#but yeah idk if any of that makes sense it's kind of some insane lore for a silly cat but eh xD

[spectrearia]

Hiya! I've seen you reference Eggs Benedict, but I don't think I've ever heard anything more about him except that he's a cat! (I may have missed posts, potentially.) Can you tell me more about him? :o

oh of course!! I've mostly posted about him on my art blog, but I can't help but tag posts that remind me of him here on this blog as well xD here's a link to his tag for all the chaotic sketches that I've done over the past few years: [link]

basically, Eggs started out as a silly sketch of a weird cat that I drew once and then he evolved into an actual Character once I found a cat like him in Minecraft and named it Eggs Benedict. my friend Cookie and I turned it into this running joke that he's a fae entity of sorts trapped in a "cat's" body (in quotations because he's got this... unnatural appearance to him that's not Quite a real cat but is still Just Enough like one to count). he likes to torment Khalan for fun but Aya is fooled by a glamour that conceals his true identity from her, so she thinks he's a normal cat and doesn't understand why Khalan vehemently insists that he's Not and claims that the cat is out to get him. (they fight about this A Lot. Khalan has had Enough of this demon cat and wants it out of the house but Aya claims that Eggs is just -baby- and is mad at Khalan for saying otherwise lol)

the name Eggs Benedict is one Aya gave him (since she names all of her pets after food), but no one knows his true fae name because if anyone did, I feel like they'd just instantly die idk xD he was put in a cat-like body as punishment for horrible crimes against the fae council and is forced to stay with Aya as part of that punishment because we just thought that would be a hilarious idea lol (she absolutely babies him - which is incredibly demeaning and patronizing for someone of his status). what did he do to deserve that...? we have no idea. it will always remain a mystery.

anyway, sorry that's a lot haha. i've just put a decent amount of thought into this silly character over the years because I Wanted To and it's Fun 👍

[pixiecaps]

i hope you're already asleep it's so late for you but on the topic of the finale ending honestly i understand why people are so upset by it, i think it royally sucks, but imo it was created entirely because they really needed some way to wrap things up and i think almost everyone would agree that it shouldn't have and wouldn't have ended that way had things been different and had the server not needed to end so abruptly.

like idk you KNOW i'm a canon compliant guy but for this thing specifically i genuinely don't consider it canon and think it should fully be ignored, and i think basically everyone involved would be fine with that. also honestly in my mind everything purgatory and after is non-canonical in that it shouldn't have happened either and the reset is definitely not canon so that makes it easier for me to ignore it completely. i think what players and admins stated about their characters is canonical within reason and otherwise i don't think any of it matters all that much because of how the server ended. like to me i know the reality is that that is how it ended and we don't have any other ending to go off of but because of the circumstances there's just no way i could consider it canon and i already spend all my time dreaming up ways to rewrite all the shit that happened before then, nevermind a garbage hastily written ending that only wrapped up one plot thread (the eggs) and didn't even do that correctly (it completely retconned so much about the eggs and i know a lot of lore got retconned and changed over time but it's particularly agregious).

idk where i'm going with this insane rant in your inbox i really don't i just wanted to give my thoughts on that ending and how i take it as a fandom creator because i often see people treating it like it was a legitimate ending even though they hated it and i'm like this is fandom!!! we can ignore it entirely!!! in fact many characters' endings explicitly defy that ending, that was just the way to wrap up the idea of the egg event in some way that made sense. i totally get people being upset by it, i was too, but i was also upset by the previous. five months? of stuff so i kind of can't be bothered to be annoyed by this particular thing.

again this is nonsensical i'm just saying i think we should all ignore it and i've been saying that since the day of bc it was just so obviously not the kind of ending that would've been written under different circumstances. let's all make up better endings forever and ever amen.

anyway hi pix if you're reading this in the morning i hope you got beautiful sleep and dreamt of snoopy and roier all night

hiii 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i was in fact asleep by the time you sent this:3

that was another point i discussed with someone els where yeah it sucked because they had to wrap it up and “tie everything together” so i agree on that. everything with the qsmp ending wouldve been different under different circumstances.

you’re incredibly real for not considering canon up to a certain point where everything got messy. i think since we’re both very canon compliant people you can understand where im coming from with that frustration and being irked by how everything played out. it was going so well and then 📉📉📉. and heres the thing you know how much i love purgatory okay cause i do but god its truly one of those events where it shouldve been explicitly uncanon i feeeeel. so much of the lore it introduced and everything clashed with everything we had already established and not informing the creators of anything was such a poor choice. but anyways you already know the whole rant.

i do appreciate the reminder of its fandom who cares. i live by that i just get Even More emotional when sleep deprived and was like wow fuck everything and this stupid fucking ending so thats why i made those posts kkkkkkkk. but ye GOOD REMINDERS ITS FANDOM ENDINGS ARE OPEN TO REWRITES AND OUR OWN INTERPRETATIONS!!!!!!!

i did get beautiful sleep ty bell<3333 i hope you got beautiful sleep as well<3333

[ladygwyndolin]

I really really hate fromsoft d riders because why am I already seeing people try to defend the final boss. The problem's always been bad with Bloodborne and Dark Souls but Elden Rings larger popularity has just made it way worse. People really can't accept that their favorite studio did wrong. Idc that they parallel Godfrey/Marika and Godfrey/Serosh or even in a more meta way Lorian/Lothric, it's still bad writing. Themes and cycles mean nothing when the player is too distracted with a relationship that came out of nowhere. Radahn and Miquella had no buildup, no hints, not even a hastily put together line of weapon lore and it sucks. Base game Miquella was established to only care about two people on a personal level outside of his "he loves everybody" nebulous stuff and that was Malenia and Godwyn. Fans were right to theorize about those two and connect the dots that were there. Miquella did not give care about Radahn in any way whatsoever and Radahn on the other hand was going through his own character arc and tragedy, a closed loop that the tarnished finishes in a once satisfying way. I don't even like Radahn but I can concede his story was well done. It's just insane because the Miquella plot beforehand is actually very interesting and has a good concept because it makes sense why he turned out this way, but the flashbanging of random incest puts a sour note on it all. A plot twist for the sake of a twist isn't good writing nor is it good foreshadowing, fromsoft is vague but they've never done something as much as an asspull like this before and it's just not good. Hope people wake up one day this is like if they for real canonized the solaire is a worm theory and then everyone stood around saying it was well done and became clear once they thought about it. Anyways sorry for the long rant but I hate how much this fanbase has just turned into blind defenders of two old rich guys

You're right! It was fanservice plain and simple especially when you stop and think about how much sense it would have made for Godwyn to play that role. Even if it HAD to be homophobia and incest (which it didn't) it still would have made infinitely more sense for it to be Godwyn. I used the exact same language after my playthrough wrt ending on a sour note; the disparity between the amazing rest of the dlc and that plot point makes it abundantly clear that it was some kind of forced last minute change. Maybe it'd explain the absolutely pointless Miquella memory at the end if it had originally been much larger but was cut down because other stuff mentioned Godwyn. Yeah it's. Man. Idk. Really something else.

[khodorkovskaya]

but here's the thing: what do you think he wants from me?

bc yeah, older man who buys you things does raise a lot of red flags in theory. it makes you imagine some creepy perv who wants to trick you into having sex with him.

but with lucien..? idk. i really can't imagine him as someone who's like interested in me in a machiavelic way. i talked about it with my mum and she loves gossip and she was like "omgg imagine if lucien got your bestie ice skates too just to distract from the fact that he's in love with you! it's all to cover his tracks!!!". and i don't buy it. like maybe im stupid but i really believe that lucien was being genuine when he said that he paid for skating camp to "support young people's initiatives". he always says things how they are and has no filter and he can't read tone. which is why i can't imagine him like plotting ahead to make me his lover or something.

plus he's asexual and i really don't know a lot about asexuality and asexual relationships to be able to judge what's going on. he said that for him the most important thing in a relationship is to do fun activities together like go ice skating, go swimming, go on adventures together, etc. and now his wife is accusing me of having an affair with him. and what does having an affair even mean in an asexual way? being friends with him? having hobbies in common with him?

like even in an emotional sense, there's nothing coming from his side. we don't really talk whenever we do activities together. he often just talks about himself and the drugs he did back in the 90s and that one fetish party he went to back in november and we all laugh and that's it. like it's just neuteral conversation. there's so much lore about his life it's insane and me and my bestie love his monologues. but he never like confides his feelings to me or idk, there's nothing that's remotely romantic about his behaviour around me.

so honestly, i don't see what he wants from me apart from being his friend and going skating/swimming/etc together. and im chill with that, being friends with him is a lot of fun! and if he's in love with me, whatever that means in his sense, well that's fine by me idk. he's not pushy and doesn't make me uncomfortable. and he really respects people's boundaries (i think it's bc he's into kink so he really understands the notion of concent and that kind of stuff). so i know for sure that if there's something im uncomfortable with, i can say no and he will respect that no and not take it personally and be pushy like most guys.

so yeah idk. i really do wonder what's going on behind the scenes with his wife bc she knows him more than i do. but for now im just keeping to myself, not replying to her and avoiding getting involved in any of this.

@yo-cousin-dima 💜

[lilyminer]

Angsty philza au time! (Fixing up this pile of garbage cuz I listened to control again 😅) This all takes place in the lore as it is now, we’re in a lore break at the moment so this setting might very quickly change in the near future.

Also this is kinda dark and depressing, idk why I love making up these kind of reverse fit-it aus. Just mind the gap to the next post on your dash if that doesn’t sound good for u rn.

So Dream calls in his favour from Techno to break him out of prison, Phil joins in cuz you’re never too old for a little prison heist.

They get him out but Tommy, Sam, and the others realize that they can’t let Dream get away at this point. Techno never got the chance to give Dream any armour so Tommy finds them and kills Dream one final time.

Techno starts a skirmish with the others but Sam thinks quickly and pulls a Quackity and gets some people to just, like dog-pile on Phil to hold him hostage as a stand-in Carl.

Phil obviously has armour on here and is wondering what their game plan is until they reveal that they will cut off what left of Phil’s wings if Techno doesn’t comply with them. Although Phil can’t fly anymore he never stopped preening and exercising his wings, taking care of them is as much a part of him as his voice is. Immortals fall into certain routines that are hard to let go of after so long.

So Techno complies and they toss the two in pandora’s vault. Techno is scared but knows he did the right thing and Phil is incredibly angry at himself for letting them get captured.

Later they let Phil out and say if he comes within a thousand blocks of the prison they will kill Techno without hesitation. Phil bolts back to the base and has a a big ol’ mental breakdown <3

As insanity took Technos mind in that hellish prison the voices lost their power over him. They grew bored of such a loud, tired, and hopeless mind.

But the halls of Technos old home where Phil thought he could find quiet, lonely mourning, he felt a dark presence all around him that spoke out from the sharp shadows cast apon the cabins walls.

Yeah long story short the voices took to Phil’s mind, they told him Techno was losing himself, that he was suffering more then ever, and that deep down he hated Phil just as much as he hated himself at that point.

The voices forced him to lash out at the world like they did to Techno for years. “Ranboo . . . Ranboo was there, he watched while you lost everything”

So Phil comes out of the cabin for the first time in weeks, Ranboo expects him to be coming to him for support. Instead he finds a cold blade slashing at him with no warning and no sign of hesitation or remorse.

Ranboo knows something is very, very wrong here. He grabs what he can and runs to snowchester where he warns Tubbo and the others about what happened in the tundra.

Phil is seen approaching the prison and Sam makes good on his promise and kills Techno. People are curious but he doesn’t say exactly how he disposed of Techno.

Tommy and Niki team up and go after Phil, they find him and Niki tells him there’s no use in this madness Techno is already gone.

Phil lunges at her and takes her first canon life (can u guys believe she still has all three?) Tommy realizes something is seriously wrong, he yells at Phil for a bit but nothing is getting through to him, he isn’t even responding. So he retreats back to snowchester and everyone regroups.

Soon enough Phil arrives at snowchester where all the citizens and more stand against him. Still he attacks them with mindless viciousness.

No one knows what’s going on and everyone is very scared

Phils gaze drifts to Tubbo, at the heart of them helping unite the startled mix of very different people. And some old philosophy echos in his mind, a warped reflection of a code he used to know well.

He’s no longer fighting against a flawed form of authority, like he once did. Just lashing out at the frightened but solid voice of reason in a crowd of panic. . . .

But something shifts, the voices and their incoherent preaching of flawed philosophy crumble.

And as Phil returns to his senses all that lies before him is the bloodied corpse of a child who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The weight of this new crime, worse then the last tears something much more vital then his wings from deep inside him

I’ve never really written a full au yet so I just kind of run with the format I felt worked best. Sorry if the dot jots are kind of awkward to read. Was that angst ok? Idk.

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

[ocheeva]

interview tag uwu

rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

tagged by @queensbrother even though it’s been A DECADE cass how can u possibly need to get to know me better ily

- nickname: no people just. use my name. except @mishikaiya sometimes. her latest for me is chickadee which is literally the cutest but will it ever be a thing outside the bird trio? doubtful.

- pronouns: she/her

- star sign: probably yeah

- height: 167 cm. i don’t do american numbers.

- time currently: 23:49

- when is your birthday: at some point during the year. this is hidden lore only my mum knows bc she was there (presumably)

- favorite bands/groups: see this is why i’m the worst at this kind of thing because there are always these questions and i. don’t do music. generally. like i have made spotify playlists and shit i just sit down to listen to music approximately three times a year so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- favorite solo artists: well...

- song stuck in your head: this is getting awkward

- last movie watched: wait hold on i need to cry for a second over cass’ last movie being fatal journey... god that fucked me up. nie brothers my beloved. anyway it was I Am Mother. it was okay.

- last show you binged: new girl for the third? fourth? time. i live alone and don’t really have conversations at my job so i keep sitcoms on in the background so i get to hear human voices! yes i’m very emotionally stable how did you know. last show i binged and actually paid attention to was word of honor.

- when you created your blog: this one? 2013. my first one was made in 2009

- last thing you googled: something about han dynasty art because fic research lmao  

- other blogs:  i only actively maintain @qinghe-s atm but i also have @masseffectcaps and a few other fandom sideblogs like @celestecraft which used to be hot shit on mineblr. others are only shared with people i love.

- why you chose your url: the first time i played the elder scrolls iv: oblivion i fell in love w ocheeva SO FAST and she’s still my favourite. i don’t have an argonian kink but if i did it would be because of her. she's sweet and caring AND she’s a skilled assassin?? get you a girl who can do both, damn

- do you get asks: no bc the messaging system exists. my fandom blogs get them on occasion although people favour the messaging system there too

- how many people are you following: 257

- how many followers do you have: like a thousand. my most popular blog has 10k which is insane quite frankly. 

- average hours of sleep: i legitimately do not have an average, it’s either like four or at least twelve

- lucky number: not... really. i like multiples of five bc i have ocd and other numbers are generally uncomfortable. i don’t mind seven fsr (but only as a singular digit. idk, my brain does Not make sense)

- instruments: i played the flute as a kid but i assure you i am the least musical person you’ve ever met

- what I’m currently wearing: black leggings, black top, black sweater. my socks are pink though! fashun

- dream job: i simply do not dream of labour. i enjoy teaching to an extent and working for bethesda would be sick i guess but

- dream trip: svalbard. i’ve wanted to visit china for years (i had a layover at a chinese airport when i went to visit cass in straya and part of me was like YES finally! but it was also miserable bc worst flight of my liiiiife god). legitimate actual dream trip though? a couple of weeks alone in venice. i’ve been once but it was a school trip when i studied architecture in high school (like you do in waldorf schools! pretentious as hell) so my classmates ruined the vibe. i snuck away a lot and made my teacher angry when no one knew where i was but it was worth it. i constantly think about going back and spending hours in the narrow alleys and beautiful churches and sitting outside palazzo ducale and being moved to literal tears over the architecture. ugh.

- favorite food: lamb steak w garlic cloves... also cheese. all the cheese. any kind of cheese.

- favorite song: i thought we went over this

- top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: okay first of all animal crossing OBVIOUSLY. gotta marry tom nook. second... god. star trek because while i will absolutely shit-talk starfleet any day of the week the star trek universe is superior to any other because it has JANEWAY. and also space. and alien ladies. but mainly janeway. i would put so much effort into joining starfleet and being good at my job so i could maybe serve on the same ship as her and make quiet heart eyes if we crossed each other in the corridors. EDIT: lol i got so wrapped up in star trek i forgot about a third huh! obviously i’d want to live in dream valley with the little ponies. the original ponies. i’d hang out with wind whistler and tell her i love her all the time, especially when she uses words the other ponies don’t understand. autistic queen, love of my life, etc. bonus fourth: mass effect. space. biotics! possibly a buff asari girlfriend... or the krogan romance bioware continues to deny me

TAGGING: jesus. okay you know what. i’m picking five people who show up in my notes fairly regularly because we should be friends. so: @filantestar @sidhe-solais @briars-glenn @sarahstreep7 @roddaprime ♡

[phoebehalliwell]

Piper/Kyle, except it's an AU where Kyle's parents were never killed by demons, so he lived a perfectly normal, happy childhood and grew up to follow their footsteps into teaching and Kyle's a normal, maybe even a little boring archaeology professor who secretly dreams of having his very own Indiana Jones moment - up until the day he opens some dusty old chest and unleashes a demon that tries to kill him, and he barely gets away only to run into this petite brunette woman who proceeds to blow the demon the fuck up, and Kyle's never believed in love at first sight before, but he's pretty sure he can make an exception for Piper

wait omg mentally stable kyle au okay wait i gotta wrap my head around this kyle but not absofuckinlutely insane whatta picture omg. okay. i feel like he’s still gotta have this belief in the supernatural i feel like that’s a large part of the charm in literally any kyle dynamic with the sisters is Witch Who Gets It and Man Who’s Only Got Raw Data. there’s an appeal to that. seeing things from different angles all that. so we can say kyle ever good at puzzles has taken his parents notes and everything he knows and various texts and kinda pieced together okay magic does exist. but in this au he’s a professor and not an fbi agent so he can’t just walk around saying Magic Is Real because um he needs this job. also he’s never seen it. but like. the data does not like. like. like it’s real man like are you kidding me. and we’ll say he has one normal friend because he’s normal in this au and he’s like okay here me out tho magic is real and his friend is like ......okay. because like. it could be, i guess? i’m not gonna fight you on this. and kyle also definitely read a lot as a kid he reads a lot now and he’s always kinda like. like you know wondered what it might be like to be a man of action not someone stuck behind a desk all day seeing the world through books. so when he starts to see markers of the gathering storm,,, well. these are the times that make a man. he can either be a pussy about it and keep living his life through paper and ink, or he can follow his intuition. blah blah blah this leads him to get kidnapped by pirates which like. excuse me??? and kyle’s kinda kicking himself because he Wanted to be like a character in an adventure book and well like bada bing bada boom you get what you ask for. which. all due respect on his part. is smart enough to outwit them and escape. he might have dropped his wallet there tho. but when he goes back the same route wandering through the thick fog, all he finds is a solid wall of rock. so i guess he’s fucked in that regard. whoops. but!! magic is real. so that’s a dub. digs a little bit more into the blackjack cutting lore, maybe finds the x marks the spot on where their main hideout was, road trip to. seattle? i guess? port city that isn’t san francisco but is more reasonable to drive to that like. nola or boston. and lo and behold he finds it and find their documentation of the gathering storm accidentally trips a booby trap and jesus fucking christ pirate skeletons with sword which - respectfully - kyle is holding his own for the most part, not getting immediately worried, but there’s no way that would have lasted had the three skeletons not been blown to pieces. and he looks over and sees three brunettes and the one in the center is like who the hell are you? to which kyle really feels like He should be the one asking that question but after stammering out some kind of response about how he’s a professor and he was just looking for some soil samples something generic archaeological because hey. he doesn’t trust these women. he doesn’t know what side they’re on. and he’s not just gonna sacrifice the information he has on the gathering storm. and it’s obvious they don’t believe him, but they don’t kill him either. instead, the one in the center just says be more careful where you leave your stuff and tosses his wallet back to him.

and later at the manor paige is like we just let him go?? and phoebe’s like yeah how to we know he’s not a demon? he wouldn’t be the first to pose as a mortal in the mortal world (because phoebe went to the university to return kyle’s wallet because like it has is ID in it employee id all that under the guise of like. giving a lecture to some of the student’s there as the bay’s leading advice columnist oh hey is there a kyle brody here yeah haha he’s a friend of a friend anyone seen him no he’s on vacation right now? left real abruptly? and then immediately went into his office and touched every surface trying to get a premonition (au in which phoebe didn’t get her powers stripped) and concluded that he’s just Some Guy. like he like has friends and a nine to five and an apartment. so a guy). but piper’s like we don’t know. but we also don’t know what he’s up to or what his connection to the pirates was, which is why i cast a tracking spell on the wallet. and both phoebe and paige approve and in this au again phoebe didn’t get her powers stripped so in styx feet under it’s her and paige on mission and as paige is the one who cast the protection spell and as paige is also very stubborn and also refuses to let innocents die she is the one who gets to become death. she also has a very compelling relationship with death because like. she watched her parents die. and she’s prue’s replacement. the replacement for the dead girl. also fun paige/prue parallel! meanwhile right Should state in any piper/kyle au we just extend pleo’s divorce era by having him remain an elder and keeping that early s6 vibe. so piper’s definitely like a bit more neurotic than normal because you know things haven’t gone great for her and those pirates were warning about the gathering storm and honestly that better not be something that’s gonna hurt her boys because she really could not bear to lose another family member so she’s doing some digging which begins to imply that kyle knows more that he let on so where is he now? the university? great.

and kyle’s you know minding his own business in his office when the same woman practically kicks down his door and is like alright i’m gonna ask again who the hell are you and this time you better answer me honestly. to which: wow. like wow. she’s. she’s a force to be reckoned with and also kinda immediately gains points in kyle’s book for like a) kinda confronting him about knowing more because he’s pretty good at covering his tracks all that so if he’s been Found Out it’s by someone good and b) she also disintegrated evil pirate skeletons so like. 👍. But. he does not trust her for shit. no. absolutely not. he has no reason to. but piper’s not yielding blasts a hole in the wall near his head like quickly now or next time i won’t miss but kyle’s so fuckin stubborn he’s like 🤐 and piper’s. i mean, she can’t kill an innocent. she doesn’t know if that’s who he is, but she can’t run that risk. and kyle’s not saying shit, so she leaves.

then it’s the guardian angel episode where the charmed ones are there on instruction (though they don’t know what they’re looking for. maybe they were just scrying for information) and kyle’s there on a hunch and piper and kyle see each other and it’s um. mac charlie see each other from across the room reaction image. both like. what the fuck are you doing here? and in this one paige is still the one to get her guardian angel stolen and piper’s immediately on high alert because you know big sister/mom mode activated. but they don’t know what they’re looking for and kyle’s like it’s her guardian angel. and piper once again snaps to him firey look in her eyes but kyle’s really just trying to place nice here so he’s like guardian angels. they’ve been going missing being stolen whatever. he’s got the research on it. and piper doesn’t want to trust him but paige is really in grave danger. so, as the sister with the offensive power, she’s going with kyle, and phoebe has to make sure paige doesn’t like. pull a grams. (which for the record i do not accept prewitched as canon but like the elders definitely killed grams <3)

so blah blah blah piper’s now and kyle’s place which is ten times worse than his office because this is where he does his real work and he’s got all the guardian angel shit up and out and is explaining it to piper and it’s making sense but what catches her eye is something on the gathering storm that kyle left out now they’re talking about that they’re starting to realize they’re on the same side. blah blah blah save paige. next episodes what werewolf episode. skip. then!! idk paige still runs magic school right so she’s in the library and she calls piper and she’s like hey remember when you told me to keep an eye out on the gathering storm? and piper’s like yes yeah what is it? and she’s like well we’re inventorying the library and we have books on them and piper’s like that’s good news ! ? and paige is like yeah but we’re missing one. book five. in this something something series. and piper knows Exactly where that book is because she fucking saw it on kyle’s kitchen counter. so now she’s barging into kyle’s place which is getting to be a common occurrence at this point and kyle kinda wants to complain but this is by far the most interesting his life’s been ever and honestly? he’d be kinda bummed if piper stopped kicking down his door. wait actually scratch that you want my book no fuck you changed my mind. to which piper’s like look we’re looking for the same goal here right so give me the book because i have the rest of the series and this could be the missing puzzle piece and kyle’s like okay fine i’ve read the book cover to cover give me the rest of the series and i’ll get you your answers and piper’s like okay let’s get things straight here i’m the witch you’re some two bit archeology professor so when it comes to the handling of sacred magical tomes i’ll be taking the reigns here and kyle’s like fine then you won’t be taking the book. and piper’s like wanna bet and the next think kyle knows he’s hearing the door slam his book’s gone and he’s hearing tires peel out onto the street and he has no idea how she did it. 

back at the manor piper’s got her reading glasses on an volume one open and god this fucking sucks. so she makes phoebe take a stab at it and she hates reading it too. paige also starts it and is like respectfully no. piper’s the only one who did the reading in high school. this is her turf. but my god she cannot make it through all eight of these fucking books. So. she calls kyle. he has to come to the manor because there’s no way she’s giving him the books and there’s no way she’s letting him in magic school so. hi. welcome to the house. but!! by a contrived plot device!!!! a gnome has been shot in magic school this book was the only thing at the scene and paige wants to investigate further but she can’t just leave it out there so she brings it back to the manor she’s gonna cast some spell to find out if there are already spells on the book how to reverse it she just needs to find the spell first and like. there’s no way in hell paige ever wears an outfit with big enough pockets to keep the book on her. so she leaves it on the table. to which kyle asks how this is relevant to the collection. to which piper says don’t open that!! whoops. see, this is why i said we don’t let two bit archeology professors near magical books! piper/kyle charmed noir..............

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[hirazuki]

Ooo I'm curious about your hot takes on the Inuyasha reboot after reading your tags 👀

Ahaha, where to start XD Idk if they are hot takes, but here are my thoughts in bullet point form for coherency, I couldn’t figure out how else to organize them. Under a cut, as usual, because it got lengthy... as usual :D

We are 13 episodes in, and I still have no idea wtf is going on or what the series is actually about. And yes, I’m aware that we didn’t know of Naraku’s existence or of the overarching plot until at least episode 16 of that series either and Inuyasha was still very episodic in nature at that early point too, but here’s the thing: Inuyasha did not build upon a pre-existing series. For better or for worse, Yashahime has certain expectations to live up to that the original anime didn’t, by virtue of its being a sequel. Unfair? Maybe, but tough; that’s what happens when you make a sequel. Additionally, despite us not knowing The Main Plot™ of Inuyasha until later, the basic framework for it was laid out clearly by... episode 2? I think? Find and collect the Shikon Jewel shards. Boom, done. Were there distractions or fillers? Sure, but you never got the sense that the characters simply up and forgot about the shards. Even in fillers, the shards often made some kind of appearance. With Yashahime, there’s like three potential storylines going on: 1. The most obvious: most of our main cast from the OG is missing; where are they? Apparently no one in-story cares! :D Inuyasha, who’s that lol. I’m all for a sequel focusing on the new generation with cameos of the old crew; after all, they already had their own series. But this is like... no one cares about them? No one talks about them? And the more characters go about not mentioning them, the stronger their absence is felt. Like, for instance, Kaede knows Moroha is InuKag’s daughter. Moroha grew up on her own, doesn’t know her parents. Kaede doesn’t mention them to Moroha, doesn’t even spare a passing thought about them for the audience’s benefit, Moroha doesn’t ask. Kagome’s family in the present day meet Moroha, recognize her as Kagome’s daughter and... say nothing??? Souta shows Towa Kagome and Inuyasha’s old photos, but doesn’t say a word to Moroha?! Like. It makes no sense. By people not even acknowledging their existence, it makes the fact that they are nowhere to be found even weirder. Also the new gen girls don’t care about their parents or finding out who they were/are... like, okay, it would maybe be in character for one or two of them, but all three don’t give a fuck??? 2. Kirinmaru/the rainbow pearls: Idk how familiar you are with the story, but similar deal with Naraku and the shards here. Kirinmaru is being set up as the villain, still a mysterious figure; our new gen trio is supposed to collect the rainbow pearls that... some of his henchmen have? Or he is after them? Or is that Riku? Unclear. ANYWAY the new gen girls often forget all about the pearls’ existence :D 3. Setsuna’s memories: Setsuna’s dreams have been stolen by the dream butterfly and they need to get them back, because without her dreams she has no memories and is unable to sleep. Cool! Finally a solid, easy-to-follow plot line! Except wait! Towa, who supposedly made it her goal to get Setsuna’s sleep back, forgets all about it! All the time! Like, none of them make an effort to look into this other than being like “oh yeah, know anything about the dream butterfly?” to random folks every now and then. The Inugang back in the day was putting some grad school level research towards their goals, just saying. It just feels like everything’s all wishy-washy and there’s nothing really solid tying the series together. People just remember shit exists when it’s convenient.

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Character development is MIA. I’m not expecting ground-breaking char dev in 13 episodes (though I do know 12 episode series that were phenomenal in that regard), but like... I do expect the series to focus on building the dynamics between the main three characters. So far, the series is more focused on teasing the audience with glimpses and promises of the OG cast instead. The creators are using nostalgia and bait (esp of a certain pairing) to drive interest in the series, rather than developing the new characters as fully-fledged characters for their own sakes. 

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Moroha is was the only thing I actually liked about the series. She is a little spitfire and you can somehow instantly see both Inuyasha and Kagome in her, while she also remains very uniquely herself; I have never seen such a successfully developed main pairing child in any series. She featured quite prominently in the first few episodes -- and unlike both her parents, she’s got a great memory and knowledge of lore -- where she balanced funny moments with badass fighting moments and being the token supernatural encyclopedia. It was great! And then... they’ve like... forgotten her. She’s been left behind so many times by the twins. She’s the butt of every joke. She’s become the type of comic relief that’s, well, insulting. More like a buffoon than anything else. And it’s basically all for the sake of giving the floor to Towa :/

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Setsuna is okay. Not offensive, but unremarkable. She’s got her dad’s personality but like way toned down due to her different growing up circumstances, which is nice, but like... I feel she isn’t given any room to grow or breathe or anything. She’s also basically there as a device to enhance Towa’s development.

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Towa... oy. I tried to like her, I really did, but she just doesn’t work for me. They set her up having a very Kurosaki Ichigo type deal with beating up bullies and getting into trouble at school and shit -- I’m fine with that. That’s cool. Esp if it’s linked to not feeling like she fits in bc she’s a hanyou? Awesome. Except once she travels back in time to the feudal era it’s all “Oh killing is bad you shouldn’t kill people” and “even though they attacked me I can’t possibly hurt them” and “you need to empathize and talk things out” and “friendship is magic” and shit. It feels like she had a personality transplant, it literally makes no sense. Her design is totally nonsensical too -- out of everyone at her school, she’s the only one dressed in a bright white suit? Do protags not wear the school uniform? Someone should tell Kagome lmao. She’s a pro at hand to hand, and she can absorb demons’ powers and fling them back at them like a personified Tessaiga, and she has a lightsaber sword, and she’s immune to miasma, and -- like... you get it. It’s too much. It’s way too OP for the type of universe that Inuyasha/Yashahime is set in. She’s hanyou for fuck’s sake; remember all the training Inuyasha had to go through? When he couldn’t lift his sword? When his sword attacked him? Sango, Miroku, Kagome, even Sesshomaru all had trouble with their weapons and had to work to become stronger. But Towa? Nope. Towa is straight out of the Yas Queen/Girl Boss manual, so she gets a free pass on everything.

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UGH they are doing the VLD/bad writing thing where things happen (like, BIG THINGS) and none of the characters actually react to them. Or stuff happens and there are no consequences. No one ever talks about anything. It’s wild.

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Everyone has amnesia!! :D People either don’t know or don’t remember anything or anyone. People who absolutely should know things all of a sudden magically don’t know them. Like, Kohaku -- traveled with an undead priestess, spent years in the company of demons, traveled with Sesshomaru... and yet had NO CLUE that Setsuna is Sesshomaru’s daughter or that she is hanyou, despite her living and working with his team of demon slayers all this time. Like... how, man. How. And Kaede! Don’t get me started. Since when does she perpetuate random demon-boogeyman type stories as facts? Demon children will kill each other in the nest so that only the strongest one will survive, therefore Setsuna must have killed Towa when they were infants. O_O What are they, sharks? Has she been hanging out with Kisame? Wtf?? And she’s speaking about Sess’s kids as though she doesn’t know him or anything about him, when she has had Rin under her roof all these years. It just makes. no. sense.

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Things that happened in the original series are happening again now! Because that’s the best we’ve got, recycled plot elements wooo! No, but really, characters that died or things that were resolved in Inuyasha keep coming back. Why? What was the purpose of bringing back Kinka and Ginka? To have a foil for Towa and Setsuna as twins? Someone please tell Sunrise they can just create new characters. Like, it’s one thing to have call backs to the original or cameos, references, whatever. But like... this is entire (dead) characters and interactions.

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No one knows how long it’s been since the original series ended. Fans initially heard 20 years from promo material, then “over 15″ and “10 years since” in-series regarding two different events, and now in a future episode summary we’ve gotten 18 years since Hosenki II gave Inuyasha the black pearl. But like, which black pearl? Because the one in Inuyasha’s eye doesn’t exist anymore, but Hosenki II had told Inuyasha that it would take 100 years for him to produce one. So, are we retconning that or where the fuck did it come from? Also, this doesn’t help one bit, it just confuses things even more. Back to the point, though, we have no coherent timeline or real frame of reference whatsoever, and I’m betting it’s in large part to keep the mystery of who is Sesshomaru’s wife going, as it keeps Rin’s age very vague. Everything is vague and mysterious in Yashahime, to the point where no one knows what’s going on, in fandom or in-story even. It’s kinda like how too much plot twist/shock reveal ruins a story, too much mystery does the same. It’s insane that both shippers and antis of that ship can lay equal claim that the “18 years since” announcement works in their favor.

tl;dr: Idk man, Yashahime is a clusterfuck of a series. Even if the mother of Sess’s twins is either of the characters I ship him with, I will still not like the series. There’s no saving this writing. Every episode feels like this:

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Troy’s Crystal Necklaces are IMPORTANT AND IDK HOW and other insane ramblings

No matter what happens from here on out, I think those crystals are important and I GOTTA know what they’re for! At the very least, they’re important to me. So cool... So glowy... *o* I want one...

So there are a couple possibilities for what they could be used for and my main guess is Stealing/Storing/Transferring Siren powers (Yes, I know, that’s probably Tyrene’s power, but, hey, humor me! I think it’d be an interesting twist to something we already know.)

Troy being able to steal siren powers and possibly keep them in the glowy crystals around his neck? Hell yeah! How? I have no fuckin’ clue!

Since his tattoos are red they could be derived from the crystals and, if this is the case, he is probably the one who stole Lilith’s tattoos during the trailer and possibly transfers them to Tyrene. (I’ll get more into this later as to why I don’t think he kept them) I lowkey kinda think they’re like raw seraph crystals or smth bc male siren goes against all the lore (maybe he’s like a seraph himself or some bullshit? yaknow, red vs blue... or he just used the crystals to steal a siren’s tattoos and put them on himself...) unless he’s actually trans which I'm afraid they wouldn’t have the balls to do. but oh mama if he is, that representation will be like nothing we’ve ever seen

Troy having gotten Siren powers from his sister Tyrene stealing them and giving them to him? I mean,,, yeah that’s probably what happened but GLOWY MAGIC CRYSTALS THE ERIDIANS DIDN’T LIKE BECAUSE SERAPHS COULD THEN STEAL THEIR POWERS AND USE THEM AGAINST THEM IN WAR (THAT IS [APPARENTLY] COMING)??? Now that’s some good reintegration shit mhmmmm. The Eridium buffeth and the Seraph taketh away.

Also, a siren being able to steal another siren’s powers seems kinda counterintuitive. Her power is useless unless she meets other sirens (THERE ARE 6 IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE - despite what the games want us to believe, that’s pretty fuckin’ rare!) and what is it even used for? All the other sirens we’ve met have very powerful, combat-oriented skills (even w/ Angel, while I’m still not sure what her power was exactly tbh. technological integration? (Phaseshift-ing of the bits???) that’s p powerful with Eridian tech I'm sure). If the Sirens were created by Eridians, they were probably made to be on the same side. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense for something that didn’t want the Sirens around to have the power to steal theirs and redistribute them to their own forces?

Consider:

and

I mean, after all, “their return is to be feared” and Seraph crystals only started appearing after the opening of the second vault on Pandora (which could be triggering the return of the Seraphs... thus causing them to want to plunder vaults/kill Sirens? who knows lol). Also, the cultists leaving Pandora and heading to Promethea could very well be bringing back Seraph crystals. Shit, the guy you sell the crystals to in order to get some seriously powerful gear could have been shipping them off to Promethea. 

My only problem is they’re pink, not red, but it might be a product of activating them/”storing” the siren powers in them/some weird bullshit. I know raw eridium is a shade or two darker than processed Eridium, so it could possibly be some bullshit like “raw seraph crystals are redder while processed seraph crystals are pink” or something.

Actually, now that I think about it, the only way to get Seraph crystals is through Seraph Guardians. Disregarding the Dragons bc its a DnD Campaign, the Seraph Guardians are all hopped up on whatever the seraph crystals did to them. Maybe the crystals are drained of their power once we kill the Seraph Guardians and that is why they are that shade of pink. Maybe when they’re charged up they’re a more saturated red color. I mean, Hyperius is able to grow to the size of a skyscraper and Gee can absorb elemental damage so 👀

This is all a huge reach, but I’m having fun, so let’s continue.

Now there is this tidbit from the Battleborn Easter Egg: “VISIT PROMET[H]EA CHILDREN OF THE VAULT. WE ARE NOT ON PANDORA ANYMORE. TANNIS IS NOT WHAT SHE SEEMS. DO NOT OPEN THE VAULTS”. Ignoring the Tannis bit, I’m very curious why they don’t want the vaults open. Maybe it would bring about the return of the Eridians and they don’t want that? I mean... technically the Watcher is already back after opening only 2 vaults (Pandora1 and Elpis). Which is a whole nother thing that I could totally get into if the twins (either of them) are actually stealing people’s Siren powers lmao, be it with just the magic crystals or their own magic alien powers. The war the Watcher mentions could 100% be against the Calypso twins. I can’t help but wonder if it should be something bigger though lmao... sounded so ominous... 

Now of the theory that Tyrene is the one who can steal powers and gave Lilith’s to Troy: Totally possible. Boring, but possible. There is that screenshot of her holding a really glowing lookin’ orb (AND THE INSIDE IS GLOWING REDDISH: THE SAME COLOR AS TROY’S CRYSTALS OHHHHH-) which is probably someone’s Siren powers. My only way to dispute this is to say she also doesn’t have any facial tattoos like Lilith does, (Angel doesn’t have facial tattoos either) though Maya and Steele did have tattoos on their faces, and Troy totally does have a unique facial tattoo that wouldn’t match up with Lilith’s at all (I mention this because it could hint that she is the one to get the powers transferred onto her, not the other way around). Also, immediately after the scene with the image below, there is a shot of an area being absolutely BLITZED by fireballs and Lilith is usually associated with fire (Firehawk).

I do think this snapshot happens right after they steal Lilith's powers. Tyrene looks so smug like “oh, let’s see what this baby can DO”. So either she just got Lilith’s powers, or she’s about to shove her glowing ball into her brother and idk which is worse lol

Now, I mentioned before that Troy has facial tattoos, which don’t match up with Lilith’s tattoos at all. You would think transferring the powers would transfer over the same tattoos. But Alas, to disprove this part of the theory, Tyrene actually has a unique set of tattoos as well, as far as I can tell. 

Her tattoos. I can’t tell if Troy’s are similar or not because of her jacket, but you can catch a glimpse of them here! (At least, I think those are his tattoos. His arm is kinda a weird gray color...  🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 Maybe the transference did an ouch of some kind)

AFAIK neither of these match Lilith’s.

Also, fun fact! Tyrene is the only Siren we’ve seen to not show off her chest tattoos. IDK if its a Siren thing or if they just want to show off their cleavage or what, but unlike the others, her clothes are not revealing whatsoever (in fact, she seals up her neck and stuff? Is weird). Troy, on the other hand, looks like he went on a shopping spree with Macklemore and V from DMC5. He’s also showing a fair bit of abdomen lol (Have you seen his ab tattoo that says Calypso? Neat). Interestingly enough, his red tattoos don’t seem to go down the left side of his abdomen like Siren tattoos do (easily seen on Lilith), nor his chest, and although they could be hidden by his jacket, I don’t think that’s the case. 

Also, I kinda wanna go on a tangent here and talk about his face? At first, I thought he had maybe gotten some Glasgow scars, but if you look up where his sideburns are, that is way too clean and almost mechanical to be scarring (plus, its super symmetrical, he has one right down the middle of his chin as well- which interestingly enough is not visible on his bust in the Mask of Mayhem... then again neither are Tyrene’s scars. Worship at its finest). My first thought after that was that he peeled someone’s face off and stapled it to his own 😅 I mean! He works with psychos, right? It’s not too far fetched? right? (tbh the placement of the metal bits (cheekbones, cheeks, one on his chin) gives me a huge Jack vibe, so maybe it's just his homage to the man, the myth, the legend)

Maybe the tattoos are fake/implanted technology in order to keep the cult in check and the crystals are there to keep them powered/working. Maybe he had to get a face stapled back on after whatever took his arm ripped his face off too. Who knowwwws. Maybe he had to have head implants for his arm to work (if its a prosthetic like Rhys’s, it could just be a huge exoskeleton arm) and being on Promethea (Pandora for a while before they left as per the easter egg I guess), they probably don’t have the greatest medical expertise, unlike Hyperion. Also, the crystals could totally just be a power source for his arm. That’d be super badass, just rip it off his neck and shove it into that ring looking area and power up. I’ll be honest, we’re throwing theories at the wall here to see what sticks!

But back on the topic of Power Stealing! For either one having the power of transferring (be it magic crystals or magic alien space superpowers), they could already have taken another siren’s power and are just adding onto it. Could be the reason Troy has 2 crystals (one for lilith, one for another siren), could be the reason both their tattoos are different from all the sirens we’ve seen so far. 

Personally, I like the theory that they stole the new little girl character’s siren powers and we’re going to help her and Maya get them back. Somewhere in the process, Lilith probably loses her powers to them. It would explain why he has two crystals instead of just one. Maya probably knows all this smart shit about who the twins are and what their cult is and has a plan but needs our help getting to the twins. 

I also just came up with this now, but I like the idea that the little girl is either actually working with the Calypso twins or being manipulated by them in order to get Maya and Lilith to show up on Promethea. Think about it. They need/want to collect Siren powers, right? What better way to do so than to jerk at the heartstrings of two super powerful sirens with a huge connection to their own powers by sending a little girl out who “got hers stolen by some big bad cult leaders”. In the Mask of Mayhem trailer, we see the little girl a few times. At one point, in the top right, right next to Troy and Tyrene, we see an unfamiliar smoll character who looks like this (below) and has the beginnings of what I think are growing wings at her back (meaning Siren) although her left arm is covered, which might mean she probably doesn’t have tattoos. Yet.

Maybe she was promised her own powers if she lured the two Sirens to the Calypso twins. I was going to use her earrings and gages to see if they were the same character but the girl below just so happened to be conveniently wearing a pair of headphones lol. Maybe its just coincidence. I do think their hair is different, the statue has a bun/ponytail, but that could be solved by her chopping it off with that huge knife or keeping it in a bun and keeping her hood up. Maybe the two characters are twins themselves and one joined the cult and the other wants to help her leave. Who knowwwwwsssss

I don’t trust her lies.

Also, one more thing, during the scene with Lilith on the floor, when they’re locking arms, Troy pulls away first, while Tyrene slowly retracts her hand like she’s unsure of what to do. Not the greatest of proofs indeed, but something to think about. Perhaps he’s just impatient to try out his new powers. Maybe he’s done this before and knows what he’s doing. She could just be annoyed and is giving him a death glare behind that fabulous collar. We may never know. There are plenty of ways to read into it.

Of course, Tyrene seems like to big boss type out of the whole thing anyway, so its more than likely she is the one that has the power to take and transfer Siren powers. She is the one in the Mask of Mayhem with the wings, and I find it interesting that they made it a point to have Troy’s left arm (the arm Sirens have their tattoos on!!) to be “under construction” during the video. It’s very likely the reason is because he gets his tattoos through his sister during the game. If that’s the case, well fuckin’ played Gearbox. Foreshadowing 100.

Shit, idk, maybe it's all just some weird shit that happens when your twin is a Siren. You get like... negative siren powers. it would explain his Shadow the Hedgehog color scheme smh. She stole all the blue pigment from him in the womb so he’s just red in the places her tattoos are lmao

Maybe his crystals are just Promethea’s version of Eridium, after all, the Vault key here seems to be producing a shitton of red light. be weird tho, since eridium didnt exist until we opened the vault so... maybe tannis just grabbed one of them siren-power-holding-crystals you just brought her after beating the shit out of an emo biker fuck and shoved in the vault key and prayed it would work while t-posing to assert dominance

who knowwwwwsss 

[wahbegan]

Gather ‘round, children, while i begrudgingly hyper-analyze everything in the THIRD IT (2017) trailer

You know the drill by now i’m putting a read more here because even if i try to be brief which i’m going to try it always ends up failing soooo yeah

1. So it opens with something very similar to the MTV first look, with Stan’s frankly fucking depressing Bar Mitzvah speech that should really concern any adults present, and several similar shots to that trailer. The one thing is we see Bill and Bev engage in a bit of flirty pre-teen eye contact at the watering hole, and Stan’s bit about “you think the universe revolves around you....but that isn’t true” COULD be foreshadowing some of the more cosmic themes in the story

2. This looks like probably The Losers making their blood oath? Idk when else they stand in a circle and join hands like that and it’s definitely after the bullies have broken Eddie’s arm due to his cast. Now the LOSER with a V scrawled over the S isn’t from the book i don’t think but i assume the LOSER was put there by the same bullies who gave him the cast in the first place and someone i’m guessing Bev probably put the V over it

3. The red balloon floating out from behind the Warner Bros logo is a nice touch

4. The couple in the car is just a random couple illustrating ITs control over the people of the town, making them apathetic to the ghastly shit going on actually i think they were in the book too, they just drive past when Henry’s trying to carve his name into Ben’s stomach and a red balloon floats up in the backseat minus the red balloon i think that is a pull straight out of the novel

5. I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT PENNYWISE’S EYES A HA!!! They in my first breakdown i said i thought it looked like they were doing the thing where Georgie sees his eyes as yellow at first and then It changes them to blue to gain his trust and this basically confirms it. Also first sample of Pennywise’s voice and it sounds pretty durn spooky

6. The shot of the empty storm drain makes me think that rather than pulling his arm off which would be extremely gruesome even for a hard R horror movie and more importantly hard to do without showing ITs transformation, which is only hinted at in the book as something soul-shatteringly horrifying, they’re probably gonna like It grabs Georgie’s arm, he looks in fear and starts screaming his head off, his screams cut off, and it’s implied that It dragged him bodily down into the sewers. That’s also later in the trailer Bill says something about “another Georgie going missing”, which seems to confirm that. That would also explain why Georgie’s “ghost” in later scenes has both arms intact

7. So Mike’s talking about his grandfather (Mike is the like town historian of the group and i’m glad they’re keeping that intact cause they totally ditched it in Fukunaga’s script), which is interesting cause it’s actually Mike’s Dad in the original that passes on the lore of It and talks about the Black Spot burning down but since the setting’s been updated to the ‘80s, it makes sense that they’d change it to his grandfather. Anyway, while Mike’s talking about that, you can see the Bangor Maine statue of Paul Bunyan that later comes to life and attacks Richie Tozier in the novel, which is a nice touch

8. Ben in the library, now i earlier talked about how Ben it’s weird that It makes Its presence known here, because in the book it’s just kind of there’s a little bit of foreshadowing with the librarian reading the Billy Goats Gruff to the children, but for the most part it’s just like Ben being a kid and writing the poem for Bev. Now this kind of explains why, apparently he’s actually doing some research on It, which i mean makes sense they’re gonna have to cut out some of the longer just like character establishing scenes or mix them with scare scenes to make it into a 2 hour movie, even if they are only doing half. Anyway, the articles he’s looking at reference the Kitchener Ironworks explosion, the event that sent It back into hibernation in 1906, and the Silver Dollar Massacre, the event that woke It up in 1904. 

9. Woodcutting of It, which seems to....in going back to what i said before True Detective and Beasts of No Nation’s Cary Fukunaga wrote a script treatment for It a couple years ago and it fell apart due to him trying to shoehorn in really bizarre and fucked-up scenes of sexual violence involving children but they are taking elements of that and inspiration from it, it looks like and anyway in that script (which you can find online with a bit of digging) Ben is the town historian instead of Mike, so especially since the projector coming to life scene seems to have taken the place of the old picture book from Mike’s Dad coming to life scene this is probably where the book with the history of Derry is introduced in the plot is instead of being from Mike’s Dad, it’s just a book Ben finds in the library. I personally don’t like it cause i really, REALLY want like Mike to basically be 100% the Haunted House Historian of the group because otherwise his role is like.....y’know Token Black Kid(TM) but anyway no opinions yet just analysis moving right along

10. Georgie’s “ghost” with a red balloon leading Bill down into the basement it looks like i was right and first of all this does confirm it’s in the Denbroughs’ basement, but it looks like i was right and this is how he first encounters It, rather than a picture of Georgie leering and winking at him and then bleeding all over the place which i mean from a cinematic perspective makes sense it’s more dramatic leaves more room for tension to be built. Then again, they could also be doing both, with the picture being sort of a lead-up scare to the basement, i mean it looks at the beginning like Bill is in Georgie’s room i’m just guessing based on the wallpaper when he notices the wet tracks leading downstairs

ALSO i didn’t catch this until now but Bill is holding and subsequently drops a lego turtle which is a nice reference to the novel, although apparently according to Muschietti, that’s about the only reference we’re getting to The Turtle which....hrrrngggg

11. Pennywise attacking Bev in her bathroom. Now, she is wearing the same shirt as she is in the blood/black liquid geyser scene, so i assume it’s right after that she doesn’t appear to have anything on her but it wouldn’t very well be....see i’m having trouble with the chronology here because it doesn’t really make sense for It to grab her and THEN she hears voices in the sink, but...all i can think of is after in the book after she hears the voices and the geyser comes out and she sends her dad away, she cleans up the bathroom and sticks a tape measure down the drain trying to see how far it goes, and then It grabs it and starts running with it and laughing and then lets go and it snaps back and the end’s covered in blood and It talks to her again. This could be right after that or instead of that, that’s the only place i can think of it fitting in. Like the tape measure snaps back and she goes to leave and Pennywise is right there OR fake-out, she sticks the tape measure down nothing happens....nothing happens....nothing happens....and it looks like you’re in the clear and then Pennywise is right there which could work

12. If you pause at the shot of the gang in the street, you can still see a huge gash on Ben’s stomach, and Bev’s face looks a bit fucked up too. Now Ben’s in a different shirt than he is when Henry cuts him, and it’s not an H, plus Henry lifted his shirt up, it’s just a huge gash, which makes me think this is right after the werewolf scene at 29 Neibolt Street. Okay yeah i just looked and they’re all in the same outfits they’re in in that scene, so. Now what’s weird is Eddie doesn’t...appear to be with them in this shot? Unless he’s just off-screen, idk what that’s about cause we clearly see him going in with them and inside, maybe he just left the gang to go home first cause of his mom, i dunno.

13. Betty Ripsom’s sneaker, as seen in the MTV first look, one of Its first victims

14. Henry Bowers flicking open a switchblade standing next to his mailbox pretty much confirms my theory that that’s what him walking towards the red balloon was about. His face is a bit fucked up, probably his Dad’s doing. Now in the book there’s no one incident with his abusive father that pushes him over the edge, it’s just told in backstory that he’s a war vet with PTSD and possible brain damage who’s been abusive to Henry his whole life and only shows him approval when he’s doing terrible, horrible things, but they really don’t have room to fit that in the movie, so they’ll probably just have one scene of his Dad going apeshit on him and this’ll be right after that (also kinda like Fukunaga’s script)

15. Couple shots of It in the sewers, what’s weird here is that in what appears to be the basement to the house on 29 Neibolt Street, there’s a well entrance? Which isn’t exactly present in the novel i don’t think but would explain how It gets from the sewers up into that house and why It likes to haunt it so much

16. The woman right between the shot of the well and the shot of the pharmacist, i believe is Eddie’s emotionally abusive Munchausen by Proxy-afflicted mother based on her description in the book but idk i’d have to look at the cast

17. Gotta be honest, right about here the trailer starts moving too fast for me to follow effectively and there’s some stuff that i can’t really place, even if i pause, but i’ll do my best. No idea what the red glow is. I don’t think The Deadlights given that they’d all be shrieking and insane or dead

18. It seems to be standing behind plastic curtains like they have in slaughterhouses here? I have no idea why, nothing like that in the novel, although Mike’s Dad owns a slaughterhouse in Fukunaga’s script, so idk that could be it. I hope not honestly and it doesn’t really look like anything real, It just looks like some bizarre dreamscape It’s conjured up. It is worth noting i forgot until just now, but one of Its forms the actor credited as playing it is credited as “The Butcher”, so that could be right before It transforms into that form to hunt....someone at some time, idk when or who. Also Its eyes seem to be going full Deadlights here so i’m guessing whoever It’s hunting doesn’t make it out alive

19. I’ve been racking my brain since i first watched the trailer like two hours ago and i have no earthly idea why the hell Bev’s floating. I can’t even....begin to guess. I mean floating could be....it could be this movie’s way of visualizing someone partaking in The Ritual of Chud, which Bev never does in the novel in either Ritual so this would be a radical departure but idk i wouldn’t mind somehow i don’t think that’s what it is though, especially since the spider’s nowhere to be seen. I have no idea what it is, but...one thing that does come to mind is it could be...ugh in Fukunaga’s script which it really looks like they’re sticking with in large part more and more at least the first draft of it which is...look it’s mainly the subsequent draft that’s weird and gross and shitty but i wasn’t crazy about the first draft either and one of the reasons i wasn’t is because in Its lair, rather than a giant spider, they go into this weird room where physics stops applying and they float up these waterfalls that go up to the ceiling and there’s this upside-down pool with a big one-eyed starfish monster at the bottom/top of it that’s supposed to be Its true form and i.....really, REALLY didn’t like that and her floating up like this could be something similar to that and they’re all gonna float up to wherever Its true form resides which once again i’m hoping is not the case

20. Looks like Mike’s being attacked by several pairs of burnt hands here, it looks like down in the sewer, so i think it’s safe to assume that’ll be Its preferred form when trying to terrorize him, which makes sense seeing as how his Dad (or i guess Grandfather in this) is the one who tells the story of the people who burned in the Black Spot

21. The Losers screaming and trying to pull, who is that? Eddie? Out of the sewer idk not much to go on

22. Probably how Pennywise first shows himself in the house on 29 Neibolt rather than jumping out of an exploded toilet drain, which is fine. WHAT I LOVE is that his upside-down contorted position, besides being creepy as fuck, seems to imply he’s gonna do some kind of Exorcist spider-walk out of the closet, which would be awesome foreshadowing

23. The long, creepy female arm reaching out behind Bill doesn’t correspond to any of Its known forms, but is probably this mysterious “Judith” we’ve heard teased at in production who’s said to be absolutely horrifying.

24. Andres Muschietti has said in no uncertain terms that It’s not going to turn into any “classic” monsters in this movie, including the werewolf, but It’s definitely turning into something Werewolf-esque here. I mean, well to be fair It specifically turns into The Teenage Werewolf in the novel/mini-series, and It could just be that he meant It wasn’t going to turn into that, It still turns into some kind of werewolf. Or it could be that Muschietti was straight-up lying WHO KNOWS

25. I have....no idea what the hell is around Ben’s neck here. I’ve paused and been staring at it, but....I was thinking maybe spiderwebs but it doesn’t really look like it? And also they’re so thick and sticky in the book that if you touch one when you try to pull away you leave flesh behind, so that would be...problematic to be wrapped around his neck. It also doesn’t really look like spiderwebs? More like ragged material from Pennywise’s clown costume? Actually, it could also i mean The Werewolf and The Mummy were the two forms Muschietti explicitly stated It would NOT be taking in this movie, but this definitely looks like those could be mummy wrappings around his neck so idk maybe explicitly saying “he’s not gonna turn into a werewolf or a mummy” was a deliberate misdirect and this is some kind of version of the mummy encounter

26. Stan getting grabbed by Pennywise. The background is pitch black and he’s in the same shirt he’s in in that shot in the MTV first look where he looks terrified that i theorized was the standpipe, so this is i mean i’m pretty much 100% sure it’s the same scene, the question is whether i was right about it being in The Standpipe. But seeing as how it’s pitch-black and all and drowned kids are still scary, it probably is, i don’t see why they’d change that scene

27. I think this is Patrick Hockstetter at the end with the fire? Idk in Fukunaga’s script he’s a pyromaniac and his most notable scene from the book has him lighting farts on fire in the junkyard, so it’d make sense and it looks like Owen Teague more than anyone from what i can tell. Anyway, he looks completely terrified, but he also looks like he’s down in the sewers, which means they’ve definitely changed at least some aspects of his death from the book which i’m a bit upset about because that scene was....infamous and revolting and genuinely disturbing. Oh well

28. Finally, the scene with Richie Tozier in the room full of clown dolls. Not sure where this would fit in, as it’s an entirely new scene, nothing like it in the novel, the mini-series, or Fukunaga’s scrapped script. I thought maybe it would be Richie’s encounter with It instead of getting attacked by the statue since that could definitely come across as camp, but they definitely still have the statue and idk why if they plan on ditching that scene, unless it’s just as a little nod or they plan on doing something more subtle with it. Then again, when Richie runs into the statue, he’s running from Henry Bowers and his gang, who chase him through a toy store so actually yeah it definitely could be during that part and the statue will be put to different use, maybe giving him a subtle little taunt or wink after he’s escaped the clown doll room.

I know there are things i didn’t talk about, but it’s because they’re shots from the other trailers which i’d already discussed

Oh yeah, speaking of which, if you want, you can check out

My first trailer breakdown My second trailer breakdown And my crash course in Pennywisology 101