#but yeah the whole point of this has been to make a ''cherri and val both have sex trauma'' fic. i just never finished it

[mychemicalaromanticism]

He gets a chance to guess when he meets a man with fiery hair and a white leather jacket.

Val Velocity is constantly tense, with crossed arms and an ever-present furrow to his brow. He is distrustful and bitter, but his crew doesn't seem too bothered about it. They talk and play around him with comfort that only comes from a strong bond. Cherri notices the empty space they still subconsciously leave in their circles, and a purple mohawk flickers in and out of his vision.

He doesn't make the connection immediately. He gets flashes that don't mean anything to him; a slightly younger Val with solid blonde hair, no jacket, and an empty expression on his face; a young child holding what could only be a Scarecrow's hand. Val was a guarded person, inside and out. Cherri was visiting the Diner when he first had the thought.

Kobra was laying in the pile of pillows and blankets that lived on the cafeteria floor, inspecting his arms with a bored expression. "Oh, yeah, Val totally- Val totally, uh, totally freaked it on Ghoul last week."

Cherri raised an eyebrow, leaning a little more on his hand from his seat at a booth. "Did he, now?"

"Yeah, he like- like, shoved him. Knocked him over. Knocked him over." His face didn't change.

"Did they deserve it?" Fun Ghoul was known to be annoying, known to enjoy being annoying. It was still surprising to hear that Val had succeeded in knocking them over, if that was true. He must have pushed them pretty hard.

"Yyyyyeah. I guess." Kobra rolls onto his side, facing Cherri. He stretches his arms over his head lazily, making his face squish against a pillow. "Ghoul was all up- all in his space, in his space with- with his arms around him 'n shit. Guess it freaked him out," comes his mumbled reply. He smirks. “Party punched- punched him in the face, though.”

Cherri smothers his first thought, his brain's desperate attempt to find and connect with people like him. No one likes being grabbed. Val's especially hot-headed. He wills himself to stop thinking about the way Val distances himself, the way he clings to his jacket like it's his only defense against the world, the way he apparently reacts violently to touch, to being restrained.

"You good?" Kobra asks. Cherri snaps back to attention, focusing on Kobra's repeated question. He gives a weak "Yeah" and a thumbs up. An echo appears standing just behind Kobra, a kid with short brown hair and glasses wearing a plain red long sleeve shirt and jeans. The most generic, ordinary child Cherri could probably imagine, but his face is tensed in suppressed anxiety. He feels a pang of regret for whatever memory he's triggered for Kobra and tries to look more relaxed. The echo disappears, and Kobra starts talking about his and Ghoul's latest adventures in rewiring C.A.T.

None of the Four seemed too concerned with the altercation. It happened, it ended, and people moved on. Even Party, who was the most upset with Val, had dropped the subject. And then the next time he sees them, Ghoul tells him about Val’s apology and that Vinyl likes to cook. Cherri can’t see anything on Val. His crewmates flicker with memories and apparitions around him and his form is unwavering, stubbornly locked down.

Cherri’s sitting in the Diner again. The Girl is on the floor next to the booth he’s in, playing a card game with Jet and Vamos. Party and Kobra are talking over each other with Vaya while Ghoul sits off to the side interjecting every so often.

Val is sitting where he always does, on the barstool against the wall and closest to the door. He’s accompanied by Vinyl this time, talking to him quietly.

The Girl leans back, pressing her head into Cherri’s thigh. “Hey. It’s not cheating to hide how many cards I have, is it?”

“It totally fucking is!” Jet exclaims.

“But we’re supposed to hide them in the first place!”

“We still need to know how many you have!”

Cherri puts a hand on The Girl’s head and ruffles her hair absent-mindedly. “What are you even playing?”

“Uno,” The Girl says, leaning into Cherri’s touch.

Jet throws his arms up, exasperated. “The game where card count matters, it’s called Uno, for fuck’s sake!” Vamos snickers as he stops to catch his breath.

A foreboding feeling fizzles along Cherri’s skin, and he looks up. Val is glaring daggers at him. He startles and leans behind Vinyl when Cherri catches him.

“I think you’re cheating, Girlie,” Cherri concedes, taking his hand off of The Girl’s head and trying to shake off the sick feeling that’s come over him. The three players seem satisfied with his answer, The Girl muttering under her breath but still pulling her cards from under her thigh, and the game continues. Anyone paying attention to the discussion goes back to their activities, and Cherri stares forward at the space behind Val.

There’s an echo, a Val slightly shorter but so much younger than the one sitting at the bar. His hair is solid blonde and the same length, but shaggy in an unintentional way that makes him look more disheveled than wild-hearted. He’s missing his leather jacket, a plain blue t-shirt in its place, and jeans that probably came with him from the City.

His eyes are red-rimmed with fresh exhaustion and he has small, rounded, dark red and purple marks along his neck.

The impressions, the echoes, whatever Cherri wants to call the visions he receives when looking at people, he learns to decipher and interpret them. He can tell if someone carries the grief of a long-dead family member, he can tell when someone has experienced a significant feeling of being out of control. He can tell when someone is haunted by their past, and he can make a good guess as to what's haunting them. It comes to him in gut feelings, in the shifts in the air when people get lost in thought. It comes to him in images- ghostly glimpses into the past that cling and drag behind a person.

He tries not to stare when they appear. They aren't ghosts, not in the traditional sense, but accidentally making eye contact with them when they aren't even aware of their existence is unsettling to say the least. Most of the time they just stand there, stuck on loop in whatever moment they manifested from. He's seen too many battered children to ever sleep well again.

They're not all bad, of course. He'll see a child holding a toy that must have been important to them. Or someone with a fresh haircut and dye, dressed extravagantly with a gleam in their eyes. He's even seen a second figure accompanying some echoes- a family member, a friend, a teacher, he presumes. Someone important enough to appear alongside their memory.

He wonders, sometimes, what his own echoes look like.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

EPISODE 6

N-no Alastor again......

......

.....OK, so....this episode needs multiple viewings for me to.....fully absorb everything that just happened......but......uh......I-I don't wanna just not say anything about it, so....here goes.....

-OK, fandom, you got me. You called it. Vaggie was an angel. Wasn't exactly the most surprising twist imaginable when everyone and their mother called it, but it was cool to actually see it. Th-the fact that she got her name because a misogynist named her was probably the biggest twist for me here, cuz HOLY CRAP, it makes so much sense. XD I remember when people used to haaaaaate Vaggie's name.....I-I honestly used to raise my eyebrows at it before I got used to it. That's neat.....

....But if there was one thing I DIDN'T call, it's Charlie not knowing. I legit thought she already knew. They were so close, and they've been a couple for years before the show, so I thought that already happened. B-but I....I LIKE this direction? I-I love Chaggie already, don't get me wrong, they're like the M&M of this show for me.....b-but their relationship has always kinda been....swallowed by the....EVERYTHING ELSE in the show around them. I-I'd love to see them get center stage! Will that happen, or will it just get brushed over? Dunno....but....either way, this cliffhanger KILLS ME just cuz I wanna know what happens next for them!

-NO ONE IN HEAVEN BUT SERA AND THE EXORCISTS KNOW ABOUT THE EXTERMINATIONS. PLEASE leave all your "Heaven is evil, what's the point of the hotel" complaints at the FLIPPING DOOR! We got a breakthrough! Yup, I never bought it for a second. The Exorcists are only ONE type of angel! There was no way they represented ALL of Heaven! The whole point of the story was that it's not a black-and-white conflict! If the whole story was just "Hell good, Heaven evil", what would be the point of that? You think the writers are THAT dumb?

Sera....seems to be the one in charge of making the decisions, but she's not evil, she's just doing what she thinks is right for Heaven. I'm pretty sure her mind can be changed. And Emily is so so so much like Charlie that them singing together was satisfying as heck! Adam and Lute are the clear bad guys here....

I love the confusion of "How isn't Angel rising to Heaven?" and how it kinda parallels to how Adam, who was once human, is still IN Heaven. Just cuz they're dead, doesn't mean they can't change. Vaggie had her wings torn off and fell. That could be Adam by the end of the show. But, what about someone in Hell rising to Heaven? Not even the angels have the answer. Because they're not evil. I LOVE that.

-Speaking of Emily and Charlie being alike, yeah, that second song was INCREDIBLE! Do I like it more than "Hell Is Forever" (which I've been listening too soooooo much over the week)? That's a high bar, so I dunno....but I love how this song is a follow-up to it, and it's very climactic.

-AUSTRALIAN CHERRI HECK YEEEEEAAAAA!!! Angel standing up to Val in....in only their....second episode together? Uhhhhh, aren't we moving too fast- I mean HECK YEEEEAAAA!! Drunk Niffty HECK YEEEAAAAA!!! More Huskerdust on the side HECK YEEEEAAA!!!

.....The running gag with Sir Pentious killed me. XD His obvious crush is so cute. Definitely a highlight for me. Better luck next time, dude.

-But yeah....my favorite thing about the episode (besides learning that Heaven isn't evil) is the Vaggie thing. I'm REALLY on the edge of my seat to see how this goes! Oooooo.....I-I'm so nervous! Obviously Charlie's not gonna be MAD, but....OK, maybe she'll be mad? But she won't STAY mad....I-I can't believe I'm looking forward to drama between those two....They've been so wholesome.....but I dunno, I wanna see a story about them, I guess....

[sirdust]

I thought of one last thing to add to my frustrations with 6, and the egregious handling of the SA ""joke"" with Pentious. It's already bad in itself, yeah? But it's the fact Angel, Husk and Cherri witness it and do nothing nor comment that makes it even more infuriating. So much for Angel being the pinnacle of redemption if the guy he's supposedly friends with now is about to get hurt in a way he's familiar with and he doesn't even spare him a moments thought. He'll try to protect Charlie from Valentino but god forbid Pentious has anyone show that they care about or like him now. Husk and Cherri are infuriating to me because they are such good pals with Angel I guess, know the hurt Val has caused him and Pentious gets hurt it's crickets. IDK it's maddening because the whole setup and crux of Pentious character within the series so far is that he's so lonely, but what has even been the point of 'redeeming' himself or gaining these "friends" if we never really get any proof they care about him back? Pentious in 5 expresses sorrow for Charlie, saves Nifty and is concerned with her in 6 and uses terms of endearment. When does anyone really talk to Pen about his feelings or ANYTHING outside of the end of episode 3? It's so rushed and he deserves better writing, and much better friends at this point. TBH I have more I could rant about, sorry I'm doing it in your inbox but you are about the only person I've found in this fandom with similar thoughts and feelings to mine.

honestly don't have much to add to this, i agree with pretty much everything you said. was actually discussing the bit about angel and cherri ignoring pentious with friends earlier bc it truly adds insult to injury.

[spiderways-a-vampire]

also i desperately want to see you back this point up. i dont think your wrong but i wanna here youre reasoning

3) I think out all the ultra vs he was the one who cared about the girl the most( I can back this up)

Alright let's do this

The way val treats the girl is different than any other Killjoys, in the beginning he's very playful with her and not straight just an asshole

This is one of the only times he smiles at someone before the whole story takes place, and he's not a complete asshole he dose make some comments but other than that it's not anything out right terrible

Even after the whole thing with volume dying, he doesn't take it out on her even tho he's going through a really hard time, he let her hang around and crash with them even though she was part of the cause of his death, didn't leave her behind or did anything to make her feel like he held anything against her, also he dosent control her or stop her from doing anything, he lets her go back and forth between them and cherri dosent make her feel bad about it

He dosent mind her hanging out with them and he kinda has that similar trait as cherry where he tries to like guide her but in his own way (cherry dose it much better but anyway)

Even after he goes on his paranoid filed rage he still tries to make her feel like she can be apart of something with them, he dosent push her away he still offers her a place with them

He actually apologized, the twins and Vinyl we're just as involved and followed along with his plan but after they didn't say anything to her val was like the only one who apologized, if he didn't care about her he wouldn't have bothered but he did and it might not have been the biggest apology but he at least made the effort to

Just a few points but yeah I genuinely think he cares about her more than the others do and wants to be there for her as a friend in some way

[chaoticace2005]

You asked and I delivered, here's some stupid shit I made.

Life Lesson: Personality Quizzes Can End the World (put on ao3 as well)

Angel didn’t mean to start shit. He didn't mean to end the world.

Usually that statement would be a lie. Angel loves to start shit. It’s one of his favorite activities. He and Cherri have been the catalyst of far too many bar fights to count. Even when he was alive, if the family needed someone to infiltrate and piss people off he was their go to guy. Afterall, he had a lot of practice pissing off Nic Arackniss when they were younger. As the little sibling it’s kind of his job.

Yet, the point remains that for as much of a shit-stirrer and self-destructive person Angel is, even he knows better to piss off the radio demon.

Needle? Sure. Jokingly flirt with? Sure, why not? Piss off? No thank you. Angel actually likes having his many arms and eyes intact (even if Al has told him several times before that he should really considering donating them to hungry souls (i.e. the cannibalistic sinner himself.))

Would eating Angel be cannibalism? They’re both sinners. And they were both humans. But it’s not like they’re the same type of sinner.

Then again, there’s a whole town for cannibals. He doubts it’s super selective.

Plus he’s pretty sure he’s seen Al eat deer. And if he eats deer and he eats sinners, does it all add up so he’s eating deer-type sinners? Is that what makes it cannibalism?

Not the point. The point here is Angel did nothing wrong. He is, for once, just like his name suggests and completely innocent (although real angels seem to be anything but.)

All he did was show Husk something on his phone. Although it’s possible Al had a point with all his rants and modern technology is nothing but a bane to society.

–--------------------------------------

“Zestial is the super old guy right?”

Husk glances up at Angel from the other side of the bar.

“Yeah? He’s been around since the 1500s I think, one of the oldest overlords still around.”

Yeah, that sounds about right. Back to the topic at hand though.

“Ha! Bet you’d get him then.”

The cat-demon just looks at him with a face of combined confusion and annoyance, one of his favorite faces to give Angel.

“Get him?”

“My main bitch Cherri sent me a personality quiz ‘bout which overlord we’d be. She got Velvette which, Cher isn’t nearly as psycho as her but makes a bit of sense, and then I got that kaiju chick Zeezi, who I had to look up but doesn’t seem too bad compared to the others.”

Husk just stares at him blankly.

“Why’d you do that? You’re not overlord material kid.”

Ouch. Wow. Thanks. Don’t worry: he knows.

“I know that. But Cher sends me stupid quizzes all the time. Plus I wanted to make sure I-”

Make sure he didn’t get one certain moth-type demon who’s made it a mission to make Angel’s life in hell even more of a living hell.

Husk seems to get what he was trying to say, because he just stares back at him with those deep, no-bullshit eyes he has. That Angel used to hate but now finds refreshing.

“You wouldn’t be an overlord cause you’re not like that, kid. You’re far from that. Trust me: I’d know.”

Oh yeah… Husk kind of would, wouldn’t he? Having been an ex-overlord and everything.

Which makes a bizarre amount of sense but is still so weird to think about. That the guy who offers some of the most peace and comfort Angel’s had in his afterlife used to be part of the group of demons he often needed comfort from.

He can’t really see how Husk could’ve been an overlord either. He’s nothing like Alastor. And certainly nothing like Val.

“Yeah… still, based on vibes alone do you think you’d get that old Zestial guy?”

“What’s this about Zestial?”

Holy shit!

The static-y voice came out of seemingly nowhere, as its speaker tends to do for what appears to be for no other reason than to scare the shit out of people.

As if Al doesn’t scare most people already.

“Uhhh…” stupid Anthony, speak up! “It’s a stupid quiz. It…tries to choose which overlord you’d be based on some personality questions.” Every word out of his mouth sounds stupider. “I was just saying Husk’d get that guy cause they’re both old.”

The strawberry pimp just blinks at Angel for a second, looking ironically like a deer in headlights. And part of Angel is worried that he just broke the dude.

“I’d think you’d be Zestial. Both being spider-demons and all.”

Wait…what?

“He’s a spider? I never really saw past the whole vampire-thing on images I pulled up.”

…although now that he thinks about it the old dude does kind of look like a stretched out, even more emo version of his brother. Is there a possible family relation?

“The quiz aint about that though, it’s about personality.”

“Ah yes, then I suppose that makes sense. Although I would argue that maybe Carmilla is better suited for Husker. I assume you got Zeezi? They seem like…your type.”

Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?

“Yeah…guess it’s been accurate so far.”

Although…

“Smiles. Do you think you’d get yourself?”

The facility manager tilts his head at that, “I don’t see why not. I don’t mean to sound overconfident but I don’t think there are many demons quite like myself.”

…yeah he’s got a point there.

“Okay,” the pink spider says, unlocking his phone again to pull up the quiz before going to hand it to the overlord.

…and he immediately stops because his phone screen starts flickering and starts to scream like it’s dying.

“Maybe just read the questions to me, I have no interest in holding…that.”

He sounds so overly disgusted, and Angel relents because he’s broke and doesn’t want to have to buy a new phone.

“‘What’s your idea of vacation?’”

“I’d say-”

“Wait Smiles, there are options: ‘blowing up a building, robbing a jewelry store, dismembering a bitch, drinking tea, bedazzling guns, committing a mass murder, or discussing technology with uncultured swines?’”

“Well… I must say that the tea and mass murder are quite appealing, however I need to go with the technology with uncultured swines one. People really have lost the idea of what makes good media nowadays.”

Angel clicks the answer and moves on, reading the questions outloud to Alastor who would often debate his options aloud before selecting. There are some that go rather quickly (“What is your favorite color?” “Red. Although I don’t see why that’s relevant.”) And then some that take longer (“What is your favorite thing to eat?” “I’m between the intestine and liver options… although you can’t go wrong with a good thigh or the souls of the innocent.”)

Eventually (twenty questions later), they reach the end of the test.

“‘How did you like this quiz: Meh, okay, can I fuck some bitches now? This is stupid and I’ll shoot you. Excited to see the results! Fuck off. Quiz doth interesting now where art thou tea? Or shut up and give me my results.’”

“Hmmm…. You know, I am in the mood for some tea right now.”

And then he snaps his fingers to summon some tea from… somewhere.

Angel just presses the option though.

And Al got…

Oh.

OH.

OH NO.

The radio demon is just calmly sipping his tea right now, so he isn’t paying attention to Angel’s face. But Husk is.  

Angel sends a face that just says “help”, and the useless bastard sends a face back that says “you did this to yourself, if you die more booze for me.”

Angel is about to send a face back that says “you dick if I die you get custody of nuggs and you better fucking take care of him and feed him,” when Alastor picks up on the silence and looks up from the tea.

“So? Unremarkable results then? Can’t say I’m surprised. We all knew what to expect.”

…yeah…

“Why’s it unremarkable? I thought you hated the flat TV man? Isn’t he dickless?”

NIFFTY?!

Sometime during all of this Niffty had spawned on the stool next to him, and is now looking over Angel’s shoulder at his phone.

He chances a glance back at Alastor, hoping they can all laugh it off because it’s a stupid quiz and Al hates Vox but surely…

He was wrong before. This is a deer in headlights.

With a single move of his finger Angel’s phone is in the radio demon’s hand, and after a minute it quickly bursts into green flames.

…yeah, he’s not getting that back.

“Well… that was interesting!” 

Then the guy picks up his cane and heads upstairs, likely to his room, with the tea in hand.

Meanwhile Angel is still sitting at the bar mourning his phone and hoping Vaggie and Charlie really uphold that “no killing other residents in the hotel” rule.

“Great job Nif, now we’re gonna get another week of nothing on the TV or radio except Vox and Alastor bitching about each other.”

The short demonic cyclops just giggles. Angel really needs to remember what a gremlin Niffty is. He shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

Then there is a scream, a large crash and then the building shakes.

“What the fuck-” Husk starts, voicing Angel’s thoughts.

Charlie comes downstairs then, “Uh…Does anyone know why Alastor was walking around extra-murdery, threw hot tea at Pentious’ face, and then took his aircraft?”

Oh fuck.

“I had him take one of those ‘Which Overlord Are You’ quizzes.”

Charlie looks scared to ask…”And?”

Fuck. “He got Vox.”

The face Charlie makes matches what the rest of them are thinking: they’re all fucked. 

Charlie: Why is Alastor extra murdery today?

Angel: I had him take one of those “Which Overlord Are You?” quizzes

Charlie: …And?

Angel: He got Vox.

[anagentinwriting]

Lifeline - Part 2

Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader

Word Count: ~2900

Warnings: Elevators, Angst

Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Steve POV

“The 911 operator I was talking to had this great idea to use the hose to pull the little girl across the water to get her out of the pool,” Steve reminisced, sitting at the big island in the kitchen watching Sam cook.

“Dude, I was there, remember,” Sam replied.  “And hasn’t it been like a week since that happened?”

“Yeah, but it was such a clever idea. I didn’t even know they could see the whole house on their monitors.”

“Who cares! It’s probably some fancy technology not available on the market yet, but if I'm hearing this correctly, it sounds like she popped Stevie’s dispatcher cherry,” Bucky joked behind him.

Steve peeked over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at Bucky. “My what cherry?”

“You know when you talk to a dispatcher on the phone while on scene. Danvers takes those calls most of the time, but every once in a blue moon, one of us takes it.” Bucky wiggled his eyebrows. “Who was the operator?”

“Um...YN.”

“Oh, my sister,” Thor announced in a deep voice, patting him on the shoulder and taking the stool next to him. “She is very intelligent.”

“Wait, you have a sister?” Steve asked, widening his eyes at him.

“I have two sisters, while one half-sister, but we don’t talk about her because she’s the worst,” Thor answered with pursed lips. “YN is the best though, I like to think she got the brains, I got the brawn, and well, I guess, that makes Loki the beaut of the family.” He nodded with a half shrug. 

“Are we still talking about how Rogers popped his dispatcher cherry,” Carol smirked, walking into the kitchen with Valkyrie. Steve felt his face heat up as he tried to say something, but she held her hand up. “It’s okay! Everyone remembers their first time,” She winked, forcing him to shake his head.

“Okay, okay. I get it.” Steve held up his hands in surrender, trying to hide the blush on his face.

_____________

You swiveled back and forth in your chair, waiting for the next call to come in. You had a half-hour left of your twelve-hour shift, and you needed a girls' night out. Living with your brother and Darryl was both a blessing and a curse. They offered you a place to stay, rent-free when you first moved here, but the amount of testosterone in that house was sometimes too much for you to handle. You tapped your fingers on your desk when your line started ringing. You sat up, letting out a deep breath, and pressed the spacebar.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Hello,” a male voice replied.

“How can I help you?”

“I’m making a turkey and was wondering what the internal temperature has to be?”

“You do know it’s against the law to call with a fake emergency, right?”

“Yes, but this is an emergency.”

“No, it’s not, so get off my line.” You hung up the line, shaking your head. Right away, another call came through, and you answered it. 

“911, what’s your emergency?” 

“Hi, hello. My friends are trapped in the elevator. The elevator must have snapped or something because there was this loud bang.”

“Where are you calling from?”

“The Natural History Museum. Please hurry!”

____________

Steve sat in his unassigned assigned spot at the dining table, eating a late lunch with the team. It was the cardinal rule at Station 107: Work as a team and eat as a family. Steve never thought he'd be able to find another firehouse he enjoyed working at, considering his previous teammates and friends at his old one. He hated leaving them behind, but he needed a fresh start, and so far, Station 107 was the best second home he could ask for. 

Everyone brought something to the team as every firehouse did.  Captain Danvers, or Ace as she preferred to be called in the field, brought her confidence and experience, which made for a great leader they could trust and rely on. Thor had his strength and his bravery, but he did have an ego. Sam was a great motivator and could keep everyone on task while still cracking jokes. It was no wonder Sam was the head EMT at this firehouse. Valkyrie was a badass and wasn’t afraid to put people in their place. As for Bucky, Steve knew he would always be there for him till the end of the line. 

The loud alarm blaring throughout the firehouse pulled Steve out of his stupor. Everyone knew what that sound meant, and they were ready to tackle whatever it might be. One after another, they slid down the firepole, pulled on their gear, and hopped in the truck, heading towards the scene. It wasn’t unusual to take calls that didn’t involve fire because whoever could get there the fastest was better than no one showing up at all. 

Thor hopped behind the driver's seat of the fire engine, pulling out of the garage. Carol sat beside him, giving him directions while speaking with the dispatcher through her headset. The sirens were wailing with Val and Sam behind them in the ambulance. 

“Alright, boys. We got an elevator crash at the Natural History Museum,” Carol said into her helmet mic after speaking with dispatch. “Dispatch says three students and their pregnant teacher are inside.”

“What’s the plan, Ace?” Steve asked into his helmet mic, concealing the siren blaring in the background. 

“I have contacted the museum's elevator technician, and he has already locked and tagged the power on the cars. The car sits near the basement level, so we will approach from the top in the lobby. I want Thor on the winch…”

“Ahh---what,” Thor interrupted her.

“Calm down, big guy, you can have the next one.” She gave him the side-eye, making the rest of the crew chuckle. “Steve and Bucky are going to do an immediate retrieval and approach from the top. Sam and Val will set a perimeter and then treat those who come up. Then, I will help with the retrieval, and Thor with the winch,” she stated with the last part dripping in sarcasm.

“It still hurts,” Thor added, taking a right at the intersection.

Once on-site, everyone grabbed their gear and took their positions.  Steve and Bucky strapped on their harnesses and helmets, switching on the flashlight. They started scaling down the elevator shaft from the lobby as Thor lowered them on the winch with the retrieving rope.

“How we looking, Steve?”

“Sexy, but not like we are trying too hard, but it’s more kind of effortless.” 

“Yeah, I mean, have you seen Steve’s ass in that harness. It could be American’s Ass or more like LA’s Finest Ass,” Sam commented with a whistle, echoing in the shaft. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Steve landed on the top of the elevator, unhooking himself while Bucky did the same.  “I’m down and unattached.”

“That’s what she said,” Carol responded with her head appearing in the shaft.

Thor chuckled, shaking his head. “Classic.”

Steve rolled his eyes and used his other flashlight to find the hatch on top of the elevator. He unclipped the lock, opening the hatch door, seeing the top of the lights. “I’m Fireman Rogers, please move towards the buttons. I’m going to kick the light out, so we can get you out of there.” It took a few kicks, but once it fell through, a few faces peeked up at him.  “How are we doing in there?”

“Oh my god, thank god, you’re here. I thought we were gonna die,” one of the kids replied, clutching his phone in his hand.

“Calm down, Flash. Everything is fine,” the pregnant woman reassured. “Right?” She looked up at Steve with worried filled eyes, and he nodded.

“Watch out, I'm coming down.” Steve crawled down into the hatch, and Bucky passed him the spare harness.  “Ma’am, you’re going up first, but first we need to get you strapped into this harness, then we’ll pull you up.” She nodded, trusting him, and allowing him to put the harness on her before Thor used the winch to pull her up.

“Okay, boys, who's going to go next?”

“I’m next,” the one they called Flash stated.

“Okay, then, how about you with the cool hat.”

“Thanks, it gives me confidence,” the kid smiled.

“And then, you,” Steve pointed to the kid wearing a Midtown School of Science and Technology shirt.

“Um...yeah--” he nodded a little too much. “--Yeah...I can go last. Get everyone else to safety first.”

“Perfect.” Steve clapped his hands together. “Let’s do this.”

___________

It turned out to be a quick rescue, and no one suffered any major injuries. Steve took some gear out to the truck and started repacking it when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around, noticing the kid in the Midtown School of Science and Technology shirt wrapped in an ambulance blanket. 

“What can I do for you, kid?”

“Peter. Peter Parker. I’m...I’m Peter Parker.” He held out his hand, and Steve shook it. “I just wanted to say thank you...thank you for saving my teacher and my friends back there. We’re on our school trip from New York, and this was an adrenaline rush experience.” Peter held up his hand, and Steve noticed it shaking.

He chuckled. “It will wear off.”

“It felt like that opening scene of that old action movie. Where John Wick saves those people that were trapped in the elevator after the bad guy tried to blow them up with a bomb. They don’t catch him obviously because it’s the opening scene, but later he puts the bomb on the bus, and that Bird Box lady has to keep driving like fifty-five miles an hour, or the bus will blow up.”

“I know the one. I think you’re thinking of Speed, but I don’t think it’s that old.” 

“Yeah, yeah, that one,” he chuckled, pointing his finger at him. “It’s kind of old, I mean you’re kind of old, so it’s kind of old to you, but to me, it’s kind of new because I’m not that old.” He rambled on, his eyes widening, realizing what he was saying. 

“Peter, come on. The museum is going to show us some never before seen stuff because we almost died,” the kid with the cool hat shouted from across the street. 

“Coming, Ned,” he yelled back. “Thanks again, Fireman Rogers, and sorry about calling you old. I didn’t...”

“It’s okay, kid, I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Steve watched Peter run back over to his friends with a smile on his face. It was these moments when he loved his job, watching friends and families reunite after a tragedy. It was these moments where he felt like it could almost fix what he lost. 

______________

You sighed, taking a seat at your usual spot at the end of the bar in Happy’s Hydrant. Happy noticed you right away and smiled, giving you a bottle of beer. You thanked him with a nod, taking a sip, and scanning the crowd. It wasn’t unusual to spot a familiar face, considering this bar was created for the heroes of Los Angeles. It welcomed all those members who served or are currently serving as first responders, but civilians were welcome, too. It’s nice to have a place to go with people you could relate to and share similar experiences with after working a twelve or twenty-four-hour shift. They understand what we go through on a day to day basis. It was one of the many reasons Happy Hogan wanted to open this bar after he retired from his Fire Chief position at Station 12.

You swiveled back and forth on your bar stool until someone familiar on the other end of the bar caught your eye. You stopped moving, your eyes not wavering from the man. Your mouth went dry, hearing your heartbeat thumping in your ears. You gulped, feeling your palms start to tingle as the muscles in your legs start to tighten. Every nerve in your body was firing, telling you to run, but it felt like if you moved an inch, he would see you, and these past three months would’ve been for nothing. He glanced your way for a brief moment, and relief flooded your whole body. You relaxed, squeezing your eyes shut as you took a few deep breaths in and out. It wasn’t him. 

The weight of someone touching your shoulder makes you jump off your bar stool, and turn around to see one of the ladies you were waiting for.  “Hey, it’s only me.” Carol held up her hands in surrender, giving you a reassuring smile. “Sorry, I forgot how jumpy you can be.”

“It’s okay. Lost in my head again.” You nodded, returning to your barstool.

“Thanks for giving my transfer a chance to be the shining star of my squad last week.” She nudged your side, flagging down Happy for a drink.

“Your what...with what,” you asked, narrowing your eyes at her. 

“The pool, the hose, the little girl stranded on a floaty with the water electrified. Ringing any bells?”

“Ohhh, right. That one.” You took a sip of your beer. “Fireman Rhodes or was it Ronin?”

“Rogers. Steve Rogers.” You pointed the neck of your beer bottle at her and nodded. “You made quite an impression on him. He can’t stop talking about it, and it’s getting really annoying, but I guess you did pop his dispatcher cherry.” She nudged your side with an ever-growing smile on her face. You rolled your eyes at her, shaking your head. “And if single you is interested, I am sure he is willing to mingle. At least, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“I’m not ready to start dating. I’m still trying to find myself after going through a terrible six-year marriage.” You gave her a half shrug, eyeing the bar. “When I am ready to date again, all I want is a nice guy.”

“Steve’s nice.  Hey, you should swing by one day before your shift and meet him,” she winked, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“I haven’t even filed for divorce yet.”

“Wait--” she turned on her stool to face you “--hasn’t it been three months? Why not?”

“I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“Doesn’t he know where Thor lives?”

“No,” you sighed, shaking your head. “Let's just say he didn’t take much interest in my life while we were together. Besides, I don’t think he'd think I’d go to Thor with how everything turned out the last time I went to him for help.

“What an asshole.” She rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her beer, and you nodded.  “Well, at least you know you have an admirer,” she added, making you scoff.

“Hey ladies, sorry I’m late,” Natasha greeted, taking the other stool next to you. “Clint and I checked out this noise complaint a neighbor called in. And it turns out this guy was serenading his ex-girlfriend with hopes to win her back. It was this whole thing, and we wanted to stick around to see what happened next.” 

“So what happened,” Carol asked with curious eyes, wearing a mischievous smirk on her face.

“It was crazy.” She shook her head, letting out a breathy chuckle. “She came down and punched him in the face. Apparently, this dude cheated on her with, wait for it--” she drummed her hands on the bar countertop “--her brother. It was a twist I didn’t see coming, but talk about drama on duty. Sometimes I think it would be easier fighting fires or answering phones all day.”

“Oh please, Nat, you wouldn’t last a day. You would miss seeing the excitement first hand. Over the phone, you don’t get much excitement,” you replied.

“Speak for yourself,” Carol added, taking a swig of her beer. “You would love my job, Nat. You get to boss men around.”

“I kind of do that already. Besides, I don’t think I could leave Clint. He’d be lost without me,” she smirked, signaling Happy to make her a martini.

Natasha oozed confidence, which came off as intimidating to most women. When she walked into a room, all eyes were on her, but it was attention she chose to ignore. When men would buy her drinks, she'd take it to another lovely lady. Nat was all about lifting and empowering women to feel confident in their own skin. She wasn’t afraid to tell people to back off or shut up. She was the role model you wish you had when you were with him, then maybe you would've had the confidence and courage to leave sooner. 

“Here you are, Nat?” Happy pushed the martini glass to her. “Are you ladies still good?” He asked, pointing to the drinks in front of you.  

“Yeah, we’re good. Thanks, Happy,” you smiled at him as he walked away, shooting you a thumbs up. 

“How is apartment hunting going, YN?” Nat asked, taking a sip of her martini.

“Good, I found this cute little condo a few blocks away from work. It has a modern feel to it, but I think it would be perfect for me,” you described. “I loved it when I saw the pictures. The landlord is out of town right now, but she told me it’s mine if I want it.”

“I’m so excited for you,” Nat squealed, squeezing your forearm. “You need to get out of that testosterone-filled house and get on your own two feet again.”

“Yes, you do,” Carol agreed. “What’s your softie older brother going to think of you leaving?”

“I’m going to have to break it to him slowly.”

__________

AN: Thanks for reading part 2! I hope you all are liking it so far! If you caught it there was a quote from Brooklyn 99 that I thought was too good not to put in! 😂 Also, Darryl Jacobson, if you don't remember him, he was Thor's roommate in those Marvel shorts. I thought he would be a fun and entertaining addition to this story! Also, any ideas as to why Steve left his old firehouse? Did you enjoy the little Peter Parker cameo? And what do you think Thor is going to think of her moving it? Comments always welcome, thanks again for reading! 

[satanfemme]

pre-made killjoy name generators r good and fun but personally I think the best way to come up with killjoy names isn’t to (completely) rely on any kind of fill-in-the blank with generic words. so if you’re struggling with coming up with names, here’s some things I do/keep in mind when coming up with good killjoy names quickly:

(though ofc these r just what work for me personally, I’m not saying there’s a right/wrong way to writing killjoy names!)

(under a cut cause it’s long and just a whole lotta nothing for my followers who aren’t writing killjoys lol)

there’s 3 main “categories” of killjoy names in canon:

first name, last name (ex: party poison; jet star; val velocity)

three names / a title + two names (ex: dj hot chimp; dr. death defying; agent cherri cola)

single name (ex: vaya; volume; newsagogo)

note that when there’s more than one name these are sometimes (+ more often than irl) alliterative, reminiscent of early comic book superhero names (ex: lois lane, bruce banner, ect)

names can be made up of real words (ex: fun ghoul), real* names (ex: tommy (chow mein) ), or they can be newly invented from existing words/phrases (ex: neonfuck). and, obviously, a name could be any combination of those, as is the case for tommy

*your “real names” don’t actually have to actually exist irl! korse has a “real” name from the city, but “korse” still isn’t actually a name. coming up with words that sound like they could be names (especially in a sci-fi future setting) but don’t really mean anything at all irl, would also work for this!

sometime, killjoy names are preluded with “the”, most obvious examples of this are “the kobra kid” or “the girl”.

-

All of that established, where I usually start with a new name, if I have nothing to base it off of already, is fantasynamegenerators.com and randomwordgenerator.com. the former has a wide variety of real and fantasy names (including categories from pop culture) so there’s a lot of choices depending on what specific style you’re looking for, and the latter lets you generate words by syllable count, first letter, or what part of speech it is. I also use thesaurus.com too if there’s a specific meaning I want, and when trying to find a real name that starts with a specific letter I usually google “names that start with...” (sorry I don’t have a website for that lol).

however I don’t one-and-done the generators. I generate words/names to establish a starting point but then build from there.

for example, if I’m looking for a killjoy with three names, I might start with fantasy name generators and use a few of the generators until I get a single name I like. then I might switch to the random word generator and find a noun and an adjective, one of which alliterates with the real name I already decided upon. then after that I’ll still fine tune the name as a whole if the rhythm** is off or if I don’t like how one of the words fits when it’s all put together.

actually doing the above for a minute or two, the names I first generated were robin rotten and tongue, but by keeping the parts of it that I liked and trashing the parts I didn’t, I adjusted it to be “Ruby Rotten Throat”. if I were actually using that name in a story I might further edit it as I want, for example hyphenating the last two names or shortening it to “the rotten throat” depending on what characterization I were giving this character themself (are they genuinely intimidating as a person? or just picking out a name that “sounds cool”?)

** wrt rhythm, tbh I’m not smart enough to offer concrete advice other than “say it out loud and make sure it ‘sounds right’”, but finding a catchy rhythm is pretty important. in canon, killjoy names can be any combination of syllables (ex: 2+1+3; 1+4; or ofc just 1) and with the longer names I wouldn’t even say they have to alternate between stressed and unstressed syllables necessarily (though cherri and dr. d’s names definitively do, so if you’re struggling with rhythm that’s an easy way to make something sound better!), literally just edit it until is sounds good and is easy to say.

-

as with all writing, you want to think about what the name actually says about the character and their characterization. but unlike most writing, most killjoys picked out their own names. this is something to keep in mind, asking yourself what words/names they themselves would be inspired by (killjoys they idolize? things found in nature? sci-fi tech?), what kind of name they themselves would like (fancy names? snappy names?), and what kinds of words/names would be realistic for the character to know or not. (a killjoy in the zones probably wouldn’t be able to name themselves “new york”... unless they collect books and discovered the name in one of those!)

most killjoys are very young. 40 is seen as very old and most of the canonical joys we see are teens/young adults regardless of timeline or interpretation. this doesn’t necessarily have to influence the names you choose for them, but it can.

specifically, don’t worry about a name being too “cringey” or anything like that. if someone had the freedom to name themselves literally anything at 14 years old, it’d make sense for the name to be kinda dumb (and it’d make sense for them to still keep it years later, considering they live in a society where names like that are the norm)

in fact, if you’re struggling, I suggest trying to get into the mindset of ur character given the freedom to name themselves anything with no limits, at whatever age they’d have been when naming themselves!

ok yeah that’s about everything I can think of off the top of my head, I just know killjoy names r hard for a lot of people to come up with, but I find them easy when I follow the above advice, so! hopefully some of that can help some of u too? love and light

[heartofether]

Bonus Episode #5 - Cherry on Top TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

VAL

Hey folks, Val here! So, by now you’ve probably figured out that this isn’t Episode 16 of The Heart of Ether. Due to some technical difficulties—and also just the fact that our schedules are all one collective dumpster fire—Episode 16 has been, unfortunately, delayed. It’s a big episode, and we didn’t want to rush it.

It will either be coming out next week, October 1st, aka when Halloween begins, or the week after. At the time of recording this, I’m aiming for October 1st, but we will see how it plays out. Thank you all so much for your patience, and if you’d like updates, you can follow us on Twitter and Tumblr @heartofether.

In the mean time, this one is actually a fluff episode, I’m not joking this time. Enjoy!

AUTOMATED VOICE

[SLIGHTLY SLOWED & PITCHED DOWN] Please state your message.

[THEME SONG PLAYS.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. CHERRY ON TOP DINER, EARLY EVENING.]

[THERE IS THE SOUND OF CLATTER, CHATTER AND 50’S ROCK MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND.]

AGENT MAY

Agent June, may I ask why you were so insistent on coming here?

AGENT JUNE

We’re supposed to be investigating the whole town, right? This diner seems to be pretty popular. Never know what might happen. [OVER-THE-TOP] Might see a monster pop out of the shadows! [HE LAUGHS.]

[A BEAT AS AGENT MAY ROLLS HIS EYES.]

AGENT MAY

They’re definitely playing up the whole 1950’s Americana theme.

AGENT JUNE

That’s kind of the point, yeah. No way in hell I’d survive living in the 50’s, but the retro aesthetic does have some charm to it, you know?

AGENT MAY

I suppose.

[THE WAITER IS HEARD WALKING OVER]

WAITER

Hey there! Can I get you folks started with anything to drink?

AGENT JUNE

One Cherry-On-The-Top Signature Float, please!

[TO AGENT MAY] Okay, May, hear me out: so, I heard this place has bomb cherry floats. I think they get their cherry cola from this special local place. You’ve gotta try it.

AGENT MAY

Thanks for the offer, but I don’t do ice cream floats. Hardly have time to eat as is, I don’t usually indulge in…dessert.

[A BEAT.]

AGENT JUNE

Well. That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.

WAITER

You could always get the Sweetheart Special and share it.

AGENT MAY

[FLUSTERED, STUTTERING] We’re not, uh—

[THEN, MUMBLING] I’ll have my own, thanks.

AGENT JUNE

[TO WAITER] Two cherry floats, please!

WAITER

Coming right up!

[THEY ARE HEARD WRITING THE ORDER DOWN BEFORE WALKING AWAY.]

AGENT MAY

Well, I hope you’re pleased with yourself.

AGENT JUNE

[SMUG] Worst case scenario, I get two floats, right?

AGENT MAY

Then I don’t want to hear it when you get sick later.

AGENT JUNE

Maybe if you simply allow yourself to enjoy a cold cherry delight, I won’t have to eat so much ice cream.

AGENT MAY

[HUFFING, THEN, CAVING, HESITANTLY AND ALMOST GUILTILY] I will admit, it doesn’t sound half bad.

AGENT JUNE

[GRINNING] That’s the spirit!

[AS THEY TALK, THE WAITER WALKS BACK OVER. GLASS CLATTERS AS THEY SET THE FLOATS ON THE TABLE.]

WAITER

Two Cherry-On-Tops.

AGENT JUNE

[SURPRISED] Oh, wow, that was fast. Say, how did you—?

WAITER

[CUTTING HIM OFF] Can I get you folks started with some food, or do you need a moment to decide?

AGENT MAY

We’ll just start with the floats for now. Thank you.

[THEY WALK AWAY. THERE’S A PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

So, I’ve been thinking.

AGENT MAY

That’s never a good sign.

AGENT JUNE

You haven’t even heard what I have to say yet!

AGENT MAY

[HE HUFFS] Alright. Spit it out.

AGENT JUNE

[EXCITED TO GET RIGHT INTO IT] So, one of our main missions while we’re here is to find the Heart, right?

AGENT MAY

[WARY] …right…

AGENT JUNE

Only, I think we’ve been going about it the wrong way. Because, I mean, we’ve been looking for it as if it’s some sort of landmark; As if we could just plug “123 Ether Street” into Google Maps and find out it’s x hours away if we take the highway. Look how far that’s gotten us, though.

AGENT MAY

Are you saying that you don’t think the Heart has a set location?

AGENT JUNE

What I’m saying is I don’t think we’re going to find it just by wandering around and hoping we get lucky! Like—okay, wait, let me borrow your float.

[AS AGENT MAY BEGINS TO SPEAK, JUNE IS ALREADY TAKING THE FLOAT. IT’S TOO LATE.]

AGENT MAY

Hey, give that back!

AGENT JUNE

Relax, I will! So, look at this glorious monstrosity of sugar and carbonation. What do you notice about it?

AGENT MAY

That it looks like a stomachache waiting to happen?

AGENT JUNE

The bare essentials, May. Tell me about the ingredients.

AGENT MAY

Um…it’s vanilla ice cream…

AGENT JUNE

[IN ANTICIPATION] Yes…

AGENT MAY

[CONT.] …with cherry cola and a sticky red syrup poured over it.

AGENT JUNE

Exactly!

AGENT MAY

Do the cherries on top factor into this equation?

AGENT JUNE

Mm, let’s call them the decorative flare of life and all its drama. They’re distractions from what really matters, though.

AGENT MAY

And what’s that?

AGENT JUNE

The ice cream! We’ve been swimming through this sea of soda for so long, looking for answers, and we’ve come up with jack.

[POINTING] We’re here right now: the thick, delectable foam on top. We need to go deeper, but how?

AGENT MAY

What are you suggesting, then?

AGENT JUNE

We have to get rid of all of the distractions. Get rid of the soda entirely and look at it as simply as possible. If we look at it for what it is instead of what we’ve made it out to be, then maybe we’ll realize how easy it’s been to find all along.

AGENT MAY

And how do we do that?

AGENT JUNE

We have to pour the soda out!

[THEN, HE GRABS THE FLOAT AND TURNS IT UPSIDE DOWN. IT SPILLS ACROSS THE TABLE IN A MAGNIFICENT SPLAT. MULTIPLE PATRONS GASP OR WINCE.]

PATRON

[MUMBLING, TO THE LEFT] Oh, god.

AGENT MAY

[SLOWLY] Now, June, I want you to look around and think about what you just did. Slowly.

[A PAUSE AS AGENT JUNE LOOKS AROUND.]

AGENT JUNE

[SUDDENLY SMALL, GUILTY] …I’m sorry?

AGENT MAY

[HE INHALES SHARPLY.] You had your own float! Why did you have to dump mine all over the table?

AGENT JUNE

It was a metaphor, dude! I just—got a bit too into it!

[AS THEY BICKER, THE WAITER WALKS BACK OVER.]

WAITER

Would you like me to make you another one?

AGENT MAY

Actually, I think I’m okay. We’ll take the bill now.

WAITER

No food, then?

AGENT MAY

[GRUMBLING] I had a late lunch.

WAITER

If you insist.

[THEY WALK AWAY. THERE’S A PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

[STILL GUILTY, BUT SINCERE] Do you wanna share mine?

AGENT MAY

I appreciate the gesture, but—

[HE STOPS HIMSELF, SIGHS, THEN, ALMOST SOFT, IN A WAY] You know what? That would be nice.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: “To be careful with people and with words was a rare and beautiful thing.”

Benjamin Alire Sáenz in Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, 2012.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Chapter 2: Bring on the Mania pt 2

Everyone stared at Amane once they got to the classroom. They already parted with Jack, Epel, and Sebek, and the three boys wished the ADeuce combo luck with Amane. The latter basked in the attention, even sending a teasing wink to the lingering stares, who blushed and turned back to the teacher. Crewel made it VERY clear to Amane that if he disrupts the class in any way, he will receive punishment, like how he did before. All he got from was...

"Yes, daddy."

"Oh, does Professor Crewel remind you of your father?"

Amane wanted to laugh at her naivety if he wasn't being tied up and suspended in midair.

He remained like that for the rest of the period. Occasionally he would let out a joke or flirt with one of the students. Though nothing too vulgar, lest he would incur the wrath of the bi-colored man again.

He was finally free when the bell rang. Valerie had to pull him aside and gave a small warning for the next class.

"Please behave. Professor Trein is awfully strict, and I don't think he'll appreciate your humor." Amane wanted to protest, but the look she gave was enough to make him reconsider his words.

"Fine, I'll tone down my charms here too." 

Looks like he’s seeing DILF again

Turns out, it was a good thing he did. The entire lesson was boring, and some students were nodding off. Ace got bored and decided to entertain himself with Lisha, while was Deuce truly focused on the lesson.

Valerie kept herself awake by having a small staring competition with Lucius. The cat's eyes were the perfect thing to keep her awake. A light snore disrupted her concentration from Lucius and glanced beside her.

Amane is already fast asleep and using a sleeping Grim as a pillow. The sight made her smile. But it didn't last long, as a large book slammed onto the table, waking everyone up.

"Gh-Huh!... Wha?" Amane rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, found himself being stared down by the elderly professor and his cat.

"Mr. Mania, I see you haven’t changed. Just because you are a guest doesn’t mean I will tolerate sleeping, so I expect proper respect from a guest." "Meow."

With that, he turned away and carried on with the lesson. Amane sunk low on his seat with a troubled look on his face. He is never pissing off that guy again.

Amane stretched himself on the patch of grass he and Lisha laid on. He was getting a kick out of seeing Valerie beating half of the boys in P.E. He cheered her on each exercise and laughed out loud at how some boys can't keep up with her. Namely Grim.

"Oi! Quit laughing!" The monster huffed as he tried and failed to do another push-up.

"Maybe if you'd stop using Valerie as carriage and start using those fat legs of yours, you wouldn't have much of a problem doing this." Ace snickered, having a much easier time than Grim. A whistle blew in the air.

"Alright! That's enough for today! You're all dismissed!"

Grim collapsed and panted heavily. Lisha hopped over to him and poked his fat tummy. The former tried to swat her way but was too tired to do so. Valerie shook her head and picked up her baby.

____________________________

"Yes! Finally lunch! Onward Henchwoman, you have to keep your promise to me!" Grim commanded, tugging the ends of her pink bow, steering her to the selection. Lisha was perched on her shoulder, preening her wings.

"Yes, yes." She casually said, maneuvering through bodies of students while keeping pace with her friends.

"Damn, I kind of miss this." Amane had to give the school credit for having such widespread choices.

"Oh, Valerie, take this stuffed crab! And this cordon bleu! And the lamb curry! And...and..." Grim kept on pointing at dishes and ordering Valerie to grab as much as possible. But she didn't mind, the food is food.  She also took the liberty to take a chicken alfredo, salisbury steak, fruit milk, and tons of cinnamon rolls.

"Damn, that's a lot. You sure you can pay Sugar tits?" Amane probe, examining her tray filled to the brim with food Grim picked. On Amane's plate are a garden salad, croutons, and water.

"Sure, I can! I think." She muttered the last part, but he heard it. Amane pursed his lips, watching her fumble with her wallet. Before going stiff upon noticing what she had left. He sighed and went in front of her.

"I'd like to pay for mine and this girl's lunch." This action stunned her.

"B-But...T-This i-is unce-" She tried to protest, but he placed his finger on her lips.

"Hush Sugar tits. Think of this as a payment on what you spent on me during my recovery period."

Oh yeah, he ran her wallet dry with his expensive tastes. After paying, they saw Epel waving his hand and their way over. The boys did their best to stay calm, but the way Amane watched them with mischief in his eyes was hard.

"Haha! Thanks for the food!" Grim said as he happily devoured the food.

"So, how your day so far, Amane?" Valerie questioned as she gave small pieces of chicken to Lisha.

"Pretty good. Despite the fact, I was bound, hung upside down, and got slightly traumatized."

"That's all the students in Night Raven experienced." A new voice interjected. Next to their table stood Cater along with Trey and Riddle.

"Dorm leader Rosehearts! And Cater and Trey. Good afternoon." Deuce greeted his seniors.

"What's up?" Ace asked.

"I heard from the students that a man has been joining Valerie in her classes and has been an inconvenience to the teachers," Riddle replied, giving Amane a hard stare.

"Also, we just came to meet our guest of the day~" Cater airily added.

"Well, he's right here hot stuff~" Amane flirted. He thanked the Great 7 for making these schoolboys hot. Cater smiled in his direction.

"So you're the guy everyone's been talking about. Let's take a quick selfie you're joining too, Valerie." Cater threw his arm around him and pulled in Valerie too. He took his phone and snapped the pic.

"Hey! I didn't even prepare!" Amane complained. But Cater laughed.

"Relax, you look great. Especially you Vally~" Cater bopped her in the nose. She giggled at the action.

"What's your name? I need to tag you." He asked as he typed on his phone.

"The name's Amane Mania. What about you cuties~" He ended with a wink.

"I'm Riddle Rosehearts, dorm leader Heartslabyul." The young man proudly answered. Amane scrutinized him. His whole appearance is the perfect combination of handsome and adorable.

"I'm Trey Clover, the vice-dorm leader." Amane let out a low whistle as he ogled Trey.

"Hello, daddy~" Amane puckered lips and winked.

Trey let out a nervous laugh. "Nice to meet you too."

"Hey~ Don't forget about me. I'm Cater Diamond. Hey, look how many likes you got on MagiCam."

He showed them the pic. Cater had his signature smile and peace sign. Amane didn't smile, but he looked like one of those male models in magazines. Valerie looked like a deer in headlights with her lips forming a small o shape. They were getting approximately a hundred likes a second.

Amane hummed as he admired the picture. "Not bad, not bad. You should have pulled off something cuter, Val."

"She's always cute." Deuce blurted.

... ... ...

Deuce's face burned bright red once the words sank in and covered his face. Ace burst out in laughter, patting Deuce on the back. Epel tried to comfort Deuce but to no avail. Jack and Sebek merely shook their heads for their friend's mistake.

"Aww, thank you, Deuce. You're so sweet, and you're cute too." She sent him a closed-eyed smile.

Unaware of Ace's abrupt stop of his laughter or the irritated looks the rest of the boys are sending to Deuce. Amane, however, found it amusing.

Riddle cleared his throat to regain their attention. "Back to the main topic." He cast his eyes towards Amane.

"Even though you are a guest, you must conduct yourself and NOT create unsolicited trouble for anyone." He emphasized the last part, eyeing at ADeuce and Grim, who looked away from his gaze. Amane waved his hand dismissively.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, cherry boy."

Ace choked on his drink and covered his mouth to suppress his laughter. Jack's eyes widen in disbelief, while Deuce, Epel, and Sebek just looked confused.

"Cherry... boy?" Epel repeated. Valerie and Grim were just as confused. But, Lisha just shook her head.

"Is it because his hair is the same color as a cherry?" Grim mused, Valerie shrugged.

"Could be."

Meanwhile, the boy in question frowned. Confused about the nickname and oblivious to the true meaning behind. However, the two seniors froze and stared at Amane slack-jawed. After a few moments of awkward silence, Trey let out another nervous laugh.

"Anyway, we should probably go and let you guys finish your lunch," Trey remarked.

"What's a cherry boy?" Riddle asked.

"Let's go, Riddle!" Trey exclaimed. Harshly tugging on his dorm leader's hand, Riddle stumbled from Trey's rushed steps with Cater not far behind. Failing to hold back his laughter. Valerie watched in confusion as her seniors retreated back to their table.

What was that about?

A loud banging interrupted her train of thought and turned her attention back to her friends.

Ace was booming with laughter, repeatedly banged his fist on the table, earning stares from the other students. Jack was furiously rubbing his temples, trying to fight back the blooming headache he was getting. While the other three just sat there, still confused.

"HHAHAHAHA! Oh, Great 7 that was too good!" Ace let out guffaws of laughter, leaning against the table.

"I can't believe you said that," Jack grumbled. Amane just stuck his tongue at him.

"I still don't get it," Deuce commented.

"Well, I'll gladly explain-ACK!" Amane offered but was cut-off by Lisha's brutal pecks and swipes of her tiny talons.

Deuce winced at the sight. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.

"Oww! Hey! Quit that!" She didn't. Lisha has been with Amane long enough to endure his vulgar jokes to the point that they don't affect her. But she refuses to have the innocent corrupted too early. Especially Valerie.

Ace was calming down from his laughing fit and snickered at the sight of Amane being tortured by a tiny bird. Ah, revenge comes in unexpected ways.

Sebek voiced his exact thoughts. "Hmph. Serves him right for being so debouched." Folding his arms and casting a disapproving look at the hetero male.

"Should we do something?" Epel asked. As much as he enjoys Amane's pain, he had to pity him. His grandfather was attacked by a flock of owls when he was younger, and he still has faint scars from the incident.

"I'm pretty sure Valerie's got this under control," Jack replied, and he was right.

The opal-eyed girl managed to catch the small owl when she too busy tugging on Amane's hair. Lisha hooted a protest, but it died down once Valerie rubbed her head.

"Good girl, stay calm." Once Lisha was calm, she went back to her discarded chicken pieces.

Once they finished lunch, they were headed to class when they were stopped by Professor Crewel. After giving Amane a warning glare, he asked Valerie to pick up a few magnolia petals from the botanical garden due to a student accidentally using too much.

"Of course. Honestly, I prefer favors from you than from the crow." She admitted. The man gave a deep chuckle.

"Careful pup, last time when Crowley walked into a conversation like this, he sulked for a week." He warned, but there was a smirk on his face.

[snarkybluechristian]

Hazbin Hotel: Yandere Alastor x Vaggie Chapter 30

About 45 minutes later, Vaggie was waiting in her room wearing a light periwinkle sleeveless, sweater blouse, a violet-colored skirt that almost went down to her feet, and purple sandals with her pink ribbon tied as a headband around her head.

Vaggie was sitting there anxiously wondering what kind of shape Angel was in when she finally heard the locks on her door turning.

Vaggie turned her head to see Alastor open the door, step into the room, and hold open the door for Angel.

Angel entered slowly on his crutches.  He was wearing a white shirt that looked like Alastor’s with the black cross in the center and black pants and black shoes.  Angel’s fur was clean and his knee was rebandaged firmly to make walking easier, but Vaggie could see the dark circles under his eyes and the way his weak, thin limbs and frame struggled to move across the room.

Despite all this, Angel still flashed a weak smile and said, “Hiya, toots.  How’s it going?”

Vaggie stood up, walked over to Angel, and replied kindly, “I’m okay.  You look better than I thought you would, Angel.”

“Alastor cleaned me up,” Angel said.

“He did?” Vaggie asked.

“Yeah,” Angel replied with a sarcastic smile.  “He gave me a bath, brushed my teeth, and finally rebandaged my stinky, busted knee.  Wasn’t that nice of him?”

“Yeah,” Vaggie said taking another step closer to Angel.  “Let me help you get to the bed.”

“No need to trouble yourself, dearest,” Alastor said suddenly popping up between them.  “I’ll move this giant cripple for you.”

Alastor snapped his fingers and suddenly Angel was hovering through the air with Alastor’s magic until he was sat down on one end of Vaggie’s bed.

Vaggie quickly took her seat on the other side of the bed, and Alastor turned his attention to the familiars pushing in the carts with the delicious omelets on them.

Angel took the opportunity to reach out his third pair of arms until his right hand touched Vaggie’s and held it in his palm.

Vaggie turned and looked at Angel who gave her a wink and a warm smile before quickly retracting his hands again.

“I heard that, Angel,” Alastor said turning around while the familiars pushed the carts in.  “That is your one and only warning.  Touch my bride again and you’ll be returned to your room without your breakfast.  Is that understood?”

“Alastor…” Vaggie tried to argue.

“Whatever you say, daddy,” Angel interrupted sassily unbuttoning his shirt to let his chest fluff out as the carts with their omelets, orange juice, and side of fruit settled in front of him and Vaggie.  “I’ll…Oh, my God..”

Angel’s eyes fell on the first real meal he’d have all week and his mouth visibly watered.

Angel wasted no time.  He thanked God under his breath, picked up his utensils, and dug right in.

Vaggie was about to devour her own omelet when she looked up and noticed that Alastor was still standing there with his wide, toothy grin.

“Well?” Vaggie asked suspiciously.

“Well, what?” Alastor quipped amusedly.

“Do you plan on standing there the whole time?  Don’t you need to eat?”

“I ate while I was preparing the omelets, dear.”

“You didn’t answer my first question.”

“I’m here to observe, Vaggie,” Alastor said tilting his head in amusement.

“Observing?” Vaggie asked incredulously.  “Are we just lab animals to you?”

“I think he means ‘chaperone,’” Angel said before swallowing his bites of omelet.  “Isn’t that right, Alastor?”

“That is correct, Angel,” Alastor replied.

Angel smiled and seductively unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt to uncover his chest fluff while saying, “Now, who’s the bluenose, Alastor?”

“That would still be you, Angel,” Alastor said.

Angel cocked his head playfully and retorted, “Really?  How so?  All I did was come to save a damsel-in-distress.”

“I believe my note made it clear that was Vaggie was in more than safe hands,” Alastor retorted back.

Angel scoffed and said, “Knowing how Vaggie feels about you was more than enough cause for alarm.”

“Angel…” Vaggie pleaded.

Alastor chuckled darkly and said, “Tell me, Angel.  How did you get to my home in the first place?  I don’t exactly advertise my manor’s address.  You had to find it out somehow.  So, tell me.  How did you do it?”

Angel dramatically leaned backwards and said, “Vaggie threw a radio at my head.  After that, I just can’t remember a thing…”

Alastor sighed and said, “You still refuse to cooperate after everything you’ve gone through?  Oh, well.  So be it then.  After the auction, you’ll be the problem of whoever buys you.”

Angel rolled his eyes and said “Whatever” before going back to his eating.

Alastor allowed Angel and Vaggie to eat for several minutes in disconcerting silence.

Vaggie could feel the heavy tension in the room.  Angel was so nonchalant, but inside, she knew that he was as scared as she was.  It was all she could do to keep up a brave front as they both finished their meals.

It was at that moment that Alastor finally spoke up and asked, “Are you excited about the auction, Angel?”

Angel scoffed in disbelief and replied, “I don’t think excited is the right word for it.”

“Well, you should be.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve given so many of your old friends a chance to purchase you and a little something extra.”

“What might that be?”

“Your soul.”

Vaggie and Angel’s mouths fell open almost at the exact same time.

Vaggie looked at Angel fearfully who shuddered briefly before regaining his composure and replying, “What?!”

“It’s true,” Alastor said summoning a glowing orb in the shape of a heart that Angel knew indeed to be his soul.

“How did you…?” Vaggie asked while Angel sat there in stunned silence.

“I took it from his old master, Valentino,” Alastor interrupted.  “I know the rules surrounding overlords and those contracted to them.  Unless I hold the soul, I can’t give the contractor away, so I got the soul.”

“Valentino would never give me up without a fight,” Angel said giving Alastor a pointed look as his hands balled into fists.  “How did you get Val to hand me over?”

“That is nothing for you to worry about, Angel,” Alastor replied in a dismissive, upbeat tone.  “But Valentino is invited to the auction, so he has the chance to buy you back if that’s what you’re really worried about.”

Angel sneered and said with a confidence he was far from truly possessing, “I ain’t worried, strawberry pimp.  Thank you though.”

Vaggie anxiously looked at Angel and then at Alastor as the soul disappeared to wherever Alastor kept it.  There was nothing right about this.  Souls were a commodity in hell and those with the power to trade them almost never gave them not, especially if the contractor was someone as lucrative for their owner as Angel was.  Valentino did not give Angel up.  Vaggie knew it and Angel knew it.

“How did you get Angel’s soul, Alastor?” Vaggie asked out loud.

Both Angel and Alastor looked at her.  Angel gave her a pleading look to not press the matter further while Alastor simply looked amused.

“Oh, my dear, it is so sweet for you to worry about my well-being…” Alastor began.

“I’m not,” Vaggie interrupted.

“…but you should know by now that Valentino doesn’t stand a chance against me,” Alastor continued without acknowledging the insult.  “He didn’t put up any fight at all when I took Angel’s soul and we parted on friendly terms.  He’s even coming to the auction tomorrow for a chance to buy Angel back.”

“Okay,” Angel said with a smile as he went back to drinking his orange juice.

Vaggie was surprised at Angel’s response until he saw Angel’s hands gripping onto the comforter on her bed for dear life.

“I’m inviting some of your other associates too, Angel,” Alastor said.

Angel looked up from his drink and replied, “Is that so?  Who all are you inviting?”

Alastor’s smile somehow grew wider.

Vaggie narrowed her gaze on Alastor as she realized that he was about to pull another stop.

“Well, if you must know,” Alastor began unable to completely conceal his excitement underneath his calm, businesslike demeanor.  “I’ve invited Valentino, of course.  I’ve invited Vox and Velvet, as well as many other overlords and minor kingpins that you might recognize, including Cherri Bomb, Sir Pentious, and…Who am I forgetting?  It was on the tip of my tongue.  Oh, yes!  Your family!”

Angel’s eyes flashed in panic as he immediately spat out his orange juice on the plate in front of him and started coughing on whatever he managed to swallow.

Vaggie turned to Angel fearfully, and completely disregarding Alastor’s warnings, put a hand on Angel’s back in support, and asked, “Angel?  Angel, are you alright?  Angel?”

Alastor’s smile did not change at all while Angel’s coughing subsided.  He didn’t even seem to care that Vaggie was touching Angel as he nonchalantly walked up to him and handed him a handkerchief to wipe his face with.

Vaggie snatched the handkerchief from Alastor, wiped Angel’s face, and said, “Angel, are you…?”

Ignoring the pain on his busted knee, Angel got to his feet, slid the cart away, grabbed Alastor’s collar, and yelled straight in his face, “You invited my fucking family?!”

Alastor stood there relishing the physical pain, fear, and anger behind Angel’s eyes for just a second before he gently pushed Angel back onto the bed and said, “Yes, siree.  Your father Henroin and your older brother Arackniss, if I’m not mistaken.  I thought that since they’re your blood they’d like the chance to bid on you.  They were more than happy to accept the invitation when I contacted them.  It seems that they have been waiting for the right opportunity to reunite meet you…”

“You son-of-a-bitch…” Angel spat out angrily clenching his fists.

“Angel, stop!” Vaggie said pleadingly grabbing onto Angel’s arm to hold him back.

“What’s the matter, Angel?” Alastor asked cocking his head back innocently.  “Isn’t the possibility of reuniting with your family a good thing?”

“You’ve talked to them!” Angel snapped back.  “You know exactly why I don’t want to see them ever again, ya bastard!”

Alastor tutted and said, “Angel, there’s no reason for that sort of language, especially not in front of a lady like my beautiful bride…”

“Oh, shove it!” Vaggie yelled.  “You know what you’ve done!”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Alastor replied with a light chuckle.  “All I’ve done is grant an opportunity for a prodigal son to return to his family.”

Suddenly, without warning, Angel jumped from his spot on the bed on top of Alastor knocking the both of them to the floor as Angel’s hands wrapped around Alastor’s throat.

“Angel, stop it!” Vaggie pleaded as she flew over and tried pulling Angel off Alastor.

“Run, Vaggie!” Angel replied without breaking his concentration.  “If Alastor has gone this far to screw me over, what do you think he’s got planned for you?!  You have to go!”

“Not without you!” Vaggie retorted.  “Come…”

“NEItheR Of YoU ArE GoinG ANyWheRe…”

In the blink of an eye, Alastor was standing up and holding Angel by the neck as the room around them filled with static, Alastor’s antlers grew, and his eyes turned into radio dials.

Vaggie froze in fear while Angel struggled to reach his feet to the ground and loosen his neck from Alastor’s grip.  Both of their eyes bright in absolute terror as they wondered what Alastor would do next.

However, instead of violent display of power they were both expecting, Alastor cut out his static, returned to his normal demeanor, and dropped Angel on the floor where he fell over writhing in pain and struggling to catch his breath.

As if forgetting anything had just happened, Alastor sighed and said, “Angel, what’s done is done.  You having a violent outburst won’t change anything.”

“My violent outburst?” Angel asked incredulously.  “You got a screw loose if you think I’m going home with my shitty family.”

“What a ridiculous statement!  I never expected you to go home with any of your potential buyers willingly,” Alastor replied with a dark chuckle as he reached out a hand towards Angel.

Angel stubbornly pushed the hand away and tried standing himself up using the bed as support before Vaggie quietly pushed past Alastor and helped Angel get to his feet herself.

Alastor watched on disapprovingly without breaking his smile, shook his head, and said, “I can’t believe you find such an unsavory character to be your friend, my dear.”

“You’re the unsavory character, asshat!” Vaggie spat back as she helped Angel sit back on her bed.

“Babe?” Angel said weakly grabbing Vaggie’s shoulder.

“Angel?” Vaggie asked, turning around to see Angel start to lose consciousness.  “Angel, what’s happening?”

“Why don’t ya ask the stag?” Angel said angrily leering at Alastor as Vaggie helped him lay down on the bed.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Vaggie yelled at the Radio Demon standing in place with his smug smile.

“Oh, Vaggie, Angel is not in the best mood right now,” Alastor said as he slowly lifted his hand to show the freshly-emptied syringe.  “He’s so cranky and irritable and not at all pleasant to be around.  Surely, a nap would do him some good.  Don’t you think?”

“You cheating bastard…” Angel muttered just loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“Now, now, Angel,” Alastor interrupted wagging his finger disapprovingly.  “You got to bathe and eat your breakfast, but you repaid me by attacking me and upsetting my bride.  Now, you can rest while my servants fix your knee until it’s time for you to wake up to relieve yourself and eat lunch.”

“You motherfucking…” Vaggie snarled.

“Vaggie, it’s okay,” Angel interrupted, his eyes struggling to maintain consciousness.  “I’ll be fine.  But listen.  The moment I’m gone, Alastor has nothing on you.  So, please, give him enough hell for the both of us.”

With that, Angel fell asleep on the bed.

After a moment of silence, Alastor said, “Strange.  The serum usually takes less time to sedate people.  He must have more tolerance...”

“Why the fuck did you do that?!” Vaggie snapped furiously.

Alastor struck his cane on the ground, instantly summoning his familiars who pushed out the carts and carried Angel’s limp body back to his room.

Vaggie tried to follow them, but Alastor grabbed her arm, pulled her in close, wrapped one arm around her, held her chin up with his free hand, and said, “Honestly, dear, because I thought that we could use some alone time.  With everything going on, we’ve been so busy that we haven’t had much time to enjoy each other’s company.”

Vaggie glared angrily, wishing her stare was strong enough to bore eyes through Alastor’s damn skull.

Alastor smiled and said, “How’s about you and I go into the city for some last-minute preparations for tomorrow?”

“Forget it,” Vaggie said as she shook out of Alastor’s hold and attempted to walk past him to get to Angel’s room.  “I’m not helping you sell Angel.  There’s no fucking way!”

Alastor chuckled as he grabbed Vaggie, pulled her back into his arms, and said darkly, “Vaggie, dear, I’m not asking you if you want to accompany me.  I’m telling you to.”

Vaggie felt a shiver run down her spine and a gulp go down her throat as Alastor summoned her purse, took her arm in his, and merrily walked her out of the room and down the hall.

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 2 - Homecoming - We Welcome Back The Lords Of Chaos

Danny, Sam, Tucker and Valerie - lovingly known as the defect quartet - may have been held back one year but there’s no way they aren’t starting off their last year with dramatic bullshit. Because, honestly, they're tired of wearing masks and the lies. Besides, they’ve all moved to the Ghost Realm anyway, so what does it matter.

Danny lounges across the arms of a high backed chair, lazily swirling a half-filled wine glass of ectoplasm. Sighing up at Sams’ bedroom ceiling, “so we’re really doing this huh?”.

Tucker huffs from where he’s sprawled out on the floor, “might as well dude. It’s our last year to really throw Casper High through a loop”.

“And sources say, all the fuckers we should have graduated with last year will be there”.

Danny tilts his head down to look at Valerie, who’s repairing an ecto-blaster, chuckling at her, “is that your way of saying you spied on everyone?”.

Valerie just smirks making the halfa laugh, as Sam comes in the room. Everyone looks to her and takes in the deep red and orange knee-length dress made of felt leaves, dark purple under-bust corset; the arm sleeves long flowing sheer black and decorated in gold filigree. Black hair short and spiked, with leaves sticking out in places; her ever-present combat boots on, grapevines for shoelaces.

All three make a point of whistling.

Valerie kicks Tucker, “your turn to get dressed up, techno geek”.

Tucker grunts, “ladies first”. While Danny laughs, “Tuck fuck, you’re the one who’s going to enjoy this most. Parading around your royal ass for chics to fawn at”. Making Tucker groan as he rolls over and pushes to get up, “y’all are never going to let me live down that shit are you”.

“Nope”.

“Not a chance”.

“Wouldn’t think of it”.

Tucker just flips them off as he leaves the room.

Danny downs the rest of his glass and flips in the chair to be sprawled out on his stomach; chin up on the armrest and feet touching the floor. Blowing cold air at Valerie who sends him a dirty look as he speaks, “you’re not gonna take long are ya?”.

“I’m a girl”.

“But you’re well, you”.

“Asshole”, Valerie smacks him over the head with the butt of her gun, “but no, unlike you lot I’m not going all ghost royal to freaking homecoming”.

Sam rolls her eyes as she does her make up, “wait for prom, this is just basic lazy day royal garb”.

Tucker comes back in seconds later, a white intricately pleated kilt with gold trim and belt. Simple chain mail t-shirt and white robe, tied closed loosely with a silk rope. Topped off with a large bronze necklace etched with snakes and jackals, and wearing no less than fifteen gold, silver, and iron bracelets and rings; embedded with gemstones.

Danny, raising an eyebrow, “fucking speeding dressing? Is that a challenge?”.

“Dude no”, Tucker continuing to speak as he puts on a pair of sandals, “you can make your clothing appear instantly and out of thin air. Meanwhile, I simply calculated the highest rate off efficiency based on my clothing and accessories. You know, a real skill”.

Valerie snorts as she stands, tossing the ecto-gun on the bed, “I don’t know Tucker, creation and teleportation of damn ghost clothing sounds like a far superior skill. And less geeky”. Tucker makes a show of looking offended before pulling out black eyeliner and green eyeshadow; joining Sam at her vanity.

Danny flings over the chair, standing up as Valerie leaves to get dressed. Danny walks over to the vanity and squeezes his two friends' shoulders, “we are going to freak everyone out, now hand me an eye darkness stick”.

Sam snorts, handing Danny an eyeliner pencil, “drama queen”.

“King actually”.

Sam just rolls her eyes while Tucker points at her, “he’s right though. No one will be surprised by you, miss ooky spooky, but the rest of us? Just chaos”.

Danny snickers as he leans over them, pulling down at his eyelid as he lines his eyes, “poor Mr. Lancer’s going to have a never-ending stream of heart attacks this year and we’re starting it off today with a showy flashy bang. I’m surprised we even got Val to go along. The quartet’s truly complete”.

Sam smirks as she finishes off her lips with a metallic purple, gold shimmer layered over top, “I just want to see Paulina’s face. She couldn’t even afford Tucker’s outfit”.

“Isn’t she, like, a small-time model now or something?”.

“Yeah dude, for cars I think? Course she only stuck around Amity for your ghostly spandex covered ass”.

Valerie leans on the doorway after reentering, “well it is a great ass”.

Danny slaps his ass and winks exaggeratedly, “you mean it’s deadass drop-dead gorgeous”. While Sam and Tucker both turn their heads to take Valerie in, being the only one who isn’t some kind of ghost royalty. Knight was close enough to garner looking fancy as shit though. Having been knighted by all three of them.

Red titanium breastplate, waist plate, shin plates, and forearm plates; breastplate etched with black images of battling hellhounds, the rest etched with blood blossoms. Over top of a sheer black near floor-length pleated sleeveless dress, a dark cherry red silk knee-length long-sleeved pencil dress underneath that. Long curly hair pulled into a low ponytail and laying forward over her shoulder. Simple black titanium band rings on every finger and black dress shoes.

Danny makes a show of swooning as he hands her make up bag over. Which she uses to bop Danny on the nose with, as he leaves to change.

Shaking her head as she trades seats with Sam, who goes to sit on her bed and paint her nails black. Valerie only somewhat seriously asking, “so just how excessive is he going to look?”.

Sam chuckles, not even looking up, “good luck getting him to not wear a velvet cape”.

“My god what have I signed up for”.

Tucker snorts, “generalised suffering and ringing in the year of mischief”.

Danny dramatically swishes the vines covering the doorway out of the way, near shouting, “more like singing in the mighty reign of the defect quartet! Humanities rejects!”.

Valerie points towards his voice, “hey now, I still live in the Mortal Realm...mostly. I haven’t totally defected from normal human soci-”, cutting herself off as she turns around and gapes.

Danny’s standing there in a Superman pose, floor-length black crushed velvet cape with white plush lining; clasped together by two large green skulls, images of flames etched in pale green, and connected by a loosely hanging large blackened silver chain. Over top of a silk dark purple surcoat with black satin swirling embroidery, black leather double belt decorated with black spikes, and long-sleeved fine silver chainmail under it all. Black clawed titanium gauntlets and segmented knee-high boots of the same metal; both embedded with emeralds, rubies and onyx stones, at every joint and the cuffs. The whole ensemble finished off with a black leather choker, a green skull centrepiece with a large black obsidian ring hanging from its mouth.

Sam and Tucker start laughing at Valerie’s still gaping facial expression, while Danny slumps exaggeratedly, “What? Too much?”.

Tucker laughs hard, thankful his make up is already set, “dude! We’re going for street royal! Not ‘we’re going to the opera house’!”.

Danny sticks his arms out to the side slightly and looks down, “this is street royal”, plucking at the cape collar, “this cape is barely one step up from civvies”. Making Valerie finally lose it and start laughing her ass off. Wheezing, “you! You’ve been! Been here too long!”.

Tucker points at Danny’s shoes, “at least go for low top shoes and wrist-length gloves”.

Danny rolls his eyes and alters their length, before sticking in decent sized emerald earrings and giving himself black leggings, “happy?”.

Valerie shakes her head with a smile, “this school year is going to be a mess”.

Danny smirks, “perfect then. They have the audacity to hold these royal and knightly asses back a year then they deserve it. Plus”, pointing at everyone in turn, “how has no one figured shit out yet. Like this is getting sad, and it’s not like any one of us actually need the acceptance or even tolerance of the mortal world”.

Everyone sighs, “would still like it though”, before shrugging, “screw the lot of ‘em otherwise though”.  

Tucker points at Danny, “really says a lot when even Mr. ‘Oh-Ancients-what-if-they-don't-accept-me?’ no longer gives a damn”.

Danny shrugs, “kind of hard to care when my folks and your folks, and maybe Val’s, are the only ones I’ll ever really be seeing again. And they’ve all accepted our crazy bullshit”.

Sam groans as she sticks her nails in Danny’s face for him to freeze-dry, “and lucky me, I get to be the odd one out in the acceptance train. But hey, it’s not like I ever actually cared. Not to mention Nana Ida is leaving the four of us everything”.

Valerie coughs, nearly messing up her dark grey lipstick, “wait, I’m included now?”.

Sam rolls her eyes, “duh. All of team Phantom is and you’ve officially joined the chaos”.

Danny smirks as he flops back down in the chair, “there’s no way out and nothing but dead ends. But rejoice! For death is only the beginning”.

Valerie squints at him as she finishes, “that's way more ominous than you think it is”. While Tucker gets up and rummages through Danny’s bag, lifting up their assorted headgear. Tossing it to each of them and smirking at Danny’s ‘simple’ three-peaked green crown covered in obsidian stones, “well at least this one doesn’t float, or burst into flames, or give off mist, or give off the horrifying wails and moans of the dead”.

“I’d like to actually be able to hear the music, Tuck”.

Danny adjusts his ‘small’ crown and admires everyone else. Sam in her silver elven like crown wrapped in ivy vines and leaves. Tucker’s golden band of coiling snakes and rubies. Valerie with a blackened silver headband with titanium black ram horns, green skull wrapped in vines with a snake winding through its eyes at the centre. Nodding curtly, “alright, y’all ready to go freak all our former and current classmates out?”. All three of them give devilish grins so Danny continues, “well then, it’ll be a pleasure doing this song and dance with you all”, nodding at Sam, “Botany Lordess NightShade”, nodding at Tucker, “Ranatheo Pharaoh T Duulaman”, nodding at Valerie, “High Dread Knight Rufescent”.

The three of them nod back, “Phantom, High Ghost King”. Before everyone bursts out into laughs as they hop into Sam’s pumpkin carriage drawn by three black horses with flaming manes. Deciding to save Danny’s skeleton procession and fanciful Litter, as their ride for prom.

They all agreed to arrive fashionably late, since being tardy was something all of them were well known for. So it seems no surprise to them that things have already gotten started by the time they get there. Danny’s the first to hop out and holds the carriage door for everyone else. A dude smoking outside going bug-eyed at them and coughing, though the quartet completely ignores him.

Tucker, snickering at Danny, “dude, you’re the highest royal of us all. The fuck you doing?”.

Danny smirks, “gotta take care of my underlings Tuck. And y’all are mortals after all”. All three of them flip him off before the defect quartet head inside sneakily; all of them seriously wondering how long it will take for anyone to notice them.

Valerie makes her way over to the food stand, which honestly seemed like a dumb idea to have in the same room as a high school dance. Munching on some cheesy snacks, there really wasn’t a Ghost Realm equivalent to this level of greasiness and synthetic cheese, when someone taps on her shoulder. Turning around to see Star with some curly-haired brunette. Star speaking with shock, “oh! Valerie?!?”. Valerie just waits and smirks into her drink as Star opens and closes her mouth before speaking, “why? How? Armour?”.

Valerie laughs, takes a sip of her drink and eats a few more cheesy snacks before responding, “yup, it’s the last year and none of you noticed just how weird we were. So we decided fuck it, let’s really be straight strange. And the armour is a status thing, Star. Kind of came with the whole getting knighted thing”.

The brunette speaking up while Star just stares, “you know, I heard there were some unusual people in this town but, uh, this is a bit above and beyond”.

Danny laughs from behind the two girls, “you really have no idea Brittney. There’s no place stranger”, making both girls jump.

But Star quickly collects herself, recognising Danny’s deep and rather unique voice before turning around and stopping. Rubbing at her eyes as Danny and Valerie laugh. Brittney nearly whispers, “how do you know my name?”.

Danny smirks and shrugs loosely, cape bunching up. While Valerie speaks, “oh don’t mind that. Danny knows everyone’s names”.

Star looks back to Valerie while pointing at Danny, “okay...What is going on here? Those are, that is a lot of precious gems”.

Danny waves her off, “these are my less decorated clothing. Probably the most dressed-down I’ve been in a solid month”, chuckling, “ah the joys of being royalty”.

Star chokes and it looks like they’ve finally started to get other people’s attention. Multiple girls are poking at Tucker’s finery, Sam looks to be arguing with some popular girls who took Paulina’s place after she graduated. Dash, Kwan and Dale slowly walking over while eyeballing Danny. “The Hell Fentit?”.

While Sam slips over, escaping the clutches of the younger A-Listers, “hey now, is that any way to talk to your future king”.

Dash scoffs, “Fenturd is no one’s king. What are you four pulling?”.

Danny laughs and pats Dash’s head, Dash goes to whack it away but goes through Danny’s intangible arm. Making Danny laugh even harder, smirking down at the stunned Dash, “I’m everyones king in death Dash. Well, if you become a ghost that is”.

Dale squeaks, “you’re a ghost!”.

Tucker tosses his arm around Danny as the two laugh, the jocks and girls changing to glaring at Tucker. Dash muttering, “what the hell”.  

Tucker chuckles, “naw he ain’t flat out dead. None of us are. Ghost royals all the same though”, plucking at his gold bracelets, “comes with plenty of positives I’d say”, before flicking sand at Danny, who flicks snow back.

Sam glares and shoves her head in between the two boys, “how dare you leave me out”.

Danny points at her as she flicks leaves at them, Danny speaking with a shit-eating grin, “we’d never leaf you out”.

Star slowly looks back to Valerie, “when the heck did you all acquire powers and what’s up with the king thing?”.

Valerie chuckles as Star and Brittney join her in leaning against the food tables, Valerie replying, “like I said no one noticing was getting annoying so we’re not even bothering to hide it anymore”.

Danny sticks his head close and smiles, “if you recall, there was a point in time where the trio went from just the losers three to the weirdo trio. Quite a time that was. Ghosts popping up all of the sudden. The mad man king of ghosts stealing our town into another dimension only to be defeated and dethroned. Only for a certain someone to find out they were the rightful heir to said throne”.

Tucker joins in, “dude yeah, crazy shit. And then the school goes on weird field trips only for another certain someone to find their look-alike in an ancient museum while some crazy evil ghost awakens. And then of course, as things always happen, turns out that look-alike is the rebirth of the ancient ghost pharaoh and thus heir to the throne”.

Sam smirks, “and who could forget the time this dumb town decided to destroy all the plant life only for some crazy powerful ghost lord of plants to turn everyone into mindless zombies and fertiliser. Only for said ghosts to pick a certain someone as their queen and mother to all plants. Before, obviously, getting defeated”.

Valerie shrugs and smirks at Star, “and then what certain someone turns out to be a freakishly skilled fighter and ghost hunter, and friends with the aforementioned certain someone’s. A certain someone who only needed to share their secrets to unlock the door to knighthood”.

All four grin while everyone around just gapes at them, everyone in the room having gone silent shortly after Danny had started speaking.

Dash blinks before blurting out, “that’s bullshit”.

Danny rolls his eyes and snickers, “is that the ‘how dare you do better in life than me’ kind of ‘that’s bullshit’ or the ‘you are lying’ kind of ‘that’s bullshit’?”.

Dash glares at him and crosses his arms, “the second Fentoad. You four are weird but that’s it”.

The four exchange glances and snicker.

Star shakes her head and puts on a smile, “well whatever, you’re all here so things can actually start now”.

Valerie raises an eyebrow while Danny asks, “wait what?”.

Star nods to someone and suddenly a banner drops down reading ‘Respect, Protect And Never Forget. The Defect Quartet!’, and the music starts up in genuine, playing weird intense songs that are decidedly not normally played at any dances. Balloons and streamers start going off all over the place; most people breaking out into erratic dance, everything from the monster mash to the creep. One person appears to be doing a mash-up of the chicken dance and cotton eye joe. Anyone not dancing wildly in the whirlwind of streamers and flashing lights is leaning against the gymnasium walls watching the chaos.

Danny makes a show of looking like he’s about to faint, “they love us, they really really love us! Catch me”, before going to fall over.

All three others speaking in unison, “no”, as Danny just collapses on the floor.

Sam points at Dash who just finished doing the wiggle, “don’t you jerks hate us?”.

Dash shrugs, “Danny’s the only one I could pummel that would still stand up to me. Not to mention he never seemed to actually get injured”.

Danny blinks and tilts his head, still laying on the ground, “you actually noticed that?”, laughing, “sweet Ancients someone did actually notice something!”.

A couple of people who were just standing around come up, “plus you four are basically a staple of the school and town”.

“Your bullshit is Amity Parks hazing ritual”.

“You’re our mascots”.

Danny flings himself up and yanks the other three in for a tight hug, “guess we have to frequently visit our mortal lair now! Haha! The mortals have accepted their fate!”, before dragging them all onto the dance floor and all four of them break into weird ghost dances. The most ridiculous or over the top ones they can think of.

Danny’s bouncing around on his palms, cape dragging all over the floor and surcoat folding over his face. Sam is stomping and swaying her hands through the air like she walking through vines and pretending to have a seizure. Tucker looks to be doing a version of the robot that involves swords, bracelets jangling loudly. Valerie looks like she’s fencing while doing ballet, occasionally clanging on her breastplate for the sound effect.

The four bursting into an erratic mock fight as Freaks by Timmy Trumpet comes on. People laughing and eventually joining in. Danny notes that even Mr. Lancer, Mr. Lewis, Mrs, Testlauf and Ms. Trent seem to join in.

Danny shimmies his way over to Mr. Lancer, who’s now panting, elbowing the teacher who’s now shorter than him, “thought y’all would get back at us by making things as weird as possible huh? Try to shock us for a change?”.

Mr. Lancer waves him off, “as some would say, ringing in the new year and your last one”, standing up fully, “and yet you all still managed to startle everyone. What even is this Daniel?”.

Danny laughs exaggeratedly, “y’all only have the tip of the iceberg on our oddness. Literally in my case”, Danny swishes his cape out, snow falling out of it, as Danny goes back to the dance floor,

While Mr. Lancer is extremely confused, and then startled by Valerie coming up from behind and stomping her feet; making a show of standing ridged before bending over in laughter. Patting Mr. Lancer’s shoulder as she stands, “Mr. Lancer, you really should have expected us, especially Danny, to pull some shit. Out weirding him is honestly impossible. But hey, that’s the High King of Ghosts for you”.

Mr. Lancer coughs, “what?”, while Valerie winks and walks off. Mr. Lancer looks around, Samantha’s lifting a teacup made out of a leaf with a vine, Tucker seems to have a magically appearing red carpet of bandaging appearing in front of his feet and Mr. Lancer’s pretty sure he sees brown snakes winding around him in places, Valerie seems to be showing off a green and red board sword - where did that even come from? - to Mia, and Daniel is seemingly hopping around and changing the colour of the floor every time he lands. Mr. Lancer is officially both in awe and fear of what this year is going to be like. Watching as the Defect Quartet, which he honestly thought was a pretty insulting name for the group, all collapse in a heap on the ground; Daniel throwing his cape over the other three dramatically like a large blanket, while the music quietens down.

Star and Kwan, the previous years' homecoming queen and king, take the stage. Star grabbing the mic, “okay now that we’ve had a chance to adjust to the strange and bizarre again. It’s time for this years homecoming king and queen!”.

Star waits for the cheering to stop, though some are booing too, expected honestly. Clapping her hands, “so the votes were cast by everyone as they entered, meaning!”, Kwan holds up two envelopes that Star points at, “we don’t even have to wait!”.

People cheer and hold up cups while Star opens a pink one and Kwan opens a blue one. Meanwhile, Sam mutters about gender roles, stereotypes and colours.

Star smiling down at the paper and lifting up her head, “the homecoming queen is...Valerie Gray!”.

Valerie sticks her arms out to the side speaking as people cheer, “the fuck? I’m only here, like, half the classes?!?”.  

Jesse elbows her above the metal, “but you have literally saved people's lives and not to mention basically taught everyone how to work ectoweapons”.  

While Kwan leans into the mic, grinning like an idiot, “and the homecoming king is...Danny Fenton”.

Sam, Tucker and Valerie slowly look to Danny with expressions of mock horror, while people cheer. Danny blinks once, twice, three times before going stiff and pitching sideways, laughing and shouting, “you poor innocent fools!”.

Valerie sighs and grabs Danny’s arm, pushing up his cape to do so, and drags him with her towards the stage. Danny points behind him at Sam and Tucker, “chant as we rise”.

Sam and Tucker shrug and start stomping their feet, “before the armies, start the chaos. ‘Cause these boring skies will be no more”.  

Dash snorts at Dale, “they are really going all-in on this act, aren’t they? Kind of makes me miss Highschool”.

“It’s only been a couple of months dude”.

While Danny bends forward to let Kwan awkwardly put the puffy homecoming king ‘crown’ over Danny’s actual crown. Valerie doing the same as Star tries to situate the tiara in between the horns. Star muttering at her, “this is absurd”. Making Valerie and Danny smirk.

Star and Kwan step to the side and bow at the crowd while Danny does silly hand waving; Valerie being more normal about it even if light is bouncing off her armour.

Star and Kwan hop down off the stage as Valerie grabs the mic and points at Danny, “the Zone were you all thinking putting him up here?”.

Multiple people shout at them about how they basically defined the town and school, were a vital part of the atmosphere and culture. And that Danny was basically the epicentre of it all.

Danny laughs and leans over the mic, looking at Valerie, “face it Val, I’m the perfect collection of blood, guts and other assorted candy store viscera”, before turning to the crowd, “Imma tell y’all a story. ‘Cause unholy guacamole, you have no clue”.

Valerie looks at him and snorts, “origin story time?”.

Danny just smirks before speaking, “you see, it was many years ago. Before you or I, but not really ‘cause I was here and so were most of you. I decided this reality wasn’t for me, space was always my shit. Hence why I get called space boy so much. Anyway, so I tried to aim for a better world. And then what happened? I accidentally opened a hole into the realm of the dead! And you know what I did? What I goddamn did? Waltzed in and screamed ‘Honey! I’m home!’”, clapping his hands before pointing them out at everyone, “and now I’m here with you fucks again, in a town known for its ghostliness. Which I am absolutely the epicentre, or whatever, for. So y’all want atmosphere, I’ll give ya atmosphere”, snapping his fingers making green mist appear in the air, “this year is going to be a dissection of weird for all to see!”, Danny leans against the podium, posture instantly becoming more serious, well sort of serious anyway, “but really, the lot of us genuinely debated whether to even stick ‘round Amity”, Danny laughs as multiple people gasp and some shout “no!” and “never leave us!”, most people just going along with the quartets dramatics at this point. Danny smirks as he continues, “this silly mortal plain can barely handle us, we are in league with the dead after all. But fuck it, this town’s dead enough for our asses and y’all clearly accept our shit”. Resulting in a bunch of cheering, even if most people are incredibly confused.

While Danny nods at Valerie to speak, letting her step up to the podium with a dramatic bow. Valerie chuckles and smiles at him before turning to the crowd, “so obviously I’m the least odd of the quartet. I’m also the only one that isn’t straight up accidental ghostly royalty”, Valerie shrugs, “up to you whether you believe any of us about our bullshit. But just keep in mind, we have been ‘away from town’ all summer. Take a good guess as to where. Anyway, let’s have a wild year and remember”, Valerie leans forward almost menacingly, metal wrist guards clanging on the podium, “this is your final chance to take us down”.

Danny throws his arm around Valerie, “and you call me ominous!”, turning to the crowd, “is our lives nothing but strange or just hard to believe? Question our behaviour but it’s never what you guess. So just let go of what you don’t know. You laugh at us and you laugh with us. But we can be anything you don’t want anyone to be”, snorting and laughing, “because we are humanities defects!”.

Valerie pushes him off the stage and grabs the mic, “he’s a drama queen, obviously”.

While multiple people whisper about how it seemed like the quartet are the ones who came up with their name, which honestly tracks.

Danny shouts from the ground, “KING!”, before springing up and adjusting the fake crown over top of his real one and smiling wide at everyone, “best boil my blood and gouge my eyes, for I’ll never learn to hold my tongue”.

Valerie shakes her head as she hops down from the stage, going with Danny for a dance, “you ominous bastard”.

Danny laughs as he takes her hand in his, “ah sweet sweet normalcy”.

While Tucker and Sam dance, snakes and vines weaving in a dance as well.

Mr. Lewis watches from the sidelines over the rim of a paper coffee cup, “you know, I thought aliens were the weirdest shit I was ever going to see”, shrugging, “but hey, at least no ones tried to kill me yet”.

While the defect quartet roamed the dance, confusing every person they talked to or stood next to or so much as looked at.  

End.

[callunavulgari]

TOP 25 FICS OF 2018

1. A Cornstalk Fiddle by @notbecauseofvictories | Devil Went Down To Georgia | The Devil/Johnny | 17k

Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.

Heather Says: So. I never thought that my favorite fic of the entire year would be a fic written about a song - and one that I don’t even particularly like - but here I am. I read this fic the same night that I finally broke down and watched Moonlight, and ended up listening to Moonlight’s End Credits and Hello Stranger by Barbara Lewis on repeat while I finished that first chapter on my back porch. This is that perfectly atmospheric fic that you’ll find maybe once every ten years and could probably sustain you on its memory for just as long.

2. Work of All Saints by @kaikamahine | Coco | Imelda/Hector/Ernesto | 210k

Imelda Rivera (b. 1899 - d. 1969), a story that includes but is not limited to: the finest music school this side of the Santo Domingo, three traveling musicians and the mess they made of love, the twice-cursed assassination of Venustiano Carranza, all the patron saints, and ninety-six ways a man can try to cross a bridge.

Heather Says: This story blew my entire mind. It was lovely, and tragic, and hilarious, and everything that a good novel should be. The parts of this fic that map out the unseen lives of Imelda, Hector, and Ernesto, that hidden backstory that a movie can only hint about, were exquisite to the point that I was afraid getting to the point where, well, they die, would be a letdown. It really wasn’t. If anything, the story managed to get richer as it went along, until suddenly you’re in a room sobbing into a pillow at four in the morning and have to be awake in four hours. No regrets.

3. Under the Covers by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 87k

Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates.

Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).

Heather Says: Under the Covers was the first Harringrove fic that actually kicked me over the edge from ‘eh this ship looks like it would have good hate sex’ and into full-fledged believer. It’s an intricately crafted look into the world of Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington post-season two and it is absolutely glorious.

4. Bloody Ruin by esama | Castlevania | Alucard/Trevor | 37k

Vampire hunter and a vampire try to get along.

Heather Says: Written before season two came out, this was one of those fics that I clicked on because the pairing interested me and I wanted to see how it worked. It did not disappoint, and even after I delved through the tag on ao3 after I marathoned season two, this is still my favorite.

5. a road less traveled and a life less led by Azzandra | Dishonored | Billie & The Outsider | 9k

She took him out of the Void, as promised. And then she kept him, she supposed.

Heather Says: You know all that fanart that started cropping up after Death of the Outsider came out? The ones where Billie and the Outsider crept around Dunwall or Karnaca stealing fish and safes and graffiti-ing buildings? The ones with that found family vibe? Yeah. This fic scratches the same itch that all that art did.

6. But I’m Not There Yet by sarahyyy | Yuri On Ice | Yuri/Otabek | 71k

“Are you not going to read the article?” she asks, flopping onto his bed. “Look who ranked second, just after Phichit Chulanont.”

Otabek reluctantly scrolls down, and oh. #2 - Yuri Plisetsky

In the embedded Instagram photo just under that subheading, a very grumpy Yuri is cuddling a very grumpy-looking cat. The caption reads: I found the cat version of me at the shelter today. #iknowisaidnomorecats #canyoublameme

Heather Says: And here, in the stupid cute category we have teenagers navigating love through social media. What’s more, there’s a companion fic.

7. flowers start to bloom in every different hue by orphan-account | Coraline | Coraline/Wybourn | 1k

Coraline grows up, gets a tattoo, and falls in love. In that order.

Heather Says: I read this fic on a slow day at work, often in quick bursts while I was waiting for the kitchen to finish my table’s food. It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s perfect. And honestly? It’s everything that I was looking for when I ventured into the Coraline tag on ao3 because I was curious.

8. Victory Conditions by @astolat | Transformers | Megatron/Optimus Prime | 37k

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” Megatron said mockingly. “You won’t like it, Prime. It’s not a very nice one.”

Heather Says: Fun fact, I’m not even in this fandom. I haven’t touched the Transformers fandom since the first movie came out in 2007 and I spent a very confusing week shipping a boy and his car. But Astolat has literally never lead me wrong, and I was having one of those bored days where nothing quite itches the right spot, so I sat down on the couch and spent two hours reading this. Worth it.

  9. just in it for the game by grim_lupine | Thor | Thor/Loki | 6k

“It's excellent rehabilitation for my image,” Loki says, widening his eyes. “They love you, and because of that they'll trust me. You wouldn't ruin this for me, would you?”

Thor glares at him.

Loki’s mouth twitches. “Also, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.”

Heather Says: The Thor/Loki bug never really bit me until after Ragnorak came out. I mean, sure, I read it and it was good, but hella’s Frostiron fics basically destroyed me for any other Loki pairing. HOWEVER. Ragnorak happened and screwed that all the way up. Also, you know, this fic is absolutely lovely and was just what the doctor ordered.

10. so this guy walks into a bar by MasterOfAllImagination | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 2.5k

“Bourbon,” Hermann says, hooking his cane on the edge of the bar and sliding by degrees onto a stool.

“Straight up?” the bartender asks.

“Please.” Does he look like the kind of man who enjoys having his nostrils fumigated by undiluted whiskey? “On the rocks.”

Heather Says: I coped with Pacific Rim 2 by reading a couple AUs and a couple very, very long fics full of tragedy and math. Weirdly, the AU of a chance meeting in a bar was the one that stuck.

11. cherry pie by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 133k

Billy Hargrove lives for summer. Endless sunshine, heavily chlorinated pools, roaming ice cream trucks, and unencumbered freedom? There’s nothing better.

Even being stuck in Hawkins can’t ruin the summer for him. He eats it up, devouring every day whole.

Heather Says: Yeah, okay, but this is the fic that made summer worth it. Highly recommend reading at the pool or with your feet hanging off the back porch. Every piece of this fic was dripping in summertime nostalgia. It was fan-freaking-tastic.

12. the ghost and the good queen val by Wildehack (tyleet) | Thor | Thor/Valkyrie/Loki | 27k

“What,” she says, her heart racing, “was that.”

“What was what?” Korg asks, frowning up at her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Valkyrie squints suspiciously at the ship.

“Oh my god,” Korg says. “You did! You saw a ghost!”

Heather Says: So, remember how I coped with Pacific Rim 2 with copious AUs? This is how I coped with Infinity War.

13. For Better or Worse by DragonBandit  | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 22k

All Damien ever wanted was someone who wanted him. All Damien deserves is to die alone, stripped bare of any of the comforts or affections of humanity, a title he willingly shed.

Mark Bryant seems to be the Universe's compromise.

Wherein Damien and Mark are soulmates, and this changes enough.

Heather Says: I think I’ve read this one three or four time this year? It’s 22k of well-written fic for a fandom that has a max of like 100 fics all with lengths that tend to vary between a couple hundred words to 2 or 3k, max. This fic is the one that really catapulted me into the fandom. 

14. in waves by @lymricks | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 38k

It’s March and it’s too cold for Billy to be shirtless and wearing shorts, but he hadn’t noticed until Harrington appeared and made him hold still. Harrington can’t seem to stop looking at the bruises. “What’s it to you if I miss a little school, Harrington?” Billy asks. He feels goosebumps rising on his skin.

“I don’t know,” Harrington snaps back, looking uncomfortable. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Plant your feet, Billy wants to scream at him. I’m going to bowl you over.

Heather Says: And here we have the first fic that wasn’t written by either @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger or @brawlite that made me realize that this fandom was gonna be a good one. So fantastic.

15. the cure by aquaexplicit | The Flash | Cisco/Harry | 43k

“I guess I don’t really get what you need to fix? Harrison Wells is a hot, rich genius that pays you to make cool stuff with his daughter and is totally into you. If you guys boning is the biggest problem you have, I think this officially qualifies as your best relationship ever.”

When Barry puts it like that, everything sounds so simple and not at all as angst ridden as Cisco has been suffering the past few months.

Cisco hangs up on him.

Heather Says: I remember a couple years ago, I fell absolutely head over heels for this one Sterek fic where Derek had twin toddlers and Stiles was the hired babysitter. So I think there’s something about dad + babysitter fics that get me, even if this one in particular the ‘baby’ in question is a fifteen year old genius. Still. Dad + babysitter. I don’t even know, but apparently it works for me.

16. pull out the insides by SpineAndSpite | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 3k

“Stop,” Damien says again, more insistent this time.

“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Mark's heart pounds in his ears and he sees Damien’s hands shaking. God. They shouldn’t have started talking about sex. Shouldn’t have filled in the colors and shadows to this pencil outline of a sketch forming between them. They shouldn’t have given it a name.

Heather Says: This year seems to have had a theme when it comes to fics that I’ve liked and it seems to boil down to: people who are bad for each other have sex and catch feelings. Mark/Damien is not the healthiest ship. But it also hurts in this stupidly tragic way and hell if I didn’t fall head over heels for it.

17. tell me, get my shit together by paperclipbitch | Star Wars | Han/Lando | 5k

“I thought we were actively avoiding each other after the Trandosha Shitshow,” Han says.

“We’re actively avoiding each other after the Iridonia Shitshow,” Lando corrects him, “the Trandosha Shitshow is That Which We Do Not Speak Of.”

Heather Says: So, guess what I did in the two to three hours after seeing Solo? If you guessed: ‘combed through ao3 until you ran out of fic’ ding ding ding, you are 100% correct. This one was very, very good, which makes sense, because paperclipbitch has some good shit.

18. chases, escapes, true love, miracles by pepperfield | The Flash | Cisco/Harry 55k

Just because the timeline has been restored, doesn't mean things are back to normal. Cisco's got 99 problems, and Harry Wells is approximately 38 of them.

In which Cisco makes a bunch of plans, fails most of them, narrowly avoids being disintegrated, receives a hug or two, finds his groove, and gets his man. More or less in that order.

Heather Says: This one was long and wibbly wobbly, because it was basically what season 3 should have been. But it was also really great, and had some super quality Harrisco interactions.

19. Your Pretty Little Heart by Ever-so-reylo | Star Wars | Reylo | 64k

Modern day AU in which Ben is an Alpha, Rey is an Omega, and they are way better at having sex than at communicating with each other.

Heather Says: Speaking of people who are probably a little bit bad for each other... This particular fic was new to me, not because of the um, extensive sexual content, but because I’m usually not a fan of A/B/O. But this one was extremely good, enough that I actually liked it for a/b/o aspect rather than in spite of it.

20. Draconia by perceived_nobility | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k

"So I was driving. One ex wife and one ex husband later, stopping at the same fucking gas stations you and I stopped at."

Heather Says: This fic actually prompted a 3 hour long conversation on the ‘adult’ Mark/Damien discord where we basically outlined an entire fic that I never got around to writing where Damien is raising a child, has a farm, and runs into Mark ten years down the ride. One day, I might write it, because vaguely domestic, meet-again-ten-years-down-the-road fics always bowl me right the fuck over and just. There needs to be more fic like this one in the world. But until then, the world can marvel at the beauty that is this one.

21. Artifice by buttpatrol | Wolf 359 | Hera/Eiffel | 23k

A story told in parts about colour palettes, identity, robot uprisings, sensational trials, space, and messy love.

Heather Says: As I’ve recently finished relistening to Wolf 359 I have a fresh appreciation for this fic, which is one of the only longer fics on ao3 that just grips you by the heart and squeezes the same way that the series does. It might have been written before the end of the series, but it’s honestly just as perfect.

22. (shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 93k

The most dangerous thing walking around Hawkins goes by the name Billy Hargrove.

And he fucking knows it.

Heather Says: I’m kind of cheating here, because this is a series rather than a single fic, but I’m not picking just one part. I read the first four or so parts of this fic when I was visiting my family in South Carolina and spent the next few days wandering around the place half-in Steve Harrington’s headspace. It was an incredibly surreal experience, which lead to a pretty strong combination of mania, depression, and an indescribable craving for ice cream. So like, maybe don’t read this fic if you’re in a bad head space? But also it’s very good and features one of the most fucked up and intriguing Steve’s that I’ve seen yet.

23. Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya | Yuri On Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | 197k

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

Heather Says: I actually read this one on the plane ride down to South Carolina, and kind of didn’t like it at first? I’m not sure if it was just the act of putting Yuuri and Victor into the position of rivals that made me uncomfortable or the goddamn delays that turned half a day of travelling into a full one, but eventually I was able to get into and enjoyed it quite a bit. I really like the rivals to lovers trope, so I’d been looking forward to this one a lot.

24. Traveling Far by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne | 24k

Three weeks into their delightful slog across Westeros, during yet another charming day of shitting in the woods, eating half-raw squirrel, and trudging his feet bloody, the single most dour and uninteresting woman Jaime had ever met in all of Westeros stopped in the middle of a field, drew a deep breath, and said, “When I was seven, my aunt came to visit with her son. My father told me that as the daughter of the house, it was my duty to show hospitality to my guests and to be gracious to them. I wanted to make him proud. So for three weeks, I let my cousin follow me around and talk to me about spiders.”

Heather Says: I’ve become very fond of astolat’s Jaime/Brienne fics, and I think this one is my favorite yet. Featuring Starks, found family, and a whole lot of walking.

25. lilies of the valley (cover me with kisses, make my garden grow) by diasterisms | Star Wars | Reylo | 8k

Every girl is entitled to the mistake. That one colossal fuck-up that permanently alters the terrain of who you are. You'll either learn from it or you won't, so might as well have the time of your life.

Heather Says: I just. I really like flower shop AUs, and the idea of a Kylo Ren who owns a sleek flower shop being menaced by a tiny gremlin in a leather jacket just. Kills me. It was really sweet and all kinds of wonderful.

[medicalinsurgency-blog]

Masks (or, Why Danger Days is Relevant and Really Fucking Deep)

[I wrote this a while ago, but I stumbled across something that talked about a similar thing and I remembered I never posted this. Please let me know what you think.]

Masks are all over the Danger Days universe. The Killjoys wear personal customized masks. The workers at Better Living wear those weird hoods with the smiley-face logo on them that makes them an ultimate symbol of a homogenized workforce. And the Draculoids are defined by their masks, and the implications of that are criminally ignored in the fandom. Mousekat is something Party Poison appropriated from a BLI kid’s TV show, but later gets stolen back by the Director.

There weren’t really any masks prominently featured in any previous albums, and masks by definition hide your face and therefore your identity and emotions. There’s got to be something there.

Bear with me and I’ll give you the rundown on my interpretation.

The Original Killjoys and Masks:

Masks hide your face. I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as getting rid of an old identity. But my personal interpretation is more like repressing your emotions or hiding who you are or some aspect of yourself in order to cope or adapt to your current situation.

In the comics, the new generation of Killjoys really embraced the mask thing. Have you noticed Val wears his a lot? Also notice when he wears it. The more violent and radical he gets, the more he wears it. The Vs seem to embody the spirit of the old Killjoys but with none of the heart or soul. I started to see the masks as this bastardized symbolism that was misinterpreted. Consequently, bastardization of symbolism was a theme Gerard talked a lot about in interviews about Danger Days (mostly the whole vampire look being commercialized and also misinterpreted).

The Girl tries to get Party’s mask (which may or may not have been implied to be a fake or replica, as evidenced from the vending machine ads in the comics) but Val wants it too. He’s more interested in the power and symbolism the mask holds than the memory of the person who was once behind it.

Drac Masks and Forced Fear:

No one in the bandom really talks about that fucking loaded symbolism of the Drac masks. I’ve seen some people think that it’s reversible. It’s implied that it isn’t. (it is eventually reversed in the end, but that involved some magic-shit with a spiritual bomb releasing souls, so it doesn’t happen easily.) It seems to be a “fate-worse-than-death” type-thing, as we saw Madam Director threatening Korse with it.

I know that what exactly the masks do is just one panel of the comics, but they essentially turn you insane because you see everyone and everything as a threat. They destroy your soul with fear. They make you hurt those you love because they force you to be afraid of them. BLI uses fear as a form of power, just like many governments (past and present) have. They create an ideologically homogenous group of people, terrified and ready to hurt, kill, and obey orders.

Mob Mentality and the Younger Killjoys:

The only difference between the Dracs and the mob mentality of the (younger) Killjoys is that they run on over-zealous corrupted idealism, like that obnoxious kid in your class who read Nietzsche once and now thinks he’s better than everyone and tries to turn every conversation into how government/religion/society is the Ultimate Pointless Evil ™. (Bonus points if they keep asking “yes but is ANYTHING REAL????”) There’s an interview where Gerard compares the Vs to a bunch of teenagers who watched A Clockwork Orange and got the wrong message, and that feels pretty accurate. Oh, except Val grew up in a violent and unstable environment and is so paranoid he kills first and asks questions… never, really.

In a crowd, you have relative anonymity and heightened confidence in your actions from the people around you. But you also may do things you would never dream of outside of that crowd. (Side note: this is why that particular aspect of psychology/sociology terrifies me like nothing else. Also, see “Teenagers” for G’s view on youth mob mentality.) It doesn’t just dehumanize you to yourself, though. It dehumanizes you to others. If you can’t see someone’s face, you can’t interact with them, or know how they feel, or empathize with them.

The Girl and Restoration of Humanity:

So the world’s all going to hell in a handbasket made of tumbleweeds and a Drac mask, right?

“Thanks, Sarah, I love having no hope!”

Wait a second, bear with me:

Did you notice how The Girl doesn’t have a mask?

I mostly interpret this as her being too young. She’s not indoctrinated with the same ideology of the zones youth yet, nor under control of the corporation. There’s a certain innocence to childhood but also a kind of wisdom. Kids haven’t incorporated various societal ideas into their subconscious yet. They’re still processing and questioning things inherently. The Girl questions things and makes her own decisions. When she learns to shoot, she gets a makeover and joins the fight. But she doesn’t make a mask like you might expect. She chooses not to.

(Side note: I often view The Girl and Val as proxies for us. Val is who G worries we might become, and The Girl is who he hopes we might be. Yeah, that’s right: G thinks you can save the world. Don’t forget that.)

This actually parallels to the original Killjoys (and their pre-bastardized ideology). In Na Na Na, Party Poison has, like, four different ways of covering his face. The other three have at least two if I remember correctly. “Die with your mask on if you’ve got to” says Dr. D. Right? Well… not quite. In Sing they aren’t wearing masks. They face the enemy head-on. They’re not hiding from BLI or themselves. They decide to be nothing more but nothing less than who they are.

In the ending of the comics, The Girl restores all the souls to the people who’ve been Drac’d. The Drac masks come off. They are themselves again. But the masks also come off the young mob of Killjoys. Everyone who was about to slaughter each other looks around and starts seeing former enemies as individuals, realizing that they are all humans. They’re not just threats. With the masks off, they are people who fear and cry and fight and love. (Side note: this very similar to the ending of “V for Vendetta”. Worth checking out if you’re curious.)

Yes, the ending might have been rushed or weird or abstract. But here’s the thing: G had all the power of a writer—a god in his own world—and he didn’t bring dead people back to life, like we all would have wanted. We must move forward and make the best of what we have.

I think this is because he knows that we can’t go back in time to fix things. Cherri never got over his guilt at not going with the original killjoys on their rescue mission and letting them die alone. But he eventually decides to fight again to protect The Girl. By doing so, he symbolizes finally letting go of his past in order to try to protect the future. 

By having the masks come off, Gerard wrote and ending where, instead of bringing life back to the dead, he brought living people back to humanity.

Please take a minute to let that sink in.

For all the nihilism of a post-apocalyptic world where “the good guys die and the bad guys win” the ultimate ending is hope for the seemingly impossible: that we will stop fearing and hating each other.

So take a deep breath. Think for yourself. Think about other people as individuals. Break the mob mentality.

Take off you mask.

[supernatural-jackles]

Apple Pie Life

Title: Apple Pie Life

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,858

Warnings: Douchebag boyfriend, Fluff

Summary: The Reader gets stood up by her boyfriend, only to have a cafe worker come out and rescue her, taking her out instead.

A/N: This is my extremely late submission for @ravengirl94 1.5k Challenge. My prompt was “Wait...is this a date?” Feedback is greatly appreciated. Happy Reading!

Oh and... HAPPY AUTUMN!!

x

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Forty five minutes.

 Forty five whole minutes had passed by and you were still waiting on the corner of the street, your head flicking back, left and right, hoping to see some sign of the man you were waiting for. No call. No text. Just you standing on the corner, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

 You had spent an hour getting ready for this date. You had straightened your hair, pulling back a few pieces in the front and pinned it back to give you a different look. You spend hours trying to pick out the perfect outfit to wear, settling on your favourite jeans, a pair of knee high socks and your favourite boots that were perfect for any outdoor event. You had your favourite jacket on that made you look amazing and a flannel underneath. Your makeup was damn near perfect. It was all for nothing.

 You sent off another text message, adding a sixth in the last forty five minutes. At this point, you had given up all hope. This was supposed to be a good day. This was supposed to repair your relationship and give you both a fresh start. Now it seemed like he didn’t even want to try. You wasted your time in effort for a man who would never ever give you his time. Again.

 Tears welled in your eyes as the minute turned from forty-nine to fifty. You were such an idiot. He wasn’t going to show and you knew that you were only humiliating yourself further by standing on the corner. You were constantly waiting for something that just wasn’t going to happen. It seemed to be how your life was going.

 You swallowed hard, shoving your phone in your back pocket. You were done. This wasn’t how you wanted to spend your day.

 “Excuse me, miss?” you heard someone call from behind you. It couldn’t be directed at you so you didn’t bother to look back. When you felt a hand grasp your wrist, you frowned. You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding before turning around.

 Your eyes met with a pair of breathtaking green ones that turned your frown into a small smile. You had never laid eyes on this man before but thank god you had now. He had freckles dusting over his nose and soft, pink plump lips. He hadn’t shaved in a day or two. He was the most handsome man you had met in a while. But what did this stranger want from you? There was no way he’d ever go for a girl like you. You were always a last pick. He could have any girl he even remotely winked at.

 “You must have the wrong person, mister,” your smile fell as you said it.

 “No. I don’t,” he answered you. He handed you a medium sized cup with a sleeve covering the middle of it. You furrowed your brows. “It’s a little cooler out today. I work at the cafe here and I saw you standing out here, figured you could use something to warm you up. It’s apple cinnamon tea. I hope that’s okay.”

 “Thank you,” you said softly. “You didn’t have to do that.”

 “I know. But like I said, I saw you standing out here and you look like you’re having a bit of a rough day.”

 “Nah,” you shook your head. “Just gotta stop thinking things are going to work out for me is all.”

 “Were you waiting for someone?” he raised his almost perfectly shaped eyebrow.

 “My boyfriend,” you swallowed. “Well, he was my boyfriend anyways. We had a date planned for today to go apple picking since it’s the perfect time of year. For weeks now and as you can see, he stood me up. Not the first time.”

 “Guy sounds like a real jerk,” he stated.

 “Yeah, he is. I should have known he wouldn’t show up. But here I am anyways,” you let out a dry laugh. You cast your eyes downwards. It was bad enough that you were standing out on a corner for an hour by yourself, but having someone see you stand there the whole time and feel bad for you was the cherry on top.

 “Can’t understand why. I mean, you’re beautiful, and I mean that in the ‘I’m not a creep’ kind of way,” he smiled kindly. “You deserve better.”

 “Thank you,” you said sincerely. “I should probably go. This is already embarrassing enough and even more that someone noticed. Thank you for the tea, stranger.”

 “Do you still want to go apple picking?” he asked you. You looked up at him in confusion. Was this guy really asking if you still wanted to go? You were dumbfounded. This guy was sure to have other plans with his girlfriend. The last thing he should be doing is talking to someone like you.

 “Of course I do. But I’ll go another time,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders.

 “I just got off work and I’m free for the rest of the day. I like apple picking and I could always use them to make apple pie later. If you’ll have me?” he suggested. Your mouth went dry and you swore your heart skipped a beat. Was this guy really asking you if he could come with you? Did he really want to waste his afternoon with a sad girl? It would be incredibly stupid of you to deny yourself of this opportunity. After all, this guy was the most attractive guy you had ever laid eyes on, let alone had a casual conversation with. What was the harm in apple picking with him?

 “I have one condition,” you stated, standing tall, trying to gain some confidence.

 “Sure, anything.”

 “If we’re going to go anywhere together, I’m going to need to know your name. Calling you stranger really isn’t working for me,” you smiled.

 “Of course,” he chuckled, his right hand reached up and rubbed the short hairs on the back of his neck. “I’m Dean.”

 “Nice to officially meet you, Dean,” you repressed your grin, “I’m Y/N.”

 “Well, Y/N. We’ve got some apples to pick this afternoon. Shall we?”

 “Let’s go.”

 Dean held out his hand for you to take and for a moment, you were unsure of what to do. You had no idea who this man really was, other than his name and that he worked at the cafe. He was unbelievably kind to you and that was something that no one had ever really shown you. So you slipped your hand in his, linking your fingers in with his. Taking the chance.

 He lead you over to the park where he claimed he parked his car. It was a fairly long walk to the orchard from the downtown cafe. He walked up to his car, which you soon found out was a ‘67 chevy impala in fantastic condition. He opened the door to the passengers side, holding it for you to climb in before he circled the car, hopping in himself.

 The roar of the car was beautiful, just like the car was. Dean had classic rock playing softly in the background as he drove the busy main roads to the apple orchard a few blocks over. The ride over was filled with silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable by any means. You didn’t really know what to say to the man. He had just found you in near tears on the sidewalk. He knew that you had a shitty ass boyfriend and now he was taking pity on you.

 He pulled into the orchard, parking in one of the spots near the entrance. Hay bales were stacked around the entrance, welcoming everyone to come in and pick some apples and enjoy the other festivities that the farm offered. You and Dean climbed out of the car at the same time. This time you didn’t walk hand in hand, but in close proximity of each other.

 It wasn’t as busy as you expected it to be and a part of you was happy about that. Dean grabbed the two of you baskets before you headed out into the orchard together. It was a beautiful day to be apple picking. The temperature was a little cool, along with the breeze coming from the north. Your jacket was keeping you just warm enough but your hair was going to be ruined the longer you were outside. It didn’t matter now.

 “So what’s a girl like you still doin’ with a guy that stands you up?” he questioned, bumping your arm with his as you walked down the empty row of trees.

 “Honestly, I’m not even sure. This date was supposed to be time for us to spend together and repair things but I spend more time upset, waiting around for him when I know deep down that he’s not going to be there. He hasn’t been here for me for a while and I guess I’m afraid of being completely alone,” you told him out of nowhere. Why were you telling a complete stranger your inner thoughts?

 “Sounds like you’d be better off without him. He’s not worth the heartache, Y/N,” he assured you.

 “That’s really nice of you to say but you know nothing about me, Dean. I’m the sad girl you felt bad for so you’re spending the afternoon with instead of going home to relax and do whatever it is you do,” you smiled weakly.

 “That’s not true. I want to be here with you. You’re the sad girl who has a jerk for a boyfriend and deserves to have someone make her smile for a little while before she goes home and feels horrible about herself because a guy made her feel that way. You’re right, I know nothing about you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know more.”

 You were taken back at his words. He was honest, and there was no hint in his eyes to tell you otherwise. This guy was different to any of the guys you had met before. He wasn’t sugarcoating anything or trying to make you feel bad or embarrassed in anyway. It was refreshing.

 You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and you instantly reached for it. Your boyfriend’s name spread across the screen and you couldn’t wait to see what excuse he came up with this time.

 “Excuse me for just one second,” you said apologetically. Dean took your tea from your hand, allowing you to step away. You didn’t venture too far away from him. You pressed the answer button, pressing your phone to your ear.

 “Y/N, baby! I’m so sorry!” Chris said instantly and you almost wanted to roll your eyes. “I forgot we had plans for today and I didn’t have my phone on me. I’m so sorry!”

 “Whatever Chris,” you snarled. “Where were you?”

 “What?”

 “I said, where were you? I mean, you have your phone on you twenty-four, seven. Where were you exactly Chris?”

 “Baby, what did we say about trusting each other. I thought we were passed that whole insecure thing,” he avoided.

 “Chris, just tell me where you were. It shouldn’t be hard to answer that simple question,” you mentioned. You were growing angrier the more he avoided the question.

 “I was just at a friends house. Like I said, I forgot we had plans. We can always make other ones. I mean it apple picking is kind of a stupid date anyways. Let me take you out to that new all you can eat buffet that just opened up. I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he suggested.

 “No. I’m done. We’re done. I’m not putting up with your bullshit and your stupid excuses. I deserve better than this. So go fuck that girl you were doing earlier because I don’t care. Go straight to hell for all I care. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another guy waiting to take me apple picking.” You hung up the phone, shoving it in your back pocket once more. A single tear had slipped down your cheek, but you were quick to wipe it away. You took a deep breath before turning back to face Dean. You could see the sad look on his face and you knew that he had more than likely heard a good portion of the conversation.

 “You okay?” he asked you, tilting his head to the side.

 “Not really,” you let out a dry laugh, “but like you said, I can smile for a little while before I go home feeling horrible.”

 “Well, let’s go pick some of the best apples you’ve ever seen, and we’ll go from there,” he smiled. “And for the record, you don’t deserve to feel horrible because of him.”

 “Nothing a bottle of whiskey won’t fix,” you joked.

 “That’s right!”

 Dean walked ahead of you a few steps, making his way to a big tree near the edge of the property. The apples on it were huge and looked fairly ripe. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face, even if you tried. Dean was so excited to get there he was practically running.

 The two of you picked a few off the tree, most of them not within reach. You headed down a path, leading to other trees that were slightly smaller than the one from before. You took a sip of your still warm tea, the feeling of it going down your throat was enough to warm you up. Dean had already been kinder to you in the half hour that he had known you than Chris had ever been in the time you were together.

 “So Dean, I take it you don’t have a girlfriend then?” you half questioned.

 He let out a laugh, his smile spreading across his cheeks. “No, I don’t. I haven’t had a girlfriend for a while now. It kinda ended like yours did. It just wasn’t meant to be and I accepted that as soon as I realized that I was happier without her.”

 “Well, I guess I’m glad. I wouldn’t have had you rescue me from further embarrassment on the street corner,” you joked.

 “Exactly!” he chuckled. “So what do you do anyways?”

 “I am actually a stripper,” you giggled. “I’m kidding. I’m actually a receptionist at the local law firm, and I’m a bartender on the side.”

 “Oh really! So you know Sam Winchester,” he chimed in.

 “Yes! I’m actually his receptionist. He’s the top lawyer there,” you told him.

 “He’s my brother.”

 “Really! Wow! Small world,” you said. “Sam’s awesome to work for.”

 You lead Dean over to a bigger tree with the branches hanging a little lower so you both could reach. One after the other went in both of your baskets until they were almost full. You could barely lift yours because the weight was so heavy and that only made Dean laugh at you. You could barely contain your laughter with his being so contagious. Dean looked handsome when he laughed. The way he threw his whole body into it, and it was always so full. It made you smile.

 You couldn’t deny how much you enjoyed being around him in the very short amount of time you spent with him. He never failed to make you feel like he wanted to be there with you. He knew you were hurting inside but he did his best to try and make your smile. It was safe to say you had developed a serious crush on the man. And even though you had just gotten out of a relationship, you definitely wouldn’t mind getting back in another one if that guy was Dean.

 “Okay Dean, there is a really big apple up there and I know I can’t reach but you might be able to. You’re tall,” you giggled as you pointed up at the apple. Dean stood next to you, trying to reach for the apple but no avail. It was too high for him to reach.

 “Okay, hop on my back and you should be able to reach it,” he told you. You nodded your head, circling around his body. Gripping his shoulders, you jumped, landing successfully on his back. He held onto you as your reached up, stretching your arm up as far as you could to reach the apple. You managed to grab it, bringing it down to eye level as you let out a cheer.

 “You got it?” he asked.

 “I got it. A big, nice, perfect- oh my god there is a worm in it!” you screamed, throwing the apple as far as you could. In the process, Dean lost his footing and stumbled forward, landing on the ground with you on top of him.

 “I’m sorry, Dean. Are you okay?” you questioned, rolling off of him.

 “Yeah, I’m all good. You good?”

 “Yeah, I landed on you, remember?” you let out a laugh. Dean sat up with you on the grass, his arms holding his knees up to his chest.

 “We should probably pay for these and head out. It feels like it’s getting colder and you’ve been outside for a while. You could probably use another tea and some apple pie or something,” he broke the silence.

 “That sounds like a great idea.”

 You and Dean walked with your baskets filled with apples towards the barn to pay for them. Your hands were growing cold but you knew soon enough you’d be back in your apartment, and you could change into your pajamas and sit in the silence.

 “Looks like you two had a successful time. These apples are going to make some great apple pie,” the lady at the checkout smiled.

 “What can I say. Apple pie is a classic, definitely one of my favourites,” Dean told her.

 “Alright for both of your baskets it comes to fifteen dollars,” she requested. Before you could even reach for your wallet, Dean handed her a twenty. You didn’t want to protest, not in public. She poured the apples into two bags and handed them over to both of you, wishing you a nice day. As you were walking away, Dean’s hand slipped into yours, his fingers linking with yours. It felt amazing to have his hand in yours. He brought warmth to yours as you walked through the exit towards the car.

 You climbed in the car, Dean placing the apples in the backseat before hopping in next to you. He sat in the front seat in silence, staring at his lap for a moment. You furrowed your brows, waiting for him to move or do something.

 “So you wouldn’t happen to be interested in coming back to my place to make a pie with me, would you?” he asked you, finally daring to look up at you.

 “Wait… is this a date?” you cocked your eyebrow with a smile. “Are you asking me on a date?”

 “No! Maybe,” he stuttered, “Yes, okay.”

 “This isn’t because you know I’m going to go home and feel bad about myself is it?”

 “Nope. I just kinda wanna spend some more time with you,” he admitted.

 “Well then take me to your place.”

 Dean drove down the quieter streets of the town, heading back to his apartment. He told you it wasn’t too far from the cafe he worked it, as he told you. You were excited to head back to his apartment and see where exactly he lived. This guy actually wanted to spend time with you which was a huge first for you. You didn’t want to get your hopes up but you were going to take what you could get.

 He pulled into his apartment complex, parking his car in front of the building. You both climbed out of the car at the same time. Dean grabbed both bags of apples before walking with you through the front door. You walked up two flights of stairs and his apartment was at the end of the hall.

 It was nothing out of the ordinary. You knew he lived alone in an instant. It was small but comfortable and you instantly liked it. It was homey feeling. Dean placed the apples on the counter, along with his keys. He shrugged off his jacket and threw it over one of the stools in the kitchen. You followed suit, leaving you in your flannel shirt.

 You worked around each other like you had a million times before. You washed, peeled and sliced the apples while Dean worked on the pie crust. He told you that when he was little, he and his mom would bake pie on a Sunday afternoon together and that’s how he became so good at making them.

 “So I’m guessing you spent a lot of time with your parents growing up?” you asked him.

 “Actually no. My mom and dad died in a car accident when I was ten. My brother and I grew up living with our uncle,” he said lowly.

 “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you apologized instantly.

 “No, don’t be.”

 “My parents are dead too. My mom died when I was three and my dad when I was eighteen. But hey, we both turned out pretty great didn’t we?”

 You placed the sliced apples in the pie while Dean put the cinnamon in along with it. He placed the topping on it, perfecting it with a few holes before putting it in the oven.

 A silence fell over the two of you the second he placed the timer. It felt awkward but at the same time it wasn’t. You were still complete strangers, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to know everything there was about him.

 “I don’t want to overstep any boundaries here, but is there any chance you’d like to go out with me again? I mean sure this is kind of a date, but would you be opposed to me taking you to dinner sometime?” he asked you. You could tell he was nervous about it, but you on the other hand. Your heart began to race in your chest. He actually wanted to spend more time with you? This had to be a dream.

 “I would love to go to dinner with you,” you answered with a smile spread widely across your cheeks. He took a couple of steps, growing closer to you. There it was again. Your heart beating faster in your chest. His hands reached for your waist, pulling you closer to him. You knew exactly where this was going and quite frankly you couldn’t wait any longer. You glanced up at him, meeting him halfway in a soft, sweet kiss that made your stomach do flips. Never, had you ever felt this before in a kiss.

 “Thank god you said yes,” he breathed out.

 “Well, we’ve got about half an hour until the pie is done. Why not continue this on the couch over there?” you winked.

 There was no way you were going home feeling horrible about yourself after him. Dean Winchester was a different kind of man alright.

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[wilderwestqueen]

You’re Everything I Want (And Nothing I Can Keep) - Chapter Eighteen

“Prove it. Bring her along this weekend, and prove it to everyone.” After a little white lie, Hiccup has to do something drastic to avoid embarrassing himself at a family reunion. Lost for any other ideas, Hiccup asks his best friend to pretend to be his girlfriend, just for a day. What could possibly go wrong?

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(fanfic.net) (ao3)

One Hell Of A Speech

The morning of the wedding dawned with sun streaming through Hiccup's windows, and he found himself gently and pleasantly roused from sleep just a few minutes before his alarm. As he put on his prosthetic, he resolved to himself that today would be different. He was not going to ruin Stoick and Val's day by moping around. He'd made his mistakes, and he was dealing with them, and he was going to act on this day like the good son he was: thrilled and excited to see his parents finally tying the knot.

Downstairs was less serene than his room had been. Despite the early hour, the house was already in turmoil. All of Val's female friends had showed up to help her get ready for the day, and when Hiccup stumbled down the stairs, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, it seemed like half the town was parading through the house like a horde of elephants.

"Hiccup!" one of them chided, as he hopped down from the last step, "have you only just woken up? It's been mad down here, boy, mad. Take these to your mother, she's in the living room!"

She shoved a bouquet of flowers at Hiccup's chest, and he fumbled to catch them, taking a moment to decipher what the woman had just said to him.

"Okay," he mumbled, to the woman who had already left the room, and navigated his way through the house to the living room.

Val was sitting in the eye of the storm, the only woman there not in a panic. She sat on a chair, a woman behind her brushing her hair out in broad strokes, twisting some of it around in a way that almost made Hiccup wince. Val's eyes lit up when she saw Hiccup coming towards her, and a grin spread across her face.

"Hello!" she said, her eyes shining. "Nice to see you awake. Are those for me?"

"Yeah," Hiccup said, and handed them to her. "A mysterious woman shoved them at me when I came down the stairs." Hiccup looked around the house as if he'd only just noticed the people that had taken over their home. "Actually, now that I think about it, the whole house is filled with strange women. Where's Dad?"

A smile tugged at the edge of Val's lips. "I've been told very seriously that I'm not allowed to see him until I'm at the altar. Rather silly, really."

The hair stylist frowned. "She's impossible," she said, addressing Hiccup. "I've already caught her trying to sneak Stoick in around the back, more than once. Don't you know it's bad luck?"

"Luck is for people younger than me," Val said. "And it's not like I haven't been living with the man for over twenty years. What could possibly go wrong at this point?"

"She's got a point," Hiccup said. The stylist glared at him.

"You couldn't just check on your father, would you? Make sure that Gobber hasn't got into as much of a fuss as everyone here has, you know how he is," Val said.

"No problem," Hiccup said. "I'll bring him around the other entrance, where no one will see him."

"You will not!" the hair stylist snapped, and she sounded so scandalised that both Hiccup and Val burst into laughter.

The woman made a hmph sound, and Hiccup and Val smothered their giggles, their eyes meeting as they covered their grins with their hands.

"Good luck, Mum," Hiccup said, as they finally stopped laughing. "I'll see you later."

"I don't need luck," Val said, her eyes shining. "All I need is you and your father."

Hiccup accepted a kiss on the cheek from his mother - "Don't smudge your make-up!" the stylist screamed - and then headed off out towards Gobber's house.

Gobber's house was the same, if not worse, as the Haddock home had been.

Instead of a dozen panicked women running around the house and gabbling about things not being sorted, Gobber was the one panicking, hopping around the place and talking a mile a minute about how they were not going to be ready in time.

"You're going to be late, Stoick, late!"

"The service isn't until two."

"You have to be there early. If you're not waiting at the altar you'll ruin the whole thing," Gobber cried. "Now, where are your cufflinks?!"

"You took them away from me to put them somewhere safe," Stoick said, gruffly.

When he saw Hiccup enter, he looked up at his son pleadingly. "Help me," he said. "Gobber's gone mad."

Hiccup clapped his hands on Gobber's shoulder to stop him from frantically running back and forth. "It's all going to be fine, Gobber," he said. "There's no need to rush. It's only eight in the morning. You've got plenty of time."

"That's what you think," Gobber said, "but in the blink of an eye eight in the morning will become one o'clock in the afternoon and then you will all be the ones panicking."

Stoick's eyes met Hiccup's, and he gestured at Gobber and then at the door. Hiccup got the message.

"So, hey, Gobber, I've just seen my mother," Hiccup said, "it's all a bit hectic down there. She sent me to make sure it was all good on this end. You couldn't just go there and calm everything down there, could you? I'll hold down the fort here."

Gobber stopped moving and jabbed a thumb in Hiccup's direction. "You better make sure that he doesn't leave the house. He's already tried to give me the slip twice. Don't take your eyes off him."

Then he sashayed backwards out the room, keeping his eyes narrowed on the two of them as he disappeared outside.

"Is it too late to elope?" Stoick deadpanned.

Hiccup tipped his head back and laughed. "He's just excited, Dad. Everyone is. It's going to be the event of the season."

He watched as his father fussed with his bow tie in the mirror, messing with it this way and that, and then finally letting it drop to the floor in disgust. "This is ridiculous," his father said. "I should just go in jeans and a t-shirt."

"Gobber wouldn't let you," Hiccup said, bending down and sweeping the bow-tie up into his hands. "C'mere."

He swiftly looped the tie back around his neck and began tying it in front.

"Never understood how these blasted things work," Stoick grumbled.

"It's not too bad once you've learnt how," Hiccup said. "So, you nervous?"

"Hardly," his father said, drumming his fingers against his trouser leg. "It's been a long time coming. We should've done it long ago."

"Why didn't you?" Hiccup asked, and when he didn't get an answer, he looked up to where his father was looking down at him, thoughtfully. "It's just that I don't think I've ever asked. You've had all this time. Why now?"

"It was never the right time when we were young. We were busy people," Stoick said, "a wedding is a lot of planning, a lot of time, a lot of money. We decided to wait until we had all that time, and all that money. And then we had you, and of course, we didn't want to do it when you were a baby, that would have been too much stress. I think we both agreed that we wanted to do it when you were older. And then I guess it just passed us by. There was always a reason not to. We didn't want to throw a wedding while you were recovering from your accident, that wouldn't have been fair on you. And we didn't want to do it while you were away at university. There was always something."

"So why now?" Hiccup asked, as he set Stoick's bow-tie into place.

Stoick thought to himself for a moment, pressing his lips together. "One day, I woke up and realised that there wasn't much else I wanted in my life. Everything was close to perfect, and the one thing that would have been the cherry on top of everything would be getting to finally, officially call your mother my wife."

"Well," Hiccup said, with a grin. "Today's the day. Are you ready for this?"

Stoick smiled down at his son. "Ready like I've never been for anything else in my life."

The church had been done up beautifully. All of their work over the past month had paid off, and as Hiccup followed his father down to the church, he found himself thinking about Astrid for the first time that day. Something clenched in his stomach. The day was almost, almost perfect. His mother was beautiful, his father was as gruff as ever, and they were finally getting married like they were always supposed to, and yet somehow, something felt missing.

Without meaning to, Astrid had managed to carve out a place for herself amongst the Haddock family, and although it hadn't really been real, it felt overwhelmingly odd for her not to be there. She'd made a place for herself in the family and in his heart, and somehow, she'd become the missing puzzle piece to what would have made this day perfect.

The ceremony went off without a hitch. Neither Val nor Stoick were late, and when Val stepped regally up the aisle, her arm linked through Gobber's, Stoick actually shed a little tear. The vows were simple; after years of living together, there wasn't much more that they needed to say. As much of a Haddock whole island extravaganza this was, the event itself was rather simple. It was just solidifying an unspoken promise that the two had made between each other, long ago.

The congregation floated into the reception flawlessly, and Hiccup took his seat at the top table, his father on one side and Old Wrinkly on the other. The day felt sharply bittersweet; on one hand, Hiccup was blissfully happy that his parents had finally made their union official. Not only was it the start of something new, but it marked the moment that the relationship between him and his parents had begun to heal. There had been a hole in his heart for so long, and that hole was finally stitching itself back together.

If only he hadn't ripped a hole elsewhere.

As he listened to Gobber give a speech, set to raucous laughter from the audience, and from his parents, Hiccup felt himself frown. Astrid was meant to be here.

Old Wrinkly nudged him with his elbow.

"You alright, Hiccup?" he muttered.

His eyes flickered upwards, towards where Gobber was doing a spot-on impression of Stoick, leaving everyone in stitches.

"I'm fine," he said, and it was only half a lie.

Old Wrinkly sighed. "What did I tell you about sleeping on sofas, boy?" he said, before his features softened. "She'll forgive you."

"Impossible after the things I said to her."

"Improbable, Hiccup, not impossible."

"That," Hiccup said, as he looked up into Old Wrinkly's eyes, "does not make feel any better."

But he found himself smiling.

He turned his head back to listen to his speech, and found Alvin the Treacherous staring right back at him, a nasty smirk etched across his face.

As Gobber's speech ended and the crowd burst into thunderous applause, Hiccup frowned.

"Y'know, grandfather," he said, keeping his eyes on Alvin the entire time, a steely tone taking over his voice. "I think it's time I put a stop to this."

And then he reached for the microphone.

Hiccup took a deep breath, standing up behind the table and looking down at the crowd.

"A month ago," he began, "my father asked me to write a speech about love for this wedding."

He swallowed, and cleared his throat, took another breath to stop his voice from wobbling and held his hands behind his back so that the crowd wouldn't see them quivering. "And quite honestly, I freaked out—" everyone chuckled— "because I did not know anything about love. What I knew about love came from stories, and if there was one thing I was sure about, that kind of love would never happen to a guy like me."

Everyone was listening intently to his words, and Hiccup had to take another deep breath before he said the next part. "But there was another reason why I was freaking out," Hiccup said. "A few days before that, my mother and father held the annual family reunion, and as some of you may remember, I brought a date with me—" whooping and cheering came from the crowd – "A very beautiful, wonderful woman who everyone took too so quickly," he said, his voice dry as he looked down on the crowd.

"I told everyone that she was my girlfriend," Hiccup said. "But I was lying."

Silence in the crowd. Val was staring wide-eyed at Hiccup. For one uncomfortable moment, Hiccup's eyes met Snotlout's in the audience, where he was staring open-mouthed.

"A week before the reunion, I'd had an argument with someone about my love life, and in a regrettable fit of anger I told them I was taken, and of course, as it always does, word got back to my parents," he said, turning his head to the side to smile sheepishly at Stoick and Val. "And honestly, Mum, Dad, you both looked so happy that I couldn't find it in myself to tell you the truth. So, I did something crazy."

The crowd was hanging on to Hiccup's every word now. "I asked my best friend in the world if she would come and pretend to be my girlfriend for the day," he said, "and for some crazy reason, she said yes. I thought it'd be simple. We'd go around for the day and hold hands, maybe kiss each other on the cheek, and that would be it, just for the day—" he shot a grin at his parents. "But, as we all know, nothing in the Haddock family is that simple."

A small chuckle from the audience spurred Hiccup on. "Before we knew what was happening, Astrid and I had agreed to turn what was supposed to be a day into a whole month of pretending we were in a relationship, and two weeks ago, we set off on a plane to come here for Mum and Dad's wedding. We came as friends, pretending to be in love, only I made a mistake," Hiccup said. He gave a small deprecating smile before he carried on. "And I'm sure you can all guess what that mistake was: I fell in love with her."

There were a few aws from the crowd.

"Actually," Hiccup said, "I think I have been for a while now, I just didn't notice it. Unfortunately—" his voice caught in his throat as he spoke – "It didn't quite work out. I… made some bad decisions and thought I knew what was best for the both of us, and drove her away."

His voice wobbled. Don't start crying, he thought to himself.

"But that aside, if there's anything the past month has taught me, it's what love really is," he said looking down at the crowd of people. "Like I said, I always thought love was like what I'd read about it books, or seen in films. I thought love was all about sparks. I thought it happened in an instant, that you knew the moment you set eyes on that person that they were the person for you. What I didn't realise is that sometimes love comes from looking at a person you've known forever and realising that there's no one else you'd rather spend your time with."

He swirled a tongue across his lips and took a breath before speaking again. "Love is in the little things. Love is knowing that there's someone on the other end of the phone who's always going to pick up. Love is knowing you've got someone who knows when you're upset and turns up on your doorstep with alcohol and pineapple pizza – even if she thinks it tastes disgusting." He gave a laugh. "Love is deciding to do something crazy like fake a relationship just because you know it'll make the other person happy. Not only that, but love isn't like the movies at all. It can't always be fixed with a grand gesture and big declaration. Love takes time, and patience, and honesty, and most of all, work."

He took another long look at his parents. "By the end of the month, I realised that I had seen that kind of love before. I had seen all of those little things. I'd seen them in the best of people. I'd seen them in Mum and Dad," he said, offering Stoick and Val a smile. Val smiled back, her eyes still wide.

Hiccup turned his gaze back towards the audience. "Love comes in the little things. Sometimes you're not always listening," he said. He focused on the audience and raised his glass. "I'm listening now."

He turned his attention back to Stoick and Val. "So, let's give it up for the very best of people, Stoick and Val Haddock!"

Everyone stood up and clapped. A few people were cheering. Snotlout had stood up on his chair and started whooping, and when Hiccup caught his eye, his cousin waved up at him, a shit-eating grin spread across his face. And when Hiccup turned, he saw his parents, standing up and clapping, his mother wiping away tears.

He went to them, and was pulled into his mother's embrace before he managed to say a word.

"Was it a good speech?" he mumbled into Val's ear.

"The best," she said, holding him tight. "I love you, son."

"I love you too, Mum."

They both held on for a little longer before Hiccup let go and was swept into his father's embrace.

"I'm so proud of you," his father said, and Hiccup didn't say anything, because he didn't need to. He just buried his head into Stoick's chest and squeezed.

They broke apart, and Hiccup was just about to say something else, when:

"That was one hell of a speech, Haddock."

Hiccup turned, his heart in his throat.

Standing in the crowd, dressed in light blue, her hair coiled into a bun, was Astrid Hofferson.

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