#but yeah I'm fine ty
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ANYSYA I HOPE UOURE ALRIGHT FROM THE BLOOD DRAIN. EAT CHOCOLATE IF U CAN
Don't worry I'm alright! This is like a monthly occurrence to me. I'm a Regular at the lab. I get discounts /srs
#jay rambles about life.txt#currently at a cafe living my best life with a cup of hot chocolate#I'm still offended at the lack of a protein bar but like in a fond/silly way because it's strawberry flavour#like it's so good. it's just the best thing#but I think they ran out because it's Sunday? or just forgot. I hope it's not a permanent thing because some people complained about them :(#jay gets asks.txt#but yeah I'm fine ty
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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#soudam#kazuichi souda#gundham tanaka#sonia nevermind#danganronpa#danganronpa 2#danganronpa fanart#oh yeah while i'm here i'll just post this too#old art but#i still love soudam with all my heart#they're so special to me uehhhh uehuehuhe#edit: sorry idrk how tumblr works yet (i come from twitter)#but this is only soudam#any other ship between these three make me uncomfy#i'm fine if you see it any other way tho i just wanted to put it out there#ok that's it ty#chibi's art/rkgk
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do not let the leafs fans fool you, no one in the history of mankind has suffered more than sharks fans
#clapping and cheering for joe pavelski as if i'm not 3 seconds away from tying a cinderblock around my neck and jumping into the pool#how long until they pull out the ol' chart of players with the most playoff goals without a cup#and its thornton pavelski marleau couture#that one is always a classic#idk if its still true. i hope so. we deserve that#lest we remember the reason we DONT have him is (1) evander k*ne's contract that ???? yeah and (2) doug wilson thought he was too old#mind you that was the same doug wilson that signed jumbo and marleau at age 40#whatever though like its fine its super fine i mean its fine#erik's gonna leave this offseason too but you know. at least noah gregor got his fucking hat trick#its fine. love california hockey :)
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please don't use he/him to refer to byan, thank u
#i used to say it was okay but things have developed since then and it's not okay anymore#mistakes are fine - we all make 'em. even i catch myself accidentally writing he sometimes i'm not gonna get upset about that#but uh. yeah. they/them only ty#even back when i'd say he/him was okay i was always kinda :x when people chose that over they/them#bc i have only ever referred to byan with they/them UNLESS it was in a thread with someone who used he/him back when it was okay#it's always been pretty clear which pronouns have been preferred#so. yeah. if you have a problem using they/them kindly leave#if you have a problem with non-binary and/or trans people just go thank u#this isn't directed at anyone specific i'm just. in a mood rn.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ psa ⋮ sleep in a well-lit room / don't let the shadow through.
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Bye I just saw someone with my art as there pfp giggling and kicking my feet twirling my hair
#Like yeah you liked it but you really.. Liked it?#And it's that one fucking Scott and Todd drawing I did in like an hour and it got like 1000 likes for some reason bye.#Anyway it's fine to use my art for pfp and stuff Idm dw abt it#Maybe just tell me abt it so I can see ^o^#I'm trying to only post when I have good stuff or snthn cos I feel like if I post text after actual art it doesn't get shown#Okaii that's all for my rant ty to that person :3
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also, i am dealing with a big old brain slump and having dumb negative emotional things which are wholly imposter syndrome and depression related and not accurate i'm having a hard time convincing myself to write bc my brain is doing that whole nobody really likes your blog / writing / existence thing that happens and i know that's not true but brains are stupid, so right now i'm just letting a random number generator tell me what to reply to bc otherwise i'm just going to sit here and be miserable, so please know that i love you all and all the plots i have going with john mean the world to me and if i've been shitty about replying to memes / drafts / plotting or whatever it's absolutely not you it's just my brain being fucking stupid and ilu all.
#OOC.#its not you its literally me#my brain hates me bc it's stupid#this time of year is hard for me even if i know my two oldest kiddos are 'okay' it's still hard#there's a whole long backstory but yeah#i miss my kids and even if i've been able to talk to them a few times in the last couple years i missed almost all their lives bc their dad#is a jackass and asdlkfj it's just a thing#i'm fine#it just sucks#can't ever get that time back#ANYWAY#love you guys ty for putting up with me#kidnapping mention tw#kinda#i guess
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Because I'm in my 30's too and I feel like an ignorant kid who is lost. I can't seem to grasp the meaning of adulthood and feel accomplished as one, also when I was a kid I saw adults as people who had their shit together and know Lotta stuff meanwhile I am just an grown up with no knowledge about life.
:0
#I get what you mean anon#coz I feel that way too#but in all honesty....the thing about what you thought about adults...I mean sure they might got their shit tgt in some aspects of their-#life#but am pretty sure there are times when they are lost as well just like us?#and also its okay for you to not be the 'adult' you think you are supposed to be atp and age#we grow in our own time and heck if it takes more than in my 30's to be able to feel like a proper adult it's fine..#all i'm saying is..dont put pressure on yourself coz we are aging#to learn and know all the things about being a proper adult as you think...#take your time and just do what you can for now coz seriously that's what matters in the end#dont let the number get to you anon#do everything in your own pace and dont let anybody tell you that you have to be this kind of person now when in fact..all of us struggle to#be an adult really#eh#idk if what am saying is giving you anything tbh lol but ty#for somehow talking to me about this 🥹#am glad to know a fellow someone who is also in their 30's now and having the same feeling as me ;-;#let's grow as much as we can anon! one step at a time still yeah? ^^#i rambled a lot so am sorry if you are reading this long reply lol
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GOD AWOFEIJAOWIFE
i just got distracted looking through my writing tag and it's so unfathomably heterosexual????? this was only started in like 2017, that doesn't even feel that long ago. i really wrestled through the comphet in record time lmao
#THERE'S SO MUCH C*LLEN SMUT LORD HELP ME WHY DID I WRITE ALL OF THIS#AND WHY DID I CHOOSE HIM TO LATCH ONTO#okayokay i know why: i fucking hated myself so his hating himself was relatable and i was mostly writing him being completely and totally -#- enamored w a hot lady. okay. fine. yeah i get it BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT#i have this horrifying realization every time i look at my old writing lmao aoweijfaoiwef i have deleted most of it but god#it's just aoiefjaoiwf so weird that i'm the same person that wrote all of this#and before anyone talks shit about me calling it comphet when i thought i was bi/pan: IT WAS COMPHET LEAVE ME ALONE IT'S MY EXPERIENCE TY#negative#delete later probably#*dykeposting
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honestly i should interact w my moots more w/o fear. just come into your askboxes asking you to please see ffxiv zero and dod zero and etc
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i love women ..... and drakenier and ffxiv and etc#i am too shy and socially anxious and awkward sorry i can't do things randomly. got to have some sort of incentive#WHICH IS WEIRD bcs i'm perfectly fine w someone coming to me and showing me idk a snail they saw on their roof. do snails go on roofs#yeah idk ..... anyway ty tumblr i've overcome my anxiety a bit more but also tumblr Is the anxiety. ???
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#okay rant time lol. spoilers for 6x18#i think i will have to say that this may have been my least favourite of all 6b episodes#haha ik i should probably give myself time to process the episode but idk i'd rather just write everything out#i just. just yesterday i was complaining about some people treating 911 like it's the buck show and today... it was the buck show?#and like! an episode being extra focused on one character is absolutely fine!! great even!! i really enjoyed 6x11!!#but in the season finale you expect each character to get a more equitable amount of focus right?#and like. even 4x14 which had a significantly less focus on eddie than one might expect had the will scene#and maddie had a bit less focus in that episode too but even she quit her job and it was obvious she was Going Through Stuff#and these slightly restricted screentimes gave jumping off points for their respective very spectacular s5 arcs#but this episode? like it wasn't that it didn't focus on other characters but it was mostly buck#and... idk man it does make sense given that he had the longest running plotlines this season but also#i just wish we had focused more on other characters as well#and like? as for buck? the couch?#i'll be honest i'm disappointed they introduced romance this season for buck at all when the season began with him choosing to be single#i really thought he wouldn't date at all for this one season at least yk?#and yeah ik we live in an amatonormative world but cmooon a guy can have his happy ending without getting together with someone#also bucktalia feels a little odd to me rn especially given the number of false starts they had#if they'd done this exact same storyline but at the beginning of next season i'd probably love it... right now tho i'm very meh over it#as in there is potential but it's like... idk mannnn why do we need him to end up with someone at allllll... i'm too aro for this shit#starting something new this close to the end of the season instead of tying off the two arcs that were already ongoing for him#was certainly a choice#aah well. at least natalia seems good for him. she came back which is the most important thing buck would want in a partner right?#still tho. i really wish we'd gotten to know more about the new henren baby than we did#i wish we'd gotten to see madney discussing plans instead of just the exact moment where they decide they want to marry on the patio#i wish we'd gotten the entire conversation that lead up to chris hyping (or snarking at) eddie to call marisol#i wish we'd gotten bathena hurriedly packing for their trip and may making fun of them as she helps#i just wish we'd gotten more of others!!#oh well. at least we still got chimney time and captain hen and cheddie working together and hen and eddie leaning on each other#you win some you lose some i guess#anyways if you actually read all the way til down here thank you for your time hehe
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Wow. Seeing fully uncensored untagged real life gore on my dash was not on my 2025 bingo list. But uhm.
Uhhhm...
#yea i don't even know how to continue this lmao#caught me off guard. so bad#i was like wow. this shit realistic as fu-- oh its real. haha ooooh its real okay fine cool okay. wow haha....wtf#look guys I'm gonna do something that many ppl dont know how to do#its called#tagging your shit appropriately#tw gore mention#cw gore mention#tag your shit#i beg of you#pofazing#was depating whether i should post this but fuck it bro have some fucking decency will you#bc i had the coolest day and i still am having the coolest day. but what if it wasnt me who saw that shit#fuck tagging your posts for all I care but at least put a fucking content label on it#certain settings and functions exist so ppl can use them in situations and this is EXACTLY that situation where you NEED to use it#post Whatever The Fuck really I (personally) dont care. at all. but keep in mind that NOT EVERYONE'S GONNA WANT TO SEE THAT#ppl who like seeing that stuff are going to find your content either way#but this way ppl who do NOT want to see that shit are going to find it too. and it IS going to get reported#so ur doing damage to those ppl as well as yourself#or your content or whatever#but hey#im just a guy on the internet you dont have to listen to me#No one has to#I'm allowed to express my frustratiom tho so HERE I AM EXPRESSING IT#but yeah whatever#this was my rant for today ty for listening lol
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if some of the games exist within the canon universe of fnaf can the memes exist too, like do some people go "hor hor hor hor hor hor" is that canon
#fnaf#five nights at freddy’s#screw it I'm tying this into my streamer au#Michael just goes “horhorhorhor” on his shifts or something while snickering to himself#Gabriel (the spirit inside OG Freddy) knows what he's referring to (toreador march) he just is super confused on why this guard is laughing#you know what screw it again#Glamrock Freddy also goes “horhorhor” sometimes and the crowd goes wild#the other glamrocks have no idea what people are talking about when they say “can you go horhorhor” but Freddy knows. oh Freddy knows.#you know maybe horhorhor is Freddy's failsafe when talking to an adult lol#like he'll have OBS in the back of his programming running (he's upkeeping the streamer grindset 💪💪💪💪) and someone'll ask him something#he's so zonked out and laser focused on beating UCN or something that he'll just go “uhhh yeah yeah...uhhh hor hor hor ho-”#It would be funny if he's had numerous software maintenance checks because people complain sometimes Freddy looks out of it lol#maybe when they inspect him everything looks fine...don't ask me how tho lol#idk maybe Michael can use his super cool ghost abilities to just manipulate his software#what even would he have on there....lets see;#all the fnaf games ofc ofc....maybe minecraft or cod or csgo....twitch ofc ofc...valo too lmao#again don't ask me how he hides his gamer stash#tag rambles! theyre fun lol
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RIGHT???
COMING!!
#< prev#yeah i'm fine ty#it's just a really terrible cough and i feel kinda crappy but that's it#and i will thank you (*´∀`)♪#make sure to take care of yourself as well!! ( ≧∀≦)ノ
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makes both michael and william car guys ( to varying extents ) -> has to research cars
#☽—— ⸢ ooc ⸥#f n a f /#.tbd.#do i LOOK like i know anything abt cars <- person whose dad was a car guy and YET#anyway yeah this is abt the fic i supposedly didn't wanna write#so yeah i guess the car william passed down to mike was a 1983 el camino because it had to be flashy (william) but not TOO flashy (mike)#and also couldn't be made in 1987 which was SHOCKINGLY difficult to find like you'd be surprised#i wanted it to be p new tho and yeah i know haha 1983 but mike didn't get it THAT year#like we can make jokes abt 1983 1985 AND 1987 let's move on (i'm kidding i'm making the jokes too)#i had a v specific image of the style of the car in my head which def narrowed down options#now i have to deal with the fact that the damn el camino had a BED and not a TRUNK#which honestly william probably loved but why am i making michael tie shit down to essentially a truck bed#also i'm going to be blunt there's no backseat makeout session now HOWEVER. i do like truck beds. car beds? whatever.#am i going to have to write the words 'car bed' in this fic. will i have to describe that this car has a bed???? fucking HELP ME#william and his stupid ass taste and also the fact that michael loves this goddamn car#michael making them go in the most inconvenient fucking vehicle VS jeremy's perfectly fine functional (less cool) car#anyway on another note when i was looking up what the interior looked like for reference#i saw one with a purple interior and laughed out loud#i PROMISE i won't do that to mike. that's just going too far.#i'm already making him strap shit to the back of a car bed i promise he doesn't have to have a purple interior OR exterior#btw yes the whole tying shit down IS going to be a joke in the fic i assure you
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thinkin abt omori specifically from an ocd perspective. in the final boss fight, omori is constantly, literally every turn, accusing sunny and harassing him and threatening him etc etc etc. on my most recent playthrough, it honestly shocked me how similar he sounded to my own intrusive thoughts. and even after all that sunny's done, you, the player, know: omori is wrong. sunny made a mistake. then he made another, and another and another and another until they piled up so much he couldn't bear to leave the house, and when he was home, he couldn't bear to leave his mind. even after all that: sunny still, absolutely, deserves to live. his friends love him. his friends care about him. his friends forgave him. his friends want him there, alive, talking to them, and if he can't talk then they'd be okay with him staying with them and if he can't stay then they'd be okay just knowing... he's alive.
#chirping#intrustive thoughts tw#ocd tw#ask to tag#uhh what else#sui ideation tw#yeah ask to tag#omori spoilers#i made a similar post to this yesterday but i felt i didn't elaborate enough...#oh but i've gotten help meds therapy all that so dw dw abt me. i'm fine#but intrusive thoughts fucking suck!!! so i wanna talk abt how cool omori is. honestly? p healing#ugh ughhhh i hate intrusive thoughts. literally all day was perfect and fine and good and then One Thing Happens and my ocd goes batshit#the worst part? i don't even know if there's anything to worry abt!! ugh#also /nbh this is abt my coworker lmao#i mean. unless she's on tumblr. if so hiiii um. hii...?#also ok2rb if ur niceys to me. ty
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