling bad, like Leah.” He added earning a burning stare from both his parents.
“Maybe, Seth.”
“I just wanna apologize for our daughter missing this dinner. I know she really wanted to see you, (Y/N).”
“Oh, Harry, it’s really no problem. I’m sure I’ll catch up with her soon enough.” (Y/N) smiled trying to ease the tension felt in the room. She could see her mother gripping her fork tightly as she kept her head down. “But I would also like to apologize on behalf of Sam, I know he wanted to be here.”
Everyone simply nodded and went back to their plates. The rest of the evening was enjoyable. No one mentioned the pair that was missing, and (Y/N)’s past four years were questioned in depth. She had an answer for everything except “What are you gonna do now?”
She didn’t know and that’s what she answered. She mentioned she wanted to study medicine, having finished a degree in biology and always loved taking care of other people. Sue was excited, being a nurse herself. But (Y/N) had landed at a standstill in terms of her life and career. A vast portion of her life had been defined as a student and now that this part was over, she didn’t know who she was.
The dinner festivities were over soon thereafter, leaving Allison and (Y/N) to clean up after the group. The Uley pair put everything away in silence, exhausted from the eventful day. (Y/N) could see as her mother wiped away a few stray tears, sniffling behind her hair. The girl knew better than to bring the topic back up and left her mother with a kiss on the temple and a good night.
Upstairs, (Y/N) prepared herself for bed. The event had drained nay energy still left in her and she plopped down on the bed with a small thud. She had prepared her clothes for the next day, knowing her energy would also be drained but still excited to have this change. Her eyes fluttered close as she heard in the distance her mother’s quiet footsteps on the staircase, darkness overtaking her.
Next->
A/N: if you wish to be tagged for the next parts, please let me know. I’d be happy to. <3
#twilight#twilight imagine#carlisle cullen imagine#carlisle cullen angst#carlisle cullen smut#sam uley#jacob black#bella swan#edward cullen#jasper hale#rosalie hale#esme cullen#emmett cullen#fanfiction#writing#andreafmn#collision#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#quil ateara#jared cameron#embry call#alice cullen#charlie swan#billy black#angst#slowburn
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Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 here!
A/N: I already know some of y’all are going to be mad, it’s 2020 and twilight needs some diversity, don’t @ me.
* You’re not really sure how you got here
* “This ones done”
* Edward holds out the blood bag to you, carefully pulling out the needles from you beloved Deer, Hayden.
* “Ah, thank you.” You place it carefully along with the others, before lavishing Hayden with affection
* “You were so good today! You’re going to get extra carrots, yes you are!”
* You’re aware of Edwards gaze on you as he disinfects the injection point.
* “You know it’s illegal to have Deer as pets in Alaska don’t you?” The corner of his mouth is quirked in the smallest smirk you have ever seen, and you roll your eyes
* “Tanya got a permit, the official stance is they’re her deer, I just take care of them for some extra pocket money”
* Not that anyone would venture into the “siren house” to ask questions
* You knew people were probably wary of coming up to the estate, even the mail man looked dead scared when he left Irina’s Lululemon packages in the mailbox
* But you didn’t think the locals legit called the manse “The Siren House”
* Edward told you they used to call it “The Witch House” but then, upon seeing the Denali sisters, changed it to Siren
* Edward doesn’t say anything, just moves to take the filled blood bags up to the house
* Ever the gentleman
* You really thought Edward would show up once, figure out he couldn’t read your mind, and retreat into his own moody silence.
* You figured you would mostly be dealing with Carlisle, who would teach you how to draw blood from your heard of deers, and then you would be on your own.
* But instead it was Edward who volunteered to do it for you, Carlisle was busy with his day job after all.
* He shows up once a week, usually after school, and carefully extracts the blood
* Then he puts them inside the fridge and leaves
* You really don’t get what’s going on, if he hates you so much why even bother coming over in the first place
* You’re about to fall into your usual rhythm of handing him the blood bags, which he then puts in the fridge when he breaks your routine
* “Why-“ your head pops up from the small pile of blood bags and to him. He’s looking away, but then his gaze meets yours. “Why go through all this trouble for a few deer.”
* You grin and hand him a blood bag
* “Another vampire might say the same thing to you, why go through all the trouble for a few humans?”
* He flinches, and you laugh. He’s so unaware of himself it’s actually funny
* “For the record, I do it because they remind me of my (Dog/Cat/Pet).” He quirks an eyebrow at that.
* “Your pet?”
* You nod. You’re number one concern on arrival here had been whether your dog was okay, but sifting through your memories of this life, you realized your dog had passed away in the middle of high school.
* “When I look into their face, all I can think about is my dog” you shrug, it’s the same with bears and other animals too.
* “Also, it’s kinda disgusting to drink that blood straight out of the animal.”
* Draining the blood must have deducted something from the taste, you can’t imagine what that skunky revolting flavor would have been like if you were drinking straight from the animal.
* Edward laughs. It’s the first time he’s laughed around you, pearly white canines in full view, the skin at the corner of his eyes folds
* It’s cute, very boyish. You get what Bella was talking about now
* “You get used to it after a while” he shrugs
* You shake your head, no one should ever have to drink that crap
* “Here, try some of my blood” you say it like you’re offering him some cookies you made. You pick up one of the bags, still warm, and he quirks an eyebrow
* This isn’t the first time you’ve offered, usually he declines and rushes to leave
* One time it looked like he might say yes, but then he noticed Tanya and excused himself.
* He accepts the bag, holding it up with one hand
* “Do you pour it in a mug?”
* And so you and Edward sip your blood-Capri-suns in the kitchen that’s only now started to be used
* You sit in the counter cross legged, while he leans against the adjacent counter. Both of you silently sipping your meals.
* “This is really good” he finally says, his blood bag almost empty.
* “Who’d you have? I’ve been trying to add different veggies to their meal to see if it brings out a different flavour profile.”
* He had Henrietta, who you had been giving more citrus too. Partially for flavour, and partially because she’s your favourite
* “It kind of tastes like...fruit punch” Edward recalls after a prolonged minute.
* He seems so nostalgic, you wonder how long it’s been since he’s had human food
* “I think genetics have something to do with the flavour too, the breed from this region all seem to have a fruity aftertaste”
* “I’m partial to deer since they don’t have a strong game taste aftertaste.”
* “Yes! That part is the worst, it’s like eating a skunk” You scowl and he laughs again.
* You know he doesn’t belong to you, he’s Bella’s, in a few years she’ll be all he thinks or cares about.
* But maybe the two of you can be friends until then.
* All at once the moments broken, Edward stands a bit straighter, the smile on his face gone.
* You turn to look behind you to see Carmen.
* Her head is tilted to the side, a smile tugging on her lips
* “You both look like you’re having fun.”
* After that the conversation is pleasant, but it definitely stutters until Edward eventually leaves.
* “I think he likes you” You’re reading a book by the fire, the gentle heat is nice and it sets the mood.
* “What?”
* Carmen’s grinning
* “The Cullen boy is interested in you.”
* You just shake your head. You doubt it, Edwards only got a one track mind for one person. And it’s not you
* “It would be nice if we could be friends though, I don’t really know many other people my physical age.”
* Carmen stops mid-stitch on her embroidery hoop
* “Is that something you want? Because the Cullen’s have other’s your a-“
* “I don’t need you to set up play dates for me Carmen”
* “Understood”
* Edward comes by regularly, to help you with your animals. You’re both always under the (discrete) supervision of one of your guardians (excluding Tanya of course.)
* And with each visit you learn a little more about him
* You find out that right now he’s masquerading as a senior in high school, he’s considering going to college for veterinary sciences
* “Why veterinary sciences?” You wonder if he’s about to poach your best deer and start his own blood business when he shrugs
* “It’s one of the few degrees I don’t have”
* You’re drinking blood-Capri-suns out on the porch, he’s still in his school clothes, including a very puffy jacket
* “What were you going to do?” Your raise an eyebrow and he elaborates “before you turned, what were you plans for the future.”
* “I was on my graduation trip, I was going to college in the fall”
* You got accepted into your safety school with a generous scholarship.
* Edward doesn’t press any further. But you can tell that he wants too.
* Many nights go by, you experiment with you animals diets, have supervised hang-outs with Edward, you meet Carlisle every so often who basically gives you therapy and helps you control your emotions
* Life is good
* But your growing complacency with the situation is starting to bother you
* You haven’t forgotten about Alec and Jane who are still fighting so hard to survive, or the countless others who would prefer this way of life if they only knew
* You know the minute you start being content is the minute the world wins
* So every night -or really every so often, you’ve lost all perception of time, the nights in Alaska are totally fucked and these heathens don’t even have a damn clock. Your only really sign of time is the mail man dropping off amazon packages- you sit and dream
* You think about giving back to the community, about saving your friends, and about dethroning fucking Aro
* You’re only at the beginning now, there’s still so much work to do, but it’s a start
* You hear a noise and your eyes open
* If you had a beating heart it would stutter when it saw Edward standing beside your bed, your hand moves on it’s own through reflex, clutching your heart
* Under the circumstances you would expect someone else to laugh, but Edward just looks confused
* “Are you...sleeping?”
* “I like to pretend, it’s a nice way to end the day” he raises an eyebrow at that
* “It’s 4 in the afternoon”
* “Well damn Edward, we don’t have any clocks in this house, how am I supposed to know what time it is.”
* He does laugh at that
* “Is it...nice?”
* “Yeah, it’s pretty relaxing, kills some time too.” Noticing the curious look on his face, you ask:
* “Do you want to try?” You pat the space on the bed beside you.
* You’re fully expecting for Edward with his old fashioned virtues to deny your suggestion. So you’re surprised that after several long seconds of silence, and a rather pained look, he adheres to your request and lies next to you on your bed.
* It’s a king size bed, so he’s at least three Great Danes away from you, but the closeness still surprises you.
* “What do I do now?” He says, eyes closed.
* “Daydream, or fantasise I guess, about things that happened in your day, or things you wish happened, places you want to go and memories you wish you could relive”
* “What do you usually dream about?” He asks, eyes open now
* “I think about Jane,” the answer is automatic, and you regret it as soon as the words come out. But Edward’s expression doesn’t change so you continue. “I think about my deers and my family too.” Most of the time you’re just thinking about what animal you want to excitement with next tbh
* “And sometimes I think about you.”
* And how glad you are to have a friend
* Edward doesn’t say anything for a long time, and for a second you hope he hasn’t misunderstood your words, you know he’ll never feel that way about you. All of those romantic feelings are saved for Bella
* “Would you like to come to my house sometime?” The questions throws you off, and your expression illicit’s a laugh from him. “Emmett and Esme are dying to meet the newborn from the Denali coven”
* That’s probably true for Esme, you’re pretty sure Emmett just wants to have some physical match with the “Volturi-reject”
* “That sounds fun, sure.”
* Maybe they have a clock in their house you can steal
* Edward shows up the next day in his shiny white Volvo to pick you up.
* On either side of you on the front porch are Carmen and Kate with their most fierce expressions (and behind them is Eleazer who just looks like he’s along for the ride)
* “Where are you going?” Kate asks
* “Our home on the other side of the mountain, you’ve been there before” Edwards got a small smile curling in his lips, and an eyebrow raised.
* “What will you do?” Carmen asks
* “My family’s having a board game night, I think we’re playing monopoly”
* “What time will you bring them home?” Kate intervenes, man they’re not even pretending to be polite
* “Well it’s not a school night-“ Seeing his joke isn’t going to land, he rethinks his words midway
* “Whenever they tell me to.”
* You’re half expecting to get a curfew, even though this household seems to operate without the concept of time, when Eleazer interjects
* “Well be safe, and have a good time.” He slides a backpack up your shoulders. “I packed you some blood bags in case you get hungry, Henrietta’s since I know that’s your favourite.”
* He’s the only one waving as you get into Edward’s car
* The view as you drive is breath taking, the snow covered mountains, abs crisp green trees
* Edward laughs beside you, at your awestruck expression no doubt
* “You don’t get out much do you?”
* You have your nose practically pressed to the glass
* “Not at all.”
* The Cullen’s home is reminiscent of the one from the movies. All light, with glass everywhere. It’s like a aurora, all wavy with no true shape
* “Welcome to our home (Y/N)” Carlisle greats you first, and behind him is... Esme
* She’s not at all like the books or the movie
* She’s definitely not white, you can’t tell exactly what race, but she’s definitely a POC.
* Her caramel cheekbones seem even more prominent when she offers you a smile.
* “It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m Esme.”
* For some reason her being a POC, makes you feel more comfortable around her.
* Maybe you will ask her to draw up those plans for a proper barn.
* Edward stifles a laugh behind you, and you raise an eyebrow.
* “Emmett is dying to meet you upstairs.”
* You follow Edward up the stairs, finally meeting the family that spawned four books and a movie franchise.
* None of them look like they’re actor counterparts
* For one Emmett is black. And also really handsome, he’s got this Chadwick Boseman look alike thing going on and you’re down for it (RIP)
* Rosalie looks basically the way she was described in the books, all blonde hair and angel faced, but she’s the only one
* Alice is definitely Asian, she kinda looks like Lana Condor
* Jasper.... is ambiguously brown, but it still makes you let out a sigh of relief when you remember he was a Major in the CONFEDERATE army.
* More to the story than someone who was blatantly racist and supported slavery.
* They’re all beautiful, and they terrify you. You’re not exactly sure why, but something primal in you tells you to run away as fast as you can.
* But Edward lightly brushed the small of your back, pushing you forward. Right into the lions den.
* “Hello, I’m Rosalie”
* Looks like they picked her to be their spokesperson, all glittering smiles and flawless cheekbones. She extends her hand, and you lightly grasp it.
* “It’s nice to meet you.”
* It’s surreal to think how you know almost everything about this girl, while you two are virtually strangers
* Jasper introduces himself next, all smiles and quiet gentlemanly behavior.
* You’re not really sure what to expect with Alice, from what you know this girl has seen every future you could possibly have.
* Who knows what she saw
* But when she stands she hugs you
* “It’s good to see you!”
* “Alice, you haven’t introduced yourself”
* “Oh, right. I’m Alice”
* Emmett claps you on the back like you’re an old friend.
* “So, I heard you used to hang out with the sadist twins in the Volturi”
* You can practically feel the tension in the air, even Edward winces
* “They’re not so bad” really, what did anyone expect when they were in that environment
* Emmett grins
* “That’s bad ass”
* The rest of the night passes in a blur. The cullen’s game of monopoly includes some monstrous version where they put 8 different themed boards together and play in teams (You’re obviously on Edward and Alice’s team)
* They also have some sort of structure where they put four hotels together and called it a mega-hotel
* The whole thing blows up when Emmett accused Alice and Edward of using their powers to cheat
* “What do you want me to do, I can’t turn it off when I want Emmett, trust me I would especially when you and-“
* “Oh shut up Emmett, like we haven’t noticed Rosalie has an awful lot of $500 bills” Jasper interjects
* “It’s because you always pay me rent in small change!” She screams
* “Now-“ Carlisle tried to interject but Alice stands up
* “That’s a lie! I saw you steal from the bank several times when Esme wasn’t looking” Alice screams
* It goes on like this until Carlisle Declares the game over, and shoos everyone away.
* “Sorry, I would say it’s usually not like this, but I would be lying” Edward grins and you shrug
* “It was pretty fun and... entertaining in its own way” Edward beams at you, and once again, you definitely feel the dazzling effect Bella described in the movies
* “Should I... take you home now?” You can tell he doesn’t want to take you back yet, and if you’re being honest you don’t want to go back either
* The Cullen’s house has so much light, and you can see the stars so clearly here
* And if you’re being honest things seem to be way more entertaining here
* Edward takes you to a nook which houses a grand piano
* You’re fingers instinctively roam over the keys.
* “Do you play?”
* “Just a bit”
* You’re not the one who knew how to play, not really. But now this body is yours. You’ve thought about asking Carmen for a Piano, you’re sure they would love something that adds to the gothic feel of the mansion, but always cast it aside.
* You’re busy enough with your research.
* “Play me something” Edward grins.
* Alec had said the same thing to you when you were first taken by the Volturi, at the time your mind had raced wondering which piece would impress him the most. Which would aide in your survival.
* But looking at Edward now, you know that it’s not the same situation.
* He really does want you to play whatever your heart desires
* So you play “Love like you”, accompanied by your quiet voice reciting the lyrics
* At some point Edward sits beside you, playing in a deeper key, adding another layer of depth to your performance
* Wordlessly, afterwards he plays a piece of his own, Claire de Lune. Which you know is a remarkably hard piece.
* Still halfway you chime in, your super human fingers keeping up with him with ease
* And so it goes on like this, you play a modern song, waiting for him to catch up and he does the same with a classic
* Like a never ending game of cat and mouse
* It stops abruptly when Edward is in the middle of “moonlight sonata” when Alice clears her throat from behind you.
* “I hate to disturb,” there’s a teasing grin arched on her face. “But if you don’t drop them off, Carmen and Tanya are going to come over personally to retrieve them-“
* You see Edward wince, no doubt reviving Alice’s vision through his ability
* “And I don’t think anyone wants that.”
* You nod, moving to grab your backpack when you overhear Alice say-
* “You never let me play like that with you”
* Edward let’s out some sort of noise akin to a scoff
* “Where did you learn those songs?” He asks when you’re on the road
* Well you can’t tell him they’re from artists who aren’t known yet
* “Personal compositions” you murmur, and Edward grins his dazzling grin
* You talk about nothing but music until you pull into the familiar circle driveway of the manse
* Right when you’re about to thank him for a fun time, he gently stops you with a fleeting touch to your shoulder.
* “I’m graduating next month,” he hands you an envelope which you assume has his graduation card. “I was wondering if you would like to come to the ceremony.”
* You hold the card with both hands stunned, he’s already graduating high school?
* That means only 4 more years until he moves to Forks, and another two until he meets Bella
* And you realize that while time is frozen for both of you until the end of the universe, you’re the only one who isn’t moving forward
* “Yeah, I’d love that!”
* You try your best to smile, but your sure it comes off looking strange
* You don’t talk to anyone, heading straight for your bedroom
* What’s next for you?
#twilight#twilight reader insert#twilight headcanon#twilight imagine#edward cullen x reader#edward cullen#Rosalie hale#Jasper hale#alice cullen#carlisle cullen#twilight saga#twilight imagines#superhero—imagines
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LIFELINES AND LEGACIES - A D&D inspired TS4 Legacy Challenge
By me, @urnooboo!
Even though I’m not active, I wanted to start another legacy challenge, but I didn’t want to do a normal one. Since my friends and I play D&D and love it, why not take inspiration from there? And so here is the culmination of that little brainstorm! It’s my first time making a challenge like this, so hopefully it won’t be that bad. :D It’s a legacy challenge based on the Dungeons and Dragons classes!
If you want to try this challenge out, please use the tags #L&L challenge or #ts4 L&L ! I’d really appreciate it if anyone tries this out just for fun!
Bit of a warning, this challenge gets a bit chaotic in the middle because...honestly, I dunno,,,,
Rules and requirements under the cut!!
Pack Requirements: All the EPs and GPs except for Star Wars (ew), but you can always skip some requirements if you don’t have the packs for them
You can choose to do this on normal lifespan, but playing on long is allowed too.
So, how do you want to do this?
GENERATION 1: Fighter
You don’t have much right now, but you’re determined to build yourself from the ground up and start a family. You have a strong will to fight when needed and you’re quite athletic. You don’t have to be completely alone at the start of this journey, however, and a long time best friend of yours can be part of your party.
RULES:
Must have Active trait
Fight/”Friendly Spar” with at least 3 different sims and 1 occult sim
Complete Successful Lineage aspiration
Starting funds must be less than 20,000 simoleons after buying a house
Get a job in either the Fitness career or the Military career
OPTIONAL: Can have another sim in the household when starting out, and must be friends with them. They can be your family, childhood friend,existing lover, or just some random roommate. (Also yes, you’re allowed to romance them. Unless if they’re your family, yikes)
GENERATION 2: Druid
Your family may not have had the best financial state starting out, but you don’t let things like money phase you. You’ve always loved nature and going out, and dreamed of wanting to do more for the environment as an adult. You like to take things a bit slowly, and love to lounge around.
RULES:
Must have Vegetarian, Lazy, and Loves Outdoors traits
Lot must be off-the-grid
Have a green eco footprint
Marry in adulthood instead of young adulthood
Meet and become friends with the hermit in Granite Falls
Max out the Gardening skill and grow your own food
Optional: You must only have one lover and you must woo them with bees
GENERATION 3: Artificer
You’re dissatisfied at how your family lounges around most of the time, and you’re quite the workaholic compared to them. Your career is your life, and you happen to be both ambitious and gifted. Though you love your child but you have absolutely no idea how to be a parent. So you might end up being a bit of a helicopter parent…
RULES:
Must have Ambitious and Genius traits
Graduate college on a scholarship
Get a job in the Scientist career
Have at least level 6 Robotics skill
Have only one child, born from a one night stand/fling
Never get married
Only do strict parenting interactions with your child
OPTIONAL: Complete the element collection
GENERATION 4: Wizard
You grew up in a house with high expectations, and always wanted to please your family. You worked hard in your studies and in the end- it paid off. But at the cost of you not having much of a social life. However, that really isn’t your priority. Instead, you chose to start learning the magic arts, enthralled by its mystic ways. You were always good at school, so why not start getting good at magic now? As long as you put your mind to it, it shouldn’t be that hard...right?
RULES:
Must have Perfectionist and Loner traits
Have less than 5 friends
Must finish Whiz Kid child aspiration
Become an “A” student in both grade school and high school
Must have “Responsible” trait when you reach Young Adulthood (via high responsibility value)
Graduate college with a distinguished degree
Become a spellcaster
OPTIONAL: Take the teaching or doctor career
GENERATION 5: Sorcerer
You were born with a magical bloodline, and you love to show it off. You want the whole world to see that you’re a cool prodigal spellcaster. You’re the complete opposite of your parent; loud, outgoing, quick to make friends. You’ve even developed a knack for acting in order to impress people, and you dream of becoming a famous star in order to show those who wronged you before that you’re the best thing on earth.
RULES:
Must have Self-Absorbed and Erratic trait
Must have weak bloodline trait from parent and become a spellcaster
Reach the Adept, Master, or Virtuoso rank
Become at least a B-Lister
Get to level 7 of the Actor career
Have some sort of rival
Must have “Good Manners” trait when reaching Young Adulthood (via high manners value)
Must have good reputation
Optional: Be the leader of a popular club and have the Insider trait
GENERATION 6: Bard
You’ve got it all. Rich and famous family, a magical bloodline, musical skill, lots of friends...but something inside you just feels...missing. Thanks to this, you started going around looking for lovers, carelessly tossing aside those who happened to not meet your indecisive standards. It would probably take you years before you calm down and settle with someone you truly care about, but all the heartbreak you’ve caused before that is quite impressive, to say the least.
RULES:
Must have Romantic, Music Lover and Non-Committal traits
This sim has to be the hottest generation. Go all out yo!!!!
Must have strong bloodline trait but cannot be a spellcaster
Complete the Serial Romantic Aspiration
Work in the Entertainer career as a musician
Have as many affairs as you want and have illegitimate kids BUT…
Your heir must be the result of an affair with an occult sim that isn’t a spellcaster. See rules for next generation below
OPTIONAL: Only get married in late adulthood or elder life stage. You can’t have kids with this person.
GENERATION 7: Warlock
You never really had a close relationship with your “famous” parent, and spent more time with your occult family, making you pretty close with each other. Your half siblings don’t like you because you inherited a part of your famous parent’s fortune, despite being...you know...a paranormal freak? To get around this, you developed quite a skillful tongue, and you know your way around words. Now you’re looking for someone to get some more money from...
RULES:
Must have bloodline trait AND be part of an occult race that isn't a spellcaster. Like, you could be a mermaid, vampire, or alien with the bloodline trait, or even a half alien or half vampire.
Have a high relationship with your occult parent
Reach level 10 charisma skill and get yourself a sugar daddy/mommy. :D
Now, your path for this generation will differ depending on whether your parent is an alien, vampire, or mermaid, and is based on some of the D&D warlock patrons. However, this divergence is completely optional. and you can just focus on finding a sugar daddy/mommy only
ALIEN PARENT (Great Old One patron) You can be either a full alien or half alien for this one.
Get a job in the Astronaut career and visit Sixam
Max out your Logic skill
If you’re a full alien, memory wipe at least one person who you had a high relationship with if they find out you’re an alien.
Must have Insensitive trait when you reach Young Adulthood (comes from having low empathy)
VAMPIRE PARENT (Undying patron) You can be either a full vampire or half-vampire for this one.
Max out your vampire lore skill
Own a cowplant for as long as possible
If full vampire, turn at least one person into a vampire
Become friends with the Grim Reaper, by any means necessary :)
MERMAID PARENT (Kraken/Lurker in the Deep patron) (UA) You can only be a full mermaid for this one.
Max out your fishing skill
Try to have one child with Sulani Mana trait
Collect 5 rare fishes
Die from polar bear plunge (jumping into a pool outside when it’s freezing cold)
GENERATION 8: Cleric
The generation before was…chaotic, to say the least. You may have occult blood in you but you’re gonna try to set things straight for future generations. How are you gonna do that? BY GETTING RICH, OF COURSE! SPREAD THE WORD OF CAPITALISM AROUND BY STARTING YOUR OWN RETAIL STORE! Or a restaurant, that works too. The most prominent thing that you’ve inherited from your parents is your love of money, and you’re constantly coming up with schemes to get more. Gods may not exist in The Sims, but you might as well worship something that’s powerful. And money is power.
RULES:
Must have Materialistic trait
Have a job in the Business career, Politics career, or Civil Designer career (Civic Planner) and bop bop bop, bop to the top
Own at least one retail store/restaurant with a rating of at least three stars
Complete the Fabulously Wealthy Aspiration
Eventually move to a penthouse OR one of the big apartments in the business district in San Myshuno
Have only one child
Fall in love with someone from work, then divorce them after having a fight
GENERATION 9: Paladin
Despite the unique circumstances that happened before your birth, you grew up...pretty normal. There’s not much to say about you since your magical bloodline and occult genes are probably dwindling from here, and sooner or later your family legacy will go back to being humans. You’ve always wanted to protect this world and be the one to bring justice to it, so you take up a job in the police force. You and your lover unfortunately had a kid, and even though your lover may have wanted it deep down you actually hate kids. You’ve heard about strange events going on in a town called Strangerville, and you’ve been itching to investigate…
RULES:
Must be close with Generation 8 sim
Must have Hates Children trait
Have a job in the Police career
Complete the Strangerville Aspiration and become the Hero of Strangerville
Have the “Mediator” trait when reaching Young Adulthood (from high conflict resolution)
Stay in the penthouse/apartment your parent got
OPTIONAL: Complete the “Rambunctious Scamp” child aspiration and get “Physically Gifted” trait
GENERATION 10: Rogue
Ironically, despite your upbringing, you ended up becoming a deviant that has constant run-ins with the law. Your relationship with your family isn’t great, but you’re determined to make a name for yourself as a slippery troublemaker. Your true dream however, is to find your one true lover, since you’re a secret hopeless romantic. Your flirting skills are laughable though, and you tense up whenever you have to do something romantic. How are you gonna find love like this?
RULES:
Have bad relationship with Generation 9 sim
Must have Kleptomaniac, Gloomy, and Unflirty traits
Reach the top of the criminal career
Complete both the Soulmate aspiration
Whenever you visit another sim’s lot, steal something from their house
Have up to two exes before finally settling on the one you wanna marry
Get friendzoned at least once
Move out of your parents’ penthouse/apartment and into a small 20x15 lot
OPTIONAL: Have negative reputation
OPTIONAL: Be BFFs with your other parent
You can end the challenge here, but there are still some more D&D classes left to do, so here they are, the optional generations!
GENERATION 11: Barbarian
You take after your parent a lot, and you’re skilled in making people absolutely hate you. Your emotions are just as stable as Philippine wifi, and you have this terrible habit of getting into fights a lot. But just because people don’t like you doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun. In fact, you’re quite infamous for going out to parties and starting bar fights.
RULES:
Must have Hot-headed and Mean traits
Must have “Uncontrolled Emotions” trait when aging up into Young Adulthood (from low emotional control)
Fight as many people as possible, make lots of enemies
Throw a lot of parties and go to lots of bar nights and events
Complete Public Enemy aspiration
OPTIONAL: Die from cardiac arrest
GENERATION 12: Monk
For someone with a public nuisance for a parent, you’re pretty chill. You love to make stuff, and your way of life is quite tranquil, to say the least. You’re handy and artistic, and love to do things yourself, even if it does give off the impression that you’re super cheap. You’ve always got a gift for someone during christmas, and your inventory is full of stuff that you’ve made, or components to make stuff with. The world is cool with you, and you’re cool with the world. You’re not the type of person who could hold down a regular job though...
RULES:
Max out the Wellness skill
Must have Maker trait
Be at least level 4 in the all following skills: Handiness, Fabrication, Painting, Writing, Flower Arranging, and any instrument skill. (Also Knitting, if you have it)
Always change jobs when you reach level 4 in them, and your only truly stable source of income is from selling the stuff you’ve made
Live on an off-the-grid lot, preferably somewhere near the water or near a forest
Have twins for kids and only those twins (you can cheat to get this ahhaha)
Elope only, cause weddings aint your style
Explore Selvadorada with your family at least once
GENERATION 13: Ranger
After you and your family went on a vacation to Selvadorada, you decided that you’d travel the world, no matter what! Your twin sibling was originally gonna help you complete this dream, but unfortunately they died due to mysterious circumstances. While you mourned away your sorrows, you came across a stray animal that reminded you of your late sibling and decided to take it in. Once you got yourself together out of your slump, you decided to pack your bags and start travelling around the world for realsies.
RULES:
Be BFFs with your twin
Twin sibling must die during their teenage/early young adult years
Adopt at least one pet after that (yeah, you can have more)
Complete Friend of the Animals aspiration
Visit all the vacation worlds at least once in your lifetime
Discover all the secret lots except Sixam
Visit at least one lot in each normal world with your pet
Move household at least once
Don’t have children
And that’s it! I hope you guys enjoy this challenge!! I’ll try to play this too, though I might be even more inactive since school is finally starting hnnng you guys are free to tweak some requirements to better suit your gameplay so just have fun and enjoy!!!
#ts4 L&L#L&L challenge#ts4 legacy challenge#sims 4 legacy challenge#the sims 4 legacy challenge#legacy challenge#ts4 challenge#sims 4 challenge#ts4 legacy#sims 4 legacy#s4 legacy#s4 legacy challenge#legacy gameplay#ts4 challenge prompt#ts4 prompt
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What are your fav beetlebabes headcanons? Also, love your stuff <3
Thank you <3. And thank you for the wait cause oh boy if I don’t answer this ask with a ridiculous amount of art how will I live?
*Digging out the dust covered manuscript that is my nonexistent Beetlebabes fic from under the floorboards* It’s showtime.
So...Lydia is the one who falls first. She is about 17 or 18 at the time, so this is very much an “I have a teen crush on someone I am not supposed to” type of deal. Honestly they fell in love with each other way before that but like, platonically
Beej is...horribly oblivious XD. Honestly its for the best because Lydia spends the better part of her pre-college summer freaking about because any time her best friend walks in the door her heart wants to go bull-riding in her chest and if she actually has to confront her feelings she might just explode.
Then, just before Lydia was supposed to go away to college, Beetlejuice...disappears. He leaves a note, saying he’ll be back, but weeks turn into months, months turn into a year, and no one either in the living world or the netherworld has seen a hair of him. Lydia goes through college without really knowing what to do with herself, missing what was probably the closest person in her life. She graduates with a journalism degree and a minor in photography. She works for a newspaper as an investigative journalist before breaking off over less than great circumstances and going off on her own.
She’s 25 when she establishes herself as a pivate eye, with an enormous amount of anonymous sources being dead people. Also, this takes place in New York City.
(Yes she absolutely does exorcisms on the side).
She’s following a rather stange missing persons case when one of her sources points to a run down establishment that is 100% totally haunted. Except when she goes there she doesn’t find any ghosts, but rather
Beetlejuice. And he looks awful. And very much human.
Lydia: You look like hell.
Beej: Yeah, I just got back.
...
Beej: Also I’ma pass out now so you better catch me.
So he crashes at Lydia’s place, and the whole thing turns into solving the crime as well as Beej’s mysterious aquirement of a beating heart and working lungs. He doesn’t remember how that’s happened, only now everything is Too Much with Too Many Feelings. Speaking of feelings, you bet your ass there is PINING. SO much pining. Lydia’s best friend comes back and suddenly those feelings she’d dismissed as a stupid teenage crush come FLOODING BACK.
While Lydia’s internally feaking out over her feelings (it's totally normal and platonic to wanna kiss your best friend while he sleeps, right??), Beetlejuice is, you guessed it, totally oblivious! To his own feelings especially! All he knows is that it's his best friend only now she seems like a completely different person, and hot. She is now hot. His mad respect for Lydia makes him bury that thought deep, deep down. Also the whole marriage deal is a source on bad memories for both of them and he doesn’t wanna ruin the only good thing he’s ever had and-
Anyway, more pining:
Lydia’s feelings bring out resentment, too. She hates that Beej calls her kid, because that means he still sees her as one, and her ego and her desire for him make her want him to see her, the woman who's seen some real shit in the name of finding the truth, who can take care of herself, and who is very different from that angsty 15 year old girl on the roof.
It all comes ahead to a big confrontation where Lydia is shot, and Beetlejuice has to drag her to the hospital without any knowledge of how human bodies work and he has no magic so he can’t help her-
The hospital needs to know his relationship to her when they take her away, and Beetlejuice knows they wont let him in unless he’s close family so he is blurts out: “Husband. Yeah, I’m her...husband.”
Lydia wakes up with a patched up hole in her side and Beetlejuice clinging to her hand. She’s happy she’s alive, but also angry, because she could have avoided all of this. She was competent enough to not need anyone to rescue her.
She wants to get back on the case as soon as possible, she found the key lead, but Beej doesn’t wanna hear it, cause he saw way too much of her blood and he’s not big on how human bodies work, but he's pretty sure that shit’s supposed to stay inside. They’re arguing when the nurse comes in and adresses him as “Mr. Deetz.”
Lydia snatches the clipboard away, sees that he’s told them she’s his wife, and is livid. Because crush or not the wedding thing had a whole lot of baggage she does not want to unpack. She has to confront the fact that her feelings are for someone who manipulated her into marriage at 15 and who she’s not supposed to see in that way but she does anyway.
And Beej, a dumbass but also angry cause she almost died out of a stupid reckless mistake is like: "Why are you all mad? It was a green card thing. It's not like it means anything." And that gets Lyds even more upset, with him cause he's an idiot, and with herself because she's still pining for someone who, she thinks, still sees her as a child.
Lyds, getting her coat: "Fuck off."
BJ: "Kid-"
Lydia: "Stop calling me that! I haven't been a child since my mother died. I haven't been a child since you showed up! I haven't been a child since I've started this, since I moved here, since the first asshole tried to kill me. I've been through literal hell and I've had to pull myself out of it all on my own because I was still here and you left."
There's a beat of silence as Lydia realizes what she just said.
Lydia: "And that's fine. Because I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You taught me that, at least." She yanks her coat onto her shoulders and turns to go.
BJ, quietly, but its clear he's angry: "Do you think I wanted to leave?"
Lydia: "I don't know what you wanted. Do you even know what you wanted?" She pauses at the door, turns to him. "Do you know what you want, Betelgeuse?"
BJ: "I-"
He stops. He can't look her in the eye anymore. You. I want you. Lydia scoffs, turns to go.
BJ: "Lydia, wait-"
Lydia: "Fuck. Off."
She leaves, and he just stands there, floored by his too little too late realization. Lydia thinks the best thing to do after leaving the hospital with a bullet hole in her side and hopped up on painkillers is to go get drunk! Self-preservation? None
Beetlejuice finally finds her drunk off her ass and suddenly in a great mood. He grabs her under the arms like "Whelp. Time to go."
Lydia: "Nooo come on-"
BJ: "Aren't you on hospital drugs? Doesn't that shit kill you breathers if you mix it all up?"
Lydia: ":D I stopped taking them :'D it hurts like a bitch."
BJ: "I guess I have the shared braincell now. Okay, time to go."
He manages to get her in the car without incident, but when he gets in the driver's seat suddenly Lydia's all over him.
BJ, with a lap full of drunk Lydia: "What. What are you doing."
Lydia: "Beeetlejuice."
BJ: "Yeees?"
Lydia, smiling all dopey as she cups his cheeks: "Beeetlejuuuice."
BJ: "What"
Lydia's finger hovers over his nose, as if to boop him. He closes his eyes. And suddenly her lips are on his. She tastes like alcohol and hospital food and as she pulls away he can't think. Then she starts laughing. "Ha! Gotchaaa! Classic Bait and Switch!"
And he’s pissed.
BJ: "Ha. Ha. Good one, Lyds."
He dumps her out of his lap and into the passenger seat. Lydia blinks in confusion. Now she's cold. She wants to ask, but her mental faculties aren't all with her at the moment. He drives them home and helps her up the stairs before dumping her onto her bed. "Well. Bye." Lydia scrambles up the bed. The car ride gave her enough time to be at least a bit sober, and everything before getting here is blurry. "Where are you going?" Beetlejuice turns around, the widest smile on his face. She's confused for a moment before she realizes he's vibrating with rage. "Ya said you want me gone? Great! You don't need me, you can do your weird little suicidal quest thing yourself!" Lydia looks lost. They had a fight but she'd rarely seen him this angry. "If its about the thing at the hospital, I didn't- I didn't mean it-"
Beetlejuice: "Really? You'd think you'd be glad to have me gone. Why would you want a creep like me around? The whole marriage thing didn't just disappear, after all! Great to know you can still pull one on me, huh?"
Lydia: "Pull what, Beetlejuice-"
She remembers, hazily, the car ride.
They stare at each other for a moment Beej is breathing heavily, he's not used to living person emotions, ones you can feel with your whole body instead of just as an abstract thing, but its clear he's holding back
Lydia: "I wasn't-"
Beej: "You weren't what?"
Lydia (quietly): "It wasn't a joke."
The angry grin slips off Beej's face. He suddenly looks very, very tired. She might have believed just now that he'd lived for millennia.
Beej: “Why are you doin' this, Lyds? Did you know the whole damn time? It's not like I was gonna do anything, I just thought- I just-”
Lydia suddenly realizes that they are having two different conversations. And something else. She looks away, trying to wrap her head around it, and Beetlejuice doesn't read it correctly. He turns to go.
Lydia: “Wait!”
She jumps off the bed, feeling the whole world tip over slightly, still drunk, and stumbled over to him. He catches her instinctively as she grips his forearms for support.
Lydia: “Beej. Beej, look at me.”
She takes his face in her hands, and turns it toward her. He looks so lost, like one word from her might actually break him. She'd only seen that look on his face once before, and she never wants to again.
Lydia takes a breath.
Lydia: “Beetlejuice, I-”
Aaand then she throws up all over his shoes.
She doesn't quite remember what happened next, only that she was in the bathroom, leaning against the door, the toilet was flushed, she was sweating, and he wasn't there.
Lydia: “Beej?”
Beetlejuice (through the door): “...hi”
Lydia: “What-”
BJ: “-happened? Well, that's a story!”
His voice sounds cheerful, but it’s shaking slightly
BJ: “First ya threw up all over us both! then that little experiment of yours with mixing the meds went off, and you started babbling about...rocks? Then we got here, you heaved out the rest of your insides, and then ya kicked me out and said you were gonna shower, and now we're sitting here, so, yeah”
Lydia: “...Are you still covered in puke?”
BJ:”...yeah”
Lydia: “...sorry?”
BJ: “Pshh, what's a best friend if ya can't throw up on 'im a couple times.”
They both fall silent
Beetlejuice (quietly): “Lyds, do ya still want me here?”
...
Lydia takes the time to find the words. Want him here? After everything, he was still asking that question. Did he still think, after all this time, that she'd throw him out at the smallest inconvenience? Would he ever stop thinking that way? Why did he think so now? Was it because he- Because he-
Lydia: “I love you.”
The other side of the door is silent.
Lydia: “I love your stupid laugh. You sound like a fucking cartoon villain, its so fucking obnoxious. I love your jokes, all of them, even the shitty ones- you always look so god damn proud when you say them.”
Is she crying? She tries to wipe at her face, but the tears keep coming.
Lydia: “I loved you since that last day on the roof, and when you left-”
Her throat closes up. She chokes back on her tears, she has to finish it, he has to hear it.
Lydia: “When you left I thought I might die again.”
Lydia: “I kept seeing things, dumb branding on cereal boxes, that shitty college play I went to, my first client, and I kept thinking aw, Beej would have a field day with this one. I thought about what you'd say. You were like a voice I couldn't scrape out of my head, I thought I was going crazy, I thought I'd imagined it all, some lonely little girl with no life or friends, needing someone to talk to- But you'd been real, and then you were just gone- “
The words dissolve in her throat as she sobs, pulling her knees up to her chest. She feels like a child now. She feels more childlike than she had at 15. She’s clinging to a scrap of hope she doesn’t have a right to demand from him. And yet he'd said-
Lydia: “I love you. Please, don't leave.”
They sit is silence for a while. Lydia tries to stop crying. Then, quietly from the other side of the door:
BJ: “You know what I thought when I first saw you?”
Lydia: “Here’s a suicidal teen haha what a riot?”
BJ: “What? No, not then. Like now.”
Lydia: “Oh. What?”
BJ: “I thought wow, who the hell is that and why is she so dang hot?”
Lydia laughs.
BJ: “And then I thought oh God that’s Lydia.”
Something in his voice makes her pause. Maybe it’s the strange fear that she feels coming from him.
BJ: “It’s like, you’re Lydia, and I don’t know shit about you! You’re the same person, but you’re a stranger to me. Lyds, do you know how fucking terrifying that is? You’re someone I never got to know because of a shitty decision I don’t even remember making.”
he falls silent. She can hear the pain in his voice. And something else. Longing.
Beetlejuice: “I’d like to.”
Lydia opens the door. Beetlejuice scrables up, only for her to throw her arms around him.
They figure it out. It’s a slowburn 200k fic that I’ll never write so it takes a while for them to actually kiss, or do anything more, but they get there.
This turned out...ridiculously long XD. I don’t know what you meant by “headcanons”, exactly, but have this instead.
Thanks for the ask!
#beetlejuice#beetlebabes#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice musical#lydia deetz#betelgeuse#beetlelyds#here it is#the phantom 200k slow burn mutual pining fic#in post format#i spent...way too long making this#if some stuff is formatted differently its because i copy pasted off a discord server#my art#fan art#tw: vomiting#seems like a good one to tag#edit: love how i tagged vomiting but not suicide mention#though with this fandom its not exactly a shock#tw: suicide mention#vee's art
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Bakudeku vampire-esque fic. Canon divergent. Lots of angst, will have smut with biting kink, and a happy ending 😌
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
The blonde sat up in bed reaching out and screaming for Midoriya. But the moment his mind snapped back to reality his arm dropped along with his head; it was the same damn nightmare that’s plagued him since the incident. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat and his heart raced. Fucking nightmare or memory. What sucked is even he wasn’t certain which one it was. Bakugou ran his fingers though his damp hair and groaned. It couldn’t keep going like this, not night after night for a month enduring this struggle with no one to talk to about it. He couldn’t take being here at UA while his friend was out there missing, and only the authorities searched for him. Those inept, useless… Who else knew Midoriya better than himself?! Frankly, a part of him wanted to find the nerd and if he was alive beat his ass to a pulp for making them worry. “Deku is alive…” Bakugou breathed out a reminder. He knew deep down in his soul that his oldest friend was alive somewhere and they just needed to bring him back home.
“Fuck this!” He threw his blanket off and stormed out of the room, heading towards Aizawa’s office. With or without permission, no one was gonna stop him!
“Just let him go,” Aizawa placed a hand on All Might’s shoulder as they watched Bakugou blast away into the sky. If the symbol of peace looked tired before, now he looked simply broken. First his rising successor disappeared and now Bakugou wanted to leave too. For a good reason sure, but he was still worried. Those kids were like his sons and no father would want to see their children end up like this. Aizawa understood this all too well, for despite rarely showing it, his students were like his kids too.
All Might hung his head, “I know…. He wants to find his friend. But it’s been a month with no real sign of Midoriya. And after what happened— I can still sense him, but it’s faint and the connection is strange. What if something’s gone wrong…”
“Don’t you think it. Young Midoriya is tough, I’m sure there is a valid reason for his disappearance. Just be happy the Principal is being understanding and will allow them to graduate when they return.”
“The final semester of their high school career and this had to happen.” All Might squeezed his fists tighter. “I should have killed AFO when I had the chance.”
“Have faith in Bakugou, Toshinori….” ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this,’ Aizawa sighed in his head. “We can trust in him.”
All Might placed a hand over the one Aizawa had on his shoulder, giving it a pat, “I do.” But it wasn’t about trust that had him glum. It was guilt. He knew that despite their rivalry, there was a bond between those boys, and one he did his best to foster over the years. So, if there was anyone that he felt could find Midoriya, it was Bakugou. No, what he hated in himself was the fact they were in this position because he hadn’t been strong enough.
But Aizawa was right. No one blamed him and it wouldn’t help anyone for him to be self-defeatist. He was still a symbol of peace, and more than ever the public, nay the students needed his light. All Might exhaled, he couldn’t thank his old friend enough for helping to convince the principal in letting Bakugou leave on this mission of sorts, even as finals were looming. Hadn’t these kids proved their worth enough to earn their degree? They already had their licenses and they were pivotal in stopping the worst villain in quirk history. All Might stood up, “we should gather the other kids and inform them…”
The room was as silent as a grave after Aizawa and All Might finished informing the rest of Class 1-A of what was going on. It wasn’t very surprising. These kids were close, rather like a small family unit than just friends who have been through so many ups and downs in the last three years it was hard not to be devoted to one another. It had taken a lot of coping for them just to get through Midoriya’s disappearance, and yet here they sat stoic at being told another was leaving. Almost like they saw it coming. And frankly as All Might looked around to all their faces, that was exactly what he read. The girls, tears welling up in their eyes, flushed faces on the verge of letting go. The guys, fists clenched, and jaws locked. Even he could feel the moisture ready to cloud his vision. He missed his defacto son, but these kids… were sad, angry, hurt and needed their support, but they were trying so hard to stay strong.
What do you say in times like this?
“I’m sure…” Aizawa finally spoke up to address the pain, “that some if not all of you would love to rush out there to search for Midoriya. Please remember that the authorities are doing their best to locate him, and your classmate Bakugou has volunteered to assist with the principal’s permission. If there is anything you may cling to in this time, is faith in your friend to find Midoriya.”
More silence ensued, blanketing the room with a new wave of energy. A few gave into silent sobs, while others hung their heads in thought. It was a heavy fog of pressure, like what one may sense before a thunderstorm because it was true that most of them knew it was coming. For the past month, Bakugou paced like a tiger in a cage. The man couldn’t focus on studies and would rip into anyone that even dared to breathe Midoriya’s name in his presence. Something had to give. But they were also frustrated by all the uncertainty. Yes, they were just students, but this was their friends, and they were tired of being treated like children.
Kirishima slammed his fist onto the table. The sudden and loud sound echoing in the still room, causing a few to jump. “I know Bakugou will find him! But at least tell us what the hell happened back there! Why won’t anyone tell us…” his voice petered out as angry tears gathered along the corners of hardening skin threatening to explode. He was angry at Bakugou for not saying a word to him before leaving and frustrated that his friend wouldn’t tell him what he’d seen. None of them had witnessed those final moments, except the hothead. But he was just as frustrated with the adults over the secrecy.
Aizawa sighed and crossed his arms. “We really do not know Kirishima. By the time I arrived All for One was dead on the ground and Bakugou was barely conscious next to him mumbling Midoriya’s name. He remembered them fighting All for One, but once he was knocked unconscious, doesn’t know what happened until we found him. He thinks he remembers seeing a flash of light hit Midoriya at the same time All for One received the final blow, but we do not know what that could be.”
“Right now, I’m sure both of them would want you to let the authorities deal with this and focus on finishing the school year,” All Might chimed in, hoping to redirect their thoughts. “As difficult as it may be, to quit now when you are almost finished would be a shame, and a stain on what they also worked so hard to achieve.”
There were a few minutes of silence as the students pondered their teachers’ words.
“So, do it for them?” Todoroki finally broke the silence and questioned the teachers.
All Might mustered a half smile, “you could say that.”
Iida stood up. “Yes! We will graduate as heroes for them!”
“Let’s make them proud!” Added in Kaminari. He turned to a sulking Kirishima and slapped him on the back. “Dude, Bakugou would kill us if we don’t pass, so let’s not let that happen.”
The young man sighed, but his friend was right. “He so would.”
“That’s the spirit!” All Might pumped his fist in the air with pride at their positive turn around. The rest of the students now join in, standing or stating their intentions to not let the boys down.
“Now that, that’s all settled, let finish today’s lesson.” Groans ricochet around the room at Aizawa killing the mood again. “Yeah, yeah, just get your textbooks out…”
#bakudeku#bakudeku au#canon divergent#bakudeku fan fic#bakudeku fan fiction#Bakugou katuski#Midoriya izuku#katsuki x izuku#vampire au#blood quirk#bloody passion#ch 1#petri808
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It’s never too late
A little fic that I decided to put out after keeping it in my drafts for a year :) thank you @cygnetofthesea for your help and inspiration!
Nadia giggled as Guzman kissed her neck ever so slowly. They were supposed to be making breakfast, but instead Nadia was sitting on the countertop with Guzman in between her legs kissing her with his whole heart.
“I like being with you like this,” Guzman said with the biggest smile. He and Nadia had officially been dating for 3 years. They enjoyed most of their time in their little apartment or in Central Park where Nadia would read materials for her classes and Guzman would look up at her and play with her hair. They also liked to enjoy late night slices of pizza.
“I’m glad you waited for me,” Nadia said looking deeply into Guzman’s eyes. She knew that when she made her promise to him she wasn’t going to break it. Long distance was going to be hard, so they decided to stay close friends while figuring themselves out for a year. After Guzman graduated from Las Encinas, he went to NYU for a business degree and that’s when he and Nadia reconnected their romantic relationship.
“It was worth it mi amor,” Guzman said as he got from between her legs and opened the cabinet to look for some ingredients. Nadia liked Guzman’s breakfast but she was the best at cooking dinner. “Do you ever miss it?” Nadia asked “Las Encinas?” Guzman asked and Nadia nodded her head. “Well there are a lot of traumatizing memories, but there are also amazing ones...like meeting the love of my life.” Nadia smiled and got up from the counter. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I am so grateful.” She said wrapping her arms around Guzman’s neck. As they were about to kiss, they heard a knock on the door. “I’ll go get it.” Nadia said before giving her boyfriend a quick peck. Nadia opened the door to see her sister May standing before her. Nadia wasn’t sure how to react when May wrapped Nadia in a hug. “Hi Nadia, I’ve missed you so much!” May said as she stepped back from their hug. “May what are you doing here?” Nadia said still shocked. “Well I heard you were in the city from Omar and I decided it was time to reconnect with my family.” Nadia took a deep breath, “It’s a lot to process but I think that would be great” Nadia relaxed and said “Come in.” May stepped into the beautiful apartment that Nadia and Guzman called their home. “This place is amazing.” “Thank you. Guzman and I have been here for a year after we got tired of the college dorms.” Nadia smiled as she thought of a nervous Guzman asking her if she wanted to move in with him. He didn’t want to feel like they were rushing the relationship but Nadia gladly accepted because she was tired of being interrupted by Lu or Guzman’s roommate when they would have those private moments. Guzman parents helped him out with the rent along with his new job. He insisted that Nadia didn’t work so she could focus on school because her major was very hard. May gave Nadia a confused look, ”Guzman?” Nadia smiled, “My boyfriend. We’ve been together for 3 years but we’ve known each other since I started school at Las Encinas.” “Las Encinas? Like the school for the richest kids in Spain? How did you get to go there?” May asked Nadia with wide eyes. Nadia laughed, “It’s a long story, but I’ll explain later.” They walked into the kitchen to find Guzman starting some eggs. “Guzman I would like to introduce you to my sister May.” He looked just as surprised as Nadia did when he first saw her. “Hi nice to meet you, I’m Guzman.” May smiled and was a little shocked because she never thought her little sister would date a white guy. They all sat down and started eating. Nadia looked at her sister and said, “May what happened after you left home?” May took a deep breath and said, “A lot. After I left, I went with some friends to Barcelona and from there I got a job at a bar even though I was underage. I lived there for some time until I met a guy and he broke my heart so I decided I should try to reconnect with the people that really mattered to me.” She looked at Nadia who had a small smile on her face. “I’m really sorry by the way Nadia. I should have never left like that. And I didn’t even try to stay in touch. I’ve missed so much in your life.” Nadia took her sister’s hand from across the table and said, “It’s okay, I understand why you did.” Nadia paused and looked at Guzman, “If you hadn’t, I would have never been with Guzman.” May smiled at the two love birds and asked about their history, “So how did you two meet?” Nadia said, “Well the school I had been going to collapsed and since I was the top student in my class, I was given a scholarship.” Guzman interrupted and said, “Paid for by my father because he was the executive of the company that built her school. He made shortcuts while building it, so when it collapsed, he knew it was his responsibility to pay for their scholarships.” Nadia nodded and continued, “I initially saw Guzman when he got out the pool and I thought he was so hot.” Guzman smiled and said, “ I thought she was really pretty in her hijab and couldn’t stop staring at her as I got out the pool.” “Even though he had a girlfriend,” Nadia said laughing. “Yea well Lu was never really my girlfriend until she helped me after my sister died.” Nadia rubbed his back as he recalled the memory. He gave her a reassuring look and continued, “But when we got back to school for senior year, I knew I wasn’t over Nadia.” Nadia said, “Junior year we were friends and we started developing feelings for each other but decided not to explore it because Baba was gonna take me out of Las Encinas. He thought I was changing too much.” Guzman looked at May and said, “So I made a deal with your father and said I wouldn’t speak to Nadia if he would let her return to school the next year.” May smiled, “Wow, you really did that for her?” “Yea, for the summer at least. It was horrible not being able to talk to her on how I was doing with my sister being dead and all. But when I saw her on the first day of school, I knew I couldn’t keep ignoring her.” Nadia and Guzman told May about everything that happened in senior year. How they kissed and slept together while Guzman was still with Lu and even how they had sex in the locker room. May’s eyes were wide as she looked at them and asked, “What were you guys thinking?That was so risky.” “Yea we didn’t care at the time and I was really horny, but it was all messed up when someone recorded us and shared it to the whole school.” Nadia said. May looked concerned, “That must have been awful Nadia” “Yea it messed up a lot. Guzman and I were going to try a relationship but that video scared me away. But it also messed with me getting scholarships until I earned a scholarship to Columbia.” They continued to talk and Nadia felt completely comfortable being with her sister.
***
They decided to go shopping and spend some one on one time together. May smiled at Nadia and said, “So Guzman huh?” Nadia laughed and asked, “Yea so what? “I don’t know, I never thought you would date while in college, especially a white guy. And you gave me a lot of flack when we were younger for the boys I liked.” Nadia smiled, “Well Guzman was different. He knocked down all the walls I put up to guard my heart. I didn’t need to be scared of loving him. I knew I could trust him with my heart and he wouldn’t destroy it. Yes there have been ups and downs but we’ve always found our way back to each other.” She paused and turned to May, “ And I’m sorry I was so judgmental of you when we were younger. I was just trying to be the perfect daughter for Baba, but that wasn’t truly who I was. I should’ve tried to be there for you more.” May hugged her sister and said, “It’s okay we all make mistakes, I’m just glad those mistakes lead us to here.” Nadia wiped away the tears in her eyes and asked May about her life now. “I’m working on opening my own Palestinian restaurant in New York.” “Wow that’s amazing” Nadia said with the biggest smile. “Have you reached out to Mama and Baba?” “Yes, I talked to them last week and they weren’t mad...I’m very excited to be talking to my family again.” They started walking again and May asked, “So what are you up to now?” “I’m in my last year at Columbia and I’ve started working on certain internships.” May nodded and asked, “Are you happy?” Nadia responded, “Yes, very happy...and you?” May looked at her sister who she loved so much and said, “Now I am.”
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Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (13/17)
Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“
Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.
Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Link to cross-postings: AO3
Every year, for a few weeks at a time, life had a tendency of stopping.
And it had been following that same pattern for the past few years.
For Levi, the first signs of the freeze came when the last few red leaves fell to the ground, revealing the branches underneath. The trees were bare, the wind chill was cruel and the sky was constantly grey.
But the freeze was only a prelude that accompanied something much more daunting.That period of time in particular manifested as some sort of a limbo. That painful limbo where every student was suddenly reminded that maybe taking five classes at once was a bad idea.That limbo were suddenly all students ever had to think about were those five classes they were taking. Yet for some reason, everyone still found a reason to be stressed.
No training. No club activities.
Just deadline after deadline. Group work after group work. Exam after exam.
Of course it would be stressful. Since for many people, those last few submissions leading up to the holidays were always the most decisive. Making that deadline, making something of quality in that deadline always spelled the difference between honors and mediocre, a C for a degree or a failing F. Especially since for the first few months of school anyway, the urgency never hit.
Levi never had been one of those students gunning for honors. The regular tournaments and the twice a day training and the human need for some rest afterwards always meant that Levi was only barely passing most classes while every now and then scoring a B in one.
He was one of those people who thought of the final few weeks of school as some sort of a messiah, some last chance to pull a D to a C or if he were lucky a B. And those periods in limbo blurred so easily into hazy memories of sleepless nights, irrationally strong hate over some particularly shitty groupmate and those few hour long exams where Levi could have sworn his heart hadn’t even been beating.
He hadn’t expected his senior year to be any different. But on the days leading up to finals week, he started to realize he had fewer exams, a little more papers than usual. A side effect of being a senior in a non science course.
It could have been the luck of the draw maybe but his teachers had been kind and had requested he just send everything over.
Two requirements and One thesis. And Levi could always do it from the comfort of the study hall in the dorm.
The study hall was a medium sized building, most frequented by dormers.
One of its most notable characteristics was the window wide enough that anyone studying would be almost incapable of ignoring the scenery just outside. And in winter, the grey sky, the bare trees and the glass of the window that would fog up at the lightest caress were the main constants of the scenery. And even if it was impossible to ignore for most students, Levi didn’t think too much of it that winter in particular. Since the days leading up to deadlines, Hange had been right next to him.
There were those few moments in between studying when he would allow himself some reprieve. Picking what to focus on had never been a challenge. The dreary early winter scenery felt chilly even from the comfort of the heated study hall yet without even trying and Hange emitted a warmth that had resonated more powerfully than any feelings and preconceived notions rooted in his four years in a bubble. Her hums, her thoughtless mutters even her unfocused brown eyes the few times she looked up to give herself a quick rest, without even trying, they had felt warm and welcoming.
Maybe because just those small actions had been more than enough for Levi to feel very much connected to someone. For the first winter in his college life, Levi wasn’t alone
Although with the long hours studying, they never went too far beyond exchanging some few words, engaging some small talk. When their brains were completely fried, there wasn’t much else they could discuss anyway.
But they didn’t need to talk. Levi already felt it --- as he allowed the scratching of pen and paper and the familiar clack of the keyboard to keep him company in the stark silence of the study hall--- she had done her part to make that early a winter warmer than it usually was. She had done her part as well to make that limbo, that harsh in-between classes and holidays, almost enjoyable, a significant improvement from that limbo he had always braced himself to power through, every single year.
As he became a little more aware of her constant company, sometimes he could imagine the limbo had never been there, and it had all been a faint memory, a faint illusion of his life before.
And all Hange had to do was be there. Even when she was silent, highlighting line after line, cross checking journals and study guides, Hange managed to find a way to still be present.
When it came to studies, Hange’s case was a stark contrast to his, more urgent and more demanding, almost admirable. She had a full load and although Levi never did memorize her schedule, he figured it out soon enough having spent the days leading up to the exams cooped up with her in the study hall.
Exam after exam after exam.
And Hange was never without her laptop, her printed out study guides and her ebook reader. And she had been that way, all the way until the last day of exams, when the lobby of the dorm had emptied out, the hallways to his room a lot less busy and when Levi was particularly less self conscious about the awkward way he pulled his injured self up the stairs to his dorm room every night.
Everyone had gone home for the holidays already. And soon enough, it wasn’t such an odd sight to see just her familiar shape alone in the study hall.
The first day she didn’t have study guides felt like a big change.
He picked her out so easily, especially when there was nobody else hunched over their own notes. And Levi who had sat with her every single day in the study hall couldn't help but celebrate such a tiny development. “You’re done with exams?” He asked as he settled on the chair in front of her.
“One final paper,” Hange said, not looking up from her laptop.
“And then winter break?”
“And then I can finally work on my thesis.”
“Any ideas?”
“Yeah, some.”
“So you’ll probably be working during the break huh?”
Hange sat back on the chair and crossed her arms. “You know, I’m lucky enough the department is still allowing me to make a thesis even without a proposal presentation."
"At least you get to graduate on time."
"I know. This is just a weird place to be when at the start of the year, I was gunning for some best thesis award. Now I’m the only student in my block who’s disqualified. And on top of that, I’m starting from scratch again.”
“You could have continued from the last one.”
Hange closed her laptop and rested her chin on her hand. “I didn’t pick that topic because I wanted to. I just felt it was the most practical option. And when I consulted my parents, they said that was the best option to save time.”
“And it was.”
“But it felt weird. I couldn't bring myself to ask you the right questions or check your knee everyday. You were constantly in pain, sad, for a while you might even have been depressed…” Hange trailed off. She looked outside at the scenery on the other side of the window.
Levi could almost see the grey reflected on her eyes.
Hange continued. “I thought back to how you fucked up your knee and I realized I was reckless. When you scraped your knee I was there, then I pushed you to jump for my thesis and when I fucked up your life… and you never felt it even a little weird or annoying that I would be getting something out of it?" She looked at him as if expecting him to say something.
"I made the decision to push myself. Not you."
“Levi, please be honest. did I pressure you?” That was the moment, Hange chose to meet his gaze. She had a pleading look in her eyes that only made it difficult for Levi to reach within him for him some sort of a response.
He had the answer and it was so easily within reach. Yes, she did pressure him. But was that something he would have wanted to admit?
And when he started to ask more questions, he soon started to ask another more important question, was it Hange who had pushed him to do it? Or was it this image of Hange he was projecting onto her?
“You didn’t pressure me,” Levi said.
“Then why were you working so hard? Why did you push yourself?”
“Because… I felt pressured.”
“If not me, then by what? What pressured you?”
“Myself?” And by extension, everything else maybe? Captain Levi? Commander Hange Zoe? He added to himself. But he wasn’t crazy enough to say it.
“But here’s the thing, I could have sworn you were much calmer than that during the competitions. Actual competitions. But then since we met, ever since you scraped your knee, you were pushing yourself more than usual, you were much more tense. What were you working so hard for?”
“I pressured myself.”
“For what?” Hange’s eyes were boring holes into him. “I’m not your coach. Hell, I’m not an arbiter. I’m not an Olympic team scout. All I needed was your data for a thesis nobody was probably going to read anyway.”
“Don’t you have a paper to finish?”
“The final deadline is next week and I’m more than halfway done already. I have more than enough time to talk,” Hange said. Her face morphed into something a little more desperate. “Levi, I wanna know, what did I do wrong?”
At that moment, Levi froze. His eyes were completely fixed on hers, and he could only watch the way she started to study him, as if searching for an answer in the way he sat, the way he leaned back on the chair, the way he gripped the corner of the table. At once, Levi had become aware of all of his nervous ticks.
The tension in the room was thick enough at least for Levi to tell, that he wasn’t the only one feeling the discomfort. He willed himself to lean back further, get a wider view of her and he noticed the subtle signs, her hands were shaking, her lips were letting out a hint of a tremble.
Hange seemed to be in a similar state, self conscious and nervous. Maybe even ready to repent for whatever she had believed she had done wrong. As if she almost wanted to hear insults, criticisms and she even seemed ready to take a punch in the face.
But Levi’s thoughts were far from that.
The day they met, she had introduced herself and had approached him like they were close friends already.
The night they met, she had hid in the dark, watching silently while he trained. That night, she had stitched up his knee.
And in that process, she made him remember things.
You made me remember things.
And those things were what had pushed him to ‘tense up,’ to ‘work hard’ and to impress her.
But really was it anything wrong? “You didn’t do anything wrong,” Levi said. “I told you, I made the decision to push myself on my own.”
“But what did I do to push you?”
“Do you have to be doing something to push me? What if I just met you? And I thought, I wanna help her write her thesis then things happened, then overtime I realized I’m enjoying this.”
Hange shrugged. “You pitied your biggest fan enough to give her a freebie huh?”
“I said ‘I’d gladly stay by your side.’” I don’t think people give promises like that as freebies.”
“But you just met me.”
“You haven’t even met me and you were already keeping pictures of me like some sort of stalker.”
Hange only smiled at such an accusation. Within the few months, they had gotten used to a little banter after all. “Are you just humoring me?”
“No. I’m not. I’m happy to have met you and I said it then, I’ll say it again. If you want me to, I’ll stay by your side.”
“It’s just weird, okay. You have a lot more fans than you think you do. And you get friendly with me, some frumpy nerdy fan who followed your tournaments like crazy….”
“What other explanation would you like for this? Soulmates? Fate?”
“I don’t believe in any of those,” Hange said. “I don’t wanna believe in it. I like to think that I just made the decision to reach out to you. And I just got lucky you decided to reciprocate.”
“Then I got lucky you reached out too, Hange. This goes both ways.”
“I guess it does.” Hange closed her laptop and looked up at the ceiling. “Sorry if this came out of nowhere. With my last exam over, this was the only time I got to think about it again. But you know, thanks for staying here with me even if I was ignoring you half the time.”
“I knew you had a lot to make up for and besides, I’m fine just quietly sitting by.”
Hange’s features softened into a warm smile. “Me too. I’ll make this up to you. If I get this paper written by Friday. I’ll submit then. After that, you wanna go somewhere? Just the two of us?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to work on your thesis?”
“Your birthday is on the 25th right? But I wanna do something for Christmas so I’m thinking... what if we have an early birthday celebration and we do something else for Christmas?
“You know that’s my birthday Hange, I get to decide how I wanna spend it.”
“But what if it’s my treat?”
“It’s still my birthday.”
Hange gave him a long look. “Okay, what about this? I’m hoping to use your stories for references to my thesis. And I wanna make it up to you… I’ll treat you out on Saturday for that then after, you decide what you wanna do on your birthday.”
“I never said we couldn’t do that for my birthday.”
“Well if you were just more direct with things we wouldn't have to bounce off ideas like this back and forth. Are we celebrating your birthday early or not?”
“And besides I never even said anything about you using my stories for your thesis.”
“Just answer the questions one at a time Levi,” Hange pressed. She checked her watch. “And...I’m meeting someone in a few minutes.”
“Before I answer, what’s your thesis about?”
Hange looked ready to pull her hair out in frustration. “I don’t know yet but I might use it. Anyway, if you’re not gonna answer me, then we treat this Saturday as my celebration for your birthday. Deal?”
“Yes to the thesis. Yes to the early birthday. Are you happy?”
Hange let out a loud sigh of exasperation. “There. Why did that take so long to get out of you?”
Levi ignored that question. “So when are you going to tell me what your new thesis is about?”
“Maybe during your actual birthday? If you bestow on me the privilege of celebrating such an important occasion with you?“ Hange suggested. She quickly gathered her things and dumped it into her canvas bag. Her movements were wilder, messier than usual. So messy Levi found himself cringing at such a sight. He was fairly certain Hange had done that on purpose.
He only confirmed it a second later, as Hange bolted towards the door and gave him the most smug face.
Levi was sure, if he wasn’t so injured, he probably would have bolted right after her. And he was certain he would have caught up to her.
***
“Nice hoodie. The color green really suits you,” Hange called in a way of greeting.
There were no hi’s or hello’s and she hadn’t given one in a while. Yet for some reason, such an unconventional greeting still had Levi raising eyebrows. “Is this your way of making up for a few days ago?”
Hange shrugged. “What if I just wanted to compliment your new hoodie?”
“For one, this is not a new hoodie,” Levi said. “Besides we didn’t separate on the best of terms last Wednesday and you didn’t even reply to my messages after.”
“Well, I finished my paper and I started my thesis… And hey... I did leave you some messages.”
Levi was sure he didn’t receive any messages. He did not receive any notifications for sure. On top of that, he had taken the liberty as well to check back to his inbox every hour or so. Just to make sure his notifications were actually working
But still just in case he was mistaken, he checked his phone under her confused yet watchful gaze only to find that in fact he was right, she didn’t send any messages. He opened up to their untouched chat box and showed it to her.
“Did you check your document?”
“My document?”
“The one with the soldier and titan stories.”
“Why the hell would you leave messages there?”
“I was catching up to it okay.” Hange’s lips curled up into a smile as she spoke. “And I really enjoyed it. A lot. I left so many comments there. I thought you’d reply.”
Levi looked away guiltily. He turned off the notifications on the document a few weeks back. He liked to blame finals week for the inactivity. Yet with all his final papers completed and submitted, he was still making a conscious effort to ignore that document.
But did he want to tell her that? For a while maybe he did consider telling her he had no intention of touching it again.
But Hange continued talking. “When Commander Hange told Captain Levi to live with him in the woods… Wow you know you described it pretty well, I could almost imagine what was happening. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I managed to dream up something like that. But why did you have to end like that?” Hange twisted her face into a little too serious of an expression. “Shoot or listen it’s up to you.” Hange repeated, an attempt at mimicking Captain Levi for sure, but it was too comical given the context of the tirade.
Shoot or listen it’s up to you.
What if Captain Levi got shot? Before Levi could speak up though, Hange pressed on.
“Now that exams are over… are you gonna write more?”
Levi didn’t reply. Or at least, he couldn’t bring himself to verbalize a reply. Maybe he had brought his head up then down, in the form of some small nod. Maybe it could have been just him looking up to see the crowds making their way to the train station.
The train station closest to their university was one of the busiest ones in town. Even a little past eight on a Saturday morning, there were still crowds large enough that navigating through them still required some effort.
And whether Hange had seen that nod, or whether she had been too distracted by the buying of tickets and the navigating of crowds, Levi never thought too much about it. He brushed the thought aside as soon as she herself abandoned that topic of conversation and the question she asked only a second ago.
And she didn’t push that topic of conversation any longer. Even after they arrived at the platform, even after they boarded the train.
Train rides were always quiet. No one really ever started conversation in trains, instead passing the times with their phones on silent mode, save for a few children who still weren’t completely familiar yet with that unwritten rule
At that moment though, Levi was thankful. Hange was silent. He was silent. And he had a little more mind space to decide how to navigate the topic of his story.
Just in case she did ask again.
***
“Question, so is that the type of green that you imagined for the survey corps cloak?” Hange asked, pinching the sleeve of his hoodie.
Levi looked down at his hoodie. The hoodie was of a dark green color, and he only had to take a glance to put two and two together. “Yes it is.”
“I thought it would be. You know this is the same green I’m imagining.”
Levi smiled. He met Hange’s gaze and even when Hange had looked away, making her way to the park entrance, he made an effort to follow her gaze.
“You thought this far huh?” Levi asked, as she stopped at the turnstile and inserted her ticket then his ticket in.
Hange grabbed a flyer on the way out and looked back at him. “It was a good read. I really felt like I was in the story. And you know, it might sound weird but I kinda really saw myself in her. You know that passion she felt, with the titans and all… I think I’ve felt something similar back when I was still winning competitions when I was younger. I did loads of research back in high school.”
Levi only had to look back at the long hours he had spent stalking her on article after article to confirm that she was telling the truth.
Hange’s rambles about her research in high school though soon faded into some good background noise. He remembered some points, he forgot some. Then, his main focus though had been the green scenery that welcomed him as soon as they exited the train station. The station exit had opened up to a park, a large park with no end in sight. Only flowers and shrubs that lead up to trees with the mountains and horizons at the back of it all.
“When I was reading your story, they talked about what lay beyond the walls… For some reason, I imagined this park. I saw it on a documentary a few years back, streams that seem like they stretch out for eternity, miles and miles of mountains and forests. They said, when you step out of the station, it would feel like another world. And when I thought about what to do for your birthday...” Hange trailed off as she stepped forward into the main path. “I thought… why not show you the scenery I imagined? Maybe I could contribute to your story, help inspire you to write. I hope this view didn’t disappoint.”
It doesn’t. It’s beautiful.
Thinking about it, of course there had been a little more people exiting the train at that station. Of course the station would be much larger and a little more exquisite than other stations.
The view proved to be very much worth the three hour travel and the struggle of changing trains.
They had taken a regional train, then had switched to a few local ones. And looking out the window of the train then, Levi had appreciated how the landscape quickly changed almost blending across one another, the bare trees which almost had a grey tint to them, had gradually shifted to dull bare rice fields. Somewhere in between, the evergreen trees made their entrance, slowly then all at once, in some strange sort of way that Levi was never able to pick out the exact moment that he was sure, the evergreen trees were there to stay for good.
The snow had yet to fall there, and with the evergreen trees and the moss and lichens that littered the paths, Levi could at least pretend it wasn’t winter yet.
Green after all, was a very warm color.
Hange opened her map and leaned a little closer towards Levi so he could get a good look. The map was all green, decorated with markers, mini mountains, rest houses, water refill areas, toilets and picnic sites. There were flower symbols, marked by season. And skirting the circumference of the map were three circles: a large green one, inside it a red one, inside it a yellow one, a very small circle that covered two picnic areas and one flower area occupied the center and next to it a bright red arrow marker ‘You are here.’
“So, I know you wouldn’t be able to handle too much of a walk yet, so we could stick to something short? Just skirt around this area…” She traced the smallest circle along the park and turned to him expectantly.
“What do you wanna see?” Levi asked.
“Anything really. I’m just happy to be able to visit a park like this.”
“No, really Hange. What do you wanna see?” Levi pressed. He planted his bum leg on the ground and stepped forward with it with a little more finesse as if to prove a point. I can walk at least. “If I wasn’t injured right now, where would you have pulled me to go?”
There was some progress at least. He was surprised to see that he could put some extra weight on his knee without so much as a wobble. The stiff brace was probably doing all the work then but Levi was confident he could get a good number of steps across before tiring out his body.
“I’m sure we both don’t want another hospital visit.,” Hange warned.
“I’m fine. I’ve had enough physical therapy lessons and I managed to put some weight on my knee already. Even without the brace..”
For a second, there was a glimmer of hope in Hange’s eyes. She blinked it back before Levi could be sure. “I’m fine with the shortest path,” she said. “This blue one.”
“Are you sure? All we’re gonna see if we follow this path are two picnic sites, a mini forest and one portapotty. You’ll be disappointed.”
“But Levi, what if you get injured again?”
“Didn’t you say this was my birthday treat?”
“We can always go again---”
“In the summer? After you finish your thesis?” Levi raised one eyebrow at her in accusation. “We endured a three hour train ride for this. Let’s make the most of it.”
“Then… which path do you wanna follow?” Hange asked.
Levi gently placed one finger on the green one and traced it. He had only gone half way before Hange pulled the map away.
“No way. That’s at least a five kilometer hike,” Hange said.
Levi pulled the map back gently and pointed at the markers. “Come on, the landscape here seems pretty flat and there’s a forest here and a river. And if we walk ahead here... I’m guessing you wanna see the mountain? They built an observatory there,” Levi said. “Didn’t you say you wanted to know how it feels like to fly?”
Hange’s face turned a little red, her eyes looking a little unfocused as she followed the map with her eyes and looked ahead at the scenery. When Levi squinted, he could tell the peak which stood out from the rest, the small lump that stuck out on one of the hills, a little higher than the rest.
“You didn’t get to do this a lot when you were a kid huh?” Levi asked. He didn’t intend it to be a provocation at first. But when Hange folded her map and took a deep breath, he was grateful for those last few words that popped into his head then.
“My parents didn’t really like taking vacations in the countryside,” Hange admitted.
“One round around there, maybe we’ll go all the way up to the observatory and back,” Levi said. “And if my knee starts hurting, I promise, I’ll tell you.”
Hange’s lips curled up into a playful smile. “If I need to, I’ll carry you back.” She walked ahead, gesturing for him to follow. Levi was almost tempted not to follow. That little playful of an offer and the uncertainty that came with Levi wondering a little too hard about whether she was kidding or nothing, had him entertaining the idea of turning his back on her for a second.
Just to mess with her.
The view had been much stronger then, the way the sun shone on Hange and reflected on her glasses had been too beautiful of a view. It had been a while since he’d seen that much green.
And it wouldn’t be that way for the next three months at least.
As he followed her to the path that followed that large green sign, Levi started to think, maybe that experience might just be worth the embarrassment of a piggy back ride on the way back.
***
Man down!
Hey! Are you alive?
“So the river must be pretty near here huh...” Hange said, not looking up from the map.
Levi had heard the sound of the rushing water stream before she had mentioned it. Whether it had been a river or a stream, he didn’t bother trifling with such detail. The trees that lined the main path, and the sound of rushing water had brought him somewhere else, to another time.
“Wanna see the river?” Hange grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards a smaller path that had been unnoticeable from his peripherals.
As Levi looked to the right, to the shrubs that opened up into an empty space, he noticed the remnants of a path almost completely concealed by shrubs.
“Why would you wanna see the river?”
Hange shrugged. “We don’t get to see this much nature often right? If we follow it…. Maybe we can see a waterfall at the end?”
Levi narrowed his eyes. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen that much nature since he had gone home for a visit more than a few years ago. Maybe that was why the greens and the landscapes had been oddly fascinating.
And Hange. Hange was a lot more entranced than he was. He could have sworn he had lost her a few times to the trees that lined the path.
“We take a look,” Levi said. “Then we go back on the path. I don’t want us getting lost here.”
Hange was too engrossed in her surroundings and then, her eyes had looked a little too wild. But the moment Levi had mentioned that last part, Hange twisted her face into a pout, a pout of defeat at least. “You’re right. Let’s just check out the river here and go back the way we came.” She clutched his hand, gripping a little tighter than usual. “Your knee is still okay right?”
Levi nodded. There could have been some lie to the reaction but it was still too small of a lie for him to need to justify anything. His knee ached for sure. It was an ache dull enough though for Levi to clock it to the tightness of his brace.
To his relief, the river was only less than a two minute walk away. It had seemed farther due to the dense forest that lined the main path. But the density could have been an illusion as well. It opened up to a treeless plain, just a good few meters of grass and beyond that was a river that harbored such a violent flow of water.
Both violent and peaceful, Levi soon realized. As if it was the river’s business to just run hurriedly towards its destination while at the same time crashing towards the shore.
“The river I imagined was a lot like this,” Hange spoke up.
“What river?”
“The one in your story.” Hange answered matter-of-factly. Her eyes were wide with surprise.
Levi wondered if his face showed any sign of that little charade. He had recognized it after all, long before Hange had even mentioned it. It turned out, only the rushing sound of water was enough for him to recall it so vividly.
The view in front of him only added salt to the wounds he just recently realized he had.
Phantom wounds. Even the word phantom couldn’t really justify how it felt then. Back he had written it, he could empathize for sure. Then and there, the view in front of him, had him touching his right eye, just to make sure it was still there and soon after, he wiggled his two fingers just to make sure they were still attached.
“Commander Hange found him in a river like this right? Did you imagine this kind of river too?”
“Maybe,” Levi muttered. He didn’t think too far as to the width of the river or the shape of the blades of grass below. The rushing of the river, the tone of Hange’s voice were enough at least to make him realize that could have very much been the river banks she had found him on. “Commander Hange would now.” Levi added a second later.
Hange cleared her throat. “Well then, I’ll make you imagine it. Call me commander Hange Zoe,” Hange said. “So after the river, where did we go next, Captain Levi?”
“You read it right?”
“They jumped into the river together,” Hange said.
Levi’s eyes widened. “They did?” Levi had dreamt of splashes, the cold water slapping at his face and the numbness that followed. Of course that would have meant them jumping into the river. But why had it taken him so long to put two and two together? “Yeah you’re right. They did.”
Hange chuckled. “Weren’t you the one who wrote it?” She looked back at the dense foliage behind them and back at him. “Let’s go back?”
“Yeah… Sure…” Levi turned on his heel, making his way back to the path only stopping when Hange grabbed at his arm and put it around her shoulder.
“You’re walking much slower now you know,” she said. “Should we go back?”
Levi shook his head. “No, keep going.” His weight on her shoulders was a familiar sensation, almost nostalgic. And the green around him, the breeze and the peaceful rustle of leaves only helped to comfort him further.
There may have been some others along the trail, but Levi wasn’t looking at anyone else. Along the way on the path, the small support had evolved to a piggy back ride.
Surprisingly, Levi wasn’t at all self conscious.
“You’re much lighter than I thought you would be.”
“I honestly feel like I’ve lost weight since the injury. I probably had a lot more muscle back in the summer.” Levi let his head hang back as he stared up at the blue sky above him. The two stopped for a rest in one of the forest clearings a good few meters away from the path.
The ground beneath him was dirty for sure and he felt the leaves and stones through his thick joggers. For some reason though, he wasn’t at all in a hurry to get up.
Hange squeezed his leg. “I’d think physical therapy would have done something about that.”
“Hange, can anyone actually gain muscle learning how to walk again?”
“I’m pretty sure you do other stuff in therapy.”
“Yeah, but it’s far from the training I used to do for high jumps,” Levi said. “Even if my knee magically heals now, who knows if I’ll even be able to manage a two meter jump again.”
Hange closed her eyes and hummed, seeming deep in thought for a second. “Captain Levi was humanity’s strongest,” she said. “Then he got injured in some explosion and ended up half dead on the banks of the river.”
Levi could only watch silently as Hange pulled her legs a little closer to herself and pressed one finger to her left eye and before he knew it, Levi found himself mirroring that slight movement, the phantom pains returned for a split second.
“But I can’t imagine the story ended there. Humanity’s strongest soldier wouldn’t go out of commission over an injury like that. After that, he had to continue fighting right?” Hange continued.
Maybe we should just live here together. Right Levi?
If we keep running and hiding, what will that get us.
The rustle of the leaves, the clear sky above him and the way Hange had rested her elbow on her knees, touching her hand to her left eye. Those were more than enough crumbs for Levi to almost hear the conversation in the silence.
Shoot or Listen. It’s up to you.
“He continued fighting,” Levi said. He let out a cough. “No--- They continued fighting. Captain Levi and Commander Hange Zoe did.”
***
“Maybe I should have built a cart,” Hange said as she rested on the bench. She heaved a breath so strong Levi could have believed she had held her breath the whole way to the rest house.
“You didn’t have to support me here. I could have walked it.”
“Believe me Levi, this isn’t much. It’s like just another day in the gym,” Hange said.
“If we were doing this months ago I could have done five rounds of this trail with you on my back.”
Hange grinned. “Is that a challenge?”
“I said five months ago. Not now.”
Levi stretched his arms out, noting how heavy it was then, particularly when compared to months ago. Back then, it had been his arms carrying him over the bar, then and there stretched out in front of him, those same arms felt like dead weight. And the dead weight stretched out to all parts of his body, all the way until his legs, settling particularly on his braced knee.
And for a second, it hurt. Enough for Levi to instinctively put his hand on top of it, an attempt to pacify it before it got unbearable.
A second later, another propped her hand on top of his and Levi followed it all the way up until Hange.
Her face was hopeful, her eyes wide with what could have been curiosity and soon enough, maybe plans and ideas. “When your knee heals, let’s do this again,” she said.
The path wouldn’t change. It would pass by the same glades, the same rivers and through the halfway point that was the rest house.
The seasons would change the scenery for sure, each would bring its own flavor to the paths. But Levi was sure that wasn’t what Hange was thinking about then as she looked elsewhere, first scanning her surroundings then settling somewhere above.
Levi didn’t have to follow her gaze to know it. It had been the main attraction since they had gotten past the forest and into the clearing.
Of course, that was what Hange would have liked to see.
There was a reason the rest house had been placed so conveniently there at that halfway point. In front of the rest house, the mountain path broke into a fork, one with the green sign which would loop back to the entrance, the other snaked up the mountain, so steeply Levi was sure in his current state, he would only injure himself further if he attempted to climb to the top.
And what lay above there, was the observatory, the one lump he had remembered seeing from the entrance of the station.
We walked that far? Levi thought to himself then. He looked to Hange who was still very much focused on the view of the observatory from their place on the bench.
You’re still looking at it? “You really wanna check it out?” Levi asked.
“The what?” Hange looked back at him, her eyes wide with surprise.
“The observatory, on the peak, up there.”
“Maybe next time.” She shrugged, “Even if you insist, I’m not making you climb that.”
The trail was steep enough at least that Levi was sure they’d have to be on all fours for a good majority of that difficult hike.
“You wanna get something to eat?” Hange asked as she held a hand out to help him up.
“Sure.”
The resthouse only offered the bare minimum, rice balls and sandwiches as if they were doing their part to prevent anybody else from overeating mid hike. Those amenities, the indoor benches and the indoor heating was more than enough though for an already exhausted Levi.
It was as if his body realized that it was time to rest, and chose that moment to complain, putting emphasis in particular to the aches and pains on his knee. Even holding on to Hange who had supported him the rest of the way, had brought with it a few more unwelcome pains and even Levi’s shoulders that had not done much but tense up as he held on to Hange, were starting to hurt.
“You tired?” She asked in between bites of her riceball.
“I’m having fun.”
“That wasn’t the question,” Hange retorted.
“Aren’t you supposed to be tired, you were pretty much supporting me the whole time.”
Hange rolled her shoulders. “I still workout in between studies. Besides I told you, you’re light.” she said.
But Levi did notice in her flushed face and the way she had paused a few times in between sentences, she was tired. Tired but still very much enjoying it. Tired but still very much unsatisfied.
And he saw it in the way she would sneak glances out the window as if…
“You really wanna climb the hill, don’t you?”
Hange bit her lip, quickly crumpling the empty wrapper of the rice ball. As if that could have been enough to stave whatever conflicted feelings seemed to be boiling inside her.
“It’s fine, okay. You can leave me here first.”
“But… I wanna see that view with you.” Hange said. “We could wait until the summer, when your leg is fully healed. Maybe we could ask Erwin about it…”
“Summer is a long time from now and before that, you’re gonna have to finish your thesis, then you’re gonna have to defend it. Who knows how quickly things will change by then,”
Hange avoided his gaze, instead focusing on the crumpled plastic wrapper in front of her and she held it in her hands like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“Hange, I can wait here you know.” Levi pressed. “I’ve flown more than enough times to be satisfied for a lifetime. You don’t have to wait for me. Just show me the way next summer.”
Hange required more prodding after that. But Levi had figured out the secret to it already. All he had to do was subtly lead her to the spot where the path quickly bent upwards, to the steep incline, so steep that Levi couldn’t completely get a view of what lay beyond, even with his head bent back it hurt.
Hange’s face though was a little more flushed and there was a sparkle in her eyes. She was almost there.
Levi just had to push her a little closer. “It might get cold up there.” He removed his hoodie and handed it to her. “I’ll be waiting inside the resthouse so I’ll keep warm there. Just come back there after you’re satisfied.”
Hange gave him a look of surprise which quickly softened into something that resembled more a puppy that was given their first treat. “Levi….” She quickly put the hoodie on and for a good few seconds, Levi was struggling to find the next words to say.
‘That shade of green… it looks good on you too,” Levi managed to say.
“This is the survey corps green after all right?” Hange said, giving him the most cheeky expression.
“Yes. And it looks good on you, Commander Hange Zoe.” It could have been instinct or it could have been something else. But maybe along the way, he had just gotten used to pushing and prodding at her, the way she had done to him many times before.
He found himself pressing his left fist into her heart, focusing then on the way the fingers on his left hand curled clumsily into a fist. He was right handed, yet it was his left hand that fought for ground on her chest.
“Climb to your heart’s content.”
Dedicate your heart.
As Hange looked up at the steep hill above her, the afternoon sun chose that moment to shine on her, and Levi made out the sweat in her brow.
“To your heart’s content? That’s a pretty cheesy line Levi.”
That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.
And before Levi could even say a last goodbye, beg her to come back, she turned her back to him.
He could have called out to her, he was sure of it. But then, as he watched her climb, he could only stand frozen.
At first, he wanted to attribute it to the chill. He was only wearing one thin sweater, one layer, in almost sub zero temperatures. But the biting cold was the last thing on his mind.
Why didn’t you run after her?
The phantom pains came back. And that time, they weren’t pale in comparison to the rest of the sensations. They took over, as if the view in front of him then had breathed new life into those wounds.
Why couldn’t I run after her?
His whole body ached. His legs were bruised, his stomach was eating him inside out. HIs fingers burned and his face stung of wounds.
And he forced himself to look above him as Hange continued to climb. The sun was streaming right into his face, and even as his eyes burned at such a sight, Levi couldn’t look away.
It was as if the afternoon sun was eating her up, every color in her, the shadows consumed her. And soon, the only thing he could see was a black silhouette, that only got smaller and smaller the longer he looked.
See you later, Hange.
“And then what happened?” Levi muttered to himself, as if saying it out loud would make the dreams and the memories come at him faster.
They weren’t feeling obedient at all that day though.
“What happened to Hange?” He pressed, his voice a little louder than a second ago.
Levi forced himself to look back up as if searching for some sort of an answer in the view in front of him then. The memories and dreams after all had a tendency of washing over him after he fixates on the subject a little longer than necessary.
It never came though and soon enough, her silhouette was small enough to be fully covered by his pinky finger as he reached his hand out and raised his hand over his face.
And he was starting to get a little more desperate. If he couldn’t call out to those memories, he could call out to her, right?
“Hange!” Can you hear me? The memories couldn’t have ended there.
The last view of her was a silhouette, a black silhouette, much farther and much smaller than the one in front of him then. But at that moment, she felt far, completely out of reach.
Levi’s throat burned, his vision blurred as if trying to get rid of even that remnant of view.
Around that time, time stopped. Everything started to dissolve into conglomerations of sights and sounds. He was starting to even have trouble processing the rustling of the leaves and even the voices in the background.
And as he tried to take control of his body then, with the smaller motions, Levi soon started to realize he wasn’t even in control of his fingers, his hands or his legs. He moved the goalposts, attempting to at least take control of breaths, the rhythm as he swallowed that lump in his throat.
His body though was a spiteful thing. As soon as he became aware of those small motions though, it deprived him of those comforts as well.
And Levi soon found himself struggling to breathe, struggling to swallow.
Soon, he was struggling to do anything to remind himself that his body was still his to control.
“Hey, sir are you okay?”
What…
“Hey Levi… Look at me?”
Hange… When did you get here?
Hange’s eyes were fixed on his. And she narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brows as if deep in thought. And in her eyes he saw a glimmer of something else. Concern?
Soon enough, a shadow went over his right eye and before Levi could recoil, it was gone. But the shadow left the cool feeling of something wet under his eyes.
Wet...Tears?
Hange spoke up only confirming it. “Levi… Why are you crying?”
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Blossom fully (deep in my bones)
(Teacher!JK x College student!Reader) PART ONE
Warnings: JK has anger management issues, very slight violence, a lot of fluff, don't get a heart attack.
Genre: Fluff.
Word Count: 10.3k
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
I have decided to turn this into a trilogy. This is Part One, enjoy. Let me know if you want to be tagged (you could just comment, or dm me).
Love. Adoration. Lust. For Jeon Jungkook, his entire life, they had been just words, nothing more – after all, these were just concepts made by society, what if people had not known about the concept of love? Would they still try to find it? Would they still be willing to work for it? Then, you came into his life, and gave meaning to those words.
“Welcome to the annual football championship between Seoul Nation University and Sungkyunkwan University 2020,”
“Break his jaw!” Jungkook heard the other team chant, while looking at him. He just scoffed while adjusting his gloves, as if.
“Really? Think you can do it? Go ahead and try,” Jungkook mocked them across the field, his tongue poking against his left cheek.
Jungkook was never set out for failure, it was never allowed in his life – because he knew for a fact that his father would have his throat if he didn’t turn out to be the best of the best.
At age five, he had a strict workout regime and had less than 10 percent body fat, maintained till present date. He had also learnt that he would rather be loved than feared, he hated the look in the eyes of his classmates when he accidentally punched his seatmate, Byung-chul, just because he had taken his red crayon without asking. Now, no one would sit next to him at lunch.
He told himself that he didn’t mind it, but he couldn’t help but cry at night because no one wanted to play on the see-saw with him. He knew if he asked them, they would have no choice other than to say yes, after all, they didn’t want to end up like Byung-chul, hospitalized, with a broken arm. But what’s the use, if they don’t actually want to be with him?
Age seven, he had landed his first punch on his butler when he saw him abuse his dog. He didn’t know what to tell to his therapist, how could he explain that all he saw was red when he saw Yeontan being thrown out of the room? How could he explain that he had no control over his body? He couldn’t control the beast in him that had pounced over the man.
Age ten, he landed his position as quarterback on the national “Under 19,” football team. Soon, he had to drop out – not because he couldn’t play well, hell, he was probably the most talented played that they could’ve scouted. But, because he wouldn’t tolerate any thing that would come in the path of him and his success.
Age fifteen, he had graduated high school, gotten a perfect 1600 in his SAT, and been given a full ride to SNU. Throughout his high school career, despite having narrow minded, shallow and mindless classmates, Jungkook still wishes he made more memories, had photos with friends in his camera roll (rather than just pictures of sunsets and tattoo designs),
Age 20. Present Day, and he had earned the title of Doctor, not that he could actually perform in the surgeries because of his “anger issues”. Currently, he was a Grad student, but also taught the first year Undergrads, just because of his immense knowledge that could be on par with the old, wrinkly professors that had been teaching since 30+ years.
There had never been a championship, never an exam, never a game that Jeon Jungkook hadn’t won. He wasn’t going to lose this one either. The chants from hundreds of people across the campus stadium were deaf on his ears when he heard the other team’s captain call him an asshole.
Everyone knew Jungkook had well, anger management issues. And to say they were bad was, well, an understatement. So far, the only thing he’s learnt from 14 years of anger management classes, movies, documentaries and seminars is that – only attack when they punch you enough to make you bleed.
“Jeon! Look out!”
Without a warning, the other team’s captain had punched him in the face, hard enough to bust his lip.
Jungkook just sighed, shook his head as if he were disappointed (He was, in fact disappointed, did this dumbass not known what he could do to him?), and calmly just brushed his white glove against his lip, internally wishing he could see his red blood smeared across it.
And there it was, a streak of blood. Then, Jungkook punched him back – not stopping until his face was almost disfigured – suits him for even trying to mess with Jeon Jungkook.
Around an hour later, Jungkook already knew he was going to be chewed out by the college dean, so he was already counting down from 100 on his way to seminar room number 3.
“54, 53, 52, 51,” he muttered under his breath, pushing back his – now long (he really ought to cut it now, it was starting to get into his eyes) – hair back with his left hand, and entered the room. He could see he interrupted a lecture, and was almost about to head back when-
“Oh! Jeon Jungkook, what a pleasure!” he heard the college dean speak in his pretentious, and extremely conceited voice, here we go again.
“Everyone! Welcome Doctor Jeon Jungkook, he’s one of our in-house surgeons. Topper of the college, topper of the board, topper of the university. In fact, he’s of the one of the best – if not the best student SNU has ever got the chance to teach. He’s got the most impeccable academic record, of all time, now going to teach biochemistry to first year undergraduates this year,” Jungkook scoffed when he heard the entire class clap their hands at his arrival, after the Dean’s speech that complimented him, but he knew better, he kne-
“But what’s the use of all that? In anger management, he scores a zero. He’s a classic example for all of you, if you can’t hold your anger in, you’re nothing more than a murderer with surgical instruments in an emergency ward. Without compassion, your degree is of no use to me. Even a low score is acceptable to me, but not that behaviour,”
Was he trying to rile Jungkook up on purpose?
“Please continue, sir, I really loved the analysis you’ve done on me, please do continue,” The words flew out of Jungkook’s mouth as he made his way up the stairs to the stage where the dean stood.
“What behaviour is this? I need you to write an apology letter to Sungkyunkwan University, and to the college board as well,”
It was clear the dean was about to get off the stage, before well, Jungkook spoke again. The dean didn’t really think he was getting off this easily, did he?
“Football is a violent sport, the minute they entered our territory, and tried to abuse the rules, that’s the minute everything and anything is allowed. As far as the apology goes, I’d rather quit the college than write that bullshit,”
The seminar room was so quite that a pin dropped would shatter the silence. Jungkook smirked before he exited, “I won’t lose anything by leaving SNU, any other medical program in the world will be ready to accept me, the only reason I stay in this hellhole is because I enjoy the spring in Seoul. But imagine the loss of pride that SNU will experience once Jeon Jungkook leaves the establishment,”
Jungkook walked across the campus cafeteria as he tried to find his lighter in his pocket, fiddling with his cigarette in his other hand. “Are you seriously going to leave?” Jimin runned after him, struggling with his lab coat, “what will you get out of this? Just write the goddamn apology,”
Jungkook decided to settle on a table where three rowdy boys sat, flexing their muscles, but as they saw Jungkook approaching, they simply muttered apologies before scattering away, leaving the table.
Jimin-ah,” Jungkook smiled as he puffed his cigarette, “there’s nothing for me here, besides, I was planning to move to the US, anyways,”
“And leave me and Tae here? Wow, you’re such a considerate friend, you know,” Jungkook saw Jimin pout, and smiled.
It was really a miracle that he made his first two friends ever while his second year, here at SNU. Jimin loved pets, and was practicing to become a vet, while Taehyung was – kind of – crazy, and even scared Jungkook the first time he met him. He’s pretty sure Tae would’ve set the lab on fire if Jungkook hadn’t studied chemical properties before his class. At first, he hated it when both of them would tag along, following him to lunch, inviting themselves into his mansion, and forcing him to go to the arcade with them – but soon, he had learned to love being around them.
While looking around for Tae, so he could finally break the news of him leaving, his eyes landed on your figure. Now, Jungkook had never believed in love at first sight. Hell, he didn’t even believe in love, so, love at first sight seemed a little – well, impossible. But here you were, the reason why Jungkook felt like his heart was going to come out of his ribcage, it felt as if Jungkook had been struck by cupid, because the way you looked so adorable in your pink dress had left Jungkook feeling giddy. Seoul had a lot of pretty girls, he saw them every day, some of them even deserved to be on the cover of Vogue – but you, you were different, Something about you, your vibe, your pink cheeks and eyes that curled up when you smiled, something about you was difference.
Jungkook looked down at his letter of quitting, and simply tore it down when saw your figure leave the cafeteria.
“I can’t believe this, you see one of the first years, and suddenly, you want to stay?” Jimin shouts and slams his fat book on the table, muttering curse words.
Intimidating the first years – ragging, as they called it – had always been Jungkook’s favourite thing to do. Every year he’d either make them do ridiculous tasks, like eating a living goldfish, or running around the block naked. However, this time, it was different.
He made sure he entered the class taught by the foreign professor, so he could sneak in a couple of threats without making too much of a scene in front of the directors. As he excused himself in the full class, he couldn’t help but be glad that he looked quite… intimidating today. Everyone was already, well, scared of him, but his leather jacket, motorbike, and bandages on his fingers (which are actually there because he hurt his fingers by writing too much – not from the constant fights that people think he’s immersed into), they just add to his picture.
“There’s a medical camp soon for freshmen, so I would like to make an announcement,” Jungkook smiles, but everyone can sense the chilly aura underneath that smile, “I would also like to speak in Korean, since they’re mostly fluent in it,”
“Yes, Mr. Jeon, you may continue,” the British Professor smiles back – she can’t deny him, he’s her co-worker now, after all.
“Listen to me carefully,” Jungkook lets his tongue poke his inner cheek, as he brushes back his – way too long – hair, “I’m not going to repeat this in English, and that dumbass shouldn’t get a clue of what I’m saying,” he says as he nods politely at the professor on the slightly lifted stage. Once he confirms that she can’t understand a word, he turns her back towards her, and walks across the class, staring at everyone with a predatory look in his dark eyes.
“There’s a new girl, freshman, she’s mine. Other than her, you can woo any girl you like, but if I even so catch anyone staring at her, let alone trying to get on those cute study dates, or pretending to be in the same hobbies as her,” he looks across the stadium, “you’ll end up in bandages. With a failing grade in my class.”
Jungkook can’t help but present a fake smile, “don’t look so scared, idiots, you don’t want her,” he nods off to the professor, “to think I’m saying something wrong,”
“Why does it sound like a threat?” A nameless teenager from the back speaks up, which makes Jungkook’s smile slide off faster than sound travels.
“I’m not threatening you. I’m warning you. Besides, don’t even try to outsmart me, don’t worry new girls come in every year, you’ll have your chances. Now don’t sulk, or look suspicious. Circulate this message around, I don’t have enough time to go to every single unit,” he scans everyone’s face again, making sure they digested his new given information.
Once he’s satisfied, he convert back to English, “Good luck with the camp, guys. Meet you in my class tomorrow,” and with one last threatening smile, he’s gone.
“What did he say? Why did it sound like a threat?” the teacher joked once Jungkook left, and the class couldn’t help but immediately deny the threatening tone. After all, no one wanted to face Jeon Jungkook’s wrath.
Your nervous jitters were still present, and you don’t want to admit, but you did tear up a little when you saw your parent’s car become smaller and smaller as it continued to drive down the road, till it finally is so far that you can’t even make it out with your eyes.
While most people had roommates of their own year, you were stuck with a sophomore and you didn’t exactly know whether that was a good thing, or a bad one. She had made very clear about what side of room was hers, and why it was hers, and how you’re not even allowed to get onto her side – and that did make you a little annoyed, because how could someone be so pretentious, but throughout the span of three days, the pretentious-ness was definitely wearing out. She’d cook dinner for you every day, because you didn’t have a rice cooker and she did (which, you really needed to invest in a rice cooker because you can pretty much cook anything in that fucker), and she was amazing at giving advice for every single teacher out there. You still had to get used to her high use of curse words, but it’s just what made her, her.
“Oh damn, you got the worst professors out there, bro you better goddamn pull your socks up, otherwise things aren’t gonna look pretty this semester,” you heard her chuckle, as she sits on her bed with one leg on top of the other.
“Why? Who’s so bad?”
Fucking hell. You already had had enough of bad teachers, it’s almost like you were cursed because your high school teachers were literally out to get you – but you guess it was a blessing in disguise because that just made you work even harder (just to spite them, hah), and you somehow ended up here, at SNU, one of the most prestigious colleges in Korea.
“It’s actually not all that bad, you got Mr. Lee for microbiology. He isn’t all that bad, but just don’t sit in the front row unless you want spit on your face every time he talks. I swear it’s like he had a motherfucking fountain in his mouth. Also, he loves it when you submit your papers with a perfect format, so do that whenever you give his weekly assignments,” She says, all while applying on a red blood coloured nail polish.
You study your schedule once again, “What about Mr. Kang?”
“No fucking absolute way! You got Mr. Kang? Bitch, seems like the universe is tryna fuck you over,” she says, and then mumbles a curse when some of the rid pigment ends up on her skin.
“Is he bad? Strict?” you can’t help but already be scared of the semester, and it hasn’t even started yet.
“He’s the most pretentious fucker you’ll ever meet, he just thinks he’s the best professor because he graduated from Oxford. Big woo, motherfucker. Half of his class fails pretty much, the only two people to walk out of his class with an A* grade were this kid named Baek-woo or something, and of course, Jeon Jungkook,”
Jeon Jungkook. You swear you’ve seen that name before. Oh wait, ohhh, he was your biochemistry professor.
“Jeon Jungkook? He’s also a professor?” you look at your perfectly squared schedule, and you have his classes thrice a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
“You got him?”
“Yeah,”
“Don’t know if I should call you lucky or not, because I have no clue what he teaches like. All I know is he’s fucking crazy good at everything, and that he’s super-hot. Not that he’s really interested in any girls, also I personally think he’s mental or something,” your roommate had finally finished painting her feet, and was now letting them sway in the air, and dry.
She spent the next hour talking about Jungko- Professor Jeon was basically a murder, a thug, a gang member or whatever even. You just laughed at the thought of it all.
First day, and you’re more nervous than you intended to be. It wasn’t going well, at all. You had decided to look chic today, with your new (way too expensive) designer blazer, and your nude high heels, but here you were, sitting in the fourth row, wearing a red polka dress that made you look like a freshman. A high school freshman, not a college freshman.
You cursed yourself for buying a fake version of the nude heels (also, you could feel a tear forming in your eyes when you saw the heel broken, when you finally unpacked your belongings, but you sucked it right back in), you also wished your roommate was dead, because now you were sitting on your bed with a coffee stain on your blazer (no amounts of sorry could fix this disaster).
Also, you couldn’t help but notice an ungodly amount of stares thrown at you – not from hate, but just from sheer curiosity, and you were just so self-conscious because of it all, that you slipped from the last few stairs down the hostel causing your bare knees to get the nastiest scrape. Fuck, that’s going to hurt.
So when you finally settled in your Biochemistry class, you couldn’t help but well, be scared. There were rumours of Jeon Jungkook, your new teacher to be. Rumours that he used to be in a gang and dealt with drugs, and underground fights. There was a rumour that he once put a room to fire, killing almost 50 people. Also, that one time when he came to school with bandages on his hands – probably because he punched people to death, or hospitalizing them. There are rumours about him running over people on his motorcycle as well, and you can’t help but be extra conscious about this class, in fact you wouldn’t even have opt for it in the first place if you knew that Jeon Jungkook was the one teaching it. But, even since you’ve transferred, you’ve just told yourself that these were just rumours, and not everything is the truth.
Till now. He entered the class, probably not following the teacher’s dress code – you were pretty positive that leather jackets and ripped jeans weren’t exactly allowed, but he just looked so hot good, that you could let it slide. His stare lingered on you for quite a while, and you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat, avoiding eye contact.
“You, in the fourth row,”
You could see him pointing at you, but you just internally wished that it wasn’t actually, well you, that he was calling. Looking around, you see several other people in your row, maybe he was pointing towards the girl on your left that looked way more presentable than you. Or maybe it was the boy on your left with glasses way too big for his face.
“You, in the red polka dot dress, come here,” Professor Jeon looked at you, and smiled? Why would he smile when he looked at you?
(You also quickly dismissed the thought that he has the cutest bunny smile you’ve ever seen, where his eyes crinkle slightly, and his cheeks bunch up – because that’s just inappropriate, even though the age gap isn’t that big.)
He quickly examines your knees, and you swear you see a flash of surprise (and worry?), and before you can register what is going on, he kneels down in front of you, and clicks his tongue, as if wanting to scold you.
“Sit here, in the front row where I can see you,” he says, after a few seconds of inspecting your new injury, and as you adjust yourself, you can’t help but be uncomfortable from the gazes of your classmates that disappear as soon as Professor Jeon starts teaching. Getting into SNU was a nightmare, and you weren’t going to let yourself fail any classes, but instead of listening to what Jungkook was teaching – which but the way, he taught way better than any of the other staff there. But his stare. His stare was terrifying.
His aura was definitely dangerous, and red sirens were bursting in your head, telling you to keep your distance from him. His deathly stare seemed anything but inviting, and when the boy to your right asked you about the syllabus, you couldn’t help but shiver under Jungkook’s Professor Jeon’s glare. He spent the next ten minutes shouting at the poor boy, who looked as if he was about to faint any second now. Scary.
Ever since, you’ve been avoiding any contact with him, even purposely ignoring him when he asked you what happened to your knee. (You tell yourself that his sad puppy face doesn’t bother you but in reality, it breaks your heart, and every time you try to sleep, it haunts you. (You then remind yourself about the numerous rumours he’s into, and the last thing you want to get in between is drama and romance)).
The first time Jungkook heard your name was through Taehyung (no, he wasn’t jealous that Tae knew your name before him, but he couldn’t help but want to reverse back time, just so he could learn your name before Taehyung did. Why did Tae know your name before he did?), and your name was on his tongue the entire day. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, all he could think about was how your hair would feel when he would brush his fingers through it, how your hand would fit into his, how you would look in his oversized t-shirts. (Occasionally, he would also think how you would look, laying on his bed, underneath him – but the sheer thought of it gets him hot and bothered and what not, and he doesn't have the time to be fooling around, that too, with a student).
So when he saw you sitting with one hand on top of the other, in his class, he couldn’t help the smile when his eyes landed on you, you just looked so, so adorable in your little dress. The thought of you being away from him, just killed him inside so he had to ask you to sit in the front row, where he could look at you as much as he wants to, all while teaching his class. Of course, he saw red in his eyes when he saw your knees tainted with blood, and all he wanted was to wrap a bandage on it, he couldn’t bear to look at you, sitting in pain – but for once in his life, he was considerate and thought that you might not want the uninvited attention.
That consideration came to bite him in the ass, because you left before you could hear him, and as he saw you blend into the crowd, he couldn’t help but curse under his breath and want to punch the next person he sees.
There’s a lot that Jungkook changes throughout the first week of classes, he attaches a second seat to the end of his motorbike (because when you both start dating, he’ll have to take you around), and even cuts his long hair – in case you don’t like it, it could grow back anyways. He always has a packet of your favourite chocolate in the left pocket of his bag (no, he didn’t threaten the guy at the nearest 7/11 to tell him the candy you’ve been buying lately (he also denies the fact that he bought three plushies for you, that are currently sitting on his side table (the white rabbit with red cheeks reminds him a lot of you))). He can’t, but he tries to smoke way less, tries to buy less cigarettes, tries to chew gum instead, or drink more water. And he would never admit it, but he took a photo of your student profile, and set it as his wallpaper. Jimin and Taehyung exchange a couple of looks after discovering this fact, but don't say anything about it - none of their business, right?
Being an undergrad professor also has it’s perks, he can look at all your records, and well, currently, you’re failing Mr. Kang’s class – anatomy 101. Finally, a fucking excuse to talk to you, because the way you basically run after his class ends makes him think you’re avoiding him? But you wouldn’t do that to him… right?
Because of you, Jungkook has been rocking some Massive dark circles (with a capital M, because boy, they are blue and way too dark in comparison to his actual skin tone), the only reason being your existence and all he does is Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, while tossing in his bed at 3AM, thinking of how you smiled when he tried to crack a joke in the class, thinking of your pushing his fingers through your hair, thinking of how you fumbled with your thumbs before mumbling your answer to his sudden question.
“So, Y/N, what do you think out of all these,” he motions towards the options, “does not act as a restriction enzyme?”
He just wanted to coo over how your thumbs fought with each other, as you tried (key word, tried), to answer his really easy question. (It actually wasn’t even that easy, you were just too scared to get anything below a B in Professor Jeon’s class, so you ended up studying two chapters ahead of your syllabus – despite his fast pace). So, you knew the answer was Polydeoxtribonucleotide synthase, but for the love of god, you just couldn’t pronounce that word.
“It’s, uh, polydetr-,” you swear your breath was knocked out when he started walking towards you, oh God, why was he walking towards you?
“Yes, continue,” he smiles while standing, literally right in front of you. How does he expect you to answer when he’s looking at you as if you have all the answers of the universe. As if you were, I don’t know, Aphrodite or something.
“Uh, it’s the option D,”
“And that is?”
That motherfucker. He knew you couldn’t pronounce it.
“Polydo-“ you were positive that at this point you weren’t even breathing.
“Hey, just take a deep breath and try again,” He said, while taking your left hand in his own, and massaged it. You were positive everyone in the lab was looking at you, but their stares didn’t even compare to your hot teacher’s burning gaze.
“Poly-deo-,” you take a breath in,”x-tribo-nucleotide synthase,”
“That’s right, the answer is Polydeoxtribonucleotide synthase,” Jungkook says without having any trouble with the word, and before he gets away from you, he smiles in your direction, and says, “Good girl,”
You’re left to yourself wondering if this is a dream or if that just happened.
Jungkook’s day was going just terrible. His landlord had to be the cheapest bastard he knows, who just wouldn’t fix the water system, so for a week he was basically stuck with showering with ice cold water. On top of that, he was wearing a bruise on the left side of his face, it was all red and blue because last night he was too drunk to notice his book shelf that he installed last week.
He was supposed to be in the cafeteria right now, because at approximately 1:30 PM, your stupid microbiology class ended, and you headed straight to lunch after that, before your anatomy class. It had been, well give or take, around two weeks since the semester started, and he thought he would get over you soon, but you were just so goddamn adorable, and cute, and all Jungkook ever wanted was to squish your cheeks and press your body closer to his.
He finally reached the bustling cafeteria, ugh, he absolutely hated the noise there – so he never really ate there, preferring the quite café around the corner, but he knew you were on some sort of dumb student meal plan that only profits the university, and not actually you.
He’s expecting to find you sitting with your laptop (with a red smiley star sticker on the top right, which is just goddamn adorable (and no, that definitely isn’t the reason why Jungkook too, has a red smiley star sticker on his laptop now)). But you’re there, with some random ugly boy’s arm sprawled over your shoulder, as you giggle repeatedly at his bad jokes.
He sits on the table on your right and loudly slams his old anatomy book, before taking a seat. Here he was, all prepared with notes on what you were failing, all ready to teach you what you didn’t understand, spending all night making flashcards (he also ripped that one flashcard where on one side he wrote, “Will you go out with me?” and the other side blank, so you could write your response. He argues with himself that it wasn’t because he was shy or scared you’d say no – it was because it’s too cheesy).
His blood just boils when he sees you not removing – he finds out the boy’s name is Kim Seokjin – his ugly hand from your own, and just gets up and walks away after you giggle for the nth time on his not even funny jokes.
(Later that night, Jungkook tells himself he’s way better than that Seokjin bastard, even if Seokjin’s skin is flawless, and even if he has a handsome smile, and even if he can cook, and even if he can make you smile. Jungkook couldn’t have flawless hands because of all the callouses he has from writing too much, and his bruises might take a while to heal (he even puts an icepack on them now), and he could learn how to cook something other than instant noodles, and he could learn some jokes from the internet. He could be better than Seokjin, he would be better than anyone for you).
You love the feeling when things go perfect, and today was just so perfect. You fried an egg, all round a perfect circle and the yolk didn’t even break – which it always does when you flip it. Then, you sharpened a pencil and somehow the nib came out more than perfect, which made you all giggly and what not. Everyone in your friends circle at this point knew that you were the biggest hoe for cute stationery. Then, your anatomy class got cancelled and you were just so happy, and you even made a new friend today, Kim Seokjin.
You were a little uncomfortable when he smoothly glided his right arm over your shoulder, but he was just so funny, and he bought you the special menu items today – so you couldn’t even complain. After all, you really looked at him as a big brother because all he talked about was how his roommate was a complete asshole.
(“I told him to get me some water – which he should, because I’m older than him, and he should totally respect me,” he says, with an exaggerated and exasperated sigh.
“And he did what?”
“He brought a glass full of ice and told me to wait,”)
The one thing that you were, in fact really over thinking was about that one professor of yours. Jeon Jungkook. As you let the water cascade down your body in the tiny (really tiny) cubicle of the washroom that you shared with your roommate, Hye-jin.
“I noticed Kook looking at you in the cafeteria that day, y’know the whole campus is talking about it,”
“Uh, yeah, it’s kind of hard not to notice,”
“I’m guessing you don’t know about the whole speech he gave in that one class at the start of the semester?”
Jungkook doesn’t really believes in love at first sight, but after stalking you on social media, he knew he was a goner for you. (Especially after that one video of yours where you’re trying to pet a dog, but the dog runs away, and you end up pouting at the camera. (Yes, he screen recorded the video and watched it a billion times before sleeping)).
He has never had the urge to protect someone other than himself, and maybe his friends. But you, it was different with you – he doesn’t know if it was the small chub in your cheeks, or the way your ears would turn red when he would ask you something, or the way you would walk, or the way you slapped your thigh when you laughed, or the aroma of your citrus shampoo when you would walk past him, or your habit of getting coming down to the convenience store to grab ramen every Thursday night at 10 PM.
He doesn’t know it, but he knows he’s meant to love you, meant to keep you in his life, meant to be yours, and meant to make you his.
He has endured, yet another week where he hasn’t talked to you – and not gonna lie, it’s actually driving him crazy. Every day he sees you talking to Seokjin and laughing with others, while he sits and does nothing other than gawk at you.
During class, while he did occasionally glance your way, he still has 73 students to teach, and this being his first year as a teacher, he can’t afford any sort of mishaps at all.
But every man on this Earth has their limits. And Jungkook’s limit was watching Seokjin kiss your cheek. While you did (playfully) punch him on the shoulder, and you did shout out ‘Gross!’, Jungkook was sure that you definitely didn’t mean that punch, and you definitely didn’t think he was gross.
Did you think that Jungkook was gross? Why didn’t you ever visit him during office hours? Because every single girl in his class was sure to meet him for some dumb question, or to ask for extra credit. But you didn’t. Did you like Seokjin? Did you like someone else?
The next time he sees you is on Friday, during his class and he just knows, he knows he can’t go through today without talking to you, and the only way to do that is to-
“Y/N, could you stay after class, please?” he says, without even giving you a glance.
You mutter a silent yes, and keep your head down for the rest of the class, trying your best to ignore the mumbles of the class, talking about you and why you get to be treated different from others.
“You wanted to talk to me?” you say as you walk around the long table, running your fingers along the marble shelf.
“Do you wanna go out with me?”
What. What the heck?
You chuckle, thinking it’s some sort of sick prank he’s playing, you wait for him to say ‘Sike!’ but it never comes. Then you think that maybe, just maybe he does actually want to take you out? No. No way, he probably just wants to get alone with you in an alley, where he would kill you – or even worse, sell you off.
“No, thank you. If that’s all, am I allowed to go?” you say all this, in the smallest, most polite voice possible, after all the last thing you wanted was to piss off your professor. (who might be in a gang, who knows at this point?)
“What? Why?” he says, almost panicked, and you hear a shuffle of items as he makes his way to you, trying to watch you before you leave again. He sees your face morphed into an expression of extreme boredom. Fuck, he had to do something, quick.
“Not to be rude, but Professor, I just don’t think it’s right – or even allowed for us to date,” you say, trying your best not to look at him, shuffling your bag on your shoulder, because fuck, he looked so sad – his eyes almost looked glassy, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“You don’t have to date Professor Jeon, you can just date me as the graduate student here. I’m, still a student here, Y/N,”
“And? You’re also like four years older than me,”
“Three years,” he says, pouting. Ugh, he’s so cute.
“That doesn’t make it any better,”
“It doesn’t?” he sighs.
“No, I’m still your student, and you’re still my teacher,”
“Tell me, Y/N, did you take chemistry in high school?” he asks, while quickly walking to the back and mixing some chemicals that he definitely wasn’t supposed to touch without gloves on.
“Yes, why?”
“Well, I’m currently holding, uh it’s either Acetonitrile or Iodine mixed with Vitamin C,” he says, and you can see both the liquids, which he mixes together without a worry in the world.
“And? Professor Jeon, what are you going to do?” you walk over to him, slower than ever, taking one step at a time.
‘Please, call me Jungkook. Or Kook, if you feel like it,” he gives you one of his signature smiles, that you should be used to by now – but you just get flustered every time.
“Now, will you go out with me?” he asks again, this time in a much more hopeful tone.
“No,” you say, drawing out the ‘o’, when will get the clue?
“Fine, I guess I’ll just drink this,” he looks at the two glass beakers in his hands, and pours the both of them into a much bigger glass container, “and die,”
You scoff, thinking he’s bluffing, “Yeah, yeah, go on,”
Of course, he’s bluffing because there is no absolute way that he’ll be mad enough to drink goddamn Acetonitrile, unless he wants his cardiovascular system, central nervous system, liver and kidneys to, I don’t know, stop working.
“I’ll ask this again, Y/N, just one date, will you go out with me?” he says, while picking up the glass container, closer to his face, and you actually want to play this game till the end. No way is he going to drink this.
“No,”
“Okay then,” he puts his lips on the container, and by now, you’ve actually started to get a bit scared. What if he does it? What if this crazy idiot actually drinks the fatal formula?
And then it happens. He drinks it. He fucking drinks it.
“What the fuck? Jungkook!”
“I’ll ask you again, will you go out with me?” he says after taking the biggest gulp ever. Is this his way of attempting suicide?
“Yes! Yes, oh god, I’ll go out with you!”
“Don’t say it like you’re doing me a favour,” he says, attempting to take another sip of the deadly liquid.
“No! I- Can you stop doing that? Stop drinking it! I’ll go out with you. In fact, I want to go out with you! Really!” you shout, trying to take the container away from him, scared shitless.
“Fuck, do I call 911?” you say, as you attempt to take your phone out of your 110 pound heavy bag. Then you hear him chuckle and throw away the remaining odourless, colourless solution.
“Relax, it was just water, I was just trying to scare you, but hey! You’ve agreed to a date with me, so it’s a win-win isn’t it?” Jungkook smiles sloppily, perching his elbow up on the table and letting his chin rest in his palm.
You can’t believe him. You really can’t.
You pretend to pick something up from the floor, “Professor, it seems you dropped something on the floor,”
“What?” he tries to look at your hand, to see what’s there, and just as you get his attention, you smack him across the face.
“Your common sense, you moron! What the hell were you thinking? Even if that was water, this could have traces of some really harmful chemicals and you ought to know better because you’re a goddamn teacher how could you be so careless you could have actually died-”
“But I didn’t, and now you’re going out with me,”
You can’t help the smile that creeps on your face, as your eyes glass up. You really had thought that he was going to die, or at the very least – harm himself severely.
“You’re so dumb, Jeon,” you say as you punch him, trying to suck your tears right back in – but they weren’t co-operating at all, and you let them fall down across your cheeks, causing Jungkook’s, breath to hitch up as soon as he sees them.
“Wait, wait, wait, are you crying? No, please don’t cry! Oh no, oh, I didn’t mean to… I was trying to make you laugh…” Jungkook says as his heart runs at 850 BMP a minute, trying to caress your face, trying to stop the tears from filling your eyes.
“What kind of sick-o would laugh at their professor dying? Are you mental?” you choke out, while trying your god-darn best to stop crying, because he was very much alive and right in front of you.
“I’m sorry, oh god, what should I do? What do girls like?” Jungkook was absolutely mortified. The first time he has ever talked to you – and he manages to make you cry. He totally royally fucked up. Big time.
He almost googled, ‘how to stop girl from crying’ and reading the wiki-how page, but decided against it, and hugged you – because that’s what his therapist told him to do when he hurts his loved ones. He would never – it wasn’t in him to physically ever hurt you. He couldn’t even bear the thought of that ever, and so when he did hug you, your sobbing decreased by a lot, and he felt much much better. Also, after holding you in his embrace, he realized how much he needed you to be next to him – to say Jungkook was touch starved is an extreme understatement, he loved the way he could you fit under him, the way your hair had a citrusy aroma, the way your arms hugged him back, it was comfortable. And Jungkook was positive that he could stay like this forever – if needed to.
You didn’t realize when he hugged you, but when he did, you were finally over the shock of thinking your crazy, dumb and hot professor had actually had some water instead of some deadly chemicals – and you weren’t the cause of his death. You wanted to hate him, but how could you? How could you just judge him upon some rumours that were just there to fit in the pieces of his live that he wouldn’t let other people know?
“I- I have a faculty meeting in five minutes,” you hear him speak, the vibration passing through his body – shaking you with it.
You clear your throat before letting go, and can’t help but feel the embarrassment rise out of you, in the form of red cheeks. You keep your head down, as he walks out the door of the lab, leaving you behind – but right before he leaves, he reminds you of your current situation, “Can’t wait for our date, sweets!”
Asshole.
From Unknown Number
[1:38 AM]
Y/N-ieeee
r u sleeping
this is kook btw
To Prof JK
[1:40 AM]
how did u get my num??????
also do u not THINK before assigning all this hw :(
From Prof JK
[1:41 AM]
u should be sleeping rn bby
all i assigned was some reading???? and some worksheets????
is it too much????
im so sry
To Prof JK
[1:50 AM]
well i do have a life outside of hw yknow
also im a huge procrastinator lmao
From Prof JK
[1:51 AM]
:( why r u taking so long to reply
r u busy
r u sleepy
also what life???? i’ve only ever seen u either at the library or the internet café down the street
whats my name saved in ur conatcts ;)))))
i saved urs as princess <3
To Prof JK
[1:54 AM]
it’s prof jk
From Prof JK
[1:55 AM]
thats boring :( im ur future bf now
also wanted to remind u the date is tomo so be ready
You don’t think before you change his name to Kook ‘Jungkook’.
To Jungkook
[1:57 AM]
oh yea how could i forget the fact that u tried to fake poison urself
also what?? date???
From Jungkook
[1:58 AM]
first of all, im so sry abt that i’ll buy u ur fav chocos
second of all, BRO
U LITERALLY SWORE U WOULD GO ON A DATE WIT ME
U PROMISED ME
To Jungkook
[2:01 AM]
i guess i changed my mind lololol
From Jungkook
[2:02 AM]
y????
look i know its weird some nuts prof asks u to go on a date with him
i know u don’t know me
but i know me
and i know i would do anything 4 u
i’ll be anything u want me to be
i can be smart
i can be funny too
i can try to cook for u maybe???? some pasta???
i could dance 4 u?????
To Jungkook
[2:06 AM]
dance????
no offense prof, but u seem so stiff
no way u can dance
From Jungkook
[2:08 AM]
is that a challenge…???
just tell me what u want and i’ll be that for u
To Jungkook
[2:09 AM]
u r dumb
From Jungkook
[2:10 AM]
i could be that
if u want me to be
come on, just ONE date i promise i’ll leave u alone after that if u don’t like it
To Jungkook
[2:13 AM]
mm… sis i guess u should start to figure something out then
bcz this aint good enough
see ya
From Jungkook
[2:14 AM]
ugh i cant force but :( pls?
istg itll be the best day of ur life
To Jungkook
[2:15 AM]
yea ok whatever u say im not going anywhere with u
night
From Jungkook
[2:16 AM]
goodnight!!!!!!
Don’t think too mucb about me
much*
To Jungkook
[2:18 AM]
In ur dreams
From Jungkook
[2:32 AM]
oh u do come in my dreams ;))
✓ Seen by princess <3
The next couple of days, you get some… gifts from a not so secret admirer. And you definitely didn’t change him name from ‘Prof Jeon’, to ‘Jungkook,’ to ‘Jungkookie <3’ in the span of 11 days. (And you most definitely didn’t feel giddy from inside every time you received a notification that read, ‘One New Message from Jungkookie <3’.
“You’re not very subtle, Professor Jeon,” you stay around after his class, watching him put away his books in is leather back. You can tell he was surprised by your action of staying back, but you had to put a stop to what was happening.
The next morning after he texted you for the first time, you had a Huge – with a capital H – bouquet of red roses, and you’ll admit you teared up a bit after looking at it, after all it was your first time receiving flowers from a boy (or man? (a man that was actual eye candy, but you’ll never admit that)).
Two days later,
From Jungkookie <3
[1:53 AM]
look outside
To Jungkookie <3
[1:54 AM]
dont tell me u r outside dumbass its like 2am
Lo and behold, Jungkook’s standing in the middle of the road, holding a single red rose and smiling. There’s a stark difference between his current self, and his demeanour during class – now the moonlight hits his unmade fluffy hair and cheeks, making him look years younger than he is. You can’t help but shout, ‘You idiot! You’ll catch a cold!’ while probably waking up several angry sleep deprived students in the process, but you can’t help but laugh at the way he dances for you. On this cold, lonely night, he brought you the warmth you didn’t know you needed.
It seemed that after that, Jungkook and you were the talk of the town, people would wait for both of you to get together, place bets on when you would finally say yes to him. On the other hand, you received candies from him, you had access to the teacher’s lounge coffee (which was honestly a huge plus point, now you could save five dollars on watery coffee, and have some actual caffeine), and he had pre-paid the 7/11 dude $500 in cash, so he wouldn’t even accept your payments now. The one thing that you actually appreciated him the most for was that he made you flashcards for Mr. Kang’s class (which you were failing, real bad), and while it wasn’t much, you still bumped you ‘F’ to a ‘D’, that just remained the highlight of your goddamn month.
To Jungkookie <3
[2:08 PM]
JUST GOT MY TEST BACK AND GUESS WHAT BITCH
From Jungkookie <3
[2:09 PM]
hi baby girl
:( i’ve noticed u r cursing a lot nowadays
To Jungkookie <3
[2:11 PM]
i’ve noticed u calling me baby lately but u don't see me whining so stfu
ALSO I DIDN’T FAIL
i mean i still kinda failed but it’s not a F
From Jungkookie <3
[2:13 PM]
im so proud of u, u r so so so smart
:( i wonder if u would let me teach u maybe???? tutor u???
✓ Seen 2:15 PM by princess <3
One of his much, much grander displays of affections was, well, kind of weird, he bought you a penguin. You were a proud, and extremely happy mother of a cute penguin named Otis.
From Jungkook <3
[9:07 AM]
ok but what would u want as a pet
To Jungkook <3
[10:38 AM]
penguin!!!!
You knew it must’ve cost him a fortune, and his job as a professor must not be enough, but you had always dreamed of being able to hold the certificate of your baby, and be able to monitor it, and be able to be the one to feed it (well, not literally). And he had to pay for his own grad school fees, which must be a total nightmare on its own – here you were, in his class, waiting for him to pack up so you could maybe pay him back a little?
By no means could you afford a $3000 penguin, but you could maybe ask him if there’s something you could do?
“So, Prof, how would you like me to re-pay you?” you honestly half expected a sex joke on his part – maybe because he looks like a fuckboy on steroids and snorts a lot of protein powder before hitting the gym.
“Um, maybe a hug?”
Oh. Ohhhh. Oh. Unexpected. Okay. Calm yourself down.
“A hug?” you tried not to look at his face, because you knew if you did, it would be hard, way too hard to be able to resist him. You knew he was all dangerous, and bad boy and what not – but, this man, the one with the bunny smile and the fluffy hair, and the one who smelled more like freshly baked bread rather than the axe cologne spray you had imagine, he wasn’t a gang member or a delinquent. He was simply asking for love.
“Why a hug?”
“Just… never really hugged anyone properly,” Jungkook knew he wasn’t asking for much. He could’ve asked for a date, or a kiss, or just anything, but all he wanted was to hold you.
It had been a hard week for him. Being a grad student wasn’t easy no matter how many hours of study you pull in, and no matter how much knowledge you attained – while he was way better off than his peers – he knew he couldn’t afford the failure – he was just starting to feel less and less like a human, and more like a robot. Also, it wasn’t easy to be an undergraduate professor – in fact, it was fucking hell. Your peers, and the entire fucking batch was just so hopelessly dumb – he doesn’t want to admit but he even cringes at some of the mistakes you made (who mixes up chemicals! They’re the most difficult to mess up!) and he hated it when he would just have to give you a ‘C,’ instead of the ‘A,’ you actually deserved (because you’re so smart and he can see it! But you’re also so stubborn, sigh).
Lately, it seems like without his therapist, life just seemed more difficult. When he looks at the broken pencils, the pieces of wood sitting on his table, the teared up paper, and the headache he was constantly in – he’s taken back to the 12 year old Jungkook who couldn’t control his hands, who did nothing but hurt those around him. He looks at his hands, he hates them, they hurt people without his permission.
Sometimes, he would cry, because why couldn’t he simply control himself? Why did his anger, the red in his eyes, the strength of his arm always win over his subconscious and ability to think correct? Why couldn’t he simply re-do a question he got wrong instead of breaking pencils and tearing up everything apart? Why were there numerous holes in the wall covered by posters? Why did this animalistic rage always win over him? Why him?
Jungkook spends the night dreaming of actually being able to help patients, and operating instead of simply… being useless.
So, in that moment, he just wanted comfort. Simple as that. He doesn’t recall anyone ever hugging him in his life, maybe half sided hugs from coaches and professor, or the ones that Tae forces onto him, but other than that, Jungkook has never had an interest in physical contact with people – always thinking it was way showing vulnerability, but with you, he just wanted to be normal.
He didn’t want you to know him as the weird, crazy idiot with anger management issues, or the druggie who smokes weed 24/7, he just wanted you to know him as the real Jungkook he is. The real Jungkook who has iron man socks, and has a fear of microwaves.
So when you do hug him, and feel his arms by your side, and you can’t help but want to stay this way. Surprisingly, it isn’t you who breaks the hug, and you actually want more of it, more of that soft feel of his black shirt against your cheek, more of his hard arms closing you in, more of his warmth.
You clear your throat, and… you don’t know what to do.
“So, um, thanks y’know f-for Otis. You really didn’t have to, I mean I appreciate it I really do, it was more than anything anyone’s every done for me y’know? So like, um, yeah, I uh-“ you mentally curse yourself, just stop speaking already.
“You named it Otis? That’s such a basic penguin name,” Jungkook chuckles, hoping to make you even slightly mad, and the fact that you looked at him with an expression of shock and anger just added to his satisfaction.
Just like that, the awkward layer in the air no longer lingers, and settles to soft banter, something you enjoyed.
“Excuse me? It’s like, the cutest name ever, and whoever thinks against that is a total meathe-“
“I’ve never seen someone be angry and look adorable at the same time,”
“Well, mama didn’t raise no bitch, I will adorably kick your ass, Jungkook,”
“On a first name basis now? Guess I’m making progress,”
“I hate you so much,”
And now twelve minutes and seventeen seconds later, here you both were, sitting on the bench outside the local 7/11, sharing an egg and ham sandwich.
By no means did Jungkook ever mean to have his first lunch with you like this, he had planned it all out, first date, 100 day anniversary, his first ‘I love you,’ speech, the gift for your birthday in January – he didn’t expect to sit on the side of the road at the old, rusty (and really uncomfortable) bench, eating a one dollar sandwich.
You make fun of Jungkook after his high five got rejected by a passing by 5 year old-ish kid with his mom.
“He hates me,” Jungkook pouts and looks at his left hand with such sorrow and anguish that you can’t help but let the laughter bubbling in your throat let out.
“He was like 5,”
“Still, he totally ignored me as if I didn’t exist,”
You don’t even realise three hours pass by, as both, you and Jungkook (two nerds united together), talk about politics, how absolutely terrible Mr. Kang is (you laughed for three solid minutes after Jungkook tried to mimic his sneer), he basically forces you to let him tutor you in anatomy, because he just can’t see you not get an A next time (you scoff and act as if you’re doing him a favour by saying yes, while from inside you screaming happily only because now your grades will be much, much higher – you’re definitely not happy because you’ll have to spend more time with the funny, cute, really nice and just overall hot guy that smells so good).
“Oh my God,” Jungkook says as he extends an arm and feels the light rain on his palm, “it’s probably going to rain soon,”
You don’t pay too much heed until 5 minutes later, it’s turns into an intense round of teardrops on the concrete under you, and you’re left to whine about how you’ll walk till your dorm – and there was no way you were going to get a taxi because you literally lived two streets away from the store.
“Let’s dance in the rain,” Jungkook runs into the narrow street, without a care in the world, and you’re left contemplating whether you should join him or not.
“I thought you were sort of mental, but now I’m fully sure your mom dropped you on the head when you were a baby,” you shout from the bench, hoping he can hear your voice despite the loud splat of each raindrop when it meets the ground.
“Join me,” he says as he tries to pull your hand lightly, hoping you would come on your own, and while you haven’t had fun in the rain since you were a child, you can’t help but want to relive the feeling of the cold water hitting you, not knowing where you end up at.
Jungkook ends up leading you, and you both end up doing a sloppy couple’s dance with his hands on your waist, and yours on his shoulders. You look into his eyes and see a childish charm, you see an affection and a purity in his smile, in the cute not so perfect teeth he possessed, and you can’t help but smile. You had never had things come to you, you were never used to this, never used you things happening to you, for you.
After a good fifteen minutes of fooling around, he ends up walking you back to the dorm – both of you a mess, with clothes clinging to your bodies, webbed fingers, wet hair and sore cheeks from smiling too much. Somehow, you didn’t want to be apart from the boy who waved you goodbye, and you don’t end up closing the door until he goes down the stairs and you can’t see his figure anymore.
To Jungkookie <3
[6:17 PM]
im gonna have to use an entire tub of conditioner to make my hair not feel like hay
PART TWO WILL COME OUT SOON XO (there will only be 3 parts).
also, just so everyone knows I absolutely adore jin, no bashing towards him, as once @kpopyandere said, and I quote: For real the closest I’ve ever been to believing in god is seeing Kim seokjin’s face. Only something divine could’ve created that.
I absolutely loved writing this even though it seems like it’s all over the place kind of lol. Been super insecure of my writing lately 🥺❤️ give me validation 🤩 jk but do let me know if you liked something or if u liked something in particular or idk also lmao sry there's no smut ;))))) wait for part two
taglist: @blkjmn @patpus @vantedollz @letmebeyour-sun @zeharilisharaban @hpnjrph @livewittykid @yzkyzkuniverse @nochuactivate @international-kpopfan @gvksp4ce @girlontheblock @kisskoos @jeonkooksgirl @hytibm @jooniescupcakes @teresaisla @lurkerarmy
#bts#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x oc#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts scenario#bts imagine#bts imagines#bts reader insert#bts preference#jungkook scenario#jungkook reaction#jungkook fluff
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“Under an Autumn Moonlight” Part: 3 (Damirae fic)
Part #1
Part #2
Part #3
Raven let out a deep sigh as she exited her history lecture hall. Her mind should had been in class, but her mind she kept going back to the very uncomfortable lecture they received from their landlord outside their apartment building. Raven and Donna had returned to find their apartment building evacuated because their friend and roommate, Jinx, had started a small fire in their kitchen. Their landlord was furious with them all, this wasn’t the first time Jinx had endangered lives before. It was her third, and their landlord was running out of patience to let them continue renting the three-bedroom apartment. The only thing saving them from being evicted was that they were college students trying to get by and focusing on their degrees. Though Raven was certain with another ‘Jinx incident’ they be kicked out to the streets, for sure.
Their friend seemed to be a magnet that attracted misfortune wherever there was any electronic device. Nevertheless, they all cared for Jinx very much. Raven wouldn’t be true to herself if she didn’t feel a bit least upset for leaving Robin. She was starting to feel at ease with him and wanted to continue talking with him. It also seemed he wanted to talk about something more personal before she got the phone call from Jinx.
“I hope to see you again.”
Was the last thing Robin had said to her and in truth Raven wanted to see him too. She didn’t know how to though, it would look strange if she just showed up at the warehouse, besides she didn’t know when the band was there. Maybe if she could contact him directly? Robin was friends with Jon, maybe Raven could ask Jon for Robin’s number, but knowing Jon he would question her and then go gossip to Donna who would interrogate Raven on the matter. Raven didn’t even know what all this was, the only thing she was certain was she wanted to see him again and just talk.Right? That’s all she wanted nothing more.
Raven continue walking down the main walkway of the university going to her next class. Introduction to Astronomy. One of the class assignments she was looking forward to was going to an overnight camping trip to stargaze and map out constellations. Their professor also added that they could distinguish the planet Saturn from the stars because it was closer to Earth during the fall semester.
Raven could hardly wait and just stargaze to ger heart’s content. Since a child, Raven always liked looking up into the starry night sky and letting her worries be swept from her.
Raven didn’t have the best childhood; she lost her mother at very young age where her memories were blur glimpses. What always made her think of her mother was the smell of lavender. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could had sworn seeing her mother standing next to her crib and light a lavender scented candle, singing her a gentle lullaby. When her mother passed, she was left with a drunken father who wasn’t home at all doing who knows what. She was confided in that small apartment for eighteen years, the only times she was allowed outside was to go to school. During the day she was the good student, getting the highest remarks in every class, but when night came, she let herself cry out. One night she looked up to a full moon and imagined it was her mother’s way of lighting her dark world. Since then Raven found solace in the night sky.
When Raven graduated from high school, she left that small apartment and moved away with her only friend Donna Troy to Gotham City, for a new start. There they met Jinx, this made Raven feel she had someplace she could really call home and have a family. She entered the new school year without declaring a major, but knew she wanted to be surrounded by books. During her second year in the university, Raven was passing by a small vintage store and through the window saw a mother and her very young daughter look through a worn-out book. In that moment Raven imagined herself in the girl’s place and transformed the woman to what vague memory Raven had of Arella, her mother. That’s when Raven decided she would open her own bookstore, in memory of her mother, and help others find sanctuary.
Raven finally arrived at her astronomy classroom. She sat down in her usual lab table and took out her notebook and textbook. There were ten tables in total, separated in pairs to force students to work together. Though the seat next to Raven’s was always empty, which was weird there were exactly twenty seats and twenty students were enrolled. One student was never called for, yet the seat was taken since no one had dropped out. To act like she could rely one someone, Raven always placed her backpack on the empty seat, the bag was a trusted ally who always carried her things. The classroom was starting to fill as each student too their seat before the professor arrived.
Raven was looking over her notes from last class when she noticed someone out of the corner of her eye standing next to her table.
“Is this seat taken?”
Raven looked up and her gaze widen in shock. Standing before her dressed in designer clothes was none other than Damian Wayne. Like theson to Bruce Wayne and heir to run Wayne Enterprises. What was he doing here?
Raven managed to squeak out a no, and quickly as she could remove her backpack from the chair. Damian sat down, and took out a notebook, flipped through it till he found a clean page. He scribbled something on a corner and then very gracefully pulled out his textbook. This made no sense, Raven thought. Was he the one student that was enrolled and never show up? And why show up now of all times. They were halfway through the semester and come to think he wasn’t around for the midterm they had taken a few weeks ago.
She could feel the atmosphere change in the classroom as everyone stared at the young man next to her. Damian Wayne was someone who didn’t allow anyone get near him other than his family, in interviews and documentaries on his family’s company he was always seen to be at a distance from everyone. Raven wasn’t much for gossip, but all these were just rumors and online news articles she had heard from.
From the corner of her eye she saw Damian read over some notes, he looked so calm. Like he had no care in the world. Which was surprising given to the fact she caught some of her classmates taking pictures of him. Probably posting on their social media pages that the infamous Damian Wayne had graced their presence. Raven would lie to herself if she didn’t admit he was handsome. His olive skin looked almost that of a god of sun, his emerald eyes containing vivid green forests in them. Raven wasn’t staring she had seen countless pictures of him to study his features. The room went silent when Professor Charles, entered the classroom.
Professor Charles was in his late sixties, with a small rounded belly and fine gray hairs still trying to cover his baldness. He went straight to his desk, plugged in his flash drive into the classroom’s computer and turn on the projector. Someone who sat behind Raven, cleared their throat rather loudly making Professor Charles look up from the computer screen. He was about to address the student when his eyes caught something unusual. He removes his small round glasses, gave them a quick wipe, and placed them back on the brim of his nose.
“Ah. Mr. Wayne. Glad you could finally join us. I assume you will be with us till the remainder of the semester?”
“Yes. Professor.”
Raven tried so hard to pay attention she hadn’t been focused in her previous class but now this was ridiculous. Her mind kept screaming:
Ahh it THE Damian Wayne! Is he going to be OUR lab partner?
When did she revert back to a lovestruck teenager? He was just another classmate nothing more. Raven continue to try and focus on the lecture and take notes as the studious student she was. Her mind wondered again but thankfully this time it made her start doodling on the corner of notebook page. She was going to pay for it later, but Raven manage to write down some words she heard her professor say. Raven will have to go over one of her classmates notes after deciphering whatever her brain allowed her to retain. She allowed her hand to move to whatever direction it wanted, she wasn’t paying it no mind.
Raven stopped when she heard countless chairs screech, she looked up to find her classmates collecting their belongings and heading out the door. Raven shot a quick glance towards Professor Charles and he was erasing something he wrote on the white board. Panicked kicked in and Raven quickly wrote whatever was left of the assignment. Maybe she could ask someone for clarity on the homework through the class’ online portal? Feeling very disgruntle with herself, Raven started slamming her things into her backpack.
“A robin.”
Raven looked up to find Damian standing from his seat staring at her notebook. She then looked down and saw she had doodled a bird, though she wasn’t sure with herself if it was a robin. “I guess.”
“Your favorite bird?” he continued.
Damian was trying to make small talk. Why with her? “Not really, but birds are cool.” Brain stop talking. Raven was making a fool of herself; she flipped her notebook closed and slammed it into her backpack. Out the corner of her eye, Raven could still notice Damian just standing there. Was he waiting for a longer explanation? “I was thinking of some… thing that happened over this weekend. Made me draw a bird.” Truth was she had met someone but he didn’t need to know that little detail.
“Sounds interesting. I’m Damian Wayne by the way.” I know. “I have been away due to personal matters and would like to ask if you could assist me? I fear I may be a little behind and could use a study partner for this class.”
“Well according to the seating arrangement, we’re supposed to be lab partners for the whole semester. I’m Raven.” She extended her hand out and Damian shook her hand.
Damian smiled at her, “pleasure to meet you.”
Raven could had sworn she seen that smile once before, but couldn’t place it in her mind where she had seen it.
--------------------------
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this update, I wanted so much to happen but had to pace myself for the sake of this story. I am not sure when I will update this one next, trying to figure out a route that I like best. HOWEVER be on the look out this Friday for the first two chapters on my Dark Robin Au! I am excited to share with you all this fic, also because I want to multitask I will be sharing a chapter for another longer Damirae fic sometime this weekend.
Till next time!
~ S.Rose
#damirae#damiraefic#damiraeau#under an autumn moonlight#Damian Wayne#damian x raven#robin and raven#raven roth#dc robin
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Attached: Hurtful Words Pt.3
Type: (mini)-series, Modern-college-professor AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 6420 + 280 (you’ll see)
Summary: Graduation day, yay! Says no one, ever.
Except for Penny, who practically drags you to enjoy one of the most important days of your lives. You go along, just because. Hell, who knows - maybe you’ll like it in the end.
A/N: Attached: Hurtful Words is an addition that loosely followes the Attached series. You don’t necessarily need to read the mini-series as a whole, but you will understand much better.
Warnings: mentions of name calling and humiliation,swearing, some angst and lots of talking and maybe... ;)
Story masterlist
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
You had been through several phases of dealing with what happened and they came and went and came and went, one blending into another, other times changing so sharply and quickly as if you flipped a metaphorical switch.
But what stayed for the majority of the time was that you simply had no idea what should you do.
One moment, you were certain that this was a sign from above telling you to break things off with Steve, because no matter the beautiful moments you had shared, continuing the relationship was an epitome of asking for more trouble and even though you had never met a guy so close to your dream man, you wondered if it was worth it.
The next minute, you mentally yelled at yourself and called yourself a dumb ungrateful bitch, convinced that this was in fact a trial, an ordeal by fire; a test you had to pass so your relationship came out stronger from it. Your faith was rock-solid that Steve was it, because after all, he was the closest guy to your dream man that you had ever met.
Your emotions were bubbling, the order of stages of grief all messed up, a mixture of self-pity, anger, resignation, denial---shame.
And shame seemed to be a theme that stuck, because the longer you were stalling and leaving Steve’s kind supportive and pleading messages without reply, the worse you felt, ashamed to reach out now, after such a long and pointed silence. Because Steve hadn’t relented, keeping in touch and very obviously staying convinced that you two could push through; the stark contrast of your doubts and his unshakable belief was breaking both your heart and mind.
How did you even deserve him? He stood by your side, at least as much as he could… while his name was in the poem too and he was probably dealing with so much shit right now and yet he didn’t cease reaching out while you left him in a lurch and really, you must have been the worst girlfriend ever.
If you even still were a girlfriend… though Steve appeared to still consider you one and it was making you want to tear your hair out, frustrated with your own stupid overthinking ass.
Penny, bless her, was there the whole time, loyal by your side instead of drinking herself into oblivion in a celebration of her bachelor degree. She was there as well when you received a text yesterday morning, followed by longer-than-usual silence.
I know this has little chance of reaching you, but know this: say the word and I will leave you alone to the point of not going to the ceremony at all despite my presence being formally half-required. Or I’ll be there and stay away. Anything you want, anything that helps you to enjoy your special day. You deserve to celebrate such a great success and I’d hate to be the reason for you to miss out on a memory that will last a lifetime. You deserve the world, sweetheart; and if you don’t want to me to be the one who gives it to you, I’ll have to accept it. Congratulation.
The text had to be split into three separate units, but the message was clear and you had a good thorough cry at it, your shaky conviction growing firmer and earning a solid base.
He had hit a nail on the head – you had been considering not going and then definitely going and then not again, back and forth for various reasons, but mostly because of him; too excited, too hopeful and too scared to meet him.
And to think you had been once afraid of facing him after you suspected that he had read your smutty story about him… this was so much more terrifying than that and now you were biting on your lips, slightly redder due to the lipstick you had applied for the ceremony, and you glanced up to meet Penny’s narrowed eyes in the mirror.
“Don’t you bail out on me now. You promised yesterday that you’d go,” she reminded you, half-concerned, half-strict.
You sighed, knowing fully that she spoke the truth.
“I know. It’s just…”
It’s just that I haven’t replied to Steve, AGAIN, and I don’t know if he’s gonna be there. And what I am going to do if he is.
And what I’m going to do if he isn’t.
Penny charmed a supportive grin, walking to you and putting her hand on your shoulder, squeezing it in comfort until you managed to swallow your nerves for a brief second and return the smile weakly.
She squealed and pulled you to her side, a happy twinkle in her chocolate-coloured eyes.
“We did it, girl! We fucking made it to the end of bachelor studies! And we’re gonna enjoy every moment of that mummery that comes with it!”
You couldn’t but snort, amused at her exclaim, while tears burned in your eyes, a mixture of nerves, grief and happiness.
“Yeah. I guess we should.”
“That’s my girl!”
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
For all you wanted to enjoy this day with your friend since your family wouldn’t be able to make it, the first thing your eyes searched for in the crowd getting ready for the ceremony was a broad figure with blond hair, a beard and the most beautiful eyes you couldn’t but fall in love with.
Your stomach, tight from nerves and anticipation, dropped to your feet and you had to focus on keeping the tears at bay.
Steve wasn’t here.
The professors were always seated together, expected to hang out in a group – which somehow provided them safety from both students in the gowns and the few individuals who didn’t understand the dress code and arrived in jeans and sweatshirts – and you couldn’t see Steve among them. You even caught a sight of Bucky; and if Steve wasn’t with him, well, then it was clear that he decided to stay home.
Home. You had felt at home with him too, but that was over now.
What did you expect though? You ignored him for almost a week and even a guy like Steve, so amazing and understanding, would lose his patience with such inconsiderate and downright bratty attitude.
Your heart weighted a ton, heavy in your chest, pounding anxiously at the thought.
Was this how you parted ways? Just… fading away? Two lovers, two people in love – and you had realized over the past few days that Steve must have truly loved you – falling apart for the lack of communication? What a cliché.
But really, how could you have kept your hopes up that he would show up? Because it was sort of expected from the professors? Please. Because he had asked you to let him know if you didn’t want him here… and you hadn’t responded? Again? Right.
Yes, you hadn’t requested that he stayed away – then again, you hadn’t exactly begged him to come either. All that because you let yourself fall into the pit of doubts and allowed them to eat at your soul and ruin your relationship with the best man you had ever met instead of holding onto him for a dear life.
You guessed it served you right, more so now, in this very moment.
Because right now, your resolve and faith that you had been meant to be with Steve felt more solid than ever. By the laws of human nature, by its very essence, you were certain of what you wanted the moment you understood that you lost it.
A tug at your hand snapped you from your gloomy self-depreciating thoughts, your head automatically turning the direction the intrusion came from. Penny’s face came into view and she frowned as she saw you blink away tears.
“Hey! No brooding today! Today is a great win of our lives. You hear me?” she scolded you lightly, her eyes twinkling with true happiness and you gulped, nodding obediently.
“Right. Sorry. You’re right of course.”
“Damn right I am.”
You charmed a pathetic smile for her and looked at the other students in the black gowns to distract yourself from one single thought – Is it a win? Or is it the final prove of my loss?
You desperately tried to believe Pen and forced yourself to focus on the bright side, on what you were supposed to be delighted for; you finished your bachelor studies. Yay!
Yet, despite your best efforts, the ceremony and the speeches from the professors and the officials of your university, all the ‘mummery’ as Penny called it, happened in a strange haze.
Perhaps that was how everyone felt, drunk on euphoria instead? You guessed. You thought you might have smiled at some point, fuelled by a brief moment of true victory.
You stood there among other students, your eyes on the stage where Sharon Carter, a student at the top of your class, walked to the stand to give a speech.
You weren’t exactly friends with Sharon – you talked sometimes, more of a common courtesy exchanged simply because you were classmates. Still, you were mildly curious about what she had to say; she was marked a great student for a reason and she tended to have the ability to catch attention and awake something in others when she talked. An excellent choice for the speech – however, you caught yourself nervously toying with the cap of the case with your diploma, feeling fatigue of the past days catching up with you.
God, you wanted to go back to your whining and misery, not because you revelled in it, but because in the safety of your dorm room, you didn’t have to put up a front of a student excited to graduate. Not that you were any good at the pretence.
“Good morning, everyone. Mr. President, Mr. Dean, Professors… and most importantly, students. For some of us, the journey ends here – we are about to leave the not-so-safe space of the university and try our chances out there, in the open and much more dangerous world,” Carter started, a mild smile on her lips. “That said, it doesn’t mean that our school days were exactly easy.”
“Oh, you had no idea,” you mumbled under your breath, a pang in your ribcage reminding you just how harsh university space could be – not just because of the professors and their impossible tasks.
And they said high-school was the nightmare.
You noticed several people muttering under their breath too, for various reasons. For a brief moment, you felt shame – the pain others had been through could have been even worse, because illness and death had little regard for waiting for when it was more convenient. Who were you to complain?
Then again, you felt like you suffered enough too, your pain just as real as theirs.
Sharon looked around the audience and took a deep breath, her smile turning almost wistful as if she could hear your thoughts.
“While I’m up here, I would like to do something… a bit unconventional. I know this day shouldn’t be dedicated to one person and that is not what I want to do, but I have to speak up. After all, that is what history taught us – that we have to speak up. I want to talk about something everyone who stands here know – sadly, because it was perfectly wide-spread at the university.”
Whispers rose in the crowds along with your pulse skyrocketing.
Fuck. Fuck, she wouldn’t.
Right?! This was something else she was talking about, something you had missed, because you were too busy sulking.
You grabbed Penny’s hand at your side, squeezing harshly and shot her a panicked look, wordlessly pleading her to tell you this was not happening and you were just projecting, imagining this was some nightmare coming to life.
She gave you a side-eye and beckoned her chin to the stage again. Your breathing picked up, your knees feeling weak.
Oh my god, oh fucking shit this was happening.
Why the fuck Sharon wanted to open this can of worms publicly?! Did she hate you?
Granted, you weren’t paying much attention to other people’s faces, but you were hopeful that the mess was slowly dying down and people weren’t necessarily staring at you.
Now, the small circle of people around you who obviously knew where you were, glanced at you pointedly.
Hadn’t your ears been ringing and your panic rising, you might have found it weird that they were smiling at you – and not in a condescending or malicious way.
“Come on. Listen to what she has to say,” Penny whispered to your ear and you eyed her, shocked to find her smiling as well.
A terrible realization hit you like a train.
“Wait, you knew about this?” you hissed angrily, your stomach somersaulting. The actual FUCK?! “You knew she was gonna talk about that? What the hell? Why?!”
Was that why she made you come here?
“Oh honey, you have no idea what was happening these past few days, do you? Just listen.”
Huh?! What the fuck did Penny meant by-
“I just want to remind to the people feeding bad blood that the girl I’m talking about – a smart young woman who had accepted her diploma today, one of us – she earned her degree. In fact, she probably had to work even harder, because that’s the policy, a sort of a reverse favouritism. The records of her exams are much more detailed and she was under scrutiny, she had to prove that she was nothing the self-proclaimed experts were calling her.”
As outside your body as you felt, in this surreal moment where Sharon Carter talked about your dirty laundry during your damn graduation ceremony, the word ‘whore’ still popped in your mind in angry red letters and chased tears into your eyes, the humiliation you had felt when you first spotted the poem overwhelming you again.
“She had to face every evil glare people sent her way, glares she faced for something as simple as being in love. And just so you know, I have it from a reliable source-“ she pretended to cough while saying Penny’s full name, “-her roommate, that for the long months she’s been with her favourite man, it was in fact Professor Phillips whose name she was whispering in her sleep, because we all know he’s a real hard-ass; my condolences to Professor Rogers.”
Chuckles erupted in the crowd and you felt your lips twitch involuntarily. More and more people were turning to you as their colleagues elbowed their ribs to subtly point in your direction.
You lowered your gaze, embarrassed by so much attention – a positive one, it seemed.
When the hell did that happen?
“Also, all kudos to Nelson and Murdock, who accepted our request and are now suing the hell out of the Expert One and Two, possibly Three, for defamation and possible attempted assault.”
Your heart skipped a beat.
A breathy “Wait, what?!” fell from your lips.
“They offered to do it for free, but I think that a small donation never hurt anyone. You’ll find the link on the forum dedicated to our girl. You’ll find the link to that forum in your inbox if you haven’t already.”
There was a forum dedicated to you?! To hate you or to support you? How could you… not know about that?
Probably had something to do with how you shut off the whole world… social media included. Hell, especially those.
And the people who wrote the poem and sent it to everyone on uni could actually… be sued? It was that serious? From the legal side, not yours, you were sufficiently ruined about that you had no doubt-
“Let’s clap for Nelson and Murdock as they wave at us. Thank you, gentlemen!” Sharon called out and everyone’s head turned to a pair of lawyers you couldn’t hope to see – but you really had to in the future, because what?!
However, you did reluctantly join the deafening applause the people present dedicated to them.
Seriously, what was happening?
“Why I’m saying all this… I know she’s here with us today, because she deserves it just like everyone else. I would like to invite her to stand to the very left of the crowd. Please, come on, our brave soul.”
Sharon’s eyes unmistakably found you as if she knew where you were standing the whole time – which she probably could. Because of Penny. And obviously, few others.
Penny nudged you with a grin and you gulped as several onlookers sent you encouraging smiles.
You felt your face burning with all the eyes on you, your head spinning.
Oh god, oh god-
“Go,” Penny whispered to your ear. “You’ll like it, I promise.”
I’ll like what exactly?
“Uh-huh, sure,” you mumbled but gave in, your shaky feet carrying you outside the line of chairs to your left – it was probably no coincidence that you didn’t have to cross the aisle, already standing on the left half.
Everything was planned, that you were starting to understand… but to what end?
“You see, I want her to understand that maybe two or three people in this damn school made a fuss, but there’s quite a lot of people who don’t think any less of her, of people who are in fact happy for her and Professor Rogers. Also, I want her to be easy to find for later purpose,” Sharon explained as you reluctantly approached the aforementioned spot.
For later purpose? Easy to find?
A hunch slowly crept up your back and you couldn’t decide whether you wanted it to be true or not.
What were the chances it was something else though?
Pretty big, in fact. Because you had no clue what a surreal world you had found yourself in and how, but it seemed like everything, even the most absurd thing you wouldn’t even dare to think about, came to life here.
“You know, the best thing about her story is that… it’s a story of all of us. I mean, not in such a great detail, gosh, we wish to own a heart of such fine man, but…” More laughter erupted from the crowd and you choked on the sound ripped from your throat, something between a chuckle and a sob.
Wasn’t that the truth…
”But in the end, there is no great difference. We’re standing here today, because we pushed through. We stand here today, because this is our story of love and passion – for things, for people. It’s a story of working hard and losing sleep for something that truly matters to us. It’s a story of fighting off sticks and stones and overcoming obstacles, of fighting for our future,” Sharon said ceremonially, her voice fuelled by true yet not theatrical passion. One corner of her lips rose in a sad smile as she lightly shook her head, sending her blond hair flying. “And folks, I hate to break it to you, but it ain’t always gonna be easy. But the fact that we’re here today, in these ridiculous outfits we secretly love because they are a testimony to our success… it tells me that the future might not be the worst either.”
Sharon Carter made a pregnant pause, eyes searching in the sea of faces watching her, until her gaze fell at someone near you and her lips spread in an almost cheeky smile, one you hadn’t know she was capable of.
Before you could try and see what was the cause – even if the rapid beats of your heart already seemed to know the answer – she delivered an explanation.
“Isn’t that right, Professor Rogers?”
Hushed voices and shocked exclaims reached your ears, but you couldn’t quite hear them over the pounding of your pulse in your temples.
A tall figure with broad shoulders cladded in an unfamiliar hoodie was making its way to you, the crowd parting like a sea with each step he took. Even though he did, he didn’t have to lose the hood for your benefit – you had inspected his body thoroughly on many occasions, you knew his gait, and until now, you had believed that you were aware of every hoodie he had in his closet, because you had borrowed each and every one of them at least once when staying at his place... often.
Ruffled blond hair appeared first and then everything you had eyes for was his lips, curved in a hesitant smile and the beautiful eyes, so deep you could drown in them.
Your fingertips tingled with anticipation, your chest heaving in quick shallow breaths full of anxiety.
The expression on Steve’s face was unreadable – and yet, just seeing his face after the series of unfortunate events, was enough to chase tears into your eyes and for your feet to twitch with the unstoppable urge to run to him.
It was only the fear of his reaction that prevented you from making the tinniest move.
A pointed clearing of a throat sounded through the microphone, but you couldn’t tell if it worked on people, if they turned their attention to the person on the stage or kept watching your reunion. Reunion with Steve – who naturally hogged all your attention and as he approached you, his presence assaulting nearly all of your senses.
A sight for your sore teary eyes.
The barely audible yet deafening whisper of your name.
His natural scent mixed with his cologne and the detergent he used – even standing two feet away, you would swear you could smell it, perhaps a mirage created by your wishful memories.
The ghost of his skin and hair tickled your fingers as you had been running your hands through his hair and beard and roamed his body so often that you could practically feel it even now.
Half of the things you sensed must have been a figment of your imagination; yet, they felt very real, as did the rapid staccato of your heart hammering in your ribcage, the butterflies both pleasant and unpleasant occupying your stomach.
“Now, let the lovebirds figure it out and listen up, people…”
“Hi,” he greeted you softly, a single caress of his voice encouraging the flipping of metaphorical wings in your stomach.
“Hi,” you replied automatically, unable to think about anything better to say.
What were you supposed to say?
You had already made your peace with him not coming… to a point. You forgone all hope; so now you were desperately unprepared for him showing up, all casual-looking in jeans and a hoodie and so damn gorgeous as always.
An attempt at a smile graced his lips, his hand rising to the back of his neck in his typically bashful gesture as he self-consciously looked around.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea they would make such a fuss. I just followed the instructions and showed up-“
You heart sank to your gut; your body, warming up in his presence alone as he was your personal sun, suddenly felt cold with the metaphorical bucket of icy water his words provided.
He came here because someone told him to – someone who planned this stunt, this ridiculous and utterly stupid show. What was next? Were you supposed to kiss for the audience?
The same nausea you remembered feeling when seeing the poem hit you all over again; Steve didn’t want to be here.
He wasn’t here for you, he wasn’t here because he wanted to set things right.
The pain erupting in your chest was shocking and burned like a flame fed on gasoline. You truly were over and his words-
“No, wait, that came out wrong!” he hurried, crossing the short distance between you in three long steps and you would have taken a step back, hadn’t your feet rooted into the ground. “I came… I’m here because I wanted to see you. I missed you, sweetheart.”
Tears rolled freely down your face, the endearment sending a shiver down your spine, the admission sparking a warm light within you again.
You met his gaze, your knees shaking slightly in weakness, threatening to give out as you feared what exactly you would see in his eyes.
You could melt right there when you were met with the same softness he always observed you with, a blue-green sea of wonder and love, tainted with reluctance and regret.
You pressed your lips together in effort to stop your jaw from quivering.
Regret you were more than familiar with; conflict, sorrow, self-pity, anger, resignation, shame… those were the other emotions which you guessed he could read on your face.
His brows furrowed and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.
“I’m not here to guilt trip you. Actually-“ Steve started again and finally, as his hand disappeared in the front pocket of the hoodie, you found your voice, interrupting him.
“I missed you too,” you sobbed, covering your mouth as soon as the pathetic sound left your lips.
Steve’s own lips parted in awe, his gaze somewhat lighting up with a new hearty emotion.
But once you started talking, finally, finally speaking up, the dam broke and the waterfall of words couldn’t be stopped.
“And I’m sorry, Steve, I’m so sorry for shutting you off like that, you didn’t deserve that and you were probably in a small personal hell too, I don’t even know if your job was affected and how are doing and it’s not right, I wasn’t supposed to ignore all your calls and texts, I was supposed to-“
“-reach out when you’re ready,” he finished for you, completely differently than you had intended.
It shut you up effectively.
“Look… I understand. It was tough and it still is and if you want this to be the last time we ever talk-- then it will,” he rasped, his voice breaking towards the end of the sentence, your heart squeezing painfully at both the premise and at hearing him hurting.
God, how much he must have been hurting for the past few days and now he was talking about understanding you and forgiving you for ghosting him and still offering you an out and--- Jesus fucking Christ, you were going to drown in your own tears.
And Steve reached into that damn pocket again and even if you had no idea what was there, you had a hunch it was some kind of a gift – either a parting gift or something for your graduation and you simply couldn’t--- you didn’t care for some materialistic shit right now-
You just needed to feel him again.
Taking one single step at a lightning speed, you let the diploma case fall to the ground and threw your arms around Steve’s neck, burying your face in his chest, drawing a surprised huff from him.
A box dug into your stomach, the content of the front pocket, but you didn’t give a fuck.
Not when Steve’s arms sneaked around your waist and shoulder with no hesitation, engulfing you, his nose burying into your hair—and cursing when the cap got in his way.
You chuckled madly into his hoodie, your fingers clutching the fabric when his daring lips awkwardly found a way to your temple.
You felt like you were touched by an angel, delighted laughter that shook both of your entangled bodies ripping from your throat along with a sob.
“Shit, Steve, I’m so sorry, I missed you so much, please forgive me, please, please, please-“
“No way. Nothing to forgive-“
“Like hell it isn’t-“
“It hurt, but I get it. I truly do,” he whispered frantically, his hands moving to push you away just enough to frame your damp face with his big warm palms. “You just needed time to process what happened.”
You nodded and then lowered your gaze in shame – because you were incredibly embarrassed for your further cowardice, sobbing like a stupid five-year-old. “And then I—I was scared that you wouldn’t care anymore- that it was too late-“
God, now when you said it out loud, it sounded even more pathetic, but that was now, in his arms, when everything made so much more sense-
He shook his head, causing you to look up again just in time to see the flash of hurt in his brilliant irises disappearing. With a brief smile passing his lips, he held your face more firmly in attempt to maintain eye contact.
“No. It would take a whole lot more for me to stop caring and there still would be no guarantee it would work,” he promised, gaze so intense that you couldn’t but believe him, no matter how unreal his words sounded. “You are not what they called you and you are mine, as long as you want, because I love you. Okay? I love you, because yeah, I still think you’re really freaking amazing.”
You chuckled at his choice of words, your heart bursting with their message. The heavy burden resting upon your shoulders dropped at last – and you felt as light as a feather, bound to the man staring into your eyes as if they were the last thing he wanted to see should he turn blind the next second.
He still loved you. Steve still loved you and both your heart and mind were enamoured of him, overwhelmed with his declaration.
You were not good with your words – in fact, in that moment, you were certain you forgot all the words in English language and in every other language you had ever tried to learn too.
There was only one language left to use then; the universal one that could fit thousands of words into one single second.
You let go of Steve’s hoodie, grabbed his face instead and pulled, rising to your tiptoes in hope to reach his lips with yours.
Luckily for you, he got the message before you could pathetically kiss only the patch of skin under his chin and allowed you to move him as much as you wanted.
And by Gods, did you want, finally adding the fifth sense into the play. Taste. You missed how he tasted and how his beard scratched against your sensitive skin-
Your tears spiked your kiss with salt, but neither of your cared as you pushed through the seam of his lips, letting him know what you desired before passing on the lead to him, an open-mouthed kiss full of desire, longing and raw emotions causing you to forget all about your surroundings until a low wolf-whistle sounded on your right, bringing you back to reality.
You parted involuntarily, foreheads resting against each other, warm tears still rolling down your cheeks, but now getting lost in your content smiles.
“I love you, Steve. I love you and if you love me too, then we belong together and whoever thinks otherwise can shove their opinion where the sun doesn’t shine,” you echoed his words from almost a year ago, words that stuck with you, because they were true.
You and Steve, you were the ones who mattered. These were your lives, your relationship, and you had done nothing wrong.
Because you loved each other.
Steve’s mouth caught yours for a short moment, nothing but a nip at your lips – a silent agreement followed by a warm smile, mirroring your own.
“Will you let me give you a little something now?” he whispered, sounding slightly amused as that would be the third attempt that day and the urge to slap his arm for being cheeky felt like a surge of pure life into your veins. The familiarity made your heart sing.
You glanced up at him, retreating and eyed him from head to toe in an appreciative and yet teasing matter. “Haven’t you already? How do I unwrap you, mister?”
Steve chuckled and pulled out a rectangular box, holding it out for you.
“Here. Congratulation to your bachelor degree. And know that if you don’t like it, we can always pick something else.”
You were only human – and curiosity might have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back and the curiosity was killing you now as well. You bit down on your lip, not quite succeeding at masking your excited smile; even if you weren’t exactly deserving of a gift from Steve at the moment, which he would probably argue with, you couldn’t deny that you were touched by the gesture and who were you kidding, you did enjoy receiving a gift. And it was your graduation ceremony, you deserved to celebrate in every way imaginable.
You carefully took the box from Steve, tender fingers caressing the bow stuck on top. Hesitating only a second, enjoying the brief intoxicating anticipation, you lifted the lid.
Your breath got stuck in your throat as you revealed the necklace.
The chain, probably silver, was very delicate, carrying a simply decorated heart with a winding line in the middle, as if the heart was broken. Despite the symbolism, you couldn’t but revel at its beauty.
“Steve,” you breathed out shakily, unable to tear your gaze away from the jewellery, tears, dried at last, threatening to escape your eyes again. “This is… so beautiful. So much-“
You lifted your gaze, only to meet his twinkling eyes. “You like it?”
You nearly choked at the absurdity of the question. Liked it?
“Steve, it’s—like it? It’s breath-taking. You shouldn’t have- that’s-” Shit, this must have been so expensive- but you had seen it now and you loved it and you didn’t want to part with ever. “-but I absolutely want to keep it now.”
Steve chuckled lightly at your antics, but you took no offence since you were being a bit greedy.
You reached out to brush the pendant with the softest of touches – and sucked a breath in fright when it fell apart, causing you to realize for the first time that the heart could be divided in two, each part having its own loop on the chain.
“Oh,” you let out in surprise, your mind racing. Now that definitely was symbolic. Not a broken heart. Two parts of one heart. “That’s… does this mean one half is for you?”
As you asked the question to make sure, you looked up to Steve’s face, only to find a blush creeping up his neck.
“Uhm… I mean-“
“That’s so cute! And cheesy. So sweet though! I guess we do fit…” you mused, a goofy smile from the swirl of emotions today a testimony of how mushy the lovely and meaningful gift turned you. Steve’s blush deepened, but a delighted smile spread on his lips, eyes soft, so you assumed he was simply happy you liked it. “And we do complete each other.”
“Oh sweetheart,” Steve whispered, clasping your free hand in his, caressing tenderly before bringing it to his lips and dropping a barely-there kiss on its back.
“Would you wear it?” you queried, slightly nervous. “One of the halves I mean.”
It might have been his idea, but did you read him correctly?
“If that’s what you want. Give me your half and keep mine,” he offered, one corner of his lips higher in a cheeky and yet tender smile.
“You got a deal, Stevie. Thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it, sweetheart. I was going to give you a key to the apartment officially, kneel on one knee and all that-“
“WHAT?!”
He wanted to do what?!
“-to ask you if you want to move in permanently, but I understand that we’ve been through a lot, you’ve been through a lot, so while the offer stands, I don’t want you to feel pressured or-“
Oh really? Then why did he even tell you about it?
Your heart felt like beating its way out of your chest, the widest grin spreading on your lips. Staring at Steve as he was stuttering, you couldn’t decide whether he was nervous about asking, trying his luck, or was teasing you, knowing all too well what you were about to say.
Oh god, your head was spinning, again-
“Yes!” you blurted out before you could think twice, shocking the stammering mess of Steve into silence.
“Really?!” he shot back in awe, his lips left parted in genuine surprise – and his expression was pure relief.
“Yes. If you mean it – and God help you if you don’t-“ And you were serious, if he was messing with you now— he wouldn’t, right? Steve wouldn’t joke about such important topic, about your life together.
“Of course I mean it-”
You squealed, closing the box you had nearly dropped in shock and hugged Steve as tight as you could, causing him to huff for the second time that day. Oh you were never letting go of him!
The crowd you entirely forgot about cheered and you jumped away from Steve as if burned, horrified that they had been following your reconciliation and displays of love this whole time-
And then you noticed the graduation caps in the air, a tradition celebrating the success of your year. You grinned at the image, catching Steve’s gaze.
“Go on,” he encouraged you, mirroring your grin when you reached for the square cap, swinging and sending it high in the air.
A yelp escaped you as you found yourself in the air as well in a blink of an eye, nestled in Steve’s arms as he laughed madly, pure delight shining from his eyes; and love. So much love.
You barely caught the cap, not really caring for it when in the arms of your man. You dropped a kiss to his lips, earning one in return and a few more, as you couldn’t get enough for each other after such a long time apart and so much unnecessary heartbreak.
You rested your foreheads against each other, tender meetings of lips, brushes of noses-
Steve winced and hissed in pain, causing you to withdraw and frown as you studied his face.
“Sorry, just… my nose…” he mumbled, seemingly embarrassed, “...tender.”
“From…?” you questioned, absolutely baffled. Steve sighed, but just one glare from you told him that you were not letting it go. You didn’t want him in any pain – you both lived through more enough of it in the past few days.
“Bucky punched me.”
“What?!” you blurted out, shocked to the core, and you braced yourself on Steve’s shoulders, your gaze automatically flickering through the crowd to find the culprit.
Why the heck would Bucky-
“Long story, tell you later,” Steve promised with a peck to your lips, signalling that the conversation was over. For now.
You had better things to do after all. So you only smiled in agreement – you couldn’t seem to stop smiling for some reason.
Wonder what that could be? Maybe because it finally feels like today is a win?
“I’m sure you will.”
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦- Bonus: -◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
It was the day after her own graduation when the blond was sitting on a park bench, light summer dress with cherry blossoms gently swirling around her knees, absentmindedly swiping through the apps on her phone, looking up every now and then to smile at the image of families enjoying the weather and freedom of summer.
She merely paused in her idly actions when the redhead woman she was waiting for seated herself next to her on the other end, sliding an envelope with a promised reward her way.
“As promised,” the redhead said disinterestedly, barely on a lower volume than a normal conversation would be and tugged a loose strand of her hair behind her sunglasses. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
The blond smiled softly, reaching for the envelope and subtly hid it in her purse. “Same. It was rather fun, actually.”
This time, a smile broke on the redhead’s lips as well, cocky, satisfied, but by any means false.
“Well, I heard you’re staying for your master’s. You contact Danvers if you want any more of that fun, da?”
“You better count on that, Rushman.”
“It’s Romanoff, actually,” the redhead smirked, side-eyeing the blond as she rose to her feet again, ready to go where her orders would take her. She spent one more glance at the other woman though; she had carried out her task perfectly, in a way that seem very natural. She’d make a good addition to their growing team and since Natasha was anything but unpolite… “Looking forward to working with you in the future, Carter.”
Sharon Carter felt a surge of pride and couldn’t but return the courtesy before the woman would walk away from her life for god knew how long.
“Feeling’s mutual.”
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
Attached masterlist
Attached: Words Lost in Translation
S.R.masterlist
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
Thank you for reading ♥ We’re over 40k into the series, so thank you if you stuck around :-*
Lemme know your thoughts?
You might have noticed a to-be link for another addition to the Attached series called Words Lost in Translation. It’s more of an idea in my head, very little of the actual story written, but it will hopefully involve a bit jealousy… and smut. Just FYI.
Stay happy and safe!
#fanfiction#marvel#steve rogers x reader#professor steve rogers#college au#professor au#modern au#steve rogers#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x you#professor steve x reader#steve rogers au#captain america au#captain america#captain america x you#captain america x reader#captain america imagine#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fanfic#professor bucky barnes#attached#attached: hurtful words#anika ann
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