#guznadia fic

[jasminejc4525]

It’s never too late

A little fic that I decided to put out after keeping it in my drafts for a year :) thank you @cygnetofthesea for your help and inspiration!

Nadia giggled as Guzman kissed her neck ever so slowly. They were supposed to be making breakfast, but instead Nadia was sitting on the countertop with Guzman in between her legs kissing her with his whole heart.        

“I like being with you like this,” Guzman said with the biggest smile. He and Nadia had officially been dating for 3 years. They enjoyed most of their time in their little apartment or in Central Park where Nadia would read materials for her classes and Guzman would look up at her and play with her hair. They also liked to enjoy late night slices of pizza.

“I’m glad you waited for me,” Nadia said looking deeply into Guzman’s eyes. She knew that when she made her promise to him she wasn’t going to break it. Long distance was going to be hard, so they decided to stay close friends while figuring themselves out for a year. After Guzman graduated from Las Encinas, he went to NYU for a business degree and that’s when he and Nadia reconnected their romantic relationship.

“It was worth it mi amor,” Guzman said as he got from between her legs and opened the cabinet to look for some ingredients. Nadia liked Guzman’s breakfast but she was the best at cooking dinner. “Do you ever miss it?” Nadia asked “Las Encinas?” Guzman asked and Nadia nodded her head. “Well there are a lot of traumatizing memories, but there are also amazing ones...like meeting the love of my life.” Nadia smiled and got up from the counter. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I am so grateful.” She said wrapping her arms around Guzman’s neck. As they were about to kiss, they heard a knock on the door. “I’ll go get it.” Nadia said before giving her boyfriend a quick peck. Nadia opened the door to see her sister May standing before her. Nadia wasn’t sure how to react when May wrapped Nadia in a hug. “Hi Nadia, I’ve missed you so much!” May said as she stepped back from their hug. “May what are you doing here?” Nadia said still shocked. “Well I heard you were in the city from Omar and I decided it was time to reconnect with my family.” Nadia took a deep breath, “It’s a lot to process but I think that would be great” Nadia relaxed and said “Come in.” May stepped into the beautiful apartment that Nadia and Guzman called their home. “This place is amazing.” “Thank you. Guzman and I have been here for a year after we got tired of the college dorms.” Nadia smiled as she thought of a nervous Guzman asking her if she wanted to move in with him. He didn’t want to feel like they were rushing the relationship but Nadia gladly accepted because she was tired of being interrupted by Lu or Guzman’s roommate when they would have those private moments. Guzman parents helped him out with the rent along with his new job. He insisted that Nadia didn’t work so she could focus on school because her major was very hard. May gave Nadia a confused look, ”Guzman?” Nadia smiled, “My boyfriend. We’ve been together for 3 years but we’ve known each other since I started school at Las Encinas.” “Las Encinas? Like the school for the richest kids in Spain? How did you get to go there?” May asked Nadia with wide eyes. Nadia laughed, “It’s a long story, but I’ll explain later.” They walked into the kitchen to find Guzman starting some eggs. “Guzman I would like to introduce you to my sister May.” He looked just as surprised as Nadia did when he first saw her. “Hi nice to meet you, I’m Guzman.” May smiled and was a little shocked because she never thought her little sister would date a white guy. They all sat down and started eating. Nadia looked at her sister and said, “May what happened after you left home?” May took a deep breath and said, “A lot. After I left, I went with some friends to Barcelona and from there I got a job at a bar even though I was underage. I lived there for some time until I met a guy and he broke my heart so I decided I should try to reconnect with the people that really mattered to me.” She looked at Nadia who had a small smile on her face. “I’m really sorry by the way Nadia. I should have never left like that. And I didn’t even try to stay in touch. I’ve missed so much in your life.” Nadia took her sister’s hand from across the table and said, “It’s okay, I understand why you did.” Nadia paused and looked at Guzman, “If you hadn’t, I would have never been with Guzman.” May smiled at the two love birds and asked about their history, “So how did you two meet?” Nadia said, “Well the school I had been going to collapsed and since I was the top student in my class, I was given a scholarship.” Guzman interrupted and said, “Paid for by my father because he was the executive of the company that built her school. He made shortcuts while building it, so when it collapsed, he knew it was his responsibility to pay for their scholarships.” Nadia nodded and continued, “I initially saw Guzman when he got out the pool and I thought he was so hot.” Guzman smiled and said, “ I thought she was really pretty in her hijab and couldn’t stop staring at her as I got out the pool.” “Even though he had a girlfriend,” Nadia said laughing. “Yea well Lu was never really my girlfriend until she helped me after my sister died.” Nadia rubbed his back as he recalled the memory. He gave her a reassuring look and continued, “But when we got back to school for senior year, I knew I wasn’t over Nadia.” Nadia said, “Junior year we were friends and we started developing feelings for each other but decided not to explore it because Baba was gonna take me out of Las Encinas. He thought I was changing too much.” Guzman looked at May and said, “So I made a deal with your father and said I wouldn’t speak to Nadia if he would let her return to school the next year.” May smiled, “Wow, you really did that for her?” “Yea, for the summer at least. It was horrible not being able to talk to her on how I was doing with my sister being dead and all. But when I saw her on the first day of school, I knew I couldn’t keep ignoring her.” Nadia and Guzman told May about everything that happened in senior year. How they kissed and slept together while Guzman was still with Lu and even how they had sex in the locker room. May’s eyes were wide as she looked at them and asked, “What were you guys thinking?That was so risky.” “Yea we didn’t care at the time and I was really horny, but it was all messed up when someone recorded us and shared it to the whole school.” Nadia said. May looked concerned, “That must have been awful Nadia” “Yea it messed up a lot. Guzman and I were going to try a relationship but that video scared me away. But it also messed with me getting scholarships until I earned a scholarship to Columbia.” They continued to talk and Nadia felt completely comfortable being with her sister.

***

They decided to go shopping and spend some one on one time together. May smiled at Nadia and said, “So Guzman huh?” Nadia laughed and asked, “Yea so what? “I don’t know, I never thought you would date while in college, especially a white guy. And you gave me a lot of flack when we were younger for the boys I liked.” Nadia smiled, “Well Guzman was different. He knocked down all the walls I put up to guard my heart. I didn’t need to be scared of loving him. I knew I could trust him with my heart and he wouldn’t destroy it. Yes there have been ups and downs but we’ve always found our way back to each other.” She paused and turned to May, “ And I’m sorry I was so judgmental of you when we were younger. I was just trying to be the perfect daughter for Baba, but that wasn’t truly who I was. I should’ve tried to be there for you more.” May hugged her sister and said, “It’s okay we all make mistakes, I’m just glad those mistakes lead us to here.” Nadia wiped away the tears in her eyes and asked May about her life now. “I’m working on opening my own Palestinian restaurant in New York.” “Wow that’s amazing” Nadia said with the biggest smile. “Have you reached out to Mama and Baba?” “Yes, I talked to them last week and they weren’t mad...I’m very excited to be talking to my family again.” They started walking again and May asked, “So what are you up to now?” “I’m in my last year at Columbia and I’ve started working on certain internships.” May nodded and asked, “Are you happy?” Nadia responded, “Yes, very happy...and you?” May looked at her sister who she loved so much and said, “Now I am.”

[diez-minutos]

Hey There, Nadia (Guzman x Nadia Elite Fic)

Hey, it’s been a minute since I posted something but these short stories are just getting to me I guess. Hopefully more new content to come soon!

Summary: Guzman and Nadia’s call the day after the incident at Rebe’s housewarming party.

Pair: Guzman x Nadia; brief mention of Polo x Caye

Calling Nadia

Guzman distracted himself with his phone as he anxiously waited for her to answer. When her her face finally filled his laptop’s screen, he almost lost his breath-the same way he did every day she had been gone.

She looked distracted and little exhausted but Guzman almost loved these moments more. Papers and books were scattered around her bed. He remembered her telling him about a big paper for her government class that she just couldn’t get perfect. (Although, he knew that this paper was much more eloquent than anything he could ever come up with.) And yet, his smile was so wide his cheeks were starting to hurt because she was just so authentically Nadia. 

“Hey, Gorgeous.” He dropped his phone without a second thought.

“Hey,” she chuckled. “Are you okay?”

“Of course. Are you?”

“Yeah,” she shifted slightly. “It’s just we didn’t talk yesterday. I thought you forgot about me.”

“Never. Yesterday was just a mess.” He shook his head as he remembered the chaos of Caye falling in the pool and he and Rebe covering their faces in all the red nail polish they could find. He was scared shitless, sure. But he had to give it to them, Caye and Rebe were more fun to be around than he thought.

“What happened?” Nadia scooted closer to her laptop, her curiosity shining through.

“Don’t judge me.”

“I would never!” She laughed as Guzman gave her a knowing look. “Only a little bit.”

“Well, I went to a party at Rebe’s-”

“You were hanging out with Rebe?”

“Yeah because I thought Samu and the other guys would be there but apparently Rebe lost her nerve.”

“Oh,” Nadia nodded. 

It felt odd to her that her boyfriend knew more about her best friend than she did. Ever since she moved to New York, she had lost contact with just about everyone other than Guzman and her brother. She expected this; not many people are still close with their same crew from high school. She just had not expected it to happen so soon. They had been through so much together, especially with Polo’s recent passing. She didn’t think everyone would forget about her so quickly.

“Have you seen pictures of her new place? The pool’s pretty cool.”

“I didn’t even know she moved.” Nadia shook her head. “Guess we weren’t as close as I thought.”

“No.” Guzman was quick to rid her mind of any doubts. “I’m sure she was just busy with all the packing. I bet she’ll call soon and give you the full tour.”

“Yeah,” Nadia sighed unconvincingly. “So what happened? Who all was there?”

“It was just me, Rebe, and Caye actually which was weird but somehow fun? Rebe gave us these shrooms and Caye was so out of it she thought she actually saw Polo in the pool!”

“Oh! Is she okay?”

“I think so. She said she’s working at Las Encinas next year. Cleaning I guess. Oh! We also found a shit ton of drugs in one of the cabinets and these guys with guns came looking for it. We were so scared.” 

Nadia was surprised at how much Guzman was laughing. Was she hearing him correctly? “Oh my gosh! Are you guys okay?”

“Oh yeah. We’re fine. I think we may actually be friends now.”

“That’s good.” Nadia couldn’t help how sad her voice sounded.

“What’s going on?” Guzman’s face dropped.

“It’s just weird hearing what’s happening while I’m gone. As much as I love New York a part of me wishes I was avoiding scary men with guns with you all.”

“You didn’t miss much.” Guzman shook his head. “And we all miss you, especially me.”

Nadia smiled slightly and blew Guzman a small kiss. He mimicked catching it and held it close to his heart.

“Do you see Omar much these days?”

“Is that why you call me? To get the dirt about your brother?”

“I have to check in on him. Make sure he’s staying out of trouble.”

“He’s good. We’re in the same study group actually. He seems a lot happier.”

“Good.” She was glad that her brother was on a good path. He had dealt with so much these past few years and all Nadia wanted was for him to have a chance to just be a teenager. “And Ander? How is he feeling?”

“Great. Doctors say he’s looking good and he and Omar are still going strong.”

“That’s great.” Nadia couldn’t help the yawn that escaped her mouth afterwards.

“What time is it there? Do you need to go to bed?”

Nadia glanced at the clock on the bottom of her screen: 1:00 AM. “Soon.”

“Well, I’m sorry I missed you yesterday. And I hope you get a good grade on your paper.”

“Thank you,” she sighed. She stared and her screen still not quite able to believe that the boy she caught having sex in the locker room was staring back at her with all the love and adoration in the world. “Keep an eye on Omar for me, okay?”

“Always,” he nodded and smiled back at her. “Get some sleep. You can always work in the morning.” Nadia nodded and started to clear her bed and get ready to sleep. “Hey.” She locked eyes with him once again. “I love you.”

“I love you. Very much. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

[cygnetofthesea]

Family: Élite Fanfiction

The knife hits the cutting board in sharp movements as Nadia makes quick work of the fruits. She looks over at the clock on the oven and calls out to her husband.

“Guzman! Has Amir eaten?”

She doesn’t see her husband around but hears his exasperated response followed by a little boy’s squeal.

“I’m trying but it seems our son has decided he wants to pick his own outfit today.”

Nadia doesn’t bat an eyelash at that, all too familiar with their three and half year old’s tendencies. She likes to blame Guzman for their son’s stubbornness. 

“If it looks ok, just leave it.”

“Oh, I’m certain it does not look ok. At least not enough to pass the Nadia check.”

Before she can consider his words, she hears the pitter patter of small feet heading her way. She looks up to see their son barreling into the living room on his short legs, followed by a haggard Guzman. Despite his frustration, Nadia couldn’t help but notice how good he looked. 

Dressed in a black shirt tucked into dark wash jeans, Guzman looked as good as the day she first met him. Their son on the other hand, for all his adorableness, was not dressed in a tidy manner. Wearing only a tank top, undies, and a sailor hat, Amir was far from presentable for a day out with his grandparents. Especially ones with a particular set of standards.

“Oh yeah, he cannot be wearing that to see Baba and Mama. That’ll just give them more ammo about how ‘freely’ we’re raising him.”

“Which is ironic considering they raised their daughter and she turned out to be quite the disciplinarian,” Guzman winks at her while trying to hold out a spoonful of food to Amir. 

Amir, for his part, pays no mind to either parents as he hops up and down on the couch, giggling in excitement. 

“Are you excited to spend the day with Teeta and Jeedo, Amir?” Nadia asks. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“Ok well you’ll have to put on actual clothes, won’t you? If you don’t have clothes on like I taught you, then you won’t get to go with Teeta and Jeedo.”

Amir lets out a prolonged whine. “Nooo!” 

Nadia tosses the fruits into a container and exchanges an exasperated look with Guzman. Without another word, Guzman scoops up Amir and brings him over to Nadia while she tucks away the knife and any other sharp objects before they get close to the kitchen island. 

Guzman sets a wriggling Amir on top of the counter, keeping an arm around him in safety. He smirks as he watches Nadia fix Amir with a stern look. 

“My love,” Nadia says softly. “Your enthusiasm is fantastic but I need you to put on actual clothes so that Teeta and Jeedo don't have to wait for you. Do you want to leave them waiting?”

Amir shakes his head before frowning. “What does ethu-ethusam mean, immi?”

“It means excitement,” Nadia says, wiggling her shoulders in a little dance. “Like you really want to do something.” Amir giggles and mimics her movements, setting Guzman off into a boisterous laughter. “Yes, like that. Now, will you get dressed like I showed you?”

“Ok, immi.”

Nadia beams at Amir. “That’s my good boy. Can immi have a kiss?”

Amir leans over and plants a wet smooch on her cheek. Guzman leans in with a feigned look of hurt. “And what about papa?”

Amir leans over with a giggle and smacks his lips on his dad’s cheek as well. “Thank you,” Guzman says, setting Amir back to the floor carefully. “Now off you go. Listen to immi!”

Nadia and Guzman look after their son, trotting away, with a fond smile before Guzman leans his elbows on the counter, the bowl of oatmeal still in his hand. “Can Guzman get a kiss?”

Nadia snaps some containers closed while smirking his way. “Guzman might have deserved a kiss if he had been able to wrangle his son to finish his breakfast at least,” she says looking pointedly at the bow in his hand. 

Guzman pouts while he watches Nadia pack some sfiha and falafels into one container and hummus with carrots into another. “I tried! He kept outsmarting me, which sounds familiar, and I can’t match his energy like in my younger years.”

“Hah! Please, you’re just as fit as you’ve always been.” She slides a palm slowly over his abs, feeling it flex under her touch as he leans in closer. “Just admit it, you’re a big softie when it comes to your son.”

Guzman sighs in resignation, scooping a spoonful of Amir’s oatmeal into his mouth. “You’re right. I never saw that coming.”

Nadia laughs while patting his cheek affectionately. “I knew you were going to be the pushover parent. Face it, Guzman, under that rough exterior, when it comes to the people you love, you’re a softie. It’s ok though, that’s why we work so well together.”

Guzman smiles at that. “We do, don’t we?” He leans in closer to her, waiting for her lips to meet his. He deepens the kiss for a moment before pulling away. He holds out a spoonful of oatmeal to her. 

“This is where we are, aren’t we?” Nadia says before accepting the food. “Eating the leftovers of our kid’s food and you feeding me.”

“Hey, if I don’t you’ll eat a bowl of fruits and nothing else.”  

Guzman sticks another spoonful to her mouth. Shaking her head, Nadia accepts and with a full mouth, pecks him on the lips.

Just then Amir comes barreling down the hall once again, half-dressed. Donning a pair of little denim pants, he wrangles with the shirt, trying to get the right parts through the right holes. The collar of his shirt is haphazardly around his forehead, obstructing his view while his arms struggle to find the sleeves. 

“Immi! Papa!” he cries. “It’s not working.”

Nadia and Guzman crouch in front of him, Guzman soothing him. “It’s ok, buddy, you’ve almost got it. Pull this down first, the collar,” Guzman instructs, tapping on the cloth. 

Amir’s bare arms blindly reach for the collar around his foreheads and jerks it down until his head pops up, hair mussed. His little face is flushed in exertion as he woefully looks at his parents. 

“I don’t like dressing myself,” he pouts.

Nadia raises a brow, discreetly placing a hand on Guzman’s arms to keep him from fixing Amir’s shirt for him. 

“Baby, did you tell papa that you wanted to dress yourself this morning?”

Amir’s pout deepens, his brows scrunching in a way so similar to Guzman’s it was startling. They both had the same frowny face when they were annoyed and it had amused Nadia when she first recognized Guzman in their son’s disgruntled expression. 

She had been quick to point it out to him. “Look! Look, he looks just like you when you don’t get your way,” she had laughed. 

It was so uncanny that even when she saw the expression on her son, she was reminded of Guzman and would text a picture of it to him if he wasn’t around at the time. 

Now as she looks at that familiar expression again, she turns to her husband with a suppressed giggle only to be met with his amused eyes. He knew exactly where her mind had gone. 

“Your turn to deal with your twin,” she whispers to him. 

Guzman looks back at Amir, expectantly. “Isn’t that right, Amir?”

Amir looks between his parents, contemplating the truth, but his parents know him all too well and fixes him with a look that says Don’t even try it.

Amir lets out a little huff, nodding before he looks skyward. “But I don’t wanna anymore, it’s too hard!”

“Buddy, your head is already through, you’re halfway there,” Guzman says. “Look, you got your head through, right?”

Amir looks down at his shirt, his pout slowly fading as he fiddles with the cloth. He looks more hopeful as he nods. 

“What comes next?” Nadia prompts. 

“Arms?”

“There you go! Put your arms under your shirt and then through the holes.”

It takes a few long moments of Amir fumbling with the shirt and bumping his elbow into himself but the moment he finally gets his arms through and the shirt perfectly settled over his little body, it was glorious. 

Nadia and Guzman cheer for Amir as he hops happily in place. “I did it! I did it!”

“You did, we’re so proud of you,” Guzman says with a broad smile their son had inherited. 

They wrap him up into a hug, sandwiching him between the two of them as they kiss either side of his cheeks. He giggles, squirming between them. 

“I want to tell Teeta and Jeedo! Can I, can I?”

“Of course, my dear. They’ll be so excited!”

“Ethu-ethusam?”

Guzman laughs, lifting Amir up to sit on his shoulders. “Yes, they’ll be very enthusiastic. And look, there they come.”

Guzman opens the front door while setting Amir down. His little feet barely touch the ground before he’s racing ahead to greet his grandparents, chattering excitedly before they even got out of the car. 

Nadia sidles up and he wraps his arms around her as they look on. It was incredible, really, how far they had come. Once upon a time, it had been hard to imagine her parents accepting Guzman, but now here they were. Almost ten years after learning about him, not only did they love him like a son, but they absolutely adored their little grandson. And most likely the new addition to their family that wasn’t far behind. 

As though hearing her thoughts, Guzman settles his other hand over her still flat stomach. “Think Teeta and Jeedo will be enthusiastic about another grandbaby along the way?”

Nadia beams as she watches her parents huddle happily around a bouncing Amir. 

“I have no doubt they will.”

[falllingthroughspace]

Guzman and Nadia + swimming pools

[gardenofblueroses]

Why is there not more guznadia fics in the fandom. Binge watched the Elite in 2 days and was ready to devour an array of fics but theres sooo little of them in the fandom 🥺😭😭

We need more Elite fics speciallicaly nadia x guzman and samuel x carla ❤❤❤ especially with the way season 3 ended. So open ended.

[esterexpsito]

What your opinion on Rebe ? Is she bi ? Do you think they will bring a new love interest for Samuel or Guzman ?

she’s definitely bi! and hopefully they don’t bring a new love interest for samuel i’ll be mad lfmskdnskf

[itsevidentvery]

Is there an inverse correlation between actual representation of sexual/romantic attraction and the horniness of fan works?

I don't know if this is just a function of the elegant perverts who ship the same Tumblr White Boys as me, but usually, if not always, these ships are not canon* and sex isn't a big part of canon. The fic, on the other hand? Exuberantly, explicitly filthy.

Whereas on shows with fairly frank sexual activity (het and otherwise)? Well firstly there isn't that much fic and when it is it seems pretty... Tame.

Is this because fan works fix problems in canon and when representation isn't an issue fandom doesn't have to fill in the gap?

* with the honourable exceptions of Good Omens. And of course Hannibal. God bless that show's horny heart.

[bowenandjohnson]

I tried my hand at writing fic for the first time in a long time. It would be great if you could send me some love!

[sabrina-spellman]

Humbly requesting the Kastle & Guznadia fic links plzzzz

youre so sweet lol sorry for the late reply today was a suck-ish day lol

all of my fav kastle fics are by punkynemo on AO3 and the BEST is “be my saviour and I’ll be your downfall” but I’ll add more below. But tbh the entire ao3 tag for kastle is ART, some of the best fic I’ve ever read has been from that fandom

Be my saviour and I'll be your downfall (truly one of the best pieces of writing I’ve ever read PERIODT)To make the angels weep Beneath the black and blue Ballads for a dead man (it’s a 3 part series thats *chefs kiss*) 

Guznadia has some of the best videos I’ve ever seen. the fic is a bit hard to come by but I found some gems 

Elite s2 series (a five part series) here it's never ending (can't remember when it started)he wants herhaunted (*this one HURTS in the best of ways)temptations 

[carladuquette]

Close your eyes, count to ten// chapter 30

Lu-centric future fic, this time featuring Guznadia and Lubeka (of course).

"Every time I wanted to strangle Melanie, I just took a deep breath and walked away," Lu said. "I had the 'emotional bandwith' to deal with her without being a bitch. That's how Dr. Ferreira would put it. Not the bitch part, but the rest. Had this shit show happened three months ago, I would've completely lost my shit by like the middle of the day and had to go home. But now…" Lu looked away from Rebe and busied her hands with wiping down the counter. "I guess I'm in a more zen place or whatever."

She turned around to face Rebe with a bright smile. "So I figured we should cheers to me not killing the intern! Hence the mango margaritas."

Rebe could tell Lu was trying to play the situation off as a bit of a joke. But that's not what it was.

"I'm proud of you." She looked Lu straight in the eye, her voice softening. "And I'm glad you're doing better."

[diez-minutos]

Time

Requests: I wish you would write a fic where we have a double date with omander and guznadia & Could you write something about Guzman and Nadia like right where season 2 ends of and what will happen with them

Pairs: Guzmán x Nadia // Omar x Ander

“What would you say if I said I wanted to go on a date?” Nadia casually mentioned in the hall.

“A date?” Guzmán tried to hide his excitement.

She nodded. “A real one.”

“Consider it done.” He gave her a quick kiss.

“You wanna go out tonight?” Omar stroked Ander’s back as they laid in bed.

“I really don’t want to go to the club tonight.”

“Not the club...more like…a date? At a restaurant or something.”

“Sure, Hon.” Omar couldn’t hold back his grin.

The second they walked in the restaurant, Guzmán turned to leave again. “No. I can’t do this.”

“Come on.” Nadia grabbed his arm. “He’s your best friend. Let’s just try to talk this out.”

“Nadia. This isn’t a date...it’s an intervention.”

“We’ll have our date, but the two of you have been miserable for weeks. Omar and I just want to help you fix it.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Really wishing we were at the club right now,” Ander whispered in Omar’s ear.

“Let’s just try and if it’s awful-”

“Which it it will be.”

Omar glared at him. “Let’s try and then we’ll go home, okay?” Omar squeezed Ander’s hand.

“Okay.”

A waiter led the four to a table towards the back of the restaurant.  They quietly took their seats and looked over their menus. After a few uncomfortable moments of silence, Ander looked up at Guzmán. “How have you been?”

“Don’t.”

“Guzmán-”

“You lied to me.” His voice was tense. He was angrier than Ander ever remembered seeing him.

“I know,” Ander swallowed slowly. “And I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Omar noticed Ander’s knee bouncing up and down under the table. He could sense how upset this conversation was making his boyfriend. Why did he do this to him? Maybe this was a mistake.

“It was an impossible situation,” Omar finally spoke.

“Omar,” Nadia hissed. They promised they wouldn’t but in the conversation or take sides. This was for Guzmán and Ander, not them. 

“He was. There was no right answer. Polo manipulated him and-”

“And he lied to me. That’s all there is to it.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Omar, stop,” Nadia nudged him.

“Ander felt like hell for weeks! It was killing him! He wanted to tell you.”

“I should have told you. I know that.”

Guzmán didn’t know what else to say. He glanced at Nadia. She nodded comfortingly. He sighed deeply. “It just felt...when I found out you were hiding his secret, it felt like maybe you were picking him or that he was more important to you or something…”

“Guzmán, we’re best friends. No one could come between us. Polo doesn’t mean anything to me, not anymore.” Guzmán nodded slowly. “I’m not expecting everything to just go back to normal right away. I know that’s not realistic, but...if you could think about it…”

“I need time.”

“Of course,” Nadia rubbed his shoulder. “We know.”

“Everything has just been so hard recently.” He glanced at the three of them and he knew they understood, and even if they didn’t they were trying to. Fuck Guzmán thought. This is making it so much more difficult to hate Ander right now. “I want to forgive you, but I’m not in that place yet,” Guzmán said quietly before calmly standing up and leaving the restaurant.

“I’m sorry, Ander,” Nadia sighed. “I thought this would help, but…”

“It did. It’s a start. Thank you.” He turned to his boyfriend. “Thank you.” He gave him a quick kiss.

“Let’s go,” Omar stood and offered Ander his hand.

“Gracias, Nadia.”

When Nadia finally gathered her emotions and managed to get the courage, she texted Guzmán. 

Where did you go?

Cafe. Sorry.

She took a deep breath and made the short walk to her favorite cafe a few blocks over. When she stepped inside, she immediately found her boyfriend. He was the only customer, but still forced himself into a seat tucked in the back corner of the building.

“Lo siento.” She sat across from him.

“I got your favorite,” he gently nudged a mug in front of her. Even when he was upset, he remembered the little things.

“Lo siento,” she repeated. “I really thought it would help.”

“I know you did.”

“Hey,” she reached her hand across the table. She interlaced her fingers with his. “We finally got our date.”

Guzmán let out a soft laugh. “Yeah, we did.”

[cygnetofthesea]

Floating Above the Depths

Netflix’s Elite Fanfic. I was asked to write a fic where Guzman almost drowns in an alcoholic stupor and Nadia, Omar and Ander saves him and helps him rehabilitate. Warning: it is a bit dark and I’ve included tags accordingly. If any of this is triggering and uncomfortable, please do no proceed with reading this. Otherwise, feel free and hope you enjoy this.

To the anon that requested this story, thank you for the idea and I hope you enjoy it! <3

Denial.

They say it's the first stage of grief. Guzman's parents were both very much stuck in that state despite it being two months since Marina…he could barely even form the words in his head.

But it's like when they tell you not to think of an elephant and that's the first place your mind goes to. The elephant. And try as he might, the words flicker in his mind against his will.

Marina��s murder.

He clenches his eyes in anguish. Maybe a part of him was still in denial. But no. The reality was that he, on the other hand, was firmly in stage four: depression.

That cold, sinking feeling as though there was no hope for sunlight consumed his every waking moment. He's taken to drinking himself into a stupor on a regular basis at this point just to get himself to sleep, but he's haunted even there.

The blue tinge in her skin, the dark, thick blood that was smeared across her temple…he could see it as clear as day every time he closed his eyes. He'd never see his baby sister smile again, never hear her laughter in the house, never banter with her. His precious sister that he had tried so hard to protect. From foes and from herself.

But he had failed. In those last moments when she needed him most, he turned his back on her. Goddamn, even the skinny kid fought for her harder than he had. He was her brother and a fucking failure. He even managed to lose Nadia in the process, the one person he was ever in love with. He was a mess of a person and didn't deserve Marina or Nadia.

He thinks about how Marina teased him endlessly the day she found out he was in love with Nadia.

"You want to hug her, you want to kiss her, you want to looove her," she sang, dancing around him as he tried to make lunch for himself.

"Shut up," he mumbled even as a smile broke across his face.

She paused her dancing to look at him carefully before her eyes widened. "Oh my god. Guzman, you really do love her, don't you?"

"I…" He had already admitted it to himself and he was not ashamed of his love for her, but he didn't want to give Marina the satisfaction as she looked at him smugly.

"My, my, my looks like my big brother finally grew a heart. And what a miracle, it wasn't for that witch Lucretia." She said her name with such disdain, he couldn't help the chuckle.

"I never saw Lu like that," he said truthfully.

"Thank god," Marina said, rolling her eyes before perking up. "Well, now I'll actually be really happy about you getting married!"

"Relax Marina, I can barely get a date with Nadia. I'm fighting against her father and Nadia."

"Yeah well, I think you two were meant for each other. Nadia will come around, she's just working through some things and I think she needs a moment to figure out who she is and own it. She's a confident girl, but I don't think even she realizes just how amazing and powerful she is."

Guzman looked at Marina with a soft smile. "That was really nice."

"Well, it's true."

"Oh, you won't catch me denying that," he said, sighing heavily. "I just wish she would see it. Even if we don't get together, I just want her to be happy and live the life she deserves, you know?"

She patted him affectionately on the back. "That's called love, darling brother of mine. And that is exactly why I know things will work out for you guys. Nadia may not know it yet, but she has feelings for you. And once she realizes them, I'm going to have worry about little Guzmans and Nadias running around."

Guzman shook his head skeptically. "Yeah, not for a while, I don't think."

"Yeah, but someday. Yours and Nadia's kids are going to be best friends with mine and…"

"With yours and the waiter’s?" Guzman supplied helpfully. "I'm only say this once…maybe he's not as bad as I thought."

Marina looked outside for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Are you alright?" Guzman asked.

Marina turned back with a sad smile. "Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you finally came around to Samuel. He is pretty wonderful. And deserves so much better," she added almost to herself.

Guzman leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at her. "Better than you? Marina, please, you're the one too good for him. He better not forget it either or I'm going to have to have a serious talk with him." He cracked his knuckles with a smirk.

Marina rolled her eyes and smiled. "You are a Neanderthal. You're lucky Nadia can somehow see past that."

"Let's hope. After all, your kids are relying on us to provide them with best friends aren't they?"

That day was just two months ago and yet it feels like a lifetime. Guzman feels as though he was choking on his own breath as he thinks about that day. How was he supposed to go on? How was he supposed to move on with his life, grow old, have a job, maybe even get married? How could anyone even expect that of him when his sister would never get to experience any of that? He was going to grow older every day and Marina would be forever sixteen.

His sister, who had always wanted that more than he did. She was the one with ambitious dreams of being a revolutionary, falling hopelessly in love and filling a house with happy children.

That's what finally broke the numbness. The thought that he'd never get to be an uncle to Marina's kids. He didn't even deserve to be a father. A whimper escapes his lips before a hard sob wracks his body. And before he knows it, his entire body is convulsing and he can barely hold onto the bottle of rum he had brought with him to the pier.

It was one of Marina's favorite places to visit when they were kids. They'd sneak out there because their parents has forbade it, but it was always a beautiful sight at the pier, no matter the season. He'd come there every day since her death just to feel close to her in some way.

But in that moment, as he stood there, he didn't feel close to her. All he felt was despair.

He looks down at the water below him and thinks maybe that’s what he needs. A nice swim to feel weightless, just for a moment. Let water surround him and carry him into a dark abyss where he can finally find peace at last.

He yearns for that feeling, for peace and it's what make him drop the empty bottle of rum onto the boardwalk. He doesn't even register the sound of the glass shattering against the wood, his eyes fixated on the dark waters below him. It was a beautiful sunny day and the water sparkles against his sallow reflection.

He'd be ok, he thinks as he climbs up. His usual finesse was gone but he's none the wiser and before he knows it, there's a splash as he hits the water. He thinks he's moving his arms, wading in the coldness, but suddenly his arms feel too heavy, his body too heavy. He can’t seem to move. He doesn’t mind though and when his lungs feel like they're burning up, he's ok with that too. At least he can feel something.

And slowly, slowly, his eyes shut and there's only peace.

"Shit! Guzman!"

Ander whips his head around at the sound of Omar shouting. His heart jumps in his throat as he follows his gaze. He doesn't see anything, but he runs over to Omar anyway, the picnic basket jostling on his arm. He sees Omar kick off his shoes before diving into the water.

"Omar!" Ander shouts. His eyes scan the water in confusion, wondering what has Omar panicking. He drops the picnic basket onto the ground and scrambles to the edge of the beach, his eyes tracking Omar's movement.

"Omar!" he shouts again. He sees Omar dive under water and waits with bated breath for him to resurface. His heart thumps uncomfortably in his chest and he begins kicking off his own sneakers when he finally sees Omar break the surface.

But he wasn't alone. He can't tell from his vantage point, but Ander sees Omar dragging a body closer to shore.

No, no, no, he thinks. Oh god no, please, not another dead person.

When Omar gets closer, Ander splashes into the water to help him and it's only then he sees just who Omar was pulling to safety.

"Oh god, Guzman!"

He takes ahold of Guzman's torso as Omar keeps a steady grip underneath Guzman's armpits.

"Shit, what the fuck happened?" Ander gasps, hefting some of Guzman's weight. His muscles clench under the weight of Guzman's dead weight and the water soaked in their clothes.

Omar drags Guzman onto the beach, gasping. "I-I don't know," he splutters. "I was waiting for you and then I saw him fall into the water."

Ander checks for Guzman's pulse, his own thrumming against his skin. "I think he's still got a pulse, but it's weak."

"We need to get the water out of his lungs," Omar says.

Ander tries to calm his heartbeat and remember the CPR class he had to take when he briefly joined the swim team with Guzman. It had been years since he had to practice CPR, but he clenches his eyes shut and gets to work.

Pinch the nose, breath into the mouth, pump the chest to the beat of Stayin' Alive. It was a silly thought that entered his mind, but it was enough to get him to do something.

Please, please work.

He pinches Guzman's nose and breathes into his mouth, tasting the lake's water and traces of rum against Guzman's lips. It makes him want to gag, but he could only imagine what Guzman was feeling with that water clogged in his lungs.

Or maybe he wasn't feeling anything because he's dying.

"Ander. Is it working?" Omar asks, feeling helpless himself.

"I don't know." Ander laces his fingers together and pumps against Guzman's chest. "C'mon, Guzman. Wake up. Wake the fuck up. It's not your time."

Ander pinches Guzman's nose again and breathes into his mouth. His laces his fingers again and begins pumping. "Come on, you asshole. You know you were always better at this than I. Sing that stupid song."

Omar brushes the wet hair from Guzman's eyes and pleads. "Come on, pretty boy. You gotta make it or my sister's going to kill me. You can't do this to Nadia."

They both look down at Guzman who was so still, the panic slowly rising again. "Guzman." Ander's voice breaks and he can feel the hot tears building in his eyes. "You fucker, wake up."

But there was no movement. Desperately, Ander tries again and pinches Guzman's nose. When he begins pumping his chest again, it's with more vigor and he vaguely wonders if it'll leave a bruise. "Come on, wake up."

Omar watches Ander desperately trying to revive Guzman and the panic settles into his chest. But this time it’s because he thinks of his sister. What the hell was he supposed to tell his sister?

Suddenly Guzman jerks, coughing violently against the water that spurts from his mouth.

"Fucking hell," Omar sighs. He sits back heavily as Ander tries to calm Guzman down.

When Guzman finally settles down, he looks up at them bewildered. "What happened?" he rasps.

Omar and Ander share a look before Ander looks down at Guzman. "You uh, you fell into the water."

But there was something in Ander's voice that sounded like doubt and Omar catches it. Perhaps because Omar had doubts himself. It was no secret that Guzman wasn't dealing with Marina's death well, much as he liked to pretend he was fine. But was Guzman so filled with despair that he would actually take his own life? How could he do that to his parents?

"Nadia."

Omar looks at Guzman, who was slowly closing his eyes again. He looks so pale and sick. "What about her?"

"Nadia," Guzman repeats weakly.

Ander touches Guzman's face and feels his heated skin. "He's really burning up."

Omar looks at Ander. "We have to help him, but I don't think it's a good idea to take him home. His parents are a wreck already, they don't need to see him like this."

Ander nods. "Yeah, I agree. I'll call and say he's saying over with me."

"We should take him to my sister. She'll know what to do."

Ander looks at him in silent agreement before moving Guzman.

Nadia looks up at the sound of the store bell ringing above. She had her tailored "friendly store owner" voice ready only to be greeted by her brother. The smile drops from her face at his haggard appearance.

She scrambles around the side of the counter and grabs his arms. "Omar, what happened to you? Why are you wet?" she demands.

Omar simply grips her shoulders in reply. "Are mom and dad back yet?"

"No, they don't get back from the conference until tomorrow night. Why, what's going on? Can you tell me why you look like this, Omar?"

"It's Guzman. He's sick and we need your help."

Nadia's breath catches in her throat. Guzman? She hadn't spoken to him since their fight. Her heart picks up its pace just at the thought of him before Omar's words register.

"‘We’? Who's we?"

But Omar is already walking back out of the store and towards a car that she only just noticed. She follows him out and sees Ander climb out of the driver's seat, half-wet himself.

"What the hell is going on?" she asks him. "Did you guys all go out for a swim or something?"

Ander answers her as he pulls open the back door. "Guzman j-fell…fell into the lake and almost drowned. He's breathing and we got the water out of his lungs but he might be sick. The lake's water isn't exactly prime for drinking."

"What?" Nadia gasps. She walks over to Ander and spots Guzman's pale and unconscious face over Ander's shoulder. "Oh my god."

She steps out of the way as Ander and Omar pull him out and carries him toward the front door of the store. Nadia runs to get the door to let them in before shutting it behind them. She quickly locks the door and flips the sign so it says 'CLOSED.'

"Wait, why aren't we taking him to the hospital? If he's sick and almost drowned, he needs medical attention." But despite her words, she leads them toward her room, which was closest.

"Nadia, if we take him to the hospital then they'll have to call his parents and that's the last thing they need right now," Ander says, settling Guzman on her bed.

"Yeah, but it'll be worse if there's something seriously wrong and he becomes severely sick."

Omar heads out of the room. "I don't think it's that serious," he calls back. "It's like the time I almost drowned and you took care of me." He walks back in with a change of clothes.

"Wait, before you change him, take him to the bath," Nadia says, her eyes never straying from Guzman's face. He looked so pale and sick, she thinks. She thinks of a quick prayer to Allah. Please, let him be ok. "We should give him a quick rinse."

Ander and Omar carry him to the bathroom and settles him in the tub. Nadia kneels over the tub and quickly works on the buttons on Guzman's shirt.

"Help me with his clothes."

Together, they get him down to his underwear and use the shower hose and liquid soap to give him a quick wash to get the lake water off of him. As the boys work to wash his legs and torso, Nadia sits by his head for a moment.

She feels that familiar ache in her chest as she looks down at his face. That sweet face that she never wanted to admit was so captivating. When she first saw him, she barely gave him a second thought, let alone a second glance. She was so focused on the splendor of the new school and all the opportunities it would bring for her that she couldn't be easily distracted by a pretty face.

But then that pretty face got in hers and made her look at him and soon, she wasn't just looking at him, she was seeing him. That was a shock in of itself, but then suddenly she felt seen too. By this pretty, rich asshole of all people. He was seeing her with those soft, loving eyes. Believing in her potential and purpose more than anyone else in her life. How had that even been possible?

But now that sweet face looked as pale as death and so thin. A wave of guilt washes over her and she wants to cry as she thinks about their fight. She had found out that he made a deal with her father and that's why he was pushing her away. She thought if she showed him she didn't care what her father thought or what his rules were, they could go back to being…well friends at the very least.

If there was something Nadia hated the most, it was men deciding what her fate would be. Men deciding what was and wasn't right for her. That was something that her father and Guzman both had in common and she didn't think either would like having anything in common at all. But there it was. Two of the three important men in her life were determined to dictate just what kind of life she needed to live, taking away her choice, her agency.

When she found out and confronted him, things had gotten way more heated than she intended. She never meant to get angry. He was already dealing with enough as it was with Marina's death, he didn't need a friend abandoning him. But then he had spewed vitriol back at her, telling her that he wasn't worth the trouble and if she couldn’t see that then she was stupider than he thought. It escalated fast and beyond what she was anticipating and she tried to be understanding, tried to see that he was hurting and what he was saying was a result of that pain. But still, the words wounded her and she couldn't stand to look at him anymore. Especially not when he was looking back at her in a way that was so unfamiliar. All the progress they had made seemed to have vanished, as though they never existed to begin with.

But sitting there by the tub as she tried to get his hair clean of the lake water, she saw the face she recognized.

She gently cups his face between her hands. "Guzman," she whispers.

He says nothing and simple stirs in the tub, his head lolling to give into her touch. He nuzzles against her hand for a moment before going still again. She doesn't catch the way Ander and Omar are looking at her in sympathy. Guzman and Nadia were like yin and yang: so different from one another, but so right for each other. They shared a fiery passion but experienced and expressed them in different ways that complemented one another.

Ander places a comforting hand on Nadia's shoulder. "He's going to be ok."

Nadia nods jerkily, caught off guard before pouring water over his head. She believed Guzman would get over the cold from the lake, but he has been in a dark place for a long time—well before his dip in the lake and she wondered if he'd recover from that.

The first thing Guzman registers is the feel of his head pounding painfully. He was barely conscious and he felt like death, but the horrible throbbing in his head reminded him that he was very much alive.

As if the splitting headache wasn't enough, his torso felt sore as though he had gotten into a fight and clearly lost. Had he gotten into a fight? He couldn't remember. Then again, he could barely remember anything these days. He lived in a self-induced fog and he wasn't ready to resurface anytime soon. Or maybe it was because he hadn't allowed himself to resurface that he was feeling this awful.

"Fuck," he groans softly.

He feels a warm hand against his forehead and his heart leaps in his chest as he jerks.

"Hey, it's ok. You're ok," says a voice softly. Nadia.

He turns toward the oh so slowly and carefully opens his eyes. Mercifully the room was dimly lit with most of the light coming from the moon through the window, but he spots her right away.

"Nadia." His throat burns as though he had been screaming for hours and it hurt to speak.

She clearly detected his discomfort as she reached for a glass of water and two white pills.

"Here, take these. You'll feel better." She kept her voice very low and he was grateful. His eyes felt like they would pulse out of his sockets from the pain.

He struggles to lift his head up enough so she brings the pills to his lips before guiding the water into his mouth. She uses her other hand to gently tilt his head up.

"Is this ok?"

He hums in reply as he swallows the pills. He wants nothing more than to keep looking at her, to take in her beautiful face and catch a rare moment of her hair out of its braid, but his eyelids felt so heavy and shut almost against his will.

There was quiet as he took a moment to take in the situation. He was lying in an unfamiliar room in pain and clearly with a hangover. Nadia was with him in a dark room and he had no idea what happened or how he got there. He wasn't thrilled with the position he was in, least of all that Nadia was here to witness it. Just what had he done in front of her?

"What happened?" he finally asks.

He hears her sigh before replying. "Um, Ander and Omar brought you here. They said you fell from the pier and into the water. You almost drowned, Guzman."

"So, I was unsuccessful," he says wryly.

There was a tense silence and even though he couldn't see her face, he imagined it wasn't good.

"Guzman—"

"I was kidding, Nadia, don't freak out. I'm still here. Just as God had wanted me."

"I can't tell whether you're joking or not, but either way, I am not loving this conversation."

The throbbing pain in his head mercifully abates somewhat, the medicine finally beginning to kick in. He turns toward Nadia again and opens his eyes. With a smirk he says, "Then why don’t we stop talking and start doing more enjoyable things? The mood is already set."

Nadia sets her jaws and looks at him with that familiar stern face. She was not taking his shit.

"You can try to joke all you like, act like you're this invincible being that doesn't feel anything, but Guzman, all you're doing is proving the opposite. What were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking by doing what? I fell, Nadia, by your own admission."

"Bullshit," she bursts out quietly. They both seem to startle at that. Nadia wasn't exactly prone to foul language, unlike Guzman.

"Wow, I really must have hit a nerve."

She opens her mouth as though to say something before closing it and pressing her lips into a thin line. "You should have some of this soup."

She reaches over to a bowl on the bedside table and brings it to him.

"I'm not hungry," he says, despite not having eaten since the day before.

She looks at him sharply. "I don't care. You're eating this because you need to get better."

"Why do you care?"

She sets the bowl back down before adjusting the pillows behind him. He watches her all the while, breathing in her scent, and he wants to punch himself for being such an ass. Just because he hated himself, didn't mean she deserved to be treated with that resentment.

"Only Allah knows," she mutters.

"I'm-I'm sorry," he says softly.

She keeps her hands at the ready as he slowly sits up, but doesn't look him in the eyes.

"Yeah? What for this time?"

"Everything."

"Yeah, that's not how apologies work. You can't just put out a blanket 'sorry' that's supposed to make up for everything. So what exactly this time?"

Somehow he lets out a weak chuckle. "You're going to be an amazing diplomat one day. I can see it."

She looks at him then, bringing the soup back into her hands. "Well, you can only see it if you decide to stick around long enough."

That makes him look away again. "I'm going to ask you again, Guzman. What were you thinking today? Do you have any idea how much you scared us? I wasn't there when it all happened, but if you saw the state of Omar and Ander when they brought you in here…it was awful. And then seeing you like that…"

He feels a twinge in his chest and it takes him a moment to recognize it: remorse. Not just toward Nadia but Ander and Omar. Huh, it appears he was capable of feeling still and not just for Nadia.

"Look, I know what it sounds like and what it probably looked like, but I wasn’t trying to off myself. I was drunk and stupidly thought I would be ok. I didn't mean to put you all through that."

"Then don't ever do it again!"

He winces at her raised voice and she lets out a sigh. "Can you just eat some of this? You're not going to get any better if you don't and I don't care how you feel about yourself right now, but you're not going to wither away on my watch."

He takes the bowl from her and gingerly takes a spoonful into his mouth. It was amazing and before he knew it, he was taking in more.

"Where's Ander and Omar?"

Nadia rubs her forehead and sighs. "They went out to get some dinner. I said I'd watch you."

"I'm glad. You're a hell of a prettier sight than those two."

"Wish I could say the same about you. Have you seen yourself lately?"

He lets the spoon clatter in the empty bowl, his stomach suddenly in knots. "I can't exactly stand to look at myself these days, so no, I haven't."

Nadia takes the empty bowl from him and sets it back on the bedside table. "Look, I know you blame yourself for what happenedー"

"Don't you?"

Nadia looks at him with wide eyes. "What are you talking about? How could you say that?"

"How can you not? Nadia, I am…was her brother. I was her brother and I turned my back on her."

The thick ball in his throat returned and he felt like he could choke on his own breath. His nose began to burn as he looks at Nadia pleadingly. Pleading for what, he didn't know. To tell him that it was his fault or to understand that he was in so much pain and he didn't know what to do about it?

Nadia swallows thickly, her own eyes burning with unshed tears. Slowly, she reaches over and takes his hand in hers.

"Guzman, there aren't a whole lot of people that fight as fiercely as you do. At least I don’t know of one. Not just for yourself, but for the people you love most in the world." She leans closer, silently urging him to meet her eyes. "So trust me when I say, you did everything you could."

He looks up at her, hot tears falling silently down his cheeks. "I wish I had as much faith in me that you do."

"Tell me something. What was your favorite thing about Marina? I know what mine was."

"What's that?" he asks softly.

"That she was so passionate and headstrong. It was truly inspiring." Nadia pauses before swallowing again, the ache in her chest returning. "What about yours?"

Another tear slips down his cheek and he has to grit his teeth before replying. "That was probably what I found most annoying about her. But still, I was proud of the fact that she was so strong even as a little girl. I always felt a need to protect her, but deep down, I was grateful that she knew how to fend for herself. Until…"

"Did I ever tell you about my sister?"

Guzman furrows his brows as he shakes his head. "I didn’t know you had a sister."

Nadia nods slowly, looking away. "That night when I brought you to Samuel's party, you were so worried about Marina and even though the last thing I wanted to do was take you to my friend's party, I did. Not for you, but for Marina. She reminded me so much of my sister, so beautiful and bold and carefree, and I understood your need to protect Marina. I wasn't able to do anything to help my sister, but I thought maybe I could help you try with yours."

"What happened to her?"

Nadia shrugs. "She ran away from home. Didn’t tell any of us. We don’t know what happened or where she went, she's just gone. And ever since then, I lived with the regret of not being a better sister. For making her feel ashamed of who she was that she felt like she couldn't confide in me before she went…wherever she went. So when I saw the opportunity to help your sister, I did because I thought that maybe it would make up for the fact that I wasn’t there for mine all those years ago."

Guzman looks at her, his heart aching for her. He hadn't known they were both mourning a sister. "I'm so sorry, Nadia."

She looks back at him wiping away the tears that she didn’t even realize had fallen. She smiles weakly at him and wipes his own tears away.

"I didn’t tell you so you could feel sorry for me or so that I could tell you your feelings don't make sense. I get it, Guzman, I get the obligation you feel toward a beloved sister, but what you have to grasp at the end of the day is that you cannot control someone. You are not a puppet master, least of all, of someone as headstrong as Marina. She was fiercely independent and she was going to make the choices she made with or without your interference. It is not a reflection of you and you did not fail as a brother. You did everything you could, you tried to keep her safe. Even when she wouldn’t accept it."

Nadia spoke about fierceness, about Marina's strength, but as Guzman looks into her red-rimmed eyes, he could only see hers and for the first time in so long, the ache in his chest eased. It was slight, but it was there.

"Thank you," he says softly. "For reminding me of the best of my sister and not the girl everyone sees her as now."

"Anytime, Guzman. Truly." She squeezes his hand. "Please, just don't do anything like that again. Things aren't going to change and look better overnight, but the important thing is to try, ok? I'm really worried about you and you need to acknowledge that things are not ok, but that they will be."

"It's really hard some days. Most days."

"It's going to be like that and that's why you need to accept help. Whether it's from a trained professional or your friends. We're all here for you."

"I don't know if Ander and Omar are too fond of me at the moment."

"Why, because of the fight you had with Ander? If you think he's going to hold that over your head then you don’t know your friend very well." She moves to grab her phone. "Speaking of, I didn't think they were going to be long."

Just then they hear the front door open.

"Ander? Omar?" Nadia calls out.

Ander passes by the doorway on his way to the dining room. "Hey Nadia," he calls out. "Sorry, we're late, there was a long line at the restaurant."

Nadia looks over to Guzman. "How do you feel? Do you think you can make it to the dining room and join us for dinner?"

"I feel like shit. But if that's kebab I smell then yeah, I'll make it."

Nadia chuckles and holds out her hand. "Come on."

They walk hand-in-hand to the dining room with Nadia supporting some of Guzman's weight as he still felt weak on his feet. When they reach the doorway, Omar and Ander look up.

"Guzman!" Ander drops the takeout container he had pulled out of the bag and rushed over to them. He pulled Guzman into a tight hug that reminded him of the soreness in his chest.

"Ander," Guzman wheezes even as he wraps his own arms around his best friend.

Ander releases him but keeps him close. "You fucker, you scared the shit out of us."

Guzman lets out a small smile. "I'm really sorry. But hey, it looks like you got to see me naked so at least I made it interesting."

Ander lets out a chuckle and shoves his shoulder. "There he is. Come and eat. We got your favorite just in case you were up for some real food."

But before Guzman moves any further he looks over to Omar. "Thank you," he says. "To all of you. I know I don't deserve—"

"Oh my god, would you shut up about that?" Nadia says, pulling out a container from the bag. "Is this the eggplant?"

Guzman walks closer. "Ok fine. Whatever I deserve or don't deserve, I'm really grateful for all of you. I would do anything to keep you guys safe."

Ander nods. "We know."

Omar steps over and pulls Guzman into a hug. He doesn't say anything as he holds Guzman in his arms, but there an unspoken understanding. You matter to me.

Omar pulls away and flicks him on the nose before moving to sit beside Ander. "My sister would kill me if something happened to me and I actually don't hate the idea of having you as a brother-in-law."

Eyes wide Nadia swats him with the takeout menu. "Omar, shut up or I'm going to stuff that big mouth with this."

Omar raises his hands in surrender. "Don't shoot the messenger."

Nadia rolls her eyes and shoves Guzman away when he scoots his chair closer to her. "Don't get any ideas."

But even as she stuffs her mouth with eggplant, Guzman can see the blush creep up her neck and for the first time in a while, he feels the flutter that makes him feel human again.

Omar places a plate of kebabs and rice in front of him and as Guzman looks around at this small, rag-tag group of people in this tiny kitchen that was unlike anything he had ever been in, he thinks of how he should consider himself lucky. It would be an uphill battle against the darkness that lives inside him, but with them in his life, he'd find a way to fight it.

[mytrashs-blog]

So we're all collectively gonna forget that Season 4 of Élite ever happened, right???

SEND ME FLUFFY OMANDER, CARMUEL AND GUZNADIA FICS TO FIX THIS BULLSHIT PLEASE

[broashwhat]

500 followers celebration

Thank you so much for following my blog! I have finally reached 500 followers! This fandom is my light in a dark place as well as bellarke and 100. Send me and ask if you would like to request one of the following with the emojis you choose. Yes you can request more than one. Also like and reblog.

💌 for a moodboard of any fic that is written or being wrote for a friend or you.

💓 for a mood board and prompt (you can request something or ask me to come up with one)

😍 for a compliment on your blog (for followers only)

🎵 for a playlist on spotify (for followers only)

💘 for a compliment on what I love about you personally (followers only)

Tagging a few friends I usually tag for bfsn @mmstorytracker @niyennor @nvermindiseeyou @bellarkatie @river-kom-spacekru @blvke-bellamy @guznadia @starboybellamy @kombellarke @pawprinterfanfic @eyessharpweaponshot @geekyogicheese @daenerya @pendragaryen @moonshoesreyes @joanna-lannister @captainwilldameron @shippingenthusiast @catastrophic-chloe @shaeheda @octaviadblake @swainlake @carrieeve @junebugninja @hellyeahbellarkee @hostagetakerandhistraitor @sallysimpsons @allthingsfandom101 @biconicclarkeyg @natassakar @captain-effy @iishallbelieve @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky @bellamyfknblake @goddess-clarke @angstybleuskies @bellamysgriffinprincess @the1oo @piningbellarke @clarkgriffon @bcllamy @queen-of-the-wallflowers15 @animmortalist @johnmurphysass @talistheintrovert @important-metaphors @helloeurydice @wankadi @taylor-morley

[shaeheda]

happy bfsn! i've missed seeing all your beautiful faces 💖 i participated in the bob morley challenge over on twitter and thought i'd share my photo here as well!

thank you to @angstybleuskies @bellamysgriffinprincess @the1oo @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @queen-of-the-wallflowers15 @piningbellarke @sassmasterblake @carrieeve @river-kom-spacekru @igotbellarkeforthat @hellyeahbellarkee @brennanblue @biconicclarkeyg @famousflowermagazine for tagging me! you're all so wonderful!

can't believe this is going to be the last season! i'm a little nervous about how it will end to say the least, but no matter how it ends it's brought me to all of you beautiful, talented, and downright amazing humans and that's more than i could have ever hoped to get when i started this show!

hope everyone is taking care of themselves and staying safe right now! i haven't worked in over two months and therefore have been forced to attempt a multitude of hobbies to keep sane! i've updated 'why do you love me?' as well as writing other fics, making edits on instagram, and being an all around clown on twitter. what have you guys been doing to keep busy during quarantine?

tagging: @bellarkatie @whatscaitdoing @commandermadi @angstybleuskies @choose-wonkru @junebugninja @hostagetakerandhistraitor @icantloseyou-too @spacewalkerprincess @igotbellarkeforthat @skrrtbitch @bellarkyy @flawlessbellamy @wolfheartgirl @asroarke @wankadi @notsoplatonicsoulmates @charmainediyoza @blvke-bellamy @captainwilldameron @clarkesgrfin @deliciouswordvomit @joanna-lannister @lameblake @ohbellamy @octaviadblake @broashwhat @niyennor @mmstorytracker @murphystartedthefire @viviansternwood @yourereallyhere @nothing-but-sand-and-dust @kombellarke @guznadia @nightbleeder and anyone else i might have forgotten (pls don’t hate me) or anyone who wants to participate

[animmortalist-archive]

happy bfsn!!!

tagged by the amazing/iconic/outstanding: @broashwhat, @wolfheartgirl, @hellyeahbellarkee, @firelordozais, @cominguproses13x

I just wanna express my utmost gratitude and love for all the people in this fandom. you really make my experiences so wonderful and I will never stop being thankful for having met you. enjoy this sweet pic of a baby elephant and some birds hanging out. 

now, I’m feeling a bit nervous about the episode but I am mostly excited to go in without spoilers so!! let’s gooooooo!!

also, a psa that I’m participating in @bellarkefic-for-blm in which I will take prompts and write them in exchange for a donation that helps aid organizations that support blm. 

here are the other amazingly talented writers participating (and not all of them are just writing bellarke fic so check them out!!):  @burninghoneyatdusk | @nakey-cats-take-bathsss | @elora-lane | @sassmasterblake | @bellarkestitchdelena | @animmortalist | @useyourtelescope | @cominguproses13x | @changingthefairy-tale | @queen-of-the-wallflowers15 | @river-kom-spacekru | @queentheea | @that-english-nerd | @fanfictionworlds-blog | @excuseyouclarke | @bellarke-addict | @kletiworld | @ravenreyes-0g | @bellamythology | @asroarke | @mobi-on-a-mission | @easilydistractedbyfanfic | @osleyakomwonkru | @mareap

here’s my tag list! (though please consider yourself tagged if listed above and if you’d like to be added or taken off just dm me and I’ll do so!): @shaeheda, @queen-of-the-wallflowers15, @captainwilldameron, @broashwhat, @lameblake, @hellyeahbellarkee, @legendarybellamy, @sassmasterblake, @biconicclarkeyg, @shippingenthusiast, @octaviadblake, @guznadia, @wankadi, @bellamyfknblake, @hostagetakerandhistraitor, @clarkesplaylist