#but yeah. maybe. maybe love love and devotion and it doesnt have to be romantic

[vanyafresita]

my si-5 designs ! maybe i draw later the hephaestus crew too...

anyways after making this to have as a reference for whenever i want to draw them, imma yap here under the read more all i want about my headcanons for them (cracks fingers)

alana maxwell is very saeyoung from mystic messenger coded, thats why i gave her the dr pepper can lmfao

also she is literally aroace i wont take criticism for this one

to me she's transfem too, but i only like to think about that if jacobi is ALSO trans bcs i love me a t4t queerplatonic relationship

she forgets to eat often so shes a lil underweight- but its okay kepler and jacobi will make sure she doesnt actually faint from hunger

she is also taller than jacobi i tihnk she would b like... 176cm or so... jacobi is like 170cm and kepler is around 185cm

she also doesnt have a lot of scars on her body since she gets protected when working on a laptop by the other two during ops (or she is working as a sniper, and thus she isnt a direct target most of the time)

unlike kepler who prefers hand to hand combat, or jacobi who joins him and also messes around with chemicals and explosives often

absolutely random thought, but alana is canadian to me ! warren is american and jacobi is chilean (i am latino, me reservo el derecho de latinificar a un personaje por cada obsesión que tenga xoxoxo)

jacobi wears a hearing aid on his right ear too btw !! an accident with a small explosive left the right side of his face and his ear damaged !

jacobi paints his nails too (he actually doesnt, its alana the one who does, jacobi has a terrible case of shaky hands)

both maxwell and jacobi wear glasses, but while maxwell uses them 24/7, jacobi just.... does not care. they keep getting broken one way or another so he doesnt bother... he can see from up close, so who cares ! (at some point tho, he get convinced to get eye surgery, so he obliges)

okay switching to kepler's sexuality... he is aro and very horny for jacobi we all know this like. its very obvious i fear.... like... yeah

jacobi is bi... i feel like he had a crush on alana at first, but the closer he got to her something changed and, believe me, he does love her A LOT (probably more than kepler) just not in a romantic way !! ergo: qpps

and because jacobi is a masochistic idiot of course he fell in love with his evil boss CMON MAN GET BETTER TASTE <- alana to daniel

kepler probably doesnt date tho, most likely he doesnt feel like it would mean much making official any type of relationship they have (aka 'we fuck sometimes, i try my best to be considerate of ur feelings, i dont feel jealousy seeing you being close with maxwell, and i wanna keep her close too'), while jacobi is like. biting his nails trying not to die from love but he knows dating ur boss is not a good path to go down (its already bad they are fucking behind everybody's back- except alana, he cannot keep secrets from alana)

i think the relationship these three have (at least in my head idc about yall's opinions LMAO) is absolutely insane and it makes me act like a rabid dog, i lose all coherence trying to explain how they make me feel

they are all in love with each other, just in very wildly different ways

i love thinking about jacobi and maxwell's closeness, how they care for each other, the vulnerability, the love, the devotion, how open they are and how little they care about how others perceive them

i love thinking about kepler actually trying to make an effort to be romantic, getting it wrong often, and then having to deal with jacobi being passive aggressive; WARREN JUST TELL HIM U DONT GET ROMANTIC LOVE, YOU JUST LIKE HIM AND WANNA MAYBE DATE AND DEFINITELY BANG, DONT BE STUPID

i love...... whatever the fuck kepler and maxwell have going on... not romantic or platonic, but a secret third thing.... the mutual respect and admiration, the overprotection feeling.....

jacobi is sooooo glad his two most favourite people in the world get on well, he'd die if kepler and maxwell weren't on good terms... but thank god all three of them are fucked up and obsessed, and insane and love each other

they all love to banter, they would kill each other, they would kill for the others, they cant stand to be near, they would die if they are apart, they need to be so close together you cant tell apart where one ends and the other stars

as a side note of my designs, i wanna comment how confused i was when i finished the podcast, checked the art tag, and saw most people draw warren kepler as a white man, like i got jumpscared ngl IM SORRYYYY

listen when i heard his honey voice... that cadence... he gave me this very clear image of distinguished bald tall black man, the image went straight to my brain and i have not been able to imagine him otherwise

and i keep seeing him drawn white and blond and with blue eyes and i feel SO SCARED like i have nothing against those designs but its so confusing because to me he is that type of attractive motherfucker that charms everybody around with a smile, that make people trust him blindly from how confident his posture and personality is... and to me (poc person) a white blond blue-eyed man does NOT inspire me trust lmfaoooo so i guess i may be biased ?

anyways i know warren kepler is a divisive character !!! he is so fucked up and complex and hot HE IS MY EVERYTHING im gonna throw up /pos im so obsessed with him... you evil bastard... youre my babygirl, ure so important to me, your war crimes and horrible morality is charming to me <3 i dont wanna fix him i wanna observe how he makes other people WORST (thinks 24/7 about the implication that he disciplines jacobi and maxwell in very creative ways)

okay anyways IM DONEEEE SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I DONT CARE ITS MY BLOG AND MY HEADCANONS AND ITS ALL UNDER A READ MORE SO I CAN YAP TO THE NOTHINGNESS AS MUCH AS I WANT OK BYEEE

[shallanigans]

oooh im so glad u watched dbd! yeah so charles, in the comics, is canon bisexual. he's also, in the show, a teen boy who died in the 80s. which. the AIDS crisis. the first person to die of AIDS in england did so in 1981. take that, and then pair it up with his reaction to edwin's confession, particularly what he says.

hes not closing the door to edwin or this opportunity--what he is doing, is saying that they have the rest of forever to figure this out. he's not wrong. he just needs for the two of them to be able to reach that forever first, and to do that they need to run up the stairs and away from the doll spider demon.

i think, for charles, who is so devoted to edwin, and clearly loves him above all else, the answer he gave was perfect--he cant say hes in love with edwin back, so he doesnt. he cant say hes in love with edwin back, because he doesnt know! as a bi person, ill say this. in my experience, there have been a few times, where there have been moments of, i dont know yet. and obviously that is not everyone's experience, and im not even saying that is charles' experience! but he loves edwin so much, and he wants to figure out if he loves edwin in a romantic way too--and to do that, he needs to think about it, and again, he cant do that on a stairway to hell running from a demon. perhaps, its even more than that--perhaps, he wants to figure out if he can. has he thought about his sexuality before? has he ever been attracted to a boy before? has he ever consciously been? maybe these are things he needs to think about. he likes girls, check. maybe he likes boys too? he's a detective, he'll figure it out.

i do think that expecting a love confession reciprocation (which we did get, it was just not a romantic one, and even then, it wasnt shut down forever) right away, and then not getting it, was not necessarily bad thing. ultimately, dbd is a story, a tv show, there are characters and then there is development--there is build up. so to not get that confession, it makes sense storytelling wise. because we havent gotten to see charles come to terms with his sexuality, or even think much about it (consciously), beyond being attracted to crytsal. (and. all those longing yearning loving looks directed at edwin lbr) we get to see edwin come to terms with his sexuality in s1. he was repressing pretty hard and wasnt even aware he was in love with charles. so, in the hopes we get a s2, maybe we'll find ourselves with a charles having an oh moment scene. id kill for that

I would absolutely love to see this, and I know in the show the love confession wasn't explicitly a shutdown. However, based on Edwin's comments to Niko that "it made us better friends"/that Charles didn't feel the same, and also based on comments from the showrunners about how they wanted to focus on the platonic friendship between them, I am not so optimistic.

In the case that it does happen, I'm frankly not looking forward to a several-season love triangle between Crystal, Edwin and Charles. Of course, I understand Charles not reciprocating Edwin's feelings immediately (and especially not in that setting). However, I really don't care for his romance with Crystal because I feel they have no chemistry. It annoyed me that Charles pretty much put the whole thing out of his mind afterwards and went back to wanting to be with Crystal for no real reason other than she's a girl who was a good friend to him. I understand that TV shows work like this, but I'm tired of love triangles in general. If Charles and Edwin don't get together (or at least Charles doesn't address Edwin's confession in some manner) in season 2 I probably won't be watching it. I've seen too many teen shows drag on with unnecessary romance drama between people who have no chemistry, and I don't want another one to add to the list.

[g0thsoojin]

🦇⛓️

today it hurts really really bad. my heart aches and my chest hurts. and i think of him and burst into tears. i love him so much i wanted him so bad. it all hurts sm bc at one point he talked and wanted me to be with him irl, to come to him. like he wanted that, it's not just my fantasy. but i didnt wanna be too impulsive, i didnt wanna make him promises i wasnt sure i could keep. bc so many ppl have hurt him and i didnt wanna give him hope and then tear it away. i did it out of consideration for him. i wanted to just give myself a chance to feel if i wanted to be with him or if i just wanted to run away from my life. but when i realized the truth in my heart; i love him, i want to be with him, i would face all my fears and issues and forcefully climb over any obstacles just to be with him. it was too late, and i couldnt tell him bc everytime i got closer to the realm of any of that romantic space, it felt like he pulled away and i didnt wanna push him too hard. but because i kept venting on my blog, about my feelings of loneliness and rejection (i mean i told him i was in love with him but he didnt say what he felt. he just said it wasnt a good time?) i made him feel like he didnt matter to me. despite me thinking of him every second of every day, and being prepared to start looking for a job to use my paychecks to buy a plane ticket and go to him tomorrow. i wanted to tell him that i really truly wanted to be with him, but i was scared he'd think i was insane or wasnt ready or rejected me or or or or. i really believed i was waiting for him to be able to talk, which he had pulled away from before. after last time i really thought he'd talk to me and see where we are before he'd fall for someone else. but. i guess that this just means he is my everything but i wasnt to him. and i know that's reality, no matter how much i dont want it to be.

i just dont know what to do now. i feel so lost and aimless without him. for the past year, i have been building up and preparing a future with him. i was really thinking that it would come true. i dont know. i understand that i was incredibly naive and childish. but that's what i've been doing every day for over a year and now it's all gone and i dont even understand why. he wont say that he doesnt like me "that way". the way rejections usually go. it all confuses me so bad. i want him i love him. but he chose someone else. and i dont want my future without him, it's all so dull and bleak and lonely. there are just so many ways we are compatible. like he could've been my dad bf, taking care of me and i would be able to devote myself completely to him (which is what my soul needs) and not worry about work for example (even if i'd be 100% willing to get a job, i have never really fantasized abt not having a job lol, thats not part of my fantasy). i could just love and be loved, be taken care of and take care of him. i dont want a big life with big social circles, which he doesnt either. i dont want children, he doesnt either. but yeah... the way i am, the way my brain is wired.. no amounts of therapy will fix me.. i need to be taken care of. im so passive i dont even live, and i need a partner to help steer me and help pushing me. having him as a dad bf would be perfect for me. because i also fully trust him in not doing it purely for dominating and owning me, he wouldnt ruin my life or force me to do things that would make me miserable. i trust him with me in a way where i would want and be able to let go and give him control, out of love. and i think i could give him the total devotion, the submission he needs to receive. but .. maybe thats just wishful thinking on my behalf bc i love him sm and want to be with him.

idk today it hurts sm. bc mentally i've been thinking im gonna get to focus on fixing up some things in my life, jump on a plane, get to be w him irl and work on fixing a real future for us where we can be together 4ever, and that my life would be me settling into us. but now i have to do my assignments that make me wanna die, i have to show up to school, i have to figure out how u apply to university and get an apartment and not be homeless, how i pay rent how to make my economy work how to get a job and how to do all of these fkn things that makes me just wanna lie down and die. i am not cut out for real life. i dont just say that bc im lazy or wanna be treated like a pillow princess, i just genuinely cannot cope or deal with things. my brain doesnt work properly. im not competent enough to hold down a job let alone actually get one. im not a person who can actually be a person. i need to be someone's pet gf. and i would contribute with everything i could and that was wanted from me. but i cannot be a functioning person. and i dont just mean "i dont want to" the way most ppl feel bc our society is fucked up lmao, i actually cannot even make myself do it. avpd makes u disabled in that way. i cannot actually do anything.

[one-and-lonely16]

You haven’t been active today and i was concerned caz i thought maybe that six form thingy made you sad or something 😭 anyways im glad ure okay and just drawing :D tell us a bit about ur ocs? :D

ACK- U WERE WORRIED?? THAT MAKES ME HAPPY BUT YEAH IM FINE NOW

anyways

im glad u asked >:)

SO! blondie in the middle is called andi. she is captain of a ship called the black beauty. she ran away from home at the age of 19. her brother died when she was 15. girl got buckets of trauma. loves her crew. was voted queen of the seas a while back. pansexual. bit of a whore but we love her

the one kissing her head is ryka. she is the princess of aeria and she joins andi's crew for a brief time bc she wants to find the heart of the ocean (theres so much more lore but its like i dont wanna give too much away). the reason she's the only one really interacting with andi properly in the drawing is bc they are endgame. shes a lesbian but was arranged to marry a man (not bc the world is homophobic, its just she hated the rest of the suitors her parents approved of)

next to ryka is lukas. he was andi's childhood friend and first love. they were together at the age of 13-14, but eventually broke up bc best if they were friends (loved each other platonically not romantically. thats why hes further away than the others). however, when andi gets with iris and aria leaves, they fall out and he eventually goes to find aria. at the timeline in the story, he is dead

laying on andi's lap is rosa. she is actually one of my favourites to write. a girlboss. an icon. she is a prostitute, but like shes knows what shes worth and wont take shit from anyone. her and andi don't love each other (hence the reason u cant see her face), but andi is like her fav client and shes andis fav whore i guess (that sounds fucked up but like they genuinely are friends and care about each other)

on the floor is syrena. shes a mermaid. and like she is completely and utterly in love with andi (they have slept together) but it is one-sided. andi cares for her as a friend, but isnt in love with her. thats why shes on the floor and looking up, showing her devotion as such, but how unrequited it is. the definition of the other woman. shes actually really sweet (despitr always suggesting to eat ryka so andi doesnt have any problems)

the one looking up at andi is aria. she wasn't friends with andi as long as lukas was, but was still a childhood friend. she met lukas through being andi's gf at the time. they went out for a few months when they were 14, but then aria said she wanted to focus on training and they broke up (andi was starting to fall in love with her but understood and was ok being friends). after andi started spiraling, she left and joined the navy for where they are from (i cant remember what i called the place and my notebook is god knows where)

then last but certainly not least is iris. she is a priestess for the deities. she got with andi just after her brother died (andi doesnt have the best coping mechanisms) she knew of this prophecy about the heart of the ocean and whilst she did care for andi, she was kind of manipulating her for the deities so this prophecy could be fulfilled. andi worshipped her. i wouldnt say it was love bc of unhealthy it was but she was obsessed. when andi ran away, they said goodbye and broke up but yeah. shes really powerful. she does care for andi and then in the future helps them find the heart and fix all the problems that come with the heart

thats all of them in the photo, soz for the long post i could go on for hours

[deliciouspirateangel]

Finished season 5 of PLL so I have to ramble

it felt like it took us about ten years to get thru this season. some of those eps were dragging and i think i zoned out more during this season than any other

i knew mona was still alive so that twist didn’t get me but it was still a lot of fun to see it play out

SPEAKING of mona. how on god’s green earth can you be on trial for murder when they NEVER FOUND A BODY??? also how are they going to arrest the other girls as accomplices when they weren’t even the ones on trial??? like as soon as they decide ali is a killer they have grounds to immediately send the other girls to prison??? ok

but the absolute stupidest moment this season. was all four girls signing up for a blood drive. to willingly have blood taken out of their bodies and put in lil vials where anyone could snatch it up and use it to fake dna evidence. and you’ll never guess what happened??? like yeah sometimes they make dumb decisions and you’re like “well it wasn’t the best choice but they dont have all the information” or “well they’re like 16 sometimes you do dumb things” but MY GOD this was the idiot moment to trump all idiot moments. this was just downright stewpid. it was five seconds into the episode and we had to pause so i could rant about how idiotic it was aksljfsldfs. especially bc hanna and caleb KNEW there were ziploc bags full of bloody clothes that were evidence for mona’s “murder” and ???? she still gave blood???? maybe she deserved to get arrested alksfjdklsfjdlsfjsdk

but anyway speaking of hanna and caleb they really are like That Ship like they were so fucking ride or die for each other turned up to 11 this season. caleb was like “if you get arrested then im getting arrested too idgaf” and in the dollhouse hanna tells A “if i see caleb in here i will Kill You” like holy shit i love the devotion, i love them so so much

toby was... a cop. he started out with good intentions and the whole “this town is full of crooked cops so you could at least have a crooked cop thats on your side” was sooo true bestie but he kind of got lost in the sauce after that oops. he started to come around and wise up so hopefully he gets better

the relationships this season had me tearing my hair out. paige gets put on a bus which, yay, get out of here. and then two seconds later a grown woman is trying to get with emily. and the second spoby is on the rocks there’s some weirdo living in spencer’s barn that’s trying to get with her. and im still not sure what his age is but that receding hairline they tried to disguise with his stringy bangs tells me he’s too old for her. oh and adam from glee i almost forgot him. and aria doesnt have any time away from ezra before she’s hitting up her tutor. at least he’s her age. but goddamn these girls cannot take a single breath without being involved in ten  different kinds of relationship drama at the same time. its exhausting. it would not kill them to be single for one damn episode

speaking of disgusting age gap relationships. we had to pause the show again just so i could scream about ezria for about the 9184930th time. bc. ezra is mad at caleb over mike, talking about how mike’s just a kid and if he makes the wrong decision then it could fuck up the rest of his life and he’s way too young to do that. mike is sixteen. so ezra views a sixteen year old boy as a kid but a sixteen year old girl is a viable romantic option? ok... ezra deserved to have his dick chopped off, his skin flayed, and be thrown in a vat of acid. minimum. it’s the least he deserves aklsjfskldf

anyway big picture i liked a lot of aspects of the mystery unfolding?? but as a whole this season felt sooo draggy like hurry it up already. the finale was fun and im actually looking forward to starting the next season. two left, we’re sooo close to the end!!!

spencer, caleb, and hanna are still my faves, in that order. toby fell off a little but i still like him. emily is okay it’s just her relationships that are rotted. and aria’s relationships are rotted but i also just dont like her as a person. i dont trust ali and quite frankly i dont believe a damn thing she says ever. mona is a queen and im so glad she’s back. literally everyone over the age of 20 on this show can fuck off and die bc they’re all nasty lmao. thats my thoughts on all the characters <3

[sourgrenadine]

Hai can u do a headcanon on Dano!Riddler having a gf that’s a bit crazy like him and has a cult 😂😂 idk if this is too weird

a/n: no i love crazy readers!! warnings: mentions of cults, crime, killing, etc. nothing graphic though

(gn reader)

so despite being a serial killer himself, hes absolutely terrified of you (and he will never admit this to your face)

will do his very best to stay on your good side

edward: hmmm maybe ill get chinese takeout tonight...

you: i could go for a pizza

edward: YEAH PIZZA SOUNDS GREAT BABE

like he has his own followers of course, but yours are so devoted its intimidating

but you insist hes your biggest supporter

gets jealous of your following

he doesnt fully trust them, but he will take your word on it if you say theyre dependable

if your crimes are similar, maybe crime dates??

lounging around in the rich people mansions, stealing expensive bottles of wine

starting riots together, how romantic

banding your followers together like the power couple you are

if you do crime FOR him, he will reciprocate it

kill the shitty head of the orphanage? ed'll make sure to "get rid of" the policeman looking into you

may secretly going to meetings of your followers (undercover) to see what theyre all doing

if any of them seem like theyre defecting ed will tell you, if not dealing with them himself

[spohkh]

Hi hello!!! Will you please tell me some of your ofmd headcanons??

hello hi!!! here are some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain :-)

stede helps brush out ed's hair ONCE (one (1) time) and after that ed's like oh okay this is going to be your job forever now ❤️ so every night stede will brush it out and braid it for him. VERY important part of their nightly routine that also soothes ed into sleep :-)

VERY obsessed w the idea of stede being like. im a pirate. i NEED a tattoo. the convo i imagine is like theyre just lying in bed and stedes looking at eds tattoos and is like hmmm... i think i should get one. and eds like. holy shit absolutely. but of what? stede: maybe the flag of the revenge? ed: LOL which one we have like 5. stede: all of them! why not!! right down my arm! ed: stede i admire your ambition but maybe start small. anyway i think itd be cute for ed to give stede like a small stick-and-point star or something on his hand and then eventually they will get matching lighthouse tattoos thanks ❤️

weve already seen that stedward are CANONICALLY that annoying ass lovey-dovey couple and i KNOW once theyre actually together its going to be a ZILLION times worse and the crew of the revenge is going to be like voluntarily walking the plank just to get away. its not even necessarily PDA its just this like aura of Devoted Love they give off that has a 5-mile radius its insane. lucius and pete are like we openly make out in front of people but somehow yall are even more annoying. fish in the sea are like bro. the thought i keep having is of stede holding a meeting and at the end hes like ok any questions? and ed goes yeah ive got a few questions and the crew collectively groans and is like alright meetings officially over see ya. and stedes like what??? no its not!! lucius: every single time ed has a "question" at the end of our meetings that he needs to "ask in private" and then we dont see you guys for like an hour he just means he wants to make out. we know bc you guys are NOT quiet. and it happens LITERALLY every time. stede: thats not true! that. well. it doesnt happen EVERY time. does it? (looks at ed) ed: no yeah it does sorry but you being all captainy really gets me going. stede: oh! ed: yeah ok so lets go. and stedes like well cant argue w that

stede almost immediately starts using my love and darling and sometimes sweetheart at ed which makes ed absolutely high-five angels every time hes like ME??? ...ME... and conversely while i think ed may OCCASIONALLY call stede like, babe, or even love, i dont think any word will compare to just saying stede's name for him. but also he DOES keep calling stede mate, which he canonically uses a ridiculous amount and absolutely means it in a "dude (romantic)" way

on marriage: i really really love the idea of them exchanging rings in a literal sense, as in stede giving ed his turquoise ring and ed giving stede one of his ruby rings. i also have a different thought abt what they might do instead of a ring exchange but i shant say here bc im writing it into a fic :-) i also like the idea of them being like. ok we're husbands. like fuck a "proper ceremony" or whatever they just decide it and its law and then they throw a shipwide party after that the end

ok let me stop here but these are the main thoughts haunting my brain recently! :^)

[actualbird]

Polyam NXX where they all fuck the depressing thoughts out of Luke? Marius fucking his ass, Artem riding his dick, Rosa riding his face, and Vyn kissing and caressing him all over, all at the same time.

n/s//f///w text in response (and also in the ask itself kjdsbfj) and oh god again why is this response so long, it is 1k words

HHGRHRGRGHR ANON....this caters to so many things i love so much, 1) luke being fucked to the high heavens, 2) LUKE TERRIBLY DEPPRESSING THOUGHTS ON HIMSELF, 3) nxx investigation polycule <3!!!

i can sense that this ask wants me to focus on the smut aspect of this and i will get to that but first i wanna talk about like. man, luke, in his relationship with the other four, would have his self doubt and self loathing magnified fourfold than if he was just with one person, i think.

he'd think terrible things like how hes dragging so many people down, how hes a greedy person, letting his life touch so many people's lives and fill their lives with sadness and worry. the other four know that luke has thoughts like this, and they all do their part in reassuring and comforting him and being there for him when hes put himself in a dark place. and it helps. it really, really helps to have people who love you, even the sad parts. but relationships also dont "fix" a person, they cant just magically get rid of doubts and insecurities. nobody in the group is under the impression that love is going to "fix" the sadness luke has, but thats not going to stop them from loving him anyway. luke is grateful, luke pours his love out to them back times a hundred...

but deep in his heart, theres a cruel voice that sounds like his own telling him it's never going to be enough, what he gives. that nothing he will do will ever make up for the fact that he's him.

still, after a while of dating the others, after a while of being steadily encouraged little by little to reach out when he needs help and comfort, luke hazards a chance to ask one day. for the first time ever.

i can imagine the scene something like this:

the whole team managing to find a space in their busy schedules to meet up together outside of nxx business. theyre at mc's apartment maybe. artem is cooking dinner while marius commentates the cooking from where he's seated at the dining nook, "when onions hit the pan, the panties hit the FLOOR." and artem throws a dishtowel at marius' face fondly. softly, music plays from some speakers hooked up to somebody's tablet, some calm old song. vyn and mc are being horrendously romantic, idly dancing to the music and laughing when marius squawks at artem's dishtowel attack. and luke sits on the couch, looking at all of them, feeling such a burst of light from his heart. these are his partners, silly and loving and wonderful, and he wants to give them all the love he has in his heart.

but the thing about luke is that his happiness has always been annotated with doubt. in the footnotes of all his joys is the dark voice inside of him, the voice that sounds like his own, telling him he doesnt deserve this.

but he can see them though. he can see how brightly they all shine, how they always coax him to stand in the light. so after dinner has been eaten (it's delicious, obviously, artem wing homecook masterchef), after the movie they picked out has been watched (it was marius' turn to pick the movie and he picked something stupidly trashy yet raucously enjoyable to watch with others), after they start retiring to go bed together (GOD, im assuming they all get like, bigger beds sjkdbfkjd, marius is the wallet of this polycule, it's fine, he'll cover it), after all that, luke asks.

he asks for help. he trembles ever so slightly as he does it, looking away, and the rest of them can see that him doing this is something agonizing for him. that admitting that hes hurting and asking for comfort is something that seems to pain him, not because he doesnt like them and the love they give, but because he doesnt like himself, because he doesnt see himself as worthy to receive that love.

"i--i dont know what im asking for, actually," luke lets out a self deprecating laugh as he starts to backpedal back into the shadows, overwhelmed by how in this moment, theyre seeing him. theyre seeing the messy part of him he hates so, so much. "sorry, you know me. my head gets like this. sorry. i'll get over--"

hes stopped before he can continue that sentence. mc is the first one to hold his face gently, to coax him to look at her, and in her gaze isnt the disgust luke was expecting. it's something open and beautiful, and when luke looks at everybody else, the same thing is clear in their eyes.

they see this part of him he hates so much and they dont turn him away like he does with himself. they accept him and their kindness starts to wash over the shores of luke's heart.

i like to think they didnt actually plan to have hot group sex focused on fucking the depressing thoughts of luke pearce. it goes more like... mc kisses luke all gentle and sweet and then marius goes to hug luke from behind and he starts praising luke in a teasing way that makes luke laugh softly against mc's lips. when mc pulls away (and she pulls away with a smile), artem is the one who kisses luke next, passionate and devoted and vyn joins in on the "praise luke pearce" agenda, whispering sweet nothings to luke as luke starts to tremble once more, not in hatred or fear this time though, but in how overwhelmed he is. eventually the reassuring kisses and touches start to get a little bit heated because come on, luke is being held and touched by four beautiful people, it's hard to NOT get hard when that happens, and the rest are also easy to get worked up when theyre all together and close and intimate like this.

SO YEAH, they get to fucking!!!! very focused on luke because the other four reach this unspoken agreement to like, make luke feel so good that his mind can go blank tonight. that he can just let go and let them take care of him.

and take care of him they DOOOOOO. in between moaning against mc's cunt, shaking from sensations of fucking artem and being fucked marius, his body relentlessly touched by vyn, all his lovers taking pleasure from luke and giving pleasure back, luke loses himself. he lets go.

the voice in his mind does not quiet so much as be spoken over by the loving voices of his lovers.

his body submits to their actions. his mind fills with their words. and his heart?

he gives that to them to take care of.

[madeofstardust17]

Arthur & Merlin & Love.

So. Today I want to talk about these two and the gift that bbc Merlin gave us, which is when they showed us both boys in love.

Let's start with Arthur.

Arthur is a prince. He's arrogant, stubborn, condescending, I can go on but I don't want to, because he's also kind, and gentle, and he cares so much for the people he loves it actually hurts me to see it.

When he's with Gwen, he's completely vulnerable. He's playful, he's devoted, he wastes no opportunity to tell her how he feels about her.

What I love about Arthur in love is this, how he shows his affection with words of affirmation. We see him trying to do various acts to show Gwen how he feels about her (trying to cook dinner, breakfast in bed, for examples), but they always come short. Why? Because he doesn't get it. He knows Gwen would appreciate these things so he tries, but he always ends up telling Merlin to do the hard work bc he doesn't really get the importance behind these things.

He's a man of words, we can see this when Uther tells him he's precious to him (back in s1) and he's confused, bc Uther had never told him something similar, so he assumed his father didn't love him. He needs words of affirmation, which is why I think he trusted Morgana and Aggravaine so much. Obviously there was also the family factor, but these two showered him in compliments when trying to get him to trust them, they told him over and over again how they loved him, and he drank it all up, desperate for love in the way Uther never could provide.

We even see this with Merlin. When Merlin doesn't want to talk, that's all Arthur does. He tries to cheer him up in any way he can tries to comfort him by asking what's wrong, willing to listen. Obviously this doesn't work, bc if Merlin were to talk about his problems, he would have to tell Arthur about his magic so when Arthur tries to cheer him up he usually smiles at him, he jokes and plays the part, just so that Arthur will be satisfied that his friend is better.

But let's see Merlin, shall we?

Merlin in love melted my heart for a few reasons. The first is how much of a caretaker this boy is. I am 100% sure that in modern times he would be a nurse or maybe a teacher. He cares so much, and he loves unconditionally.

So when Freya arrives, a scared lonely girl, traumatized and distrustful of the world around her, Merlin pours his heart and sould into caring for her. Everything he does, it's for her, he's thinking of her in every second of that episode, it's painfully obvious how happy he is to have someone to love.

The second thing I love about him is how gentle he is. Arthur in love is decisive, he's passionate, unafraid to show his affection. Merlin is so gentle, he kisses her with care, like she's priceless and fragile. He always hesitates, always looks at her before any sign of affection, just to be sure she's fine with it.

When I'm telling you I cried during her death scene. What brought me to tears wasn't the death itself, it was how Merlin acted. When he sees her on the floor, naked and hurt, he immediately gives her his jacket, just to let her be comfortable. His gaze doesnt linger, he's not even uncomfortable, he looks at her eyes, his only concern is caring for her. In the lake's shore, she's wearing the dress he stole for her, and I get a little teary eyed just thinking how careful he must have been when dressing her, so respectful and loving.

Third thing I love about him: he's so reassuring. He keeps telling her that he'll be back, that she's not alone, that he's going to look after her. He never gets tired of saying it, always says it with love in his eyes.

I think that's why Arthur and Merlin work so well together, why Arthur gravitates towards Merlin whenever something goes wrong. Merlin is never afraid to tell him when he's fucked up, but he's also the one who tells him when he's doing well, that's he's being a good prince (and later King).

Arthur thrives when he's encouraged, when he's assured he's a good person, a good King. Merlin is always telling him this. When Morgana invades Camelot, who spent days trailing after Arthur, telling him he's a good King, telling him not to listen to anyone else? Merlin. Arthur loves him so much because Merlin always tells him the truth, he can trust him to not be a suck up, to tell him when he's right and when he's wrong.

Even when he doesn't ask it, Merlin reassures him. That scene (I've been searching for like twenty minutes and I cannot find it somebody help me) I'm which Merlin wakes Arthur up and he drags him out of bed (again it's my favourite scene please someone help me), Arthur doesn't even say anything, but Merlin tells him what a good job he's been doing.

(Am i even discussing love and these two if I don't add a gif of their intense eye-fucking?)

So yeah, thats my tiny thesis on these two. I wanted to add how all this contributes on merthur's romantic relationship (bc this is all canon) but I'll reblog this with that bit just in case someone wants to reblog this part without merthur.

If anyone reached the end of this, I thank you and I'm sorry you had to read my ramblings I've just been thinking about these two a lot lately.

[antiloreolympus]

6 Anti LO Asks

1. wasnt there a myth where ares dates demeter? (sometims erinyes instead) and they have a CHILD together? i know RS doesn't really research so it wont come up, but ... how awkward would that family reunion be? "hello, barely-legal version of the teenage girl i tried to mack on, i knocked up your mother"?

2. (Bit of a rant so be warned) I wish that RS had characterized everyone better, I mean I still can’t get over how Apollo was characterized (I got into LO before I fully delved into mythology and once I read on how Apollo really was I didn’t know how to feel about the story). It would’ve been so amazing if she portrayed them differently than they were in the myths in a way that made sense, like Aphrodite given a fully developed personality outside of being a bitch with a pretty face (she was a very loving mother in the myths and very much loved Ares, who adored her as well). And let’s be honest, persephone being a “cinnamon roll that can secretly kill you” trope is kind of getting boring, RS could have had some more fun with her character by portraying her much differently. Another trope that’s getting old is Demeter being an overprotective, controlling mess of a mother towards persephone which sucks once you really think about it (I mean the poor woman lost her daughter in an instant and didn’t know what was going on until she had to go to Helios to find out, she deserves a better portrayal than what RS gave her). Heck my favorite portrayal of Demeter that feels accurate to how she is mother-wise in the myths is from Mythic the Musical (“Mother’s Do What Mother’s Have to Do”). Also don’t get me started on how dirty she did Thetis (I love her design but my god was she done wrong personality and even role wise). I remember when I first started reading this and read through the majority of the comic and I genuinely loved it, not thinking about how weird it was until I read through this blog and it kind of just hit me. Hades is a creep in LO and he could’ve just not been written that way, she didn’t have to write Persephone as a literal 19 year old (even 119 is young for gods but at least that would’ve been a more comfortable number) the baby shower gift thing was gross once I thought about it again. If I had to put my main frustrations with this series I would put these as the main problems: Gods/Goddesses being done dirty in terms of personality and role in the story, Hades being a high key creep, I heard that Chiron is being portrayed as female which defeats one of the purposes of his character (he’s a genuinely kind man which is rare to find in Greek Mythology, he’s awesome), not utilizing other Greek mythological figures to help move the story along or even help persephone (for example, Ganymede who’s story starts off very much like hers or even other figures who were SA by gods), and Persephone not only being a self insert but a major Mary Sue which is a massive yikes when it comes to a serious storyline. Oh and her “erasing” the incest factor of Greek Mythology is hysterical because even with how she changes it up, Hades and Persephone are STILL technically related because Demeter is Hera’s sister, who is married to Zeus (Hades’ brother) still making Hades her uncle by marriage smh. Demeter considers Persephone her daughter so that doesn’t erase the incest completely. At least Percy Jackson made it clear that it was a thing, and they handled it very easily: they’re divine beings that don’t have blood and they’re not mortals, despite that Percy and the other demigods express obvious disgust at the topic. Done and done. At the end of the day I’m still not sure how I feel about LO and maybe I’ll continue reading it for the hell of it or just give it up since from what I’ve heard, the story has gone off the rails

3. i like how just off that timeline, we're supposed to feel like "aw look both hades and persephone had traumatic childhoods and important life changes at 19!" instead of being like yooooo this seven year beat the shit out of his dad and took him out? why would i care about hades' teen angst and then late 20s man pain whi lusts after a 9 year old when a goddamn second grader can kick ass? also yeah depending on this timeline theyre all pedos and zeus is actually a vicim 🤷🏼‍♀️

4. Okay, I could be misremembering things but, didn't Hera have a file on Persephone (which listed her under the TGOEM program) that she made for "possible suitors" purposes? And she included Hermes and Ares and Hades?

Again, I could be misremembering this but doesnt the TGOEM require the goddesses to, not be in relationships? Romantic or otherwise? And if thats the case, then why the f*ck was Hera making a "compatibility chart" of possible husbands for Persephone?

Was it because she noticed that Persephone and Hades had a thing for each other? Even though she was potentially still having an affair with Hades at the time And knowing he was having an off and on again relationship with Minthe?

Also isnt Persephone in college on the TGOEM scholarship? So wouldn't Hera want to like, talk to Athena + Hestia about that? And be like "Hey so I know Kore is in your program, but.... I want her to marry Hades" And I know Hera is technically Queen of the gods but wouldn't she still check with them?

Also, I had a seperate thought. So I know Hades says something like "I thought we agreed not to (see each other) back in the 80's" - now it feels like because Hera is/was having an off-and-on againa affair with her brother in law that her putting Hades and Persephone together and setting them up as a couple is an excuse for her to cover up her affair.

(Like if Zeus ever got wind of Hera's affair with Hades and he was upset she could just try to side sweep it by being like "oh, no thats not what was happening. I was really checking to see if Hades is a good match for Persephone and he is!" So she doesnt get in trouble for having an affair).

5. okay, legitimate question: if artemis having a ton of uber-devoted female followers is enough to make her a lesbian ... why is ares not gay? because like ... not only were soldiers/male athletes famously homosexual, a lot of them basically ritually gave themselves to ares. it's heavily implied that this means that they considered themselves spiritually his eromenos'. the whole practice's bad implics aside ... ares should be SUPER gay? oiled up gym-rats wrestling nude levels of gay.

6. Okay so normally I don't care and or don't want to know, but - in this case I am a bit curious - is Persephone just RS's self insert character / Mary sue? Because if she is then that means that all the other male characters simping over Persephone (Hades, Hermes, Ares, Apollo, etc) gets a lot more concerning.

[reyeslonestar]

Question what are some things you wanna see in season 3 of lone star? Character development, plots, anything

I want to see Tonya Kong write every episode. that's all. thanks for asking!

-

sadfkja I joke, I do have other ideas, but that is definitely high on my wish list! i'm gonna go through by character and talk about what I'd like to see for them, so this is gonna get quite long whoops...

the main thing that I'd like to see overall, though, would be evidence of an overarching season plan or arc - it doesnt necessarily have to be a plot that stretches through all the episodes or anything major, but I'd love them to have plotted out the season before they start. from watching this season and then reading interviews after the finale, they dont appear to plan many things from the start and end up throwing in ideas as they go along. if they plan it from the start they can foresee how theyre going to affect character development more, and they can have a bit more balance in the types of episodes they have, so that the season is less insane and more naturally ebb-and-flow with a few light episodes to break up the drama.

okay, onto the characters! just going to do this in billing order for simplicity's sake. customary reminder that these are just my own opinions and thoughts, and this is more of a wish list than a realistic expectation.

if you want to search for a specific character, ctrl F for one of these terms including the dash at the start:

-Owen

-Tommy

-TK

-Grace

-Judd

-Marjan

-Paul

-Carlos

-Mateo

-Nancy

press “j” to skip the whole post.

-Owen

okay so I'd love to see them actually develop his character. Owen has been given a lot of backstory with lots to play with development-wise, but to me it feels like the show never goes anywhere with it. he's got a lot going on what with 9/11, feeling responsible for the fates of his fellow firefighters, the codependence of his relationships etc. I'd like to see him go to therapy and see him grow some self awareness and seek to manage himself better, rather than all his screentime devoted to him being a hero when other characters have the situation handled. it would really show him as a good leader if he drew on the skills that his team has and refer to them for advice/ideas. realistically he is the main character, so I'd like them to develop him like one.

also, I kind of love the chief role for him? I think it would suit him really well. but it would drag him away from the 126 and split up the dynamics too much so it would make for bad tv and I wouldnt actually want to see that. good for his character though.

-Tommy

I love Tommy :) just wanted to say that.

so obviously Tommy's got a lot of grief to handle next season, and I don't want them to shy away from that. I want it acknowledged and processed. (I'd also like a little bit of seeing the twins' grief too, because they're also suffering a massive loss). maybe something with Judd helping Tommy learn to manage her grief with his own experience of losing the original 126, encourage her to go to therapy, plus Tommy, Grace and Judd all feeling the loss of Charles together. after all, Grace and Judd were his friends and they will be grieving too.

I'd also kind of like to see Tommy have something outside being a working mother. obviously we're going to need to deal with that a lot especially now that Charles is gone, but I feel like she's been assigned the Character TraitTM of being the working mum and I'd like to see them give her a hobby or something. idk. and give her a night off with Grace or something. give her something just for her.

-TK

okay so I think theres a fair likelihood that theyre going to return to looking at TK's addiction next season which im not averse to. I think him struggling with his sobriety would be worthwhile to see for his character and to show that its not a straightforward path, plus it makes sense with all the insane stuff they've thrown at them in s2. however, Id like to see it in the context of his friends and family rallying around to help and support him and show him that he's got people to rely on, and that he's allowed to rely on them, plus the support of his AA meetings and therapy. I also need them to lay the groundwork for him struggling, so putting in signs of him deteriorating so the situation makes sense. this storyline doesn't need surprises to be interesting or good, and frankly it shouldn't have any.

as for him and Carlos, I definitely want to see them househunting! I'd like to see the combination of househunting/Carlos with Tommy's kids/Grace and Judd having their baby have an impact on their perspectives regarding their future and spark that conversation (like, looking at houses with more rooms and thinking about kids, future, marriage etc). I think that maybe one of them, probably TK, or maybe both of them those boys have way too many parent issues having anxieties about being a dad could be an interesting way to add tension without being too drastic, and then that can be resolved in a way that reassures them of their relationship and reaffirms their strength as a couple. the talk about the future would also lay the groundwork towards a proposal at the end of s3.

-Grace

grace :) my love :)

I could watch episode after episode of Grace kicking ass and saving people over the phone. I'd love to see an episode set there? like, some kind of story within the call centre with all the handlers having to resolve that between them, but also tie in the first responders, so we see the fire team, the paramedics and Carlos all working but we only see the bits that Grace and the other call handlers hear, if that makes sense? also an actual Grace/Carlos team up where they are coming in from the different angles with different amounts of evidence and figuring out the best way to solve something together. plus I'd like to see her maybe get some recognition for being awesome at her job, maybe another handler coming to her for advice on how to solve something.

of course we've got the baby Ryder on the way, and I want that to go comfortably and smoothly for her. she deserves that. lots of wholesome excitement for her and Judd from the whole extended firefam, baby shower, gifts, the full works. pamper grace please.

-Judd

judd4captain2k22. please.

yeah I know its not gonna happen, but I loved judd stepping in as captain this season and I'd love to see that continued with him taking more leadership, and Owen deferring to him for advice/council in a work environment rather than personal life. maybe set up a long term idea about judd being a captain someday.

he's gonna be a dad :') so what are his anxieties about that? why were they putting it off before? was it related to his PTSD? he's got lots of people relying on him now, how does that make him feel? what if his kid loses him? id like to see him still using therapy as a tool to help himself deal with everything. lots of meaty questions to dig into there :D

-Marjan

I'd quite like to see more of her balancing her daredevil nature with the impact of that and realising how much danger she puts herself in sometimes. or on the flip side, maybe the team is dealing with a really dangerous situation and they utilise her fearlessness to save people. her relationship with social media could also come back? but bring in the development they gave her this season, and her Firefox presence is more serious, less flippant?

I think that theres now a space for her to explore her sexuality/romantic experience now that she hasn't got her engagement with Salim as a kind of failsafe. maybe she wants to put herself out there and date, but thats really daunting as shes never really had to do that before? personally I think this could tie in really well with a self discovery/exploration regarding her sexual orientation, but I doubt they’d go there with her, so thats just my headcanon.

-Paul

I want them to draw on Paul’s observational skills and perceptiveness more, especially on calls and in emergencies. I remember someone (sorry I cant remember who) pointed out that he would have been a great character to centre the arsonist plot around in terms of noticing the clues etc, so id love a storyline that revolves around him dealing with an emergency like that. I also really want a Carlos and Paul friendship so maybe them collaborating on a call to solve something, that’d be cool.

can we give Paul a girlfriend please. if im not complely insane, there was a reference to someone in like,, 2x04?? someone who put mayo in his sandwich? idk I havent checked (edit: it was aioli in his banh mi! thank you @meneatyoghurt), but if there is someone can we show him having a fun and loving relationship please. I dont need there to be any drama. just them having fun on a date or something.

-Carlos

so I know that some people are keen to see him in his police role more but I really don't need much of that. on calls with the 126 I'd like to see him be the officer in charge more, but I don't need police-exclusive storylines. I've talked about it here if you want to know why.

the only area that I'd like to see would be in the direction of reform/addressing the flaws of the system, and I think they can do that on a personal level for him, because he and Mitchell need a chat. if they'd gone with her decision in 2x08, he, Mitchell and the bank robber would all be dead, and I think thats gotta have some impact. also the fact that he was suspended for trying to preserve life. theres a lot they could work with there and maybe have him thinking about how he can do good and how he can effectively protect and serve. not to mention, the opportunity that would provide in terms of addressing his relationship with his dad and how he maybe sought approval by pursuing a police career?

also I’d like him to learn that he doesnt need to accept blame/preemptively put blame on himself and that he doesnt need to apologise when someone else hurt him. kind of want to send him to therapy. kind of want to send all the characters to therapy. but yeah, him learning that he can accept apologies and understand that he doesnt have to make people feel better for hurting him. hes allowed to be hurt and feel pained about it. and that can tie into his relationships with Mitchell, with TK and with his parents.

I think I mentioned most of the tarlos stuff in TK’s section, but I wouldn't mind at least one instance for them where we see it all from his perspective instead of TK’s.

finally ive mentioned above how i’d like a team up with Paul on a scene and both of them figuring it out together. I'd also like them having a friendship outside work, just the two of them, bonding over books and being relatively sane people compared to the rest of their friends.

-Mateo

Mateo is so sweet. I loved 2x14 and the recognition he got, more of that please! also theres still so much I want to know - one of the more consistent things they set up for him in s2 was his faith, so I want to know more about that. what's his relationship with religion and God? he's pretty isolated from his family so how does he feel about that? is his religion something that helps him feel connected to them? maybe the church helped him find a community when he first came to the states, before he got settled with the 126, and he finds reassurance in faith that God is looking after his family while he cant be there? I think maybe there's scope for a conversation between Marjan and Mateo about that, about that distance and caring for their families through faith and prayer.

also, if he's still with the horrible firehouse, I'd like to see the other firefighters being won round by his resilience and stepping up to look out for him, and someone backing him up against the captain. Mateo is used as the butt of the joke most of the time, but I'd also like to see a bit more acknowledgement of things like losing his house and the bullying hes going to get more of from this firehouse.

-Nancy

I think that her speech to Tommy in 2x14 was really telling, and I'd love to see them expand on that a bit more. first on the loss and fear of losing her friends and coworkers, but then also on her hopes and aspirations - she said she wants to be a paramedic captain so lets see her working to take her exams and qualifications, and showing initiative on scenes etc.

id like to see more of her being integrated into the 126 group. she and marjan turned up to the hangout together, so lets develop that relationship more. I would love it to be romantic but I'd also love to see that as a friendship. but also her forming bonds with others in the group as well as more of her and TK being a chaos duo. I love that they stole the ambulance, more of that insanity please!

-

I think thats it? if youre still reading, youre insane and I appreciate you a lot! honestly im open to all sorts of things in s3, this isnt a prediction or anything, its just stuff I think would be interesting based on where the characters are now. 

[mirpik]

what if a man experienced symptoms

ill begin with some of what i talked about most recently. of course, some things are missing.

the more minor one out of what i talked about recently can go first. basically, in 7th(?) grade, i felt like the walls were sort of. closing in on me? it happened a few times.

in grade 8, i felt like my vision was zooming into my bedroom walls, so far in i could see something i could not see normally. it was square camera lenses covering the walls, and i saw the reflections of the people watching me. i somehow knew they were pedophiles.

ever since at least grade 9, i feel like i can't think. the intensity fluctuates. the reason i feel so is because i get the feeling that whatever i think will be posted on my tumblr and the discord servers im most active on

around at least grade 10, i didnt like people touching me or my plush i brought with me, as i felt they would somehow sneak a hidden camera on that would also allow them to read my thoughts. at least a year before this, i felt anxious about new clothes, as i felt they had a mind reading technology embedded in the collar of the shirt.

also, when i first got the cats, i was anxious as i thought their old owners put cameras in their eyes and was watching me.

i slowly got over the being watched thing, since i said to myself, "surely such small devices cant exist", until i watched a youtube video. that discussed cameras so small they needed an expert and/or special devices to find. that was the end of getting over it.

i get worried about displeasing the people i have. so, for them, im basically in a state where i accept almost anything that impacts me. i dont confront them about things and can keep myself hidden because thats the surest way to keep their thoughts where i want them to be. its also the main reason why the "thought be broadcasted" thing is so upsetting to me (when you ignore the fact its a violation of basic privacy). im worried theyll see a thought, go "oh, cringe", and leave me. i rarely confront people, and if i do, ignore it and stay away from everything else for so long because id rather be in a state where i dont know their thoughts and cant have any freedom or peace of mind due to it instead of have freedom but be faced with the knowledge they might of become upset with me. i am not a man who was meant to live to 17.

people also not understanding what i have to say seems to activate a similar part of my brain. because being asked for clarification means they hate me or are mocking me. i guess.

also. i am/was a little bit strange? but i dont know how strange in regards to the average person in the age group i was in. was i strange or just a normal middle schooler? in grade 7 or 8, i came across a dead squirrel. or something. on the playground. i wanted a picture but wasnt allowed. i got my friends, formed a circle around it, spun, jokingly called it a big mac and talked about eating it. in. in um. grade 9? 10? in winter, i came across another dead animal. i went to someone i didnt really like, and said they should run from quebec to where i am, and we will eat the animal together romantically. this year, i told my mom a toy mouse was a real one because it would be scary to her and the funnyness was a lot. i dont like dumbing things down and can get ??? at people being upset about that. i told my mom "yeah, milo probably ate the mouse" a year or two ago when she recalled a mouse that was brought in but disappeared, and didnt understand why she didnt like me talking about it. like come on.

my classification of emotions can be strange. i think most people classify based on intensity? my classification generally consists on what i want done about it. (anxious = i can handle this on my own, maybe some support will be nice. scared = i cant do this. please help me or do it for me. do not leave me.) it is why love doesnt really exist as an emotion to me, i think. theres already like, devotion, etc.

id talk about my ex-fp but it might be due for another post. two or so years after she avandoned me, i decided to restrict my eating because maybe thats why she didnt like me, since i remembered she always left a little after i announced i was making food or had some to eat. but i didnt succeed because i lack self control. i guess its a little traumatic. theres also more non-ex-fp related things i think. i want to steal just because im almost always bored and such and i want to attack but i dont want to go to jail. when my brother stole from us i fantasized about bringing him to some abandoned thing, cutting him up, and disolving him in bleach. im not sure if i like any of my hobbies.

youve made it this far wow. my kitty cat milo he turns 4 in summer

[pink-lightsabre]

okay so like. i am an eternally optimistic clown. sometimes this works out in my favor. sometimes it doesnt. with that in mind. i'm gonna word vomit about some stupid firefighters for a minute.

bobby and athena. bc some straights deserve rights. athena literally walked thru FIRE to save her man. i fucking love it. "you think saving lives is hard? trying taking them." *immediately gets shot by athena* we love Cinema.

give me the "chim studying to be a lt and bobby thinking about retiring and giving the 118 to chim" story line we all deserve.

chimney and maddie! the only other straights that deserve rights. god i feel so fucking bad for maddie. i know she's gonna get through this and i am so proud of her for asking for help from chim.

hen and karen! and nia! and nia's birth mother! i was in real tears!

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT ALBERT!!!!!!! THE FIREFIGHTERS HAN!!!!!!! I'M SO PROUD!!!!!!!!

okay now for the actual word vomit.

i still love taylor. i've loved her from her first appearance in canon many moons ago. i spent all season saying i would be fine with her and buck being endgame if they weren't gonna go for buddie. which i didnt think they really would until last week but whatever that's for later in the word vomit. i just. do not understand. what the point of 1) bringing her back 2) having them be super flirty and then 3) have her turn him down hardcore TWICE if they were just gonna. do that. which brings me back to the eternally optimistic clown part. there's no way they last. buck refusing to chase after her bc of all his character growth is excellent and wonderful and also kinda spells out the end of their relationship. yeah he's not gonna chase after her bc he knows his worth. bc he's got a family and he's got people in his corner. and he doesn't need to base his whole life on his romantic partners like he did in previous seasons. his devotion to his family. to the 118. to eddie and christopher. eclipses any feelings he has for taylor. and i dont think she'll stand for that for very long.

now i wish i could say as much about ana as i did about taylor but! she doesn't have a fucking personality! slightly teary by her boyfriend's bedside and then smiling at his welcome home party! that's the great relationship in eddie's life? i don't fucking think so. eddie is gonna... struggle in 5a. even if it doesn't look like we're gonna get to see him physically struggle in 5a i really dont think they'll let the army vet get shot by a sniper in the middle of the street in broad daylight stateside and have that be that. one of the things that eddie is gonna struggle with in 5a. is going to be his feelings for buck. because yall know how you sign legally binding documents making your totally platonic buddy best friend guy pal the legal guardian of your son, who is the center of your whole entire world, over your flesh and blood family. some of whom LIVE IN LOS ANGELES. and who we got to see again which was so nice. even if it was just for a second.

and just. the beginning of the episode started off with so much fucking promise. buck's absolute fucking panic and desperation. dragging eddie to safety and screaming for him while he crawled under a firetruck. eddie seeing his blood on buck and asking if buck was hurt, which was straight out of a fic. "are you okay buckley?" "......... no" buck being the one in eddie's house to take care of chris. buck being the one to tell chris. buck's bad habit of jumping without looking bc he couldn't stand to be stuck in the same position. couldn't stand to be helpless again.

and just. maybe buck's lil speech about not chasing after people that dont want him. is something he's applying to eddie. and maybe he's with taylor bc he likes her and bc eddie is with ana and he's not gonna go where he's not wanted. and maybe eddie telling him that buck is essentially his next of fucking kin can start to sow some seeds. maybe in the best version of s5 we get eddie being overtly jealous and having to come to terms with that. which leads to the eddie/ana breakup that has to be coming. and maybe buck doesn't start to let himself think about the possibility until eddie's 1) "over shannon" and 2) single.

these two are the only ones who havent had large, sweeping romances in the same way that the rest of the team has. bobby has athena. maddie has chim. hen already had karen, but they had shit they had to work thru together. buck and eddie havent. instead they already had other relationships that have since ended bc they weren't right for each other. i refuse to believe that they give them a love interest that's so hot and cold (taylor and buck) and one that could be easily replaced with a sexy lamp (ana and eddie).

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Danatole Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Danatole playlist annotations!

I am NOT going apologize for making this. I’m not. But know I am feeling shame.

Nobody - Hozier

“I wouldn’t fall for someone I thought couldn’t misbehave”

This is a bit of a best-case-scenario song, but I really feel like the vibes are encapsulated here. It’s got the energy of “i love you because we sin together and it’s fun” and also “I have a lot of lovers but lowkey.... you’re my fave 😳” which is, as I said, the best I could ever see them getting to.

Bad Decisions - Bastille

“So we’ll make the same mistakes til the morning breaks”

This song is about being idiots together and also knowing it’s not good for you which is the vibe. Also the refusal to have an Actual Relationship in “love me, leave me, rhythm of the evening” pops off. This song GETS that it’s a more casual thing but also weirdly important to them. Oh and “maybe this is where it ends” can be interpreted to be about the elopement plan if you want to stretch it.

Quarter Past Midnight - Bastille

“Good times, bad decisions”

“Let’s go be stupid together in public and also maybe hold hands uwu”

Glory - Bastille

“Passing the drink from hand to hand, we admit we really know nothing at all”

“Let’s go get drunk together in private and also maybe hold hands uwu”

Nocturnal Creatures - Bastille

“We’ve only got ourselves to blame, again and again and again”

The whole deal with this song is like. We’re in love kind of I guess but like only when in certain situations when our guard is down. Does that make sense?? It does in my head. And the idea of it being something stupid that they both keep coming back to despite being aware of it really fits. Disclaimer I’m not trying to suggest these two are Deeply In Love I’m just bad at wording things

Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco

“I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you”

“You’re bad for me but we keep coming back to each other” vibes again. I don’t think Anatole is aware of how bad this actually is, he canonically has no idea he’s being manipulated, but I do think Dolokhov has a much better perspective on it. In my mind, Dolokhov really wishes he did not feel Anything for Anatole but. That is not working out the way he planned it, so a lot of these “why do I keep doing this :/“ songs are more from Dolokhov’s side than Anatole’s.

The Waves - Bastille

“Oh what would your mother say if she could see what we’re doing now?”

Look I added this for the Dolokhov’s mom jokes okay. That was the whole reason. I could very much see Anatole saying this exact thing to him.

Hell and You - Amigo the Devil

“Live with me in this sin forever”

Man the ENERGY of this song. The admittance and focus on them both being terrible people but enjoying being terrible together...yeah that’s them.

4am - Bastille

“You are my familiar”

The idea of just accepting something maybe not so great because it’s familiar which becomes easy which becomes fun...I very much think that’s how their relationship progressed, at least from Dolokhov’s end (You’re probably thinking “wow Wren, this playlist is super skewed toward Dolokhov’s feelings on the matter” and you’re right it’s because I hate Anatole 🥰). It’s definitely too forthcoming about actually enjoying the experience but oh well. Oh, and I stole a line from it for a fic once so it gets a permanent spot.

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

“You and me could write a bad romance”

It is objectively a bad romance, but the real reason this song is on here is that I always forget it is and it makes me laugh every time

It Will Come Back - Hozier

“Don’t let it in with no intention to keep it”

Man Dolokhov really said ok I will manipulate this kid for a lil bit for money and then seven years later he’s helping him plan some illicit elopement for no personal gain huh. Life is crazy. Basically this song covers the “you were not intending for me to stick around but I’m a fixture of your life now!” thing. I wholeheartedly believe Dolokhov never planned to spend this much time with the Kuragins he just accidentally got attached.

Mamma Mia - ABBA

“You know you won’t be away too long”

It doesnt work super well but it makes me laugh okay!!! The concept of being bad for each other and not really working well but coming back to each other for some reason anyway is there.

No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine

“No light in your bright blue eyes”

I heard the phrase bright blue eyes and smashed the add to playlist button, that’s it. But the more I listened to it the more I decided it could work post-elopement if you stretch it. “I’d do anything to make you stay” is obviously intended to be a romantic don’t-leave-me thing in the song but you can take it as the preparations scene if you really want. Not to suggest preparations is a romantic don’t-leave-me thing, that is very much not what I mean. “You cant choose what stays and what fades away” We all know Anatole wanted to flounce off with Natasha but in the end he was left eating dinner with Dolokhov 😔✌🏻 Dolokhov stayed and Natasha faded away hmmmm. Yes, purposely misinterpreting media is one of my favorite pastimes, why do you ask?

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody - Fergie

I don’t even have a lyric for this this is straight up just there for the hedonism/partying energy

We Are Young - fun.

“Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart”

This is mostly also just here for the friends/lovers at bars and parties living it up type beat. But the line “I know that I’m not all that you’ve got/I guess that I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart” bit does kinda hit. It’s by no means exclusive but they do kinda have fun yknow? Also the awareness that they are falling apart rather than doing anything worthwhile or loving is pretty fun.

Fine Line - Harry Styles

“You’ve got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes”

Obviously Dolokhov would not admit to being devoted to Anatole, and I don’t think I can in good conscience say that he is, but I think he’s definitely more devoted than he wants to be. It’s more about the hate line anyway. I initially just added it because I was like oh it works as a fine line between love and...not love, but honestly some of the lyrics work pretty well. Now that I’m armed with the knowledge that Anatole’s name means sunrise, I can say “you sunshine, you temptress” fits too.

I Dare You - The Regrettes

“I never wanted to get too close to you but now it looks like I’m getting too close to you”

RIGHT OFF THE BAT this one gets it. That lyric is The Vibe. “You’re gonna fall but I’ll catch you” is reminiscent of Dolokhov helping Anatole get out of (and into) messes constantly, although in an ideal world it would be a lot more grudging. And not to harp on about this but “you’re the one that brings the sun” 🔈ANATOLE MEANS SUNRISE🔈

Nine in the Afternoon - Panic! At The Disco

“Your eyes are the size of the moon”

I did warn you guys there would be several songs on here that are only there because they mention eyes, right? I definitely said that somewhere. I am going to use Dolokhov’s bright blue orbs for my nefarious Danatole playlist purposes and there’s nothing you can do about it. “You could cause you can so you do” does encapsulate Anatole’s thought process pretty well though, I think.

The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy

“Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme”

Not Dolokhov constantly using Anatole for money 🙄✋🏻 MLM in more ways than one. But also the idea of falling for someone being a kind of defeat works well. Admit you like him, Dolokhov. I dare you.

Bromance - Chester See & Ryan Higa

“Bromance, nothing really gay about it”

Historians will say they were roommates. I’m sorry this song just makes me laugh and I refuse to remove it.

Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco

“You fooled me once with your eyes now, honey, you fooled me twice with your lies”

Rhyming eyes with lies is peak Dolokhovcore! And the “Sarah doesn’t care, she lives in her world so unaware” is Anatolecore because he’s stupid. The bit about “my destiny lies with her” or whatever is irrelevant ignore that.

Fred Astaire - Jukebox the Ghost

“Those eyes, they get me every time”

The entire rest of this song is someone being blind to the other person’s flaws and initially I was like wow this doesn’t work at all and then I realized it could be stretched to mean Anatole being super oblivious to Dolokhov’s manipulation. But when it comes down to it, it’s about the eye lyric.

I Don’t Know Why I Like You But I Do - The Wombats

The title says it all. Literally that’s the whole explanation.

Daft Pretty Boys - Bad Suns

“I don’t like you, you look so pretty from afar”

If you don’t think Dolokhov calls Anatole a pretty boy (derogatory) you’re so wrong and I cannot help you. That was why I added it but the vibes of “you’re hot but wow your personality is terrible and I hate you” are there so. Enjoy! Oh and the bit about wasting your time works too, I can think of like sixty three better things off the top of my head Dolokhov could be doing than hanging out with Anatole, including but not limited to stapling his own fingers together and arson.

Rich Friends - Portugal. The Man

“I could really really really use a rich rich friend like you”

Do I HAVE to explain this one? I also like “Hey man I’m cool to lean on but I’m not your property” for them, if you stretch it it gets across the way Anatole thinks Dolokhov is His Friend but in reality. He’s using him HDHHSHDHDHBS Also the chorus has hedonism vibes, which ALWAYS works with these two.

[joy1579]

Hey! So... When I started to play Mystic messenger I was a teenager, so I was wondering how the boys and Jaehee would react discovering that MC was a teenager too (platonic of course) I loved your headcanons btw ♥️

gah its been forever and a day since i was a kid. and even then i was like really bad at being a kid heh what do teenagers do? all i did was hide in the library and avoid socializing oops. whatever i had a lot of fun writing this! honestly i think they would all be very protective of you since the RFA really feels like one big family!

Jumin

He is proud of you and wants to provide you with future opportunities because that’s how he cares about people, by giving them a means to earn money and have purpose. Also he is very interested in what you can teach him about pop culture.  

-        Age doesn’t matter to him too much. Maturity does and you had proven your maturity by helping the RFA faithfully and well

-        In fact, he is very proud of how well you did and mentions that your professionalism at such a young age shows great potential should you apply to C&R (you know him well enough to take it for the compliment it is intended to be)

-        His presence practically drips with “proud dad preparing for his daughter’s future” vibes and considering the 11-year age gap you suppose you couldn’t ask for much better

-        That is until he hears you chatting on the phone and using slang he’s never heard before

-        Now he’s curious and asking questions. You show him some him some vines you have saved and teach him a bit about pop culture leading to an unlikely but very fun friendship

-        You and he tease zen a lot by having Jumin use made up slang and you pretending its super cool and zen’s just not with it. Also imagine getting Jumin to do a secret handshake just to piss Zen off. It ends with the “nyah” pose

Yoosung

Acts like your best friend that you enjoy teasing. He wants to be a good role model but that shiz is hard. You two bond a lot over stories about school and the struggles of exams.

-        He is very relieved to not be the youngest anymore because now maybe everyone will stop treating him like a baby. (spoiler alert they won’t. Ever.)

-        He worries that he’s supposed to act like a big brother. He doesn’t know how to do that! He’s always been the baby brother, or the youngest member, or the newest intern. How does one be responsible?

-        Tries and fails to intimidate guys away from you to “protect” you (but zen said it was his duty to keep you safe! He said all men are wolves MC!)

-        “If all men are wolves why isn’t he worried about you Yoosung?” “huh? Hey wait yeah! Does he not think I’m a man?!” “ go get em tiger. give zen a piece of your mind”

-        He helps you with homework a lot but no cheating! He tells you about the time he cheated to pass a class only to get to the next level class and understand NOTHING it took a lot of tutoring and studying and work to fix that mess. Best to learn it now while it’s still learnable.

-        He refuses to teach you LOL “don’t end up like me MC! Be better!” you learn it anyway and end up playing with him frequently. The rest of the RFA blame him for this much to his dismay.

Saeyoung

he wants to protect you in his own frankly silly way. still meme’s it up but doesnt want anyone “corrupting” you. actually he kind of treats you the way he would treat saeran.

-        He fights with V for the first time when V suggests leaving you in Rika’s apartment (with a bomb) but reluctantly comes around and does what V says

-        Stays a meme lord and is psyched if you can manage to out meme him

-        Definitely teases you about your age a lot (Yoosung is secretly glad to not be the ONLY one getting teased for being young)

-        “guys we have to protect the baby she has her whole life ahead of her”

-        Is the most adamant about not swearing, drinking or smoking around you

-        “y’all need Jesus there are CHILDREN here”

-        You may have to call him out on this behavior because seriously wtf you know for a fact hacking isn’t the most ethical or legal occupation and he’s gonna lecture you?!?

-        He may joke around but he up’s his protection game up about 10 notches because for real you have your whole life ahead of you

Zen

he basically adopts you okay. he wants to be your cool big brother friend and be everything his family never was for him. he takes care of you and stands up for you every chance he can.

-        He finds out very early on because the second he starts flirting seven shuts that shit down telling him your too young for that. He asks how young and is shocked but recovers pretty fast

-        You know the protective big brother trope? Yeah that’s him

-        He’s your ride or die friend too. Need a ride to school? He’s there on his bike, some dick is harassing you? He’s there to scare the punk off, and even though he doesn’t want to fight a kid he will if he has too

-        If its girls who are harassing, you he picks you up to give your rep a bit of a boost (it never hurts to be seen with such a handsome guy after all and if he shows up on his bike he’s also got the badass vibe going on)

-        He has ALWAYS wanted a little sister and now he’s adopted you. You’re his little sis now and he’s wrapped around your finger. He swears he’ll be a better brother than his brother was

-        He is so proud of all your accomplishments and is determined to encourage your dreams the way his parents never did (he might be living his family wishes vicariously through you but hey he treats you good so it’s cool)

Jaehee

-        She’s a bit worried about you taking on such a big responsibility as the RFA guest liaison at such a young age. What if your grads drop? Or you family gets upset? What if you had to also work a part time job and this interfered your young you need to be able to rest and live your life. (when you point out that she should do the same she brushes you off)

-        Not much changes honestly, she’s always been the RFA’s mom after all.

-        She gets a little stricter about language and “inappropriate” topics

-        She definitely encourages you to study and do well in school (and avoid any job’s Mr. Han offers you)

-        She still down to be your friend though! She’s all ears when you need to vent about school and you are always ready to lend an ear back when Jumin is giving you a hard time

-        You swap girl power ballads and she helps you set up a Zen fan club at your high school

Saeran

-        Look he didn’t intend to kidnap and actual kid and he’s honestly a bit panicked when he finds out your age you looked older than that he swears

-        Thankfully your mature enough and smart enough to do what’s needed of you and he supposes as long as you don’t have a family searching for you it should be okay

Ray

-        He’s a little more reserved but honestly not much changes he’s still innocent and devoted he calls you princess and tries to spoil you as much as he can he may not see you as a romantic interest but your still his obsession.

-        He likes that you trusted him even more since your young and therefor more vulnerable. You’re his family now, a better family than he’s ever had.

-        If you are the princess, he is your knight in the strictest definition. Which is to say he is devoted to protecting and serving you out of dedication and reverence rather than romance.

Unknown

-        He’s more verbally aggressive than physically aggressive

-        He doesn’t try as hard to seem intimidating because he thinks of you as a child, and he doesn’t have to prove how tough he is to a child it’s obvious after all.

-        Also his visits are simultaneously shorter and more frequent. Shorter because he tends to get flashbacks easier (since he sees you as a child despite you being a teen) and more frequent because they are less satisfying since he doesn’t let himself be physically aggressive.

Vanderwood

(IDK why but I feel like he probably had an actual family with a girlfriend/wife and possibly a very very young daughter before the agency. Maybe she left him and that’s why he’s so impressed by MC’s dedication in the secret ending. Or maybe they’re both dead because broken hearts make more money than whole ones. Either way I think a teen MC would remind him of his possible family and so he would be hell bent on separating you from the danger and drama of literally everything that happens in the game.)

-        He’s legitimately (and rightfully) concerned about you when he see’s you on seven’s CCTV feed

-        protective and angry dad mode activated

-        threatens to tazer seven into oblivion if he lets something (or causes something to) happen to you

-        “what the hell are you doing she’s a civilian AND she’s got her whole life before her, you and I might have thrown away our lives but she didn’t! whatever’s going on you had better fix it NOW”

-        He is not speaking with you. No way no how. Every word he says to you puts you more in danger and he is not having your life on his conscious

-        That being said the second you’re in danger he is all in on ANNIHILATING whatever has put you in danger

[tweekscoffeebean]

Craig's turn for the ask thingy.

How I feel about the character

Craig is my favorite character (Tweek is a close 2nd) I love how different he is from the other characters. How he likes routines and boring things. How he tries to stay as far away from the 'main four' as possible yet still has a rivary/friendship kind of mindset with them. Pandemic/Pandemic 2 are actually my favorite episodes because of Craig. I love his 'bad boy' rebel attitude how he doesnt give a damn what anyone else thinks about him, how he stays true to himself like in Panademic 2 he just walked away from the main 4 cause he was just so done with their bullshit .

I even dont mind that he is actually a bully because it just adds to his bad boy reputation and who doesnt love a bad boy.

mostly I love how being with Tweek changed him. He was already a pretty interesting as a character but was kind of one dimensional and then he ends up with Tweek and this guy who doesnt care about anything suddenly cares about someone and it's just so sweet. It's not like he changed completely he just changed for Tweek.

He also reminds me a lot of my Husband (has alot of the same personality traits/characteristics) so I am probably pretty bias towards Craig being the best character.

All the people I ship romantically with the character:

Tweek Tweak! I only ship creek with creek. The fact that Tweek is the only one who is able to bring out Craig's softer side is partly why I love his character and it just doesnt feel like he would be like that with any other relatiobship.. Plus I adore the way these two take care of eachother, how even when they were fighting and broken up in the fractured but whole everything was still only about them. Anyone else notice how their eye colors in the in ultimate basically reflect eachother showing they only have eyes for eachother.

They also have such a healthy relationship and being together makes them better characters especially Craig.

My non romantic OTP with the character

Craig's gang. I just love the dynamics of their entire gang and would love to see a eposide devoted to their friendship (with added creek)

I also love the idea of a platonic friendship between Craig and Thomas . Thomas is such a interesting character so I would love to see them bring Thomas back, and yeah even though I dont ship it, Thomas was totally Craig's first crush so having Thomas back in the series would bring about interesting dynamics as well. Aka Jealous Tweek would be adorable.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't think he is a bad boy at all and it's just a mask for him not being able to express his emotions. He likes routine and keeping things boring. I also think he was actually gay before Tweek x Craig.

I also think he actually needs Tweek more then Tweek needs him. The reason I think this is because giving the fact that Tweek is the only one he let's his walls down for.

Oh I guess some people dont like the fact he is gay, so let's just say he is canonly gay.

One thing I wish had/ would happen with this character in canon.

As I mentioned before I want Craig and his gang eposides. I want it friendship based with a little bit of creek.

Creek: I want Craig to sing to Tweek,maybe they are fighting or he is dorky and romantic whatever the reason I want to see him in the hallway serenading Tweek and having Tweek be all embarrassed.