#but yeah i don't think anyone would care if u skipped the first couple of their albums even

[babieken]

hi niki i’m annabelle (aka skzandnct, although i’ll be changing my url soon…you know how it goes lol). anyway i’ve been following you for a lil and i just wanted to say hi & you seem v cool !!! i definitely have a special appreciation for my monstaxtuals <333 i’m pretty new to stanning the group (and kpop in general tbh) but like, of all the kpop groups i feel like their music is the most ME. crescendo is my favorite song ever i listen to it every day at LEAST once. i’m still working through their discography, so i also wanted to ask, do you have a fave album/era of their music ??

ok now that i have rambled i am going to go, hopefully talk to you sometime soon :) !!

Oh hiiii annabelle!!! Nice to meet you!!! This is so sweet omg 🥺😭💜🫣💖💘💖❤️‍🩹💞❣️i love having new moots to talk to!!!🥹🥹🥹

Oh ooofff new to kpop... u did not join at the best time my friend 😞 i think kpop peaked at 2015 (i got into kpop late 2016 iirc) and it started going downhill since 2019-2020... and now with this whole hybe buying other big companies and potentially ruining them, the future does not look good for kpop.... anyway🤡 what was the topic? RIGHT Crescendo!!! Yes omg its a fucking masterpiece... Crescendo and Daydream are my favorite tracks of Reason but my favorite monsta x album and era is Fatal Love without a doubt and hesitation.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

The Spidey Squad Playing Among Us

Masterlist

Welp, this game is all the rave all of a sudden and irdk how since the game's pretty much been here forever lol but it's still fun so I had to jump on the bandwagon and here we are! Make sure you check go out @chaoticpete's new fic. Anyways here it is! If this gets enough likes I might do an avengers headcanon too.

Thanks to @angelsparkers for helping me realize I wasn't writing complete garbage and helping me to get through it even though she didn't even know she was doing that. So yeah thanks for that.

Peter

Crewmate: Peter is that crewmate that will 100% call you out on your bs, because he knows the game a little too well for you to be able to pull anything over him(because of all that free time waiting on patrol). You think all that stuff with the avengers didn't teach him strategy? Ha! This guy is PEAK detective. Gets his tasks done fast and when he's done is probably spending his time monitoring people on security or vitals. It only took him like 2 weeks to memorize all the maps and where everything is, so if you say you were in navigation, you better believe he's gonna ask you what task you were doing there. And if you don't answer to his liking, Peter will sound the "sus" alarm on you in two point five seconds and have everyone voting you out. He's probably the only person that could figure out MJ when she's the impostor. So if you're the impostor, watch your words and make sure your alibis are strong cuz little Petey ain't playin' no games. Definitely gets attacked from time to time by those people that are always like "sMaRt PpL rUiN tHe GaMe"

Impostor: He's pretty much the most average impostor. Sometimes he doesn't know what to say when people call him sus and he'll get voted out because he's being "too quiet" or because Ned keeps defending him. He'll mess up every now and then but for the most part, he's pretty decent. His style is usually to stay in the vents most of the game and kill when only one person's around. He probably bribes Ned to not rat him out by promising him that he won't kill him.

Name: It used to be just Peter, but soon he wanted an actual cool name so he chose Sherlock because of all the times when he was "too smart" and won the game too quickly and people would go "pack it up Sherlock" and vote him out.

Favorite color to be: It used to be red, but he quickly found that the more he was red the more people found him "sus" so now he's usually either blue or cyan

Ned

Crewmate: Pretty average crewmate. 80% of the time is covering for Peter, even if Peter is the impostor. Won't do much calling people out unless he's absolutely sure that he saw a kill or vent. Pretty chill and easily persuadable. You'd definitely want him on your team. If he ever gets wrongfully ejected he's the one that pitifully tries to plead his case saying stuff like "what???" and "guys it's not me!!!!" which doesn't really convince anyone and just makes him look more guilty. He'll still do his tasks after though.

Impostor: He's the impostor that doesn't want to be the impostor. If you're texting then maybe he can hold his own, but if you're doing voice chats, there's no way this guy is getting past ANYONE. He has so many tells that it's ridiculous. Is actually scared to vent too much because he's always paranoid that someone's gonna be right there when he jumps out. 8/10 the crewmates win when he's the imposter because he'll just kill like only two people the entire time or gets caught really early on.

Name: Probably some sci-fi reference like r2d2 or Potter

Favorite color to be: Yellow or white because he says those are the most "innocent" colors and he'll be less likely to get voted if he's those (not true but we'll let him believe it)

MJ

Crewmate: Suspicion times 100. Her motto: trust no one. Will get you kicked out in a heartbeat with a quick "trust me. if it's not them vote me next." An absolute unit but will never be caught getting emotional over a game. If she's ever wrongfully ejected her last words will be "whatever. go ahead. vote me and lose." She'll just come back in the next game with a vengeance and false accusations ready, not caring if the entire team loses because of it. She's especially dangerous to have because people usually trust her word. She always finds a way to seem the least suspicious. Though sometimes she'll get suspected because of her quiet nature. There's always that one guy that's ready to go "uR qUiEt ThAt'S sUs!!"

Impostor: If MJ is the impostor, you can just throw your whole phone away. You're not winning that game. Like, ever. She will do whatever it takes to win, even sell out her own her partner. On the off chance that you catch her being suspicious, she'll sabotage a bunch of things so that you can't call meetings and then she'll kill you when no one's around. She is ruthless and will hurt your feelings with the way that she will own everyone in the game. Hardly anyone ever expects her. Thrives on venting. You won't see her you'll just be doing a task and suddenly you'll be dead.

Name: Used to be just MJ but she got annoyed with all the people in the messages who always assumed she meant Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan so she changed it to Michelle

Favorite color to be: She literally doesn't care either way. Won't change the gameplay so why bother? Whatever color she ends up with she'll be fine.

Betty

Crewmate & Impostor: The most average player of them all. She wins some, she loses some. Nice partner to have though, because she'll never give you away. Probably the first to die most times. If she ever gets wrongfully ejected she's the one that uses her last words to say who she thinks it and doesn't even try to plead her case once it starts to look bad for her. She just finished the rest of her tasks.

Name: Probably either her name or some nickname or inside joke. Idk she just seems like the type of person to have a reference to something that absolutely nobody knows

Favorite color to be: Pink. Just because she likes pink.

Flash

Crewmate: Claims things are sus even if they aren't. Will totally be biased based on names. Anybody who knows him will never count him as a credible source. Gets voted out quickly alot because of how annoying he is in the game.

Impostor: He's the easiest to figure out. He's the impostor that obnoxiously accuses literally everyone else. And in all capital letters too. "ITS RED I STG. IF IT'S NOT HIM VOTE ME NEXT!" Calls everyone sus and always claims he's seen people running from the body. He usually self-reports and goes for the easy marks in electrical. He's not that good (even though he thinks he is) and it takes anyone with a brain to figure him out. Peter and MJ are bane of his existence in that game. If he gets wrongfully ejected he'll rage and probably leave the game like the little crybaby he is.

Name: Spideys#1 because he's really just THAT obsessed. Or when he's really feeling "teenage boy" he'll be cOchieman

Favorite color to be: Red because sPiDeRmAn'S hIs BeSt FrIeNd (ahahaha if only he knew)

May

She didn't know this game at all until Peter introduced her to it one day because he was bored. She LOVED it. He had to pry it out of her hands after she kept repeating "Hold on, one more!" So she downloaded on her phone and now she plays it whenever she's bored.

Crewmate: Average. Same as Betty.

Impostor: The way May can actually dominate being the impostor is sort of scary. And she'd always be the last person you'd expect because she just has that trusting vibe about her. Sometimes she'll mess up and give herself away, but for the most part, she's pretty good. Doesn't vent much. Just like Ned, she doesn't trust it.

Name: Madonna

Favorite color to be: She doesn't care much but she prefers to be purple, cyan, or orange

Funny Moment

《Peter calls an emergency meeting 10 seconds into the game》

- Michelle: what

- Betty: what

- Michelle: skip

- r2d2: bro already?

- Sherlock: okay everyone just listen

- k0chieman: bruh

- Michelle: okay listen to what

- Sherlock: flash what task are you doing

- Betty: alright were listening

- k0chieman: the divert thingy in navi

- r2d2: pete what is this

- Sherlock: yeah dude that diverty thingy is the second of two steps

- Sherlock: u never did the first

- Sherlock: which means ur an impostor faking

- Michelle: flash?

- k0chieman: no

- k0chieman: i did do it

- r2d2: the times low we gotta decide guys

- Sherlock: if you did it wouldve taken you 12-15 seconds to get there and were not that far in the game

- Sherlock: u cant already be doing it

- Sherlock: everybody vote flash

- r2d2: petes on x games mode

- Michelle: damn dude

- k0chieman: wtf parker

- Sherlock: bye dude

- Sherlock: worlds greatest detective strikes again

- Michelle: okay calm down pete

《couple seconds later》

. 　　　。　　　　•　 　ﾟ　　。 　　.

　　　.　　　 　　.　　　　　。　　 。　. 　

.　　 。　　　　　 ඞ 。 . 　　 • 　　　　•

　　ﾟ　　 Flash was An Impostor.　 。　.

　　'　　　 1 Impostor remains 　 　　。

　　ﾟ　　　.　　　. ,　　　　.　 .

Best Imposter Combos

Peter & Ned: Goes without saying. Nine times out of ten they're in the same room while playing this so they can just talk strategy to each other and take everyone out really quickly. Really annoying for everybody else, but they'll win so they're happy.

MJ & Peter: These two together are a force to be reckoned with. The second they see that they're both impostors they call each other up and get to business like they're on a mission. This stuff is serious. (More for Peter than MJ. She has to keep telling him that it's just a game.) He stays on security stuff, telling her when it's safe, and she racks up the kills. When things get heavy, they sabotage and then go on a spree. These two hardly ever lose. (When the whole squad is together whoever's in charge [if it's not Pete or MJ] usually puts the kill cooldown at max just in case these two get that they can't be at full power)

MJ & Betty: Betty isn't afraid to sacrifice herself so that they'll win and MJ is ruthless and quick with her kills. Both have the smarts to be able to be extremely persuasive and you'd hate for them to pick you to frame. Because being put against those two in the chatroom will lead you nowhere but abyss of space.

May & Peter: Parkers united. 'Nough said.

Tagging: @spideyyeet, @soft-petey, @spidey-reids-2003, @spidey-boy-89, @sovereignparker, @bubblebucky, @underoosjae

[sickficsforthesoul]

here's a prompt ?(or whateverits called): not a request ! also  ، ¿ ¡ ૮₍ 𖦹 ˕ ×` ₎ა ! ?·＊·  anon or 🧛🏻‍♀️ anon(emoji form) .  : the sickie hates today so much. they had to go to school bc it was a important practice match they had to be in. but they got a stomach bug yay! good 4 them !! they woke up feeling like shit , they knew they were sick. they wanted to stay in bed . praying to any god that they weren't gonna be sick. they fell asleep again saying just to rest for a few more minutes (well it ended up being 30 minutes ) now they only had 30 minutes to get to school, they knew they actually had to wake up. running out of bed to get there clothes and change as fast as they could (they dont shower in the morning and they were to lazy to brush their teeth) rushing out of bed that fast made them all dizzy . great . now they're stomach hurts. yep they were gonna vomit. they knew they couldn't make it to the bathroom . so they found a place that could store it , they rushed finding something in their room . they searched their desk. feeling the vomit rising up. shutting their mouth bc they dont want their desk getting vomit on it. it was so strong it went in their nose. they couldnt hold it in anymore. throwing up in their desk  wetting all the papers. homeworks . they were gonna get in trouble at school. they had no hw anymore . well they were gonna be late to practice if they cleaned it up.so they ignored it. gagging at the smell of it. they finally finished their daily routine . they skipped breakfast (just like most of the times). they grabbed a mask and went to school . playing games on their phone to distract themselves.  sadly that didnt work . they got all dizzy , they put their phone. feeling too dizzy they nearly tripped . they countied waking to school. remembering they only had 5 minutes left they had to continue walking faster. they started running. while running they were thinking abt how they got sick. :: I prob  got sick from some1 in my class. yeah. they threw up in the classroom and they sat near me. they were probably coughing alot.. ew.. :: they arrived at school. going into the volleyball ball gym changing room. no1 was there . they were probably practicing.  suddenly they felt their stomach growl. it hurts so much. why today they ask. they wrapped their arms around them and it hurts so bad. when it kinda stop they had the courage to change into their volleyball club uniform and go to the gym. while walking there they started coughing.having a coughing fit made every1 look at them . they hated that . they really dont like  being the center of attention.  some1 from their team asked "hey you ok?" they just said yeah. the coach said to run 4 laps around the gym. uh how much they hated running. they only did 1 and a half.(END PT 1) they couldn't handle 4 laps. while some1 was running they saw them hiding (so no1 can see them slacking off) they asked "um?? what's wrong ? ud probably get in trouble if coach finds out.  I'm already on my 3rd lap . ig in  3 mins its over. r u just gonna stay here? and also if u act like this it the match . you'll get in big trouble. they just said "ok". when the coach said ok! they went back in the gym and prepared the net. they started a sneezing fit which caught som1 to give them tissue. they eventually stopped . they're nose is so stuffy they can barely breathe.  they really want 1 more tissue but they don't have any , they ended up using their arm as a tissue. well atleast only 1 person saw. every1 was practicing.  it was gonna end it 10 mins . they're shocked how they went so far. when they setted the ball they suddenly felt they're stomach grumble. they cant just suddenly go to the bathroom.  they had to wait. uh they started feeling nauseous and they silently stared gagging.  then came the wet coughs , they could feel the vomit loudly.  end . pt1

(contin.) they had to fake spike? idk . they didnt have the power to do so. obviously they looked like they were faking it. they're team lost, they honestly didnt care . then some1 hit then on their back saying to,work hard. some vomit came up . they swallowed it . they thought it tasted so bad. they started coughing really loudly.  every1 was looking (they had to rush to the bathroom but since every1 was looking they didn't want to make a scene so they didnt ) they waited till every1 wrnt to they changing room /club room.  finally every1 besides 1 person who was a benched player went to the toilet . oh no. they cant wait that there was vomit coming up they wanted to wait for at least 2 mins , but they couldn't only 36 seconds.  they started to vomit .  in their hands . dripping on the gyms floor. they couldn't make it into a stall so they threw up in the bathroom floor. threw up already half of what they had. they heard the doors unlocking from the bathroom (it was the benched player) they rushed into a stall so he couldn't see them  . they walked out and saw vomit.  they didnt care , they walked out like nothing happened. they were still vomiting , they didn't have enough strength to propt themselves up to puke inside the toilet,  they just ended  up throwing up on the floor . they thought they were done after dry heaving for 2 minutes.  getting up to go to the changing room to change into their uniform.  they didnt tie their tie properly but they dont care. going into their classroom late. like 10 minutes late. they got scolded for wearing their tie wrong and being late.also not bringing hw. yay good for them this class they didnt do anything. so they just fell asleep /WITH THEIR MASK ON!// pt2done

while waiting they double bagged the plastic bags to prevent in from seeping thru. one the bus came. the sickie regretted going on already feeling dizzy once they sat down , they sat at the back where no1 sits (although that would make them more dizzer, but they didnt know that) after 5 minutes of the ride (there was some traffic. normally itd take 10 minutes. but since there is traffic they didnt how long they'd have to wait.) "[caretakers name]...while wet coughing.mm candy." they rushed to give the candy. it soothed their throat for 5 minutes until making them dizzy . lying down on the caretaker,while they play with their hair. they fell asleep. after 20 minutes (still in traffic) they woke up to the bus driving. they woke up and asked for water. they drank the water in small sips. they didnt vomit. the they drank it quickly before spitting it out. then coughing. they nearly threw up. swallowing it . asking while coughing for the 'bag'. they grabbed it and held on it and tried getting it out bc they were very nauseous. they couldn't. until the bus continued moving. they're grip to it was very weak. the bus suddenly moving made their stomach growl. and letting of their bag to hold on their stomach. the care taker asked "what's wrong ???? you let go... r u gonna ..." "no. stop.u will make me.stop.talking abt it"(they hated vomit so much thinking abt it makes them gag) the sickie was shaking. they messed up dropping the bag and it flew away. they caretaker getting their jacket just incase yk they vomit. after the bus stops again. a couple and a 2 ppl (4 alltogether)decided to sit in the back. their stomach hurts so much... they started crying. the bus started moving more . 2 more stops till their stop. they gagged. letting go of their hand on their face. "I'm gonna-" the caretaker getting the jacket and hugging the sickie to cover them . they threw up on the caretaker. the couple moved away in disgust whilst the 2 other ppl stayed. just on their phone. "ppl r looking...." "I want to leave.. " "''dont worry , no1 is looking'' the care taker grabbed their bag looking for a (idk the word but it's like a towel but not , you stick it on some1 face and it cools them down) they place it on the sickie. they sickie just dry heaving at this point. they said "sorry.." it's ok. - ¿ ¡ ૮₍ 𖦹 ˕ ×` ₎ა ! ? / 🧛🏻‍♀️ , which haikyuu character do you think this is? also very bad prompt :). again,not a request.

This sounds a lot like Kunimi to me, but I'm also getting Kita, Ennoshita, and Jin (Soekawa) from this. Maybe Yamaguchi too.

For Kunimi, his primary caretaker is the sweet but helpless Kindaichi. Kindaichi really means well, but he's terrible at taking care of sick people, so he just makes everything worse for Kunimi in the end. The rest of Seijoh ends up helping eventually, but it's just Kindaichi for a while, and he does not handle that well. Kunimi basically takes care of himself while Kindaichi stands in a corner muttering apologies. After this incident, Kindaichi resolves to be a better caretaker and starts doing research and taking first aid classes later on.

Kita's primary caretaker is Aran. He's much more competent than Kindaichi and takes good care of Kita for as long as the captain needs it. There isn't much to say after the incident because Aran handles everything so well.

Ennoshita is stuck with the other benched 2nd years (Kinoshita and Narita). They're okay caregivers but nothing special. Ennoshita is the most nurturing of their trio, and with him out of commission, Kinoshita and Narita do their best to help their friend. Ennoshita still has to do some things for himself, but Kinoshita and Narita can at least know the basics of taking care of someone, so Ennoshita still has it better than Kunimi.

Jin gets two caretakers too because why not. His caretakers are Reon and Semi. Both are very experienced with taking care of others and are the unofficial team parents, so Jin has it very good. He recovers pretty quickly thanks to the excellent care he receives from Semi and Reon.

Yamaguchi's primary caretaker is obviously Tsukishima. Daichi and Suga try to help too, but Yamaguchi gets panicked by anyone who isn't Tsuki, so Tsuki has to deal with basically everything. Tsuki also ends up calling Akiteru for help because he's just so out of his depth caring for another person. Akiteru, on the other hand, took care of Tsuki for years and is a wonderful caregiver. Yamaguchi recovers well with the comforting presence of his best friend and the lovely caretaking of Akiteru.

[ultrahamilham]

You tagged me in a thing and I had a stroke, bless you

I get all Pikachu meme whenever I see you in my dash and you've referred to me and acknowledged my existence because it is literally the best thing ever, I have a mini stroke every time

Three ships: Jamilton, Jamilams and Jamilmads (would've said lams but then it just sounds like I'm saying the same ship in three different ways lol)

Last song: Uhh, I don't listen to music much, but Ultimately by Khai dreams

Last movie: The Hunchback of Notre dame

Currently craving: Sushi, oddly enough (I haven't had it in about nine years but still, want)

Currently reading: The Da Vinci code, and about five different fanfictions

About a very late answer to your question (My family has COVID, which is shocking to hear, or so I'm told, but they're recovering and they fortunately had a mild case and no one has any history of disease so they're going to be okay! That's what the doctor said and I'm praying), Taco hell made me laugh really hard when I read it and really lifted my spirits because I remember being in not a great place when I started it but it made me smile which was like, a thing for me, and don't judge me but I think The three way was probably my favourite and I don't want to think about what that says about me but it was really because I love works that are that long (around 50k is always my sweet spot). I'm not sure if I'm remembering right and I'm so so sorry if I'm getting the title song wrong but that one Jamilton fic with uh, Gucci and fendi in the title was really fun to read ;-;

I also remeber the first work of yours I ever read was this comfort Whamilton around 1.5 or 2k where it starts raining and Alexander is on edge but George comforts him- Okay, I'm ranting now, apologies. ;-; (idk You're super cool and I want to talk to you like, normally, but you'll hateee me and I don't want that and so here)

I never really get a chance to respond as soon as I'd like, BUT I never get to and if you don't want to know/care about my life- please skip to the next paragraph thank you. So, I did end up watching Snowpiercer! I watched all ten episodes in one day which is iffy to say the least, but I'm still alive! I did love it. And I've been alright- a bit anxious with everything, but I've been giving my tests and uni and stuff. Yesterday, I was about to go to the vet when u realised about two minutes into the ride that I forgot my dog so that was embarrassing. Almost competing with the time I dropped my phone and then followed it, dropping to my knees and immediately bursting into tears (Nothing even happened to my phone!). So if you read this, thank you again.

I wanted to ask how you were doing too! If you don't mind xxx

And as for the fanfic writer asks, would you mind answering 50 ;-;

Wgjfvqkcwkh also I heard about you and Henni getting married so CONGRATULATIONS that is the most amazing, sweetest thing and in honestly so f*cking happy for both of you. I audibly awwed when I saw that post and I can't believe I just remembered.

I'm so sorry this got out of hand with how long it is, I didn't mean for it to be ;-;

-shy anon, sincerely apologising for possibly ruining your day by oversharing and/or overstepping (also with love and congratulations for you and her)

I get the surprised pikachu face whenever you show up in my ask box ;-; It always makes me happy!!!

Okay but sushi is always good. The craving comes randomly for me as well. I didn’t crave it at all when I used to make it for a living, because I got so tired of it, but now I crave it every once in a while lol it’s really good ;-;

I really hope everyone is doing okay! COVID is scary and it’s no joke. Having it before was horrible for me and I would never wish it on anyone. I hope everyone including you is okay ;-;

I’m glad Taco Hell did what I was meaning for it to do! It’s meant to be lighthearted and make people laugh. It’s based off of my life and it’s actual situations I end up in all the time. It’s quite amusing lol

I would never judge you. The Three Way is literally the one fic I am most proud of. I could never judge you. I literally go back and read it every once in a while and go like “I made that... Holy fuck...”

Oh! Gucci Not Fendi is the title. I’m glad you liked it!!!

Rant all you want! I adore that Whamilton fic ;-;

Seriously, my dear, I can promise you that I won’t hate you at all. Believe me, I really won’t. I’m probably the most awkward and annoying person anyone will ever know and I overshare like everything. People know more about me than they really should.. Lol

I care about your life, I was the one that asked you to tell me! But honestly, snowpiercer was soooo good... Like I tried to binge it all in one day but I was trying to write as well and it didn’t go over well lmao, snowpiercer ended up winning! I’m really glad you watched it!!!

That whole forgetting your dog thing is a mood. Today I forgot to turn on the food heaters and I realized it right before it was too late. Almost lost $200 worth of meat... Oops... Lmao

I do that with my phone if I drop it even if it’s okay. I just freak the fuck out and cry before I know if there really is an issue

Also I’m doing good! I decided to just lay back and relax tonight so I’m having a few drinks and I’m gonna watch random shit lol I was up for 33 hours the night before last and slept for 15 hours after. I can’t recommend doing that, especially not when you’re like 24. I’m too old for that shit.

Hell yeah I can do 50! I will give you a sneak peak at the 3rd part of the three way... .-. It will be posted on Oct 19th!!!

Here it is. This is seriously NSFW lol:

Alexander looked down at Thomas and ran the fingers of his free hand through Thomas' hair. He licked his lips as he watched Thomas work his tongue expertly inside George. "You're such a good boy Thomas, you're already wrecking him." He purred. 

Thomas let out a low moan and kept up the work, getting a little more aggressive. Alexander could feel himself getting hard in his pants at the sight coupled with George's shameless moans. Alexander looked back at George's face and grinned a bit. "Are you proud of us, Daddy?" He asked. 

George pressed his forehead against the headrest and panted as Thomas wrecked him. He tried to push back against Thomas to no avail. "Fuck… Y-yes… Yes you two did so good… Please… Please do as you wish… Whatever you choose, do it… I will take whatever you give me, you de-deserve it…" George bit out desperately.

Alexander grinned in delight at that. He looked at Thomas who looked just as excited from what George just said. He then touched Thomas' shoulder. "Alright, that's enough babe. I'm going to stretch him, then we can give him a good spanking. Why don't you undress for me? I have a little treat for you." He purred.  -END of the preview.

Thank you so much! We are so freaking happy that it’s happening. We were planning it more today! It’s so amazing ugh.

I appreciate it all the same! It’s not too long for me at all!! Don’t you worry my dear <3 you didn’t overstep at all!

[sunsetsover]

you're amazing, you get into so much things that i either don't notice or not delve into and when i do my mind is blown. 🖤🖤 and ben and callum's dynamics with lexi, jay and lola, please. the morning scene was the best thing and i hope we get more of that kind of stuff as their relationship blossoms because there's so much aspects to a relationship and it's lovely that they're showing them. also, lola, lexi and jay's scene in the cafe the other day was adorable, he needs all the love right now.

dsjjsdkflksjdkf i’m really not amazing but ily 🥺️🥺️🥺️🥺️ there are some perks to over analysing every little thing i guess!!! but seriously i’m really glad you enjoy reading my posts 💕💕

as for dynamics, there is an awful lot you could unpack there and we’d be here all day but here is my take on it!!

like obviously ben’s dynamics with jay/lola/lexi are very different to callum’s dynamics w them because he’s known them way longer and they have more history and they’re family, you know? but even since ben’s been back the dynamics have changed. like jay has always been his ride or die like they’ve always had each others backs and i feel like that hasn’t really changed much, but his relationship w lola and lexi has definitely changed. like let’s be honest, the only reason he came back to walford w them in the first place was basically to use them to worm his way in with his dad so he could fleece him. he was awful to lola, and did absolutely bare minimum with lexi. am i saying he didn’t love and care about them? no, not necessarily. but i do think he cared more about hurting phil than anything else, and would use whoever and do whatever it took to do that. but like... look at how much that has changed already. he adores lexi. he loves the bones of her, no one can dispute that. has he always done right by her? no. is he father of the year? also no. but he loves her, and he’s trying, and isn’t that what counts? and him and lola are friends now!! they don’t just get along for lexi’s sake, they’re friends who care about each other and defend each other and look after each other and tease each other like!! i love their relationship SO MUCH i wish we saw it more often!!! so like that growth and development from ben alone has been so good to see and it’s so obvious how much he cares about and trusts these people because they were like the only ones who got to see him weak and vulnerable, and now soft and loving like!!! i love it sm

and then you add callum into the mix and like!!! he just fit right in!! like obv he had a history w ben and he was mates with jay before he and ben got together properly but there’s a big difference between that casual friendship and what their friendships have now become, which is part of this weird friendship but also family unit?? and like lola and jay just welcomed him right in, from the get go - like think about lola’s little squeeze of callum’s shoulder in the hospital scene!! she could tell straight away that ben and callum cared about each other and that this wasn’t just fun and games, it was something pretty serious. and ever since then she’s been ben and callum’s biggest supporter and she’s been the one giving them little (and sometimes big) pushes to get their shit together and just get together. like i cannot stress how much i adore callum and lola’s friendship and how lola has just taken him under her wing IMMEDIATELY and she just skipped the awkward stuff and was just like ‘my little baby gay u gotta stop letting people tell u what to do’ (which also!! her saying all of that abt baby gays/trainee homos/amateur queens tells me that’s something her and ben talk about a lot! which fills my heart w so much joy” and then ben looking at lola n shaking his head after callum was like ‘i might be a baby gay...’ tells me that that was something they talked about too... like ben talked to lola about callum!! he talked to her abt callum being a baby gay!! ben talks to lola abt these things!!) and callum just trusted her :-( and jay too!! jay’s the one who’s been listening to callum’s rants and giving him advice and looking out for him when he’s drunk and wallowing and supporting both of them quietly!! like both lola and jay have just immediately accepted callum into the fold bc they know ben and they know he wouldn’t let just anyone get as close as callum already had and they realized that what they had must be special and that ben cares abt him and if ben cares they care and i’m just :-( emo abt it

and that’s not even talking about lexi like!! we’ve only got a couple of scenes of callum and lexi on screen but u can tell from that alone that lexi likes him and trusts him and is familiar with him so they must be spending a lot of time together off screen!! and that’s also very telling of how much ben likes callum and how seriously he’s taking their relationship bc like... he’s not gonna let just anyone spend time with his daughter, is he? he’s not gonna let someone he doesn’t care about do the domestic things with them like have breakfast together and go to school with them - for her sake, if nothing else. so the fact that ben is including callum in all of that must mean he cares abt callum Quite A Bit and sees a future for them. and lexi likes him! they’re spending time together!! all 5 of them!!! like they are all including callum into their weird little family w no hesitation!! no holding back!! they’re just like ‘ok he’s one of us now’ n then they were going on double dates and taking lexi to school and spending mornings together like !!! i love them!!!

and just as importantly, callum is allowing himself to be included in that. he’s not holding back, not being awkward or second guessing them. he’s allowed himself to open up, to confide in lola and jay, let them and lexi see who he really is and how he loves when he’s allowed to love freely, where he’s safe and wanted. like he FINALLY has people who see him and know him fully and accept him and want him around, after years and years of being isolated from everyone because he was hiding such a big part of himself. but now he doesn’t have to hide it anymore - none of it, none of him. that’s so important.

idk lmao just overall i really really love this bizarre little family unit they have developing. there are so many Good dynamics there - like you said, the lola/lexi/jay scene was so cute and heartwarming and i just love them all individually and together and in every configuration of people. idk i just think their individual and combined relationships are so special and important for all of them, bc none of them had very good or stable home lives growing for various reasons but now it’s almost as if they’re creating one for themselves, and for lexi. a little found family that is unconventional and strange but full of the love and safety and stability that they never had when they were lexi’s age. like i KNOW it’s early days and we’re not there yet but there is so much beautiful potential there and i will never forgive ee if the fuck it up :-(

but yeah lmao i hope this satisfies you anon 💖💖💖

[belehakalife]

Okay, finally back to finish my MinnCon recap!

I realized I never actually wrote about my photo ops on Saturday, despite putting the pictures up.

Honestly, it went by so fast that it's a bit of a blur, but it was awesome! I got to hug Rachel! And Ruth! And I got a great picture with Kim & Briana! Four amazing ladies that I didn't really know a whole lot about before this weekend, but they have now gained another fan for life. Seriously. Awesome.

So, got half of my photo ops on Saturday, other half on Sunday.

First thing Sunday morning, photo op with Rich! Because I just had to buy one after my Karaoke Selfie with him and Briana didn't work out.

Me: "Can I have a hug?"

Rich: "You may!"

I know everyone always talks about how amazing Jared's hugs are (and they speak truth!!), but seriously guys, look at that picture! Does that not look like an awesome hug? Because it really, really was. 😊

So then I went to wait in line for the auditorium to open. Sat down and started talking with the girl in line behind me - I wish I could remember her name, we ended up sitting next to each other and hanging out most of the day, but I only asked her name once, and now I can't remember! I think it started with an M, and I remember thinking it was a really pretty name.

Anyway, if you happen to see this, Sunday con friend from Shakopee who goes to the U and has a pretty name that I think starts with M, I would love to stay in touch! I meant to exchange contact info before we left and then I forgot. 😞

Loved the beginning of Ruth's panel! Hoping to see the rest of it online, because then I had to go get in line for my photo op with Jared.

And oh my gosh, I was shaking! Which surprised me a bit, because it seems like a lot of times when I think I'm going to be nervous about something, I end up being strangely calm. Yeah, not this time. Shaking.

I was glad I had my little note to give to Jared, because I know I would not have been able to get the words out. I was having a hard time even explaining the note to the volunteer/staff person when I got to the front of the line. She saw the notecard and asked if I had written down my pose and I said no, it's a note. So she wanted me to give it to the handler and they'd make sure Jared got it, and I couldn't get the words out to explain, "No, I'm autistic and this is my way of communicating right now because I know I'm not going to be able to get the words I want to come out of my mouth."

But! The line was moving quickly and I ended up being able to hand the note to Jared. (Although now I'm totally doubting myself and afraid that I did the wrong thing and what if the note was too personal or too heavy and what if I broke the rules about no personal stories without meaning to and they think I'm one of those fans who just thinks the rules don't apply to me and......)

And once again, it's all kind of a blur, but he read the note and told me he was proud of me, and he hugged me (and he really, really does give amazing hugs!!):

And then I do clearly remember his hand on the back of my head, ruffling my hair a bit, and he told me that he was proud of me again. 😊😊😊

And I was still kind of shaking as I walked away, but I was also so happy because I got to hug Jared and thank him for AKF and let him know just a little bit of how SPN and AKF have helped me, and he told me he was proud of me!!!

And that was secretly the one thing I really wanted to hear from him. I really wanted to hear that he was proud of me, and I actually got to hear that and it meant so much.

Back up to the auditorium then, and thanks to my new friend for saving my seat! 💜

Mark Pellegrino's panel was next. I'm not really a huge fan, to be honest he kind of creeps me out. For those of you who like him, that's cool, you do you, you won't be getting any hate from me, but I don't really have anything to say here.

Finally, it was time for Jared & Jensen's panel It was awesome and hilarious and I laughed so much. Especially at Jared's bad jokes. Bad jokes are my favorite kind of jokes, and he told a bunch of them!

(Sidenote, one thing I love about my family is that we have pretty much all read Garrison Keillor's "Pretty Good Joke Book" enough times that if one of us starts telling a joke, someone else will finish it and we'll just start rapid-fire telling all these awesome bad jokes and it's the most hilarious thing. One of my personal favorites? "What's brown and sticky?" (A stick) OR. Another one: "What's orange and sounds like a parrot?" (A carrot.) 😂 Okay, I'm going to stop now because I keep thinking of more and they're just not as funny when you read them.)

Anyway. I'm so bad at remembering everything that was said, but it was a really good time, and I know it's up on YouTube for anyone who wasn't there (or anyone who *was* there and just wants to relive it like me 😜)

Then I went to go grab some food, because I was *really* hungry.

And then it was time for my J2M photo op! And so I was shaking again. Not quite as bad this time, but still. Was having a hard time talking, but I managed to say something like, "I just really want a hug!" And so I got a hug from the guys and I look kind of ridiculous because I had no idea what to do with my hands so I'm just like... standing there...but it was still awesome. 😁

Then I hung out for a while, waiting for my photo to be ready to pick up. Browsed the vendor booths and bought a bunch more stuff.

Eventually picked up my last picture and then it was time to go. And I really didn't want to. There were a couple other people standing by the door feeling the same way - "Once we go out these doors, it's over..." so that helped a bit. Knowing I wasn't the only one having a hard time leaving.

But eventually we all walked out the door and I went back to my car and headed home. I had said that I *might* stop by my parents' house on the way, but then I had a little talk with myself (out loud) while I was driving that went something like this:

"Now, I know you told them you might stop over, but you said *might*! You do not have to. And you are not going to, because it's a BAD IDEA. You are going to go home and you are going to relax, and you are going to skip going to mom and dad's house because it's a BAD IDEA. I know you feel like it's a good idea right now, because you're really excited and you feel like you have to share that with someone, but they are not going to share your excitement. You know what's going to happen if you go over there? They will probably ask about how much money you spent, and even if you don't tell them, they will lecture you about how much money you spent, and they will *not* get it, and you will end up feeling like shit! So you know what? Let's NOT DO THAT! We are going to go home and we are going to be happy and we are going to go on the internet where people will actually get it and share in the excitement. So there." (I think there were also some "Fuck that!"s thrown in there too, because Kim and Briana's language kinda rubbed off on me a little bit, which is totally not a bad thing! 😜)

So I did the smart self-caring thing and went home, and it was a good decision.

Also, I made a Twitter at some point in the past few days, because going to MinnCon kind of brought me out of my shell just a little bit and I really want to keep moving in that direction and actually interacting with people instead of hiding and lurking. So, twitter.com/belehakalife if anyone wants to look me up! 💜