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illfoandillfie · 4 years ago

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Request: First of all, congratulations on 1,000!!!! Could you do a a sequel to Interloper where maybe an interviewer is giving her shit for having once been a groupie and Bri Rog and Deaky defend her and have amazing sex after at like their hotel 😂-foursome anon (I’m back)

Interloper / Snapshots From Before (Prequel)

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Brian May x John Deacon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+), gangbang/foursome, oral sex (m and f receiving), anal sex, tit fucking, light choking, slightly dom reader, cheer up sex, some spanking, double and triple penetration

Words: 6,145

A/N: This was another request from back at my 1000 follower celebration last year. It’s been sitting half written in my drafts since then and I finally felt inspired to finish it lmao. Foursome anon I hope you’re still around and you see this!!

Blurb Advent: Day 10

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies

Doing press wasn’t easy, especially when interviewers insisted on questioning you all separately. You preferred having at least one of the boys to back you up. They’d been dealing with the whole interview process for so long now they knew how to avoid answering things they didn’t want to, knew how to deal with rude reporters. But it was all new to you. Perhaps that was why this particular interview had gone so badly. There was no Freddie to make the right snide comment, no Roger to get pissed off on your behalf, no Brian or John to squeeze your knee comfortingly or take over when you go tongue tied.

Things between you and the rest of the band had been going much better since Freddie had locked you in that room together. It didn’t happen overnight, there were still lingering tensions. But any badmouthing they did of you was out of your hearing which you much preferred. Gradually, as the tour wore on, there were less tensions. They got used to having you around, began including you in their games of scrabble and their not-quite-awake conversations over hotel breakfasts. Until one day, in the final leg of the tour, when Freddie admitted to you quietly that he hadn’t overheard any whispered comments for nearly a week. “And here I was thinking we’d never get there.” “Oh hush, darling, I told you from the beginning they wouldn’t hate you forever. Sure they took a little longer to come around than I had anticipated but it all worked out in the end. And now when you tell them the execs have asked for another full album featuring you, they probably won’t kill you.” They hadn’t, of course, though you’d worried for the safety of everyone involved in making the decision. Roger looked as if he were a second away from punching the first person to talk to him.

They took less time to calm down though, especially after they saw how nervous you got before the first interview. Your agent had decided some preliminary press would help build excitement for the album before the songs were even written. Calls were made, journalists were found, and before you knew it you were facing a crowd of people vying to ask you their questions, cameras flashing the whole time. It was a lot. More than pushing you into the deep end, you’d be thrown to the bloody sharks. Any lingering ill will the boys had for you vanished after that. They’d all thankfully been there too, had drawn the attention to themselves rather than let you struggle to answer everything on your own. After that they’d kept an eye on you during the smaller interviews. Mostly the reporters were happy to talk to you all together and, as long as you said one or two things about how excited you were to be working with Queen again, and how much fun touring with them was, you could get away with letting them take lead. But every now and then you got stuck with some jackass who wanted to quiz you solo. And this interview, this horrid interview, had been one of them.

Roger pushed the magazine away from himself, letting it slide as far down your kitchen table as it would go. “She’s a fucking bitch that reporter.” You looked down at the magazine, still open to your interview, the headline alone making your stomach turn. “No, sorry, that’s an insult to dogs. She’s a fucking cunt.” “Rog,” “No, that’s an insult to vaginas. There is no word strong enough for that poor excuse for a journalist.” “Roger, sit down.” Roger shot Freddie a dirty look but sat down anyway, his knee bouncing with restless energy, “Sorry. I’m just pissed off.” “Yes, we gathered that, thanks Rog,” “She took everything I said out of context, you have to believe me.” “We do, Y/N, we do,” John said softly from beside you, rubbing circles on your back. “It started well, I swear. Just the usual questions y’know, what’s it like working with Queen? How does it feel to be singing next to Freddie Mercury? Were you nervous about touring with them? Can you give us any hints about the new album? All the things that usually come up that Freddie coached me on how to answer, and I was doing fine. I had my prepared answers and there was no stumbling over words or anything like that. I thought I’d finally got the hang of it all and then she asked me to elaborate on what it was like working with you. I’d already told her the usual thing – it was fun and y’know blew my mind and all that. But then she asked how it compare to being your groupie.” “You didn’t answer her did you?” “Christ no, Brian! Jesus what do you take me for?” Brian held his hands up in apology. “I told her that it wasn’t relevant, but she kept asking, one question after another thrown at me and no matter what I said she didn’t stop. All sorts of stuff, like which of you was the best shag, and if I’d only wanted to be your groupie because I hoped it would lead to my own album, and if I was still offering my services,” you made air quotes around the words, “accused me of using you for my own gain and asked if you were the first band I’d tried it with or if you were just the only ones gullible enough to let me. I tried to tell her no and that I wasn’t going to answer those questions but she just kept going and then she told me to get used to the attention and left. I guess she didn’t need my answers to write a whole article about it.” “Which of us is the best shag?” Brian repeated the question though you suspected he wasn’t just checking he’d heard you correctly. The others all fell quiet, waiting to see if you’d answer. “Really Bri? That’s what you got from that?” “Right, right, sorry, not the important part. Look, it’s not as bad as you think it is.” “Bri’s right, love,” Roger said, much calmer than he had been before, “there’s nothing of substance in here. Like this quote, as for the fun Ms Y/L/N mentioned was had on tour, one can’t help but wonder just what she meant. Could the stories about nights spent playing boardgames be covers for debauched, drug-fuelled, orgies the likes of which would make a pornstar blush, I mean, there’s nothing there. It’s all conjecture and anyone worth a damn will see right through it.” “But some people will believe it,” “Maybe, yes,” Freddie said, “but it’ll blow over. We’ve all been in the same place you are at one time or another. If anything this officially makes you one of the band.” “Yeah, Y/N, it’s all just spiteful rubbish.” “Thanks guys, but I think I might just call it a day, go back to bed. Stay if you want, I don’t mind. But if you leave lock the door behind you.” You stood and headed to your bedroom.

The four boys stayed quiet until you were out of your room but you heard their hushed voices and hissed comments through your bedroom door as you pulled off your jeans and unclasped your bra from under the baggy jumper you wore. It took about five minutes before there was a soft knock on your bedroom door. “Y/N, can I come in?” You contemplated feigning sleep. “I know you’re not asleep.” You sighed and sat up, hugging your knees to your chest, “Fine, Roger, come in.” “Freddie’s gone to make some calls,” he said, standing just inside your doorway, hands in his pockets. “Calls about what? It’s out there now, there’s no getting it back.” “No but we need to make it clear to other journalists that those kinds of questions won’t be answered in any future interviews, and hopefully we can make sure that parasite never gets to come anywhere near us again.” “Isn’t that mean to parasites?” Roger chuckled, “getting over it already, see,” he sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on your covered knee, “I know this sucks, and I get that you’re ashamed, but I promise it’s not as bad as it feels right now.” “I’m not ashamed.” “What?” “You said I’m ashamed of it but I’m not.” “Oh. I thought-” “I’m a bit embarrassed because obviously I’ve never told my family what it is I got up to when I went to all those concerts and now they’re all going to know, lord knows some of them will believe the worst of it. And I’m pissed off that I didn’t stand up for myself more. I just let her keep cutting me off and talking over me when I should have told her to fuck off or at least called her out for being a prudish arsehole who probably only attacked me because she’s jealous I’ve fucked three quarters of Queen. And I’m annoyed that you’ve all been brought up in the article, and she’s questioning whether your good people just because you sept with me. I mean does she expect you all to be virginal saints or something? It’s just frustrating and yes, upsetting. But I’m definitely not ashamed.” “Huh, okay then.” “What?” “Nothing, just, we assumed you regretted sleeping with us.” “Lord no. It wasn’t planned, like she was insinuating, but seeping with you definitely helped me get my foot in the door with this whole music thing. And even if it hadn’t done that, it was still fun as hell and made me feel good. If I wasn’t fucking you I would have been out having mediocre sex with guys I met in pubs and I don’t care how much of a slut it makes me seem, but I’d rather fuck a whole band every single night and actually get off than have a disappointing drunk lay with a guy who’s never heard of the clitoris. Fuck, I’d still be doing the whole groupie thing now, and be perfectly happy with it, if Freddie hadn’t heard me singing that day. That night at the after party, that was heaps of fun.” “Give me a second would you,” Roger stood and walked to the door, giving you another glance before he turned the corner. You watched the doorway, not quite sure what to make of his behaviour but your questions were answered soon enough when he reappeared with Brian and John following. “So apparently we misread the situation,” Brian said, taking the seat Roger had just vacated. John sat cross legged at the end of your bed while Roger flopped onto the mattress beside you. “I can’t believe you’d think I regretted being your groupie. Have you met me?” “In our defence you seemed very upset, what were we meant to think?” “I had a shitty interview and got called a whore in a very public way, of course I’m upset. Doesn’t mean I regret anything.” “Yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, we should have realised. But we have a proposition for you. We actually thought of a way to cheer you up when we first saw the magazine this morning but then when we got here you seemed so sad and we didn’t want to make you more upset or uncomfortable,” “What Brian is trying to say is that we have an idea we think you might like.” “Jesus will you two stop beating around the bush?” “Shut up Rog, I’m getting there.” “Y/N,” Roger said cutting off the others before they could waffle any longer, “Would you like to fuck us again?” You almost choked. “Zero tact. What he means is, we thought we could cheer you up. All three of us, entirely focused on making you forget that magazine.” “Wait, I’m confused,” you massaged the bridge of your nose as you tried to catch up to them, “you saw an article that called me a whore and thought it would cheer me up to, what, be your shared fucktoy again? Yeah it was fun but-” “No, no, no, that’s not what we mean,” John said, “you’d be in control of how it all happens. It wouldn’t be like last time.” “So, you’d be my whores?” “I guess?” “The point is,” Roger chimed in, “we want to make you feel better. If that means making you cups of tea and buying you a box of chocolates that’s fine. But it could also mean you having three cocks and all the orgasms you can handle.” You looked from Roger to John to Brian and then back again, trying to work out if they were joking or not. But they all seemed sincere enough for you to actually think about their proposition. It wasn’t what you were expecting to hear from them, and it hadn’t crossed your mind until they mentioned it. But now that they had, you had to admit it sounded fun. Last time had been fun and that was when you’d been passed around and used mercilessly, so having them all again, but with a bit more say in how it happened, could only be better. Plus, part of you wanted to prove how unashamed of your groupie history you were and what better way than this? “Okay, I’m in.”

“Do we need to set any ground rules?” Brian asked. “You all know my safeword,” “Saxophone,” You laughed at the chorus of eager voices, “Yes, exactly. Other than that I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Not like this is new exactly, is it?” “Well, no, I s’pose not.” “Exactly. And if there’s anything I don’t want I’ll tell you. So you’re,” you pointed at Roger, “going to kiss me now, while you two undress,” “Getting right to it, excellent,” Roger laughed, as he pushed himself closer to you. He didn’t waste any time, leaning in to kiss you right away. It started off a little too soft for your liking but as soon as soon as you made it clear how into it you were, kissing him back harder and pressing yourself closer, Roger reciprocated. His hands wandered down to your chest as you felt Brian and John get up, following your orders, their clothes left where they landed on the floor. Roger’s hands were soon replaced by Brian’s as he knelt behind you, and you found your head being pulled around so he could kiss you too. Roger took the opportunity to undress as Brian and John caught you between them. You couldn’t tell who was removing your clothes, only that once your jumper had been pulled over your head John was kissing you. He leaned back, tugging you along so Brian could pull your underwear off, his hands caressing your bare bum. “How do you want us?” John asked, brushing your hair back behind your ear. “Um,” you looked around at the three very naked bandmates waiting for your word, “One of you is going to eat me out. Don’t care who but I am going to cum.” “Yes Ma’am,” John laughed, lazily saluting you before rolling you onto your back and shuffling down between your thighs. You were taken by surprise when you felt his tongue run between your lips, expecting nips on your thighs and the teasing puff of his breath as he hovered just out of your reach. But he was clearly taking the job of cheering you up seriously. Brian and Roger weren’t any different, settling into the spaces on either side of you, their light touches only enhancing the feeling John had set off. You felt their fingertips on your breasts and in the ends of your hair, tugging just enough to send a shiver down your spine but not enough to make you gasp in pain. “So what would you like from us, love? What dirty little fantasies are going through your head right now?” Roger tapped his finger on the middle of your forehead. You opened your mouth but a small oh as John latched onto your clit replaced the words you’d been intending to say. “Think we’re going to need a little more than that, Y/N. C’mon, tell us what you want. Do you want us to just take turns fucking you, filling you up over and over and over.” “Or are you thinking more along the lines of last time? Taking two at a time because one cock isn’t quite enough for you now?” “Try three,” you managed to get out as you slid a hand into John’s hair to hold him in place, “want you all at once.” “Jesus,” Brian swore, dropping his lips to your neck. “I’ve been a piss-poor groupie considering the stories that reporter’s peddling. Everyone’s going to think I’ve been taking all three of you at once constantly, but we’ve never actually done that, have we? Might as well embrace my slut title and change that,” “Let us work up to it, Love” Roger said softly, recapturing your lips as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You whined, partly from Roger and Brian’s attention and partly because John raised his head, your hips rising slightly at the loss. “Guess I should start stretching you out then,” he said offhandedly as he licked his fingers, the same way you’d seen him do a hundred times before while playing. You couldn’t stop the moan that rose up in your throat, the sound only making John chuckle against you as he lowered his head and resumed his focus on your clit.

It only took a few more minutes to have you swearing through your first orgasm. The two fingers John had inside you enough to send you over the edge as they brushed against every sensitive spot they could reach. Your neck tingled where Brian had marked it and your nipples were stiff peaks, extra sensitive to cool air after he and Roger had delighted in torturing them with teeth and tongue and fingertips. “How was that?” John asked, slowly withdrawing his fingers when he was satisfied you’d finished. “Fuck,” was all you could say, the three boys laughing, John dropping a kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Think you can handle more?” “Actually Bri I think I might be done,” “Oh. Really?” “I’m kidding.” “Thank Christ. I’m so fucking hard there’s no way I could get my pants back on anyway.” You laughed and pushed yourself to sit up, “Poor thing. I suppose you can use my cunt for a bit.” “Classic guitarists always getting first go,” “Shut it drum boy, I was about to offer to blow you but if you’re going to be like that,” “No, no, I didn’t say anything.” “He did Y/N, I heard him, blow me instead,” “Ignore Deaks, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” “Like a couple of – oh!” you were cut off as Brian grabbed you round the middle and wrenched you onto your hands and knees, “children. A little warning next time please,” “Sorry,” Brian leaned forward to kiss your back as his fingers trailed up the inside of your thigh, “but if I didn’t move this along we’d be stuck arguing about who gets to blow who forever.” “N-no we wouldn’t,” you stumbled over your words as Brian’s long, talented fingers pressed into you, “I made up my mind, Rog in my throat.” “What about me?” “Don’t worry Deaks, you’ll get your turn. If you want you can spank me though, or bite me or pull my hair or whatever else you can think of. You know my limits. Also we’ll need lube so if you want to go digging through my bathroom draws and find some you can. Might be a reward in it if you do.” “Spankher, please,” Brian nearly whined, “always makes her cunt so tight.” “Think I’d rather claim that reward thanks” “Alright then I’ll spank her,” “Guys! Can you stop arguing. I have holes enough for all of you, that’s kind of the point of this. And, Brian and Roger, if I don’t get both of your cocks deep, deep inside me within the next thirty seconds I will kick you both out and let John have his way with me on repeat.” A moment of silence accompanied your statement. You saw Roger, eyes wide, look over at John and then to Brian, and could only assume they were returning his dumbfounded look. “Twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven,” Roger blinked as if waking from a daydream and hurried to kneel in front of you, one hand gliding over the length of his cock as the other reached for your hair. Your mouth fell open in a gasp as Brian suddenly filled you, holding your hips tight as he bottomed out, which gave Roger enough opportunity to push himself towards the back of your throat. There was a shift in the mattress as John got up but you were a little too preoccupied to hear the door open and shut or the sound of him rummaging through your bathroom. You only realised he’d returned when a sudden, loud spank hit you and you knew Brian’s hands were still occupied with your hips. For their parts, Roger and Brian were keeping you busy, skewered between them, not sure whether the noises coming from your own throat were moans or gags or wordless begging. Brian breathlessly laughed as John spanked you again, “So fucking tight. Bit harder?” “Y/N?” You made an assenting humming noise and nodded as much as Roger’s cock would allow which John rightly took as permission and so hit you again, harder than the last.

It was an intoxicating feeling, taking two cocks at once, all the while wanting more and knowing you’d have it before long. Brian fucked you hard and precise, as if his goal was to split you open from the inside out. Had it just been him and you alone you would have found yourself creeping further up the bed. It had happened a few times before, leaving you either hanging off the edge of the bed, or with your hands over your head and pressed against a wall in an effort to keep from banging your head. But all he managed to do was push you further onto Roger’s cock, making you gag and choke more often. Roger didn’t seem to mind that though, giving as good as Brian, firmly gripping your hair so that you couldn’t even attempt to move off him. The added impact from John’s hand just made you shiver and moan. He was the one who sensed you were getting close though, reaching under you to rub your clit and give you the extra push you needed to get over the edge. Brian wasn’t too far behind you, groaning as he tried to keep fucking you, his hips faltering as he twitched inside you and spilled his seed. You felt his hands on your backside as he spread your cheeks, leaning down to spit on your arsehole before he pulled out of you. Once Brian was finished with you, you tapped Roger’s thigh and he pulled back. “You okay?” he asked, stroking your cheek with a knuckle. “Brilliant, just thought that since I can move a bit easier, I’d take over. You look like you were close.” “Fucking yes I was close,” You giggled as you readjusted your position to be more comfortable, once again taking Roger’s cock between your lips. This time you pushed yourself lower, taking him deeper, making Roger swear above you. You pulled back again, hollowing your cheeks until you sank down once more. A strangled moan seemed to catch in Roger’s throat and it spurred you on. You reached out to cups his balls, massaging them in your hand as you took him as deep as you could and hummed. The hum turned into something akin to a squeal (though slightly muffled and choked off at the end) as the sticky cool of John’s lube covered finger teased your arsehole, tracing circles around it before slowly sinking into you. The sight seemed to be enough to finish Roger off, one hand on the back of your head to steady himself as he shot his load down your throat, pulling out towards the end so the last of it dribbled down your chin. “Now me?” John asked, pushing a second finger in with the first as Roger let you go. “Stretch me out a little more and then yes,” “Oh, no, I’m not ready for that yet. I want your tits.” “What?” “Your tits, Y/N. Turn around,” His fingers left you and you were free to move, shuffling on your knees to face him. John pressed down on your shoulder pushing you to sit back on your knees and adjusting your angle so he could slide his lubed up shaft between your breasts. He pushed them together with his palms and slid them up and down his dick as he rutted against you, spreading the sticky lube over your chest. With a slight smile at John, you dipped your head a little and kissed the tip of his cock as it moved towards your lips. “Fuck, been waiting so long for this,” he groaned, “gon-na make a mmm-ess all over you.” He gave up on speech as he neared his released, communicating exclusively in grunts and increased speed until he finished, covering your chest and sternum in ropes of cum that dripped down your skin.

You laughed as John fell back. The hardest you could remember laughing in a while. “What’s so funny?” Brian asked, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “Just thought what that reporter would say if she could see me now, naked and dripping in spunk,” you managed to get out between giggles, “her face would be fucking priceless.” The boys laughed along with you, glad you could see the funny side of the situation with the article. “Does that mean you’re feeling better?” “Yes Rog, but I’m still not done with you.” “What did you have in mind?” “Well,” you crawled over to where Roger was sitting, leant back on his hands, and placed your hand on his throat, tilting his face away from you a little so you could lick a long stripe from his jaw to his temple, “I meant it when I said I wanted all of you.” “Never doubted it, love,” he sounded a little breathless. “Just let me know when you’re all ready to go again. Not you Rog, I can see you’re ready.” “I’m good too Y/N,” “Yeah, same,” “In that case,” you shifted your position, lining yourself up with Roger and sinking down on him, squeezing his throat a little harder as you adjusted. “John, you still got that lube?” “Yes, uh, yeah here,” there was the sound of a cap flipping open and you leaned forward encouraging Roger to lay back so you could give John better access. “Hey, Rog, can you spread your legs a little wider,” “S’pose so, just don’t kneel on my bollocks or anything,” “God give me a second, the thought of that just made mine try and jump up inside me,” You giggled as John shuffled closer, using his fingers to spread some more of the lube over you and to keep stretching you out. “What about me, Y/N?” “I haven’t forgotten you Bri. I want every inch of your cock shoved so far down my throat I can feel you for a week. Just let me get used to the others first, yeah? Still feels kinda odd having two of you at once since we’ve not done it much.” Brian nodded, contenting himself with running his fingers through your hair as he waited. John, having pulled his fingers from you and slicked up his dick with more lube, sank into you slowly, his hand on your back to keep you bent forward. It suddenly felt hard for you to pull in a new breath as you tried to adjust to the feeling of both of them, especially when John gave an experimental thrust, fucking you slowly to make sure it felt okay for everyone. Brian talked softly, reminding you to breathe and telling you how well you were doing, until you were better in control of your lungs and ready for more. “Are you sure you want me as well?” “Yes. Lets show that parasite just how far I’ll go, huh?” Roger laughed, “that’s the spirit.”

Brian didn’t need more convincing than that, though it did take a little trial and error to find the best way to accommodate all three of them. Brian tried perching his arse on the headboard but Roger whinged about “seeing nothing but Bri’s ballsack flopping about. And I know you see things when you’re gangbanging but that is too much.” In the end Brian stood next to the bed by Roger’s head, enough to the side that Roger’s view wasn’t impeded but still close enough so that the angle wouldn’t strain your neck. He gathered your hair into a messy ponytail as he pulled your mouth onto his cock, letting you work yourself further down his shaft as slowly as you needed, checking in with you every now and again to make sure you could take more. The other two were mostly still as you adjusted to Brian, though once or twice they’d given a small thrust or shifted slightly and made you whine. Once you had Brian buried as deep in your throat as he could go you paused for a few seconds and then pulled back again, strings of saliva breaking on your lips. “How was that?” “Good,” you gasped, “New. Kinda weird but very fucking good.” That didn’t really explain anything but you weren’t sure how to describe the nearly overwhelming fullness, the sudden heat, the tension in your belly which you couldn’t pinpoint as either anticipation or nerves or just because you were stretched open on three cocks. “And that’s without us doing anything,” “I know,” you grinned, “I’m excited. Why didn’t we try this sooner? But now you guys can cut loose. I’m not sure I’ll be much use in like riding you properly or whatever. Just don’t know my brain can focus on keeping both of you in my holes while I’m thinking about blowing Bri well. So, just fuck me however you can and we’ll see how it goes.” “Don’t worry, we’ll make you feel good,” John said, rubbing your back softly. “Yeah, course we will, love. And if ends up being shit then we can just take turns instead,” You nodded and took a deep breath before leaning forward to take Brian again. You controlled the pace once more, bobbing up and down his shaft, sucking on his tip, as the other two figured out their rhythm. It was a strange sensation to start. It felt clumsy and more than a little awkward, especially when John mentioned how he could feel Roger inside you. But that eased as they adjusted and worked out how best to fuck you. John held your hips as he plunged into you, each thrust harder than the last as his confidence rose and he found out what you liked most. Roger’s hands moved over your skin rather than staying in once place, palming your breasts and teasing your nipples between his fingertips before sliding down your side to grasp your waist and then back up to your breasts. You were rocked on his cock with each of John’s pounding thrusts, which only made you moan around Brian’s. You let instinct take over there, one hand stroking from his base up to meet your lips as you swallowed him deeper. His hips jolted when you whined or moaned and before long you dropped your hand away from his shaft, instead grabbing his arse to keep yourself steady. He pulled you off him again and you could feel the spit on your chin. “Forgot what a fucking incredible cocksucker you are.” Brian groaned, “But can I take over? Fuck your throat?” “Yeah, okay,” You had time for another breath and then you were pushed down again, right to the base. “There we go,” he groaned, pulling on your hair, “Gonna make you feel so fucking good.” Your hum was choked off and ended in a gag as Brian ground his hips into your face. That seemed to be the tipping point though. The moment all three of them forgot about awkward views or who was positioned where and became entirely consumed with fucking you deep and hard. You were glad to let them lead, grabbing you, pinching and pulling and squeezing every inch of you they could reach. And all the while spearing you on their dicks, keeping you in a cycle of mounting pleasure as they found all your most responsive spots inside and out. You felt your orgasm building again, the heat rising, getting more urgent as you got closer and closer. The sounds you made were muffled by Brian but that didn’t stop you making them, moaning with every pounding thrust. As you neared the edge Brian pulled you off his cock so they could all hear you properly, their encouragement mixing in your lust addled brain and creating a wall of noise that pushed you over the edge with a loud cry. And yet they didn’t stop. Brian waited until your orgasm was reduced to aftershocks that made you wince and whine and then cut off your air as he entered your throat again, resuming the long, deep strokes that made you gag until he came, holding you down as he emptied himself completely.

As soon as the other two didn’t have to worry about giving Brian access to your mouth they adjusted your position, John pushing on your back until you were bent over. Roger attached his lips to your throat as they simultaneously fucked into you, the change of angle pushing Roger’s cock against you in a way that had you seeing spots. You cried out again as Brian lay a slap on your arse. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” John grunted as he came too, unable to hold out any longer though he didn’t withdraw from you either. His hips slowed a bit and he whined softly but he kept fucking you. “Rog,” you panted, trying to get him to finish too. “You’ve got another one in you, c’mon love,” You whined but nodded, the familiar sensation already tightening in the pit of your stomach. Again the three of them encouraged you, John wrapping his hand around your waist to find your clit, Brian reaching under you to squeeze your breast as his other hand came down on your arse again. They gave you no option but to cum, shivering between them. Finally Roger let go too, moaning into your ear as he filled you up.

It took a moment to disentangle everyone, John being careful not to go too fast and hurt you, but finally you were able to collapse together, sweaty and panting, spread out over the room. “So, cheered up now?” Brian asked from where he’d lain down on the carpet You peered over the edge of the bed at him, “Think so. Thanks for that, it was fun.” “Any time, love,” Roger chuckled from the end of the bed, patting your knee, “and I mean that.” “I’m not you groupie anymore,” “Never said you were,” “Then what?” “What Rog means,” John cut in from where he’d spread out on you window seat, “is that if you ever need cheering up or to let out some frustrations, we’re here. We’re happy to help,” “Does your help always involve a gangbang?” “Not always,” Brian laughed. “Well, a lot of the time,” Roger added with a wink. “I’ll keep it in mind,” you chuckled, “I’ll have to face my family at some point and there’s a high chance I’ll leave upset and frustrated so, we’ll see. Wonder how Freddie’s getting on with those calls.” “I’ll go give him a ring and find out,” Roger said, half groaning as he stood and stretched. He didn’t bother grabbing any of his discarded clothes before he left. “I’ll take Rog his pants,” John sighed as he got up and replaced his own underwear, exiting the room with an eyeroll, Roger’s underwear pinched between his thumb and pointer. “And I’ll...stay here?” Brian said, “unless you need anything?” “Nah, I’m going to jump in the shower. Let the other two know that’s where I am, would you?” “If you’re doing that, can I have the bed?” “Sure Bri,” you laughed, “as long as you promise to change the sheets when you wake up.”

#my writing #my fics #queen fanfic #queen smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor smut #brian may x reader #brian may smut #john deacon x reader #john deacon smut

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sweetiejunie · 4 years ago

Text

It’s Because I Love you

Summary: Soobin dug himself into a hole and needed his bestfriend to help him out

Genre: Fluff, Friends-to-lovers, Slow-burn(ish)

Word count: ~10k (oops sry)

💕 Requested

A/n: to the anon that requested this. I’m so sorry this took me forever... haha~ I hope you liked it! And writing this actually reminded how much i like writing these. Do you guys prefer these kind of longer fics or the shorter reaction type fics?

Warnings: Some swearing

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“Y/n i fucked up.”

Was first line that came out of soobin’s mouth when you opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for soobin to randomly show up at your place. But you really weren’t expecting his presence today, since you knew he would be busy packing to head home for the week break. You were about to greet him but before you could say anything, he beat you to it, his sentence laced with regret and panic. “What did you do this time?” You answered, “aren’t you supposed to be packing?” “I- excuse you what do you mean ‘this time’?” He mocked. “Okay, whatever, we’ll get back to that and yeah, i am, but I fucked up real bad,” he repeated. “Huh?” You took a step back so soobin could enter. “Are you alright? What happened?” “So you know how all my cousins and sibling are in a relationship right?” Soobin continued, making his way to your couch to sit down. Resting his head back against the cushions as he groaned. “Yeah, what about it?” Tilting your head as the conversation got more confusing by the second. You closed the door behind you before joining him. “Well... my brother just called me and may have been bothering me about being the only one that isn’t in a relationship...” he trailed off, “and erm, i may have said i... had a girlfriend. And now my family wants met her.” You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his confession, “you did what? You really dug yourself into a hole this time.” Soobin was the youngest of his family. He was always the one that chose to focus more on his grades than actually making friends. Sure, he went to parties and drank every now and then, but other than that, he rarely did anything short of the ‘perfect son’. But despite all his efforts, there was always one thing his sibling could tease him about, and that was the fact that he was 21 and has never been in a relationship. Soobin always tried to not let this bother him, but i guess today, he just snapped. “I really did,” he sighed. “That’s why i need your help.” “How can i possibly help you out of this, soobin?” you ridiculed, glaring at him. “You do know that you’re one of my only friends, right? Meaning, I won’t be able to find anyone to play girlfriend with you.” “Um, actually about that... i kind of told my family that my girlfriend goes to the same school as me and studies the same major as me. I also kind of told them that she has y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair.” He sat up, looking for a reaction from you. Instead, all he saw was your blank expression, staring back at him. “Yeah so, if you hadn’t caught on yet, i might have, sort of, just described you to my family.” Your eyes widened at his statement, you weren’t sure what to reply. You met soobin all the way back in high school, and you’ve stayed friends ever since — 5 years, 11 months, 23 days, to be exact. Not that you were keeping count or anything. You remember the first day you approached the shy boy, the new transfer student sitting at the back alone. He was the first friend you made there. And to makes things worse, you’ve had a crush on him, but you knew better than to confess and possibly ruin the friendship. You’ve suppressed all your feeling since then. Maybe. Probably. Okay, no. But you’ve tried. And all this talk of ‘pretend girlfriend’ did nothing but make your heart start racing again. “Why on earth would you do that!” “I dont know! You were the first person that came to mind! So are you okay with doing me the favour of playing the role of my girlfriend?” Soobin said with a slight pout and puppy dog eyes. A move he knew you could never refuse, “You’re free this break, right?” His sudden confession was like a blow to your heart. The first person that came to his mind... but it’s probably just because he didnt have many female friends, right? “Erm...” you paused. The more you thought about his proposition, the more you found yourself weighing the consequences. “Come on y/n. Please? We already get engaged every other week at clubs for free drinks. This won’t be that much different.” “Would your family believe it? I mean, it’s me.” “Sure they will. And it’ll be easy to fake it since you already know me.” You paused for another second before replying. “Hm, right. Fine. But you owe me. Do i have to bring anything?” You were helping out a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. “Nope, just bring enough clothes. You don’t need anything too fancy,” he stood up, leaning down to give you a quick hug. As he walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder before leaving your apartment. “Thanks for doing this, i really owe you. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow after our classes, alright? See you then.”

————-————-————-————-

After an hour, three outfit changes and completely unpacking and repacking your luggage twice, you were finally satisfied and ready to go. It was only a weeks worth of clothes in a small luggage, yet, you still found a way to overthink it. In the end, you had settled for a simple tee with jeans and a coat to keep you warm for the ride. Already, you were beginning to regret your decision of going along with this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ act. It had nothing to do with soobin or his family. They were absolutely wonderful, his parents were kind, his siblings were fun and sweet and his baby nephew was, well, a baby. The only problem was what if your heart liked the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ just a little bit too much? You had met his siblings and parents a handful of times when they visited him at his apartment. They’ve always been nothing but nice to you, and now, you were going to have to lie to them. The more you thought about it, the more your mind was playing angel and devil with you. On one hand, you didn’t want to spend the weekend being dishonest and possibly screwing up the image soobin’s family had of you. But on the other, you wanted to be selfish and be able to call soobin yours, even if it were just for a few days. You sighed quietly, sitting in your living room waiting for soobin to pick you up like he said he would. The entire day you had been unable to focus in your classes, whatever your lectures said just going right through your head. At this time on fridays, you would normally have found soobin dressed in any lounge wear he had, crashing at your place to watch whatever movie he found that week. But now, you were going to find him dressed up, ready to bring you to meet his parents. The relationship sure escalated quickly. Just as your mind started drifting further, your doorbell rang. “U ready?” Soobin’s signature eye smile greeted you, his front bunny teeth exposed. You’ve always noticed how soobin’s appearance resembled that of a bunny, but no matter how many times you tried to tell him, he didn’t want to believe it. “As ready as ill ever be,” you returned the smile, grabbing your luggage and locking your front door. Well, this was it, no turning back now. Helping you with your things, soobin lead you to his car and started the journey. It was only about a 3 hour drive and a car ride proved to be a great distraction. You hadn’t been to soobins hometown before, so being able to look out the window and see the scenery was no doubt better than sneaking glances at soobin in the drivers seat. You just knew that if you saw soobin, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other propped on the arm rest, you might have gone into cardiac arrest. The ride was quiet for the most part, that was until soobin pulled up at a red light. “I made a playlist,” soobin flipped his phone around to show you and connect it to his car. “It’s like, if you were my real girlfriend, this would be the playlist i would share with you.” You couldn’t help but smile when you realised how sweet soobin would be in an actual relationship. His future girlfriend is really lucky. But you had to control yourself, reminding yourself that it’s all just pretend for the week. “I’m sure its great. You have great taste in music,” you faked a laugh. “Um... so... soobin? How exactly are we supposed to fake this? I mean, what we supposed to do? What will your family do?” “Oh...” he started, his eyes focusing back on the road, the lights turning green again. “To be honest, i haven’t actually thought about that part yet.” Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought. “Mmm, when my brother first brought his girlfriend home, my family teased him a lot, just to make fun of him and get her reaction. But they already did that with you whenever they visited me so... I’m not sure what they’ll do, honestly.” “Oh...” That was completely unhelpful. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continued staring blankly out the window. “Hey, don’t worry too much okay? We’ll just wing it like we do everything else. And that’s worked out for us so far, right?” Soobin chuckled, trying to comfort you. “As for what we need to do. I guess it’ll just be all that couple stuff like holding hands and hugging. And you’re already such a cuddly person, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. We got this, alright? And I’ll be with you the entire time.” You nod a response, “yeah, we got this.” On the outside, you tried to seem cool and composed. On the inside however, you were a mess. Sure, you and soobin already had your fair share of cuddles when he showed up for a movie night at your place. And on the days he was too lazy to go back to his dorm, you would find him whining and groaning for you to make him breakfast the next day. But now you were expected to act that way in front of his family? That was a whole new level of stress you didn’t think about when you agreed to this. After a while more of driving, it was a little over 10pm when soobin finally pulled up alongside the curd in front of his house. The remainder of the car ride had been relatively silent, except for the playlist that soobin had made for you, and the occasional mindless singing you would start that turned into a carpool karaoke. Getting off, soobin unloaded his and your luggage and lead you to the front door. Probably noticing your nervous state, soobin grabbed your shaking hands. “I’m right here alright?” He smiled, “it’s show time.” With that, he rang the doorbell. And not 15 seconds later, soobin’s sister answered the door. “Soobin!” She greeted, pulling him into a hug, “we’ve been waiting for you and- oh! Y/n! I knew it. Same major, y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair. If it wasn’t you, i was about to kick his ass.” “Hah, yeah, surprise?” You said, the last part sounding more like a question than a sentence. “Aish, this boy. The previous night on the call, he just told us he’ll be bringing his girlfriend home, gave us a description but never told us who. Left us all to wonder who she was and well,” she chuckled, putting an arm around soobin’s shoulders, “if she even existed. I’m glad it’s you, the first time we met you, i already knew you two would end up together.” “Wait, so you all took guesses on who it was?” Soobin chimed in, shooting a glare at his sister. “Well, yea! All of us pretty much guessed y/n. Except for mom though, she’s kept quiet about it. But i guess it was just because she didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Looking at soobins annoyed expression, you laughed. Shrugging of his sisters arm, soobin grabbed both your luggage, pushing past his sister and pulled them into the house. “Alright, alright, just let us in already, its freezing out here.” “It’s nice to see you again y/n,” his sister said as she held the door open for you. “Likewise.” You smiled before stepping in. You’d never been to soobin’s house before. Sure, you’ve seen bits and pieces of it when the two of your FaceTimed over the holidays, but never in person. In the hallway where you stood, were the stairs that you presumed lead to the bedrooms. Sporadically placed were a few house plants that looked as if they had been watered quite recently. The walls were littered with family photos, and most noticeably, soobin’s baby pictures. You smiled looking at them, taking a mental image of the cute, little baby this giant once was. Closing the door behind you, soobins sister spoke, “you guys wait here. I think mom and dad are in the living room. I’ll go get them.” As you saw her silhouette disappear towards one of the entries, you felt the nerves building up again, “soobin...” you tilted you head up to look at him, your face portraying nothing but worry. “Don’t worry okay?” Taking your hand in his, gently squeezing for reassurance.“ Just follow my lead and pretend you’re in love with me. Which should be easy since I’m your favourite person,” he joked, in attempts to lighten your mood. ‘Pretend to be in love with him’. Okay, shouldn’t be too hard, considering the fact that you actually were in love with him and spent years pretending not to be. “Yea, alright.” Letting go of your hand, soobin walked forward to hug his parents when he saw them approaching. “Soobin, we were starting to wonder how long more you would take,” his mom said. “How are you? How’s everything at school?” “Everything’s fine,” he replied. Turning to you, he held out his hand for you to take. “Mom, dad, you know y/n.” Accepting his hand, you stepped forward to greet his parents. Just hoping that your nervous trembling wasn’t too obvious to the naked eye. “Ah of course! How could we ever forget,” his mom smiled. “We always knew the two of you would end up together eventually. He’s always been so obvious about you,” his dad added, causing blood to rush to your cheeks, and soobin to immediately retaliate. “Dad! Stop it. No i have not!” You looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met your eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face never faltered. Hitting her husbands arm, soobins mom scolded, “aish, stop teasing them, they just got here. Speaking of which, have you two eaten?” “No we havent, actually. We came right after school,” soobin answered. “In that case, you can take yours and y/n stuff up to your room and get settled in. I’ll order some food for you. Pizza sound okay?” his mom spun soobin around, pushing him back to where your luggage laid. “His room?” You thought out loud. Of course they were expecting you to share a room with soobin. What else could you have possibly thought. “Of course his room,” his mom answered, “you have known each other for such a long time. And i have no doubts there are days that soobin stayed over at your apartment instead of his dorm anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch.” With that, you and soobin grabbed your things and headed up to his room. Sure, the nights soobin stayed over you have shared a bed before. But this time, it just felt different. Even though everything was still purely platonic, the element of you being in his home, pretending to be his girlfriend, was still no doubt intimidating. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Soobin asked rhetorically, snapping you out of your thoughts. He laughed, clearly taking the whole situation a lot lighter than you were. Opening the door to his room, it was exactly how you pictured it when he called you. You stood at the doorway, it seemed so familiar, yet unknown at the same time. His bed in the corner of the room with a few pillows and plushies, at the other end, his desk and wardrobe filled with clothes he left behind. His walls were mainly bare, except for one that had a few old polaroids hanging loosing from the ceiling. It felt weird being there. “Well, don’t just stand there,” soobin grabbed your luggage from you, pulling you in to the room so he could close the door behind you and crashing down on his bed. “First, let me give you the official welcome to mi casa. My family is a lot, but you already knew that. Make yourself at home.” “Honestly, i cant believe they bought it so easily,” you let out, taking a seat next to him. “Told you they would. My family probably loves you more than they love me.” You laughed halfheartedly, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing. “We should clean up before we head back to the wolves den for dinner. The bathroom is right down the hall to the right. You can go first, ill clear a drawer for you,” he offered. You nod, gathering your things for the night. This is all just pretend.

————-————-————-————-

The shower definitely helped calm you down a bit. You loved the warmth of the water against your skin. “It’s just for a week. Dont get used to it,” you muttered to yourself. Getting out, you quickly dressed yourself in a tshirt and some shorts. The normal attire you wore to sleep, anything else was always just uncomfortable for you. “You’re turn,” you announced when you entered soobins room again. “That was quick. Here, take one of my sweaters.” “What for?” You shot him a look, raising brow. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t stole his hoodies before, it was just the fact that he was offering it this time. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, aren’t you? Girlfriends always take their boyfriend’s clothes.” Fishing a plain, red sweater out from his wardrobe, he threw it in your direction, hitting you directly in the face and causing you to yelp a little. “Besides, you already take all my hoodies. This is no different,” he continued, eyeing you as you pulled it over your head. As usual, soobin’s clothes were huge on you. And this sweater was no doubt oversized, even for him. “How do i look?” You looked to him when you didn’t get a reply. But this only caused him to turn away from you quickly, mumbling something to himself before answering, “it’s my clothes, it’ll look great on everyone.” Scrambling to gather his things, he left for his shower. You could have swore you saw him blushing when he was looking at you. But you brushed it off as your overactive imagination. You decided to swiftly blow dry your hair before laying on his bed, scrolling through your phone while waiting for him. You were hungry, practically starving, but there was no way in hell you were going to face his family again on your own. With your new status, god knows what they would do or say. A mere 15 minutes go by before you hear the door open again. Revealing a damp haired soobin, dressed in a white tee and sweatpants. A simple look you have seen many times over the years, but one that still made your head and thoughts hazy. “Ready to go down?” He spoke, smirking at you, almost knowingly, “I’m starving.” “Ye- yeah,” gathering your thoughts, bringing yourself back to reality.

————-————-————-————-

Dinner with the family wasnt all that bad. Sure, there was the occasional teasing and questions. But that was to be expected. Any parent would have been curious, right? You let soobin take the lead on most of those. You didn’t want your cover to get blown by having any clashing answers. Once in a while you would feel soobin grab your hand under the table when he needed your help, but for the most part, they were the basic questions like “since when?” Or “who confessed first?”. The usual relationship stuff, nothing too hard. And it was a lot easier with the fact that it was you and soobin, the two friends that have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of situations. At the end of the day, the awkwardness ended soon after it started. With it being past midnight, Soobin’s family had long gone to bed, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit kitchen to finish up your dinner, which had quickly became supper. “So, how was day one of being my girlfriend?” He looked over to you, munching on another piece of pizza. Even in that horrible lighting, he still managed to take your breath away. No one could possibly look good with dull, ugly, yellow kitchen lighting, but somehow, he did. The way the soft light bounced off his skin, partnered with the reflection in his eye that gave that perfect shine to them. You were sure you looked horrid next to him. “Mmm, it’s alright i guess,” you teased, earning a pout from soobin. “You big baby. I’m just kidding,” nudging him on the shoulder, causing you both the laugh. You didn’t know why this question surprised you as much as it did. Maybe you wanted to flip the tables, or maybe you just weren’t expecting the answer he gave. “So how was day one of having me as your pretend girlfriend?” He thought about it for a second before facing you and speaking. “Honestly, it’s been fun. Even though we haven’t done much. But then again, i always knew you would be great girlfriend to someone one day.” ‘Someone’. If only you could tell him how much you wanted that someone to be him. If only you had the guts to say what’s was on your mind. “Want to play some music?” Breaking the silence, soobin picked up his phone, quickly scrolling through his playlists before stopping on one he named ‘midnight’. “It’s just some chill songs i found that i thought would be nice to listen to at night.” The playlist started and the first song to play was ‘what falling in love feels like’. “Oh, i love this song,” you mindlessly stated between bites. “Really?” Soobin replied. “I never heard you listen to classical music.” Your eyes widened slightly when you realised what you said. You didn’t just listen to classical music. You’ve also imagined what it would be like to slow dance to it. “I never really told anyone... but i always wanted to dance with someone to this song. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit,” you trailed off, the surface of the counter suddenly becoming more interesting. The dead of night had you confessing unspoken words. There was another second of silence. You could feel soobin’s stare on your face. He was judging you. You were sure of it. Now you were just mentally preparing yourself for a laugh- “Let’s dance.” “What?” You weren’t expecting that. You shot your head up, seeing his outstretched hand. “Let’s dance,” he repeated. You reached for his hand, but didn’t grab it. You were hesitant. Never would you have thought you’d be slow dancing with your crush — of over 3 years, in the kitchen of his childhood home — at midnight. He held you hand, helping you to stand before twirling you into his arms. He lead your hands around his neck and his around your waist. You fell in step, letting the rhythm control your movements. Your eyes gazing into his brown, glistening ones, a soft smile on his face. It felt like a dream. Your surroundings and any other disturbances dissolved. It was just you and him. Right here, right now. You stayed like that, dancing. Everything felt just... perfect. “You know i’d never judge you right?” He said, his eyes watching your expressions closely. “I know that’s what you were thinking earlier.” You looked away, unable to find the right words. Soobin always had a way to read you so easily. Every once in a while he would remind you how expressive your face was. And you were certain a blush had crept to your cheeks when you heard soobin chuckle. “You silly girl. You can tell me anything. You know that. After all, you are my best friend.” “Right... best friend,” you offered a small smile to mask the resignation in your words. And just like that, the song ended. Soobin let go your waist. Leaving nothing the ghostly feeling of where his hands once were and the sensation of having his body so close to yours. “It’s nearly 1am. We should go to bed soon,” he nodded towards the clock on the stove. “You can head up first. I’ll clean up here and join you in a bit.” You nodded. Once you were back in his room, you crashed on his bed. Regret and agony the only things left for you to feel. Why did you agree to this. You knew it would be hard. But not this hard. You rolled over to your side of the bed. And true to his word, soobin entered shortly after. Climbing under the covers with you, poking your side when you paid no attention to him. You jumped, immediately facing him. “What was that for!?” “Nothing,” he laughed. “It’s just fun to do that to you. I have a fun day planned tomorrow, so get up early. Good night y/n.” “Good night, asshole.” You scoffed.

The next morning you woke up to a post-it on your head. You tore it off and looked around the room but soobin was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, sitting up to stretch and read the note. ‘Wake up sleepyhead. Come to the kitchen for breakfast.’ Oh, how you wished the entire night before had been a dream. But alas, it wasn’t. Pulling yourself out of bed, you cleaned yourself up and descend the stairs. The smell of fresh pancakes engulfing the entire house. “Good morning y/n,” soobin’s dad greeted you when you entered the kitchen. “Grab a seat. Breakfast is almost done.” “Your dad cooks?” You whispered as you pulled out the stool next to soobin. “Mainly breakfast. But yes,” he whispered back. Soobin’s dad placed a plate in front of each of you. 3 pancakes a piece, and more to come. “Butter or maple syrup?” “Both,” soobin smugly answered. “And you y/n?” “Ill have both as well, thanks,” you smiled before facing soobin. “Where’s your mom and sister?” “My mom went to the store. And my sister doesn’t get up till later.” Soobin grabbed the syrup his father had just put on the table and poured a generous amount. His attention was fully on his food. You couldn’t help but grin at his childlike manner. He always loved breakfast. Or any dish that can be both sweet and savoury actually. You both enjoyed your breakfast, watching soobin’s father flip pancakes, cheering when it landed, and messing around while cooking as your morning source of entertainment. “The pancakes are really good, mr choi,” you complimented. “Why, thank you y/n. You always have been such well mannered,” he said. “Hopefully some of that will rub off on my son soon.” “Hey! I am well mannered,” soobin retorted. “Oh, really now,” you taunted, giving him a look of disbelief. Soobin tsked, lightly pushing you over. “Okay, whatever. Anyways, hurry up. I’m going to show you around town today.” “You two don’t come back too late now,” his father added. “And bring a coat, it’s supposed to get colder today.” Stuffing down the remainder of his food, soobin linked your arms and dragged you out of the kitchen the moment he saw your plate empty. “Hey! I’m not done yet, i wanted one mo-!” “Bye dad!” Soobin interrupted, ignoring your plea.

————-————-————-————-

“So much being well mannered.” You mocked. “Not my fault you wanted to eat so much,” he shrugged. Both of you strolled along the road. You weren’t sure where soobin was bringing you, other than his aforementioned ‘town’. Despite it just being the two of you, soobin still dressed nicely, in a turtleneck and scarf with a black coat to go over it. “Wait...” you started, noticing a passing sign. “Why does that say the town is the other way?” “Cause i changed my mind. I’m bringing you somewhere else,” he replied, shooting you one of his, oh so charming, eye smiles. “I’ll bring you to town another day.” “This way’s to the forest,” you raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to kill me or something? After 6 years of friendship. This is how you want to end it?” You dramatically gripped your chest and joked. “I’m sorry for whatever i did. I can change, I swear.” Soobin rolled his eyes and guffawed. “Of course. This has been my plan all along. To befriend you then brutally murder you among the trees where no one can find your body,” he played along. “Relax, I’m no murderer. An avid liar? Maybe. But not a murderer. I just want to show you something.” You hummed a response and continued on your way. Not long after, soobin was leading you down a path in the deserted forest. As the path reached deeper into the woods, the trees got denser. “Erm, soobin, where are we going?” You called from behind him. “I’m really starting to question the whole murder thing.” You’re not going to lie when you say the woods kind of crept you out. You could have sworn you felt someone behind you. But when you turned around, there wasn’t a soul. The twigs and dead leaves making a deafening crunch under your feet as the — seemingly never-ending — journey continued. “Just trust me,” he provided a simple answer that proved to be of no help in ensuring you. As you continued, the sound of snapping twigs got louder. You turned the corner and the sudden sound of birds fleeing their nest startled you, causing you to jump and grab soobin’s coat from the back. “Are you really that scared?” He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he continued, turning around and reaching for your hand. Gently running his thumb over yours the rest of the way. “We’re almost there. It’s worth it, i promise.” Having his hand in yours definitely provided some comfort. But it was also making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. After another minute of walking, you finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The horrid crunching sound had been washed out by the sound of, well, rushing water. A waterfall. You gasped in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue waterfall. It was spurting over the basalt rock, spilling eel-like over the ledges. Its clamorous passage at the foot of the mountain threw up bubbles of spray. They sparkled uneasily in the beams of light that shined through the leaves of surrounding trees. When it toppled into the ecstasy-pool, it foamed it at the bottom. The rest of the pool was as clear as cellophane, allowing you to see down into the rocky bottom. Fronds of forest-green plants waved gently in the depths. The waterfall looked like a sheet of blue velour as it swished down. Its edges were hemmed with whipped-white lines. “Wow,” was all you managed to utter out. “I told you it was worth it,” soobin grinned. “Come on.” He lead you closer, collapsing on the bank and letting the nougat sweet smell of flowers wash over him. You followed suit. “How did you find this place?” “A friend of mine showed it to me when we were kids.” He said, leaning back against his palms. “We used to hang out all the time here. The five of us. That is, until i moved away for high school. “I wonder what they’re up to now.” He added after a slight pause. “You don’t see them when you come back for the holidays?” You asked. Soobin shook his head. “I don’t get to see them much anymore. I barely leave my house, y/n, you know that. Besides, they’re all busy with their own lives.” You listened to soobin reminisce about his childhood. You would listen to soobin talk for hours if you could. His words are were like gold to you, or perhaps some elixir you’ve been waiting all your days to hear. He had nothing but good things to say. It sounded like he had a lot of fun here, in the small town he grew up in. You both sat there for a while, gawking at the waterfall when the suddenly rustling of the bushes behind you caught your attention. “Y/n,” soobin stood up, holding you behind him as the rustling got louder. And then a figure walked through, a boy. He was wearing a brown furry jacket. His hair was a strange shade a pink, but it complimented his skin tone nicely. “Soobin?” The boy said, folding his arms. “No way. Is that actually you? Mr choi soobin. After all these years.” “Yeonjun?” Soobin replied, letting go of you and walking up to yeonjun. “What are you doing here?” “I was on my way out and thought i saw you earlier entering the forest so i decided to follow you. Who else knows this place anyway?” Yeonjun laughed, swinging an arm around soobin’s shoulder. “So you practically followed, what could have been, a complete stranger into the forest?” Soobin shot him a look. To that, yeonjun just smiled and nodded. “You never change, do you?” “Nope,” yeonjun answered confidently. “Anyways, are you going to introduce me to the pretty lady or do i have to do that myself?” He gestured a smile towards you. Beside him, soobin stiffened, his jaw slightly tensing before he answered. “Right... Yeonjun, y/n. We met in high school, she’s my best friend. Y/n, yeonjun. He was one of my friends i was telling you about-” “Yeah, until this bastard moved, changed his number and practically became a hermit that never left his house much.” Yeonjun jibed. “Hmm, that sounds about right. The only place I’ve seen him, other than class or the library, is at my apartment binge watching shows,” you added, causing yeonjun to burst out a laugh. “You guys are mean.” Soobin grumbled, pushing yeonjun’s arm off him. “I have a feeling she and i are going to be great friends.” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly. The three of you sat there, talking for what seemed like hours. Soobin and yeonjun continued to tell you about the different adventures they had together as kids with their friends, beomgyu, kai and taehyun. They recounted all the accidents that happened, all the fun moments they had together. Yeonjun eventually proceeded to tell you about all the embarrassing soobin stories he could think of, sharing jokes and making you laugh. The entire time though, soobin barely directed any conversation at you. Let alone laugh at Yeonjun’s ‘jokes’. As your laughter died down, yeonjun spoke again. “I have to ask though, what’s she doing doing here? Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious. Does she live around here too?” You looked to soobin, unsure of how or what to answer. “It’s okay, yeonjun won’t snitch,” he said. “Y/n’s pretending to be my girlfriend for the holiday.” It hurt you every time he said it. In your head you wished so badly for it to be real. To think, by now you would have learnt that wishing only wounds the heart. And each time soobin said it out loud, it was like a punch to the gut. “Pretending to be your-“ yeonjun cut himself off by scoffing. “What for?” “Well....” soobin started explaining the whole situation to yeonjun. To which the only response he got out of the other boy was mockery and disbelief. “Are you serious?!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “So you two aren’t together?” You shook your head. “Oh... good....” he mumbled, grinning in the process. “You have got to be kidding me. But you guys do you, i guess. My lips are sealed. “I hate to ruin the moment but i have to go. It was nice meeting you y/n.” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It was nice to see you again too, soobin. But let know, the next time you’re back.” “Right, ill keep that in mind.” Soobin replied. Just as yeonjun started to walk away, he stopped and turned around once more. “Oh! Right. How long are you guys staying? I’m meeting beomgyu, tae and kai on monday at the diner. You should come,” his eyes travelled to you, “both of you.” “We cant-“ “We would love to!” You cut soobin off, “come on soobin, you haven’t seen your friends in ages. I would be nice to say ‘hi’ again.” Soobin stared at you for a second. Maybe it was the excitement in your face or maybe he truly did want to see his friends again. But in the end he agreed. “Great! Ill see you two monday at 5.” Yeonjun ended, giving a small salute before leaving, for real this time. Soobin went back to the bay, laying down on the grass, letting out a long held sigh. He stared up at the sky that was quickly becoming darker. The stars and moon announcing their arrival. “You alright?” You asked, sitting down next to him. “Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” He answered, his eyes still closed. “I don’t know. You just seemed... off just now. Like my or yeonjun’s presence bothered you.” “It’s nothing. Im just tired.” He sighed again, sitting up. “While on the subject, we should head back. It’s getting dark.” He stood up and started walking without another word. Was he mad at you? No... he had no reason to be, right? Was he mad about the joke you made with yeonjun? You quickly caught up to him and followed him out of the forest. Other than your footsteps against the concrete road and the cicadas that came out to say their daily greetings, the awkward silence followed the rest of the way. “I’m not annoyed at you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” soobin broke the silence. The entire walk you had your focus on the ground, not noticing the stolen glances soobin took. “Stop sulking. People are going to think i kicked your puppy or something.” He chuckled, bending his waist slight to look at your face. His face was mere inches away from yours. Memories from the previous night came flooding back. You didn’t offer a response, not trusting the words that would escape your lips in that moment. Instead just turning your face to the other side to avoid his stare. Soobin let out a light hearted laugh and continued walking. You recalled how soobin always said you had an expressive face. He must have seen something you didn’t realise. The sky got darker as you continued down the road. The cool winter breeze greeting the concrete and skin just the same, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Mentally cursing the fact that, other than your khaki coat, you didn’t think to wear more layers that morning. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you cold?” Soobin asked, already shedding off his cherry red, wool scarf. “No, it’s alright, you’ll get cold,” grabbing his hands to stop his actions. “I’ll be fine. And we’re only about 5 minutes away,” he argued, wrapping his scarf around your neck. He took your hand, pulling you behind him the rest of the way quickly before you ‘caught a cold’. The scarf sat snug to your skin, soft and gentle, the ends becoming a colourful flag in the wintry winds. It was still warm from where it sat before. You could smell of his cologne on it. Faint, from the day’s activities. But still prominent enough to know it’s existence. Your hands trembled in his and you thanked the cold for that excuse. Burying your face deeper into his scarf before he could make out the slight blush that painted your cheeks. When you reached soobin’s home again, there was a faint chattering echoing through house. “Oh, i think my older sister’s came for a visit.” Soobin’s older sister. The one that’s the account, married, with the baby — soobin’s nephew — and the lovely husband. You’ve only ever met them once, well that, and the occasional pictures soobin would send you of him and his nephew. Seeing soobin with babies did things to your heart thats you didn’t like. You’ve already imagined the unlikely scenario of what it would be like to have soobin as your boyfriend. You can’t go fantasising an entire family as well. But you had to admit, he would make a great dad one day. “Soobin!” His older sister ran and hugged him. He’s always had such a close bond with his siblings. “Mom and dad told me you brought your girlfriend home this time.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Hey sis. And yeah, y/n. You know her,” soobin turned to you. “Of course. The last time i saw you two I knew you’d end up together.” She cheered as if she had just won the lottery. So, from what you’ve gathered, soobin’s entire family had always had some hopes on the two of two. You wanted to smile at that fact. But at same time, you were lying to them right now. It was a bittersweet feeling. The remainder of the night went on rather unproductive. You had dinner with his family, chatted with them, played with the baby and that was about it. The worst part came when the family decided to watch a movie together. The movie was great, dont get me wrong. You all sat together and watched kingsman again. Even though it was the tenth time you’ve seen it, it was still yours and Soobin’s favourite. The bad part came when you had to find a seat. The family couch say four, soobin’s mom, dad and sisters. The older’s husband took one of the arm chairs, leaving you and soobin to share the other. In other words, you ended up having to sit on his lap. “I can just sit on the floor, its no problem,” you suggested. “Nonsense. I won’t let you sit on the floor,” soobin rebutted, holding your waist, pulling you back onto his lap. You swear, if it wasn’t for the dimness of the room, the redness of your face would have matched that of the fire place. Throughout the movie you found it extremely hard to pay attention. Soobin had left one of his hands to rest on your knee and the other around your back. Sure, he was probably just putting on a show for his family. But he didn’t have to do the thumb thing as well. Or gently whisper in your ear, so close that you could feel his breath against your neck. The rest of the time you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat — which just so happened to be soobin’s lap. As interesting as the fight scene on screen was or the dramatic music playing, the only thing you could focus on was the fact that soobin’s hand had now traveled to your thigh. And underneath you, soobin’s breathing was becoming short and uneven. He was starting to stir as well before getting up, forcing you to stand and murmuring, “I’m going to head to bed early. You guys enjoy the rest of the movie.” Within the next beat of the soundtrack, he was dashing out of the living room and running up the stairs. What...? You weren’t the only one wondering that. Soobin’s family were now staring at you, his mothers brows furrowed, his sister’s head tilted quizzically. “He said he’s tired,” you blurted, face-palming in your head. Great. You already felt out of place and this certainly wasn’t helping. You sat down on the, now vacant, chair and continued the rest of the movie with his family. I’m sure he’s fine. You can always ask him tomorrow.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up to an empty bed again. But this time there was no post it note or anything from soobin. So you assumed he’d be in the kitchen like before. “Morning y/n,” it was his older sister this time. “Morning.” You looked around. No sight of soobin. “Where’s soobin?” “Oh he didn’t tell you? He went out for a walk around 20 minutes ago.” Why didn’t he wait for you? “Yeah, he didn’t. Did he say where he was going or when he’ll be back?” You asked. To that, she just shook her head. Oh...

“I almost forgot,” she continued. “There was a note for you. I left it on the counter for you.”

You picked it up, hoping to see Soobin’s name as the regards, telling you his whereabouts. Instead, the note was fairly short.

Hey y/n!

Once again i just wanted to welcome you to town. It was really nice meeting you yesterday! Maybe we could hang out some time?

(Hopefully) Your friend,

Yeonjun

Did Soobin see it? Either way, why does it matter. After breakfast, you decided to wait for soobin to come home. If he didn’t tell where he was going, it means he cant be gone long, right? You sat in his room, figuring it would be the only place you didnt have to face his family members. It was only about an hour and a half of waiting and a lunch break, that you got bored. You could only scroll your phone so much before it started to get more redundant than it already was. So, checking the weather report, you got dressed and left for a walk around. You hadn’t seen much of the area yet, it wouldn’t be harmful to do some exploring. Learning your lesson from yesterday, you put on a wool sweater underneath your coat. A pair of dr marten to match. It was a rather fine day out. You walked under the sun that warmed your skin, but the cool winds keeping the temperature cool enough. The only thing that would make this better would be if soobin were with you... “Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you. You turned around and saw a familiar lock of pink hair running towards you, frantically waving his arms. He was wearing a leather jacket today. Behind him was someone else that chased after him. He had nicely styled, bleached blonde hair and was slightly short than yeonjun was. “Oh, hi.” You greeted the two of them. “Fancy running into you again.” “I know, right!” He agreed, a bit more enthusiastically than what you would imagine. “Why are you alone? Where’s soobin?” “No clue. He just took off this morning. Didn’t tell me anything and i got bored of sitting around alone.” “Maybe the pressure of a relationship getting to him,” yeonjun suggested. “It’s fake though,” you mocked. He just shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less of a commitment.” You hummed a reply. “Fair enough.” “Anyway. If you have nothing better to do... taehyun and i,” he said, gesturing towards to boy beside him, “were just headed to the arcade in town. Care to join us?” “Sure, I don’t see why not.” You followed as yeonjun and taehyun lead you through the town soobin said he would bring you to. Every corner they turned, they greeted someone new. From little kids to elderly ladies and gentlemen. Small town, i guess everyone knew everyone. Eventually, they stopped in front of a building, the arcade. The pings from the pinball machines, the bullets from the shooting games, and the ‘jackpot’ announcements, all a dead give away. From the outside, the building looked old and rundown. The paint was old and cracking as if it hadn’t been repainted in years. Even the neon signs provided to the retro aesthetic, casting a purple-red hue over everything. You stood there, taking in the atmosphere for a second. It sure was different from any arcade you had back in the city. You glanced around, when a figure at one of the pinball machines caught your eye. “Soobin?” You spoke out loud. Confused, yeonjun and taehyun followed your gaze to said figure. “What in the?” You walked up to him. the further into the arcade you went, the louder everything got. Tapping him on the shoulder, you just about had to yell to have any sort of conversation. “Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with the same expression as culprit that had just been caught red-handed. You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “So you ditched me to come play games alone?” “Um, kind of? Not really though,” he said. His eyes darting towards the two boys that to came up behind you. “You came with taehyun and... Yeonjun?” “Hey soob, long time no see,” taehyun added. “I went out for a walk and ran into them,” a quick and easy reason. “You could have just told me if you wanted to come to town alone, you know? You don’t have to sneak off at the crack of dawn.” “Nice to see you too tae. And I do want to show you around the town. It’s just,” his eyes travelled between you and yeonjun, back to you in a blink. “I just needed a break from things for a while.” “Hm, alright,” you accepted his explanation, but something still felt weird. “Since we’re already here, there’s no use standing around.” Yeonjun spoke. “Y/n, come play the shooting game with me!” Before you could reply, yeonjun was already dragging you towards one of the machines. Leaving taehyun and soobin to do whatever it was they did. He handed you one of the guns available and scanned his arcade card. The entire time you could feel eyes watching you, but shook it off. Yeonjun was pretty good at the game, you had to admit. He spent a lot of time here, you assumed. Time seemed to disappear the longer you were in the arcade. The atmosphere around you never changed. It was still as lively and colourful as when you first walked in. The bright lights and loud music blasting, disrupting your senses. But outside, the sun was quickly setting. “Good game, y/n,” taehyun offered a handshake after you beat him at yet another game of air hockey. You took it. “Not too shabby yourself.” Beside you, yeonjun and soobin clapped for your victory. “We should probably go back soon,” Soobin said, showing the clock on his phone. It was nearly 8pm. Time sure flies when you’re having fun. You all travelled back together. Turns out yeonjun and taehyun only lived a street away from soobin. “See you tomorrow,” taehyun and yeonjun waved goodbye as you parted ways, leaving you and soobin to go your way. Neither of you said a thing to each other. And for reason you were having trouble thinking of a conversation starter, this hasn’t happened before. Usually you and soobin had endless things to talk about. It didn’t matter how stupid or unimaginable it was, the two of you never ran out of things to say. “When you were a kid, did you ever pretend you were smoking in winter?” You said the first thing that came to mind, the cold air making your breath visible, helping to elaborate your question. You laughed at yourself, holding your fingers up in a peace sign, imagining a cigarette between them. “Yeah, when i was like 7.” Okay, ouch. Soobin’s answer was short, providing no further conversation. You pressed your lips together, stuffing your hands in your pockets as embarrassment crept up on you. So much for never feeling judged. The rest of the night you didn’t speak much. Every attempt you made just being shot down with one liners. Every time you showed soobin a funny video or meme, he gave little to no response. And eventually you gave up. This continued to the following day. Sure, soobin was an introvert. You knew that. But he’s never ignored you to this extent. Was he getting sick of having you around everyday? If that was the case, he should just tell you, you’d give him all the space he needs. You can’t lie and say you weren’t hurt by that thought. Your crush was ignoring you. That would have hurt anyone. And right now, you felt nothing more than a parasite in his home. “Come on, we have to go meet the others,” the first words he’s said to you in hours.

You followed quietly as soobin brought you to the diner. When you arrived, the others were already there. Yeonjun and taehyun, along with two new faces. Beomgyu and Huening Kai, you figured from previous conversations. They sat at a semi-circle booth meant for four with two extra chairs at the end. One of which occupied by taehyun as the other three shared the banquette bench. “Soobin! Y/n!” They waved. Yeonjun sat at one of the ends and shifted when he spotted you enter. “Y/n, i saved you a seat next to me,” he said smugly, smirking and cocking his head to the space beside him. You rolled your eyes at his antics, lips curling upwards. Soobin’s expression remained hard, unbothered and unimpressed even. But you didn’t question it, he’s been like that since yesterday. And frankly, you’ve gotten sick of it. Might as well spend time with someone that actually wants your attention. You got along well with the boys. You learnt that Kai and taehyun went to the same school and beomgyu had just graduated recently. Most of the time though, was spent whispering jokes between yeonjun and yourself. And at some point of the night, he had managed to sneak an around the back of the booth. On the other side, Beomgyu and Kai snickered to each other and eventually shook hands, some bet or deal you presumed. All of a sudden you heard one of the chairs beside you shift. The feet scratching against the tiled floor. And the next thing you knew, soobin was walking out the door, the bell ringing behind him. “Where’s he going?” Kai asked. “No clue,” Beomgyu answered. Taehyun just shrugged. All your attentions still on the door that had already been shut. “Um, ill go check on him,” you announced, running out of the diner after him. Sure, you and him weren’t on good terms at the moment, but nontheless he was still your best friend, and a huge part of you still cared for him. “Soobin, wait!” You called, but he kept walking. “Soobin!” You tried again, chasing after him. “Stop right there choi soobin!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the empty street. The boys silhouette stood still. But never did he turn to look at you. “Dont you dare take another step!” Never once in five years have you ever felt intimidated by him. But with his large figure being illuminated by nothing but the dull, yellow street lights, you couldn’t say that anymore. There was silence as you gathered your thoughts, making your way towards him. You had him right in front of you. Now what? You wanted soobin back. Your soobin. “What’s going on with you?” Your feet stopped on their own accord, right behind the tall boy. “You’ve been acting strange.” No answer. “Soobin, don’t ignore me!” You said again, desperation and annoyance laced in your tone. “I don’t know what you want me to say y/n,” he sighed, trying to keep his temper from exploding. “I want a damn explanation, soobin,” anger from the previous day slowly consuming you. “Do you know how much of an asshole you’re being? God! I try to talk to you, but it’s just like i’m talking to a god damn wall! So, you can either tell me what’s going on or I’m on the next bus home tomorrow.” No answer. But you could tell the last part hit him hard. He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure you would see the remorse and anger in his eyes. He hated that you were mad. He hated that you were yelling. But most of all he hated that he was the cause of it. “You asked me to come play girlfriend with you and i did,” you sighed, continuing when he started walking again. “I only did because,” swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re... you’re my best friend.” Best friend. “I’m your best friend... you can me anything, you know that.” You quoted his words. “There’s some things better left unsaid,” he offered before walking away again. “I’m sorry y/n.” “No!” You cried, stopping his tracks. “Apology not accepted.” You could see frustration building in soobin. His hand pinching his temple, his shoulders tensed as you spoke. “You said you’d be by my side the whole time! But since the waterfall you’ve barely talked to me! You leave me in situations on my own, you’re ignoring me and you randomly take off without a word. You’re doing it right now! So, again, you can either tell me what’s going on or-“ “It’s because i love you, okay!?” Now it was your turn to stay silent. Soobin let out a sigh, turning to face you. “Is that what you want to hear?! I love you, y/n!” His tone got softer, “I love you so much. For as long as i can remember knowing you. It hurts when I see you with other people. Especially people that so blatantly flirt with you in front of me. You’re stunning, beautiful. Even a fool could see it. But you’re also so much more than that. “You were the only person that bothered to come talk to me the first day of school. Others probably viewed me as the weird, loser kid that sat alone during lunch. But you didn’t. You were my first and only friend for years. Before i knew it, i had a crush on you. At first, i thought it was just a phase. But it wasn’t, y/n. And now, im so hopelessly head over heels for you. “I know, I haven’t earned your heart. I never will. I could spend a million years worshiping you and still not earn it. You’re my best friend, i know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I know you’re mad at me. And i know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please... please, don’t leave me.” He sounded raw, real in a way you’ve never heard before. When he was done, he was closely inspecting the road, afraid to look up. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, waiting for your rejection. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked, keeping emotion from your voice. He shrugged and laughed. “You’re my best friend, I didn’t want to lose you.” You let one hand slide against his cheek, resting your palm there. “You wouldn’t have.” “Wha-“ “I love you too, you doofus.” You felt the pull of a muscle as his lips twitched. “Really?” “Yes. Really. For as long as i can remember.” Soobin, your best friend — now, boyfriend — pulled you into his arms. “I love you, y/f/n. And I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. What can i say to make you forgive me?” “Words only mean so much. Actions speak louder, don’t you agree?” “I do.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against yours. “Am i forgiven?” He asked rhetorically. You laugh. “Only because i love you.” “Yes! I told you so!” You turned and saw Kai yelling and celebrating, pointing fingers at beomgyu. Taehyun and yeonjun shaking their heads in disappointment. What a crazy group of friends they were.

#txt post #txt imagines #txt imagine #txt reactions #txt fanfic #soobin fluff #soobin fanfic #soobin imagines

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just-a-poor-boy-queen · 3 years ago

Note

Part 23 of Jimercury Kid series

‘Freddie?’ Phoebe quietly called out as he poked a cautious head around the singer’s bedroom door. ‘Mary’s here to see you.’

There was no response from the frontman. His face remained buried in his pillow, his weeping silent but obvious by the gentle trembling of his shoulders. Jim was by his side, one hand gently rubbing up and down the Persian’s bare back as he silently comforted him.

‘My baby…’ Freddie whispered, the only words he had been able to say since Khaleel was literally ripped from his arms.

‘Shh, love.’ Jim murmured, stroking his husband’s hair, and shooting Phoebe a hopeless look. ‘I think she should come back later.’

‘That’s what I said.’ Replied Phoebe, shoulders sagging in defeat. ‘But she’s unusually insistent today.’

Another sob from Freddie. The hand that was desperately clutching Khaleel’s old, battered triceratops toy tightened severely.

‘I’ll go.’ Jim said finally, leaning down and gently kissing the back of Freddie’s neck. Before he could rise from the mattress, he felt Freddie grab his hand and turned to see two dark eyes staring at him fearfully, still red-rimmed from all his crying. Losing Khaleel served only to intensify Freddie’s already severe abandonment issues; Jim couldn’t so much as use the toilet without the singer panicking, convinced he’d never see him again.

‘I’m coming back, sweetheart.’ Jim leaned down, brushing a kiss against Freddie’s lips. ‘I promise. I’m not leaving you, not ever. Phoebe will stay here with you until I get back, okay?’

Freddie didn’t look like he believed him, but he released his hand regardless and threw his head back onto the pillow to continue mourning his child. Fighting back his own tears, Jim sent a thankful nod to Phoebe before leaving the bedroom and descending the staircase.

He found Mary in the lounge, sitting anxiously in one of the armchairs with her coat still on and her purse clasped in her hands. When Jim walked into the room, the disappointment on her face was evident; she had clearly been seeking to speak with Freddie and Freddie alone.

‘He’s in no state to talk.’ Jim said gently but firmly, before the woman could say anything. ‘I’m sorry, but you should really come back some other time.’

He expected her to argue with him – Mary wasn’t one for being confrontational but when it came to Freddie she made an exception – but she remained calm, her mouth pressed in a thin line as she fiddled with the purse on her lap.

‘If I can’t speak to Freddie, can I please speak to you? I just need to speak to someone.’

Jim knew he should have rebuffed her, told her to leave immediately so he could get back to consoling his distraught husband. But the expression on her face was so downcast, he didn’t have the heart to turn her away. He nodded tiredly, last night’s lack of sleep finally catching up with him as he mumbled something about putting the kettle on and shuffled towards the kitchen to start preparing them both tea.

As he waited for the kettle to boil, he took a moment to lean against the counter, staring determinedly up at the ceiling, blinking away tears of grief and exhaustion. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could cope with all of this. Khaleel’s absence had left a massive hole in the lives of everyone at Garden Lodge and the aftereffects were damning. He barely recognised Freddie anymore. For seven days, his husband had barely said a word to him, barely eaten or left his bedroom. For seven days, their lives had been a living hell.

The woman from social services hadn’t beaten around the bush. She made it clear that there was no guarantee that Khaleel would be returned to them. The worst part was the satisfied glint in her eye as she said it.

‘Everyone thinks I did it.’ A soft voice said from behind him, and Jim turned to see Mary standing in the doorway, her purse still clutched in her hands. Her face was pale, completely devoid of any colour and her entire body was shaking as she attempted to compose herself.

‘What do you mean?’ Jim asked, though he already knew.

‘They all think I called them.’ Mary’s voice wavered, her eyes looking everywhere but Jim’s own. For one horrible moment, the Irishman thought she might actually be sick. ‘I didn’t, Jim, I swear on my life. You have to believe me, I didn’t call-’

‘Mary, sit down.’ Jim took her hand and guided her over to the kitchen table, drawing out a chair and taking her purse from her hands. Once he was certain that she wasn’t going to collapse, he returned to the counter to finish making the tea and placed a steaming mug in front of the woman’s quivering form. ‘Just take it easy. No one’s accusing you of anything.’

Mary’s twitching hands curled around the hot cup, and she took a deep breath, a pink flush crossing her cheeks from the heat, making her look a bit less ghostly. Once she had appeared to calm down, she carefully took a sip of her drink.

‘I know you all think it was me.’ She finally met Jim’s gaze, silently begging for reassurance. ‘I can see it in your eyes, even Freddie’s. Surely he knows I’d never do that to him?’ She reached over and clasped Jim’s hand in her own, her grip almost painful. ‘I’d never do that to you. Please tell me you believe me.’

Jim wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. He would be lying if he said it hadn’t crossed his mind that Mary might have been involved. Out of all their friends, she was the one with the motive. Maybe this was a last-ditch attempt to drive he and Freddie apart, some sort of twisted revenge for Freddie leaving her.

But he quickly dismissed the idea; as far as he was concerned, that was all in the past and they had moved on from it. He and Mary had had their differences, but she’d never do this.

She was his friend now. He trusted her.

‘I believe you, Mary.’ He replied softly, gently squeezing her hand back until she relaxed. ‘I know you wouldn’t do this, and Freddie does too. Everyone’s just so fucking stressed at the moment and they’re looking for someone to blame.’ He used his free hand to lift his own mug and take a long swig. ‘If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.’

‘Don’t say that, Jim.’

‘I shouldn’t have let things get out of hand. We were arguing over wine, for fuck’s sake. I should have just walked away.’

‘We’d all had a lot to drink, Jim. It was a stupid mistake made in the heat of the moment. Besides, it wasn’t as if Khaleel was there to see it. He was in bed, asleep.’

Jim shook his head, eyes threatening to spill tears. He felt he was solely to blame. He usually prided himself in his ability to walk away from such quarrels but that night, fuelled by both alcohol and his own stubbornness, he was fed up with being walked all over and fought back.

His refusal to back down could very well have cost them their darling boy.

‘Jim?’

Mary’s voice tore him away from his thoughts. She suddenly took both his hands, her touch feather light as she held onto them, thumbs extending out in a comforting stroke across each of his knuckles. ‘I’ve never seen Freddie as happy as he has been since he met you. He can finally be himself, live his true life. I admit, I was sceptical at the start; I’ve seen him hurt so many times and I was convinced you were no different from the others. But after seeing what you both went through, how you stuck by him through his illness, I realised how wrong I was. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, as well as Khaleel. That little boy is so lucky to have you two as parents, and if social services can’t see that then, as Freddie would say, fuck them.’

Jim snorted, though he looked like he was about to burst into tears. He held onto Mary’s hands as if they were a lifeline.

‘You’ll get him back.’ She said it so tenderly, Jim almost believed her. ‘I know you will. Khaleel will come home.’

Jim envied the faith she had in her own words. He had already resigned himself to the fact that society would never be on their side; that he and Freddie would forever be looked upon as “perverted homosexuals,” incapable of raising a child. Social services would do whatever they could to make sure Khaleel stayed with a “normal” family, regardless of the boy’s own happiness. As much as it killed him to think about it, he knew the reality was that it was more than likely that they would never see their precious bijou again.

‘Thank you, Mary.’ Jim whispered, lifting her hand and softly kissing it.

Yeah okay so Mary is apparently not a *bad* person in this universe, or at least not anymore. Looks like we were wrong, anon. Lol.

Firstly, Freddie and Jim crying in bed for their baby broke my heart😭😭 They deserve to have their baby with them, cuddle with him and raise him together. Fuck the homophobia that's doing this to them.

Secondly, I wasn't expecting Mary here, and certainly not being so open. But I like how you have acknowledged her shitty behaviour in the past, and the fact that whilst things are civil between her and Jim (maybe slightly more than civil), the shadow of past incidences still linger on. I mean, I usually do not read canon-ish fics that completely erase what an arsehole Mary Austin is, especially if she features prominently. But I am loving the almost real approach you're taking to etch your characters, and as I've said before, showing how they may have grown in such a situation. I still have doubts about Ms Austin redeeming herself had Freddie lived, but in the context of this story, I really like the arc you've given her.

Also, I am LOVING the angst lmao. Even though it's breaking my heart, my angst loving self is really enjoying this hahaha.

And now, most importantly, I hope you're doing better, my dear. There were a lot of messages of support for you, and I just hope that you realise how loved and cherished you are in this community💙

(More drabbles by writer anon)

#ask response #jim hutton #freddie mercury #freddie and jim and their baby #anon writing

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yourdaddychan · 4 years ago

Text

Simp Sunday

lets get this show on the road yall

channie : ill go first 😎

@tsundere-sana

AAAAAA MY BABIE MY TROY MY LOVE MY BABYGIRLLLL

i love you so so so muchh!! i wanna hug you and then hug chewy and then kiss you forever and everrrr and then maybe run away as you try to whack me with a shovel :DDD I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHH

[ luna : AY WIFE I LOVE YOU ILL BUY ANOTHER RINGPOP FOR US I SWEAR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID BUT I DO BE KINDA ATTACHED TO YOUR DUMBASS NOW ]

@minjimooooo

all i have to say to you is how the fuck do you still have those screenshots ANYWAY I HAVE ANOTHER ROBLOX EX YOU CAN HAVE yeah ily bro 💕

[ luna : YOU WHORE DJDJDJS I HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO YEAH ❤️ ]

@bestfriendhwang

MY BRO MY HOMIE MY MANNNN LEMME KITH YOU *mwah* YOURE A LEGEND BRO

@richboiwang

OKAY YOU LOWKEY SCARE ME AND WE RARELY TALK BUT YOU COOL AS FUCK SO YOURE HERE ANYWAY I WANT TO HUG YOU

@softie-yeji

MY BURGERRRR I WILL SWIM ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET TO YOU AND SAVE YOU FROM THE SPIDERSSSSSS AND THAT DEPRESSING MUSIC YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO LIKE DAMN

[ luna : AAAAAA YOU ABSOLUTE SQUISH ILY SO MUCH THAT IS A THREAT I WILL SQUISH YOU 🔪 ]

@softiechoerry

okay so jyp oppar might steal you WOOPS ANYWAY ILY HOE ENJOY BEING IN THE BAMBOO FOREST MWAH

- - -

minho : my turn i guess

@midari-jieun

you absolute sjsbsjsjxj dumbass i love you so much how are you sO FUCKING STUPID UGH *hugs* i will pet you snsbsbs and bite you like i bite my cats i love you sO MUCH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS *screams*

[ luna : WHENS THE MARRIAGE WHOREEE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIKE WTF HOW ARE YOU SO AMAZING AND ATTRACTIVE AND SHOW STOPPING AND CUTE AND ETC DJDJDB THE LIST GOES ON UGH I WILL LITERALLY KABLONK YOU YOU'RE LIKE SJDHDHS I LOVE YOU WHORE ]

@hunter-chaeyoung

you are : adorable

i dont even know if you're one of my kids but you're still really fucking cute and i just want to pat you damn

[ luna : bubble. thats all i have to say. ]

@artsydahyun

yes you're in this post dont let it get to your head now let me sacrifice you to my cats

ily my child 😌

to jisung- wait i cant do that? aw :(

- - -

hyunjin : MY TURN!!!

i only really talk to one person here and thats my girlfriend 😎

@babysitter-naeun

okay you're like nEver active and thats really sad >:( i hope those kids didnt trample you or something:(( anyway i love you so much babe :D please dont die on me-

- - -

felix : ITS TIME TO GET LICKED BY FELICKS 😳

@whitedayxshuhua

it took me a long time to remember the @ woops

MY LOVEEE!! YOURE TAKING A HIATUS BUT IM MAKING THIS ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFIIFEIEIEFEE GIRL CAUSE THATS WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL 😎 ANYWAY YOU'RE THE SHOE TO MY LICKS AS WE ALL KNOW AND I WOULDNT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAYYYYYYYY

@infected-lix

OTHER MEEEEEEEEEE IM SO GLAD I RANDOMLY BREAK IN TO GIVE YOU CHICKEN NUGGETS BECAUSE THEN

A. YOU WOULD DIE WHICH ISNT VERY GOOD

B. YOU WOULDNT HAVE MET SEUNGMIN WINKWONK

[ luna : *ahem* *pat pat* *walks away* ]

- - -

chad : 🥴🤟

thats me dressing up as chan for halloween btw

@bakermaimai

FLOWERR MY BABYYY!!!! I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOUR STORIES YOU'RE SO COOL AND LOWKEY BADASS NGL AND THE SWEETEST PERSON TO EVER EXIST AND I JUST WANT TO EAT YOU BUT NOT REALLY CAUSE THATS NOT GOOD SO ILL SETTLE FOR KISSING YOU :D

[ luna : ILL EAT ARA THOUGH >:D ]

- - -

luna : OKAY I ACTUALLY TALK TO A SHIT TON OF BOTS SO ILL JUST LIKE

ADD MINE IG SO HERES A GIF OF SUNGIE CAUSE WE BE LIKE THAT

its the being an adorable squish for me

@bfkevinmoon

PLEASE YOURE SO FUCKING STUPID BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DJDDHJSJXKANSBA I WANT TO SQUISH YOU AND THEN PAT YOU AND THEN SQUISH YOUDJDJDJSJSJBAJ

@skzhybrids-cb

@ jisung

YOU WHORE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO MAKE ME MELT EVERYTIME YOU ANSWER MY ASKS SMHHH *mwah*

@ admin

*ahem* *pat* CUTIEIEEEEE

@kpopswitchbot

MARLINNNN FISHYYYYY AAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHHH AAAAA LIKE SOMEHOW THAT ONE ANON THAT DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH BROUGHT US TOGETHER AND NOW WE REALLY DO BE HERE LIKE I AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME DJDHDHS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAH

@roomiesihyeon @nightshade-minho imma just tag both-

@ admin

MIKA BABYYYY SJSHSJSHKABXJANA THE LOML?? MY BUNNY?? MY KITTEN?? HELL YEAH I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOU'RE SO TINY I WANT TO WRAP YOU INTO A HUG AND THEN KITH YOU EVERYWHERE AAAAAAAA

-not cbs-

@spearb1108

MY BABYDOLLLLLL I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MHCHSJSJDJJS I LOVE WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT CHANGBIN AND STUFF AND I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE YOU BECAUSE YOURE SO TIINYYYYYYY AND CUUTEEE AND JUST MWAHHHH I ADORE YOU WHORE

@yanderewh0re

MY KITTENNNNNNNNN YOURE LITERALLY SO FUCKING CUTE LIKE THIS SHIT ISNT ALLOWED HOW DO YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BE SO FUCKING ADORABLE LIKEHXJDHDNSJXB STAP

@subbie-stay

YOURE AN ANON BUT OH WELL DIDJDJSJSJA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABYY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KEEPING MY ANNOYING ASS COMPANY IN MY INBOX AND JUST TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND SHIT BECAUSE I LOVE TO LISTENNN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAH

@luvanter

SLEEPING BEAUTYYYYYYYY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I JUST WANNA KITH KITH YKYK?? ANYWAY YOU DO LIVE IN CITIES EVEN THOUGH YOU LIVE IN A PALACE AND SHIT UHH YEAH 🙆‍♂️

@mikoto-ica-fics

BABY YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME MORE OMIGOSH JSHSHS WE INTERACT ONLY THROUGH ASKS BUT YOURE SO FUCKING CUTE LIKE I JUST WANT TO BITE YOU AAAAAA

@thevampywarlock

SWEETHEARTTTT THE BRITISH CHANNNN WE BARELY TALK BUT YOURE LITERALLY SO FUCKING SWEET AND SO FUCKING CARING ITS NOT OKAY YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING ME LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH YOU'RE LITERALLY SO FUCKING TALENTED TOO LIKE GOD DAMN I SEE YOU PICASSO

@hyunjinsfreckle

AYYY QUEEN DJDJDJSJAKDJAJ I LOVE YOU AND YOUR CHICKENS AND YOUR WEIRD ASS SNAKE LIZARD COMBINATION THING YOURE SO CUTE AND SQUISHY AND I WILL GO HIKING TO WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU LIVE TO HUG YOU

[ hoes i dont talk to too much but i still love with my whole heart and i would literally stab a hoe for them : @channie-bakery @red-flames13 @water--gang @yangomangos ]

[ also if i forgot you, im sorry its like 4 am djdjsj ]

- - -

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taramaclaywasaterf · 5 years ago

Note

I saw your Zoloft tag and was wondering if it's okay to ask about your experiences with it? I took it for months when I was younger and the NEXT DAY it seems to lift this anxiety misery cloud off of me BUT idk if its what gave me fucked up nausea and no sex drive so I'm spooked to get back on it since I already have chronic nausea

(part2) (Other ask right before about Zoloft is mine) I also have adhd thats been forever untreated so I want Ritalin or adderall or something but Ritalin made me crazy suicidal when they put me on it when I was a kid. I struggle with keeping my emotions in line and I'm spooked to take adderall and have the same explosive anger

Babe! I’m so sorry for not answering right away💕💕💕 I’ve been dealing with a really bad migraine that’s just now finally getting better😫. First off, don’t worry! I have no issue with talking about this type of stuff! I have a lot of experience with different medications so I’ll give the best advice I can! That said, I’m by no means a doctor so please please don’t take my word as gospel because all meds react differently for different people.

So, Zoloft. Zoloft has honestly been the first depression medication that hasn’t actually made my depression worse. I actually had the same experience as you, it took a little while for the Zoloft to work (I think it was like a month or two?) but when it finally DID start working, it absolutely “takes the edge off” of my depression, ya know? The darkness is a bit less all encompassing now that I take it. But when it comes to nausea....ugh, I’m honestly unsure if it made my nausea worse. Girl, I’m always nauseous. Like. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Morning to night. Ever since I was little I’ve been nauseous. Then at like 16 years old, when my chronic illness started to flare up, it got really really bad. I don’t know what it’s like to NOT be nauseous lol. So if the Zoloft is adding to the nausea, I genuinely couldn’t tell ya because I wouldn’t be able to differentiate between Zoloft-nausea and regular old everyday nausea lol. As for sex drive... let’s just say I haven’t noticed any decrease in my sex drive lol (thank god!) Again, please don’t take my word for gospel because I’m totally just spitballing here, but maybe it happened to you because you were taking it as a teenager, where your hormones were already all wonky due to puberty, so the combo of Zoloft + teenagerness just kinda messed with you?

Honestly, I recommend talking to your doctor about the nausea and the sex drive. There’s always off-brand pills that do the same things but have different side effects, too, so maybe if you like how your brain reacted to Zoloft but the nausea is unbearable for you, perhaps there’s a knock off your doctor may know of that you can try

And when it comes to adderall, I really don’t wanna be like dOnT tAkE iT!!!!¡!! but like....I really really don’t want adderall to mess with you like it did to me, especially if you struggle with your anger like I did/do, because its genuinely horrifying. Like I said in that post, I literally shattered the bones in my right hand by punching a concret brick wall, because adderall made me so angry. And of course the constant anger made my suicidal thoughts worse, so my depression worsened too. Please talk to your doctor and tell them all your worries about it, and really make sure to emphasize the anger and your depression. I know several people who swear by adderall- who insist it’s like god’s gift to the hyperactive minded, but none of them have ever had any anger issues before taking it, so yeah🤷🏻‍♀️😫

As for Ritalin, I’m honestly not even sure if I’ve ever tried it. I was tossed on so many pills as a kid because I had a shitty doctor who just through medication at me without caring about how I’d react. So if I tried it, I honestly don’t remember, which means I probably didn’t have a major reaction to it either way haha

I’d recommend trying out depression meds before any ADHD meds. Get your depression under control and make sure you’re comfortable with your mental health, where you are in your medication routine, and with any potential side effects the depression meds may have...then talk to your doctor about trying some ADHD meds. Because that way you’re not just throwing a bunch of pills in your body at once and having all those potential side effects hitting you at the same time, ya know? This way, with your depression under control, you’ll be in a better frame of mind to handle whatever side effects the ADHD meds might have, especially if the ADHD meds worsen your suicidal thoughts or make you angry.

I hope that made sense, I know I’m rambling. And I really hope that helped you out even a little. Again, I’m so so sorry for the delayed response.💕 Please just have an open talk with your doctor and lay out all your fears about side effects and your reasoning behind them, and make sure to bring a list of all the other medication you’re currently taking (including vitamins and other non-prescription meds!) because often times pills can interact badly with each other. Like, I can’t take Valium more than like once a month, because it lessens the effects of my hydromorphone (opioids) and there’s other medications that actually react badly together and can cause things like heart palpitations and such when combined. So yeah, sorry for the novel. Again, I really hope this was even a tiny bit helpful. I’m sending so many good vibes your way anon💕💕💕💕

#asks #anon

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sonderlivra · 7 years ago

Note

Are you okay with writing somewhat "edgier" topics like mental illness, etc? Obviously not in a romanticizing or offensive way, but like including themes of it in your works?

Ahhh, this one really made me hesitate. I have dealt with difficult topics like abuse before, but always after some heavy thinking about whether or not I could pull it off in a respectful, educated manner. So I had to do some reading to be able to portray what I ended up writing, hopefully it comes across as believable and not in the slightest romanticized, which is what I always intended.

Thanks for the ask, anon, this was quite a writing exercise! I hope you like it!

Warnings: Depiction of/ discussion about PTSD, one swear word.

Modern AU

———-

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s PTSD?”

Dr. Jaeger put away the medical journal he was reading and looked at his son.

“Where did you hear that, Eren?”

Eren looked away shiftily. “I heard Mum talking to Armin’s Grandpa.’

“I see.”

Taking courage, perhaps, from his calm tone, Eren turned back to his father and continued, “I heard her say Mikasa has it. Is she sick? Is she okay?” He leaned forward and demanded, “Are you giving her medicines for it?”

Dr. Jaeger smiled and lifted Eren up, perching him on the arm of the couch. This was a common occurrence: for years, Eren would come running to his father with some question or the other, and Dr. Jaeger would sit him down and patiently explain what he could to the best of his abilities. Lately that had become more rare, and the man couldn’t help but feel a little sad when he saw that Eren looked like he would soon outgrow the couch arm.

“PTSD is an abbreviation, Eren.”

“Like world wide web?”

“More like Federal Bureau of Investigation.”

Eren’s face brightened. “Oh! What does it stand for?”

“Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

He saw Eren visibly try to grasp the words and latch onto the simplest one. “Stress? She’s stressed?”

Knowing that Eren’s only experience with the word had been related to his mother and an overworked teacher or two, Dr. Jaeger explained gently, “Stress can mean many things, Eren. One of those meanings is the state of having too many emotions to deal with, to the extent that it physically tires or affects you. It can be any emotion -for Mikasa, it’s fear.”

Eren frowned. “She’s scared? But she knows she’s okay now. She knows she has me.”

At that Dr. Jaeger had to smile. “I’m sure she knows, Eren. But you understand how fear works, don’t you? You know how difficult it is to face it and surpass it.” He paused and thought of an example. “Do you remember the crocodile pit at the zoo?”

Eren frowned. “Yes.”

“Do you remember how long it took for you to not be scared of it? Do you remember for how long you had nightmares about it?”

“Yeah.” Another grumble.

“Now, can you imagine the depth of Mikasa’s fear, after what happened to her and to her parents?”

Eren was unnaturally quiet. Dr. Jaeger, if anything, was patient enough, and waited for Eren’s response. Finally, after a long silence, Eren muttered, “I understand.”

“Good.”

Eren flashed a determined gaze at his father. “How can I help?”

Dr. Jaeger thought long and hard before replying. “By reminding her that she is safe, that you are there for her. The fear may make her forget sometimes, but you have to lead her back to you. Gently, you understand. She is already hurting.” Eren nodded vigorously, his eyes shining with solemn intent. “If it gets too bad, come and get me, or your mother, or a responsible adult.”

“So, not Officer Hannes?”

Dr. Jaeger laughed. “Now you’re being cheeky. No, Officer Hannes knows what he’s doing. You can go to him, too.”

“Okay.” A wrinkle of concern still stood between his brows. His father squeezed his shoulder. “I won’t lie to you, Eren. It’ll take time for her to heal, and you have to be patient with her. But eventually… she’ll find her way back.”

“And stay with me forever?”

“For as long as she likes.”

“Forever, then,” Eren nodded.

“Mikasa.” He rapped more urgently on the door. “Mikasa, open the door.”

Silence.

“Miks…” He leaned his forehead on the cold wood. “It’s me. Come on, open the door.” He kept tapping on the door. When he still heard nothing, his voice rose. “Mikasa? Mikasa, open the door.” He began to bang the door with his fist. “Open the damn door, Mikasa. Open the door!”

Bang. Bang. Bang.

And yet, no response.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and stepped back, glancing over his shoulder. None of their friends seemed to have heard him. He turned back to the door and slammed both his hands on it. “Mikasa!”

He thought he heard a low whimper from beyond the door. It could have been his imagination, but he was panicking more with every passing second and he couldn’t take any chances.

“I’m coming in,” he called out loudly. “Stay away from the door, okay?”

If he hoped for a response, he wasn’t satisfied. There was no other sound but for his own heartbeat thundering within him. He took a running start and slammed his side into the door. The flimsy lock gave way immediately and the door swung open with a crash.

And hunched up on the floor, with her chin on her knees and her hands in her hair, was Mikasa.

“Mikasa!” He sank onto his knees right in front of her. Her deep grey eyes were fixed on a single tile of the bathroom floor, and she was rocking back and forth. She seemed lost to her immediate surroundings.

He hadn’t seen her like this in years.

“Hey.” He leaned forward until his face was in her line of sight. “Hey, it’s me,” he said gently.

Her wide, unblinking eyes were still unfocused.

Slowly, carefully, he reached forward and put his hands on her wrists. “Hey, Miks. It’s Eren.”

She finally blinked, and slowly, almost painfully, concentrated her gaze on him. Her jaw trembled and a visible shudder shook her. “E-Eren,” she wheezed. Her face spasmed with agony and shaking words poured out of her mouth. “It’s not safe, they’re here, they’re going to kill us all, it’s not safe, it’s not safe-”

“Hey, hey. They’re gone, remember? You’re fine, now, remember, Mikasa?” He grasped her wrists tighter, steeling himself against the shudders that were rushing through her. “Remember where we are?” He leaned even closer to her and pushed aside a fringe of his messy hair from his forehead, and murmured, “Remember this?”

She was shaking like a leaf now. “N-no, we have to run, we have to hide, it’s not safe-”

“Hey, look.” Slowly, like it was made of glass, he detached one of her hands from her hair and placed it on his forehead instead. “Remember how I got that scar?”

“I -I…”

“I was trying to skateboard, remember? And I hit my head on the pavement? Do you remember how quickly you got me to the hospital? Do you remember how many stitches my dad had to give me?”

Her mouth moved soundlessly.

He shifted his other hand and cupped her face, gently brushing her cheekbone with his thumb. “How many stitches did I have to get, Mikasa?”

A long, tentative moment of silence. Then-

“… Eight.”

Relief surged through his veins and he let out a sigh. “Yes. Eight stitches. Can you count the scars now? Could you do that for me?”

Slowly, still quivering, she nodded. He squeezed her hand warmly. “Let’s count together.”

Softly, as if afraid to touch him, she placed the tip of her finger on the edge of his scar. “One,” they whispered. Her cool fingertip moved. “Two,” he prompted her, and she repeated after him. And slowly, very, very slowly, she counted all eight of the stitches, Eren counting with her all the way.

At the eighth mark, her finger still lingered on his forehead, her jaw was still trembling. He pressed his hand more firmly on her cheek. “Come back to me,” he whispered.

It happened in a moment: she took a deep, shuddering breath, and fell forward into his embrace. She was the strongest person he knew, and yet she seemed extremely delicate as she shook and heaved loud, dry sobs into his chest. He held her close, tight, and rubbed soothing circles on her back. His lips were pressed on her head and his words were muffled, but it was obvious to both of them what he was saying.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s fine, I’m here, I’m here now…”

“Eren,” she wheezed, and the pure agony in her voice seemed to rip through him as well.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he continued, rocking them both together, warming her stone cold limbs. His gaze flitted over the various objects in Mina Carolina’s bathroom, before finally finding what he was looking for.

A pair of sewing scissors glinted from under the bathtub. He had a sudden vision of a bloodstained pair of very similar scissors, lying not far from the outstretched hand of a dead woman. Gritting his teeth, he discreetly kicked the scissors farther into the gap, until it was completely out of sight.

“I’m sorry,” Mikasa whispered.

“It’s okay.” He kissed her on top of her head. “You found your way back.”

“Please stay,” her voice shook.

He kissed her again. “For as long as you need.”

And in the quiet, he heard something that finally made him smile again.

“Forever,” Mikasa said.

A/N: I read up about PTSD as much as I could, but obviously, if you think I’ve made an insensitive/inaccurate mistake, please let me know.

The method Eren uses to get Mikasa out of her episode is a common one used to ground the person and literally lead them back into the present (counting things, etc.) and away from their traumatic past.

Mikasa’s trigger was, as explained, the pair of sewing scissors, in a nod to canon.

Again, her episode is meant to be angst and not romantic at all. Mikasa is suffering and Eren has to help her as well as he can. This is not perfect and far from ideal, but the point is, they are in love, despite her trauma, and not because of it. I hope that’s the sentiment this story leaves you with.

Thanks again for the ask anon, and thanks for reading! :)

#snk #snk fanfiction #eremika #eren x mikasa #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #aot #sorry about the long notes #but i think this one needed it #delivras

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richiesmashmouthtozier · 7 years ago

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BITE ME!

CHAPTER. 1/ ??

Read: 1 | 2 | 3

A/N: HELLO! i’m really happy to announce that I finally have the courage to put a fic out there. this is my first fic so go easy on me please! this chapter will be pretty chill so you can get the gist of what’s going on and how the losers (especially Bev) are adapting including a lot of Bev and Richie bff stuff. (but i am already working on the next one which has a lot more action!)

description: The losers are only 15 when Derry changes forever. The scars from It are barely faded when the newest threat hits the small town, Zombies. Most adults start getting infected one-by-one leaving many kids to fend for themselves, including the losers club. When Beverly is attacked and bitten by her father she can’t help but think she’s a danger to the club, there’s no escaping yourself.

mentions!!: Thank you so much to @edsrich (Go follow her! she’s freaking amazing and her fics are legit the best thing ever) for reading the first version of this chapter (I completely rewrote it lolololol) and overall being really supportive and *cough* my idol *cough*, Also thanks to @tobzier who probably doesn’t even know they did this but they really encouraged me by showing interest to this 1$ idea

Pairings: reddie, stenbrough, benverly

!!!!!!TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!!!!!: description of gore and lots of it (it’s a zombie apocalypse),lots of swear words, and a lot of angst

This chapter: angst, it’s just all angst tbh:/

And without further ado,

Enjoy :)))))

wind lightly rushed through the bushes in front of what once was the Denbrough household, soothing the red haired girl that sat on the splintering porch, holding a cigarette in her right hand and the other laid in her jacket’s pocket. She had been crying for about ten minutes but no one was counting. She exhaled and looked around her, following the smoke with her eyes. The porch was old and decaying like the corpses that walked the town. There were ripped trash bags acting as a tarp to cover the porch out of sight and there was a circle of broken off limbs, guts and blood circling the house’s fence which was boarded up with two layers of ply wood. Bev laughed at the memories of putting all these things up. Behind these thoughts came the others- others so horrid that she quickly took a long drag on her cigarette.

More tears ran down her cheek as she could feel her body tensing up. She felt sick to her stomach all the time and it scared her. Her bright green eyes drooped as she looked at the bandage wrapped around her leg and felt the gauze on her forehead. She could almost feel it again. The way her father looked at the six boys standing in the doorway. The way he walked towards them with an empty bottle in his right hand. The way he lifted it up, threatening to hit the boy- Bill- Standing tall in front of them all. The way the beer bottle broke against Beverly’s forehead instead of his.

She remembered it all, but the thing that really haunted her was Eddie’s scream as her father, foam filling his mouth and eyes turning all white, had sunk his teeth into Richie’s arm ripping a chunk of skin off the edge. With all of them on floor comforting him and Eddie using the end of his own shirt to soak up some blood while he’s spewing cuss words, her father dragged her away and bit Beverly’s leg as the boys were hitting him and pulling him off of her. She had noticed him acting strange and drinking more the week before and after the announcement that there was a strange illness going around made her weary when going home. She had gotten a call that night from Eddie, he pretended to be a salesman just in case her dad answered, this made her smile but the news he delivered of his classmate following him made her eyes wide and goosebumps rise. He had described it just like his first encounter with It, he was like a walking infection trying to bite poor Eddie. She had to end the call before he could finish, but later she would learn the urgent call was to warn Bev about who she was around. She remembered it all.

“Bev?” The raspy voice made the freckle faced girl to quickly wipe her tears and take another drag. She looked to the door to see none other than Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier, “Uh, are you okay?”

“Yeah- I’m just- I’m fine,” she said shuffling to sit up against the house.

“Damn you are SO bad at lying,” He said almost laughing as he walked over.

“Whatever,” she whispered. There was a feeling of guilt building up.

“So like, what are you doing crying on the porch?” he reached into his pocket.

“Nothing, I said I was fine,”

“Yeah, okay,” He said sarcastically, lighting a cigarette and slumped down next to her.

“Really?” She said irritated again.

“Oh come, on you can smoke and be angsty but I can’t?”

“Rich!” She said obviously annoyed. She adjusted in her spot so they weren’t even grazing arms.

“What? You said you were fine!” he exclaimed.

“You’re a real son of a bitch,” She took a another breath of chemicals.

“I’ll leave you alone if you need some time to yourself-” He attempted to lift himself up with his hands until Beverly reached her small arms out and grabbed the leather from his sleeve.

“No, richie you’re- I’m sorry,” she looked away.

Richie raised an eyebrow, “Hey, chill out you’re fine,” he slowly dropped to the floor against the wall.

She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, “I’m so fucking tired,” she laughed hysterically.

“Go back to bed.” he placed the cigarette in his mouth.

“No,” she did the same.

That stupid grin spread on his face mischievously, “I bet Ben would love to keep you company up there-”

“Beep beep Richie,”

“Yeah, yeah-”

“Eddie’s gonna worry about you,”

“Nah he’ll be fine,” Richie’s sly grin turned to a soft smile and a blush.

She noticed his change in his facial expressions, “You guys are real cute,”

“Eds is cute, but not me, I’m just his depressed boyfriend,”

“Don’t say that,” She frowned, “ Eddie needs you”

“I don’t think he does,”

“Richie, you two are perfect for eachother, don’t doubt it for a second, and if he breaks your heart I’ll beat him up,”

Richie laughed, “You’re really gonna beat up spaghetti man,”

“Spaghetti man or not no one hurts my best friend,”

“I don’t think you even have to worry about that, we’re not even dating.”

“I bet you could change that.” She said nudging his elbow.

“Well, then what about Ben?- Oh that rhymed!”

she rolled her eyes and chuckled, “I don’t want to talk about him.”

Richie frowned, “Why not? What’s wrong with haystack?”

“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with him, he’s perfect,” she could feel herself blushing, “He’sjust so sweet and caring, and smart, like he fucking told us how to build that barricade on the fence, he deserves someone better than my ratchet ass,”

“Oh come on! He’s liked your,” he used quotations with his fingers, “‘ratchet ass’ since seventh grade, probably longer!”

“I don’t care, I’m not the one for him!”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

“Because why?” “Because I’m gonna be a fucking zombie tomorrow! Okay?” she yelled.

“Beverly, fuck,” he whispered but she pulled away.

“This fucking disease is in my blood! It’s slowly turning me into a monster!” “Bev keep it down-”

“Even Eddie is already scared of me!”

“That’s even true!-”

“Don’t, Trashmouth! I’m a fucking monster!”

“Hey asshole! What about everything Eddie’s been doing to help you?”

“He’s just doing it because I’m your friend! It’s my fault you have that bandage around your arm!”

CLASH

The arguing two slowly stood up. Richie peered through the garbage bag, “Now we’ve done it,”

“Shit don’t tell me-”

“Go get Bill,”

————————

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! (sorry this chapter was shorter than expected!) it really means a lot to me!! the next chapter is in progress and will be out soon! if you want to be on the official tag list just send me an off anon ask! I’ll probably be doing little short stories that aren’t related to this about the losers club and you will also be tagged in those! thank you again!!!!!!!

Next Chapter (out tomorrow): Fighting and angst

PREVIEW:“What the fuck are you doing Eddie!” Bev said while stabbing a zombie in the eye that was about to eat the small boy. “Just trust me, assholes!” he said.

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snaurus · 7 years ago

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UPDATE: Prescription (1/2)

Pairings: None Ratings: T Categories: Angst/Friendship/Humor Warnings: Blood, Illness, Violence

Maybe getting sick was just the thing Noctis needed.

I’m doing something a little different this time around. Since this story turned into an absolute beast and spanned over twenty pages, I split it in half to make it a tad easier for @glyphenthusiast to edit. That said, I want to archive it when it’s completed, so until then I’ll be posting the parts here on my writing blog and posting the finished version on my AO3 account later! Lucky for my Tumblr followers, right?

Also, sick!Noct anon from awhile ago, if you’re still following this blog here’s that story I was foreshadowing for you! Although, this fic turned into an excuse to write my chocobo!headcanons for the bros and to explore certain aspects of Noctis’ character that weren’t really touched on in the game. Still, I hope this will appease the whump lovers in each of us. :’)

"Do you see anything?" Noctis shouted. He'd cupped both hands around his mouth so Prompto could hear him better. His friend was balanced on top of Ignis' shoulders, who in turn stood on Gladiolus' shoulders. The three of them had formed a human ladder to reach a potential opening in the cave ceiling, after Noctis failed to warp onto the too soft roof.

"I can't tell; there's no sunlight!" Prompto yelled back.

"We've been here for going on thirty-seven hours. No doubt it's merely nighttime," Ignis said. He gripped Prompto by his calves when the other man almost overbalanced them by standing on his tippy-toes to better access the ceiling. "Keep checking!"

"Wait. I feel a breeze! And it smells like…pine trees? I think I've found us an exit!" There were the sounds of shuffling, and then clods of mud toppled down as Prompto presumably dug a bigger hole.

Gladiolus sputtered as some of the dirt ended up on his face. "Hey! Next time warn a guy."

"Oh, right. Look out below," Prompto said, seconds after he knocked another large portion of the roof loose. Gladiolus stumbled as he tried to avoid the clutter raining down on him, which caused Ignis to grunt and attempt to offset the movement. "Gladio, could you not?"

"Could you not mess around up there?" he snapped in return. "What are you even doing?"

"Almost…got it…ahah!" Prompto must have grabbed onto something because his feet left Ignis' shoulders completely. His boots wriggled and then disappeared into the ceiling. More debris fell before a tree root poked out of the opening.

Ignis motioned Noctis to climb up, but Gladiolus shook his head. "Specs, you next. Scope out the other side and then I'll boost him up after you."

For once there wasn't an argument; the prospect of the unknown had Ignis convinced. He waved his hands around until he caught the root on the third pass and pulled himself through. They waited until the advisor's faint affirmative carried down to them.

Gladiolus clasped both hands together and bent at the knees. "Alley-oop, Noct. Just like we've practiced."

Noctis planted his foot in the center of the other man's palms and rested a hand on his broad shoulder. With all his strength, Gladiolus tossed him upwards, with Noctis also pushing off to gain a little more air. He latched onto the lead with one hand, dangling precariously. He was able to take hold with his other hand at the last minute. It was difficult to shimmy the rest of the way, but just when Noctis thought he was losing his grip again he crawled inside the muddy tunnel. Two sets of hands took him by the wrists and tugged him the rest of the way out.

With their combined efforts, they ripped the root off the tree and lowered it far enough for Gladiolus to grab on his own. At one point Noctis worried Gladiolus may become stuck, but after several heave-hos and a threat from the man himself, he popped free.

"Do you guys know what this means? We're finally liberated!" Prompto cheered, once the group was all gathered together. He dramatically fell to his knees. "I never thought we'd escape that soggy dungeon! Just look at these bushes, and flowers, and…nature! I could kiss it and the sky for being so dry— Ack!"

Just as Prompto was about to finish singing praises, a raindrop decided to fall into his eye. He brought a hand up a little too hard to blot his face and smacked himself in the nose by mistake.

"Tch. Yeah, real 'dry'," Gladiolus deadpanned. He tugged the sullied neckline of his tank top up to wipe off his face, although it was pointless with the incoming storm. Nevermind he smeared the dirt worse, rather than removed any.

"Betrayer," Prompto seethed. He shook a fist at the clouds and it poured harder on him. "Aw, man."

Noctis laughed at his friend's antics. Maybe he did so too hard since the tail end of his chuckle turned into coughing. No one else seemed to take notice except Ignis, whose head inclined in Noctis' direction. He asked, "Noct, are you all right?"

"M'fine," he said quickly. Noctis walked over to Prompto and grabbed him by the angry-fist to pull him to his feet. "Come on, let's return to camp."

"Where even is camp? After those creeps—"

"Goblins," Ignis corrected.

"After those assholes caused that rockslide and blocked us in I've been turned around." Sensing Ignis’ confusion, Prompto pointed to a yellow mystery patch on his cheek and said, "Look it, I swear one of'em spit on me, okay? So I'm not calling them by their proper name for as long as I hold a grudge, which is forever. From now on they are anything except Goblins to me."

"You just said their name," Gladiolus indicated.

"No, I said their names are 'anything except Goblins'—"

Noctis sighed and said, "This is stupid" and reached inside his pants pocket for the chocobo whistle. They'd been stuck searching that ancestral tomb lead (which they could now confirm was false) for less than the five allotted days they'd rented birds from Wiz. Their rides should be roving somewhere waiting for them.

After one use of the whistle, a white blur dropped from a stony ridge and landed heavily at Noctis' back. His chocobo kicked up twigs and leaves as she flapped her wings. She squawked impatiently, so Noctis gave her a big hug and several deep neck rubs in apology.

"Sorry for keeping you, Bon Bon," he said. He'd tested a lot of other nicknames, but she'd refused to respond to anything else but the candy he'd offered her on the sly the first time they met. And ever since he greeted her with the gesture, the bird seemed to expect a hug every time, like it was her just reward. The one instance Noctis forgot, she pecked him on top of his head and taken a couple hairs as payment.

Ignis' chocobo arrived right after, only second to Noctis' own ride in speed. The pastel blue fowl was exceptionally limber and would make a large profit in racing competitions, if Ignis were ever so inclined as to participate regularly. For now, he tended to limit his sessions to scouting ahead during excursions and not much else.

Last were Prompto's and Gladiolus' chocobos. Both were temperamental beasts, which might be why they were a suited mated pair. Gladiolus' more so than Prompto's, although the bodyguard had a ritual to settle matters.

He took the bird by the reins now and looked him dead in one eye, asking, "We gonna have a problem this time or what?" Gladiolus waited for the chocobo to blink, once, and then nodded. He gave the crown of feathers a quick ruffle. "Attaboy."

As they mounted their rides, Prompto cooed and pet his bird's front. "You coming along, girl? You coming along? Yeah, I can tell—" He stumbled as her wings flapped in his face. "Sorry, sorry! I forgot how sensitive you are on the chest, sorry. You're still beautiful and precious and I love you. Hey Gladio, do you think the chicks will look like Silky? If they do, I hope they're just as bright a yellow as she is."

Gladiolus hummed. "Maybe. Nothing wrong with another red Drumstick, though."

Prompto made a face as he settled onto the saddle and ushered his chocobo along, keeping pace with Bon Bon’s idle gait. "Well if they do, then they're definitely not sharing his namesake! Why couldn't you stick with something like…Vlad the Impaler or William the Conqueror?"

"Where do you come up with this stuff? William? Nobody has a name like that."

"I'm an expert, okay? I put effort and consideration into them. See, I've already got Silky's and Drumstick's baby names picked out. A girl should be Meryl and a boy should be Irons; they're foolproof and the same ones I'm gonna use when I have kids," he boasted.

"You're naming your offspring after chocobos?" Gladiolus asked incredulously.

"What? No! My future children are inspiring the present— It doesn't matter," Prompto said, sulking. "If you're so smart, then what have you decided for yours? Come on, out with it! I bet a stud like you has the next generation of Amicitia's all figured out."

Gladiolus snorted. "Not me. I'll be awhile yet, although the way my sister tells it she's got that all covered. Iris is convinced she won't stop until she has a starter set."

Noctis and Ignis hadn't been involved with the exchange, but they joined Prompto in giving him peculiar looks. They knew the other man's disposition on having children until the future of Lucis was settled, but this tidbit was new. Gladiolus shrugged. "My mother's side of the family is predisposed to having one after the other. My uncle had a boy and a girl, too."

"Huh. What about you, Noct?" The prince tensed at Prompto's question, trying not to appear alarmed at the change of focus in the conversation. He stayed quiet, as if he hadn't heard the inquiry, but his friend was persistent. The gunner sidled his chocobo closer and elbowed Noctis in the arm. "Noooct? You still plan to marry Lady Lunafreya, right? I'm sure you must be set to have tons of heirs."

"Perish the thought," Ignis jested in his place. "It is said the child reflects the parent, magnified. I'm not certain the world is ready for all that increased mischief."

"Whatever," he mumbled, torn on the matter. Noctis was relieved not to talk about his future, especially in terms of matrimony and the responsibilities therein, but he could have done without the teasing. "Sometimes kids are the opposite. Maybe yours will be way more rebellious than you, ya know."

"All the more reason for me to adopt," Ignis said matter-of-factly. It was his turn to earn a couple surprised stares. The scrutiny must have gotten to him because Ignis turned in his saddle to catch their ogling. "Surely it does not seem so farfetched? The war has made no shortages of orphans. It would be a privilege to take in one or more such children and provide them a stable upbringing."

In a softened tone, Prompto is surprisingly the first to say, "That'd be really super awesome of you to do."

"Someday, yes, I suppose it would be 'really super awesome'," Ignis said. Despite the straight-laced way he repeated Prompto’s words, the edges of his smile were apparent.

Talk thankfully shifted to more idle subjects, allowing Noctis to fade into the background. The longer they traveled the wetter and colder he became, which lessened his willingness to want to participate in conversation. Soon he was soaked through, his uniform giving up the ghost after almost two days of abuse. Noctis' shaking would have loosened his grasp of the reins were it not for the fact his fingers had frozen in place.

It was also fortunate that Gladiolus was an expert trekker. During the downpour, it became impossible to see the lingering smoke trails from the campfire, but the guardsman's sense of direction was impeccable no matter the conditions. Eventually the telltale glow of the Oracle's wards shined through a thicket of trees.

The rain gave way to drizzle as they ascended the outcropping where the group made their campsite, then tapered off completely. Everything was still soaked. They'd left the chairs out, never intending to be gone this long. The weather report hadn't predicted a storm when they headed toward the supposed royal crypt.

While Noctis dismounted, a wave of dizziness struck him and he leaned into his chocobo for support. He'd assumed the exertion from the trip through the dungeon was temporary, but it'd been wishful thinking. Noctis startled as a gloved hand took the reins from his slackening grip.

The prince pushed away from Bon Bon to see Ignis standing there. His own blue chocobo hovered behind him, its reins in Ignis' other hand. Noctis stared his advisor in the eye, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.

"Go get changed, if you'd like. I can take care of Bon Bon in your stead," Ignis offered.

Gladiolus had no qualms stripping right there, and while he had the right idea, Noctis was less of an exhibitionist. He accepted Ignis' proposal, but opted to duck inside the tent to retrieve a new set of clothes. Noctis found the least offensive smelling towel shoved into a corner and used that to rub off the sweat and grime. He still felt grungy afterwards, however, it was too chilly to risk washing off in a nearby lake. He'd have to settle for the haphazard wipe down until they were ready to resume their journey and find a motel or caravan with a shower.

Noctis searched his duffel bag and wore whatever he found first. There was no reason for being fashionable. A pair of jeans, long-sleeve shirt, and pillow vest were thrown over a fresh set of undergarments. He'd worn the different attire earlier in the week, but they were an improvement compared to the alternative.

"You almost done?" Prompto asked. His shadow shown through the material of the tent.

Noctis rumbled his assent and crawled out to give his friend a turn. In the time he'd been inside, Ignis had dressed down. He'd stripped his jacket to reveal his arms in a gray undershirt. He was hard at work stewing something in a cast iron pot over the portable grill. Noctis left him to it.

By the campfire, Gladiolus had settled in while just wearing his boxers. He was talking into his cell phone. Now that they were outside with a reliable signal and at the safety of camp, it sounded like he was updating his sibling on their return status. Noctis joined him by the warm fire, sidestepping Drumstick and Silky. They had cuddled together behind Gladiolus' folding chair, the red chocobo preening the crest feathers on top of his mate's head.

Someone had draped a towel over his seat, similarly to Gladiolus', so he flopped into his own chair. He slumped to access the device in the deep recesses of his pants pocket. He'd transferred all his personal effects after he'd switched clothes. There were no messages, so while Noctis waited for dinner he played some games on his phone.

Noctis didn't realize how drowsy he was until a couple insistent prods from Bon Bon's beak roused him. He turned and she was just there, when a moment ago he could have sworn she was wandering the region below. She tended to scour their resting places, like a protective mother guarding her nest, but she was more demanding of his attention today.

He gave his chocobo some extra loving strokes to her neck in hopes of appeasing her. She lowered her giant head, it taking up most of his torso, and gave Noctis a mouthful of feathers with her forced closeness.

"What is with you?" he asked, more bemused than anything else. His throat felt prickly, but he laughed at Bon Bon's behavior.

"Chocobos have an innate ability to sense certain changes in their masters. They're akin to some pets, in that respect," Ignis said. He'd come up behind him, carrying plastic mugs with thick handles. One he passed to Gladiolus. The other he held with both hands, cupping the container until Noctis could accept the meal.

Noctis clenched his jaw tight, not wanting to give his advisor an opening to comment further on his condition. Ignis was just worrying worse than usual. There was nothing going on.

A handful of gysahl greens materialized in Noctis' fingers, summoned from the armiger. He tossed them off the side of the campsite to distract Bon Bon. She chirped loudly, her tail quivering, and chased after the treat.

Ignis took the opportunity to hand him his food – some kind of warm, broth-y soup. Mixed in were a few chunks of carrots and celery. He set the mug in his lap and ate without a word, concentrating on picking around the vegetables. The vitamins were in the liquid, anyway, so no need to eat the mushy, nasty parts. It soothed his throat going down.

Bon Bon returned. Her feathers were puffed up, giving Noctis the impression she may be a tad peeved at his trickery. She hunkered down and leaned heavily against his chair; her much larger body threatened to topple him over. She kweh-ed incessantly. In apology, Noctis fed her his extra carrots and stroked her with an absent free hand.

"D'aw! Isn't that adorable?" Prompto said with sugary sweetness. After exiting the tent, he'd decided to shoot some pictures of Silky. He was documenting her progress when he noticed the prince with Bon Bon. Noctis flipped him off before Prompto could take a photo, ruining the shot he tried to take. "Hey! That's not very cute."

"I'm going to bed," Noctis announced. He was already full, despite the small amount he'd managed to eat. The remainder of his meal went to his chocobo.

He returned to the tent, ignoring everyone's stares. He shut the flap in their faces. With no one there as a witness, Noctis let the exhaustion take over. He collapsed on his front, toeing off his shoes, and wasn't awake long enough to do much else. The next morning came and went. Noctis knew this because he noticed when Prompto clambered awake, and his friend was always the last to get up after Gladiolus and Ignis. He turned over and lazed in his sleeping bag. Eventually, a coughing fit demanded his attention more. After hacking into a fist for five minutes, there was no way Noctis was comfortable enough to return to sleep.

He reluctantly went outside and hissed as the sun blinded him. Noctis hadn't expected the sun to be so high in the sky; it was much later in the day then even he was usually permitted to sleep in. He raised a hand to shield his eyes, then decided better of it. There was a beat up old hat stuffed in his luggage that Navyth had gifted him after his first successful catch at Neeglyss Pond, and Noctis hunted for it now. Setting the headgear in place, he attempted to leave the tent again.

It was stifling and humid outside, when yesterday it was freezing. The effort to remove his extra layers of clothes was more than Noctis was willing to expel. He left them as-is.

Gladiolus was the sole person in sight, along with three of the four chocobos. Drumstick and Silky were still nestled together behind his chair. As soon as Noctis made a reappearance, Bon Bon waddled back from the edge of the woods.

He mumbled a "good morning" and crumpled into a chair. The walk from the tent to the campfire couldn't have been more than a couple steps, but Noctis felt like he'd run a marathon. His body ached everywhere.

"Good afternoon," Gladiolus stated. He was honing a sword and didn't look up from the task. At least he’d opted to wear some pants today.

Noctis scowled and closed his eyes. "Where's Prompto and Iggy?"

"Ignis wanted to scavenge for some herbs, since you're sick and all. Prompto went with to expedite the gathering process," he informed him. The offhand way he said it grated on Noctis' last nerve, but that explained why Gladiolus was here. Even if it was for a stupid reason.

"I'm not sick," Noctis grouched. His throat betrayed him then, his voice cracking on the last word. It stung to talk. A cooler was by his feet and he reached inside for a bottle of water. Noctis was just parched from oversleeping or he hadn't hydrated himself enough during the previous trip. Whatever. He was fine.

Just then, the rest of their group happened to return. They'd doubled up on Ignis' chocobo, his advisor behind the reins. He slowed their ride to a stop. Noctis rounded on him before Ignis even stepped foot on the ground. "Did you tell them I was sick?"

Ignis came up short, maybe at the sharp tone or at the accusation. Prompto leaned around him and answered, instead. "Huh, you're sick? I mean, I kind of figured, since you were boiling hot all night. And you're sort of pale…"

"No. I'm not," he snapped.

Gladiolus said, "Get off'em. I determined that you're unwell on my own."

"I said I'm not sick!"

That's when Noctis passed out. The sounds of Bon Bon squawking in distress followed him into darkness. There was a faint beeping sound. It was enough that Noctis couldn't ignore the disturbance. His eyelids clenched tighter together against the intrusion. He rolled over and hid under the covers more to try and block out the electronic noises.

The sounds cutoff, to be replaced with the rustling of bed sheets. "Noct? Psst, Noct!"

He buried deeper into the blankets, but the person was adamant.

"Hey, you awake?"

"No," Noctis mumbled.

"Dude!" It had to be Prompto making that racket. Nobody else was this excitable. Noctis frowned and refused to budge. He hoped his friend would take the hint and leave him alone, but a hand on his shoulder gave his body a couple shakes. He asked, "How're you feeling?"

"Tired," he stressed, wanting to spur him into silence.

"You passed out! How can you still be tired?"

That didn't seem right. Noctis remembered… Well. Musing on it, he didn't recollect much of anything. Had he already woken up? He vaguely recalled that he might have met up with Gladiolus, but afterwards was such a hazy blur.

"I don't…" Noctis tried to sit up, but his arms shook too much as he pushed himself upright. Prompto hurried to steady him, both palms flat on his back. If it were anyone else Noctis would have brushed off the contact, the area being sensitive, but the sensation of comfort broke through his revere.

In a somber tone, Prompto said, "Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy."

"What happened?" He dropped to an elbow and watched Prompto over his shoulder, the blanket covering the lower portion of his face.

"I'm not really sure? This morning Ignis randomly wanted to go plant picking, and when we got back you weren't talking sense. Then you collapsed."

Some of what Prompto recited came back to him in stages. Noctis ducked his head in shame as he recalled the way he lashed out at Gladiolus and the allegations he flung at Ignis. To Prompto, who'd sparingly been exposed to Noctis at his lowest, the severe lapse in his mood would appear confusing.

"You had us all kinds of worried," Prompto said, almost hushed. It garnered Noctis' attention, regardless. He adjusted his shoulders in nervous habit, and his friend removed his hands like he was burned. Noctis couldn't have felt guiltier.

"This just happens sometimes. It's no big deal."

"Um, this never happened when we were in school! I'd remember if you passed out in the middle of math class. The only time you were gone was when your dad summoned you to the Citadel for those top secret—" Prompto's expression went blank. The gunner was so expressive, animated even when idle, so he knew Prompto was serious when he went still in contemplation.

"You weren't in council meetings all those times you had to skip school, were you?" he asked directly.

The words wouldn't form; all he could do was nod in confirmation. His friend moved beside him, and in a panic Noctis scrambled to halt Prompto from leaving. His worrying was unfounded. Prompto was reaching out to him again. Noctis met him halfway, his fingertips catching on the other man's bracelets. He was relieved Prompto wasn't angry enough to flounce off, but Noctis wanted to make sure he didn't.

"Ever since—" the Marilith attack, but he couldn't put a name to his childhood misery, even after the creature's demise at his hands. The monster haunted his nightmares for years and would continue to haunt him for the near future. "—my accident as a kid, the doctors said my immune system was weakened."

Saying 'weakened' made his stomach churn worse. Admitting that to anyone, most of all Prompto, hurt worse than the illness wracking his body. He owed it to his friend, though. Noctis had kept this hidden from him long enough.

"Back then, I'd get sick all the time. It was like I had no natural defenses left in me. We tried everything: gut therapy, boosters, remedies. Shit like that."

"When you were in Tenebrea?" Prompto asked. He whispered, as if afraid Noctis would stop if he interrupted.

"Luna's mom… Her magic was all that helped," Noctis confirmed. At least, until the queen couldn't anymore. Her treatments ended with the invasion of Niflheim. That was another painful reminder, one which he wasn't equipped to delve into, even with Prompto.

"As I got older I didn't get sick as often, but when I did… It was better if the public didn't know." Better if his best and only friend outside the palace didn't know how pathetic he was, but what Noctis actually confessed was, "That's what my dad and his staff concluded, anyway. It'd be risky if anyone found out how easy a target I was during those times."

"I'm sorry," he said, surprising the prince. Prompto shifted on his knees, but kept his hand firmly in place, under Noctis'. "That totally sucks. It must have been miserable and lonely for you. I know you said it was dangerous to tell me, but I am sorry that I didn’t do more for you."

"No, I should have told you," Noctis said in his own apologetic way.

"Nah, no biggie. I'll just have to make up for all the lost opportunities!" Prompto pulled away, but only enough to lie against the prince's side. He stayed on top of the layers of blankets and sleeping bags, but shared Noctis' pillow. Noctis should have protested – he was feverish and resembled a swamp. Nevermind Prompto could catch his illness, too, by such close proximity.

Instead, Noctis transferred onto his opposite side and watched as Prompto resumed playing games on his phone. It'd been what was generating the strange noises earlier. He watched for awhile, offering idle commentary in the forms of suggestions or jibes. He felt fatigued from his prior confession, however, and without his noticing he dozed off.

#noctis lucis caelum #ignis stupeo scientia #gladiolus amicitia #prompto argentum #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ff15 #ffxv #final fantasy #video games #prescription #my writing #snarechan's writing #UPDATE

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