#but yeah dude please let me know if you wanted john c. or john e. hcs and i'll brainstorm for ya!!

[wepreeshjohnegbert]

dude i love you, this blog, and your tags omg. as someone who trys to put something in all the tags it makes me so happy to someone else do it too! also I adore your Crocker au. does it follow the alpha timeline or does it branch off? do you have any hc’s you’d like to share? anyway your blog is amazing, have a great day!! ❤️❤️❤️

Oh dude thank you so much!! You have NO idea how happy it makes me to see another person who always puts things in the tags, internet high five dude!!

Ooohoho boy, my Crocker au, yeah that’s a bit of a pickle! See, I’d originally made it to stick within the original alpha timeline buuuuuuuut I made a mistake in this drawing I did; I made them use smartphones and they wouldn’t exist in that time-frame which.. was dumb on my part. But it led me to think: what if I actually had my own au? Make things easier on me to just make it an au which DOES follow the original Alphaverse but with subtle changes (for example: they would live and grow up in the modern age with Dave and Rose but I still need to iron it out a bit, need to figure out how that’ll work). If that makes sense? It’s confusing, I know! It’s one of two aus we have here on Preesh ;D

And headcanons!! YES! Now, I’m not sure if you mean Crocker HCs or just ordinary John HCs so.. I’ll direct you to this post I did a while back with my John HCs and add a few new ones here!! ^^

• John C. would most definitely come up with new recipes and try to improve his skills in the world of baking to impress Condy • John E. loves sending Dave recordings of him playing the piano for him to use in his remixes • Going from the previous HC I think John E. would have made a band with the other beta kids on Earth C, they’d come together and play just for fun • John E. and Gcatavrossprite would love spending time together due to their aspects being Breath • Roxy and John E. would be very close with each other due to their similarities and natures, but would not get together due to John not wanting to intrude upon their relationship to Callie • John E. would harness and train his powers when he’s feeling down to distract himself from the pain of the past • John C. would constantly text Jade in hopes of an answer, but most of the time would get ignored due to Jade being careful (It would come to a point where she just cuts all contact off with him, with him trying desperately to find her again) • John C. would continue to help Crocker Corp. thrive and grow even when he’s moved on to comedy • John C. develops abandonment and trust issues after Jade leaves, becoming dependent on Condy and any new friends he might make • John C. meets Dave at one of his SB&HJ movie premiers by pure chance and they hit it off immediately, becoming great friends thereafter

And I’m gonna leave it there because this is long enough already ^^

AND THANK YOU! I’m SO glad people like and enjoy this blog it makes me unbelievably happy!! You have a nice day too, dude!! :D

[chrisevansfuturewife]

always teasing/flirting with rafe but neither of you make a move and your friends are like PLEASE just act on it

Finally: Rafe Cameron

TW: underage drinking, drug usage, language

“hey Y/N” Topper walks up to you, handing you a red solo cup “enjoying yourself?”

You just nod “yeah, having a good time so far”

Kelce makes his way over to the two of you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. It wasn’t weird to you- you’ve known the guys since elementary school along with Rafe. You haven’t seen him yet tonight, presumably snorting yayo down in the finished basement with scandalously clad tourons. Wouldn’t be the first time, certainly won’t be the last.

“wanna head downstairs?” Kelce asks you and Topper and Topper nods

“yeah, come on Y/N why not” he nods towards the basement door “who knows, maybe Rafe will let you sit on his lap for once and not a touron huh?” he elbows Kelce as the two preps laugh in unison

You shove Topper lightly before he wraps his arm around you, walking down the stairs.

the sight of Rafe leaning over the glass coffee table makes your heart pound, you try your best to suppress the sensation by downing whatever Topper previously handed you in your red plastic cup

“hey Y/N” Rafe’s face lights up when he looks up from the coffee table “get over here” he waves you over, smile plastered on his face

he scooches over on the sofa to make room for you, tapping on the leather seat for you to sit next to him

he wraps his arm around your body as you lean into him like a second nature

the orange skinned bleach blondes that surround the rest of the coffee table scowl at you but you’re too busy taking in the scent of Rafe’s expensive cologne mixed with alcohol

“you look great by the way” the blonde smiles as he runs his hand down your thigh

“can i have a bump?” one of the random girls that were oogling at Rafe stand in front of the two of you “or am I interrupting something?”

he shakes his head furiously fast “no, not at all.” he takes the dollar bills from her nail polished fingers and counts it out “this is only 60, but whatever I’ll let it slide just for you”

you stand up from the couch and try not to storm away too dramatically

“woah, looks like pretty princess is mad” Kelce holds his hands up in the air

“not the fucking time”

you were slightly intoxicated, but not as much as you’d like to be. walking over to the bar buffet, you start pouring and mixing drinks into a fresh plastic solo cup

“you sure you wanna do that Y/N?” Topper raises his eyebrows and you nod before downing the mixture you had concocted

“yeah” you put the cup down “i’m pretty sure” you smile, patting your hand on Topper’s chest with a bitchy smirk “i’m- i’m gonna go upstairs and dance” you slur before strutting away from the blonde and heading back up the stairs

Topper makes his way over to Rafe to tap him on the shoulder

he leans in and whispers to his friend “so uh, what was that all about with Y/N?”

Rafe raises his hand “nothing dude.”

“you can’t tell me that was nothing, you gotta make a move on her”

“I don’t wanna mess up our friend group” Rafe justifies “it’s always been us four and if she rejects me it’s gonna be so awkward”

Topper rolls his eyes “you guys literally cuddle, you sleep in the same bed, she always has her hand on your thigh-”

“i get it, I’ll go upstairs”

meanwhile

“Can I get you something to drink?” JJ Maybank walks up to Y/N “we’ve got..” he studies the makeshift bar “whitney, captain, bacardi, henny- ya know what, I’ll whip up a Maybank special just for you”

“thanks JJ”

even though you weren’t close or anything, you knew JJ. He was a good guy, misunderstood, but always had good intentions of trying to protect the ones he loved

“and voila” he smiles handing you yet another red solo cup

“merci” you take the cup from a confused beach bum

JJ just stands there until he mutters “yes”

“I don’t mean this in a rude way but what are you doing here? I never see you at any Kook parties”

“well, John B wanted to come so we decided that we’d all go.” he takes a sip of whatever drink was in his cup “how’s stuff with the hair gel king?”

you were already intoxicated but now you were more so and prone to run your mouth a little more, they don’t call it liquid courage for nothing

“horrible. i don’t think he’s into me which I totally get since like, we’ve known each other for years.” you sigh “I guess I should just like give up honestly. like there’s no point in waiting for my best friend to fall in love with me. Rafe Cameron doesn’t love anyone besides his Coke and himself”

your eyes light up as you see a familiar shag of brown hair complimented by a red bandanna as a scarf

“John B!” you jump up to wrap your arms around the boy

“woah hey there Y/N” he laughs and looks at JJ confusingly “how’ve you been?”

“good good” you take another sip of your drink with your arm still draped around the boy’s shoulder “we should dance, I love this song.” Memories by Kid Cudi blares over the speakers and echo through Topper’s mansion

JJ joins the two of you as you stand in the middle of the two boys. Flipping your hair around, moving your hips to the music

it isn’t long before you’re pressed up against JJ, grinding your ass and swaying your hips against him. he puts his hands on your hips just as Kelce, Topper and Rafe make their only appearance out of the basement

“Y/N” Rafe calls for you over the blaring music “Y/N what are you doing?” Instead of lashing out, he laughs at your drunken moves “hey, come on now” he takes your hand and guides you away from the pogues  

“what are you doing” you pout “I was having fun”

“i know, I know you were babe” Rafe smirks as he takes you over to the couch, leaning you into his chest with his arm around you

“Rafey?” you look up at him, and he turns to make eye contact with you

“yeah?”

“Kiss me”

He looks around nervously for a split second before he looks back into your Y/C/E eyes before wrapping his decorated hands around your jaw, lips moving against the laws of gravity, a magnetic force until you feel his against yours

“you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” Rafe ruffles a hand through his gelled hair

“you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to do that” you laugh, “now it’s my turn”

You wrap your arms around Rafe’s neck as he shifts his hands to your waist. The two of you chest to chest and lips to lips

Kelce and Topper sit on the countertop clapping

“Pay up” Topper smiles, putting his hand out and Kelce rolls his eyes, giving Top a 20 dollar bill “Fin-a-lly!”

The two of you break apart and laugh at your spectators for a split second before Rafe tips your chin and you indulge in another kiss with your best friend

[ziggystardust8675]

Kidnapped

Pairing: Sherlock x reader

AN: I don’t have much to say for once other than I hope you enjoy!

Summary: You get kidnapped my dude.

Warnings: A bit of angst but not much, violence :D

Here you were, sitting in a dark room tied to a chair. You were kidnapped, no sadly not by Moriarty, he would at least be entertaining. Your kidnapper was some lame dude named something like Chad. He was trying to get back at your boyfriend Sherlock for god knows what reason.

You knew that by now Sherlock at least knew you were gone. You just hoped he knew where you were and was on his way to get you. Before you got kidnapped Sherlock was set to go to your flat and get you for a date. While you were being kidnapped you made sure to leave as many clues as possible, like knocking over pictures and a breaking glass.

After some amount of time, the door finally opened, thank god, you were starting to get antsy. Chad walked into the room and turned a lamp on and pointed it towards your face like a movie interrogation. In a scarily calm voice he said "Okay, time to start talking. Where is Sherlock?" Now this wasn't your first rodeo, so you answered with, "Up your ass and to the left."

After that remark he raised his fist and punched you hard in the nose, damn at least Moriarty never actually hit you, he just taunted you and used you as bait. Moriarty at least liked your smart remarks. After a few seconds of recovering from the hit Chad asked you again but more aggressive, "Where is Sherlock?!" Not learning your lesson the first time you answered in a robotic voice with, "I'm sorry Y/N couldn't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep, beeeeeeeeep."

With that he hit you again and pulled a knife out of his back pocket...at least you hoped it was his back pocket. Putting the knife to your throat he asked you again, "Where's Sherlock." Oh please as if he'd actually kill you, he doesn't have the balls. Not hearing an answer, in one swift motion he stabbed you in the stomach and walked to the other side of the room. I guess he did have the balls. Whoops, now you’re definitely in trouble.

You let out a muffled cry, not wanting to give Chad the satisfaction of hearing/seeing you in pain. Apparently that didn't work though as tears formed in your eyes and you squirmed in your restraints. At this point you were now scared that the bleeding wouldn't stop and you would just bleed out here. You knew Sherlock was on his way and boy he couldn't get here fast enough.

After a few short moments you got you hands out of the ropes and added pressure to the wound. You couldn't get out all the way though cause your chest and legs were tied down, besides you definitely didn't have the strength now. After a few more moments your vision started to get full of black spots and you were slipping into oblivion.

Some unknown amount of time later you regained consciousness. That's weird, you don't even remember loosing consciousness, what the hell even happened?! You can feel your body and you can feel that your laying on your back on a bed. You can also hear some beeping, ok your definitely at a hospital then. Peeling open your tired E/C eyes you see a white ceiling, turning your head you see an average looking hospital room.

Laying there for a second or two you decide to get up and see what's going on. Gathering some strength you pushed yourself into an upright position before feeling a sharp pain in your stomach. Lifting your shirt you see two stitches and a cut. Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh, now you remember, you were kidnapped and stabbed, huh...nice. That's definitely gonna leave a cool scar.

After sitting there for a few minutes the door to your room opens and Sherlock walks in. He sees you sitting there and you guys make eye contact. You speak first with an "Um...hey." Sherlock just responds with,

"Hi, are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine."

After a few seconds you lift your shirt and say with eagerness "Check it out, isn't it cool?" Sherlock just looks at you in disbelief and says, "Are you stupid or stupid?" To which you respond "Mmmm definitely stupid." Sherlock looking almost hurt saying "Y/N, you could've been killed if John and I didn't show up in time, do you realize that?!"

You respond with, "I realize that and I'm sorry." Sherlock just says with a small smile, "You don't have anything to be sorry for, if anything I should be sorry for getting upset, but you and I both know that's not happening." You just smile up to him and hold out your arms for a hug. Sherlock instead makes you move over in your small hospital bed, and he sits down and wraps you up in his arms.

With your head on Sherlock's chest you say to him "Thank you for rescuing me and all, but I had it under control." Sherlock just looks down at you with an "are you serious?" face. In response you lift your head with a big smile on your face and give Sherlock a sweet kiss.

[johannesviii]

So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Alright, so if you've been following along with me, Supernatural season 3 starts out on a trio of episodes that are Really Fun, slides into some episodes that are Pretty OK, then takes a real nose dive into Bummersville. Hoo boy guys, I really hope that this season picks up. I mean, it won’t, but I can still dream. 2021 was maybe not the year to start watching this season. Fair warning.

The next three episodes for this season are just, like, real downers. First we get “Fresh Blood,” which, aside from the terrible title, starts out on a high note. Gordon (gross) somehow manages to catch up with Bela (HOW??) and threatens her if she doesn’t hand over the Winchesters. Bela, in all of her class and grace, won’t give them up because she has a high price point and Gordon is really lowballing her here. Just like, yes, ok, please stay forever, you’re amazing and I love you. And what a scene this is! You have two characters, one with a strict moral code (albeit one that allows for violence and winning at all costs) and the other with almost NO moral code, but an allegiance that can be bought with the best price and it’s such a fun back and forth until Gordon pulls out a gun. And then she pulls out her phone and just has Dean on speed dial and that’s maybe my fav part. Bela has run into the Winchesters twice and they maybe legit hate her but she’s very much like, oh yeah, my BFF’s the Winchesters, I love those idiots!

I love that we come back to this moment later in the episode when Bela, like, three days later, is like, Oh! I guess I should warn the Winchesters that some crazy guy is after them! She’s just so casual about it you kind of get the feeling that, even though technically Gordon was threatening her life, she doesn’t view him as A Threat. She gives the Winchesters a heads up just to be like oh yeah, you might want to watch out for this mild inconvenience, and she seems legit shocked when Dean freaks out. There’s this moment that plays across her face like, oh shit, did I...did I fuck up? And it adds a nice bit of depth to her character. She’s seems honestly worried, both for the lives of the Winchesters but also that Dean won’t like her anymore and that is just a charming bit of A C T I N G!

I am gonna miss her SO MUCH when she dies at the end of this season. WHY did we CANCEL HER???

But despite the fun beginning, this episode is about monsters and how people become monsters and how other people are probably the reason. Because our main baddie is a vampire who hunts to...well, listen if we look at the facts that he lays out in his monologue, it’s a little more tragic - he’s trying to replace the daughters that he lost hundreds of years ago, cool motive, still murder. In practice though, he goes around turning hot blonde coeds into vampires and then ?????? Who knows. I’d like to believe that this was a problem with the CW executives or maybe casting/directing and not with the writing, but it’s SPN and you really can’t be sure with anything. The fact is, this is a CW show from the early 2000’s and a lot of their extras are cast to type. And that’s maybe me exhibiting some girl-on-girl crime, but there are other episodes that did a much less blatantly gross job casting their extras/Very Special Guest Stars.

Anyway, the POINT of this guy is that he’s a monster because someone killed his daughter and he’s just been trying to fill that grief hole inside of him for centuries. This is not unlike Gordon, who ALSO has been trying to fill a grief hole that he’s had for decades, except he’s not killing people and resurrecting them as blood suckers, he’s just killing them. And then, when the Vamp decides to turn Gordon it’s a real sweet moment of comeuppance for like, a HOT second and then you’re like, awww dude, ya done f’ed up. That was a bad idea. You’ve made a HUGE mistake.

More importantly, our Vampire In Question finally runs into the Winchesters and get’s to say things like “I was desperate! You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?” and also “I just ... I didn't care anymore. Do you know what it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like ... it's like being dead already.” and Dean’s v. much like, THIS IS TOO REAL ROY.

Sam may ALSO be feeling Too Real feelings because he is DONE dicking around with Gordon and honestly yes, I like this, this is good Sam development. It’s nice to know that Sam has a breaking point. And I admit I’m of two minds about this moment because 1) I love the idea of Dark!Sam this season and that maybe Sam’s decision to actually kill Gordon is just one step in that process but 2) I ALSO love the idea of Sam Lite finally having a breaking point and Gordon is IT. I don’t know which theory I like more in this scenario, but they are both good theories.

I think as much as this episode wants to draw parallels between the monsters and Dean (thank you artful editors), you can’t look at the “I’ve lost everyone I ever loved,” line and not think of Sam? Cuz he’s got one (1) person left in his life that hasn’t died horribly, so how desperate is he about to get through the end of this season? I’ve definitely been watching this season with eyes on all the ominous Dean foreshadowing, but the Sam foreshadowing is also there, just buried under the heavy weight of a thousand smulders and suicidal levels of denial.

And also, FUCK the tag on this episode! Guys, it is CUTE but it is also HORRIBLE. Dean starts teaching Sam how to fix the Impala and at first it’s all, “Oh! Adorable Brothers Being Brothers!” and I loved it but then I almost immediately hated it because you realize this is about making sure Sam can get along without him once he’s gone and Dean just accepts his own death with such casual ease that it’s just...INFURIATING!

This scene was rude and I HATE IT!

Cut to - “A Very Supernatural Christmas” Special!

Guys, I was so excited when I got to this episode. THIS is Classic Supernatural Shenanigans. Plus, you know a Holiday Special is the ultimate sign that this show has Made It, right? Or it could be a sign that they’re selling out, who knows, but I think we can say that at this point in the series, SPN is established enough to start having fun with their fans. That’s what this says to me. BUT THEN what we get is like...oh boy.

First - like, I’mma beat this horse to death, but what is WRONG with this FAMILY? John Winchester very quickly devolved into the sort of father that forgot about every single holiday and did not ever, even a little bit, make up for it. It’s not a surprise, but it kind of wrecked me seeing a flashback where Baby Dean is just so attached to a father who can’t be bothered to actually care for his children. I know he’s not in this episode because Jeffrey Dean Morgan was tied up in other projects, but the fact that John doesn’t show up at the end to button the flashbacks with a But then he DID show up for Christmas! just makes this plot line that more gutting. And despite Dean’s hero worship of their father, this is maybe the Christmas where Baby Sam stops believing in his own father. The only bright side to this is that it continues to enforce the fact that Bobby should have sued John for custody. Bobby should maybe STILL Sue for custody so that Dean at least would feel like someone wants him for once in his life, damnit.

And then we wrap this episode up with the Best Worst Christmas of all, because we see Sam start to...also?? accept that Dean is about to die? Cuz that’s what this episode is really about - Dean’s Last Christmas. And everything about that makes me ~ u p s e t ~.

So Sam decides to put his curmudgeonly grinchy attitude aside in order to make it a special day for Dean and ugh. UGH. UGHGHGHG. Season three is the worst guys, and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that until right this second now.

So let’s wrap this up with "Malleus Maleficarum", honestly an episode that is mostly forgettable until we get to, like, the last five minutes. Sure, witches and curses and selling your soul, woohoo whatever.

But then we get some real Ruby centric reveals and like, WHAT is happening?? First off, the scene where Ruby and Tammy have a moment is a real Moment. There is some baggage and tension here and it is heavy. And then Tammy drops the mic when she reveals that Ruby used to be human.

THEN, Ruby legit saves their asses by killing Tammy with a fancy magic knife. Ok, Dean does the actual killing, but Ruby brought the fancy magic knife. So between the hot and heavy tension with “Tammy” and her repeated attempts to keep the Winchesters alive, we’re left wondering what IS Ruby’s deal? I personally wonder how much of the show’s mythology the show actually has figured out at this point? Because interviews with Kripke definitely walk the line between “Oh we definitely have this whole thing worked out,” and “yeah, we’re sort of finding things as we go along,” which is maybe why it’s able to last as long as it does. More on that later.

Of course the big kicker is the final scene between Ruby and Dean. Dean is almost on board with Ruby at this point in the season, and much like his scene with the demon in “Sin City”, they share a kind of vulnerable moment together where Ruby admits that, yeah, she was human once and yeah, Hell will destroy you, body and soul, and yeah Dean’s worst fear will probably come true - he will become the thing he hunts, no ifs, ands or buts about it. And Dean knows that Ruby knows that Dean knows that there’s no way to save Dean from his fate, but they both agree that they can’t take Sam’s last ounce of hope away from him because, for both of them, Sam is their hope. Ruby and Dean both see the war happening around them and they know that with Dean gone, Sam’s maybe the last guy holding back the tide to save all humanity.

Which, honestly? Bull shit. Do you know how many hunters are out there? Neither do I, but this season seems to indicate that there are a LOT. We have barely scratched the surface on the hunter community and it’s a damn shame that they are all weirdo loners because there is a war going on. You know what works great in a war? An ARMY. Buncha mentally unstable, martyr-complex ijits who can’t put their differences aside for one damn MINUTE so that maybe, JUST maybe, the could actually defeat the evil they’ve spent their entire lives dedicated to fighting. And if Ruby and Dean wanted to help Sam, what they should probably do is get him plugged in to that community. I do believe that of all they backasswards, self-obsessed, painfully anti-social crazies out there, the Winchesters are THE WORST.

Listen tho, this was like, a solid scene between these two. Just a lot of work goin' into this and it paid off.

Anyway, back to the mythology for a hot second - This sort of loosey-goosey stumbling into your own world building is probably another one of those things that you’ll only really get in a show with this many episodes per season? It’s that room to play and experiment and just make stuff up as you go along. I think the slow drip method of releasing episodes ALSO helps in this scenario because you’re able to see what fans are reacting to in almost-real time. When viewers are binging episodes, I think you're less likely to see what specifically they’re reacting to and more wholistically they’re reacting to. And that’s not to say you won’t see those specific things that they like/love eventually, but by the time you get there, your season’s been produced in its entirety and you’ll have to bear that in mind for (hopefully) next season. But with SPN, they were writing and producing the show at the same time that some of the episodes were airing. That’s why they were able to make decisions on the fly, based on what fans responded to. And definitely by this point in the show, there was a sizeable and vocal fan base that made their feelings VERY well-known. We’re only in season three, but they’ve already had a number of con appearances and a pretty active online presence. That kind of feedback has got to be helpful, from a writing perspective, but it also allows for things like characters getting cut because nobody liked them for some dumb reason. BUT, if you’re fighting to stay on the air for 100 episodes or longer, responding to fan reactions is what’s gonna do it and that’s a fact.

[bioodorange]

hi it's me again (the one who asked for rules). may i please have a matchup? I'm a bi girl & I'm 4'10. I have brown eyes + thick curly brown hair. I have unlimited anxiety 💅. I like to read, study history, & listen to music.I like frogs, dogs, & bunnies.I'm super-affectionate & I love 2 take care of my partner. 💕 I'm v shy & cry easily, but I'm silly + giggly w/ loved ones. nsfw is okay (i'm switch but like to be a soft mommy dom for sub boys 💞) i think ur super cool 🙈 & ily for doing this ❤

yes hun I rememeber ya- it'd be kinda sad if i didn't tbh. ANYWAY! yes i love yall too whenever someone follows me or likes my shit i die- in a good way! anyways here ya are! i was also thinking nurse anne so if you want one for her just tell me :)

|| Puppeteer ||

First off this dude would think you’re so fuckin pretty like what I think his type is visually- BOOM you!

Height doesn’t matter to him but he finds it kinda cute how small you are

He also may or may not watch you struggle to reach something up high before helping out

So no matter how your hair is he’d love touching it, braiding or combing it ( you didn’t mention your skintone but if you’re a POC he’d look into how to style your hair)

I can imagine him giving you like little flowers for your hair or just in general and you’d keep em, maybe press them or something so they’d last

this bitch would die of happiness and hug you when he found out!!

He has a hard time speaking because of his screwed up vocal cords but if you ever had an anxiety attack he’d pull you close until you calmed down

Or if you didn’t want to be touched he’d sit by and talk a bit with you or maybe hum something

He’d learn what set you off or what you didn’t like and try and avoid areas, like that

I can see you guys spending an afternoon reading together, not even the same book as long as your together

John is a PDA mean he needs lots of reasurance and cuddles to make sure he’s doing alright

He’d find your history study very interesting, he’s been dead for a while expect a lot of questions about culture and the current world

Spend an afternoon showing him tiktok or your favorite youtubers and he’ll be in love

IDK what kind of shows you watch but I can see you guys watching She-ra together

Music is another thing, he’s ok with anyting he prefers older stuff he’s comfortable with learning new things

But if you ever gush over some singer he’ll get a bit self conscious, why isn’t it him, why does their music sound so weird??

This mans is totally ok with animals

He’d most likely get you a rabbit, considering they’re easy to maintain and pretty calm

one day you’d come home and hes just sitting there, arms folded on the floor watching some little bunny hop around like “Oh yeah I got this for you-” he doesn’t really understand why you got so happy but hes happy you’re smiling

Affection is good he REALLY needs someone like that, he’ll double check stuff a lot and needs lots of support

Hugs and praise are an easy way to this mans heart

He may not SAY anything about the small gestures you do, like buying an extra bag of the snack he likes or perhaps buying a radio he knows how to use for your room

But he will very much appreciate it

This dude loves the radio, he’s not much of a movie guy and will sit there all day listening to it

He’s happy you’re emotional just cause he can pick up on emotions doesn’t mean he understands them

The first few times you cry he’ll get a bit panicked, but eventually grow used to it and hug you

Dunno why but y’all would watch fuckin banana fish together

NSFW

So this mans doesn’t have much expierence in the bedroom but he really wants to please you.

You being a soft dom is p e r f e c t for this boy

Small praise and guidance is just what he needs

It may take a while but you can definetely coax some noises out of him

His favorite position is missionary, he can see you’re face and wether he’s topping or not, he knows what he’s doing

Change isn’t something he welcomes but he will gladly try something out atleast once if you like

The first few times he tops he’ll be asking you a lot how it feels and going after your pleasure instead if his own

but once he gets into it this mans can work

If you’re all right with it, light bondage holding your wrists up with his strings

Prefers if you call him John but will definetely call you mommy or bunny

As a confident top he’d go for edging and maybe light degradation lots of “you like that baby, hm?” and “I can’t hear you over all that whining”

If y’all ever have quickies its him leading, taking you into some back area and fucking you

Breathplay is a big NO for him, unless its soft kissing or nuzzles he’ll get turned off real fucking fast if you touch his neck or ask him to choke you

But will happily let you suck on his fingers

If you ever squirt its an accident, just him getting a bit carried away

will try and do it a few more times just to watch you

and fucking you in his lap

Thats all

have a good night/day babes <3

[feelthepainofdodick]

Addicted - Chapter 2 (D.D. x Reader)

Summary: You and David are dating but you get some devastating news that causes you to relapse and make bad choices. Consequences are bound to happen in both your relationship and your life.

Notes: Okay everyone so this is the next part. I got some notes on my first chapter and I was so happy and surprised that anyone even read it so thank you! Here is the next part and there will definitely be probably at least one or two or more parts. Let me know what you think! Good or bad lol. Enjoy! - Julie

Word Count: 1717

CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER THREE 

David’s POV

You were trying to get the right angle for filming Zane and Stass dancing on the table when (Y/N) came to you. She leaned towards your ear and said she was going outside to get some air. You nodded and she walked off. Your focus was on getting footage, as always. How were you supposed to know your girlfriend’s life was being blown during such a mundane moment?

It may not have seemed like it to most people but this was a normal night for you. It was Zane’s birthday which meant it was a going out night. During these kinds of nights when you and your friends go out is when all the good stuff happens for the vlogs. So, that is where your focus was. After (Y/N) left to the balcony you continued filming; trying to get your friends more drunk and more carefree. You barely even noticed that you hadn’t seen (Y/N) in an hour. You just assumed she was dancing with the girls. If you were filming the girls then you assumed she went to the VIP section to take a break. 

It wasn’t until you and multiple of your friends were sitting down around the booth taking a break when you realized how long it’s been. 

David: “Hey guys. Where is (Y/N)?”

Corinna: “She went to get some air like over an hour ago. I don’t know where she went after that. I just assumed she was with you.”

Little did you know she was at an airport bar getting drunk off margaritas and tequila shots before a flight back to her hometown.

David: “Shit. Where is she?” I asked concerned.

You immediately grab your phone and call (Y/N). It went straight to voicemail. 

David: “Guys. It went straight to voicemail. Her phone must of died.”

Zane: “Don’t worry too much David. She probably went home for all we know. Chill out.” He said drunkenly.

David: “She wouldn’t leave without telling me! She knows I would worry.”

Then a thought popped into his head.

Isn’t today her two years sober anniversary? Shit. Shit. Shit. Maybe she shouldn’t have come out with us tonight. Maybe it was too much for her to handle today of all days. But she would have told me if it was too much for her. She always let me know when things were too much to handle for her especially when it came to her sobriety. This doesn’t make sense. Something is wrong; I know it is.

I called (Y/N) again. Straight to voicemail, again. Everyone was distracted not thinking about where (Y/N) could be and talking amongst themselves. That made me think I was overthinking the situation. But, I had this gut feeling something was wrong. I got up and walked over to the balcony where she told me she would be last. No one but a couple drunken people were wobbling around on the balcony. You went over to one.

David: “Hey, I’m David. I wanted to know if you saw a girl. About this tall.” He moved his hand to the side to approximate how tall you were in comparison to himself. “She has (Y/H/C) hair and (Y/E/C) eyes. She was wearing some jeans, a red tube top, and some red heels. Have you seen her?”

Drunk Guy: “Yeah! I saw her like an hour ago. She was just over there on her phone” He pointed in a random direction drunkenly. “She looked hella sad man. Super hot but super sad. Then she just left. Poof. Just like that.”

David: “Did you see where she went?” He asked more concerned now.

Drunk Guy: “Not really. I saw her walk towards the exit but not much else. I think I overheard her call some dude named John and said she was coming over. I don’t really know man. Sorry.”

David: “It’s cool. Thanks for letting me know.”

He turns back around to go tell his friends that he knows something is wrong with (Y/N). As he walks out back into the club he hears the drunk guy yell back at him good luck man! Be fucking careful. The hot ones are always the most dangerous. 

You return to the group and stare at everyone. They’re all sitting around the booth laughing and talking. This was supposed to be Zane’s night but now you were ready to stop everyone's fun because you thought (Y/N) might be hurt or something. But you weren’t sure what was going on with her. You debated just telling them you felt sick and that you’ll take an uber home. Give the keys to Corinna since she was sober.

And that’s exactly what you did. You told everyone you were feeling dizzy after filming Stass and Zane for so long and that you needed to catch up on some sleep. You gave the keys to Corinna and got an uber to leave back to your house.

The second you got into the uber to go home is when it hits you. All your worries about  (Y/N) started kicking in.

Where the fuck would she go without telling me?

Did something bad happen on the phone?

Who is John?

Why was she going to John?

Was tonight too much for her?

Why the hell did I not acknowledge that today was her two year sobriety date? 

She never talked too much about that stuff anyways.

Where is the love of my life…

You got home more freaked out than ever. You ended up calling (Y/N) over 15 times. Each time ended the same way; with a voicemail, and every time you left a voicemail. Each sounding more and more desperate to know where she is.

Voicemail #1...

Hey baby girl. You left the club without telling anyone. Can you call me back to let me know where you are. I’m just worried. Or maybe just drop by the house? I left the club so I’m here if you need me.

Voicemail #5...

Honey. You’re seriously starting to worry me over here. It’s been hours since I last saw you. Some drunk guy at the club told me he saw you on the phone really really sad. Baby, I don’t know what happened and if you’re not ready to tell me then that’s fine but I really just need to know you’re okay.

Voicemail #15…

(Y/N). I’m really fucking scared. I don’t know what to do. Do I call the police? Do I call your Mom? What the fuck do I do? I just need to know you’re okay. You know what? I’m gonna call that hometown friend of yours, Sarah, I think. Maybe she knows something… Call me back. Please!

Your night carried out like that. You called her friend. Called her mom. No answer from anyone. You were scared shitless and didn’t know what to do. You debated calling the police but you knew they wouldn’t file a missing person until 24 hours have passed. At some point you passed out on the couch scared out of your mind about where your girlfriend could possibly be.

(Y/N) POV:

It was nearing six in the morning and you were sitting on that raggedy couch John never got rid of surrounded by your old hometown friends. More and more people started showing up. The sun was barely going to rise soon and yet the party was barely going full swing. Alcohol flowed back and forth between your friends. Coke all over the coffee table available for anyone to do lines whenever they wanted. You turned around and saw into the backyard that some kids you knew from high school where dancing around on some hallucinogen. You had already done a few lines and shot up; you were not feeling anything and you were grateful.

This is how it always was two years ago. Show up to Johns. Do drugs. Fuck around. Sleep. Repeat. And now you were here again, like nothing had changed.

Sarah: “Hey (Y/N) I just got some call from that rich boyfriend of yours.”

(Y/N): “No shit. What did he say.” You said without actually wanting to know. You were completely numbed out and nothing mattered to you, including a call from David.

Sarah: “Didn’t have time to answer.”

(Y/N): “Cool”

That was that. You didn’t think about what he was doing or what he wanted. You didn’t know he was worrying about you. You just knew you’re mom was dead and you didn’t want to feel that loss. Not right now. Not ever.

That was the last thing you remember thinking about when you woke up to a car honking at you. You woke up to the sun on your face and pavement under you instead of the couch you remember being last. Did I pass out here? You looked around and found yourself laying on the parking lot of your local animal shelter. What the fuck am I doing here? Fuck. I always did love petting the kitties when I was high out of my mind. You chuckled. It felt wrong. Then you remembered everything you didn’t want to feel.

Your mom was dead... Your mom was dead and you relapsed….

You got up, dusted yourself off and walked back into the direction of Johns house. It was probably around noon based on the heat hitting you and you felt thoroughly embarrassed as cars passed you by because of how shit you felt and probably looked. You finally made it back to Johns, the door was open, and found him knocked out on the couch as you made your way to the bedroom to find a charger to charge your phone.

When you finally turned on your phone, every message from David showed up. Over 30 phone calls, 20 voicemails, and 50 texts. I stared at my notifications not sure if I was ready to deal with the repercussions of everything that happened last night. If I listened to him talk to me, everything would be so real. 

I put my phone down, got dressed in some of my old clothes I left at Johns from forever ago, and walked to the police station to see my mother one last time.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 5: Night of the Living Dread

View on Google Docs

Summary: July 1, 2015 - Sammy & Ben learn of some breaking news regarding the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, but not everyone is as pleased as the broadcast duo.

[Podcast intro music]

Announcer Dear listeners, please note that the following program may contain views that do not reflect that of King Falls AM, its management, or its subsidiaries. Listener discretion is advised.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial. I’m your host, Sammy Stevens, and as always we are joined by producer and co-host extraordinaire, Ben Arnold.

Ben [trying not to be amused] You’re so- you’re so happy, aren’t you? You’re a child. Getting so giddy over that message.

Sammy Listening to a warning before a radio broadcast I’m on has literally been on the bucket list for a long time. Thanks Merv!

Ben *laughter* Ridiculous. A glutton for punishment.

Sammy What can I say? I enjoy a nice game of hard ball! Uh, y’know, but enough about what Merv doesn’t want you to hear, let’s talk about what he does want you to hear. And what do we have cooking tonight, Ben?

Ben Dude, it’s stacked alright? Stacked. We’ve got the- lovely Miss Emily Potter from the King Falls Library giving us her picks for enlightened summer reading.

Sammy Terrific! We always love speaking with Emily!

Ben You and me both.

Sammy I said “we,” Ben.

Ben Uh, I know. I- *breathes in* [stilted] I- We-We-uh, We’ve got some really cool news! here. We-we are announcing the line-up for the first annual King Falls Ambient Music Festival. That’s coming up the second hour.

Sammy Wait a second. The King Falls Ambient Music Festival? Is this town even big enough for a festival?

Ben Oh yeah! It’s like Coachella[1] but for hipsters that just want to relax. It’s all about “setting the mood.”

Sammy You know, I’m wondering if they’re gonna make it to a second annual.

Ben And then, um, [reluctant and slipping into mumbling] opening up the show we-we’ve got the- doctor *mumbling*

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Ben, what was that? You’re trailing off, buddy.

Ben We have that umm, *sniffs, lets out breath* one… guy. You know that- fo- w- talking about that *deep breath* one thing—

Sammy [trying to cut him off] Ben—

Ben —from a month ago or so—?

Sammy What? What are you talking about?

Ben You know— May- maybe we should start it with Uh, callers first! [mildly frantic] Just-uh-Give us a call at 424-279-3858 and let’s talk about… *tsk* anything! Let’s uh, whats your-whats your-whats-whats on your mind King Falls?

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, put down your phones for a second. What Ben is trying to say is we’ve got a scoop here this evening on King Falls AM. We’re gonna be speaking with—

Ben [cutting Sammy off]Or you can tweet us! @kingfallsam. I-I-I will literally talk about anything right now. Even to Mr. Derschwitz about that weird toenail thing. Let-lets-lets go, people!

Sammy I thought we agreed—

Ben I know. Sammy, I’m sorry it’s just, [slightly more frantic] I’m-I’m not feelin’ the best here. Alright? my stomach, is all… knotted up, just thinking about this.

Sammy That is journalism. That feeling is journalism—

Ben [speaking over Sammy] I think it might actually be an ulcer! It Tastes, like Fear and Feels, like Cancer . It’s way more than anxiety. I-I’m gonna call Dr. Raúl, at break.

Sammy He’s a chiropractor!

Ben Maybe he can refer me?

Sammy Power through it, buddy! Look at this folks, we got somebody dialing into the hotline right now! You ready for this Ben? Come on.

Ben Please, be Reverend Hawthorne so we can talk about the Revival next month.

Sammy Oh stop it. You know he isn’t even scheduled!

Ben I just thought— maybe that’s how prayers work, I don’t know, I’m not a reverend!

Sammy King Falls AM, you’re on the air.

Dr. Rosenblum [Dr. Rosenblum’s voice is measured and monotonous and mildly creepy at all times] Good evening, this is Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum, with the, King Falls County Coroner’s Office.

Ben C-can I please just say—

Sammy Dr. Rosenblum, it is a pleasure to speak with you this evening.

Rosenblum Excited to be here, Sammy. Ecstatic even. We listen on slow nights.

Ben That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard.

Sammy Much appreciated, Doc. Now, as fate would have it, you were the overseeing physician working on the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, is that correct?

Ben Doc? Can you just, hold on for- one- moment- please?

Rosenblum Of course, Ben I—

Sammy Don’t start, Ben! We agreed to see this through.

Ben All I’m saying i- lemme finish- a- i-is that maybe it’s not our place *deep breath* to break this kind of news.

Sammy Fine. You know what? You’re right! Let’s just give this to our friends down at Channel 13 and let them be the ones to alert the public about this.

Ben [journalist voice] Doc, Ben Arnold. Tell us about cracking open the mystery body.

Sammy [quietly] Oh.

Rosenblum It’s true that I was the operating physician on that particular John Doe, y-es, irrefutablyy

Sammy Now, as I understand, your official report was released yesterday morning, doctor, but amazingly enough, not one publication or news station in our town- including King Falls AM- reported on it.

Rosenblum You are correct. Busy news day- one would assume.

Ben So, that means, you are— free to talk about it on air.

Rosenblum I would be elated

Sammy First and foremost on everyone’s minds: were there any signs of, uh, y’know, the lake mo- *sighs* I can’t.

Ben Did Kingsie make the body, bite the big one?

Rosenblum There was no evidence that a creature large or small had anything to do with the deceased.

Ben *sigh of relief* That- I knew Kingsie didn’t have it in her.

Sammy Now, Dr. Rosenblum, can you tell us if there was any foul play involved at all?

Rosenblum During our first autopsy we were not able to distinguish with certainty the cause of death. But there were no signs of foul play

Sammy I’m sorry, did you say “first” autopsy?

Ben [confused] Is that normal? Did you- find out the cause of death during the… second autopsy?

Rosenblum Indeed. It was six individual gunshot wounds to the victim’s head. Three shots to the temporal lobe, two to the mendulla oblongata—

Sammy What?! Six gunshot wounds?!

Rosenblum To the cranium, yes. One to the frontal lobe, another to—

Ben So the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe was, murdered?

Sammy I can’t believe this! This is big! Why didn’t one news outlet report this thing yesterday?!

Rosenblum Well, the cause of death was inconclusive and with no signs of foul play, it was not exactly a juicy story.

Ben and Sammy Wait a second.

Rosenblum …yes?

Sammy I’m sorry, doc. I’m not in the medical orrr criminal fields but, how is six gunshots not foul play?

Rosenblum Well, that was between the first autopsy and the second. The gunshots were self-defense administered via Deputy Kreighauser at my behest.

Sammy Ben, we’re gonna wanna get Troy on the phone and see what he’s got to say about this.

Ben “Things Ben Arnold would never think under ordinary circumstances for 800, Alex.”[2]

Sammy Doc, while we’re getting Deputy Troy on the line, would you mind if we took a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors?

Rosenblum That’s just- Dandy.

[light bg music]

Greg Frickard After a long day’s work or a tough day’s play, you probably just wanna come home and relax. No need to slave over a hot stove for hours on end. Well that’s where we come in! Here at Granny Frickard’s, we know that the less time you spend doing the things you don’t like, is the more time you spend with the ones you love. So come get some of the best frog legs that money can buy. Granny Frickard’s French-fried farm-fresh never-frozen filleted-and-fricasseed fried-and-flambeed frog legs. Mm-mm-mm. So get on down to Granny Frickard’s Froggery at the corner of Main Street and 7th Avenue. We’ll put some pep in your step and some hop in your heart.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy And we’re back on King Falls AM, here with King Falls County Coroner, Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum.

Rosenblum A Pleasure.

Sammy Do you have Troy, Ben?

Ben He’s booking one of the Williams boys for mooning. He’ll call us in a few.

Sammy I’m a little out of sorts here, doc. Can you explain what happened between the first inconclusive autopsy and the point where Troy filled the cadaver full of lead.

Rosenblum Of course. As I was finishing the initial post-mortem, it came to my attention that the deceased began to emit a hissing sound, fluctuating between the lower thorax and the larynx.

Ben Oh my God.

Rosenblum I called for Deputy Kreighauser and he entered, as I wanted someone else to see this- phenomenon. That’s when the John Doe began a slight, thrashing about the upper torso.

Ben Um… are you saying—

Rosenblum The deputy began to fumble for his sidearm while we both discerned that something was wildly- amiss. The deceased opened its eyes and instantly grabbed for the lapel of my lab coat with voracious tenacity.

Ben Wh- ah- go on.

Rosenblum It gnashed its teeth as I emitted a terrified, albeit, high pitched, scream. And that’s when Troy unholstered his sidearm and administered six lethal shots to the reanimated corpse’s cranium.

Ben A zombie.

Sammy Alright, is there- [fumbling] Let’s just say- is there-

Ben We’ve got Troy on the line.

Deputy Troy [in bg] I don’t care if he was only joshin’. You can’t show your G-D derriere out in public! [car door slams] [pleasantly] Hey boys, what’s goin’ on tonight?

Sammy You tell us, Troy, holy geez! Uh, we’ve got Dr. Rosenblum on the line here and—

Deputy Troy Is this about the zombie?

Ben Yes! So-so you’re confirming this story, Troy?

Deputy Troy Well, hell yeah I’m confirming! I had to do three hours of damn paper work from unloadin’ my pistola into a corpse! Sheriff Gunderson was not the happiest of campers.

Ben [excited and awed] This is amazing… This is unprecedented .

Sammy [skeptical] This is a little unbelievable, Troy.

Rosenblum It is a first in my profession. Believe you me. [still tonelessly] Wowzers.

Deputy Troy Honest engine[3] boys. I capped the all get out of that thing! It had the doc by the face ‘bout to start chewing!

Rosenblum You’re my hero, Deputy Troy.

Deputy Troy Shucks, wasn’t nothin’ special.

Ben [slightly sullen] Except killing the first instance of a zombie in King Falls since—

Sammy Don’t say “since”.

Ben … Well… Since that one time at the mall in the '80s.

Sammy No, that’s not a real thing, Ben. That’s a film.

Ben [worked up] Sammy? How many extraordinary things are gonna have to SLAP you right in the face to make you buy into this? KING FALLS, MAN.

Deputy Troy You know me, Sammy. I always shoot ya straight. But it was the craziest sh[bleep]t I’ve ever seen. I mean it was like my-ex-wife-needs-alimony-money crazy.

Ben See? Even Barney Fife[4] saw it.

Sammy *sighs* I just—

Rosenblum I don’t want to cause an uproar here, but since that exam, there have been, other cases.

Ben Of frickin’ zombies?

Rosenblum Of reanimation among corpses… yes.

Deputy Troy Doc, you just give me a call if you need. I’m more than happy to go Clint Eastwood if the situation arises.

Rosenblum Will do, Deputy. Thank you so much for your- assistance. Without you, there may not have been this- interview.

Deputy Troy [proud] To protect and serve.

Sammy I can’t take all this in right now, Dr. Rosenblum I- e- Thank you so much for your insightful information.

Rosenblum As they say, [still monotone] “you got it, duude.”

[click, dial tone]

Ben You okay, Sammy? You… don’t look so well.

Deputy Troy Ah, hell, boys.[siren whoop] I gotta go. I’ll call you back later tonight! One of the Williams boys is tryin’ ta saw through the bars outside the jailhouse? [sirens in bg] [through megaphone] Jacob Williams put your hands UP and the file DOWN.

[click, dial tone]

Ben Alright King Falls, you’ve heard our story, let’s hear yours. Have you or anyone you know experienced anything like what the doctor spoke of? Reanimation? The walking—

Sammy Don’t.

Ben You know what I mean. Give us a call or tweet us.

Sammy Looks like the board is lighting up!

Ben Um…

Sammy What’s up? Okay, it can’t be any crazier than what we just heard, Ben.

Ben Line One, Sammy.

Sammy Welcome to King Falls AM, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Line 1 [female, almost sounds automated] Good evening, Sammy—

Sammy Do I know you ma'am?

Riley — please hold for Mayor Grisham.

Ben He… Probably just wants us to— mark these tapes as, evidence. *nervous laugh* Right, Sammy?

Sammy Or burn them.

Riley Sammy Stevens, Mayor Grisham.

Sammy Mayor?

Mayor Grisham Sammy… Ben.

Sammy You’re on live on King Falls AM, sir.

Mayor Grisham [commanding] Take me off and go to break. We need to chat.

Sammy No can do. Ben says we aren’t scheduled for break for another- uh- at least ten minutes.

Mayor Grisham Ben. Cut. To. Commercial.

Ben Uh- uh- uh- the thing is- I- I- I can’t- do that. Sir.

Mayor Grisham [threateningly pleasant] You boys want to talk live on air? We can talk live on air.

Sammy [challenging] Nothin’ to hide on this end of the phone, Mayor Grisham.

Mayor Grisham I hear your snide remarks, Sammy. I’ve read the transcripts.

Sammy Which! let’s be honest, is pretty weird. We’re a late night AM talk show, why are you bothering with us?

Mayor Grisham Oh, I don’t bother with you. I try to keep up to date with all the local news and entertainment. I gotta say, I was really happy a big city radio guy decided to come play host at our little radio station.

Sammy Well, I’m more than happy to—

Mayor Grisham I wasn’t finished… But I have to say, I’m a little less than thrilled with [accusingly] all the excitement you brought with you.

Sammy I’d hardly call reporting the news “excitement”, sir—

Mayor Grisham It’s interesting to me that I don’t see Channel 13 breaking these crazy stories.

Ben [quickly] No offense, your honor, but those idiots don’t know their a[bleep]holes from their elbows.

Mayor Grisham And you boys being on site when these “events” happen? [softly, still accusing] It’s a little bit of a coincidence don’t you think?

Sammy Are you insinuating that we are staging these events, Mayor?

Mayor Grisham I’m stating facts. I’m sure your ratings are way, way up there since all these sensational events seem to coincide with your broadcast. Why do you think that is? Furthermore, I mean who’s up listening to you at this ungodly hour of the night?!

Sammy Seemingly most of the town, Sir. As well as whomever you’ve hired to keep an ear on us.

Mayor Grisham I’ve tried to be nice about this… And I tried to be civil… but I think it’s about time that you troublemakers changed formats. No more of this funny business. It’s not good for the listeners. It’s not good for the residents. And honestly? it’s not good for me. I don’t appreciated being painted in this light, gentlemen.

Sammy Oh! You mean the light where you as a public service,[sic] try to quell the voice of the people.

Ben It’s not your right to tell us what we can and can’t report on, sir. All due respect.

Mayor Grisham [rudely] All due respect, Ben Arnold. Just a couple of months ago you were digging up old records on eBay for Chet Sebastian to run on about. Now you’re a media star?? That’s worrisome! Seems you fellas have All the reasons in the world to fabricate these issues, and I have to say I’m not gonna sit here and listen to this, while you LIE TO THE GOOD PEOPLE OF KING FALLS.

Sammy Well, when we start “fabricating” and “making things up,” you can come throw the book at us. But until then- [click, dial tone] Whoops! Looks like you just got disconnected. I’d wait for you to give us a call back and all, but with it not being an election year I probably shouldn’t hold my breath.

Ben Line One iiis lit up again, Sammy.

Sammy [insincerely] Oh, sorry about that Mayor! I must have fabricated accidentally dumping your call when-

Esther Rollens [heavy metal music in bg] [voice old and wavering] Did you boys fund a lavender ball of yarn in there? Been looking for it all week! [click, dial tone]

Ben [shaken] Sammy, I think that commercial might do us some good right now.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Coachella - The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival (commonly called Coachella or the Coachella Festival) is an annual music and arts festival held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California, in the Coachella Valley in the Colorado Desert.

[2] Reference to the TV game show Jeopardy!

[3] I honestly can’t tell if he’s saying “honest engine” or “honest injun” but i’mma go with the one that’s technically incorrect but also not super racist.

[4] Barney Fife - Deputy from the Andy Griffith Show. Calling a police officer or authority figure "Barney Fife" has become an American slang term for gross ineptitude or overzealousness.

[jiminisjamin]

I’m Such a Fool for You (Part Two)

Pairing: Dean x Reader & Reader x Castiel

Requested: No.

Summary: Y/n is the daughter of an old friend of John Winchester, and Dean’s best-and only-childhood friend. She’s stuck with him through pretty much everything and been there for him since they were kids. They grew up together- hunting, always on the move. What will it take for Dean to realize just how much he cares about her, or will he lose her to his other friend, Castiel?

Warnings: Language, mentions of drinking/alcohol.

Rating: Angst/Fluff.

Word Count: 1,611

Title: I’m Such a Fool for You | Part Two

Read Part One Here!

A/n: “I’m Such a Fool for You” comes from the Cranberries song, Linger. I listened to it a lot while writing this. The prompt hasn’t come up, but it will be coming up soon.

Prompt: “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and say I love you?”

  During the drive to the closest burger joint, Dean found himself constantly glancing back at Y/n and Castiel in the rearview mirror, something twisting in his stomach when he noticed how close Y/n was sitting to Castiel, the way she’d throw her head back when she laughed at something he said, sometimes reaching out to touch his shoulder or arm. They kept their voices low, which angered Dean even more, his head swimming as he tried to think of what they could be talking about. She was making sure their conversations were just for him, but sometimes he’d catch small parts of something she was saying, which wasn’t any better. His attention was split between driving and trying to think of a way to interject without seeming like too much of an ass. His hands tighten around the steering wheel, and he glances back at the mirror again.

“You two sure are chatty,” he comments, forcing his gaze back to the road when he sees Y/n’s e/c eyes dart up to meet his.

“Yeah, well, we have a lot in common,” she murmurs. Dean’s chest tightens at the way she smiles softly and looks down, and he sighs.

If she wasn’t such a good friend, it wouldn’t be like this. He wouldn’t be afraid of someone hurting her, but he’s always been like this. It’s because we grew up together, he swallows roughly, she’s like family, I gotta protect her, like Sammy… His eyebrows furrow, and he grimaces.

Castiel turns his gaze to Y/n, his eyes sparkling slightly as his cheeks tinged pink.

“We have a lot in common?” He murmurs. Y/n smiles brightly.

“Well, I mean- yeah. That’s why we…get along so well.” Castiel’s gaze searches her face.

“Like you and Dean?”

“W- wait, uh, what?” Y/n asks, her eyebrows pulling together.

“You and Dean. Although you fight a lot- most of the time, really, the two of you almost depend on each other.” He replies. “It’s obvious that the two of you share a strong bond,” y/n shakes her head, turning her gaze to the floor.

“That’s different, Cas.” Dean's eyebrows shoot up, his lips quirking in amusement.

“Yeah, Cas. When she says you two have something in common, that something is really a common interest to-”

“Dean!” Y/n shouts, her eyes flaming as she glares at him. “Shut up.” Dean chuckles.

“Sorry, sweetheart. The point is, our bond is different.” Dean continues. “She’s like, an annoying- oh, I don’t know, she’s just…” He wants to say sister, but something in him twists at the thought, and he sighs, shaking his head. “She’s y/n. I’ve known her for a long time.” Y/n rolls her eyes.

“He says I’m the annoying one,” she murmurs, picking some lint off her jeans.

“I don’t think you are annoying,” Castiel states, tilting his head to glance at her. He smiles softly. “I rather enjoy your company.” Dean’s stomach lurches, and he rolls his eyes groaning. Not this again, please…

“I like to be around you too,” y/n whispers. “You’re funny,”

“You’re very pretty,” Castiel blurts out, his face turning bright red as she turns to look at him with wide eyes. “Y- I mean, you, uh…you have a very,” the angel turns to look out the window, avoiding her gaze. “A very, uh, pretty personality- yes, yes, uh…a beautiful personality,” y/n’s lips curl into a wide smile, and she giggles, pulling at the sleeves of her jacket.

“That’s…really sweet of you, Cas. You’ve got a very beautiful personality too,”

Dean’s eyes widen at her response, his mouth falling open. Did she just- oh, hell no.

Castiel’s mouth opens to respond, his eyes shining slightly when Dean reaches over, turning the radio on full blast, drowning out whatever response he had.

“Ah! What the hell Dean?” Y/n shouts, covering her ears with her hands. “Turn that off!”

“Oh, sorry,” Dean yells, turning the dial back. “My uh, my hand slipped.”

“Again?” Castiel asks. “Dean, are you okay? Your hand has been slipping a lot, and it seems to cause very loud sounds,” he says, his face twisting in confusion. “Is this normal?” Y/n smiles slightly, her mood somewhat spoiled from Dean’s attitude.

Sam glances at his brother, and then at the angel, unsure where to start.

“Uh, Dean,” he whispers, “you’ve been…different, lately. Are you okay?”

“I don’t like how close they are getting, Sammy.” Dean keeps his voice low.

“Look, I know that you and y/n are close, but you’re not going to lose her because of Cas, if anything you’ve been pushing her away lately,” Sam replies softly, “and I don’t know what’s up with that, but if you’re not careful, you might actually lose her. But it wouldn’t be Cas’ fault,” Dean grips the steering wheel tight, clenching his jaw slightly. He can’t help but hear Castiel softly asking if y/n was okay, and he swallows again, pulling into the parking lot quickly, and sighing.

“Alright, here we are,” he claps his hands.

“Dude, this is a bar,” Sam says, frowning, “I thought we were going to get food.”

“Look! Pub and Grill,” Dean grins, rubbing his hands together. “We can get food and drink. C’mon, tell ‘em Cas.”

“I’d assume that is the idea of a ‘pub and grill’.” Castiel replies.

“See? Cas is down for it. Oh, c’mon Sammy. Live a little,” he opens the door, and climbs out, turning around to Sam again. “Maybe pick up yourself a girl, hell knows I’m going to.” He forces a smile to his face, his gaze involuntarily flickering to Y/n. He licks his lips quickly, his gaze darting away. “Al- all right, okay…well, c’mon. Let’s go guys.” He turns around quickly, shoving the keys in his pocket, his grip a little too tight around them as his jaw clenches, the key digging into his skin.

He couldn’t help the heat that was rising in his chest, but he just shook his head, forcing out a loud laugh as he opened the doors to the bar, waiting for Sam to follow behind him.

“Dude, what’s wrong with you? And drop the act,” Sam asks, putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?” He asks. “I’m fine, look, I’m just a little stressed, I guess. From working too hard, I’m sure- I need some downtime, and this,” he points at the bar, “this is where I can get it. Trust me, Sammy. This is what we need. We need to have some fun and relax,” he grins, “all work and no play makes Dean an angry boy,” Sam rolls his eyes, and sighs.

“Just, don’t overdo it, Dean. And hey- take it easy on Cas and Y/n, they clearly got a thing for each other.”

“Whadd’ya mean?” Dean asks.

“Don’t play dumb, Dean.”

“Who says I’m playing?”

“Look- you’ve been really…over protective brother towards Y/n recently-”

“Oh, gross, dude!” Dean grumbles.

“What?”

“I…” Dean’s heart pounds in his chest as his gaze falls on Y/n walking next to Cas, reluctantly opening the doors to the bar. “Look, it’s nothing- just, leave it alone.”

“No, Dean, you can’t just keep… pushing everything down, if something’s going on you have to-”

“Okay, okay!” Dean hushes him, “I’ll tell you later, okay? Not now. I’m here to have some fun, and this,” he motions wildly with his hands, “not. Fun.” He raises his eyebrows as Sam opens his mouth to speak again, Y/n walking up to the two of them, followed by Cas. “No.” He points at Sam, and then grins, nodding at Y/n. “You drinking?”

“Sure- hey, what was that about?”

“Depends on what you heard,” Dean chuckles, following her up to the bar while Cas and Sam opt to go find a table in the restaurant area.

“I just heard you being all, no..” Y/n tries to imitate his low voice, following it up with a bunch of grumbling sounds. Dean laughs, placing his arm over her shoulder.

“You sound just like me, sweetheart.”

“Oh, shut up.” She shrugs his arm off her shoulders and grins. “Anyways, what was it about? For real, Dean.”

“Sammy didn’t want to drink tonight,” Dean replies smoothly. “Being his regular stick-in-the-mud self, I told him he’s gotta let loose today. What are you drinking? Beer?” She nods, “four beers, please.” He says.

“Four?”

“Me, you, Sammy and Cas.”

“A beer won’t do anything for Cas,” she laughs.

“Yeah, well would you rather he just,” Dean mimics Cas’ stoic expression, and glances blankly around the bar, tapping his hand on the table. Y/n laughs, her eyes closing as she smiles.

“You know, that’s really- that’s really good, exactly like him.” Dean grabs the beers, and places some money on the table, heading over to where Sam and Cas were sitting.

“I guess I’m just that good, sweetheart.” He winks and Y/n rolls her eyes.

“Don’t let it go to your head too much,” she sighs.

“That wasn’t disagreeing,” Dean practically shouts, his eyebrows shooting up in shock. “You didn’t disagree!”

“N-no, god, Dean, of course, I didn’t mean-”

“No no no, too late, no take backs!” Dean grins, “you think I’m great and you know it.” She rolls her eyes, her cheeks heating up as she quickens her pace to pass him.

“Whatever, dork.”

Dean grins, his heart pounding in his chest as he places the drinks down on the table, sitting next to Sam. He glances up at Y/n, and when she catches his gaze, winks, picking up his beer and taking a huge drink from it.

“Alright, guys.” He says, grinning as a warm sensation spreads through his chest. “Let’s have some fun, yeah?”

Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please, let me know! Leave some feedback, it helps to show me what y’all like, want to see more of, and how I can improve as a writer! (It also encourages me to like actually write stuff and put fics out).

If you want to be tagged, or removed from a taglist at any time, let me know! If there’s something you want to be tagged in, a series, fics for certain characters, etc, and you aren’t sure if there’s a taglist for it yet, still let me know and I’ll happily make one to tag you in it!

Tags: 

I’m Such a Fool for You: @@tardy-bee , @@animegirlgeeky , @@7fatpenguins , @death-unbecomes-you , @samael-has-arrived

SPN: @@thatshellfiredean , @@serenity-sam , @ain-t-bovvered , @shows-up-naked-covered-in-bees

[crzcorgi]

Changes

John Winchester Love Week fanfiction

John Winchester x Reader (Y/N) eventually

Words~1800

Warnings ~ language

What happens when a stay at an ordinary motel turns extraordinary?

 I was afraid to go to sleep. Yes, a grown man fucking scared of his dreams. Dreams that have haunted me since that day. Dreams of her, my wife, my boys mother. The woman who was ripped from our lives, from our hearts, by some unknown entity, a monster. That I swore I would hunt down even if it takes me a lifetime.

 Revenge, it’s what fueled me. That and keepin’ my boys safe. Safe from things out there that until my Mary’s death I never knew existed. They were after us, I didn’t know why, but I knew it. My Dean, my Sammy, Mary’s boys, I had to keep them safe.

 So here I sat at the rickety motel table, pouring myself another whiskey, and trying to drink the nightmares away. Every night, those dreams never giving me a rest.

   “Dad?”

 “Whatta you doing’ up Dean? Go back to sleep buddy, you’ve got school in the morning.”

 He walked over to me, shuffling his bare feet. God help me if he didn’t look a bit more like Mary every time I looked at him. He came over and just looked up at me from under his eyelashes. “I had a bad dream again.”

 Fuck.

 It’s one thing for me to go through this living nightmare. But my boy, Jesus, God, Mary, whoever is listening, why do my boys have to suffer? I sighed.

“Come here son.”

 He walked closer to me, close enough for me to pick him up in my arms. I pulled him tightly to my chest, his head snuggling under my chin. I slowly rubbed my hand up and down his back, placing a kiss on the top of his head.

 “I miss momma.”

 Shit

 “I do too buddy. I do too.”

  After awhile I realized he had fallen asleep, I slowly  stood up and carried him across the room. I carefully placed him back beside his little brother in their shared bed. I hesitated, just watching them sleep. I then climbed in beside my oldest, his arm coming up and draping over me.

 Maybe this could be a restful, dreamless, night.

  “Daddy! Daddy!!”

 I woke up to a bright light and a tiny body sitting on my chest.

 “You gots to get up, De gotta go!” Sammy was now poking at my face. I reached down and began tickling his sides, little peals of laughter coming forth from him. Between giggles he spoke, “Daddy! Stop Daddy, you gots to get weady!”

 I picked him up, placing him beside me as I sat up. “Alright dude, I’m up. Can you get dressed on your own?”

 “I’s fwee” He held up 4 fingers, contemplating if that was right. “I knows how to get dwessed!” He sounded indignant, making me silently snicker.

 I stood up, walking to towards the bathroom. Reaching the doorway, I saw the door was open and no Dean to be seen.

 I turned to see Sammy rummaging through his duffle. “Sammy, do you know where your brother is?” It wasn’t like him to disappear, he knew he had to ask permission before leaving the room.

 “He says not to tell you, but…” He wouldn’t look at me.

 Damn it Dean.

 “Sammy, it’s okay, you can tell me bud.”

 “He needs to do somefing for school. The nice lady in da ofwice is helping him.”

 Shit, he needs to tell me these things.

 “Okay, son, can you get dressed and stay here until I get back? I’ll lock the door. Maybe put on a cartoon?”

 “I cans do dat Daddy!”

 I hurried out the door, making sure it was locked, taking off for the office. Reaching the door, I opened it, stepping inside to an empty room.

 “Hello?” No answer. I walked up to the counter and rang the bell.  I turned to look out the window, swinging back around when I heard the shifting of the curtain hanging behind the desk.

   “I’m so sorry, I’m kinda busy back there, I don’t usually leave the desk, just helping a little…”

  Suddenly Dean appeared from behind the curtain, interrupting the woman. “Dad, I’m sorry, don’t be mad. Miss y/n was just helping me with my school project that’s due today.”

 I wanted to be mad, wanted to grab my boy and take him back to our room and ream him out. But I couldn’t. I was fucking mesmerized by this woman standing here. She had long y/h/c, beautiful y/e/c and a smile that made me wanna smile right back.

 Fuck.

 “Mr. Winchester, correct? I’m sorry, I thought you knew Dean was here. I volunteer in his classroom and offered to help him with his project. I do apologize.” She looked at me and I fucking melted.

I was in trouble.

 Dean stepped around the desk carrying what looked like an odd shaped box. “It’s a pyramid Dad! Y/N helped me make it.”

 I looked away from my unabashed starring to take a hold of Dean’s “pyramid” “Nice job buddy, did you thank Mrs…?”

 “He did, he’s a very polite young man. And it’s just y/n, and I’m not married.” I was smiling at her like a fucking teenager. Shit, I can’t do this. But there was something about her, the unexplained draw towards her, I’d never felt it before.

 I cleared my throat, “Well, thank you, y/n, very much. I, uh, my job, it makes it hard for me to, uh, help Dean with his schoolwork.” I couldn’t stop smiling at her. “So, really, thank you, it’s very much, um, appreciated.”

  “It’s no trouble at all Mr. Winchester, I understand all about a job keeping you from your children.” She looked down, her demeanor quickly switching, “all too well.”

 I missed her smile. “Just call me John,” She looked up at me, her beautiful smile returning. “Dean, lets go pick up Sammy and get you to school.”

 Dean turned and ran over to y/n, his arms sliding around her, giving her a tight hug. “Thank you y/n.”  Seeing my boy hugging a woman other than my Mary, his mom, fuck, I didn’t know what I was thinking, it was a mix of emotions. But the one that seemed to be most dominant wasn’t anger or sadness, which if I witnessed this a month ago would have been the definite answer. No, it was a feeling of warmth, something that felt like hopefulness. Something like home.

  “Okay Dean, you go get your baby brother.” She had moved her hands up to lightly grasp his head, placing a gentle kiss on the crown. Dean turned, starting to walk away. “Oh wait!” She gasped out. “I’m heading to the school in just a bit, would you like to ride with me Dean? If your dad says it’s okay?” She smiled at me, her head tipping to the side slightly.

 “Can I dad, please?” Dean looked up at me, giving me his brother’s patented puppy dog eyes.  

 “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” I looked over to y/n, watching her smile fade. And feeling like shit. I just couldn’t trust, not even someone that affected me the way she seemed to. But I’m sure she just thought I was a jackass.

  “Aww, come on dad!”

  “It’s okay Dean, I’ll see you at school anyway!” She tried to smile, I’m sure for his sake.

  “Okay.” He answered in a gruff tone, pushing past me and out the door.  

 “Dean! Don’t give your dad a hard time!” She yelled after him, sighing. “I’m sorry John.”  

 I wasn’t sure what to say it felt kinda awkward. “Uh, thanks for that, it’s just,” She had walked around the desk and was now standing beside me, her small hand landing on my arm.

  “It’s okay, I get it.” The way she looked at me, it was like we were sharing a secret. It confused me. Did she know what I did? But how could she? Did Dean slip up? No, he wouldn’t. One thing I was sure of, I was enjoying her warm hand on my arm more than I should have.

 Removing her hand from my arm she looked at me and smiled. “You need to grab your boys and I need to see where my sister is. Please tell Dean that he did a wonderful job on his pyramid and I will let Ms. Smith how hard he worked on it.”

 I grinned, I know I didn’t let him know nearly enough, but I was damn proud of that boy. He’s been through so much in his short life and yet he perseveres. Most days I feel like the shittiest fuck-up of a parent, the life I’ve forced my boys into. Yeah, I can blame that monster that took their mom. But the end of the day it’s my decision, my choice. So listening to y/n praise him, it meant I might be doing something right in how I’m teachin’ them.

  “Yeah, yes, I gotta go, but um, thank you again. It’s much appreciated. I don’t know if Dean told you but it’s just us men, their mom, my wife, she…” I choked up, trying not to get fucking emotional in front of her.

 “It’s okay John, I understand, truly.” She had stepped closer again, no hand on me this time, but a sad smile, and a look of understanding. “Hey, I don’t know what your plans are, or where your job will take you today. But I have a stew in the crock pot and I know it is way too much for just my sis and me, maybe you and your boys can join us? It’s not much but it’ll get you men out of that tiny room, not that our apartment is that much bigger.” She giggled, making me feel warm.

 My brain wanted to decline her kind offer. But my mouth had other plans and I just fucking blurted out, “Yeah, that sounds great, I’m sure Sammy would love something besides spaghettios. And Dean would wanna kick my ass if I said no.”

 “Great! I’ll be back by 4 so come on over anytime after that. If for some reason I’m not here, my sister will be.”

 I started walking towards the door. “Thank you again, y/n.”

 “No need to keep thanking me, John. Dean’s a great kid, I love spending time with him.” She moved right into my side, making me suck in a big breath. “Between you and me, most 8 year olds annoy the heck out of me, and I work with them!” She laughed, sending a chill throughout my body. “But Dean, he’s mature beyond his years, but still a kid, you know?”

 I nodded, once again feeling proud of my boy. “Well, I guess we’ll see you later then.”

 “You have a good day, John. And find yourself a bronze dagger.” She winked, turning and walking behind the desk and through the curtain.

 And left me standing there with my mouth open.

[lattetimes]

So How About Them New Episodes, Ammirite Ladies??

here’s what i thought of the new episodes via live reactions as i watching them!

overall, it was kinda underwhelming but there were parts that i really did like! and if you liked these episodes, that’s awesome!

MAYOR DEWEY WINS

was this title a reference to the movie/book John Dies at the End, cause if so then i’m shocked i caught that

apparently it is, would you look at that. btw i kinda liked the movie.

damn, Sadie took this hard. and Steven never told Lars’ parents. so i guess Sadie has to do that herself.

why tf does Steven care if Dewey wins?!

OH, IT’S BECAUSE HE DON’T WANT SHIT TO CHANGE AND HE THINKS HAVING A NEW MAYOR WOULD BE BAD WTF DEWEY DOES NOTHING

ok wow, there’s only 24 people in Beach City and he never noticed that Lars was gone!?

“is that why the donut shop was closed?”

“we’ll hire a new donut boy!” DEWEY. DUDE. ARE YOU FOR REAL?!

“high school mayor” lmao

how did he run unopposed for 10 years!?

LARS’ MOM KEEPS A SHITTON OF TOMATOES IN HER PURSE SHE READY TO THROW DOWN ALL THE TIME

i don’t like that Steven is so adamant on Dewey winning.

jesus, Steven, let Nanefua win. she’s obviously the better person for the job

“i’m done pointing my finger at you, and now i direct all my fingers on both my hands to the citizens” top 10 anime deaths

NANEFUA WINS, OH MY GOD YES

STEVEN, DUDE, REALLY?! LEAVE CONNIE ALONE!

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i need to get a new job” 2018 mood tbh

episode rating: 2 tomatoes out of 5. i can’t stand Steven in this episode at all. but hey, NANEFUA WON!!!!!!

RAISING THE BARN

....was Lapis’ main concern that Steven dropped his phone on Homeworld? not the fact that he was... idk... ON HOMEWORLD?!

ok Lapis is ready to bail immediately and tbh i dont blame her

did she just uproot the entire bard wtf?! 

BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

episode rating: 1.5 barns out of 5. BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

GEMCATION

^ mfw Amethyst basically spat an egg out her mouth (it was kinda gross)

well. Greg got some kinda house.... still don’t get why the crew is so against having Greg get a house

also, where’s Peridot?

“remove all shoes before entering” Pearl fucking THROWS A RANDOM ASS PAIR OF SHOES

OKAY PEARL SCREAMING “PARTY GUY, NO!” WAS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY

S H O W M E P A R T Y G U Y Y O U C O W A R D S

“Steven, you should join me. become a raisin” ok Garnet

did. did Steven completely cut Garnet off as she was talking about Pink Diamond and the Gem War with the whole, “yeah, yeah, i get it, Mom. i already heard this story” kinda thing? B R U H that ain’t okay

AND GARNET JUST SHUTS UP AND WAS LIKE “good, you understand”

PEARL WAS GONNA STRAIGHT UP ADMIT TO SOME HUGE THING AFTER HER “THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN” LINE AND HE CUTS HER OFF WITH “CONNIE HATES ME”

WHY COULDN’T STEVEN AT LEAST TELL THESE FOUR THAT HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT CONNIE HATING HIM?!

I’M KINDA GETTING SICK OF SEEING STEVEN MOPE LIKE THIS FOR 3 EPISODES STRAIGHT AND I HOPE HE DOESN’T KEEP THIS UP FOR THE NEXT 2

OH NO, PLEASE DISREGARD ALL OF THE MESSED UP THINGS YOU SAW ON HOMEWORLD CAUSE CONNIE IS (rightfully) UPSET WITH YOU. LARS D I E D.

GUITAR DAD SAVES THE DAY

i love Greg Universe

how would you not notice if you aren’t getting any service on your phone? your phone tells you when you’re getting service or not

bruh you almost made your dad drive off a cliff for you to get phone service

Greg Universe is a ride or die kinda guy

this ending shot is cute, i’ll give you that. 

episode rating: 2 party guys out of 5. Party Guy should’ve bitten Steven’s phone and his shit attitude. also PEARL WTF ARE YOU TELL US ALREADY

BACK TO THE KINDERGARTEN

Connie i miss you

“of the three things i have to do in the sink now, this is the one i least mind you seeing” B R U H

 Peridot listens to country music, this is disgusting

HOLY SHIT AMETHYST IS TOSSIN’ PERIDOT AROUND LIKE SHE WEIGHS NOTHING AND I’M CRACKING UP

“can i bring my music?” “NO.” damn Amethyst you already threw Peri around like she ain’t nothin’, let her bring her music if it’ll help her

aaaay, they’re in the train again!

dang, Peri really loved the barn.

i kinda like that Amethyst is going around trying to figure out which member of the Famethyst came out of which part of the Kindergarten. kinda cute. 

so everything is seriously determined by the nutrition, right down to the style of a Gem’s hair? ...huh. iron deposits determine hair styles.

damn, Peri went with a sucker punch to the gut with her little speech about how Kindergartens kill off life and are just “lifeless husks” once all the Gems are done being formed. and Amethyst feels awful about it, dang.

ok. there’s a flower growin’ in the Kindergarten, and that should technically be impossible due to all of the nutrients in this one area being used up. this could be interesting.

ok, so now the trio is gonna farm & see what happens. ok, ok, i can roll with this i guess.

FARMING MONTAGE

look at them flowers

they proud

don’t make Peri live here

why the flamingo thingy taller than both of them

gods i didn’t need to see Steven happily showering

they’re talking about how the flowers are probs gonna look beautiful i bet they all died, they’re too positive about this. $5 them flowers are dead.

them flowers are dead,

...now they’re arguing, cause Peri blew up on them. alright. this ain’t good.

aaaaaaaaaaaand Peri crushed the original flower that grew here. both Steven & Amethyst made pained whimpers. ok. this ain’t good.

oh it’s a Gem creature- haven’t seen one of those in a while!

IT ATE PERIDOT HOLY FUCK

SMOKEY QUARTZ IS BACK

ngl i like Smokey’s theme music

btw there’s no dialogue from Smokey, just a quick 2 second thing

Peri doesn’t reform with a star on her

ok, that was kinda cute. and having a technician that also likes gardening is cute too

episode rating: 3.5 dead sunflowers outta 5. it was an okay episode & i did like it. 

SADIE KILLER

heh, i get it. cause lady killer.

oh god, that looks bad

WHY IS THAT MOP SO BIG

instead of reading off a long-ass list to the overly worked employee, just hand Sadie the list so she won’t fuck up?

“and a coffee. hold the coffee.” same tbh

oh. he’s in a band with the Cool Kids. WE GET TO SEE THE COOL KIDS!

“...i hope he [Lars] is safe and all, but working all these shifts by myself has been a huge drag” GIRL, LARS DIED IN SPACE AND IS STILL THERE

Steven stealing all the napkins is something i’d do tbh

man, i love the Cool Kids

is my girl Jenny rockin’ the bass? aaaaaaaaaaay!

Sour Cream, what the HECK IS RAP-A-BILLY?

“Doo-doo. Butt. The government corrupts” Buck is the voice of this generation

welcome to EB Games

they... they admitted to following her home from work....

“doo-doo. i think i broke your bed” Buck wtf

also, i guess them watching all of Sadie’s horror movies gave them inspiration to do that weird donut-brain-eating song. weird.

“we are the working dead, and we lurch for minimum wage” same Sadie

......ok, she’s freaking everyone out. and they look uncomfortable. Sadie, seriously stop. they’re concerned.

...she. put lipstick on her eyes.

see, if she wasn’t freakin’ everyone out with this, i’d say this song is a bop. 

ok they’re fine now & thought it was lit ok cool cool cool. i ain’t a big fan of the lyrics tbh, but i do like the song.

 “aww, doo-doo”

ok so Steven’s askin’ for advice on how to write horror-themed songs from Sadie. how about LARS DIED ON HOMEWORLD

SADIE’S ADVICE IS:

LOSE YOUR LIFE TO A BORING JOB

LOSE THE ONE PERSON YOU WERE CLOSE TO

LOSE YOUR MIND WORKIN A TON OF SHIFTS

GIRL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Steven puttin’ Sadie on blast, good lord he just sang an accidental roast tryin’ to sing shit like she does

HE STOLE ALL THE NAPKINS AGAIN

“you can’t help being cute no more than i can help being cool” Buck, you’re a blessing

“yoooooo, what if this is all a dream?” Buck, wtf?

oh. Sadie’s goin’ with them. okay. 

OH. SHE QUIT HER JOB. UM. OKAY?

episode rating: 3 funky riffs out of 5. Buck Dewey is great.

KEVIN PARTY

I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THIS EPISODE, BUT IMMA DO IT ANYWAY

DIDN’T EVEN START THE EPISODE AND I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

let’s just get this over with...

why’d Steven wait this long to track down Lion?!

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, here he is......

gods, i still hate him

stop being gross to kids, leave Steven and Connie alone ya freak

at least he knows they use they/them pronouns. 

how did he find out where Connie is? doesn’t she live far away from Beach City? did he track down these two kids just to “invite” Stevonnie?!

“no one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party” i sure as fuck would

lmao Kevin has an old phone

“your name’s Steven? weird, i thought your name was Clarence” OI, DON’T INSULT CLARENCE LIKE THAT

rude, Steven brought snacks and ya just toss ‘em into the void?

ok. he’s creepily obsessed with Stevonnie cause apparently they make parties and shit like that hella fun. um. stop? being obsessed with kids??

WTF WHY IS LION AT THE PARTY

Connie actually showed up. and had Lion the entire time. that’s. super fucked up. Lion is the ONLY way to get to Lars directly!

and also, there’s TWO KIDS AT A PARTY WITH OLDER PEOPLE?! NO ONE BUT DERRICK QUESTIONS THIS?

Kevin’s gonna try to get them to talk to each other... so they can form Stevonnie... so his party won’t suck...

also, he keeps calling them 7-year-olds........ siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, ok Kevin.

KEVIN YOU IDIOT LET THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER SO HE CAN SAY SORRY DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR “COOL GUY” BULLSHIT

“i need those old people to whisper my name when they die” tbh goals

“who’s Sabina?” Kevin got all red in the face and almost lost his cool

so Kevin’s gonna try to make Steven look like he’s moved on from Connie or some shit. this won’t end well.

NO, NOT DERRICK’S JACKET

now we get a montage of 2 kids being uncomfortable surrounded by older people at a party they should’t be at, ok.

at least Connie looks cute. and she got a haircut! so cute!

NOT CUTE NOT CUTE NOT CUTE

GOD, I HATE KEVIN

Steven, what are you doing?

STEVEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ok, quick recap cause i didn’t mention this: Kevin thought Steven & Connie were dating, so, Connie only went to the party to see if Steven’s okay and if they could talk. Steven decided to follow Kevin’s advice for some reason, and Connie thinks Steve’s new BFF is Kevin, and Kevin has no concept of what friends are.

so. Connie didn’t text Steven cause she preferred talking face to face about this, and that texting him wasn’t good enough to work out these issues. very fair point. still don’t get why you legit stole Lion from him, but the not texting back thing makes complete sense.

ok, she rode Lion to his house while Steven, Greg & the Gems were away (the episode Gemcation). and that’s when she bumped into Kevin and got the invite. ok. now Kevin is slightly less creepy, but still disgusting nonetheless.

oh, yay! they’re talking it out! and Steven isn’t disregarding Connie’s anger!

yay! they’re friends again!

don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie.

LMAO GET FUCKED, KEVIN, THEY AIN’T FORMIN’ STEVONNIE

episode rating: 1 Lion out of 5. least fave episode, tbh. but hey, we got Connie back!

[dottenator]

@hussie

Respectfully....

WHAT THE FUCK

One little note before I begin my serious thoughts: Hussie how could you kill the Mayor? It absolutely pales in comparison to everyting else, but come on dude.

I'm gonna try to work out my frustrations in the order I read these, meat and then candy, so....

Meat

How dare you do this to Dirk.

That's the thing which keeps sticking to me, honestly. They won! The game is over, Dirk has friends who love him, why this?? Why is Dirk destined to go completely nuts and do such horrible and awful things, ciolating the mental autonomy of everyone he supposedly cares about? Jake and Jane's feelings in the earlier parts of the epilogue, before the meddling becomes so overt, are significantly more creepy and invasive once it becomes clear that Dirk is making them think like this. The way they break down with his influence removed is horrifying. Dirk is such a fantastic character and I'm supposed to accept that he never grows out of thinking he can control everyone? That I'm not allowed an epilogue in which he calms the fuck down and lets himself not be in charge? I don't care at this point of that's considered wish fulfillment, give him a HAPPY ENDING for once. Not this bullshit. I'm not even gonna call that ~~Ultimate Self~~ thing by the name of the character I love. He doesn't deserve this.

Rose and Kanaya were our one good thing, and then this?? Dirk fucks with Rose's autonomy and fragile mental state to trick her away from her wife forever? The Rosemary wedding was the best thing about the original snapchat epilogue. The two of them are perfect for each other, they were happy god damn it, and I don't like any brand of storytelling that decides to split up the immortal god lesbians for pointless egotistical drama. Kanaya's fury and grief when she's allowed control over her own thoughts again is the most terrifying thing, because it really shows just how far from their understood, canon selves they really were in this epilogue. (The use of the word canon is really touchy to me after All This, but atm it's the best way to describe "the characterization we all know and love from previously established sources")

Everyone died beating English. Sure, why not. All the ghosts, Vriska, the teen kids, John everyone. It makes me unbelievably sad to imagine any of them dying (maybe not the ghosts), but with all the rest of this steaming pile of bullshit characterization I'm almost numb to it. Terezi is refreshingly real, still herself and completely believable, but when she gets back to Earth C she just. Doesn't talk to anyone? Doesn't get in touch with John or Karkat, doesn't tell anyone at all that John is dead? Why??? I'm baffled here. There's no closure to anything about Terezi here, except her personal emotions on Vriska, and who knows how valid that catharsis is with the fucking mind control narrative device everywhere. Also, fuck Hussie for making me read anyone claiming that John isn't important, or relevant, or an incredible and unique character. Was the Candy postscript supposed to imply she ended up with Dirk and Rose?? Why??? What the fuck is even going on here?????

Dave and Karkat were usually a balm to the whole bullshit, but like everything else they too are tainted by the overwhelming lack of consent in this whole epilogue. Do I think Dave and Karkat are a cute couple who should be together? Yeah. Do I think it should happen like that? Fuck no!!! They're both clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation, it all feels like an incredible violation of privacy and consent, and then right at the end it implies that Karkat isn't comfortable with how it happened and is oushing Dave away because of it! Like, fuck!!! This isn't what anyone wanted to happen! Let them figure themselves out on their own terms, with no weird narrative devices pushing them into it. Who cares how long it takes, they're all immortal!!!!!

Roxy is a cornerstone honestly. The narrative can't touch him, and I love him for it. Good for him. I really don't have anything to say on Roxy in meat, he's just fine, due largely to his immunity to the narrative bullshit.

Jane.......... I'm not sure. The bits from her point of view (though it's really unclear how much is her and how much is the narrative's influence) paint her as having some kind of reason for her troll-related policies, but really? There's no excuse for them. What the FUCK, Jane. Why does her entire future have to be molded by the influence of Condy? Can't we have a future without uncomfortable Trump parallels and the assertation that a beloved character is an asshole who wants to quash the rights of an entire species? Please Hussie I'm so tired.

Jake just makes me sad tbh. Don't have a lot to say on him. The narrative has been abusing him since Act 6 started, and the new narrative doesn't let up. Give this boy a break, I'm begging you.

In conclusion on Meat:

The parts where the muse is in charge, or where the narrative steps back and allows the characters to be themselves, are amazing. Fuck everything else, and fuck Hussie for making me read it. I'm too mad to think straight.

Candy

How dare you do this, to any of them?

The first heartbreak of Candy is Roxy/Calliope. John/Roxy is a sweet enough ship, but at what cost? They were so happy together, amd even John repeatedly points out in his internal monologue that it doesn't feel right to break them up. His conversation with Dave about sexuality and love is incredible, and up to chapter 14 the Roxy and Callir issue seemed to be the only sticking point in a much happier version

Then Dirk dies, and really? Really??? Fuck you. Fuck you for making me read that Dirk Strider would choose to end his own life when he realizes that he can no longer <i>control the minds of his friends and family</i>. That's fucked up in a million different directions. Fuck you.

Every songle thing Gamzee does makes me feel physically unclean. Is this supposed ti be a parody of poorly written fix-it fanfiction? A deconstruction of redemption arcs as a concept? It wasn't needed! Homestuck has redemption arcs already, Vriska and (Vriska) in particular bandied the idea around and deconstructed it fairly well, all of John's retcon powers were a fix-it fic, was ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT necessary??? It's a disgrace to the person Gamzee was before he went insane, and to everyone forced to read through his awful, awful dialogue.

Roxy was difficult to read in this epilogue, coming straight out of meat where Roxy was confident in himself and hid place in the world, then on to this Roxy who felt subtly wrong right up until her final conversation with John when we get her point of view on everything that's happened. Still mad about the Straight Married Babies Ever After, but Roxy at least is still #real, and I can respect her and her choices. (Except the ones involving Gamzee and funerals. I acknowledge that being weird about funerals is a known Roxy trait, but come on. Really??)

John feels like the point of view character again in Candy. He's the only one who seems to notice that something isn't quite right, his conversations with Terezi are incredible when they aren't slapping me in the face with the not-so-subtle wrongness of this universe, and his reconciliations with Roxy and Jake at the end are beautiful. I love that he at least tried to help little Tavros, no matter how it turned out, because he's a good fucking person!

Jake is a mixed bag. Am I happy with how he's treated in the first three quarters of the epilogue? Oh FUCK no. An I happy that he finally gets to be free by the end and be his own fucking person for once in his life? Absolutely. Give the boy some agency, and some GOD DAMN PANTS.

Jade honestly doesn't..... Do much? Either plot-wose or for me emotionally. She isn't in the epilogue much except as an obstacle for Davekat, which is really rude to everyone involved. I barely remember a time when I shipped DaveJade, and I don't think I ever shipped JadeKat, but after Meat I'd really hoped that that triad could work itself out. They had the potential to really be happy. Then it didn't, and she's never going to know why her husband didn't come back from investigating that strange building, unless she followed and found his corpse, dead for no apparent reason and not capable of being revived. I'm not sure which is worse. At least one of those has some kind of closure.

Karkat I actually really like in Candy. He stands up for himself, apparently finds love with Meenah, founds a moderately successful rebellion. Good For Him.

Dave is a clusterfuck of emotions, as always. Am I happy about his relationship with Jade? Not really, it seems by the end like he forced himself into it, thinking it was the right thing to do more than actually wanting it. Am I happy he got to meet and talk to Obama? Absolutely, though there is then the whole can of worms which is the canon Condy backstory. Not even touching that. After the speculation in Meat I'm thrilled to find out Obama did in fact god tier and escape the destruction of the universe. Dave is gay, he loves/loved Karkat, he's off to be the ~~Ultimate~~ version of himself and save the multiverse in the Meat postscript. Good For Him. (Also I can't be the only one who thinks Obama meant he and Dirk Fucked. Did that really happen? Did I dream that up??)

Rose and Kanaya were good too. Am I thrilled they found and raised Vriska 2.0? No. Am I happy they got to grow older together, immortal lesbian gods who are deeply in love? 10 million percent yes. Rose thanking John for the happy times with her family moved me. It didn't make it all worth it, but it helped soothe the burn this epilogue left on my soul.

Aside: I'm glad all the dead trolls are here? They're not double dead, this universe is somehow inside the black hole I guess (?), the generic dead (and Meenah and (Vriska)) get to do other shit too. Meenah/Karkat is sweet, Vriska got to kill Gamzee once and for all, I'm okay with that sequence of events.

Aradia and Sollux showing up made my day, I'm not gonna lie. They're great and hilarious. Alt!Callie's explanation of how a narrator's motives can shape a story helped me come to terms with Meat, as well as being just a fantastic bit of meta discussion.

That really just leaves Jane........

I'm not happy. Sweet baker girl is a tyrannical and genocidal despot?? No thanks. Abusive, xenophobic, asshole Jane, basically new Condy with a twist, is not something I'n gonna accept. The only time I sympathized with her at all was when her father died, and that was more for his sake than anything else. (Side note: where the fuck was he in Meat??)

In conclusion on Candy:

I don't know how anything could be as bad as Meat, but this is. Somehow. The light parts were lighter, but everything had a fundamental wrongness to it, and I couldn't be satisfied with any of it. At least Callie said none of it is canon, and she only stuck around to kill English once and for all and fix the narrative of Meat.

In Conclusion

Hussie, come out and fight me you COWARD.

[machihunnicutt]

Small Hot Chocolate, No Whip (Chapter 2)

(Or read on ao3.)

Chapter 2: Evan

Evan couldn't figure out whether he was happy or upset. He felt tingly all over and when he got home he tripped over Jared's shoes in the doorway.

"Dude did you fall?" The owner of said shoes said, coming out into the hallway. His glasses were crooked and he was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt despite the fact it was only 7:30. They were alike in that respect. He and Jared had been on the edge of close for most of high school: Jared was kind of mean for a while and then it happened and there was a lot of talking and a few confessions and somewhere along the way they became friends. School was easier with Jared there.

He was a computer science major with more friends than Evan could even comprehend. King of the nerds he'd dubbed himself.

"A little. Can we talk?"

Jared's eyebrows rose in amusement.  "Sure, what's up?"

"Zoe," he started, chewing on his bottom lip. "Has a brother."

"Zoe, the barista love of your life?"

"She's n-not the l-love of my...I think her brother was flirting with me."

"Holy shit. Is he hot? Do you like him?"

Evan passed him in the hallway and collapsed on his bed. Jared followed him. "Evan Bisexual Hansen are you COURTING?"

"Leave me alone Jared," he said, blushing ridiculously. "He's just...he's cute okay? And now I'm c-conflicted."

Jared cackled. "This is the funniest shit I've heard all week and the newest John Oliver was really good."

Evan buried his face in his comforter and moaned. He wasn't good at this sort of thing. He wasn't good at a lot of things but he certainly wasn't good at this. Connor walking him home had felt like something, but today he'd been largely ignored after trying to help him outside of the cafe. Maybe he'd realized how pathetic Evan was and wanted to cut things off before they went too far? Maybe Evan had unknowingly said something offensive?

"Dude, are you okay?" Jared said after awhile of this.

"'M fine," he said, voice muffled.

"Alright," he said, giving him a comforting pat on the back. "I'm ordering pizza. "If you want to talk about your coffee siblings kink further you know where to find me."

The next day Evan was early to his climate lecture. He wasn't as early as he was the first day. Petrified of being late, he'd shown up nearly an hour and a half early and sat, knees curled to his chest in the overly air conditioned hallway. He took his usual seat in the third row and pulled out a notepad.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today is going to be a good day and here's why:

Jared promised to go over your notes with you so you won't worry that you missed or misunderstood something. Connor Murphy is nice and has a cute smile and you don't have to see him today so you can think about what yesterday meant. You have leftover pizza for lunch.

You're doing okay.

Sincerely,

Me

The letters were no longer a therapy assignment but they made him feel better so he'd kept up the habit. He flipped over to his notes and scanned the shaky handwriting. Sometimes he had a question but was too afraid to ask it and his own fear and guilt over not being able to articulate himself made him nervous and he started shaking and spacing out and that was when his handwriting went to shit.

Today's lecture wasn't as bad. He understood all the concepts they discussed and his letters stayed even and legible. After class he made a beeline for the library, walking with purpose so he didn't have to talk to anyone. He had some homework and when he was finished he went up to the fourth floor where the windows were big and the view was better and found a book on the world's coolest trees.

"Are you stalking me Hansen?" He looked up. Of all people, he did not expect to see Connor Murphy here. For half a second he thought he was there to say something mean. But he was smiling kindly and Evan felt guilty. Connor crossed his arms over his chest. Connor was tall: all angles and lean muscles. Today he had the same black hoodie rolled up to his elbows and a new gray v-neck. Evan noticed the mess of friendship bracelets and hair bands covering both of his wrists and the new coating of black polish on his nails. His hair was glorious as usual, though it looked soft and fluffier today.

"Connor!" He jumped. "I didn't know you'd be here. I was...distracted."

Connor tugged on the strap of his messenger bag and Evan felt his eyes  looking him over. He worried that there was something on his shirt or face. C'mon Evan just communicate.

"I um...are y-you angry w-with me?" He said, feeling his heart pound rapidly. "Yesterday you seemed k-kind of..."

"No," Connor interrupted. Evan forced himself to look up at him. His eyes were big and sad. "No, I'm sorry. It was just a bad day. It wasn't you."

"Oh," He said dumbly. "Okay good. I was wondering then if we might e-exchange emails that is...if you'd want to t-talk to me and uh...be f-friends?"

"Emails? I could just give you my number?"

Emails? Emails! You idiot why would he want to talk to you in the 90s. He might well have asked if their moms could set up a play date.

"Oh! Right, your number. Y-yeah, that's fine."

"Here." He pulled a Sharpie out of his back pocket and gestured for Evan to stick out his hand. Evan was suddenly preoccupied with the idea that his hand might be so sweaty the whole message would wipe off.  "Is it chill if I write it on the back of your hand?" Instead of saying this he nodded.

"Nice to see you Hansen."

"Yeah, n-nice to see you too Connor."

Jared had trivia night at the bar down the street. Thanks to him his team was undefeated. He'd invited Evan to come watch numerous times but going meant being around fellow 19 year olds with fake IDs sipping beers he was entirely uncomfortable with.

Evan thought he was probably the most vanilla college student in existence, not that Jared ever hassled him for it or that he planned on changing his behavior.

He was almost 20 and he'd never even kissed anyone. If that could change maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Because Jared wasn't there to tell him not to, Evan pulled up his Instagram and searched for Connor. Careful not to like any old photos, he scrolled through his profile with interest.

Zoe was in most of the posts. He could tell they were close. On her birthday he'd made her an ice cream cake and posted a multi paragraph caption about how lucky he was to have her in his life. Evan grinned at the older photos where he was shorter and less lean and his captions were riddled with typos.

He stopped on a photo of Connor at what appeared to be a Pride parade. His grinning face was painted: rainbow streaks beneath his shining eyes and hair swimming with glitter. Beside him, and Evan finally put two and two together then, Zoe was kissing her no doubt girlfriend who was tagged as Alana.

Connor Murphy wasn't straight. That was a sign as encouraging as the photos of Zoe Murphy's girlfriend were discouraging.

The conversation in the coffee shop the next day went about as well as could be expected until Evan let slip that he was a creepy Instagram stalker. And then the business about his broken arm...

He knew Connor didn't mean any harm but he wasn't in the habit of telling people about the time he threw himself out of a tree and laid there pathetically friendless, sobbing about how he should've died but didn't. It didn't seem like the kind of detail you revealed to a boy you liked.

He hoped he was serious about the nature walk. Despite his stumbling speech he had a whole tour planned in his head. It was dumb but when Evan was in a forest he felt at peace. His limbs that usually stirred with unwanted activity quieted; his thoughts that circled menacingly slowed and straightened out into neat and gentle lines. In the forest he didn't feel like everyone was looking at him. His flaws were not on display and he could breathe in the fresh air without worrying that he didn't deserve to.

Connor Murphy looked like he would be good at climbing trees. He could probably reach branches Evan couldn't. He was probably fast.

***

Evan didn't know how he got here. That happened sometimes when his panic was intense. The lines between past and present blurred and he got the feeling that someone had dragged a big pink eraser through his brain.

He knew he was shaking. He knew he was drawing in raspy, shallow breaths and that his face was wet with tears. After a moment it came back to him. He was locked in the bathroom at the coffee shop, curled up pitifully on the tile, and the walls seemed to be crashing in on him.

There was a knock on the door. He curled in tighter. "Hey Evan? Is that you in there?" Connor sounded worried. He didn't want to worry him.

"I...y-yeah," his voice quivered terribly. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Are you sick?"

"I had an uh...a p-panic attack," he said. "S-sorry to..."

"Evan can I come in?" He interrupted.  His voice sounded tight. "Please."

Evan got up and wiped his face with his hands. His head spun and vision swam but he crossed the room and unlocked the door. He couldn't meet Connor's eyes.

"Come in the back. I'll get you some water. Do you want to take my hand?"  

Evan nodded despite himself. Connor's hand was warm and his grip was firm. He let himself be led to a chair in the back room. Connor sat him down and brought him a cup of water. He sipped from the cup and felt his breathing slow. Way to go Evan. Now he knows you're a quivering mess and you probably have snot all over your face.

"Sorry," he muttered, looking up at Connor. "I'm really sorry for c-causing all this trouble."

Connor ran a hand through his hair. "Don't be sorry. You're fine. I just want to make sure you're okay. Do you want to talk about it?" Connor chipped at the nail polish on his thumb and his brows furrowed. "I mean I know we're not...I um," he blushed. "I just want to help. You kind of scared me."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"No," Connor's eyes widened. "I didn't mean it like that. I...I'm sorry Evan."

What was he sorry for? Evan was the one having a break down in public. Evan was the one whose breath still felt a bit shallow and very existence a bit worthless. He was making progress, he really was. He just wasn't making any today. Just because you feel like you're taking a few steps back today doesn't mean you won't roll doubles and move forward a lot tomorrow. Jared said to him once. It wasn't the first board game metaphor he'd thrown at him.

"Evan," Connor repeated and Evan realized he'd been staring at him like an idiot.

"T-there's no r-reason for you to be s-sorry. I'm the one who got a D on my test and is probably going to flunk out of school and end up living in a box and then I'll be basically friendless and homeless and I'm sorry I can't be rational about that and have to panic in your bathroom like a pathetic child and..."

"Evan." He liked it when Connor said his name. It was gentle. Connor didn't look like the kind of guy who could speak like that. But Evandidn't like judging people based on stereotypes.  "One bad grade doesn't mean you're going to flunk out, believe me," he said slowly. "And having a panic attack doesn't mean you're pathetic or a kid. It's okay," he said, insistent. When Evan sniffled he reached forward to put his hand on his shoulder. Evan flinched and then felt bad.

"I'm sorry." Connor drew back.

"Don't be," he said. "Let me walk you again. I can talk Alana into getting you a free hot chocolate. "

"Okay," Evan said. His face was probably so red. Great, red, snot covered, hiccuping now and he was still offering to spend more time with him. "You're really nice," he blurted. Maybe it was a Murphy sibling thing.

Connor laughed. "I'm not that nice."

Evan took small sips of the free hot chocolate and stole glances at Connor Murphy beside him.

"I freak out during tests sometimes. It uh...when I have trouble I tend to s-shut down," he muttered. It wasn't as if he had to keep up false pretenses anymore.

"Have you talked to any of your professors about your anxiety?"

He should. He'd told himself to numerous times but he always seemed to get in his own way. "I can deal with it," he said instead.

"I know," Connor said with a confidence that admittedly, Evan didn't feel. They were at his place. The lights were on and Jared's car was in the driveway.

"Thanks," Evan said. "For everything." Connor Murphy smiled at him and how could he not have a crush on this boy?

"It's going to be okay," he said seriously. He seemed to blend in with the blackness of the night. When Evan was little he was afraid of the dark. He begged his mom to leave the lights on in his bedroom and cried when she didn't. Connor Murphy made the dark seem like a big, warm blanket tucked beneath your chin.

"Thanks," he repeated because it was better than saying sorry.

"You're welcome Evan Hansen." Jared would say he should have invited him in for coffee but it seemed dumb to ask a barista that and he wasn't daring. The panic attack had drained him and Evan didn't have a lot to drain in the first place.

"Hey, um..." Connor's mouth fell open and his awkward start hung for a moment. "My sister's having a music showcase on Friday and I was wondering if you might want to come with me? It would be nice to have a friend there you know?"

A friend.

"Sure. Text me the details." Connor Murphy isn't completely repulsed by you.

"Okay, well goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He got the text while he was brushing his teeth:

CM: showcase is at 7. I can pick u up early and we can get dinner? ps: I think ur really brave Hansen. That's probably weird to say but fuck it.

Fuck it.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X13 The Song Remains the Same

aw nuts I'm still one behind

ah well I'm severely burned and prom is tomorrow

god I hope Cas is in this one

HEY! CHERRY PIE!

Listen I actually like this song

He's dreaming isn't he

HI ANNA

this is a nice set

Ah right when Cas was Conflicted I see

ok so meeting

I still think Angel Anna popping in to say hi and shit was fun man

thE FUCKING LIGHTS ARE THE ENTRANCE

wait no I see Cas is lamp and where that came from I see it now

they told Cas, Cas didn't let them

'no on escapes' oh?

sAM WINCHESTER HAS TO DIE?

that was a cool scene why don't we have more

just...disembowlement

"another way" here we go

"you've changed" "maybe too late" : (

"come near Sam Winchester and I kill you"

are...are they even friends though?

"who's glenn close" aw

oH THE GREASE POSTER

MA GIC

no give me more Sam and Cas too goDAMIT

yes I know why leave me alone

the Exasperated "I don't understand that reference" and Dean's "my cool guy-ness doesn't work on him" IS SO FUNNY

also cas looks FUCKEd

ohGOD HE LOOKS F U C K ED

ah way back when things weren't horrible and not disillusioned

LITTLE NERDY DUDE WITH WINGS OH MY GOD

the fucking trench coat

did they steal a car off screen lmao?

THOSE MOVIES HAVEN'T EVEN COME OUT YET LMAO

Dean please chill

oh this is gonna be fun

THE LITTLE GLANCE AT MARY NO THAT WAS SO GOOD

"you look familiar" *Dean and Mary exchange a panicked look*

oH MYGOD

Sam is not taking this well

Sam and Dean, Sam and Deanna

Sam is just staring at his mom :(

oh sHIT HE NEVER RLY GOT TO MEET HER

Dean DESPERATELY TRYING TO BACKPEDAL

Dean you little shit

HearT Attack Huh Mary

I LIKE MARY AND DEAN'S LITTLE FACE OFFS THEY'RE FUN

ANNA! SHE CAN DO VOICES?

the little half smile before he says "not exactly"

shit..SHIT HE'S GONE UH OH

she'S SO SHORT COMPARED TO THEM

MR WOODSEN IS FUCKING DEAD THE ANGELS GOT HIM

the like...half power, but half not is COOL

were times tough? was it Anna projecting?

"you too Dean" HER VOICE SHOOK :(

KNIFE FIGHT MARY KNIFE FIGHT M A R Y

tHAY BLOODY SHOT WAS COOL

B L O O D S I G I L

oh good time to explain it to John he's gonna take it well

THE IMPALA

"OR SO HELP ME I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND" IT'S THE MOST DAD THING HE'S EVER SAID

AWKWARD FAMILY ROAD TRIP

Dean explaining hunter things to his dad has to be fucking weird

Well...John doesn't seem like an ass, he wants to help

just cuts his hand ok then

"how big"

"you remind me of my dad" HE LOOKS SO FUCKING SAD

he's also so much more subdued

"my dad raised me in it"

John: proceeds to trash talk himself for like...a whole minute

"your father was supposed to protect you" SPOKEN BY THEIR FATHER IS

fuck it I'm tearing up

"I get it" Sam and John are super similar ok I see you

HE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER, HE COULD HAVE BEEN LIKE BOBBY FUCKING CHRIST SAM

no what happened is that John made Mary this martyr that didn't exist, this exalted thing

HE COULD HAVE BEEN MORE PRODUCTIVE

"I understand" SAM I S W E A R TO FUCKING G O D

OH THIS IS YONG URIEL

"I'm still your superior" ooo?

"They will kill you uriel" THAT WAS YOU AND CAS

"you're just gonna have to trust me" D E A N

"i'm your son" oh my god Dean

oh this.scene.

I'm crying again

"I raised my kids to be hunters, I did that to you?" aofs'

yeah I'm like...actively crying fuck me

that date is...burned into his brain isn't it

god Mary's reaction of "no not this, not again" oh my god no no no no I'm crying

This is not hyperbole I was actually sobbing

"leave John" IS YOUR PLAN

Sam...

"you can't have that normal life" oh Sam :(

'your children will be cursed' jesus Christ

oh god she's pregnant that's why she reacted like that

shit both of them

I cannot see ANYTHING

SAM GOT IMPALED?

JOHN IS?///DEAD??

MICHAEL POSSESSED JOHN??

IS ANNA DEAD FOR REAL? WHAT THE FUCk?

bloodline, like novak

CAIN AND FUCKING ABEL

THEY DIDN'T EVEN CAST A B E -

"well get some therapy pal" dean...dean you can't say that it just looks funny if you say that

"I practically raised him" oof

"you're gonna do whatever god says' "yes because I am a good son" OHHHHHHHHHH

Dean: that is a dead end street

holY SHIT GET FUCKED

"I got to believe I choose what I do with my unimportant little life" HOYLS HIT YHES

SMACK HIM WITH THE DESTINY HAMMER

you...planned it..oh my god

free will's an illusion NOT IF CAS HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT

ah he scrubs their minds so she can't remember

ah fuck he's failed this plan twice now it's gotta HURT

the arranging the jacket was so fucking sinister

"you made it" "I did? I'm very surprised"

I love him

TEAM FREE WILL!

"one ex blood junkie, one dropout with 6 bucks to his name and mr. comatose over there"

"i'm not laughing"

you guys fucking suck at making objective decisions

thE FUCKING ANGEL THING

" i can't even put my finger on why I like it" I hate this

"angels are watching over you" I'm going to eat glass I love the glass it's so crunchy

1. hunting. FUCKING- BOTH OF THEIR PARENTS WERE LIKE "HeY whoever got you into hunting probably fucked both of you up" AND THEY'RE LIKE NAH It'S FINE. THIS IS THE SAME ENERGY AS LIKE...several people staging an intervention and you still not getting it. Young!John is great! He's rightfully concerned! Mary is badass! with knife fight

2. free will. The EXPLICIT free will vs destiny thing, the basically dragging free will into existence despite everyone telling you that's not how it goes, the subtle reinforcement with the angels at the beginning, Michael coming into the bloodline, the whole thing with hunting, how they still ended up hunters it's just. Fuck me.

3. Sam's giving up, that's not good. Like you can see it in the "I forgive my dad," you can see it in the "just give up, I don't want to exist anymore" thing. Like...he's tired of fighting, he wants it to stop? I think is what I'm getting.

4. I FUCKING LOVE CASTIEL. He doesn't get the pop cultural references, just kinda does HORRIBLY bad shit that's bad for him, and in the end just kinda is Out of It. I love him. He makes every scene he's in better. Also I'm seeing the more...Sam thing? like I see potential, and they're both the Weird Kids of their crowds?

5. I like the sets. Like the art direction for the sets was nice, and the costuming felt especially on point this episode? Like they changed Anna's look a lil, and I thought it worked really well.

6. ANNA. She seemed so remorseful, and she had this whole thing going on, and she was still their superior and she was great. Also, she's trying to execute free will too! like it's in an entirely different manner than Sam and Dean's but still? This better not be her last appearance.

It FUCKING IS? I HATE THIS WHAT THE HELL

7. For posterity, that scene where they're talking to their mom and Dean just kinda...breaks down instantly and says "you're my mom" and both of them say "leave our dad, no more existence," and the "I'm pregnant" and the "I raised you to be hunters, I did that to you?" and the "no john did." fucking broke me. Like so much pain is happening there and it broke me