#but yeah a set like that is probably about a dollar if you get em straight from where theyre made

[just-spacetrash]

😦

[brick-by-dumbass-brick]

Rewatching season 1 of Arcane and I realized that Vi is fresh out of prison and obviously doesn’t have a dollar to her name.

So either Caitlyn payed for her food at Jericho’s (which I’m doubting bc why tf would she if she’s so dead set on getting info and nothing else and only met Vi a few hours ago) or Jericho was just happy to see Vi and gave her a free meal, which I like the idea of.

It’s nice to see that people like Jericho and Babs are friendly with Vi, enough by give her a free meal and free info. It makes me happy that (at least in season 1) there are people from the Undercity who are still friendly with Vi/ have her back.

Minus Silco and all the bullshit he did within, the Undercity is still a tight-knit group of people who really only have each other. Yeah, a handful of em’ are scummy and bad people, but you can find plenty of people who are probably worse in Piltover or any other city anywhere else in their world. It’s just nice to think about how these people are loyal to each other like that

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 2)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her. Right?

Chapt. Setting: preTWD (3 years before the first chapter), some strip club in podunk Georgia

Chapt. Warnings: degrading and sexist language, preTWD Daryl, implied/referenced drugs/drug use, strip club?, sexual themes

Word count: 1900

masterlist

A/N; Daryl’s POV story. Sorry ‘bout it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 17+ mdni

I don’t know why I believe Merle when he tells me we’ll only be here 10 minutes. “In and out, little brother. You know we got things to do.” He says it like I’m the one that’s gonna wanna stay longer. I roll my eyes but don’t say anything. And get out of my truck that I let him fuckin’ drive. Whatever. 

Lighting another cigarette, and kickin’ my feet, I start walkin’ toward the building. 10 minutes, huh? 10 minutes is 10 minutes too fuckin’ long at this shitty titty. Don’t even believe that Merle believes we’ll only be here 10 minutes. 

I  hate places like this, but especially fuckin’ this one. Nuzzled right smack fuck next to the only highway in the middle of the fuckin boonies. And it wasn’t like it was the only strip club around neither. Real classy joint not even a mile away, can’t even smoke in that one. Maybe that’s why I never been. 

This place? It ain’t even a strip club really. Just a dive bar with a little fuckin’ stage on one wall and some booths in the back. All of it looking like it was held together by strings of Christmas lights. Yeah. Really. 

I don’t know personally, but Merle said the lap-dance booths are old fuckin’ church pews. Talk about getting on your knees and praying, right? Naw, the place we’re walkin’ into has a reputation, even for us, it’s a real dive. A real fuckin hole on the wall. 

I walk in and Merle’s already sittin’ down at the bar. No bouncer, never is. Not at this fuckin’ place. 

Merle says he’s gotta meet up with some guy he’s never met before for his ice. I hate doin’ this shit. But this is what we’re doin’, where we’re at. 

Some tough guy named Beatle, that’s who I thought we were meetin’. Hell, maybe Merle did too. But as I take my seat I hear it in a girls voice, right fuckin’ behind me. “Hey, I’m Beatle.” Too happy, way too fuckin’ happy for this fuckin’ place. But, I guess, not hard to be happy when you’re all junked up on spazz shit. 

Tsch. I already know exactly how this shit’s gonna go. “Well, holy hell didn’t know we was meetin’ a lady!” Merle swings around and damn near breaks his neck gettin’ a look at this girl. “And a damn pretty one at that.”

I don’t look behind me to check, but I truly fuckin’ doubt it. Merle’s blowin’ smoke or he’s already fuckin’ high. No girl that works here is actually pretty. Not even hot. Not even fuckin’ fuckable. Usually, not even for Merle. I zone ‘em out but soon she’s takin’ him back to the booth’s and I catch a glimpse of her right before they disappear behind the curtain. 

Only saw her for a second but long enough to know she actually wasn’t bad lookin’. And young. Way too young and pretty to be here, that’s for damn sure. Made me feel more sick about the whole thing. Not that I felt sorry for her or nothin’. Just some dumb little girl too stupid to not do shit like this.

Whatever. The bartender asks me what I’m drinking. Whiskey. Like usual. The bartenders a chick too. Any of these dudes feel like roughin’ up any of these girls and they can. Nah, no bouncer, no male bartender, not even a fuckin’ shotgun above the bar just to let ‘em know. 

Fuck this fuckin’ place. 

After a minute Merle and fuckin’ ‘Beatle’? Tsch, what the fuck ever.  - come barreling out of the booths. Laughin’. Merle’s arm around her naked waist like they’re on their fuckin’ honeymoon. 

In this kinda place you don’t have to go to the back to do a little drug deal. Hell, seen ‘em happen right on the bar. She probably just wanted the extra 15 dollars she gets when she takes some loser back there.

I stand up, we’re done here. Merle got his stuff. I finish my drink, and I’m ready to leave. Feeling the disgusting damp air soakin’ through my clothes. But Merle and Beatle sit down and order shots. 

10 fuckin’ minutes, huh? 

They’re talkin’ business. Well, Merle’s trying to and this girl just won’t shut the fuck up. “Yeah, yeah. I can hook you up sometimes, just gotta go down to the city. My guy gets weird when I try to get bigger amounts so if you’re going to want it a lot, stay wanting it a lot.” Jesus, does she think she’s making sense? Maybe she is. Damnit. Can’t fuckin’ concentrate with the speaker right next to me. Or maybe it’s just the pitch of her fucking voice. It’s makin’ my head hurt. 

 She’s talkin’ - some story about her guy being so paranoid he cut up all the wires in his walls. Stupid fuckin’ bitch needs a new guy, doesn’t even care she’s putting herself in danger. Why would she? She works fuckin’ here. Don’t care about how much danger she’s in or isn’t in… but hearing about it? I finally cut in to their ‘conversation’, “You think a man half losin’ his mind is funny?” 

“Yeah, kinda. Not my fault he can’t handle his shit.” She says it back like she ain’t even phased. Like she don’t even understand ‘m talkin’ about her own well-being. Like her own safety wasn’t even a fuckin’ consideration. Dumb fuckin’ bitch. 

I shake my head at her and pull out another cigarette. Smokin’ one after another. You gotta in a place like this.  She whispers to Merle “Who’s that?” Wow, her voice does get quieter. I shake my head and laugh to myself. 

Merle had been too invested in his new prize to even introduce me. “Oh, that’s my little brother, Daryl!” His voice hoarse and jovial. I brace for it, Merle pulling me half off my barstool. Squishing my face in his hand like I’m some fuckin’ little kid. I go to push him off but she says, “He‘s cute.” And I open my eyes to see her happy fuckin’ face. All glittery and done up and stupid. She really was pretty. Real fuckin shame. 

Merle huffs and I’m pushed back in my seat.  Never likin’ the attention on anyone but him. “He ain’t nothin’. Doesn’t know how to treat a lady.” 

Like I’d want ‘er. 

This goes on for another 20 fuckin’ minutes until Merle gets up to go to the bathroom. ‘Beatle’ immediately takes his seat, getting all personal with me like she’d been with Merle. Too close. Without asking if she could even sit there. Just fuckin’ assuming any dude would want her. And her voice grates again, closer this time. “Hi, I’m Beatle.” Christ, I bet she ain’t even got two brain cells left. 

I laugh at her, “Yeah, got that.” Shaking my head, blowing out smoke, not looking at her as I try not to laugh harder. 

“Right…” she says, sighing. She’s lookin’ down at her hands all awkwardly. As if I just put her down. Scolded her. Actin’ like a nervous fuckin’ dog all of a sudden. 

She plays with her fingers, chews on her lip, looking all around the room ‘cept at me. It was like a fuckin’ display of awkwardness. Fake as shit. Just pretendin’ to be uncomfortable. 

Her eyes finally land at her drink, which she happily fuckin’ takes and starts chugging it. Like a good drunk bitch would. And I watch. As she leans back to grab her glass, exposing her bare chest, her bikini top sort of pushed on haphazardly over her breasts. Like she’d just ripped it down and didn’t mess with it at all, just made sure her nipples were covered. I start wondering what color her nipples are when she yells out, like everyone wants to fuckin’ hear her, “Shit! It’s my turn!” 

Her hooker heels clopping to the stage. So fuckin’ unattractive. Just when the whiskey was starting to let me enjoy somethin’ about ‘er. 

Don’t have to wait long to find out what color her nipples are. Just one song. 3 minutes and 55 seconds. The fact that she dances to Zeppelin just makes me hate her more. Typical, but not bad or nothin’. Not annoying like what I’d figured a stripper named fuckin’ Beatle would dance to. Fuckin’ shame she was. 

I’m almost enjoyin’ watchin’ her, from the mirror on the back wall that faced the stage, until Merle walks outta the bathroom. Until Merle sees Beatle on stage. 

Already knowin’ exactly how this shit is gonna go. 

I put my head down right before Merle’s hootin’ and hollerin’ like he’s lookin at the virgin fuckin’ birth. Arms all outstretched like he’s welcoming the baby fuckin’ Jesus. And shit if that didn’t actually make me laugh. 

Lookin’ back in the mirror I see Beatle and remember she’s only dancin’ ten feet to my left. And maybe I can’t help myself because I look over.  

Beatle on her knees. One hand in her hair and the other on the pole between her legs, her hips rolling over and over like she’s riding a fuckin’ dick. Can’t take my eyes off ‘er at first. Eyes closed, mouth half open - taking her hand out of her hair to bring her thumb to her teeth. Biting on it as she rolls her head down. And she opens her eyes and looks right at me. 

I turn around and light another smoke.  Trying to pretend that I didn’t fuckin’ see that. That whatever the fuck she was doing on that stage wasn’t as intimate as it fuckin’ was. Even for a strip club, it felt like too much. Even before she looked at me. Showing people too damn much of herself. I bet that’s exactly what she looks when she rides a cock. 

Not mine. Nah, I’d have her face contortin’ somethin’ different. Tsch. 

Merle comes back to his seat when Beatle walks off stage. Both of ‘em coming down to bring the party back right where it didn’t belong. 

Beatle’s voice only gets more annoying and it’s giving me a damn headache. No patience left in me I pull on Merle “Thought you said we have shit to do.” 

“Plans change, little brother.” 

“Not mine. I don’t wanna be here.” 

“Aw, but Beatle likes you. Don’t ya, Beatle?” Her eyes lighting up like it’s fuckin’ Christmas. 

“Yeah, Daryl, come on! Stay! We’re havin’ fun!” Walking over and throwing her arms around me like she’s never had someone tell her no in her whole damn life. 

“Naw, I’m goin.” Standing up, shoving her off me. And she gives me that look again. Like a beat fuckin’ puppy. Whispering sorry under her hand like she actually feels bad or somethin’. 

I tell Merle to hurry up before throwin’ some cash on the bar and getting the fuck out of there. Waitin’ for Merle in the parkin’ lot. More pissed off than when we got here. Like I knew I was gonna be. 

Merle stumbles out a coupl’a minutes later, “Damn, what you have to go and do that for? Actually hurt her damn feelings.”

“She don’t got ‘em, Merle. She’s tweaked out of her head. She’s fuckin’ fine.” Sayin’ it harsher than I mean to. Always fuckin’ do. 

But I’m right, ain’t I? Frying her fuckin’ neurons on anything she can get don’t she? “Dopamine Barbie doesn’t need feel good shit from me.” 

She don’t matter anyway. Just some stripper bitch Merle was gonna be obsessed with. Cuz she sold him some drugs and she’s got a nice rack that she’s willing to show him for some ones. 

I tell Merle next time I’m not comin’ with.

pt 3 

[seeminglydark]

i can't remember if you've answered this before (i feel like you probably have but i don't really know how to check): how does Johnny break in his boots? or does he just wear the shit out of them until they're broken in on their own?

I have not! so as a kid i think he would have worn the shit out of them until they broke in on their own or used the hammer towel method (hope you got a lot of heel bandaids available johnny boy!) though to be honest, i have these art pieces where hes a teen wearing docs, and im really not sure how he'd canonically even get a pair of docs, you know chief o'sullivan would never have bought him 100+ dollar boots so thats either a gift from Caro, friends, or not canon. truthfully he'd probably have worn general issue black combat boots he got at the local thrift store in his teens.

older john would be aware there are easier ways to break in a pair of leather boots without killing your feet completely, he'd resort to the tried and true way condition your leather and wear double thick socks, and occasionally apply gentle heat (hair dryer method) or toss em in the freezer.

i guess heres another Punk Rock Fact for you-

its best to wear 2 layers of thick socks, your docs /boots should be a bit snug when you buy them, cuz leather stretches and they will end up too loose if you size up (this is also why its not always great to buy leather shoes or boots from the thrift, theyve already molded to other peoples feet and can hurt and fit you very wrong!)! two socks helps protect your feets and push against the boots.

wear them around the house for a few days with your double socks to loosen up the leather, take em off when it starts hurting and extend the time every day. stuff newspaper in em when youre not wearing them if you want to help them maintain stretch. keep those bandaids and heel blister plasters close by.

so the two ways to make it happen a little bit fast is heat or cold. so for heat what you wanna do is get some leather balm (hate to shill a product but doc martens wonderbalm is actually super nice. mink oil works too.) set that aside and put on your biggest fattest socks or double layer, throw your boots on and lace em up real tight. yeah its not gonna feel good. thats ok, youll live probably. now take a hair dryer on its lowest setting and VERY GENTLY and not too close to your boot, heat all the surfaces with it for about 30 seconds per spot (but continuously move the hair dryer). dont do this for to long and only do it once or twice, you dont wanna damage the glue but the heat will help the leather become more supple and stretch faster. leave the boots and and walk around your house again, stretching them out, bending your feet, stand on your tiptoes etc. after they cool, apply the wonderbalm as per instruction to protect the leather.

and finally the freezer method, i use this mostly if my leather shoes or boots are a bit too snug still. fill a heavy duty ziplock bag about halfway with water and make sure its sealed really tight with no air inside. stick the bag in your boots, trust me on this, and throw em in the freezer over night. SCIENCE IS FUN ice expands, take em out the next day and let em defrost and voila. the leather has stretched and softened because of the expanding ice.

basically, take care of your leather! lots of conditioner and wear them gently. if you've got your own tried or true methods, let me know, im old and this is what ive always done, so id love to learn new ways!

[ltbarnes]

Resurrection Chapter 5

Summary: Bucky Barnes was only nineteen when the lives of his parents and little sister were taken right in front of him by the ruthless members of the Odinson mob. His father’s mistakes have turned Bucky into a vengeful and cold shell of the charming boy he once was, now deeply rooted in the criminal lifestyle of the Stark mafia. Sudden attacks ignite the conflict between the two forces of the city, refueling the rivalry that has been rather tame for years. Nine years since Bucky’s life fell apart, he finds it shattering once more when what was supposed to be long dead returns to the living.

Pairing: brother!mafia!Bucky Barnes x adopted!sister!reader, mafia!Thor Odinson x reader, mafia!Loki Odinson x reader, eventual Steve Rogers x reader

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: irritated men in traffic, Bucky is absolutely devastated, guns, people being shot, violence

A/N: it’s been a while since I updated this lol

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Fuck!"

Sam slams his hand against the horn for the third time since they left the old factory. He knows it's not helping anything, because this traffic jam is not dissolving anytime soon. It's just frustration being let out in a way that doesn't involve hurting people.

Forty minutes—that's how long they've been crawling forward in the midst of hundreds of cars driving. Both his and T'Challa's phones are dead and they are four hours away from where they want to be.

"The clouds are dark. It will be storming soon," T'Challa speaks up, elbow leaning against the window and his chin leaning against his palm.

"No shit, Sherlock. They've been warning about this fucking storm for a week."

"No need for that kind of language, Wilson. We are both frustrated, I am aware," he answers. "I also know that we have to let the others know about what we heard."

"Bucky and Stark are probably on their way to murder all of 'em already. But I can't say I blame them."

"It would be a waste of life. The Odinsons weren't the one to sabotage for us. And if I might say—Thor and Loki are both respectful towards the young girl. Treat her like a sister."

"Yeah, and we didn't blow up a goddamn garage either. Someone is setting both of us up."

Large raindrops begin to splatter down onto the windshield, slowly, until they fall so rapidly nothing can be seen through it. Sam sighs in defeat, slumping in his seat. They're not getting anywhere soon, and bad things are going to happen because of it.

It's crucial that they know about the Odinsons and their innocence, at least in this case. No one is denying that they are morally disturbed people and that they have sabotaged millions of dollars worth of property for the Starks, but this warehouse wasn't blown up by them. And the Starks had nothing to do with their destroyed garage.

Someone is trying to cause conflict between the two clans, start the war that has been brewing for a long time. But quite frankly, Stark has made it perfectly clear that he has no interest in a thing like that. But ultimately, soon it might get to a point where it's inevitable. This information could prevent a hell of a lot of people dying in unnecessary battle.

"Do you think it's those guys—what was their name again? The ones who had Bucky?" Sam asks, resting his hand on the wheel while pressing the back of his head against the seat.

"Hydra? Well, yes, I believe so. It would be the most plausible option," T'Challa answers, eyes set on the never ending queue in front of them.

Unfortunately, they are completely jammed in. Cars surround them from all sides. Sam has a thought or two of ripping someone's car door open and stealing their phone so he can call someone back home. T'Challa would have him face down on the wet asphalt before he could do anything like it, though.

He thinks about Bucky. That goddamn misery on his face, the excruciating realization that someone he thought was dead for a decade has suddenly turned up as if she was never gone. Even through all of the shit they give each other, Bucky is his friend. Shit like this—it's a pain he could never even imagine. If Sam's big sister was shot right in front of him and held captive for this many years, he would burn down the entire world to get her back. He understand that more than anyone.

And god, he barely wants to think about what you could have been put through during all of these years. These big men getting their hands on a little girl associated with the enemy. It's nauseating. But you looked comfortable—joked with these men as if they were your siblings.

Deep down, Sam has a feeling that they actually took care of you, kept you away from harm and shown you the kindness that a young girl deserves. You looked safe from harm and healthy, comfortable enough to talk about personal issues with three grown men. But despite if this is the true version, it could never justify shooting and kidnapping a goddamn child. Their bullets tore through your mother, their hands put your father's body in the river. Their men made you almost bleed out right in front of your brother. That kind of shit isn't just forgiven, even in the world Sam lives in. Especially not in the world Sam lives in.

Yeah, Sam is fucking pissed off on that entire system of assholes both for his own and Bucky's sake. But they sure didn't blow up that Stark warehouse. If he's right, both the Odinsons and the Starks have a much larger enemy to defeat than each other. Hydra is back, and they might be more dangerous than they previously thought.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

It's chaos at the compound.

Bucky and Natasha arrived to the news of Rhodes being shot while out taking a fucking walk. They came with the gift of his little sister being alive and captured by the Odinsons. Daring to say that the two of them didn't really hear anything because Bucky had a panic attack before they found anything out is not in his blood. Instead, the excuse of these news being urgent is explanation enough for Stark. Besides, Sam and T'Challa will be here soon.

These feelings are dangerous, he knows. The ones where he can barely see anything through the blind rage. His limbs are restless, longing for a windpipe to crush underneath the strength of his hand. He always does something reckless to jeapordize the mission whenever he feels like this.

He's still standing in the lobby, watching all the people run back and forth, up and down the stairs. Shoulders bump into his side, sending him stumbling while blinking furiously. What was he supposed to do now again?

The rage quickly manifests into tears. Slipping down slowly on his cheeks, falling to the shiny floor with a quiet drop. Bucky is overwhelmed by it all and doesn't know what to do except stand there surrounded by the people who can take action in a time of distress.

"Hey, come with me," a soft voice whispers with a hand to his shoulder. He doesn't even flinch, bring out the aversion to touch his body so naturally has developed through the years.

Thinking too much about wether or not to follow the orders is beyond him, and he follows along with the gentle guidance of Natasha until the large lobby becomes a smaller kitchen. Away from the bustling and running, the people.

A chair is pulled out, placed underneath Bucky with her hand pushing him down to a seat. It's ridiculously rare that Natasha shows this level of care and attention with him. They have a relationship of pushing each other into walls while walking and shutting the fuck up unless they have something important to say. Part of why he likes her—she doesn't expect anything from him.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you know? You are allowed to cry. You're allowed to be angry and want to cut them up to fucking pieces for what they have done to you," she says, standing in front of him with a hand on his shoulder, looking up through her lashes. "We will get revenge. But you have to get yourself together first. We'll go tonight so you'll have a few hours to sort through things."

"Y/n is..." Bucky's gaze is unfocused, blue eyes clouded by confusion and unshed tears. "My sister—"

"Y/n is fine right now. We will get her back. I swear to you on Yelena's fucking vest that I will do everything in my power to get that girl back to you safe."

Bucky blinks away the haze until his lips manage to quirk up just slightly. He knows how serious it is when Yelena's vest comes into question. Nat's sister would throw herself into fire if it meant getting her vest back unscathed.

"I just—I think I need to be alone," he whispers, swallowing the onslaught of tears wanting to claw their way out of him.

"Yeah, okay. Of course. I'll talk to the guys and fill them in, get a few of them ready to come with us. Need to track the bastards down too."

Bucky nods, wiping underneath his nose with the sleeve of his jacket. He hasn't even thought of the fact that they don't know where you and the Odinsons are.

Natasha leaves the room after a single pat to his shoulder. One that's rid of sentimentality but shows she cares nonetheless. Bucky is glad that he at least have someone to be rational for him in these moments, because he's entirely and completely lost.

He doesn't really know how to feel. About four hours have passed since he saw your face again. It's a constant battle of anger and resentment against elation, interrupted by these horrible waves of simple sadness. He's just sad.

Bucky missed so many years of your life because of those people. He could have taken care of you—bought the two of you a small house somewhere outside of the city and maybe get a dog for you to play with. Take you to dance recitals and help you with math tests and yell at you for sneaking out to be with your friends. Things a big brother to someone with no parents left should do for his little sister. Instead he has wasted five years being reckless in the military and one year in captivity, just to spend another three years being reckless in a fucking mob. Countless people have died under his hand, triple the amount tortured and threatened. You would be so disappointed to know what he has been up to—your Jamie (he always acted like he hated that nickname) that you looked up to so much has gone ahead and ruined his own fucking life.

And his mom—he prays that there isn't a heaven where she's looking down at him if only it could save her from knowing what he's done. Her little baby girl shot, kidnapped and held captive for almost half of her life. Her only son throwing away all that potential in the aftermaths of his grief. When it comes to what his father thinks of him, he's never cared particularly much. Bucky knew George was a scumbag since he was a little boy and were much happier whenever his dad wasn't around. He made it his mission to protect you and his ma from the unsteady temper of Mr. Barnes already as a twelve-year old.

But would he care? George was never happy about his wife's wish for another child, prolonged for so many years that she grew too old for another one biologically. After a year of persuasion he caved in and let his wife take in a parent-less baby that desperately needed someone to take care of her. It wasn't enough that George didn't want another kid to begin with—he loathed the idea of a daughter.

His aversion towards you was clear from the beginning, but Bucky still wonders if he would have cared that you've been kidnapped for so long by the enemy if he was still alive. Maybe to keep up appearances, he would grieve publicly. But any effort to retrieve you behind the scenes would be half-assed at most. He was a coward, and daring to cross the Odinsons would be too much for him. Bucky doesn't know all this for sure, but it makes him hate his dead father even more. He hopes you didn't feel the absence of his father's love, that the affection he and your mother showed was enough to make up for it.

The kitchen chair he sits on is uncomfortable. Expensive designer furniture or not, Tony has a horrible knack for choosing style over comfort. It makes Bucky mad. And then it reminds him that some people like the uncomfortable. Steve, for example. That punk has been throwing himself at fists and boots to the stomach ever since he was a kid. But Steve is his best friend and god, he should really call him. Steve should know about you. He has been Bucky's rock through all of it—he was there when it happened, for god's sake.

Yes, Steve has a right to know about your being alive and all that. But that does not make Bucky pick up the phone and call the guy. Speaking it out loud like this, to someone on the outside of it all, feels too real. It solidifies the fact that he has failed you spectacularly for nearly a decade and Steve is going to know that. He might not ever say it, but he is going to be disappointed and angry with Bucky for never trying harder to find your body.

So no, today might not be the right time. He is going to get you back tonight, settle himself down into the reality of your return and then he will tell Steve. No excuses.

Almost an hour passes by before someone else enters the kitchen to the sight of him having his head leaning against the palms of his hands, elbows planted on the marble kitchen island, staring into the intricate pattern of the stone counter. The clock strikes 16:55 as Bucky raises his gaze for just a second to check whoever's bothering his peace.

"Hi, uh, hello—Bucky. Mr. Barnes," Peter stutters as he moves slowly towards the refrigerator.

Parker is a relatively new recruit. Mostly assists Stark with a bunch of bullshit tasks, but that's how you prove yourself loyal. And despite the impossibility of it, the boss seems to have a soft spot for this kid. He's what? 20, 21? It's the youngest they have in the immediate circle.

"I heard about your sister. I'm sorry about that. Hope—I really hope you get her back. Safe," he continues, eyes everywhere but on the stone-faced Bucky. "Actually, Mr. Stark said I might get to drive everyone to the restaurant. Be the getaway driver, you know?"

"Restaurant?"

Bucky perks up from his slumped figure, now entirely focused on the flushed kid with his hand around the fridge handle. Might rip it off soon if he doesn't relax—he's much too nervous around everyone to appear tough.

"Uh, yeah—apparently they're going to be at some restaurant at like, seven. Snowflake, or Frosty or something like that. Never heard of it."

The chair scrapes against the floor as Bucky pushes away from the counter. Not a glance, a goodbye, or a thank you even, comes from his mouth before he barges out of the kitchen.

He bumps into Pietro on his way up the stairs, a mumbled 'sorry' from his lips as the silver-haired man follows his hasty figure with a curious stare. The news have spread around the house by now, but Natasha threatened everyone with a good beating if they bothered Bucky. Those instructions did not reach Peter.

The Bifrost. Surely that must've been the restaurant the kid was talking about. A popular one, but if people in this city knew who it actually belonged to their costumers would scatter. Now that he knows where you're going to be he has a hard time restraining himself from jumping into the car and driving away with only a handgun and two knives to accompany him. But he knows Natasha was right.

Voices and laughter sound from the medical room down the hall. Rhodey seems to have drawn half of the people in this house to him, seeing as some even stand in the hallway due to lack of space. Surely he can't already be awake.

It grows quiet as Bucky pushes himself forward, earning an offended scoff from Yelena as she trips over her own feet. Bucky steadies her with his arm without even sparing her a glance.

To his surprise, Rhodes lies awake, though groggy, hooked up to a heart monitor and IV. He looks fucking exhausted, but there's still a smile to his face.

"You doing alright?" Bucky mumbles, casting a stoic glance around the people surrounding him. It's clear he's the elephant in the room, despite the half-dead man at the center of it.

"Never better," Rhodey answers with a thumb's up. Looped up, that's for sure.

Bucky gives a single nod in answer, crossing his arms over his chest. He may act all unbothered, stoic even, but he's glad Rhodes is okay. He's been a good man to him so far, smart, rational. They need him on this team, mostly to keep Tony grounded.

"Good. Good," he whispers before gulping, glancing down to the floor.

He can almost feel the sympathetic looks everyone gives him. Bucky hates it, but somewhere he knows it's because they care.

"Right. We should get back to business," Nat says, nodding towards the door. "Need to know which ones are coming with tonight. Thinking we'll go through it now."

Several people shuffle out of the sterile room into the dark hallway, leaving Tony, Pepper and Happy left with Rhodes. The latter probably won't notice the sudden clearing of space with how much morphine he's on.

Red hair leads the way towards a meeting room on the other side of the upper level. An oversized table stretches out from wall to wall lined with bookshelves of unread books, surrounded by thirty ridiculously expensive oak chairs. Tony made it a point to explain how much he sacrifices for everyone's best, when everyone knows he just likes to splurge.

Bucky nearly, almost, feels emotional when he sees how many sit themselves down to help him rescue his sister. A person they don't even know, simply because of how much you mean to him.

Yelena, Nat, Pietro, Wanda, Coulson, Shuri, Vision, Marc, Maria, Brock. All these people care enough about Bucky to care about you. He knows Sam and T'Challa would be here too if they weren't so goddamn slow. Bird-brain probably stopped for some fucking iced coffee and got stuck in a Target. Apparently haven't answered any of Nat's texts or calls either. Better be goddamn alive.

Okoye and Carol are out trying to figure out who the hell shot one of their own. Bucky feels bad that he's taking away manpower from that, even though he simultaneously wants to gather every damn person in the world willing to fight for his sister. This is the most important thing for Bucky, ever.

"So, Bifrost, huh? Gonna be easy to get in. Never have much security," Shuri says as soon as everyone's seated.

"We don't know that. My source tells me the whole inner circle's going tonight," Nat answers. "We have to gear up either way. Be prepared."

Bucky soon zones out, only listening when any mention of an actual plan comes up. The image of your arms wrapped around yourself, tears wetting your cheeks, displays at the forefront of his mind in a constant loop. That you might've had that expression every day destroys him. This life that he leads—if he knew you were alive he would have kept you as far away from it as possible. It's not something you should grow up with. He and his ma shielded you from a lot when you were a child, to the point where you didn't even have a clue about what your father did.

All of that effort seems pretty pointless now, when you've grown up in an environment even worse. Hell, Bucky can't offer you much better. But at least you will be loved. Protected. God, Bucky would spend the rest of his life by your side if you needed him to. Maybe he could convince Tony to get you into some prestigeful university so you could get a good education and make something of yourself. Take you and Steve to Coney Island on the weekends.

"Yes, yes. Natasha, you have gone over this three times. We understand," Shuri says, interrupting his deep train of thought with her irritated exclamation. She hasn't really inherited the near royal politeness her brother possesses. "Now, where the hell is my brother? Four hours late."

"That голубь probably crashed the car, I swear," Yelena says, an amused grin playing on her lips.

"It's a rainstorm outside and 5 pm traffic. They're probably just stuck. Phone battery dead," Nat says. "They'll be back soon."

"I suppose we are to get ready soon if we are leaving in twenty minutes." Vision leans forward in his seat, searching for Nat's eye contact. She answers with a nod, pushing her chair out from the table.

"Coulson and Hill, you go fetch the kid and make him warm up the cars. Visit the arsenal while you're at it, too."

"Yes, ma'am," Coulson says with that familiar content smile on his lips.

People start to trickle out, cleaning their knives and stretching their limbs in preparation. Things could be easier than expected or end up in straight war, but they throw themselves at the opportunity anyway. This is family, by now.

"I'll go with Hill and Coulson," Brock speaks up for the first time during the meeting with a few fingers raised nonchalantly, as if he's asking a question in the classroom.

Bucky has to resist from rolling his eyes. He's never really gone along well with Rumlow. Sure, everyone in this damn mansion has a predisposition for violence but that man just thrives in it. Always smiles a little too much while plunging a knife into someone's neck. Narcissistic bastard, as well. Of course he wants to handle the weapons. Probably just coming along for the opportunity to shoot an Odinson in the head.

"Why are you telling me?" Nat answers with a glare. "Just go."

When it's just him and her left in the room, a quietness falls over the space that is suffocating him. He's anxious beyond compare. What if they don't succeed? If you're left there while your only potential rescuers get shot to death or captured themselves? Things can't go wrong tonight.

"You gonna be okay?" Nat asks from where she's sitting on the other side of the table. "If you think it's too much, we can do it without y—"

"No. Not a chance in hell," he seethes. "I'm going to get my sister back."

"Well, okay then. Let's go."

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

It's 7:30 PM when three sleek, black cars pull up outside of the coveted, Odinson-owned restaurant. The windscreens are dark enough for the security guards standing in the entrance to not see through. When they do see, it's too late to send warnings inside to their bosses.

Bloody knuckles and knocked out men instead lie just outside of the lavish doors, courtesy of one Brock Rumlow with the assistance of Marc Spector. Yelena whines about them not leaving anyone left for her. Natasha scolds her for the lack of patience. Bucky just stares through the darkened glass doors while bringing out his gun.

These are the last moments of his life where he can still wonder about what having you in his life again will be. In an hour he will either be dead or you will sit next to him in a car. You might not recognize him, might be scared, might hate him for leaving you here all these years. But goddamn it, if he isn't going to give it his all to get the both of you out of this restaurant alive.

A firm hand lands on his shoulder, squeezing in silent affirmation. Bucky's act of indifference is fooling no one. Not even the kid who drove the car all the way here.

"It'll be alright," Vision says.

And Bucky nods, because even if his fear tells him otherwise he knows you will no longer be stuck. In his very bones.

Maria pushes forward after Pietro gives her the okay—he's surveyed the perimeters. Everyone is gathered inside. She turns her head over her shoulder, hands grasped around her gun. The sound of weapons being loaded reminds Bucky of a falling domino.

"Alright, guys. Enter in three, two, one..."

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

CHAPTER 6

[talltoontales]

~ Friggin Friday ~

[Story 32]

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Prompt: You've been transported to a 2000's live-action Disney movie & your only key to getting is by making the MC's dreams unobtainable through any means necessary. Prompt By: r/wingman66 (Reddit) Started Writing: 07/09/2024

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Word of advice: never buy a TV from a witch's garage sale.

Because I've been in this Chinese restaurant since eleven in the morning, downing fortune cookies like cheap shots, looking like an absolute maniac! But the only way outta this C-tier movie is to keep Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan for swapping bodies, and the quickest way to do that is to make sure this place doesn't have any more terrible-tasting mystic fortunes to give…I'm gonna be sick!

|| || || || ||

Ok, so fun fact: if you eat your weight in fortune cookies you will vomit until you pass out. But enough about my ongoing hatred for fortune cookies. Time for plan B! Jamie Lee Curtis, who is now in Lindsay Lohan's body, should be meeting with this world's version of the mean girl trio.

Which doesn't really hit, now that I think about it. Because I know Mean Girls came out in 2004, and Freaky Friday, I think, came out the year before, but whatever!

Regina- I mean…who am I kidding? Her actual name doesn't matter. Regina's about to trick Jamie Lee Lohan into getting gift-wrapped, causing her to stumble over a nearby bike rack and eat grass. However, if my math is right, I should have set in motion a Final Destination-style series of unfortunate events where, instead of landing on soft-ish dirt, Jamie'll get knocked out for hopefully the rest of the movie's run time…

-Pulls Out Phone-

Wow, '09 and '04 again! How do I even know that this movie exists? Wait, that's riiiiiight, Parent Trap and the School Sleepover. Man, those were better days. Why couldn't I get trapped in Parent Trap? Could've been done by now.

-Jamie Lee Lohan screams as she topples over the bike rack onto dirt-

What the-where's the duffle bag of football helmets? Where's the horde of test frogs? What happened to the-

-The school shakes as a muffled explosion goes off, followed by fire alarms-

Oh yeah, forgot about the toilet bombs. Oh, man, I should probably make sure that janitor's okay. Alright, first, help the janitor, and then we slash pretty boy's motorcycle tires.

…probably should have done that first.

|| || || || ||

Ok, so that did not work at all, but on the bright side, Jamie Lee Curtis' character is a pretty good therapist, so I got that going for me.

Anyway, no more, Mr. Subtle. It's the big concert, and I gotta show stopper, and by that, I mean over a thousand dollars in professional-grade fireworks at the heart of the city's electrical grid. Can't rock with no power!

-Laughs maniacally while lighting the fuse-

…wait a minute…these are rockets…rockets explo-

|| || || || ||

-Jerks awake on the couch as the credits for Freaky Friday roll down the TV screen-

Oh, thank God that worked! Not to self, next, get trapped in something fun like Lilo & Stitch or one of the Rugrats movies or…

-Jumps off the couch over to the DVD rack, frantically searching through the stacks until finding "Speed Racer 2008."-

I take it all back, this was the best purchase I've ever made!

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. . . . . . . . . .

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the story. If you have any comments, critiques, or criticisms, please don't be afraid to let me hear 'em (as long as they're constructive (or comical)). Also, if you have some spare time, check out my blog for more stories like the one above. Stay safe, drink plenty of water, and be kind to yourself and others. ToonMan, AWAY!

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[Last Story] || [Next Story]

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[suckitsurveys]

Do you own anything from Victoria’s Secret “Pink” line? Do you really think the clothes are worth the price? Nope and nope.

What does your last incoming text say, who was it from, and how do you feel about that person? It was from Ellen and it was about telling my niece we have Billie Eilish tickets. I love Ellen; she is one of my best friends. I get to see her in two weeks!

Did you have a New Year’s kiss? I did. I think we forgot to kiss at exactly midnight but we did eventually lol.

Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly? I have a hard time with “peculiar” and “conscience.”

After a long day at work or of doing something physical what tends to hurt more? Your back or your feet? My back.

Do you have a smart phone? If so, what’s your favorite app? Yes. Right now I am a fan of the NTY app with all the games.

Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why? Mark because he loves me.

If you had to choose between being a Nurse or an English teacher which would you choose and why? Both sound absolutely miserable.

Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever? No, I stop wherever. There are a couple I frequent though; one by my house and another by work, just because those are the most convenient. But I am not above stopping other places if I need gas.

How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with? Mark is 5 years older than me.

Is anything stressing you out at the moment? Everything.

What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship? I wouldn’t be with someone who had a child.

Have you ever actually found a mascara that makes a huge difference for your lashes? Yeah, I have really light and short lashes, so on the rare occasion I wear mascara, it definitely makes them look darker/longer.

Would you rather have one or two great facial features that stand out, or have just an overall pretty face but have no special features? I’d rather have the special features.

Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day? Did you do anything last Valentine’s Day? Probably just make dinner with Mark.

Do you check your horoscope daily? If so, did you relate to your horoscope at all today? I don’t check it daily but I am sucker for horoscope memes. I think I definitely have some virgo characteristics.

When you need to remember something, how do you usually go about doing so? I set a reminder on my phone.

Do you think you’re a confident person? In your opinion what makes someone “confident” anyways? I fucking hate myself right now so try again later.

How would you describe someone that is your type of guy/girl? I LOVE a sense of humor. Like, we need to laugh at stupid shit together and you gotta be a lil sarcastic or we won’t get along. I also like em tall and scrawny and brown eyes don’t hurt either hehehe.

Do you read books often? What is your all time favorite book and author? I don’t.

Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for? Actually going to New York.

Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all? Nope and nope.

What is your opinion on people that shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore? I don’t care.

When you enter a store like Target or Walmart where is the first section you go? Depends on what I am there for, but I like checking the dollar spot in Target because they usually have cute seasonal stuff.

Are you the type of person to fight for someone or walk away? Depends on the person/relationship.

Is marijuana legal for “recreational use” where you live? Also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states? It is legal here and should be everywhere.

Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you’d like to live alone? I live with my husband.

How often would you say you use Microsoft Word? Relatively often at work.

What is the last online purchase you made? I just ordered some dry shampoo but just remembered I need to order my niece’s party decor soon!!!!!

Do you usually have bad symptoms around “that time of the month”? Yes.

Is there anyone you have to see on a daily/weekly basis that you really dislike? Yup, most of my coworkers.

Is your hair thick or thin? Would you say it’s easy to manage? It’s on the thicker side and it’s pretty manageable for me.

Have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship? Yeah, my husband and I were long distance the first few years of our relationship. I also have a few friends who live out of state.

Are you procrastinating doing anything right now? Yes.

How do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.? I don’t mind it if it’s from someone I know.

Have you ever had a thing for/relationship with a coworker? How did it end? Nope.

What would you say is your worst habit? Picking at my face. Its why I still have acne at 30 fucking 4 years old.

Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at? Sure.

Do you ever read the articles posted on the home page of Xanga? Has there ever been one that has really stood out to you? Woah damn this is a THROWBACK.

What is the weather currently like where you live? It’s rainy and in the low 70Fs right now. I have the window opened in the office and it’s pretty nice.

Is there anyone that you text on a regular basis that you do not have saved in your phone? If so, why don’t you have their number saved? Nope.

Do you have any plans for Mardi Gras? Nah.

[rainsmediaradio]

Eminem ft. Juice WRLD - Godzilla Lyrics

Eminem ft. Juice WRLD - Godzilla Lyrics Intro Ugh, you're a monster Verse 1: Eminem I can swallow a bottle of alcohol and I'll feel like Godzilla Better hit the deck like the card dealer My whole squad's in here, walking around the party A cross between a zombie apocalypse and B-Bobby "The Brain" Heenan which is probably the Same reason I wrestle with mania Shady's in this bitch, I'm posse'd up Consider it to cross me a costly mistake If they sleepin' on me, the hoes better get insomnia ADHD, Hydroxycut Pass the Courvoisier (Hey, hey) In AA with an AK, melee, finna set it like a playdate Better vacate, retreat like a vacay, mayday (Ayy) This beat is cray-cray, Ray J, H-A-H-A-H-A Laughing all the way to the bank, I spray flames They cannot tame or placate the Chorus: Juice WRLD with Eminem Monster You get in my way, I'ma feed you to the monster (Yeah) I'm normal during the day, but at night, turn to a monster (Yeah) When the moon shines like Ice Road Truckers I look like a villain outta those blockbusters Godzilla, fire spitter, monster Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet Fire, Godzilla, fire, monster Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet Verse 2: Eminem I'm just a product of Slick Rick and Onyx, told 'em lick the balls Had 'em just appalled, did so many things that pissed 'em off It's impossible to list 'em all And in the midst of all this I'm in a mental hospital with a crystal ball Tryna see, will I still be like this tomorrow? Risperdal, voices whisper My fist is balled back up against the wall, pencil drawn This is just the song to go ballistic on You just pulled a pistol on the guy with a missile launcher I'm just a Loch Ness, the mythological Quick to tell a bitch screw off like a fifth of vodka When you twist the top of the bottle, I'm a Chorus: Juice WRLD with Eminem Monster You get in my way, I'ma feed you to the monster (Yeah) I'm normal during the day, but at night, turn to a monster (Yeah) When the moon shines like Ice Road Truckers I look like a villain outta those blockbusters Godzilla, fire spitter, monster Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet Fire, Godzilla, fire, monster Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet Verse 3: Eminem If you never gave a damn (Ayy), raise your hand 'Cause I'm about to set trip, vacation plans I'm on point like my index is, so all you will ever get is The motherfuckin' finger (Finger), prostate exam ('Xam) How can I have all these fans and perspire? Like a liar's pants, I'm on fire And I got no plans to retire and I'm still the man you admire These chicks are spazzin' out, I only get more handsome and flyer I got 'em passin' out like what you do when you hand someone flyers And what goes around comes around just like the blades on the chainsaw 'Cause I caught the flack, but my dollars stacked right off the bat like a baseball Like Kid Ink, bitch, I got them racks with so much ease that they call me Diddy 'Cause I make bands and I call getting cheese a cakewalk (Cheesecake, yeah) Bitch, I'm a player, I'm too motherfuckin' stingy for Cher Won't even lend you an ear, ain't even pretending to care But I tell a bitch I'll marry her if she'll bury her Face in my genital area, the original Richard Ramirez Cristhian Rivera, 'cause my lyrics never sit well So they wanna give me the chair Like a paraplegic, and it's scary, call it Hari Kari 'Cause e'ry Tom and Dick and Harry carry a Merriam motherfuckin' dictionary on 'em Swearing up and down they can spit, this shit's hilarious It's time to put these bitches in the obituary column We wouldn't see eye to eye with a staring problem Get the shaft like a steering column (Monster) Trigger happy, pack heat, but it's black ink Evil half of the Bad Meets Evil, that means take a back seat Take it back to Fat Beats with a maxi single Look at my rap sheet, what attracts these people Is my 'Gangsta Bitch' like Apache with a catchy jingle I stack chips, you barely got a half-eaten Cheeto Fill 'em with the venom and eliminate 'em Other words, I Minute Maid 'em I don't wanna hurt 'em, but I did, I'm in a fit of rage I'm murderin' again, nobody will evade I'm finna kill 'em and dump all their fuckin' bodies in the lake Obliterating everything, incinerate a renegade I'm here to make anybody who want it with the pen afraid But don't nobody want it, but they're gonna get it anyway 'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like I'm mentally ill I'm Attila, kill or be killed, I'm a killer bee, the vanilla gorilla You're bringin' the killer within me outta me You don't wanna be the enemy of the demon who entered me And be on the receivin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be Every bit of me's the epitome of a spitter When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me A hundred percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you, bitch, I'm unfadable You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blowin' up like an inflatable I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable I'm on the toilet bowl, I got a trailer full of money and I'm paid in full I'm not afraid to pull a— Outro: Eminem Man, stop Look what I'm plannin', haha Read the full article

[meanya]

If you missed any or all of the Unus Annus livestream, here's a summary of every hour:

~11 hours out: The channel name could've been Annus Singulos (they decided on Unus Annus at a Buffalo Wildwing)

They always planned on it ending on Friday the 13th NOT the 15th (@ MatPat)

The dude who interrupted the sex toys video was not a mailman, he was just some guy. He did not comment on the sex toy stuff.

~10 hours out: They look at memes. Mark "hook car batteries up to my nipples and I'll say yes every time" Fischbach is NOT a masochist, he just wants to know what it feels like to be hit by a car

Frank!!! Frank!!!!!!!

Ethan is going to marry the microphone clip on his shirt

Dollar Shave Club never got back to them about a sponsorship

The workers including the actress in the escape room actually enjoyed having Mark and Ethan doing their shtick there

~9 hours out: Vincent the editor made a best of his edits throughout the videos, it was beautiful, it was mostly just clips of dying

He also wrote them a WHOLE DAMN ORIGINAL SONG!!! IN A WEEK!! About stopping the clock!!! He rapped!

Marcus the editor did a funny edits-roll as well, it was brilliant

~8 hours out: Rachel shows her edits roll! Some of the funniest clips in the whole series!

A comment they read: Mark can do any of his edgy project ideas now and that's terrifying.

Mark: Just wait til you see my next project.

Their merch manager had to buy a 4th warehouse to produce all the merch that had been ordered

If anyone sees Unus Annus pictures or any reminiscence of it in the future and are asked where it's from we are supposed to respond with "You wouldn't get it 🙄"

~7 hours out: they complain more about enema water gun

They re-watch the Pepper spray video. Mark talked about how he thinks about the pain whenever he sees videos of riotors/protestors getting sprayed. Everyone in chat chanted “BLM” and “ACAB” for a few minutes.

Lixian the editor had his edit reel played (”They make em (the people) pretty in Portugal”)

Mark was salty at Youtube because they claimed they didn’t make billboards for YouTube shows and hence, wouldn’t make a billboard for A Heist With Markiplier, but then later made one for James Charles’ show

Mark presented Amy with a BRAND NEW BUG WATCH 😭

Amy: No nothing on their (Youtube’s) Twitter, they’re not talking about it (Unus Annus)

Mark: Guess it’s not important enough...

Amy: They’re too busy tweeting about “World Kindness Day”

Mark: Oh yeah Friday the 13th 2020 wOrLd KiNdNeSs DaY

~6 hours out: Ethan compares the channel dying to putting down a dog. Things get serious for a beat, people in chat start crying.

They look at fanart for a while, Mark criticizes it like an asshole

They watch Pink Trombone again.

Mark and Ethan guarantee that after the channel is gone they will not forget about it. Mark also permits people to make creations / art after Unus Annus is deleted.

~5 hours out: They re-watch Pee Sauna, dying inside all the way.

DJ Burt Blackarach surprises them with a cake and champagne.

Chat is flooded with “❤🧡💛💚💙💜” messages for a while

Looking at memes again, Mark confirms that the noises that the radio made in SCP Amy were 100% just the radios, not them, making the sounds. They still don’t know why they made those sounds.

Mark and Ethan beg for 1mil like in order to see what’s actually in the Unus Annus casket. They might even lay down in it.

~4 hours out: We find out that in the Children’s Games in Total Darkness video, the weird shot of them both in a trance staring into the phone screen was actually just them trying to adjust their eyes back to normal light and it wound up looking super cool.

Vincent’s highlight reel is played again while everyone takes a break, supposedly there is a “surprise” to be revealed soon.

A tattoo artist named Danielle comes on the set, Ethan says he’s going to get an Unus Annus tattoo live.

~3 hours out: More fanart. Mark admits that after this ends, he’s probably never going to wear his suit ever again, he might bury it. (There’s not much room left in his backyard)

Mark talks Danielle the tattoo artist’s ear off about how wholesome and educational and not cursed the channel was.

Mark and Ethan then do a full 180 and confess to Danielle all their sins; cooking with sex toys, pee sauna, pee life straws, the pee soda idea, drilldo, etc.

Amy: (while Eef’s getting tattooed) “Mark, he’s choosing to spend his last day in pain. And you’re not!”

Mark: (looking at a picture of a tattoo) How long do you think that tattoo would take?

Danielle: Probably 3 hours.

Mark: 3 HOURS?!?! That’s more time than we have to live!!

Alex, Mark’s trainer, made them a euology video. It was like a LORE-filled poem made of secret callbacks to the titles of past videos.

Ethan’s tattoo is done, it is a “ 00:00:00 “ on his left arm.

Stevie who runs the merch shop makes a guest appearance. He self descirbes as “tired and sad and a little tipsy.” He seems both grateful and dead inside. He says he’s going to do a matching tattoo with Ethan.

Mark admits he was planning on not doing merch originally, but he’s glad he changed his mind.

~2 hours out: They talk about behind the scenes of Hee hoo. The reason Mark’s still wearing high socks during this video is because of all the burs so he doesn’t scrape up his legs. Amy wrote the whole end credits story about Ethan meeting Michelle Obama and dying a tyrant.

Mark never got to watch Ethan kidnaps Mark, so they watch it.

They watch The Truth about Unus Annus, Amy surprises Mark with a white tophat. #Mark’sNewHat (it’s an extra large)

Mark and Eef make their last tweets as Unus and Annus

Mark got cool Unus Annus custom pocket watches for Ethan and Amy

~1 hour out: Things get serious. Mark and Ethan private the Unus Annus Instagram (so that no one else can take the Unus Annus handle) and delete all the posts.

Mark proposes that Amy be the one to hit the delete button at the end of the channel. They agree to do it together.

They hit 1 million likes. They open the coffin. There’s nothing in the coffin, but the inside is very pretty, split-colors silk. They take turns laying in it for the first time with the door shut. It’s comfy. Even Amy tries laying in it.

Mark says a short eulogy for Eef as Eef does for Mark. They both say a eulogy for Amy. They all get choked up. The coffin is now called the Cry Box.

They delete the Unus Annus Twitter. They set the Subreddit to private. Apparently there were no mods on that subreddit except Mark.

Mark finally confessed to Amy that he punched a hole in the wall. Amy was there when it was being patched up, but she forgives him anyway.

They play The Barrel and sing along. They thank their team. They thank the audience.

Amy comes down. They all put their hands on the computer. “Unus Annus."

Mark: "See you on the other side."

Ethan: "See you on the other side."

they click delete. The channel is gone forever. Memento mori.

[emilybradshaw]

English Rose - A Bradley Bradshaw Story

Chapter 9

Hey my lovelies, sorry it's been a while! I've been away and everything has been hectic! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

TW: Angst, a creepy rapey perv, incredibly protective Bradley and Dagger Squad.

Taglist: @bratshaws

Emily had about half an hour to pull herself together before she was hopping on the back of Maverick’s motorbike to join Penny who had left to set up at The Hard Deck. She’d never been on a motorbike in her life so was clinging onto Pete like there was no tomorrow. They did ultimately arrive at the bar unscathed as Pete offered Emily his hand to help her off.

“You not coming in?” she asked.

“I have a few errands to make first, but I’ll make an appearance later, is Bradley going to be in tonight?”

“He said he was, I think the whole squad are stopping by, according to Hangman anyway”

“Well, I’ll you later, have a good shift” he smiled at her as she walked up the steps into the bar.

She opened the door to the bar and saw Penny taking down all the chairs ready for the night ahead, with it being the weekend it should be busy one and with the Daggers set to make an appearance she had a feeling she would be rushed off her feet.

“Hey, how was your date with Rooster?”

“It was lovely, we just went down the beach and back, talked a bit”

“Did you tell him, you know, about earlier?”

Emily stopped, looking up at Penny and starting to chew on her lip again, “No I didn’t, I don’t think I want to”.

“Well, I’m sure Pete’s already said this to you, but he will understand and he will support you, it’s the type of person he is”

“Yeah I know, I just don’t feel ready yet”

“Well, until you feel that way, I’m here and so is Pete and you can come to us about anything if you need it, alright?”

Emily just nodded, moving to start taking down chairs from the other side of the bar, thinking about what Penny had just said, she was very lucky to be where she was, with these people. She couldn’t work out how she had got so lucky, but she really wasn’t complaining. As soon as she’d done the chairs she began to take some glasses down and started to stack them underneath the bar, in easy reach for the impending rush they would be facing very soon.

“I’m just gonna take these bottles out to the bin Em, can you get the cash from the storeroom please”

“Yeah sure thing!”

When Emily returned carrying the cash from the till Penny was still outside as she could hear the bottles smashing against the sides of the bin, but there was another person that had appeared in the bar, he was propped up against the side of the bar, smirking to the girl as she approached with the drawer for the till.

“I’ll be with you in just a minute”

“Sure thing, Sugar. That’s a lovely accent you’ve got”

“Everyone says that, I’m from England” she laughed at the man, slotting the drawer into the till and turning to face him. He was middle aged, maybe mid-fifties, quite large with a beer belly, a little too old to be referring to her as ���Sugar’ she thought. “So, what can I get you?”

“I’ll take a bottle of beer, and whatever you’re having” he chuckled, his eyes scanning her up and down as he spoke, she so wished she had popped her longer top on this evening rather than the red cami she had found tucked in the side of her suitcase.

“That’s kind of you, but I don’t drink” she lied.

“Well, that’s a shame, Sugar. Will have to think of another way to repay you”, he handed over a five dollar bill, telling her to keep the change as he did so. As she turned to the till again she heard Penny heading back into the bar and behind the counter, shuffling past Emily as she did so, gently moving her by the waist slightly so she could get to the cupboard beneath the till. The man at the bar looking at Penny but not daring to speak to the older woman, probably for fear of being thrown out if he said the wrong thing.

Emily went about setting up the rest of the bar for the evening ahead as the man from earlier kept his position at the bar, watching the young girl’s every move. She knew this and was becoming quite uncomfortable with it. As she walked past her, Penny grabbed Emily softly by the wrist, “you know, if he’s making you feel uncomfortable, I can ask him to leave”.

“No, it’s okay, I can handle it. He hasn’t actually done anything wrong, it’s just a vibe I’m getting” she smiled up at her boss, a flicker of worry still evident in her eyes.

“Well, the moment it becomes more than just a vibe, he’s out” Penny replied, rather forcefully.

Emily returned to the bar and was immediately asked for another drink by the man, “I’m Frank by the way” he added as she passed him another beer. She simply nodded, not replying with her name, “what, don’t I get to hear your name you pretty little thing”

“It’s Emily” she replied shortly, “now is there anything else I can get you?” The man shook his head as she once again turned to the other side of the bar and began to clean it up and get ready. She sighed, this would be long shift with Mr Creep lurching over her, she did hope Bradley would make an appearance, that would make it pass faster.

About ten minutes later Frank piped up again, “I’ll have another” he said, waving the empty beer bottle around his head, Emily without words obliged and handed another bottle to the man, taking payment in a silent fashion. It was only now that the bar had started to fill up, small groups trickling in, but no daggers to be seen yet. Unfortunately.

After another half hour the bar was bustling, and yet again Frank needed another beer. “Come on Sugar, what can I get you?” he asked for about the millionth time, clearly not knowing when to take no for an answer.

“I’m good, honestly”, she smiled, trying her best to be polite as she slid the change across the bar top for him. As she began to retract her hand to move onto the next customer he grabbed her wrist, not nearly as softly as Penny had earlier, “hey, what the fuck. Get off me” she shouted at him, clearly startled by the turn of events. Frank did not let go, he simply dug his nails in deeper, earning a hiss from the girl he had captured. Before she had the chance to say anything else a voice popped up from behind Frank.

“I suggest you take your hands off my girl before I do something I might regret.” Bradley. He had showed up at precisely the right time, Emily smiled, still in the grip of the man, but genuinely relieved to see her boyfriend and his Squadron behind him. “Now, I’m gonna count to three and by the time I finish, I expect you to be out of that door… one…two”, that was all Frank needed, he abruptly let Emily loose and quickly shuffled off from the bar to the door, followed by Payback and Fanboy to make sure he actually left.

“Are you alright?” Bradley’s demeanour completely changing as he looked to his girlfriend.

“Yeah, I am now you’re here. Thank you”, leaning over the bar to kiss her boyfriend, met with an ‘ew’ from Hangman and the sound of a slap from Phoenix shortly after, she pulled away chuckling and turned to get the whole squad beers. “On the house, on account of being my Knights in Shining Armour… obviously Phoe, you’re included in that”.

“Yes Ma’am” Phoenix quipped, patting the girl on the shoulder as the squad walked over to the pool table and assumed their usual positions.

“I’m fine Bradley, honestly. I need to get on though, look at how many people are here!”

“As long as you’re sure, I’m over there if you need me. And Emily, I’ll drive you home tonight”

She smiled at him, giving him another quick peck on the lips before she carried on serving customers. It was about an hour before the rush died off and Emily turned round to see the biggest mountain of empty bottles she thinks she had ever seen in the box.

“Hey, Penny, I’m just gonna take these bottles out there, we’re overflowing down here”

“Good idea!”

Emily stepped out from behind the bar, carrying the large box with her, watched every step of the way by Hangman, while Rooster was currently engaged in a very serious game of pool with Bob, who was surprisingly good at the game. She reached the bottle bin outside but had forgotten it was locked, fumbling with her keys in the jeans she placed the box of bottles on the ground to attempt to manoeuvre her jeans to find the key in the pocket, she was sure the pockets weren’t this deep earlier she thought. As she found the key she went to turn it in the lock and as she did she felt two hands around her waist, she smiled, “Brad, I’m working”, she turned around to face the pilot, except it wasn’t him. Instead of her boyfriend, she was met with the face of Frank.

Before she had time to scream he clamped a hand over her mouth and pinned her against the wooden wall to the bins. As he spoke she could smell alcohol on his breath. It was evident he had gone to the Liquor Store to get something stronger. “Now, Sugar. Let me repay you for earlier” he smirked. Emily didn’t think, she kneed the man with such force he doubled over, clutching his crotch and howling in pain. She made a break for it back to the bar door but was yanked back by her hair and slammed into the ground, being pinned behind a vehicle so no one could see, “you’re not getting away from me now Sugar, you’ll enjoy this, I promise”.

Tears began to form in her eyes as she fought but made no progress, she shouted and shouted but there was no one outside and the music and chatter from inside the bar drowned out her screams. As he moved his hands to her jeans the weight of his body was suddenly removed from her.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” the voice bellowed, slamming Frank into the car, beside her Phoenix appeared, quickly hooking her arms underneath the girl’s shoulders and helping her to stand up. Emily looked round and saw Hangman practically feral, pinning Frank to the car.

“I SHOULD KILL YOU, I SHOULD FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT” he screamed at him, Emily still in Phoenix’s grasp as Fanboy too made his way out of the bar to look for his two friends who had left the bar without word minutes earlier. Presented with the scene in front of him, and Phoenix holding you as you full on sobbed, the reality of the situation sinking in, he muttered three words, “I’ll get Rooster”. Before heading back into the bar to find the aviator. If Hangman was feral, what would Bradley be like?

About twenty seconds later the doors to the bar flew open and Bradley, quickly flanked by Fanboy, Coyote, Bob and Payback and shortly after followed by Penny walked out to the scene of sheer carnage in front of them.

Rooster scanned the scene, he didn’t know what was going on, Fanboy had just grabbed him and told him to come outside, he looked to Hangman who had the man who had grabbed Emily earlier pinned to car, screaming obscenities at him as he did so, then looked to his left where Phoenix had his girlfriend in a hug.

“What the fuck has happened?” he demanded.

Hangman, as calmly as he could began to relay the information. “I saw Emily leaving the bar with the bottles like normal, but she was a long time so me and Phoenix came out to check on her to make sure she was okay, especially with what had happened earlier. I come outside, I hear her screaming, and I mean screaming. Then I look behind this car and this piece of absolute shit is on top of her trying to pull her jeans down.”

Bradley takes a moment to process what he has just heard, his eyes going between Hangman and his girlfriend, he then tries to launch himself at the man, but is held back by Coyote.

“She needs you, Rooster. Let us deal with him” Coyote said to his friend as he turned him in Emily’s direction and let him go. Bradley wasted no time in scooping you into his arms, quickly joined at your side by Penny, as the rest of the Daggers took Frank away to teach him a lesson.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe, I promise”, he spoke softly, rubbing circles in your hair and Penny rubbed them in your back. “He’ll never come near you again, I promise”.

“Take her home Bradley” Penny whispered, “stay with her too”

“I wasn’t going to leave her on her own Pen, not after this” he said as he began to guide his girlfriend to the bronco, “Come on darlin, let’s get you home, yeah?”

Emily muffled a yes from her position inside Bradley’s chest, clutching onto him for dear life, not wanting to let go.

“I’ve got you baby, I’ve always got you” Bradley whispered into her hair as he helped her into his car, shutting the door and climbing in the driver’s seat.

“Let’s get out of here.”

[yemilnisu]

INCORRECT HAIKYUU QUOTES FROM BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

nisu entries:

i got this idea from @memekingofwwiii and some of it are theirs 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank you for letting me add it here 😊 it’s a mixture from buzzfeed unsolved supernatural and true crime 👀 i really had fun doing this!

warning: swearing, mentions of death/murder/killing/blood/weed

「part 2」

Tendou: i did have a neighbor who had an overhang of a lime tree, and it was great because i could go pick a little lime.

Ushijima: did you ever think about killing your neighbor?

Tendou: when he didn't give me limes, yeah.

Ushijima: oh, okay; all right.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: this is my bridge now, if you want it back you’re gonna have to kill me.

Oikawa: he did throw someone off the bridge once.

Matsukawa: fuck you, goatman!

Oikawa: Jesus Christ.

Kunimi: *behind the camera snickering as mattsun taunts the goatman much to oikawa’s dismay*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: hey demons, it’s me, ya boi.

Matsukawa: if you want to eat my heart, turn that light on. If you want to eat oikawa’s heart, turn that light on...

Oikawa: don’t drag me into your shit, mattsun.

*torch turns on*

Oikawa: *screams*

Matsukawa: *laughs hysterically as he continues to lie on the pentagram*

Kunimi: *actual wheezing*

Matsukawa: i think this demon’s a wimp.

Oikawa: he’s out of his fucking mind.

Kunimi: *having the time of his life*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Oikawa: every human's capable of murder if you push them enough. i just don't know if this is enough of a push.

Iwaizumi: okay.

Oikawa: it's true!

Iwaizumi: is that so?

Oikawa: yeah.

Oikawa: i bet you you would murder me if I pushed you enough.

Iwaizumi: yeah, probably.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: …

Tsukishima: so, you're telling me, at nine years old, you don’t go to church. the first time you cross the threshold into holy ground,

Nishinoya: *makes noise and imitates blood coming out of his nose*

Tsukishima: blood expels from your nostrils?

Nishinoya: yeah, yeah. they ran outta tissues! mopping that up.

Tsukishima: …

Nishinoya: it was wild!

Tsukishima: it sounds wild.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: i think it was the neighbor. look, i’m a simple man. i see a trail of blood going to someone's house. even if they didn't do it, come on; you're going to jail.

Kenma: i think it might've been a random person.

Kuroo: all right.

Kenma: it just seems too obvious.

Kuroo: okay.

Kenma: there's a paper trail of their feud. why the hell would he be that dumb?

Kuroo: rage, you know? lust, rage. rage just- just building up, bursting out.

Kenma: well, i've never really gotten that angry. i don't really have that capacity.

Kuroo: it's building. it's building inside you. everyone sees it; we all see it.

Kenma: that's great. oh man, i can't wait for krakatoa then.

Kuroo: *shuddering* oh- oh- i shudder.

Kenma: hope no one's in the way 😺

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: scary.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Daichi: he allegedly chased his mother with an axe when he was 19.

Asahi: not great.

Daichi: (wheeze) no? not off- off to a bad start?

Asahi: no good. i’ve never done that. you didn’t do that did you?

Daichi: no! i didn't- what- is there anything to suggest that I would chase my mom with an axe?

Asahi: (inhales) not outright i feel like if you peel the layers back.

Daichi: you think if you peel the layers back from this onion, you'll see something you don’t want to see?

Asahi: yeah. i think you wear a mask sometimes 😅

Daichi: mm-hmm i think you should keep digging and maybe see what happens 🙂

Asahi: uh no i'm good 🧍🏻‍♂️

Daichi: *staring at asahi*

Asahi: 👁👄👁💧

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: my takeaway is people from chicago are weird.

Atsumu: the- this does not represent chicago. this is people and go "ey! chicago tylenol murders"

Osamu: (laugh) home with the beam, the cubs and the chicago tylenol murders and of course our nation's greatest tragedy, miya atsumu.

Atsumu: that- that's not me.

Osamu: i read it somewhere 🤷🏻

Atsumu: no, you didn’t, you probably wrote it.

Osamu: yeah.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Suna: i’d love to be an heiress.

Kita: (snickers)

Suna: i know she’s probably gonna disappear or something.

Kita: so you wanna be a trust fund baby?

Suna: i’d like someone to give me a lot of money for doing nothing. but i want-

Kita: and then you wanna disappear?

Suna: yes. i want to get a lot of money and then vanish from the face of the earth.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Ennoshita: her family believed that when she left at 11:30 am, she had as much as $30 in her purse, which in today’s dollars would be more than $750.

Nishinoya: holy moly!

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche—

Nishinoya: yeah.

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche.

Nishinoya: thirty bucks going that far in 1910.

Tanaka: i don’t even have $750 in my bank account.

Nishinoya: i’ve never had $750 in my pocket! i rarely have had $30 in my pocket.

Ennoshita: well i don’t really carry cash anymore-

Nishinoya & Tanaka: who does!?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Yaku: stop number one, mothman statue.

Lev: it looks very ornate.

Yaku: *shocked that lev knows that word*

Yaku: you’ll be able to stare at it eye to eye.

Lev: what’s that supposed to mean?

Yaku: it means you’re eight feet tall, it’s a tall joke. get it?

Lev: 🧍🏼

Yaku: 🤦🏼‍♂️

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Akaashi: any... any thought in that so far?

Bokuto: (fart sound) nope. what year is it, ‘66?

Akaashi: ‘66.

Bokuto: few teens out there probably smoking a few funny cigarettes.

Akaashi: you could say weed. it’s 2018.

Bokuto: ...some grass.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kageyama: so my guess is the couples were somewhere around here, maybe on that road over there.

Hinata: yeah.

Kageyama: and i'm not sure of the exact location but this is where they saw him stumbling around.

Hinata: they just… saw him kinda shambling?

Kageyama: yeah.

Hinata: big shambling man. kinda *shuffling his body*

Kageyama: i- i don’t know, maybe he was just taking a walk, i mean, what's it to you?

Hinata: why would you take a walk if you had wings?

Kageyama: he's a fucking creature, he can do what he wants.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: but all im saying is that what you need to gather from this is that he has an effect on people's psyche.

Lev: this mothman's a complicated character.

Kuroo: what does he sound like? what does he sound like?

Lev: he sound like the blood bird.

Kuroo: …

Lev: flappy spookster.

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: that's- come on.

Kuroo: *glances over to lev's notes*

Lev: the winged wretch. did i already say that?

Kuroo: this just says fright terror.

Kuroo: *throws away the notes*

Lev: you know, just call him batman, why is that hard? 😩

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(howling)

Goshiki: what the fuck.

Shirabu: well those are coyotes… or dogs. Or a large pack of something.

Goshiki: holy shit.

Shirabu: just some coyotes.

Goshiki: are you not fucking alarmed right now?

Shirabu: are you scared? (laugh)

Goshiki: dude wait- this goes beyond belief, that was a pack of, whatever the fuck that was.

Shirabu: it was coyotes!

Goshiki: is that our cue to leave? i think maybe. we've been out here for quite a bit.

Shirabu: yeah, i don’t know if were gonna find anything tonight.

Goshiki: i don’t wanna be in the mouth of some coyote later, that's not how i want the picture wrap on old tsutomu to be.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Atsumu: air force one? they filmed air force one here?

Atsumu: air force one actually, now that i think of it, remember the reason they hijacked the plane is to release for the-

Sakusa: i’m gonna go ahead and cut you off right there 'cause i don’t give a shit.

Sakusa: we’re gonna move over here.

Atsumu: …okay.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kai: four people in a cell, that's a lot

Kuroo: i mean, you put any normal people in a room that's too small. like if you’re in a dorm in college, if you hate your roommate…

Kai: it's tough business

Kuroo: listening to music too loud when i'm trying to study

Kai: hwfrrrrr…

Kuroo: cookin' uhh… top ramen in the microwave when i'm trying to sleep

Kai: you got some axes to grind?

Kuroo: no.

Kai: oh

Kuroo: fuck you, daishou.

Kai: daishou?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(distant thud)

Yamamoto: what the fuck?

Kenma: :3

Yamamoto: is all i have to say to that.

Kenma: they didn’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: you didn't like the thumb talk? was it too much thumb talk? i thought we went about two minutes long on the-

(distant thud)

Kenma: they don’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: *looking around in shock*

Kenma: *stopping himself from laughing*

Yamamoto: uhhhh… holy fuck. holy fuck, holy fuck. if you’re one of the people that had that thumb thing to happen to you, that sucks. what was it like?

Kenma: what do you think you're gonna get right now? 😑

Yamamoto: i feel like we should go see what that is, to be honest.

Kenma: *shakes his head*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: we’re walking over to the source of the disturbance.

Hinata: hello? (sigh) i’m gonna lose my mind. so, it did that twice within the span of 10 seconds but nothing else?

Tsukishima: but, we can confirm that it did sound like this right? *slams the cabinet door*

Hinata: yeah.

Tsukishima: that was the sound.

Hinata: do you think the wind’s gonna do that twice?

Tsukishima: *blows on the cabinet door*

Tsukishima: not moving 🙄

Hinata: well, shit.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sugawara: oh there it is. it’s that. *pointing to where the sound was coming from*

Asahi: what?

Sugawara: there’s a logical explanation for you.

Asahi: ah! okay, there it is. well, there you go, there you go.

Sugawara: but, if we hadn’t seen that...

Asahi: if we hadn’t seen that we would be fooled 😅

Sugawara: no, we wouldn’t have been fooled. you would have been telling me for months.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

*inside the prisoners of ohio state penitentiary*

Kageyama: this is fucking terrible.

Tsukishima: it’s the opportunity of a lifetime to be here.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tendou: i’m separating from the group.

Semi: it’s the ideal time to kill him.

Tendou: yeah i mean, if i were gonna die in camera it would be a pretty noble thing.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: I don’t understand what’s wrong with atsumu sometimes.

Atsumu: what was that?

Osamu: i didn’t say anything.

Atsumu: you sure you didn’t say anything, ‘samu?

Osamu: now go back and set ‘em off to make sure they work.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sakusa: *inhales*

Atsumu: *inhales*

Sakusa: you need to back up from me. i can feel your air intake. it’s like a gross nasal jet, i don’t know.

Atsumu: *takes a step towards sakusa*

Sakusa: uh no *takes a step backwards*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Futakuchi: latch yourself onto my soul, come back to hollywood with me, and destroy the lives of all my friends and coworkers.

Koganegawa: a little hard to follow, but i like where you’re going.

Futakuchi: kogane’s family has a little-

Koganegawa: ey! ey! do-! do-! don’t!

Futakuchi: -dog named mickey.

Koganegawa:*trying to stop futakuchi*

Futakuchi: real good. you wanted me to give it my all. i’m throwing stuff on the table.

Koganegawa: insults, not personal information. you’re giving him a dossier on my life!

TAG LIST

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[leossmoonn]

could i please request a stefan fluff where the reader is like spanish or smth, but she speaks ij english with everyone. and her and stefan are dating. so one day she gets upset over smth so she starts ranting in spanish and stefan can't understand a thing. and he's like "oh- ok-" even though he didn't understand anything. if not thats ok! have a nice day!!

have a nice day too <33

masterlist

pairing - stefan salvatore x spanish speaking, fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note - i put the reader as a spanish speaker and not just spanish, so it could be more inclusive :). and i'm so sorry that this is so bad. i couldn't come up with a better plot like i wanted to, but i hope you enjoy anyways!

warnings / includes - language, kissing, food and alcohol mention, cute couple stuff, you getting upset (duh), kissing, stefan trying to be supportive but also being really confused lol. you all are like in your late 20s for this lol. for those who aren't spanish speakers, i will put translations in little text under each sentence/paragraph

————

"Sí. Bueno, lo retomaré más tarde. Gracias," you hung up the phone, setting it down with a smile on your face.

["Yes. Okay, I will pick it up later. Thank you."]

"Hey, who was that?" Stefan come over to you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

"That was Lucas's friend. He was able to get the cake and the cupcakes made early!" You squealed, jumping up and down in his arms.

"Oh, that's awesome! Looks like Caroline won't be bugging you anymore," Stefan chuckled.

"Oh, I know. Man, am I happy to finally get this party planning over with," you sighed, turning around and leaning against the counter.

You smiled as you came face-to-face with your boyfriend. You hung your arms around his neck lazily, twirling the hair on the nape of his neck with your first fingers.

"Tired?" Stefan raised a brow, settings hands on your hips.

"Exhausted. And to think the actual party is tonight," you chuckled. "Well, that's the easiest part, right?" Stefan asked.

"Yeah, watching over twenty-to-twenty five eleven years olds is easy," you rolled your eyes.

"You'll have help. Caroline, me, Bonnie, Ric, Elena, Matt. Even Damon has volunteered to watch them!"

"Or lure them in a back corner and fed on them," you scoffed. "Hey, Damon's a lot of things, but he is not a child-blood-sucker," Stefan defended.

"Awe, you're defending him. How cute," you booped his nose.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We are goals. Or whatever the kids are saying these days."

You giggled at his words, turning back around as you heard the front door open. You looked to see Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena carrying the twins, a bunch of presents, and at least five boxes of pizza.

"Damn. I wish you guys bought me this many presents!" You exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up. We give you a bottle of champagne and you're already over the moon," Elena snickered.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a simple gal," you grinned.

"Hey, Stef, can you help, please? Put these next to the window sill," Bonnie ordered as she was carrying most of the presents.

"Yeah, of course," Stefan nodded. He ran over to her with his vampire speed, picking up the presents at lightening speed and laying them out in towers.

"Thank you," Bonnie sighed. "Yeah, no problem. Hey, why didn't you just use your magic to carry them in?" Stefan asked.

"I need to save my energy for the kids," Bonnie explained.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I didn't know we were letting the world know our secret," you frowned.

"We aren't! They're just a bunch of kids. Plus, we can just compel them to forget. Josie and Lizzie really want to show them tricks, too," Caroline bounced the twins in her arms.

You looked to the two girls who were giggling and smiling. You sighed, "Fine. Anyways, guess who was able to get the cake and the cupcakes."

"Oh, my God! You?" Caroline gasped. "Yep. Call me Santa Claus 'cause I just delivered!" You grinned.

Elena, Bonnie, and Stefan cringed at your joke.

"Not your best work, Y/n," Elena shook her head.

"What! Hey, that was pretty good," you frowned. "You'll get 'em next time, babe," Stefan smiled, going over to you and patting you on the back.

"Okay, you guys are just jealous because you're not as funny as me," you scoffed.

"Oh, yeah, we're jealous all right," Bonnie smirked.

You opened your mouth to retort back, but your phone started ringing. You looked at the Caller ID, seeing that it was your brother, Lucas. You gave them all a death glare, picking up your phone and going into the other room.

"Hey, amigo, what's up?" You asked.

"Uh, bad news, chica," Lucas sighed. "Oh?" You raised a brow.

"Yeah, turns out that Darryl can't make the cake or the cupcakes today."

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Your eyes were wide as saucers as you thought of what to say.

"Y/n? Please say something," Luca begged.

You turned your head, your face screwing up in guilt and anger as you saw Lizzie and Josie playing with Bonnie and Stefan. You turned back and focused on the conversation you were having with you very trusting brother.

"¿Qué quiere decir Darryl no puede hacer el pastel o cupcakes?"

[What do you mean darryl can't make the cake or cupcakes?"]

"I mean that he can't make them. Do I need to explain to you what those words mean? And why are you speaking in Spanish? Afraid someone will —"

"En realidad, lo soy, Lucas. Dios, eres tan poco confiable. ¡Y ese amigo tuyo! Espera, ¿podría recuperar mi dinero?"

["Actually, I am, Lucas. God, you are so unreliable. And that friend of yours! Wait, am I going to be able to get my money back?"]

"Um… probably not. But it's okay, I'll pay you back!"

"Ah, ¿cuándo? ¿Después de sacar dinero del fondo universitario de su hijo? ¿O se lo van a pedir a mamá y papá esta vez?"

["Oh, when? After you take out money from your child's college fund? Or are you going to ask mom and dad for it this time?"]

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame Darryl. All I did was hook you up with him!"

"Y probablemente sabías que era un gilipollas mentiroso y que robaba dinero. Llámame de vuelta cuando seas capaz de no mentirme, ¿sí?"

["And you probably knew that he was a lying, money-stealing asshole. Call me back when you're able to not lie to me, yeah?"]

"Wait, Y/n, I-"

You hung up the phone, throwing it on the chair next to you. You groaned quietly, the bridge of your nose burning as tears welled up in your eyes.

"¿Cómo puedes ser tan estúpido, Y/n? Confiando en él después de todo lo demás que ha hecho. Estúpido, estúpido, estúpido!"

["How can you be so stupid, Y/n? Trusting him after everything else he's done. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"]

Stefan, who was throwing up Lizzie and Josie in the air, heard your mutters in the other room. He frowned and put the girls down, promising them that he would be back in a second after checking up on you. He walked into the next room slowly, putting his arm around you lightly.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

You jumped at his voice and touch, sniffling and wiping the tears from your face. "Y-Yeah. Just some um, family stuff."

"Want to talk about it?" Stefan asked.

You sighed, turning around to him. His hand intertwined with yours, squeezing it for support.

"It's just… Lucas. He's just so… jodidamente molesto," you sighed. "Él simplemente no piensa en otras personas y las consecuencias. Quiero decir, trata de ayudar, lo que es agradable, pero siempre termina por pagar dinero a la gente, o termina por tener un ojo negro."

[“He is just so… fucking annoying. He just doesn't think about other people and the consequences. I mean, he tries to help, which is nice, but he always either ends up owing people money, or ends up having a black eye.”]

"O-Oh, yeah," Stefan nodded, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand. But you were speaking so fast and with so much anger, he barely picked up a word.

"Y como su hermana mayor, sé que probablemente se supone que voy fácil con él, pero es un hombre crecido. ¡Debe saber estas cosas! Ugh, sabía que debería haber ordenado a ellos como, Target o algo, pero el amigo de su “aparentemente” es capaz de hacer diseños realmente lindos y hacer arte fondant en tiempo récord, así que tomé mis mis oportunidades. ¿Y adivina dónde estoy ahora?"

[“And as his older sister, I know I'm probably supposed to go easy on him, but he's a grown man. He should know these things! Ugh, I knew I should've just ordered them from like, Target or something, but hsi friend "apparently" is able to do really cute designs and make fondant art in record time, so I took my chances. And guess where I am now?”]

"Right, right. Wow, I'm sorry, babe, I —"

"Ciento cincuenta dólares cortos con dos niñas que van a estar tristes cuando no consiguen su pastel de sirena barbie y cupcakes con temática de Minecraft. ¡Argh!"

["One hundred and fifty dollars short with two little girls who are going to be sad when they don't get their Barbie Mermaid cake and Minecraft-themed cupcakes. Argh!"]

You stopped your rant when you noticed Stefan looked at you with a confused expression on his face. You thought for a moment to yourself, beginning to laugh at yourself as you realised you were speaking in Spanish.

"I'm sorry, Stef. I didn't realise you couldn't understand me."

He smiled and shrugged. "No worries. At least you were able to get it all out, right?"

"A little. When I punch Lucas, I'll be able to get it all out," you grinned.

"That's my girl."

————

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[ashintheairlikesnow]

Mr. Petrus is somewhere in public when a meek stranger approaches him on the street. They immediately recognized him as a Handler—formerly theirs. They appear alone, and half a second from falling to their knees should he so much as look at them a certain way. They try to tell him something but the words catch in their throat and only a quiet noise slips free. How does he react this unexpected interaction?

CW: Pet whump, whumper POV, creepy/intimate whumper, escaped whumpee returns to whumper, dehumanization, collared, implied dubcon/noncon at end, dubcon touch, dubcon kiss

He isn’t usually the type to go out to bars - Luke’s a workaholic on a good week, content to all but live in his Facility sleeping quarters, leaving for supplies or to spend a day out in the sun and then coming right back.

When you love what you do, as they say, you’ll never work a day in your life.

Still, Renford's essentially mandated he take a damn vacation for once. He’s left behind his trainees and headed out to enjoy himself at a bar he used to frequent, back before he found he preferred to frequent the cells the frightened young men are held in, waiting for the slightest touch to remind them they exist.

Luke sits back on a barstool with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Oh, he’s not supposed to smoke, but this bar doesn’t push the issue and he’s not the only one filling the air with the familiar, acrid scent.

Out on the floor, people dance together, barely lit by dim lights changing color every so often, Red, blue, and green move over sweaty skin, curves and straight lines. Luke enjoys it all. He quirks a smile. He can see, just looking, who here would look fucking gorgeous with a collar buckled around their neck and a little more emptiness inside.

Get ‘em so empty they need someone to fill it up.

Luke’s probably ten years older than the oldest of the people on the dance floor, but that doesn’t bother him. Plenty of people like an older man, and those who don’t… well, if he gets them on the wrong end of his baton, they don’t really get to choose what they like or don’t, now do they?

The beat is a deafening rumble that rolls against his skin in rhythm and Luke hums contentedly. His beer is cool and rolls with citrus sourness along his tongue and down his throat, slightly fizzy compared to the darker stuff. Bright enough to flirt with tasting like cider, or nearly so.

Some local craft brewery shit, probably. In his Facility studio, Luke just keeps some basic Coors. No need to get fancy at home, after all.

Does he even have beer in his actual home? It’s been so long since he’s been there…

Something touches his arm, pulls just slightly at his sleeve, and Luke turns, head tipping to the side, a grin already on his lips.

There’s a lithe, beautiful young man there, with hair dyed a brilliant, ridiculously bright purple, eyes ringed in eyeliner. He has a lip ring, Luke notes, his tongue moving out to run over his own lower lip in thought.

There’s something familiar about the young man, although Luke can’t quite place him. Not exactly.

But the shiver of trepidation mixed with a desperation to have eyes - and more than eyes - on him… Luke knows that well enough. It tells him what he wants to know. His smile widens, just a little. “Evening, pretty boy.”

The young man looks up at him, his hand still hovering just over Luke’s bicep, and his mouth opens like he’ll reply. All that comes out is a soft sound that Luke only hears because a new song has started, slightly off-key piano playing over a heavily-synthesized voice and the slow introduction of a beat.

“What?” Luke’s eyebrows raise. “Use your words.”

The young man takes a step closer, and then another. He’s moving like a newborn fawn, on suddenly-awkward legs like he might fall to his knees at any moment. Luke was watching the dancers before, but now his gaze is wholly caught by the absolute goddamn sexiness of a runaway pet who can’t stop himself from walking back into a cage.

“H-Handler Petrus,” The runaway says, and when Luke’s hand moves to cup his face, the young man tips his head immediately into it. His eyes are watering, wet with tears that haven’t yet fallen. As soon as one slips out, Luke leans slowly forward and licks up the side of his face. The runaway whimpers at the wet heat of his tongue, the casual ownership of the action.

“That’s me,” He murmurs into the young man’s ear. “You know it. Why aren’t you running from me?”

The young man swallows, hard, and turns his head, pressing his own lips in a shivering, fearful brush against Luke’s cheek. “I-I’m hungry,” He says, voice almost too low to pick up. “And… and I don’t-... I don’t w-want-...” His voice trails off, and Luke’s smile only widens as the runaway leans forward and rests his forehead against Luke’s shoulder.

He sighs, setting his beer down half-drunk and turning to run his condensation-cold fingers through that garishly bright purple hair. “You ran away, huh?”

He already knows the answer.

The runaway pet nods without speaking.

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, is it?” Luke slides off his barstool, shifting to slide an arm around the runaway’s shoulders. He slaps a ten-dollar bill on the bar and walks away, heading for the door, the beat of a song bouncing off his skin right up until they step outside. It’s chilly out here, with a stiff breeze blowing the scent of saltwater through the air around them. It feels a little like walking through the surf, down here at the old warehouse district.

“No. I’m… hungry all the time, I still have to fuck for a place to sleep, people are… mean sometimes, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, where to go.”

Fuck. He has to make sure the lib people don’t get ahold of this little beauty. He’s exactly what they’re looking to save.

“What’s your number?” He asks, casual as can be. The runaway isn’t wearing long-sleeves or a bracelet, he’s scarred on the inside of his left wrist when Luke takes a peek. Looks like he cut the tattoo off of himself, or had someone else do it, once upon a time.

“654338,” The pet says automatically, without hesitation. “Designation Romantic, Facility 001-”

“Yeah, I got that part.” Luke cuts him off and the pet falls back into silence. “Why’d you run away?” With his blue eyes as cold as ever, Luke lights another cigarette, takes a deep, deep drag, exhales smoke into the air in front of them as they move. The runaway coughs into one hand.

“I just… didn’t want to, anymore. With my owner.”

“You should know that what you want doesn’t fucking matter,” Luke says amiably, but the runaway winces and hunches into himself. Luke watches from the corner of his eye, his own mouth watering at the sight of the pet’s shame, his nervousness. “You don’t exist to get what you want. So why come up to me?”

“I thought maybe-... maybe you could help me.”

“Get back to your owner?”

The pet turns to look up at him, with gorgeous warm brown eyes full of pleading. “No, Handler Petrus. Please, please no. Just… just, to someone else, please, someone who won’t-... hurt me so badly. Please. Please.”

“It’s my job to get any runaway I see back to the Facility, gorgeous thing. Then back home."

“No. No, don’t take me back there! Please, I can’t-... I can’t do the lights again, please. I can't take how he h-hurts when, when he-"

"Yeah, yeah." Luke rolls his eyes. "Wimp."

The pet's eyes close against more tears.

Luke snorts at the sight. Pathetic. “We have pretty strict contracts that ensure runaways go right back to their rightful owners.”

“No, please, just-... can you help me another way?” The runaway goes up on his toes, presses his lips to Luke’s chin, against the corner of his mouth. Those pretty hands move to slide up under Luke’s shirt, cold fingers against his warm stomach. They tease moving downward. There’s a distance in the pet’s eyes, now, separating himself from what he’s doing to earn what he’s desperate for.

Luke considers. Then he has an idea, and he sighs, as if he's won over.

“Tell you what.” He rubs a thumb over the runaway’s lower lip, toys with his lip ring. The pet opens his mouth to show the silver stud on his tongue. Luke’s smile goes slightly cock-eyed, a jolt of heat straight to the pit of his stomach, spreading from there. “I’ve got a friend who might be able to keep you. I’m not going to just hand over anyone, though.”

The pet takes Luke’s thumb into his mouth, sucks lightly, rolling the tongue piercing against the underside in an unspoken promise. He pulls back just to ask, “What do I need to do?”

“I have an apartment, a week’s worth of vacation scheduled, and you can show me just how good you are at earning your keep.”

The runaway swallows with an audible click in his throat, then nods. “I-I can do that.”

“I know you can, baby. I’m the one who trained you. Now, let’s go find out how good you are with that tongue ring.”

Luke leads the pet away, towards his car, smiling contentedly into the night. He can enjoy a week of desperate eagerness, then drug the fuck out of the pretty thing, buckle a collar right back around his neck, and throw him into a cell at WRU to be wiped and put back where he belongs.

Once he’s on the Drip for a couple of days, he won’t even know Luke broke a promise.

He’ll be the same puppy-eager for Luke’s hands and mouth and anything else he wants to give him that he is right now. Plus, Luke’ll get a nice little bonus for turning in a runaway.

This is shaping up to be an excellent vacation.

[hizashis-lil-bunbun]

BNHA Valentine’s Day Headcanons!

Happy first day of February! Some of my Discord friends and I were brainstorming how different My Hero characters would celebrate Valentine’s Day. So let’s give ‘em a whirl! All characters are adults or aged up to be 18+ in these scenarios.

Big thanks to @varnienne, @emmappelle, @sweet-darling91, @donica95​, and @katsontherun for letting me bounce ideas off of them. 💖

⚠️MOSTLY FLUFF BUT THERE IS SOME NSFW AHEAD!⚠️

Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic)

SFW

Gotta start with my blonde bby. And the best way I can describe his ideal Valentine’s is BIG and LOUD!

He’s never been one shy away from telling you how he feels, but he’s especially talkative on V-Day. Going on and on about how lucky he is, how much he loves you, etc.

It’s love songs all day, baby! From blasting modern pop songs while he makes breakfast to sweet, old-fashioned tunes that he makes you slow dance with him to in the living room. He’s a true romantic (and a surprisingly good dancer to boot).

And he might even (re: definitely will) serenade you. The man is a musician after all! In fact, don’t be surprised if Hizashi wrote a song just for you.

As far as gifts go, Hizashi goes all out. He’s a hero and a celebrity, with the salaries to match. So you can expect a few big ticket items. Plus, he’s a good listener. If you ever mentioned something you needed/wanted/expressed interest in, chances are it will arrive wrapped up in red and pink paper on the day.

“Hey little listener! Remember how ya said you might wanna try painting? No? Well I turned the spare room into a studio for ya anyways! Maybe you can make me something to hang up at the station, yeah?”

But just because his gifts are expensive and flashy, that doesn’t mean he devalues your own. Hizashi will blubber and gush over anything you give him, from lavish luxuries to a something as simple as a homemade card. Loudly I might add. Make sure to have earplugs handy.

Unfortunately, one of the drawbacks of having a radio star as your partner is that he’ll most likely have to work on Valentine’s Day. It’s even worse if he had teach that day as well. So don’t count on any fancy dinners until after the 14th.

But if you tune into his station on the day (and you will), there will be at least three or four songs dedicated to “his favorite little listener.”

NSFW

Even if he can’t be with you on the actual night, he’s definitely going to make up for lost time. Mood music, candlelight, the whole nine yards. He wants to romance you. To make you feel as good as you make him feel everyday.

Oral and overstimulation are the name of the game, and Hizashi is a giver through and through. He’s happy as a clam once he’s got his face buried between your legs, making you cum for the umpteenth time that night. Seriously, does he ever come up for air?

Praise is also a big thing for him. It flows from his mouth like the sweetest wine. And with his quirk, every whispered word and groan against your body feels just as intoxicating. Good vibrations indeed.

He also loves it when you’re vocal. No love song can compete with the way you cry and moan under his touch. He’ll make you sing for him all night long and into the morning hours.

“Damn, baby. I love you so damn much. Love the way you look cumming on my tongue. Think you can do it again?”

Eijiro Kirishima

SFW

Okay. This boy adores Valentine’s Day! Like it’s his favorite holiday.

And how can he not? Everything in the stores is red! He can stock up on red merchandise for the rest of the year in the span of a week. And believe me, he does.

This means his partner should expect a lot of the cliché gifts on the big day: teddy bears, heart-shaped boxes, and red roses to name a few. Oh, and he’s definitely got a stockpile of cheesy, punny Valentine cards centered around his and his friend’s hero personas.

His favorite is the one that says “I think you’re a Red Riot! Be my Valentine?” But maybe that’s partially because it came from you.

Kirishima doesn’t just shower you with crimson trinkets; he buys treats for everyone! Especially his closest friends. To him, Valentine’s is all about showing the people he loves most just how much he cares. And it’s honestly adorable to see him practically bouncing off the walls in excitement when he finds a little red treasure for this year’s celebration.

“Babe! Look at that red shark plushie. It looks just like me! So manly!”

*proceeds to buy seven of them: one for him, one for you, and one for everyone in the Bakusquad + Tetsutetsu*

But at the end of the day, once all the chocolates and stuffed animals have been given away, he’ll make sure you know there’s no one he loves more than you. He spends the final hours alone with you, eating a home cooked meal and cuddling on the couch. Times like these are his favorite, just being to hold you close and appreciate your presence in his life.

Fair warning though. You’ll probably end up watching some some cheesy romcom, cuz he loves those too.

NSFW

Of course, the red theme continues in the bedroom: red rose petals, red sheets, even a set of red lingerie he bought just for the occasion. Which he proceeds to rip apart minutes after you’ve gotten them on. Hope they weren’t too expensive.

Kirishima tries to be gentle with you, he really does. Savoring your pleasure and letting your orgasms crest and fall naturally. He wants to see you cooing and boneless by the end of the night.

But sometimes he underestimates his own strength and gets a little rougher than expected. Maybe he gives too sharp of a love bite, or squeezes your hips a little too hard. But it’s all done out of passionate love, so you don’t mind too much.

You might actually prefer it if he gets a little rougher.

However, if you wanna get kinky, there is one thing Kiri’s always down for: pulling you over his knee for a good, old-fashioned spanking. His quirk is perfect for it, hardening the palm of his hand just before it smacks down on the soft flesh. It’s like he has a set of built-in paddles. Trust me, if you let him get into a good rhythm, by the end of the night your ass will match the Valentine’s decor perfectly.

“Not pushing you too hard am I, beautiful? I know I can be unbreakable sometimes, but I never want to break you. I love you too much to do that.”

Mirio Togata

SFW

TBH, before he met you, Mirio was a bit of a player (which is kinda canon). Like “has a different date every year” player.

And can you blame him? He’s a total heartbreaker with that (le)million dollar smile and those baby blue eyes. He got so much Valentine’s chocolate from girls in high school, it was sickening! But with you, things are different.

For starters, he’s not so big on material gifts. Giving or receiving.

“How could I want anything more when I’ve got my sunshine right here?”

No, this sweet himbo is all about making memories with his partner! Sharing experiences and spending as much quality time together as possible.

So he plans everything days, sometimes weeks, in advance. Budgeting his time and money to squeeze as much love into a single day as humanly possible.

The moment you wake up on February 14th, he hits the ground running. Quite literally! He’s practically doing laps around your bedroom in his excitement to get the day started.

Valentine’s Day with Mirio turns out to be a marathon of couple activities. Bike riding to a local café for breakfast. Sight-seeing in Tokyo followed by ice cream in the afternoon. He even manages to sniff out a carnival for you to go to in the evening, letting you run amok on the rides and games. And yes, he definitely spends too much money trying to win you one of those giant stuffed animals.

By the end of the day, you’re thoroughly spent and just want to snuggle up next to him. And maybe have a late night snack of chocolate. Mirio is more than happy to indulge you, even offering to carry you home. Anything to be close to his precious sunshine.

NSFW

Despite your sleepiness and aching feet, Mirio insists he has one last surprise to give you. So he asks you to lay face-down on the bed and wait for him. Naked of course.

Once he finds what he’s looking for, he straddles your tailbone with his thighs and squirts something slippery onto your back. You yelp at the cold sensation and that earns a laugh from Mirio. He tells you it’s massage oil. One specifically designed to relieve muscle tension.

It’s like he knew you’d be sore after his day of non-stop adventuring. Almost like he planned it... What a smooth criminal.

It makes sense though. Maybe it’s because his quirk requires him to pass through things, but physical touch is his primary love language. Nothing grounds him quite like having you in his arms, worshiping every inch of your body.

He works you over, kneading at the muscles in your back, hips, and legs with steady pressure and prescision. He even rubs your feet, making the earlier pains melt away into bliss.

You’re almost too sleepy and relaxed to realize one of his hands is creeping up your body until it’s too late. Next thing you know, he’s curling his fingers into you, amplifying the pleasure of the massage in a new way. Like I said, Mirio’s a smooth criminal when he wants to be.

“Feeling good, sunshine? Yeah, I’ll bet you are. You always look so cute like this... just makes me want to kiss you all over. Maybe I will! But I think you’re still a little tense right... here.”

[jamespotterthefirst]

Hi Bree! I enjoyed reading your headcannon of L&E's children! It was such a fun read, I'm hooked with their family life 🥰 Because of this, I got inspired to come up with a Q&A for the kiddos. The interview is set 12 years after Lilac & Ethan became new parents. You will be answering as the AllenSey kids (with special appearances of Lilac & Ethan, as well). Hope you enjoy 'em! x

—

For Jonah, Dolores, Jasmine & Violet:

• If someone gave you $100 what would you do with it?

• If you could change any rule, which one would it be?

• Where is your favorite place to go on vacation?

• Most likely to hide a stray pet?

• Most likely to tell a lie to get out of trouble?

• Most likely to steal their sibling's secret stash (food/toys/new stuff/etc.)?

• What do your mum & dad do in their free time?

• What is the one thing mum & dad is not good at?

• What do you admire most about mummy & daddy?

🧡

For Lilac & Ethan:

• What made you laugh today?

• Did someone get in trouble recently? If so, what happened?

• What are the hardest & easiest parts about parenting?

• What are the unexpected perks of parenthood?

• What advice would you give to younger versions of yourselves when you've just became new parents?

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER THOUGH? I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU THANK YOU

For context, Jonah is 12, Dolores 9, and Violet and Jasmine are 6

For Jonah, Dolores, Jasmine & Violet:

• If someone gave you $100 what would you do with it?

Jasmine: Squishies!

Dolores: Yeah, so you'll stop stealing mine.

Jasmine: That was Violet.

Violet: I gave them back.

Dolores: After Minnie destroyed them.

Jonah: I would invest it.

Jasmine: What's ingest?

Jonah: Invest, like how Dad told us? That's why we have the beach house in Cape Cod?

Jasmine: I thought we had that because Dad owns the hospital?

Violet: Or because Mom is famous?

Jonah: *sighs* No, they double their money through compound interest when they invest.

Sisters: *stare blankly*

Jonah: Remember? When he sat us down that one time and explained the Rule of 72? If we take 72 and divide it by the annual interest rate, then we get the amount of years those $100 will double. So if I invest it at a rate of 5%, it will take 14 years to double.

Violet: ...

Jasmine: ...

Dolores: ... So you will be *counts with her fingers* 26 and have $200?

Jonah: Exactly.

Jasmine: *horrified* No, thank you. I want my money right now.

Jonah: If you invest--

Jasmine: I'm here for a good time, not a long time, big bro.

• If you could change any rule, which one would it be?

Dolores: The "no electronics after dinner" rule. I want to play Roblox with my friends before bed.

Jonah: I would change the "if you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone." Sometimes I want to break things apart and put them back together but Mom won't let me.

Violet: Leaving Jenner out in the yard during dinner is cruel. He's part of the family. He should be inside with us.

Dolores: Dad only made up that rule because you feed him half of your dinner.

Violet: Because he's a growing boy! He needs food.

Jasmine: I would change the "treat people and property with kindness or respect" rule. Sometimes I just want to kick a toy of my way after a long day--

Lilac: *throws her "the look" from the distance*

Jasmine: *falls silent*

• Where is your favorite place to go on vacation?

Jonah: Providence with Grandpa Alan. He always takes us to the zoo or WaterFire. It's so much fun.

Dolores: California with abuelitos and tia Laurel. They take us to Disneyland every time!

Jasmine: Not fair! Last time we went, we couldn't get on any rides.

Dolores: Because you two are literal babies?

Jasmine: At least I don't sound like one.

Violet: Or smell like one.

• Most likely to hide a stray pet?

*All of the siblings point at Dolores in unison*

Jasmine: She hid Minnie from Mom and Dad last year for a good week before they found out.

Jonah: And convinced them to let us keep her.

Violet: Dad isn't convinced yet.

Dolores: They're becoming friends! Minnie let him pet her for like two seconds the other day. Before she bit him. It was so funny.

• Most likely to tell a lie to get out of trouble?

*All of them point at Jasmine*

Jasmine: What? Dad said it reminds him of mom. He said she can talk her way out of getting arrested.

Jonah: Out of getting a ticket. They're different.

Dolores: Oh yeah, because the Policeman liked mom. Liked liked her.

Jasmine: Dad was not happy about that.

• Most likely to steal their sibling's secret stash (food/toys/new stuff/etc.)?

*They all point at Violet*

Violet: I give it back!

Jonah: After Mom makes you.

Jasmine: Or after Jenner, Minnie, or you break them.

Dolores: Yeah, Violent doesn't know her own strength.

• What do your mum & dad do in their free time?

Dolores: They love to drop us off at Aunt Sienna's and disappear all night.

Jasmine: We don't mind though because she always makes us the best chocolate chip cookies ever.

Violet: I like going to Uncle Elijah's. His video games are so cool.

Jonah: I like it at Uncle Bryce's. One time, he let me break their toaster apart and showed me how to put it back together.

Dolores: Yeah, Mom was not a fan of that.

• What is the one thing mum & dad is not good at?

Dolores: Dad is not a good liar.

*They all agree*

Jonah: I remember the time Jenner ripped the boots Tia Laurel had given Mom. He told us not to say anything.

Jasmine: Oh yeah, he said Mom wouldn't even notice.

Dolores: But then as soon as she got home, he panicked and asked her what size shoe she was. Then told her he was going to the store to buy something really quick.

Jonah: Mom figured it out right away.

• What do you admire most about mummy & daddy?

Dolores: That they're doctors.

Jonah: That they save lives.

Jasmine: That they own the hospital.

Violet: That they're famous.

🧡

For Lilac & Ethan:

• What made you laugh today?

Lilac: Probably Jonah explaining the Rule of 72 to his sisters.

Ethan: *proudly* Definitely. And the girls having none of it.

Lilac: Imagine what they'll say when they find out you once drew a one dollar salary.

Ethan: I will never live it down. I already get enough taunting from you. I'd never survive it if all four of them join in.

• Did someone get in trouble recently? If so, what happened?

Lilac: *nods solemnly* The usual suspects.

Ethan: Dolores and Jasmine.

Lilac: Jasmine somehow hacked into her Roblox account and deleted all her friends. It was a bloodbath.

• What are the hardest & easiest parts about parenting?

Ethan: Figuring out what the hell is Roblox?

Ethan: It's a delicate balance that is achieved through fairness and consistency.

Lilac: *laughing* This is why I had to take care of that incident.

Lilac: The hardest part of parenting is finding a balance between being a disciplinarian but also someone they can approach and trust. It's terrifying to think that in holding them accountable when they make a mistake, you risk them resenting you.

Lilac: The best part is definitely watching them become their own person, with distinct interests and personalities.

Ethan: Absolutely.

• What are the unexpected perks of parenthood?

Ethan: Having four extra pairs of hands to do chores around the house.

Lilac: *laughs and smacks his arm*

Ethan: *raising his brows at her* Don't tell me you don't enjoy not having to worry about dishes for the next 12 years?

Lilac: *scrunches nose* You're right. I don't miss those. It's no wonder you finally listened to my argument that the dishwasher wasn't the best way to get them clean.

Ethan: That's because we've acquired four little dish washers since.

• What advice would you give to younger versions of yourselves when you've just became new parents?

Lilac: Just try your best.

Ethan: Don't say "and have fun."

Lilac: What? It's true!

Ethan: My advice to our younger selves would be: "However scared or anxious you are feeling right now, I promise you... It's ten times worse."

Dr. Ramsey is just being overdramatic with the last one. He loves being a dad. OMG this was so fun! Thank you so much, my love!

[bimoonchilde]

Stay Gold

(a short continuation of this and this)

She's not evil, no. She just gets sick and imagines committing atrocities. But it's kinda cute, in the very same way peaches is cute when she does the but wiggle before pouncing on a Peggie.

"I swear I'm beginning to.." sneeze "...maybe think Jacob's right."

Some moron had managed to get himself stuck in the pickliest of pickles, having gotten himself tangled in some barbed wire in what would have been an epic 'hold my beer' moment had he been wearing a belt, so his pants didn't fall around his ankles... And trip him in said barbed wire.

"These morons can't give me a few mothefuckin days, can they?" She grumbling, growling, and swearing like a sailor, making his eyes widen with every word out of her normally kind and considerate mouth.

"Fuckin cunts." Oh Jesus Christ, he almost blushed tomato red.

Sharky found himself, for once, stunned silent. He didn't know what to say and not risk his most tender of bits. Hell, he'd hear of people getting sick and being crybabies, cuddly, or just plain quiet and sleepy. But never in his near thirty years of life had he ever seen anyone get sick and ready to end everyone's shit.

"If I get my hands on those morons I swear." Another sneeze as she started getting dressed, damn near tripping over her own feet.

"Whoa there, Shorty, you ain't going anywhere." Yeah, he's risking it.

"Eli asked me to help em out, Shark. I gotta go."

"Y'ain't gotta do shit but sit your perky little ass back in bed and get better."

She shot him a look, a glare that would have had him needing to change his underwear, if she didn't look so damn pitiful, the sweat having made her blue baby hairs stick to her forehead, looking like she was about to pass out on him, again.

"Look, if ya go out there in your condition, you're easy pickings for the chosen, I only managed to keep Jacob and a few others inside that place. Please, just stay?" The incident in question got him and Hurk a reaming from her, but Sharky stood firm on it, refusing to apologize for what he did. He was genuinely worried about her well being, unable to imagine what kinda person he'd turn into if she got hurt on his watch.

"Fine, but Eli needs someone out there."

A voice came over the radio, a woman who was cussing like a sailor, fed up with whatever she was doing.

"Hey Dep, ya just sit tight, ain't nobody wanna catch whatever you got, okay? You probably look like shit, too." He watched as the first smile he'd seen from her in days light up her face, feeling himself get all gooey in the inside. Sweet Jesus, he was in love.

"Thanks Jess, I owe ya one."

"Nah, just keep that ick to yourself, Jess out." Bless Jess, bless Jess and her crazy scary, violent little heart.

"See? You ain't the only competent person around here, ya know?" She shot him a look... "Hey, don't give me that look, I only set my pants on fire that one time. And Hurk was the one who spilled gas on me, thank you very much."

She laughed as she wiggled herself back out of her jeans, tucking herself up under his arm. He pressed a kiss to her temple, pulling the blanket around her tiny, give foot five inch form.

"Can I just say, I'd still like to thin out the gene pool. Who fuckin' runs through barbed wire on purpose?"

Sophomore year of highschool. Him, Hurk, and Nick raced each other through it on a hundred dollar pot to the winner, but he decided to keep that little story to himself until it'd get the laugh it deserved.

"Yeah, right? What kinda fucknuts would do that? Anyway, what do ya wanna watch? I got just about everything."

"The Outsiders. I love that movie."

He did too, so he made quick work of turning it in for her, settling back into bed, mentally preparing himself. The movie never failed to make him cry.

Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.

"If you hear me sniffling, you gave me whatever you got, capiche?"