#but yeah work husband Sam and I are really just friends bc we love the gossip we share

[gatsby-holmes]

Huh

[ashtraythief]

That post you just reblogged made me sob, wtf was that. Anyway I can’t stand Mary in the later seasons. She is super uncaring and callous towards the boys, which is just so hard to imagine because that is not how I pictured her at all. Ooof, I always thought she’d love the shit out of them. I mean, who wouldn’t? Your kids gave up everything up to avenge you, literal years of their lives. That just breaks my heart. Honestly, I just pretend Mary coming back never happened. Jody was a better parent figure? What is up with that?

Omg yeah, so good. Hurts in the best way.

I think my thoughts on this matter deviate from yours here, and I'll put my ramblings under a cut. 

I wasn't a fan of them bringing Mary back. I don't understand what the point was except that J2 wanted more time off and the writers/Show runners were too uncreative to go beyond which dead character can we bring back??? 

That being said, I really like the idea expressed in ameliacareful's post. I don't remember how callous I found Mary bc I've only seen S12 onward once or twice because they really lost me in S12 and I only finished to watch it all. I do kind of get it though. I mean Mary had a toddler and a baby, a husband and bam she's dead, bam she's back and her little children are grown men, living a life she never wanted for them and her husband is dead. Not to mention the time jump. I mean that alone is enough to fuck anyone up I'd think. As for loving Sam and Dean, they're not her Sam and Dean. They're grown men. She needs to get to know them first. Knowing someone wanted to avenge you is not a sufficient basis for love I think, because you love someone because of all their bits not just one thing. And Mary never wanted them to go on the revenge hunting train to begin with so she was probably more horrified than anything. I would have been. My beloved tiny babies growing up into giant hardened hunters? Ouch. Also when Mary was a parent before she died, she tucked her kids into bed, made them sandwiches, changed Sam's diapers and put bandaids on Dean's scratches and read them stories. She can't do any of that with Sam and Dean. She thought she'd spend her next 20 years watching her boys grow up, making them food, helping them/herding them with their homework, driving him to little league games, comforting them when they cry, etc. I mean a parent's relationship with a young child is so different from an adult child, I don't blame Mary for not knowing how to behave with them. Also, Mary is more than just a mom. She's a whole person and reducing her to just their mom makes her a really one dimensional character. The problem was that the expectation of course was there for her to be a mom, from the boys too and the show didn't do the best job to show Mary's struggle. They tried. But then there was the whole men of letters thing. And I kind of get that maybe Mary is so confused and displaced that she goes back to something that is familiar and unconnected like hunting but again, the writing was so weak. The subject of a resurrected woman confronting her grown children is so complex and they just… didn't do it justice. And don't even get me started on her and Ketch and the brainwashing. And then they killed her again for drama. that whole story just didn't work form me at all. 

As for Jody, I didn't really see her as a parent or mother figure. She's a mother hen type, sure, but I didn't see a parental relationship there. I do like her and her relationship with the boys, I just didn't see her that way. Sometimes, you just have a friend who does that caretaking, planning, worrying, mother henning thing, but it's not necessarily parental. At least that's my impression of that relationship. 

[misty-feathers]

Okay okay Im still not over the idea of bucky knitting a sweater for sam !! husband behavior!!!!

When bucky gives it to sam at first he laughs bc the sweater, lets be honest, looks a bit silly. Bucky ran out of the main color he was using so the left sleeve and half of the right one are a different color (he swears it wasnt intentional) and its got a big lopsided star on the chest and theres some knots (but otherwise its pretty impressive for a first timer) and the sleeves are so wide for no reason (except maybe buckys always thinking about sams hunky biceps). ANYWAYS so sam kinda laughs like ‘where did you get this’ and bucky confesses he made it and the smile slips right off sams face. He looks at the sweater, at bucky, at the sweater again and asks so quietly ‘you made this, buck?’. And bucky cant tell if sam is horrified or surprised so hes getting real nervous cause sams just staring at it. ‘Yeah well but uh you dont have to wear it or anything! I know it doesnt even get cold here…’ but as bucky babbles, sam is putting the sweater on and he looks down at himself and absolutely beams and then jumps into buckys arms ‘you cranky dork, i love it! i love it so much!’ And then he runs into the bathroom to look in the mirror and actually cackles cause hes so excited abt this sweater. Bucky is blushing so hard and trying to hide how glad he is.

When sam wears it to sarahs house for the third day in a row shes like ‘wow sam, okay we get it, you love your boyfriend’ and sams like ‘naw this is legit the comfiest thing ive ever worn! Bucky used organic yarn or some shit cause its super soft!’ And sarah feels it and holy shit it is really soft. And when they have a little family get together at the wilsons, people just keep coming back to sam for hugs because hes so cozy !! Especially AJ and sam doesnt know why his nephew is hugging him so much when they see each other all the time till he notices AJ rubbing his cheek on sams shoulder and he bursts out laughing ‘oh i see how it is! you only love me for my sweater!’ And buckys of course just hopeless, he cant keep his hands off sam, its like hugs from behind all day every day, pressing his nose into the space btw sams shoulder blades cause it is really soft but also cause buckys heart flutters a little bit every time he sees sam wearing it.

+bonus

Sam doesnt even notice till sarah says something. Bucky had knitted two little wings on the back and when sam sees them he absolutely loses it. Hes running around trying to find bucky who hears sam yelling so hes almost worried ‘christ, calm down! are you okay? whats wrong?’ And sam doesnt even tell him, he just starts kissing all over buckys face and muttering ‘youre adorable’ and ‘best gift ever’ and ‘i cant believe you’.

BEE IM M E L T I N G,, I LOVE THIS

i cant stop thinking about how bucky would have had to spend a lot of time working on it in secret,,,, personally im a huge fan of early bird sam (see what i did there lmao) and night owl bucky so maybe bucky works on it when sam is sleeping,,, maybe when bucky can't sleep he works on it so he has something to focus on that's repetitive and soothing,,, also when you're knitting for someone you also think about them a lot so working on this sweater is super calming for bucky in two ways

also he joins a local knitting circle to re-learn knitting. while he may have known knitting from growing up in the 40s when war knitting was a big thing he's definitely pretty rusty also knitting patterns have changed A LOT since the 40s i'll spare you the infodump though lol i just love the mental image of a knitting circle of a few older ladies and some hipstery young people and then bucky. his best friend is an older lady and she gives him relationship advice once he tells her why he's relearning knitting but in return he's gotta take her dancing sometime. he's genuinely excited about it

hm also how would he get sam's measurements,,, i know the best way would be to steal one of sam's sweaters and measure that but i choose to believe he called up shuri (since she made the cap suit) and was like i need to know sam's measurements and she made fun of him. except the sleeves he was indeed thinking of sam's hunky biceps and was like yeah sam's arms are so nice i don't need to do sleeve shaping

when it's done bucky doesn't like it because of all the mistakes but he decides to give it to sam anyway, he can play it off as a joke gift that sam doesn't have to actually wear, but when sam puts it on and tells him he loves it,,,, well bucky is so happy he gets a little choked up

sam wears it All The Time and y e s hugs from behind whenever bucky sees,,, mayhaps sam catches on to this at some point also and wears the sweater when he wants extra hugs or even just because the sweater itself feels kinda like a hug since it's really warm and soft and also bucky made it for him

[turtle-steverogers]

she is very long so. enjoy😌

- Steve n Bucky going to the bodega down the street from their apartment. it’s open till like 4am and they go at all hours. sometimes they’ll go separately but they always go together when they go in between 12-4 am and no one who works there questions why

- they get a cat that they treat her like their child. it’s Alpine ofc😌 steve loves her so much but he knows it’s Bucky’s Cat and he’s fine with it

- you know how some siblings or partners or friends can communicate with their eyes and basically have telepathy? they totally have that and it annoys the shit out of every single person they meetjdksndks. someone will be talking to them and they will just make eye contact with each other bc it reminded them of an earlier convo they had or they both got annoyed by the other person or it reminds them of an inside joke or something and it just irritates EVERYONE. no one is able to intercept it and it’s just a thing that no matter what - even though they don’t mean to - you’ll feel a little left out when you’re with steveandbucky. it just comes with the gig. i like to imagine that depending on if it’s an au or not, its either really obvious or not. like in an au then yes it’s obvious they can have non verbal conversations, but if it’s not an au then it’s not entirely obvious bc they’re enhanced humans and they know how to hide their secret conversations. but everyone they talk to is essentially an enhanced human or has special abilities so it’s obvious to them and they catch them in the act LOL. if they’re interacting with regular people then it’s not very obvious though

- DATE NIGHT!!! yes they’re old yes they have date night. when they go out it’s usually to places in their neighborhood, but a lot of the time they like to stay in bc. they’re old men <3 steve is better at cooking and bucky is better at baking bc you can get creative with cooking and steve likes that more. he enjoys baking a lot too but he thinks bucky’s stuff tastes better. whenever they stay home though there’s ALWAYS a movie. always. they alternate choosing but there is always a movie to watch. bucky usually falls asleep nearing the end and steve plays with his hair😌 he rolls his eyes cause it happens every time but he actually likes when it happens bc he can braid strands of hair together

- pet names oh my god. so many pet names. every single one. mainly from bucky. steve uses them but maybe like two. he favors sweetie and buck and that’s it really. sometimes he uses hon. bucky though oh my god. every single pet name under the sun. so many variations of doll you wouldn’t believe - baby doll ofc, dolly, stevie doll. sweetheart. sweetness. blondie. pretty boy. hot stuff. stevie. baby. hon. honey. sunshine. angel. it’s just so many. and it’s like very sickening insane twisted etc but hot at the same time. most people are like jeez barnes do you ever shut up… but most of these people secretly think it’s a little hot theyre thinking damn where is that affection for me…. i need me a bucky barnes :| steve is the only smitten kitten outwardly even if he huffs and puffs sometimes but it’s obvious he enjoys it. like they are so annoyingjdkssn for real they aren’t a pda couple really but the petnames….. so many. so so so many it’s sickeningly sweet but bucky dgaf! steve is his sweetheart his dolly his baby his angel so he’s going to call him these things!

- steve knows his body is what is considered “perfect” but he still is insecure about it around most people and bucky knows this so when steve lounges at home in bucky’s boxer briefs and his own tee shirt or he kicks off his pants when he’s too hot at night in bed bucky is reminded of just how much steve loves him and feels comfortable around him which is something he always strives for - to make steve comfortable. not baby him because steve bitches at anyone that does that to him but to make him feel comfortable

- and on the subject of feeling comfortable i imagine that they always check in with one another but it’s very subconscious they hardly realize they do it. like steve will bitch at bucky to pick up his shoes from their doorway or to clean his hair from the shower drain but the next second he will ask him if his back still hurts from being kicked by sam and from where steve AND alpine scratched him (in very different ways)

- steve is the sweater husband and bucky is the sweatshirt husband. they trade off a lot but that’s just how their closets look

- steve takes a liking to crop tops 😌 but ONLY around the house bc again he’s really truly only comfortable around bucky. he wears em with boxer briefs or sweatpants but you can guarantee that the briefs and sweats usually just end up on the floor 9 out of 10 times

- hair ties everywhere. they can be found on the floor in the laundry in their bed in the couch on top of the fridge on their fire escape. they are literally everywhere. steve just picks them up and puts them in the bathroom but they always make their way back. he doesn’t say anything to bucky until he finds alpine chewing one and she ends up smacking herself in the face with the hairtie

- their fridge is always full with leftovers and food from sam or clint’s or whoever’s house or takeout. they always eat it all but they get and make a lot of food so the fridge is always full

- subconsciously bucky always has a hand on the back of steve’s neck. like it’s not ENTIRELY a possessive thing but he used to do it a lot when steve was small because it was easy and it was comfortable. for him and just for him and steve. it was like swinging an arm around steve’s shoulders or putting a hand on his shoulder. it was just natural and easy so he did it. a part of him back then prewar did it possessively too, but he always tampered that down bc steve wasn’t his. now he does it without shame

- steve really likes tofu and vegan meat, non dairy milk like almond and soy, and overall a lot of non dairy vegan foods, and a lot of fruits. he gets made fun of for a lot specifically about the vegan stuff but his reasoning is that there’s so much food accessible for people with allergies in the future that he wished existed a hundred years ago so he’s going to try it and stick with it if he likes it. people shut up after that

- he also tips a little more than he needs to everywhere he goes. everywhere. like it’s cool when steve rogers walks in to a restaurant bc he’s a superhero or whatever but its REALLY cool because he leaves a generous tip and that’s what really makes peoples day

- before they get legally married they are still very much married. like “i packed you lunch, meet me at the restaurant instead of me going to pick you up bc it’ll take longer, i got takeout let’s bitch together while we watch shitty reality tv, let’s bitch at EACH OTHER through the phone in public, let’s send each other ugly pictures of each other or funny texts while we’re right next to each other, i’m out with a group and you’re not there and i say multiple times ‘i miss steve/bucky’, let’s yell at each other from opposite ends of the apartment instead of getting up to see each other, steve i’m going to fuck you on the couch bc our room is too far, etc.” they are just very much married without the documents and legalities and it’s very obvious

okay all of these were ABSOLUTELY wonderful and im really going to restrain my urge to respond to each and every one but that might be futile

-okay YES they definitely go to that bodega at all hours, and usually it's for normal things when they go separately: milk, cereal, toilet paper. but when they go in the middle of the night, they almost always purchase some like odd assortment of candies and deli meat. also, they're always in their pajamas. like bucky's in plaid pj pants and a star wars sweatshirt, and steve is in like 5" shorts and a huge crewneck and they're both in slides and they definitely only speak russian to each other when they're in there after hours

-yes alpine! they also have a dog, that is more steve than bucky's!! his name is norman in my headcanon (and a couple of my fics) and he is best boy

-okay i need more of this in my general stucky life: steve and bucky being like,,, best friends as well as lovers and being so seamlessly close. like yeah, they definitely talk with their eyes, or just one glance, or half-sentences ("hey, did you ever get to--" "yup, on the way home. it was so--" "yeah, good. glad to hear") and they know exactly what the other is saying.

-yes to the date nights!!! and when they stay in to watch movies, they make Tons of popcorn. and they Have to make separate batches, because steve will Only eat his with like half a bottle of that powdered white cheddar on his

-YES we share the same fucking headcanon for petnames on god

Steve: love you, buck:)

Bucky: love you, pumpkin

-Steve definitely has body dysmorphia, probably even post serum (I have lots of thoughts on this, that might be a different post) and yeah, Bucky definitely knows its Big that he feels comfortable enough to be exposed around him (and he's even more honored that steve lets him be intimate with him, because that's really hard for steve, too)

-yeah! and easy check ins like "ur stomach still bothering you from last night?" "oh, no it was just a little bug turns out" or like "my head hurts:(" "i have meds in my bag. you want?" "yeah, just two" or like subtly checking on injuries, yeah

-yeah the sweater versus sweatshirt tracks tbh i picture steve in a lot of crewnecks so yeah

-STEVE IN CROP TOPS STEVE IN CROP TOPS and i raise you they're often ones he's cropped himself and he's also painted on! or bleach painted!! and theyre so cool and bucky never wants to make a big deal out of it, but he's so proud of steve for expressing himself like that

-ALPINE SMACKING HERSELF ALKFJALSDKFJA also steve always has a hairtie on HIS wrist in case bucky forgets one for himself

-they also always have Steve Staple Foods cuz i headcanon steve as a picky eater (adhd!steve + serum enhancements, it's down to a formula) so they have a lot of Kraft mac and cheese and easy heat up meals and lunch meats around for when he's having bad food days

-OMG and steve absolutely MELTS i raise you, too, bucky will especially hold the back of his neck when he needs to get steve to Chill Out. so like if he sees him stressing he'll put his hand on the back of his neck and squeeze and literally feel the tension drain from him or like if steve is having a panic attack, he'll hold the back of his neck while they breathe together

-yes and also any time that steve is Choosing food for himself and feeling motivated to eat it, it's a win, so people learn to back off there, too

-yes! he tips generously, but never awkwardly or offensively. he's also super kind and patient to food service workers!

-this last point is so perfect i cant. like yeah, back to steve and bucky just being,,,, the best of friends. ugly selfies galore, shoving their feet in each other's face, flicking each others ears. and yes, all the fucking gossiping. on the phone gossip, venting, fun gossip from around work. they talk about it all. and it's so great for them

thank you again for stopping by! your thoughts are impeccable!

[harley-style]

DREAM SMP Swap AU

Dream = Wilbur : Dream comes into the server to help these two kids who are trying to stir shit up -- why not, right? He's got a fondness for chaos but also very protective and caring over his friends. VERY FOND OF TUBBO. To the point of.. well, brotherhood. Wilbur = Dream : He had a vision, to create a place where people could emancipate -- he's not above being the bad guy to keep that ideal in place. He's charming and self-confident and isn't afraid to use blackmail or get all up in your business. Has dirt on everyone but Dream. Constantly threatens secrets but subtle, yanno? Again, very charming, very persuasive.

Tubbo = Tommy : Still very sweet, but Big Crime often comes out to play more often than not. Also a huge trouble magnet, tried to start a...Honey smuggling empire? For some fucking reason, despite its innocent sounding plan, is a threat to Wilbur's land but no one has any idea why. Tommy = Tubbo : Tommy has an innate fucking fixation on music discs. He's got Cat and Mellohi personally. He dreams of starting up a music cafe/music area...? He and Dream get along swimmingly, Dream actually gifts Tommy a few music discs too, but also pins Tommy with the name discount Dave Strider.

Fundy = Eret : Was convinced earlier on by Wilbur to continue his 'legacy' and ideals. Fundy further grows into a neutral party, doing things only when it benefits him. Is the traitor from the first war. Eret = Fundy : Gets far too involved with stuff and the only way out is if he wiggles through the restraints on him. Yes that's metaphorical.

JSchlatt = Technoblade : Assists through uses of contracts and business deals. Like, hello, Tubbo's Honey smuggling business? He and Dream make an agreement, he supplies Dream and Tubbo with shit, and Dream does favors for Schlatt. Technoblade = Jschlatt : Anarchy lmfao. Was actually brought on by Wilbur in secret. Acted as a benefactor for Dream before turning around and causing chaos in the land Dream Tubbo and Tommy built. Blood for the blood god, only the strongest gets to the top kind of government. There's always fucking pitfights. Oops.

Philza = Callahan : Largely uninvolved in the events, mostly just there to supervise Wilbur, Tommy and Techno. Duh. Callahan = Philza : Has personal history with Dream, tries to convince him not to do the thing that could hurt everyone else. Minimally succeeds.

Alyssa = Niki : Ready to defend her home and her family. Niki = Alyssa : Neutral, but ready to back Wilbur up if need be.

Sapnap = Bad : Arsonist, goes around and burns shit whenever he wants to. His base is a Nether inspired fortress. Also, he has to deal with a Nether problem in reference to the Red Vine problem from the original SMP. Hotlands? LMFAO Bad = Sapnap : Helps when asked. Started out on Wilbur's side, as a favor, but slowly shifts neutral due to the conflict between factions.

Karl = Skeppy : Gets held hostage? That's what preoccupies Sapnap's time. He suddenly disappeears or gets trapped in a cell. Skeppy = Karl : Runs around doing supply runs. Gets his friends into various stints to try and settle the conflict through friendly rivalry and competition. It doesn't always work.

George = Ranboo : Unlike original Ranboo, George is highly unsympathetic and needs concrete fucking facts before he acts, and that kind of backfires on him in the end. As a favor to Dream (how many favors is Dream involved in honestly) he runs messages back and forth from Tubbo to Tommy. Ranboo = George : Largely uninvolved in the conflict, like Niki, but unlike OG George, is not absent. He's just there to assist. One of the most innocent and purest people on the SMP, knows when to keep his head down. When his house burns down, he doesn't really believe its Tubbo who did it -- he knows the kid has been framed because he'd been WITH him at the time, but Wilbur pressures him to admit it.

Quackity = Punz : Wilbur's loyal paid henchman. Quackity will cause shit for the appropriate price, he's not exceptionally picky. That stunt he did as Mexican Dream was great and everyone in L'Manberg loved it. Punz = Quackity : One of the best fighters under Techno. Has more morals, but keeps them secretly. Very good at hiding his true intentions/feelings.

(sorry about the other characters not being on here, i dont know them enough to make swaps, or dont know who they'd make a good swap with. Swap who you wanna swap though! i'd like to hear your take on this matter! HEADCANONS ACCEPTED TOO AT THIS POINT EVERYTHING HERE IS FROM WHAT I REMEMBER AND MY HEADCANONS)

PLOT

-Wilbur starts the SMP with Niki, slowly invites others like Ranboo, Tommy, and Tubbo.

-Tubbo expresses a desire to Fuck Shit Up and Tommy says they can get Dream, he's an expert at getting away.

-Dream is extremely protective of them both. Tubbo more than Tommy but that's fine because Tommy is largely independent.

-Tubbo gets in the weirdest shit but Tommy can roll with the punches really quickly.

-Wilbur gets tired of their crap and burns down Tubbo's establishment. It's like the Disc Wars except it's the Great Honey War. Bee War? Basically he's tired of Tubbo hogging all the Honey related expenditures.

-Dream gets the idea to make a honey smuggling empire, as a joke, but Tubbo is Big Crime and he's going with it. Tommy just wants chaos, and he was getting bored tbh.

-Eventually the Honey thing turns into Resource management, so Tubbo Dream and Tommy have a hold on all major supplies

-Shit happens and Dream, Tubbo, Tommy, Eret, Sam, Fundy and Alyssa establish an independent nation. Dunno what to call it bc the server is called the L'manberg SMP so....

-The fight for indepencence still happens. Instead of 'Green boy' Wilbur is named 'E-boy'. Dream still says "WE HAVE NO MERCY FOR YOU" when Wil calls for a ceasefire negotiation, but Wilbur does threaten the nation saying  "If there is no white flag by tomorrow, then you can kiss your sorry little arses good bye. That's my final warning."

-Turns out Fundy's been secretly funneling information to Wilbur in exchange for the safety of his friends, and also because Wilbur's his dad....uhm. Also! He and Dream are circling each other and others are like "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE DEAD RINGERS FOR QUEERPLATONIC MATES JUST MARRY ALREADY" bc I like FundyWasTaken but others might not and its okay, we'll label it as platonic, but can be read otherwise depending on your tastes. But for this, it's very close platonic.

-Wilbur goads Tommy into a fight, as brothers do, but Tubbo steps in and Wilbur fucking jumps at the chance.

-This is the start of Dream's descent into madness. No one fucking threatens or pulls one of his friends like that. Denied. It's still subtle though, so he's okay for now.

-Tubbo and Wilbur face off. When Tubbo pulls back bc he genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone, Wilbur takes the chance and beats him.

-Tubbo, however, makes a deal. Let their nation stand on its own, and he'll give up the Resource Empire he started. Wilbur accepts, with the condition that they unify their alliance with a...marriage? So basically, political marriage between Wilbur's heir, Fundy, and Dream, the leader of the revolution.

-YEAH I WENT THERE THIS IS VALID

-They're strained at first, but Dream and Fundy slowly mend their relationship post-betrayal.

-Fast forward a few months later. The Nation doesn't really have a leader, as per the agreement, but it does have a representative. All decisions are made via majority votes, and that decision is voiced by the rep and sub-rep, Dream and Tubbo respectively. Tommy's just there to have a good time and causes chaos as per usual.

-Enter Technoblade. He's been called in by Wilbur to...ah. Dismantle a little...nation. Sounds right up his alley. But he asks Wilbur to wait and see what happens.

-Tommy and Dream get the idea to hold a tournament to celebrate their independence, an all out brawl for everyone to kick back and relieve stress. There. That's where Techno comes in.

-He gets Punz to join him after like, being paid (ofc) and they fucking dominate the tournament. Dream's about to congratulate them but Techno turns the fuck around and declares his right to rule the nation. If anyone wants to fight him for the title, they're welcome to try.

-Dream loses another life to Techno trying and failing to fight it. He and a few others lost their first life sometime elsewhere? I guess? Probably by being blown up by Wilbur, idk.

-Tubbo and Dream are chased out by people who reluctantly follow Techno's orders, and Tommy, torn between his friends and his brothers, stays behind. Oh jeezus.

-Since Techno is a fighting GOD, no one's able to usurp him to make things turn back to normal. But Dream is smart, and knows Wilbur's 100% behind this. Fundy kind of knew but didn't do shit about it, which is why Dream rejects Fundy's offer of sanctuary. He can't be sure his husband will stay on his side, after all. It's nothing personal.

-Dream and Tubbo hide away somewhere, probably not a ravine but?? A mountain or something? They manage to get Sam away enough to ask him to build a super cool Redstone contraption thing that opens for them. ooooo.

-I'm not good at names but for the sake of jokes I'm gonna call their land the 'Bee's Knees' bc at some point Tubbo finds a fuckton of Hives hanging from Trees. Bee Mountain if Dream's feeling especially salty.

-SPEAKING OF DREAM. his insanity is on course now, it's slowly eating away at him and in fear of hurting Tubbo he's slowly distancing himself away. Tubbo's like what's wrong but Dream can't answer -- he doesn't know what's wrong with himself either.

-Tubbo and Dream need to go back and confront Techno, but they can't wait for long else Techno's going to obliterate everyone and their extra lives. They call Schlatt in.

-Schlatt's a pure business man and draws up a contract. He'll aid them in terms of supplies, but most of the revolution is on them. They agree.

-Tommy is actually really fucking good at lying and skirting around what he reveals to Dream and tubbo as a spy that Techno would have believed him if he didnt' know his brother. and Wilbur's warnings, of course. That results in Techno just being fucking done with Tommy's bullshit and plans his execution in another tournament? I guess?

-It doesn't go like the festival. First of all, Schlatt can't fight for shit, so why would Techno call him up the stage? No, Schlatt fights dirty. techno doesn't set much rules so theres no rule against poisoning Tommy quick and easy before the fight. Tommy loses another life and is on his last. Tubbo is spitting mad, but Schlatt points out that nothing in the contract covered this, so he's free to do as necessary. Tubbo is stopped by Dream who, at this point, is just overtaken by the need to one-up Techno.

-Also, Wilbur's been slowly persuading Dream to just. Let go. Let the monster inside of him free, he 'deserves it'. By the end of it all, Dream does. He snaps and lets loose the monster crying for blood inside him.

-Callahan is left to convince his old friend not to do it. In a moment of clarity, Dream stares on in horror of what he'd done. In his rage he managed to deplete ALL of Techno's lives (not really but shhhh), cause massive bloodshed, and terrified everyone in the process. He asks Callahan to kill him. Callahan does.

-Yes we'll get to Ghost Dream eventually.

-Anyway, Schlatt still does the Wither plan, because, uh, Drunken Rage. He was so stressed out from the ensuing conflict that he's like "LETS JUST FINISH THE REST OF YOU. THERE WILL BE NO CONFLICT IF YOU ARENT THERE TO FIGHT."

-and then he uses the line from the Lego movie on Tubbo like "Oh, Tubbster. It's nothing personal. It's just Business(tm)".

-Schlatt still dies of stroke. He does come back as a ghost though, that's one main difference.

-After everything's said and done, and the dust has settled, everyone decides to disband the nation, and just live their lives. like, they're done, wilbur, they get your point, jfc, let them rest.

-but uhhhh someone frames tubbo for setting fire to ranboo's (the server sweetheart) house. wilbur immediately decides to exile tubbo in 'anger'. acutally, he wants tommy and tubbo separated.

-tommy's not standing for it though, he fucking fights his way until wilbur threatens him and tubbo's like YES FINE OKAY I'LL AGREE TO BEING EXILED STOP THREATENING YOUR BROTHER

-tubbo's exile arc is not as sad as tommy's, but rather very tense because wilbur keeps riling tubbo up and taunting him. he still keeps contact with tommy though because they arent going to be separated just like that. no way. tubbo just gets a little more mad and gets short tempered like a lot.

-ranboo's not even that mad about it, he knows tubbo would never burn his house, there was a conspiracy on board and even if there wasn't he's like "arent yall overreacting its just a house, didnt you all do this like before the first war even began, what even (also, ranboo was WITH tubbo at the time of his house allegedly being set on fire. Not that he'll admit to it, because he and tubbo made that agreement long before)

-eventually he finds out that wilbur just wanted to pin the blame on tubbo to make him leave, and ranboo's like "IM DONE WITH YOUR CRAP WILLBUR STOP HURTING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT" and leaves

-with the nation gone, people started to solidify their groups. sapnap and karl deal with their own thing, quackity still runs errands for wilbur, george is the main person ferrying messages from tubbo to tommy back and forth, etc.

-there's a funeral for dream, ofc, fundy arranged it. all of dream's shit was hidden because fundy doesnt want wilbur to get it.

-niki's still there managing her bakeshop but doubles as an informant for wilbur because she's well liked within the server

-ghost dream is present and he's a chaotic troll who mostly hangs around tommy. he's really hyper active and is always on the move, you can never catch him sitting still for like, 5 minutes

THAT"S ALL I HAVE FOR MY SMP SWAP AU PLEASE BE GENTLE I DONT HAVE TIME TO GET ALL THE FACTS STRAIGHT FROM THE OG SMP qwq

[finalfrontierpioneer]

2020 Fic Recs

Okay, I did a fic rec list last year for 2019, and nobody asked for this, but you know what, I’m gonna do another one. Really the only thing I wanna look back on about 2020 is the fic- bc damn there were some good ones!

Same as last year, these are fics that were completed in 2020. (So no in-progress fics here)

So here goes, 20 fic recs for 2020, in no particular order! And full disclosure, these are all totally different ratings/pairings/whatever.

I tried to tag all the authors who had tumblrs, but i probably missed some, and some of them aren’t actually working but hey! the username is there!

Some stucky bc of course

Sharpened Claws by tragicama (Explicit)

Steve Rogers has a unique talent of getting himself into danger. As one of New York City’s best homicide detectives, it isn’t easy to ignore the constant call of trouble and gore. At least, that’s what he tries to tell his overprotective and brooding boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, even if he knows it might be a lie.

Bucky is dangerous, gorgeous. . .and a werewolf. As the Alpha of New York City, he is easily considered the most powerful being in the world. But when Bucky begins to lose his control over his shift, he slowly becomes aware of a bond that sends him reeling, and one he’d never thought possible.

But everything is not as it seems. After a homicide case unleashes a sequence of events that neither Steve nor Bucky are prepared for, they soon find themselves entangled with a danger that threatens to rip them apart. With the help of Steve’s partner and best friend, Sam, Bucky and Steve navigate a dark web of pack politics, masquerade balls, and a crash course in what it means to be a pack, even as a greater danger looms. And one that might succeed in ripping them apart.

These Happy Gilded Years by crinklefries @spacerenegades, nalonzoo (Teen)

Steve Rogers, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and mostly happy disposition, had lived twenty-three years in the world with very little to distress or vex him.

( Steve is wealthy and and charming, with good humor and good temper, doted upon by his mother and the highest of New York Society, with no one to ever criticize or say the word no to him. Well, other than Bucky. But he doesn't count.

He is also warm and friendly and has a talent for matchmaking. Or so he thinks. Actually, he's kind of terrible at it.

Importantly, Steve will definitely never fall in love or marry, himself. He tells everyone this, repeatedly. Well anyway, we'll see about that. )

Jane Austen's Emma, but a little gayer, set in 1890s Gilded Era New York City

Demon Seed by SucculentHyena (Mature)

[Transcript 00:11:48]

MS: You were with him the most throughout the course of events, both before and after. Your account could shed light on something we may have missed.

JB: What difference will that make?

MS: It could make all the difference. Captain Rogers’ case is unprecedented, he’s the most intact victim we’ve ever recovered-

JB: [laughing] You call that intact?

A Noble Steed by alby_mangroves @albymangroves or @artgroves, leveragehunters (Teen)

"You say the Warhorse showed up last night," Sam said in tones of profound doubt.

"Yeah," Steve replied.

"The Warhorse. The Warhorse of legend. Daelland's Warhorse."

"The same as the one on the back of the transit card, yes."

"And he appeared in your living room?"

Steve eyed the Warhorse, very large and very black and giving him a dubious look out of his strange grey eyes. "He's standing in it right now."

"Uh huh," Sam said.

"Hey, I'm not any happier about it than you are."

* * *

Steve's mom had left Daelland long before he was born, following her heart to New York, but she'd raised him on stories of its famous Warhorse. Before she died, he'd promised he'd go back and learn the country she'd come from.

That was why he was in Daelland. Not so Daelland's legendary Warhorse could appear in his living room. But planned or not that's what had happened—now Steve had to figure out what to do about it.

a hat, a horse (a Hyundai), and the will to ride by elkane @elkane, synonym4life @synonym-for-life (Explicit)

After Steve and Bucky rescue their pals from the Raft prison, they decide to dig deeper into Zemo’s involvement in the UN headquarters’ bombing which sends them on a backpacking trip across select European countries. Steve and Bucky believe this is a story about their mission. Scott Lang and Sam Wilson, who join them halfway through, believe it’s a story about their Eurotrip (and they’re probably right). This writer, however, has been waiting to tell you that the fic’s true mission is Steve and Bucky missioning towards missionary.

Follow them on their journey across Europe in tiny cars, packed subway trains and even on skis as they tumble down the Swiss Alps (in a fun way this time!), all the while reigniting untold feelings of the past through inappropriate sexual encounters and terrible communication skills.

someday at christmas (there’ll be no wars) by stevebuckiest @stevebuckyinc (not rated)

A mission on Christmas. Not even on Christmas, technically. A mission after Christmas which means he and Steve and the Howlies will be trekking through the tundra towards possible death on what used to be Bucky’s favorite day of the year. Jesus Christ.

(alternatively: bucky and steve try to make the best of a shitty situation)

the cabin by natalie_nebula (Explicit)

It felt like he… It felt like they were always so close. Everything seemed like it was under control. He remembers hearing Wanda’s voice, seeing a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. He remembers yelling something back at her, telling her to stop, to not come any closer. He remembers a bright flash, then a boom, and ringing in his ears. He remembers a black blur, and hands on his back, around his waist, then—darkness…

After the explosion in Lagos, Steve wakes up in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and all he knows is that Bucky's the one who brought him there. While Sam, Nat, and the other Avengers try to figure out what happened to their friend, Steve takes the time away to heal—both his relationship with Bucky, and with himself. My cozy, romantic, and introspective Civil War rewrite.

Every Feeling by Nestri (Explicit)

Steve completely surprises Bucky with a visit, scent thick with heat. The Alpha keeps his hands to himself until Steve makes it clear he doesn't want him to.

Halbarry!

A Speedster and a Space Cop get into a Car by ChocolateTeapots @chocolateteapotsvis (Teen)

Hal and Barry embark on their most perilous mission yet: picking Wally up from the airport.

For Halbarry Week, Day 3: First Times “And you just called me Barry, genius”

Crosswind by Cinderstrato (Explicit)

Hal had collected plenty of regrets over the years. What was the weight of one more?

Just A Mark by the_butler @the-butler-fanstuff (Mature)

“What a nerd.”

Barry had been haunted by these words all his life, seeing as they were his soulmate’s mark. It came out during puberty, just like everyone else’s, but by then he was already well on the way to being a ‘nerd’ so to speak. He wasn’t just some guy claiming to be nerd because he was into Dungeons and Dragons or anime, oh no. He was a bona fide science nerd- went to interstate science fairs and competitions even.

—————(Originally a one-shot, now continued)——————

Barry Allen was working at the forensics lab of Central City PD when it waltzes the new transfer from Coast City, Detective Hal Jordan, not just into the lab but also into his life. There’s the matter of them being soulmates- but Barry is unconvinced. Science tells him there’s a likely chance that they’re just platonic soulmates, so Hal suggests an experiment of sorts: they go on three dates, and then decide whether or not they’re just platonic, or something more.

Tired by ceelolights @ceeloilights (Gen)

Hal comes home to Barry still working late into the night.

Last but most certainly not least, Jeronica:

The long way round to heaven by Bearfacedcheek (Mature)

“This could screw everything up. Jesus why couldn’t you just, fucking not?”

“I did just fucking not Jughead,” she retorts hotly. “I’ve been not for months. No one was ever supposed to know, least of all you. So, don’t blame me for what you saw when you invaded a private moment.”

“Oh, my bad Veronica,” sarcasm, his most comfortable armour, wraps itself around his words. “Did my near-death experience compromised your privacy? I’m sorry that my spirit took an astral fucking walk out of my almost corpse and y-”

“Don’t,” she gasps. Her hand flies to her mouth and it trembles visibly as she draws it away. “Don’t say that. Jesus Jughead we almost lost you.”

sadder, badder, cooler by thefudge @thefudge (Teen)

AU. Just who is Veronica's mysterious new husband? (based on season 5 spoilers)

all i’ll ever need is you by whatacoolkid @whatacoolkid (Teen)

jughead and veronica but make it ✨christmas✨

destined to be forgotten by bothromeoandjuliet @kindnessinpain2000 (Teen)

There are plenty of broken things in Riverdale - broken families, broken trust, broken hearts - but in the middle stands the two most broken things of all, Veronica Lodge and Forsythe 'Jughead' Jones.

(Jughead and Veronica learn about the Barchie kiss - this is the aftermath)

I Really (Don’t) Know What I Want by Bella_Dahlia @bella-dahlia (Mature)

There were many potential disasters to befall an average weirdo high school student; when one had an active imagination and a love for John Hughes films, as Jughead Jones did, you sort of assumed you had foresaw the possibilities. Plus, after solving a sordid murder and joining a gang, he really thought he gone through his fair share of teenaged trauma.

Having to fake a relationship to save his best friend from dedicating his life to a mafia and getting punched repeatedly in the process definitely had not crossed his mind before now.

——————————————

Or, Jughead and Veronica don’t really know what they’ve gotten themselves into.

all the lovers with no time for me by Krewlak (Mature)

jeroncia goes to stonewall. that's it. that's the fic.

call it what you want to by an_expensive_imagination (Teen)

“First things first,” Veronica says, reaching up to slide the ever-present gray beanie off his head, “no beanies in college.”

And here’s a one off random spideypool:

Shooting For Your Heart by X_Gon_Give_It (Teen)

“In my defense, I didn’t expect you to get hurt.”

“And I didn’t expect to be run out of town, yet here we are.”

He went suddenly stiff, “Wait...you were run out of town?”

“As if you didn’t know,” Peter grumbled, but when he looked up he did a double-take at Wade's confused expression. “Almighty, you really don’t know, do you?” he snapped the drawer shut, “Well, after that little fiasco by Two-Stone Canyon, a little rumor spread that me and you were in cahoots. The rumor got some ground and it turned the whole town against me. I was run out before I could defend my case. Why'dya think I was out there the other night to begin with?”

<><><><><><>

When Peter Parker, a deputy known as Webslinger, gets accused of working with the West's deadliest outlaw he finds himself on the run from the people he once trusted. In an effort to prove his innocence, he finds himself captured by the very outlaw tarnishing his name.

[sortasirius]

“Destiny’s Child” and the Destiny of...Them

So that was..........A Lot.

Liked A LOT about it, a lot more than a usually do with Buckleming, but uh, some issues.  Eugenie didn’t really need to bring up Busty Asian Beauties, that had gone and we didn’t need more of it.  And I hate any mention of John Winchester that is positive, whether it’s in an AU or hammering home how poor of a father he is, but other than some details, this was a wild ride that I mostly enjoyed and have a lot to talk about.  They certainly crammed a lot in there.

Starting from literally the very beginning, they’re hitting us with some sick parallels in the “Then” portion of the episode.  Listen, y’all know me.  Y’all know I am.......Not A Fan of M*g or M******l, I am, however a Rachel Miner stan, so when the “Then” started out with the pizza man and the cringy kiss from “Caged Heat” I sorta rolled my eyes but held out hope for a Rachel cameo bc I.....lov her.  But then.............”I learned that from the pizza man” is compared directly with Dean being mistaken for a pizza man?  And then eating pizza in like 20 different scenes?  Could the production be louder???????  There is, in my opinion, literally no other way to take that, that was a sequence that basically said “Dean taught Cas how to kiss” and I will not be accepting dissenting opinions at this time.

Also AU Sam and Dean were so dumb and I appreciated their stupid Fiat and the song that played when they got out of the car, thanks Amyn, I appreciate you dawg.  And then Sam and Dean explaining it to Cas?  Thanks base gods.

Cas was so fucking sassy in this ep and I......love him so much.

The idea of killing Amara is interesting, mostly because it brings her into play again, we saw in the beginning of the season that she just....doesn’t give a fuck about any of this, but the boys don’t know that, so maybe she’ll become an ally?  Idk, here’s hoping.  I miss her.

And when Cas and Dean have this exchange about the occultum:

“It was housed for hundreds of years in an ancient before it was-”

“Plundered by pirates!”

“No-”

“It was...dug up by tomb raiders!”

“No.”

“It was...seized by the king of the dead and his warlords amiclose?”

“Looted by invading mongol hoardes for trade on the black-”

“Black market, yeah I was gonna say that next, that was the next one.”

Like.....can y’all say MARRIED?  Anyway.

Danneel and Gen???  Together???  Ruby and Sister Jo????  Together???? I’m gay.

I’m SUPER interested in the convo that Jack and Cas have in the kitchen, specifically about Dean:

“Will he ever forgive me?”

“You know, Dean...he feels things more acutely than any human I’ve ever known.  So, it’s possible he could work through this.  One day he may explode, let it all out, breathe deeply and move on.”

“How long will that take?”

“I don’t know.”

Can we say PARALLELS fam??  First of all, Cas is so in tune with Dean, he knows him so well, knows how much he cares how deeply he loves.  Honestly it causes me chest pains to think about it for too long.  But Cas knows this because he just went through it, Dean “couldn’t forgive” and “couldn’t move on” until he had an Outburst in Purgatory and begged asked Cas to forgive him for how he acted.  It’s an interesting parallel because it isn’t a direct parallel: Dean was the one that asked forgiveness of Cas, not the other way around.  It’s a little detail, but at this point every little detail seems to be important down the road.

Also there were a lot of Looks between Dean and Cas and they were all soft and I gtg

And then we get the big mention: the first mention of Cas’ deal since last season.  I knew the writers wouldn’t just write this plotline off, and Cas is, “far from happy” as he says himself.  So.....not to clown.....but if getting Jack back doesn’t make him happy............what does? (I think we know)

And then Cas in the Empty, looking for Ruby, and runs into “Meg” (Rachel I missed u).  And I think it’s fascinating that the Empty appeared as Meg specifically.  The Empty knows Cas, of course, but, more specifically, the Empty knows EVERYTHING about Cas.  “I know who you love, what you fear.”  And the Empty appears to Cas as someone that he TRUSTED, not as someone that he loved.  It’s an important distinction, because if the Empty wanted to appear as something that would RATTLE Cas, it would appear as someone that he loved or hated, but he trusted Meg, that’s why it appeared to him as her.

Also, “go get her, pizza man” after that intro?  Really just hammering home that Dean is the pizza man with all the subtlety of an elephant imho.

Also Concerned Husband Dean is alive and well, he doesn’t even hesitate, he makes Jack bring Cas back immediately, important information be damned.

But before Cas leaves, Empty!Meg says something that should NOT be glossed over, about Death’s plan to defeat Chuck, “Funny thing about her plan though, she didnt say anything about needing you.”

How many times have we heard this this season?  How many times has Cas occupied the negative space?  “No one mentions Cas,” the loudness of his absence after the breakup, when he was kidnapped by Leviathan in Purgatory, not being mentioned in Billie’s plan, and now? Fret not my friends, I know so many people are worried about Cas, but Andrew Dabb is a Cas stan first and a human second, and all of these mentions or lack thereof of Cas being a part of the endgame?  It just makes him all the more important, because he’s a surprise attack, Chuck never sees him coming because he doesn’t consider him important.

And when Cas comes back and Dean calls him an idiot?  Some serious callbacks to one of the gayest episodes and one of my personal faves: “Lily Sunder has Some Regrets.”  They be married.

AU Sam and Dean were very wrong and I did not wike it and that’s that on that tbh.

So they get to the church, Sam holds the door against the hellhounds like the badass boy he is, and Dean and Cas really do just stand exactly where a couple getting married would stand, with Jack standing where the officiant would stand.  I mean.....it’s LOUD.  It’s just real LOUD in here.  Also pretty fucking ON THE NOSE that Jack stands in front of Jesus, Cas in front of Mary, and Dean in front of Joseph.  I’m not qualified to do religious iconography meta but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh come on now.

That snake sequence...Jack’s life flashing before his eyes before he gets his soul back?  Ya boi weeps.  Buckleming had no right to write something as amazing as Jack’s snake sequence and final scene, it shouldn’t be allowed and it was not what I was expecting.

So.....there was a lot happening in this episode but, y’all know I sound like a broken record here, Dean and Cas were, once again, the overwhelming and blatant focal point.  Sure I watch with my eyes tuned to them especially, but they’re really cranking up the volume over here.  The Empty deal is back and unresolved, Cas talks to Jack about Dean’s forgiveness, Dean’s fearful when he thinks he’s lost Cas again, the fucking pizza man.  It all points one direction.

[themagicben02]

These killed me with Damie so now I'm also going to ask you to name some things you love about Rory :P

oh anon, but where do i even begin? i’m going to try and limit myself but it’s just so hard because... him :P

well okay i teased you guys enough

remember when i messaged jamie trying to kill him? i’ll repeat something i said there bc it’s very true. rory’s eyes are so blue, and when maxxie looks at me (i bet it will be the same with sam) i see rory in his own, which makes my chest tighten up every time

he is so nice to hug, he has strong arms but at the same time he can be so soft and comfortable, see my sidebar? yeah, never enough of him

i really like how our relationship progressed bc i feel like we have a lot of growth, and he's a big part of that. going from that annoying friend to genuine best friends, to clueless boys with a crush, to full-on falling so hard i’m not even sure i ever stopped? wouldn’t want anyone else, let alone have this perfect family with anyone else

rory is also still visibly gone on me like... i can’t tell you how cute it is when i kiss him and it’s like his soul leaves his body and he giggles and... god. how do i live

i also love his humor. A+++ and works wonders with mine. we love a husband who makes you laugh easily and is so in sync with you he even makes your jokes better

i s2g he smiles and the sun comes out, it’s not even an exaggeration. our boys totally got the dimpled sunshine-smiles from him first and me second (:p)

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

You are the one in my heart (Part II)

(11x13)

Hello! I bring to you another meta from this collection – the second part! We will keep talking about broken hearts and how in love Dean is with Castiel. I know you love this topic. And I just decided this will have a third part because I have so many things to say...

First of all, I want to say thank you to @destielle , she's the beta reader of this mess. Thank you for making my meta look so pretty 😘💕💕

Cheating and love triangles

Episode 11x13 is titled 'Love Hurts' and it fits perfectly because, remember how Dean felt so hurt when Casifer tried to use him as bait? Okay. We all agree he suffered a heart break then, and that’s why the Banshee could get to him. Now, this episode talks about broken hearts, too… but also about a cursed kiss: Amara's kiss.

The episode opens with a husband cheating on his wife with their babysitter. It’s a love triangle functioning as a Destiel mirror, but they add in some spicy confusion to the subtext: Melissa (the depressed wife) is the Cas mirror, we have Stacey, the babysitter, for Amara and Dan as Dean.

So when we have Stacey saying: "Ew, I can taste her mom lipstick…you’re telling her tonight, right?" we get the mirrored thoughts of Amara after kissing Dean, who is, too, already taken, compromised – bonded with Castiel. 

And when Dan says: "I told you it’s not that simple. Mel and I…we’ve been together since we were your age. We have a house, a baby…we have a whole life together." He's talking about marriage, a serious commitment, which works as the perfect parallel to Dean and Castiel’s long-term relationship.

So when the Qareen appears in the form of Dan and rips Stacy's heart out from her chest (and vice versa a little further into the episode), we are still talking about broken hearts. But we get confused because Dan admits his love for the babysitter, and therefore could never hurt her. Because you don't hurt the one you love (obviously if Dean had listened a little closer to Dan, he surely would have recalled that nefarious chat with Casifer where he proposed to put Dean in danger).

So, going with the assigned roles, let’s say if Dan is Dean and Stacy is Amara, does that mean when Dan is saying he loves Stacy, not his wife, that Dean loves Amara, and not Cas? No. Not at all. Because the upcoming scenes and what Dean says by the end of the episode will clarify: THE KISS AMARA GAVE HIM IS A CURSE AND HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH HER.

Now, I want to share with you my beta's clarifying thought, that calmed my shipping heart...

"Hi, destielle here, rudely taking advantage of beta’ing to add a thought: I think the babysitter merely posed as a temptation, something Dan tried out because it’s kind of forbidden and dangerous and therefore exciting, plus conquering a girl stimulates his self-worth but - breaking up with his wife never really was a heartfelt intention. Because getting it on with the babysitter is not only a clichée, but also only fun for a little while, because everything, in the end, will lose its newness and therefore allurement and so I suspect he knew that sticking to what he has, a long-term thing that lasts, is the better road to go by far. Plus there’s a difference between true love and excitement induced infatuation. The ladder will fade, love will last and grow stronger bc it’s built upon a solid foundation."

This is so true, and couldn't be more agreed! Thank you Hannah! 😚💕

The Cursed Kiss

This was a very blatantly straight forward episode, because first it was opened with a recall to AMARA's kiss to Dean. And then they showed us how the Qareen’s curse jumped from one to the next victim via kiss. So, you have a deadly kiss, a cursed kiss… The mark of Cain’s kiss, darkness’s kiss, AMARA's kiss… that wasn't love, that wasn't good. AMARA's kiss is dark, bad, cursed and deadly.

AMARA's kiss poop? 🤣

Who's in Dean's heart?

We already know the answer, but let's dig into it anyway…

The first scene with the Winchester brothers takes place in the Bunker's kitchen the morning after Valentine's day and Dean is having a hard time trying to restore himself… he's walking funny on his way to the fridge… if you know what I mean. But mostly we wonder why that is. He's not the guy for a one-night-only-girl anymore, so what was the matter? And immediately after that question we asked ourselves Dean says this to his brother…

Sam: Is that a hickey? (Dean spits out his food)

Gif set credit @spnwhenever

Dean: And? It was valentine’s day. I can’t help it if I’m a hopeless romantic.

Sam: You got half of that right.

Dean: Just doing my civic duty. Helping all the single ladies. You know the best thing about February 14th. You don’t have to be Mr. Right. Just Mr. Right Now

Sam: That’s classy

Is this the old Dean talking? Nope, definitely not. It’s Mr Dean ‘Broken-hearted’ Winchester talking. And we get it now… Saint Valentine's day, he wasn't with his Mr. Right (Cas)... He just took what was right in that moment. It’s very very sad. But Dean needs to frame it more classy, to make it more cool.

Now, I want to talk a little about Melissa. When she realizes she maybe went too far with her spell, she turns to Dean and Sam, and she says this…

Melissa: yes. A return to love spell. All I had to do was chant it and seal it with a kiss. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear. I just wanted my husband back.

This is sad too, and gives us, if we take that as a feeling mirrored from Cas, a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he said ‘Yes’ to Lucifer in the cage. And again it’s the motive of the CURSED KISS, one with dark intentions… we already learned AMARA's kiss is bad and not good, but now we get even more confirmation of this when Dean kisses Melissa, taking the curse on him that way. WE GET IT WRITERS!

Gif credit @clairvoyantsam

Sam: So the curse is transmittable?

Just like Cain's mark, the curse, the kiss, the love spell, all of them are transmittable.

Sam: Apparently not in him. The person who holds the Qareen’s heart is the one who commands it.

Sam is giving us a lot of clues here: Who has AMARA's heart? Dean. But who has Dean's heart? Castiel. So Dean can direct his own will to reject AMARA's offer. And this is the secret why DEAN CAN RESIST HER.

So, with this statement in our heads, let's analyze the Qareen’s and Dean’s encounter…

The Qareen takes the form of people’s darkest desires. So… he took AMARA's shape.

The Qareen sensed Dean's longing in his heart, but it failed in personifying it. Because Dean's darkest desire is not dark, it’s full of light, but is hidden, because it’s so repressed. His deepest is a secret, it’s his love for Castiel.

Amara: Who I am doesn’t matter. The real question is who are you?

Dean: What do you mean who am I?

She can't read him, Dean Winchester is a mystery, she can't get to his true feelings, she can't reach them. Dean has them sealed away very, very deep down in his soul. Like a treasure.

Amara: You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.

When she says Dean Winchester is a mystery it’s because she really can't read the truth in him, but she knows it’s somewhere in there. She feels it, but can't quite grasp it. And she says 'it's clocked in shame.' Because it is, because Dean Winchester is ashamed of his feelings for Castiel. He knows he shouldn't feel how he feels for his best friend, for a ‘man’, for an angel. He thinks he doesn't deserve him. So, when the Qareen touches herself saying 'when it comes to this, you can't help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.' It’s simple when it’s about women, when it’s about a curse, a love spell, the attraction is there, the curse is there, he knows it, but they're not Mr. Right. They're just there… the girls on Saint Valentine's Day are available and Amara is almost irresistible because of the curse. But Dean Winchester doesn't give in to that because he loves Castiel.

And then, Qareen!Amara can’t rip Dean's heart from his chest. Because she is not the one in his heart.

We need more evidence? What about this last dialogue between Sam and Dean…

Dean: It was Amara

Sam: That surprise you?

Dean: That doesn’t surprise you?

Sam: Honestly?

Dean: Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire?

Sam: She isn’t?

Dean: No! She can’t be!

Gif credit @samwinchesterlesbian 👇

Dean puts all his fierceness into these words, BECAUSE HE IS SURE! HE KNOWS POSITIVELY IT CAN'T BE, BECAUSE HE LOVES CASTIEL.

Sam: Why not?

Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…

Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?

Dean: For starters, yeah

Dean is afraid of the power Amara has over him, that’s it.

Dean: Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through. Send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I’m near her, I don’t know. Something happens and I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that. I’m screwed man. We wanna kill the darkness. We need to kill the darkness. And I don’t think I can. I’m sorry to do that to you, ya know, but when it comes right down to it…

The most important thing here is that Dean is aware of the curse, of the power, he knows what Amara does to him, and he is sure that it is NOT LOVE. How can he be sure that it’s not love? BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT LOVE IS, BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE IN HIS HEART ALREADY, AND THAT'S CASTIEL.

To Conclude: 

If the episode with Mildred showed us Dean was pining for someone, telling us Dean is in love with someone, then this one is yelling in our faces that person isn't Amara. And if it’s not Amara plus ‘cloaked in shame’, and Dean has gotten his heart broken recently by someone we know, we are talking about the same person: Castiel.

So it’s logical! And we made the equation just like the writers wanted us to solve it: DEAN WINCHESTER IS IN LOVE WITH CASTIEL, BUT HE'S ASHAMED OF THIS FEELING. AND AMARA HAS A DARK POWER OVER HIM THROUGH A TRANSMITTABLE CURSE: CAIN'S MARK. CANONICAL FACTS! But yeah, I'm not discovering a new world here...

I hope you liked this mess. See you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links: Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV.

Buenos Aires, June 16th 2020 18:45 PM

[pastelpastilles]

𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤

Oh, you thought my last retrospective was the end?

I can finally talk talk talk again, which is a beautiful and freeing feeling. These are sort of scattered, lost thoughts, because I just wanted to summarize the last 3 generations and some of the Process(tm) behind everything.

General Story Thoughts

Vampires really have been part of the story since the beginning. I really presented berry simblr with this weird, sorta spooky family with bat ears and fangs and tried passing them off as totally normal folks. Somehow, that worked? Dreams do come true.

Originally, Luna was going to live in Forgotten Hollow, but I changed that very last minute. Like, right after I started playing.

The vampires were actually supposed to come to the forefront in Gen 2--Verity Vine was supposed to “sense” them right after her first date with Ries (there’s a scene of her glancing behind her as they leave that clearing, the vampires were actually there!) I pushed them back to Gen 3 and I’m glad I did! I was able to create all the Forgotten Founder lore.

I actually feel pretty good about this as a “first draft.” I know what things I would change now, what should be tightened up.... Even from the first attempt at a reboot.

Now that you know about the vampires, I can explain more about how heirs are chosen... It’s the bat ears. If a child has bat ears, I generally roll to see if they have fangs.

In addition to bat ears and fangs, heirs usually do have some supernatural talent, one that might not be obvious at first. It may or may not come up in the future, but for reference...

Verity Vine is a natural dreamwalker, which we have known since the beginning.

Kabinett was seeing glimpses into the future, guys. He was having prophetic dreams the whole time. That’s why I kept insisting he wasn’t dreamwalking.

Had Maddy been Turned, she would have very much been a Succubus... Her talent is literally being desirable.

Generation 3 Thoughts

From the moment I knew I was doing “double heirs,” I knew Kabi was going to die. Really. It made it very... strange, to finally reach that point, in story, when I had already made my mental peace with it years ago.

The biggest changes were OJ’s path, and Maddy’s final form. Maddy was supposed to lose her memories, and would be forever trying to figure out what happened that night (which is sad)! 

Obviously, the biggest inspirations for Gen 3 were 80s movies and Stranger Things, as well as... Frozen! Elsa & Anna were lowkey inspirations for Kabi and Maddy, and I remember once saying that Kabi’s love story was “more Frozen and less romantic.” 

I think, if I do redo gen 3, I would make that clearer--I think at the end of the day, Kabi and OJ both sort of confused their “I love you but more than a friend” feelings. Kabi’s greatest concern was really always that OJ wouldn’t be part of his family.

Epilogue Specific Thoughts

Each epilogue was a scene I wanted to include when I was planning on a much, much longer (but different) storyline.

Kabinett’s first reveal was always going to be to Luna, after she and Maddy returned from their trip. I cut the events of their trip, though. They aren’t that important to Maddy’s arc, really. That became the first epilogue.

Sage was always going to stick around and be Maddy’s rock, so once I decided Maddy was going the vampire hunter route, I knew Sage needed to be the Willow she was always meant to be. Thus, her epilogue.

The third epilogue was actually just going to be an edit. I wanted to give The Sauce and the Murder Barn a proper send off, and originally it was to Chainsaw by Nick Jonas... And then Taylor dropped folklore and we got exile featuring the Sauce’s Demons.

This is not what his original end was--for a really long time, he was Maddy’s end game. I was pretty committed to it, and what happened was... I was driving home one day, trying to figure out reboot shit, and I just.... knew it was Ojaddy. It had to be them in the end. This was like, last year-ish. I actually stopped driving and messaged Sam like “I WAS WRONG, OJADDY IS THE END GAME” which was pretty out of the blue, ngl.

The fourth epilogue being Veriling was because I was intending on a longer, ongoing arc for Veri dealing with depression/child loss. It got condensed into that awful, sad scene that I love.

OJ’s epilogue was a VERY early scene I wrote, back when he was supposed to leave PB Bay for years and years and years and come back when Maddy was like. 30. Yeah, Kabi was always going to come back and be like “You need to let me go, bud. Please. Date my sister, carry on my family line.”

And of course... Maddy Moon. Once I knew Maddy wasn’t losing her memories of that night, that she was going to go for vampires, I knew I needed her to dust Azura. That last line of hers was what the whole thing was built around lmao

There was actually a bigger scene where she drew the Orange vampire in by flirting, and then OJ arrived and Maddy broke character bc that’s my husband fiance!

But I really wanted to finish this so... We got a rushed, condensed scene.

Reboot...?

Anyway, let’s consider those two up above. It’s kinda weird that I ended on a cliffhanger, where the heirs are on opposite sides of something Big, right? And Maddy just not knowing Kabi’s still technically alive... 

So like. About that:

The spares pretty much disappeared once I called Gen 3 done. In the reboot-version of the story (Lunacy), I cut out a LOT of Veriling’s kids.... Like I halved the amount.

I was purposefully very vague about tagging Kabi’s vampire moodboard as Kabinett Puck. That’s because I’ve been considering Veri taking Ries’ last name in the reboot, and most of my notes refer to him as Kabi Puck.

I also introduced several things that you’d think I would expand on in the epilogues, right? Luna’s gift to OJ, Maddy the Vampire Slayer... Like, there’s a lot to sink your teeth into there!

So... As we hit the epilogues, the timelines of the “reboot” and the “original draft” sort of... merged in my mind. And I really... really... want to keep exploring this world, and finishing Gen 3 off actually helped me decide certain things I would rather do with Lunacy Gen 1. 

This is a very confusing way of trying to explain that... I’m not canceling the reboot, but we are continuing... with Gen 4. Probably soon! I want to play with Ojaddy a bit, because they deserve a bit of a break, and you’ll start seeing Slice of Life stuff on my main soon.

In the meantime, coming up on this blog, I have a fun little project staring Sage that I can’t WAIT to start posting! And eventually... We’ll move back to @simmancy. Not just with my hell project (the Masquerade AU), but also with actual... bpr... content. So if you like these characters... Good news! They’re going Into the New World! And if you don’t like them, well... I think their kids are pretty cool, so. There’s that.

As always... Again, and again, thank you for reading! See you on the otherside!

- Kit

[cecilyneville]

the spanish princess ep 2:

once more unto the breach, my fellow clowns

jsyk, i am skipping a lot of scenes bc i have far better things to do with my time (even under stay-at-home orders), and i cannot for the life of me watch the maggie pole/thomas more scenes. like what is the point of keeping maggie around, she is so boring. andrew buchan what were you THINKING signing up for this 

reggie pole looks like a weird cross bw ben whishaw and sam riley

ok i take back what i said about laura carmichael last week - she’s a damn sight more talented than you-know-who. maggie still boring as hell tho

i can’t wait for the catherine/lina friendship blow-up...it’s coming & lina deserves so much better

oveido’s speech about childbirth and war...you been reading the mirror & the light dude?

THE GLOVE FROM ANNE OF BRITTANY!!!

james iv: i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life / me: i know this and i love you

as someone with a catherine of aragon icon i just want to say that i really cannot stand tsp’s catherine, she has no redeeming qualities. ef keeps trying to make her likeable by asking oviedo to stay and letting meg keep james’ body but none of it actually gels with her behaviour

[dramatic militaristic music] really just sums up the lameness of this soundtrack

margaret’s prophetic dreams! i wish they’d included the part about her queen’s jewels turning to widow’s pearls

ANGUS DOUGLAS. ANGUS DOUGLAS. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, EMMA FROST

god he’s not even hot what’s the POINT. angus is supposed to be a hot dumbass fool who is just like “hey margaret i know you’re mourning your husband and have just given birth to his posthumous son and are trying to rule the country but are you dtf yet”. what did i do to deserve an ugly angus

i don’t get why they don’t also have meg pregnant at flodden. given that catherine is presumably going to lash out with jealousy at lina, mary, bessie - literally anyone who has given birth to a living son - i think it would have been a good choice, as well as drawing direct parallels between the two women

meg’s costumes are my fave. the colour palette suits georgie and her red riding cap is v cute

catherine’s clown shoes slapping on the floor as she storms off to war

like...it’s supposed to be such a moving scene and i’m just like wow she is literally the biggest moron to have ever lived

oh now she’s going into the enemy tent. honestly can james just kill her on the spot and then the rest of the show can be about margaret in scotland and mary & brandon in france

“he’s fighting for gold from king louis” shock horror! has catherine never heard of the auld alliance or???

like, i know they’re not actually wearing kilts, but the tartan is still stupidly ahistorical - we get it, they’re scottish! 

love how catherine’s trying to do all this shit to rouse support, meanwhile in twp all elizabeth had to say was “do it for me” and all the lords were like yeah sure we love you lizzie

just in case the childbirth/war analogy wasn’t clear enough, we fucking get it emma

i’m not even going to comment about catherine physically fighting and actually killing people, this is the dumbest thing i have ever seen

meg saying james was her “best friend” would be lovely if there had been literally anything demonstrating that. georgie’s performance here is so good though. emotion! actual emotion!

so...catherine rode all the way back to london still covered in blood from the battle...once again i have no comment

also no comment on a very pregnant catherine looking wistfully on at a bird in a cage. i want to die

i know i’ve been going on about how good ruairi o’connor is - and he’s good - but i feel as if he’s a little miscast? idk, he’s just not rowdy enough for me to believe him as henry viii. his appearance and manner is very similar to jacob collins-levy though, which i appreciate

not nearly enough mary this episode imo

still stan the hell out of bessie blount. the strawberry-blonde hair! the rosebud mouth! the eoy vibes!!! (no i am not trying to suggest henry has an oedipal complex, that’s for d*vid st*rkey to do lol)

i hate that all these more interesting characters spend the whole time praising catherine for behaving like an absolute clod

emma frost has no idea how pregnancy and childbirth work (remember rosa’s miscarriage in s1?)

anyway, here’s hoping next ep will have some fun margaret in scotland scenes (lowering the portcullis at edinburgh castle...i can only dream) 

[anthonyed]

@justsomeoneunordinary prompted: Oh, and if you'd rather do angst: you intrested in any of those "winter and bucky are separate personalities" headcanons? Maybe smth where there is no bucky anymore, but only winter? No ship, or if you feel like, then buckytony (you know me, lol) bucky just gave up on life, bc he's been too much through. He doesn't feel a need to live anymore and therefore simply "dies". So only winter is left.

(i lost the ask and im on mobile so beware of long post)

tw: suicide, major character death, alcohol

-//-

It goes like this they say; 

"This happens sometime," Tony smiles, sure where he stands. He doesn't like the look on Steve's face. Or Pepper or Sam and anyone for that matter. "You know when he spaced out after that mission in Illinois? Yeah, Cap?"

Steve nods. Dead eyes flickering to life. Yes, Tony thinks. Yes. You know what I mean. You know him well. You're his best friend. You know this happens. This is normal. 

Except it isn't 

Score 1; Denial. 

Steve looks like he's sucked a lemon. He's a dead man walking as he steps into Tony's space. 

He doesn't see the gauntlet Tony's working on. All he's focused is on telling the truth. 

"He's not coming back," he says. His voice is an unrecognizable echo to his own ears. "We've checked with Strange -," 

"Not with Shuri," Tony interrupts dryly, eyes not leaving his task. 

Steve takes a deep breath and exhales, "Tony," he sighs, "She was there too. They both said it's gone. Whatever trace of him left in there is gone."

Tony's fingers still. The air thickens and vibrates. It's not safe, something in Steve's hindbrain says. But he doesn't let go. 

"It's not your fau -," 

He stumbles back, shocked. His ears are ringing and his eyes blur a bit. 

Tony's not looking at him when he says, "Get out."

Steve doesn't fight. He leaves. The hot imprint the size of Iron Man's hand burning on his cheek. 

Score 2; Anger.

"I was thinking," Tony begins, a smile on his face as he takes Bucky's hand into his. "We could go to Tokyo this week."

Bucky cocks his head left, and regards their hand. 

"You always wanted to see the blossoms right? The flowing river of sakura? I checked the forecast, I'm pretty sure we'd be able to see that this week," he beams at Bucky. 

The steak on his plate is untouched. Tony takes it upon himself to slice it into bite sizes. "We can check out all those anime, manga things you're so fond of. And maybe fly to Paris after?" He suggests bashfully, looking at Bucky from under his lashes. "I was thinking… bread and cheese under moonlight and maybe," he coughs, flushing up to his cheeks. "You know…," he shrugs. "I think it's time for me to pop the question." He finishes in a rush. "Get married there and we can go for a honeymoon and -," he runs out of breath. 

The steak is all cut up. He pushes the plate in Bucky's direction. He looks at his own and feels bile rising up to his throat. 

"Please?" He whispers, so low it's one with the wind.

Cutleries clatter. Bucky's eating. His left hand is still in Tony's clasp. 

He's there, Tony thinks. He's right there next to him; eating. But everyone keeps telling him that he's not. 

But he's right there. 

So he chases that lump into his gut and straightens up. "We'll take a fortnight off. We'll go get married and paint the world red."

Maybe then. Maybe then, you'll come back to me.

Score 3; Bargaining

"Tony," Pepper hisses, her sharp nails are pressing into the crook of his elbow. 

"Ow," he cries. "Let me go, claw-girl."

Pepper straightens up, "My apologies," she smiles, bright and remorseful. Then she says, "Excuse us, please," and she drags Tony through a back door. 

"I can't Pep," Tony hiccups, "I'm married," he holds up his hand; bright diamond ring sparkling. Pepper looks sad, so Tony crooks a finger and calls her in. Once she's close enough, he whispers into her ear, "Shhh," he slurs, a hiccup bursting through, "Don't tell anyone but my husband is dead."

When he stumbles back, Pepper catches him. "Jesus, Tony," she sniffles. Her eyes are glazed and she keeps blinking them looking up at the ceiling. "God," she breathes. 

Tony hiccups, body slanting sideways. The whole world seems to tip on its axis. He whoops at the miracle. Then he doesn't remember what happens. 

Later, there's cold metal on the side of his head. The shiver that courses through his body is a comfort he clutches on desperately. 

He has soberred enough to know where he is and who he is with. He's repulsed but at the same time, he's got no energy in him to turn away. 

"You're not him," he tells the man. Nuzzles into his hips and he fists at the soft cotton clinging onto the body that no longer belongs to his husband, and he sobs, "You're not Bucky."

Score 4; Depression.

The first thing he notes, stepping out of the elevator; red silk shirt clinging onto his weary body as he tosses his suit jacket aside, that the TV is on. 

The TV is always on these days. Always. 

Tony gulps, chasing his ache with every roll to his sleeves. Until one elbow and then to another side. 

"How was your day?" He asks, switching on the light. Another reminder of his new reality; welcome to the darkness that has become his life. 

Silence. 

"Have you had your dinner?" Tony tries again. He can do this.  

1,2; a short shake to the head and Tony breathes. 

That tight coil in his chest unravels a little. Not enough to give; to let leave, but enough for him to breath. 

He plops on the empty seat next to the man. "I've had a shitty day if you care," he sighs, tipping his head back onto the headrest. Animal Planet is on; a lion stalking its prey. 

Uninterested, Tony rolls his head to look at his companion (for life as a matter of fact. The tacky diamond ring in his bedside drawer will tell you that). 

Cold grey eyes meet his gaze. Tony puts on a smile. "Does a shitty day warrant a hug?" He asks. 

Confusion flickers in them. A slight tip of his head and Tony chokes on a sob he swallows so quickly. He masks it with an awkward laugh and boldy spreads out his arms. "Can I get a hug?" He asks directly. No subtlety. Just easy sentences. 

There's more tilt to the head, but the longer Tony keeps his arms open, the nearer he comes. Closer and closer until -

It's not a hug. But it's something. 

It's enough. 

"Thank you," Tony sniffles, rubbing his nose and turning away. His heart aches everyday. But lesser and lesser and -

"It's not your fault, Tony."

"I don't understand. We were planning to get married. He was - ," Was he really? "- so happy."

He doesn't understand, never will understand. But there's no point to it. This is his life now; dark or dull, there's a man by side who's a shadow of someone he loves. He doesn't know this guy. But, he's willing to learn. 

Pulling out the take out menus, Tony begins flipping through. He pauses at the chinese one; the letters fading from overuse. One particular order is completely faded out but Tony knows it by heart. It's Bucky's favourite. How can he not. 

He puts it away. "How about Pizza?" He asks Winter. "You can choose the toppings." He throws a smile at him and receives a shrug for an answer. 

Moving on. 

Score 5; Acceptance. 

[impala-dreamer]

NJCon and My Tattoo

Spent the day hanging out with @assbuttaf and the hubs, people watching and chilling and generally freaking out. I was only there for Sunday this year, but it was still awesome. I love being with my people <3

I did not have a Jared Op at all this year, which was odd, but it didn’t matter because I ran into him constantly. He walked passed early in the day, then as I was chilling in the vendor room, he came by to talk to his sister at her table and then walked by me again and I played it cool and went “Hey, Cliff…”, and then a third time, I was checking my phone and almost literally walked into him while he was checking out the prices of the photo ops. He’s so… Jared, ya know? <3 <3 

For my Cockles Op, I go in and I say hello to the guys, and then say “Do you think we can all be the bad guys? Casifer and Michael?” And Misha goes “Ooo, yeah!” and kinda moves me to stand between them, and Jensen looks at me funny and goes “What?” and I said “Bad guys. We’re the villains.” He still can’t hear me bc it’s like a god damned heavy metal concert in there, so he leans in next to me and yells in my ear “What!” so I lean into his ear and yell back, “Be Michael!” and he goes “Ah… cool.” and then turns towards me, puts his hand on my shoulder and CLICK! Op over. I hate my face in it, so you’re not gonna see it but the boys look awesome. 

Now for the big deal: 

I only had a general admission Sunday pass, so I had no autographs with J2. However… @justcallmeasmodeus worked some magic and hooked me up with an awesome chick who sold me her Jensen auto. (ps, turns out she knows my husband from facebook and now we’re all going to Momento Con next year but that’s another story)...

So, I’m worried. I’m freaking out. I can’t stand how anxious I am. Ash (@assbuttaf) was with me the whole time and really awesome and I love her. Finally, I get to the line, and I’m holding a freaking blank piece of paper which everyone is confused about. Jensen is signing behind a curtain, so I go through, and they’re taking groups of 4, and I happened to be #4, which was helpful, so I linger and then go up to him…

I place the paper on the table and he grabs his pen to sign and I leaned in and took a breath and asked him… 

“Would you please write my one and only tattoo?” 

He nods and grabs his sharpie, and his handler goes,

“He can’t personalize.”

I ignore her and look Jensen in the eyes and say, “I’d really like for Dean to write ‘x xxxx xxxxx’.”

And again, his handler says, kinda nasty, “He cannot personalize!” 

And Jensen looks at her, waves a dismissive hand and says, “This one’s fine.” 

And he looks back at me, no smile or anything, but dead in the eye and kinda nods and then writes it perfectly for me, and I take it and I’m like near to tears, so I thank him and walk away. I was so grateful because he shouldn’t really have done it, and really did not have to do it, but he did. He knew it was important. I’ll never forget that. 

And...That was it. 

Today, October 20, I walked into a random tattoo parlor with my husband and had Jensen Ackles’ handwritten Dean Winchester line of dialogue permanently tattooed onto my arm. 

So what is it and why? 

Not to get into everything, but I have some self harm issues occasionally, and I deal with suicidal issues as well, and heavy depression and panic and all that good stuff. 

During one of those bad nights, something struck me in our favorite television show…

Season 13, Episode 15, “A Most Holy Man”, in the wrap up scene: 

Dean: What? Come on. I know that look. What's on your mind?

Sam: I don't know. Nothing. I mean -- I mean, you know... You ever feel like we're -- we're doing nothing but playing defense? You know, bouncing from one apocalypse to the next?

Dean: Well, it's not exactly our call.

Sam: I know that, and I'm not saying we don't do good. But -- but no matter how many people we save, there will always be more people that need saving. No matter how many monsters we kill--

Dean: There's always gonna be another one around the corner.

Sam: Exactly.

Dean: Mm-hmm.

Sam: You think we could ever change things? I mean, really change things? You know, stop all the monsters, all the bad?

Dean: That would be nice.

Sam: Yeah. So what are you thinkin'? Think that'll work?

Dean: I have faith. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about Dean saying that. After everything that happened to him, to his brother, to everyone, he still had faith (let’s ignore s15 for now because that has no bearing on this.) 

My best friend @because-imma-lady-assface​ has told me so many times that she has faith in me that I can make it past the bad times and come out stronger. No matter how many times I say I can’t do it anymore, she’s always there to remind me that I can and she has faith in me that I can. 

My father was a minister and gave his life to the church and his faith, and he just passed away this year, and it’s been weird and hard, and this stuck with me too. He had enough faith to devote his life and career to it. 

Maybe, I can have faith in something too. In myself, in my family, in my life, my friends, the people who love me. In Me. I can have faith in the fight. 

So, where I can see it every day, near a place I used to open my skin, Dean Winchester will always be with me to remind me to have that faith. 

[bug-pasta]

for the lgbt asks, honestly i would love if you answered all of them bc i love you but i really want to know 2 and 4. thabk. also im going to steal your ask prompt

alright well you just uno reverse card-ed me on this and i guess ill answer them all lmao. just for you elvira

also none of my answers are gonna be fun or interesting cause it takes too much effort to care about things right now

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? okie so my pronouns are she/they and i honestly just identify as queer. i occasionally enjoy the label ‘lesbian’ (so basically girls are hot and SOME other people are hot but mostly just wow girls). also gender? nah. no identifying with anything (aka probably agender)

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? fuck dude idk girls are just Like That (also i fell in love with sam from icarly)

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? okay so yes actually! currently i wear pretty feminine clothes and dont usually mind being seen as a woman and all that shit but! i do still identify as nb. but also when i was younger people would often think i was a boy and use he/him pronouns for me which actually didnt bother me either! so idk, nothing bad

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? my sister!! she was just kinda like,, yeah that makes sense. and i never really ‘came out’ about my gender. i just started using she/they pronouns online and stuff. the only irl person ive told is my gf but again, i didnt even come out, i just told her which pronouns i preferred. 

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? akjfbsd i was like,, 12 years old? and i was soo scared the first few times. but then i realised it wasnt a big deal (except a few less good situations idk)

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? my parents are super chill about it! they said some not great things at first because they didnt know better and they still arent the best about nb things but! theyre learning and i appreciate that

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? idk uh i guess i dont like when people ask for a specific label

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. goth (its not that simple but eh)

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? see okay this is gonna take like 8 hours if i dont limit myself sO gallavich, ineffable husbands, snowbaz, reddie, johnlock, wolfstar, jenny/vastra, hannigram, natsby, boreo

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont usually wear makeup but i do enjoy some intense goth shit every once in a while. idk ive been in the goth community for so long, makeup isnt a specifically feminine thing here. 

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? yeah,, not usually too bad though. makes me feel uncomfortable

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? gosh idk man

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? uhh dude idk im out of answers. i like when people actually give a fuck about the history of the community and respect the people who’ve done everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? anyone that thinks maps belong here

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? yeah! its decent. gets a bit bigger each year, not bad for a small town. 

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? EZRA MILLER

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? yesyesyes im extrememly in love with my girlfriend. we met because she was in the same school as my sister. 

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? (im also gonna say carry on)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? not really? i dont think so

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? friCK maybe the imitation game or pride

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? @official-lucifers-child 💚💚💚

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? idk i use queer alot

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? nope! im underage but i dont think i wanna go to one anyway

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? idk i usually just go with ‘no’

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? no! i dont think ill want to have children anytime soon, if ever. and i will definitely not be getting pregnant. i could see myself adopting/fostering when im older but maybe not. im good with having a bunch of animals instead

What identity advice would you give your younger self? the words you use to describe yourself dont have to actually matter that much

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? i mean i cant really say they’re bad if it works for some people? but i think they mostly pretty shitty tbh

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? i,, have nothing left to say

Why are proud to be lgbt+? fuckin,, it can be hard you know. people have dealt with so much shit to get here and even now, theres horrible shit that happens. idk

[originaljediinjeans]

Avengers: Endgame (Spoilers) Reaction

Things I didn’t like:

Seriously Thor had to end up LIKE THAT? SERIOUSLY THEY REALLY RUINED HIM

Tony being “stuck in space” just wasn’t a huge deal after all, thanks a lot

Just...five years of trying to “accept” what Thanos did? They literally can’t do anything? That is just so wrong. 

Also REALLY BRUCE? Sheesh so tacky

Tony comes right back from space, settles down w/ Pepper and refuses to talk to anybody

First thing when he comes back he’s all like “Steve UR a liar and I hate you” Like he doesn’t want to go after Thanos bc deep down he’s like “Bringing back half the universe means bringing back your precious Bucky but I don’t think so” (he’s actually just bitter about losing to Thanos but you know me, I’m autistic, it’s all about Bucky) gosh

Wait, so the cosmos depends on the Infinity Stones existing? So Steve just puts them back where they came from, nothing is changed, what happens now that Thanos is no longer around, where do they end up? 

Or did they get destroyed?

So Thanos isn’t really dead? Neither are his minions? Someone can bring them back? They’re really just in the soul realm?

Everything about that one death scene. Like they used the exact same footage and imagery from Gamora’s death in Infinity War. 

About 30% or more of the movie is montages, I needed more actual scenes with dialogue and characters connecting! 

Also Thor taking off with the Guardians 2b a space bum forever. That is like...the worst. Who wrote that?

Things I am on the Fence about:

“Resentment corrodes. BTW you can have your shield back. Dad made it for you.” okay, guys, that’s great but this is a three-hour-movie, surely you have time to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart apology session 

Captain Marvel as 80% CGI and 100% goddess

Really? It was that easy to get the Aether out of Jane without the Svarthaelfen coming for it? Also Rocket what did you do to her? 

Steve Rogers ending: I guess it’s what the fandom wanted. Judging by Hayley Atwell’s smug face she may have written the scene herself. But I was kind of getting used to the idea of Sharon (even them just being friends), and Steve actually moving on...

Also I get that it’s more politically correct to let Sam be Cap, and that “poor Bucky has suffered enough”

TBQH I get why he’s okay just saying goodbye to Bucky and leaving him in the present. They grew up together in Brooklyn, so they had those happy years together, and now Steve has freed him from Hydra and Bucky can go live his own life so it’s all good. Steve only knew Peggy for 1-2 years so he needs the time with her, if he wants it

Heil Hydra: I know that this is totally a reference to that one thing in the comics. But dude, did you want them to think you were Hydra? Or you were just telling them you were onto them? Well, either way it worked. 

Things I Did Like

The Ancient One meeting Bruce Banner and serving him the tea, also his astral form is still Bruce Banner and this pleases me a lot

Tony and his dad afjlfakjfdsajhladfhk j

Clint and Natasha being space pilots can I get more of this please?

Tony being a selfish jerk and hiding from the Avengers and ignoring that the rest of the world is suffering...but at the same time being a dad and a husband and living his best life and taking time for himself and not suffering

And then Tony getting off his high horse

Natasha refusing to not be vigilant or give up even though everyone else has

Scott Lang talking to Tony Stark like, what up, dude! We need to take a chance!

PEPPERONY OFFSPRING IS A THING! BLESS!

STEVE DID THE THING!!!!!!!!!

Ebony Maw is back and he is uglier than ever

*cackle of laughter* Justice. Sweet justice. 

Thor having the talk with his mom 

Thanos over the course of the film slowly becoming a better villain, and finally attacking with all of his powers and deciding that benevolently destroying half the universe isn’t enough

Thanos real desire: to satisfy his own ego

Thanos is not in Endgame as much but by the end of it he is a 50% better villain than he was in Infinity War

AND THEN EVERYONE COMES BACK AND ALL THE PEOPLE COME THROUGH THE PORTALS AND IT IS AN EPIC BATTLE, A TRULY GLORIOUS FIGHT

Like everyone who got snapped and then some come out of those portals armed and ready 2 fight like they’ve been itching for this for 5 years

okay so their “souls” still existed in the Soul realm, good, I was afraid they were all disembodied particles floating in random

Captain Marvel showing up to the boss fight and smacking Thanos but him being able to smack her back, finally she’s not invincible!

Also her shorter hair --ooooh hair envy!

Rocket talking to Thor on Asgard and telling him to get a grip, that was good

“I am inevitable.” “I am Iron Man.”

4-year-old Nathanial “Nate” Pietro Barton, Cooper and Lila, Laura--Clint’s family--yeah if Clint had died it would have been devastating

Clint and Wanda’s moment after the funeral, demonstrating how she and Nat were also part of Clint’s family

Scarlet Witch versus Thanos, YEAH THAT’S RIGHT YOU SON OF A MOLDY CASSEROLE, YOU GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO VISION

FEMALE AVENGER BOSS FIGHT

VALKYRIE LEADING THE ASGARDIANS

���Avengers...Assemble.”  

I WAS LITERALLY CHEERING AND SCREAMING DURING THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT WAS SO COOL

Just seeing Bucky again my heart afdskjfad;l

Just the epilogue and the funeral and seeing everyone together again as they should be, more or less

Steve and Tony going back to the 1970s--the whole segment is just great. Loved it. Steve’s undercover uniform is nice

I didn’t realize he could possibly run into Peggy until just before he realized he was in her office!

“Bucky is still alive.” Well, that’s one way to scare a body

Sam, Wanda, and Bucky at the funeral

New Asgard is a thing. This pleases me. 

Re-enacting Peter Quill entering the temple on Morag and then him getting hit over the head *points finger and laugh* like that was literally the only good thing about the time travel and revisiting the past

The GOTG staying for the funeral, that was nice of them. 

I have literally never been happier to see Spider-man in my life

Sebastian Stan’s face, that’s all

Steve and Bucky hugging goodbye, “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” OKAY NOW I’M HAVING FEELS

Also it’s really nice of Hank Pym to go to Tony’s funeral--did he go to Howard and Maria’s?

Things that Should Have Happened: 

Where the heck is Loki? 

Steve and Bucky should have had a scene together during the battle, fighting side-by-side

Bucky should have been the first person that Steve saw

Bucky carrying the gauntlet during the big hustle would’ve been a nice bonus

Loki stealing the Tesserract and disappearing--all that does is set up his Disney+ TV show. Shouldn’t that have led to more problems?

Like they seriously set up everything that could possibly go wrong but only one or two things do--well the movie was only 3 hours long, if they’d had five they could have made it more complicated

They could have made Thor a weepy alcoholic without making him a gross bum. 

More of the main characters dying besides the two that did. 

Tony and Nebula needed 10 whole minutes of relationship time. 

Just more of the 06 Avengers and Rhodey spending more time with Nebula and Rocket and their personalities bouncing off of each other

We should have at least been shown Tony and Pepper having a private civil ceremony, also her telling him that she’s pregnant

If Natasha needed to die at all, it should have been her going down in a fight, getting stabbed or something. Like someone could have showed up at Vormir, like Thanos sent someone once he got the intel from Nebula, and Nat and Barton had a boss fight at the top, and then Nat gets stabbed and thrown off

I was still actually expecting Tony to literally adopt Nebula

They could have done something about the fact that the Red Skull is the freaking Guardian of the Soul Stone(TM). Wouldn’t Nat or Clint have recognized him? Like the fact of his identity isn’t even relevant to anything--gosh, him meeting Steve must have been interesting

So Nebula didn’t kill Thanos. Hmph. Was there a way it could have happened, though? Is there a way she still “beat” him? Maybe by killing the past self that was still loyal to him? 

You had three hours to tell a great story and make the things we didn’t like about Infinity War better, and all you give us is beer-belly Thor and a lot of time travel gimmicks? sheesh marvel

[ivybucky]

kids (b.b.)

Request: Hiii:) now that you are taking request could you do a bucky x reader where after bucky wakes up instead of iw(i can’t stand more pain) bucky, steve, wanda, nat, sam and vision go to live with clint and his family and there bucky meets reader who is laura’s sister. both like each other but they are very shy to do something and they start to get along bc they spend a lot of time with the kids and thanks to them they end up together (i just want fluff) Thanksss love 

CURRENT MASTERLIST

author: abby

words: 2310 

pairing: bucky x reader

“Auntie Nat!” Lila ran through the living room to the front door. Swinging the door open, the girl darted out into the arms of the spy as she made her way to the steps of the house, giggling and she was spun around the air.

“How’s my favorite niece?” The redhead smirked, setting her down on the ground. The girl giggled again. “Auntie Nat, I’m you’re your only niece.” Natasha grabbed at Lila’s sides, throwing her into a fit of laughter as the most of the team stood behind her. Lila took in all the adults.

 Her eyes caught on a long-haired man she’d never seen before. Steve noticed. “Hi, Lila!” Steve smiled. 

“Hi, Uncle Steve!” She giggled smiling at everyone, before tugging Nat down. 

“Who’s that over there?” Lila whispered, obviously pointing at Bucky. Nat turned to smirk at the former assassin, before whispering in the little girl’s ear. 

“That’s your Uncle Bucky.” Lila giggled at the name. “His arms made of metal, but he’s really nice. And he really likes it when you stick magnets to it.” The girl’s eyes went wide before nodded and moving slowly to Bucky to hug his legs. He froze in his spot. 

“Nice to meet you, Uncle Bucky.” Bucky almost didn’t know what to do. No one so innocent had ever accepted him so quickly. He moved to rest a hand on her back. 

“Nice to meet you, too, sweetie,” he smiled. Was the whole family this way? 

Bucky hadn’t interacted with Barton that much, only once during the fight over the accords. He seemed like a good person at that time though. 

“Lila Barton! Don’t just go running out of the house-oh!” You appear in the doorway, hands on your hips, a hand towel thrown over your shoulder, and your hair pulled back from your face with a bandana. 

“Nat! Wanda! Guys! I didn’t know you guys were comin’!” You ran to your friends, embracing them tightly. 

“We don’t want to intrude,” Vision started, standing close behind Wanda. You raised your eyebrows at the telepath. “It’s alright Vis. I was about to cook up something for kids once Laura got back from the store so I’ll whip y’all up something too!” 

You picked up Lila and held her on your hip. Your eyes scanned the group in front of you, cataloging everyone there. When your eyes met a pair of foreign, steel blue eyes, you lost your breath for a second. 

Bucky knew he was staring at you, but in his defense, it was hard not too. The loose strands of hair fell in a natural halo framing your stunning face. Your eyes were a stunning color that could make any man weak at the knees. You alluring nature called out to Bucky like a siren and he found it insanely difficult to stay away. 

And as if Bucky wasn’t already blown away by your appearance, you smiled at him brightly sticking out your hand for him to shake. 

“I’m Y/N, Laura’s sister. You must be James?” His name falling from your lips made his heart literally skip a beat. 

“You can c-call me Bucky, doll,” his stumbled, as he placed his rough hand into yours. You blushed slightly. 

“Bucky,” you smiled meekly. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“All good things I hope,” his heart rate sped up and his fear of instant rejection took over, along with the nagging voice of doubt. Of course, nothing was good, look at you, she’s probably terrified. 

You smiled brighter because that was somehow possible. 

“The very best of things.”

—-

It had been a week since the team(more or less) had shown up to the Barton residence. 

At first, it was chaos. All but Tony and Rhodie had shown up at the doorstep. Of course, Clint and Laura welcomed the team to the farm with open arms, having suggested they cool down there every once in a while. But with the house made for the family of five, not ten, the unassembled Avengers took shelter in the barn.

 After a few days of recon, everyone fell into a routine. Steve, Sam, and Vision helped Clint manage the heavy lifting that came with the property and newly acquired animals; moving hay, fixing tractors, chopping firewood. Nat and Wanda helped Laura in the garden all day, working on small things the boys missed. 

Being Laura’s sister, you had the incredible job of handling the kids most of the day. Cooper could mostly take care of himself but still had to be kept in check most of the day instead of causing trouble. Lila often needed a girl to help her exist in the now male-dominant household. Nathaniel just turned 3 and was still going through his late terrible twos. 

Bucky Barnes, being different from the other guys, always attracted the females. Ever since the 1940’s as a kid from Brooklyn, girls had a hard time ignoring his presence. In the time he’d woken up in Wakanda, most people still shied away from the former assassin. But when he reached the Barton household, that changed in an instant. 

Lila absolutely adored Bucky. She and Cooper loved to mess with him, following Nat’s suggestion of magnets. She would somehow convince him to partake in her tea parties. Any other man would try to win over the boy to get away from the frills, but he just couldn’t get enough of the little girl too. 

You were too shy and too proud to ask for help with the kids, but since Bucky showed up you didn’t need to. Bucky loved playing with the kids as much as you did and helped take some of the baggage off. 

He loved watching you work with the kids. Nathaniel was almost constantly on your hip, keeping him under control throughout the day. You would help Cooper out with his homework anytime he’d ask and always complimented Lila on her artistic abilities and how she looked that day. He loved the dedication you put into these kids when you didn’t have too. He would admit to Steve later that the crush he had on you was a strong one. The two of you had good chemistry when working with the kids and it was noticeable. He just wished it could somehow turn into something more. 

The two of you were in the kitchen preparing lunch, laughing at a joke Cooper had made when Lila spoke up. 

“Auntie Y/N?” She started, looking at her brother with a wide grin.

 “Yeah, sweetie?” You called as you worked on a sandwich. 

“Since mommy and daddy are going out tonight, can we have a movie night with Uncle Bucky?” She batted her eyelashes at you as you turned around. “Pleaseeeeee?” 

“I didn’t know they were going out,” you crossed your arms over your chest, looking in Bucky’s direction. He turned around to look at the kids as well, with an eyebrow raised. Lila looked at her brother for help. 

“They probably just forgot to mention it,” Cooper pandered. “You know how busy they are. Can we please?”

You smiled shyly, looking back up at Bucky who was smiling at the boy. “I-I mean as long as it’s okay with Bucky,” you managed to stutter out. 

His eyes met yours as he smiled widely, trying to contain his excitement at the idea of spending the night with you. 

“I’d love too,” he coughed, trying not to sound eager. “I-I mean I’ve been meaning to catch up on the film industry anyways.” He smiled at you again. 

—

“Dad, Mom, can you please go out tonight?” Cooper begged, hands clasped together to seal the effect. 

“Why do you want us to leave so much, kid?” Clint laughed, tugging on a flannel. Laura stood behind him smoothing out any wrinkles. 

“Because Auntie Y/N and Uncle Bucky need to get together!” Lila cheered, bouncing in her shoes. 

“What?” Laura laughed, squatting down to get to eye level with the girl. “What are you guys planning, huh?” 

“Mom,” Cooper rolled his eyes and moved next to his sister. “You’d have to be blind to not see that they are perfect for each other. If you guys go out tonight, the four of us can have a movie night and we can get them together.”

Laura looked over at her husband with a perturbed look on her face. Clint stares at his kid with a knowing smirk, laughing. 

“Let’s go out, honey,” she started to argue with him but was stopped. “Look you and I both know that Y/N needs someone other than these goofballs and us in her life. And I know Bucky likes her. Let’s see how smart these kids are, huh?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “I guess we’re going out tonight.”

——

“Do you guys want regular popcorn?” You called from the kitchen. “Or do you want my special stuff?”

“The special kind!” The kids practically cheered. You turned back to the stove working on the popcorn. 

“What’s the special kind?” A deep voice from behind you asked, causing you to jump. You turned to see Bucky. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He moved to your side, watching you work. He noticed the small smile on your face. “Instead of salt, I melt the butter and mixed it with cinnamon and sugar and put that on the popcorn and sprinkle it with more cinnamon sugar after that. The kids love it.”

He smiled, opening his mouth to talk but was interrupted by Cooper calling from the living room saying the movie was starting. When the two of you got to the couch, both of the kids were standing up.

“How are we sitting, kids?” you asked, holding your breath slightly at the idea of sitting next to Bucky. He also seemed nervous and tripped on the couch with a laugh. 

“I guess I’m sitting here,” he laughed. “Lila, doll, come sit next to me?” he asked, pleading. She hid behind your legs with her stuffed wolf clutched to her chest.

“No, Uncle Bucky, you’re gonna tickle me!” she giggled. Bucky gasped, dramatically clutching his heart, causing all three of you to giggle. 

“I would never do such a thing!” He exaggerated with a sad look, reaching out a hand. “Please.”

Lila giggled again before throwing herself into his side. Cooper sat next to her, and you on the opposite side as Bucky. You watched as he smiled down at Lila when she introduced him to her wolf. He looked back up at you over their heads and smiled widely. That’s when you started the movie. 

The muses on screen danced to the opening number when you felt Cooper lean against you. You rolled your eyes. Of course, the kids would have a hard time staying up so late. By the time Hercules and Phil started their training. The kids were out cold. 

“Bucky,” you whispered, getting his attention before obviously drawing attention to the two children passed out against you. He huffed out a laugh before looking back up at you. “Help me get them to bed? We can pause the movie.”

The two of you stood up, carefully removing yourself from the arms of the siblings, and traded places. You fumbled to get past each other, slightly brushing each other as you moved, leaving a blush to both of your cheeks. 

You picked up Lila as Bucky took Cooper and walked upstairs to their rooms. The both of you stopped in the hallway, as you told Bucky where his room was. The both of you missed Lila and Cooper crack their eyes open, wink, and silently high-five each other before separating into the detached rooms. 

After gently putting Cooper into his bed, Bucky walked to Lila’s room and stood in the doorway. He watched as you gently tucked her in, making sure her wolf was in her arms before kiss her on the forehead and turning on her closet light and walking out. 

You and Bucky sat on the couch, shoulders touching as you started the movie back up. You started to watch again, hands nervously fumbling in your lap as you held your breath. Being so close to him was freaking you out. Bucky looked down at you next to him and tried to relax into the couch, putting his arm on the back of it. 

“Ya know,” he started, nervous to talk to you without the kids around to interrupt. “I think you’re amazing with those kids. They really look up to you.” You blushed at his compliment.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you smiled, looking up at him. “But I can’t take all the credit. Since you guys have shown up, y’all have been such great help around here. And Lila just adores you. You help make it so much easier.” You looked down at your hands in your lap. “I don’t I realized how much I needed you,” you sighed before your eyes went wide at what you said. 

Bucky just smiled down at you. “Thank you, doll. That really means a lot to me. I’m glad I can finally help in some way.” At that statement, you reached for his hand and tugged on it. 

“Bucky,” you admonished, looking into his eyes. “You are a good person.” 

He was blown away, yet again, by how accepting this family was to him. With everything that’s happened to him, he wasn’t expecting to be treated so kindly. Especially from someone as sweet as you. He moved to cup your cheek. 

“Y/N,” he started searching your eyes. “I really wanna kiss you.”

You gasped, then giggled, “Go the distance soldier.” And as the movie ended, and the anthem played in the background, he moved his lips to yours. 

When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

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