#but yeah I should really make a pie chart at some point of how many of the Moon Knights around here are women

[age-of-moonknight]

“Moon Debt,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #20.

Writer: Danny Lore; Penciler and Inker: Ray-Anthony Height; Colorists: Le Beau Underwood and Scott Hanna; Letterer: Cory Petit

[battybatzgirl]

Hey Mr. Sandman, You Missed a Spot

AO3

Summary: 

It's not that Hunter doesn't ever sleep, Eda's come to realize. It was that he falls asleep sporadically, most of the time in really weird places.

Or: 5 times Eda catches Hunter taking a nap

Part 1 of the Finders Keepers Series

---

Here’s the thing about Eda: she loves naps. Eda likes to be cozy, so usually, that equated to curling up under a blanket, lazing around, and falling asleep. The Owl Beast shared that sentiment, the creature that lived within her constantly wanting to nest. Those animalistic instincts were weird, but when you lived in a house with a demon who also liked to bury himself under a pile of stuffed animals, you kind of got used to it.

Here’s the thing about Hunter: he doesn’t sleep.

The kid has been living with them for only about two weeks, officially replacing Eda as Public Enemy Numero Uno in the eyes of the Emperor. When he’d showed up on Hooty’s doorstep, all bloody and barely conscious, Eda thought it was some kind of cosmic trick. The Powers That Be had to be pulling her leg because this was the second time the leader of the Emperor’s Coven had shown up to the Owl House with nowhere else to go.

Luz had been ecstatic to welcome him in, apparently excited to finally fulfill her dreams of becoming a middle child in their weird little found family. King was less thrilled, but eventually warmed up to the idea of Hunter staying with them as long as he taught King his secrets on how to command an army.

Hunter himself even seemed unnerved at the thought of living with them. He tried to leave a few times when he was still wounded, but his little bird palisman (Rascal, she’s heard him say) effectively herded him back into the house by continuously dive-bombing him and nipping at his ears. And after Belos put out a wanted poster for the kid, making him the Isles’ number one most wanted traitor, leaving wasn’t really an option. Not if he wanted to stay alive.

So eventually, Hunter begrudgingly accepted that yeah, he lived in the Owl House now.

And alright, Eda isn’t heartless. The kid was lost, wounded, and an enemy of the Emperor. She can work with that.

Getting to know him has been a challenge, though. Hunter has a lot of weird quirks. He holds himself so seriously that Eda has a hard time remembering that he’s a teenager and not a fully grown middle-aged man. He hardly ever smiles. He’s jumpy, practically jolting out of his skin every time you walk into the same room. He’s clearly Going Through Some Shit, as Eda so eloquently calls it, remembering how Lily went through the same thing when she slowly broke free of Belos’s freaky subjugation.

But still. The kid doesn’t sleep.

Eda first notices it around day four of his residence. She’s up early to go to the market, stepping into the living room and nearly transforming into her Harpy Form out of pure shock when she sees a figure messing with her bookshelf in the back of the room. Wide maroon eyes lock on hers from across the room and she feels the feathers that sprung to her skin recede.

“Titan, kid,” she breaths, “You nearly killed me. What are you doing up? It’s Saturday, you should be sleeping in.”

“Um…I did sleep in,” Hunter responds, as if it’s obvious.

Eda feels a frown tug at her lips, “The sun isn’t even up yet.”

The kid just shrugs a little lamely, and Eda feels a twinge of concern in her chest. (And ugh, feeling concerned for a guy who dangled you over the Boiling Sea is certainly weird.) If this was sleeping in for him, he couldn’t have rested more than five hours.

She steps closer, taking a second look at what he’s doing. Half the books are spread out on the floor, the other half stacked neatly back on the shelves in some kind of order.

He notices her looking, “I, uh, took the liberty of reorganizing your bookshelf. Or organizing it, since it didn’t really seem to have a system.” The kid ducks his head, the tips of his ears flushing pink. “I- I can put it back the way it was if you want, or organize them in a different way.”

That’s another thing about Hunter: he always has to be doing something. Being useful. Without direction, he crumples. It was always, What do you want me to do now, Miss Clawthorne this and I completed this task, Miss Clawthorne, what’s next that. His brain operated on a transactional level—I do this thing for you, you do this thing for me. And since Eda was housing him, he felt like he had to constantly be doing things for her. Constantly proving himself worthy to be here, repaying her. Hunter couldn’t seem to wrap his head around that she didn’t want him to do anything except stay comfortable.

Eda has thought up a hundred different little tasks for him to do in just his first four days. She’s running out of odd jobs to give him, and if she has to keep telling him what to do she’s going to start pulling out her hair.

“You’re fine, kid,” she says. “Keep doin’ what you’re doin’ if it makes ya happy. But you shouldn’t be up this early. You should at least take a nap later.”

Hunter tilts his head. “But that wouldn’t be accomplishing anything.”

“You don’t hafta be working all the time,” Eda stresses. “It’s okay to sit around and just exist once and a while. Actually, I think that should be your priority. Take a nap, relax, go cloud watching, take a walk—any or all of the above.”

“That sounds like doing nothing.”

“That’s because it is doing nothing.”

His face hardens, taking on that soldier-like seriousness that encompasses his entire demeanor. “Being lazy can’t be a priority.”

“Don’t think of it like that, then,” Eda almost snaps, wishing for a nice hot mug of apple blood. It was too damn early to deal with the repercussions of Belos’s all-work-no-play mindset. “Think of it as acting your age. Did you ever get to take naps as a kid in the Emperor’s Coven? Is relaxing just a foreign concept to you?”

He doesn’t answer, staring at her with those bagged eyes and guarded expression, and Eda throws up her hands in defeat.

She leaves then, her patience running too thin to continue arguing with him. She doubts he’ll actually go back to sleep. He probably goes back to doing whatever he was doing with that bookshelf. Eda makes a mental note to tell King to knock all the books off, just so Hunter can reorganize it later. Just for something for him to keep him occupied.

1.

Eda doesn’t even notice the first time it happens. It was one of Luz’s friends, Gus, who pointed it out.

The kids were gathered at her home after school, spread out on the floor of the living room along with various pillows and blankets. Luz found some card game she knew buried somewhere in the piles of human trash Eda has laying around, and the girl has been spending the better part of an hour trying to explain how it works.

“So the Wild Card doesn’t make you turn into a wild animal?” Willow questions, holding up a black card with looks like a colorful pie chart on it.

“Nope!” Luz says cheerfully. “It just becomes any color you want it to be to go with the rest of your hand.”

“But the card doesn’t actually change color?” Amity asks.

“No, it only represents the color,” Luz clarifies, and Eda has to admit, her girl has a ton of patience. She’s been quietly watching from her place on the couch, half-listening to their conversation, half-reading the Isles’ latest edition of You Gossipy Witch, a tabloid where a writer is speculating about her true form. Apparently, some people think she was raised by feral, wild owls on some far away barrier island, and has come to reside in Bonesborough just because she ran out of mutant rats to eat.

Weird.

But entertaining!

Gus holds up one of his cards, “So are blank cards bad, or—"

King jumps over his shoulder, landing on the deck of cards in the middle of their little circle and making them fly everywhere. “I have taken dominion over ALL YOUR CARDS. All of you must grovel for a taste of my wealth!”

“Actually, the point of the game is to get rid of all your cards,” Luz reminds him gently. “That way, when you get down to one card, you shout Uno! And you win! If no one else makes you draw anymore, that is.”

King deflates a little, apparently put off by the idea of less is more. “Oh.” Luz smiles and pats him on the head, and he brightens up. “Okay, let’s play, because I wanna make all of you draw as many cards as possible! You'll drown in your cards! Choke on them, even!”

As they start gathering up the cards that King threw everywhere, Gus lets out a little gasp. “You guys—is Hunter asleep?”

That immediately draws Eda’s attention away from the magazine. Her eyes flicker to the blond witch, laying on his stomach just on the edge of their group. He was still having a hard time socializing, especially with Amity, but Luz was determined to include him in all friendship activities. She said wanted to teach him how to be a kid, and hell, if anyone could knock some seriousness out of that boy it would be Luz.

Hunter is indeed asleep—his face is mushed into the forearms pillowed under his head, and his red palisman has weaseled its way to nestle in between the crook of his elbow. His breath comes out in soft little sighs, and Eda feels something in her melt.

“Awwww, he looks so peaceful,” Luz croons, mushing her palms against her cheeks. Amity’s already scooched past her, snapping photos on her scroll. Eda can’t blame her. She knows a good blackmail opportunity when she sees one.

Eda’s off the couch and catches King mid-pounce. “Whoa there, none of that buddy.”

“But Edaaaa,” the demon whines, his little arms and legs flailing in mid-air. “I have to conquer him when he least expects it!”

“Ehhh, let the kid sleep. Save your conquests for when he’s awake and can put up a fight.” Eda sets him down in his place in the circle, and the kids all glance at each other before turning back to the cards.

She notices that they’re more mindful to keep their tones softer, probably to not disturb the sleeping boy. And when Hunter wakes himself up about half an hour later, they don’t mention it, seamlessly integrating him back into their game.

2.

The second time it happens, Raine is walking Eda home. It’s early in the evening, and the pair just got done with a fabulous date—a picnic with apple blood and sweet (and stolen) baked goods? Titan, take Eda now, she’s found her perfect match.

She’s still riding that high, not noticing Raine stopping until they tug on their clasped hands. “Hey, who’s that? Is he okay?”

Eda follows where they’re pointing their finger. It’s Hunter, slumped against the base of an oak tree, fast asleep. His chin is tipped forward and a book open on his chest, and even more strangely, there’s a small pile of leaves on his lap.

“Oh, that’s just my—” Eda stops herself, the word catching in her throat. Hunter was a child in her care, yes, but he wasn’t quite her kid. Not like Luz or King. The blond witch was still too jumpy, baring his teeth and snarling at anything that tried to get close to him.

He calls her Miss Clawthorne, for Titan’s sake.

“—Hunter,” Eda finishes lamely.

Raine raises an eyebrow. “Your Hunter?”

“He’s uhhh, one of Luz’s friends who just so happens to be living with us. Not a big thing.”

Raine shoots her a deadpan look but strides forward anyway, kneeling next to the sleeping blond. They keep their voice to a low murmur, “Should we wake him? That can’t be comfortable for his neck. He’ll probably be sore later.”

“Eh, let him rest. This is more sleep than he usually gets.” Eda steps closer, kneeling down on his other side. It’s the side that has his scar, the slightly raised red tissue standing out even more so than usual now that he wasn’t constantly moving. She’s almost asked him how he got it, but he’s clearly sensitive about the subject. She’s seen the similar marks on his arms, and something tells her there are a whole lot more scars that he’s hiding.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who gave them to him.

Still, it’s hard to ignore just how young he looks. When he’s stripped of all of his snappy comebacks, quick defenses, and that guarded demeanor Belos forced onto him, he’s reduced to exactly what he should be:

A kid.

“Oh!” Raine startles in surprise. Eda looks up to see the cardinal palisman fluttering down from above them, carrying a few leaves in its beak. It hops down onto Hunter’s lap and deposits the leaves in the little growing pile on his leg.

A smile worms its way onto Eda’s face. She runs a finger across the little bird’s head, “Trying to keep him warm, huh?” The bird lets out a trilling note of confirmation. She lets the bird be, turning back to Raine, “I think Rascal’s got this covered. If he hasn’t come in before nightfall I’ll come out and get ‘em.”

The bard casts one last glance down at the sleeping boy before they stand. “Y’know, he kind of reminds me of someone.”

“Oh yeah?” Eda weaves her arm through Raine’s as the pair reassumes their walk.

“Yeah,” Raine hums. “He kind of has the same build as someone I met when I was held hostage in the Emperor’s palace. The Golden Guard. Did you hear that he ran away from the palace? There've been rumors that the Emperor himself is tearing apart the Right Arm looking for him.”

“Uh, about that...”

Raine stops, turning to look at her square in the face. Eda gives them a sheepish, toothy grin.

“Oh my god,” Raine says. “You adopted the Golden Guard?”

“Hey now, adopted is a very strong word—”

The bard cuts her off with a delighted laugh. “How am I not surprised?” Eda feels heat rise to her face, but can’t help but return Raine’s infectious smile. “Only you, Eda. Only you.”

3.

The third time it happens, Eda’s passing through the upstairs hallway, intent on curling up into her nest for an afternoon nap of her own. She hears a shuffling noise as she passes by the glorified storage closet that they gave Hunter as a room, and can’t resist a peek inside.

What she finds is definitely…not what she was expecting. Hunter is laying flat on his back on the floor, his feet elevated on the little cot they’d given him. Yeesh, that couldn’t be comfortable. Soft snores woosh past his open lips, his face turned toward a crystal ball that’s playing some cartoon he must have been watching before he fell asleep.

His body is nearly covered in stuffed animals.

“King,” Eda hisses. The horned perpetrator is in the middle of dumping his entire army onto the blond witch’s chest, pinning down his arms with plushies. “What did I tell you about burying people alive?”

The demon pauses from where he’s been slowly arranging his army over Hunter’s sleeping form. “He’s got plenty of room to breathe! I didn’t cover his face,” King protests. “Can’t subjugate someone who’s dead.”

“No subjugating—” your brother, she almost says, “—Hunter.”

King squints at her, but then grumbles and starts slowly taking the stuffed animals off the boy’s body. Crisis averted, Eda slips back out into the hall, mind swirling. That was the second time she’d almost referred to Hunter as hers in passing. The feeling is too raw to speak out loud yet, but there’s a growing warmth in her as she watches Hunter acclimate to his surroundings in the Owl House. With every day that goes by, he’s more comfortable around her, around Luz and King and Hooty, and he’s starting to come out of his shell. He’s growing softer, less quick to snarl, becoming more Hunter and less Golden Guard.

Unconsciously, Eda’s started viewing him as part of their little family. Two weeks ago, that thought would have made her uncomfortable. Now, she welcomes it with open arms.

Ugh, she’s getting so soft.

4.

The fourth time it happens is when Eda’s flying home from visiting Lilith. She’s only been gone for the day, and is hoping that leaving Luz in charge hasn’t led to any freak fires, the resurrection of the dead, or other various natural disasters. Unfortunately, even her most responsible kid is pretty reckless, so Eda’s expectations are set pretty low.

It’s probably sometime around 2 a.m. when she makes it home sweet home. She swoops in close, intent on landing on the front door but stilling mid-air when she sees something on the roof of the tower. Even from up here, it’s not hard to distinguish the form of a looming body.

Eda’s heart leaps into her throat and she takes Owlbert down into a dive. Her body is tense when she lands, her staff already aimed toward the person lurking by the edge of the roof. “Alright listen bucko, you better step back or—wait.” She sees what looks like a lump of feathers sitting on top of the person’s head, and Eda squints in the darkness. She quickly pulls out a light glyph, sending the tiny ball of sun forward.

“Hunter?!” Eda’s tense posture relaxes. The kid doesn’t answer, and it takes her a beat to figure out why. He’s dead asleep, slumped precariously over the telescope they use for stargazing. Eda has no idea how he’s even standing at all. Kid probably had a ton of practice of falling asleep on his feet during long, boring meetings with the Emperor.

“Wakey, wakey.” She places her hand on his shoulder, gently, but he wakes up with a full-body jerk, startling the palisman on top of his head. The cardinal chirps once in irritation, fluttering to rest on Eda’s shoulder instead.

Hunter’s eyes are wild for a moment until he seems to register where he is and who he’s with. He relaxes then, letting out a yawn so huge it would put any lion to shame. “…Eda?”

“The one and only,” Eda says, ignoring how her heart squeezes at the kid finally calling her by her name. “Wanna tell me why you’re up here in the middle of the night?”

“Waitin’ for you,” he mumbles, voice rough with sleep. His eyelids drop and he sways dangerously on his feet. “Wanted to… t’make sure y’got home safe.”

The warmth in her chest expands and eclipses her entire body in that fuzzy feeling she gets whenever one of her kids does something particularly adorable. Thank Titan it’s dark and Hunter is too out of it to notice the smile that spreads across her face. If he was fully awake, Eda gets the feeling that A) he probably never would have admitted that he was worried about her, and B) would have snapped at her for smiling at him like that. “Well, I’m home now, so let’s get you to bed before you topple over.”

Eda wraps her arm around his waist and nudges him along, practically carrying him back downstairs, their palismen following close behind. She doesn’t mind. Someone had to make sure he didn’t fall off the roof.

“Night, kid,” she says, tucking him under the blankets on his cot. Hunter doesn’t respond, already having slipped back into unconsciousness. And if she brushes his bangs tenderly out of his face, no one ever has to be the wiser.

5.

The fifth time it happens, Eda’s gotten used to it. It's not that Hunter doesn’t sleep, she’s come to realize. He just falls asleep in weird places. Why, she has no idea, but honestly, the kid looked so tired all the time, she wasn’t going to question it. They had bigger things to worry about.

The Day of Unity is just around the corner, and Belos has become more irritating than ever.

Eda hadn’t even thought that was possible for him, but apparently, it was. The scouts around Bonesborough have tripled, their captains leading more and more raids, butting into shops to check everyone’s papers, and invading random districts.

Oddly, Belos’s priorities seem to have shifted. He’s still sending out grunts to round up any wild witches, but the guards have been playing a weird sort of hide-and-seek, going beyond just patrolling the marketplaces to actually tearing into people’s homes. From what she’s heard, the guards never take anything, just searching the place top-to-bottom before leaving empty-handed and moving on to the next house.

Belos was looking for something.

And unfortunately, Eda’s got a pretty good idea of what he’s after.

Said thing just so happens to be slumped across from her at the kitchen table, dead to the world. It’s late into the night, and most of the kids have already gone to sleep. Too on edge to lie down, Eda’s been keeping herself busy by concocting more potions while the late-night news plays on her crystal ball in the background.

Hunter, striving to be helpful, volunteered to stay up and help.

It wasn’t long before the kid slowly started to nod off, face supported by his palm as his eyelids started to droop. He’d been in the middle of mixing two ingredients—highly flammable ingredients, mind you—and Eda plucked the vials out of his lax grip just in time. Honestly, it was a miracle the kid never killed himself in the Emperor’s Coven with how randomly he falls asleep.

He probably never got the chance to sleep at all, a voice reminds her. She remembers how dead-exhausted Lily was during her first few days at the Owl House. It was probably safe to assume that the Emperor had a habit of running the head of his Coven into the ground.

Hunter has been picking up on Belos’s tightening grip, too. He’s been getting quieter, more reserved. He’s come to the same conclusion that Eda has: the Emperor was tearing apart the whole of the Isles to get him back.

Why, though, is anyone’s guess. Hunter has long since explained that his uncle always said that the Titan had big plans for him, and it probably has something to do with the Day of Unity, but beyond that, the Emperor had always kept him in the dark. Luz has a crazy theory involving clones and blood magic, but that sounds like it’s a plot point straight out of one of her Azura books. King thinks Belos wants his artificial staff back, and Hooty predicts the Emperor is just sad because all his Coven leaders are leaving him to join Hooty’s superior best friends club.

Whatever the reason, Eda’s made it pretty clear that she’s not gonna bend to Belos’s intimidation tactics and turn him over. That smarmy gold jerk could set the whole Isles on fire and Eda still wouldn’t hand him over. Hunter’s part of the Bad Girl’s Coven now, and Belos can just suck it. And she’s not afraid to say that to his stupid face, either.

So when the cauldron at the end of the table that holds the scrying potion suddenly begins bubbling on its own, Eda may very well get her chance.

She’s up on her feet in an instant, dashing to the other end of the table just as the steam rising off the potion begins to warp into a familiar figure.

“Edalyn,” Belos greets, his voice sharp like a dagger. “I do hope I’m not interrupting your evening, but I needed a word with you.”

Ugh, scrying potions weren’t supposed to work both ways! Belos was too damn powerful. He could probably peer into their lives as much as they could peer into his.

“Sorry, but now’s a bad time,” Eda shoots back. “Why don’t you hang up and call back literally never?”

“It’s come to my attention that you have something of mine,” the masked man continues smoothly as if she hadn’t spoken. “I’d ever so appreciate it if you gave it back.”

Eda’s lip curls back, feeling the itch of feathers poking out of her joints. She wants to shift into her harpy form and leap through the potion to claw out his eyes. “Sorry, Belos,” she says, dripping smug bravado, “We wild witches operate solely under the laws of finders keepers. Your kid? Mine now.”

Eda expects that the Emperor would very much like to vaporize her. “Make your threats wisely, Owl Lady. You have no idea what you’re up against. Everything will be easier for you and your little friends if you just hand the boy back over to me.”

“Fat chance.” Eda throws back her shoulders and shoots him a sharp grin. “Sounds to me like you’re threatening one of my kids, and we weirdos stick together. Going after one of us is basically asking for all of us to bring you down. Remember how well that went last time? How my human cracked your mask and publicly humiliated you during your big let’s-turn-Eda-to-stone ceremony?”

The Emperor looks as though he has some choice words to say, but Eda doesn’t care. Hunter is her kid now. She glowers at him through that mist, voice lowering in with deadly promise. “You’ll have to drag him back to your Coven over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged,” sneers Belos.

“Try me, antler boy.” Then Eda whacks the cauldron and sends it tipping over the edge of the table. The connection is immediately severed as the potion goes splattering over the hardwood, and the resounding CLANG of the bowl makes Hunter shoot violently out of sleep.

“Huh?! Whassit—Eda? What happened? Are you alright?”

“Fine, kid,” she says, swallowing down the rage that’s still bubbling hot in her throat. “’S alright, just got a little clumsy and knocked over a cauldron. Sorry for waking you.”

“Sorry for falling asleep,” Hunter responds. He grabs a towel and hurries to clean up the oozing purple goo.

Eda waves him off, “Eh, I don’t mind. You kids need your rest. Growing bodies and all that.”

Hunter still hesitates, looking at her for a beat too long as if double-checking to make sure she wasn’t really upset. Eda holds back a sigh, a twinge of pity flickering through her that he’d even have to look at her like that in the first place. All the damage from Belos couldn’t be wrapped up in a month, she supposed.

She snatches up the cauldron, still dripping with the ruined potion. Peachy. She’ll have to call Lilith to get her scrying potion recipe. Though maybe not having this in the house was a good idea. Eda doesn’t want to risk His Royal Highness dropping in on any more unexpected house calls.

“Eda?”

She looks up at Hunter. The kid chewing on his bottom lip, wringing the half-soiled towel between scarred hands.

“I just…I wanted to say thank you,” Hunter says shyly. “I know having me here hasn’t exactly been easy—not only because of the fugitive thing, but because I’m…” He flounders for a moment, and Eda can only pretend to know what’s going through his mind right now. “…me,” he finishes finally. “You’ve been so kind and patient with me, it’s so much more than I deserve, and no matter what happens next—”

“Hey, no.” Eda cuts him off with a swift and gentle beratement. She sets the cauldron on the table and crowds closer to him, curling one hand around his cheek. The kid automatically leans into the touch, and Eda can’t help but wonder how Belos could have ever hurt a child who was as sweet as this one.

“You may be one bratty little shit, but you’re my bratty little shit. And Mama says you deserve all the smothering that comes with being a child of the Owl Lady.”

Then, to prove her point, she swoops down and quickly places feather-light kisses on the tip of his nose, forehead, and his scar, until Hunter squawks and shoves her away. He’s practically glowing, flushed all the way to the tips of his ears.

“Gross,” he snaps, rubbing furiously at his face. “I’m never helping you with your potions ever again.”

“I’ll accept your terms. Now get upstairs, it’s way past your bedtime.”

“I don’t have a bedtime, I’m not a baby.” Hunter sticks out his tongue but obeys, slipping out of the kitchen and disappearing into the rest of the house. Eda shakes her head as she watches him go.

Kids. What could ya do with ‘em?

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 70 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 76 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 74 responses

Although the response to this week’s episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 95.9% of responses giving the episode 3 or higher, it was a bit lower in comparison to the previous one. 

Epic

Very amazing a 💯/10✊

I loved it, as always

Gabi episode? NO BUENO.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING GABI AND FALCO MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 74 responses

Gabi and Falco’s escapades took up the vast majority of the episode, so we wanted to know which one of them was your favorite. An equal amount of respondents (28.4%) seemed to prefer either the moment wherein Gabi came under attack from that perfidious horse or Kaya remembering Sasha and how she saved her life years ago. Closely behind those (25.7%) are the folks preferring the argument between Gabi and Kaya. Another semi-popular option was the scene wherein Kaya showed Gabi and Falco her former village.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS FOCUSING ON OTHER CHARACTERS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 73 responses

We also had a fair bit of scenes focused on characters besides Gabi and Falco. For this question, there was a rather noted diversity in opinions. 24.7% seemed privy to seeing a recurrence of Mikasa’s headache and the flashback to Eren’s killing of the traffickers. 15.1% were most interested in seeing Hange remember Sannes’ warning about the cycle. An equal number of responses (13.7%) were most interested in either seeing the discussion between Magath and the rest of the Warriors on their further actions or seeing Hange confront Floch and the rest of the recruits about their recent actions in regards to Eren. Finally, 11% said that their favorite moment was either seeing the conversation between Mikasa and Louise or the conversation between the warriors and shirtless Reiner. A few folks also indicated their enjoyment of the scene wherein Hange was heckled by the civilians or the conversation between Pixis and Yelena.

WHICH FLASHBACK HAD THE MOST EMOTIONAL IMPACT FOR YOU? 73 responses

We’ve had a few small flashbacks in this episode and it seems like the definitive majority (58.9%) enjoyed the flashback about Kaya getting saved by Sasha. 26% were most privy to seeing Mikasa remember Eren killing the kidnappers many years ago and 13.7% enjoyed seeing Hange remember Sannes’ warning. One person liked catching the sight of Mikasa’s actions in Trost.

RATE JEAN’S OUTFIT 73 responses

Jean decided to try out a new style, courtesy of Coco Chanel, the Paradis Collection. Not too many were impressed, however, with only 34.8% giving Jean’s fit a 4 or a 5. 24.7% gave it a 3, the rest gave it a lower score.

WHO WERE YOU MORE EXCITED ABOUT TO SEE SHIRTLESS? 72 responses

It looks like Eren won this round when it comes to the showdown of AoT’s rare fan service scenes with 75%. 

AOT men are immaculate

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO YELENA? 73 responses

Yelena looks to be a rather popular girl, with 53.4% of respondents noting that they would totally appreciate an opportunity to talk to her. 23.3% aren’t sure and 11% really wouldn’t, in contrast. 12.3% simply don’t care.

WHICH NEW DETAIL DID YOU GET MOST EXCITED ABOUT? 72 responses

For this question, we got a rather colorful pie chart. 26.4% of respondents stated that the existence of a flying boat fueled by iceburst stones is the most interesting detail. That was followed by, in order from more interesting to less interesting according to the poll takers, Blouse family’s involvement with Historia’s orphanage, Yelena making contact with Eren beforehand, the girl Sasha saved in Episode 2 of S2 being Kaya’s identity, the confirmation that Louise was the girl Mikasa saved back in Trost and fact that Floch and his co-minded folks leaked information about Eren to the press and the existence of Eren’s “home”.

GABI SPENDS A LOT OF THE EPISODE SPOUTING OUT THE THINGS SHE’S BEEN BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE, A CONTRAST TO FALCO WHO IS MUCH MORE OPEN-MINDED. THOUGHTS? 72 responses

Gabi shouted out a lot of questionable things in this episode, at various points. We’ve asked how the respondents felt about it. The plurality, 37.5% simply saw it as a rather sad state for her. In contrast, 27.8% were actually annoyed with her for that. 16.7% thought that it might have been, perhaps, a result of her attempting to fool herself. We also received a lot of write-ins.

Gabi's IQ is a bit low or she has been brainwashed harder than others

I think it’s just hard for her to see it any other way because she is so young. She was starting to be shaped like reigner, Annie bertholdt. 

I understand why she acts like that. Doesn't make it any less annoying tho

I feel so bad for her. Marleyan propaganda and indoctrination is one hell of a drug

Gabi sucks and she just is a trash character

She's just a kid trying to deal with a lot of trauma and new contradicting information whilst also having a winning attitude. Her negative feelings toward Eldians is familiar and so constant hatred is just a coping mechanism.

It only makes sense for her to act this way. Falco and Colt had to join the warriors unit to redeem their uncle’s crimes as part of the restorationists. Gabi has been praised and fed false propaganda her whole life, so yes she would have a harder time rejecting her race’s past history. Children are easier to manipulate/brainwash than adults.

I think she’s clinging to what she knew because she had based her whole identity and goals in life off of these facts. Admitting that these things might not be true would be like denying who she is?? Y’know 

Immovable object (my hatred for Gabi because I find her annoying and she killed Sasha) vs unstoppable force (me recognizing she is a child in a traumatic situation who has been brainwashed and raised to believe she must atone for things she is not actually responsible for)

A bit annoying, but I'm hopeful that she will slowly change her mind. Maybe due to realizing Sasha was actually a good person through Kaya/seeing she's no different from them?

HOW DO YOU THINK GABI’S BELIEFS WOULD HAVE DEVELOPED HAD SHE BEEN THE ONE TO MEET EREN INSTEAD OF FALCO? 73 responses

An interesting what-if comes about when thinking about Gabi possibly meeting Eren instead of Falco all those weeks ago and how that would have impacted her personal beliefs. A slight majority (50.7%) believe it wouldn’t have changed much, if at all as a result of that possible meeting. 20.5% think that Gabi would have taken somewhat of a middle-ground position when taking her current and Falco’s current beliefs into account. 17.8% can’t really say for sure and 8.2% don’t seem to care. Only a few believe that Gabi would have started to feeling differently back then.

GABI SEEMS TO BE GENUINELY SCARED WHEN INITIALLY EATING AT THE BLOUSE’S HOME. ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW BADLY DID YOU FEEL FOR HER? 73 responses

It doesn’t appear that Gabi has garnered that much sympathy for her near breakdown, with 49.3% noting that they really didn’t feel much, if any, sympathy for Gabi. In contrast, 50.6% said that they felt some noted degree of sympathy, mostly on a moderate scale. 

It makes me sick to my stomach seeing Sasha's family just treating Gabi so nicely. I know they don't know she's Sasha's killer but I'd really like to see them go horror-flick on her ass and kill her when they learn the truth

THERE SEEMS TO BE A CLASHING OF IDEOLOGIES BETWEEN HANGE AND FLOCH REGARDING WHAT’S BEST FOR THE ISLAND. WHO WOULD YOU SIDE WITH IN THIS SITUATION? 72 responses

Floch states that Eren ensured Paradis a path to survival via the ability to initiate the rumbling, while Hange shows skepticism that the rumbling is even a probable solution to their problems, feeling they should secure their freedom in other ways. 52.8% seem to feel the same way that Hange does, while only 27.8% would take Floch’s side in this differing of views. 12.5% think neither of them are wholly correct and feel there are other options. 

Both should co-operate 

Fuck ever agreeing with Floch. Who is he to even question their authority. Sit back buddy, relax, have a breather. You only became a main character this season, nothing bads gonna happen if wittle baby ewen is in jail for COMMITING WARCRIMES and forcing his superiors to cater to him. That's lit-rally how the army works. 

I want to say I side with floch, but I don’t trust eren. 

I don’t know for sure

I think they're both right in their own way. 

dont like floch lol

Wish Gabi would've shot Floch instead of Sasha :/

REGARDLESS OF YOUR ANSWER IN THE PREVIOUS QUESTION, DO YOU THINK EREN DESERVED TO BE JAILED? 73 responses

Nearly 55% of respondents feel that Eren absolutely deserved to be jailed for his actions in Marley, regardless of how they answered the previous question. Only 35.6% feel that he was wrongfully locked up.

Jailing him is just tradition at this point 

idk

Yeah. You fuck up and you do the time. If you want to make decisions and live 'freely', don't become a soldier. Simple???

Eren did some war crimes, time to sit in the time-out box 

He definitely needs to be observed and perhaps questioned, but not jailed. I thought that wasn't really a great move. 

I don't know

How many times has Eren been in jail now? He's obviously not gonna be staying there for long

Reprimanded a little bit for not trusting his team, but didn't deserve jail

DO YOU THINK HANGE IS FALLING INTO THE CYCLE THAT SANNES WARNED THEM ABOUT? 71 responses

Hange remembers Sannes’ words about how someone always steps into the role he once played prior to the Uprising Arc. 67.6% feel that Hange, whether intentional or not, is falling into the cycle that Sannes and his comrades perpetuated for years before them. 19.7% feel the opposite, however, and believe that Hange wouldn’t let things get that bad. 

I don’t know why I can’t remember who sannes is rn. 

yes but i feel like she will realize this and try to change 

I can’t say yet

Yes, to a degree but this doesn't mean they've past the point of no return. Everything the previous government did could have started with good intentions similar to Hange now but those intentions eventually morphed and corrupted. 

i dunno

Maybe i'm not sure only time will tell

I think that can't be said for sure until we see how she acts/responds to this realization

Maybe

LOUISE SEEMS TO ADMIRE MIKASA TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION, BUT HOW DO YOU THINK MIKASA FEELS ABOUT HER? 73 responses

Half of respondents feel that Mikasa’s demeanor toward Louise stems from her feeling as though she can relate to the girl in some way. The remainder of responses were rather mixed, with 15.1% feeling that Mikasa simply feels sorry for her, and at a tie for 11%, either feel that she finds Louise annoying or is just generally indifferent toward her.

WHAT DO YOU THINK SEEMS TO BE THE TRIGGER FOR MIKASA’S SUDDEN HEADACHES? 73 responses

Mikasa’s headaches, while they don’t get much of a focus, tend to happen infrequently throughout the series. Though, her headache in episode 70 appears to be a bit more traumatic for her than ones we have seen in the past. 27.4% feel that these headaches are likely related to her Ackerman biology, while 20.5% think that it can be explained as simply PTSD. 15.1% think that it’s her “Eren sense,” so to speak. Small handfuls feel it’s something more related to Paths/The Coordinate, or a mixture of her Ackerman and Asian biology. 21.9% still aren’t really sure what to make of these. Will Isayama give us answers?!

the wine has to have something to do with it????

It's those damn ~PATHS~

HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN THE HORSE BIT GABI? 72 responses

The horse gets the gold start this week for giving Gabi a little bit of karmic justice. 65.3% appeared to enjoy the little misfortune Gabi had to endure thanks to the horse’s shenanigans. 19.4% agree that this was surely the work of devils! And 15.3% felt genuinely bad for Gabi during this moment. 

Horse !!!!!!

Wish that horse would have bit Garbage's head off xD

Horse got some revenge for Sasha! Here's hoping someone ot something else will finish her off permanently!

*falco voice* GAAAAAABIIIIII

Thank you Horse-kun!

WE ASKED THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO, BUT WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN. WILL GABI CHANGE HER VIEWS ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON PARADIS? 73 responses

56.2% of respondents feel confident that Gabi’s views of Paradis will change by the conclusion of her character arc. 12.3% are still adamant that nothing will be able to sway her views. The remainder continue to be uncertain. 

I hope gabi changes her views. But she seems pretty set 

I don't honestly know if Gabi will change her views, but killing Sasha was enough to make me ALWAYS hate her no matter what kind of development she may get

Will Gabi change? I don't know but I don't care. Nothing will undo her killing Sasha.

DO YOU THINK GABI AND FALCO WILL BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM NICOLO? 73 responses

Kaya mentions that they will be eating at a Marleyan’s restaurant and believes that said Marleyan (Nicolo) will be able to help Gabi and Falco figure out a way to return home to Marley. Nearly half of the fandom feel that they won’t be successful in getting any help from Nicolo, while only 13.7% think that he will be able to do something for them. 31.5% didn’t want to make a call either way.

REINER IS DETERMINED TO GET TO PARADIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO SAVE GABI AND FALCO. DO YOU THINK THE WARRIORS WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN RETRIEVING THEM? 72 responses

Over half of the fandom (65.3%) doesn’t have much faith in the Warriors to successfully retrieve Gabi and Falco. 20.8% feel the opposite, however, and think that their urgency is warranted. Will they get to Gabi and Falco in time?!

epic laina

WHICH QUESTION INTRODUCED IN THE EPISODE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING ANSWERED? 73 responses

With every AoT episode, we get as many questions as we do answers. This episode is not an exception. Majority of the respondents (53.4%) are interested in getting answers for all of them (What did Yelana talk to Eren about, what is up with Mikasa’s headaches, what is Hange going to investigate and why is Shiganshina being evacuated?). Out of the all of those, the Yelena-Eren convo is the most popular one.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Gabi sucks so hard, she should be much more harshly punished for killing Sasha

The scenery was beautiful!! I'm hoping we get some action soon tho

MAPPA created some beautiful imagery this episode, like the scene with Falco and Gabi at the lake so was gorgeous! Also I wanna honk Reiner's tiddies

babies, my babies. 

Gabi sucks

Doesn't really stand out, but I much preferred the pacing of this episode to the last two. I better see some damn rumbling next ep, we're getting straight edged rn with that ice plane.  I absolutely FUCKED with seeing Louise do the little salute, brought back memories of simpler times.

Gabi is garbage

I loved the episode! Beautiful callbacks to so many previous set-up/storylines. It made me reminisce a bunch. I also hope for a bit of catharsis regarding Sasha's death by the hands of Gabi. Hopefully something will click and Gabi will realize that she may be wrong in her beliefs after realizing the person she killed (Sasha) is savior Kaya had described to her. While I don't hate Gabi, I also wouldn't mind a bit of karma going her way either. 

I think this is definitely one of my favorites so far. There's a lot of interesting new pieces of info, and I'm excited to see how this stuff resolves in the end.

I hate Gabi even more

I hate Gabi SO much

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 73 responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated!

[crqstalite]

You've been visited by the random writing prompts goblin!! - Write about your character just... talking. Are they talking to themselves, or with someone else? What kind of slang or phrases do they use often? Do they have an accent?

I really should quit writing these one-on-one scenes with Kodelyn and Lali (and maybe y’know, with their actual partners) but I couldn’t get the prompt out of my head! I love them too much and Citlali’s POV is one of my favorites to write -- she goes off on a lot of tangents and I find it more funny and entertaining that anything. Way different than I write Kodelyn’s. Probably should do more shippy writing at some point, but some point is not now.

Post-war. Word count: 2,008. no warnings.

-

“Y’know, she even said she might even put a good word in for me,” Citlali leans back in her chair, grinning around her straw, “Might be a real flight lieutenant, give or take like a decade. No more stowaway-ing for me.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Yeah. Dealing with ships is more my speed than people. Biotic regiment sounds too...I don’t know, challenging? Out there? For little old me.” The younger woman sighs, throwing a hand over her forehead dramatically, “Plus I’d have to work with our dear Major Alenko of all people. As if I don’t see enough of him now, he’d be my actual CO this time around.”

“Yep.”

“Still, that’s years out when the galaxy gets it’s head back on straight. Think they’re just absurdly shortstaffed right now. Not even sure whether this is a good idea or not, I mean, I spent half my life afraid of what I could do and now? Supernova. Might as well make good use of this.” She snaps her fingers, “Like lighting...something on fire. Damn it, lost the analogy that quickly.”

“That’s great.”

Citlali straightens in her chair again, looking around the atrium and shaking her cup, ice rattling inside of the plastic. The Citadel was rebuilding, after nearly a year and a half after the war had ended, and a few wards were getting back to the idea of normal. If one went wandering, one could probably still see the scars and missing shops, homes and even nearly half a ward on the other side. Yet, here they were, at a little fast food place, still very much alive and thriving.

Suck on that, Reapers. Shepard 3, Reapers 0.

The energy in the food court is different from where it had been before the Citadel had been moved to Sol. Less nervous energy to burn, less fatalistic views being preached from every corner of the Presidium. Life was getting back to good. Summer was right around the corner on Earth at least. Less death and mass murder at the hands of the Reaper putting a dampener on dinner.

She squints at her sister. Kodelyn Shepard, entirely off duty, was still in something that made Citlali think she was going to spar with James. Offhandedly she wonders if she would ever take her up on that offer to get a full wardrobe beyond the one or two shirts, jeans and boots she owned. Considering she rarely saw Kaidan out of anything similar, she’d have to do something about that soon.

She’d always looked nice in yellow.

However, said Shepard has a smile just gently tugging at the corners of her mouth while one hand flies over her omni-tool’s keyboard, not a glance up to where Citlali is.

She’s not paying attention. Probably hasn’t been since she started talking nearly five minutes ago. Her offhanded responses have gotten better though, Kodelyn almost had her fooled that she was carrying on a two-way conversation. Probably should’ve gotten suspicious when she didn’t actually offer anything to the conversation. Or when she opened the omni-tool to begin with. Multi-tasking had always been a skill that she had, not so much one that Citlali did.

“Anything good?” Citlali reaches over the table to gently (alright, she’ll admit it wasn’t all that gentle) pull at her sister’s wrist. A quick glance at the ID tells her all she needed to as she slumps back in the chair, “Damn, speak of the devil! You haven’t been listening to a single thing I’ve said have you?”

“Hey!” Kodelyn yanks her hand back, swiping at the screen a few times, “I have been listening.” She retorts indignantly.

“Have you?” Citlali raises an eyebrow. She hasn’t been, but knowing her sister, she’s good enough at halfway paying attention to reconstruct what she’s said well enough that she wouldn’t be able to accuse her otherwise.

Damn her. Sound doesn’t turn to soup whenever multiple conversations are going on around her. Lucky.

“Yes! I have.”

“Uh huh,” Citlali gnaws at the straw, wickedly grinning when she returns to typing, “Anything dirty?”

“No!” Kodelyn yelps, closing the UI, and dropping her face into her hands as Citlali cackles at her own jab, “Would you give it a rest?”

“I would, if he didn’t take over every waking thought of yours.” Citlali playfully presses a finger into her vulnerable forehead, “Fi-an-ce, brother-in-law-to-be or otherwise, you could at least spare your maid of honor and baby sister twenty minutes of your undivided attention.”

Kodelyn softly smiles. She’s at least genuinely apologetic, leaning back into her own chair with her hands out in front of her, “I know. And I’m sorry, just...”

“I know. He’s important. This whole shing-ding you have planned for the dead of summer is important. Actually, why the middle of July? Do you know how sticky July is? How humid it is to my poor hair? And yours?” Citlali gets a bit carried away (well that was on Kodelyn, July was the month of the devil. But then again she’d never been to Vancouver in July...and she was getting carried away again), “But have you spent a single second today not on that thing?”

“You know, I don’t just use it to talk to Kaidan. There is spectre business to attend to as well. Just because the war ended didn’t mean that work did.”

“Really? You had me fooled, thought he was the only contact in there,” Citlali snickers as Kodelyn rolls her eyes, “I get it, you’re still important and you’re still really busy. I respect that. Just sometimes I just want to know what’s going on with you without having to hear it secondhand, or on my ‘tool.”

“As if you haven’t been equally quiet the last few months.”

“I haven’t! I even sent the RSVP note back. In pen. That’s how much it meant to me.”

“That was your writing? Thought Mason got ahold of it. Kaidan and I could barely tell who it was from.”

“Ok, glad we can agree our baby brother writes like a chicken, but my handwriting is not that bad!” Kodelyn snickers as Citlali pops the cap off her cup, rattling around the ice at the bottom of the cup. Pink liquid still hangs onto the cubes, which meant the last of the juice was still hiding from her. She sucks on the straw anyway, “We have all the time in the galaxy now and we still just keep missing each other. Twice you were presumed or actually dead -- three if you want to count the original battle of the Citadel, and sometimes it still doesn’t feel real that you’re sitting across from me, very much alive and kicking. Three times I had to come to terms with the fact you might actually be gone.”

Kodelyn’s expression softens at her admission, “Is that why you keep trying to invite me out to ‘girl’s nights?’ Because you just want to make sure I’m still here?”

“No that’s mostly mom, you really have to start answering those. Occasionally Tali whenever she’s here, she’s asks after you, y’know. Liara and I hang out sometimes. Not as much fun, she’s as quiet as you sometimes and I’m not an archeologist. Or information broker. Or Asari. Not much we can talk about that isn’t confidential or something way out of my realm of understanding -- not like she wants to talk about the newest extranet series either.” Citlali remarks. She did genuinely like Liara, even if their interests were on opposite sides of the galaxy. Maybe she should bother the Asari a bit more before she took off again into the unknown, wherever said unknown was. What did a Shadow Broker do all day?

Beyond the point though, “Look, I won’t get sappy, but the piece of your pie chart that’s dedicated to me means a lot. It’s good when I don’t nearly get a heart attack every time you’re on the news.”

“If it was that serious-”

“-And it’s not.”

“If it is,” Kodelyn continues, “I’ll always be here. Just a call away.”

“I had to schedule this a week in advance, Dee.” Citlali gestures with her pretty much empty cup, though backs down a moment later, “Maybe I’m being a bit ridiculous, but I can count on one hand how many just...days like this we’ve spent together since the war ended. I mean, you could probably count everyday I was in your hospital room, but those are technically invalid since you weren’t conscious for most of them.”

“You know better than anyone that I’ve been pulled in thirteen different directions at once, not all of them as fun as you make them out to be. And yeah, you’re right, maybe I haven’t been making as much of an effort as I could be to spend some 1-on-1 time with you.” Kodelyn taps her nails on the table, thinking while the conversation lulls, “You still mean everything to me Lali. I’ll be better, just give me some time to figure all of this out, okay?”

Time, all they had was time these days. And yet it felt like she’d blinked, the war happened, and she was sitting in a hospital waiting room for hours on end. Blinked again, and she found herself back in her own apartment, her own bed, her semi-old life. Startling, almost like none had passed at all between when she’d picked up that call from Miranda to now. And yet, now it didn’t feel like she was wasting any of it by pulling her sister away to do something silly or inane. Death was no longer rapping at their door with increasing ferocity, almost like a much too determined salesman. Felt like they’d managed to crucible it across the front lawn and send it scrambling.

“Yeah, of course. Just...for the record.” She shrugs. The cup is finally empty, making an ugly noise when she sucks on the straw, instead still gnawing on it, “All we have is time these days. And I’m not being sarcastic, we honestly do. We’ll see the passing of another century given something else doesn’t try to annihilate the galaxy.”

“Yeah, if they could wait until after the next Council summit as well as after the wedding, that’d be great.” Her sister says, flickering open her UI again, “I spent way too much time helping planning both of those to have them ransacked by the next Harbinger.”

“Oh yes!” Citlali grins, “Councilor Shepard-Alenko, that’ll be the day. Yes ‘Reapers’, we have dismissed that claim already.”

“I still haven’t accepted,” Kodelyn laughs, turning her wrist to show Citlali something, “And I might not, I’ll recommend Petrakis but that’s as far as I’m going to help them find a proper representative. I’m not really Councilor material, and Kaidan’s had to remind me I can’t exactly hang up on them if they’re standing right next to me.”

“Really? Finally time to kick back and settle down with you, huh? Nice little place in Vancouver? Here? Part of me is going to be surprised if I see you in anything other than a t-shirt and jeans.”

“Probably not forever, but there is a piece of my pie chart dedicated to not driving myself up the wall anymore,” She gently presses her finger into Citlali’s forehead, making her chuckle, “Not such a bad thing. And I wore that spring dress you bought for me last month.”

“The day you step back from all this,” Citlali waves her arms around them, “Is the day I eat my hat.”

“I’m capable of more than just all this.” Kodelyn gestures similarly, “It’ll be nice to step back and enjoy what we saved. Preferably not from a war room anymore.”

“Never thought I’d peel you out of one,” Citlali says, “Mrs. Kaidan Alenko.”

“You have to get tired of saying that at some point.” Kodelyn’s partially right, though it amuses her. Sort of sweet at times.

“Will I? I don’t think so.”

“Really?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow, “So how soon can I call you Mrs. Jeff Moreau?”

“New topic!”

[finleyjayne]

You Should Care

Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

1000 Follower Celebration for @justkending​! Happy Birthday~ Thank you for being so welcoming to me. Also, like really hope this doesn’t disappoint.

Text Prompt: “Yeah, go write me a 1000 page essay on it, and maybe I’ll care.”

Warnings: swearing, mild angst.

Summary: You have had enough of Steve overlooking your advice when it comes to reconstruction after his many exploits with the Avengers because you are his girlfriend. So you come up with a plan, and, with Pepper Potts help, you are going to put a solution into place. Hopefully, you can convince him that you know what you’re doing.

There was a definite divide between Captain and Steve in your relationship. It was always there, and usually, there wasn't a problem. It's important to compartmentalize when it comes to personal and work matters, but sometimes... sometimes, you just wish that he would see you as more than just his girlfriend.

Honestly, you have credentials that shouldn't be taken for granted. You had worked in war zones as a medic and relief co-ordinator. This made it increasingly difficult to accept that your sweet and caring Steve wouldn't listen to you when you brought his attention to the increasing disregard for the citizens the Avengers try to protect.

Sometimes his tactics take no consideration to the refugees that will be displaced. People who never ask for the battles to be fought near their homes. They never wanted to be there. They want to live their lives, go to work, go home, spend time with friends. Captain, doesn't see that. He sees an objective and one way to get it done. Determined to do the right thing, even if it leaves the people there worse for wear.

The last time you brought it to his attention, there was nothing that could convince him that there needed to be something to help out after. Nothing that could keep him from doing what he could to take down the HYDRA base, screw the consequences. Even when it meant destroying one of the only schools in the area. He dared to have the gall to say, "well, I know that they need the help, but I don't know how you expect us to do anymore. There isn't anything that you can expect from us."

 You couldn't take it anymore. If Captain America wouldn't change his tactics, you would change yours. After all, he did make a good point, there is only so much a single, lone soldier can do.

So here you are, walking up the front steps of Stark Enterprises to talk to not only Captain Rogers but also his team and CEO Virginia "Pepper" Potts. Taking a deep breath to force yourself to focus, you walk through the doors to start going through the heavy security of the tower. Finally, using the clearance that Steve had you get so that you could come to see him if, read when, he gets injured.

Now though, he doesn't know you're coming,  you are on my own personal mission, and he will NOT be stopping you. He will not ignore you this time. There will be no shutting you out. You are going to make sure that no more innocent people will take the brunt of the Avengers' crime-fighting. There needs to be some type of clean up crew that comes in after the fact to give these people the medical, emotional, and technological help to reconstruct the people's lives after they are hit as collateral damage.

You already know what half of them are going to say. The outlook is bright in this going in your favor, but honestly, there are no reasonable excuses. They may save the world but, if they aren't careful, they may end up breaking it in the process. People are going to start revolting against their help. You want to prevent that, and this plan is just one step in that direction. They do good, but they need to be a little better at managing collateral damage. You know for a fact that the PR department of Stark tech has been up their asses about it. It's one of the main things Steve complains about after his rarely-talked-about missions.

Sighing, you walk into the elevator. "Hello, Future Mrs. Rogers, I take it you are here to see Mr. Rogers?"

"No, Jarvis, I am actually here for my meeting with Ms. Potts and the Team," you state, rolling my eyes at Tony's inability to call me my name, even through his AI. "Will you take me to floor 39? And don't let Captain Rogers know I am here, please."

"No problem, Miss. I will envoke Ice Out Capcicle Protocol 7."

Head held high, you give a slight nod. No time to dwell on the fact that Tony programmed a protocol to keep someone from running into Steve at the moment. You don't even know if you want to know why it needed to be coded.

Stepping off the elevator, you are met by the glorious visage that is Pepper Potts. From her perfectly-quaffed hair to the stylish yet functional clothing, her appearance practically screams I have authority, do as I say.

You give her a timid smile, "Ms. Potts, Thank you for seeing me today. I hope this meeting goes as well as you lead me to believe it would."

"{Y/N}, as I've told you before, call me Pepper. I read your proposal, and honestly, I have been looking for a fix to this problem ever since Tony came out with his alias as Iron Man. It's as if you could read my mind. Now, all we have to do is make the team aware."

Your smile grew more genuine, "Well then, we still have a whole battle in front of us. God only knows what the Captain will think when he knows that I've been working on this. He can be such an old man sometimes."

"Well, even if he complains, he knows full well that this is what you have been trained to do. That's more than he can say about his own beginning." Pepper says with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, let's get this battle underway, why don't we?" you answer, already looking forward to this presentation being over.

Going into the meeting room, you take your place at the head of the table, setting your briefcase down. "Jarvis, can you bring up the folder ARF onto the Holoscreen?"

"Of course, Miss." Was the prompt reply. Soon following, a set of photos, pie charts, graphs, and other little snippets projecting into the air above the table. "The team will be arriving in the next five minutes, along with Director Fury. Would you like anything else in the meantime?"

"Thank you, Jarvis. I don't think I need anything else." You say.

"Jarvis, is Tony's lab still on lockdown from this morning?" Pepper asked from her seat to the right. Her eyes still scanning over something on her StarkPad.

"Yes, Ms. Potts, he is on his way."

"Good." Right as she responds, the majority of the team comes in taking their preferred seats around the table. Their faces show a mix of curiosity, suspicion, and confusion at seeing me there.

Steeling my nerves as best you can, you stand going through the photos and graphs, ordering them for later reference and shrinking them so that they are out of the way until you need them. Chatter fills the room as their conversations continue. With a faint smile, you look up to watch Steve and Tony walk into the room, followed by a cantankerous Director Fury.

With one look, Steve smirks. "Hi, honey, I didn't expect you to visit today."

You smile, "Yeah, I have a meeting for that new project I've been working on." His eyes flash with confusion as he opens his mouth. Before he can speak, you cut him off, "Welcome, General Ross, it's good that you could make it. Now that everyone is here, we can start." Hopefully, Steve didn't ruin this.  

"Thank you for having me, Ms. Potts said that you had a solution to some of our concerns?" His brow scrunches in concern as he folds his arms over his chest.

"Indeed, she has. {Y/N} has been a lifesaver with a new project that Stark Industries is undertaking to proactively increase the security of the world's opinions on the Avengers. It will also help with reconstruction after world catastrophes like the Invasion of New York, should something like that happen again." Pepper explains, "Not to mention, it will be a big help to the Avengers PR team."

You give Pepper a thankful smile before turning to start the meeting only to have my mouth filled with Tony's voice.

"Wait? Roger's Housewife is the Humanitarian Aide-specialist you've been talking to and raving about for the past month? Really?" Tony barks as you smirk, finding his eyes shine with intrigue as he looks you over.

"Tony, your misogyny is showing," Natasha probes with an eye-roll.

"But she..."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Mr. Stark. Anyway, as Ms. Potts was saying, I've noticed a negative trend, and I want to help." Flicking your hand, you shower the table with images of towns, both before and after Avengers' battles have taken place near, or in them. "The Avengers do essential work, but every time there is a battle or an operation, many innocent people are harmed or injured. People that don't have anything to do with the conflict. Some of those people will never be able to save themselves from the devastation that has been rained down around them. Between the buildings that have been crushed, the people who are injured, and the emotional and mental trauma that comes from not being safe in your own home, full economies have collapsed. As of right now, there is nothing in place to clean up after the Avengers take down whatever big bad comes out of the shadows."

Looking around, you see the director is following along with a skeptical look, Natasha is smirking like she already knew what you were going to say and approved. Clint is wholly zoned out; upon further inspection, you see his hearing aids on the table. Tony is glaring, probably thinking about his own solutions to the problem, while Rhodey is smiling in encouragement. Skimming over the rest, your eyes catch Steve's glower. Notably pissed at you for bringing this up in a more formal environment.

"That is where I come in. As some of you know, I used to be a wartime medic, and as Mr. Stark has previously stated, I am now a certified Humanitarian Aide Specialist. It used to be my job to take care of the people displaced by wars like those in the Middle East. In my time there, I have been able to help many people by rebuilding their little pieces of the world. I have put together a team of Medics, Contractors, Therapists, Teachers, Farmers, and others to go in after the Avengers to play clean up. To make it so that we don't cause more harm than good. To keep us as the good guys in people's eyes."

After you were done speaking, the room was silent. You met their eyes, keeping your breath even as you waited to be interrupted. After a few beats, you realized that they were all intently listening, even Steve looked like he was listening intently to your compromise.

You have to swallow the lump in your throat before speaking, "The first response team consists of Trauma Specialists with field medic experience lead by myself. Along with a crew of Hotshots and Firefighters. The secondary response depends on what is needed, all focusing on rebuilding affected infrastructures and betterment within the economies of these countries. They will be working with the respective governments to help not only restore but also improve upon what was lost. I recruited them from many places. Most of them are personal contacts from my time overseas and locally. All of them are cleared by both Jarvis' background check and SHEILD's screening. I don't know if this is going to work, but I cannot stand aside and let you devastate the lives of any more innocent people without at least trying to help."

 Taking a deep breath, you look up into their faces. Their expressions were a mixed bag of emotions. Pepper was smiling at me encouragingly as the rest of the Avengers' faces seemed very accepting of this proposal, Rhodey, Natasha, and Tony looked the most impressed. Steve was glowering at a graph set hovering by his seat, trying to figure out exactly how bad he should feel for ignoring your expertise. Fury was the only one who seemed unsold on the benefits of this situation.

"And why exactly should I be interested in this, Ms. {Y/L/N}. From what you've said so far, none of this concerns SHIELD or the work that they do.

"Well sir, although they are an independent organization, they do tend to reflect on the world's view of America-"

"- I am a very busy man and don't have time for this. Write me a 1000 page essay on it, and maybe I'll care." Fury interrupted.

"One step ahead of you. Here is my thesis on defense by building infrastructure. A 1,297 word debrief on why you should give this your stamp of approval and help. And finally, A contract with stark enterprises to co-operate and co-fund ARF or the Avenger Relief Foundation. Already gone over by Agent Hill, all you have to do is sign it." You calmly reply, sliding him a folder of the stated documents on top of a bound copy of your thesis.

Fury glowers at you through his one healthy eye. "Well, I see you've done the leg work. I'll give it a once over and be back with you." He grumbles, grabbing the folder and leaving the thesis. "I don't have time for that." He calls over his shoulder on his way out the door.

"Well, whether or not fury gives his okay on this project, Stark Industries has already started preparations to pick up and implement the ideas you've presented to us, {Y/N}." Pepper states. "I look forward to working with you and can't wait to see your successes."

With that, everyone nodded, giving their congratulations and well wishes. Leaving just you and Steve, who is still enraptured in the data you had put together.

Unwilling to start this conversation, you walk around the conference table to pick up the thesis.

"I owe you an apology, {Y/N}," Steve stated.

You look at him through your lashes at the corner of your eye. "What exactly for, Captain?" you ask, busying yourself with your briefcase as he stood there looking apologetically at you.

"You were right, I just didn't want to listen. I didn't want you to be right because it would mean that for the last couple of years, I've been ignoring the people I've vowed to protect." He says, going back to looking at the images still being projected over the space. "I am sorry that I didn't listen to you when you told me that there were ways to change. I still don't really like the idea of you putting yourself into more danger, but I can see why we need this.  I am proud of you for following your heart." Steve says, looking at you, earnestness filling his blue eyes.

"You did save them from the big bad, and sometimes it's harder to admit we are wrong than we would like it to be. I forgive you, but next time I say something, at least try to be open. I may act like your typical 50's Housewife, but I can assure you I will kick your ass. We are a team, I am here to help you, just as much as you are here for me." You tell him as you come over to him, brushing your arm down his arm sweetly.

" How did I get to be such a lucky man?" He asks, giving you a dopey grin.

"You didn't do anything. You are just Steve. Now that I know you aren't going to skin me alive for fighting this battle, do you wanna go out to lunch?" You blush, picking up your briefcase.

"Whatever you want, sugar. I gotta show the world how beautiful and smart my best girl is. I mean, she is going to save the world, one village at a time." Steve says, wrapping you in his giant arms.

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

Mötley Crüe Christmas Imagines

A/N: Guess who decided to post a Christmas fic when Christmas is over? Me! ( I just hope they don’t suck, lol)

Vince

“I can’t believe you did all this, for me!” You said as soon as entering your house.

Every Christmas decoration was already set up: the Christmas tree looked beautiful with all the colorful lights and the golden balls. Also a wonderful breakfast was placed on the kitchen table. Your boyfriend Vince shrugged his shoulder ( like it was not that big of a deal), then he smiled, not with his usual charming smirk but with a genuine smile.

“Well I know that you’d be tired from your night shift, and well Christmas is a stressful period, so I wanted to help !” He said opening his arms, waiting for you to come.

It’d always blow your mind how the Vince you knew was so different from the one that the rest of the world was used to know. He was kind, generous and sweet, other than like a sex machine; surely you two weren’t saints, but he could be also romantic. Many people didn’t get that, and that’s why a first they tried to convince you to not date him, but you were glad that you didn’t listen to them, you ended up with the sweetest boyfriend ever.

You crashed in his arms and he picked you up, bridal style, then he placed you on the couch. You two kissed passionately but, when you tried to spice things up, you noticed two mugs of hot chocolate; you started to smile widely since you loved drinking white hot chocolate at Christmas.

“How do you know that I loved white chocolate specifically?”

“Well… your mother could have told me that the last time we visited your parents.”

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world !” You affirmed happily.

“Well my love, I think we should eat something and then you go right to sleep !” He stated serious.

“But it’s Christmas Eve !” You protested like a baby.

“Yeah and I need you to be awake tonight for opening your present !”

“ You mean my presents.”

“Yep those, too !” He said with a malicious smirk.

You punched him playfully then you went to grab the trays on the table and bring them in the living room. Vince already put the TV on a stupid Christmas movie, while you went to his side and you two started cuddling.

When you turned your gaze towards the window, you noticed that everything was white. Was it really snowing or you were just dreaming?

“Vinnie, it’s snowing outside !” You said excited as a little baby.

“Well we better go to see it, then!” He replied and picked you up, walking towards the door. You tried to fight while laughing, but his grip was strong.

When he arrived in front of it, he simply stopped, turned you to face him and place a soft kiss on your lips.

“Later we will do a snow balls battle. If you win, you can make me do whatever you want for the night, if I do, I decide!” You decided.

“If you want to do dirty things to me, you can just ask.” He replied with a malicious smirk.

“ Nice try baby, but I really want to see that film, now!”

Both of you sat on the couch again, Vince embraced sweetly while he played softly with your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling.

Everything seemed so perfect, almost a Christmas miracle.

Nikki

You opened your eyes, your heart still pounding in your chest as you went to turn at the other side of the bed. There was nobody.

You started panicking, rushing to the kitchen as soon as you could. Today was Christmas, and you were well aware what happened one year ago to this very day : your boyfriend Nikki overdosed, died and was brought back to life; also you had just dreamed about losing him again, waking up only to find and empty bed and it seemed like your nightmare had become reality.

But as soon as you entered into the kitchen, you could hear some soft noises. Nikki was kneeled on the floor, searching into some cupboards something that you didn’t know for sure.

“A-Are you okay Nik?” You asked worried, and your boyfriend turned in your direction. He had to see the concern written on your face, because he rushed to your side, crushing you in a hug.

“Is there something wrong, babe?”

"I-It's s-silly don't worry about it!" You dismissed it.

You didn't want to admit that you were scared to lose him again. It was supposed to be an happy day and you didn't want to bring the mood down.

"Nothing about you is silly, you can talk to me !"

"I- I woke up and you weren't there. S-So I-I thought that you were gone, again. Like last year." You whispered the last part, too scared that if you said that out loud, it'd be reality.

Nikki pulled you to him even tightly, as he started to whisper sweet nothing into your ears.

"I'm so sorry honey ! I woke up early and I wanted to surprise you but I couldn't find a thing. I didn't mean to scare you !" He said sadly, as he started to rub some circles on your back to calm you down.

"It's okay Nikki! You're so thoughtful. It was just a stupid fear, you are here now!" You said like it was still hard to believe it.

"I'm so sorry to have put you in so much pain. Wanna set up the last decoration while I cook some eggnog and we play some dumb board games?"

You nodded weekly than started to heading towards some boxes put in a corner : you could see a mistletoe, a little hanging Santa and a picture with written :" Merry Fucking Christmas"

You laughed a bit and put them as quickly as you could; then you rushed into the kitchen and hugged koala style your boyfriend.

“Here's your eggnog, my love!"

"You're my best present ever. I don't what to think what I'd have done if I had lost you that night!"

"But you didn't and now I'm too grateful for this second chance to waste it. And you won't get rid of me that easily, this time!" Nikki kissed you with so much love, then you two sat on the kitchen's counter, drinking you eggnog and enjoying each other's company.

Nikki was there and he was okay. And that was what mattered.

Tommy

You were well aware that Tommy was a child, but you never thought that he’d asked you to buy him a kid’s toy.

“Tommy, you’re an adult, do you understand it?” You said exasperated.

“C’mon baby, I want it and it’s Christmas !” He protested, whining.

“It’s a little robot! I doubt you’ll play with it much with the tour and all of that.”

“ Sweet pie I promise you that I’ll use it. And it’s a bomb ass robot, who cares if it’s meant for children ! I’m a kid at heart.” He tried to convince you again.

“First of all don’t “sweet pie” me. Then I can guarantee you that you won’t use it and either I have to play with it or it’ll rust in a corner. Even worse, you can just break him in two days, because you are were drunk!” You were not angry, and Tommy knew it, but also you tried to be the adult of the situation ( failing a bit).

“Yeah whatever, now I have to go to rehearsal. I guess I’ll come home and I’ll be sad and disappointed, at Christmas, the most joyful time of the year !” He said dramatically, hoping to convince you (and damn it was working); then he simply left you there in the store, your eyes fixed on the robot.

You rational part was trying to convince you that it was a stupid and quite useless idea, but your heart was totally crazy for that childish drummer, so you sighed in defeat and  decided to buy it. Even if you surrender at the idea to gave the toy to Tommy as his Christmas present, you wanted to prank him a bit, so you decided also to buy an ugly Christmas sweater.

When you heard Tommy entering through the door, you had been in the house for 10 minutes already so you put your present under the tree and went to put up the last decorations.

“How did rehearsal go?” You asked smiling.

“Good, my love. This album will be so awesome !” Then he turned his gaze to the Christmas tree. "Is it my gift?" He said pointing something under the tree.

"Yup! You can open it now if you want to." You said nonchalantly.

He bolted towards his present, excited as a kid, and opened it : his happy face turned into a disappointed one, pretty soon. He totally had to see the sweater.

“I-It’s r-really b-beautiful, my love.” He said, trying to be as polite as possible. You wanted to play along for a bit more but you couldn’t keep your laughter any longer.

“I’m so sorry love, but the look on your face is too funny! I couldn’t resist it! The real gift is behind the tree.” You admitted, continuing to laughing, your cheeks becoming red as a tomato.

Tommy flipped you off, then he went to grab the mysterious hidden box. If he wanted to be pissed off with you, as soon as he saw the robot, he totally changed his attitude and a wide smile appeared on his face.

“ Thank you, Y/N ! Dude, it’s awesome I thought you didn’t want to buy it !”

“Well, I guess that I’m that of a sucker for you !” You answered back, your heart full of joy because of your boyfriend’s happy face. Tommy hugged you so tight that you almost suffocated, then he lifted you and made you spin.

“I love you so much Y/N!”

“I love you too Tommy. Only you could make me buy a children’s toy as a grown man’s Christmas present.

Mick

“Wow, you really went overboard with decorations, didn’t you?” Your boyfriend Mick said, raising an eyebrow as he was looking in the chart. You two were at the mall, trying to find the last Christmas decoration to put into your house.

“This is what people do at Christmas, Mick !” You said, rolling your eyes.

You were not a holidays fanatic, but also you really enjoyed being in the festivity mood. On the other hand, Mick was really not that into Christmas and just found all the decoration, the presents and the big amount of food, totally excessive and unnecessary.

“Then people should calm the fuck down!”

You looked at him with a fake pouty face. You were a bit upset by Mick’s attitude, but you also know that his grumpy façade would eventually fall off, with some puppy eyes and sweet kisses; and you also love him for his being an “old man”, even tho you were just two years younger than him.

“You totally upset me now! You just ruined Christmas !” You said dramatically, trying to get a bit on his nerves.

“C’mon Y/N don’t be that dramatic! I admit that there are not that many decorations. For a Christmas addict.” He stated, smirking.

“What did you just say?” You replied horrified.

“Well we can’t deny that!”

“ Okay old man, now I AM going  to buy some more decoration, while you buy some like Halloween stuff or I don’t know!” You tried to sound angry.

In reality you were a bit disappointed with his behavior, because Christmas has always been that time of the year where you could feel like a child again, trying to forget all the responsibilities of an adult and just enjoy silly Holidays music and decorations. But also you knew that he didn’t really mean it, and that you should be upset, he just do that. You know the real Mick, the sweet and caring one that he only showed to you; maybe you should just wait to let things cool down and then come back and explain your reasons.

You decided to do it, and after five minutes and two new Christmas balls ( they were too cute, not to be bought) you reach your boyfriend looking at some random trees. As soon as he saw you, he pull out a fake mistletoe and raise it on both of your heads.

“What’s happening?” You asked, confused.

“ Usually people kiss under this thing.” He replied unfazed.

“Is this a subtle way for asking for a kiss?” You said, with a laugh.

“It’s a way to say that maybe you’re not that much of a Christmas addict. And maybe that I should just be less angry about it.”

“Aww, it’s okay. I kinda love when you act like the Grinch; but I think I also should just told you that Christmas means much to me, and not act like an offended baby. Now we should really kiss under this mistletoe!”

You two shared a softy and quick kiss, not wanting to show off in public.

“ I think it’s better if we go home to put this decorations up!” You said, a bit excited.

“At Halloween I’m going to choose what to put up in our house.” He decided with a serious tone.

“Yes sir.” You declared, playfully.

[admiralty-xfd]

Each Charted Course

Mulder reflects on Christmases past, and considers some roads not travelled. 

This was my entry for the @xfilesfanficexchange​ this year. 

He sits on the back porch, the frigid air biting at his exposed skin. He should probably be wearing more than a T-shirt but the idea of going back inside is unappealing at the moment, for some reason. He likes it out here in the quiet, alone with his thoughts.

There are no sleigh bells echoing in the distance or even the sharp scent of pine but Christmas isn’t just a time of year; it’s a feeling. And he feels it tonight.

“Hey,” a voice comes from behind him, as the back door opens a bit. Even in the thick chill he can sense home as it escapes through the crack: the scent of Christmas ham and pumpkin pie, the snap and crackle of the fireplace, yuletide carols softly spilling out, all the things he’s so content to be part of.

Scully plunks down next to him, wraps her hand around the crook of his arm, and leans in against him. “Mom left.”

He nods, staring out into the woods. “Sorry I didn’t say goodbye.”

Scully nods. “She’s worried about you,” she says, hesitantly. “You were a little distant tonight.”

“Got a lot on my mind.”

She squeezes him tighter. “Merry Christmas, Mulder,” she says softly. “I love you.”

Her voice is soft as the moonlight, but warm. It’s really all he needs, and he knows it. He turns to face her, to return the sentiment.

“I love you, too.”

“What are you thinking so hard about?” she asks, resting her head against his shoulder.

“Regrets,” he says simply.

“That’s a bit sad, for Christmas,” she points out. “Doesn’t seem like the time for regrets.”

“Well, I’ve had a few.”

They’re both quiet for a moment, and from inside the house Frank Sinatra’s White Christmas comes on, as if their stereo had read his mind. His most immediate regret is feeling this way at all on Christmas. He doesn’t really want to think about all the things he’d have done differently over the years if he could.

“Pretend I don’t know,” she says. “About these regrets.”

He sighs, knowing she’s had plenty of her own. He hadn’t meant to make everything heavy. Maybe he can lighten the mood a bit. “Well, for one, that you and I didn’t allow ourselves to have this so much sooner.”

“I know that one all too well,” she says. “But I try not to see it as a regret, more like… the path we chose. And it did lead us here, eventually.”

“You’re right,” he agrees. “But there are a few things over the years I’d have done differently if I could.”

“Oh yeah?”

He shrugs. “Ghosts of Christmases past, I suppose.”

A steamy plume of breath escapes her lips from beside him, and he can feel her smiling, the way he always can. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me about these ghosts. Tell me what you would have done differently.”

He smiles, pulls her into his lap. His butt is freezing from the icy porch but she surrounds him with her warmth. It’s Antarctica. It’s trust. It’s everything he needs and more. He still finds it difficult to believe how long it took him to come around regarding this quiet, uneventful life they share together. But he’s here, now. Truly here with her. And happy.

“Well, Tiny Tim,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to her hair, “sit a spell with your old Scrooge and let me tell you a few.”

1 9 9 3

“It’s just dinner at my place,” Scully says hopefully as she puts on her coat to leave the office. “My parents were out of town visiting my brother for Christmas so it’s a little belated celebration.”

Mulder rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know,” he says. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Please,” she rolls her eyes. “You wouldn’t be. My mother has been bugging me to meet you for months.”

He stops pulling his own coat on, mid-sleeve. “She has?”

“Mm-hmm,” she says in that sly, kind of sexy way. He shakes away the errant thought. He can’t think of Scully like that.

“Why?”

Scully shrugs. “She’s my mother. It’s bad enough I go to work carrying a gun every day, she wants to know who it is I’m trusting with my life.”

He finishes pushing his arms through the sleeves, inexplicably flustered. Trusting one’s partner with one’s life comes with the territory. She’s required to trust him to effectively do her job. But something about the way she’d said it puts him off guard.  They’ve only been partners for a few months but he’s already put her in so much danger. Guilt creeps over him like a bad rash.

He’s nervous to meet Scully’s mother. He’s never really been in a position to think about it before but suddenly it could happen, and tonight. Right now. He isn’t prepared at all.

“Well, what do you say?” She looks at him expectantly.

He wants to tell her yes, even though he’s afraid to. He wavers. One answer will take him one way, a different answer will lead him another.

“Why not?” he grins. “I hope they’re prepared for me to regale them with conspiracy theories.”

She smiles, that really wide one he rarely gets to see. “Don’t worry about that,” she assures him. “They’ve heard plenty about you.”

When he arrives, he takes in his surroundings. Scully’s apartment is cozy and, just as he’d expected, pristine. There’s a distinct femininity he likes, but at the same time it unsettles him. Dana Scully is his partner, his friend. He’s not supposed to see her as a woman. This feels intensely private, but she’s allowed him into her space and he’s thrilled in spite of his reservations.

Mrs. Scully is all warmth and politeness, fawning over him like he imagines she does her own sons. Imagines, because he’s certainly never received such treatment from his own mother in all thirty two years of his life; not really. He lets her take his coat, lets her kiss his cheek, lets her call him “Fox.” He likes her already.

Scully hasn’t spoken much about Ahab, but he’s exactly as Mulder had pictured. He’s tall and serious, with the military manner he sees jump out of Scully every time he himself steps out of line. He has a firm handshake and looks Mulder in the eye, with the same familiar skepticism he sees in his daughter’s eyes practically daily. He has to stop himself from laughing, knowing he’d be unable to explain.

The four of them chat and laugh and eat a wonderful meal Scully had prepared; he’s impressed and delighted by this unexpected domestic talent he’d never had the occasion to wonder about before.

Ahab jokes about the fact that Scully’s Christmas tree still stands so close to New Year’s and a good natured argument ensues: a tiny portrait of their lives. He sits back and profiles, watches her interact with her family closely, sees how she yearns for her father’s approval and takes her mother’s for granted. He realizes he’s learned more about his partner in one evening than he’s allowed himself to since he met her.  

At the end of the night Mrs. Scully hugs him, and he hugs her back. Ahab grasps his hand firmly, pumping it a couple times, and looks him right in the eye again, thanking him for looking after his baby. Mulder says “you’re welcome” and is instantly compelled to do a much better job of that particular task from here on out.

Turns out Scully was right about her father; he asks for nothing less than the best you can give and you’re happy to give it.

He and Scully stand at her front door and wave goodbye, both weirdly cognizant of her parents’ strategic departure that’s enabled the two partners to be left alone. Suddenly this feels like a successful date; some kind of test he’s passed with flying colors. She looks at him and grins, and he grins back, the miraculous outcome of the evening giving them both a high. He’d charmed her parents, plain and simple. If there was a stamp of approval to be received, he’d earned it. There is pride on her face, as if she herself could somehow take credit.

They stand on her front stoop looking into each other’s eyes and there’s gazing, definite gazing happening. Maybe it’s just the environment; the proximity to home, to the personal, but his mind wanders to how pretty she looks right now, and as if to further accentuate this new knowledge, snow begins to fall around them like they’re stuck inside some terrible romantic comedy.

She laughs, however, a bit shyly, and turns to go back inside.

The spell is broken, for now, but he knows. He knows a lot sooner than reality will allow him.

“Well, what do you say?” She looks at him expectantly.

“I appreciate the invitation, Scully,” he says. “But… I promised my own mom I’d go see her tonight,” he lies. Save for a quick call on Christmas, he hasn’t talked to his mother in weeks.

“Oh, okay,” she says. He can tell she’s disappointed. “Next time, then.”

Mulder watches her leave the office, going back to her enigmatic personal life. The next day she calls him with the news of her father’s untimely death.

It doesn’t take him long to realize he should have said yes.

1 9 9 7

He isn’t sure how much he should tell her. What he’d said in the children’s center is the truth: that Emily is a miracle that was never meant to be.

What he hadn’t said is an entirely different story. What he hadn’t said is that he knows far more than he should: that her ova had been stored in a government lab. That he’d found them, kept them. That he’d actually had them tested for viability.

He never told her for one reason: he hadn’t wanted to see that look on her face: the one he sees right now, watching her mother holding her on the couch as she cries quietly.

Scully’s truly worried about the adoption, he realizes, and he hasn’t been helpful at all. He doesn’t mean to hurt her, ever. It’s just that he knows, he knows deep down the way Fox Mulder knows so many things instinctively, that this is not going to end well for her, or for Emily. There’s simply no way.

But he doesn’t want to be the one to tell her that. He doesn’t want to be the one to break her heart this way.

“It’s all right, honey,” Margaret Scully says as she holds her daughter, rubbing her shoulder. Mulder hangs back on the landing, looking down upon them, and despite the protective part of him that wants to keep her from knowing anything that would cause her harm, he wants to go to her. Tell her everything, and be the one who holds her instead.

He walks down the steps as silently, footsteps audible only to Mrs. Scully who spots him over Scully’s shoulder. She nods at him, and they share an unspoken understanding.

He comes around the couch and sits next to Scully on the other side, and Mrs. Scully gently releases her, rolling her into him as if she were gingerly handing an eager relative a fresh newborn. Scully doesn’t react, or if she does, he doesn’t notice. She grips his shirt and continues crying, her walls completely down for once.

Mrs. Scully stands up and leaves without another word. Mulder is grateful for her ability to read the situation so well and he continues to be impressed by her astuteness when it comes to him and Scully.

“What is it?” he asks when her mother is gone. “Scully, talk to me.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” she cries into his shoulder.

“It’s okay, you can tell me anything.” He laughs inwardly, ruefully, at the ridiculousness of the statement, considering everything he’s kept from her.

“This whole thing, it’s just… bringing up these fears and desires I never really knew I had before, Mulder.”

“Such as?”

She sniffs. “Such as, coming to the realization of how much I want to have children. And learning over and over that it just isn’t a possibility for me.”

Summoning his courage, he knows the right thing to do. “I need to tell you something,” he says.

She leans back to look him in the eye. “What, Mulder?”

He sighs. “I know what’s happened to you, why you can’t conceive. I’ve known for a few months now.”

She stares at him, stunned. “What are you talking about?” He was aware her oncologist had told her she was barren, and she’d known it was a direct result of her abduction, but had never really known what had occurred, exactly.

“When you were abducted, your ova were taken from you, all of them. It was a high application radiation procedure, the same thing that caused your cancer. That’s why you’re unable to conceive.”

She shakes her head. “How do you know this?”

“When I was looking into your illness, I found them. They were stored in a lab. ”

“You.. found them?” she asks, absolutely shocked.

“I had them tested immediately, Scully, as I knew you would.” He’d never discussed what he’d found with her, too afraid for her life at the time to consider her thoughts on having another. But now is the time to be honest.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she asks carefully.

“You were deathly ill, Scully. I couldn’t bear to give you more bad news.”

She looks up at him, her eyes so, so sad. “And that’s what it was…? It was bad news?”

He shrugs, helpless. “The doctor said that the ova weren’t viable.”

Scully takes this in, still holding him by his forearms. “And you’re telling me now because…”

“The hearing, Scully. I think you should know what you’re getting yourself into. So you can be prepared.”

“...For them to tell me no,” she finishes.

“In case they do,” he nods. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he says.

She is quiet, still processing. He hopes she isn’t angry with him.

“Scully, whatever happens, I’ll be here for you, okay?” He knows it isn’t enough. He’s certainly not her consolation prize for the future she’s going to be denied. “I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do.”

He realizes he’s recited Elton John lyrics without even meaning to and hopes she doesn’t notice. Luckily she doesn’t seem to, and he’s relieved. He’d meant it and he wouldn’t want her to think his response was artificial, canned.

“Thank you for telling me,” is all she says. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”

Mulder stands on the landing, watching the scene beneath him. Mother and daughter, sobbing together on the couch.

“Same shit, different day, eh, Mr. Mulder?” a gruff voice comes from behind him, just soft enough not to draw attention from the women below. “I keep wondering when all this will end. I guess it doesn’t for you, does it?” Bill Jr. glares at him from the top of the stairs.

Mulder is exhausted and devastated on behalf of Scully. He wonders when it’s going to end, too. He wonders all the time.

He really doesn’t want to be dealing with her older brother, the dickwad, right now. Bill really has the wrong impression of him, especially when it comes to his feelings for his sister, but he can hardly blame the man.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I really wish it would, Bill.”

“Do you?” he challenges. “Seems like every time you turn up, I see my sister crying again.”

Mulder stares the other man in the face. He wants to punch him, but for what? Being absolutely, one-hundred percent correct? He bites his tongue.

Luckily, Bill Jr. is rarely interested in long, drawn out conversations. His specialty is a drive-by-slinging with the final word on top. So he scoffs, gives another glare and continues down the hallway.

Mulder glances once more at Scully, her shoulders hitching as she sobs quietly.

Bill’s an ass, but he’s right. The truth will only hurt her more. He’ll say what he needs to say in the hearing but only as much as he has to.

He can’t give her more bad news. He can’t bear to be the one who keeps making her cry.

1 9 9 8

Snow begins to fall gently outside his fourth-floor window as they sit on the couch and tear into their presents. He doesn’t really need to open his; seeing the grin on Scully's face when he handed his gift to her was good enough of a present for him. But he’s eager to see what she’s picked out.

He stops unwrapping to watch her, but then she stops too.

“You first, Mulder,” she says.

Her wish is his command. He opens the wrapping paper, snaps the ribbon. Pulls out a cassette tape.

XXX Alien Anal Probe. He nearly chokes on his own tongue.

“Scully!” he admonishes, and that mischievous smile of hers is back. “You got me porn for Christmas!”

She shrugs. “Figured you were missing some after the office fire. Just want to help you get your collection started again.”

He turns to look at her. “Scully, that’s so sweet,” he grins delightedly.

“Eh,” she shrugs. “It’s no trouble.”

“No, I mean it’s so sweet you think I haven’t got backup copies.”

She shoves him good naturedly. “Anyway, take it out.”

His jaw drops. “What?”

“I don’t mean… no!” He chuckles and now it’s her turn to be flustered. “Come on, Mulder.”

“I don’t know if this is something you really want to be here for, Scully,” he warns.

“Just open it already.”

He slides the video out of its sleeve and two Knicks tickets tumble into his lap. Next Thursday against the Wizards.

He smiles at her warmly. “Scully, thanks, this is really great.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles, seeming genuinely pleased with her gift. She shifts uncomfortably. “I hope you have fun with… whoever you take.”

He looks at her. “Scully. I’m taking you.”

Scully blinks, looking genuinely stunned. “What?”

“Of course I’m taking you. Who else would I ask?” He regrets the question instantly as the thought completes itself, the tension of the past few weeks still lingering in the air. Diana.

Not a chance, he thinks, but doesn’t say it. He’s too much of a chicken shit.

“Okay,” Scully replies softly. “Thanks, I’d love to.” He can tell she’s relieved, even happy, and considering how little Scully cares about basketball the implication alone is enough for now.

“Open yours,” he says, eager to blow right past a potentially awkward moment.

She smiles again and finishes unwrapping her own present, pulling out the object, confused.

“It’s… a paper towel tube,” she says.

“Look inside, Einstein,” he says impatiently. She feels around inside the tube and slides out the rolled up gift, unrolling it, taking it in.

It’s a small, somewhat weathered photograph of a luxury liner, angled a bit away from the camera, headed out to sea. In the corner is a scrawled date- 1939.

“This is… is this what I think it is?” she asks.

Mulder nods. “It’s the last known photograph taken of the Queen Anne before it set sail, never to be heard from again,” he says. “I was going to frame it, but… I know you’re particular about that kind of thing.”

“How did you even find this?” she asks, awed.

“The boys helped me with that.” The Gunmen had actually done more work than he had in an effort to track it down. When he’d told them who it was for, they’d been on a mission. He was beginning to think they could find Jimmy Hoffa if he told them it was for Scully.

She just looks at it, and he isn’t sure what she’s thinking. “I know it wasn’t real to you, Scully, but everything about that experience was so real to me. And you saving my ass for the millionth time was real to me, too,” he chuckles. “I guess… I want you to have something from my experience that was real.” Since you couldn’t be there with me. Since I didn’t have the balls to ask you to be there with me.

“It’s beautiful, Mulder,” she breathes, and he doesn’t think she’s just being polite. She traces her finger across one of the smokestacks gently.

“Careful not to handle it too much, it’s an original,” Mulder points out. She pulls her hand away.

“Thank you, Mulder,” she says. “I love it.”

He looks at her intently and he wants to say it. He closes his eyes, summons up the courage.

“What I said to you was real, too, Scully.”

She looks up from the photograph, alarmed. “What do you mean?”

He takes a deep breath, soldiers forward. Like he should have done so many times. Like he should have done back in his hallway. “I mean.. what I told you in the hospital.”

She waits. He knows she wants him to say it and out of the thousand times he’s wanted to, the thousand times she’s deserved to hear it, there’s no time like the present.

“I love you, Scully.”

She looks at him for a long time, every second an eternity. For a moment he worries he’s completely misread everything, that maybe she doesn’t love him back, maybe this was a huge mistake. But then he sees a small tear forming in the corner of her eye, a familiar one. One he saw once before in a very similar scenario. Then a tiny smile. And before he realizes if he’s actually made an active decision or if his body is doing it for him, he reaches out to grasp the back of her head like he did on that ship, and pulls her into him as their lips meet for real, finally, without interruption.

The kiss is soft at first, chaste, even, but he isn’t interested in sending her mixed signals anymore. He places his other hand on the side of her jaw and ever so gently opens his mouth, inviting her in. The possibility of more; the inevitability of the two of them.

A quiet, almost inaudible sigh of relief escapes her lips as she opens her own mouth, allowing her tongue to enter his and there they find each other, at last, in the place where there is no more “platonic,” there is no more “professional.” They are no longer “just friends.”

She shifts her body until she is sitting up straight and he pulls her into him, close, and the kiss is endless, perfection, until they finally break away, both panting, eyes dilated, overcome with promise.

“I love you too, Mulder,” she says, her voice filled with emotion.

His eyes open and she is smiling. “You okay, Mulder?”

He sits back, Maurice’s words still echoing in his head. The audacity of the ghost’s assessment of his personality still staggers him. Mostly due to its deadly accuracy.

Do you know why you see the things you do? Because you’re a lonely man.

What if he is only seeing things? Maybe he’s only trying to convince himself she feels the same way. It’s been months since the bee incident and she hasn’t said a word about it. What if she doesn’t? What if, by doing this, he loses her forever?

He is lonely, pathetically so. She’s the only one who can fill that void and making that move right now is selfish, pure and simple.

“I’m fine,” he says, Scully’s signature disclaimer. “I’m happy you like it.”

And maybe if you hang it up where I can see it, it will remind me of a moment when I was actually brave.

None the wiser, Scully continues looking at her gift, a smile plastered across her face that’s really much more than he deserves.

1 9 9 9

“Scully, it’s me.”

There’s a crackle on the other end of the line and he can barely hear her. She sounds so far away. “What is it, Mulder?”

“You’ll never guess where I am right now.”

He hears a sigh, that excruciatingly familiar one. “I’m sure I couldn’t.”

“I’m investigating an old, open X-File. You don’t even want to try to guess?”

“Mulder, I’m stuck in family mode. I can’t talk about X-Files with you right now.”

“Okay, I get it. But this is one is Christmassy,” he says, hopefully. “Have you got a couple minutes?”

She sighs again, but this time he can tell she’s smiling. “I’m on my mother’s porch in my slippers. You have as long as it takes for my toes to start to freeze. Go.”

“Twenty one years past, Christmas Eve, Lexington, Kentucky. The twinkle and jingle of lights and bells sing...”

“The lights sing, Mulder?”

“Shh, I’m telling a story.”

“We did this last year, you remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. The scent of gingerbread wafts through the air but on one dark street a terrible, terrible accident occurred.”

“How festive.”

“An accident— or was it?”

There’s silence on the line. Then, “I’m listening.”

Mulder grins. “The victim was an old woman, found heavily intoxicated, in the middle of a snowy road.”

“Hit by a car?”

“Not quite. I don’t think this case would have drawn good old Spooky Mulder’s attention if she was.”

“What aren’t you telling me, Mulder?” he can hear the skepticism he’d expected as he begins his unraveling.

“Well, the manner in which she died was... unusual, to say the least.”

Scully is quiet. “How did she die, Mulder?”

“There were some interesting… markings… on her back. Some would say they were almost claw-like.”

“And…?”

“And,” he says pointedly, “on her forehead, too. Although those ones looked more like… hooves.”

The line is silent. “Mulder.”

“Scully.”

“No.”

“Looks like grandma got run over by a reindeer,” he says, barely containing his glee.

“I’m hanging up now.”

“No, wait!” he laughs. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. How’s the family?”

A sigh. “They’re great. Bill really wishes you were here.”

He chuckles, then lets out a deep sigh.

“Is this really what you called for, Mulder?” she asks, and he’s suddenly gripped with the realization that he’d actually called for a very important reason. He’s only delaying the inevitable.

He takes a deep breath. “Um, Scully… I actually called because I have something important to tell you.”

He can hear her voice turn serious. Even more serious. “What is it?”

He exhales. “A couple months ago, I was experiencing some pain... in my head. I didn’t want to worry you so I saw another doctor just to rule things out, you know?”

She’s quiet for a moment. He hopes she isn’t angry already.

“Anyway,” he continues, “They couldn’t rule anything out. Something is definitely not right.”

“Mulder…” she says quietly. “Is this to do with the D.O.D.? What happened to you there?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’m guessing so.”

He can hear her shaking her head. “But your scans were clean…” she sounds like she’s talking more to herself now, in that way she gets when she can’t believe something. In this case, her own eyes. “They were clean…”

“I don’t want to worry you, Scully,” he says. “That’s the last thing I want. I’m hoping this is nothing. But just in case it isn’t…” he trails off. “I want my doctor to know about it.”

He wonders why he picked up the phone tonight of all nights to tell her this, and in an instant it hits him: he’s so lonely it hurts. He looks around his quiet apartment, his sad little stocking hanging up next to his fish tank, its googly-eyed occupants his only company for the holiday. He’d been so desperate to just hear her voice that it seemed like a good excuse.

“Mulder, are you by yourself tonight?”

“No,” he answers, perhaps too quickly. “I mean, there’s a Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci-Fi channel, and I’ve got an entire half gallon of eggnog. I’m all set.” He grins. “I’m fine, Scully, okay? Have fun with your family. Be sure to catch Bill under the mistletoe for me.”

He hears a half-chuckle as she sighs, somewhat resigned. “Merry Christmas, Mulder,” she says quietly. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”

“I know, we always do,” he replies. “Merry Christmas.”

“Is this really what you called for, Mulder?” she asks.

“I just wanted to hear your voice on Christmas, Scully. Is that so terrible?”

Scully sighs on the other end of the line. He can hear her smiling again. “No, it isn’t.”

It’s a nice thought, he muses, that they’d somehow figure this out. That Scully might find the answer to this unanswerable question. Somehow find the cure he knows deep in his gut does not exist. But he knows the truth; there is no Christmas miracle that’s going to get him out of this one. And if he tells her, everything will change. Everything.

“Okay,” he replies. “My joke is done. You can go warm up, Scully. My best to the family.”

“Bye, Mulder,” she replies, and the line goes dead.

He realizes he forgot to wish her a Merry Christmas.

2 0 0 2

Scully is crying in the bathroom again.

Six months, more than twice as many motel rooms, their world in complete and utter upheaval. He sits on the edge of the disheveled bed, the sheets scattered to the floor. They haven’t left this particular room in over forty-eight hours and have certainly made good use of that time, in his estimation. No more than twenty minutes ago he’d made her scream in ecstasy so loud he worried the FBI would hear her, wherever they happen to be at the moment.

She’d gone to take a shower, and he thought everything was okay, great, even. But now she’s crying, quietly; retreated into her own space like she has a few times since they started this adventure.

Adventure. He shakes his head, pissed at himself for ever referring to it that way. He’s well aware what Scully has given up to be with him: her job, her family. Her identity. There are any number of reasons she could be tucked away behind her walls right now, and he’s responsible for every single one of them.

But maybe it isn’t one of those reasons. Maybe it’s something else; something they haven’t discussed, not really.

Something she feels responsible for.

He stands and walks the four steps to the bathroom door, knocking gently. “Scully? You okay in there?”

He hears nothing.

“Scully?”

“I’m fine, Mulder,” she says softly from the other side of the door.

But he knows she isn’t fine.

He pushes the door open gently, and sees her on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, hair wet, eyes running. He kneels down next to her and reaches out, pulling her into his bare chest. Her bathrobe opens just enough so he can feel her skin against his when he holds her close, her heartbeat right next to his. She rests her head on his shoulder and he strokes her wet hair as she tries to calm down her breathing.

“It’s William, isn’t it?” he asks. They haven’t so much as mentioned their son’s name in months. After an attempt or two, she’d made it plain she had no interest in reopening that particular wound. The nature of their circumstances brought other, more pressing matters to the forefront and over the months it seemed the longer they went without talking about him the harder it was to bring him up at all.

He never wants to see her cry, ever. But maybe she needs to. Maybe they both need to.

“I’m so sorry, Mulder… I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to protect him, for the both of us,” she sobs. He feels his own tears welling up and wonders if she’s been holding onto this pain for months, keeping it inside because both of their modus operandi seems to be perpetual denial of truth. He knows this, as ironic as it seems, because it’s been that way with them from the start.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Scully,” he tells her. He plans to tell her this every day for the rest of their lives if he must. “You did the right thing and you can’t keep beating yourself up about it. It won’t do either of us any good.”

She cries, really cries into his shoulder and he holds her close, and they talk about William, really talk about him: the things Scully remembers, the things Mulder missed. And the things they’ll both miss, together. They cry and hold on to each other tightly and come out the other side stronger, unified.

Unbreakable.

“Scully? You okay in there?”

He hears nothing.

“Scully?”

“I’m fine, Mulder,” she says softly from the other side of the door. He waits, wondering what to do. After a few moments, the door opens, and she comes out. Her eyes aren’t puffy, her body isn’t hunched.

She’s fine. It’s easier to believe it than to press her further.

“Well,” she says, walls back up, clearly attempting to put any unpleasantness behind her. “Should we order in? Watch A Christmas Story on TBS?”

Christmas. Right. It’s easy to lose track while stuck in this neverending limbo-type existence.

“Um. Yeah, anything you want, Scully,” he says, reaching out to touch her face, make her look him in the eye. She does, for a moment, then the moment is gone.

Everything is fine.

2 0 1 2

He sits on the back porch, the frigid air biting at his exposed skin. He should probably be wearing more than a T-shirt but the idea of going back inside is unappealing at the moment, for some reason. He likes it out here in the quiet, alone with his thoughts.

There are no sleigh bells echoing in the distance or even the sharp scent of pine but Christmas isn’t just a time of year; it’s a feeling. And he feels it tonight.

“Hey,” a voice comes from behind him, as the back door opens a bit. Even in the thick chill he can sense home as it escapes through the crack: the scent of Christmas ham and pumpkin pie, the snap and crackle of the fireplace, yuletide carols softly spilling out, all the things he should be thrilled to be part of.

She plunks down next to him, wraps her hand around the crook of his arm, and leans in against him. “Mom left.”

He nods, staring out into the woods.

Scully continues. “She’s worried about you,” she says, hesitantly. “You were a little distant tonight.”

He wants to tell her of course he was distant. He has a lot on his mind. The world was supposed to end and it didn’t. He feels restless and unhinged.

Now what, Scully? Now what?

She squeezes him tighter. “Merry Christmas, Mulder,” she says softly. “I love you.”

Her voice is soft as moonlight, but warm. He does not respond, though. He’s confused, distressed, untethered. He doesn’t know up from down, even with Scully sitting right next to him. His true north. He wishes he knew what to do to make this feeling go away.

She leans in to kiss his cheek, rubs his forearm a couple times like a habit, then gets up to go back inside. When she shuts the door the porch is silent and he sits alone in the cold chill.

He doesn’t know yet what will happen, if anything. He doesn’t know yet he’s going to become impossible to live with.

He doesn’t know she’s going to leave him.

If he’d known, he’d have done things differently.

End note: Part of this prompt was “If possible, there must be a surprising end at the story.” For me, surprising means gut punch. Happy Holidays, everyone!

[lupienne]

Rick’s Christmas Miracle

I originally started this short fic last Christmas but got stumped on wrapping it up, so it gathered dust till this year. I cobbled together an ending that I guess is ok. I seem to have done a few of these ‘Rick delivers supplies to Negan’ fics but hey...it’s how it should be. Fuck canon. Lol!

-

“You sure you want to make the trip? Snow might still be deep off the roads.”

Heath was reluctant to let Rick and Silver pass through Alexandria's gates.

“I'm a week late.”

“A few more days wouldn't hurt. What if you don't make it back in time?”

Nobody knew the real date anymore. Together, the town had crafted a new calendar, guessing the positions of holidays. Christmas sat only a few days away on their chart of time's passage.

“I'll be back in time.”

Heath pursed his lips, but his only comment was: “Hopefully the cold took care of that vermin. Then you won't have to do this anymore.”

He was too good to question Rick directly. It wasn't Rick's integrity he hated...just the current recipient of it. Everyone in town had an opinion. Sure, Negan had done something or another to help Alexandria.... but did he really deserve a monthly drop-off of supplies indefinitely?  

“Hopefully,” Rick mummered, and Heath finally stepped out of his path. The truth was, Rick enjoyed the trip. He liked getting away.

He maybe even liked seeing Negan... but no way, no how. He wouldn't go so far as to say that. 

----

Heath's concerns were for nothing. The driving snows that had delayed this supplies drop had melted into slush. Silver slipped a few times on the sodden ground. But overall, the old mare was happy to be free from her stable. She moved at a steady pace, carrying Rick to the outskirts of Negan's 'neighborhood'.

He paused on the slight incline above the empty array of cookie-cutter homes. Strangely, his heart pounded in his chest. Maybe Heath was right, and cold had done Negan in. It'd been three weeks since his last visit. Starvation was surely a possibility as well.

Despair. If Negan's thoughts were anything like the dark things that fluttered through Rick's mind... there were other reasons for death as well. Loneliness could kill.

He sucked in a breath, feeling stupid. His personal vermin would be doing him a favor by lying there dead, wouldn't he? His eyes scoured the rooftops, and that breath came out in a rush. His heart bobbed upwards.

Smoke rose from the farthest chimney.

“Guess we're still delivering, girl.”

-

They trotted into Negan's 'yard'. He snorted. The man somehow knew Christmas was nearing. He'd decorated with a shoddy plastic wreath on the door, and tinsel draped over Lucille's cross. At least Negan didn't have to bother with lights – considering he had no electricity. Rick wasn't surprised to see a large, lopsided snowman standing near the front door.

He turned to Silver. “Well, a child does live here.”

He did his custom two knocks with a pause before the third. No answer. Negan must have gone on an errand.

Rick sighed. He supposed he could drop the stuff and leave.

He turned back to face the yard, noticing the snowman's face from this angle. Two rock eyes and a pebble mouth. A tree-root nose, because even if Negan had found a carrot, he wouldn't waste it here. Stick arms. Rick's eyes dropped to what passed for a snowman's crotch. A thick stick jutted outwards.

He raised his cane, debating knocking off the wooden woody, when he heard a sound from the nearby woods. He tensed, until he caught sight of the leather jacket and bright red hat. Negan emerged from the trees, huffing as he pulled a child's sled behind him. It was loaded with sticks and wood.

The predictable stupid smile came across the other man's face. “Hey, Prick! See you're admiring my friend there. I modeled him after me, you know. Long and thick.”

The warming air was making Frosty's stick droop in the melting snow. Rick smirked.

“It's been cold as fucking hell,” Negan let go of the sled once he was closer. “Been snowed in for a few days. And hungry. Where have you been?”

“It snowed all over, Negan.”

“Yeah.” Negan scratched at his chin. He was growing his beard out again. He looked a bit like a lumberjack. He'd replaced his old red scarf with a red-and-black checked one. “I thought maybe you were hoping I'd croak from the elements.”

“I could never be so lucky.”

Negan pouted. Rick unbuckled Silver's saddlebag. “If I'd known you were doing the beard thing, I wouldn't have brought more razors.”

“Just for the winter. Any more pork n' beans?”

“Nope. We're fresh out.”

“Fuck...”

“Annie has been baking though. I brought you some pecan pie.” Rick hefted the saddlebag and nodded at Negan to take the other.

“You didn't bring me any figgy pudding?”

Rick let out a laugh. “Oh damn. Left that back on the kitchen counter. Has anyone actually eaten figgy pudding...?”

“Well, you know what they say...” Negan bounded in front of him, swinging open the door to his home. Rick hoped he'd used his snowed-in time to clean that fucking pig-sty. “You won't go until I get some.”

Rick raised an eyebrow as Negan stood just inside the threshold. He'd known the man long enough to recognize that devious glint in his eyes.

“Guess I ain't going then...” Despite Heath's worries, Rick wasn't entirely eager to spend Christmas in Alexandria. Sure, seeing his people be festive and merry was great and all, but Carl was away at the Hilltop and Andrea...

He pushed that thought away.

“Heh. That means I'll have to cook something. Hope you like dog food casserole.”

Rick paused in the doorway, narrowing his eyes. “Negan, can you move-”

“Here, gimmie.” Negan grabbed the saddlebag from him and dropped them on the floor. Rick tried to peer around him, wondering what he was hiding. Maybe he was embarrassed because the house was still a mess. “Well, well. Would ya look at that?” Negan grinned wide, pointing a finger upwards. “I was hoping a hot chick would happen by one of these days... but I'll take what I can get.”

“You've got to be kidding me.”

Fake mistletoe was tacked on the door frame above their heads.

“You know the rules. Pucker up, Grimes.”

“Ugh.” Rick shoved past him into the besotted bachelor pad. “I am not kissing you.”

“But it's the holiday fucking tradition.”

Rick ignored that, stepping out from under the accursed plant. “Just empty the bags, Negan.” He stood in the room, surveying the mess.

The big man pouted as he began to unpack his supplies, setting them in a pile. Canned food, razors, the pie. A pair of warm gloves. Other things, like matches and a canister of kindling sticks. He'd brought extra food this time. Probably a good thing. Under the beard, Negan looked like he'd lost even more weight.

“You ever thought of moving...?”

“Why? You sick of coming out here? You don't have to, you know...” Negan held the pie in both hands, casting his eyes down to it. “I'm fine. I don't need your fucking charity.”

“No. Just wondering what keeps you here.”

“One dump is the same as another...” Negan set the pie down. “And Lucille...” He trailed off, and Rick felt a pang of sympathy.

He wondered what it would be like if he came out here and found the house vacated. If Negan was finally out of his hair.

Weird how it caused the same ache as Carl's absence and the empty silence of his home. He collected the saddlebags and headed for the door.

“You want any pie...?”

“I got so many pies and cakes at home I can't even keep up.” Rick knew Annie and the others were drowning him in sweets out of pity.

“Oh...” Negan sounded disappointed, but Rick couldn't think of any good excuses to stay. He'd delivered the supplies. Now it was time to leave.

“Maybe I can bring you some figgy pudding next time...” Rick said lightly. He didn't know why he cared- but he wanted to dispel that forlorn look in Negan's eyes. He knew what it was like to spend this holiday alone, with nothing to warm the heart.

“Yeah...maybe.” Negan followed him to the front door, his gaze flitting up to the mistletoe as Rick paused under it. Rick snorted. No way, no how that he was gonna follow that tradition-

Fuck it.  Maybe he could warm Negan's season just a tiniest bit. Or just simply deliver a good ole mindfuck, the present Negan had given him so many times over the years.

Old Man Rick could still move fast when he wanted – even on his bum knee. And his aim was still precise as fuck. He turned, and landed a rough smooch right on Negan's mouth.

They both had chapped lips, so it was a strange slide of dry skin catching on itself. Rick didn't linger, but settled back on his feet, clutching his cane tight. He chuckled softly as a  flush as red as Santa's suit spread across Negan's cheeks.

“Merry Christmas, Negan.”

And lo, how Rick beheld a Christmas Miracle!

“...shit...Rick...” Negan sputtered, after a stunning thirty seconds of silence... “I uh...I was just joking, you know...”

“Uh huh...” Rick grinned as he began to strap on Silver's saddlebags. “Sure you were. And as it looks like it's gonna snow again...you're so not going to ask me to spend the night, right?”

“Uh...no..” The lying fuck shifted on his feet, his cheeks still like roses. “....but if you want to-”

“No. You've only got one bed. And my cane takes up a lot of space.”

There was another blessed span of quiet, but maybe shorter than the last. Rick didn't mind. He couldn't expect two miracles in a row-

“Fucking Christmas miracle...” Negan stood owl-eyed, as Rick clambered atop the old mare. “...Prick Grimes...making a dick joke...?”

Rick just chuckled, shook his head, and spurred Silver away, to his empty and cold home back in Alexandria .

------

But when he arrived, it was lit and warm and he smelled one of Annie's endless pies warming in the oven.

Carl and Lydia had trekked the snowy roads from the Hilltop just for him, their happy presence marking the third Miracle of Rick Grime's Christmas season.

“Next time...” he said, to a befuddled Carl, his mouth full of fresh pecan pie, “...Remind me to pack some chapstick for Negan.”

[schroedingersk8]

15. Let Me Draw You A Pie Chart

Or  Why I Refuse To Date For Free. 

I have written this post as a personal opinion, but I think it would be of tremendous use to my fellow Dommes and International Women of Mystery, as a read and perhaps a thought experiment, too. If you have any questions, please contact me via K8Morgan.com

I have woken up today, and have decided to dedicate my inaugural 2020 dating blog post to what is bound to become a very a prickly subject -- remunerated dating. Thing is, that yesterday, before going to bed, I have posted a three-line response to an anonymous question, and woke up to an anonymous answer in a scandalised line of “how dare I?” :)

And I laughed to myself, but also thought that, in this day and age of #mansplaining and with my work as a Dominatrix shrouded in all kinds of myths, maybe I ought to do a bit of #dommesplaining (I am very proud of this hashtag, btw!) and show exactly how, and why I dare. So, my dear, let me draw you a pie chart: 

This is my pie chart of life. 

Are you with me so far? Am I condescending enough? 

You can read it as a day, month, year, etc -- this is an entire life-flow, and I have organised it, for myself, in in the following manner:

There is “Me time” -- a pleasant tea on a sunny bar terrace, a visit to a SPA, upkeeping my good looks -- manicures, haircuts, meditation, just 20 minutes of quiet nothingness to myself. Then there are “Vanilla Life Obligations”-- doing a food shop, waiting for deliveries, arranging household needs, plumbers, boiler revisions, own health check up, cat health check ups, getting paperwork done, etc. Then we come to “Active Hobbies and Social Obligations” -- things I enjoy doing outside of the house -- maybe an opera visit, a museum stroll, a theatre performance, a gallery opening, gym, walk in the park, an excursion, a friend’s birthday party, or crisis counselling, or just a few beers with gossip et al. We also have “Passive Indoor Hobbies” -- things I usually do in the comfort of my own home -- reading classics by the fireplace, covered in Feline Overlords, watching some telly, taking a bath...you get the drift. And then, there is “WORK”. Want to venture a guess and pick which one is which? 

How well did you do? It is, of course, a very rough estimate. But this is how I have arranged my life. 

As you notice, there is no pie slice for “romantic relationship” because for me it is not a necessity. I am very happy with my current life, and 2020 will mark 9 years of me being “emotionally single” and “self-partnered”. Would it be nice to have a relationship? Maybe. But at this point it will be coming at the cost of other things. And I am not willing to surrender those things. Should I skip a visit to El Prado because you want your knob polished for free? Should I stop seeing my friends and family, who have been with me for years, because your ego needs continuous attention for the following 3 weeks, every time you come home from work? Should I banish my cats to an animal shelter because your balls need free shining? No? Then the only thing that has to give is my work time allocation.

“Pah, you dedicate too much time to work!” -- I hear you scoff. Now, have you met many self-employed/entrepreneurial people? Do they spend 30 min a day, only, on their projects? Let me remind you that DOMMEWORK IS WORK. S#X WORK IS WORK. If I were doing a PhD, would you whinge about my time allocation to studying? 

My work is something that brings me joy, my work is something that I find challenging, stimulating and fun. My work is something that pays my bills. All those things are already more than what I can say about your contribution to my life so far. 

And, as any work, it gets even more detailed:

I do not know if you can see it well in the picture, but my work currently consists of seven parts:

Research and Development -- studying marketing and pricing trends, consumer behaviour, strategies, new BDSM fabs, new media tendencies.

Implementation -- with the results of research and development in mind, making website updates, skill updates, new inventory and alike.

Analytics -- establishing what worked, what worked best, and what did not work at all, and changing things accordingly.

Work Admin -- reading and answering all your emails and inquiries, about sessions, pricing, availability, and about chances to date me for free.

Business Admin -- taxes, forms, rebates, etc etc etc.

Social Media Maintenance -- social media is the pipeline from where I get my clients, and no maintenance = no new clients.

Actual Sessions or Tours -- the time actually spent in sessions or preparing for sessions.

This, above, is a VERY rough estimate of what currently goes into my work. This does not even include the work I do for my fan sites. This is just the most basic task allocation in the most basic idea that you might have of my work. 

Yes, I am self employed, but the world these days places same requirements on the one-person-flying-circus as they do on corporations. Everybody expects me to post pretty pictures a few times a day. Everybody expects me to provide customer service. Government expects me to pay taxes. Anyone with a New Year’s Resolution to “date me this year” expects a reply, and then an even longer reply of “why not?” Clients expect me to look my best. To succeed in industry I need to be on top of the tendencies. And to be proud of my work I expect myself to do my absolute best. 

And yes, I HAVE to do everything myself. As such, I employ a cat nanny/cleaner so I can spend few more hours per week learning and studying. Yes, I do as well as I do because I DELIVER on most expectations. And I am able to DELIVER on them because of meticulous hard work that I put in, today and every day, into my business. (Tumblr is part of my Business Profile, by the way, otherwise I wouldn’t be spending time on it. For example, I deemed Instagram no longer cost effective after 3 years as it was not worth the time I had to put into it in terms of prospective client growth, so I stopped using it, at 50K+ followers.) 

As I hope you understand (I simply cannot draw a more basic pie chart!), any reduction in time I spend doing my work results in less income for me. Now, DommeWork, in terms of my age, and in terms of my looks, is an enterprise limited in time. Whatever I save is my future pension, it is my future cash flow, it is my nest egg, for when I retire. Why should I deprive myself of that, so that you could get your knob polished for free? Why SHOULD I make less money for myself just so you can save YOUR money??? 

“Oh, you only have dollar signs in your eyes, you do not value me as a person and as just an cash machine!” -- No, my dear, my stance on “free dating” has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, or how I view or value YOU. But it has EVERYTHING to do with how I view MYSELF, how I VALUE MYSELF, and how I VALUE MY TIME.  Even to give you, a man from the Internet who thinks I owe him free dating, a try for a month, and dedicate 20% of my work time, to you, instead of work, will result in a 20% reduction in MY income the following month. Now, 20% of my average monthly income is roughly my monthly rent. So, I should give up my ENTIRE month’s rent in order to see whether you are worth it? While you do not think you should be paying for dating?

And, what exactly is “it”? The funny thing is that in the “best case scenario” of us moving in together and living happily ever after, you would occupy at least half of my time, ever pushing for more, costing me a 50% reduction of income (that’s TWO ENTIRE RENTS) to then just have to contribute “your fair share” of HALF THE RENT!!! 

So, you are down HALF the rent, while I am down TWO RENTS AND A HALF! And when you yelp “but what about love, love should be free, it is priceless, a relationship should be about two equals!” this is exactly how much YOUR priceless love, by the roughest estimate of the projected loss of earnings based on time allocation is going to cost ME, per month. TWO AND A HALF RENTS. While you insist it should be FREE for you because it is priceless! Show me the equality in that relationship, you equal rights champion you! Where is it? Or is it like in Orwell’s “Animal Farm”, some pigs should be more “equal” than the others? I mean, really???

Do we need another chart to explain to you the “bigger-smaller, up-close or far-away” concepts? Because your parents should have explained it to you when you were about 4 years old... 

“Yeah, well, other women do not expect me to pay them to date them!” -- I do not know what to say to that  -- maybe they value themselves less. Maybe they have too much free time on their hands and are bored. Maybe they cannot entertain themselves. Maybe they need help watching Netflix. Maybe their rents are so high in relation to their overall income that half a rent or half the mortgage for them is worth the trouble. Maybe the contribution they think you will make to their life is worth it for them. Or maybe they need to take a look at my pie charts themselves? In any case, if free dating is what you want, you should address your needs towards them, not me. 

So, my dear, as I dash to my drinks and tapas with friends, as it is a beautiful Sunday afternoon -- and I had to push back my attendance by an hour to finish writing my work blog post to address the topic raised too many times this week alone -- let me give you a word of advice. Before you get your panties in a knot and get thinking of what you can get from me for free -- ask yourself a very hard question: what can you really contribute?

No one, under the penalty of the EU copyright laws, is allowed to use or reproduce my blog or individual posts, or even passages, in any way, shape or form, be it for Netflix series, Amazon books, or anything of the kind, regardless of the credit given. If you have any questions, you may contact me via K8Morgan.com

[dear-indies]

Evolution (2001) Quotes! - trigger warnings: nsfw, swearing, gun, and military mentions.

Inspired by @syfyhq​!

"Despite all the warnings."

"Bad move."

"It's showtime."

"Don't worry, ma'am! I'm here to save you!"

"Keep those people back! This is an emergency!"

"Though it may be hard to believe a single biology professor..."

"As you can see, there was a shocking statistical anomaly."

"Congratulate yourselves. I have a good feeling about this group."

"There seems to be a mistake here."

"A meteor? Where?"

"Wouldn't you prefer a different profession?"

"Actually, what I want to be is Miss Arizona."

"Ready for lunch?"

"Let me grab my stuff."

"A meteor hit last night."

"I'm taking you in case I have to do something scientific."

"I signed up over the Internet."

"That's my baby. Take it easy."

"So I'd appreciate it if you'd let me go."

"Now that's a hole!"

"I believe we've located the target."

"Look at these jackasses."

"Muscle pose. Give me big smiles! Looking good."

"At ease, gentlemen! The feds are here."

"Let's not get combative."

"We're just here to get some scientific samples. If that's okay."

"It just hit last night and it has stuff growing on it."

"Let's get a sample and get out of here."

"Let's bag it."

"Your résumé will shine."

"The meteor samples are teeming with one-celled organisms."

"Their metabolic rates are off the charts."

"They're dividing at an incredible rate. Almost exponential."

"Their DNA has ten base pairs."

"The DNA of all earth life has only four base pairs."

"...these are organisms from another world."

"They're aliens."

"I'm not. I'm concerned about the potential tax consequences."

"If we want to be big important scientists, you have to act the part."

"It's like they're evolving."

"It's evolution."

"But it's million years worth in just a few hours."

"At least you have the pool gig at the country club."

"Wear your protective gloves at all times."

"We came to pick up the rock."

"It's very technical."

"I know these look like mushrooms, but refrain from eating them."

"It's the game we play, baby."

"It's converting the atmosphere."

"Look at all this rudimentary plant life. It's amazing."

"Not to get all girly here, but I feel something wiggling around my toes."

"Flatworms."

"Come here, little buddy."

"The oxygen must have killed it."

"It must need its own atmosphere to live."

"Grab a specimen jar. We'll scoop some atmosphere in there with them."

"It took us two billion years to do what they did in a couple of days."

"Those germs are the embodiment of the American dream."

"It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce."

"We call no one, we tell no one. This is our secret."

"What about the government? They usually get involved."

"This is our discovery. We must maintain absolute control."

"We have to do more research and check our findings. Document everything."

"You know what to do with the towels because you're the pool boy."

"Not anymore. You're not on the list."

"White man doesn't like to be yelled at."

"Get his gun!"

"All this time I thought you were just a schoolteacher."

"You should've known better than to keep something this big from us."

"I'd heard about your recklessness but you are way out of line on this one."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"You son of a bitch."

"We've already secured the area."

"Did you catch that condescending tone?"

"You're a disgrace, and a dangerous one at that."

"Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed."

"I don't care who they are. Stealing is stealing!"

"They took the rock, the samples, all the little wormy critters."

"All the data's gone. The JPEG files, the DNA sequences. They cleaned us out."

"I'm calling the cops."

"They are the cops!"

"Let me ask you something."

"The penalty for impersonating an officer is five years in prison."

"Testing, one, two."

"I don't have anything on my schedule."

"Our little babies are growing up."

"Three weeks, it's already like a rain forest in here."

"That tree just ate it."

"Everything here seems to be food for something else, so let's stay off the menu."

"Come here, look at these little things."

"Yeah. Snag one and put it in the bucket."

"Don't be scared. We came for a specimen, now snag one."

"Come on, my little red lobster."

"Come on, my sexy little crustacean."

" Let's bag that and get the hell out of here."

"The fly! There's a fly in my suit!"

"I'll get the lubricant."

"There's always time for lubricant!"

"Ice cream. I'd like an ice cream, please."

"I'm thinking seriously about moving. Maybe to California. Start over."

"You know how many times I've flunked in my life?"

"Damn it! That's going to stain."

"Something just ate Barry Cartwright!"

"Thank you for not calling the cops."

"What's in the bag, your blow-up doll?"

"No. I've got something you're really going to like."

"A guy got killed at my country club last night."

"It was an animal attack."

"It's like nothing I ever saw before. I thought you guys might want to see it."

"You have a serious bug problem."

"When did you guys get a dog?"

"I don't think that's a dog. It's like some kind of rodent."

"Come on, cutie pie."

"What the hell is that thing?"

"Pick me up in an hour. No, two."

"Two single beds, please. We're fighting."

"They're adapting. We have got to shut it down."

"You're overreacting. We can handle this."

"I used to be arrogant like you."

"We have to kill these things while we still can."

"All right. I'll talk to him, but I can't promise anything."

"Why the police escort? You're not under arrest, are you?"

"You'll take care of the check, right?"

"You have to admit, this animal attack has kind of an ominous feel, doesn't it?"

"This entire area is just a honeycomb of caves and old mine shafts."

"It's flying away. Is that a bad thing?"

"You know how I hate shopping."

"I think that colour is great on you."

"Ladies, there's a flying extraterrestrial in the store. Can we focus?"

"I said, just a second, bitch."

"Here, birdy-birdy-birdy-birdy-birdy!"

"If I was a giant, nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?"

"I think we've established that "ca-caw" and "tookie-tookie" don't work."

"Please stop. You are embarrassing me."

"Sing. Rub some funk on it."

"Can someone tell me why I was not informed..."

"Right now, media vultures are camped outside my office."

"The red markings indicate the growth of the alien ecosystem."

"In two months, the United States officially belongs to them."

"And we are extinct."

"Admit it. You're glad to see us."

"We just blew a giant alien bird out of a store."

"We're covering up your mess."

"Disseminating the alien organisms outside the secured area."

"My state is being overrun by aliens."

"My plan is to evacuate everyone from within five miles of the perimeter."

"...then burn the alien menace the hell out of there."

"With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm."

"All this talk about napalm and burning makes me nervous."

"Sir, one of the creatures just destroyed video four."

"They've evolved into primates."

"All the monitors are down."

"The fuzzy no-nose chimp?"

"They're coming through the elevator!"

"Hold your fire. You'll get someone killed."

"Science project is over."

"The real money's in the private sector."

"This may not be the best time to be drinking."

"You can trust me. Just talk to me."

"Some of the original liquid material from inside the meteor."

"Why hasn't it evolved like the rest?"

"Being in an airtight case, nothing to metabolise with. But we've still no clue."

"The organisms were dormant in space. They hit Earth's atmosphere and bam!"

"Heat. Fire. That's the catalyst."

"So much for the military option."

"We're going to blow those creatures straight to hell."

"Oh, really? Well, unfortunately, I'm not available."

"Thought you could use a brew so you can mellow out."

"Have a beer, relax. It'll help with your research."

"I'm looking at the periodic table on your T-shirt. I'm seeing a pattern."

" We are a carbon-based life form."

" But the aliens are nitrogen-based, right?"

"Selenium. How much do we need?"

"I hate to be a buzzkill, but where will we get that?"

"Head & Shoulders."

"Yeah, that's the stuff. The active ingredient is selenium sulphide."

" We'll get the troops together. We're getting shampoo!"

"There's something I should tell you, but I don't know exactly how."

"Let's shampoo us some aliens!"

" Where are you, my little aliens?"

"We've no time for you to act like you know what you're doing."

"I'll take a pair of spy glasses and a hot chocolate."

" Run for your life!"

"Survival of the fittest. Often, the simplest organism is the strongest."

"It's getting ready to divide."

"Wait. There's going to be more of these things?"

"So that Head & Shoulders idea. Is that still the plan?"

"We have to find a point of attack."

"It's payback time!"

"Give me back my friend, you big sphincter!"

"Fighting the alien menace can be tough work."

[soapboxca]

Let’s save the planet using stats!

I recently came across a blog post by The Pembina Institute entitled The most important climate numbers you need to know. The post uses data from the National Inventory Report (NIR), which is the account of all GHG emissions from Canada that we submit to the UN annually. Using this data, Pembina highlights two provinces and three sectors: Alberta and Ontario are responsible for 60% of the countries emissions, and Oil and Gas, Transport, and Buildings are responsible for 70% of our emissions. If we want to reduce our emissions, those are the places we need to focus.

So I thought k great start. Let’s revive my blog that’s been dead for 2 years and dig deeper into the numbers to see what we can learn!

BTW this post is v v long so there’s I made a bullet list TLDR at the end. K cool moving on.

1. I Wanna Talk About Transportation

Ok so I know Oil and Gas is the biggest emitter and super important for Canada’s climate strategy, but I want to take that sector out of the conversation for now, and here’s why. We already know the best way to dramatically reduce emissions from producing oil and gas: stop producing oil and gas. That just will not happen as long as it makes money to keep going. Since the industry and emissions are mostly restricted to Alberta, and since almost all of Alberta’s oil is exported, there’s not much to talk about for the rest of Canada other than opposing pipelines.

Once we take Oil and Gas out of the picture it becomes clear that we have to look at Transportation. Here’s a Pareto chart of the remaining emissions by sector:

Transportation is by far the biggest emissions source, and it’s not even close. The next place sector doesn’t even produce half the emissions transportation does.

Transportation is also interesting to talk about because, unlike oil and gas, it directly impacts all of us. Each province and territory has people and things that need to move around. If we dig in we might find that some provinces do it better than others, and find areas where we can learn from each other.

2. Let’s Break It Down Further!

So what’s nice about the NIR is it breaks the numbers down into useful subcategories. Within Transportation, there’s Passenger (moving people), Freight (moving stuff), and Other. Here’s a pie chart of how that breaks down:

With each of passenger and freight transportation accounting for about half of all transportation emissions, clearly we have to tackle both. So let’s look at them one at a time.

3. Moving People Depends On How Many People Need To Move. Shocking.

Ok so you might assume that passenger emissions would be proportional to population; the more people moving around, the more emissions generated. And yeah good assumption. Here’s a graph showing passenger transport emissions from each province against population:

The dots are all pretty damn close to that linear trendline, meaning yeah emissions from passenger transportation in Canada correlate pretty dang strongly with population. While this is quite logical it’s a bit disappoint. To me, this means it’s likely that no province is really leading the pack for passenger vehicle emissions reduction, so there aren’t many lessons to be learned. We’ll probably have to look internationally for best practices we can copy.

What the graph also shows that I didn’t mention before is that you can separate the data into personal vehicles (cars, light trucks, motorcycles) and mass transportation (bus, rail, domestic aviation). When you do this, you see that personal vehicles account for nearly all (91%) of the emissions from passenger transportation. That’s a big deal. To me, that means that if we want to do better on passenger transportation, we have to figure out how to get people to drive less, or at least drive more efficient cars. Improving our mass transportation vehicles by doing things like replacing buses with electric ones is nice and all but unless that translates to people getting out of their cars and onto those buses the impact will be small.

4. BuT wE cAn Go DeEpEr!

I have one more graph for the passenger data that brings up some interesting questions, so stay with me.

Ontario, Quebec, Alberta, BC, and Saskatchewan (in that order) produce the most emissions from passenger vehicles. These five provinces account for 87% of Canada’s passenger vehicle emissions. Here’s a graph of the per-person emissions from passenger vehicles for these provinces since 1991:

So I know I said all provinces are doing about the same when you control for population, and they are but if you zoom in a few interesting things show up here that raise questions I definitely don’t have answers for.

BC and Ontario match really closely from 1991 to 1998, and then they split up with BC doing better than Ontario. What happened in 1998?

BC and Ontario are now close again because BC’s per-person emissions have been climbing since 2011. What happened in 2011?

Saskatchewan has been steadily increasing its per person passenger emissions with a big increase from 2005 to 2010. During this same time period, the four largest provinces all had per-person emissions decreases. What is going on in Saskatchewan, especially since 2005?

These would be fun research questions!

5. We Also Move Stuff And Things

Oh yeah Freight. So freight is currently responsible for 41% of Canada’s transportation emissions, but this wasn’t always the case. Take a look at this graph comparing emissions from passenger and freight vehicles since 1990:

While passenger vehicle emissions have been increasing with Canada’s population, emissions from freight vehicles have increased twice as quickly. Especially between 1995 and 2012. That’s super interesting! I would love to know why.

We can also graph freight emissions against population for each province the way we did for passenger emissions. Here is that:

Looks a bit different! The dots aren’t sitting nicely on the line anymore. Ontario and Quebec have lower per-person freight emissions while Alberta and Saskatchewan have higher emissions. Perhaps Ontario and Quebec have some best practices to share! Would love to look into that.

6. BuT wE cAn Go DeEpEr (again)!

Ok last graph. Remember how 5 provinces are responsible for 87% of passenger vehicle emissions? Those same 5 provinces produce 88% of freight emissions. So here’s the graph of freight emissions per person from those provinces since 1991:

We already knew that some provinces were doing better than others, but now we can really see some differences! Here are my highlights:

Quebec and Ontario match really closely, like too close to be a coincidence. I know they’re neighbours and ship a lot between each other but there’s gotta be more to it than that.

From 1991 to 1995, the big 4 provinces were pretty flat. Then Alberta yeeted itself up for almost two decades while the other three stayed pretty flat. What happened in Alberta from 1995 to 2014 that didn’t happen in the rest of the country? And how did Alberta start to turn it around in 2014?

Once again, Saskatchewan has been steadily increasing its per person freight emissions with a big increase starting around 2005. What is going on in Saskatchewan, especially since 2005, and is it the same thing that’s driving passenger vehicle emissions?

7. So What Did We Learn Kiddos? (The TLDR)

I had fun I hope you did too. After all these graphs here’s what we got!

Pembina pointed out that:

Alberta and Ontario produce 60% of Canada’s GHG emissions,

Oil and Gas, Transport, and Buildings are responsible for 70% of our emissions

I pointed out that:

Transportation produces almost as much GHG emissions as oil and gas, and more than twice as much as the next most polluting sector.

Emissions among Canadian provinces from passenger vehicles are highly correlated to population, so we probably have to look outside the country for new best practices that will have a major impact.

Personal vehicles produce 9 times as much emissions as buses, trains, and airplanes combined, so we should focus more on getting people out of their cars rather than things like electric buses (though we should do that too).

Emissions from freight vehicles have increased twice as much as those from passenger vehicles since 1990

Alberta and Saskatchewan have the highest per-person emissions from freight vehicles, while Ontario and Quebec have the lowest.

I asked the following questions:

Why did BC suddenly start doing better on per-person passenger vehicle emissions than Ontario in 1998 when they were very similar before then?

Why have BC’s per-person passenger vehicle emissions been climbing since 2011?

Why did Saskatchewan have a big increase in per-person passenger vehicle emissions from 2005 to 2010 while the four largest provinces all had per-person emissions decreases?

Why have Quebec’s and Ontario’s per-person freight emissions been almost identical to each other since 1990, and what are they doing that other provinces can learn from?

Why did Alberta have a sudden increase in per-person freight emissions starting in 1995 that lasted until 2014 while the other largest provinces stayed fairly flat? And how did Alberta start to turn it around in 2014?

Again, why did Saskatchewan have a big increase in per-person freight emissions starting around 2005? Is it the same thing that’s driving passenger vehicle emissions?

So in the end after all that I basically just took a starting point and made a whole bunch of starting points for further research but that’s showbiz (read: research) baby! Anyway if anybody has answers to any of my Qs, do let me know! I luv 2 learn. But seriously if anybody actually reads this whole thing and wants to talk about it I would love to talk about it.

[frogmajick]

Religion

When I turned thirty I didn’t become an adult. I became a walking pathology. I became questions on a sheet at a doctor’s office profiling me to find out what kind of sorry, sad, unhealthy bastard I was.

Smoker? Yes, since 1994

Gravitas? 2 live births, 1 miscarriage

Weight? Obese

And I did as I was supposed to, yearly check up to tell me I was still fat and should still quit smoking. But it was all good because I was young and healthy. Mostly.

Thirty five.

God, doc, you know, sometimes I feel bad. School pressures family pressures life pressures it’s all getting me down. Boom- you’re depressed, take these pills and you’ll feel better.

And so I did. And they didn’t. So I went to a new doctor who said that the light at the end of the tunnel was a different color and shape because I was on the depression metro and I needed to be on the Bi-Polar Express. It didn’t matter to me so long as I got help.

I joined the church of psychopathy and I found a religion.

A religion is something you do every day. People say 'I do this religiously' meaning their dishes or their laundry or their hair and make-up. Few of them acknowledge the religiosity of being sane. For some people they call it a regimen. Some just call it their meds. Some consider the morning ritual of a strong anti-psychotic and a hot cup of coffee to be an act of communion. Body of mental health, blood of mental health. Bless you child. There are those who don't know and will never know the importance of this ritual. They won't know about the ecstasy of mania, the whipping thoughts, the frenzy of action, the high you feel. The euphoria. Like being lifted higher and higher, there is no wrong, there is only joy and happiness and the knowledge that nothing can go wrong. They don’t know the bliss of cleaning They won't know the agony of the crash. The down cycle. The depression. The crushing feeling of doom, of being removed from the grace of the mania and left to rot in the bowels of a personal hell devised by one's own mind. Every terrible thought, every trespass that may happen. The only way to escape is sleep, is silence. The only way to move is slowly and the only hope is in a bottle with a childproof cap. Sometimes that hope centers on the question of just how many one may need to take to end this forsaken suffering. But then the mania comes again and the depression fades like a bad dream. Nothing could be wrong! The holy communion of the blue pill white pill pink pill- a rainbow of pills, try the one that fits you best, the one you believe in- that communion of that solid small bit of pharmaceutical devotion laid on the tongue so carefully. With reverence. And the mouthful of coffee tea water- does it really matter- blends the two together in a whole. Transubstantiation happens somewhere between the glottis and the gullet. The body and blood of sanity fill you in this act of devotion, this act of pure faith. How do we know the drugs work? Even the doctor who lays them in your hand and bids you peace and wellbeing doesn't know exactly how they affect the brain. No, it's an act of faith, this religious folly that brings the pill to the mouth. It's the hope of sanity. The hope that a religious act will keep one stable and not bouncing toward a high or sinking to a low. An even keel, guidance for this world we're in and a solid, tangible lifeline to keep us settled and solid and content to be in this world we are in. A religion is something you do every day. Some people just have to work harder than others at their faith.

And no one gets out without their faith being tested because when the mind is steady and even then the body begins to fail.

Ten years later and you begin to sweat. Not a little, no, a torrent. You sweat and can’t breathe and turn red and people wonder what is wrong with you and if it’s because you’re obese and then one day you chalk it up to weather and nerves and leave it be. But then you start crying. You start crying at cats that slip and fall and dogs with three legs and children who begin to cry and you cry at the poetry of a crushed flower and the profound grief to be had in a reader board that has lost a letter so it says Taco Bell Live Ma. Yeah, Taco Bell, Ma would like to live.

These kinds of tears can’t be right so you go to the shrink to say the holy Eucharist might not be so holy anymore and the therapist grills you and then laughs in your face. You don’t need an old priest or a young priest and you don’t need different antipsychotics. Get thee to the OB/GYN.

Oh yes, you’re not mental, you’re menopausal, which you might have actually assumed if you were not already fighting a daily battle with sanity as it was. Blue pill pink pill white pill, now more pills. And if the pills don’t work we’ll carve it out of you because you’re done breeding, done being a woman. You don’t need it and you know now-days we just pull it right out the vagina. It’s the most brutal inside-out circumcision invented.

But you’ll feel better. Millions of women suffer mental illness, every menstruater hits menopause. Medicine and surgery, medicine and surgery, bow to the religion of health.

What do you mean you can’t bow because your skeleton is broken?

Spondylolisthesis degenerative disk disorder stenosis osteoarthritis. So your back hurts, right?

Sure, except no.

Smoker? No, I quit in May after 20 years.

Gravitas? 2 births, 1 miscarriage, one foster child not of my body but of my heart (that doesn’t count on an ob/gyn chart)

Weight? Obese…and honey that’s not going to change because I’ve been fat and happy about it since the days I was well within the BMI and my daddy told me I was built like a brick shithouse and destined to be a linebacker. Since my mother pointed out at every opportunity that I had a little tummy as she fed me pie nightly. Since my grandma simultaneously taught me to bake what tasted the best and then told me my bottom was too round for boys to like me and I should learn to dance. I like my body. I am soft and my kids like to hug me and sleep on me. I’m good for children and I fit perfectly against my husband in bed. Do I wish I was skinny? Yes, but only because I could get cute clothes in a store that didn’t cost 5 dollars more. It’s not for looks or health, it’s about money. Money and faith.

So I’m forty and I’m a pathology. I’m a walking sickness, mentally and physically. I have my disabled placard to put in my window so I can walk to the shop where I can’t find clothes to fit and can only, on a good day, manage to walk slowly for 20 minutes and then give up and come home.

Home to the shrine where I have another ritual. A darker, more secret ritual.

Blessed is the Hydrocodone that stills my pain. Blessed is the Robaxin that calms my muscles. Blessed is it Fentanyl that gives me some long term relief.

It’s the hope of a pain free night just as much at the daytime pills give you hope for sanity.

The church of pharmacology is the church of hope. And sometimes that hope is all I have to get me to the next day.

A religion is something you do every day. Some people just have to work harder than others at their faith

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 133 Results

The chapter poll closed with 1456 responses. This month’s poll results brought to you by /u/berthototototo ,u/staraves, u/_Puppet_, @shifter-lines​ and @momtaku​

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,365 responses

Nearly 80% of the fandom rated chapter 133 as good or great. In comparison with most SnK chapters, that’s on the low side. Since this was yet another set up chapter it’s possible that the fandom is waiting to see what payoff there will be before they throw their full support behind the developments introduced this month.

lmao good chapter but wtf

It's the best paced chapter since the rumbling began.

All I can say is I can't wait for the next chapter.

Great start to the end

There were a lot of contrived moments here on the first read but I'm hopeful things will play out in an unexpected way.

One of the better recent chapters, felt well paced and most of the dialogue and events seemed logical and fitting. Nice to see one more location added to the AOT world before the end.

I’ve been doing polls for almost 30 chapters now, this is the first where I have no chapter rating, I need to see how all this plays out before I decide if I love it or hate it.

All of this self-reflection is annoying. Though that feeling is just more because of the fact that waiting a whole month for another ‘these hands have killed’ chapter is not exciting when we are so close do the end and I just want to see the ending already.

Average as fuck, the intention is good but the execution is not it, and the dialogues feel very forced and repetitive.

Not good at connecting the narrative plot points 'cause there's...hundreds of them at this point but I'm here for the character interactions and to see just what the hell that "See you, Eren" from the beginning actually meant

Good but I worry about the pacing, some of this should have came earlier, will wait to see what comes from it.

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT 1,379 responses

Looks like a lot of people were glad to see that this conflict will not be resolved with a little heart-to-heart (34.9%). People also loved seeing child Eren being spooky with his new pal Ymir (18.8%). 11% liked seeing Eren’s friends reach out to him – or at least try.  9.4% liked Levi, because Levi. Connie, Jean, and Reiner sharing a moment of understanding warmed 8.6% of your hearts. 5.6% were happy to see Falco and Gabi brainstorming, and seeing Mr. Leonhart being a badass was the favorite moment for 3.6%.

I don’t know how it didn’t come up in this survey that Levi called Armin COMMANDER. That was my favorite moment by far. I also enjoyed the confirmation of Levi still caring about Eren. He always uses Zeke as a scapegoat. I somewhat feel bad for monke.

Isayama yeeting the Talk no Jutsu trope was my favorite moment!

I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT FLYING TITAN IS CANON LIKE HOLY SHIT

It was tough for me to decide a favorite moment from this chapter because every scene in this one was awesome. That's how fantastic of a chapter it was! I guess the only issue for me is the possibility of the Flying Titan actually becoming a reality when it felt too good to be true, but looking back, I think there was some foreshadowing to this becoming a reality.

God bless Isayama for the flying titan reveal

Favourite part was child Eren and Ymir standing in the paths.

Kiyomi being willing to die and sink with the ship actually hit me harder than I expected

Levi being the smollest husband is my favorite.

The gang forgiving RBA makes my heart weep with both melancholy and joy

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP 1,363 responses

Kiyomi and Eren are similar shades of green in this chart but I assure you it was Eren’s ranting about freedom (39.8%) and not Kiyomi’s talk of sacrifice and atonement (1%) that granted Eren this month’s MVP. Armin (18.9%), Mr. Leonhardt (9.5%), Falco (6.2%) and Levi (5.7%) are the other visible pieces of the pie.

#TEAMEREN

ANNIE IS THE BEST GIRL!

EREN IS A GENEROUS GOD

Falco is a good boy

Proud of armin for not backing out from commander role🤩

I love every time Eren shows up nowadays, other characters are getting a little worrying tho, Its starting to seem like alot of them have outlived their usefulness to the story and are just repeating stuff until their deaths.

Reiner handsome. That is all.

eren is just a cool badass

  WILL ONYANKOPON ACTUALLY MANAGE TO GET THE PLANE TO EREN WITHOUT ISSUE, OR WILL THE HALF-CAPACITY FUEL TANK BECOME A RELEVANT POINT? 1,363 responses

Because Isayama has made clear that details as small as which direction Grisha is looking while leaving the house can’t go unquestioned in this manga, we asked about the fuel tank which is at half-capacity thanks to Floch, and whether or not it will present problems for those on board. A strong plurality, at 44.2% of you, think that they’ll run out of fuel, but it won’t be a massive hindrance. In second place, with almost exactly half of the votes as the first answer, 22.2% of you think Onyankopon will use the plan in some sort of suicidal attack, and just under 20% think the fuel tank will be a major roadblock in some other way. Lastly, ~14% of voters said they’ll make it just fine despite the damage. I admire your optimism.

I hope in vain that Onyankopon doesn't die. He won't even get to go to PATHS if he does.

  THE TALK WITH EREN FINALLY HAPPENED… SORT OF. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DESCRIBE YOUR THOUGHTS? 1,371 responses

Multiple select charts aren’t the prettiest but we like to think they do a good job of showcasing what the fandom thinks on a topic. While none of the options this month reached any sort of consensus, they do provide a snapshot of what we want and expect from Eren.  

Of the items offered, only “I’m glad Eren was firm and there will likely be no Talk no Jutsu” reached 50%. The other more popular choice were “I’m surprised Eren reached out to them instead of the other way around” (41%), “THAT PATHS STUFF IS STILL SO COOL” (38.8%) and “I’m glad so many were able to talk to him and it wasn’t just EMA” (33%).

The more negative options, ‘Eren was unnecessarily cruel, his friends deserve better”(13.8%), “I’m mad that Eren is letting them fight him. It’s like he wants to lose” (10.6% ) and “I don’t like Eren dismissing the possibility of talking” (8.1%) received only a fraction of support.

it looks like Eren is committed to HIS path, which backs his friends into a really tough corner. I can't say I'm surprised; we've seen it coming since they got to the ocean, we just didn't want to believe it.

Paths do be lit tho

I really wish Eren would stop the rumbling. He had done more than enough.

Eren's speech, didn't feel like him talking. It was way too typical, he used his catchphrases way too many times. This could be done on purpose for an in-story actual reason, but if it wasn't, i'm not a fan of it. The alliance talking about the colossal being able to defeat eren, makes me think armin won't be able to. I think Armin and Reiner still don't understand Eren's intentions, i fully think he does not want to be stopped. Eren is going to try to kill all of them.

I love Eren dialogues. I just loved the chapter and paths scene so much. Quality character development!!

Feel sad about Erens "catch me if you can" - I wish that the alliance will work together with Eren ....

Thank god for no talk no jutsu

he's been allowing them to use their titan powers, even against the Yeagerists who were supposed to defend their country. That means Eren doesn't dise with his friends, but doesn't side with his own supporters. Yeah, Eren's a dick.

  WHOSE WORDS TO EREN DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST? 1,366 responses

The attempts at talking to Eren were almost a character rorschach test as each individual brought up what was closest to their hearts in an effort to stop the rumbling. While none of their pleas impacted Eren, we were curious which one the fandom enjoyed most. Levi’s promise of an ass kicking (32.5%) was the favorite, distantly followed by Mikasa’s more impassioned “Let us share your burdens” (24.9%).

Levi beeing sassy again - awsome

Mikasa saying she wants Eren to share his sins with her may be a hint for what's to come. I think she won't be able to let go of Eren and turn against the alliance to protect him.

Levi is hilarious

Honestly, the alliance have been so clueless that even Eren himself had to spare a moment for them, explicitly telling them that talking is never an option with Eren ‘I must always fight’ Yeager.

Look man, I'm an Eremika shipper and all but I really wish Mikasa didn't go on her usual "I'm here for you Eren" spiel in paths. It felt a little forced, and this would've been a good arc to have some more upfront and major changes as to how Mikasa sees Eren, but to get that usual "100% devotion" Mikasa that we've seen all series after we got signs that she's changed how she sees Eren was kind of disappointing.

I knew that the alliance talking to Eren won't work

Everyone is all sad while trying to convince Eren to stop the rumbling, and there's Levi cracking up jokes 😂 

  EREN PREEMPTIVELY TOLD THE ALLIANCE TO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH HIM AND TO ATTACK HIM WITH THE INTENT OF KILLING HIM. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 1,357 responses

It seems to be another month of Isayama dangling Eren’s motivations in front of us, though this time we got some substance in the form of some surprising words to the alliance. The most popular interpretation is the straightforward one (30.1%), that it’s as Eren says and he is genuine in not wanting to step on his friends’ freedom. Up next is people who support Reiner’s hypothesis of Eren wanting somebody to stop him (21.2%), with decreasingly popular choices being Eren wants to be killed only after the rumbling is complete (15.5%), he’s just continuing his daily “freedom” spiel (12.4%), and he’s confident in the alliance’s inability to stop him (11.6%). Many opted for the write in option to share their original theories (5.6%).

Seemed like a cry for help to me.

Im convinced that he wants to be stopped, he just doesn’t realize it yet.

Inconsistent character writing lol

Eren loves his friends, so much that he is unleashing the Rumbling, but he only cares about them on a physical level. He wants them to stay alive, no matter how they are mentally.

Eren is in the darkest part of his mind and wants to die. However, his obession with freedom is strong, so he keeps moving foward and won't allow his friends to just kill him without fight.

He wants the alliance to challenge fate, as he thinks the destruction of the world is inevitable

I believe that Eren does want to win but doesn’t want to live with the guilt, but I just felt this moment was too forced, and honestly a little bit cringe, just didn’t feel like something Eren would say

It wasn't Eren talking

No idea, not even sure it's really Eren talking

There are only a few possibilities that make sense: Reiner is right and he wants them to kill him, Ymir is controlling the PATHS and trying to imitate Eren but doesn't quite understand that his concept of freedom is hypocritical, OR Eren only sees restriction of freedom enforced through PATHS as being truly taking away their freedom, like he thinks it's alright to manipulate, gaslight, beat and imprison his friends using his own voice and hands, but using the Founder is somehow too far.

it’s all a part of his plan even tho the fandom hates it. Just wait for it guys ;)

Eren wants the world to see that the Eldians they hate are saving them from the rumbling

If allaiance kills eren then the world will respect eldians more

Zero Requiem

I don't like the Lelouch scenario, it is contrary to what Eren's character really is. I believe there is more to this because why say it now, when he could have said it before ? There has been many holes with what he's doing.

Lelouch ending

LELOUCH LELOUCH LELOUCH

It means he values freedom over safety... which makes him look like a hypocrite because a lot of times he had no problem taking their freedom from them lol

hes hypcritical asf, getting to decide who can be free or not when he that literally was bothered by that himself. I think it was very selfish

Eren has become crazy had this point and his reasoning doesn't make sense, he's trying to dodge reality

Eren is just trying to define, create, and justify his own version of “freedom” because he can’t let go of his childish way of looking at the world. Letting his friends have their “freedom” almost feels like a cheap necessity he had to toss into his homemade definition of freedom.

Eren is a fucking narcissist, a hypocrite.

Eren is dumb

Eren is just doing what he has to do.

Eren's cool as fuck

He's literally giving them the choice to do what they want. The freedom of will. It's up to them to decide if they want to stop him by force or not. At the end of the day, Eren is already firmly set on doing what's necessary for Paradis.

If they want to die trying to stop the rumbling, they are free to do so. But, he wants them to know that negotiating is useless

Reiner is wrong, Eren doesn't want to be stopped because the Cringevengers are trying to take away his freedom to destroy his enemies

  EREN IS DEPICTED AS A CHILD, AND WITH THE SAME SHADED EYES AS YMIR ONCE DID. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING EXPLANATIONS DO YOU BELIEVE? 1,339 responses

Child Eren appears again in this chapter, but now resembling Ymir even more. About half of the fandom thinks that the shaded out eyes is a sign of loss of free will. The other popular option, at 42.1% is that they’re depicted at the age they first got their titan powers. The idea that their eyes symbolize ignorance and that their child form symbolizes immaturity each got about 16%, and 10.5% of fans think Yams drew it this way just to look cool.

Alliance POV. They cannot understand Eren/Ymir, therefore their eyes (=windows to the soul) are obscured. Note that Ymir's eyes gradually got clearer from Eren's POV as he humanized her.

Carla died when Eren was still a child. He never healed from this traumatic experience, his child-self is still strongly suffering, that why he appeared as a child. I believe that the child next to Ymir is the darkest part of Eren's soul.

child self image is reflective of eren entering a state of naivety so as to bear the pain and gravity of the rumbling which he has caused  

I think it symbolizes a kinda immature concept of freedom

"Slaves don't need two eye balls". Eren is a slave to freedom.

shaded eyes represent being blinded by their desire for freedom & child-like state represents their innocence even if deemed to be something more

The are the ages of their greatest trauma

Adult Eren couldn't live with the guilt so he's letting child Eren carry the weight.

Both of them are doing everything for the sake of others, at the moment they aren't even thinking about themselves. EREN wants the people he loves and cares about to live a happy life and for that he is ready to sacrifice himself.

Bert had shaded eyes when talking to Armin too. I think it means the character is going to do questionable actions but in a mysterious manner. If that makes sense…

Bertold had the same shaded eyes when he was acting as the villain in rts. Same for Eren/Ymir here. Like Bertold, he is willing to kill his friends

Eren could have split his psyche similar to Reiner did with Marco. He is so distraught from his actions that he is using his child self's willpower to continue moving forward.

What about that parasite thing that attached to Ymir in the tree? What if that's the big bad of the series, and has taken over Eren?

The eyes are closed because they are tapped into the Yggdrasil network and are looking at what is happening in the real world through an inner eye.

  YMIR APPEARS TO BE ALIGNED WITH EREN. WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS? 1,329 responses

Ymir and Eren standing side by side was quite the sight to behold, but what does it mean? The large majority at 55.9% believe it indicates that they’re on the same side wanting the rumbling. 19.2% believe Eren to be a pawn to her now, 15.6% think it’s the other way around, and 9.3% think she’s on his side but is having doubts about her allegiance.

Corrupted by the Eren’s idea of freedom (Ymir’s freedom was taken from her); Child Eren is a prisoner of Adult Eren’s future actions.

Eren is taking Ymir's place as the lord of the Paths. Like Ymir, after he dies, he will live on in the Paths.

I low key think Eren is kinda being controlled by Ymir/ conflicting with her

Eren is now like Ymir, enslaved in Paths to something bigger

Ymir started controlling Eren when he was a child

Ymir and Eren are tied together now. One is definitely being influenced by the inner emotions of the other (possibly Ymir's years of resentment for her life since we saw Eren "sleeping" at the end of one of the previous chapters with the birds)

Eren as a child symbolises regression, immaturity and narrow-mindedness. Eren refuses to be an adult (aka making compromises, listening to others…) and enslaves himself to the simplistic ideology he had as a child. Ymir was a literal slave who never managed to emancipate herself despite her power. I think the parallel between the two is to make Eren's state of mind more explicit than it already was in 131.

EY is cute and canon

  EREN SAYS ALL THAT’S LEFT IS TO FIGHT. WHO IN THE APPROACHING BATTLE WOULD HE BE WILLING TO KILL? 1,333 responses

Eren’s willingness to kill his own friends has been a topic of debate ever since the two sides separated, and this chapter pushed that question further. People seem to think Eren would hesitate the most with Mikasa and Armin, and hesitate the least with Pieck and Reiner, with the others falling into various middle positions, as the chart shows. The requisite to avoid Eren’s hit list seems to unsurprisingly be a pre-existing bond with him, with some leeway being given to children. Except for Gabi, it seems, but we all know how Eren fondly refers to her as “that brat”.

Eren has accepted that he will kill his friends, and wants to get it over with

Eren explicitly said "If someone tries to take my freedom, I won't hesitate to take theirs". That was in private to Zeke, so I don't doubt for a minute he will kill anyone in the Cringevengers he needs to in order to achieve it.

He is willing to kill them and I can't wait when some of the 104th will die already

Eren kill Armin already please

If Falco dies, I cries.

  IF NEITHER SIDE STEPS DOWN, EREN SAYS THEY’LL COLLIDE. WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE BATTLE? 1,349 responses

The time to make your bets is here! As the long-awaited battle between the alliance and Eren approaches, the audience is almost evenly divided on what they think the outcome will be. If this poll counts for anything, the alliance are projected as the victors (50.6%), narrowly edging out (by only 15 votes) the believers in Eren as the winner (49.4%). Whether you attribute the neck-and-neck result to the unpredictability of the setup, or simply too many clearly incorrect people from the opposing side to yours, is up to you.

The alliance will win GG WP

The alliance have 1 skilled warrior , 2 skilled former SC soldiers , 5 Titan shifters and 2 Ackermans but I still thinking that they can't defeat Eren or Ymir .

th Eldian empire will win in the end and the outside world will get what it deserves...I hope

Eren naturally shouldn’t be able to be stopped. He’s way too powerful.

I appreciate the fact that Commander Armin definitely has no tangible plan and it was the SC part manifesting their death throes for a peaceful end. Still I can't help but cringe and not feel anything at their attempt.

don’t think it’s a win/lose situation between eren and alliance, both with win and lose in some way and there will be some 3rd option

I can't wait to see the alliance-Eren fight. I just can't wait

Isayama's writing with his asshole. Whoever side gets to win, we lose.

  LEVI RETURNED FROM PATHS WITH MORE FINGERS THAN HE STARTED WITH. IS THIS A MISTAKE? 1,342 responses

We’ve seen Isayama make mistakes that the fandom took too far before, is this the case again? In an incredibly close vote, 51.5% think it is just a mistake, while the other half at 48.5% are convinced Isayama slipped in this plot development.

I've been saying this for years but Levi getting his fingers back from the Paths was definitely intentional and I'm sure the relationship between Ackermans and the Paths are going to be a major plot point. And after 132 I'm wondering if the 'afterlife' aspect will prove important too.

Is it just me or has Annie been going through a growth spurt lately? Either that or Isayama's artwork is getting sloppy. Not to even mention Levi's fingers…

This was quite a chapter. So many things that could happen especially with the flying titan. And then levi possibly having his fingers back. Then learning annie’s titan power. I heard aot will have a bad ending but i hope the the alliance will win.

Levi is being healed by the coordenate. Ackerman's blood is "half titan" so he must have recovered because of that just like titans do.

  WHICH COMMANDER HAD A BETTER TITAN DRAWING? 1,352 responses

Can Armin live up to Erwin? While he’s asking himself that, the fandom has decided that in the drawing department he has not. Erwin’s (in?)famous turkey titan drawing ate up 61.2% of the votes compared to Armin’s drawing from this chapter at 38.8%.

none of this would have happened if my goat erwin was still alive

  IF EREN IS INDEED STOPPED BY SOMEONE, WHETHER IT BE KILLING HIM OR INHERITING HIS TITANS, WHO MAKES THE MOST SENSE FOR THIS ROLE? 1,349 responses

The bets are on Mikasa being the one to stop Eren and/or inherit his burdens at 30.2%. Her words to Eren this chapter could definitely be foreboding in hindsight. Armin, leader of the uphill battle against Eren, is the runner-up at 26.5%. 18.6% think the answer is no one – presumably because Eren will either wipe ‘em all out, or be the one to decide his own fate. 13.5% think Reiner will be the one, he is the same as Eren after all. But everyone is the same nowadays, so who knows?

We then have Gabi (4.3%), Falco (2%), and Zeke, Jean, and Levi tied (1.5%). Annie follows with a tiny fraction (0.4%), and Pieck, the ultimate underdog, has the fewest votes at 2, or 0.1%.

...Hang on, aren’t we missing someone? Yes – even below Pieck, there is the underdog of underdogs: literally nobody thinks Connie will be the one to end it all. Will he ever be considered a real main character? :’(

I'm leaning towards Mikasa.

It feels like there was a lot of foreshadowing for Reiner to go head-to-head with Eren one final time.

Can't wait for Gabi to eat Eren.

  WILL LEVI KILL ZEKE? 1,322 responses

It’s been over 4 years both in and out of world since Levi vowed to kill Zeke. Will he end up doing it after all this time? The majority of fans think he will, at 54.8%. 18.5% think he’ll die before completing his goal, and 14.2% think he’ll reassess the situation and his goal of killing Zeke.

Both will die fighting each other

He may kill him and realise it was pointless, both as revenge and to stop the rumbling. Or possibly he'll be prevented from using violence as a solution this time. No forgiveness though.

He will defeat him but die just after killing him

He will fulfill his promise to Erwin but he'll die soon after

I do think he will but I don't think it's about Erwin's promise anymore

He will prioritize stopping Eren over killing Zeke

Please don't kill monke. Let him redeem himself first. Monke to save the world!

He won't necessarily forgive Zeke, but he will take pity on his sad state of affairs, but more importantly realise stopping the rumbling is more important than his petty revenge.

I predict Levi will kill Zeke, but it will be some kind of suicidal attack that will get him killed in the process.

Zeke will die but not by Levi's hand

He'll be forced to team up with him to save the world. But won't forgive him.

Nah, characters never get what they want, plus I don't see a real fight between them, that would be repetitive and too predictable and Zeke is probably too distressed/depressed over what happened in paths. And that would be really boring if Levi killed him tbh.

No, Because Zeke is already dead

I can’t believe the Beast Titan could be any animal they wanted, including a T-Rex, and that boring jackass picked a monkey. As if he wasn’t enough of a loser.

HOW CORRECT ARE ARMIN AND LEVI IN THINKING THE RUMBLING CAN BE STOPPED BY KILLING ZEKE? 1,343 responses

Levi suggests to the alliance that instead of ending Eren’s life to stop the rumbling, they could opt to kill the man previously called the key to the Founder, Zeke. Only 4.2% of people agree that this would help in stopping the rumbling, with the most popular response at 41.8% being it would fail due to Eren having full control of the Founder. The belief that Zeke’s death would have alternatively disastrous consequences is also popular, with 27.8% thinking Ymir’s presence would allow the titans’ advancement to continue, and 26.2% expecting the lack of command over the titans would render them mindless, but still functioning.

killing zeke probably won’t solve anything since the rumbling has already started, it might make a difference since eren isn’t royal but i think it’s just too late, and I really don’t want zeke to get killed

They'll find either that Zeke is already dead and was only needed alive for a moment to begin the rumbling, or that his continued existence is still necessary for defeating Eren somehow.

Everyone's talking about "stop Eren using Zeke," and here I am remembering "Zeke, stop Eren."

How is killing Zeke going to solve what Eren is doing? The poor guy just wanted to achieve his dream of eliminating all pp’s and instead he has to bear the burden of the destruction of the whole world.

Killing Zeke instead of Eren would be an emotional cop out for the Alliance. I hope that won't become the case, because that would make the ending of this manga super dissatisfying.

  WHICH WHOLESOME MOMENT BETWEEN COMRADES DID YOU LIKE THE MOST? 1,334 responses

In such dire times, wholesome moments really are appreciated. 43.5% loves seeing Annie recall her 104th days the most, while 28.3% appreciated Connie accepting comfort from Reiner. The rest of you were split pretty closely between Gabi and Falco being adorbs together and Armin emulating Hange in his interactions with Onyankopon.

Annie's flashbacks of the Warriors I rly liked, Reiner smugly looking at Bertholdt was rly heartwarming...

It is very heart-warming how close the surviving members of the 104th still feel to each other after all said and done, including Eren.

the 104 got some understanding /closure for previous actions, so that's nice

Gabi and falco should have listened to Annie when she told them to take care of the charcoal, instead of ruining the chapter, and spewing some nonsense

WHICH OVERUSED PHRASE FROM THIS CHAPTER ARE YOU MOST TIRED OF? 1,315 responses

Isayama sure is hammering home certain themes and character motivations; is it too much?  29.1% are tired of hearing everyone scream EREH, which is most often attributed to Mikasa, but it branched out this chapter to all his friends. 22.3% got bored of everyone being the same as each other; because when everyone’s the same, no one is. 19.5% are tired of every other word out of Eren’s mouth being freedom, 16.4% want Levi to get an original thought, and 12.7% want Eren to shut up about his other catchphrase and just stay put for one second.

Muh ereh

I LOVE YOU EREN KEEP MOVING FORWARD 4EVER

"The dialogue between Jean, Reiner, and Connie couldn’t have been worse. It felt like a bunch of stock phrases, “we’re the same”, “traitor”, etc.

Can't remember who said this and where but Eren does love his friends, it's just that he only cares about their physical well-being. ""You are free to do as I see fit.""

Ereh: Reiner, I am the same as you. I know that my enemies are the same but I have no choice because Society™

Rainah: No, you are wrong. I had a choice, but I attacked the walls because I was selfish and because I wanted to.

Ereh: Damn bro, same. Time to commit war crimes!

Man, each time I feel like the 104 can't be more annoying... I can't stand their whining about ereh, how they don't wan't to kill him and that ereh is just misguided, let's talk, please come back uwu.

The forced ""We're the same"" bullshit is really getting on my nerves. Reiner broke a wall with the goal of committing a genocide against innocent civilians. Jean and Connie killed a few soldiers with the goal of STOPPING a genocide against innocent civilians. No, these actions are not the same, and I'm sick of Isayama trying to make us think that they are. Now, I can forgive it because it seems like he's just going for a "Jean, Connie and Reiner all murdered former comrades and are racked with guilt because of it" comparison, which I'm fine with, but we're on thin ice here with the moral reductionism.

"We're the same". I'm sorry, are they suggesting the 104th and Warriors are ANYTHING alike? the 104th are victims of circumstance who were forced to make terrible choices. The Warriors willingly slaughtered hundreds of thousands. The Warriors are horrendous monsters beyond redemption, and it's insulting of Connie to say they're the same as those inhuman creatures.

even tho I liked that Connie and Jean acknowledge their similarities with the Warriors, they are still not the same, the Warriors were brainwashed coerced children when they started their crimes, the 104th were adults in high positions when they killed innocents and they enabled Eren to do the Rumbling by ignoring the signs, while RBA almost from the start fought to prevent the Rumbling.

The chapter's named Sinners, Isayama called feeding a person to a titan a sin right as chapter 84 came out, and EAMJC killing Bert still hasn't been addressed under these circumstances? They're saying they are the same as the warriors which isn't true in any capacity and I hope they fall on their ass soon to realise they are not at all the same.

Eren saying freedom all the time has been cringe since the EMA table confrontation.

  WHAT WILL FALCO’S FLYING TITAN BE USED FOR? 1,335 responses

The most popular two options, at roughly a third each, are that Falco will come in clutch at the final battle, and that he’ll save them when the plane starts to falter.

Carrying the Eldian evacuees to safety but remember there are also Marleyans there. A titan saving Marleyans, by its own will, will all help for the final peace treaties  

Either taking Annie, Gabi, Yelena, and Kiyomi off the boat and picking up the Alliance in case the Flying Boat runs out of fuel at any point, or carrying the Eldians from Liberio to safety in case there are no airships left at Fort Salta to escort them.

What's the point of Annie going off if she's just going to join back a chapter later after more aruani flashbacks?

I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IN THAT

Eren is baiting him with that "scenery" because he needs to have the 9 titans to end the Ymir's curse

Fly gabi to the founding Titan to snipe eren

I get a feeling that he is the one who may inherit Eren's titans. What would be the point of giving him the titan powers, if he doesn't have any bigger role to play? Falco is somehow opposite to Eren, so if the power of the FT and AT are given to such pure boy like him, the future of the world might become brighter.

I thought the dialogue hinted more at Annie eating Falco's spinal fluid and gaining wings. Also I think it will be funny if Falco's memories are not from the previous Beast Titan but is actually the "Scenery" (it looks suspiciously similar)

Transporting Annie, Gabi and Falco where needed for the plot.

I wonder if Annie mentioning eating birds meant anything, or if it was just another poor attempt at humour by Isayama?

He'll transform thinking he can fly, find out he can't, the ship will sink and that's how Isayama will kill the characters on the ship

He'll fly far away on a different planet and start a new colony. Oh wait there is atmosphere. Whatever paths will lend him some cheat codes :P

  THE PLOT POINTS HINTED AT IN THIS CHAPTER HAVE SPARKED SOME BACKLASH. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EACH ONE?

So many revelations! The most controversial ones are Falco potentially becoming a flying titan, him getting Zeke’s memories, and the Female Titan powers; though more people are ok with each of these than not. Eren letting his friends continue to use titan powers, and the Beast Titan being multiple animals are the most accepted developments.

The idea of a flying titan is forceful and too convenient. I wonder how Isayama will draw it and not make it look like something odd.

The flying titan thing is the dumbest and most forced thing in snk I've seen. It feels like something from a fanfic and just seems so out of place. It's so sudden and forced. There are other things that seem really rushed in this chapter too. Like the bits about Annie's titan etc.

Lol at people calling anything about this “forced”. AoT fans pretend they’re a lot smarter than they actually are.

The stuff about Female titan and flying titans and memories being distributed was maybe a bit too conveniently delivered in the very end of the whole series, but tbh it's still plausible in-universe. I take it as a sign that Isayama knows what he wants and he wants to do the ending justice, not just get it out there as soon as possible with as little work as possible."

I'm glad the Falco can fly because it means the rest of the alliance can join the final battle and him flying was well built up. What I think should have been set up better is this power coming specifically from the Beast Titan. All past users we have seen of it was a monkey and we're just being told it could be other animals now?

some things (like zeke's beast memories, female titan abilities, flying titan, warrior families being alive) were so convenient, but I'm not too mad about it

Someone had thought about the beast titan animal theory before, since there was a giant horse at those old "paintings" that tell the story about eldia in marley's perspective, it is in chapter 87 i think, when grisha's parents are lecturing him.

The falco thing is too forced. The beast titan being any animal isn’t that forced but it should’ve been revealed waaay before, not in the same chapter as this whole falco flying thing.

I fully expected the Liberio Eldians to be alive, but was not expecting them to be en route to Fort Salta.

I don't like how plot convenient it is that the Eldian evacuees from Liberio are heading for Fort Salta just like Eren with his rumbling titans, the Alliance fighters on the flying boat, and now apparently the boat crew as well.

I always thought that suggested all the forms that titan could take. In retrospect it feels obvious -- Yams, you practically telegraphed that by naming the kid Falco in the first place.

What do you mean it's stupid that Galliard cured world hunger by creating bacon with his Titan form? His name is PORCO

since when could the Female Titan copy other powers? Did I just miss that? Because it just comes across as a convenient way to get Falco, Gabi, and Annie to the final battle.

annie will eat a boat and tranform into a boat titan AND KILL EREN WITH HER BOATNESS.

  WHICH TRAIN MOMENT DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST? 1,332 responses

After being implied in 125, we get to see the Liberio evacuees on the run. As set up in that chapter, 44.8% were most happy to see Mr. Leonhart continuing to be a boss, while 33.6% were most hyped for another great double spread of the rumbling, as we’ve gotten for the last 4 chapters. Mr. Finger and the Brauns' concern for the children came in after that, followed by Karina and the Grices.

Papa Leonhart is a true badass. It wasn’t said if Bertolt’s mother was still alive, and the lack of Galliard parents/zeke’s grandparents was interesting- how the only warrior/cadet families shown were ones with a child that the readers know is still living.

Go Mr Leonhart we stan

I can’t believe karina is still alive

While having all the warriors' family (expect for the Yeagers) be there is forced and not natural, I'm really hoping that Falco gets to reunite with his parents.  He's so precious that he deserves that.  If the other parents die then so be it as long as I can have a Grice family reunion.

The approaching rumbling has pretty much lost its impact as a visual image because Isayama has overused it to death.

I liked the new character in the train

This chapter was a beautiful demonstration that ANNIE GOT ALL HER GUTS FROM MR. LEONHART THAT BADASS JUST REFUSED TO DIE AND FORCED THE MARLEYAN SOLDIERS TO GET TO THAT TRAIN WHAT A LEGEND

  WILL THE BLIMP BOMBERS BE EFFECTIVE AT ALL? 1,348 responses

The chapter ended on the cliffhanger of the blimp bombers approaching Eren, but will it be worth the wait? The Majority, at about 75% think they will take out a few colossals but nothing to write home about, 19.7% think Eren will wipe them out without a second thought, and 5.6% think they will help deal a decisive blow.

I think The bombs on the plane , The colossal Titan nuke ability and the blimps won't do any kind of damage to Eren .

the blimps Will be destroyed by founding titan eren using his thorn on his spine

I'm itching to see eren finally take some sort of action against marley's bombers :D

I’m wondering if Isayama is going to flip the script a bit and showcase how the advancing technology is gaining the upper hand over titans, and cut Eren off in his tracks abruptly/make him change his tactic. Or, if it’ll just be the catalyst for the alliance to stop him after they witness it has no major affect on the titans.

I'm not sure about the direction of the final battle but everything's colliding at Fort Salta one way or another. I'm curious about this volume's cliffhanger."

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 855 responses

Continuing with the theme of underwhelming reception, the responses to this were, at least compared to others months’, very low in quantity and disparity between the top words. The 5 most chosen words for this chapter, quantity and average rating included, are:

Setup/Set-up [32 ; 3.91] Amazing [28 ; 4.79] Freedom [25 ; 4.20] Awesome [19 ; 4.84] Paths [19 ; 4.16]

Honorable mentions (because they all had the same or only one less amount of picks) include Ereh, Interesting, Great and Pain.

  WHAT CHAPTER DO YOU THINK THE MANGA WILL END AT? 1,337 responses

Since Isayama’s self-appointed deadline of 2020 likely failed to stick, we’ve decided to revive this monthly question. The last time we asked, the majority of respondents chose 138 as the final chapter, which remains the most popular option now, though now losing a majority (39.5%), with 140+ (20.9%) and 139 (21.3%) hot on its tail. Perhaps it has something to do with the shared opinion that this chapter is one of setup, but it’s safe to say most of us are unconvinced this is ending anytime soon.

I think that the manga will end at chapter 138 or 139, and so 133 has to be the last "transition" chapter before the climax (end of volume 33/beginning of the last volume)

I think the story is going to end either at 138 or 139.

it will be over in a few months and both like Eren and Yams, we will finally be free.

I just hope Iseyama doesn’t rush to end this before the end of the year. 138 is the minimum

Idc at this point i just want it to end now it feels like it's stalling

I CANT WAIT FOR CHAPTERS 134+ TO COME OUT

im sad its ending :(

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,366 responses

Wow this was close!! We have a lot of hopes for next month’s volume closer. Of the options we presented, “The alliance finally taking action against Eren” (23.1%), “ZOOK WHERE ARE YOU” (22.1%) and “I’m always down for more Eren Jaeger” (20.9%) created a tight three way race. Historia’s return to the story was a distant fourth (12%).

I'm really curious about Zeke's whereabouts, I'm sure he will play another big role from now on

I’m just confused about Eren’s motivations and desires at this point.

Love the thought of a flying titan

levi better kill zeke next chapter!!!

Pls bring back historia

I just want to see Historia. Please I miss her lesbian greatness. Please I'm tired.

Next chapter is gonna be crazy

where is monke??

Isayama has something up his sleeves and I’m scared for the next chapter lol

Just let Levi kill Zeke already

Kiyomi backstory when?

One thought, the same as after every chapter, who's gonna bite the dust next ?

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,274 responses

Reddit (41.3%) and Twitter (40.7%) remain the two most active platforms for fandom discussion, with Twitter stealthily creeping up on Reddit ever since we allowed multiple selections. Discord follows at (21.6%), with those lucky enough to talk about SnK in real life close behind (20.4%). Wherever you discuss the series we appreciate your support of the chapter poll! Even the Snapchatters.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 365 responses

WOW, something something the japanese fans are not happy copypasta

The rumbing started some time ago and our heroes should get hungry in a little bit, will they be able to call pizza? Or something? Because it'd be very sad if they had to die without dinner :(

If Falco's cloud memories end up being child-Eren's view from last chapter, that would be incredible. So many characters will seemingly play an important role now that I have no idea what will happen next.

Reiner keeps thinking that the dialogue is about their guilt and since they are the same, then Eren wants to kill himself. But one of Eren's main statements is that he keeps moving forward despite everything (and he thinks Reiner is the same). I think Reiner's ""Eren wants us to fight him because he wants to die"" will be proven wrong, and he'll come to the correct conclusion in the end.

it's frustrating seeing eren continue the rumbling for the sake of his friends when it's not what his friends want

It's good but it could freak me out

it's honestly making me feel more hopeless...

Connie Reiner conversation was perfect to bring up his late best friend Bertholdt, but I guess they forget again and pretend they never killed him brutally, and he just got thanosed one day lmao

i'm really enjoying annie's development. she's went from one of my least cared about characters to one of my favourites just from her development with armin and reiner alone. really looking forward to how isayama will finish her arc.

Eren is gonna be defeated by the power of friendship and the power of the scarf he gave to boring Mikasa and also by two kids who should honestly be dead by now but somehow are still alive in this mess anyways boring chapter i don’t care what happen anymore I just want to this to end

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a Falco should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The Falco, of course, flies anyway because Yams don't care what nerds think is impossible.

I don't mind the "inconsistencies", because most of what people are complaining about is just nitpicking that doesn't have much of anything to do with the story being told. I just hope that we're done with setup and can finally get to the final battle next chapter.

Everybody in this chapter was admitting their sins, but Bert still wasn't mentioned when so far he's the biggest elephant in the room when it comes to Reiner / AMJC. They watched Armin devour Bert and felt nothing about it, they participated in a terrorist attack against Liberio and threw a party instead/didn't protest against it, but the moment they betrayed their countries and slaughtered their comrades, suddenly they're evil sinners. It really feels iffy as shit.

Eren should finish what he started, I actually support him, I do understand his anger, his past anger, and everything that has been done to the Paradis Island. The only way to stop the exterior world’s way they think about them, is killing them all (or nearly), otherwise it’s never going to stop. It would be too much of a childish way of actually allowing the alliance to stop him knowing that he’s really REALLY powerful.

I don't get why people are having so much backlash about Eren allowing the Alliance to kill him, it's not a goad of "come get me", it would be hypocritical of him to take away their powers to stop him when he preaches about freedom, because then he'd just want PERSONAL freedom when want he truly wants it freedom for everybody especially Eldians.

@ isayama as a yumihisu shipper stop the Ymir smelling Historia's hair gag it isn't funny :/

I just think Eren doesn't detour from his character cause he's persistent on continuing the rumbling, having his own definition of freedom while he also doesn't take away his friends' power to fight him. It's just kinda frustrating that Eren is so blinded by his concept of freedom and chose this path.

People who think Eren will complete the rumbling are in heavy denial.

I kinda hope that we get to see Hizuru at least once. I also believe that Mikasa deserves to know the truth about her Ackerman blood and that it does not make her a slave in any way. More than anything though I just wanna see her character done justice in this final arc so that people will finally quit complaining about her always being "Eren-obsessed." She is without a doubt one of the most misunderstood characters in the entire series.

I liked the Paths stuff. But I'm bored of the cringe 104th, Isayama please give back Bertholdt I wanna see him, Paths is the perfect opportunity T-T

I maintain that Eren allowing his friends to fight him and potentially die because FREEDOM is fucking weird and OOC because he had no problem taking their freedom away in 112. He lied to their faces (same chapter he stated that ignorance=slavery) and locked them in prison. He also couldn't stand losing anyone close to him for most of the manga (serumbowl, hiding info about Historia, etc.), even if it went against Paradis, and so far nothing states that he suddenly and consciously changed his mind on that. If there is no explanation for his sudden change in behavior then parts of his character just went down the drain for the sake of covering up a plothole (that could easily be resolved by just saying that the founder can't control the shifters......)

I read some theories of Hange come back as a Titan Shifter. The parallel of both Ackermans put their fist on Eren and Hange before they died. Eren came back to life again as Attack Titan after that. There are also similarities between Hange and Xavier, both do research on titans, wearing glasses and I wonder if we would find out who is this person that Zeke could trust, as Xavier mentioned. We've seen Hange almost died 3 times, during the battle with Bertholdt and Reiner revelation, the crystal underground with Kenny's team and Bertbomb. Hange managed to come back again and again. Maybe I'm just being hopeful here (crying again) but I respect if Isayama sensei really killed Hange for good. But but but.. T^T

I'm beyond sick of the alliance. If they win at this point Isayama has officially destroyed his own manga.

No Hanji = nothing to smile neither to hope for in this chapter. I hate Eren for not even reacting to her death.

Isayama's doing a terrible job with the Alliance. I have many reasons to want the rumbling to be stopped, but if I forget for one second that Armin's my fave charac., I need to ask WTH?? Characters say one thing while the narrative says another. Yo, every damn chapter they've been feeling guilty and shitty, yet their constant regretting says they're good people. The heroic sacrifices say they're good people. The refusing to bring the kid although the kid can fckin fly says they're good people. This is more complex than calling an oldman with a career built in genocide HERO then calling these lost as fuck teens SINNERS. Repetition won't make me buy it. Btw, I'm not taking proJeCtiNg five chapters from the end. I refuse to believe these characters are at the same. damn. mindspace as 10 chapters ago. Nah. Losing or winning, this finale should feel dignifying, not pathetic. I'm desperate here. :(

I'm tired of Eren and the alliance. My feelings are with Levi's promise, nothing else. What comes after that (if Levi is able to kill Zeke) it would be interesting (and amazing, I'm sure) conceptually, I will love to read it, but my heart is with our midget. He deserves to rest.

Also Levi...I get why he's still ""muh kill monke"", it makes sense with his character... But that doesn't mean it's not annoying.

I REALLY enjoyed this one

Can't believe that flying titan was a sort of joke since the Marley arc, but now it's a thing uh.

More evidence that freckled Ymir may be alive.

where bert

where IS ZEKE

Where Monke?

Ymir distorting the space and keeping Mikasa, Armin, Connie and Jean away from Eren makes me think she's controlling him.

YOU ARE FREE

There was so much information given to us this chapter. The reveal of the possibility of Falco flying and the possible death of Zeke.

There were some alright points to this chapter but for the most point, it seemed like so many things were forced, the most ridiculous points of this chapter for me were the warrior families living, and Falco deciding he can fly simply because he had a dream

This chapter (like all the others and the others to come) made me cry. 😔

This chapter made sense. Too much sense. All the plot points we’d been expecting like Falco being able to fly, Eren bringing the alliance into Paths to tell them they have to kill him if they want to stop the rumbling, and the folks from Liberio surviving, were all present. I think Isayama is about to throw some wild curveballs and ruin our whole careers

Something's wrong with Eren

Thanks Isym for ruining Armin and make him Annie's waifu

Nice, a little boring but also not disappointed

The alliance was so annoying this chapter. Reiner projecting his pathetic suicidal thoughts into Eren was just absolute cringe. Then Jean and Connie actually saying they’re the same as the guys who killed their friends and families just made me damn near bust a vein. Then Pieck was just being a passive aggressive bitch. I was hoping that at least the 104th would make it out alive but now I straight up want Eren to kill them all. They’re just flat out insufferable, incompetent traitors at this point.

Pieck passive aggressively roasting Armin felt good

Levi is sexy take the bandages off his face and let me see the scar

Levi's really fed up. he doesn't care anymore about eren he just wanted to kill zeke. But I do agree that by killing Zeke, maybe the rumbling will end.

People thinking that Eren became a slave are speedreaders

For me, the Rumbling represents Eren’s own death drive. He’s killing others and wants do die in the process or afterwards. And his talk to the alliance is what his "if you don't fight you don't win" ideology boils down to. Blind, narrow-minded kid!Eren doesn't really see any other outcome other than him completing the Rumbling (aka "winning") or getting killed by his friends before he can complete it. I (heavily) suspect Isayama is going for a third option though.

This arc has highlighted Eren's internal contradictions regarding freedom. We have him forcing his friends to fight, imprisoning them, beating them, gaslighting them about their own free will, but most of all forcing the rumbling onto them, which completely takes away their agency to choose their own fate. I would be disappointed if Isayama has dropped this consistent pattern of Eren contradicting his own ideals of freedom, just to rectify his mistake of making Eren too overpowered due to rule of cool (something I initially feared), so I'm hoping the true reason has to do with Ymir taking the reins and speaking for Eren.

Eren can't help what he wants and believes in and he can't stop his convictions to move foreword, but at the same time he recognises his friends own free will and different convictions and has decided that both sides will never be able to give up their own convinces or meet at a middle ground and has decided to just let things play out.

Eren is resigned to his fate to rumble the world, but he will not command his friends to do anything. He is willing to die by their hands.    

Eren prizes freedom above all else. If someone uses their freedom to try to kill him, he wouldn't mind

Eren isn't sure if he's right so he wants them to have the chance to stop him if they feel so strongly

Sooo due to the Warhammer nutcracker incident, does that mean Falco has a portion of the Warhammer, or something?

Spectacular chapter completely closing the possibility of dialogue between Eren and Aliance. It's good to see that Eren remains firm with his actions and hasn't changed his psychology of freedom out of the blue. Although many people think that Eren wants to die, I'm sure that he will fight against the Alliance to survive and carry out his plan to destroy humanity.

Still a Beruani shipper...and...OMF ANNIE IS THE 2ND SASHA SHE WANTS TO EAT GIVE MY BABY FOOD

Still feels like buildup ready for the final showdown already

Telling the story as if the alliance stands a chance, or has anything close to a complete picture of Eren, is still dumb

historia pov when

Honestly I think everything about Annie is forced and she never should have come back.

Hope Jean survives 💯

Hope will reveal historia's baby connection to the series

I believe in Isayama

I believe that Annie got the ability to harden by eating part of Reiner, I think by revealing her ability yams intends to lay foundation for Annie getting wings as well and joining falco in the sky fuck ya

I hope Annie's father dies in front of her

I hope any inconsistencies in Eren's character get clarified later.

I hope more is discussed about Historias child

I hope My beloved Eren kills levi and armin

I just can’t wait a pray that MAPPA don’t fail us💀

I don't know man why the fuck does a flying titan exist

AC130 INBOUND, wait, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BIRD THING AND WHY DOES IT HAVE BOMBS IN ITS HANDS

Isayama is a hack

isayama never misses

isayama the goat, incredible as usual

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week thirty-three

brief reviews of the songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 23 august 1997, 25 august 2007, and 26 august 2017

8.23.1997

25) "You Make Me Wanna..." by Usher

It's at once extremely difficult and painfully easy to stand out amongst the sea of R&B dudes. It's difficult because there's so many, but easy because, on some level, all the other R&B dudes are singing about devotion. They're either pledging eternal love or pledging eternal love on the condition that their intended return, either way, they are saying you're the one, you're absolutely the only person. Usher isn't even going to say he's going to leave his current girl for you. He's saying he wants to, but he's not saying that he's going to start that new relationship, he just really wants to, he wants to ditch this girl for the person he should have been with all along. It's one of the greatest songs about indecision ever made, well deserving of its place in the cultural consciousness.

58) "Hole in My Soul," by Aerosmith

Imagine the look on Steven Tyler's face when he realized hole rhymed with soul. "We can write so many songs now!" I like to think he exclaimed to his other, equally excited band members. "This changes everything!" I dunno, you're asking me to write about a song Aerosmith made at least five years past their prime and 20 years later. Like, I'm not gonna find gold in this swamp just 'cuz I brought a pan to it, y'know?

67) "After 12, Before 6," by Sam Salter

This is an okay song about fucking, but how many horny-ass R&B songs have we heard out of 1997? Like, just by making a song touching on infidelity in a novel and fun way, Usher makes his song more memorable than this synthy ballad of many runs. (Another point in "You Make Me Wanna..."s favor: whoever played guitar on that song did a stellar job.) Like, why would I wanna hear another slow jamz after "You Make Me Wanna..."? What is the utility of this decades-old song about schtuppin'? Hello hi it is 3 AM on a Wednesday I am behind on everything I got a super late start on this post I've barely started the Fall Out Boy post and I wasted ten minutes I don't have trying to wrap my mind grapes around this song.

76) "Have a Little Mercy," by 4.0

how come in songs like this from a group of r&b dudes every member of the group is singing in the first person. like shouldn't the other three dudes say "you should take him back," or am i supposed to believe that all four of these men are spurned lovers who are simultaneously making their pitch. "heck are these other three girls doing here?" "efficiency. our plea will not work unless we are harmonizing." like i wouldn't take any of these dudes back simply because none of them made me feel special.

77) "Supernatural," by Wild Orchid

We have brought up in YAS the idea that, if we didn't know who Fergie was, we would not mind her songs at all, but because they come with the Fergie package, we are annoyed by them, consider them horrible, awful things. I can now introduce ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE to the trial, which is the best kind of evidence IMHO. Wild Orchid had a song in the Top 20 for a little bit. Because I encountered "Talk to Me" in one of those periods where I don't feel like "learning" anything about the thing I'm gonna talk about, I didn't look up who the individual members of Wild Orchid were. TURNS OUT, WHEN I DION'T KNOW FERGIE WAS INVOLVED IN A PROJECT, I ENJOY THE RESULTS OF THE PROJECT A LIL' BIT. This isn't quite as fun as "Talk to Me," and I'm a little disappointed this isn't the '60s jam the first few seconds of the video led me to believe it was going to be, but it's a fun '90s pop/r&b ditty, and also that key change.

91) "Stranger in Moscow," by Michael Jackson

So we're all in agreement that Michael Jackson made a lot of great songs and was probably a pedophile, right? I dunno. Like, he's dead, so listening to his music probably won't hurt anyone, but at the same time, I'm not sure I'll be able to say anything of value regarding this song, because I'm either going to ignore the fact he was probably a pedophile or make a dumb joke about a sensitive topic, I dunno, this item on the list is like a treasure map with no Xs. I'm not about to dig in a billion places just to find one nugget.

92) "Free," by Ultra Nate

All dance music sounds more or less the same to me, yet I somehow mind this a lot less than the rest of the dance cohort. I guess I just think it makes sense to build a dance track around the line "you're free to do what you want to do." Like, yeah, that's a sentiment worth dancing to, I can do what I want, and that includes the hully-gully and other fashionable dances.

8.25.2007

22) "Ayo Technology," 50 Cent ft./Timbaland & Justin Timberlake

"We need a hook for this song. We have the biggest stars in music, the hottest producer on the track doing his usual thing, we just need that hook, something that people will SCREAM in the clubs!" What if we have J Timbies complain about technology? "...Hm. OK. OK. Tell me, I can't remember Fifty's ver -- sorry, Fiddy's verses, but does he mention technology at all?" Nah. "So J Timbies is going to complain about technology..." Just because. "Well should we add any references to technology to the song at all?" Nah. "I LOVE IT! Hit 'em with the suckerpunch! Gentlemen, and you are all gentlemen because this is 2007, we've done it! Another hit which will last in the public consciousness forever! Let us enjoy rich people drinks, like scotch probably!"

45) "If You're Reading This," Tim McGraw

this is boring and we don't talk enough about how tim mcgraw and josh groban at some point became the same entity

56) "The Pretender," Foo Fighters

Rock might be the one genre where "they just don't make songs like this anymore" is an actual statement worth making. Like when's the last time we heard a rock band attack a song like Foo Fighter does here? Even the latest Foo Fighters song felt perfunctory, like rock for the sake of making rock music in 2017, and not for the sake of making something cool and rebellious. And that's not to say there isn't great pure rock being made outside of the mainstream (shout out to Sheer Mag!), but the rock music that's trying to break into the mainstream either feels stale or is Imagine Dragons. Nothing feels even a tenth as dangerous as the first half-minute of the song, where things feel too quiet, where you know Foo Fighters isn't releasing one of their acoustic songs as a single and are waiting for something to happen to fuck you up. Rock in the mainstream doesn't have that danger anymore, and even this song, I'm describing a wait for something you know is gonna happen, not an anticipation of anything that could happen. I enjoy this song, is what I tried and failed to say in the rest of this passage. We're comin' up on 3:45 and I'm only vaguely aware where I am right now because I so rarely leave my apartment.

65) "S.O.S.," Jonas Brothers

These delightful little scamps made a whole bunch of adorable, enjoyable pop/rock music that isn't really worth any sort of deep analytical plunge! I still don't understand how one of these kids ended up making "Chains." Like, I get that Nick Jonas wanted to shed that Disney image, but he didn't need to prance around shirtless like a gigolo just so he could seem more "adult." (Bob are you trying to comment on how we treat male pop stars as opposed to female pop stars?) I'm just saying, I would respect Nick Jonas a lot more if it seemed like he respected himself. I don't think it's very meninist to try to sell sex, y'know? (Bob don't post this.) WATCH ME

74) "International Players Anthem (I Choose You)," U.G.K. ft./OutKast

This song is a miracle we don't deserve. "So I typed a text to a girl I used to see/Sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be/And I apologize if this message gets you down/Then I CC'd every girl that I'd see see round town" This song STARTS with those lines. And like Dre's verse obviously gets attention, but gosh, the way the beat is pared down to just the drum and bass when Big Boi begins his verse and the whole song goes quiet as a mouse as he says what he needs to say, it's so good. This song is so good, it's worth forgiving the minor homophobic slur tossed out by Pimp C. Like, aside from that one small unfortunate misstep, this song is absolutely perfect, peak OutKast, almost peak Southern rap, it's SO GOOD! It's so good, man. Hold on tight to the memory of this song, stormy waters ahead.

93) "I Got it from My Mama," will.i.am

"Be a good girl and thank your mama/She made you steamin' like a sauna." BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP "Hello, my daughter!" "Hi, Mom!" "To what do I owe this call on this lovely Tuesday morning?" "I just wanted to say thank you." "Aw! Sweetie! You just made my day!" "Yeah will.i.am wants to fuck me because of how you made me so hot." Who on earth okayed this song. Who heard this and said, "okay." Your reaction to this song should not be "okay."

94) "Over You," Daughtry

One of my favorite things on the World Wide Web (aka, The Infonet) is "How You Remind Me of Someday," which plays one Nickelback song in one ear and a different Nickelback song in the other to show how Nickelback uses the same chord progressions and drum fills in two songs they said were different. There is a video that no longer exists, likely because Vote for the Worst no longer exists (I think they made it), which played this song and Nickelback's "Photograph" side by side to similar results. What I'm trying to say is, rock died despite Foo Fighters' best efforts and now we all have to listen to Imagine Dragons because Daughtry couldn't be bothered to try harder.

99) "Wake up Call," Maroon 5

Like all Maroon 5 songs, this is acceptable.

26 August 2017

70) "The Race," by Tay-K

This was certainly a freestyle. I feel like I'm missing something here, like there's some reason this song charted beyond my limited scope. A lot of the search results on YouTube brought up Lil Yachty, so maybe there's a remix of the freestyle, but I honestly don't give enough of a shit to contend with Lil Yachty after Billboard said I wouldn't have to. I hope he's set free or whatever assuming he's innocent of whatever people claimed he did or that he’s served enough time for whatever he did, again, I’m not going to research because his rap name is dumb and I don’t feel like sifting through Google. I’m sure it’s bad, whatever the situation is.

76) "Patty Cake," by Kodak Black

Nope!

81) "OMG," Camila Cabello ft./Quavo

This is actually a reasonable trap song. I can't tell if I'm actually enjoying this or if I'm reacting to the novelty of a pop starlet trying her hand at a trap impression, but I'm pretty convinced this is a strong, strong attempt at a trap song from someone who probably has no business trying to enter into this genre. I'm also kind of refreshed by a trap song which doesn't create a new gross dick descriptor in every verse. It's pretty alright!

82) "What About Us," by Pink

This is a tasteful amount of '90s dance influence. Maybe it's not just '90s dance but dance in general, I don't think dance music has undergone a ton of change in the past ever, but like y'all get it probably, the way this song is more propulsive than the standard "we've got to do something!" ballad. It has a nice kick to it, is what I'm trying to say, and a nice kick is generally what Pink has delivered in her long and storied musical career, as she becomes the 32nd member of the '07-'17 Decade Dance Club. Would that Choice had hit and Pink could join Tim McGraw and Jay-Z in the Double Dance!

84) "Perplexing Pegasus," by Rae Sremmurd

look. when you put the word pegasus in your song title, i have certain expectations. i am not looking for a boilerplate trap song about how foreign cars make girls horny. i am expecting something MAJESTIC AS IS BEFITTING A WINGED HORSE. this song has utterly failed to meet my rigorous standards for songs about pegasi. i am being informed that the pegasus is also a foreign car and i 100% do not give a shit, give me fantasy trap or give me death.

94) "B.E.D." by Jacquees

This dude seems like a legit vocalist. I dunno, I think 2007 took me to dizzying highs, and 2017 is giving me a bunch of songs that would get a B like it usually does, but in this case, this song gets a B because I think the dude aims to one day do better, more ambitious things than this song. Also, let's consider the moral downfall of America as told by the progression of '90s R&B music. In 1997, we had Usher considering leaving his girlfriend before taking up with a new lover and four nice boys begging that a young woman (or four!) show them mercy and forgive them for hurting her, and the one song that was about fucking was laden with innuendo and operated under a set fuck schedule, “fucking will be taking place in the designated fuck hours.” Like, it was about fucking, but the fucking was inferred, not stated. In 2017, we have this young man saying "I don't wanna love/I just wanna fuck" in the chorus of a song that was released to radio. Also, a Nazi wasn't president in 1997. It truly was better back then.

95) "Chillin' Like a Villain," by Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart & Mitchell Hope

WE NEED TO MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR THESE DELIGHTFUL DANCING TEENS. This song is woefully bereft of Captain Hook's gay son, yes, but most songs are, so we won't hold that against this delightful dance jam I am in no way qualified to speak about, since I have not seen the film and am also turning 28 on Saturday, like what is this life choice I have made for 30-some weeks in a row.

99) "Havana," by Camila Cabello ft./Young Thug

This is gonna make for a dope Postmodern Jukebox because it's already halfway there, it already kind of sounds like someone listened to "The Girl from Ipanema" and said, "How much can I water this shit down before the song is ready for 2017 pop radio?" A lot, but also, I love the way horns herald Young Thug's arrival, and I think this is the most I've enjoyed a Young Thug guest spot since his verse on that one Drake song. It's really cool that Camila Cabello is exploring all these different genres, and I've ended up enjoying all the songs she's put out this year. I mean, I miss Lorde? I wish we would've kept Lorde around? But Camila Cabello's been pretty dope, her songs are a lot of fun, and I'm okay with her being the current queen of pop, if that's what the world has decided it wants.

Who won the week?

These girls are smart, Three Stacks, these girls are smart. Play your part.

2017: 12 1997: 11 2007: 10

2007 on that comeback trail! They’ve got a few weeks to collect Ws before it settles in for what looks like a long winter. Can it overcome 11 songs of 1997 nonsense and whatever OK songs 2017 will bring to us next week? BET ON IT BET ON IT BET ON IT BET ON IT